Moment 45 - Why 80% Of Relationships Don't Work: Mo Gawdat

00:01Romantic love. Let's take a pivot there then. Oh. man. before we started recording we talked a little bit about um, the modern world of dating and how difficult it is, um, because of the way the world's changed and you know, the battles with romantic love. You, you know, I know you've been in, you were in a relationship for a long time yeah. 28 years. Yes. and then back on the dating market. Yes, not doing great'. not doing great you were you were with someone for 2028 years, yes. I'm like 28 years old, I know that's staggering, you know? Oh. she's an amazing woman and we're still best friends and she's still, she's still in my eyes the best woman that ever existed, and I think in her eyes still I'm the best man that ever existed and I think it's a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful connection. Uh, and it's doable and it's actually, if anyone needs to experience that once in their life.

00:54Do you know what question I'm going to ask you? No, um. if if you both think you're the best people that ever ever existed, huh. Love and relationships are two different things. Love is a feeling. Relationships are. Compatibility and fit and work, okay, and progress and projects and uh, you know, and partnerships and lots of and lots of things relationships. So in, in the book I'm working on, uh, I actually have a section about finding love and a section about keeping love. Right. Because because they're not the same thing and I, you know, niblle and I, uh, you know, she's the most amazing woman ever and you know, at least from what she gave me in life, I I will eternally be grateful everything that I am any comment that I said today was discussed one day with nibhel.

01:47Right? Her spirituality, her wisdom, her, you know, her love made me who I am, okay? And you can't kill that because you no longer want to sleep together. Do you understand this? You can't, you can't be that stupid to take all of those beautiful relationships and just say, okay, that's it, we're separated, we don't want to talk, right? The, the, the thing is, uh, I believe that love. Uh, it's short lived, okay? I believe that nibel and I had to fall in love six times. Uh, over, over the 28 years because we both changed every single time, so she's, she was my college sweetheart, we had that amazing, you know, puppy love and wonderful romantic relationship and so on and then we get married. And then she becomes a different person and I become a different person and you suddenly go like where' is my sweetheart.

02:38Okay? And you have a choice then either to walk out and say, I' look, I'm gonna to go look for my sweetheart or in our case, we go like, oh my god, she's gone that sweetheart, but my god, this one is so cute, I love that one right? And we fell in love again and again and again, six times. Until. Our path went literally opposite ways after rally, uh, where my my path went into okay, I'm going to write a book and tour the world and do more of what I do and her path went into okay, it's time for me to start focusing on my own life. I want to, you know, focus on my own business, focus on my own stability. I don't want to travel the world like a maniac and it became difficult. It became difficult to go back every two weeks when we haven't met, and feel guilty that I have not been there for her and she hasn't been there for me. And so one day we sat down, we spoke, we hugged.

03:31Literally hugged and then you know, said okay maybe it's time to try another experience and and then we went back to the same home and spent another week together and then I left. Uh, and it's beautiful, it's beautiful as it is I think, uh, you know, uh, we we still carry each other's credits cards and we still, you know, manage our investments together and there is total trust and total ah, you know, understanding and we still, you know, parent a our daughter together and it's wonderful, it's just that romance. Is that it is one part of the different melody of loves that you can feel for someone. 啊？