Tony Hinchcliffe

00:07oh yeah here we go Tony Hench cff is in the house Brian Redban is in the house and we've been talking about turning your come off with a light switch how's that work it's like a little switch that's in your inner leg or something like that and if you want to make a baby it turns on your or your sperm uh so it's like a sperm switch but they made it look like a light switch instead of having it you know like some weird button or something put it up on the screen again please it's ridic um so it's in between your legs like what if you're jogging does it just go on and off and on and off yeah oh my God it is a light switch come on this isn't real how dare you why am I seeing that guy's dick huge why is he semi big he's semi okay look at this all right so what they're showing us is uh can we hear this is it okay we hear it then combin SE hold hold up I love this guy's accent

01:04please start him from the beginning because it makes it even better he speaks in a slightly broken English every day Andy RoR and his brother in order to begin the medical approval procedure the human males testicles produce millions of sperm cells every day these cells flow through the spermatic ducts and then combin with seminal fluids look at this texture the ball feel like Thomas Edison would be so disappointed if he saw what his technology was being used for now Thomas Edison invented dick switches well like switches I guess did power on and off it's why is it more humorous cuz this gentleman has an accent why would they spend so much time making the texture of the balls in the dick that realistic like cuz they want you to know they're not playing games so this is insane you can feel the switch and you can flip it back and forth that is so crazy and what are the odds that

02:01a girl who wants a baby is not going to reach back and click that switch right while you while she's rubbing your balls and when which is the perfect time to hit the switch if you really wanted to make a baby like he let the release the hounds and when there be com still on the tube you know like the end of the tube like H good question yeah I I think that is uh that's an issue right doesn't it like stay inside your dickle like doesn't all come out one blast and sometimes it can come out in the next blast yeah that what do I know seem fake that's craziness I mean I don't understand if you got an operation to get all that stuff put in just get a vasectomy make a decision stand by it yeah it seems like in America um this this these type of things are becoming more and more attractive to us like an instant solution to like anything that we got going wrong oh we're going to

02:49come up with h new retinas and these retinas they're artificial retinas you put them in your eyes you can see 2200 like or 20 uh what what is what's that's not good like 2200 would be terrible yeah 25 2020 is like normal right right 4020 no that's worse too right no that's isn't that better that's twice I don't think it is I'm not sure I don't think I think it's always been like low numbers are really good like Pilots would say of 2015 Vision see an eagle attacking a salmon from a mile away you know like people are always like super proud of their Vision I have really good Vision like w amazing you see clearly so lower would be better like 420 would be the best 420 no it's too high on one side I don't know it's perfect on one side right 20 is 20 20 20 right what the does that even stand for maybe we should know that it's uh what you see at 20 feet mhm the first 20 is what normal

03:43person Sees at 20 feet and then what you see at 20 feet so you see if you have 2200 you see what a normal person Sees at 200 feet at 20 ft cuz your vision sucks oh okay that makes sense that actually totally makes sense what a drag yeah wof yeah yeah do you have good perfect vision Tony or is my vision is unbelievable I can I can read anything from like it's like insane that's cool it's a lot of fun have you always had that yeah you should probably be really good at like something like darts or something like that maybe yeah I something like I would think that something along those lines where you it'd be like super precise like when you're throwing you like I don't play darts but I would imagine that it's probably pretty fun with all that pressure to get a bullseye it seems kind of silly he's throwing a metal stick at a thing but those dudes seem to be

04:38having a good time I'm a hell of a shot I was a natural with a dart board with with an actual gun with like oh really yeah 20 I shot like discus one time is that what it is what do they call that pigeons pigeons clay pigeons and I was like discus 13 or 14 and I was clipping them and I remember this group of old guys standing behind my mom's boyfriend that took me just like holy I'm terrible with a shotgun I uh I did Bert Cher show we had one of those clay shoot off things I hit like one how do you get good at a shotgun now you practice you just you have to understand how you're orientating the um the site on it it's a little more tricky than like a hunting rifle where the site is magnified with a shotgun for the most part unless it has a scope on it most of the times they don't you're you're using the bar of the gun to line up where the bullets are going to go but any

05:33variation up or down by the slightest amount results in a big deviation of the intended path of the weapon so like if you're trying to shoot straight and your your thing is just it looks kind of at him but not really it'll go over his head so you have to line up this little thing in the front which is like a little tiny like a a nub like a u and then the thing in the back the thing in the back is the the U and you're looking you're trying to line the two of them up so there's like this little V and you're trying to put this pin in between the little V and hold it there as you squeeze the trigger and don't Flinch so it's there's a lot involved in it and it takes practice but once you get it's like anything else like archery or bowling you know once you understand the technique behind it then it's just a matter of drilling it over and over again like you ever see a a really good

06:20bowler like uh AR's friend Tommy what is that guy's name Tommy what the is his name gave he gave me a uh you'll find it right you'll know it he a really good dude whoever that guy is tallino right no no no Tommy Jamie will figure it out let him figure it out we'll we'll we'll talk but um if he taught you how to bowl like if you watch him bowl like those guys they throw like that curve ball where it comes spinning and it smashes into everything like kind of an angle and they can do it consistently over and over and over and over again to the point where they'll like pretty close to perfect games a lot where they'll get like real close to like making eight nine strikes in a row and you're like what the when a guy like you or I I don't know how you bull I bull like just I just roll that thing straight Tommy dutes Tommy dutes great guy by the way super nice guy he's hung out with us a couple

07:21of times and he's a pro bowler so if that guy taught you how to bowl like he could teach you the technique then it would just be a matter of you wanting to to keep working at it whether it's whether it's archery or whether it's darts or anything man it's just about someone showing you how to do it you figure out what's best for you and then numbers that's what that's why people don't like to get good at the numbers involved they're nuts if you want to be a professional golfer do you know what kind of numbers you have to put in good Lord yeah all the practice and all the knocking and then like man this isn't going to work out and okay if you say it's not going to work out and I guess it's not going to work out cuz it worked out for Tiger Woods worked out for Jack Nicholas how come it worked out for them cuz they got nutty cuz someone taught them the the technique they

08:10started to compete and then they got nutty yeah you just got to decide whether or not you want to get nutty and getting nutty is not the best idea in the world either yeah a lot of those guys wind up hitting the Rocks they never stop at the beach just keep that Gast going it's like stand up in a lot of ways yeah I think it's like everything everything that represents you you know you you focus on it and the more you focus on it the better it gets at it and if you don't focus on it it doesn't get better and if you do it does and it's a matter of how much do you want to focus on it where you can enjoy the rest of your life what what percentage of your life does it become it always amazes me that people that get like so great at video games yeah you know you never did you ever meet Robert the dude who was the um old manager at The Comedy Store uh-uh um what was his

08:59job there do you remember he was like Talent was he booking talent I I don't know if he was doing that for a while maybe he was doing that for a while anyway really good guy magic guy right Magic the Gathering he was addicted to that he was addicted to EverQuest I believe at first maybe it was magic The Gather Magic the Gathering is a card game though isn't it it's also a video game it's video game too um I'm pretty sure he was an EverQuest junkie bad man like bad and he would come to The Comedy Store and he would be depressed like he would get out of his house when he could and when he could he would come out and hang out with us in the real world I'll never forget this we were in the back bar and it was just me and him and uh you know it was uh you know the back bar are just we a lot of times comedians gathered there and talk and he just goes it's just so weird that I can be so good

09:49at making money in my online life and so bad at it in my real life he goes I'm so good at being successful in this artificial life but I can't get it together in my real life and he was tired and he looked pale and I'm like this is a great guy he was like a really nice guy I'm like man like this game is like a vampire he was making money on it no you make money in the game like you make like gold coin so you can buy magic and yeah yeah is that how it works am I saying that right yeah sure yeah you level up the more you play so he was like king of them Kings you know he had like a crazy player and everything like that King of Kings well when you get really good right in EverQuest like the higher you get the more you can people up you can do whatever you want right you just become like Invincible you can become a God if you're onun that 24 hours a day for 10 years no one can with you they

10:39just can't with you isn't that how World World of Warcraft is MHM they're encouraging addiction it's so obvious it's so obvious they're they're they're it's very clever but this is a money vampire oh yeah they figured out a really entertaining money vampire just sucks it out of you oh yeah South Park did one on it and it's just like un believably hilarious you know what's interesting the the concept that you can get better at it the more time you put in it because you get more stuff like that's a really weird concept because that's not how it is in any other game in any in any other game what's cool about playing Quake right I I hate to harp on Quake all the time but I used to love playing it um was that you both start out like if you guys were going to have a death match You' both start out with 150 life points the same amount of uh access to weapons you know you have

11:29like a little pistol like you have a a little Blaster and then you run around the map to try to find where the other weapons are so you have to know the map you have to know where the weapons are and when they spawn because they spawn in in increments like every 15 20 seconds or something I forget what it is maybe a minute for some weapons maybe some weapon spawned differently so these guys had programs in their code where it would alert them when uh the rocket launcher was about spawn so they had it like timed into their their code so they would receive little messages up on on their screen that would let them know that rocket launchers are about to spawn so they'd run to get to the rocket launcher cuz he who gets a rocket launcher first most likely wins the death match because these guys know the maps and they start blasting each other well then everybody starts even

12:13everybody starts even it's that's what's exciting about it it's a mad scramble if you got to a point where you could just people up and turn their cities into dust and bring down fire and brimstone that's too much everybody's got to be even otherwise your game's you just got a a giant addiction thing going you got an addiction pyramid scheme going on right and you're talking to yourself in third person as if it wasn't you that did all this well sort of but I'm thinking about Robert because I'm thinking about the game of um EverQuest and this this that's a way more addictive um element like the element of the longer you do it the more power you have and the more you you can accomplish the more dragons you can slay and what have you what I was into was uh these crazy one-on-one death matches they were so fun and I I was never good at them man I used to get up like it wasn't a matter of

13:08like me being successful at Quake It was the opposite like I could never catch up like I could be able to beat dudes who were clueless if some dude was clueless and he got into uh one of those maps with me I could him up but most of the time I got up most of the time you're getting up with these young kids were so good their hand eye coordination is like it's design Mind through the game because as they were as they were children they're using a mouse and keyboard as their little brains were forming connections with their fingertips a lot of what involved moving a mouse OB plays one of these right does he yeah he's like on uh what's one of those like Halo or something like that what's one of those popular ones Halo very popular Halo Call of Duty I think it might be but he like plays it so I always think that that's like so crazy to think that Obama is

13:58sometimes just chilling just getting lit up by like some seven-year-old kid you know what I mean Obama plays Titanfall Titan oh Xbox one it's a it's it's similar to Call of Duty whatever same kind so is it a war game it's you're in mechs so you're like running around and you can jump into big uh machines the game like Transformers wow that's wild who would have ever thought that so this is like that movie with Wolverine yeah yeah yeah kind of his name what's the Wolverine guy's name Hugh Jackman M Australian isn't that amazing like he hides his acent so well it's always weird one of those guys talks in their regular accent like whoa whoa whoa whoa like did you ever watch Homeland there's a guy named Brody who's in Homeland and he plays a dude who was kidnapped and tortured uh by uh the terrorists then he comes back to America and he's like kind of like uh you know he's like acting as

14:54a pawn for the terrorist it's like it's very f crazy but he sounds like a like a regular almost like a southern American like a Texan like a slight Texas Accent on the show and then in real life he talks with like this crazy English accent and you hear him talk and you can't believe it's the same man one of my favorite actors right now who I'm like obsessed with because I saw him on this show bloodline have you heard of this show bloodline what's that bloodline is a Netflix original series that came out like six months ago and it's basically about like this Rich family that takes a vacation they like have this vacation in Hawaii and they all get together and just goes down with this family and they're all and like you don't know who's covering up what and it's just all these diabolical characters anyway there's this guy named Ben Mendelson who is a monster he's one

15:46of those guys that's just so compelling to watch like his face is always moving he plays like a bad guy in everything and uh I watch like six seven of his movies going back and they're all amazing he's one of these like real actors and then I real I found out that he's just Australian and but complete Australian dude total Australian accent and he was my favorite American actor up until I found out he's from Australia there's a lot of killer actress from Australia yeah Russell Crow's from Australia right isn't he yeah that guy there that's monster I think of how many Australian accents Mel Gibson Australian think of how many of those guys yeah what's Tom Hardy English yeah English Tom Hardy's a badass he's a bad there's so many of them from over there it's incredible sometimes I don't even realize I was watching a Tom Hardy movie until the end of the movie and his name comes up and

16:41I'm like who was Tom oh my God he was the main character of the whole time like he has some he's another one one of the only other guys it's funny bring him up because he's another one where I literally will look up their name yeah and be because you can some of these guys you can they re actually read the scripts and pick the things that they want to do well he can at this point right yeah yeah he's a bad mhm that guy can act his ass off sometimes he's like a ripped monster like in Mad Max and then sometimes he's built like me in these movies and it's like how the hell like he he's one of those guys that cuts weight and puts it on and really gets in a character he plays uh I can't remember the name of it but one of these things he's he's a twin so he's playing the two lead characters cuz he's it's him and his twin the entire time yeah he's playing the the

17:28cray brother right remember that movie The Craze that uh was out a long time ago was basically on the same Brothers there two brothers who were into organized crime in England they're legendary and he's playing both of them the last time they did I think they had two actual twins in the last version of it which is probably they had to settle for whatever actors they could get that were twins yeah Tom Hardy is one of these guys that I didn't even know about until my girlfriend who's like a huge movie buff kept showing me movies like and she's she would always talk about like how hot he is and this like she's just like this guy's amazing and I'm like you're just making me watch these Tom Hardy movies cuz you have a crush on them and sure enough this won me over like big time that's when you know he's good right to where you're like oh you know what it's great man it my

18:21girlfriend how many guys do you think have ever played themselves in a movie like side by side like twins like that so you're playing like what I want to know is does he get paid double for that you know it's that that only seems fair right well he's got to be getting a shitload of money for this because that's half of the the movie is seeing if they can pull that off right cuz you're dealing with CGI they're combining somehow or another I don't know how they're doing it I would imagine what they can do now and this is just my guess is that you can get a guy like you and you and Brian could have like a tussle and as long as you were the same side you could superimpose his features on you there's a way they could do that with CGI well what's interesting is that if the camera was locked off then up until I'm sure this movie it's not locked off on everything what does that

19:13mean locked off you know like completely not moving stabilized like then it it was always easier to do that I think you know the CGI type of things where you can put somebody into things but this is like a real movie with real dialogue think I think they're doing it all with computers now ex I think that if but he's got to act both sides of it right so he's got to somehow or another act both sides of it and he has to I mean I'm only assuming if he's physically in contact with someone they would have to somehow or another get him to act out those scenes and replace his face on the other person's body or something they they just do like if they're doing a tussle they're just doing the thing where like you know it's just the back of a head and then they just flip you know when they're roll around where it's like a smaller weird creepy version of them that they're I did it with that

19:59Pepsi Spice commercial where I just pretty much recorded the same two things and then just split it right down the middle that's right I forgot about and this was like 15 years ago I did this yeah these are hilarious myself this looks exactly like the commercial for the Tom Hardy movie that I was talking about this is hilarious I forgot about this the next morning and look I even put down the coffee cup and then I grabbed the coffee cup look at that boom that's actually cool dude that was one of your finest Min hours the Pepsi spice days and I did that on paintbrush but what would you do if you had to have like a confrontation does he have a confrontation with his brother I assume he does probably that's the only thing that I would think would be the the issue was like you fighting with you because that'd be really hard to mesh together but otherwise if it's just you

20:53in a separate scene or you in a scene with two of you you just have to do the scene twice but still they have to combine it to move you have to do one and then probably they play back your thing yeah when you're talking to it but God you ever seen Bronson yes amazing amazing yeah yeah I saw that he was really good in that he's good in everything he's just one of those guys he just knows how to just knows how to do it yeah yeah it's a weird type of um like uh respect we have for for people also that come from other countries I mean Americans love Americans but we also hold people from other countries if you have an English accent we'll cut you a lot of slack oh my God more than ever can I tell you something oh my God no this has been infuriating me lately it's everybody they're everywhere there's British accents everywhere everywhere every show cuz I only watch

21:56normal TV when I'm at a hotel and I've been on the road a lot lately so I've been stuck watching commercials for the first time and anyway every I watch first world problems I I watched this James cordin or whatever Corbin yeah he's he's the guy that just took over for Craig Ferguson oh who also had an accent everybody has an accent now yeah on everything didn't you think Craig Ferguson was good though I liked Craig Ferguson thought he was really good totally good he brought a different element when it was the Britney Spear thing when that Britney Spears thing was going on and she was shaving her head and he was like why are we doing this like why why would we like attack this girl and I think in a lot of ways like his like sort of reasonable approach to addressing the subject instead of like cracking jokes about it when it was like she was shaving her head and it's like

22:48you're you're looking at a person that's having some some serious stress and mental problems probably and all we're doing is just piling on to that and he made this like re really reasonable measured plea and I remember thinking like wow that was a genuine thing like that wasn't uh that didn't seem like some um a fake pumped up PR move to try to get people to view him a different way it seemed very genuine and um unfortunately Britney Spears wasn't watching Craig Ferguson so the message never got through you know people did leave her alone they kind of leave her alone now but she was obviously having some sort of a breakdown yeah it was something going on it was she was and I don't know if anybody could ever be expected to respond well to the kind of stress that someone in her position endures she's like some stupid crazy Superstar like a Beyonce type character

23:42or Jay-Z like that kind of stress level's got to be insane yeah she's calmed down a lot right she does that thing in uh Vegas now she does like a Vegas show did you were you a fan of Craig uh Ferguson show he's good do you know the the robot the guy the guy that played the robot in his name is Josh Robert Thompson and uh he played the robot for whatever 11 years on that show or however long that show is and he kind of got screwed by the show because no one knows who he was they never said hey by the way this is him so this guy he's on Periscope all the time really interesting guy uh check him out he's just really he kind of what's his name again it's really sad though his name's Josh Robert Thompson and it's just like imagine being on a Tonight Show where no one knew who you were the whole time right so does does he just complain about this on his pariscope no I mean he

24:35I mean he he he does seem like he's always getting screwed like he made he just released this new video the other day with George Lucas and it has our friend uh what's the guy with the really built body uh uh that used to be a writer on that show uh he's been on kill Tony before uh I can't really good body remember he always takes off his shirt and like a like a six-pack uh oh Bob oh yeah boback so Bob oack did a video with uh I never thought you were talking about Bob oack gay porn star That's infiltrated The Comedy Store I'm preparing myself for future encounters like what is going on this is what Brian considers a guy with a good body Bob have you seen b he's very fit he works out he's very healthy it's ridiculous bobach might be the nicest guy that's ever lived oh totally if he's not the nicest he's in the top 10 of like nicest people of all time I love him and but anyways he made

25:30a video with uh Josh Robert Thompson where they Josh Robert Thompson played George Lucas after you know on his Ranch and he looks just like uh George Lucas so wow fun little oh yeah I think I saw some of that yeah D dude he's a funny guy Bob oack I love him yeah one of the best he should be doing a podcast I I was supposed to start mine with him he was going to be my co-host and then I decided not to have a co-host at the last second he he also was really busy you don't it's not like you have 50 different things you have to do all day long you could do another podcast once a week with him he's a great guy too or he could do one on his own too one of the best he's a great guy he's such a good dude yeah unkill Tony yeah he sharp and he's such a he just loves joke writing so much yeah he does and so when these guys come in with a premise or whatever he'll just go you know if you go B and B

26:23the crowd that already heard that premise and punchline but it's all restructured he just repeats it back cuz he has that math brain that's just like yeah one of the notoriously like one of the most respected comedy writers around town and the in the writing gigs that I've done he's come up in every writer's room and everybody in the around the table that are working together always ends up talking about where and when they worked with Bob oek and how cool and nice he is that's awesome that's so good to hear he's always always a good you say good stomach sixpack yeah it always organically happens way better than that Maguire stomach have you SE Maguire Chris McGuire who Chris McGuire oh Chris McGuire stomach how's that I've never seen Chris CH seems like he's a normal guy the only one I ever seen how do you get a Chris Maguire stomach reference like that might be the most

27:15difficult to put your head around CU if you don't know Chris McGuire is funny standup comedian he's not doesn't have like an unusual stomach it's a normal he looks like a normal guy yeah if he's standing there stupid like to be sure that that was his like if you had like if you saw Joey Diaz's stomach and like a side view you're like yeah that looks like about right that's about Joey you if you saw a silhouette and someone said whose stomach is that you wouldn't go Tony Hinchcliffe right you know but Chris Maguire man it could be it could be Jamie it could be Chris Maguire now I want to know now I want to see it I wish youal I want to see your dick I want to see your dick let me see yeah he's um he's a great guy too Chris McGuire him Greg fit Simmons and I started out like within a of each other that's so crazy yeah it's interesting it's interesting all these years later I

28:03have that same thing with a few guys and it's amazing because there's definitely like a special bond that happens when you know that you start around the same time yeah for sure yeah and you've known each other through the whole process of being horrible totally incompetent but just Starry Eyed for the the idea of being a comic and chasing these dreams together and there's nothing more fun than when you see one of those guys doing something cool yeah well it's cool just seeing Comics do something cool and we all been talking about this at the store lately that this is one of the things about this generation and this uh this era as it were is that a good thing to say this era of Comedy but this time is that people like Comics are real supportive of each other and I don't think that ever existed before there wasn't like a bunch of comics promoting each other on

28:52shows like the way people are now I it didn't really exist before because there was so few spots like if you got on TV you had to covet it you had to this is mine it was like this famine mentality but now that a lot of what we're doing is internet driven whether it's your Netflix special which comes out this Friday January 8 18th 15th 15th January 15th uh one shot it's available this Friday um whether it's stuff like that which is internet based and which is almost all of the specials that you're hearing about now are these internet based specials and television shows that are internet based I mean Netflix is just they have so much programming now there's so many different things that you can watch that are internet-based that I think Comics have like most of us have gotten to podcasts a giant amount of us and you realize like this is way more fun and way easier

29:45to do than a television show yeah and through that everybody says yeah you should do it too and you should do it too and they all do it together and you develop this weird Network and this is like a network of of supporters so I think when we all see someone who's doing really good you know it's uh it's interesting it's interesting to watch it's like ooh it's happening again yeah you know it's amazing Brian your new podcast it was in the top 15 yeah it got down to seven at one point really that's amazing Sage Francis is really amazing we had him on the second episode great that's awesome dude I'm so glad you decided to do it too cuz you you know you have a very unusual sense of humor that a lot of people like it's like trying to find the right vehicle for it it's like I think the right vehicle for you is just do your own thing do your own thing and when you do do it it's uh

30:35it's fun cuz you you get to be free you get to be you you know you're just such a silly Weirdo And I'm trying to lose 40 lbs in uh 3 months the first uh 3 months of the episode so I weigh in every episode and today I weighed in uh 14 lbs less since January 1st wow that's awesome man I love doing these with you too I mean it's always fun we always have a good time it's always silly but I'm really glad you're doing your own as well because I think that it's going to be I think it's going to be real successful it's going to be and it's it's all it's it's something that you can pursue and like you could say I want to talk to this interesting person I want to talk to this cool guy like maybe I can get him on my podcast and then all a sudden you get him and you're sitting there talking to this person and as a per as a human being like if you're allowed to pursue your interest like

31:23that it's it's very enriching and I think what the audience gets out of it and that's such a pompous word but that is what it's like it's like enriching and what the audience gets out of it it's like they get to go on this like really cool adventure with you and some of the best aspects of the adventure like having conversations with these cool and funny and interesting people they get to be in on them they get to sit there and and be a part of like your little Adventure through choosing your interest and so that's what I think everybody should every like comic who has any interest in it whatsoever should have a podcast cuz you get to see them go down their little the adventure of their interests you know like if you listen to Bill Burr's podcast like I don't pay attention to football it's the only part I can't listen to when he starts talking about

32:08football and they should have done this and the defense was that I don't because he's a football fanatic but the rest of it is just bill talking about how he's living his life and how he's going through his life and it's it's really interesting it's really interesting to follow someone follow their interests follow like what make what's what's Curious to them like when you don't have any other agenda like when your agenda isn't man what I we need to get good ratings so we're going to need to get some people in here that are doing some things that people are aware of which is how you think of like every other talk show right they all become almost generic in a way because even like Letterman who is like fiercely independent very smart and just overly critical of like shitty stuff and a smart guy like didn't like his own stuff half the time he would do his own show

32:56and it would be brilliant he' be be like I hate myself like he was he was crazy like that right that was like the thing about Letterman but who did he have on a show he like regular people man who's selling a movie who's selling a song who's selling a this who's got a TV show and it's the same thing and so Dave would have humorous uh conversations with these people and say funny stuff but the bottom line is that's not who he chooses that's not what he wants to do right if he if you could say all cost aside all consideration of ratings aside who would you want to talk to Dave then you would get a chance to see but the way the system is set up even though it's a fantastic system if it works out and you get something like the Jimmy Fallon Tonight Show which I think is excellent I think Jimmy Fallon's the best Tonight Show guy ever I have a showcase for it

33:42tonight I think he's the best yeah he's great I have I I I can't talk about anything that I've been working on that's what's funny though I have this brand new uh 15minute chunk that I'm just in love with right now like it's just expanding and breathing and I'm talking about crazy crazy but I thought I was thinking about it on the way here cuz I just got the call my manager's like hey are you available to do a Tonight Show showcase tonight and I'm literally like yeah heck yeah BL BL and I get off the phone and I start thinking about everything I've been working out and I know for a fact I can't do any of it not a single bit that sucks I know that feeling like you get these new weapons oh yeah and they're right there and I know I would kill harder than anybody else on this I don't even know who's on it but I just know like how I feel about my material right

34:28now is like I'm in like Championship mode and uh with this new stuff though that's what's crazy is like I'm going to have to really figure out and fin angle something because well look look at it this way think of The Tonight Show with no censorship think of The Tonight Show on Netflix how good would that show be totally how good would that show be if someone like Jamie Fox could go on and sit next to the couch and say whatever the he wants you know someone like Mike Tyson swearing you know some why did I go with two black people I love your Jamie Fox love I love that guy I think Jamie Fox is amazing if you heard his interview with Tim Ferris you would you would look at him in a different light like I've always thought he was insanely talented like the fact that he could play Ray Charles and then he played that um the guy with mental illness that was a homeless guy was a

35:17musician and the Robert Downey Jr movie and he can act his and he's singing and right and Jango Unchained I mean unbelievable when you uh you listen to his the way he talks to Tim Ferris you kind of get an understanding of why he's the way he is just a bad just a super talented super super sharp thinking dude interesting I I love that guys like that exist you know like you don't necessarily want to do what they're doing but just knowing that there's people like that that exist you're like wow yeah real rock stars mhm dudes are just they're operating on a super high level with a lot lot of different things like Jamie Fox can sing his ass off yeah like he sings really good totally it's insane like he could have he could just do he could do any one of those careers regularly I know it's interesting right it's interesting I don't know how much standup he does

36:13anymore though I don't know I think you got to doing too many different things stand Up's definitely one of those things where yeah you got to be doing just that yeah yeah got to work it if you're not doing it if you're not doing it all the time boy it gets slippery huh yeah I just took uh four nights off in a row for the first time in like forever four nights in a row how' you feel I felt I came back crushing you think it was reinvigorating animalistic I just saw I was I remember it was last night I was my first spot in four nights and I'm just standing in the back of the room with just like I was like I'm crazy you know what I mean I just love that you're crazy you're so silly you're crazy but literally like I go up there and uh it was at the Irvine Improv it was insane this lady stood up during my set at one point cuz I'm talking about this one part of one thing where I talk about how

37:09Trump's GNA win this and here's why you know what I mean and basically like this lady stands up and you can tell that I'm a comedian on a stage and everybody else could but this one lady out of 200 stands up and starts waving her arms and she's like stop stop stop stop I'm like oh but I'm still like staying in the pocket going with the joke but for another like 10 seconds but she's still like stop stop and it's my jokes were killing so I'm like you so I bailed out and I go what the is your problem lady what is so what's going on she's like Donald Trump will never be our president oh my God I'm like what makes your opinion so big that you're talking and none of these other 200 people are yelling right now I go what the makes your vote such a big deal what do you do for a living and she goes well basically I'm I go what the do you do for a living Crow's just going crazy she goes well

38:07right now I'm unemployed I go then your vote doesn't even matter you're not even paying taxes wow how rude it was this whole crazy thing but she ended up leaving of course she should have been kicked out you can't just stand up and interrupt a bit in the middle of the bit that's like you stand up in a movie and say don't kill H solo you don't do it right you don't do it you can't it's it's so stupid stupid she was flipping me off it was so great I was just destroying her her entire long walk out of the Irvine Improv it's a long walk too yeah dude come on so much fun people need to stop hecklers need to just not ever go see shows they need to stop wrong guy when you make that hour drive to Irvine it's just they don't know man I think people they just don't know how ridiculous that is yeah you know just don't think think they realize that it's you're in the

39:02middle of this peace and this piece has a lot of places that it has to go to you have to go left and you have to go right and you have to trick them a little bit and then you bring it home at the end and this woman is like in the middle of this thing screaming out and it's interesting because I'm I never and I've tried here and there with jokes over you know the8 years of doing this but I'm never really uh a political guy but with this new I election thing that I'm doing right now I feel like really good about it but it's amazing how the different reactions that you get around the country doing this stuff this is a charged subject man it's a Charged subject in a weird time this is probably the weirdest election ever because this is the only election I can ever remember where there's only one candidate that his supporters are really excited about him and then there's a a

39:56bunch of other people like man I don't know I don't know I mean like Bry Sanders seems like a really nice guy you know I mean he doesn't seem evil at all right I mean maybe he's the best of all the choices available except for people make money I'd love it got in I'd love it if he just interesting won the election and was just like oh I was just with you guys the whole time I'm a I'm an old white man go yourselves back to the old system you know well um I don't think he would survive I mean he already looked looks like he's done a few terms you know what I mean like he does right all these other presidents go in there looking good you know dark brown hair and then they all come out looking like like uh what's his name FU who we're talking about Obama look at Obama now we've we've shown side by- side images of him from 2009 to 2015 it's crazy he looks

40:49like he's aged like 20 plus years yeah easily it's a hard job man I don't think anybody can do it I think at one point in time we're going to realize that the idea that we keep clinging to of a single guy that's in charge of the whole country is stupid mhm doesn't make any sense like why would you have one person be in charge of anything why not have like a gig gigantic team of people and why not have the influence of the public on a daily basis be tuned in to this gigantic group of people with of course reasonable filters for um hysterics when something crazy happens and all of a sudden people want to Nuke you know some country or something like that and for that system to change what's amazing is like I think that we would have to have basically a trump as a president for people to really have a discussion over four years about how things have to change because of you know and depends

41:43on how he does at the same time well there's some of the things he says like I actually can like the other day I don't know I was just walking out of a hotel and the News was on the TV and it says you know Trump says that Germany terrorist attack attacks are because they let those people in mhm that's all that I saw and first I'm like yeah what an idiotic thing to say and then I thought about it and it's like well they did let what like a million people in or something crazy well there's a real issue in Germany yeah and the the mayor of cologne which is and in this insane move was telling women how they should behave around these men and that they should stay within arms length it's crazy it's victim blaming I mean they're resorting to victim blaming to try to take Focus away from the fact that what they've done is they've let in a bunch of people from another culture

42:38who behave differently mhm it's maybe not their fault maybe let's look at it this way this is the way they lived in their other country they're coming into your country they're going to behave the way they've behaved all 37 years of their life yeah cuz that's what they do and so now you have to deal with that in your culture and the way to to deal with it is not to say women should stay arms length away from these people it's to educate these people about the the rules of this place you can't do that you can't just sexually assault women they could girls could dress however the they want and you can't tell those girls now you're on your own you just have to stay arms length away from somebody you can't because everybody's so scared of being racist everybody's so scared of being islamophobic that they don't want to point out forget about ideologies what

43:23you're or forget about skin color people of origin you have some some people that are doing something that's not good to some people that haven't had these things done to them like this before you got to figure out what to do you got you let in a different culture it's not it's not their fault but it is it is what it is you know what I'm saying I mean it's not you can't deny that it exists it is it is a thing and uh there's a lot of people uh that were are pointing to they're pointing to letting people like that in this country and they're saying well you know what are we going to do what are we going to do if Syrian refugees uh Coming to America are we just going to invite a million Syrian refugees in America and if you look at the history of America that's what people have always done we've always let in people from other countries are trying to get away I me that's how this

44:11country got founded so ideally we'd all want to say yeah these are the people that are running away from the people that are doing terrible things to them but you're going to get some you're definitely going to get some so how do you deal with that that's a good question I don't think that's a question for one person I mean even one person in a cabinet and one person has like veto power and what man I think there should be a team of phds and super smart with who who get evaluated on a regular basis for ego problems alcoholism all the above I mean you should have if you're you're testing mixed martial arts Fighters see if they're on steroids you should be testing congressmen and Senators see if they're crazy right see if the what what are they on you know what kind of anti-depressants are you on that's affecting your judgment what you know how often do you take vum how often do

45:00you take ambient to go to sleep what do you what happens you lose a sleep cycle there or something is there some wacky nonsleep that's going on when you're ambient out of your head oh yeah Viagra these congressmen what are they doing with blood Tony rushing down what are they doing with the Myra Tony making their wieners bigger wow are you sure yeah I think Jesus yeah congressmen and senators and representatives state representatives this is a representative government it's all a PO weird popularity contest like Arnold schwarzeneger was the governor like that doesn't make he's a good choice any sense but it does he's a fiscally conservative guy who's open-minded in a sense of like socially open-minded like in terms of uh how he views uh gay people and and even recreational drug use and things along those lines is very open-minded almost like with a Libertarian bent but a

45:59republican so it actually he wasn't a bad choice he didn't do a great job but guess what you're dealing with a bunch of A bunch of red tape and and if you ever hear him describe his time in office it's pretty interesting stuff like you don't realize I think from the outside like someone like you or I who have zero political aspirations or motivations or once you get in man you're dealing with this like insane system of like how things get done and how people will filibuster and people will block this because it'll anger their constituents because these people are paying for that and these people are paying you to make sure that this doesn't pass through cuz that'll get that through you watch House of Cards yeah I just started oh my God great my favorite thing I don't know how accurate it is but if it's even 10% we're doomed yeah exactly if it's even 10% it's a great show though yeah

46:52Kevin Spacey's a bad yeah I love it when he looks at the camera and just starts talking yeah he's another one he's a different guy in this he's a different guy in this show with a very distinct accent and you buy it you're not going like that's Kevin spy right it's he just becomes that person he becomes another person Frank Underwood what's going on with that shirt Brian what is that what oh the security guard shirt is that what it is yeah I got a thrift store it's funny when I wear it cuz like I like I'm went to Starbucks and like Mexicans gave me double looks real quick it was pretty funny they thought you were secur how rude that's so ra but it happened twice today it happened twice when why is it that they chose a blue color with like a dark blue pocket thing for security that's Universal it looks like he got his his his badge ripped off him cuz it's all violent

47:42struggle maybe he did it himself when he quit his job yeah that's what you want to do when you quit the sheriff's department right you pull that star off and you throw it on the ground I'm done do you you've watched making a murderer right I have not watched making a murderer wow I know I keep hearing it wow I watch soaked and bleach yeah that's good yeah yeah drop it I say what you think about that soaked and bleach yeah like yeah wo um there's a lot in that movie man it's that's the movie that alleges that Courtney Love was involved in some way in Kirk Cain's death it's too long of a movie but yeah it's too long yeah if you watch the other movie and then watch that movie which movie the the the official one with that his daughter made Francis uh what is it called again Montage Montage yeah that's the HBO one right that that's that seems more like closer to

48:32what I think really happened you know I didn't see that just drugs and and and it doesn't make Courtney look like she's murdering it just looks like he wanted to kill himself the whole time and he put it in his lyrics he wrote about it he he was you know it was like it was going to happen I mean that's what that movie uh made it seem more like it's so hard to decipher when someone's gone what they were what they actually thought and what they actually like cuz when you put it through the filter of what we know about how we describe other people and might be off about something or how people describe the past and they try to idealize certain aspects of it like if it was made by his daughter she wasn't alive when he was doing that so she's getting it from other people who were there who you know he's getting it from her own his own joural music and journals it has home movies and it has

49:23everything in it like that it's pretty much I I believe that Montage of heck is like a documentary about Kurt Cobain and Soaked in Bleach is a documentary about the possibility of Courtney killing him yeah and I'll tell you this is that no matter what happened it's unbelievable how bad the Seattle police department dropped the ball on that to walk in on some guy K that just killed himself that's worth God only knows what I mean I don't even know if they say during that but you know his collection has to be worth what at least $100 million or something crazy well just a a bad Police Department yeah it was just what it was is a high-profile case in a bad police department but now imagine that they had probably been running that police department in a shitty way for as long as that guy had been running it because as long as you're a regular person that doesn't have the Public's eye paying

50:14attention to the case with extreme scrutiny and again this is in 1994 right you know today it would be a different animal today it would be in social media and it would blow up and it'd be gigantic it'd be way more scrutiny but back then they could kind of consolidate everything they could compartmentalize everything and they just the whole thing up they their their their accounts differed from the First Responders accounts their description of the room differed there's so much of it that was off it was that they they're terrible you know and it was just they had never done a high-profile case so their their terrible police work hadn't been revealed to anybody that wasn't like the victim of it you know someone who I mean I'm assuming that if they up this case he probably up other ones as well you're going to yourself when you watch the show man you should just cut all the shows

50:59off right now and just watch the first episode and you willing a murderer yeah you will go crazy you'll you will I keep hearing you'll have podcast scared I'm scared to dive deep into this guy poor guy's life it's crazy it's unbelievable hey man police officers are people that's it there's going to be real good ones and real bad ones there's no no doubt about it and just because you get through the Academy tests and get into the uh position it doesn't mean mean you've got your together or you're worthy it just means you didn't up yet and just because you're a cop doesn't mean you're a bad person there's a lot of cops that are awesome they're great people and that's a job that they think is it's it's important it's a job that they think is very beneficial to our society and uh they do it the best they can and those people are important those people are the ones that get overlooked and

51:47when you see terrible cops doing terrible things those are terrible when you see terrible people doing terrible things do you give up on people do you say man I hate people now some guy just stomped a kitten to death on a YouTube video I hate people I hate people I can't I I don't want to talk to anybody anymore that's ridiculous cuz most of us would never do that and I think that's the same thing with cops there's a lot of cops and they're dealing with a lot of interactions every day every day all day long you're dealing with people stealing things people doing things to people and people who might do things to you and they're they're just overwhelmed with stress all the time especially now that the media is coming out of hard oh God and a l I just spent a couple days on a top secret project but with cops and uh it is it I learned so much you learn a lot

52:36immediately about the current perception like you know they're very you know defensive and it's it's incredible to watch but like so it got me more into like I've been watching a lot of these police shootings and things there's not many where you know if you're going for a gun like if you have your hand in your pocket they're like take your hand out of your pocket you have to take your hand out of your pocket I don't I don't have any sympathy for anyone who doesn't do that immediately and I get it there's like mental health issues and stuff and I think that's the exception to it and yeah sometimes it's totally like you said incident to incident but the media really really messed up the cops man everybody's on edge with them right now and it well wait how can you say the media mess them up when there's all these videos of cops shooting people for no reason doing terrible like

53:26planting evidence that guy that throws the taser down when he shoots that guy who's running away from him there's a lot of like really hardcore video evidence of cops doing terrible things I think they just have to look at it in a balanced perspective the media is not doing anything wrong by reporting these things they're making those cops accountable right but I think what we have to be really careful is blaming all cops exactly and I and I think that's where like the media makes it a little bit blander than just the specific guy they they use the word police instead of officer blah blah blah well how about this like if if you saw something and you saw a cop like on a in a YouTube video do something and he did something terrible when you see another cop that guy is you're not in the same city you don't even know this guy this guy's just a person you don't you don't make him

54:12responsible for something that some guy did in North Carolina but kind of people do kind of people do if you go and watch some YouTube video of some cop doing some horrible in the Oakland Subway and then all a sudden you're in Downtown LA and some cop looks at you funny like you pig you know like you hate that guy because of something that someone else did that's in his organization that he most likely's never met in his life imagine if we did that with people imagine if some person did something up in New York and you're down in Florida and you're like piece of and this guy's like what are you talking about I know what you are man you're a person you're a regular dude with a dick and you I know what that guy did in New York and you're just like him like what this one cop told me you know like a kid ran up to him the other day like he's walking down a sidewalk or at whatever

54:58dut shop or somewhere and like a little kid walks up and he like hey you know hi Mr Officer like a little like you know three or four year-old and some lady walks over and she's she grabs her little boy and is like no you stay away from these you know murders like that really and had an in-depth talk with this police officer and it's like not only is that terrible that they're being called a murder but imagine the feeling of like knowing that that's the Next Generation and that's the type of you know things that they're being taught about police officers right now I think that there's two ways I look at it I think in one way I look at it that the police are necessary and that we need police because we we have too much crime and we have too much violence and it's just it's the way it is now it's like they're our Shield that protects us from bad people but another part of me looks

55:53at it and says that the dynamic of a person in control with ultimate lethal power and then everyone else around them is a bad Dynamic it's not an it's it the dynamic in and of itself can create conflict because there's always going to be resistance to this idea of someone who lives amongst you who has ultimate power over you and who if the chips go down the wrong way they might shoot you and kill you and they can get away with that and they can say you attack them or you were reaching for something they thought was a gun who knows what kind of personal Vendetta they might have against you who knows what kind of stress that they might have been under when they pulled the trigger but they could do it to you they're allowed to have a gun on them and you you can't even if you're a guy who's never done anything wrong and you're walking around you're going to feel

56:43weird around cops like you you'll maybe you respect them intellectually you'll say thank you for your service I appreciate everything you guys are doing stay safe but in the back of your head you know that if things got ugly they could shoot you like if somehow or another you got in an altercation with them you you you go towards them and you're in somehow or another way threatening or physical they'll gun you down you know they'll gun your dog down if your dog starts running at them and barking we've seen videos of that adrenaline man that that really just puts a blanket on your head that's like when you say uh when people say you know get your hand out of your pocket man that guy's adrenaline's overtaken his body to the point he doesn't understand words man I got robbed I had no idea what was going on exactly exactly that's a real good point it's a real good point

57:30as far as the people they pull over mhm when you get uh dude I got adrenaline yeah and I I feel like I'm Shady when the cop comes up and there's like nothing even going you know what I mean I'm just like and all of a sudden I'll be like turning down the radio and they're like take your hand out of the middle there put your hand on the I'm like oh God and then my like hands go up you know what I mean instead I I said the steering wheel you know it's like I haven't even seen this guy yet and I'm yeah yeah it is it's really it just takes over everything yeah and imagine you know you you pull someone over and there's some Brock Lesnar looking sitting in the driver's seat and he doesn't want to make eye contact to you and says what did I do wrong officer and you're like oh yeah oh Jesus have a nice day sir do you know if this guy gets out of the truck he's just going to literally rip you to

58:17pieces or he might pull out a machine gun under his car seat start gunning you down who knows who knows when you're pulling some guy over you don't know if he's got a a body in the trunk you don't know if he's got a 100 kilos of cocaine in his spare tire you don't know how much 100 that seem like a lot 100 kilos like 220 lb or something like that 220 100 kilos of acid paper acid oh my God that's enough acid to kill the world right but you don't know man you pull somebody over even a woman she could be some crazy that just got done uh killing her entire uh family and he's she's driving to her mom's house to kill her too did you see the video that was released like two days ago from Boston of a guy recording his ex-girlfriend uh just breaking his windows scratching his car then he goes outside to be like look look what she did she like crushed my bumper and then out of nowhere like she

59:11just comes from behind going like 50 m hour and hit with his car no he misses just by an inch but it hits his car and if Jamie could pull up that video you will freak I mean the the anger of this crazy woman and that right there she's uh supposedly has already gone to court twice and uh said that he has hit her and done all the but just watching this video go oh no look at this poor guy what he's dealing with that that guy needs to get one of those that guy needs to get one of those sperm switches make sure he doesn't knocked up yeah he will wind up her again if she's that crazy you know what kind of she must be throwing around oh yeah yeah just liquid Thunder she must she's been wrecking that dude oh yeah God and yeah he couldn't leave his house he just had to he was like hit like it was scary being in that situation cuz she seemed like she would pull out a gun

60:00and just start shooting him or well anybody try to hit you with a car right that's uh that you might as well be shooting at me right trying to hit someone with a car that's death oh yeah okay let's give give us some volume young Jamie this is what he he's showing what she did just ke the side of my car actually just got painted over L as watch this oh J my God oh my just did that God she's got a Mercedes and what does he have a Honda he she tried to hit him yeah dude she just tried to hit him with the car and then if you saw the beginning of it she was outside just smashing windows and stuff but dude he didn't even know she was coming no he wasn't even looking and she almost killed him oh she's coming back she's yeah she's coming back way oh my God knocked my vehicle into my neighbor's vehicle this now she reversing is crazy Back That Ass Up who who what is she going to do and

60:59I'm going inside because I want to avoid any further issues she rammed okay I think she's going to finish up her Mercedes into his Honda think she's finishing up on the car you going to treat me after all the I've done for you this is how you treat me right oh my God she's coming out with a a crowbar broke his back now she has just smashed my window my rear windsheld oh my God yeah and at the beginning he she broke windows in his house and he's in the house like uh she's break my windows in my house now uh whoa It's a freaky video does that make your blood pressure go up Jesus Christ crazy when she got out of her car with the Crowbar I was like oh this just got real as that's how people die said she got him she got him arrested earlier like previously cuz he was at her his brother's house or something and she just said like he was beating her up and the cops came and

61:53arrested him yeah she been tormented for like a long time I hope that Devil's Advocate what if she's telling the truth and he was beating her up and she's like enough of this punk ass I'm going over his house with a crowbar I'm going to run this over with a truck right and fun fact if you Google her name Jamie or his name I don't know if you can find this but they actually were a rap Duo and they have rap videos together together oh my god what have you done what's spiral have you let us down I hope he at least did something good you know what I mean like banged a supermodel or something cuz you know I'd be really disappointed to find out that like he left her with a bill at like Red Lobster or something like that she's like just furious yeah what could have possibly been that bad that she wanted to kill him with a car yeah well to ram a Mercedes into his Honda is like you know it's like

62:50throwing money at somebody's face like you piece of I hate you well that's a pump mov though that's a pumped up move yeah it is throw you're pumped up if you throwing money in someone's face you don't give a didn't someone did someone did that to like to P Diddy it was like a story in some article about uh some violence that had broken out in this club people getting shot cuz some guy showed up at uh one of P Diddy's things you know P Diddy's like famous for going to these clubs and he'd have the Velvet Rope and all this money and all this bottles that was his whole thing right his whole thing was flossing and some guy came up to him and like $100 bills in his face oh that had to hurt I bet I bet one of his eyes got puffy and then it's a puff daddy joke right there that's maybe when he became Diddy didn't like being puffy anymore maybe that was maybe they corresponded

63:41yeah it depends yeah but something h i mean that was uh I think somebody get shot in that incident right didn't somebody get shot or trampled or something like that yeah I'm pretty sure I'm trying to look it up right now I think Chris Brown was involved and there was something about a bottle getting broken in someone's eyee got that's a different one that's a different one no that's a different one that's a recent one the the P Diddy one he might even been Puff Daddy was in New York that other one was out here but I mean I'm sure there's been a lot of incidence with Drake at a club too P didy yeah how dare you who won please tell me Drake I I don't know it was over a girl oh man fighting over chicks I just sent you the video of the the music video of the two people Jamie but throwing money in a guy's face is a real like I mean that's like the ultimate like hitting a man

64:27with a glove or whatever like starting a duel it's that's the energy that he's put out to the world it's perfect because like if you see P Diddy walking down the the beach with a dude who's holding an umbrella over his head have you seen that no you haven't seen that uh he has a manservant and the manservant will follow him around with an umbrella oh my god oh yes here we go Jamie Barth Bentley his name is barnsworth Bentley that's amazing he's a character he's a character in a Spider-Man comic book barnesworth can I have my umbrella Please I mean if if for if P Diddy was like some diabolical look at this he's got a guy following him around with an umbrella oh my God and the gentleman has a bow tie on why wouldn't you have a girl do that you know like if I won the Power Ball I'll have that but a girl and she has to wear a bikini I don't know man well it's

65:21a weird position but maybe it's a really good gig like maybe he just gets to Jet all over the world and wear bow ties and just all he has to do is hold an umbrella how hard is that yeah in a fake world what if P did he liked guys and that was a way to have his boyfriend always with him in a fake world I've got what a thinly veiled attempt at humor Farnsworth Bentley attends the 2003 MTV Music Video a Wars I've gotten to work and hang out with a Snoop Dogg quite a bit and he has an uh uh Asian guy who his only job and he's the best at it is rolling Blunts and he just rolls Blunts and he's just the best blunt roller and it just comes up and it's like hey this is you know I don't remember his name exactly but it's like this is ba Blaha he's the blunt roller guy and he just and when you hit it it just is like you it's like a r laser coming at you you know how the end of a

66:22anything cherries up it's always even it's a perfect like he does it with his hands yeah like a science he really like really like massages it you could tell that he really takes his time very adhesive perfect cylinder damn hand rolled you can almost tell that it was like just rolled there's no substitute for quality and craftsmanship it's true and you know I understand you're Snoop Dog you smoke blunts all day continuously and he does like you you know you see all the all these different celebrities have their things and you're like oh my he doesn't he doesn't really like that offstage well like Snoop just he's unbelievably hilarious when it comes to smoking yeah you would think that the blunts I wonder what kind of paper they're using are they using like legit blunt which is uh what a blunt is for folks who not aware is they take a cigarette um or rather a cigar and uh

67:16take the tobacco out and then put weed in and roll it up together and uh I never had one until I hung out with Charlie Murphy and his cousin rich woo they Da first of Cu you're breathing in the tobacco smoke which is an added element and it does something it opens up your capillaries in your lungs so that the T more THC gets in your blood it also has an effect of its own you know the nicotine in the the tobacco leaf has an effect of its own and it's also unusual in the fact that that tobacco leaf is generally not inhaled you when you smoke a tobacco uh cigar you puff it but you don't take the big deep inhaling like lung filling breaths that you do when you smoke weed so if you smoke a blunt it's really kind of the only time you're breathing that smoke in and it's a serious irritant like I think that's real unhealthy for you to to smoke those tobacco leaves all

68:13the way down right I think you can't do that every day know that's why that's why you know Gino's little that electronic cigarette blunt that that thing tastes great and you don't have to do part of it no Gino's the La speedweed he knows what he's doing man he got pulled down from Instagram isn't that hilarious Instagram deleted his account or suspended his account or whatever the hell they did because he's uh weed related like he's operating within the California laws he's selling something that everybody loves how come you have all these wine companies that have Instagram accounts and all these beer companies which I like wine I like beer we all do but why what's so wrong with weed Gino Service is like the greatest thing ever about by the way he should get back at Instagram by making a promo that's like the Instagram special where like you get a gram of pot like

69:03within 10 minutes some type of crazy promotion where it's like hey did you hear about the Instagram thing just use them as a marketing thing yeah that's funny Instagram's man I can't believe that great it's just they're they're a company they're trying to make some money I I get it how is it though that Twitter you're allowed to see buttholes but Instagram you can't even see nipples you know like I think Twitter because of the fact that you um can see all that stuff there's like a more maybe more of a limit in as far as like what kind of ads they'll get whereas maybe Instagram because they've been proactive in censoring people's material censoring with the images and stuff that you're allowed to put up you know maybe they be they can sell more of those sponsored Instagram ads that way they have a lot of those sponsored ads you know you see them all the time now

69:52in your feed yeah I don't have a problem with it you could show butth holes on Twitter yeah you can do whatever you want on Twitter I think sponsored ads on Instagram are probably the least offensive ads ever because they take a half of a second to go through I agree whereas an ad- on TV is the most offensive if you're watching The Walking Dead and they're about to get jacked by zombies and it Fades to Black and it's don't you want your car to shine like new it's unbelievable like you you of rude in the entire mood of this awesome show to sell me uh some wax or whatever the you're selling yeah the artist took time to set a tone and a feel so much better if you watch it on iTunes it's crazy to me like I remember when uh I we were making the show uh the burn a couple years ago on Comedy Central Jeff Ross show and I wrote and produced it and uh you know

70:49you i' it was the only show that I ever watched on TV because I was always doing standup and stuff and I didn't even like have a TV you know that's back like this is like four or five years ago anyway uh but after every going into every commercial break during this comedy show that's at 10:30 at night it was always a Life Alert commercial like straight into like I've fallen and I'm I need help I'm dying here you know what I mean like who's going to save your grandma if you don't have Life Alert and it's like it's like now back to your comedy experience yeah it's like the worst type of stuff it's terrible it's it's well we all know that from doing standup or from going to the movies you know if a movie got interrupted every 15 minutes for commercial you know how pissed you would be at the end of that movie the problem with network television is the model that they're

71:39using where you interrupt shows and and show these commercials it sucks it sucks and you're stuck with it you got to figure out a whole new way to show ads because people are done and so their idea was well we'll just make ads more interesting we'll just make ads more creative and they did that to a certain extent but they still suck yeah nobody wants to see them they interrupt even if it's the most awesome ad ever it's interrupting whether or not Rick is going to get jacked by the zombies right right and that's they're cable that's even more up it's like AMC and uh you know the independent film Channel IFC and all these different Chanel those are cable they could do whatever they want like they have to they have to censor themselves to ensure that they get the right ads so they self-censor just to get ads it's not like the ABC CBS NBC those are governed

72:32by the FCC and so when when you're on television you're not allowed to swear you're not allowed to like there's there's a law but on cable there's no laws that's why they say now and they say like there's a lot of shows they get real close to saying you but they don't really say you but they get real close and it's cuz they're on cable the only reason why they don't do everything full nudity do whatever they want is ADS it's it that's why HBO gets away with just going Buck Wild no ads but try getting people to pay for today like if they don't produce things like Game of Thrones if they don't have like uh specials like Whitney special they don't have like a lot of original content Amy Schumer's last special a lot of original content where people are going to seek it out specifically Big Time fights whenever they have uh BigTime fights on HBO if it's not that

73:26it's hard getting people to pay today yeah it really is I mean but at the same time it's sort of isn't like I feel like it's hard for like the middle of the country I think is making the transition now but Netflix is up to over 75 million subscribers or something like that every day it's going up by millions yeah and HBO is I think at like 25 million households right now wow so that's nuts I mean I I personally I run completely off of I have Netflix and I have HBO Go and that is it like if there's a sporting event on the TV then I have to go to a local you know bar or something or restaurant to check it out that's just how I roll you just don't want cable or satellite or anything like that you know I I don't never use it I don't never use it the only thing that might come on is like a college football game or the UFC or something like that yeah but you got the UFC pass now like I I I

74:23mean I cut the cable bill I haven't looked back at all you know with Hulu Plus and and you have the UFC app where it's just that's all you need a lot of people going in that direction now yeah that's what they think the future is they think the future is not going to be television especially now that TVs hook up to uh HDMI cables they hook up to computers right away and a lot of TVs are now getting online like a lot of TVs out of the box of online ability and so they act as a small computer so you'll just be able to go straight I like my my TV by itself goes straight to Youtube I can go to YouTube like what the you through iTunes you do everything iTunes connects you to Netflix Apple uh Apple TV connects you to Netflix did you get the new one yet I tell you that's worth the upgrade it's one of my favorite things ever just being able to go uh Steve Martin and it

75:11pulls up every single Steve Martin movie and then yeah you just tell it so you're like uh you know Walking Dead and then then you click on Walking Dead it says available on Hulu or iTunes or Netflix and it just takes you right there good googly mly yeah that's what daddy as barnesworth do he just says something Walking Dead barnesworth doeses he does he have to massage his feet at the end of a long day totally oh yeah get the lotion but okay but if it's barnesworth Choice like say if barnesworth was like living in Columbus and he's working at a tire factory and I was just like and then all a sudden this guy came into town and go dude I've been looking for a guy to carry my umbrella I'll pay you a million dollars a year yeah you you got to go with me to Paris France and all over the world but you be with me 24 hours a day and uh you my beck and call and you must massage my feet at the end

75:56of every night I'd be like he'd be like I'm a millionaire and I don't work at a tire factory woo P pinky in Pinky's out pinky in oh in him I don't think he's asking for that Brian I just don't understand why you want to have a girl well because he would probably start her and she would interfere in his business and you know if she was hot especially and they're around each other all the time at a certain point in time she'd start complaining about not getting any dick like God these guys I don't know what's wrong I mean not all to talk want to have sex with me yeah they're going to talk got to gag these girls you know you're finding a pum you what you want is a robot you know you want a replicant like Blade Runner style which we're going to have it's going to happen 20 years away we're 20 years away from going over someone's house and they have a replicant yeah you're going to go over

76:48your buddy's house and he's going to have a a Chinese lady with giant ridiculous tits and a waste that doesn't seem to be possible for the size of her tits an ass that's out of this world and she's going to be cleaning up and you're not going to be sure if she's real or not you're going to be like um what's that is that a person is this a person or is that a replicant and he'll pull you into the kitchen and they'll explain it to you do you think do you think when they when we get close to that that they're going to first just let them out into the world and try to fool everybody to see if they can do it like a beta test no they're too expensive yeah but they're tracking them hard I think we'll know no I think we'll know when they develop one when they get one to the point where it's almost like a person we're going to know and it's going to be terrifying when

77:35they sit that one down on television and we have a robot that adjusts his clo and goes so what would you like to know you're going to go oh my god what have we done like what the have we done yeah and how what what do we know about what this thing has done to protect itself what do we know about what this thing has done to ensure that the ideas that it has will continue in some other form and the most important question how do you it oh you're going to be able to it like you would a normal woman they're going to be able to have artificial skin they they have artificial skin that they've already developed so they they've been able to develop skin in um in uh like a like some sort of an experiment where they recreated a woman's bladder they used stem cells and they recreated her bladder wow they created a new bladder and then they put it back into her body

78:27and it acts as a functioning bladder like they're they're going to they're going to be able to develop artificial Skin So when these robot created skin when these robots that you can become like easily accessible how much longer until women go extinct how much longer until you go over your ex's house your ex is like 60 years old she's dressed like the wife on thre's company the one you know Mrs Furley she just like Mrs and behind her are an army of 7ot tall black guys with giant dicks and they're just stroking their shafts all day she shuts that door she goes yeah just put it over there she shuts that door back to work and they just stuff her all day and she takes Mr furly's money and she invests it in these gigantic Bob sap looking Mandingo warrior dudes with giant ebony dicks that's there there's her so she comes to the door and uh yeah oh thank you Mr UPS driver and the UPS driver

79:28takes a look down the hallway over her shoulder and sees all these guys just stroking it staring out the window with glowing eyes oh yeah do you think a big crazy vibrating robot dicks oh yeah why would they just why wouldn't they vibrate of course oh yeah punch you multiple switches on these things they whip like a whip do you think it would you would have to clean the come out of it or if it would just reuse the comfor ters later you know like it was that advanced where it just used it Fe it lives off come ideally that's the only way it stays alive so it has to constantly be trying to turn you on I sure would love a good charging this morning from behind yeah please put it in my palm you know oversensitive people right now will be tuning in going I can't believe what they're saying I can't believe Tony hinchcliff is saying that women would go extinct if someone

80:18made a perfect artificial woman that did everything that a man wants with no nagging why don't you want the nagging why you want real woman yeah because real women don't have a mute button how dare you mute and clean all right I'll be back in a couple hours bye babe well think about all the negative aspects of people right the jealousy and anger and that lady their homicidal Rage Smashing into that dude's car and then breaking all his windows think about all those negative aspects of being a person now think of all the positive aspects all the great things people could do when they're wonderful to you and they're nice and supportive and loving and friendly and caressing and affectionate and just get rid of the bad stuff and then you have this perfect person maybe barnesworth is a robot and we just don't know it maybe maybe P Diddy is just a man of the future that

81:03possible that there's something super Shady about the a guy that holds an umbrella for a living they've always existed though I mean that's the the Butler and Batman he never wants to kick ass he never is like look I'm tired of this dude you leave me you get all this press you're out there kicking ass nobody even knows me I'm down here inventing no he doesn't care he always there's always been that guy yeah right there's always been the manservant role in those those television shows I wonder if anybody's everever gone to P Diddy's house and accidentally left the door open and barnesworth was like would you born in a barnworth be a great line oh you son of a I mean if your name is Baron barnworth Butlers are a weird thing right a man standing there with a little white towel over his arm with his hand like upright in a very correct and proper posture good day sir may I help

81:55you sir like someone falling you around getting you things barnesworth please fix me a drink Scotch uh two cubes of ice and uh turn the music up very low and please close the door when you leave right away sir come in and take care of you imagine getting a woman been better well imagine also like switching of roles what if like you were a really really wealthy guy and you had a you had yourself a barnesworth and barnesworth did a wonderful job but barnesworth had Ambitions of his own and barnesworth left and he left to start his own business and that business was ultimately a gigantic success boy it took off but your business well the internet came along and gutted it and record companies just weren't making any money anymore those record stores they don't exist and you owned a chain of them and that's how you had barnesworth and they went under but barnesworth he

82:52created Napster yeah barnesworth started balling barnesworth was uh he figured out how to make money off of YouTube ads and barnesworth uh you know what he did man he started selling MP3s started putting that on iTunes Now barnesworth is worth hundreds of millions of dollars and barnesworth wants to hire you to be his Butler now what do you do that's that sounds like a great movie idea yeah like a face off trading Space Trading Faces Trading Faces yeah well people who have Butlers would hate to be a butler like once you have a butler you never want to go to being a butler yeah that would be that would be diabolical yeah once you have some dude who stands there like a like a knight in front of a castle with his little white perfect tuxedo looking jacket on the or tuxedo shirt I would love that the few times that I've gotten to fly first class I mean having just

83:48having somebody come up once in a while and be like is there anything I can get for you anything at all it's always just the greatest feeling I can't imagine having a full-time barnsworth they would grow to hate you they would taser you like David Spade's guy tasered him but I totally think that David Spade out of barnesworth and he tasered him tacked him what yeah tacked him oh allegedly I wasn't there allegedly tasered him him up like it was like a big case it was in the news I think the dude just got enough David Spade at a butler huh enough he had assistant which is a milder version of a barnesworth yeah you know some dude follows you around tells you when you're supposed to be somewhere his name is Skippy skipp Skippy Skippy do you guys remember Skippy from Family Ties no you remember Skippy from Family Ties yeah he was on that show with Michael J fox and then

84:43went from that into standup and he would be like on the road in like places we were like uh in the early early days but I don't know what happened I don't know that's hard like Screech did that for a while too right from sa by the Bell I had to roast him one time we did one of these roasts of the uh no it was the roast of Ron jery and I had to roast Screech oh my God it was so much fun that he he's completely out of his element but it was so much fun like uh I told him uh nowadays when I watched episodes of Saved by the Bell I think to myself why couldn't there be a school shooting back then too soon boom too soon too soon I guess he stabbed someone at a at a nightclub in um Minnesota did he stab someone or was he involved in a stabbing I had heard about it he was at a bars some dude was with his chick he pulled out his knife oh my God I was actually talking to him like the

85:41day before that happened and then like the day after that happened yeah really yeah what's he like he's nice I like him a lot is he a good guy MH you called him or he called you did you reach out to the SC out what DM other Jamie's clearly had too much I mean uh Tony's clearly had too much weed today yeah reach out to the scree out that came out of your mouth you know what's funny is last time I did a podcast with you we talked about um puns and I defended puns and I said people make a you know only people that can't make puns like say that puns are hacky because everybody loves puns when they're good and so been getting like smashed in my Twitter mentions uh in a great way like people send me like funny things that they thought of and it's like my favorite thing now people are like hey this happened today crazy pun right like blah blah blah blah and they

86:38send me the thing that's funny no you love those those to you were like little gifts the universe gives you and you know they're corny cuz as you're saying them I see your your your smile starts to turn up as you're saying it it's my favorite thing it's so like cuz they're always in the moment I always love stuff that's like right that like just happened and only can last a second fleeting yeah fleeting so um this is the special that comes out this Friday is the one that you did at our world famous ice house Comedy Club yeah our favorite spot or one of our favorite spots right next to oh let's play the uh trailer is there a trailer y Play the trailer little something powerful Tony Hench Cliff entrepreneur that's me that's that's how it starts this is how it starts it's one complete shot and one this is what's really cool about it you follow Tony from the outside where

87:31he smoking in front of the headliner spot in the parking alley into the club and on stage and it never misses a beat one continuous take no cuts no editing but there is a cut right there in the trailer unfortunately or else you'd see Joey Diaz bringing me up which is awesome why'd you throw your cigarette on the ground at the beginning of the video cuz you're a slob cuz I'm done cuz you're littering it's done I had a barnesworth there to pick it up don't wor you did not have a barnesworth you just wanted to be the cool guy Josh J Josh Martin AKA barnesworth we got to call him barnesworth now it's barnesworth don't don't you do his I have no idea why these guys call me bnwo now I was with uh somebody the other day and I was like who was your favorite comic of the night and I had Josh on the show and she goes oh Josh Martin was my favorite I'm like Josh

88:24really you like Josh and goes dude he says rape with a W that was hilarious he's killing he's absolutely murdering I I've been randomly you know Monday nights are weird I randomly once in a while just go to check in at like 10 p.m. whenever we're done with the podcast every time and and he's always on because he just got done with our podcast so he has a thing where he always gets to go on right when we're done so he goes downstairs and that's always I always say good hi to a few people and then I'm in there he's murder right now Josh that like has that speech impediment with like his a a nice guy he followed Rogan on the secret show the other day like 300 people he had to go up right after Rogan it was great yeah he did okay stayed alive stayed alive that's really you know and he's only been doing it how long now uh two and a half years yeah I fell in love with him the first time

89:15that I saw him I was I was hosting that night and they were making like some little promo video for The Comedy Store and it was the first time that I ever saw him on stage and I and they're they asked me to interview you know just walk around and explain how pop luck works cuz they wanted to make a little two-minute video for The Comedy Store I think it's still on their website actually and I talked to him and I met him that night and he I go what do you do for work he goes I'm a manager at a McDonald's uh like an hour an hour outside of Los Angeles I'm like you have such an interesting look and you sound so funny that if you get good at this you are going to be un stoppable and I'm starting to see this like when the car starts to turn over and it's like you're like oh there's a engine in here I'm seeing it every Monday and like I said earlier like there's nothing more fun than

90:10watching people that you know and that like you're in you root for just start ripping it yeah and he's doing it right now it's so cool especially since he has such a defined style like he literally you know they say it takes 10 years to find your voice MH but he has his voice like literally it's going to as long as he keeps doing it and wiring so no speech therapy you don't think so oh I said oh no way I say you fix that you're crazy look at that this was like literally I think his first time at The Comedy Store he's bombing it's probably really quick oh let's we don't want to watch him bomb there's no reason there's no reason to watch that but this was like his first time up and I go dude you got to get in the game bro and sure enough he did well he works at the store now yeah he's worked there for and he's been the producer of kill Tony I mean this guy hustles and he

90:59tries to do as many spots as possible he's gotten you know like you I've watched him grow on and off stage because like he used to like start arguments with people and just talk and it's one of the guys you know like so many others where you get to watch them grow as a human you know some for some people doing standup comedy all of a sudden you're in a social setting for the first time ever well it just it can be it can be a real bad had scene you know when you're struggling and you're young and you you know look like you have no future lived in his car for a while yeah paid Paid Dues for a while like over a year he lived in his car one time Brian Moses on the way to the ice house he had to pee I was in the car for that and it was the most unbelievable thing ever so Josh is driving in the car that he sleeps in his house we're going to the ice house for one of these Friday

91:50night shows I'm sitting shotgun and our good pal Brian mes host a roast battle is sitting in the back seat and we get off as soon we're it's like we're almost there we're like 5 minutes away it's like a 25 minute drive right all of a sudden Moses is like oh man I got to pee bad like real bad oh I'm peeing and me and Josh are both like what what are you really he's like I can't stop it now I'm peeing and it like he just pisses himself yeah I'm like out of nowhere what was he doing Moses doesn't mind me telling this story it's way too funny to not tell sorry you're cool you're you're cool you can handle this uh but and what but what's unbelievable about the story is who cares that he peed himself what are the odds that a guy peed himself that never pees himself ever what are the odds that he peed himself in the back seat of where this kid sleeps like now

92:48he has to no matter where he's staying has to put his feet on that end of the back seat on the other side and by the way he just given a few minutes a warning we could have got up who who has to PE so quick forgot how great this story really is it was it was on the ice house right because they came right to the ice house and then Brian just says I just had to go it just came out of nowhere I just had to go like and you could tell even he as it was happening like he's like yeah this never happens I don't know what the going on well that's it happens when people poop themselves right that that almost makes more sense like sometimes people get diarrhea and you're like oh God like I I remember just a couple weeks ago I barely made it to the toilet I had these insane pains in my lower stomach and I was climbing I was going upstairs when I started to have them I'm like oh no like this is

93:40like a real battle so I was squeezing and I I couldn't talk to anybody I'm like I can't talk can't talk excuse me and I and I had to push past my kids and get to the toilet and I and I shut the door like Daddy's got to go hold on I'll be right out they start asking me questions and and I sit down I had to lock the door cuz they start working the knob like 5-year-olds going give a if you have to go to the this doesn't doesn't register with them like Daddy I have to talk to you about some stuff like hold on hold on and it just it rushed out of me like a hord of Barbarians just swinging broadswords and pushing the enemy over the cliff it was insane how it was coming out I can't even imagine you must have like real man shits like I could never my little tiny deer droplets come out you're you're starting to eat meat now Tony eats meat now Tony has a different

94:29diet now I've been eating meat for a few weeks and I am pumped about it I'm excited about it I had a whole chicken breast yesterday that's great you went from being a vegan to being a carnivore yeah steak sandwich for dinner last night chicken breast for lunch what was it what pushed you over the top it was a besides the mocking of everyone around you constantly it was mostly that I wanted to have friends again uh my dad I haven't I didn't get to go back to Youngstown where I'm from for a few years I've just been you know every it's blah blah blah blah but anyway I went into my dad's restaurant he owns a great Italian restaurant where I'm from in Youngstown and uh give it a plug well I actually shouldn't probad idea yeah I talked about other stuff about him on another podcast anyway uh um went to his restaurant Apple Beast it's it's it's a it's an independent

95:26great Italian restaurant but he looked at me so disappointed when he I he goes all right what do you want me to make for you I'm going back I'm going to make something and I and I go uh whatever you want I just I I uh don't eat meat and I don't eat dairy and the look he gave me like it was like I could feel it was like Emperor Palpatine electricity that like out of nowhere and you're just like oh my God 31 years this guy's been my dad and I've never gotten a look of like he stopped and looked at me confused and sort of like turned his head like a dog like are you kidding me so was your dad like Sebastian totally yeah my dad's like a complete perfect hbd embarrassed Sebastian and dice that's my dad complete hybrid of those two guys are you kidding me so then and there you quit no he waited until he got back and then did the day he got back well nobody

96:22out of all the years out of everything it's been you know it was like five or six years of vegetarianism veganism but I eat fish so it's like pescatarian but I don't eat dairy so it's weird anyway nobody's busted my balls more about it than Brian Redban here and our very good friend Pete uh because I hang out with them all the time and so something happened blah blah blah blah and I just sort of like after the few days of being back and being like I wonder how good my dad's I mean the seafood pasta that he made for me was the most mind-bending Seafood pasta I've ever had in my life but there was there was something about the look that he gave me in which it's like do you have any idea what you're missing out on you idiot I'll make you the seafood pasta your face looks fuller yeah yeah his body looks fuller too I think yeah it looks like you've you've stopped this growth stunt

97:09like you had maybe like a bend in a garden hose and you just opened it up and now you're starting to fill in have you seen his butt lately look at his little butt he's got a new butt you got a little butt you show me your butt I don't have butt show me your little butt you do seem are you really standing up to show your butt don't listen to him I know I was looking to see if I had a butt don't listen to him I wasn't showing you I was looking to see if I had one how could you check how could you be sure that's a terrible angle there's no way be sure yeah no you do see that little poop are you uh lifting weights or something oh yeah every day squats no no squats um I just have a couple dumbbells I just work shoulders and press and curls you should go to a trainer yeah I should you know would be a funny show you and Brian no losing weight and gaining weight oh yeah both

97:55of you together in and out you can call it in and out what's creatine creatine every says I should do that yeah it'll help your it helps muscles recover and it helps them grow and it helps them retain water and some people when you take too much of it it gives you kind of like a puffy look cuz you uh you retain like a little bit more water apparently I'm not I don't want to talk out of school but it's a it's definitely been shown to be beneficial for gaining muscle yeah and it's also something that they measure if you are overtrained you you can have cre it's I think it's called creatinine I think it's a little bit of a different thing but it's uh it's it's it's something that shows the damage of your muscles so like if you're like grossly overtrained you might have really high levels of this stuff and then like I I know of a guy there's a guy I think was pulled out of a fight

98:42because of it like they tested him and he tested really high for this creatinine stuff I think I want to say Tim catalo I don't it's hard for me to remember but it was another organization out outside the UFC a long time ago I do I remember that yeah I don't know how I remember that but uh creatine works it's legal too it also what it what what's your like energy like 5 Hour Energy before doing our workout is that bad for you cuz I'm so paranoid with my cuz this thing like tracks your heartbeat all times and it's like well the milligrams caffeine if you look at a 5H Hour Energy drink I think it's only a little bit over 200 milligrams caffeine it's vitamin B12 which is healthy for you you get some uh some stimulation from that it's a lot of vitamin B12 but B but vitamin B12 water soluble it goes right out of your system and in and out it's not like you'd have to take like a a

99:28giant amount of it for a long period of time to have any negative effects so like using it as a stimulant or a potential energy source like that in a 5H Hour Energy drink is fine it's not bad for you the only thing with the 5H Hour Energy is you could have a nasin flush you ever have one of those oh yeah well I take um I take nin I take flash nin which makes my whole skin tingle makes me red bright red shit's really I've had it happen before I went on this 5 hour thing where I I thought 5 Hour energies were just the greatest thing for a while and uh maybe like my 10th or 15th one over like a couple months and one of those hit me and it just like freaked me out oh you got a nice and Flash yeah D that's nothing compared to taking the actual niin you take actual nin it's nuts man the feeling you get this the tingling on your skin like it freaks some people out it freaked me out what

100:20is it I like it it's a supplement I like it because I know it's not going to kill tell me but it's a it's you're you're feeling the reaction of this nutrient like it makes your your skin like tingle and flush yeah they call it flash niin um but it's an essential nutrient really good for your body a lot of people are low in it good for sex I imagine oh yeah son well um it's also that's what that the stuff like um nitrous oxide which a lot of people take like different pump up things those things they have a similar effect to uh Viagra and Calis they have a similar effect in being like uh somehow or another it uh it aids the blood flow or it stimulates the blood flow like um a lot of those uh same drugs are banned in the Olympics like Viagra and seis is banned in the Olympics because it's actually a performance-enhancing supplement not that they judge you when you're

101:17but that they your muscles itself like when the reason why your dick gets harder everything gets bigger like you you get like harder your your body like has uh more resources available for a brief amount of time at least they determined enough to make it illegal in the Olympics pretty interesting stuff you know I wonder if there's any sports where having a boner actually helps you at the time like jav or oh yeah wrestling freak the other guy out right just just let him know yeah this is to the death what's up it's it's taking stall and Viagra sucks when you're working out though because you can't control it when you're on like the treadmill and stuff so you just have crazy boners and all these guys you got to tap homeboy down tack him down you got to have some tight jammies you can't running around yeah you can't be wearing those boxer shorts that you wear you

102:01hog slapping against the inside of your thigh there's a guy there's a guy about those dirty girls that you know like there's a guy at the gym that's that that muscle there's a guy at that gym that has that muscle like that crazy yeah like but it's so ridiculous like it looks like he pumps the gel in that point it's so uncomfortable when he's around though they do do that man you know about that stuff that they there's this stuff called syn oil that um some crazy people shoot into their bodies to make it look like they have giant muscles but they don't really have giant muscles they have these oil swollen limbs that don't look real so it looks like they have fake boobs on their arms fake boobs and their shoulders fake boobs and their boobs there's a weirdness to it where you can tell that the guy's not really strong but he has these crazy fake giant arms that don't

102:49look real at all and giant traps like there's this one like this guy get out of here that's a Synthol that's what the guy looks like at at my gym it's scary looking yeah he look at that guy if you cut that guy open he would spill out like a bottle of olive oil that's exactly what he looks like it's craziness that's so creepy that these guys make their entire lives around like the size of their bodies do the top right one what is this guy look at this Popeye this is insane even Popeye wasn't that ridiculous this is saying oh my God look at his arms man look at his neck boob well that's all all that Synthol because like look at his abs and look at his chest like it doesn't make any sense he has a built-in neck pillow that must be like fun to fly with what was that other one that you just showed is that the guy what he used to look like oh Photoshop face see that guy

103:40that's a real bodybuilder body that guy that's just steroids and lifting weights Jesus the you can tell the difference when you see those synthoil bodies there's a video of one find the video of the Brazilian dude there's a Brazilian dude who's got a shirt off and he's dancing and it's so weird man you're looking at his tits move and his shoulders move and his biceps move and you're like what the is why they get crazy but it's just like uh anorexia man you don't know what you look like yeah your mind gets warped oh yeah body dysmorphia is 100% real people's their mind gets warped and they just decide I'm not skinny enough and they just keep starving themselves so there's nothing left that happens with people that get all kinds of crazy done to them did you see Amy the documentary on Amy wi house no I didn't I didn't want to watch it that's another one unbelievable I was um

104:29someone was sitting next to me maybe it was Ian we're on the plane was it you Jamie we were watching it and uh it's like I looked over a little bit of it I'm like I don't want to watch this kid like having a great time having all this talent and then turn into a junkie and fall apart and an alcoholic it just makes me sad yeah it's depressing man well the main thing is that she had dysmorphia and she was totally buic the the entire time and it's probably basically what sort of killed her is like her body was just on complete shutdown when you get to that point you know her face started swelling up like there's crazy things that happened deep into bulimia God damn so towards the end she had bulimia oh she had it the whole time and it was like a huge part of everything she was always she would always just throw up everything that she had but amazing documentary oh my god

105:15really it's it starts with this there's like so much old video footage of her and it starts with her hanging out with her friends and they're singing happy birthday to one of their friends there's like five girls all hanging out and they just like little girls like I don't know 10 11 or 12 and they're all singing happy birthday and then she keeps going on this solo and you're like oh my God already like totally a star she has that Amy win housee voice that just kills and uh no I love it also the documentary cuz she was amazing she just had pipes and she has that cool like old bluesy big band feel that just gets me pumped up I've been listening to a lot has yeah I listen to her a lot I've always been a big fan of hers but she has this there's like an authenticity to the sound of her voice right yeah totally totally Standalone almost there with like an Ella

106:05Fitzgerald type or like have you ever heard of uh Ray monu lantu is that how you say his name so I can't remember what what he's done there's this guy um Rose at The Comedy Store she uh out of nowhere she goes um we're leaving everybody's leaving and she pulled pulls into the parking lot and she's like you got to hear this song she goes you got you got to hear this guy I go who and she goes this guy I mean it's out of nowhere she's like this guy Ray montigue and he's got this song um TR no not trouble it's not trouble he's got this s Jolene see if you could find Jolene um so she um she plays this song yeah there it is Jolene that's like his his most famous one we didn't hear this motherfucker's voice don't play it until you get everything in line cuz I don't want it to I don't want it to like half play and then play again cuz this guy his voice is so good it deserves to be

107:01uninterrupted for the brief amount the don't do a live version do do the studio version studio is this a studio version okay cool I cut this off of YouTube I'm pretty sure okay hear this real quick oh f is that as loud as can just listen to it it's amazing I like it he's a bad listen to this listen to this that's a bad that's undeniable bad like it he's got like a touch of that Rod Stewart raspiness but not like all the way Rod Stewart well it's just he's he's just him he's him you know whatever it's kind of raspy but I wouldn't compar to anybody else he's not like a Rod Stewart he's got his own Vibe going on man that's a crazy song Too a song about a junkie that's just telling his love I'm not going straight like this is it I'm riding it out woo that's a dark song with soul to it is that a guy that's still alive or is yeah yeah he's still alive I mean it's just a song

109:05He's not a junkie for real no no no I mean like I mean he actually might be might be kind of up for real so that and that's another thing about the Amy thing is it's like and Kurt Cobain too it's like what is that connection we like these freaky freaky both both vocal wise and they write their songs like it makes you wonder like why is there always like this crazy adverse effect on the other end or like of heroin yeah yeah or yeah well heroin has some sort of connection to like this deep Moody pain that a lot of Blues singers and a lot of jazz musicians and a lot of a lot of rock and roll Stars figured out a way to tap into and find some resource of creativity in that realm it's just so destructive to your body while you're there it's just so devastating the fact that you're a junkie you're not taking care of your health and it's not even necessarily even primarily the effects

110:03of heroin but the side effects of the lifestyle of being a junkie the the lack of sleep and the terrible life and the the terrible food and just the chaos you know that's that's what cripples them all crushes them all there's people that are like functional junkies that exist for a long time they can live for a long time it's weird but it's not like even being an alcoholic it's not just the alcohol it's also the lifestyle that you live this unhealthy lack of sleep lack of recovery you know lack of nutrients it's not just the alcohol it's the fact that because of you're throwing all this alcohol down your hole or your your mouth hole you're it's it's coming it's it's affecting your whole body like those decisions to drink that much booze that affects everything you do you're not going to you're not going to drink that much booze and also eat like a incredibly you know nutrient-rich

110:53organic diet you know you're G to go to airwan and get salad bar you know you're not going to do that you're a drunk yeah it all goes bad and I think with a lot of these junkies they just give into the sound they give into the siren they give into the song of the Beast just takes it into its veins and then you sing a song like that and there is that's another thing with Amy is like you also see that she had this amazing voice her whole growing up and she wanted to be a musician and she was doing good and she was doing good and good and good good and then she then she started heroin and then it's like immediately you know even the documentary shows and it's like all right and she started doing heroin all of a sudden it goes from these tiny little jazz clubs to like amphitheaters whole new songs you know rehab the album uh back back to black or Back in Black which is just all

111:46hits like out of this world right and it you know made me wonder it's like wow I just wish there was like a uh like some kind of uh what's the word like fake system or uh prototype or something that you could try that would be like what would I write if I was on heroin I don't think you get to Peak yeah we to open up the present we should all get together find like a professional like I'm not doing any drugs with you how about that do some hair on Ride the White Snake whatever smoking pot with you is problematic 45% of the time why would why would anybody want to do heroin with you that's ridiculous true yeah do you understand I always love that you never come to any of those mushroom trips with us either like it makes me think like you know something about yourself that you don't want us all to know no it's just I'm you know when I'm on mushrooms and stuff I I like hanging out and not

112:41being a and not having like a bunch of people around me like I I like I like just you know one other person you know either a girlfriend or like a best friend but I don't I don't need 20 people getting in my like 20 different things that could go wrong well not only that at least one of them is going to have a problem yeah every time you have a group of six or more people that are doing mushrooms one person freaks out they always freak out that'll become your problem if you don't watch out you know like I like being quiet not just become your problem but there's some people that when you're on trips with them they want to dedicate the trip to their trip they want to dedicate your trip to their trip they want your trip to be about their trip dude I'm seeing this and dude this is happening dude I'm feeling this like hey I'm over here doing my own thing man I don't want to

113:25constantly be uh involved in your reporting of your trip while I'm tripping right so like if you have too many people together can't like you got to have you got to trip with someone who knows how to shut the up right that's a big part of it and that's what's incredible is that that always blows my mind is that's how it ends up happening when we take our little like the holiday that arish sha feir started shroom Fest so once a year we go out there in the middle of the beautiful desert you wait until the moon said it's brightest of the year the super moon and it's always incredible how quiet and beautiful it gets all these guys like six seven I guess it's normally like five six seven comedians that spend every other night talking just you see them we all end up scattering it's not like we're sitting by a campfire or anything and you see little Starry outlines of like oh that's Ryan mvis

114:15over there just standing there and you it is it's amazing how quiet that beautiful desert can be with these personalities you almost feel like the power of it a little bit it's a potent psychedelic drug man and if you you use the right intention if you have the right ideas going into it and if you can handle it you can get some wild thoughts out of it yeah they're very beneficial and people will dismiss people like you know people that have done it they'll well you know I don't even like what he does he's done mushrooms and why would I do it it ain't it's it's not disputable like the the experience is not disputable it's powerful it's undeniably powerful I mean it might not be for you I don't know you it cures people of depression cures people of addiction cures people of cigarette addiction cures people of alcohol addiction cures people it's give it gives you a chance

115:05to look at yourself in a way that you probably would never be able to get to without it and it'll give it to you for a short window you'll get to see yourself you get to see life you get to see intention you get to see the past you get to see the present you get to see it all combined together in some strange light of this otherworldly intelligence this weird like overwhelmingly powerful new thought process that's going on in your head where you're just overwhelmed and you're seeing things and the visualizations when you close your eyes are spectacular and uh somehow or another it's illegal yeah insane that's the best part about it it's so stupid it's the stupidest thing to have illegal ever yeah like this the one thing that makes people better like we we know it like it's John Hopkins university did the whole thing they did a thing on people that were dying people that are had um

115:58uh no actually it was uh personal that was a different one they did one on people that are dying they gave them uh psilocybin and significantly alleviated their stress levels and then they did another one on people the John Hopkins one was they had these people do a psychedelic experiment psychedelic experience and then like over a decade later they were still saying that the quality of life significantly changed after that experience a lot of them were saying it there's a lot of benefits to a lot of these different things that they made illegal in 1970 we just got to face up to the facts we got by the same people that had Nixon in power Lynden Johnson and those type of people that we shouldn't be held prisoner these old ways of thinking totally you know I but I think that law enforcement and you know a lot of people that control laws and have laws in place they're very

116:46reluctant to give up a law or to admit that all the arrests that they made were unjust because it opens up this giant about backs of of you know like looking at all these people that are in jail for non-violent drug crimes now those drugs are legal what the do you do with all those people in jail you know yeah it's crazy well in Seattle they they're letting people out they're letting people people that were in for pot and people that were were selling pot they're they they're dropping their cases and you know it's one of those things to where you know what's crazy is like I guess you haven't seen making a murder but it's like I know the premise though but the in the premise is that like you know he was in prison for all those years so maybe he did do this and if he did do this he did it because he learned these bad ways in prison yeah which brings it back to the Dr people is

117:35it's like they might go in being a pot dealer and come out being a rapist murder because they jerked off for months to their bunk mates fantasy that he told them oh yeah I tied this up and it was the most fun you know and they're like wow that sounds interesting and they get out and just start crazy stuff like that yeah yeah there's there's a lot of those things right mhm I mean that's that they the recidivism rate of these prisons is insane because and I did all this research on it when Jeff Ross did his prison special uh for Comedy Central I learned all about this stuff Jeff Jeff had a really powerful thing about that that he he did like in was it an interview or what it was I tweeted it I forget what it was but he was uh talking about like what he learned about the prison system and how how hopeless it is for the people that get stuck inside of it and then you hear

118:26about things like that guy in Pennsylvania that judge that was sending these kids to a juvenile detention sending these kids up the river for like nothing because he was getting paid for it that guy's he's in jail now but he was selling children to prisoners to prisons to private prisons essentially that's what he was doing it was a it was a scam he was being paid off to continue to supply them with prisoners so he was taking these kids and just ruining their Liv like ruined countless people's lives took people for minor offenses that should have never done time they're just kids and just locked them up and them over and then kept them trapped and imagine how terrified you'd be you're a 15 16 year old kid and you do some normal kid and all a sudden you get railroaded through this justice system and this guy who's corrupt sends you to a detention to get you away from your

119:12parents and all of a sudden you're locked up in some juvenile center somewhere with a bunch of real legit criminals oh that's man yeah that's like in same yeah doesn't mean that all judges are bad right right right doesn't mean all judges would do that but gotta got to come up with a better system for dealing with people because it's almost like if someone does something wrong we just write them off we just write them off and send them to this hole and lock them up in this cage where shit's just going to get way worse and if you if you don't want to get way worse you have to follow by the rules or you get stuffed into a concrete and metal box forever mhm craziness it's insane but what do you do what do you do with someone who is like a lifelong criminal and is broken mentally like how do you fix that person I think you put him in a stormtrooper type of setup and just make

120:08him a soldier and ship them around the country and program him to only be able to do certain things like RoboCop program yeah like hobo but hobocop like just have like these homeless you got to there just because you had hobocop in your head didn't you you said RoboCop I had hobocop you set me up I wouldn't set myself up for a hobocop thing oh my God but uh what what movie was that where they reprogrammed people's minds right Ah that's it thank you right answer to that and the other guy not just vanam the other guy yes thank you oh yeah universal Soldier was the that was a good movie yeah it turned him into that's right that's exactly it was look that's totally possible that's probably possible before they even figured out how to do the robot thing yeah they probably figure out how to program people's minds oh yeah you know man it's just a matter of time you mean

121:10yeah it seems like jecl vanam do L we got lasers on it must be serious yeah that was so hilarious what's that tiny ler too oh yeah tiny Lester in the background that's hilarious those movies were fun I roasted tiny lisst at that same roast with uh that Screech was at well let me ask you this if someone came along okay like what if somebody was in a motorcycle accident and they were essentially brain dead and some doctors came along and said that they have the ability to turn this guy into a soldier robot and he could go fight for his country like you're you're you know your brother's dead Tony but uh we can keep him alive and have him go defend his country we're going to send him over to Afghanistan I mean hey might as well better there than buried right do you think so isn't that what Deadpool is De to Comic I think he doesn't have what doesn't he have like uh superpowers or

122:13some they give him some sort of badass Powers he was but he was going to die like he's given terminal oh see that's a comic book that I was never aware of me either so when this one comes out I I'm completely out of my element I don't know anything about it that was a Marvel though right it was a Marvel comic they're doing some clever marketing for it too that's pretty good interest well this is a movie that almost didn't get made but then they made a really cool uh like trailer someone made a fun trailer and the interest for it picked up so they decided to uh make the movie what's the movie de Deadpool deadp they made this fake Valentine's Day to try it's kind of try to trick some people oh True Love Never Dies Valentine's Day so great romcom style posters and Ryan Reynolds is taking full advantage a yeah man it's going to be interesting we're going to have there's

123:04going to come a time where they can sort of re reanimate a human body put an artificial brain in it it might be the first thing they do before they go to artificial intelligence take some dude got his head blown off it's like that dead dog his heart's still hanging on it's not not not thought out yet not uh not thickened up yeah they just keep it going just slap some robot head on there screw it down like RoboCop style like a pit crew pit P isn't it funny how like RoboCop when you watch that movie back in the day was like this is so never going to happen right but today you're like well I bet they could probably do it I bet we're probably pretty close to being able to come up with some artificial limbs that are more strong and more dynamic they just have to have some sort of a power source yeah there he is RoboCop wow he had a dope outfit too the new Robocop I

124:05never saw wasn't really into the new outfit new outfit just didn't is this the new one did you watch the new one no I did not I think that is the new one I met that dude yeah yeah see why why doesn't he have his hands covered I'm going to chop your hands off B exactly what you going to do have your your hands covered how come your mouth isn't covered either I'll shoot you right in the mouth hole we've identified the weak spots yeah you don't want to have an exposed mouth hole go for the mouth on hands yeah why would you ever have your exposed mouth he doesn't have he's got his whole face yeah his whole faith is like ready to be shot cuz I'm assuming there's a brain back there right you got skin so there's you know I'm going shoot right through your eyeballs right in your brain it's so stupid you know like he's got like a regular human mouth why would you have that when everything else

124:49is projected you can't project you have some sort of a speaker on the outside there's so many veins and important arteries that run around the neck how's he going to eat with no teeth he's going to get shot in the face with a cannon yeah the new one in Detroit too do you know it seems like the best place to put it today it is yeah right no one seems to have seen this movie it must have been a robo flop what he got you he out ped you I went to it he went to it he had it he delivered it you were stunned and now you're defensive I know it's not true I actually went and saw the movie and I ate a lot of popcorn during it I was a robo slop oh come on Robo stop that's he double got you we're cleaning we're cleaning house in here somebody grab us a robo mop oh why it's like you guys your guys' expectations are too high right what you once you hear Robo you know this is this is a pun battle

125:46like roast Battle Red Band just one twoed you I love just one twoed he pun toed me he did oh how why do you keep making that noise that's a that's what you do with puns that's what I do with puns that's what I do I how would you like me to react I'll do whatever you like I don't know like I love that oh that's that's the pun laugh from now on could you imagine if if someone cracks a pun on stage and the whole C goes that would be awesome dude you manifest it you better be careful what you wish for my God I love it careful what you wish for young Tony Young Tony's goingon to be with me Friday night in Atlanta yeah I'm going to be with you when my special comes out and then Saturday night in Tampa you will already be a star by the time you get on stage it'll already have launch and people will know and you'll be doing all new material yeah that's the beautiful

126:48thing like this uh you did this a few months back like how many months ago March 2015 so it's almost a year yeah so um and in that time you've got a whole new hour uh I have a new yeah 3 35 somewhere in there it's ever changing you know sometime I've been realizing lately I don't know yeah yeah it's it's wibbly wobbly so you b you bounce some of it out and push some but I started going all new as soon as I taped it a lot of guys I guess like start when uh when it comes out yeah yeah but like I I I I was ready to move on anyway well you already you knew um also that you were going to try to get this on and you get ahead of the game right going out of the bat new yeah yeah I just did the fighter and the kid and it actually came up that like they're like you know are you doing all new stuff now and I talked about how you know working with you being you're one

127:39of the few guys in the whole game that also you know I mean like generates not also you're one of the few comedians that does has like a new hour a year or and working with you even though you've never said to me personally like you need to write more material like it naturally I think rubs off that you know we're you got to just keep going and plowing like if I'm if you if you can do it with an hour and a half or two hours after my half hour then I should be doing it with my half hour you know so it's it helps a little when you do longer sets longer sets on weekends helps you know but anytime you can get in a half hour if you can get in a half an hour set you know that the real problem with LA is if you're going to do a in La you're probably going to get 15 minutes and when you get those 15minute spots most likely you'll have room for one or two new ideas and you'll have you

128:29know I always try to balance it out if I'm doing new stuff unless I did like I did stand up on the spot last night which is obviously all ad libed that was really fun but when you do new stuff you got to kind of like it's it's hard to decide like when to start the new stuff do you open with the new stuff or do you open with something established get the ball rolling and then introduce the new stuff you don't have a lot of time to around in like a 15 minute set yeah and I also you know I like to bounce in and out once in a while of crowd work you know and improvising stuff on stage and uh so that's also like mixed into things and that's also part of the reason why I shot this in one shot because I just went with my gut and I'm like if things go off the track that's normally when I shine is like you you see like sometimes when we do our shows at those big theaters like I'll do a

129:20thing where I'll roast people a group of people if they come in late and I warn the crowd in the beginning like if somebody comes in late I'm going to light them up our little secret okay and the place just loves it and I love that you know just improvising in the moment I love that pressure I love like that feeling of like you know like being a quarterback and you feel like that linebacker coming but you still have to get rid of the ball you have to just stay calm and deliver and I think part of the reason why I did it all in one shot is because I knew that if something which it didn't at all and I didn't end up doing any crowd work and I sort of was half planning like I was on the towing the line right before I went on like you know is you know anything can happen I knew that I only had one show which is rare in itself when shooting a special to only

130:05have one show and one audience and one camera and I was ready to do crowd work but I just sort of you'll you'll see in like the first 15 seconds I just sort of like you know just saying hello and then I go right into material and itend you get into it you you get into it like a regular show right yeah I ended up just do material and it sort of stayed on track there was a part where uh like I don't know like 35 40 minutes in or something my throat goes completely dry which like never happens but like I was like sort of like choked up a little bit and I take a sip of my water that's sitting there and I go most comedians do a most comedians take a sip of their drink when they're getting a huge Applause break this is a special special and like then they you know just giggled because they all know that hey I got to take a leak I'm so sorry interrupt you but I've been holding this in for a

130:52while for some strange reason so Brian talk to him real quick I love that hi Tony wow normally you bust my balls when I have to pee is the Brian story what's his name oh what uh yeah it was cool that that doing the one shot did you after it was done did you think like oh I I wish I would have done that different or this different was there anything that you kind of wish now looking at it that you did different other if you had the chance of course I mean naturally you know after doing that I mean there's always like you know things that change or different like for example like I close with you know even in March I had a different version of The Cosby thing that I do now but a totally different joke entirely you were like Bill Cosby's innocent I know it's true well sort of was because now my Cosby joke now has everything to do with how he admitted to giving girls Quay

131:50loots and R and the Cosby joke that's on one just covers that like basically it's all these little white girls that hooked up with a a rich black man for the first time and they just felt dizzy because his dick was so good that's right uh so I just ruined the ending for is that a is that a real curl if you show the camera like you have curly hair well this one it looks like it's like a tightly curled curl like it happens sometimes did you have a bow no it's just my curly Italian hair sometimes remember when I had long hair yeah that's right my apologies all good that was a close one I it was interfering with my ability to form a conversation I was like woo yeah maybe it's Brian Moses's story interally planted the seed think huh so just let it go yeah yeah that's not a good idea imagine if we come in here and it just smells like piss every day asparagus

132:46piss have you ever peed yourself oh for sure yeah who hasn't I mean and then had to wear your pants for like a long a car once um in a um like a Mountain Dew bottle or something like that like whatever I had like some sort of a soda bottle and got piss all over my oh yeah it's really hard to do because you don't realize that you need to let have enough extra air like around it or else it just sprays back at you i' I've done that to where Gatorade bottle's good gatorade's good yeah it's very girthy M Gatorades but like other ones you have to also use two hands cuz you want to hold your dick over the and you want to hold the bottle you can't do that while you're driving so you're trying to like get your deck in between your two fingers and then use like your ring finger and your thumb to kind of hold the bottle while you're squeezing your dick through and don't

133:35put your balls in either just keep those out when you're doing it there's no reason to put your balls in there well you Brian can actually fit his balls into a bottle of mountain a bottle of Mountain Dew unless you have a moonshine jug in your truck imagine if that's how you died you hit a bump and the Moonshine jar broke and cut a vital artery under your cuz you trying to piss oh Mountain Dew is a dangerous bottle to pee in cuz it's green so may have forgotten that uh you know you peed in it it's true that would if you're just one of those weirdos that picks up bottles in the Floor of your yeah your car and just starts drinking warm liquid and he could up yeah I used to know this guy who would take a Mountain Dew bottle Mountain Dew or ginger ale and one of those green plastic bottles he would fill it up with booze and he would drink it all day long he was like a serious serious alcohol

134:22that I worked with on this uh construction site when I was a kid it was weird man he would just drink all day it scared me scared me watching him cuz this guy who just drink this stuff all day and it was like only a day or two into the job that I realized that it was booze talking to people that it was he would drink malt liquor and just all day all day just drink a and he lived in this house the house had no electricity um most of the windows were out like we were working on it we were renovating this house and he lived in it while we were renovating it wow yeah it was real weird was like a construction guy he worked he worked with the guy who owned the construction company that was renovating the house and I'm pretty sure I was foggy to remember cuz I was a teenager but I'm pretty sure the guy who was renovating the house also owned it was like fixing it up and so this guy

135:05was living in it at the time when it was like gutted out just raw wood and no insulation some windows are missing and just know some of the floor was missing and this guy would just get wasted all day just drink and shake hands with shake and he know his hammer and nails and his hands are shaking carrying things out it's just he he was just deep in the web of addiction yeah did you see anybody like that when you were young because you grew up in a rough neighborhood right I uh yeah I'm actually very close to somebody who's who my my oldest brother uh became slowly over time a big uh alcoholic and he's been uh 3 months sober now which is a miracle like it's unbelievable and because it seemed like he was never going to stop uh and when he stopped drinking he was shaking so uncontrollably that he had to just he couldn't even walk he would just fall down and he's a strong guy this is a guy

136:08who like I remember going to Venice Beach with him when I came and visited just to check this place out when I was 18 to visit our other brother we me and my other me and my brother came out to visit our brother that lived here and they played basketball in Venice Beach and they were just balling all over everybody like he's an amazing athlete and this and that and while he was doing that he was drinking yeah but when he was doing that he was drinking at night not like during the I mean yeah they were drinking during the day too it was so much booze that his body was just completely hooked on it totally every day like every day every single day and night because he was a professional bartender and in Columbus Columbus Ohio even has a big drinking culture like huge drinking culture yeah it does huge and um he was like at the helm of it he's like the head bartender at all

136:55the best places in Columbus over the past you know 20 years or whatever and that even Columbus has a culture for it but also I don't think a lot of people know that the restaurant industry has a real real real culture for it everybody that works in fine dining restaurants goes out and gets shitfaced every year like 80 90% of the people because you're taking care of people all the time you need to get up you need to you need to go get treated they walk in shot beer shot beer and then they that's a big thing with restaurant workers right hug chefs waitresses bartenders huge culture of it and I'm sure barnesworth has to get liquored up once in a while you know what I mean barnesworth probably does estrogen yeah just to Locks the door and just takes estrogen shots drinks it but yeah to watch my you know physically powerful uh brother well not watch but I heard about it because

137:45he's in Columbus and I'm here but that's dark but luckily he's he's doing really good 3 months sober which I if you would have told me three months ago that he'd actually stop drinking you know I would have said that's very hard to do I wonder if mushrooms were legal and if they had real treatment centers how many people would be cured of diseases like that I want to say diseases addictions like that how many people would be cured of uh a lot of different things that they've been struggling with psychologically if they could use ibaan here in America which is like super effective in Mexico and a lot of other countries where it's legal where they use it for treatment for Addictive diseases it's supposed to be incredible for kicking people off of pills and opiates re literally reprograms your addictive tendencies in your system somehow go with Molly Molly yeah I think

138:32Molly really they said that too about PTSD for soldiers that Molly's giant for that the government paid for tests on psilocybin like Carnegie or Harvard or Cornell or some stuff and they kept finding that it cured chronic depression on people that like they had given up yeah and just said it's for life you're going to be depressed for life and totally see why yeah um it reprograms your brain AB it's like a shower for your brain like when everything's just too cluttered and dirty it's the only real analogy that I think is effective for mushrooms it's like a brain shower MH I did this thing uh that I absolutely love that I found out about a couple years ago called Netty Pot you know about that where you run warm water through your nasal passage and it's the same thing like I think to myself every time I do it like I can't believe people don't know about this because you know

139:22the squeeze one yeah that's what I that's the real one that's what I have boy you blasted up there blow out these crazy remember how I used to use that when I had my nose operation when I had my nose chewed open I had a really bad scar tissue inside my nose and I had a deviated septum and a lot of the scar tissue was like it comes calcified cuz if you've been hitting the nose a few times if it bleeds inside your nose it's like cauliflower ear but inside your nose so they cut away all this different tissue and opened up this passage and then clean it I used to use a water pick so i' squirt the water pick up one nostril and it would be pouring out the other nostril and I would blow out these Titanic boogers they looked like they were from another planet they were giant they covered in blood and they were like the size of a thumb like they would come out and I would treasure them

140:08I'd be like I want everybody to see this it was like your dick pick back in the day I showed it to Tom Sora I opened up the napkin for him to Tom sagora and he went like he started wretching we're in the airport I'll never forget it I go dude I just blew the most insane booger out of my nose I go you want to see it he goes okay I open it up and it's like just it's like rubber cement glue so like as you pull the pages aside the the booger was so big that it just didn't seem like it come out of a human it didn't make any sense and he's immediately if you have to get that done though folks if you find a good doctor I know some people have had bad experiences uh with a doctor that didn't really know what they're doing that was a life Cher for me to get my nose cleaned up so I could breathe Netty Pot I mean you know you got to do it right you got to make sure you put the packet

141:01in and use distilled water and warm it up but I mean it's one of those things to where when I do it I'm like oh tonight's going to be a good night yeah but if you have a broken nose that's still not going to work if someone need then you need to get that operation if you have a deviated septums you can't you really can't like do yoga correctly without breathing in through your nose it kept me from doing yoga a lot because they would always tell me you have to breathe out of your nose I'm like I don't have one doesn't doesn't exist I could smell a few things but it's just jacked in there so Netty pots wouldn't have worked it just just wouldn't have worked but now that it's clean it works awesome yeah so salt water too cuz you pour those little salt packets in the water and shake it up it's my favorite thing do you ever find yourself though you bend over to tie your shoes

141:44like an hour later and some water leaks out of your nose little bit where the was that water hiding in the corner do I have a hole in my head maybe store in water like I bent over to tie my shoes and I was like what is it it's drip drip drip drip drip CH happened to me during that set like just one little drop at that set last night when that lady's like no Trump's never going to came out of nowhere like bloop and I'm like what is that salty you got to just grab someone like that and take them out of the room you can't interrupt the show like that that's so stupid cuz that's one person the Irvine Improv is 500 people yeah so it's one person deciding that in 500 people that I'm sure a giant percentage of them are laughing because I know the bits hilarious oh yeah it it was insane that's why like people were booing her before I even said what's your problem lady like it was you just

142:32can't have to deal with that just people don't get it because they look at you and they go he's just talking right they go oh man he's going to make people in this room vote for Trump it's like no lady you're the only one that's not realizing that you're at a professional show right now well not only that how how weak is your candidate where a comedian could talk you out of it and go he's right these poor people Bernie Sanders is an old loser Donald Trump's right yeah do you think Trump really wants to be president cuz it seems like he's going to be yeah I'm not bullshitting and people like you're wrong you're wrong he is way out ahead on the Republican side yeah and more people are willing to vote Republican now than before Obama was in office there's a lot of people that have like strengthened their resolve against liberals and against the left against

143:20the Democratic party it's highly if he just if he just changes his tune on a few things mhm he could get him know if he needs to change his tune he's saying stuff that I think a lot of people are thinking that's one of my alien boogers oh my God yeah that's a booger yep that was a booger yeah doesn't it look like a cockroach Nest or something yeah look so look at my hand it looks like one of the planets from Star Wars that's look at my hand here yeah the think you could get a good good cuz that's a kind of a inflated picture but you can see how big that was was like that big that is like a real booger that and that was a little dry like when it came out like maybe a minute or two before that it was a little larger when you had when you had that crazy the other day and you're like pushing your kids out of your way and everything do you remember what you ate

144:10or what caused another one there's another one oh my God that's the one that made Tommy gag that is the very one that's the very one that made Tommy gag oh God he was like look like I took a photo of it in the bathroom then I I put it in a napkin I brought it out to him oh that one really is that's something else what did you ask what did you just ask what made that crazy that you're talking about where like you oil pretty sure I had uh too much MCT oil if you um put too much MCT oil in a kale shake or protein shake or something like that occasionally there's like a Tipping Point I don't know like how many cups is like I should probably figure out like what's the beneficial dose instead of just adding capfuls and I might have added an extra capful and I might have drinken much more than I usually drank and uh whatever it was the click this the the sear snapped and the opening was there

145:05like it's funny Max K when you have 5-year-olds they don't want to hear nothing like you can't say the house is on fire but Daddy I can't find my toy like whatever they're dealing with is like so critically important I'm like I got to get in I'm going to on you I'm going to on you little kid your face is where my ass is you better get out of the way I can't stop it like I was with all my bik my might I was tightening up like I was massive cramps every squat you've ever done in your life counts for this moment the cramps when I was like oh no I don't know if I'm going to make it there was that moment where I was like I'm going to at least a little bit in my pants maybe I just let a little prisoners out let a few a few hostages out then we can renegotiate once I get to the bathroom but I I managed to keep it together just right to that P where I was blow yeah you just hear Mike

145:54Goldberg's voice it's all over it's all over um MCT oil though will make you yourself will you have to be careful if you have too much of it it will definitely it just Lubes up the old pipes and just releases the hounds but I it's probably a good thing because once it goes through like it blast Out Boy you feel great I've been taking healthier poops than ever lately with this new meat influx my body is just loving it it there so solid that every time now every time I take a poop you know when when you get the splash back I'm at 100 I get I'm at 100% slashback now have you have you ever like had your butthole open up enough just after it splashes it gets a little teardrop inside the B before a little bit comes out later when you tie your shoes do you still eat vegetables though are you still about totally totally you definitely look different I'm not bullshitting your face looks I haven't

146:52even had breakfast or lunch today so you look thicker like your face looks thicker you look healthier I feel better yeah vegans right now are so angry why didn't you stay the course you just didn't follow the right you didn't have enough quinoa on your diet what about avocados what about olive oil Ultra virgin it's been it's been a lot of fun to get back cuz I love food I'm I'm huge on food well you guys went to Fogo to Cha right that's where you broke your cherry which is that's meat lovers Paradise I've been too toow a couple times with you without eating meat salad bar salad it's amazing you could you could easily fill up on the salad bar with no meat whatsoever it's a great restaurant yeah those Brazilians know how to eat man the Chas Karas they're amazing that this if you don't know what it is there's Fogo to child Texas D Brazil those are the chains but

147:41there's a bunch of like independent chasar and a Brazilian style barbecue what it is is you have a chip and one side is green and the other side is red and when it's green they come over with these trays of meats like uh sausages and chicken wrapped in bacon and filet Manon and and um pic which is like top sirloin which is like the best one that's the best they hide that one all the time just so many people want it and there's the place used we used to go to that was called P where was that oh that's in Pasadena no no a Burbank Burbank right isn't there a place in Burbank called pic where was that I think it's in Burbank P I think there's a place in Burbank called pic but it's is it yeah same style of food it's so good yeah so they come over with these these pitchforks with meat on them these skewers with meat on them and they slice it off yeah that's the one on the

148:33right baby they hide it but uh if you like meat you got to go at least once it's it's so good though too they they figured out the right way to base it in front of a open fire you know they slowly cook it so good and it's unlike like a regular stick where they come over and they slice pieces on the outside and they put them on your plate and then they go back to cooking it again like they base it again with their whatever they have that it's like a salt and some sort of an oil to it yeah I hav had bread in 13 days look at you healthy crazy steak well you came to the com store the other night we were all saying that yeah I could clearly see it you were glowing the other day I even went home and mentioned to my girlfriend I'm like Brian looked good today did you say that while you're inside her and she goes uh she goes what do you mean and I go he's been working out for like 24

149:20hours and he already looks better she goes that's impossible I go no I just think Brian was so unhealthy that literally if he doesn't poison himself for like a few hours you start to like turn into uh Tom Hardy or something dude it's great you you're doing so much good now you're taking care of yourself you're you're on this like kick that's lasted through the entire month of December or January rather you you're doing your podcast now like so much good shit's happen that's awesome yeah it's awesome man yeah it's amaz how's it feel how does it feel John B Ramsey you know you feel lighter what does that mean I don't know what does John B Ramsey mean what does that mean exactly good no I'm just Kidd I don't know what that I don't I don't know what that doesn't make any sense he's laughing to cover up his own I don't psychosis he's like the joker now from

150:14Batman that joker photo I made of Tony uh that's crazy have you seen that photo that's like of my dreams is I want to play I talk about it on stage yeah yeah yeah I I really want to be like the next Joker I think I think Nichols what Nicholson did is amazing and I think what uh Heath Ledger did is great and uh I'd love to eventually get to the point to where down the road you know I could be like a young Joker that's totally possible especially if they keep making more Batmans and I think like especially if I keep growing as a popular comedian I think it's like a cool twist like you know marvel hires actual comedian to play The Joker yeah who better who better you stand up comedian turn look at you insult comic feel it turned evil yeah dude you're you're born for that Rome you'll die first before Happ Jesus bro I we should be come on Brian Brian if you break your diet you you were

151:10doing so good in this podcast what happened why go why go bad on us no no Tony you've always felt like you've you're going to die young and stuff but you always talk about like like you have notes on me over there what are you checking doing she's checking your Wikipedia yeah there it is Brian made that to promote the you more like a zombie well that's the Jared Leto Joker that he made that's not the oh well Jared Leto's Joker look pretty cool too so he's the Joker in The Suicide Squad right he's another one that got he got ripped for that why cuz the Joker is a bad The Joker is the best bad guy of all time why did he get ripped for it uh you got to look that up um because uh because the Joker is a bad like nor J Leto is a bad as an actor totally come on but crazy there's a thing where like he shows himself working out in a in a Superman shirt or something anyway uh what's the problem

152:05with that people just look for to complain about no it's it's a good thing it's amazing like he's pumped whoa that totally could be you Tony totally especially now with your new diet lifting little tush what kind car is that what is that is that a real car what is it Pontiac Jamie see they're probably introduce some new car they do that sometimes click on it let me see is that an acuros x no that's a Jaguar right what is it does it say it's so cool I know what that is Vador G35 what is it a Vador a Vador huh it's a Vader Is that real oh okay some car I never heard of huh it's so neat Tony hinchliff you're starting to make some money now you're balling G to get a new automobile Tony HFF you GNA get a new vehicle um maybe maybe I could see Tony in a Corvette oh God I'd love it new ones yeah no back seat sorry sorry your friends can't come I want one so bad but I have to be smart no don't

153:10look at you look at you for a little bit for until at least until Friday January 13th I want to spend when you new Netflix special comes out is that what it is the 13th is that what I said 15th two days away how did I get it wrong both times by three I said 18th and 13th 1:5 2016 by two I can't even count and uh a lot of uh cool guest appearances in it like uh um Joey Diaz brings me on stage and Brian Redban I high five because he goes in uh and goes up after me while check drop happens and stuff CU it was a real show right and uh do you um did you feel more because it was at the Ice House place you performed countless times oh yeah no doubt about it I envisioned it two weeks out when I booked it with by the way super huge shout out for the Ice House Sean Sullivan over there two weeks out goes two weeks before I shot this he goes hey you want to headline the ice

154:07house is Saturday 7:30 I go yes and quick question would you mind if I taped it with one camera in an attempt to shoot a special and he goes absolutely that'd be awesome I go oh okay okay okay bye and like you know the rest is like history he was there that night in fact well fun fact about that is that if you noticed when we saw the trailer there was one guy that sort of like walked off that's Sean which I think is so cool it's like a perfect little tiny tiny tiny Cameo you have you'd have to really pause it at the right moment to see him that's awesome but he was so responsible for it happening and uh wait what was the qu oh yeah being comfortable at the ice house is with the two weeks notice that I had I literally I'm not even kidding or exaggerating in my dreams at night was like envisioning it and I'd like you know it would be a nightmare or a great dream depending on like but I

154:55was like picturing it and during the day I was picturing it and where I wanted the steady cam to be because you know Ben wolfenson my really good friend amazing director directed the beginning of uh Ari shaffier special and uh and um Trip Tank on Comedy Central uh but like you know this was my idea shooting it all in one shot it's a great idea it's a great way to also to capitalize on that small Club right well I knew I had to do something special to really stand out you know what I mean because I don't have you know TV fame or anything like that that so many you know networks and everything looks for do you really think that anybody's going to view it based on the fact you shot it in one shot I think Netflix I think that's why they got it I don't think they're like you know let's let's take this nobody out of nowhere and you know what I mean stop you're funny stop that's you would

155:47have got it anyway if you did that thing at the Irvine Improv you you would have still sold it to Netflix you're very funny you're very funny you're doing great and you have heat behind you you have heat behind you and you're connected to a network of other comedians that have heat behind them yeah like that's another thing is I'm so honored to be up there with sigura uh you know who just who's came out two weeks ago and is amazing and everything about it's amazing B's whole National Persona changed like people really became aware of who Burr is Burr was always like peing he was always like ramping up becoming more and more famous every year but once his Netflix special came out and it was probably his best special to date he just smashed it and then became a guy who sold out Madison Square Garden and that's that's that easily could happen to you it could

156:29happen to seura too sigur's new special is even better than his other one he's smashing it right now he's killing it that it's it's the best platform for comedy it's an amazing time that we live in to where like that can happen a guy that's never done the Tonight Show or I've never done standup on TV at all I'm starting first time ever in the Netflix hour yeah I mean think about seura too same thing he doesn't have like TV credits he's selling out theaters you know over and over again they keep adding shows to his Comedy Works this week how about Sebastian two shows Thursday two shows Friday three shows Saturday they just added a midnight for him Denver Comedy Works selling out Comedy Works yep yep well he's a monster right now well he's a legit like worldclass National headliner right now and it's all from you know working and grinding and doing uh specials on the Internet it's amazing

157:21yeah and from podcasting you know getting connected to people through podcasting huge his podcast too him and his wife your mom's house they have this tour that they do on the road with it and it's it's a whole thing of its own like they have all these little like things that people look forward to like Tom or black like they'll play Tom or black they'll play like they have little games that they play when Brian and I do the road like when we uh when we go to ones that we drive to like if it's a San Diego or a phoenix or a San Fran or Sacramento which is like the majority of the places that we do go uh it's the only podcast that we listen to and we crack up hilarious you just laugh and laugh and laugh it's the it's the funniest podcast it's the only podcast that I really listen to the last one I did with Tom the last podcast I did with Tom was one of the best ones we

158:08ever did it was hilarious like the entire time we're just laughing and gagging and slapping the table for three hours just me and him like cracking each other up he's just such a great guy he really is and he you know he's just the best he gave me a call yesterday and uh gave me some cool advice and just is a great great guy and he and because you know this Netflix thing is also like a different path it's a it's unchartered territory and he's helping me out being like a cool big brother that's awesome to me as this whole thing happens and unfolds so I couldn't be luckier we're so lucky that something like Netflix exists because if you do a special on anything else like say if you do an HBO special They air it whenever they air it you know they might air it once they might air it twice they might air it a few other times they might air it randomly at 3:00 in the morning on some

158:57special night but with Netflix it's always there you just press Start you just press play that's the secret that's everything and with their amazing algorithms that people that would like it is are going to get a shot at it you know the everybody has a different screen when they turn theirs on based on what they watched and if they liked it and if they rated it and even if you don't rate things that still knows you that their algorithm is like world world world class it's really interesting so the the more that people would like you the closer you're going to get to their front page so yeah you know the the I didn't know this the ratings uh on Netflix movies like if it says like four stars or whatever that's not actually the rating or the movie it's what they think you would say the rating is so like yeah so like there was one movie I watched the other day and I was like how

159:45is it half a star that movie sucks so bad but it's really has a half a star and I was like oh wait that's if you look at somebody else's it would be like three stars and really yeah I didn't know that that's bizarre yeah it's really bizarre that doesn't seem like that doesn't seem kosher right right like a a star system should be kind of like what people think maybe they wanted to get that to avoid like a disgruntled personing like uh giving it like uh really bad reviews under a bunch of different fake names or the opposite like maybe a company that like is like we've there's been that before where someone put put out an independent film and then someone hacked into the iTunes comment section and it's all just overwhelmingly positive like fake reviews of this terrible movie and then someone in the comments will post these are paid reviews like this is not real this movie is terrible

160:35I've seen that before yeah me too so maybe that's what Netflix is trying to avoid Rotten Tomatoes is pretty guilty of that in general I think it's like there's some it's hard yeah it's hard when you got a comment system people don't hack it you know people like they've hacked iTunes ratings they figured out how to uh get the higher ratings and pretend they have more downloads so have like multiple different like their services that'll like download your just to like juice up your ratings and and add comments and like the algorithms that someone like iTunes has they're like easier to manipulate because they're based on downloads they're based on um comments and they're based on new people so if you just have a bunch of new people sign up and then they leave a comment and they download it it'll jump you up in the rankings it's kind of interesting how they're but I guess you

161:23can only sign up for iTunes so many times though right so that's probably how they avoid it right mm and it has your public name on there so it's like even if you use your account you don't want to be like this sucks and then have your real name on there yeah yeah that's true maybe iTunes is the right way but it seems like the right way I don't know man I don't think there's anything like the Netflix might have a point there though like in your circle C of people that you like what did those people think it was starwise versus in the circle of like seven-year-old people that live in nursing homes what did they think of Bob and Dave's new show you know yeah the are we talking about talking business shop talk algorithms yeah algorithms all right let's wrap this up let's bring it home um Friday um Tony hinchcliff will be with me in Atlanta in hotlanta at the

162:15Tabernacle the is sold out if you did not get tickets so sorry we'll be back but uh that night Tony's one shot will appear magically on Netflix in your Q that's Q you e download it enjoy let a know one shot one shot five five keep that five stars and um then we'll be in Tampa on Saturday night and then we'll be at the UFC on Sunday excited about that one yeah that's a big one that's a big world championship Dominic Cruz versus TJ Dill Shaw that should should be off the hook and a good end of the weekend for us you know have a couple great shows and then head on there Brian Redban who's your guest this week uh I'm still finalizing it but I'll let you I'll announce it soon it's Incognito ladies and gentlemen we keep it on the DL until we release but you do them Fridays right I usually do every Friday I have two episodes uh one with Sage Francis and Sovereign and one with

163:07MC Christ and Christian Mingle it's called what Brian redband do it's on iTunes subscribe rate and review help me out boom and January 22nd and through the 24th me and George Perez will be at the Brea Improv so boom okay beautiful that's Des Squad TV you can get information for that kill Tony is every Monday pretty much every Monday at the comy store we have our biggest one ever this Monday the one the one that everybody's been asking for the biggest one ever I'm not kidding I'm not allowed to announce it because we're going to announce it on the guy who it is podcast tomorrow my so you're going to know who that is tomorrow afternoon and also real quick Carolines from headlining New York City for first time ever February 5th and 6th the week after we do the Beacon Theater together Carolines on Broadway February 5ifth and sixth help me out in New York

163:59City I need to fill those seats and uh Beacon Theater I think it's sold out if it's not sold out it's basically sold out almost so if you're thinking about getting some tickets jump on that that's uh end of the month all right you thanks everybody much love bye-bye big kiss m