Mary Lynn Rajskub

00:00then life 4 3 2 1 live and we're here with the Arnold Schwarzenegger of comedy Mary Lynn Rajskub when how many people have ever on one shot spelled your name right or pronounced it right writing now that you mention it because they're going to introduce me and it's just it just gives like an instant obstacle like when you were coming up as a comic there had to be a big issue I got fur for the emcee to bring you up or the the DJ when they bring you up with you and the emcee good DJ or the emcee I don't know I never really looked at it that way well somebody had introduced you yeah I think I was in such a bubble I didn't really and I wasn't on the road hardcore and I wasn't I don't know I wasn't identifying with me as a performer so much was I c'n that means I was doing performance art and people were laughing I didn't know why they were laughing right I moved to LA

01:09I'm like yeah let's do shows like I didn't know I didn't think about it as like you're introducing me I'm a performer I would say only in the past couple years have I done the road proper but I came in the back alley for everything for comedy for for acting like if I had come to LA with a stack of headshots like hey I'm ready for acting it would have never happened I just came with a group of people like I want to do some live shows like no business being in LA no business just doing weird shows cuz that that's what I was compelled to do like I could not have done it had I said alright you're gonna do acting and performing especially not comedy like I didn't identify with that at all I had to figure out why people were laughing that's fascinating so when you first got into show business what was the goal it's a weird bird show business isn't she a special lady I'm auditioned ready

02:11today by the way you notice I have a good brow and a good eye shadow line woman I'm really more of a woman now than I've ever been what's that about what's that about yeah just growing up letting it go letting it go I look back on my 20s and I'm like you were a hot like what was wrong with you but I was so incapable of anything like so socially I mean I still am but I'm much much better now but it's like weird yeah awkward and just but that's I don't find you awkward so I think it's odd like every time I've talked to you about very fun comfortable conversations I never found you to be awkward I don't find you to be awkward either maybe we just don't make each other awkward is that weird my mind just went to an Instagram app oh that was creeptastic in my own mind that one that goes in clothes get programmed sorry it's all right but I honestly don't find

03:15you to be awkward like every time I've ever talked to you it's been very very comfortable very easy I agree but I would also say that's kind of a recent development but you and I are speaking well as when I started coming back to the comic strip yes which was what a couple years ago yeah three now I guess three something 14 November of 14 I think it was because we've been in each other's orbit since right you know yeah Newsradio yeah but I we didn't really get a chance to like yeah hang out or be friends yeah till the store you know that's such an interesting little community right it's like everybody just kind of like yeah like my talk about a positive community like I was just explaining this to some of the other day like when I first started going there in 1994 there was a lot of conflict between comedians there's like communities that didn't like comedians like oh this guy doesn't

04:06like this guy and she doesn't like her and they all yeah duked it out with each other a little bit there's none of that now yeah you're supportive that places it's amazing everybody's friendly yeah I love it like there might be a hundred of us there on a regular basis like in and out doing Sunday through Monday yeah and there's no conflicts it's really cool did you I'm sure you've talked about this a million times did you did you ever stop going there for a chunk of time are you I stopped for seven years oh yeah I stopped for seven years after I had that dispute with Carlos right yeah yeah that was when he was way more popular than me like especially as a comic and the comedy star took his side and I was like you guys and I I took off it wasn't really the Comedy Store either it was this one guy who was the manager cuz Mitzi actually I called Mitzi and gave her the whole rundown of

05:03what was going on I told her and she's like why I just stay away from them and then she gave me a spot that night and then they called me up two hours later tell me that I was banned so I said wait a minute I just talked to Mitzi like she gave me a spot she told me when to go up so if if she's not running the store oh yeah who's deciding I'm banned you are like what are you doing like do you guys understand what this is I mean this is like a little you're having a little battle for like whether or not you're going to let people profit off of crime like this is really what's happening you have thoughtcrime you have intellectual crime you're plagiarism and you're allowing one person you're knowingly allowing them to profit off it and no one's doing anything about it so when one of us does something about it then you're going to punish that person you're basically

05:53highlighting everything that everyone was afraid of that's a good point what is like what were the what was the reason for your being banned because you were well because their end of it I think was because we had made a video with me and Carlos arguing on stage and then we put it all right okay this was you know somehow another in violation that should have been kept inside the club and I'm like you don't get it you weren't protecting us no one was protecting us my agents dumped me over that oh yeah over that yeah I was with Gerst they dropped me holy we had that call me up to tell me they essentially in this long roundabout way we're trying to say that I either had to apologize or they couldn't work with me anymore though that was the gist of it and I had to make them spell it out okay let me say this really clear you tell me if this is what you're saying you're saying

06:45you want me to apologize or you can't work with me anymore well we're done no there's no apology and we're never gonna work together I appreciate everything you've done for me and it was really nice to the guy who was it wasn't his idea of my agent so you're a great guy I see I'm giving you a hug but you guys have to understand that you're making a choice it's gonna affect the rest of your life this isn't just a small thing you don't have a few how many years you have in this life well this year is going to be highlighted by this decision this is gonna be a why did the agent take that stand did they represent him as a yes okay all right so they needed to make nice would that they made way more money than me so it was he was way more valuable to them and so I'm like you gotta make this is you sell art that's all you guys do okay you're not making anything right you're just if

07:34Mary Lynn comes up with the show if this guy has a tour if she's doing of this or he's writing a book you make money off art that's who you make money off now here you know a guy's stealing other people's art and your answer to that is we gotta stop people that are exposing it did he ever change I hope he did he's gotta find Jesus did it sort of yeah sort of and then he kind of took it back it's hard to admit should I try one of these should I try this are you ready is it insane I should only have like one sip right do you know my friend Tate Tate Fletcher probably seen him around the store before big giant gorilla it's his company they're very good but don't drink the whole thing Marilyn I like it but I'm gonna do it if it's a grande Coffee yeah that's about a grande and coffees were the caffeine but it's strong no I gotta go work out Jesus I gotta go into your isolation tank you

08:34new find yourself I just found myself and I peed a little that's okay so you started out as a performance artist like that was your idea what did you want to do that was your idea your big idea I went to art school for painting and I was got really frustrated when people started to critique the paintings and I was supposed to be you know the getting more serious in art school and more conceptual and everyone was doing something different and everyone was critiquing it in a different way and none of it made sense to me and then the idea of having to sell that object that you made so you're gonna make something that's useless I mean that makes it sound like I don't like or appreciate art I just for me I didn't I couldn't grasp what the next thing to do was you know you're poor you're an art school you're making something and then you have to go sell and market that thing

09:32and I also was frustrated and kind of like boiling inside and needed to express myself so I started doing performance art in school and I was like when you say performance art that's a pretty open-ended description so oppan ended there were so many like weird performance art things that would happen we I mean we had performance art class there was a guy that like taped his genitals to the side and put on lipstick in a mirror and that was his performance art piece or the girl that way and we would all sit there and watch it genitals did he go naked and pull it aside or how did he do that that's a really good question I like how your mind just went there you're like what actually happened I think I blocked it out because I think you could probably get away with doing that under the guise of it being something you're doing you know in a class someone yes yeah yes you get away with that

10:33so pervy I think I was focused on his beautiful lips I was trying to be polite and I look down there another woman was obese and her piece was she had pre-setup we weren't where she was doing the performance butter Pat's in like dominoes like a you know a few thousand of them in a line and she was obese and she crawled on the ground she didn't actually eat them but it was something that's weird my mind kind of drops off I remember specific parts of it but I don't think she just was collecting the butter pieces and crawling a new way that was her he's another guy the this was I went to Detroit and then finished in San Francisco and San Francisco is known for being a real performance art history a lot of the you know the most famous performance artists nobody knows where that was the scene was in San Francisco so uh it was to store a really beautiful campus

11:25overlooking you could see a Lombard Street on one side you could see the water on the other side and another guy's piece was to jump from the second story to a tree was like that he may or may not have made the jump and that was his art piece his art pieces jumping from a window to a tree yeah what the I know this other guy the room where we had our class he had a bread machine this was back you know bread machines were new technology had a bread maker you know those machines you can make it I guess it just does the dough right right maybe it bakes it it I think it just needs the dough and then you bake it I don't know if you bake it in the machine right no you bake it in the machine that's all coming back to me he bakes it in the machine we come into the classroom as he's baking it there's always like a reveal in these pieces right so we come in he's taken plaster

12:16from the wall and put it in the bread he's fed us the bread half of us get it half of us don't and there's plaster in the way why do you put plaster in his bread it was something about I mean is um get the bread some don't but even if you get the bread there's plaster and so in your face oh my god see there's something about like performance are in slam poetry those I did slam poetry - that was my dude here's the best part is I got zeros got zeros yeah you didn't get any why I never really wrote any poetry I was just into the performance of it and I so you didn't have a pony I was doing comedy oh no and I word which was very real for me but I think I just wanted to express my I also had an ex-boyfriend who he said the comedy was his life this was when I was like 19 and I think I attached to people like I thought he was the because he would be rude to people like that was his version of

13:32comedy was like bossing people around or one of his bits was like having a whistle and directing traffic I mean really adolescent like but for some reason I was really attracted to him and like I wanted to be him anybody who was like extroverted or something that I wanted that's I was attracted to that right so so he was like comedy is my life and I do this open mic and I was like I'm gonna do that open mic and I had taped like phrases to my body and and phrases from commercials or snippets of conversation that I had heard and I went up and I started reading them and then I would improvise a little bit and I'd be like waxy buildup or whatever I'm just repeating just letting it all filter through and come out my mouth for five minutes of whatever the open mic was and I started getting laughter but it was like awkward laughter after the fact of that uncomfortable like what it

14:31what is she doing but my commitment level was so high that the fact that it didn't make any sense just caused laughter right right right right well that works sometimes with just even with comics you know absolutely there's a lot of people that are just really odd and if you saw them you would get it but if you saw what they wrote on paper or what they said just written down on paper you would be like what that doesn't make any sense yeah well I thought you were gonna say which is a similar point that that it comes in the pause and after what they're saying even if it doesn't make any sense but you're saying sometimes people write things and it makes its own sense when you hear them yeah yeah yeah I mean but it's also just about being full yes yes yes yeah and those pauses yeah that gives you especially something's really absurd gives you that opportunity to go

15:22yeah you don't want to just hammer them over the head with it so you just started doing that and how did it lead to actual stand up stand up it was a really fun time in San Francisco because the comedy clubs were closing so a lot of comics were coming to these Open Mic poetry rooms and one of my favorite rooms was in this bar and also I was from the suburbs of Detroit and so just being in San Francisco that was a real City and a friendly city you know like it's small enough and it's beautiful and they have a real arts scene and it was the first time that I had seen like a real counterculture and people that would hang out in coffee shops and a lot of young people that looked like I did so I'd go to bars for this open mic and there'd be you know like a transvestite who was semi homeless but it was you know made up who was like reading her poetry and I was like I'm in like I'm

16:17done and I had no money and I would sit and crouched on the floor and drink like a half a beer and be like oh this is crazy and I would watch her read from her journal and I did a similar thing where I would just and it was always I didn't I didn't know my own mind or my own thoughts really so I would write down random words and I would perform it I mean and still now it's you know I've progressed a bit but it's like it informs you how the audience reacts or it begins to and I just love seeing all these like different people and what what they thought they were saying versus what they were really saying and what their intended effect was and how people were really seeing them anyway so so comics started dropping into these rooms like Patton Oswalt and jeremy kramer and blaine capatch and you know the Greg Behrendt all these Ron Lynch people that were more San Francisco

17:08affiliated that were there at that time would start doing these open mic nights but because a comic is so versed in their own voice that watching them was so I was like oh that they know how to speak and they're more polished and then that was attractive to me so so I kind of gravitated towards and there were all these alternative rooms that weren't comedy clubs right and that was like I loved that I just loved it because there was room for mistakes there was room for the in-between you know it was like that the the the real alt scene of that time yeah that alt scenes interesting it's always interesting with like a little branch of a style of comedy breaks off you know and some people do it because that's like it it's it feels more true to them right and then some people do it because it seems like the cool hip thing to do and then some people it's just a

18:07combination of both right the all teens is an interesting scene you know cuz it also is attached that one place it doesn't pay anybody the UCB yeah I was always like wait what oh you mean because they're making money and no one else is making yeah I was always like what huh people don't get paid at comedy clubs as well well sure they do comedy store pays you you mean like 25 bucks 25 bucks for regular sets and then you get a lot more than that if you do the main room right the main room they pay you real money you're saying why doesn't UCB throw 25 bucks you get something people are paying to go there we're paying for gas there they're traveling there right you're selling tickets to see them do their art right yeah when if you're gonna take that line then everybody should be paid a lot more there should be a genuine percentage it's really only going back to that

19:01argument from the Comedy Store yeah yeah but that was a it's a legit argument yeah it's not legit that look this is where we live and it's a really important place to work out right right so we need it and we want it to be there yeah and they pay you a little bit but if they didn't pay you anything like the Comedy Store went UCB and just didn't pay anybody anything oh that's interesting so you're saying isn't important it's something yeah like especially it was important when the club wasn't making any money so if the club I mean the old days the oh are you know you got that twenty-five bucks like look they're given 25 bucks to 15 people fine how much money do they really make I get what you're saying because UCB you're saying has that vibe of like it's a workshop and you're like you guys are making money off they're opening up new places right I mean this is a business right I'm not

19:51telling them what to do or telling anybody your performance or do I perform there before right it's just it's kind of it's like these festivals I got invited to one of those festivals once they offered to give me a pass a gold pass where I could watch all the other acts that's what they were gonna pay me with they were gonna fly me they weren't gonna put up right you know the one are you gonna give me any money I reminds me of that thing in Steve Martin's book where he's he where he made that choice and again a very different time very different scene where he's like I'm only headlining for money like he made that conscious choice that would not work now and like you said we you know I work out in town I don't expect to get paid but it does it makes a difference that the Comedy Store there's a that system that is in place really works you know it's like I'm a paid regular that was a big

20:36deal yeah cuz I remember I had been on on the road doing comedy really for the first time in the club proper even though I had tons of stage time but you know back connecting it back to that alt scene where it would be a different thing every time and I didn't not quite know what I was saying so you know in the past four years it was when I did the six shows per weekend and you're like I'm your entertainment for the night and I you know learned how to do that like right people came out to see you yes tell them what you're talking about repeat your theme you know smile talk to people you know I learned how to do that and what was my point Ohio in any way confined by that because you your beginnings were so sort of free and I think it's like a reverse the confinement of that is serving me because I needed to do that it took me I went about it like completely opposite

21:35I was so organic that now I'm finally getting some structure I'm like for the first time like oh that's a joke honestly was like like I said I had no idea why people were laughing I knew I liked it but I wasn't exactly sure where it was going to come and I knew that I had a deep connection to it you know that's what propelled me to do it I had a need to do it it was the only thing and it kind of saved me I needed to I mean not to get all overly dramatic a comedy kind of saved you performing yeah because I just was really didn't know how to express myself and it's still to this day is like an ever kind of deepening thing you know yeah it's a it's a very weird discipline right yeah it's a weird thing to get involved with chased down these ideas and try to figure out how to flash a mountain do you feel like you were always because I see you as somebody who's like so powerful and such such a

22:42strong point of view and strong belief system do you feel like you've always kind of been that way no I don't think so I think comedy for sure makes you chase down those ideas like what is what is your real feelings on things yeah because you're thinking about things so often and then as you're saying things you think about people's reaction to them that's a big one a big one is that comedy has allowed me to really pay attention to other people's reactions more than like I think I wanted to because I think if I had my own way and I had nothing to do with stand-up I probably would be way more antisocial way more guarded and protected and way more insecure because I hadn't answered those questions I didn't pose them up myself because they made me uncomfortable yeah so what stand-up allowed me to do is like I wasn't the most outgoing person obviously right yeah yeah I was very

23:35insecure and even so I'd get like social anxiety I've talked about this before but I would like talking to a bank teller I'd been I'd know that I'm next to talk to the bank teller and I'd kind of freak out I wouldn't know I would wouldn't exactly know how to talk and say things and do it right but I changed from teaching martial arts when I started teaching martial arts I learned how to project in front of like this big room full of people with something I never imagined I was going to do any public speaking before that it was never on the menu I never even thought about it but when I taught classes I had to teach them and I was teaching like in universities I thought it'd be you and I taught at some other places some other gyms stuff and you know you have to get these people's attention you have to be clear and you have to have confidence and but I knew what I was doing right I was just

24:22gonna ask you that it probably helped a lot for sure if you were nervous you were like let the skill kind of take over yeah we would oftentimes like if we opened up a new school somewhere where we'd do a demonstration and then you'd give a speech afterwards explain what the martial arts were but we'd do a demonstration first like people would hold like boards and and kick them and stuff like that which we never did in real life we only did four demonstrations like we never trained that way but my point was like getting into stand-up I didn't have a particularly clean point of view I think I was 21 years old I was thinking was a you know I didn't have any life experience other than martial arts and girls like that was all I could talk about and I didn't think I knew martial arts weren't really funny so I was just relationship stuff but um hey guys how about when we hit

25:09that block we don't really do that I'm all right kicking those blocks of wood guys seriously yeah yeah I mean I had a similar thing of it it helps ya to just even say anything and to be like oh I exist I have a voice and I'm just now starting to I mean I have a lot of material that's true but I'm just now kind of starting to build that deeper the belief system thing you know like I talk about my personal life and there are kernels of things in there but it's it's scary to kind of come out yeah but it's fun cuz that's what people want you know that's what like that's what gets it going and that's what gets everybody excited and that's what that's cool yeah you know what comedy has taught me one really important thing as a person you're not done like there's no there's no like you're a finished product yeah I did it no you change depending upon your attitude about how you look at your very

26:13existence right now I get shipped within an hour it could shift back and forth you could shift in a day or two it's like if you take a few weeks off just can I ask you that do you is it hard for you to get back yeah always feels weird I haven't done it very often but I did a couple of times in my career where I got like surgery or something like that I had to take some time off and then I got burnt out once maybe like five years ago and I took three months off it was that that was crazy that was real weird but then when I got back into it it was before I came back to the store too so it was a real issue with me like going on stage like The Improv never felt like home it was like a place to around it's a nice club but it never I didn't hang out there I just felt weird didn't feel the same so I just do a set there and then I get out of here so I was missing like the

27:02camaraderie aspect of it and I just finished a special and I just didn't want to do anything for a while I wanted to chill and so I took like three months off but then when I came back I came back with like a lot of purpose like I really was enthusiastic about I had been thinking about coming back for like a couple of weeks before I actually did it but you you're always working at it like always it's always you're always you're always in in the process of like reaffirming thinking things through understanding who you are you know it varies with your health varies with how you're eating it varies with who's in your life like your comedy radically varies like how you interface with an audience radically how you look at yourself all that varies so much it's never done have you ever been on stage and just been not angry but like not enjoying kind of not wanting to be on

27:58stage and it shows in your performance or just do you always get out of it through performing yes leaking it you can get upset there's there was a woman who kept heckling me in the front row of the Comedy Store just interrupting - stopping bits before I had a chance to explain them and then finally how to kick her out and it was so annoying the way she did it was it was so entitled like she was entitled to voice out her opinion in the middle it was it but I was doing this chunk last year on my last special about this guy who broke into the White House that a guy just broke into the White House he would think there would be all these things in place to keep someone from breaking the White House the guy just humped across the lawn ran across Lord gods in the front door and there was only a girl sitting there one unarmed girl who by herself he smacked her to the ground and just ran through

28:44the white house and I had this whole bit about whose idea it was to have this leave a girl by herself I think a theme yeah and then that I said that this is the part like this lady interrupted me I said you know a lot of people think that women can do everything men can do right and I go well that doesn't make sense because men can't even do everything men can do so I was in the middle of saying that doesn't even make sense because and the joke is an idea explained do I go the joke is lady I've met Shaquille O'Neal and his dick is where my face is and if the White House is experiencing a Shaq attack I'm the wrong dude to save the world he's gonna run me over but you know and that I tried to explain that and she just wanted to interrupt anything that had to do with men or women so that was annoying and I did not have a good set that night cuz it was like Jesus Christ just get the out

29:38of here I had a kid and she apparently had done that to some guys that were on before it she was so drunk when I was looking at her eyes weren't focusing it's just some smart lady that was drunk that thought she could stop what she thought was sexism probably cuz she was drunk but there's a difference between like you then overcoming it and being like haha that was awesome and then the feeling of I think what I'm I was tense yeah like where you're just inside your own head going I don't want to be here like that sucked like it's not fun wasn't that it was just like I shouldn't have allowed myself to get so upset but I came into the stage upset that was part of the problem is that I had a crazy day with a lot of fucked-up things happened and I carried that energy onto the stage there was a lot of weird that happened in my life that day it was just like enough and not enough

30:30and then her yeah I was like weird with friends and a couple weird business things it was like a compounding day and then this lady was hammered and just and I gave her the better I to talk her into just release and I explained to her this is how the bit would have gone if you didn't rob her I go ok get it see I'm gonna say something outrageous gentlemen more up about myself this is what I do so I did it again and she interrupted again my get the out just get out just get out and I was but I was really upset and you shouldn't really get upset so when you allowed yourself get really upset it's usually because he came into it unbalanced and again right it's always your Duff you're never done like you might think well I understand how to behave now I've got my together I get it but you don't you do get it right now but if you let it slip you won't get it tomorrow if you have the wrong

31:20attitude or the wrong approach and the wrong dude cuts you off you're like off like so would that come from you know and going back to what we're talking about earlier when you said you're not awkward I eat two things so you are you're much more of a teddy bear now than you used to be don't you think I've never thought of myself as a teddy bear but well when I see you now you're just like you're just not I'm not I'm not saying you weren't like this before but you just are so like positive and loving loving and kind of like you know you can feel it and whereas and then you know there's a lot of baggage in the past and we never not baggage but like I was like oh that guy hates women oh that guy hates me but that was also when Duncan was hanging out with you and you know he and I just broke up so that was the baggage I was referring to but like oh yeah I just

32:13thought you know you have such a strong energy that I was like that guy and I not that I it's weird because I wasn't like I just was I just never pictured us talking easily yeah I'm not saying that it wouldn't have happened then because it just didn't but I was like whoa what's up with that dude I get it I've said on stage a bunch time so I like I look like a sexist like I look like I would be a dick I just that's what I look like you know there's like not much you could do but if you lift weights you have a fat head you know you look like a there's just right there's no thing I was like kind of watching some your recent podcasts where it was like one of the shirts the feminine for the future is feminine the future is feminine I want to wear I want to wear the future is masculine you wear the futures feminine and then we just walk around purchase image of

33:13your so I'm like beetle but opposite like if I built my compounded be like crystals and lavender and soft you know the problem with that statement the future is feminine is is the problem with every single statement you cannot boil down the future you just can't that's why it be funny preposterous I would like to just where the future is masculine and just not acknowledge it what's up yeah the future is masculine guys get used to it we should roll pack of cigarettes one of your sleeves like the Fonz you man that masculine for you yeah no it makes no sense no silly oh and then the other thing that when I was talking about going on the road which I was gonna mention coming back to the store cuz I was there in the 90s too it was just like a terrible place and a bad man I've been like vibra dark and dank and what year did you get there I moved to LA in 94 and I was in San Francisco for

34:15a couple years before that 94 95 did you perform at the clubs in San Francisco as well I did I did bars I never did the punchline have you still done it have you done saying I have yeah it's quite amazing it's great I was amazed I love it yeah Cobb's was a little strange big ceiling it's so bad and the people are way back there that are in the balcony there way back oh my god hi back there my husband who like he used to before we had a child he used to come see my one-woman show that I did I think he came like every way he saw me at Cobbs and he sat back there and he it was a great assessment cuz he goes you've gotten really good cuz I bet on the road it but he goes that's a really hard room because these people especially that Late Show like they've just had dinner and they're there and it's so dark and it's it's like a room I don't know some people love it but it's

35:07a room that's sort of seen its heyday at a different time that it would be packed out I don't know maybe you like it I do like that room but it's a different room that it used to be do I see the old cobs that's where I met man I did uh that's where I met al Madrigal al Madrigal started working together in like 1919 8 or some chili yeah there's a long time ago but the old one was tiny like just a little bit bigger than the belly room I mean it was like that like a hundred seats or something like that was really ridiculously small I think I might be off by a little it might be like a hundred and thirty but they would stuff everybody in there to get 130 and who's this tiny little Club and I used to work it even though um it would actually I could make less money there than I could at the punchline I liked it better I was like this place is better it's like it's grimy it's tiny

36:01and then Tom Sawyer the guy ran it was like a huge comedy nerd dude really love comedy and so I like that and like any supporting good comedy it so I started going there so then when they turned it to the new place I was like this is the opposite of what you guys write you guys were the most intimate club and now you're the have Ernest that makes sense good clubs have to be like there's gotta be right on top eeeh I came back from going on the road for the first time and doing the six shows and I was on 24 which I love that we're just full-on comedy shop talking by the way that we do that all the time I do that a long time it was a feeling usual no no I know I like it I like it um I just got a little self-conscious for a minute like anyway the rooms and the ceiling it's interesting anything I think people enjoy it too because they like hearing people who are

36:58professionals talk about what makes it good and what makes it and then when they're there themselves like oh yeah the rooms kind of high in this place oh this place okay so I was on you gave me a confidence to get back in it so I was on 24 when it came back and we filmed in London because it had been done for like two years and they brought it back and it was the end of that airing and it was the first time I was going on the road as a comic so because my face was on TV and people are super into 20 for my shows packed out the first time I had ever gone on the road right first 4550 minutes show and I first hit the stage at like side splitters Tampa or whatever it's like used all your shows are sold out and first of all my opener and my middle are like this is great it's sold out but then when they got on the stage they come off they're like your audience is weird I guess

37:50there are 24 fans and they were oh they don't come out to clubs right I would sometimes have a somebody sitting like with a this guy had an article of clothing that I had worn in season three so I'm like trying to do comedy like okay like you just want me to sign your thing but you know and my approach was because I'm in my own head so I'm like hi so my name is Mary Lynn and doing doing my like I'm uncomfortable and that's where my comedy comes from and the whole vibe was like what you know like you're TV star like we came to see you and I and I had to adjust and like take that in and then not only take it in but talk about it you know like yeah you know and I would just be like Jack Bauer and they'd be like oh I like losing their and like I would have make somebody in the audience like you're my Jack Bauer and then I would just you know I'd make it like 5 10 15

38:39minutes of like let's talk about it because it was such an amazing thing yeah you know and it was to me too but I have this hope that was the only drama I had ever been on and I have this whole other world of comedy that I have been doing but the intersection of that was just like bizarre but but then I you know like you said you're never done and you never know what's gonna happen and you adjust to it so I would do the 24 stuff and then I would go into my stuff that's my stuff about my life and my personal life and my point of view and then that became really gratifying you know once I sort of brought them in like did the thing that they needed to hear about which is also a part of my life so you know how long did it take before they stopped coming to see you because you're from 24 and started coming to see you because you're a funny comic oh I'm still waiting for that I'm still hoping

39:33for a career in comedy no seriously you know then it dropped off right so I did that same circuit a year and a half later and there would be some super fans there would be some comedy fans and there'd be some people that didn't know why how they were there so then I would have yeah the guy that knows me from Always Sunny in Philadelphia the lady that knows me from 24 and the guy who's out of his mind on drugs going you're not funny and I'm like you know that this poor person is like she's a superstar like why is she in this know other guys like I don't know who she is and that guy's like you don't get what I get cuz she's from Always Sunny in Philadelphia and then I'd pit them against each other like she doesn't get it but you get it and it's like the burden of being so versatile you know such a cross to bear it must have bit of fun transition though once you got through the initial

40:20stages because a lot of people would have bailed like a lot of people okay do in a row this is just too crazy yeah I love it I mean it sucks but I love it it's awesome but it's sort of changed who you are then right like who what'd you think of your cellulite a real comic now yeah yeah I can't you know for so many years I had that little like ooh you haven't done the road like you hadn't really done it and now I'm like no I I know how to do this there's so many people that don't do the road that I wish would leave you know oh my god you gotta experience it you got to go out there you and but they don't want to do like the shitty road well you have to do the shitty road I also learned something about myself the shitty road because I would I would not have a car and I'd take the hotel that they gave me that would be by the freeway that would be not even near the

41:05city and a little bit from the club and I just hole up and then I read me awhile to realize like oh you like that like I like a certain amount of suffering and like a shitty hair I'm gonna go like walk along the freeway and then you know someone would be like one eat why didn't you get a car like I don't know I just walked over to Chili's for lunch and along the grass on the side of the freeway I liked it I liked it so you actually like the Din genus of weird cities so he's saying yeah or I don't know the part of me likes the shittiness of it just a like there was one house kiosk I don't know why there was one hotel room that had like a dining room table for ten and like this big these big plastic flowers with dust all over them and this weird hot plate with foil on it and a walk-in closet but it was the shittiest most rundown like who's who's partying

42:08in here like who's fancy hotel suite is this it couldn't have been shittier and it was yeah I guess it's just fascinating and and I I like being comfortable you know I like having my things but I guess I like that too yeah I like feeling the pain of that comfortable but also because it's in contrast to your life in LA right I mean yeah TV star get some cash right so then you run all the time I've seen those pictures Instagram you just think is isolation tank mine is I get in one of those blowers where the money that's about you in the morning I just get my little room I'm like money just a cyclone of hundreds surround me I get a money massage yeah it's a green but when you're in the road and you're in like a shitty hotel and Pittsburgh something that's in the middle of January you look out and the sky is like a shitty dark smoky gray there's not even a hint of Sun it's noon you look

43:21out nothing yeah everybody's got this look in the face mmm everybody's just sourpuss you just wipe and dust off the window so like that weird air-conditioning or heater that doesn't really work crank on yeah yeah yeah man I once had a lady in a hotel room how did this go she was the receptionist god it's all a blur I don't even remember what city it is one of those low-mid hotels she calls me I'm napping it's like after you do the radio or something I'm napping oh hi um there's a fan down here with a bottle of wine for you can I send him up swear to God I've never felt more unsafe or on the verge of a breakdown first of all you woke me up second of all your your the gateway between but it was such a small town and it was so such a foreign concept to her to me I was like that's inherent right like you're you're the protection that I have should I send him

44:35up a stranger who stopped at the hotel drugs with a bottle of wine got a bottle of drugs for you yeah should I send him huh seemed like a good move and then you know what I did as I actually took his I could hear him in the background go no no that's okay like he actually was a nice guy nice enough above a person that would wanted to bring a bottle of wine that was I think that was her idea and so then I started like instead of going what the are you talking about I just went okay well I'll come down and get it and then I came down and met him but it was so unsettling and that was her idea it wasn't his idea but instead of saying don't do that and setting her straight I took the middle road how well did you go back to sleep after that good I drank that bottle of wine and had the best show of my life hungover the show yeah that's creepy it's Ali Wong has a

45:33great bit I'm not going to do it justice and I don't want to paraphrase it either and I want to tell anybody what it's about but it's essentially the difference between life for a woman comic on the road versus a comic you know it's big difference yeah the the danger level like that's like guys that get to get obsessed with you you know I want to bring you why and and like that stuff that's got to be weird I had another guy it was the guy who held the sweater he's like it's your sweater from season three that somehow online he bought it and then after the show he wanted he showed me I don't know what's wrong with me because I'm like he was a really nice guy like this is a terrible situation but I for whatever reason I'm like he needs me to listen to him right now and I stood there like what is wrong with me he had two thick photo books of the thousands of dollars of memorabilia

46:28and the pictures of all the items and the itemized of from the show and again I'm there I'm looking around like anybody seeing this not just me okay yeah you guys continue cleaning cuz that's the weird thing too right I'm a superstar on one end but on the other end it's like not really I don't have the money I'm not bringing anyone with me I'm you know I'm like a regular headliner most places do have security though right most places yeah sure yeah they just probably weren't aware these they should be paying attention yeah yeah maybe they thought that's a friend of hers there's also weird thing like when do you step in the guy's got a bunch of books filled with memorabilia okay like when that seems okay like that doesn't it's just a he's a very very very enthusiastic fan yes but like a what point in time is ever Hey hey well you know ultimately I'm glad I

47:19did it because I feel like I validated him even though I wanted to go like what happened you spent $75 but what can you do so I was like that's this is great you did a really good job she just reached out with a pair of scissors this is for you and if you're listening you did do a really good job and you have a lot of really cool stuff that no one else has there you go and I'm happy for you was it's always weird when you're a comic tune your your comedienne in nature and you you do something that's not comedic right yeah like if you're a comedian and you do a drama show at 24 or was basically like a drama right the most serious shows ever ever right Superdog I think I messed up no I should have just rolled into another drama she's like I'd open my mouth and show everybody how not the computer genius I am like what is wrong with me I'm a walk I'm a I've set up

48:26obstacles you know we're from 24 what welcome the comedy stylings of what do you remember when Richard Belzer got on Law & Order oh yeah and everybody was like what and then stop being funny like he doesn't do any comedy anymore I don't think I think that should clean up my act that's just should I only be funny now or should I get on another drama well I think you should stay funny just be the funny just do that oh I never completed this whatever the story of going through being on the road and then coming back to the store and thinking like I got it because I've been on the road right right coming back doing the main room don't got it at all dry mouth terrible set guy in the front row is miming falling asleep and mouthing to me how boring I am because I'm like wow who's intense but that's also the beauty of the store because you because you're like oh that was one thing on the road

49:26and this is another thing like you got to go deeper and get real it's running with a weight vest on that's what I describe it you can run faster the weight vest on if your legs are strong but otherwise you're gonna be yeah I love it now yeah it's it's an intense place I remember you and I were talking about something there once like fairly recently within the last year we like I don't know what I'm doing oh yeah I told you I'm not quitting are you serious I could yes sir it's deadly that's me every six days or if I take more than two days off I'm done I don't need to talk to anybody go anywhere or do anything I'm done like that's my nature that's what I fight with what brings you back what gets you from there - it I'll just go do it but you don't have a hundred percent confidence in your future resolve like you don't know in the future do you think there's

50:33gonna come a time where you just a week turns into a month turns into a year and then good 24 again comes on but didn't they do 22 for the black guy yeah yeah okay just okay now it's done it's done yeah I get it with a whole new cast yeah I think it went one season well that's what happens white people you ruined it thanks white people thanks white people you didn't promote it good enough you promoted it great for Kiefer Sutherland yeah black actor and you half-ass and cancel it before people grew to love it I think that was a pretty tough act to follow yeah yeah sure yeah people get angry when you redo something yeah you know you call it the same thing like off it's not 24 I will come up with another name yeah yeah I think that was the hard world's in trouble like that super cool black guy who was the guy that played the Corey Hawkins is that right don't

51:36know who that gentleman yeah he's great they him yeah white people doing people yeah in white white people that's my take on it so we are you gonna do a special you think I'd like to I'd like to you should I want yes I think you're very funny thanks girl thank you I do I think you're hilarious I'm glad you're doing it still like when you were telling me that that you were gonna quit have like you know you were my angel that night you really were you lifted me up from the depths I love that you're like were you serious like no you you lifted me up in the depths of hell why I could tell you were really down I was like that's crazy I know I know who's funny you're hilarious and you're really nice you know so I was like yeah it's a weird thing to do it's weird thing to do and maybe you don't have to none of us do it really I mean there's gonna come a time in my

52:34life I'm probably not gonna do this anymore but for right now but that's it cool that you'd love the live show as much as you do this struggle I really enjoy struggling I do I think it's very important it's very important for my balance as a person especially me I have maniacal genetics my brain is just has to be constantly overrun with things to think about and do my brain just wants to go just come out let's go you need more stimulation let's go you know it always needs something so what I do is just stuff it fill with information work it out get it to run Hills and do jujitsu and yoga and burn that out so that I could be calm and so what you've a lot of what people notice today versus how I was like 20 years ago it's just I understand myself better I'm better at managing my like whatever are the things that make you you I'm better at managing those to

53:37be very positive to just be just overall and my attitude it's very different to its overall just nicer to people and how did you become nicer just realize that when I'm at my best that's who I am and the only variation between that and what I might wait I think you weren't nice before yeah I was nice I just wasn't as nice now I've always been nice but I've always been nice I'm quicker to pull the trigger back that right you know and I'm I'm less much you remember we're at the Comedy Store this was pretty recently and that guy came into the bathroom when I was in there you totally pulled like the best male like strong guy those was so good he liked it because I I think the guy was like on coke or a combo of something and again it's like do I not have a regard for my own being because a part of me kind of left my body and was like wow this guy is crazy cuz he's like

54:38give me a kiss and it's like in the women's bathroom right right and then I think someone he had done it to someone else so it was kind of going around and then I ran into you and I was like yeah that just happened to me and you were like what where is he and you were immediately like I'm gonna beat his ass but simultaneously you were like get security to get this guy was so awesome well that guy was a creep it was so creepy I was upset that I wasn't there as it was happening I know yeah that's unfortunate that you're always going to have to it I rarely like enjoy or that like that response that you had I was like it could be a lady after all I just don't know how to do it well I missed the boat but I think the only reason why you can enjoy it is because it is in stark contrast to how I behave when people are nice so you realize that's the difference right it's like

55:38it's break glass break glass in case of emergency you know that was an emergency yeah real creep what's cool to see that coke don't react at that store lately there's so many coked up weirdos all right there must be making a comeback in Hollywood it must be kind of like put my blinders on to it probably all right there's a lot of people with bright eyes and ideas and business plans yes they want to piss anyway that's what I need if you're the overactive I'm the opposite like if I see a bed out of the corner I'm like ah that could be great right now like that's my avoidance tactic just like it's just gotta sleep yeah I can't do that it doesn't work I just lie there and think but my sort of road of discovering like my hidden anger core I'm like oh like peeling off the layers of like oh she's uncomfortable she's quiet she doesn't react and it's like I don't know

56:33they're in there you've just buried them like all of your feelings in like politeness and so that's comedies help me with that too because I'm early on I was like way too reactive I'd be like Oh what do you think like talking to an audience member it's like no you're in control like you tell them where it's going you steer it like yes you can listen to it but so that's it's teaching me that as well how to like drive the train instead of like I'm gonna be open to you and listen and go wherever you want me to go you know and just react to you there's also like there's a weird feedback loop thing going on there because people like it when you go oh well what do you think you know so you like the fact that they like that you do that and then you avoid the conflict that way but then yeah I swallow it for the rest of the day is you know he's totally yeah well I mean it's like I

57:32said like being a person and being a comic very similar and that you never done there's never done you know you're always trying to fix that thing always trying to tweak it make it a little better and then that's like one of the big arguments for writing new material to the idea is that every time you write a new Act especially when you have to like release a special or some point that you're gonna be better because you understand comedy better than you did two years ago you're just gonna be better if you've really been paying attention and you really are looking at it correctly you're gonna be better I got it so hard cuz you're right you want to avoid it you want to go to that bed right there throw there Raylan Cosi cat fluffed out hello all you get your pets in the bed with you oh you have to keep them out cuz my allergies but then when they sink in surround me

58:25what are you allergic to everything you hats and dogs and you're allergic to them yeah my husband got the cat that's what put it over the edge I had two dogs for the longest time and I ignored it and then it's the weather and the cat and I just went over this edge where I always had like this really bad cold and then I finally had to go and I tried all the organic things and I finally had to go and get the like twice a week but when they tested it it was like everything just like paper and pollen and pets and paper you're allergic to paper yeah Wow but then I got those shots twice a week and what the shots do I kind of Miss my allergist we would have little four-minute chats it's like your inoculating so you start doing a little bit and then you build up your tolerance so they can inoculate you for cat dander mm-hmm yeah that's sort of allergy shot is I didn't even know that there were

59:18allergy shots yeah and he it's like a little cocktail of like all the things the cocktail for me of all the things that I'm allergic to and then I just built up my tolerance Wow so now if you're around a cat nothing yeah cuddle him no ship and we make out well you make out yeah and they used to be if a cat just like licked you or touched your hand or something like that you would get like a little little rub little red area yeah I like you yeah inflamed yeah one of my daughter's allergic to cats we had to figure it out took a while she'd like wake up with puffy eyes and then we got to test it and realized it was a cat so what'd you do she takes a pill no no the cat went to my other daughter my old okay so she's got it in her apartment I used to be allergic to feathers I remember sleeping over someone's house it depends on like where my system is of how it

60:09affects me sometimes yeah like laying on a feather pillow yeah yeah whoa I know people that are allergic to like like styrofoam I've heard of people that allergic like certain types of plastic and Chet yeah just coming in contact with certain plastic make them break out ma'am I'm making this up feels like I got the EpiPen once whoa from getting the shots that was really exciting so though you got the shots your body went into shock because of all the allergic shock yeah and then they had a boom and my allergist was like I he did it in my arm but he he said I didn't even raise it that much but I went home and I was reading and I'm like god I'm itchy I must I must have sweated like I worked out and I need didn't for like a full 10 minutes my I wasn't conscious I was just subconsciously going yeah I know I gotta go take a shower or something and then I

61:04lifted up and it was like like traveling and then I just was like I having attack like I need a benadryl I'm like no one was listening to me and I'm like I think I need a better job and I didn't I was looking for the benadryl couldn't find it called my allergist and he goes yeah just come here right now and then I drove there just like so scared because I could feel it traveling and I'm like you know panicking but also trying to like manage like when you panic and it's a good thing because you have to act fast and then I thought are my eyes gonna close up is my throat gonna close up and then went in there full-on EpiPen awesome it was really good I felt like it honestly felt like I was about to go onstage ooh like a rush yeah Wow it was kind of great feeling but it's almost like it like feels like tinny and like real trouble II like yeah like you get like for a few seconds any and trebly

62:04like yeah like not even caffeine like Beyond caffeine but but yeah like a pure felt like a real exciting stand-up show wow I'm really excited to go on stage right now and that immediately stops the allergic reaction yeah Wow that's incredible right Dylan what do you got it that's what it is you have two EpiPen it's adrenaline oh wow that's a crazy I've done that on an episode of 24 where the character dies and I EpiPen in the heart and they make so epinephrine is adrenaline Wow it was awesome I liked it I would do it every day if I could you should do it every day it's a hormone neurotransmitter and medication epinephrine is normally produced by both your dream glands and certain neurons plays an important role the fight-or-flight response by increasing blood flow to the muscles output the teeny treble feel oh wow pupil dilation Wow and then other stuff

63:05that you get from cold shock proteins that's norepinephrine is that what that is that's like that dr. Rhonda Patrick was she's a giant proponent of sauna and also of cryotherapy and she was talking about the benefits of cold shock proteins and one of them is your body freaks out when you go into those cryotherapy chambers it's like 250 degrees below zero so you get this big powerful burst of norepinephrine you get cold shock proteins these cytokines cuz your body's trying to react to the fact that you have this massive cold environment that you're just trapped in it's like so cold your body freaks out and it produces this really radical anti-inflammation process and one of them is this stuff okay that's also known as an aura Journal oh it's also know because adrenaline is epinephrine okay so norepinephrine that it makes you feel so good it's like one

64:02of the reasons why I really like going to the cryo chamber just to get out no I get out yeah putting your body under stress and then it releases that yeah yeah dr. Rhonda Patrick is also a big proponent of that in the sauna and that's why I install that sauna here but did you call it a protein yeah heat shock proteins heat shock proteins and cold shock proteins it's like proteins that are produced by your body to deal with the effects of extreme heat or cold so your body reacts to strike too much heat will kill you for sure too much cold will kill you for sure but a little bit is actually very good for you because your body has a response to that and that response sort of invigorates your entire system kind of speaks to were talking about performing and Sealand dressing or so going through that stress in order to yeah I listen to a chunk of that ul and Joey Diaz yeah

65:01which by the way I was amazing the way you guys communicated that was like it's really cooling but the yeah the the Pyramid of athletics yeah your everyday and you're living there it just made me think about my own life which you know my parents worked really hard to like make me comfortable and here's your TV and you go to school and you come home from school and how that's the goal and like suburban life is suggest be comfy comfortable we don't realize it but this is all because people before us weren't we're just only living in the environment where people are supposed to be comfortable but you know just two generations back everyone's an immigrant and everyone's really concerned about starving so I have to do go back to the 1920s everyone's worried about dying there were the millions of people died like even during World War two millions of people died by starvation

65:52yes that was a real concern I remember you saying to him you're like yeah it produced it produces really good novel eats it might not be like the nicest situation but there's no way to get really nice situations that produce the world's best combat sports athletes just doesn't happen you have to be strong as mentally physically you have to have experienced adversity on a level that most people can never comprehend so that when the hits the fan that you could look at the other guy on the other side of the cage like uol Romero does and goes I'm gonna go you up I've been through everything already even then the other guy is the same way so you doesn't even work yeah I don't really relate to that like trying to up the dude and going through so much adversity well I want my point of view is like I'm gonna do my chores and I'm so comfortable right now now I'm going to deliberately make myself

66:46uncomfortable in order to do what I know is good for me and that I enjoy doing and that I want to have success in and that takes me to another place in my life but it's you know I do it in a very small way you know I do but it's still really honestly the same thing what Yoel is doing what you're doing is the same thing you're doing something very difficult that you it's you struggle to do it it's hard you push yourself it's recognizing you want to do it yes and then through doing it you get a little bit better at everything did he talk about I only watched the first chunk of it did he talk about his desire to do that or not you know like yeah yeah he does and how does that how does that match with kind of being put in that system I think you asked that early on to was like how do they choose how do you choose you just want someone who's what if you have the

67:38natural ability but you don't want to do it well then you won't perform and if you don't perform you get knocked out of the system so there is the desire there has to be to be as good as he is there has to be desire to compete he wanted to be a boxer initially he said but his father was a boxer I think his brother is a world champion boxer as well he's just a genetic for rique like there's genetics in Cuba and he was explaining it to me - he's during the podcast he was like anybody that thinks that everyone's on steroids just go to Cuba where everybody's so poor and look at the regular people just the regular people forget about the athletes he said I'll take you to Cuba for two weeks and you'll come back you're like I get it I get it there's just really it was a slave colony they had a hard life I mean it's it's that's their Africans that speak Spanish and they live on an island

68:24that's off the coast of Florida I mean it's a crazy spot the whole thing's crazy and was run by a dictator forever and they had some of the best athletes in the world in boxing in judo in wrestling just world-class athletes that had mental toughness the likes of I mean it's hard for the average person even comprehend what those people are capable of and a lot of it is because of that really brutal system that you all talked about on the podcast amazing stuff yeah amazing you know just just imagining that this guy went through that you know it's fascinating because yeah that's not what I want to do it's not what you want to do but you just think like that there's a person out there that can do that and look what happens on the other end you get that guy like oh Jesus you just be in the room with him it's just he's like a superhero yes like Jesus that that is the product of genetics

69:16ruthless training ruthless environment you know one of the most complex and sophisticated sports training systems in the world with boxing and with wrestling and with judo I mean they're just phenomenal over there it was cool it was really inspiring in a different way for someone like me like I don't relate necessarily to what he does is like foreign and amazing but through my own life it's like oh I can be not comfortable and like that's why it seems like a contradiction but it's not like that's what we're supposed to be doing and when you get through that you have a sense of satisfaction and then it wasn't it wasn't something that was introduced to me or taught to me really I mean I did sports a little bit did you figure it out just through the pursuit yeah I don't there was nothing that I really committed to that much or knew how to or if I did it was maybe one small aspect

70:16it wasn't really a thing it was you know the messaging was try to get by try to try to get some shitty job you know it wasn't it's weird because you know it's not not like what was me but like just knowing that even that you had choices that you could try to be something great right it wasn't really something that was discussed or on the table wasn't that busines that's one aspect of all comedy like there not a lot of people that talk about success or the process of it's more of like playing everything low-key right or like a sarcasm yes yeah it's not like that's the sense of being a hipster is that you've got that distance you're not really that's why I love the Comedy Store as well because it's like the opposite is the opposite it's like what's your thing yeah and everyone's super honest and open about like bombings and good sets and bad sets and jokes it just fell

71:21right in their face like that back bar area is so brutal with the people just come back there and go I just ate a fat like people are just so honest about it when they come downstairs you know it's great place I feel super fortunate yeah I missed it so much coming back I mean there's a place for that sarcasm and the in the sure Tom Segar does that all the time but he's also sincere as well yeah there's a there's a thing that's a it's an insecurity it's like a defense mechanism and that's what a lot of people do it for they pretend they're above it all but no one's above it all man you can't don't pretend your vote at all it's ridiculous you do it for fun but pretending you're actually above it all you're missing it like nobody believes you first of all it's like pretending you're psychic or you know you know magic nobody believes you all right so you keep that act going keep your

72:14fake mustache on your cape and your top hat I feel that's like that's silly like it's doing it occasionally every now and then it's fun we all do it to each other all the time but if you have a complete lack of ability to communicate sincerely that's not being hip or cool right that's a defense mechanism and it's a stupid one cuz you don't have much time you have a hundred years if you're lucky they go by like that if you have a hundred dollars you spend a dollar a day before you know what you're broke that's life my son was like why did Michael how old was Michael Jackson when he died I was like guy in his 50s he was like oh okay like that like that sounded right to him I like people that died in too much like basically that's me well Michael Jackson is a craziest case of all time right cuz he was given him they was in administering anesthesia every night so he can go to sleep

73:04dude I was playing that I was playing I want to be starting something and the Thriller in the car on the way taking my son to school and I start crying just because it's like how do you explain what he was and how monumental what he did was like I can remember seeing him dancing the Billie Jean and like how kind of like broke the mold for music and the persona that he had and that level of creativity yeah I was weird to be in the car with us with my kid who doesn't really knows the name but didn't you know right it's just that's not part of his what that's not part of his life maybe she introduced him to that movie that documentary was that one documentary they did this is it yeah oh yes yeah does that get into the drugs and stuff and how many years was he doing that for so sad not very long but here's one of the more fucked-up things this is something I speculated a long

74:10time ago his doctor who went to jail for giving him the anesthesia also testified that Michael Jackson was chemically castrated by his parents when he was young to preserve his voice that's what I suspected I suspected I talked about on the podcast like years ago I was saying this I think he was a castrato which is they take young boys and they used to do this with opera and they would castrate them at a very young age and because of that their body never developed testosterone so they would develop this high piercing like haunting voice it's very strange like we played some of the there is only a few recordings of actual cast rodda's that are available orchestra dough's one of those but the when you play them they're haunting because you realize like this is a kid that was castrated as a baby so they could be a singer like this is up and that's what Michael

75:02Jackson's doctor said they did to Michael they did it through chemicals they chemically castrated him the same his argument is I'm just trying to regulate a situation that was already far gone is that his defense no I mean there's no defense the doctors just you know he's just he killed I mean killed Michael Jackson let him get anesthesia until he died his defense wasn't that he was just saying there's something else right like Michael Jackson was up like his parents literally chemically castrated him to preserve his voice because he was the lead singer of the Jackson 5 when he was a baby and that was part of what was great about him was like oh baby give me one more chance like that voice Sauceda their that voice was nothing like anything that he would be capable of doing as an adult if he grew into a man he would have this big old man get some voice sorry where's

75:56Michael he would have liked a you know like um a Barry White voice or something like you can't have that like you're Michael you know your ABC well he may not have gotten that deep with his voice but I guess if you think that that's to bleep be believed that he'd never had the chance I believe it you know why I believe it because his voice didn't sound anything like a regular man's it didn't sound anything like his brothers his brothers all look like regular grown-ass men Michael Johnson's deep voice that's not deep so that's that cold that's like rain gee I was looking it up all those places I'm seeing that story about him being castrated hurling its tabloids the Sun and that kind of stuff right but it was wasn't it an interview in like the which it was a UK paper and I I just grew it was the Sun which is like not the best hmm this is not the worst right

76:57The Daily Mail's the worst but both of them actual are they're the same they equal yeah I don't think so I'm hoping that's so true the last time you talked about this I got some messages I don't know again like was getting videos like this of showing like examples of his deep talking boys see that's not deep there's a lot of chicks that have weighed deeper voices listen that's his deep voice come on let me tell you about the you listen to the wrong people yeah I mean think of how many women have ruthlessly deep voices I think I think they did it to him his voice was just phenomenal a human nature like as an adult that is such a phenomenal song it doesn't sound like anything that a regular man is capable of singing like the notes that he hits like that voice that he had was just haunting right I'm trying to think of who else is a natural star who has a high voice Oh Prince used to sing in

77:59falsetto but it was very obvious when he was doing it that he was doing it yes whereas Michael Jackson like that human nature song was one of my favorites because it's such a like a slow smooth holding of those sounds these are natural sounds that are coming from them you know it's like this natural like warm affectionate tone to it it just doesn't seem like a man's voice it doesn't seem like a woman's voice either you've got the right wave talking that's different that's like falsetto Hanson you saying that's like a force like a caricature yeah you could say that in that way what is this feel like dancing Oh puber fo Nia known as mutational it's a type of voice disorder characterized by habitual use of high-pitched voice after puberty oh so that some people get that yeah psychogenic in nature yeah and the other thing is you look at his body had no muscle like his body was like I mean he

79:03was a very act of God dancing all the time but he wasn't built like a dancer he was built like a stick you know it was a very very thin guy that's what you would expect from someone who didn't have any testosterone you wouldn't be able to develop any muscle I'm sticking with my theory I might have biases but they're mine they're mine I'm sticking with it dig them up dig them up and check the nuts dag I'm up so Marilyn yes is there anything you'd like to talk about anything work to you in this day and age geez you can't just turn it over to me I'm just trying to figure out where you stand on things um what what um told you I cried too Michael Jackson yeah good reason I think I'm a hypocrite in what way the gun control March that is happening mm-hmm part of me was like I had a friend a mom who said the marches going on right outside our house like who wants to join and as soon as I

80:17clicked on the email and saw what it was in the pit of my stomach I was like no no and then I covered it up with I should do that this would be a really good thing to do and I was then fighting with myself because I was like well you can't have both things at once either you want to March and do that or you don't like those are conflicting things No I don't want to do it I don't think it'll help but then there's another part of me that really likes when people March because I do think it changes the attitude like I'm really happy that the women's March happened and is happening but I didn't go and I feel like it's like a dirty secret and I've started that I have a bit about it that's sort of an unformed bit where I say yeah I live in Encino because that's where you go to give up like next next time you see me I'm gonna be like I live in Thousand Oaks I'm allergic to the Sun

81:30and I describe like the moment I knew I had given up was and this is just an exploratory I still don't have it figured out the moment I knew I had given up was I was making my stay away from my vagina poster with glitter and then I marched out to the curb and was like it's too hot right I don't think they'll be parking at the March and went back inside did you really yeah I mean that's the joke version but I was very conflicted and like oh I should go and both times I was doing stuff with my kid and it was you know a very small mundane day and I was like I'm not doing it and then I saw the women that did it and they talked about being in this crowd and how uplifting it was and I was like that's amazing like I'm really happy this is happening but yet why is it because I don't care and I'm weak or is it because I there's a part of me that believes it's I I don't want to do it

82:35and that it's an actual belief and then I was like you're a hypocrite and then I was like I'm tired I can't think about it anymore but yeah the I don't know I think what I'm saying I don't know if you're a hypocrite you just have you decide just decide what you want to do what you don't want to do you know and you didn't want to go March that day you're a hypocrite it means you just didn't want to do it you're a hypocrite if you were saying one thing and voting for another that would make you a hypocrite that just makes you a bursary just just decided that's not what you wanted to do and also look it is it would be nice if you threw your one into the six hundred thousand that were marching through the streets of downtown LA but there's still six hundred thousand people even if she's just watching it from the news and go you go girl it's not not helping you're not

83:28helping but I don't think you're a hypocrite it doesn't make you a hypocrite does it help do you think those big margins that's what I'm wondering I think it empowers people it gets people very excited about the cause there's a lot of other people that think like minded gets people to watch gets people to put it on the news people at home watch it maybe people feel like hey even though some up things have gone down with Harvey Weinstein and all this other at least it's turning around maybe people are bummed out this guy became the president but now people are active maybe people are paying attention more maybe people are engaged absolutely so ultimately it's almost like that talking about before you get past that adversity and there's actually a benefit to it and sometimes I think even as a country we might need that because we don't have any war over here

84:15everything is over there we don't see it in terms of like right in front of us on a daily basis but this is like a cultural war and an idea war and so I think that these things happening right in front of us and having these uncomfortable moments forces these conversations is just gonna be peaks and valleys in the conversation where people are rude and people are calm and maybe there's gonna be some breakthroughs but ultimately at least say your people or a proactive well I'm Pro progress and I think that all of this comes from people being dissatisfied with how things are currently so the best way to music very it's very very inspiring to me that you know those kids came out and are talking and that's like I love that but I thought about guns yes but it's also sad that so so little is happening yeah there's this it is sad but there's two things that have to be addressed

85:08guns have to be addressed for sure but also mental health has to be addressed we have to address psyche we have to address how many of these people whether it's correlation equals causation or not how many of these people have been on psych medicine and the answer is almost all of them now does that mean that they're they're mentally ill and so that's why they shoot people or that doing these psych meds a lot of people call these the effects of these things very disassociative that they allow people to do horrific things they might not have been able to do before or inspire them to do that there's a real argument there it's not exonerating the people that have done these horrific things or exonerating the people that got the guns in their hands it's not doing that but it is a factor there's a factor that people aren't taking into consideration becomes it comes it

85:53becomes a one or the other thing it becomes an either we need more gun control and we need stricter gun control or we need to do something about the effects of psych medication it's not both and I think it's both I really say well yeah based on how you just presented it it definitely seems like both and it there was an article there was room Saarinen review but there's an article that was written read I got to remember this that was written recently that was really ridiculous and it was saying contrary to popular belief most of these mass shooters are not mentally ill well what the defines mentally ill if they're on psych medication they're all on antipsychotics and psychiatric meds and SSRIs they're almost all so if then they're not mentally ill how are you shooting people and yeah if you can just go into a school and shoot 19 children you have to be mentally ill but the point is if

86:48they're not mentally ill why are they taking medicine for people who are mentally ill this is a article and it's an article who knows what the whether it's a contrarian point of view that's designed to get clickbait hits or whether it's someone who is trying to set up a narrative that's contrary to what the pharmaceutical drugs companies have known for years there's real effects to those things like and they're not always positive and it's a goddamn crapshoot whether or not a pills gonna work for you or not work for you I mean that's why they have abilify abilify is an anti-psychotic they prescribe to people who are on they're on SSRIs but they think about killing themselves like look if you're thinking about killing yourself try this first try to stay these two together maybe that's your mixture and right wasn't it the most number one most prescribed drug in the

87:35country see if that's true still a bill of an anti-psychotic was the number one most prescribed drug in the country look we've got a problem now how many of these people are taking medication because they really need it I'm sure some of them how many people are taking medication because drug companies are pushing this vilifies top selling us drug there you go that's crazy the top selling u.s. drug see this don't blame mental illness blame men well that's true too no she's right there - look I have a bit that I'm doing about all the different up things that men do like it's an anti men's rights bit and it's like that I don't want to do it on the air cuz I'll it up before my special but it's that we have to pay attention to like all the that we do wrong like men like when we look like mass mass shootings is not just well if you want to take credit for

88:25the good things a men have done you have to take credit for all the war like that's also what they've done man if it caused all of it you know and in the bit I go into detail about all these different things it's it's a build-up to something else but this this also has to be addressed that it's always men that's real - it's not blaming every man that didn't shoot up a school we have to figure out what the is it what is it what combination of psych drugs guns and being a man is causing this and if we just want to blame only the tools that seems to me to be crazy they also want to blame the NRA well I see in one point because you think the NRA is helping people get drugged or get guns rather more easily I get that but also no one who is a member of the NRA has ever committed a mass shooting so you have to think of that well well what does that mean I mean are you really

89:15blaming the group of people that wants gun safety to be paramount and the group of people that doesn't want their rights to be infringed or you gonna attack the group of people that are actually shooting these people that's the real problem is that people have actually done it and I guarantee you there's something wrong with every single for that no no no it because everything you're saying I'm just thinking that the person that shoots a bunch of people whether they're on psych drugs whether they have access to a gun mental health issues they're they're isolated to the point where they can do something like that yeah and that quiet little statement that someone is isolated is something that we can't address because it's so complicated and it's such the fabric of how we live our lives it's so much easier to like blame and fight for all these things but how do we fix you know

90:18the one guy who's that his brother was just found was all that porn it's like yeah the guy that shot all the people in Vegas yeah how do we address just how up people are in general or the story about jumping topics but the horrible story about that can't even talk about it the couple that had all those kids the thing nobody knew nobody said anything people yeah I thought they seemed weird like how do we address our disconnection from each other that we that were so fun they're definitely gonna be people that are feel alienated and they always want to they see these people having a good time around them and they want to just flip over the game they want to say you and burn the whole thing to the ground there's always gonna be people like that there's a lot of that that you mean they see people having a good time they see people that are happy that they're in our life like

91:21especially if this kid felt alienated in school and bullied and cast out and targeted and then he gets free and he sees these people that are having fun he just wants to go back and just punish everyone this is a very common theme you know people how do we change that theme how do we help people who are in pain we're gonna have to do a lot of things right because like think of the people that have their children locked up who are these monsters and had they have a kid how is it so hard to get a car license it's and it's easy as to have a kid and raise another member of our culture of our society or our community how is that possible you've you've introduced a poison and toxic member to our community because you did a terrible job of raising them and one of the oldest ones I went to college and then they would I can't remember I think it was a dude it would come out and the

92:10mom would be waiting for him and like so the oldest one was out in the world and still no one could help like whatever mind-melds that one was out and he didn't say that his younger brothers and sisters were locked up I guess Oh God he should be in jail yeah I don't know the whole the details of that I mean it's not I guess it's not his fault he's probably like beyond in the head yeah but just the fact that he could keep that a secret it's like what it's horrific but and you just think about I mean how many people are by the time they have children like it's not even that they're doing a bad job of it they're incapable of doing a good job of it they're too up they're too up from their own upbringing but they still get horny this is what happens in this world people like to have sex they have sex boom there's a person gotta raise it but I'm up and I love meth what do you do

93:11in men am i right yeah it's man it's everybody yes it's definitely men though and that's that's my issue with all this masculine is a lot of these guys that are proclaiming masculinity are really and that the that real men wouldn't be doing this stuff in the first place you would you would look past most of this stuff in the first place you know there's a lot of people in this world that don't have personal sovereignty whether it's men or women and they're not they're not raised correctly and then they didn't go on a beneficial path through life that left them in the current state whether they're a helpful member of our community that's a show about Family Values yeah but you're really about it is about community values like friendship you know like what we're talking about the comedy store friendships it's very important and some people don't have any friends and

94:11that's a dark place to be bullied your whole life don't have any friends you're on it medication you're all up and you're one of those guys out there they just wants to go out with a bang you know I just want to walk into a mall with a shotgun and go out with a bang there's a lot of people that think like that they just don't have the courage to do it I mean even going back to that one night that we when I said I don't know if I can do it I mean it's a smaller example but but still valid you know and you just looked at me and said you can you're good like you're doing it or you know whatever your response was those little moments of like those are big a real connection yeah when you know someone really does care about you and someone really does like you and we're not you know talking every day it was just a moment of kindness and commonality and seeing the other person

95:00we fixed it everybody we fixed it we did it well I never had I never knew that you didn't think well of me or I you and I didn't I well I didn't know you but I just like your vibe to me was like oh like he doesn't like me very much years ago though this probably would have been 2000 whatever right when right but it was never anything weird like I didn't like you I'm sure I probably was not even really on your radar or not even a thing of not liking or liking that I know we never really had any interactions no I just felt your power took it personally I felt your power well we got through that too yeah we did so if you do a special yeah when do you think you'd be gearing up for that have you thought through it like you'd be ready in a year be ready in a month oh my gosh too much no the bed where is that bad I have to figure out because so many comics I know do it themselves yeah

96:19I think I could have the material I want fairly like within the next six months but then I need to figure out the how the how the how there's a few cuz I think I need to know you need to mean to make it first right that's how you do it yeah just make it yeah that's not a bad move that just making it first is not a bad move because when you just make it first then you can just sort of sell it somewhere and if it's good everybody's always looking for new comedy you know there's we were just talking earlier but because I eat up for it when I first went on the road didn't had an hour and then my manager at the time I think tried to sell it on a high level this was before Netflix is what it is now a few years back when they were first started doing ours I think and they were like no I mean she you know all the top-tier people were like no like no one knows her as a comic like we're not

97:22buying it and then she was like let me sell it at the second tier and they were like no and then this whole time I was like I should have just done it myself but I think I've been lucky enough to have get a lot of acting jobs so whenever I'm like being myself starter and then the carrot comes along I'm like I'll do that acting job that'll work so so I've never had to sort of grind it out in that way and that's why it scares me so then that when it didn't sell at that time I just went oh I should have done that myself and now I'm tired of this material and then you know time passes I'm like maybe it's for the best because you know once I do that then I'm really out there as that there might be a commitment issue on my part I know that feeling I know you mean it's just hard it's hard to just dig your heels and decide to do something that's tough like that and then also the

98:12financial investment have you decided to do it yourself yeah I spend a lot of money and hire a crew and make sure the director doesn't it up and make sure it all comes out well you know who do I know that did one and they up the shooting of it and he had to wind up putting it online was it Rory Albanese did he said that he did one that someone up and wind up putting it online or he hasn't released this year he was thinking about doing it soon some of those him somebody else then Kurt Metzger whatever someone funny did you do yours or yourself I did one of them myself yeah I know I've done two of them two of them myself yeah but the best was last year doing it with Netflix that was the best cuz they're so easy they just like go ahead they just let you do it yeah like we like it yay it was like zero feedback you know they just wanted to make sure it was an hour long not too long not too

99:12short I kind of want to do a 15 minute special because I have this thing that I've done for years and I don't do it every often but it's a it's so dumb it's like hey guys take a hey guys take a break Hey ladies guys am i right ladies take a break what's up with these but for like 15 minutes like sup with and their scented candles they're always like smell this try these sheets guys take a break ladies give us a ring if you want a butt like that's funny I like it 15 minutes Isis something they're doing though right that's what I heard yeah no and I would love to do an hour for sure but that's more of a commitment to things and ideas you wanted to have some girth yeah well you could definitely do it but we were also talking about how Amazon is doing specials now too they did Saget special and they err they bought a bunch of other people's specials if they bought Bryan Callen

100:10special they bought all those special some see so all those specials are now on Amazon yeah a lot of places for you that's pretty real in just do it you're saying sure yeah the only terrifying thing is once you do it then you have to write new material that's where it gets scary because then you're then you're left without weapons you start from scratch and you've got grind and dig and claw your way back up to the top of the hill oh you never done that before huh a special most special when you have to abandon all the material no as you were saying that I was thinking I've done one-woman shows I've done but I'm still pulling from like that show because it you know if it's stuff that I still like I'll pull it up I have stuff about you know my son being an infant and he's nine years old I'll talk about my c-section if it's late at the Comedy Store I'm like let's get into it because

101:08I know they show I'm like I mean let's talk about it what's one a.m. let's start with a c-section cuz one a.m. sets those are strength training that's like running with weights on like a weight vest weights on your back and like ankle weights - I've learned to really love them it took me so long to just even leave the house I would I would be standing there at the comedy store like I had to train myself to be like no this is part of it you have to be awake you have to want to be here yeah it was a weird psychological cuz I'm part of me is like I just want to do my set but then I'm my resenting that I'm out of the house like I'm some sort of princess or something how dare it's like no you made this choice you want but connecting the want with what it is right I don't know I mean I've talked to other people who are like like well don't do midnight shows you know but but clearly I wanted

102:06it and I wanted to get the Comedy Store and once I got used to it I was like this is the best like I love doing those late spots not that I wouldn't mind an 8 p.m. shot of a shot you want a lot 8:45 shot in my spot nitro yeah it makes you talk mommy I didn't even get halfway through I'm taking it easy well then you're about 135 milligrams caffeine in let's get it's not bad right it's really good like espresso do you drink that kind of stuff yeah black coffee yeah okay I go both ways wrong I like a latte a woman I like a latte you like a latte with like vanilla sweetener and no natural sugar no no no no like a straight-up nonfat I'll do it all I'll drink a vanilla latte I won't turn my nose at it I'll do a shot of a so yeah it's all yummy yeah your um your I'm on a path of self-improvement through comedy do you realize that I like that this seems like it right yeah

103:07like if you seem like more empowered by this I definitely am yeah that's true isn't it it is it is it's it's helping me it's so decision strange thing well it's what it is is you're fighting your alt roots so those you're fighting the smugness and the sarcasm you're fighting it fighting sincerity like self-improvement gosh is that what I'm doing sure I'm like oh if I could just get on a pilot that I work anymore no commitment he's a zone out you're not even there you know any like you do your best but Simon you're writing whatever so which easier so much easier feeling good sitcom wrapping some logic mmm when I was on news radio I want to I just tried to get on a pilot so bad yeah go on when it was smooth so easy to show up scripts good got a couple good lines remember him deliver him sit in the makeup chair what's wrong with that boom nothing that's coming in someone's

104:23bringing you a drink doesn't feels good it's not as good problems you already killed Mary Lynn you've already crossed over into the dark lands when you kill like Saturday night on the road and you're crushing right when you put it all together and you remember those dark days and you first started doing it again and now you're killing yeah how good's that feel it feels great it's amazing but then I will it I'll chip away like how long will I let that feel great you know maybe till the next morning I'm gonna then it starts all over again then you got to do it again yeah you have to that's how that's the thing there's never a point we like ha I made it let me sit down does you know that doesn't that place doesn't exist you always have the bed don't worry you can always take those down there you can always enjoy those naps the pillow is always there you got now with all your

105:22shots the cat can crawl in bed with you no problem I mean I still have a lot of fear with even last night we how was your your stand up on the spot it was great I loved it so much I spent the entire day going why did I do this I'm not clever enough like I can't think of jokes I'm like just say the opposite just get angry going around like I'm coming up with all devices because I'm like you won't you won't write a joke on the spot you don't know how to write your brain doesn't work like that like a crazy person a nightmare a living nightmare I spent the day going oh really oh you're gonna just come up with jokes on the spot like good luck with that the voice in my head once I got there it was delightful oh this is my real life this isn't the life in my head yeah it was a delight yeah I had to call my friend afterwards and go I think I just experienced pleasure I hate to say

106:22this but that was pleasurable well that room in particular that's that set for people don't stand up on the spot is Jeremiah Watkins show he used to have a show called really yeah that was same show but they called for some reason now what you do is you go on stage and people just have suggestions like I met I make people put their hands up I point to someone and and then they give you a suggestion and right away you just start talking about it and I have some real potential leads for bits from last night like two solid ones where I what I do is I don't want to but I do when I get home I'm tired I've had a long day but I still sent from the computer and I play the recordings and I go back that's good have to that's good have to part of the job have to clean your room it's like those things like gotta brush your teeth I'm gonna sleep brush your teeth got to do it and so you

107:16know how many I'm sure this is fairly normal how many sets I have my phone that I've never listened to yeah that's really normal Am I into the mall you have to the only time I don't listen to the malls when I'm on the road I'm doing four so duty race it after no you save it I'll show you all these in here and you've listened to all them and they stay there how do you know which one to go back to for stuff I don't really yeah I marked them I edit the name see at the bottom that's good yeah but then you won't know how do you remember which bit in this one you just kind of just report it and I go over it with a notebook but the thing with me guys the big thing is I know when something happened like if I do a set and like okay I want a totally different chain of thought yes and this if this branch of the the bit might be a new bit I have to listen to that bit

108:13again yes and so I'll clearly go over there and make sure so common sense but it's so hard to do given me like yeah you're giving me the training right now of the stuff that's like obviously you remember when you went off on that thing go back and listen to it and write it down think about the things you've said today that have helped you write like how you've had to speak clearly do all these things and what did that come from will that come from it comes from trial and error and focus like you're focusing on your act okay that next level of focusing on your act is being like super diligent about recordings and writing and that's what a lot of comics don't do there's a lot of comics that think they're grinding and they'll say that I'm out there I'm doing a lot of sex okay they're not writing any new material though you can't you have to write you have to actually write that's what I

108:58believe you mean maybe you can just write all because you can trick yourself into thinking that you're grinding it out and maybe you are doing a lot of sets and maybe you know you're doing the same set you're doing it differently so you can and that's it that's fine that's its own thing but you're not gonna come up with new stuff from that you're doing something but are you doing like everything you could be doing it's like it's like anything else the more time and enthusiasm you put on something the better you're gonna get at it if you're a guy like save your Bowler and you only like to bowl 40 minutes a day what you want to be the best in the world sure not gonna be I don't care what you want but the time and enthusiasm is that tricky part that goes back to like discipline well also I was trying to make a bigger jump which is how do you connect to being enthusiastic if you

109:52don't well think about how you were bummed out about your set right and you got to the store and you had a trick your brain into being more present and more pumped up for your set right and then when you did it was a joy I guess I'm trying to connect it to what we were talking about earlier about people who get isolated and don't have friends and don't have a feedback and don't have those like tendrils of like being able to make that leap so that it you know you start like eating yourself alive and well I think with everything it's like littles never climb out of the barrel right yeah if you're 300 pounds do not run a marathon right walk around the block and if you're a person who's been living your life with a bunch of negative thinking in your head take steps in the right direction you know take a step but then you have to acknowledge that step like oh something

110:44nice happening today if you do remember that yeah I need to remember it and I need to build on that you know and you can do that anybody can do that you could just do it incrementally I had a great podcast with this guy David Goggins did you ever heard of him so he's a Navy SEAL it was also during my cast but yes yes I heard a bit of that he was talking about how you know he's a fat loser who kept making excuses for himself and just like drinking chocolate milkshakes every day working for an exterminator and he was fat as and he just decided I want to do this anymore and he had these moments where he went he went running he ran three-quarters of a mile then he turned around and walked back home that was his first time running like it wasn't quick that he became this guy runs a hundred miles at a time he was doing how many 100 miles did he do in a year

111:33wasn't it crazy yeah it was some same as we he played it for he showed us the the website and he was like these are all the ones he did in a year it's like what the like every week or two weeks he was doing running a hundred miles like in the mountains and a hundred it's a 24 hour race and he was doing it every week that's insane but this guy started out running 3/4 of a mile and he quit and turned around and walked back home because he was fat and he's eating milkshakes every day like that's the same guy he with these little incremental steps and then just deciding this is who I am now I'm a guy who does what I say I'm supposed to do and I'm serious and I'm gonna change my life now he's shredded just guys a animal I mean he's just a pure a machine made out of like motivation and discipline like you don't get more discipline yeah now but he wasn't at one point in time in

112:29his life and by him expressing that on the podcast that's really inspirational podcast I think it gives everybody hope cuz you like to think that oh that guy who is really good at this thing or that guy was really mentally tough or this girl who's super disciplined who just accomplished his thing after thing she's always been like that no no no no she's nobody's always been like that no one has you start off up you fail you move up you figure it out you make some mistakes you fall back you get back up you go well that's not me I'm me now I realized don't do that anymore now instead don't quit after three quarters of a mile now we're gonna drink water instead of drinking chocolate shakes we're gonna eat healthy food and tomorrow we're gonna do a whole mile let's do it and then you do that my like holy I did it mark it down write it down did a mile and then maybe

113:18take a day off and then maybe the next day try to do it again and then build with everything with comedy with I'm sure that's a case with music with it with it with everything and to recognize that that's your choice yeah because I think of myself there are some mornings where I'm like I'm gonna sit and have a latte and you know another mornings where I'm gonna work out those are all my choices like maybe that one day you're gonna be that person that just kind of sits there and stares out of the window you know that would not be work towards my hundred miles that I'm trying to run but it might be a day where you daydream and come up with an amazing idea and I kind of loved that I spent the day leading up to that stand up on the spot actually I thought we had our podcast was yesterday I had to go back into my text and I kind of like you know how you

114:04do when you like have something to do at one so like at 11 you're like like well I can't completely go do something else so I kind of just agonized and then it was like 12 and I looked and I was like oh it's not even today like you know didn't do what stuff I could have done for a couple hours and now you know I thought we were podcasting so now I have all that time so I'm just like we'll have that stand up on the spot show tonight so I really was would you do you worked out yeah but this waiting here she is who's a pretty girl yeah so i weirdly but it was kind of a productive day because then when I got to the end and was so appreciative it made me so aware of the nightmare of my own head that I was the I was very conscious of what I what I was doing yeah not that got me to that then when it was so easy it really was like waking up from a bad dream when

115:14you're like oh this is life it's not that being engaged and being present and going to do this thing it was nothing like what I was beating myself up like what what is that you've done so many shows but I wasn't even acknowledging that history I was just doing in almost because I had the time and I just let that run rampant in my head that voice of like oh really you think you think you can construct a joke good luck you know why right why did I just feed that monster yeah it's just a common strategy that people do to avoid accomplishing things right and you do it subconsciously to give yourself a little bit of a break because the pressure of like being disciplined and doing things it's hard it weighs on you right so then that becomes an excuse yes not we were talking before the podcast about yoga and I was saying how when I did that 15 days in a month thing

116:23I decided to end it with nine days in a row so I just did nine days II I ended like a week early I finished like a week earlier like five days early but I did nine days of yoga in a row to end it and I was like this is crazy I never would have thought not only that I could do it I mean I know I could physically do it it's not impossible but I didn't think that ever like file through and do that it just seems too extreme and that was the Bikram though yeah half yeah which people like who I do it every day I've did 60 days in a row yeah but I do like eight other things right it's not easy to carve out an hour and a half a swag dick often you mean you're doing your other workout oh yeah I'm still yeah I'm still doing that too I'm not just doing yoga and I'm also doing writing in the podcast and teen whatever UFC I have to do I got made myself do it too but in doing so I realized

117:16like oh you just got to just do it like you just gotta say you're gonna do it and just do it like I did a thing a while back in like 2009 but when I was writing I was a getting ready to do of my Comedy Central special at the time or was on Spike TV that uncommon central I I wrote every day for a month in my in my blog I just decided I'm gonna and I committed to it online I said I'm gonna write every day for a month and in doing that I'm like oh I could do that like you just got a do let's it's a it has to be just a thing you do like oh I brush my teeth oh I call my hair oh I write oh I get up and I run in a while I get up and I lift weights for an hour whatever the it is dude dear did that yoga tip you one way or the other like make you more thirsty or more like tired or more in the day yeah it definitely makes it so much you almost like I give you like I couldn't drink coffee I just was

118:13like I need oranges and water and lemons and oranges and water well you sweat so much but does that did that affect your other workout that you do like was your body just like stop no drink a bunch of water no I mean it's it's easier because if I was gonna do the yoga I would uh I would just do stuff like lifting weights or something that night and lifting weights is as opposed to running yeah sometimes I run I'd like to run though in the morning and do yoga later likes maybe I'll run at 8:00 and then do yoga at 10:30 I've done that cuz it's not a cardio thing really you know yoga and also like I like doing yoga my legs are burnt out because then like I'd get more flexibility out of them I feel like your tissues get really beat up and then they become more pliable if you just force past that little pain barrier you know I really like lifting weights and then

119:06going to yoga is amazing if you do like squats and stuff like that because your legs get like super warmed up and it just feels like they're exhausted and you just kind of pull that tissue apart easier yes hashtag yes hashtag yeah all right Marilyn should we wrap this up yeah I'm glad we did it shall we do it again just do this yeah I would love to have you on have you thought about doing one of your own oh my gosh I'm gonna leave here today going I got a podcast I got a special I'm doing yoga twice a day you should do a podcast for sure you could do it I would like to let's talk about the second time you come back okay okay thanks good bye ladies and gentlemen good bye