Kevin Smith

00:07beeyotch alive did we always we always say yes do these regularly yes every like two or three years we pledge that we will do these regularly and then a decade goes by each other but I hope that in your heart just like mine that it's not like I've had enough of that no no it's like so no I know how I see how busy you are you're one of the few people I follow on Instagram and I've said it on the previous show I just love to look at your life because I'm like he's doing everything he wants and nothing I'd ever wanted to do but he goes to hell and not in a judgy way of like he shouldn't be doing that but just like you know you look I've said if you live a man's life I live a boy's life as a free seven year old man so you do things like you got a float tank you hunt you got a hug you know how to handle a bow and arrow I'm gonna guy that writes about people that shoot bow and arrows

01:02to stop crimes they usually boxing gloves at the end of them and like that's good too but I I do I do i I guess the point is I know you're busy as and I know sometimes I get very busy as but I think we only don't do this because of ya a busy wheel yeah that's all it is my very kind of you say like that's yes yeah I'll buy that no for me it's for me for sure for me I'm like I could do that once a week because I'd walk away I always walk away with a real like I've never done cocaine but I imagine it's what it's like to do a line of cocaine off I don't know somebody beautiful or something like that I always walk away with wisdom and it's wisdom that even though it's on a podcast and recorded and there's a record of like well that's where you learned those things I still go out into the world present them as my own like I'm a smart well-read person out here

01:51there's dudes that have done a line of cocaine off someone and they're like what the is you ten earring from that to do it better where the cocaine doesn't quite fall into the ass or where where all my money go I was never my poison man never I still have never in this lifetime done knowingly done cocaine somebody might have slipped it to me a nun you and I both really yeah I never touched it but one time man that's you know what I'm saying like oh yeah and also just like as entertainers were rare as well does it ever make you feel less than when you read about those of us who try to be fun in this business and those who have been insanely successful and become icons they always have you know and then they did blow up for hours and blah blah blah do you ever feel like oh that's not part of my matrix hence I must not be one of the greats no I'm very lucky that I don't that you don't

02:44feel that I don't feel that right because I think I'd have a real problem with speed and amphetamines and coke I think I'd have a real problem that's what draws your eye like from a distance really enjoy it and I think it's the worst thing for someone like me who's a probably overconfident person to begin with right you know which is served me well but I only giggle not because it's it's not facetious it's if you walked into the facility that I just walked into and had the Grand Tour that you were given gentle listener and watch her at home I was saying to Joe before went like he's got this new plan new to me I don't know how long you been here since October he said yeah but it's it's a paradise it's a you know the term mancave this is like man Empire you walk in and it's just it's like walking into Joe's head it's everything he loves under one roof and I said it to them

03:36before like you did this with your mouth like you talked yourself into this very strange in that awesome yeah I mean I know you've got and you've got a zillion things that you do but like even in a world of like the MMA set that's still your mouth it's always your mouth that is taking you from where you started till now you walk into this building it's not like he had a family fortune and as it was willed to him your mouth put you in a building this nice painted the walls the color it is you walk in it's like a museum it's like you see pieces of him hence me all over the place that's all out of your mouth if anybody's watching or listening at home teetering on the verge of lack I wonder if I should do a pod yes send them a snapshot of that room or you can launch bow and arrows for forty-five yards they'll start talking well I think people if you're interesting at all you should do a

04:30podcast talk like it can be a it can be a way to make a living there's enough people like this I'm not a one of those famine thinkers I think the opposite I'm like you could do it anybody could do I've never liked men who might not be enough for everybody I never I'm always the guy who encourages it to like hey try it because oh my god it's fun for me and uh you know we've been where birds and as much as we've been around since the artform started like you've been doing podcasts since a minute after a podcast cool start first he was the guy walk predate Corolla yeah well yeah for sure but I'm sure so but you're in the first five years you were well what year did you start I started we just celebrated last year was our tenth anniversary smart guy so we're now a year 11 so count back from now is 2007 yes couple of years when did you begin think 2009 it was in tears and of the

05:28big bang when I when I woke jumped in it was Leo Laporte doing this week in tech and I think he still does that and the Happy Tree Friends and that was like the Apple podcast top five and then me and Scott started with SModcast and then later on we added a bunch of stuff but getting him within the first two years like we happened and then right on the heels of us Adam was on the radio and then the radio job went away and that it what year was that where Adam went to podcasting I got to be 2000 if we started SModcast 2007 I got it's either in we start February 2007 either he loses the radio gig in 2007 and moosa' podcast or it happens in 2008 but it was yes and he was the the the model for a lot of folks now like Ralph Garman the guy that I do Hollywood babble-on love Ralph Ralph's amazing he was let go by k-rock earlier this year later yeah light at the end of last year right before

06:26Christmas and so he too moved into a kind of online world it can sustain a because no mark Ralph's a very rough reporters his show I like him a lot he's a good very good dude but I was like talking to him okay right when you when you go to Kay rocky that's how our friendship began you sit there doing the show and then afterwards like I was a cigarette smoker in those days and we'd sit there out in the parking lot and smoke and slowly like I remember I came in once k-rock just announced like hey I've rented a theater on Santa Monica Boulevard and we're calling it SModcast when we're gonna the world's first live podcasting theater and we're gonna do podcasts there and stuff and so ralph was listening he's right there and then like months prior he had approached me he's like hey man would you ever want to do like the showbiz beat that's what I used to do on K Rock on Kevin and being

07:22like as a Saturday show and ask ya hear myself on the radio that'd be fantastic so we recorded a demo for the show gave it to his bosses and his bosses were like nobody wants to listen to people talk on the radio anymore and so it died they're just like how years ago things died when you couldn't get past a gatekeeper who was like we don't want your was this after the talk radio station in LA went under yes okay so they probably were like yes government on that didn't work and they were just you know k-rock was reading the tea leaves which was like people don't want to hear people Chad this won't play music repeating with satellite radio now we're competing with streaming music where it's like they don't have to wait 15 minutes to hear a song dan good shows though like you're mine waste Eckler that was a really good show now they were great there's a bunch

08:10of really good shows but the so he we had tried that it was called showbiz beat and then months later when I was in there going like yeah I'm opening this podcast theater afterwards in the parking lot grabbing the post-show smoke Ralph was just like hey would you ever want to try that radio show at that theater and I was like yeah you want to do this podcast and he was like yeah like yeah let's try it out and so I was driving home and I texted him a light I said we could call it Hollywood babble-on it was an old book called Hollywood babble-on that was about like gossipy stories about Hollywood people and stuff but we spell that of course differently and stuff and that was my that's what i brought to babylon other than that ralph built that entire thing and then my job became to sit next to him and react to the news which is that's why I love that podcast so much because as you can tell

09:04I love the sound of my own voice and I wind up talking talking talking on SModcast I would lead on Jay and Silent Bob get old which is really about Jason Mewes I wound up wound up talking a bunch but with Babylon I get to sit there while he's the main act and I'm the you know the second banana I mean it's it's nice to be able to top and bottom in the world of podcasting like you know it it's it gives you a place to go if I'm topping all the time right then I'm talking about my thoughts and what I believe in and these are the think experiences I've had and people are interested in that but then sometimes you just want to check out and talk about somebody else's know a podcast we do call fat man about and that's what we do I just sit around and go like oh my god you watch The Avengers and like that so you get to concentrate on that kind of stuff so yeah the Babylon thing grew insanely

09:54organically we started at that little theater sat 48 people and since he was on the radio every morning he could just sell it out he'd be like hey go to Kevin Smith's website he'd get tickets for Babylon to be sold though is that your place on what was it and it was somewhere in West Hollywood right that little theater it was on yeah it was on a Santa Monica Boulevard in an area where they put up a few black box theaters this this section is called the complex and we had one theater in the complex and repainted it and hung up like all the artwork like you got our work based on the podcast out in the hallway same thing we were like essentially built a shrine to the scott mosier my co-host of SModcast which i'm sure on some level creeped him the out first time he walked in was just like he wants to wear my skin you know and so the idea was we're gonna do nothing but SModcast here but since

10:46Scott didn't suddenly go into like yeah let's do five broadcasts a week you know it stayed pretty much the same we had a theater with nothing going on and stuff so I started trying other Babylon became one of them Jane saw Bob get old also came out of that experiences you still have that theater no we let go of that me and Maddy Cohen who's a co-host on this very fun podcast he does of the Macaulay Culkin have you spoken to Macaulay Culkin yet no I'm just putting a beat up bug in your ear yeah oh dude he gives good talk good oral I mean that sounds filthier than I meant it but you know what I'm saying like as a guest fascinate real and funny and bitterly anyway Matt and and Macaulay to a podcast called bunny ears and so Matt Cohen was the guy that I had opened Smaug castle with like I was guy going I wish I had a black box theater and Matt went out and found it and stuff so we

11:39kept it open for like one year and then let it go because what had happened was like the babble show sold so well so quickly all the time that it became clear like we could move this to a bigger theater this is a thing he was on the radio all the time so it was easy to move seats so we went up to the Lovitz remember that Jon Lovitz yeah comedy club Ralph had went to the improv and Lovitz and Lovitz were like you could have 95 or a hundred percent of the doors something ridiculous and and that was the only reason we went up there were there for a while things fell out with Lovitz and stuff and then we moved to the Improv instead so we've been there ever since and now we do it on the road you know quite a bit in stuff that Lovitz place is always weird right because the people were way above your head it was one level here and one level way up meant to be it was BB King's

12:25originally back in the day so it's like a jazz club where you wouldn't mind looking down at the axe but for a podcast and with a guy with a bald spot it was nerve-racking because like how am I supposed to be funny knowing they're staring down at me judging my bald spot yeah did some comedy shows there and it was great but it was it was odd because yeah it was a weird shape laugh and straighten up let me just jump off topic real quick what were you was at the times you were featured in for being like the the source for news was it's this thing that these guys are they're there but they're calling something the intellectual dark web yes and they've connected a bunch of people together that are interesting people that don't follow standard or name bad marketing cuz when I've read it I was like I don't think of him as dark web at all either get dark West my friend I heard of Weinstein she

13:20loves that sneaky yeah how can dagger type stuff he came up with the name of it he just gets a kick out of it I think but the essentially the piece was about how you are doing media that quote unquote real media is not doing like you it's probably more about the rise of like certain intellectuals that are very controversial like Jordan Peterson and Sam Harris and all the debate about them I'm just someone who they get a chance to talk to for three hours right you know in a pretty well well will subscribe to base is a lot of people that are gonna listen to these conversations and they get it they go well why haven't I heard people talk like this before why haven't I heard about the idea of determinism versus free will why you know why haven't I heard like last time we were here we talked about with the universal monetary everybody starts with a salary

14:11yeah Universal basis basic income I was like super hesitant about that was like that's nonsense and then the more I thought about it whenever I just like immediately dismiss something I always have to go okay why why am i immediately dismissing it like what is what's what why did I go ah and I thought I was people they're just lazy they just want money and I want alright is that true let me see what the really going on cuz there's a weird reaction that I had like that a reaction against lazy people the unexamined life is not worth living yeah so it's easy enough for you to be like now care but most people end it there and their story goes in a different direction you're like wait why don't I didn't have a clear defense of my actions right the way I thought not you know I didn't do anything but the way I considered this subject I didn't have I didn't have a

14:59real bay I was very neat jerk so I said okay let me really examine this and what the real issue I think is going to be automation and artificial intelligence I think it's going to remove a tremendous amount of jobs I think automation in terms of car driving and different these different functions once they get better at robotics and being able to do things and then people will be less and less necessary and there they have a real problem they think with cars with a number of males that drive cars it's in the millions for a job and that they would all like almost instantly be out of work if they ever get these automated cars down you know where I mean one since where it's a culture that believes in technology one's inclined to believe oh they will get these self-driving vehicles down to a science I think they'll get it down there got they're pretty damn close close hit life

15:59as soon as somebody gets hit right they get set back a couple hundred miles there's been a few fatalities right several but how many have been fatalities because of humans and I always say that's true but how many more humans are driving then robots I mean that is off the charts and that numbers got to be bananas like how many actual robots are out there drop what do you got ten and two of them kill people right settle down but still if you if you look at the numbers though yeah billions of people driving cars only ten robots and they've already taken two lives so that's pretty those are pretty this bad odds right yes bro believe that I've been talking about this a lot there's a robot that the DARPA created and it's called the e2 robot ei TR hmm and it can fuel itself with the biological material any or is it programmed for certain biological material I don't know

17:01man but dead bodies no doubt but does that mean that a it's aware of when it's powering down I don't know here's remember either the military row at the supposed to eat humans this is the thing I think the idea of biological material is maybe it could sustain itself on plants maybe could sustain that's where I go it's possible it's possible you I'm right to here it's also possible if you can use this thing in a battlefield that you would want to have it eat people because you can have dead people everywhere have this robot monster that you're sending to kill people also eat them so not only is it killing people but it's also he's singing in the background as well taking dead bodies away I was a diabolical scientist and I was gonna come up with the evilest meanest to send it to the enemy to go get him it'll be a robot that eats people why because it's gonna kill people right

17:54it's gonna be sent there killed your loved one watch in horror as I consume its flesh and power me further to kill you next and wouldn't we I mean I default into a pretty bad and kind of stereotypical and one might even say racist robot voice what race would that be monotone I feel no love nor pain and they can make it look scary to man they can make it look like venom like from the Star Wars books or spider-man be scary people be like holy Venom's here this Rockstar denim fan it needs to look like that face this giant face with a just because you're whining yeah I mean that if that was in the eater robot and just inside all would that scare you would that scare you more or would it scare you more if there were like the eater robot its head is full of hypodermic needles each one more toxic than the last and infect a ball at a moment's touch whoa those are terrible - you know what do

19:03you want to get eaten by the shark question have you spoken about Roseanne yet um not publicly never you have private conversations enough to form some sort of thought process on I talked to Ben Shapiro about it today on his show but it won't be out until Sunday what is do you have you ever encountered her in the world I know Roseanne I talked to her on the phone and I believed every word she said she told me that she was taking ambien and that she was drunk on Memorial Day weekend and she tweeted a bunch of stupid and she's out of her mind and she said you know in her words I need to adjust my meds you know I'm not thinking straight and she was talking about how exhausted she got doing that television show and she got bronchitis and she was overworked I think she's stressing the out she also told me that she did not know that that lady was even black

19:56she thought that lady was Jewish and she said to me like do you really think that I would make a joke about a black lady and say planet eggs I wouldn't do that she's like I thought she was Jewish look at her so I did look at her like pull up her Wikipedia page this lady she I mean she most searched up so we could see it I mean she most certainly could be African American for sure but she also most certainly could be like Hawaiian or Native American or point been Italian maybe she thought Jewish those were roseanne said Jewish this is what she said I do not know I don't think she's lying to me um I don't think she's racist have you ever seen ambien no I've never taken an opinion but a good friend of mine about it today okay and he got up in the middle of the night cooked himself a meal ate it went to sleep got up in the morning and had no recollection of it he had to be told

20:56that he did he was trying to figure out who put the plates in the sink who ate this food where this food come from couldn't figure it out he got up in the middle of the night doesn't remember a thing right and cooked himself a meal sat down ate it went back to bed has zero recollection of it I knew this guy they out of it during that meal at any point did he get racist or anything like he's literally it's one thing it's a spooky story to be like I took ambien and I made myself some food it's an even spookier story to be like I took ambien and if I can killed somebody but it's a it's a stretch to be like it is I took ambien and I said something I would never say in a million years it heartens me to hear you say that she said that she wasn't aware of the ladies race yeah because it you know I don't know all I know her from is Roseanne oh I know her from his decades of watching

21:49her in media their TV show I followed it for the TV show it didn't seem like the Roseann that I've watched for 30 40 years well see that's the thing I'm not close to her in a daily basis you know I have tremendous respect for her as a comedian I think she's she was a real pioneer in a lot of ways she was this brash like really confident lady who on stupid men and she did it in this like really bold way and stand-up that was very unique for the time I think if people go back and you watch like some of her early stand-up when she was coming out of Denver the domestic goddess stuff she was a beast man she was a beast she was crushing she was crushing you know and then she got that sitcom and it's absolutely one of the greatest sitcoms of all time yeah but now she's 65 years old and it's hard for her and that schedule she was telling me was absolutely brutal and that they were

22:48killing her with all the work I don't know her very well but I do know there was another time where she said something about Susan Rice who is another african-american woman and she she said something about her and compared with her walls yeah something like swinging eighth balls you know so that's two for two it's - yeah well this one for sure right because this one there's no excuse for this is one from the past that there was no you know like oh my god I was on ambien I tweeted this no one said anything Susan Rice is a man with big swinging eight balls and that was meant to be a 2013 that's five years ago oh and you can I mean I don't know if it's still available but if you go through a timeline and see a bunch of things yeah are not like a comedian being funny but right you know beliefs right that one is doubt it's a rough one that to me is a way rougher one

23:50it's way rougher like that one is like that's what you said I mean it is what it is you know if you said that the other lady looked like plan of the Apes just because of her haircut because she looks like the the lead woman in Zira yeah she looked like Zira there was like a photo of her back or it was just like the way her haircut was and her outfit was right I think some people you would but if you didn't know that she was black it's a totally different thing do we know that for sure you know only she knows for sure you know it's are you surprised at how quickly it all ended yeah well that was the part of the story that again I've no skin in the game other than I watched the old Roseanne and I was enjoying the new Roseanne as well but I came home from like I was Vegas the other day and I flew home yesterday morning and then I had a meeting over at the studios like

24:44at noon so I took a nap when I got home like and also my wife wakes me up and she goes you got a meeting don't forget like it's 11:30 oh and Roseanne has been canceled and I'm like that's that's impossible like I was scruggy but I'm like that's impossible it's like 20 million people are watching that show and she said she tweeted something racist so I'd pick up my phone and I look at it and stuff and by the time like this had happened in the span of like the hour I took a nap they the the network acted so incredibly fast there was no prevarication equivocation no dude they had that act sharpened and ready it was nuts like all of a sudden they were just like we're done we don't know or disavow and and and it was I think it was so surprising because it's been a while since somebody did something even superficially moral yeah you know what I'm saying like I've read a lot of

25:43articles online where people are like hey man ABC didn't own the show so of course they had they didn't have as much skin of game so it was easy for them to cancel it would they have cancelled it as fast if they owned the show and dot dot dot you can you can make a bunch of kind of caveats but at the end of the day something bad happened and then the network reacted a major come the network a major company major corporation reacted and act is the right way to handle it to just immediately cancel the show I personally would have maybe fired her and kept everybody else done like the you know Valerie died off yeah we just used computer animation oh you could replace it with a Pixar character but I think you can sell it equally compelling stories like with honestly like the nine episodes that they've done this season she really hasn't been the driving factor of the

26:32stories it's been more about Darlene that's why I felt bad for when this whole thing imploded cuz I'm like she's she put this show together Sara Gilbert mm and she was like crushing on she was like really good showing off like what a great actress she has been our but he's out of job feel bad for John Goodman I've worked with him before and he was wonderful on the show liking can sustain the show without her I think can she be forgiven sure I mean kinda wouldn't Mel Gibson get forgiven isn't he working again mo Mel Gibson it was also a case of him being intoxicated right he was yelling some anti-semitic stuff at a cop I mean never mind that let me also punch his ex-wife like there's no violence action than him just going to saying hey sugar tits like there was some the his wife had recorded him or this woman who recorded him yelling at her on the phone

27:20so we nobody knows if he truly hit I don't know it my bad I thought that was I don't know I don't know I don't know the even the specifics of any accusation and also I also didn't follow that closely and not because I'm like man that's Martin Riggs and I don't want to hear better but I just didn't follow it because I'm like um yeah man it's can she be forgive this very forgiving I I don't know I mean look she should have tweeted what you said instead of oh my god I took ambien like you know that turned into an opportunity for a major pharmaceutical company to like put out one of the best singers Twitter's ever seen I mean like this is a company they're not normally used to like hey well should we say to be funny like they have to put out very staid information and for once they were like how about this guys we say racism isn't a you know a byproduct it was really well said it

28:13was it was well worded we sit there and go like why don't I tweet that whoever wrote it was pretty ever wrote it rather it's pretty slick the thing ambient does do though it definitely makes you act bizarre you did there's there's some sleep I mean if you just there's uh there's just no created eat edibles that would help right there's websites dedicated to people that have had crazy experiences stuff I've seen a few of it's not the one that you told me about your friend cooking dinner is about the fourth time somebody's communicated that story now because they've been listening to your show and you may have so said said that story probably have people drive cars on they go places that realize I don't know what they're doing to get places like a serpent in the rainbow man you become zombified and you're like I'm not yeah you're Bill Pullman in a casket

29:02well there was a there was a guy that got pulled over a few years back who was famous and I forget what he said something about like I got to get to the dance or something like that and the cops were like what the are you talking about and they realized like he was kind of out of it and then after it was over it was revealed that he had been on ambien and then he had gotten in his car and really had no idea even know he was pulling him over like literally the guy was in a dream it reminds me of when I was a kid this was not not drug related but I was a kid I was sleep I fell asleep on the couch watching TV and before my like my brother had lost his wallet at a school dance and my mother was like I'll Drive you up there and try to find it and my father would get up for work at about nine o'clock at night and then had to work at ten o'clock and I think he

29:45started work at 11 o'clock at night he worked at the post office cancel and stamps so he got my mom tells me that and I fall asleep on the couch watching like dynasty or somesuch it was the 80s and then my dad wakes me up cuz he woke up and nobody was home like my mom wasn't around nobody was there and he's like where is everybody and he startled me awake so I was like what Oh Donald Donald they had to go to the school because Donald lost his thriller and my father goes what and I was like Donald lost his thriller and he was like I don't know what you're saying and I was like doc mom said that Donald loss is thriller and I kept replacing the word wallet with thriller and my father looked at me and literally set me aside the next day to be like are you using drugs and I was like no i jus woke me up I guess I was in some sort of maybe I was dreaming about

30:36thriller it was 1982 you know like hey your brain just never clicked back over into waking life I stayed in this weird zombie land where were wallet meant thriller you know what got pulled over and I'm trying to remember what he told the cops where they realized that something was going on I think it was it was in one of the articles that I tweeted the store was in one of the articles that I tweeted what happens in that instance but here's I can arrest you for being the ambien driver it's this it's a rare reaction because a lot of people take that right you know like I don't hear this story all the time no there's not a wet sailing just a couple of those pills a day right there's no wet page devoted to stories of people who took ambien and got fired for being racist he's right well even better there's no stories of people that took ambien and you know became addicted to it and

31:30became some sort of a where is there is that addictive is am being addicted yeah profits they probably yeah I think did like getting addicted to falling asleep and you're needing it to fall asleep probably yeah yeah I guess if you're somebody was like I can't go sleep without that well yeah wonder if it's addictive like maybe like a heroin is addictive no right or like a speed you know like people get like physically addicted to things where it kind of changes the receptors yeah yeah yeah I don't know if it dulls the senses to the point where like when you I mean that's what the way I heroin was always explained to me was when you're on heroin the senses are get dulled the nerve receptors like just don't take in as much but when you're not on heroin that pain of withdrawal part of it is the receptors coming back to life all at once and it was likened yeah Jason Jason

32:23Mewes long time ago had problems with this so it was one of the rehab doctors communicated it thusly he said you know how when you sit on your hand and falls asleep I'm like yeah it totally he's like imagine that was your whole body and times it by a million that's what he's going through Wow no I was like oh and then I you know up until then I was always like just stop doing heroin just stop it I mean while I was eating a lot of sugar just stop doing your hey my drug but once that dude explained it that way I was like oh that would be that would be painful no wonder the kid doesn't want to get off heroin cuz he's like I know the path to not being on heroin is full of pins and needles but you never die from it that's the good thing about that like you don't die from her withdrawal we know from Amy Winehouse in other cases that you can die from alcohol withdrawal like you can you can

33:15get off like when you're in jail and you're kicking heroin you know the cops just feel like you know here just keep throwing up and pissing but if you're kicking booze they have to give you booze cuz your heart could stop this article II pulled up an estimated four hundred and forty six thousand people in the United States were current miss users of ambien now what is the misuse in the dangerous dependency on two ambien can develop after just two weeks of use don't attempt to quit without proper knowledge and before putting a medical treatment plan into place Wow two weeks is all it takes two weeks and you're God's Vil son may be driving around having conversations guys it uses ambien gets a good night's sleep and you know the job in the morning you you can't where you're like you just lose a word like you're like Donald lost his thriller and that's the lowest mildest form

34:10yeah just every now and then you skip a word which I do now I call that hitting a pothole he's you know Roseanne is she's an older lady she's in her 60s and you know she's had some mental problems and and she's drinking and she's taking that stuff to go to sleep and she's not taking it for just two weeks she's taking it a lot you know and she said she needs it to go to sleep and I think there's a lot of people that feel like they need something to help them go to sleep that's fun but then from don't we to get worse yeah I don't that at the end of the day it's not like she took ambien and that makes her bad like no it's that she tweeted what she did and it's like if you think for a second that if in using this drug which I need to go to sleep because I'm late 60s woman and I need my rest or whatever at war you just deserve sleep like you know I've mercifully I've never

35:01suffered from a lack of sleep but I know that people who have and it's mind-bending itself but if you know you have to do that and you know there's the slightest chance that you could become somebody else or say things that are not in your character give up your social media man like I don't think she probably does she was obviously going to do that I think she had tweeted ridiculous in the past before and it flew under the radar and nobody cared right but it's a racism thing you know and what's it what's fascinating to me about it and what's positive to me about it is that we have our culture has like a zero tolerance for racism now yeah it's things have tightened up so much like it's entirely possible that within a few decades like racism can be almost completely eradicated I think it's possible with the spread of the internet or going into like 50 years from now 60 years from now

35:56racism could be seen as the ridiculous idea that it is racism can be seen the way someone like you duck looks at it or someone like chained you'll be like a Roddenberry world it'll be like Star Trek well people like maybe back in the day there was something like that but we haven't experienced that in centuries yeah the the distrust in and hate for specific gigantic general groups of people like Asians or blacks or whatever and the disparaging ideas that you have about a race just because they're you know just because a person's from a specific part of the world that it's got to be a thing in the past we got to get past that because I would love to believe that but unfortunately we live in a bubble out here where one is in place that actually does kind of work in you know at dumb that's unbelieving it for people out there about to like judge the fact that he's

36:48cell in California California blows the one I'm not saying like yay California the rest of the world the the rest of the country but I will say this everyone here lives fairly multiculturally and right there doesn't seem to be I mean granted within this area of the state perhaps it's different elsewhere but it it feels I'm not gonna say utopian but it feels like people get along out here even if it's a plastic get along it's still the you know I'm pretty good yeah so much so that I think got a lot of people in the state where that's you know we're mystified when the election went the way it did because they were like what no because that's not the way life works well it's not the way life works in most of California but the way it went for a bunch of reasons you know a lot of the middle of the country didn't feel represented right they have a significant say when it comes to you

37:40know the what's it called electoral college vote that's that's where we get squirrelly when you look at like the points that different states are worth like they're worried like it's very weird that we still have that it's not a person one person one vote not even one person one vote like these weird BOTS why isn't it one person one vote like Issa's explained to me in high school why the Electoral College was necessary and even then I was like yeah but well one person one vote kind of makes more sense no both you and I know jack about politics which makes this this journey of where people bleeding from their ears going idiots but the checks and balances that are in play like the representative government is what keeps someone from just like running through the whole thing and we would get a little bit of a test to it by like Trump I met a buddy of yours on plane what guy

38:34oh yeah my favorite nice guy but here's what I want to pass on it's like we were on a 45-minute flight maybe right super smooth like and not in the way of like hello I'm Lando Calrissian but this dude had a thing like like rap parts and not like he wasn't like having sex with somebody but he had a rep Arte going with the flight attendant that was so effortless and you know I sitting next to him we chitchat before the flight and I had mentioned something about Joe Rogan he goes I know Joe Rogan and he talked about like huntin Bulova but in any event for the rest of the flight I had like a front-row seat for him talking to the flight attendant and it was like it was a real clinic in like oh like he's got that thing that like i-i've had to make up for not having my whole life but he liked people well not even just talk to people like like the way like you watched like a

39:38movie star say two things and the people like yeah oh you you're like he just had this person in the palm of his hand and I'm being very careful because I don't want it to seem like like he was making the moves on he wasn't but he easily could have been with that person by the flight's end and what was just as I sat there watching it going like I've had to make up for a deficit my whole life be like here here's some funny things and hey I saw Star Wars and talked about all this other to try to trick somebody into me this guy just like sits down on the plane and was like what's up and she was like hello you and instantly started going talking to him and I was trying to discern throughout the whole flight did they know each other as he see her on this flight often or something no dry he hit that flight as dry as anybody else and literally could have walked away

40:28hand-in-hand with somebody who's very impressive he's got bowhunter confidence is that what it is yeah that's what it is it's gotta be is the same thing you exist not even a regular bow hunter he's like a super-advanced bow hunter where a compound bow was too easy for him he said that while he switched over to a recurve bow yes was he asked to get closer to animals and he practiced more he was explained my friend Aaron Schneider he's a little bit crazy without even he was explaining and it didn't sound braggy we had a really good podcast cast was it go Cafaro ki f aru it's a it's a company that he works for that makes really high-end hunting and hiking backpacks and military backpacks and he does a podcast through them and he said he's very good at it he's very good at talking he says he's a funny dude I can attest to it i sat there and watched him be he's got no Hunter

41:18confidence is that what it is I think so yeah it's not a swagger it's whole life like there was nothing about him that instantly I means don't look very much like but there was nothing about his thing that was like him a guy's guy it wasn't even that like honestly that flight attendant probably could have been a guy in a Barren was just as interested in short row a short range bow hunting he would have landed that guy as well like he was very I don't know it's good like when he said I do a podcast too it made sense I was like I bet you do yeah smart dude and so that's a weird way to live you know it spends like 200 nights a year in the forest sleeping in like either a bivy sack or a tent or under entire like just like Robin Hood he's out there all the time and it's like there's not a whole lot of people that are doing that more woods than man he's another guy who's ex-military - it's a

42:10lot of these ex-military guys that get really into bow hunting because they find it very difficult and a physical challenge and it's nerve-racking and it's hard to keep your cool under pressure and for a lot of guys who they go from the military and maybe do a few tours overseas and come back to the mainland and just have a real issue with being just not stimulated enough and you feel detached and you don't feel like you're involved in anything that's got like a high adrenaline threshold and for a lot of these guys bow hunting is very therapeutic the so is that an issue when people come back the issue I always hear about of course is PTSD yeah but that sounds like the opposite like somebody who's like I was there for the rush and now the real world offers like that's that move not even necessarily that they were yeah that hurt like like hurt Rock Locker not even necessarily that they're

43:03there for the rush but that once they experienced that rush you know gotta bring spoke up too much but Sebastian Junger wrote a book called tribe and it's all about this and it's about these guys coming back from war and trying to just sort of assimilate and having a really difficult time and how so many of them talk about when they were over there they had a purpose and that the life was intensified and cranked up to ten and the highs were the highest and the lows were the lowest and they come back here and everything's just too flat it's just really hard for them to adjust and they feel disconnected from their community and they lay long to go back and that's why a lot of them keeps signing up and going back and they they feel that that life at the tip of the spear is actually more more satisfying more rewarding it just feels right for them in the regular world just for

43:53whatever reason they've just tasted it or they've they've adjusted to it but they're they have a very very difficult time some of them do was the closest you've ever felt to that like have you ever gotten close to the feeling of like what have you done in life that has given you the adrenaline high what's your highest adrenaline rush I'm asking the probably the most nervous I ever got was when I was fighting when I was doing martial arts and because there was a nervous for a good reason it's like you might get up it's really possible you might get kicked in the head but the second most nervous was before I did stand-up for the first time I was my pants man I was really nervous why I don't know I don't you livingroom funny like were you high school funny I was locker room funny I was uh I would make my friends laugh in the locker room does that's I got talked to knew him by a good buddy

44:46of mine my friend Steve Graham I'm still good friends with he talked me into it him and my friend Ed shorter they just they talked me into it I would make them laugh right you know and but I thought that they were laughing cuz doing my friends and I thought like everybody else gonna think I'm an oh you thought like they're just being polite well it's all that too and like my sense of humor was up because it was all fighters you know and so everybody was like they were hard men so you had to have like a certain sting to your gallows humor well everybody was on their way to go kick people in the head it was just a weird life you know it was very very strange way to be 15 right and you know have 15 16 17 that was like my whole life that wasn't the adrenaline rush the adrenaline rush of doing stand-up was unexpected that's why I freaked me out because I didn't think I

45:34was gonna be so nervous no my pants I just didn't have a background in performing and right before I was going up there I was thinking all the times that I've I fought and I should be comfortable doing this right but I was my pants I was so terrible oh so I was so fine it was in Boston a place called stitches are they still there August 27 1988 no you know the day yeah you made me cry that's awesome why do you remember that I don't know I always remembered it say it again August 27 1988 because naturally everything I hear I have to put through a filter of how does this affect me so I'm sitting there going what was I doing August 27 1988 I just graduated high school in June and where was I working I was we're gonna buy right liquors and like that and it would be two years before I would go on to the state rascals in Eatontown between the mothball and CV Square MO and try it

46:31myself and I didn't just not don't West Orange no that's that's up north ours is down and like by Asbury Park this place was like South yeah I did that one too as a pro yeah as a pro I went in an open mic night just because and I didn't tell my friends because I was terrified my friends would be like why do you think you're funny and stuff I was not the funniest of my friends so I wasn't sitting there going like yeah man come support me I kind of did it on the sly and stuff and and I did five minutes and I made like one joke that really worked a bit about sucking my own dick and that wound up in clerks like it was tested in front of the audience so I was like well I know that might get a laugh and stuff so what was how long was your first beating was it open mic he's open mic yeah I think they gave you five minutes and I don't think I even had five minutes I think I had four what did

47:22you do observe no I just I just told some terrible jokes terrible just literally setup punchline yeah yeah yeah yeah they were awful the stuff that I'd written you know just write them down yeah yeah yeah I even had a piece of paper that I brought with me on stage because those terrified I was gonna forget a lot of guys bro you knew you were a pro when you can put that paper away I'm about to cry that's so sweet man a young you how old are you at this point I was 21 so why'd you wait so long after I used to be 21 to get up booze to go in a nightclub you know that's what I thought apparently I was wrong though and you they would allow you as a performer to go in there younger but I didn't know this at the time I thought you had to be 21 so I waited until I was 21 which was August 11th and then I went out August 27th what was the what got the biggest laugh who knows you know the day

48:14and you can't remember the material was terrible I try to think past as quickly as possible the and one joke that I remember all right this is my impression of a good-looking girl getting pulled over by a cop like do you realize how fast we're going no do you like my tits yes I do here's a warning like it was that bad that's how bad that's how bad the comedy I was slinging I wouldn't wanna take you home and put you on a shelf like that's an adorable joke ladies and gentlemen wait a second so how many years before Newsradio is that um 88 was six years so technically if one follows the journey backwards that terrible joke lands you eventually on Newsradio yeah in a way and get you this funnel welding yeah in a way let's not mock that joke anymore those good strong well that's what the weird wings of a butterfly that becomes a hurricane right like we need to go back

49:05in your life and think about weird little left's you took or rights you took when I a bunch of those when I had three months ago out of heart attack when I was on the table because the good doctor was just like you you have a hundred percent occlusion in your led and I was like I don't know what that means he said your LEDs your it's the main artery that goes across the front heart he's going it's a hundred percent of closure means 100% blocked you've got the cholesterol is blocked there's no way for blood to get through and that's what's creating your massive heart attack so he's like we're gonna we're gonna take care of it right now he goes but your comic book guy right I said yeah and he goes you'll like this that artery that's called the Widowmaker and I said why and he goes because in 80% of cases of a hundred percent occlusion the patient always dies he's

49:53gone but you're gonna be in the twenty four seconds I'm really good at my job and if I can disappeared into my crotch went up my groin to my femoral artery and went up into my heart and put a stent in that in that led and the moment he opened up he goes I'm gonna open it up now and he showed me what it was tiny little mesh wire thing he was I'm I open it boom suddenly it was like like cuz that artery had been like a hose if you bend it and it's full of water and was pushing down on the heart which was in turn pushing down on my lungs I had no idea was I'm an architect I just felt like I couldn't catch my breath I thought I was too hot and it was in between shows between two gigs and you were filming we shot them both while we were gonna shoot them both my only shot the one because I thought attack and we didn't do the second one but it was for for the folks at comedy

50:36dynamics and it became a Showtime special so we were shootin two shows that neither is meant to be like an hour in an hour but you know once you get up there I feel like I'm rolling I'm rolling so I did two hours and after the first show they were like we don't even need to the second show we can cut an a twirl it got in an hour out of it so you gave us plenty and stuff I said I got two different hours so I want to do the second show and plus everyone was there they were lined up and so I took a big swig of milk I was a dairy drinker heavy dairy drinker in those days I've since become Leegin I used to be happy now I'm vegan but I took a big swig of milk then I went to the green room and I chitchat a real quick with Jordan who runs our company as Jason's wife chase muses wife and Emily was there she doesn't know like hair and makeup so we were chitchat and then I was like man I feel

51:23weird I feel sick I feel like I'm gonna throw up can you guys get out of here cuz when I get sick I just want to go off like an animal and die alone like I don't want to be ministered to him like off and so they were like yeah totally and I laid down the floor and I felt like nosh nauseated and I never feel sick like that and wound up throwing up some bile nothing chunky but just like fluid and so I was like well I'm and maybe I'll feel better now stood up and I looked in the mirror and I was just swamped man like no ID now as a heavy dude you sweat when you breathe this was like I'd look like I just come out of the pool and I felt really cold I couldn't get warm and Emily popped her head and she's like are you okay I was like no man can you turn on in like a hairdryer and just like drop me off I feel freezing cold and she touched back of my neck while

52:07she's driving me she's like you never feel like this is a scary you should do something I said hey yeah I said I would still want to do that second show I was like so I'm gonna find the couch just find a couch for me to lay down if I get like a half hour nap I'm sure I'll be fine and I couldn't get comfortable on the couch couldn't sleep and that's when I started not being able to catch my breath so you know I'm no doctor but like you think you know I know my body and I know what this is I smoked too much weed and I've got too much mucus in my chest that's all this is so I said I better sit up and put my arms up like this because that will help me breathe and Jordan comes around the corner eventually and she sees me she's like are you right and I was like you know I'm having a hard time catching my breath I can breathe I just can't get all the way to the top and stuff of the

52:52breath can't take a full breath I was like maybe I maybe we shouldn't do that second show after all and she goes we already cancelled it I was like why the did you cancel the second show and she was like cuz I've never seen you sick like this she's gone you know this this is weird something's going on so yeah maybe I should see a doctor and she goes Sunday night all doctors are closed so we called an ambulance I was like why the did you call an ambulance oh my god this is don't his embarrassing she's like they're already here and six firemen came into the room big brawny dudes when he called paramedics Fire Department comes as well so they're looking at me cuz I'm sitting in the chair of my arms up and like there are some of them were young four of them were young and it looked they looked at me like why is sound Bob celebrating a touchdown you know and she's like all sudden the medics

53:36came in and they there was a guy and a girl and the guy puts a cuff on me because how you doing man I said good I can't really catch my breath and he goes well we're gonna look at you right now put the cuff on you he ever had this done I said oh yeah I know how to do this and then the girl had a like look like a fishing tackle box that a bunch of leads wires coming out of it yeah she put that down heart monitor thing you know they get your blood pressure all that on one arm then the other thing they put on your chest to monitor what's going on side so she's like I could put these wires on you okay and I'm sitting in the chair and this is 40 pounds ago and sitting is no good angle for a fat guy to begin with and like that so she just Yanks my hockey shirt and my undershirt up and every titty I have falls out of my shirt in front of these people and there's a room full

54:25of people and I'm like ollie I yanked my down she's like what are you doing I was like man that's my best friend's wife over there she never seen my tits my wife's never seen my tits like a game you don't yank my shirt up like that she cuz I get these wires on yes well I'll hold the shirt out you reach up under and put them on my cheek I shake and I was like just used my nipples as God posts like it was you know I've spent all of my life trying to hide my fat and when your life is in danger I've never been in that situation but when your life is in danger nobody gives a about your ego and like their vanity so they looked at their info and they realized I guess what was going on they were like we're gonna take you to the hospital just to be safe and I was like going through that that's embarrassing and and they were like now we're so close man it'll be fun you ever been to

55:11the hospital I was like no not really they like is also it's fun he goes you're gonna have a good time I was a girl right and you know I'm a podcaster so I'm like look at the end of the day no time is wasted everything's a story so if this turns into the opening five minutes of Hollywood babble-on where I'm like they took me to the hospital and turned out I was just too high like it's life's great when you're a podcaster because there's no such thing as bad news anymore like it hit it can hit you on the level of like oh that's unfortunate but right away you repurpose it into like alright well I got something to talk about and this latest setback is just the longest is just a momentary chapter in a long story or telling so I was happy to go to the hospital not because I was like I think I'm dying but because I was like alright I have a story to tell after this next week

55:57it'll be fun I got to the hospital like dr. laden Jaime's the guys now my cardiologist they pulled me in to the ER and he's like hi how are you I'm dr. Leighton I'm and said hey me an hour he goes what's wrong what's going on I said I can't catch my breath and he goes well that's cuz you're having a massive heart attack was the first time anyone had said anything like that how did he know for sure that's what he does I think what he knew for sure was when they put the leads on me and the blood pressure right they looked at each other at one point but assumed like there's no numbers that'll show up that'll indicate that something just happened and they made this wonderful call I got to find these kids give him a hug one day on the call she because we were shooting that night on the call sheet it was a different Hospital but they took me to Glendale Adventist because they knew

56:44that I was in having a cardiac episode and that's shy of one Hospital in New York Glendale Adventist is one of the best cardiology wings in the United States of America so I happen to be in the right place at the right time we were supposed to shoot my comedy special at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville it wound up being shot instead at the Alex and in Glendale and stuff and if I hadn't been doing the show there who knows man I'm right I've gone to a hospital but I probably might have died because homeboy told me when he went up the heart when I was in the operating room and he told me like they call that the Widowmaker and 80% 80/20 i sat there gone like these are the weirdest I've ever had in my life I figured like love you leave the house it's 50/50 you're gonna drop dead rightly get by car struck by lightning trip over dog and then the dog bites your jugular and you bleed out you're

57:37like but I always loved dogs and you die ironically oh but you know just stringing along but the 80/20 man 20% chance of life was up up thought first time I'd ever had that kind of thought and in my head I had to cognitively reframe and go you don't know you might have been close to death so many times in your life there might have been like a psycho behind you with a knife and then all suddenly got a cell phone call and forgot about you or something like that so suddenly I repurposed it the whole time I was laying on the table I get repurposing every thought repurposing cognitively reframing I was sitting because I couldn't like at one point they were like your wife's on the phone do you want to say that you want to talk to her after they told me that I was having a heart attack and that they had to get up me fast and stuff so they're holding up a phone and I see it and as

58:22the first time crystallized where I was like oh these these people think I'm gonna die like I didn't I was in no pain whatsoever I couldn't catch my breath they kept asking me like zero to ten how do you feel what's your pain level I was like negative three they're like you're doing this wrong I didn't feel pain it wasn't like I grew up in the 70s watching Sanford and Son so my idea of a heart attack that's big and she felt none of the symptoms no numbness in the arm anything like that Oh sweatin I threw up pile a little bit of bile I was cold and and what was the last one it was just you would never associate with a heart attack like you associated with like I just I feel under the weather but apparently these are symptoms of heart attacks as well I like to share it because some cats never heard that before and I've seen a lot of people on social media sense who are like you saved my

59:12life here's why because I talked about the symptoms of so while I'm laying there and they go up your groin they go up your femoral artery to your heart and stuff he went up and he saw that it was all blocked he I said later on I was just like man like I'd like dropped 80 pounds three years ago I've been like walking up a hill mile and a half every day and stuff he goes yeah but the kind of blockage you had he goes that didn't start recently he's gone that started in now is like man hostess Twinkies and then I remembered we had no money so as a man Little Debbie Swiss delights and that's how it happened it started where are the Little Debbie cakes I'm with you because I was raised on my but you know we were trained to like Twinkies more because they had a commercial Little Debbie would never bother with a commercial they didn't have a commercial did they know you

59:57can't well that leaders later they did but when we were kids they didn't because how can you have a commercial and sell your product the fifty nine cents of a moister cake yeah it's like a better experience because they had more of those trans fats that I think so I would call ins fats probably well think about it trans fats are part of when you eat like what were those cookies that were not peak frames is like a white Oreo goddamn and I forget the name of it it was well fairly well known but when I was a kid it was an older brand from child some of my parents childhood and hydrox mmm Hydrox their name Hydrox comes from hydrogen eyes palm oil or corn well and so so they that's when it began they were like hey we can take this and it up and turn into something edible and like that not knowing that block our arteries yeah but canola oil like all that kind of that

60:59kind of nonsense but I went after heart attack I want hind rocks there this that it's crazy it's named after a chemical that could kill you that's how they marketed it back in the day it gets chemicals dude I used to up some Pepperidge Farms cookies yeah remember those Pepperidge Farms the way talking to a fat man I've eaten every cookie there is with milk do you remember when they marketed the almost almost home cookies almost home cookies so essentially there was a craze and it stood they still exist to some degree but when we were children cookies work hard unless they came out of an oven fresh oh but then they started serving these soft baked cookies you can get them there they are almost oh now our main you grocers aisle and and so you'd take this cookie out of the package and bite it and it was soft as if it came out of the oven that too is a chemical process I believe

61:52because things are meant to get hard after they more quickly it didn't exactly man it's like watching porn just hard you're eating some mush that doesn't turn into mold i I went vegan post heart attack but I'm certainly it's not an ethical thing like my kids vegan because she's like I love animals but I went vegan because they were like you know if you go plant-based you've got a really great chance of dropping your cholesterol and my kid had been bugging me to go vegan for like three years and stuff and not but honestly not bugging me she would just make comments every once in a while like not your mom not your milk whenever I was drinking milk and then so after the heart attack nutritionist was in the hospital room with me and going like 100 percent blockage man you've definitely time to change your diet I was a guy oh right and what were you eating before like

62:38just I'm not even like I've lost a lot of weight and when you lost a lot of weight I remember you were doing a lot of juicing yeah I was doing a bit of that which vegetable juice if since told me is not good because you're supposed to distribute the juice of whatever with the fiber while eating the fruit and stuff this juicing thing is so it depends on what juice I mean vegetable juice it's not really an issue but yeah like like I'm partner and I'm a Weight Watchers ambassador people that believe that like they like vegetable juices they say that you really better off with like a vegetable smoothie right like we get the fiber it is all about the smoothie keep some of the fiber in it you go by points and like write some like you can if you eat a banana no points if you juice up an N or blend a banana then it has points because then it's no longer about the

63:37fiber it's all about the sugar at the hey just don't have any points anymore huh no they took points away from like eggs turkey and chicken which broke my heart because I used to love turkey chicken then I realized that didn't love turkey and chicken as much as I thought like I went on in order to after the heart attack I read while I listen to it on tape and not even on tape digitally Penn Jillette's book pressed Oh God lost 200 pounds after his heart episode it's fantastic book I'm sure you did a similar issue yeah but he didn't have a heart attack they were like you're on the verge and they were gonna give him a bunch of bypasses and then a friend of his was like instead all that why don't you just try eating radically different I could propose a way for you rate cronies he has a diet called just sides and so in Penn's book presto he details how tray was like for the first

64:28two weeks just eat potatoes nothing but potatoes you have as many as you want he does many potatoes you want but can't put anything on him you can't fry them it's just baked potato and eat it eat everything and you can have nine if you're gonna sitting but you can't put any butter on them no salt nothing just flat out potatoes so it's fun for me that sounded for me your diet well I just come off with a heart attack so I'm like I'd rather not die right so I'll try how many weeks are take those potatoes two weeks straight up just potatoes damn raw not raw like uncooked you can bake them but you can't use anything to cook them you can't wrap in tinfoil with butter and salt or anything like that just flat up just bake them and then eat them you must be importance at regular diet at least in my estimation is that you you're allowed to eat as many potatoes you want and you

65:17think you like potatoes when I was breeding pens book or rather listening to pens book I was like oh my god I can do that like I'd dig potatoes and then you realize you don't like potatoes as much as you like butter and salt and milk and everything that goes into like mashed potatoes and stuff so it's in the beginning there's a sense of satiety because potatoes have some girth to them and stuff but they're mostly water so it's an excellent diuretic so you're pissing like a racehorse and that's dropping weight like more water bottom good vitamins in the skin as well a lot of loot aciem but some people like when I was telling them you know the moment you tell people what you're doing you know everyone's got their advice about how to die and and when I was talking about them I'm doing this potato diet people can't eat potatoes its carbs man it'll nuts too much that's bad and

66:01but in two weeks of eating nothing but potatoes I lost 19 pounds just like 19 pounds just dropped off a lot of it water weight absolutely but at the same time it taught me something more important than like I hate potatoes it taught me to fast like it taught me to like now I eat a meal a day I don't eat in the morning when I get up I don't listen the propaganda of like you gotta eat a breakfast and like that not at all my body has enough stored energy I don't need to heat eggs and more'n juice in order to feel good in the morning I just have to wait for my body to be like nothing's coming in great we'll look over to the stored energy and like that and I got a lot of so you doing like intermittent fasting so what you doing it's it's not so much intermittent it's like I eat once a day and then some days if I'm like I don't feel the need to eat like you go through it you hit a wall

66:47every once in a while like generally about nine o'clock 8:30 9:00 I get a first pang of hunger and my instincts are like quick fix it and then I remember like just in 10 minutes it's gonna pass and then in 10 minutes absolutely I'm talking about 9:00 in the morning yeah so you're eating one meal typically dinner generally about 3 o'clock in the afternoon and then you go a long time before you eat again yeah yeah dude that's the way to eat man a lot of people think that's the way to eat I think so smarter people than I like gray who created the just sides diet and pen who followed the diet and stuff less the same thing one meal a day yeah pen not I can't but trying I don't think he's down to one meal a day I think he just eats better than I do like he was able to keep up with Ray's diet I couldn't after the two weeks it was like okay now eat corn then I was like I've

67:39never eaten corn in my life wait a minute he's telling you just eat corn no he was saying to add corn to the diet and they were adding more things after the first two weeks it wasn't like potatoes now just corn now so there's just sides that's his hook is that you're eating the side essentially you're eating everything that's kind of just all plant-based and stuff and so I couldn't I was hoping that I could you know go the distance and idiot vegetable guy I hate vegetables and so I had to figure out a way to be vegan we can hate fest hate it so much vegetable you find a very thin corridor in which you know to live and exist scooping up that's tofu pretty much eaten pinto beans eaten black beans good source of carbohydrates right what else you know what I've fallen in love with and never ate before in my life for chick peas chickpeas are great such a great go-to snack

68:31full of protein and in vegan comfort food cooking they use it as a versatile ingredient so like if you go to one of my favorite restaurants in town as crossroads they got like this they got real workers place right is that the I believe it is I believe Travis Barker the drummer that's his place I believe so pretty sure they've got a meatball sub they're good I would ride suck a dick for it's so good suppose mercifully they don't make you do that they just make you pay that's very sweet of them it's a good is good business model it's supposed to be a very good place ladies one of the place fantastic they get this me Travis this place tastes exactly as me about five miles from here maybe a little bit more called follow your heart if you ever been in that place yes I have that's why Man Ray to talk about the the diet first have some killer pancakes man I don't know what

69:23they're doing with kind of voodoo they're doing to make a vegan pancake takes that good in New York they got a place in Brooklyn called champs diner which is also like all plant-based vegan food but they do comfort food like you know like you can get a like an impossible burger or beyond right or like you're eating meatballs and we think about it you're like alright the bread is most of it the sauce is the next biggest part and meatballs themselves aren't really that packed with meat it's much more breading than meat and stuff so all you have to do is find something that will stand in for the meat drench it in marinara sauce and put it in between a nice soft roll and they use like ricotta like cashew ricotta to like kind of finish it off it is bliss dude no you know it's just like it's vegan comfort food so you can't do that every day right but it's

70:09nice to know that if you're ever like I miss real food I want to eat a goddamn animal they can hand you something that's like close to the approximate now the good news because I know a lot of people like veganism and you're absolutely right it's no damn fun for me at least but after a month of plant-based I was on a series of medications after the heart attack and still in and it was on a full dose of lipitor which is you know cholesterol cutter and stuff like mm-hm so my doctor I was telling him about this potato diet he's like I don't trust this he's gone I wanna do laps I want to do your meds give me some your blood so he takes my he's a guy gonna make sure you're getting all the nutrition he's like you can't get it off in the potato I'm sorry so he did my labs and came back and he was like you're fantastic he's gone nutrients wise you're great everything across the

70:53board is great except your cholesterol I was like well I did just have a heart attack and he goes no your cholesterol is in the toilet he's gone so I need you to break here lipitor in half he's going you can't take that much lipitor anymore so he's like what have you done different I was like I'm just eating potatoes he goes so your cholesterol dropped so radically that he was worried yeah and enough to take me off of my half half my prescription when is see I don't understand enough about cholesterol levels this is what they told me recently that I found fascinating I thought I was like this is lipitor it's gonna eat up the cholesterol you guys know it's in your system forever no really and it goes yeah I can loosen it up and move it about but then we have to be careful make sure it's loose and soft and and globule cholesterol it doesn't go into your brain Jesus if hard

71:36pieces like you know I don't know if you ever pull like grit off your teeth after you've eaten or something like that I compacted you know that's plaque technically I guess but that's the kind of that it's up in your veins when that gets hard it gets super hard like the the cholesterol that was blocking up my el-ad my man had to drill through it to get the stent in there and you keep that cholesterol forever now I can't say that one percent but that's the way it was communicated to me because I thought I was like this magic drug will eat up the cholesterol that goes no we have to be very careful with the cholesterol because it moves throughout your system geez so I guess maybe eventually it moves out of your system but if it's in your blood system right there's a chance that it goes up near your brain eventually so maybe that's what they're trying to keep all

72:18idiots talking about medical stuff I know but it's all about right now thank you I can't be an expert on everything Joe sometimes you have to like take shots in the dark yeah so we know your audience you know the oranges sitting there right now going like this irritates me if they're not gonna speak truths and hard facts don't they understand medical science we don't we don't that's why we want to Tom but when you are or you're getting a full blood panel done and all these different things they're checking all your yeah and I'm the guy that was via algae and not algae but there's two pills that this ray turned me on to this doctor I bet you knows name but this name escapes me who formulated this these are the nutrients you need I guarantee you've probably talked to this guy his name escapes me but Ray was I get these supplements they'll cover everything he's going cuz you're no longer a

73:09meat-eater anything you need that would come out of meat comes out of this but you know it was kind of explained to me when I was like I don't know like my kid was going you could do it dad I'm like kiddo like we were raised differently like I granted I wasn't raised with filet mignon I did eat steak um through most of my childhood but that's kind of a meat like it's tough to separate from something that you've lived with for so long and she was like you gave up cigarettes and I was like huh all right you're right and stuff so it's nice to be able to go to places where you can eat food that's not just like grass and roots and kale and like what did you eliminate this is what I want to concentrate on because I cheese dare it all dairy cheese milk I was drinking no two gallons of milk a day so that one yet might've been part of the reason I wound up having a heart attack

73:55so milk went away cheese went away animal food products went away so no burgers I wasn't a big burger guy but I did like burgers what about bread pasta that can stay pasta can stay pasta can be a pasta can be vegan but I mean it shouldn't that you shouldn't overdo it right can't eat up on a bread and stuff right you shouldn't No so that just and honestly they prefer it went away yeah like most doctors aren't like hey man eat all the bread you want right you know it's it's as part of Weight Watchers it's it has a value to it that you can eat bread but it takes up like a quarter of the points you can have it's harder to do Weight Watchers as a vegan is it tricky no interestingly enough Weight Watchers so simple because they the app it's all app based now like I was part of it when I was a kid like age 14 I was part of Weight Watchers and I was like the lone male in

74:47the group and stuff now it's so technologically based that if you're in a food store and you're like oh I I want those but I wonder how many point you just scan the barcode and it tells you and so you can enter things like pinto beans boom it tells you they're zero points so anything you enter they generally have a value for even fast food chains mm-hmm so it's it's shockingly easy to use take Weight Watchers out of the equation is being vegan difficult yes like I watched my kid go through it where I'm like you have no choices you're really limited to the places you can go in life and go out to eat but if it's a choice between winding up in the emergency room again and you know eating whatever I want to eat which is what I did for 47 years and then wound up nearly dying closest I ever came to death I'm OK to go plant-based for a while like I told the

75:39kid I'm doing it for at least a year and if I can live like this I'll keep going what so you cut out milk cheese animal products and sugar I cut out prior prior to this now when I first met you you were a candy junkie yes oh my god and look I'm still a candy junkie at heart I just can't run by Benny right I'll always be a candy junkie I'm a dry drunk right now I'm just like I've said all the candy if you presented it but it was mostly the dairy and the meat that that I had by too hot out yes that was the most the the biggest percentage of your diet probably yeah yeah especially dairy no what about exercise exercise well after the heart attack then I wanted to for like the first month so this is only three months ago that happened so months the doctor game of the a ok then I was back to walking the dog up the hill the way I always did I haven't gone harder

76:31than that and and I don't honestly like I'm so lazy at heart that I it doesn't like I know some people like I love getting out there and helps me think and my bless but not me I can think just fine and I'm smoking a joint sitting there watching Colbert or someone that's what you and I separate right you like the physical like the you know you you like the rush you're like the ageneral and junkies who have kind of late raise their level and so it's not enough for you to just sit in one place like you could do this and shocking that you'll do it for 3 hours but then after this you probably do something like razzle a bear knife hunt a species of hills that we there run hills in the morning that's how I bar a couple miles is the most I do because I'm this real steep stuff do you listen to anything are you today I did to that cheated I cheat when I listen to things I think it's cheating

77:24was she supposed to be alone with because you're supposed to be in a meditative state where you're just pushing yourself at a certain pace and when you're listening to something especially something cool it distracts you to the point where you hear how heavy your breathing but you don't think negatively about it because you're thinking about whatever the music you're listening to is like it's really interesting because it's a nice trick because you can actually work harder and not be bothered by it right because you're you're so tuned into the music that you listening to or whatever it is you're really captivated with that you can keep pushing but most the time I like to do it where I don't hear I just hear the pounding of my footsteps and my breathing and also I have an illogical fear of mountain lions so I don't want to be did you see that story that was terrifying yeah and those cats

78:11they weren't like yeah they weren't gone like hey man we may encounter a mountain lion yeah they did the right thing they swung the bike yeah at first they tried to get big because I go to a place and called the canyon Ranch with the wife in Arizona and there's like one trail where they have a sign right at the gate that's like you know mountain lion area and it's got one of those little like graphic tutorials on what you're supposed to do with your body if you encounter a mountain lion and you know you're supposed to big up like the way they're like a mane of a bear is charging at you a big up at it or some such same thing here they're like big up grab a stick make noise and like that and that story those guys did exactly as told and it off for a minute and then came back and that's when they were start swinging the bike at it yeah and then one guy took off the one

78:59guy his friend got bit and dragged and then he took off like he was gonna get help or I don't know what he's gonna do and the mountain lion said this guy I'm gonna go after you now and chased him chased him said wait and you'll have one guy down it didn't kill both guys no it up one guy killed the other but one guy was down I mean obviously I'm just reading the story I wasn't there but one guy was down your guy was survived he said that he felt the mountain lions jaws around his head and then when it released him to go after his friend yup his friend ran in the mountain lion tackled his friend and killed his friend in the tackle or just tackled on the neck just bit you know him up man and this wasn't even a big cat is a hundred pound cat and it was emaciated and it wasn't doing well was probably like an old calf here or something feral they're all feral are they yeah

79:50the wild but it's like I mean feel like was the other word Oh rabid oh no most likely just old and like who they're all feral it probably couldn't catch rabbits anymore and couldn't catch deer was getting old you can't catch a rabbit and you're like I'm gonna go for this human with a machine we're so slow we are so slow does that right oh my god the fastest human is a joke to a cat but a deer deers are so fast here we see a deer try to run away from a wolf or something like that video not a wolf I've seen deers run away from us they were they're all yeah you can't even come close to catch them a cat could catch a person so quick but even if all right so it's a hundred pound cat it's still gonna be smaller than the dude that it's attacking did you ever get in a fight with a house cat never I've never got in a fight with a house cat all animals I am as well but I had a feral cat

80:40I raised him they're all feral Joe no they're not all this is a cat that was actually born in the Y really yes he was born in the wild and I had a stay with him in a room to get myself used to him get him used to me this pre-internet too by the way this is like in the 90s and so I locked myself in a bedroom with this kitten and just brought a stack of books put a mattress in there brought a stack of books just hung out with this cat and every time I'd get near this cat cat would freak out and hiss at me and jump on the curtains and literally like climb the blinds screaming and hissing and then I finally would get my hands on him he would immediately start purring and giving in because once you realize it wasn't trying to eat him then I was his friend I would pet him and he would pearl out an any cat would prayer it was crazy like I developed this bizarre bond with

81:30this cat because this cat was so scared of the world I mean I was that scared of every action every time no and eventually calmed down to be light was one that could touch him though I was the only person like my friends would come over he'd hiss at them he would like wow like like let him know like is about to get really crazy not a regular cat but I could go up to him and I could pet him he was a feral cat you know what was my point beginning this I don't know what what did we have you oh oh I had to get him fixed this is what it was the cat I had to get him fixed and I had to pick him up and I don't know how the he knew that something was going on oh that's right because I was trying to get him in a laundry basket I was trying to put him in the laundry basket because I wanted to bring him to the doctor so suddenly this buddy who try who he trusts comes at him with a case not that deep

82:21into our relationship either because he's only like 10 or 11 months old he's playing in my house man he's lifting the tail up and just shoot and piss on my walls I was like hey you dude he pissed all over the place by the time I realized like I had to get him to a doctor he pissed in my house like 10 times because they just piss in the house and so I know I was worried like if you don't get him quick enough like I had to clean everything up deep cleaning all the carpets but if you don't get to him quick enough he just thinks well he's spraying from now on even after you fix him right that can be a problem right so I tried to hold on to him and put him in this laundry basket dude he tore me the up he tore my arms up he just scratched me and clawed me and he was remarkably strong he's a little cat and this was your friend like he'd be saying the same to me I thought

83:13you were my friend my try stuff I knew it you prick so I had a no bumpers a blanket on him he was hissing at me and trying to get out of the room I throw a blanket at him and under the blanket I scooped him up and I put him in the laundry basket and then I slowly pulled the blanket out so he didn't suffocate while keeping the lid down and then taped the the the laundry basket up so I could put it in my car and he wouldn't jump out my car and call my face off while I'm driving a Chevy Chase movie did you leave it up the vet and just walk away that was a good friend of mine who has since passed on and it was he was really he got loved animals yeah the cat whisperer he know he knew how to take care of it he knew I told him the whole deal coming in and you know he knew he knew how to handle it he's only that ever had cry with me over what animal I had a puppy that had distemper a friend of

84:09mine found these puppies at a gas station someone was giving them away and he took a bunch of and he calls me up and says hey man you want to pop be there at the gas station I said yeah man bring that puppy over here man the puppy just after like a couple of days being at the house would have these seizures like violent seizures we just lie down it's eyes would roll back and you could just pet it a little bit it would slowly come back then it would be weak and delirious and it wouldn't know it would happen and then towards the end it was having them all day long I mean it was just all day long and that's distemper yeah yeah distemper so how does it manifest it it's just some horrible neurological disease that dogs get and if they don't get the right shots when they're young they can get this and there's a bunch of different horrible reactions and it's it's fatal so I had

84:59to take him to the vet and the vet was like there's really not that we could do with him he's having see he's having seizures all night and all night it was awful and he was like he's gonna die and him you know any hour now you know we're gonna have to put him down so he puts him down and he comes out in the hallway I mean I held the dog I placed him down I gave him a kiss I said goodbye mmm and he put the needle in the dog and and put the dog to sleep then we both went outside man he was just crying just weeping you know guys the job just loved he felt loved animals man he had a ton of animals man he had cats and dogs and all kinds of and was killed by a drunk driver that was yeah yeah yeah it was rough that was a hose a rough one I got an email I believe from his daughter the rough one the super good dude man the who are you crying more for the guy or the dog because the arted with the

86:05dog though he started getting teary the dog was a bummer but it was it was more of a bummer even the way he was approaching it just human he's approaching it very humanely like most doctors I guess or expected that they're like I'm sorry this person was passed on he wasn't honest about it at all you know his feelings about it were super raw that's why I would imagine I would be in the doctor just like I'm so Puckett sorry I did scare the out of me with marriage in what way because he would talk to me about his divorce and he would just he just grabbed me like Grammy goes don't you get married don't you ever do it serious but he's like trust me you don't want to do that you don't want to have to go through this kind of a breakup he goes he goes you got a girlfriend right now you break up with her what happens you get broken up that's it you break up

86:54right he goes you don't have to see them in court every week for a year over and over again whether just trying to take money from you and lying about what you've done so they can get more money from you he went through a bad one and I believe some of his friends went through real bad ones too and just he was one of those dudes and I was like you know 26 27 I was like Jesus man this is a man of science is a doctor he knows what he's doing and you know a wise man who knew a lot of so when he you know I was more on so the Grammy goes listen don't get married get married he's just uh you know he was just a guy that you know I mean I really firmly believe when it comes to things like that there's people that are just supposed to be doing what they're doing right and he was a guy that was supposed to be working with animals like it just worked man he had the heart for it I

87:49mean he's a veterinarian you'd probably seen how many animals died how many animals injured and still the guy's crying a baby a puppy is a baby dog nobody wants to see a baby this world without a chance so the dudes got his heart in the right place that's a guy you want to bring your animal 200 percent he's also the first guy that ever told me don't get my dog fixed why well he said look he goes don't let your dog have babies don't be an he goes but if you get your dog fixed you got to realize your dogs not gonna have any testosterone anymore it's gonna be tired it's gonna it's not gonna be the same dog and I was like really and just a cat and so of course I got my dog fixed and I just would not listen to this man go to fixed was trying to calm him down he was a pitbull and he was very aggressive right when I when it did calm him down but immediately lost like most of his energy

88:34he didn't he just didn't have the same he's the same energy anymore he was kind of like bummed out it was weird the yellow lab that I had we had to like when I first met Jennifer my wife she got pregnant like shortly after we met Halle yeah that's how viral I am zero like a like a cat so you know we would never like I never even owned a dog so I was like we should get a dog to see if we'd be good parents and so we went to the pet store in the Menlo Park mall in New Jersey and looked for yellow lap she had in her head she's like I - yellow lab when I was a kid and they're the best dogs for children so let's go get a yellow lab I'd never had a dog in my life so I was like that sounds great I knew what they look like so we went to the pet shop - I found a yellow lab and we found this dog that was blond like a yellow lab and they were marketing it as a yellow lab but she'd been left behind

89:32all the other puppies had gone and she'd been there perhaps a little too long like you know she wasn't a dog yet but she was on the you know what was the Britney Spears song I'm not a girl not yet a woman that's where the dog was she was too big for the cage like her face was pressed up against - no so we were like what about this dog and it was been priced down you could see like 2,000 marked all the way down to like six and really so we got that dog and you never seen like it was like something out of a cartoon because we were the ones that will I get out of this cramped ass cage and come with us out into the parking lot this dog instantly bonded with us loved us so much became so needy we called it Scully we were big fans of the x-files so after a week of having that dog and the dog was like up in our grill all the time just like thank you thank you for

90:27getting me out of there like you are my people and we were like we should get another dog to babysit this dog so this dog has a friend so we went instead of to the pet store we went to a breeders kennel like a pedigree and they had puppies versions of yellow labs and they're adorable like ten of them falling all over each other like an animated like a Pixar movie and Jennifer picks up one and bonds with it she's like this is the one let's get this one I went over to the counter I was like all right man we just bought a dog the week before six hundred bucks and even then I was like six hundred bucks man they they they throw these things out you know we can get one of the free and but I was like I've never paid $600 for dog so you know I went up to the counter expecting well that's the rate I guess the going rate for yellow lab six in her bucks so I went up to the counter and I was like

91:15we'll take that one and the lady's like that'll be $4,000 and I was like for all of them I just want one she's like they're these are pedigree dogs and I just met Jennifer barely knew her so I couldn't turn around and be like put that down that's too expensive I tried to represent so I was just like well 4,000 we're paying to look you we are stealing from you and we got that dog and to be fair we named him Mulder because again x-files fans Scully Mulder and Scully was just like happy heart that just loved Mulder was so smart and thoughtful he wrote my four best movies that's why he died I made tusks and yoga hosers like without that dog writing for me howdy right for you it's a joke Joe he was fear all he's just saying he was so smart Wow he was so smart how smart woody he's so smart he wrote my last few screws joke didn't quite land so I was missing something I didn't set it up properly

92:15I'm not a pro but in any event he he was wonderful but we got him clipped and his demeanor never really changed he was always very low-key he we called him Kilroy because he'd go to the other side of the bed and just look up like this yeah I got my Mastiff snipped it didn't really change his personality stayed the same yeah he stayed the same but he was always kind of a mellow dog we got a very big dog they don't like to do too much we got a rescue last year year and a half ago that was like when a molder died a couple years ago he was he made it to 15 which is like that's old for and for a big dog - yeah pretty deep like a dachshund will stick around you know like cancer but a big dog like that generally he don't make it past ten eleven so we got a lot of good years out of him stuff but it was horrible when he died I spent the last two years of Scully's

93:07life almost as rehearsal for molder their yellow lab so what usually goes first is the hips and the back legs so Scully's back legs when she just the rest of her body could work but she was literally dragging her carcass what was wrong with her legs they just went doctor was like that just happens they're done Wow and she was 1213 so she'd made it awhile but I just took their could you stop working just give out so the nerve stop firing the leg stop there's no muscle that's a common yeah Wow so I put a scarf under her the back end of her called the magic walking scarf and I would become the back legs first so she would walk and I would be the back legs and you know get and piss all over and stuff but I'd dug the dog so it was no big deal so I did that all the way up to when Scully passed away and then molder was always very healthy and mobile and loved walking and stuff super athletic

94:00dog Jen would take him up on Runyon Canyon and then one day his back legs started dropping and your heart sinks because you're like alright Scully she wasn't that active so when she lost her legs like yeah as a bummer but she wasn't like the runaround dog she used to chase Mulder you'd throw a ball Mulder would run after and she would just chase Mulder and try to bite his back legs to prevent him from doing it because she wasn't nearly as fast Mulder was the go out guy he loved to be active so when his back legs went it was like heartbreaking and then he stuck around for two more years so it was literally two years of me walk magic walking scarfing this dog then he got to the place where he did you know it wasn't distemper but when you were talking about it sounded so familiar he would do that thing this thing where he would be like oh how and this would go

94:54on for hours and you could tell it was exhausting for him and he couldn't move so you know everyone in the family was like it's time to let him go and this was like when he first lost his legs but I was like you me if like if I lose my legs you better put a magic walking scarf around my fat ass and not turn me over to the needle like this is family so I held on to him for as long as I could until he got to that place where he was like an obvious pain and I remember I shot a video of it on my phone I still have it and it's not you know it sounds cruel or sick but like it was it was just a reminder because every once in a while like I knew eventually that we would have to put him down and like it's such a weird relationship or one day you're like I love you to death and I'd love you so much F to kill you so I had that video on my phone for the longest time

95:46so that when in like the wee small hours of the morning I would wake up and be like you killed your best friend I could watch that video and be like you had to he had like he wanted to go still was sick so the doctor came over we got the vet to come over to the house and it was like a big deal it was like we all knew it was coming and I was flying home from a gig and I kept telling like Jennifer like don't do anything just like freeze like I'll be there as quickly as possible and so like dr. Kumar who is our vet was you know scheduled to come over and and that last hour it was it probably hands down the most difficult out my life man because we all knew what was coming and your program to stop that at all costs your program to keep people around keep yourself around and yet like we were just all sitting there loving on him knowing that like by the time dr.

96:43Kumar gets here it's all done it was hard dude it was arles thing in the world to do and he was still in pain the whole time so even though you knew you were doing the right thing it was like like I understand why that vet you know got emotional like yeah it's tough so any vet in any event that we lost that dog wogo couple years ago and I'm a 45th birthday we were back east doing a show at the Count Basie Theatre in Red Bank we were doing yoga hosers screening it and we were shooting it for the kind of comic book men show so I was driving down the highway in Middletown New Jersey and I pass the place where we had bought molder and so I was just like you know what man I'm 45 years old a grown-ass man like I make my own money I can do whatever I want go and buy a dog I'm gonna replace that dog like I'm gonna get me another yellow lab and we've had two dogs since then right we

97:36got Louie which is a chocolate lab and check Eve's my favorite is a little miniature dachshund but like I missed mold and I was like I'm gonna replace him and then so I went into the pet store same place the puppies puppies puppies where we had gotten moulder and I walked in and I didn't see any yellow labs and there was nobody at the counter so I was a guy I'll get out of here and a lady comes out and she's like can I help you and I was like um yeah it's like wow I honestly I came looking for a yellow lab but like you guys don't have any she's like we have one in the back and so I was like um okay kind of meet him she said oh sit right down they put you into little room and stuff like that and then they bring the dog in and in my head I'm like I've counting the money out you know I'm sure it's the inflation has hit the dog market so it's gonna be more than 4,000 but I'm ready to

98:20go and then they bring in this puppy and he was good like he was a good dog he's very bounce he's energetic as you could cut this dog's nuts off and it wouldn't have mattered but he wasn't molder he looked exactly like him but he wasn't him there's this weird lesson of like when it's gone it's gone and you need to appreciate it more when it's there because you know they tell you this from a young age but like everything everything dies and nothing's replaceable at the end of the day so as i sat there playing with this dog I was like it's not like it's not him it's never gonna be him and I would sit there raise this dog his whole life expect him to be something else somebody else out there wants this hyper puppy not me but I took a picture of X doesn't my with my wife and so it's a picture of the dog of texted it to her my wife instantly calls me back and be

99:13like do not buy a dog you can't do that I said I'm a 45 year old grown-ass man I can do what I want she goes no we have two older dogs at home and it's be so unfair to bring a new dog into the house and she hit me on that level going like you know what you're absolutely right she's like you gotta wait until one of the other dogs dies then you could buy a new dog that's a fair enough and two days later my wife weave right before we go home to Los Angeles like uncharacteristically says there's this dog in my Twitter feed look at it and it looked like this emaciated he look like the dog from the Sarah McLachlan song like in the arms just then I asked like the dog from the Haunted Mansion ride dog you see on a can just like bones with a dog head on it and and I was like that's so sad she's like they found this dog he was tied up outside a kill shelter with a rope and

100:01he was trying to gnaw through the rope and so these people they took it home to foster it but they can't keep it they already have six dogs so they need a home for this dog and I'm like okay what does that have to do with us and she was just like we should be the home I'm like what happened to like we can't get a new dog because if he unfair to the other two old dogs she's like Kevin look at this dog so we went over to lady's house and saw this dog that sounded like the distemper case that you described with the puppy this dog was dead three paws in the grave just weakly looked up at us and talking weakly went right back down and shed look like hell look like honestly look like a skeleton but just a dog head like glued to it but heartbreaking you know and so instantly I'm like stalks on Death Watch if we bring this dog home it's gonna help these people you know so they don't have

100:51to take care of yet another dog but like this dog is gonna die on our watch this dog ain't gonna make it look how lethargic is when we picked her up she felt like she was like 12 pounds and this is a dog that's mixed pit it's got a pit head hard as ship she was all like I may see it we took her home after a week man that's when she started like getting alert and and the vet had told me he goes I said what do we do for her how are you fatten her up he goes give her eggs his eggs he gives em eggs good for a give her protein will fatten her up it'd also be good for a coat he'll bring her hair back it's alright so I start making eggs every morning it's just scrambled eggs and I give her the eggs like suck it up and and then I was like these eggs are so plain so I start putting like bacon and cheese started making omelets for the dog dog got fat quick healthy all

101:34the fur came back took the dog into the vet and the doctors it's like what the happens dogs dogs like 90 pounds I was like he said to give her eggs I've been giving her omelettes every morning goes I didn't say to cook the eggs I was like winning mean he's like you just break an egg and put it in a ball it's a dog there's eat it like you made it eggs I was like yeah got in a fight with my wife many times because she was like you never made me an omelette I was like well the dog is dying here so that dog we nursed it back to health we named it mad Martin Marty and she since we don't know her history like she figure she's 6 years old the doctor guest she's clearly a street dog and she lives in her head I guess the same way that that cat you described did everything was terrifying took a long time for the trust and she loves my wife like she must understand that like she was the

102:25one that got her into this house and so when other people come into the room she goes nuts because she's very protective of the wife and like that she could flip fast and recently we had an incident in the house because she doesn't get along with the two other dogs so we have to put up all these like what we call it checkpoint Charlie's in the house he's series of dog gates the dogs could you ever female dogs they're all female three females that I've had problems with that in the past females didn't that they don't give up the Alpha position like males that give up like if you have a couple males you're gonna get one off of us and the boss will run the house like I have two males right one of them is 120 pounds he's a mastiff and the other one is a Shiba Inu English bulldog mix they have a very clear you know there's a one is way bigger right there's no issues so who's the boss the

103:17one is the boss but females they don't they don't give up on that they so it's just like I'm the off they keep going after each other it's really common it is really common with females especially if you leave him alone for any length of time they each other up man that it happened not on my watch think it happened it's time away did it yeah I asked I just have two females was terrible terrible ours was ours happened when I was away I was just show to three weeks ago in Vancouver I did a few Canadian shows and that night my kid called me and she was like Marty and Chuckie got into a fight I was like what and Chuckie is literally the Scheinman adoption she's a miniature dachshund and Marty is the size of a pit bull and Mick's pit so they've seen each other they walk with each other we walk them in the hills the walk side-by-side and but the moment you get in that

104:04house yes that's love Wow because they want your love like your love feels so good like if you come over and massage them another dog comes by you might stop massaging them and start massaging that other dogs they'll attack that dog I'm not kidding that's that's the dogs a hundred percent yeah especially dogs that have been mistreated so they're just jealous yes my dog that had an issue with this was also a dog that I got from the pound I got a couple from the pound I won from the street she was covered in mange and I nursed her back to health and a similar story she's two years old she had nipples so she had had puppies wait wait wait this dog has also extended what you call the standard extended I said I might have the wrong but the vet said like that doesn't necessarily mean like in Marty's case he was like I was like did she have puppies because it looked like she had nipples

104:54but he was like no it also some cases it happens with dogs that are emaciated but I can't imagine a straight dog didn't get laid you know yeah I don't know I mean the the vet said she had had puppies I don't know I don't know why he determined that I think he had said because the nipples is they were hanging low like that's really I always yeah that was like um but the two females like the male got along great with both dogs he had no problems with them but those females man they would fight all the time and they would fight whenever one of them when someone come over to get pet like they got in a big fight once because the pool guy came over and the pool guy was like hey what's up kids and he pet one of the dogs over the other had the other one and so they started going after each other like you know you and you know I get this call hey man your dogs are about to each other up

105:39over the pool guy like oh my god you're so cool guys so I had to keep the girl separate the we were keeping them separate with gates but you know if I can somebody turn to back and the two wound up in the same space went at it and so one dogs way bigger than the other and so the big dog picked little dog up by her hindquarters and was like shaking it like a dog shakes a toy but meanwhile Shecky is the little one is she has no new Polian complex so she's got no idea of like you're bigger than me she didn't give a so as the dog as Marty is swinging and Shecky the little dog little dog is swinging from side to side biting her and then swinging to the other side and biting her she wouldn't go down dude like I imagine if somebody bit me in the ass and shook me from side to side I'd be like you win but this dog was just like from Al's art I stab at thee she kept trying to go right back at

106:37her so when I came home it was heartbreaking cuz I'd heard they got in a fight and my daughter was like she's got stitches and stuff so I was prepared for stitches but when I got home it was like it it looked terrible like she had it she looked like the walrus from tusks like a Frankenstein version of her Lee how was the other dog she had pieces of her like missing chunks out of catchy she was like she knew she got in trouble because Jennifer like put her into what we call chicken's prisons the other side of the gate where you lured the dogs in with chicken and then you're locked in the bathroom you could still see everybody else but there's a gate keeping you on that side of the room so she went to jail for that and and you could tell she felt bad about it but does it linger like you seem to know more about dogs that little dogs always going to remember that fight

107:26they're both gonna remember it yeah if you leave them alone they're gonna get to it again they're girls if you brought home an extra wife how do you think that would work out that's exactly how it's like with dogs they told you that dr. Craig my friend did that yeah yeah yeah he he just said you can't have two girls he goes they're just they're just gonna they're gonna go at it he goes more often than not he goes like you leave him alone you have a nice big yard doesn't matter he goes they're gonna finally I want to sit there why you sitting there that's my spot that's my boy dogs won't do that to no boy dogs can fight over others you can do that they can fight but boy dogs if the Alpha this is according to dog people right not me I don't know what I'm talking about but what it the way it's been explained to me is that boy dogs for the most part with you

108:13know a few exceptions exceptions will pick an alpha alpha will lead the pack then unless he's challenged by a new dog or one of the dogs gets bigger or something happens he is older unless there's some sort of a shifting of the chain of command he will remain the Alpha forever he's the Alpha he's the big dog see I didn't know this about the Alpha and with Scully I was again a new dog owner right so I would go to let Scully and Mulder out and Scully would barge through the door right he's an alpha first she was she's the Alpha so I would I would deny didn't know this until later in life later in her life what I would get like shitty about it like hey man write him first and so I'd hold her back and let him out and the betrayal on her face and the confusion on Mulder's face of like bruh bro no no no no don't bro let her go let her go bro isn't it funny how we attach

109:06these human characteristics to animals we decide that we're gonna stop bullying yeah I know the order of things you should go first bullying in grade school bad bullying and dogs you ain't gonna do about it you just better let that go just don't let him fight with each other but I my my to dunk my two older dogs they only only wanted to have issues Marshalls the younger dog who runs circles around everybody and when I opened the door to feed them the big one comes in first every time if the little ones too close to the door he'll I'm eating first as viscosity with Louie your rules but I let them do it they don't fight with each other you know they're cool with everything but this is just the the the leadership that they've established and it's one of those things that like hit me in the wrong way because I'm not an animal right you know what I'm saying I'm like

109:55I they've obviously got a system down they've worked it out everything's cool my friend Whitney Cummings knows way more about dogs and animals than I do she actually has like a horse that she raises that's like a rescue horse and she rides it with no saddle and she has a bunch of dogs and I wait rescue horse with somebody like go no it's a it's a horse I think you know if they use them for movies and stunt horses and stuff like that they don't have a one person who own them some horses get abandoned and she rescued this one horse so very similar to what happens with dogs someone abandons a horse yep yep horses get abused I'm in fact I was talking to cat Zingano the other day too is one of the top UFC women bantamweight fighters and she was talking about equine therapy too that she's worked with horses and takes care of horses and there's something about a human bond with a

110:45horse you're petting a horse and riding a horse and feeding a horse there's like a very good love bond that people develop with horses but any Whitney knows a shitload about animals my point and she when I talk to her about her dogs she's like she goes well I'm the boss she goes I don't walk around them I walk through them I walk through them i patent they're out of my way like we have a real clear like there's a power structure in the house Whitney's the top boss and all the dogs have to just deal with her so she's the awesome out of the 100 percent she pushes him out of the way she decides when they eat she makes him sleep in pens like she really yeah she gives them rules yeah still has a lot of structure pretty gangster yeah she's I would not want to be mothered in that way look you got your quarter bear dogs she's like they're not people we attached these

111:36human characteristics and needs to them and that's not what they want what they want it's order and they want you to be they want love and a lot of affection and they want exercise and all those other great things in good food but they also want order and her order is she's the boss she's like what's that sense it totally makes sense yeah she's read a shitload of books on it I've read a couple books like way way back in the day on dogs I read some books on dogs but I don't know enough oh my information is species picked up from vets and and also probably a lot of theories that I stitched together to allow me to discharge into the animals you give your dog's boys's and like that voices yeah like do you do the book dog's life for your wife and stuff like I'm always like no you don't I do sometimes from Marshall cuz you're so silly because he's such a silly dog so

112:20you'll be like oh you're a silly dog we're gonna do there you go my voice for Shecky is I check him in my world the little dachshund calls me the man she doesn't know my name she just knows me as the man she knows my wife has that lady so she's always like the man ease oh I loved Manny's for the pits and food cuz I I wonder how they view me or do they view me as an alpha cuz I'm the guy that's like I'll take you out for a walk I'm gonna be which is deeper you're larger and you would be the most intimidating if you had to fight to the death but they don't see me like that I never even see me be mad but they hear your voice yeah they'd hurt me like five button with my wife and though I guess you're sure you guys are arguing yelling at each other for sure but the fact that you have a deep voice I mean that it that it shows you're male that's enough for them to not yeah but

113:11all right but let's say like Chucky I've had for thirteen years mmm-hmm over thirteen years this little dog knows like I got him wrapped around my finger let me put a man do anything I want the way you talk and way you look if a guy the size of LeBron James was right next to you with his crazy deep voice and super powerful body and he'd talked to that dog that dog would listen to him oh that's the boss finally a real man well there's just a hundred percent no doubt about it that's a way bigger organism than that dog right and it's talking with this deep voice and it has confidence like yep whatever you need I'm just gonna lay down right here and but if you were like some little what's that fella but give me a small person's name Herve Villechaize de play no no no no I meant like very thin wispy tawny 20-inch Kofi well Tommy it's cliffs when Antonius cliffs is 20 let's

114:01say that and he tried to you know talk to the same dog in the same room the dog would be like dismissive but James give me directions you call that a boy's Hill you call that timber I might be able to eat you now so I think like with Whitney's case she doesn't leave any room for any gray area she just runs the roost but she's super affectionate with her dog so all these pictures on Instagram her her cuddling with her dog she clearly loves dogs but she's until its cage to the books she's like how to take your cage some people sleep with their dogs and which is cool but the dogs are farting in your face and stuff you're trying to sleep and they're snoring like you're losing sleep for a dog I don't know about all that I don't know if that's the move bro you literally cried about a puppy B I know but now you're gonna tell me like I draw a lot of dog farts don't care

114:51I'll cutely your own bed dude it's over there you go over there I'm in here no become would you take their dog smeared paws and rub your sheets with them and touch your pillowcases dude that's part of the deal that's why they don't sleep in the bad man's ridiculous leaf in the bed with this she got very short hair - I was in high school my dog had fleas real bad and I had fleas in my carpet it was rough man I would go through the house and I would find fleas on my calves like in the walk on my carpet from my bed to the bathroom in the hallway I would have fleas on my leg when I lived with my parents in New Jersey at 21 Jackson Street we work at people heat run out flee me here comes watch this guy I'm about to pull out my flee dick and throw it on the table against your own flee did they we had cats and the cats a lot of them are outside cats so they would come in

115:43with fleas we'd never had pets when I was a small child we didn't start getting cats in our house towel is about 12 13 or something so my mom like having no prior experience with cats and stuff decided that like these flea problems are too much we have to give the cats baths with you know flea shampoo and stuff so you'd do that and cats don't like anywhere near water and like Bravo oh my god it was terrible it scratched out well I know because my mother also insisted that I clipped the cat's toenails first she wanted them like declawed and I was like you can't do that man like cats need their claws in nature and she was like well you have to clip the cat's Conan toenails they do that at the vet all the time so you know you take off the hooky point part right and then you can't they don't like that they don't like it but they like it better than if you took the claws out altogether and so

116:29I used to bathe the cat and then when you bathe in the cat with flea shampoo every flea comes to the surface to try to live and so they would fill the sink I just in the water and you know they're dying in the water because the shampoo is in the water as well but my mom would always take a good step further she would give me a set of tweezers and she would be like get that one and I would pull a flea off the cat and you have to press really hard because they're kind of flat to kill them otherwise they just jump away and then come back to the cat when it's dry that was like my it wasn't a set schedule like every Tuesday night I bathed the cats but once a week my mom would be like you have to bathe the cats included busy fleeing did you ever get rid of the fleas never never you know what got rid of the fleas where there is a story yeah yes eventually there was

117:21the the nor'easter of 92 on the East Coast we had this big storm like it was kind of like a hurricane sandy but though not as big and our town got flooded including like our neighborhood and we have like 30 outdoor cats that my dad would feed we were finding those cats for like weeks after the flood people would be like we found six of your cats under our house and we're like they're not our cats number one they're all I ever drowned dead a lot of these poor cats on fences yeah did I hit that was all maximum impact dead very theatrical we found a few like holding on to fences you know like did it escape the flood waters it was heartbreaking smart ones went up in trees though and they stuck around and lived but after that flood no fleas whatsoever but not nearly as many cats either that might help scry stay you ever cat guy were you always a dog person I've always had cats

118:12yeah I've always had both pretty much that's why you really don't want to die at the paws of a mountain cat well I just know what they are masks you know they're super predators they catch deer with their face whether they killed deer with their face they use their face to kill a deer ha they bite it in the neck they tackle it and take it down that's why mountain cats are scary they're unbelievably powerful I had this guy Donnie Vincent in here yesterday's uh outdoor filmmaker okay and he was talking about a cat that these guys had hunted and killed they weighed 200 pounds and it was two years old two years old they weighed 200 pounds they'd been eating so many deer just that it was just this massive jacked super predator who's just roaming through the forest and asked those guys in Seattle that you know survived the one guy that survived the one guy that

119:07died from that attack the mountain bike attack they're terrifying animals why so do you think they attacked the people just because they were like we're hungry yes his just was emaciated I think that's exactly tried to eat them he wanted to eat them he was starving and so he knew that they were an organism there were normal thing on the diet but it was so risky oh it was so rather hungry that it was willing to take those risks it was willing to go after some people even though the people are swinging their bike at it and that was a part of the story that like got me the most about Union because you're like that's what I would do I guess I would swing the bike and you would think this bike will save me but no you know it brings it back to my story about the housecat when I threw that blanket on him dude I couldn't believe how strong he was he was so strong because he was fighting for his

119:55life he thought I was gonna kill him so I'm trying to stuff him into this laundry basket he's going crazy and all I was thinking is what is this cat weigh eight pounds like maybe eight pounds I'm terrified of them all has to do is catch a jugular just it's a little more complicated than that is it yeah be hard I mean put your hand on it stop the bleeding it's not gonna kill you like a lion kills you like what if it usually but what if it got both claw sets of claws on what are you what a tiger four sets of paws on to shredding it in so many different directions really it's mostly you can't be killed by how they show scratches it's it's very rare that someone gets killed by a house cat they're all right here here's the situation you're a house cat and it reaches back and claws into your femoral artery you should let it go it's clearly not control at that point

120:46clearly um if you fought to the death with a house cat I would bet on you you would win but it would be ugly man but it would be but what the force that you can generate is lethal right the force that it can generate is ferocious but non-lethal like if you put me in a room with a cat I'm coming out of that room 100% of the time with the house cat it's gonna be dead I'm gonna kill the house cat yeah but it's gonna me up in the process scratched up I'm gonna have bloody hands I might get my face clawed up but I'm gonna kill it as soon as that thing gets to half my size I'm dead is that my size yeah fit not even one quarter of my size well let's say it's a fifty pound cat I'm I because it's too powerful 50 pound cat is like 150 pound 200 pound man plus they have fangs they have claws that it's it would be much stronger and faster you wouldn't be able to stop it

121:41from biting you and clawing at you it would be too big and if you got to a hundred pounds you're dead if he gets to 200 pounds you're super dead you're dead quick it'll crush your head it's gonna grab a hold of your neck it's gonna crush your esophagus crush your windpipe and it's gonna it has sensors in its teeth like certain certain big cats they can feel where your veins are with their teeth their teeth have like a sense where you know like you ever eat something and you feel like a hard piece of something like maybe eat now a crab or something like that a little piece of shell gets in there or you can kind of move that shell around inside your mouth while you're chewing and you get the shell over here that sense of moving your tongue and knowing what that that cat has that with a without Fang and those how to hit like an antelopes juggler or a lion when it bites into

122:36something to take it out clear where the blood is it feels where the veins are but it doesn't want the blood right it's just like I know that if I break this then this thing will stop moving and I can heat it it's mostly cut off the air if you see mostly what they do mostly that they do is crush the neck there it's more of that than it is like cut you like a knife would cut your jugular it's mostly crushing every if you if you had the presence of mind like let's say this thing is crushing your windpipe can you reach up and choke a cat to death I don't think so why because I think they're too strong I think what he'll stress they're too strong so would it be swatting at you or something or do it too much muscle or as much muscle both what if you put your fingers in a size that'd be one of the only things that I could think might have an effect but it

123:22would probably just I have a second one I have a second luckily you Jeremy finger up the cat's ass instantly it's done are you gonna get way back that's how that's that's what I do with my last few rats dude no way a few feet away in the same way that little kitten was attacking you it's like i'ma you up I would leave this life in the mouth of a big cat with my fingers up its ass it would know that I was there before I left this world you stick your finger up a dog's ass it breaks its concentrate doesn't no no that's an old wives tale now you ever see two pitbulls fighting each other stick your finger up their ass watch what happens you're holding your finger and the ass the dog is biting another dog that's what's happening nothing they don't do they want right no I've always read that if you stick your finger up a dog's ass instantly stop what it's doing if you got a bitch-ass

124:09dog that doesn't Drive there are certain dogs that are going to hang on they're just going to hang on and you could so peopleö your fingers in my ass but biting this other dog is the most important thing in the world they're driven because you want to pet yeah they're very driven your cat may want to kill you study says I buy that in a heartbeat I believe that look they would absolutely kill you if you were big enough or if they're big enough rather look at the photo that used it 100% would kill you if they could that's the Joker of cats what the cat yeah if you if you were the size of the cat and the cat was the size of you you'd be dead oh yeah 100% what if you were its friend from the beginning new ways they don't have friends like that like I have a joke in my act about how you could have a dog and have a pet hamster and that hamster could live a long and healthy life in

125:00the same house running around that if you got a good dog and you train that dog you got a cat that lives in the house with a hamster the hamster has an hour to live its lucky there's no such thing as a cat that also has a pet hamster that's a dead animal next to that cat they kill everything everything they can Canaries lizards whatever the you leave around that they can kill that's what they like to do like to kill why do we have this relationship with them them because they are smiling like this we're we're the to the cats we feed them we give them free massages they don't do anything for us all they do is curl up to you and go I'm willing you to touch me and of you too didn't say he loves you if you die the first thing that happens to you when you die is the cats eat your face is that true they get hungry they start eating your lips if they can't get to

125:46anything yeah people that find dead bodies what is this I nearly killed by stray cat left covered in blood because cats are mean and awful wait a second wait go back to what we said before we've read that which part I don't know the thing you just said it was shocking very distracted yeah you totally took my head out the game but it was about the pocket about the yeah dogs the cow if the cat was as big as me the cat yeah oh you hundred percent yeah if a cat was like but what about a dog if the dog was as big as me no dogs can be giant and still be your friend that's why a woman could be like 90 pounds and have a 200-pound Mastiff and that dog will he listen to her she raised that dog from the time it was a puppy and she can ride it like Khaleesi Roger if she wanted to totally but dad a dog listen to her if you have a cat that big like you better hope that that cat just just

126:38decides to not kill you because one day it might just get bored and they're not planning ahead you know they're not only investment bankers they just don't like the way you're moving one day just jump on you and just you up and kill you it's true I've been like hit by cats like not like in the face but like you're sitting there and all this and they like you so if you were if that cat was eight times its size did you see that video the guy who was a long time animal trainer and he trained lions and he trained this lion left for like ten years and he's in the pen with the thing and the thing just looked at him funny and the guy starts backing up it's like oh no when he runs and this is lion just chases after this grabs him by the head and drags him around and apparently he survived the lion let him go and somehow another they got the line away from him got the guy to a hospital

127:23but he was an older guy I want to say he was like deep into his 60s and his lion was dragging him around by his head and this is a line that he had trained and that what happened to what's-her-name Melanie Griffith like her mom tippy tippy hundred was entombed with wild animals lions yeah yeah I think Melanie Griffith got bit or scratched as a child yan'er early teens or something like that yeah she had to have you know facial reconstructive snow really I believe so whoa I never heard there's a movie that they would like they should I forget the name of the movie but they shot like the movie of them interacting with the documentary but I'm living with big cats yeah when you watch the video online it doesn't even look real like we're doing wait a minute is that real that's really Melanie Griffin with lions and tigers and yeah how many different cats that they

128:09have there was a lot right I want to say there was five it's other kind of thing you just ask people I'm gonna make cats the cats obscure the tip engine and the Griffith said look at the article he's a wizard with that group pull it up so we could see the photos it's so preposterous look at that look that's crazy that's crazy it's crazy she's only got fun that looks this shouldn't that be the way life is you imagine if you're a burglar and you broke into that house holy what a mistake imagine you break into a house and you see a 600-pound African male lion just looking at you with that gigantic head of death man the bizarre head tail of Melanie Griffith and her pet lion do they talk about the attack look at her spitting water into the big cat is no one in the family was ever injured by the lion know what by that lion by that one no my Neil but Neil certainly could have killed any of them

129:07at a moment's notice at one point he did attack Ron Oxley his owner during a dinner party at his home all of that after Neil the family went on to adopt numerous big cats but results in a series of serious injuries oh now 57 years old melanie has learned from the experience and runs a sanctuary that's a sanctuary for 32 big cats oh my God look at that thing on the desk that is so insane first of all doesn't that thing need exercise just to keep it together look at the size of that unless you think you got to feed that guy a lot dude and only meat there are obligate carnivores you know they're not like a dog look at how tall he is in the fridge huge animal man that's the point where I'm like I'm not working here anymore it's just laying around their house look at the muscles on that thing and do you think they're like cats like will they only where they're supposed to he imagined it

130:02I want yeah the thing about the size of this cat I mean this is it's crazy it's so big it's it must be a thrill to be around something that could just kill you at any moment and apparently lions in particular are pretty cool with people yeah that's nuts they're playing the lion hazard by the leg she's jumping into the pool and it's a fake biting her all that about that picture putting head on a t-shirt with those words they were morons dude there were buddies we got young she looked she looks she's a kid she's in her teens at this point she has a giant lion in her yard can't find the thing cooler with her apparently than Tigers Tigers are a little sketchier there's a little sketchier so it like you'd have an easier time home owning a lion then we would add yeah I think this is I'm talking way out of school but what I believe is the case is that male lions

131:00are mostly there to protect the pride they're mostly there there they're not the hundreds right there the bigger ones the females do all the hunting look at the size of that female oh my god what's going on here in the movie it's attacking her than the movie yeah that's what I mean it's what the link watch this close call below so it's biting her she's got her mouth around the ribs is it actually hurting her she doesn't look happy I'm not showing it whoa this is crazy all right this is up so this is in the movie they were freaking out - the line was biting somebody the father refused to yell cut this is real yeah oh my god no blood was drawn and the lion grabbed her hair and pulled her back so the line was just with her but he but it's dangerous she was once clawed to the face they're not filming that required be quite reconstructive surgery that's a story that I'd heard of

131:55she was close it so we're responsible and you know there's several lions in this house you know it's not just one so lions there yeah the Lions are just running and I think they picked him of these were Lions that came from like service isn't 17 million dollars in the movie and it brought back to roar yeah Podcast get ready for another fifth and button and that that's 17 how much 1871 seventeen million dollars in 1971 yeah it's a nice way to launder cocaine money son that's what's going on there what is that today like eighty million dollars billion true what I was saying was I think what happens is that lions the male lions don't hunt they usually just eat the kill that the female lions hunt today they're doing all the hunting but with Tigers the male lions hunt like they're all hunt and they don't they don't operate in packs you know they're not like your independent rogue yeah

132:52they're not they don't they don't operate the same way Lions who don't have a pride you know I don't think I think Tigers are pretty much on their own you know I think the females take care of the Cubs as long as they can but I don't think they they have these big I could be wrong fine off I'm wrong but I don't think Tigers operate in like like that kind of a group in a world where like I've got a miniature dachshund that means that somebody genetically made that dog smaller right well when you say genetically they're not doing it through a laboratory they're doing a three selective breeding and it's remarkably effective and then you do that I just needed that to get to this point can you do that with a tiger yeah baby tiger yes so could you that's what happened all house cats have come from some kind of wild cat that we turned into a domestic cat and there's a bunch of

133:40different varieties of cats right the difference between cats and dogs is that all dogs come from wolves all of them everyone every dog every dog started as a wolf Tigers do not live in permanent groups like Lions do for the most part they live solitary lives except when females or raising Cubs although rarely seen the term for a group of tigers is a streak oh that is a streak of tigers a murder of crows yeah that's dope mama tiger when I was a kid now I could tell her mom if there was another one we'd be a streak of Tigers Tigers things up man they all things up all the males hunt and there they're a fast animal man oh is this where's this guy he it's on YouTube we're also roars roar this is the whole movie it's on YouTube oh I just randomly clicked to a spot where they and the movie is about how they have these big what seems like a good insane movie it's called the most

134:38dangerous movie ever made oh my god guys an idiot and when you say they said he's a father Danielle cut that was Melanie Griffith's dad let's direct dude this is crazy they're off these lines are fighting for dominance and this guy is running around in between them while they're filming a shitty movie lazy look it's like you stay out of my business oh my god blind you just wanted him to know that that little tree branch was not gonna stop him Jesus crisis is blood up because it cut each other up man they're biting each other a each other up it's what they do man and this was a movie that was meant to show how stupid the guys a roar is a 1981 American adventure exploitation film written and directed by Noah Marshall producing starring Marshall and his then wife Tippi Hedren co-starring hundreds real-life daughter Melanie Griffith and Marshalls real-life sons

135:32John and Jerry oh they were a Brady Bunch type family the film follows a family who are attacked by a range of ravening jungle animals at the secluded home of their keeper iris thought this was a documentary they were literally making a movie with real lions about how lions were attacking people samba 7d members of its cast and crew being injured by the many predatory animals used in the film including its main stars sustaining life threatening injuries raining from bone fractures to scalpings and gangrene much of the footage capturing the injuries was included in the final cut of the film resulting in real blood on screen it has been considered the most dangerous film shoot in history Wow what we need to do a fight companion bad tigers as well oh my god leopards or Jaguars where those Jaguars or leopards do you know the difference - look at the tiger they just look at that

136:30for part of the world but he just jumped in the boat yeah congratulations thanks they hit him in the face well they have to I think you have to get it to think who's boss is that a panther of course it is all this now the boats sinking you you is his life of Pi oh my God look at that thing it's so big so what we'll do is one day we'll do a fight companion but put that movie yeah we'll do it this week we're doing roar yeah we'll do roar you need trouble for that we get in trouble for a fight companion for roar now there's people that do things like this yeah no totally it's what does it consider its commentary from yeah reviewing it needs to be seen that needs to be heard I'm completely educated I thought it was documented but they're actually make they were trying to make a pic of narrative a fiction there I didn't even know there was a documentary I just do

137:25that she had lived with lions and I'd seen it in a magazine article or something or and that's not my real dad that's her step that stepdad was crazy could you imagine yourselves like Jamie get in there with the lion would you put that evil on me Jamie oh my god what is it the movie look at all the cats in the room with her I don't know how many and there were crazed and I'm sure the cats are like confused as by the rolling cameras as well being like what is this all about yeah they're horrible it's I mean those are the that's the cleanup crew for the world that's what cats are they're out there taking out as many of those zebras or Buffalo or whatever they can and so that's what they want to do all the time and if you're just feeding them and then you just have many yard they don't even do anything like you you got to exercise the out of those girls to keep them

138:18from just that kills lust that's in their body like they evolved over millions of years to get to this point where this through this enormous hulking supernaturally powerful animal that kills things with its face and you just take that away from them you know you're gonna be in the pool with us you're gonna be in our movie we were to start off in this boat come on hop in the pretend to fight know like what pretend rah that's guys like when the do the Antelope show up so I could start jacking fools would you you're would you agree that since you do more outdoorsy activity than May ie running ie you've gone hunting and stuff like that your chances of being eaten alive are far greater than mine oh yeah a hundred percent it me it's like surfers I'm in a 0% chance in most of my life of getting eaten by a shark but I have friends are surfers who surf all the time and they

139:15love it and they're willing to roll that dice because they like surfing that much and I'm like you know you can't get bit by a shark if you don't go in the ocean yeah and they're like we've got this shark thing figured out and defeated just don't go in the ocean they say it's worth it I I gotta tell you man like there's a bunch of bad ways to die but I always felt like the the most indignity I would ever feel in death was if I was something else's food it's one thing if I'm like my body goes into the earth and the worms and the grass and like that but to be someone's meal is so it's a temporary a permanent solution to a temporary problem your life for their meal of the moment and they're just gonna you out in a couple hours and that's why I think it's hard for humans get their head around being eaten by something because like no I'm too special and then they're just gonna poop

140:07me out but that would be the indignity man it's like they ate me to stay alive I guess but then it's not like I sustained them forever like I sustained him for a couple of hours and they shipped me you know well that that is how it works right yeah it's very disturbing seeing images of humans that have been eaten by animals I've never seen a nanak don't wanna do you don't want to so they're starting to move toward a keyboard like I donno classic one of a body that they found that bears it eaten and I was horrific it's just crazy to look at human anymore I mean you know what it is because it was still wearing sneakers and still annek half of its pants on and it's still like you know the one yeah you could see the thigh bone I mean the the the meat from the bone had being completely stripped off and it was just nothing but the thigh bone and it's just horrific you got to realize like those

141:02things man when they get ahold of you the amount of like the amount of power that a bear could generate like especially a grizzly bear my friend John saw a grizzly bear kill a moose by swatting it swatted it with its paw and broke its back a moose I mean second deadliest animal on the planet it is a big is it really yeah yes and that crazy nobody thinks about it because when you think about the moose you look rocky you would hippo is the most dangerous animal to man on the planet in terms of like how many people get Kim Amal second is the moves Wow part of the deer family that's crazy they're the only deer really that will regularly rush people hmm I don't want to be anywhere near the moose during the rutting season there's that but really more importantly is you don't want to be near a cow yeah she's got her calves that that's obscene video of that on that's the same

141:55thing with Risley x' yeah they say the real the real fear is not running into a male grizzly the real fear is running to a female with Cubs they lose so they just don't want you around you might be a hunter maybe they've seen someone shoot an animal before maybe they saw someone of their family it's like that little cat that just like shoots suddenly like you're gonna kill me yep even though your buddies well it has Cubs if it has Cubs man they're there on full red alert all day long because they get eaten all the time their Cubs get eaten by other bears so weird it's like an animal has enough sense to be like something here I'm gonna protect my kids and we just watched footage from a movie here where the guys like get closer to that Lion honey spit water in its mouth yeah because we're soft and we love the thrill of being that close to death in danger

142:43I don't know you're a smart man no I'm a chicken man no you're wise man no courage as well you don't that is not true you have courage you just choose to not put yourself in dangerous situations all the time you'd have never taken this path in life and become this guy if you didn't have any courage you absolutely have courage but you're just smart enough to know that you're not like a physical person you're not into you don't want to do those things you definitely don't want to be around some giant ass cat I can kill you it's not a matter of being a coward it's a matter of being smart it's true but if every day that's a matter of being smart now you have everything collapses and like that then I got no livable skill no one does you're ready to take the hills with a bow and you're just like you are how many arrows do I have you know how long can it I live with these arrows you know

143:31what happens if I break one would it then down down to 20 arrows how many how long can I live with 20 arrows how many things am I gonna miss do you brought in to break into a Cabela's steal a bunch of arrow shafts figured out they were got a gluing machine I gotta learn how to restring a bow with it what if one of the risers snaps I gotta get some spare bows somehow and have them laying around I'm not doing well man I'm gonna be real skinny I'm gonna miss a lot I'm not gonna get enough food but you know what's gonna happen you're gonna be like at least I didn't die years ago like keV oh because he had no bow skills whatsoever want to be one of the people that restart civilizations no yeah no do you know there's lamed when everyone's like this sucks this is your fault you he started civilization like like tried what's going on right now in Hawaii yes fairly minor what is in terms of

144:17volcano volcanic activity in terms of the world like there's there's giant events that happen every you know hundred thousand eighty thousand whatever all over the world mmm and the giant events the super volcanoes have been responsible for knocking people down to an estimated what was the number something like 7,000 7,000 people somewhere it was maybe a couple thousand 70,000 years ago is that where I'm getting December 7 from the okay know that the human population killed everyone except for a few thousand people and there was this was somewhere around I think it was 6070 thousand years ago was it say a Pompeii like event seventy thousand roughly a thousand reproductive people thousand people left seventy thousand years ago a thousand that was the last of the humans and they repopulated from that number to us one says it was as low as 40 forty people maybe so just a reference is

145:14biblical where they did this information well listen man if Yellowstone blows we're dealing with the exact same situation again most of North America is dead what yeah what Yellowstone is a supervolcano Wow might hit as low as what what happened here you went to a JFK thing conspiracies reading pairs of Pete well we've waxed we can win let's say wage and wants in our history the worldwide population of human being skidded so sharply we were down to roughly a thousand reproductive adults one study says we hit as low as 40 40 c'mon it can't be right well the technical term is forty breeding pairs children not included more likely there was a drastic dip and then five thousand and ten thousand bedraggled Homo sapiens struggled together in pitiful little clumps hunting and gathering for thousands of years until in the late Stone Age we humans began to recover but

146:06for time there says science writer Sam keen we damn near went extinct and that is because of the volcano that's amazing what is it what killing the lava blocks the Sun blocks the Sun everybody runs out of food everything goes extinct this is a major yeah it gets really cold oh my God look at that very scientific so look at the difference in Mount st. Helens a little a little fart Vesuvius 79 said the Toba supervolcano is the one that happened 70 thousand years ago yeah so that was a mess around for Mount st. Helens you massive super yeah I remember that after my imagination shows kids like we got volcanoes on this pitch well Yellowstone is the spooky one because that's a supervolcano there's just water no no no is that yellow stone is what they call a caldera volcano meanwhile what is is it gets to this peak and the eruption is so violent it flattens out in the

146:57the mountain disappears and there's just left this crater and so when they were first looking at it they were trying to figure out what it was they didn't know if it was an impact crater what it was crater from and then they started using satellite imagery I want to say like 20 years ago 20 plus years ago they realized that it was a supervolcano an enormous volcano I think it's something like 600 kilometers across and if that blows like that is a wrap for North America that's a wrap and it blows every six to eight hundred thousand years and the last time it blew was six hundred thousand years ago so we could be on the verge of the within the network job within the next two hundred thousand years it's likely if the history repeats itself again that we get some sort of unbelievably violent event that comes out of Yellowstone that literally brings humanity to its knees

147:51so all of our problems with overpopulation destroying the environment crime and war and corruption they will seem like nothing because there will be no Sun getting in there will be nuclear winter plants dying this ain't even the fan of snap and a half the people disappear this is like these are the end times the sky is possible did something like that if especially if there's more than one of them went off like say Yellowstone goes off and then say one goes off somewhere else in the world I think isn't there like seven or eight super volcanoes there's there's seven or eight of them I want to announce it could split the earth I think we just cover the earth with ash if the problem is the ash the ejections and all that stuff just blocks out the Sun and it lingers for years three of them are in the western part of the United States which what are they that's wait that's where we are three

148:44dude what are the other ones long Valley and Valley grand I know what is that never heard of those that's one way super close to us where the is that one we're sitting on it right now I am I used to be scared that and then after the hard volcano I don't know I don't I don't get it scared of that somewhere do you feel different now that you've had a heart attack do you feel like you're a different person do you have a second lease on life as if there is but not in the way like you see in movies where you're like can you feel is it mammoth mammoth is a super volcano Valley caldera oh shut the up is adjacent to Mammoth Mountain Dunham so it could blow mammoth could blow yeah but wouldn't you rather be that close to Ground Zero like cuz you don't want to live in the ash Glendale so just it just erupts it just kills everybody anywhere near I don't want to be like a million

149:38miles away and watch it from the distance and know that in a month you're gonna be starving to death it's coming soon yeah you're almost better off and having happening right underneath you and just sucking you into the lava did you ever have a near-death experience no no really no it's not like it is in the movies where you suddenly you're like now I see everything more clearly it's certainly an organizing an organizer like you where you're like you know I guess that just doesn't really matter so much anymore and periodically you sit there and go like oh I almost died so it puts things in a different perspective but I saw a lot of folks online go I'm like I can't wait to see what he makes next man cuz it's gonna be so profound and that's not true the next thing I'm gonna make is Jay and Silent Bob reboot there's nothing profound about it and stuff but I

150:23figured I figure cuz I started thinking about that why and I think it's because like I've just always at least for the last 20 years twenty five of my career just conducted myself in a way like live of the bucket list life I just do the things I want to do exactly that's why I hate you saying that you know have any courage mission take courage that's a self-centered no courage is like I don't know how this is gonna work out but like you know it and also courage comes in place that's not about you I think for me I just want to do that seems interesting like seems fun Ted you have the confidence to pursue that listen dude confident you teach how to use a bow and arrow and you'd figure it out you'd eventually rise just like you're losing all this weight and readjusting your life and do that Jake if it all went down they'd be like eat him first and then I'd be so insulted because I'm

151:13like you're just gonna me out I'm good for a podcast or two please don't eat me so tomorrow I have Robert Schoch on the podcast this is geologist from Boston University and he is one of many people that's now pushing this very controversial theory that the Sphinx and many of the other structures in Egypt are far older than people think they are not just like a couple thousand years ago but maybe even ten thousand years ago maybe even more and he bases it on water erosion marks in the temple of the Sphinx like where the Sphinx was carved out in the Sphinx enclosure there's all these deep fissures that they thought was sand and gravel and wind but he has you know he studied he's a geologist so he studied erosion his whole life and he looked at it and he's like this is water erosion from thousands of years of rainfall and he goes into in great detail the last

152:02time there was great rainfall in the nile valley was 9,000 years ago which is many thousand years before they think the pyramids were constructed so it's one of these things like they didn't even know of a civilization from 9,000 years ago that was capable of cutting and moving stone like this like this rewrites the history you know super reluctant but the idea that all these people have these people that are talking about these ancient civilizations is that humanity rose to a very high level and built some incredible structures and then something like that super volcano or an asteroid impact or an ice age some gigantic catastrophic event wiped out a shitload of people and then people were forced to rebuild and sort of relearn so if you're looking at some of the construction of the pyramids like the Great Pyramid of Giza I'm pretty sure they've dated that to 2500 BC mmm so the

152:52people that made the Sphinx and even some of the other structures they might have been from longer ago in history in relationship to the construction of the Sphinx than we are to the construction of the Great Pyramid like we might have well we're talking about if the Great Pyramid was five thousand years old right yes right now you have to it's entirely possible if the Great Pyramid of Giza would say think of somewhere around five thousand years old if that was five thousand years old the Sphinx might be four thousand or more years older than that there might be structures that are ten thousand five hundred even thirty thousand years old as some people's when they go deep like a guy named John Anthony West that was his deep speculation based on the way the Sphinx lines up with constellations in the constellation Leo it does it it like 10,500 BC but also it does it or not no

153:4910,500 years ago but it also does it at like thirty thirty thousand years ago or somewhere in that range like really long ago which people go and get the out of here that's just not possible and his his take was like we don't know who we're just talking about rocks we don't know how these rocks got into this shape this is just we can there's no record it's no recorded history or rather used to have some but you know they've got hieroglyphs they've got a few things but supposedly had like a like a incredibly developed society the Mayans and the mines yes they built some incredible structures and they were like really into constellations as well they lined up a lot of their structures with the constellations they knew a lot about the summer solstice and they had a really complicated calendar that was like a thirteen lunar cycle calendar you know they there was like that the thing where

154:40the Mayan calendar was supposed to end December twenty first two thousand couple of years ago yeah dude I thought it was over buddy we've got a couple more years Pro move your life yes seem to know what they were doing wait a sec should go back so if that turns out to be the case humanity has experienced these great great like high achievements in construction methods and their ability to put together these enormous structures and then Cataclysm people died off they get down to a small number and then they rebuild and then they do these over the you know these these dips and ups and downs over the course of thousands and thousands of years which we got to put it into perspective this country is only 250 years old that's nothing so if you went back just let's go thirty let's go full crazy let's go back five hundred years go back five hundred years which is nothing in terms

155:33of the history of the planet and nothing in terms of even the history of human beings relatively but five hundred years there's nothing here but Native Americans there's no structures there's a few Europeans that have visited there's a few set people that have come over in boats but there's no buildings in terms of like there's no New York City no Chicago 500 years ago there's nothing there's none of this yeah go step outside a city look around do a 360 and look around and realize how improbable it all is you're a thousand years before that same thing thousand years before that and if you think this is empty is empty for thousands and thousands years now two hundred and fifty years later it's crazy it stacked up with buildings in the construction methods that we were never capable of two hundred years ago three hundred years ago five hundred years ago we couldn't build these things

156:22we couldn't make airplane we didn't have the knowledge yet we didn't understand it yet the idea is that people have gone through these great great heights many times and but they did it in different ways and that's why like when you look at the construction that the Sphinx and the pyramids nobody builds anything like the pyramids today two million three hundred thousand Stones some of them cut from a quarry that was hundreds of miles away they said take the rocks and float them down on boats and fit them into places it's crazy so the knowledge they must have had the wisdom the the understanding of construction methods of if you're off just a little bit with each Rock it's not gonna meet up at the top of this perfect pyramid shape it's a marvel of mathematics and engineering and construction and by everyone's estimate it's five thousand something years old or in the range of

157:12four thousand five hundred years old somewhere around there that's insane and that only comes along and says it may be older than that might be older than that well that not they they don't think the pyramid I'm pretty sure and maybe this is controversial as well but I think it's based on the biological material that they can pull out from in between the cracks and the stones still of what people who died well stuff you know like anything physical or anything biological rather like wood or or plant material and let alone into the building yeah that's how they carbon dates something apparently they need carbon so it's really tough to carbon date like a stone because you don't know what you're dating are you dating the the way the age the stone was cut or the stone was created like what the is that if you got a giant piece of limestone what are you dating are you dating the

158:00actual origin of the limestone it might be millions of years old I don't know how limestone is like isn't it I think limestone is seashells that have been ground down and smashed by gravity and layers and layers of earth until they form into a stone see if I made that up we might have it sounded awfully metal there's some like that for sure like I know travertine is that travertine is like old seashells that have been like compressed down at the bottom of the ocean forever until they form like this hard layer pretty sure that's true too it might be that might also be built right you're well-read nope incorrect am I wrong most limestone deposits are made from the shells of microscopic sea organisms coral reefs are a beautiful example of organic sedimentary rocks made by creatures that are still living okay so yeah it is so limestone deposits it's made by the shells of microscopic sea

158:58organisms so these shells they compress down they make this stone they built they built giant buildings out of this so just think of the age of that stone like how what how old is that I mean so everything that we think we know could literally be incorrect by a couple thousand but even that it's like I think it's weird that we're holding on to these numbers instead of like saying well we have some tests that show that we're pretty sure that this was created around then but that you might be right that might be older but people like really resist what he's saying they're really resistant because you'd have to go back and a lot of people that got degrees in Egyptology like you have to like rewrite what we know because once they once they decide this is the age where this was made and taught Moses the third is responsible for this and this guy is responsible for

159:52that once they write that and sell the books it's super hard to take that back and suddenly be like wow super hard to admit they don't really know and so this guy's and this isn't something like hey Pluto's not a planet anymore because we were off by its size or whatever this is like we had literally no idea that people existed that far back well we knew people existed but we didn't know they were Cape building things like that but I'm saying like why is that even surprising if people four thousand years ago could build something as crazy as the Great Pyramid like why would I be shocked that someone four thousand years before that could build a sphinx more four thousand years before that can build some other temple I mean it's also just a number that's really like ridiculous to get your head around where you're like wait 4000 from now backwards and then 4000 from that

160:42point like forget it yeah and then to think that humanity was probably restarted at least a certain extent somewhere on the end of the Ice Age like the the humanity recovered and started flourishing again so who knows you know but what number people we dip down to fifteen thousand plus years ago if they were if they built the Sphinx further back than we thought they did did they have language skills yeah it must offer you can't build something like that without being like hey put a nose on it I think they're pretty sure language is 40,000 years old see if that's true I think that's what they think I think they think language in the form that we would describe as language you know like maybe you know I don't know what language is 200,000 what okay Psychology Today though definitely probably smarter than me so okay so 200,000 years ago moreover around 50,000

161:40years ago for a period referred to by archaeologists to the Upper Paleolithic an unprecedented cultural explosion began to manifest itself for human communities maybe that's what I remember so fifty thousand years ago is the number this in my head so language they had it a long time they didn't start they don't think at least they started writing until somewhere around 10,000 years ago but they don't even know if that's the case but I think the oldest known writing that we know of today I think is that stuff that comes out of Iraq kunia forum I think it's called it's from the ancient Sumerians they were the oldest civilization that we're like modern I mean not modern but advanced civilization that we're currently aware of and they kept records yeah they wrote in with like old school did you ever do any carpentry no no when I was a kid Boston I've worked on a lot of houses

162:32and demolition stuff and carpentry stuff and you would go in these old old houses and they have these weird nails because the nails were all handmade back then they weren't a nail like you think of a nail like a tabletop with a pole underneath it that's not what the nails were the nails were like this weird kind of like almost rectangular triangle thing and that's that was exactly what cuneiform looks like it has a like a very specific pull up some Sumerian Sumerian cuneiform so it's a series of lines and it's really it's got to be insanely hard to decipher like what what they were writing and what they meant by all this but this is their language that that you're looking at right there it's that right there so it's it's like seems like an intermediate between hieroglyphics and an alphabet yeah I mean I don't know graphic when you look at it yeah like it's still mm-hmm well

163:27that's not that's like look at that toward letter what is that that's like if you saw that on a spaceship you'd be like oh the alien writing yeah apparently it's not even that alien but doesn't that look like if you saw that on spaceship that looks like something from like hangar 18 yeah right if that was on the outside of the station stargate ii but yeah it looks very Stargate to me like look at that dude that is like some sort of like if you had a computer printout remember those old-school printouts they would run through computers like the little holes punched in them that would look kind of like that the man that's the oldest language I think that shit's 6,000 years old I think it's somewhere around there and that's like Babylonia as I've been able to decipher an alphabet or be like yeah forty-eight letters in their alphabet they found but they found a lot

164:16of cool they've got a lot of cool from the Sumerians I remember someone's kid like you know I went to Catholic school as a kid and the big story when we were younger was we got like new nuns sisters like at a certain point like when I started Catholic school Our Lady Perpetual Help they had old school nuns that you know would wrap your knuckles and like your parents would talk about and then all of a sudden they these new sisters come in sisters of the Franciscan Sisters of the infant Jesus and they were more like about education almost like a Jesuit priest so that you know they definitely had their vows and whatnot but they were more progressive in their thinking than like the previous generation that had come prior to them so sister Teresa was like our eighth grade teacher captured our imaginations with the Dead Sea Scrolls story about how you know there

165:14was a Bible that we all worked off of and then thanks to some kid who threw rock and a cave they found all these jars and inside of the jars perfectly preserved were all these writings on parchment songs yes yeah and so that's where we started getting a clear picture of the Bible and that's where they found Bibles or Gospels that aren't included in our Bible and man it was like this is a minute before Raiders of the Lost Ark came out so then when that movie came out you were like it's all it's all connected yeah the scrolls are fascinating man you know they had to use DNA testing to make sure that they were getting the pieces of this parchment from the same animal skin so like say if you had these pieces they did they had so many they studied them for years right and they for to decipher them they would have to lay them out on tables you ever see what they look like yeah like laid out on

166:12tables and so one of the ways that they had to determine where pieces would go this is a incredibly painstaking process they had to take small bits of organic material because it's animal skins and then they would run it through a DNA test and go okay this is the same animal this animal is where you know all these pieces go in here this is likely for the same piece of skin how amazing dude is and it's crazy and I think it's the only version of the Bible that was written in Aramaic yes well done you're well-read I'll read about drugs see this is all about gianmarco allegro we talked about yeah that guy that's how I found out about yeah the Dead Sea Scrolls in the Christian myth and the sacred mushroom in the cross books on that but he was a usually guy who studied that the Dead Sea Scrolls at what point we just saw an image of the Dead Sea scroll parchment spread out

167:06point do I give up instantly you know what I'm saying like where somebody's like good luck you might have to D and that goodbye yeah I'd be like yo if you need funding I'm down to tell me I got a jet I got a spot at the store not for me man I mean but it is for somebody and I'm grateful you know I'm grateful that there's guys like that like Robert Schoch who's you know taking these trips to Egypt to study this and really putting his neck out there but releasing this very controversial theory I'm glad there's all these people out there that are questioning these things and looking into these things and that someone has the energy to study the Dead Sea Scrolls and to go over and apparently there's some wacky ass crazy stories in there like they've tried to compare the stories for the like way more extreme way way weirder to the point where people are only think we should use

167:53these stories did they involve the same characters I don't know you know like Jesus I don't think so what is it like maybe we could find because that story has a price chunk missing yeah he's 12 and then next time they pick him up he's 31 yeah I think that's probably something that can't be just googled where was Jesus probably have to read a book on like what they learned out of the Dead Sea Scrolls but I remember there was some sort of a documentary on all of the hidden truths of the Dead Sea Scrolls and why these Christians were trying to omit it from you know then and not you know put it into the final version of the Bible you know it's it's so gnostic gospels they pull a lot from from there the Gnostics were people that it was a faith I guess or a a section of faith that they were great record keepers mm-hmm but they were also not necessarily like and it

168:50was the Christ himself the mighty son of God they you know they were a bit more practical in their telling of the tale yeah didn't religion it up quite so much if you had if you could go back to a time and observe life there like being like a giant bulletproof hamster wheel yes and observe life would you go to the dinosaur era and see like live t-rex is running around and and predators and crazy thick atmosphere and heavy vegetation of spree 65 million years ago or would you go and watch people from like five thousand years ago I get one shot of this one shot either you know does the dinosaurs because I'm like I've seen Jurassic Park and the real dinosaurs probably aren't gonna be nearly as impressive as browsing for you that being said Rasik Park you saw that being said I go I go to the I go to the christ era because that might solve a lot of problems if I can come back and

169:53be like he was real and he turns out he was the son of God like then here is let's listen to the clerk's guy everything you got fooled by magician bro who's the guy who literally who's telling us that the Sphinx is older than it is somebody's got to put their neck out there some yes I'll be willing to be the guy to do John Anthony West was the guy he's dead now he just died recently what yeah John Anthony West I thought this guy who's Robert Schoch that's I'm sorry he's another one of them he's the geologist John Anthony West was the guy who was like making all these DVDs about it he's a really serious Egyptologist it just passed it what has to weigh yeah he's the one who's really trying to put old a cancer so he was the one that first load the theory that like well might be older than he just had a he's got this crazy DVD series called magical Egypt it's phenomenal

170:43I think he's got a two one and two I really only watched one but it's so good man I mean it's like a six DVD series all on the the mysteries of Egypt what the hell happen we just got some oh that's me oh you Siri it just starts recording me did your phone just come to life and start she just started it's the government man the phone I'm talking to Rosanna where are we talking about what was I just talking about magically g-series so this this guy is the one who got me like really intuitive wrapping my head around the concept of civilizations collapse and then a thousand years later rebuilds again and then do you think about what the United States was like five hundred years ago it was non-existent and now look at what it is now and that these great moments of change happened periodically in human history especially in places where there's a lot of commerce and there's a

171:39lot of food like you know the rich vast wilderness and you know the rivers filled with fish and places where people could get enough food and they would build these cities and then they would start inventing and innovating and a hundred years later they'd be better 200 years later they'd be better than that five hundred years later they'd have crazy structures and then they'd be building things and apparently this is what it was like in the Nile Valley when they were would when they were constructing all these things it was just a bounty of food and then somebody just shook it looking at your schedule I'm a change that's the real theory really yeah because this is what they're saying about the Nile Valley is that before 9,000 years ago is our tropical rainforest and now it's all you know you know it's all sand in the desert but before that it was like trees

172:24and the climate changes whether we with it and make it change faster or not it's not stable it's constantly going up and down you know and so this is probably also partially responsible for what happened to those people but those people had taken to another level man more so they need to go there even because I've only been watching DVDs and I'm scared of going to Egypt because it's sometimes it's a little unstable right but man what it must be like to see these four thousand year old gigantic stone structures that were cut and moved by who knows how many people and who knows how the they did it they just have theories there's just guesses they don't know there's no hieroglyphic wall that's like here's the real story not really I mean the problem was they think that a lot of the information was in the Library of Alexandria was written down that was

173:14burned when you know they were conquered so cuz they don't really know don't really know how they made them there's a lot of good guesses a lot of good theories but you're talking about millions of stones and they're huge like how long did this take they say if you kind of place 10 of those massive stones a day it would take you six hundred and sixty four years to make the Great Pyramid and what all we know how long it took just what wait a minute say that again ten of those massive stones a day it would take you six hundred sixty-four years to build all the great pyramids to build just a great period of Giza just that what does that one just that one so whoever commissioned it certainly wasn't around to see it finish hundred percent unless they had some wizard magic that we're not aware of and they did it way quicker than we think they did well who knows how long

174:04they it took them to build we don't really know it might have been a thousand years you know who knows where do you stand on faith or what happens when in your estimation we die what happens I really don't know and I think in that regard I'm right there with everybody I think you can have your ideas and I think those ideas can strengthen your resolve in this life and they could even help you and this is something that I had to accept as I got older more the same thing like okay why do I have this reaction like there's certain people that are like these ardent atheist they're like God is dead there's no God shut the up and like okay how do you know you don't know so even though logic would point I mean if you really paid attention to the way human beings tell stories you would have to say well a lot of these religious stories are probably fabricated or maybe there was an initial

174:53message or maybe there was some wisdom that these people initially stumbled upon they wanted to document it but whether or not all this came from God you know the Cain and Abel and trying to trick a brother and to kill an another brother like oh I almost gotcha you know you're gonna do it for me you're my boy you're gonna kill your brother thanks man or this have so many of those stories sounds a little more human than its way more godlike yeah but does that mean there's no God no of course it doesn't it doesn't this this universe is too bizarre for you to leave anything off the table any any possibilities of what what created it what sustains it other than scientific you know you you get down to like the most reductionist perspective of it's just a series of quarks and gluons and at and you know an energy and maybe maybe it is all that maybe it is just that but

175:45maybe that in itself is God maybe God is not a material thing but it's a creating force of the entire universe itself and it also has good in its heart like maybe the reason why we love like hugs and good conversation and and you know a cute puppy and all these different things we like love and we like happiness because all these things are powerful forces in the universe and all these things represent the greater will of the creator of whatever it is that makes this universe so spectacular whatever the that is I don't know what it is but anybody who says they know what it is is lying you're lying you're trying to trick people so that you have the ultimate truth and they don't and that's how we control people and that's fine up until around now it's fine when there was no internet it's fine with books were scarce it's fine when we had to keep order it's fine it's

176:36fine but it's not fine anymore yes we know too much now so it doesn't mean that there's no God but it means you definitely this guy that wants the jet who's that it's televangelist that wants 50 million dollars to buy his own private jet for sure that guy's full of right see so there's like things that we can like he's found a hustler and it's not even original hustle it's like I know what happens after this give me your money God wants me to be wealthy that's what he's saying he says everyone is some lucky experienced the afterlife yet I've met people that my belief is that a lot of that can be attributed to the chemicals that your brain is capable of producing on a regular basis it does what you're sleeping it does where your inter periods of extreme stress and you know and that all these different chemicals most likely are released in the brain during these overwhelming

177:25periods of anxiety and fear and terror and injury and when your body is thinking oh hey and this might be it you know and I think that's probably what a lot of these near-death experiences are is that people are experiencing what you would call an endogenous psychedelic experience the your brain is releasing these potent chemicals that it has it absolutely has inside of it your brain has a ton of different you know things like dimethyltryptamine and different psychedelic chemicals it's capable of producing as well as like melatonin dopamine serotonin adrenaline cortisol this here's a storm of going on in your brain and in a moment like Jax at all hops it through your neurons and everything's firing and you're seeing things that aren't there and you're talking to dead relatives you're imagine the pearly gates and your imagination is on ten and you just see it everything that's the

178:21reductionist perspective the the the hopeful optimistic spiritual woowoo perspective is this is a chemical gateway and you're seeing through the door of the other side and then when they decide it's not your time yet you're sucked back to where you lie and then you're allowed to resume this life because you have more work to do and that's the perspective that a lot of people feel when they come out of those experiences right they feel like I have more work to do I can't stop now my mom years ago guys like ten years ago more than that even maybe fifteen years ago at this point I had a heart attack our heart episode rather my dad died of a heart attack but my mom was on the table and they were putting a stent into her heart into her artery and she was sitting there chit-chatting while they were doing the surgery I guess she was on a local more so than anything else and she

179:11was joking around the doctor she's like her got hurry up dogs I gotta pick up my mom for the and then went out whoa so she died for a minute and a half clinically dead they had to try to restart the art so I was like what what just what happened what was it and she didn't she said you know she didn't describe it I saw the bright lights and I saw people in love she said I was floating and I was like floating up she goes no floating on my back it's like okay well you were on your back in the hospital do you think that's what it was she's like I don't know but this is this is what I remember every iota of responsibility I ever felt in my life was gone she's like I felt free like I felt instantly lighter and just as I was heading in a erection that's when like they pulled her back so she'd been dead for like a minute a half-hour hearted stuff so I was like all right you've been in this

180:18best of all possible worlds for you know 60 plus years now you've seen a glimpse of the other side which is better and my mom said the other side and I said what well you were there for like a minute and changed why and she said I was completely free like that was it I didn't I didn't know this one I don't have to care for this one I don't have to make sure this is taken care of I have to feed the cat she was like it was bliss she's like and if that's what happens then I look forward to that again so when I was to have my three months ago and the doctor was like you got 20% chance of living I was sitting there going through all the in my head about like alright well this is it you're you've spent your life with your head up your ass and you know if I can trying to figure out who you are go ahead look at your head an art what is your this is it this is the big moment

181:10like what are your thoughts what's going through and now you know I'm such a in life I assumed that I'd be like the guy was like a suck your dick to stay in this life because I know this life and I don't know what happens afterwards and stuff so I thought I'd be begging for you know for help from God or something like that but I was like I'm a dog but I'm sure Jesus would be like go to hell you buddy Christ my ass so instead of doing the the religious thing I started thinking about just the journey itself I was like well if the journeys ending what are your thoughts just like when the day held up the phone they were like do you want to talk to your wife and I was like I know of course I did but I didn't want to because I was like I know in my heart of hearts finance if I speak to my wife right now I'm gonna be in that 20% been the 80% I'm gonna drop dead

182:01because that's that's any of it not even like oh my god it's gonna kill me it's just the way they were so like do you want it your wife is on the phone do you want to speak to her right now was very leading and you know they're professionals and these cats deal with life and death every day and this is my first experience with so what I got out of it was you're probably gonna die it was what they felt yeah and it's still I was in the state of like I didn't even realize I was in a heart attack and so I remember looking at the phone and being like if I answer if I talk to Jennifer that's gonna be I'm not gonna leave this room so I was like I'm gonna play the odds if I don't talk to Jennifer maybe there's some part of me that's like look I like talking to Jennifer we've been together 20 years I better enjoy talking to Jennifer maybe if I put this phone call off you

182:51know they don't get to talk to Jennifer when it's all done so I said to the dude I was like you know what tell her I'll call her back and the guy goes seriously and I was like yeah and I saw him talking off the phone I was like what she said he goes she was pissed dude and I was like wow I'm dealing with my own right now so I was laying there on the table and I was like going through my life and I was more grateful than anything else I wasn't scared anymore that was the thing I was the love thing that I'd love to communicate spent my whole life terrified of dying and when I was as closest to it as I ever knew I was and for all I know I was closer to some place but like I was cognizant been told by a professional this is risky I was just kind of I was grateful more than anything else I was like what a journey like yeah and I'm 47 and it seems short but like you gotta admit you did

183:46more than most people get to do and maybe that's why it happened at an early age because you weren't gonna get the rest of this time and like that but like I wasn't mad I wasn't like why this is unfair I remembered like there's a issue of Sandman which I absolutely love Neil Gaiman comic book series back in the day and in in like after the first story arc he we meet his sister the main characters dream Morpheus the character of dream he's part of the endless and he's got a other siblings delirium desire one of his siblings is death and they represent death in the comic book you know you're used to seeing the sky than the Grim Reaper and she's a little emo girl goth girl wearing a knocker on her neck and like that was written in the 90s and they don't tell you right away that she's deaf as you reading the issue you're like oh I think she's meant to be death she's fairing Souls

184:44over to the other sides you see a baby pass and she's holding the baby and then there's the the the refrain is like then I hear the sound of her wings and that's taking this soul over to the next place as she's sitting around talking to her brother and so she that she eventually gets into a room with this older guy who's like who are you and and you know she's like I'm here for you you know who I am and he's like that's it he's like oh my god I did all these things I worked my fingers to the bone and what did I get this is it what did I get and she says you like a line that when I read it when I was 18 it was powerful but when I was laying on the table it was constantly going through my head and and made it all easier made me kind of at peace with the idea of dying there's this line she says to the guy she goes you get you got what everybody gets you

185:33got a lifetime and as I was laying there I was like oh my god I got a lifetime like that's that's what it was nothing more nothing less and I did some in it and now it's gonna stop and people are gonna go on without you and that's not terrible like I thought I'd be desperate to live and instead I had that weird like scent I understood what my mother said for the first time because I was lying there I was like oh my god like I made it to the end like this is it this is the finish line and it had been something I was terrified of ever getting to but then when really kind of faced with it I was like oh like I'm done like I'm not scared that I'm done I'm actually kind of relieved than I'm done and like you know like I didn't get killed and I wasn't home invaded a shark didn't eat me all the things that like I've been terrified of my entire life like I don't have to

186:28think about anymore I made it to the end and it it's kind of okay so it's weird my whole life I thought like you know I'd be scared of death and most people we all are we're all terrified of dykes we don't know but that's the closest I ever came and I wasn't scared like suddenly the fear just went away and it seemed logical like of course it's over like things end and I didn't want to die I wasn't didn't have a death wish but I was like if it's done it's it's kind of it's done and count your blessings and be happy and don't be a like don't if if the ferryman shows up tonight don't hold out don't be the last at the party go No like just pay the ferryman get on the boat and go we'll see what's next and stuff and then ultimately Laden Haim did a good job and I wound up living and stuff so I I know this much I got to read a bunch of like after I nearly died it was all nice people wrote

187:20very nice things about me and and I expected you know it was them creature of the internet that some people be like I wish he had died him to death and I wish he'd stay silent but generally it was like very nice things people were kind of positive and stuff so I was like man like you know again I didn't want to die but like if I had like that would have been okay now I'm back at it you know what I'm saying like now until it ends like I've got a you know and it's kind of easy as long as I don't wake up with a dead girl or a live boy I don't think like they'll broke me over the coals when I die in the future and like that but it felt weird to be so close to the completion and having something that normally terrifies you suddenly be like oh it's okay like and and I don't if you walked up and put a gun in my face I'm sure I'd feel threatened but like I kind of lost my

188:18fear of death I'm not like death-defying I won't go out and do anything differently put that that dark cloud that kind of kills any good time the moment you start thinking about like the feelings on you're gonna die one day like you know it's gone and I will send them like yeah I'm gonna die one day and it's gonna be awesome but not for the reasons that you think I'm saying it's gonna be awesome just be awesome because a finish like it's nice to finish things we know how good it feels in life to complete something and that's the biggest thing in life you'll ever complete is your journey so I didn't walk away gone like I got to do more like I got to live life to the fullest I just got to keep doing what I've been doing like livin life the way I enjoy it trying to do things sometimes they work sometimes I fail and sometimes people are on your side sometimes people like you

189:07blow and just do that time have good conversations in the process meet interesting people here new points of view and like that and keep at it but it's nothing to be afraid of like I don't want to get eaten by a cat don't get me wrong like I guarantee you I would not be philosophical as a big cat was crushing my you know I built James's know I'd find prayer quick but death is no longer something I'm not looking for it and I certainly won't put myself in harm's way but it doesn't preoccupied me anymore I've been there and it's not the thing that I was led to believe it was like it's not the the ultimate fear come true it's not the Grim Reaper there's a sense at least in my case and again I didn't have a painful heart attack I'm sure people have heart attacks where they feel like their bodies being ripped and cleaved in twain but it wasn't it wasn't that it wasn't scary it was okay well

190:10this a man I'm glad you lived because I love you and you're my favorite and after the heart sorry I couldn't wait we started texting to be like bro you gotta come in oh definitely I didn't want to ask quick roast like that's so morbid listen man you might not make it do you think you get in here yeah but no is happy to be here and stuff as well as we all are happy to be above ground it's better than below we're happier your perspective to really I want to know is your seeker as well and it means a lot to a lot of people that are listening to because that's what everyone's scared of right off loast everyone's scared of the ride you know we we that's what we think we're trained to think that way every movie every book you read every song is about like how it'll suck when it's over and and that fear can keep you from enjoying it while you're living and

190:59try and cool things and stuff like that not all me in like putting yourself in harm's way look let's shoot a movie with real lions that's been done don't try it you watch the video but the things where you're like I'd really like to try it like won't work or there's maybe time later that's the one thing I did walk away from it like time you're lucky for every goddamn second every goddamn sucker so use it wisely and then think and I think if you can just think that way like today's a borrowed day mm-hmm you know you'll have sometimes you have to trick yourself and they're like finding more enthusiasm you have to trick yourself to be pumped up about stuff but if you can really do that and exercise those patterns in your brain and get them normal there's there's people that have tricked themselves into enjoying all sorts of things that they know are good for them they just fire up those

191:49chemicals and today we're gonna just go out there and attack this day because this is a gift this is this isn't supposed to be here we got one I think that all the time now honestly that's like an underlying that goes under almost every thought I have and it doesn't happen constantly but it literally happens about ten times a week you'll be doing something you'll be had in somewhere you've eaten something whatever having a conversation and then you'll be like this isn't supposed to be happening right now I'm detecting based on the odds I was supposed to die back on that table so suddenly you're like I'm playing on house money house money you know what I'm saying have it live a house money life kids live a house money life kids that should be a t-shirt whoo thank you Kevin excellent really appreciate you brother appreciate you how many out