Bert Kreischer, Tom Segura: Sober October 2

00:01five four three two one dude it seemed like we just did this it does feel like pretty recent is it a year ago I know no I don't know it's already October I'm scared let's just spark up a joint what no lunch one of them backwards now one of these backwards these are so good just melon just whoa you know everyone was commenting on your blunt rolling technique after the Elon Musk thing I don't roll them I know they were like I knew that and they were like Oh what did you Pete just he could barely roll a blunt I was like it's professional role it's a pretty real good bond you can't smell so good they taste good too those are those are phenomenal I'm a blunt man yeah I know it's probably bad for your lungs but there's something about the tobacco gets you a little high up and then the marijuana sort of like Springs you out and it puts you in like a new dimension yeah that's that's a good one

01:00I'm gonna get blitz grieved after Halloween kids oh yeah imagine how high you'll get to after 30 days last year I did I did comedy I had no idea what I was talking about while I was on stage I was like oh my god just four hundred people in this room I almost thought of bringing in all my marijuana and booze in here like that like why it like it like in the Old West we need to turn in your guns so much marijuana it's ridiculous I know it's crazy I keep a bunch we got the stack of whiskey yeah and then we got another cabinet full in the back yeah you could get up hard for you here in this place we're gonna get ripped on that yeah we did the podcast on the day back yeah those were fun those why there's so much more fun when he's high scary and grumpy when he's sober he's such a grouchy dog like legit angry like he could joke around about anything when he's high when he smokes weed

02:00but then when he's not smoking weed you're like wait wait wait are you serious it's obsessed you remember when you texted the three is he like Ari I don't think you're doing the right classes do you gonna have to do them again I love you I called you right he called you upset oh yeah yeah he's upset I remember if we texted or called but I go Ari I love you I'm just joking I'm sure you done but one thing about Ari is this is one thing you could say after all the welting talking on the nonsense ari has rock-solid ethics yeah yeah yeah rocks aww yes he does like if Ari says gonna do something he does it like so if I'm with him and saying I don't think he doing it yeah like I don't really mean right right you're just kind of you're poking at right so if you're out there Ari and you hear this I'm only around I know you're doing it he can't 'talking you for the next thirty one day he came

03:03to our class for that last one he was like there's so much easier than my class can't believe you questioned how hard my class 1 and we didn't Encino yes he was like this is so easy compared to what I've been doing in New York look it's all easy if you go easy I guess yeah that's all how you do it if you if you do hot yoga and you go 100 percent every pose yeah it's hard doesn't matter who's teaching yeah it's my buddy this is guy that I go to vodka yeah I have a drinking problem legit drinking ok there's this guy that I go to yoga with who is he's it seems like he just doesn't ever go 100% he's sort of just kind of like you know you put your arms above your head he always does this he's never doing this for a stretch to extend his palms neck connected when you do that it's hard right if you just kind of half-ass every pose and do this yeah you can get

03:56through a 90-minute class you're not doing the same thing so yeah if you do if you do any of your go like a group training class somewhere you can see people and and there's like that 63 year old lady who's like doing it with you she's on her knee if she's like this is hard and talking at a normal rate you're like you're not you're not doing it yeah I got in trouble at my CrossFit class because I just getting pissed I was throwing up every day I was throwing up every single day I was also drinking a coffee right before it started so it's throwing up coffee every single day and one day I just snapped I go hey the black guy is not doing his burpees the black guy they said yo that's what they said hey man we don't talk like that he's got a name I go I don't know it but I'm pointing to him he's not doing his burpees here and then the joke I made out of it

04:39was hey Wendell the gay guy says I can't call you the black guy but you're not doing your CrossFit I like the idea that we're doing this in our general heartrate sense yeah cuz you can sprinkle it in I want to go to a spin class okay and by the way that is how if you want to like get a real bump in those points it's about a bump and heart like sustained accelerated heart rate so a spin class is gonna get you a bunch mmm that that you know I mean it's it's not like Joe I don't know if you know this he's like a wave better athlete than you but it doesn't mean that's we put in that it doesn't mean doesn't mean that he'll automatically beat us because he's in better physical condition you can actually beat him if you're going to push it all the time what is it in your brain that makes you do that cuz like we just looked at your Emmy peas and you burnt a thousand calories is there some

05:33sort of I talked to Pat McAfee one time he said it's about explosivity it's about rape and murder my head's filled with it stopping rapists and stopping murderers and killing child molesters that's what I think about killing bad people when you workout yeah that's what I do when I get tired if I get tired I think about like saving someone I care about I think about stopping someone who's trying to murder someone I love that's what I think about I love your face I'm not kidding I think about my second wife protecting people I care about didn't you tell you tell me one time um you know if it's hard you'll go up pretend like someone's trying to kill me yeah yeah so you're like pretending yeah I don't have words for that that's what you got to do because that's that's look if you think about worst-case scenario you're tired and someone's trying to kill someone you care about and you

06:28don't have enough energy to stop them but do you think you learned that switch in like Taekwondo Taekwondo uh yeah I learned it from martial arts for sure yeah yeah sure yeah yeah because that's the scariest place you could ever be like the scariest place you could be is life and death so like just putting yourself and oh just wanna lose weight okay good yeah that's good but that's not you're not gonna save yourself like you got you got to put yourself in like animalistic fury that's how you got it you got to put yourself you got to put yourself in this state of just 100% effort yeah I was pegged at like 180 177 beats per minute for the last 35 35 minutes that's really that's really got to do it see I you know I that David Goggins guy got in my head with uh just embrace the suck yeah I can get there right going just like like doing the marathon I just

07:26go this is where I'm gonna be for the next 5 and 1/2 hours this is where I'm at and is what I'm doing and I can I can wrap my head around that I don't know if I can wrap my head around like I don't know the explicit sympathy of it and going like I'm gonna save my family and then getting but that might not work for you but there still could be a different tactic that works for you you know I mean like no I mean I mean even like that going that hard to where your body is completely giving out there's part of me that goes hey man what are we doing here you know like ya know what I'm working out I go it's really hard well you got you definitely have to protect your health right like the last thing you want to be doing this and having a heart attack that's always my fear as I go easy buddy yeah easy buddies a good way to look at it yeah but I've been doing that kind of working out forever

08:10that's might work out yeah you always go crazy yeah I go crazy don't you ever think have you ever thought about someone who like really disrespected you right before you lift yeah I mean like right before is that that's all that happens online don't ever I've gone to like a moment you know where you're like I wish I would have cracked that dude in the face and then right before right before a set no I have not and I know I'm definitely know what I want I know who I'm thinking about I'm gonna try it all right don't say any name yeah what is here I'm with in order to like to just really get yourself into that place you know you don't have to think about something that's terrifying and negative but to me that's like that's the ultimate position that where you're gonna need energy this is so silly that one the best shape I've ever been in is when I met my wife I was

09:05186 pounds Jaime type in skinny Bert repack and I had like side little oh bleep I'm going for that this year this month I'm really going I'm going hard this month I've gear I said to me I made it Bo deal with myself every day I'm gonna do 50 air squats and 50 pushups I was gonna do 100 look at that look at skinny Bert but you were stud that was Matt it was when I was in spin class look I'll skin your faces well your severe face was super skinny after last year's sober October that photo that we did you post it that you sent to us yeah look at my skinny face I'm going back I'm going hard this month I really am and I'm gonna because I'm gonna enjoy it last month I think last time I did it was out of spite I wanted to prove to everyone I could stop drinking this month I'm going into it having not drank probably a third as much as last year I mean meaning like I've drank

09:58three-quarters as much does that make sense mm-hmm and so um but when I was in spin class we had Bob from The Biggest Loser was our spin class teacher at crunch this is right yeah and the crazy miss Bob the coach he was amazing his inspiration was so connect he connected to me so quickly one time it's right before Thanksgiving and I'm looking good I'm gonna go to a wedding my buddy's wedding and I'm on on the bike he goes all right everyone out of the saddle is gonna be on the saddles for two minutes and I'm like this and then he says you're going huh I felt like he was talking to me because you're going home for Thanksgiving you're gonna see all the people in high school all the people that didn't want to have sex with you do you want them to want to have sex with you this weekend and I was like yeah he goes then stay out of that saddle stand that saddle and

10:44earn your Thanksgiving dinner and go out to bars the night before and say I won't you I'm better than you but I'm just going on I want them to me I want them to me I am bi think of that bomb I think of the hard in the paint isn't that funny man that bike motivated so many comedians well you know just being a loser in high school and I'll show you guys I'll show you there's people that take them that takes them straight to their deathbed you're still like yeah they're still like yeah Sarah seventh grade this is for her yeah my motivation is I think I'm getting to the bottom of it is I want people to like me people love you I know I know but I think it's on I do that an unhealthy way thank you no thank you YouTube you to liking my special is the best compliments I've gotten you worked hard I didn't you don't know thank you very much everyone it's secret time he's

11:41streaming right now but Joe Rogan special star drops tomorrow tonight tonight at midnight I saw that do that trailer is one of the best trailers I've seen for a special in a long time I worked hard at it I hope people like it some people gonna hate it but that's normal I've worked at it as hard as anything I've ever worked on ever for sure this hour yeah yeah I went hard on this one are you feeling to go to get done with something I did the best I could do I did the best I could do for sure a hundred percent I couldn't have done you better because if I did any more the only thing that you could say is like maybe a little more time like maybe a month or two more time on some of the bits like but you never know when that is you know it's like there's a there's a there's a sort of like a period where they're developing and then they mature and then they're solid and

12:27then you never know Ike are they done or is there like one more tag line that I'm missing here because you know how like sigh it's always the case you you film and then right after you're done you have a brand new tagline that makes the bit follow us it's always like the next Saturday the next week I wrote that did that special the next week I'm in I'm in Michigan doing some theater and I have that Alexa bit about Alexa talking back I talk to Alexa like I talk to women and whatever the bid is and the next week I write the bit I we said a fleshlight attachment for Alexis already shut off the way I want to like goddamn it was that goddamn it your mind doesn't open up your mind doesn't open up all the way until it's like doesn't have any pressure yeah so it's like the pressure is gone and then you're like oh I can take it here I can take it there and you're like I wish I

13:13could think like this before I record but you can't you know there's things that we've talked about this the after the specials over like I don't have any material and I don't have anything to think about that terrifying but you always find it like over time and then before you know I'm like wow I got a new hour yeah it happens it happens and it happens quicker the more you've done it yeah yeah because you know you can do it that's one of the sad things about these guys like I was talking to a guy the other day like how long you been doing comedy he's like seven years I go how much time you have he's like twenty minutes like oh that's ruthlessly unacceptable it's terrible I go you're lazy yeah you've been doing comedy for seven years you have 20 minutes and out of those 20 minutes ten you should throw away right that's crazy that's what happens they're not doing it

13:56enough you're not doing it enough they don't get enough sets and this you know it's hard you do an open mics and when you're doing open mics everyone sucks so you look like a hero if you have anything that's remotely humorous and say yeah but then you try that remotely humorous stuff and you do it on at the Ice House and people like huh yeah like you go on between you and you and you know you do this that he's doing an open mic night and people just not having it so a real sets are so different than well yeah I mean if you know if you don't get in front of real crowds yeah and it's not you know it's not entirely up to you obviously when you're starting out it's hard to get what do you mean real crowds like a real show a professional you know that's why it's invaluable like even if you give somebody an opportunity to come on your show for them like a up-and-comer

14:45because they don't normally have real audiences yeah it's giant for them it's a wake up call oh yeah then they're like holy this is a real show yeah people have expectations they pay money when you go to one of those open mic nights people are just drunk and everyone's terrible so you're just laughing it basically anything yeah yeah I mean someone can kill but how bad they are people are just like slam meter gentlemen almost career that yeah Peter Chen who's a guy who is so bad I Chris McGuire was auditioning for Mitzi and Peter Mitzi thought it was funny because he was so hilarious she thought it was funny that one of the worst comics in LA don't pull his picture up that's hosting the open mic night really yeah she thought it was funny and but I knew that McGuire was gonna have to audition for mencius so I said that so I called it the store said I'm hosting

15:45I said I'll host open mic nights ok the open mic night just just to keep him from hosting it that's great so you did that as a save for your buddies yeah yeah because I knew he was gonna you know this you there would be too much to address and you have three minutes it'd be too much too much chaos to address I hosted this show as a favor one times ended up snapping on a lady thanks why did you dude cuz I arrived it was a showcase for Montreal and I arrived at the show before it right so there's like a seven o'clock thing and then the nine o'clock showcase and they asked me to to host it and the and a lady at the seven o'clock show at the earlier show is in like the front row just yelling out drunk and she's older and she's like yeah like tagging every comics thing commenting on it and I'm like oh and I'm just like so irritated I'm like well at least you

16:41know this show is almost over so the show ends you know people leave or get ready start a second show I look she's staying in her seat and I was like you got to be kidding me so second show starts and I'm already you're primed you know like if you watch something that that gets you agitated and then you're like you're like you're primed for it so like it started and it was like I said like my first joke and she said I go you shut up right people in the audience don't talk to her like that and I'm like you don't know what she's doing like so and then it just went yeah and then I'm like give it up for this guy what's good Montreal it was terrible but then she ended up leaving her friend came back in and while I'm on stage goes did you call her a like in the show and I go yeah she cuz that's my friend and I go well then you're a too she leaves and her son comes back her son comes

17:52Bonanomi talk to you for a second and I was like all right and he looks serious too and he was like did you call my mom a then I go which one is she this lady over here so I go outside and I talked to basically the lady who was the friend should I go she goes what is going on what I go your friend has been disrupting yelling out people drunk belligerent she goes you you call her this you called me that and I go alright well I'm sorry I called you that but I'm not sorry I called your friend that she is what she is and she's like you can be a nice person I see it in you yeah yeah I was like I was like yeah I go get your friend out of here no one sir here okay and she was like okay and then her son was like thank you that was a very disrespectful to my mother I was like okay men we're good I got to go back and host this disaster of the night that's a train wreck well some people just think

18:57that if you're saying something they disagree with it they don't think that they need to just like wait it out they think they can stop you in the middle yeah the problem for me in particular Cal OTT of my bits start off one way like they look like they're gonna be way more outrageous than they are and then I turn them around sure but when I'm starting it off and then you you just attack like like you're up the bit you don't even understand what I'm doing it's the whole thing about freedom of speech in a weird way I had a joke about pedophilia I just started it this woman who was a fan of mine and everything she just goes no stop and then now it looks like I'm Pro pedophilia looks like I'm in the kids now those people shouldn't be you know allowed it shows because they're not even letting they're not even letting the the the art form take place yeah you can't you craft it something

19:49you need like let it play out you can't eat that I mean you just they should just kick you out you just like you're up the whole experience for the whole crowd because like a guy like Brian Holtzman would literally never be able to perform the audience is filled with people like that so people like you and I who enjoy him we would never be able to see him because his whole act is saying outrage like that that absolutely he doesn't really mean right but the funny thing is the twists and the turns right getting you to laugh at the other funny thing is is that he's supposed to act like he does mean it yes like that's what's fun it's like that people are like always like you know they get super upset about this thing it's like he said this and yeah but don't you get that yeah it's the performance I used to have this joke about the Second Coming project you know the Second Coming

20:36project is mmm when they first started around with genes and cloning they there was a group of radical Christians that had this idea I think it might have avenged it might have been eventually but what their idea was they were gonna take some genetic material from the Shroud of Turin and they were gonna clone Jesus and so my bit was what if you cloned Jesus and it doesn't come out good like you know they had to do Dolly the sheep like 30 times until they got it right like what if what if you what if you clone Jesus and he comes back handicapped mm-hmm and I had this whole up thing about them following around this handicapped Jesus and instead of turning water into wine turns like dog into cookies this lady this lady goes next subject oh and she's sitting in the in the front row so I I did the bit to her I just all right look to the eyes and I kept doing it you know by

21:43the power of Christ that compel you and I was doing it was a horrible bit you know yeah we're talking like 1998 or some like right right those clunky anyway but uh she's literally saying next subject oh yeah which is I'm never gonna never gonna listen to you like what no way that's like when you tell someone shut the up yeah why would they shut the up yeah nobody that doesn't work nobody just nobody you want them to shut the up but you have under snow understanding of the power persuasion or the fact that other people aren't you like you're not in control of other people so if you tell someone shut the up like that doesn't work this is just a poor way of you underst you don't understand human beings right like you haven't thought this through you just know what you want you're selfish little head and so you say it to them this is how most arguments and most

22:34fights get started because people don't take into consideration at all the fact that they're communicating with another human being has their own set of emotions their own life their own problems their own ego it's true there's a surefire way any comedy show to hear more of the same yeah topic it's like next yeah next subject yes on the internet yeah that's a and that's what I I almost I sometimes I preface it where I go hey you got like if you don't like what I'm about to say so I have a couple things now that are a little I think too far I could just talk to me after the show don't don't even do that just don't interrupt things I've had people change my mind on bit like I had a bit that worked too under my podcast very well and then I tried it in the club and this black chick came up to me and she's like it's a really up joke that was like they're super racist like the black

23:25guy at CrossFit racist or really I don't know I don't know it didn't bother me but but the black chick Indies he was like I love the show all of it I just think and I was like a part of me is like is it a bit that's in the special that no no no no no no and so I couldn't and and it's it's like it's almost like it I didn't want I wanted to tell it but I could figure it out to work it out but I'm gonna have to deal with all the instead all the steps and I was like yeah I'm like it's I'm not gonna die on the hill right but I don't really talk about race much in my act so I'm like I don't really I'm not gonna die on that hill for that bit no to do with a bit like that you got to look at it as if you're someone trying to deconstruct it like you're someone who's trying to attack that bit see for me a bit works best the very first time I do it and then and then every work in

24:19bit I do around that to like take it apart and figure out another way to approach it that's where I start it up it's like the first time I say it I go whoo let's hope we can find that again that's I'm the polar opposite no no occasionally I'll say something good the first time but most of the time when I say something that seems like a sprout or a seed but do you how much time do you spend listening to recordings a lot hmm a lot now I look back for that last special I did it obsessively yeah and then I got into it I got into recording and now what I do is I will bit out if I don't have video I like to have video because I think the video aspect really lets me know why things weren't like right I this bit where I might do my eyes a little different and it was killing and I saw it on video I got a make sure to do that but um for me it's that I gave it's almost like I'm always

25:09trying to chase to get back to that first time I told it right that feeling yeah I like to clip it out and then put chunks of like alright here's what the Starbucks bit is here's this is and then look at the different ones and go oh why did that work better than this one but um but I'm also I've gotten really into editing videos and stuff so it's a lot easier for me than it was when I first started now I'm just like oh real quick sync up audio and because I'll do audio and video different tracks sync them up and then just clip them out put them in folders audio and video what do you mean what I do I got a little nerdy about it I take a H 4 6 & 8 is that an audio recorder it's a it's a zoom recorder zoom h4 6 and then I'll take my camera put it in the back or if I can or I have the club run run video but I like to sync up clean audio and clean video that

25:55way if I do have something fun like Hannibal got onstage with me other night and I was like ooh I got all this that's I could definitely put online if I'm gonna want to do that - Hannibal I'd have to run it by him first but I got real clean audio of it oh that's interesting so you are doing it through the soundboard no I do it through the h4 six is like the best it's is and I have a basically a surround sound mic on that each for six it's bigger for six zoom zoom h4 six right or is it just the eight-six oh it's a the h6 at 8686 the other ones the h4 n and it's zoom yes it's about the size of it's about the size of this box like a tail but they make a zoo and looks like yeah yeah they make a zoom that's smaller that I take with me now that fits in my pocket it's like the size of a lighter that's really great yeah pull that up see what that looks like total zoom you what I like about doing

26:49it on my phone though is that I could I have them always with me all the time yeah and then right I sink it up in my car on the way to the gig that's what I did the other night to listen on the way there new stuff helps giant on the way out you go like that because I like the I like the puzzle solving aspect of putting together sets you know I mean when you go like man like why does this want to do it forth it kills but if I do it fifth it's garbage you know I think you try to like figure out well maybe this needs to be punched up maybe this should move here I like doing that I like figuring that out yeah there's always those mystery punch lines that you didn't think we're gonna be a punch line crushes like what the is what are you laughing at I don't get it like what happened there due to the time that you guys were in the back of the room and I said I used to think

27:33Anne franking Helen Keller the same person and I didn't think that was funny at all and you're like please stop that's a bit I was like no that was that a stand-up on the sustainable this body I said I'm on the spots of the most useful for cool thing yeah super okay so which one is I've got the h6 I've got the h4n and then the h1 n is the ones that take with me the h6 is the larger one that's like a Taser looking thing and then which is the one you take with you but there's one and that's really little what's the comparison in the sound between h1 and and h6 a big jump in my opinion yeah yeah Jamie should be the same well so I would it would be it should be the same microphones the age six is just gonna lie to do six tracks that's what the six is yeah I love you just six inputs this was probably just one track or maybe it's because it's left and right two microphones Oh interesting that

28:21one's a great man I take that with me and you it shows you how much time you have you put a 64 gigabyte mini SD card in and you get like a hundred and eighteen hours of recording how's the bad stuff do you do I go through batteries pretty quick but if you use lithium batteries it's not that bad so if you do a mini SD card you could take that mini SD card and put it if you have a phone like I got this Galaxy Note and it has it takes up to one terabyte of storage yeah is that new yeah but it takes an SD card yeah shut the up yeah it takes an SD card it takes up to one terabyte of storage it's phenomenal yeah that's phenomenal there used to be that they were like way inferior to iPhones it's not the case anymore in fact I think like look how big that screen is so pretty yeah that's great who makes that Samsung I see the the fingerprint reader is instant and it has a pen where

29:26you could write on the lockscreen mmm so on the lock screen you can take notes and write on the screen I haven't written in my job really and forever I feel like whoa that's really cool and then this also works as a remote control so if you're playing music if you're playing music on this thing while you're playing music this will start and stop your music it's funny he's gonna stomp out your iPhone right now I don't know man I'm trying to figure out what to do I've always had all those go to that same phone no but the other thing about the new iPhone that Jamie was telling me is that you can you can have two different phone numbers were you telling me that no Brian was you could have two different phone numbers on the new line yeah takes like a second card so say like if you have a business line and a home line right and you take that SIM card out for the business side or

30:24you disable the business line and you like you so say like if you have a phone that only like your best friends you I have and then the next is like agents of other yeah but are you just set up a whole decoy number for like people you don't want to have your number that's good yeah but you can also do something like that with what is that thing there's a Google Voice right doesn't Google Voice have some like that yeah you can have a separate that's just that you can have that rerouted to your if you ever have like a business line kind of thing Lily look at this this thing works as a remote control so check this out I'll crank it up you take pictures with it too right yeah so you're using that yeah yeah box-cutter Pasi yeah how many those pens you get like ten no it's perfect it charges its bluetooth no it syncs up to your phone maybe one of those guys a burner phone

31:36well it's $1,000 you wouldn't really want it as a burner phone it's kind of primal phone yeah I'm leaning towards it as my main phone I really am I mean I'm gonna say the thing about the walled garden of iPhones is you just get used to that ecosystem yeah right now my my zone is all on my iPhone this thing is still sweaty touch it if you want yeah yeah we all the drinks let me see if I get that murdered sweat and inside me you just gotta think like after someone you love so wait let's let's talk about so for the month I think rage I think of killing coyotes with my bare hands I think of I think all kinds of crazy I'll tell you what I'm gonna I'm not even around I'm going to find my inner voice that speaks to me when I need that explosivity find your dark place that's easy access for me men so someone said why is it so why is it so difficult to Tom for Tom for sober October he

32:51should take time off of thinking about murder and baristas know him and his wife have been doing this thing where you guys had like if you murdered somebody would you turn me in to the cops yeah she was like a hundred percent I was like are you out of your mind she goes well was it an accident I'm like no I just told you that I killed somebody and I got the body in the trunk and no one knows she's like you're a psycho I don't know what you're gonna do you're gonna kill me next I'm like why would it kill you next she's like why'd you kill this guy Mike is he pissed me off it's like it's you know yeah I killed somebody I guess yeah if I'm like just sorry that lady a right so like got out of hand shouldn't have to go to jail forever you're my ace right you're not gonna turn me in she's like oh no you're unpredictable you that's what I thought don't worry you're not a writer guy you

33:38call me if you kill someone I've got the shovel ready yeah I'm taking to the next level if you come over with a body in the trunk and you go I got a body in the trunk I get to shovel and you come out and the body starts to get up out of the trunk I'll hit him with a shovel make sure he's desk what's up dude yeah yeah that was a close call where we going do you know much for me to have figuring out a place to go bury a body yeah be hard right yeah this is a conversation I wanted with her yeah and why wouldn't she do this I don't know man she's like I got babies now I like all right whatever yeah anyways I was just telling her she's like why did you kill a guy I was like all right let's hypothetically better called you a sorry kill him I killed the guy call me I told her he up my coffee yeah that's definitely excusable she said she said if it's somebody like hurt the

34:27family or something she was like then it's a hundred percent okay she goes but if you're like laying and wait just like premeditated hanging out like stalking people she goes dad I gotta turn you in I'm like I still think that's like you're my wife why the are you ratting on me hmm my wife would do the killing for me if someone broke into our house and no questions asked are No your wife had gone somebody to give her the gun and your wife you think you tell her she yeah but she'd be like all right you gotta go to the kids yeah yeah yeah man it's what's crazy is that used to be super normal to kill people well you mean like in the human history oh yeah 200 years ago yeah super normal people be the president that killed somebody yeah yeah it would be ki machen like um how normal though where it would be like it wouldn't even be worth bringing up that you killed somebody that day right

35:28I mean that's if you go back far enough it's like yeah people are just stabbed and wait wait there's there's battles on do you think they had their me to movement of killing people yeah when do people just like totally stop killing people I don't know how to be a movement where people like guys my dad was murdered and no one cares never and your dad was murdered so yeah that could hurt me too yeah this sucks man do you like the Dark Ages like coming out of them oh no no Dark Ages where you had no free will when I watch when that game of Thrones when they cut his dick off in Game of Thrones uh it clicked with the part of me where I went like helplessness the idea that you can't go this isn't fair you're not allowed to do that that helplessness it gave me a panic attack think about that when you're on the treadmill son mmm I'm cutting my dick off there you go cutting

36:14anybody's dick o.o think of that feeling just think of those kind of people out there like helplessness right and if you're you're tired you can't get away they when they bound I watched I watched the Marco Polo one thing and when they bound that little girl's feet is that the Netflix yeah I was great I didn't watch that I watched like one or two episodes it seemed okay it was grazing good well yeah I like history I like anything history that's why I like like I used to have on dan dan Carlin dude I love history and so Marco Polo really knew Genghis Khan apparently yeah and and so I think he knew Genghis Khan's son I think it's cool look oh yeah yeah yeah you're at school Khan yeah yeah I like history I'm a stickler for details though well the the cons you know the the raine was a long time I mean they during Genghis Khan's lifetime they estimated that he killed in his people

37:04killed ten percent of the world's population god they killed so many people that change the carbon footprint of the world they literally changed how many people were burning things they literally changed it in core samples like when you do a core sample on the earth the carbon footprint of human beings is less while he was alive because he killed one out of ten human beings that lived so he was eco it was eco friendly for it what he did yes he's very greedy that's a weird thing that Dan Carlin goes over in his wrath of the Khan series which is like one of the greatest history series of all time I can't recommend it enough it was like I wish I could go back to the day I found it yeah and you and I was like seven part series or whatever and I'd play it laying in bed fall asleep wake up and have to go find out where I left off so good and I'd have dreams of being

37:49a con I remember having a dream of learning how to shoot a pigeon in the air we had to wait for all four hoofs off the ground yeah I had it dream because I was listening to it sleeping dude I had the most I'm sorry keep going no good I had the motion of active what it was it when you dream in your wake lucid I had the most lucid dream last night yeah the most lucid dream I walked into this closet and I was I was on all fours I go I'm not awake I think I'm dreaming and I went I am dreaming I said interesting and I sat crisscross applesauce I said I want a beautiful woman to walk in the closet and a beautiful woman walked in the closet no way I'm gonna go down on her well and I was like yeah this is a dream there's no cheating my wife's in Vietnam let's go down on her I started going down on her and I was like where's this leading a I said I should her and then I was like oh yeah we're

38:41her and then I woke up I'm like god dammit I wanted to stay back in it she went red to your throat what were you saying about the Dan Carlin thing lives in Yukon remember sorry it's okay now you're gonna access your rage from from you know from one of those moments yeah access your rage thinking about how you couldn't her and you sucked her dick super upsetting that's like I said yeah I mean that I used to do little tricks like that to get myself to work out harder that's why that's why I have those in my head that was like when I you know I just used to always feel like if if if the worst case scenario happened and you needed energy like how tired are you really are you really tired are you tired like I'm tired I just need to stop or are you tired like I can't survive right now or are you tired like someone I love dearly is in trouble I can't help them think how tired are you

39:52mmm yeah that's think of that different levels are tired for sure yeah I'm gonna put those things up every day those images of these workouts every day and I'm doing two a day you don't do a day like that yeah me too I already did mine today I walk three miles I'm on that treadmill that we were talking about he stumps dreadmill you don't like that I dude it just is not enjoyable cuz it's hard but hardest wait so but that's the whole idea behind it's difficult we are going for a point total right this is that that's the move right well I mean there was - like what are the initial thought I had was like last year we had a it was 15 90-minute hot yoga classes right so the idea was I'm gonna do those - okay well the idea for that was that it was difficult but attainable right and you had to be disciplined to do it so now you're gonna do two workouts a day yo and 15 min I'm

40:47gonna count the yoga's one I'm doing the 15 hot yoga classes on top of all the other what is this number the 101 thousand five that's your calories burned oh really that's what I said when you walked in I've never once burn a thousand calories in a workout so if I take that knowledge it's a lot what's a normal workout bro I mean if you're doing an intense one no I mean here I'll show you I got a bunch of them locked here it says 98% of my agenda Jax it's gonna adjust yeah because it's 175 yeah it's gonna drink this cuz I'm an old it just thinks my heart rate doesn't go that high anymore doesn't know I'm on the juice the numbers start to sizzling it's 220 minus your age is your max heart rate okay well that's not real so yeah the older you are the lower your maxes well it's broken don't work right should be I don't think that's like the max you're all right I did a workout couple days

41:50ago 63 minutes 72 percent effort throughout 864 calories burned that's a lot 800 yeah that's a good workout yeah and then this one that was 62 minute workout so what you said yeah this is a 93 minute workout I burned 1,300 calories and that's real yeah yeah you could do that you could do that but you'd have to go hog whole hog this was kickboxing oh yeah yeah oh yeah you did a 90 minute kick back well no we did kick boxing for part of it and then uh so you got a trainer now yeah could you mr. Tommy moneybags couple of Netflix special sell out a few theaters you know I mean yeah he's not he's doing more they saw no theaters he's pre-sold sale sold on everything so everything hmm when you move into arenas hey speaking of arenas how was Toronto insane what is it like in the when you're doing 10,000 people ten thousand six hundred people with the Scotiabank it was an Air

42:47Canada Centre the UFC's back there in december i'm fact they're lazy there's like uh one time i was here alone talked ridiculous and then you see it like filled for events like that i mean it's where the raptors play it's it's so ridiculous it doesn't seem real but i gotta say the show felt like as intimate as a set at the store really not bullshitting yeah yeah yeah it was it was nuts real yeah yeah it was easy-peasy it was fun I mean it was literally like any other set I was I was nervous that I wasn't nervous yeah I was nervous that I was calming I did a lot of sets leading up to it like when I did I did you know constantly do sets but I did like I did four sets Thursday night I do daily yeah I did the Icehouse Wednesday so I did an hour plus the Icehouse I did three sets on on Tuesday night yeah I mean that's that's I think that's the key is you just got to do it yeah you

43:52have to just do so many that you're you're just just like working out you can't have any doubt you got to be just in shape I just sent you a video this is this shows you how ridiculous the crowd looked but when you're but you're also getting used to arenas because you get a few now it's weird fourth Arena fourth yeah maybe fifth I did did Columbus Vancouver I did Columbus I did Kansas City Kansas City was weird cuz it was outside that was weird it's like an amphitheater yeah crazy yeah so this is the biggest one this one was bananas I'm stressing 12 Tom and I are doing tours at the exact same time next year and I'm stressing doing theaters twelve twelve hundred in the theater going like it how do you like it gets normal man after a while but scoot scoot ahead just a couple of seconds and you can see it when I get onstage like like like watch when they

44:46turn the lights on this is what's really strange when you get to look out over the entire audience oh my god ridiculous is that easy that's madness that is that's wild man do that and there's an upper deck that he doesn't seem real and it just happened and you you did this and the same night bird did the forum not twenty thousand dollars nine thousand the Western forum the Great Western forum I don't know it is the thing online said it was twenty thousand people they're wrong cuz Dean Delray said it was nine thousand okay I think they just made a mistake but it's huge either way it's huge so I was thinking last night I know you I know that you're not like this I you know you're a little bit like this but to compare different times of comedy right and compare people and I don't like comparing people but has there ever been a time in comedy where this many acts

45:43were selling arenas this many acts were selling theaters and this many acts were selling out clubs I don't think so well well birds sold out Madison Square Garden which is way bigger than that Madison Square Garden I think is eighteen thousand it's true how about this Sebastian is ready to sell for he's already sold out three yeah he's they opened up a fourth show at Madison Square Garden just stop and think about that that's almost 80,000 people that's crazy yeah yeah that's like a NFL game stadiums there never been at this time like just look at theater comics just legit selling like multiple theater shows Eliza D'Elia you can name any of you write myself like Zee's there's so many comics selling theaters theaters that I don't think there's ever building room no there's never been a time like this never there's never been a time when this many comics are selling out

46:36multiple thousand see places and then there's the big first of all this Kevin Hart who's the biggest of the big he sells out 50,000 Cara Williams is actually a lot bigger than he is Katt Williams oh yeah I watched it on The Breakfast Club I'm joking I'm joking Williams just slam it was pretty fun i like that i like eccentric at best now kevin is the biggest monster biggest he's the biggest monster see he's like 50 he can sell 50,000 he sold 50,000 philadelphia when he did a special yeah there's only one of him but you know was what real close to him that people forget about is Larry the Cable Guy cuz Larry the Cable Guy was selling out football stadiums cuz Josh wolf was opening for him and Josh wolf took a picture and showed it to me he goes dude this was me on stage opening up for Larry the Cable Guy and you're like yeah yeah but people don't think about first of all Larry the

47:29Cable Guy is like the most humble look plus he's doing that in like the heartland so people will just dismiss it because it's not like an LA show right so those two guys I think I think Kevin Hart is numero uno he's number one yeah and then there's Chappelle could basically do anything he sells out math about the forum not the forum uh the Hollywood Bowl yeah yeah that's huge what is that 20,000 I don't know that when he found he has amphitheater offers like left and right mm-hmm then they'll you know they'll probably be like yeah you do a show it's like you'll get like 700,000 he'll be like I'm gonna do the belly room and then he does that because he likes it it likes the intimate shows well he's also I hate to use a term like this but he's a legitimate artist yeah he's just trying to do better work do better comedy and always evolved it he's one of the rare guys that could do a

48:21special and then the next week love a new hour yeah and somehow comes at works I know I mean he's just it's a supremely dedicated you know yeah so there's him there's Chris Rock can still sell out pretty big places if Louie came back I think he could sell out giant places giant bird sells out everywhere he wants to Burke could sell out he sold out Boston Garden which is like 18,000 yeah Wells Fargo Center in Philly how big is that 15,000 yeah that's crazy he could sell out all those places it's really hard to put in perspective and I think you guys can understand this but I mean you were selling out clubs what like six 17 years ago were you just doing clubs yeah for sure but you were when you were selling when you're selling out just clubs that's an achievement in this business I mean to sell out weekends and ad shows is a legit achievement that was so undermined

49:15when you go in and you San Jose or you do whatever and you sell out everything and then go oh my god like holy like there's there's so it's the possibilities are endless yeah well it's the Internet it's that's what it is it's people and then there's like this network of comics now that everybody knows about you know if you know about Bill you know about Joey Diaz you know about you you know about you it's like there's this thing going on now where everyone's sort of connected yeah that's never existed before and then a lot of these people not Sebastian he's one of the rare ones it doesn't but most these people have podcast Kevin Hart doesn't obviously but Kevin Hart has major movies Sebastian actually does one here's a podcast yeah I don't think they I don't think he can get to it like weekly but they definitely get Sirius XM I think you do it specifically for

50:06Sirius XM does it whenever you can get to think so yeah I think it's you've probably but you've been in this longest of the three of us but have you ever known a time in comedy when comics were more friendly like everyone's on the same team yeah yeah yeah this is a completely different thing I've talked about this before it's because I really believe it's because the internet and also because there's no things we're fighting for anymore like Tonight Show spots or stupid like that or sitcom auditions but in the past it was like there was three channels and there was the Tonight Show and the Letterman Show and everybody wanted to host The Tonight Show but Jay Leno was hosting it forever or Johnny Carson before him right and there was this competition between comics where they were just cutthroat and there's not that anymore now instead like radio shows right radio shows

50:55always on the other radio shows always they always the other morning shows in town this on them it was all on everybody that Mike Howard Stern was notorious for it yeah we do the opposite they'd start wars for ratings yeah but we do the opposite we all have successful podcasts but we all have each other on our podcasts we're all super friendly about it we all promote each other's specials we all we all hang out together like there's a camaraderie amongst comedians now it used to be like there might be some camaraderie amongst a couple but it would always go bad you know that and then there was never like a bunch of real headliners hanging out together like they are now yeah yeah I mean even the simplest things like D'Elia does something funny and I'll just put it I'll talk about it all my open tabs like half a million views yeah yeah and then you just go like I mean Julius might be

51:46one of my favorite people to watch these days because I just watched his Instagram ago what's he doing today he's ridiculous I can totally talk about all my open tabs and just share it with everyone yeah and just go oh great Brendan Schaub but like dude it's been funny did you guys see Dean Dale racing yeah I saw I saw cuz you posted that up yeah it's got okay so I put that on my Instagram is another good example I put that on my Instagram and it's got like 700,000 he could really sing yes like he can really sing like what like wait a minute I didn't know you could do that yeah it's got yeah 670,000 I told them I go send me the whole video man you you die go you're a murderer man yeah he's an inspiration man he did he didn't come in the night I did Conan and he was so excited and it was so amazing to see like burr showed up everyone was in the back of the room and he came off he's

53:28like that's my first lady as well and I think teens 50 yeah you got a respect to do he just started stand-up like 46 or something like that yeah it's very it's not it's not common it's not common to stick with it and keep getting better at it was so cool to be on the end of Conan with him Marin me Marin and Dean just three comics and that's booking there's no celebrity it's just three comics and Dean's the only one that did stand-up and just like oh yeah yeah that's what I saw someone said it was it felt like the greenroom with the main room in the Comedy Store yeah and birds love it let me tell you something right bill burr is living his best life right now he does these when he does the garden or when he does the forum they come in with the goddamn Comedy Jam and set up a thing and they do a full concert to an empty venue before the show they just do it for themselves

54:18bill told me he played from two to six thirty really yeah just played all day said I was exhausted he was I was worried I was too tired to do this show hilarious but that's how much fun he's having done what would you do if you did like would you set up a football game and play football yeah what would you do man I mean I would watch one I would just invite people to come watch a game that means flying helicopters yeah yeah playing drums I mean yeah yeah no he's no say this is an interesting time but this is also it shows you that because of all this camaraderie and that everybody's doing really well it shows you that that's possible that these the the old way of looking at things is the wrong way yeah that's a selfish famine thinking way is wrong now hired DJ bring me out to an event like that though if I was doing an arena really does that I think Chapelle does that Russell brought out

55:17MC sham out on I always bring up onstage to all his wide audience and a freestyled bees all the breaks and all the way people just sat there staring at Russell he's be brings like old-school legends everywhere well he'll do a gig and then after a gig he'll go to a club and DJ yeah he will he can actually DJ real DJ records and scratching and all that stuff he knows his yeah yeah he gets mad at those electronic music guys who call themselves DJ DJ yeah he's goes back like I've got to be able to get vinyl dig through the crates yeah flip it around yeah yeah yeah no he knows his stuff man he really does well he's another one that sells out he's at that other place that place that I was at in November oh really yeah he's at the Scotiabank oh yeah he's done that yeah bunch yeah that's his hometown selling out giant places there's so much of that going on like

56:11his seventh time doing that too oh yeah it's overwhelming man it really is and I you know what it is I had a guy say to me one time I think this is what it is I had a guy come up to me at West Palm was doing New Year's Eve drunk his both of us probably right we're both shirtless I'm doing the meet-and-greet and he goes you guys I need to talk to you for like two minutes and the already did I think you wanted to you know I get this a lot I go I'm good thanks why don't I and so I go they're like sorry gonna move along I'll give him two minutes and he's like he's like dude I'm a fan do you know what that means I was okay and he goes no no you don't listen to me when you do well I get happy he's like it makes me happy to see good things happen to you I will always be a fan I'll always support you and I as soon as he said that I thought it sounds super silly but I'm before I

57:01met you I was a fan like I'm when you when that when the Carlos stuff went down I got I would got behind your back and I was like I'm a fan of Jose I like what he's doing that's he's standing up for me and in a weird way being a fan of something so fun when you become a fan and I think what podcasts have done is allowed you to into become intimate with your fans and they support you in a way like people go out and they see a video of Deen singing and they go oh yeah I'm happy like well happy for him when you do 10,000 seats I think they're people going yeah man my guys winning does that make sense yeah no I know you're saying yeah because you're fans of each other - that's big - they also people realize like hey like you could be a fan of someone it doesn't mean that somehow or another you're like a lesser person you know what I mean yeah like I'm sure bill burr is a fan of Chappelle

57:49I'm sure Chappelle's a fan of Chris Rock like people are fans of other people's art auteur is I think in the past that wasn't the case it was not it was about separate camps yeah it was like I'm in this you're on that side which is so dumb so dumb because you can also it's like you know you can like you can like one type of music the most but still enjoy other music don't nobody that when the internet opened up all these possibilities that's when it happened probably it seems like it to me yeah I think was podcasting yes like podcasting I guess yeah that is the Internet I'm sorry I was thinking of YouTube for some reason but like can you imagine dice and Kinison they hate each other hey veto that was the way it worked I was the bullet hole at the store oh the belly room store that's cos Sam Kinison brought a gun and shot the sign - delet dice know that he was gonna shoot him

58:38he didn't just pull out a gun he pull out a gun and shot a sign it's really crazy yeah they did they just fixed it a few years ago I was mad when they fix those yeah they should have left why would you fix that yeah that's really crazy though yeah god I got to start doing that to you Bert just shooting gun pulling guns on boats named shoot it and shoot the sign yeah but I think those guys were doing coke too and we smoked pot that's just way different maybe they could ingredientes whole thing you smoke pot you want to hug people you do coke like we're a fight broke I thought you up a hold you down I'll your mouth your mother your mother's mother I'll dig up her mother and the bones start a business yeah it's um it's also there was everyone was scratching and clawing there wasn't a lot of opportunities yeah there's all I think it's the pot tooth oh I think it's like guys like Diaz and

59:33Arie and you and me like there's a different sensibility there's like a more generous Sensibility I think so you mean I think it's everything for me I'm big I'm big on generosity and I'm big on support I think you have to do that yeah with people around you it does become contagious too yeah you know when you have it done to you you want to do it for other yeah yeah for sure yeah it's giant yeah help out opening acts help out other comments and as you rise up they'll do the same they'll do the same for the other guys and you see them doing that for a little start taking guys with them on the road around yeah look man who do we like more than comics and where do you who do you want to hang out with more than comedians you know and like there were the most fun for us to hang out with what we could say ridiculous and then we'll laugh at it we won't like well I don't know why

60:24you said that Tom you shouldn't have called that lady a con especially not a friend and then you know I think you owe her son an apology I mean if I was her son I what o'clock yeah yeah yeah it's like the people wouldn't think it's funny of course if you were working at Xerox and you said all that people would you know they'd bring down your liability we've got to let you go let go it's true I know man those are the worst people that to like get stuck at a dinner with or something you know you're like oh yeah using a torch room yeah it's the worst yeah I used to feel terrible when I was around those people I used to feel like there's something wrong with me yeah because yeah of course real stuck-up super conservative people and we just think something wrong with me why do I think this way why do I always want to say the inappropriate thing yeah just it's like a muscle twitch go you

61:10know just see how far you can make it of course you start talking like Raceway oh my god and you just see eyes widen in though hmm yeah you like to we're not at a seminar right now right and that's what's about seminars yeah I mean you imagine if you were in the world of business see I really think this is one of the reasons why so many people are so up and so depressed I think the world of showing - showing up to a place and then having your behavior limited into this very narrow and rigid parameters all day long and your livelihood in your success of your your family and whether or not you can send your kids to a good school all that depended upon whether or not you're willing to play the rules yeah you have to wear an outfit with a suit and tie because if you don't you might be unpredictable and you show up with that t-shirt on he's got a football shirt on at work what the is he

62:05drunk what is he crazy yeah he's doing drugs you can't join people that don't just light joints around people yeah crazy but not really it bounced right back that world like the guy can't first of all we were drinking whiskey okay no one that's a problem with that which is way more of a hard drug way more of a crazy drug than a little puff of a joint her drinking whiskey no one cared we drank whiskey for three hours no one cared smoked a little joint honey think he inhaled didn't look like it then a little I just took a ninth-grader bad yeah fascinating it was crazy he didn't I mean another layer of he did it in California mm-hmm exactly totally totally illegal yeah yeah it's no different than having that class of whiskey you know California said you could fly with it now what LAX said you could have an ounce of weed with you on the Nair plane they said we don't know

63:14what the gonna happen when you land somewhere but you can go through LAX with an ounce of weed I'm sorry by the way I looked up private suite after I talked to you Oh super expensive so expensive we do a bit expensive how did you know about it sam harris he told me about it yeah yeah I'm like I like people I don't mind going to the airport and saying hi to people that that thing is like $7,000 a flight it's pretty it was round-trip you know it's a well a membership I thought the membership was it and they're like membership gets you the prices so you pay forty five hundred to be a member and then twenty seven hundred for a domestic flight per flight you know for like your own entrance you know whatever your own meals you don't check in your own TSA I think it sounded cool for like like a family vacation or something you know if you're Chris Pratt it's definitely make sense yeah yeah

64:10some a-list actor type person who should go anywhere yeah if you're Tom Cruise well he said but those guys they have to fly private they do they own their own planes yeah most of them you know they get there's a some article online about John Travolta's yacht pull up John Travolta's yacht it's probably good I bet if you went over that thing with a black light splatters Jesus just G got a new yacht everywhere apparently well the cabin boy the place really is lighten up got five locks on the door he's got bolts on the inside and outside all the deckhands are really worn out yeah you have very weird latex outfits for them to wear oh yeah it's the money that that guy must have God yeah he's got his own jet and he has his own like a jet jet he has a 747 yeah he's a 747 yes and he has a runway in his house for he has like multiple planes but I would like oh yeah

65:20look at that full story behind patrol tows private jet fleet look he's got his arm out the window seeing you flies are the wind that's a commercial plane yeah in the back room is just it's all like a slip and slide with baby oil look at that look how many get multiple Gulfstream's if you know he flew for Qantas as a commercial pilot he did yes like on he actually let him fly he's that good of a pilot Wow that I think he has some sort of commercial standing with Qantas he has a military jet just in case song calls my home oh that's really crazy mad at him asking to get a hand job at a massage see that hash tag baller holy yeah that is ballin that's a crazy yacht man I mean that's like a hundred million dollar yacht right there where do you make those money um I mean how much money do you make from like pulp fiction I'll hear that ones like that we about being a Russian spy

66:26or Tito his fort you know like his like well his wealth wealth wasn't he'd kind of depleted when Pulp Fiction those like around 93 yeah and then that made him so famous and hot again that he was just he was a twenty million dollar movie guy for four while that was lasting faceoff yeah he's but he's doing terrible movies now yeah busy yeah did that gaudy movie it's supposed to be we should probably have a fight companion for Gotti I heard it was really bad I've heard it's so bad I'm in you we do we should do November rolls around we can get drunk again yeah yeah that's good watch that hammered and watch this gaudy movie it's supposed to be a wretched sack of let's do that was we've been meaning to do that what was the other terrible movie we're meaning to do that with roar that movie about that's right that's right there was a movie where a guy who is a lion

67:24trainer actually made a movie with lions and a bunch of people that were making the thing I'll play that play the clip let's hear the clip hmm do you have the wrong music plan that this is this is a scene slash trailer from the audience the music is really the sting song that's how with piece of movie this is that trailer sucks look at this is like an acting class good let it play out willed YouTube yang cos for the audio look at there's a look he just did okay like you can't even do a mobster anymore it's like it feels like a joke play you could do it but it would have to be like you have to be James Gandolfini back to life like if James Gandolfini was alive today he could play it's a problem moving yeah sure cuz you believed it right it's got to be authentic yeah you'd believe it but it's it's gotta be done I mean Scorsese could probably do it again

68:50like it's just there's just a bunch of people he just looks like grown-up Danny Zuko Danny and the greasers at IU what Mandy birds after The Sopranos came on the air everybody wanted to be Italian it was one of those gross moments in time yeah we're all these Italians were like empowered and they were all talking like goombazz and they they they all wanted to get together and have pasta yeah like ramped it up they take mozzarella you know as a person who's legitimately Italian it was disgusting like you Apes yeah are you doing you know yeah yeah yeah they ramped it up you know yeah in like Greek people like I'm Italian start pretending that for sure it was you know there was a time where there were so many auditions for so many movies that all Italians what is this life on the line it's another a power line guy really by the way we should this you this is probably worse for sure what the

70:10how about urban cowboy that's this is the premise of urban cowboy urban cowboy we worked on the one will have a double feature I thought that our a night well we'll play Gotti and we'll play life on the line will sing will have people sync it up this is what we'll do this mark those to mark those two movies and so we'll get those on the Netflix and well after and sober October's over it will get hammered we'll bring a five gallon jug of Tito's in here I love it I love it I rented a Bruce Willis one to laugh at like I was like this can be a piece of and it didn't get it didn't get bad until like 25 minutes were left I was actually it's pretty good it was this I think it's called death wish which is I think yeah yeah yeah and it was actually really well done until like third act really then it like fell apart but I'm watching it like this is gonna be a piece of and 30 minutes how nice a

71:11good movie it was like that with this snowman did you see the Snowman mmm yeah yeah was this better than I thought yeah he got delayed for some reason why I get delay because of mass shootings or something oh boy I think so six point four time IMDB I mean the trailer got real dog yeah well you talking to me a guy I enjoyed Hudson Hawk I was a big poster man dude the snowman is it spoiler alert the Snowman ends it's this guy don't spoil it it's so ridiculous it's so ridiculous what's about it's about a serial killer who is leaving snowman's as hints and he's cutting off body parts and then arranging him in the snow myself Fassbender is a alcoholic cop who is trying to solve it who's Michael Fassbender that guy he said it's a broad from Prometheus you see the robot it takes place abroad right doesn't it takes place but ma'am I don't want to talk negatively but Val

72:24Kilmer's performance is so disturbing that it pulls you out the movie immediately is it terrible in it no it's when he's going through the throat stuff and and it's dubbed his voice I mean what in this they had him dub his voice so they took out his voice because he could understand him I guess and then they had they dubbed his voice I mean it's like it's so bad that it throw it pulls you out and you're like you definitely should have just not had him in the movie yeah and let him get healthy I think he's doing better now hopefully no I think he is I think he's gone into remission you know I'll tell you what man he stole this show and Wyatt Earp remember that Val Kilmer yeah I'm your huckleberry remember that you named all the move heat the doors he was murdering this is a Monstress Val Kilmer is a blue genius see if he could get that scene from hit with Val Kilmer as why Doc Holliday in

73:20wider the funniest piece of he made the saint did you see that I like the same and I like the fails of superhero movie right no I was like a spy like I play again I get in disguise crank this Oh Mike you know this is the very end ok the audio be pull up this is a great scene this is a great scene just the thing about the scene is you believe it you just believed him when that dude realizes is the wrong guy I didn't understand the scene until recently people can't hear this on the YouTube okay so then I could talk yeah I didn't understand that he's this is him the reason the guys guy didn't understand why I think I was scared it's cuz Doc Holliday wants to die in a gunfight yeah cuz he's dying yeah he wanted to be shot but also he was killing everybody Doc Holliday was a monster and this guy was wanna be badass and he realized that Doc Holliday was gonna him up I've never seen this you

74:38never saw this or know what serious I don't like westerns I hate horses I do hate horses and I'm just never like this is this is about horses Tom I don't like this time I don't like this I don't like the aesthetic I don't like their hats I've Sears hats I really I'm serious I don't like any of it are you me now there's one of the best movies ever not interested because occasionally they get on a horse and I don't like their hats yeah can you look lower yeah it still bothers me I like the moustaches look how sweaty he is yeah I got close they are to each other you think people really just did that close to each other and have gunfights oh yeah dun dun da I wouldn't mind doing a gunfight with you Tom oh come on he wants them to shoot him now Wow doesn't seem as good second time around maybe in the context of the entire movie I love these mustaches they all look

76:02like alt comics now think I must make humph I'm Han batched ice cream wait a minute all comics real anymore I felt like that dis evaporated yeah so I think it's still real nah there's like one of my favorite things watching all comics go up in the main room yeah you see it you know the UM they kind of get walk-in shell-shocked they already know that it's not that their crowd you could see I didn't realize what that I just said it yeah I've seen it before and I've always been like oh this is your first time here and then you can see in their eyes and you're like I'm gonna love it this is a great room in the world yeah that's so funny yeah but get more aggressive you could tell it's like unnatural aggressively progressive yeah I remember when all was like thought of as you you were if you were all you were like soft and progressive and sensitive and kind now alt is right like all right you

77:08think of all you think of all right oh yeah like that's all you hear about now is like all right which is like you think of racism oh yeah xenophobia like the word alt got sort of hijacked that's true yeah I didn't even think about that but it does you say all most people's mind will definitely go all right yeah over the last few years right but like in the context in the world of comedy it actually oddly usually implies somebody who's probably far to the left yeah but only with us I think right only with in common with audiences I don't think they even know that expression anymore I feel like you all universally publicly has sort of been hijacked by all right or at least the the definition of it been hijacked by all right people that's true that is true right I guess I don't yeah I guess so I I assume there's got to be an alt left right well I think there was but I think

78:05the problem is once you say all now everybody just thinks right see I would want this else out left sounds made up yeah what what is that what are they alternative to the right of its the ideas that's young right so okay like but so like the right if you think I'm conservative you would think of like Lindsey Graham you think of like people that are probably racist but they keep it under wraps slippery shoes Lindsey Graham was a chick until this week dude I thought it was a six million dollar woman well he's got that southern accent that you can't tell if it's gay or or not it's the same thing it's like ah well I do declare yeah yeah there's this is weird watching these Kavanagh hearings the whole thing is so strange oh you got a pot you got to keep your head down if you do not agree with the like I just I just tweeted that can you imagine defending your high school yearbook

79:06that's all I tweeted I saw that and it was a show I saw that yeah and I was like I was like I'm out yeah you can't people can't recognize that you're not in support of this guy you're not in support of anything like but it's it's a real thing like if signal simply so that people know I'm on your team I'm just I'm just a comedian I'm just making an observation really can you imagine defending your high school yearbook do you remember you remember Hicks's bit about Clarence Thomas no no I'm sure I've heard it Hicks had a bit about Clarence Thomas when they were they were trying to bring him into Supreme Court oh man I wish I could remember exactly how the bit went but it's a great bit but it was about his porn collection you know like mr. Hicks oh yes yes with clam like this funny bit but like you know examining that wasn't really by the way Lindsey Graham what do you see like

80:12after he left where they decided they'd vote that they're going that well the voters that's gonna move to the floor but they decided like you know we'll try to do this extra week of the FBI investigation and then he goes someone's gonna have to explain this to Trump I guess that'll be me not so subtle way being like dum-dum doesn't get it so Trump said to one of the reporters today know what a female reporter said he goes he pointed to a woman and he said go ahead and he goes she can't but she's speechless she can't believe I called on her any and she goes well I didn't think yeah you don't think yeah I get that I'm sorry and she goes I'm sorry sir like listen to this listen this listen this you never do was Jesus this is listen this he can't help himself he's crazy yeah that's okay I know you're not thinking you never do no go ahead whoa whoa there's a

81:12president that's such a crazy thing to say to someone no I know you're not thinking you never do she must be someone that's written really negative things about him he knows you know he's got that hit list and every oh is this that piece of yeah yeah yeah of course it's all whole things man he keeps a record here they have records of you know anyone who slided him anyone who's written anything bad said anything for sure man see I'm not I'm not a confrontational online confrontation so part there's part of me that goes like I always thought I wish Kim jong-un would be a fan so I could go over and party with him for a week what yeah you wanna party with him I would really yeah yeah I like Fidel Castro would have been it'll be crazy to Dennis Rodman if you went over there partied with him and then just like saved will that know like the next morning when you're like I

82:08had the best time he was like sent to a labor camp this guy's just like you want to lose some weight how about I give him one grain of rice a day oh man that would be fun and you drink piss my piss that's it you want stay hydrated here's a jug of piss I guess I'm the only one that thinks that way yeah yeah yeah wants to go party with him we talked with a serious ruthless dictator you get offered a private gig there like a man it's a it's uh it's in Pyongyang why you private uh-huh are we getting paid before I kinda need a little bit up front I think maybe deposit the flight private it's gonna be really amazing mm-hmm million-dollar super private you know what flying privates like sitting down sitting down why why would they be amazing you're sitting yeah it's nothing it's not like you're flying private people rubbing your feet the music is full 3d surround of course you

83:11could make all those things happen if you want yeah if you want to fly private dan Bilzerian probably does that when he flies it's it's the draw for flying private I'd obviously I can't afford it I beg you say afford I just wouldn't make any money on the road but is that you get done in you go home you get done and you go to a get on a plane and you fly home yeah or you just wait 20 minutes and you save $30,000 not 20 minutes I'm gonna be nice to get on a plane you fly private you suck I've done it are you calling it no idea you fly private though I don't fly private my bad flow private for like yes a couple of times but it's never like as I was like I just gotta get home it's just it was you know it was a instead of doing crazy Transpo to get to a gig yeah for a short of short flight though I don't do it like on a rake holding now you see all the mouthfull flying private

84:02I saw that because I miss my god I never thought about it in the news like wouldn't it be nice and I was like yeah would you know it's that one of the grossest celebrity things ever is the posing in front of the private jet yeah yeah dude doesn't you know what all but cut comedians don't do that though yes I'm saying like our friends know I know a few that suck that do it yeah I've seen are you looking at me no you're looking at you because you know who I'm talking about it's just a weird thing it's like you're you would definitely pose in front of it shirtless you know he would okay yes okay I'm gonna be what if we were all on a private jet flying somewhere and we posted this would that be okay yeah because that's like a gig in Aspen to celebrate after sober October's over we decided to book a gig together and we all was shirtless you hammered on the runway looking ripped because we're

84:57gonna lose loads of weight yes and we all pose that's fine right let's do this I really excited now how much um what's the most amount of points you've gotten in a month in a month yeah I think it was right just under forty five hundred forty five hundred a lot yeah so far most I've seen somebody do was 700 that's crazy yeah but that's like you're really really going after it all the time you know probably probably um let me out thirty more than twice of what I did for 15 days right mm-hmm yeah that's crazy that's a lot of work but here's the thing we didn't discuss though so what's the bet what are the stakes what are we doing what happens if you win we lose first of all it's just us cuz Ari isn't even in this bed he asked he goes will it gauge my long walks you know we couldn't stop giggling as we and like pictured Ari shirtless in New York with a chest strap one just

85:59yeah he's he's I don't think he's gonna be sano called me and said he wanted to do it but I can do this though yeah you're not gonna do this he's also not gonna he's like sober October ish I can't go off everything or all of a stroke well it's not that he can't go off everything he just can't go off it immediately he's actually going to a doctor this week and he's going to get himself checked out which is a rare thing you Stanhope I don't know if you know this stand-up has sort of a policy to not go to the doctor and when it breaks he dies yeah that's his idea his idea you don't want em are eyes doesn't want diagnosis doesn't want recommendations doesn't want you know prescriptions like it he is going this week he's going to go this week to get himself checked out to make sure that he can go so I think I mean as much as Stanhope is sort of a fatalist and he

86:50loves being this lovable drunk and okay you can't feel good to just always be drunk they just can't feel good I know he's taking time off before and I know he's taking time off before smoking as well I know he quit smoking for quite a while at one point time I think he would like to be healthier you know I mean I know he would he would have more energy I think he would make his comedy better I really do not this comedy is not amazing it is but I just think he'd have more energy ya know energy is a big thing so I think and I also think he's just something to do and connects him to us he's out there and bum Bisbee Arizona yeah with a bunch of dorks you like partying anywhere yeah you do a great party in North Korea you yeah yeah the invites out there yeah I hope to god some encrypted email they go Kim this and then I want you to watch a machine story and then he watches every scene he

87:48goes I let's make another one I've had moments worth it where people go we could get you into some trouble and I get scared I was with the group in Tanzania they were like we're gonna kidnap a baby elephant if you're into it oh my god damn dude kidnap a baby elephant yes I'm another tribe to kidnap this elephant from sanctuary they're gonna kidnap at bat and there the Masai was going in to kidnap her back and I was like party part of me is like if you get a little bit of a buzz I'm in but that sounds like a good way to die yeah yeah it's all about the history stories the I so do you have the time to do those in stores because this doesn't interfere with actual life like how often are you present in real life when you're doing I look at your dots on your insta story and like Jesus there's like 70 dots no I don't ever put that that many I put up I'll probably put up ten a day that's up

88:41you think yeah yours yours mine beeping no having it hanging like that but sometimes it'll just do it anyways but yeah it's finally working out if it beeps one beat means it's on that three beep means I shot all the beeps off on the app so I could use it in yoga class yeah oh okay yeah I don't want it beep and of course you know yeah you know you can wet those sensors right if you want it to like make get a good reading to start you've worked out yeah great good I look at insta stories I look at Instagram as part of business again you look at as part of business part of my business and so I go I am very present in life I don't it's the story everything but like in moments like when the rat runs into our house I definitely only as a story that and I always have my phone on me it's in my pocket I like how you're like I'm very present and then right before we start

89:36you're like I'm terrible at this at home I was dude I'm not a parent I'm taking care of my kids by myself my wife somewhere traveling abroad look at all these dots bro that ain't 10 dots leave this one what the are you worried for five six seven eight C Dodds yeah I said I love school with a bag of rice but it's only 1 p.m. and you have eight dots already oh there's someone from last night and yesterday it's 24 hours bi I'm a cop I'm parenting by myself I can't do I'm not good at it yeah it's it's a good chance to bond with your kids it is or they realize exactly how out of touch you are with their lives well I'm not one for giving parental advice but what I would say to do is abandon all other things you do while you're doing it so think of yourself as like a mom like a house mom like instead of like trying to squeeze it in where all the other you do you won't be

90:34good at it if you do that if when I if my wife goes somewhere and I have to just take care of my kids I don't do anything else I scheduled nothing nothing else if I do a podcast I have to do it during the day while the kids are at school and then once there I don't go - I don't do shows that night I don't do I just hang out with them yeah and we do make sure I do like I take them to a pottery class so we'll go to you know like dojo boom one of those bouncy places they have trampolines and dude just do stuff with them and I do that but leave your phone off leave your phone off your kids are there unless unless you you want your wife to contact you maybe that but don't look at your Twitter just hang out with them it's it's you have to like have like rules in your head my kids are a lot older your kids though yeah but still you want to interact with them I know how old their

91:27I know but your kids still young minor minor like 14 and 12 and so yeah but don't you hang out with them and do stuff last night we watched Deadpool cool we're going out to dinner tonight perfect yeah but yeah but just the the actual getting up I was telling Tom I got up at 5:45 to get make them breakfast and and my dog my oldest daughter had already pulled the trash out put it by the door backdoor for me to take out was literally gave me a speech it was like just so you know you need to be ready to go at 5:45 like you can't just get up at 5:45 and kind of like slow roll into the more time at school she they've got to be she had me at school at 8:00 I think everybody is lecturing you that's what I said but and Leanne was loving it Leanne called she's like yeah you got to get going you can't just get up and be regular Bert your daddy on duty yeah I made the mistake of saying I was

92:14gonna make pancakes everyone was like you can't I was like guys if I'm gonna make pancakes I'm making pancakes I've got the standard batter stirred and they're like we need something else we already hungry we gotta go and so yeah we're on a schedule Leanne's a gangster with that I just when you fold me into her life my brain doesn't work like right yeah I get that but it's like when you're just hanging out with them just them it's uh kind of realizes I mean it's for everyone that has kids there's you only have a few these years you know you only you only have a few and then next thing you know they're adults it happens quick yeah c14 that happened overnight you know I have friends that don't have good relationships with their kids and weird it's weird to see no sucks sucks sucks you know sucks it's weird to see kids that are resentful angry at you you got that coming for

93:09sure right it's not coming no as teenagers as tough men it is tough first of all being a teenager's tough you gotta like remind them over and over again you're dealing with a torrential downpour of hormones that you just don't know what to do with you remember what that was like yeah yeah you're so confused all the time confuse your body's in disarray anybody for you it's probably exacerbated by like them being like this generation then knowing that you're racist I mean our stakes so that's what we haven't worked okay so the most ever the most you've ever gotten is so what did I what did I get today two hundred or something like that what did I get - eleven yeah so - eleven that's a normal work out for you right yeah I think too much 200 is like a is a good strong work out yes a good normal work yeah so if you get 200 well if I did 200 twice a day Jesus men how many days a week you

94:22plan on doing that I'm going hard son I'm trying to kill Burt I'm in I'm in for the challenge yeah I want you to say Mickey Mantle genes real well oh you've yet to it you just heard what he's doing I know and I understand that I have that I have the accessibility to get there I'm I'm up for the challenge but you're planning on Joe you're planning on precisely yeah but you're essentially planning out four hundred points a day yeah six days a week let's say or what yeah at least seven come I try seven days a week for an appointed a if I do different things that's true that's the key to it you put 8,000 points yeah yeah yeah the only thing is I have a hunting trip that's gonna take me away for six days I have a cruise that stated tomorrow that is anyway for five but when I'm doing the hunting trip like I'll send this to Jamie you see with like a typical day in the

95:23mountains is like when your that's what some of the most brutal workouts I've ever done because you're hiking at altitude and when you're at altitude man it's I did 12 miles a day 31 thousand steps 116 floors at 80 100 feet well just so you know if I if you wore it that's it that's a typical day in the mountains hunting if you wore it by the way for that you would just you know it would come out to some crazy number how many steps do you mean that's 31,000 steps 12 there 12 miles in the mountains but it's the thing is that elevation you're going up and down hills and stepping over logs and you're always always breathing heavy it's it's rough are you gonna wear it for that yeah okay yeah Jesus Christ okay I guess I'm running another marathon i mean that's working out you mean times i have to run around that goddamn cruise ship all right so you 120,000 points a year a month would be

96:29you doing judaism no you can't get that many points what list there's no way what are you talking to me we were talking to 8000 at the most like he said he said 4500 was his best his best month and that's crazy that was working out like probably 22 or 23 days and doing you know something like yeah 200 plus points each time that's amazing okay so 8000 is Brunell yeah that's crazy okay your best months 4,000 no but though without like being in a competition I've hit 43 4400 let's say okay okay Joe immediately would get 6,000 if you just did what you did today every day of this month you can just do it if I did it every day every day but that was just the morning workout Tuesday we're all doing two-a-days I get this from high school are we gonna have to someone call the rock so I know we're gonna be stakes on this and I love this makes me more exciting than anything yeah no it's

97:31good challenge whatever it is listen we should all come in even and just make Ari pay for everything never gonna he's never gonna catch up to it and a big shout out our I mean our we've said it before but he really did come through on that bet he did I'm saying I'm when he took us to the game he bought crazy tickets and I thought they were much less he gave us a first-class experience nice and we should make him do it again yeah like what would be the stakes well it's gotta be uh it's gotta be something that we can all participate in Floyd Mayweather Manny Pacquiao - ooh that's a great one front row we're talking about do that yeah by the way yeah say whatever you want about me being on my phone the entire time I have the best video from that of the last dem scoring a touchdown yeah it's a videotape that touchdown and then cut to Tom and re yeah no it's great

98:27that was a really fun weekend that was dude big that place is goin that's where Larry the Cable Guy performs oh my god places like that that's how big his audiences are when's Floyd Mayweather Pacquiao I don't know I think it's in December is it in December okay this might be a devil book tickets I don't know others just talked that it might be there Wow guys oh let's go to that damn that sounds crazy but also that's like asking are there's no way he could win right so someone has to learn someone has to win but more importantly one person is gonna lose oh so like if you beat me and I beat you that don't mean chicks were all beaten re-write it's like a skins game he's all right but you know he's gonna be like I'm not doing the point maybe but maybe he's listening this right now he's doing should we call him true he's getting Hank any sober twitch might let him stew

99:37even more you I'm gonna win what if our egos you're crazy just goes whole hog every day he says hours a day takes spin classes and CrossFit classes and where's it during jujitsu Floyd Mayweather his planet come back in Tokyo before his rematch with Manny Pacquiao a couple weeks ago so oh so he wants a tune-up fight huh that might not be real hmm yeah I'm you know would you go to that you would you go to the fight though yes it'd be an interesting fight I mean they're both past their prime but it'd still be a fun event - yeah I mean with a Pacquiao just knocked out Lukas Matisse a and Floyd hasn't fought in a year since he beat Conor McGregor but that's not a real box I mean it's a boxing match but it's on a boxing match at an elite level I confuse if he was boxing Terence Crawford or someone who's like at the very top now he's not in that kind of like zone right now mm-hmm

100:36he's still the best ever you know if not the one of a handful of the greatest boxers in the history of the world ever you know no question what we should do is tear the tear the winnings okay first-place pays for nothing whole weekend I like this idea second place pays for their pace for their ticket to the whatever's least expensive pays for their ticket and nothing else third place plays for all hotels or so that place just pays the most out but he's not he's not dropping right so forth let's say the last place person has to cover flights but they can use their miles see the problem is Ari's bets are like no no the loser has to wear a beard of my pubes yeah and he's got he's got to clean his face with my comb he goes no no we're not drinking everyone's pissed he said like you better be a panhandler for six hours yeah he's yeah he wanted us to do really

101:50ridiculous like district naked the tears of paying for it so it's like not all is it's a good idea right so one person doesn't take the whole beating this place pays nothing all that that's true the first place should be I don't cover first place should get like a belt we should make a belt sure mmm so rocktober belt Oh real one like a real real October Oh a sober October belt champ who's the champ yeah Jamie and this is a project I need you to look up where you would get a pro wrestling belt and not no knockoff oh my god I just got beautiful I just found my inner voice when I work out that belt just oh my god I'm in it so excited in her voice so you're gonna start doing you two a days I might be doing three days Wow look at me serious he's excited now dude oh thank god now tell him he ain't and there's no way he'll win this will you fire them up even more I know

102:49tell me I can't run a marathon you definitely ran a marathon but there's no way you'll win this though there's no way always Wow Tommy's got reverse psychology we could get a Pepsi belt who the wants a Pepsi belt I know a guy he's diabetic so what which is that me I'll be right there I think it's okay so we found a company that makes belts what's the name of this company ProAm belts , nice okay so we need some sort of a logo we need like sober October is definitely the name of it right a sober October belt and undisputed sober our Chamber champ yeah and we like dying with Jam oh yeah what should we have on it guys should be are our faces engraved in it you should it be like the like the no smoking sign no boo sign piles of coke yeah and then a guy trying to suck his own dick tell everyone it's yoga yeah so we'll have to come up with how long does it take to make one of these belts

104:05let's find out hey lists who ever Pro Am belts if you're listening three to four weeks oh I'll break it on so if we finish the design by the end of this week we might be able to have it at the end of the money you might be holding up that belt feels great lights lodging tickets misses missing you there's no way you've never worked out with them I've worked out with him what happens oh he gives up he's gonna work out together done like hotel like pre-show yeah oh and we did actually we went when we were in Phoenix we went to a like a MMA gym oh that's right yeah that's right we did we worked out yeah I time I used to go to Barry's boot camp together yes what happened I don't mind were throwing up if I work out like I like and then I was like you enjoy it I do because I know that I've done it as hard as I can do it hmm I get it I've thrown up before a girl

105:08came into my green room this weekend it threw up she was looking for the bathroom and just threw up in my cream that's your car yeah I started throwing it by the way you're probably your promo you showed me yeah it's gonna bring in more vomitus just so you know I cut a promo I'm doing it'll be dropping next Monday we're announcing my tour next week but I'd kind of promo it's all you hurling no no no it's just what it's like being on one of my shows yes chaos it's chaos yeah well your shows are chaos you you're not doing just a comedy show you've got like a whole party experience happening we I mean stand up it's stand up straight stand up and a lot of times I do a meet and greet people get to talk and hang out I think as a fan I like that so I do that and then a lot of times at the end of the night and a lot of times I go I'll be at the bar next door and

105:57everyone goes to the bar those are crazy do you think you can do that when the crowds get to like 3,000 4,000 of course not I don't know I actually had a real lucid conversation about what meet and greets are gonna look like on this theater tour because I don't want to get rid of the meet-and-greet sigh it means it as silly as it sounds but I think it means something for them to hang out does and I don't want it charged like 100 bucks for a meet-and-greet but I definitely can't do 1200 people like I did when I did the Wilbur I told everyone to go meet me at the bar next door and it was chaos I mean it was like like literally elbow to yeah and I just was not I didn't get to hang out with anyone I was just taking pictures over and over and over and right so I want to try to figure out some workaround for a meet-and-greet for this theater tour because dude when I go

106:43to Scandinavia I want to meet I want to meet podcast well you know one thing that annoys me hmm those pictures what people have stacks of pictures they want you to sign and they say oh yeah that is not does not like take a picture with me that's not will you sign this for my friend there's some sign this for me that's like you're asking me to work yeah and they they're Cheney and they go they come out with the one like hey we saw you go oh yeah and then the the six behind it come to the side and they're like in this and this and this and this I saw some guy the other day at 30 yeah whoa yeah they the running knee of the airport there's like six dudes they have stacks yeah like hey man you're you're showing up and you want me to work this is what you're doing you want me to stop what I'm doing and you think it's all it's only five minutes of your time

107:26yeah that's true but you're not really a fan you're just a guy trying to get me to work for sure this is you seinem no I said one I say outside one I'll sign one they get mad like some guy got mad in Philly remember that dude got upset do you know why you're famous you fans I was like you're not a fan you just told me another fan he told me he literally told me he's like I used you don't even sell well it was yourself like seven dollars I go I don't give a what they sell what my autograph hero's worth it'll will I know I said I said don't don't show up the airport and harass me then I say I'll sign one do you do a meet-and-greet you used to do Ingrid tonight I used to do I would still do that but I used to do meet and greets at the Chicago theater for 3,700 people I would wait and take photos with everybody that's our talk I think but you can't do it anymore

108:14people got to crazy as the podcast got crazier and crazier people go crazy and then where they would hold on to your arm and want to tell you how you change their life I want to tell you like long stories like like there's 500 people behind you waiting I can't give you 15 minutes here I can't give you 5 minutes it just it just got too strange and it just got too many people wanting to get on the podcast like you got to get me on I'm gonna tell you my story about beating drug addiction like I'm sure it's a great story I can't get you on oh stop this is not how this works yeah you know there's just too much of that too much it's not if it was just hi I want to take a picture I had a good time great but it's not that then it's all these agenda-driven people then all that want to do things and they want to they want you to do things for them they think there's too many people that have

109:03been on the podcasts are just regular folks and then they get on the podcast and now people know about them and so a lot of people think like hey if I just got on the podcast that would make my career totally you know whether there are a singer or they have a book or this it just gets too annoying yes is it it's just it's too overwhelming but the meet and greet is actually like it's like part of your brand I feel like seriously yeah definitely it's like when we did we did that Chicago that theater run with Sal Vulcano hate and all those guys yeah no no I like it none of that none of the guys wanted to do a meet-and-greet and I there was like a thousand people waiting outside the theater and I thought I just thought but that's different because that's who I am like if I go see a band I am I am like super compelled to go talk to them and tell them how great I

109:50thought they were part of that is Who I am and so I went out and did pictures with everyone waiting in the alley at the Chicago theater and I was like and then when someone goes do you have no idea I loved the podcast I love Tommy I love the weight loss I beat you know I love that interaction I remember one time I was in Scotland and I was like I just hit it out has anyone any fans wanna go have a beer with me and this three guys showed up and it was right when Bobcat was on your podcast and we just about Bobcats appearance we'd all listen to it so you know I think I but I don't know what I'd like to maybe charge only did like weed out the people that don't want to you know yeah but see there's the problem I'm not that's I'm philosophically opposed to making people pay for pictures and making people pay to hang out with you I just don't think it's right but there should be a way to like

110:35just yeah but there's just the thing unless you charge money or pick people so like there's a company now that does that they do these VIP things and and someone brought it up to me and like you can make this I'm like I'm not doing it and they go but you can make someone stop not doing it I mean I used to do it for free forever I stopped doing it because too many people got too weird but I'm not gonna charge people I'm just not gonna do it but I know a lot of people that do a lot of people and they make a lot of money doing it you used to do it right what that mean greeter yeah I also feel like you know honestly like I I like meeting people I made people on the street I meet them when I walk out of the back of the venue I was there's people there I always meet people but I just don't I don't I'm not that good at the meet me in greeting I'm just not that

111:22comfortable with it I don't like it that much besides definitely not I mean in really not being shitty but it's not you you're not like I'm not very social people that there's there's people that are demanding and they're like oh you don't love your fans yeah it's not your extra thing from that no no here's the arrangement the arrangement is I work hard on my act I do a lot of sets I prepare take the show very seriously I come to town I do a kick-ass show that's the arrangement yeah thank you good night our deals done now if you think that you have to tell me some life story for 20 minutes or I'm not your friend like no that's not this is not the arrangement this is not like you're demanding too much and you're also not aware of how many other people would want to do the same thing yeah like it would be impossible it's just it's untenable you can't do it there's

112:09too many I would say that for me like anybody who wants to wait outside that door I'll meet anybody did I do you up son yeah shouldn't said that that was a mistake they're not gonna wait they're coming right now they have a little trailer out there right now Tom's dominar so it's amazing that we're friends because we're so very different men there was once a comment on his Instagram that made me laugh so hard compared to my comments it was hey Tom I'm really sorry for looking at you at the airport no he said I'm sorry I said hi but it's just Tom's face just like he is he's not needy that's what it is so wouldn't some guy said hi Tom Owen all right and then the guys didn't know what to say I walked away he he came up I still remember it I was I was an airport east of the mighty character he came over as I was about to take the escalator at hartsfield-jackson and he he goes hey

113:06I'm a big fan I go hey man and and it was like a quick thing he was like big fan I go thanks a lot appreciate it got on the other side never thought twice and then he wrote I'm sorry that I bothered you at the airport I was like you didn't bother me at all that's just someone who's trying to get a reaction from you oh yeah I mean not really sorry yes there was nothing to be sorry for you know I mean I felt like he was like he wants to keep it going right hey I'm sorry don't be sorry come hang out with you but Bert yeah no one would ever apologize dude I was at the I was at the hotel did Bellator is going on this weekend in San Jose and so it was all fighters right right I ran into Jay Big John McCarthy oh and the elevator what a great guy Greg he's like I knew he was but I didn't want like I was afraid and I just working out and he was like he's like hi just get

113:58done working out I was like yeah I wouldn't want to bother me he was we have a mutual friend and I was like does he know who I am he was like Joe Rogan and I went I know exactly the you are and then but I just saw that big oh it's big fella no no John that's a different guy I'm sure John is a big dick to my sauce he's got a hammer when did you see moose Aussies dick sauna he saw his dick it was legit I didn't see the fight because the fights on some do streaming thing called daysand da's it's called the zone they have October but then the name is with Michael buffer it's pretty good it's kind they have a commercial about how dumb how do you spell it Daz and the zone and it's about he's joking about I notice it's called does zone yeah but but it's not zone there's no o amen they can't change how people pronounce things phonetically this stupid someone probably made it they got stuck well

114:59Mousasi just beat the out of Rory MacDonald stopped him in the second round I didn't even get a chance to see it cuz I thought it was gonna be TV and so I went to check my Bellator on my DVR and it wasn't even there did he beat him with his dick Wow I want to see that footage now 10 inches I'll tell you what it's it's bigger than this know that faster than a water bottle burrow I'll tell you time you dick becomes a liability when it's as fat as water sure I don't know what I don't know how he's brought that to the ring with him every girl means probably unsatisfied totally all the time as soon as they pull it out they're like hold on a second here out and he's like he weighs 170 - he was weighed 170 - that day because I got on the no he weighs more than that he fights in 185 he cuts wait to get to 185 he used to be a light heavyweight champion she used to be

116:08fighting a little thing wrong maybe I looked at the ski long and I think the scale was off she said I'm gonna say this now that I say that this ray you weighed 195 230 some gay guys could make 172 he would destroy everyone in the welterweight division he's a murderer is that how you say his name Gegard Mousasi I thought it was gerald and it's like I'm a different person oh I'm Dyslexic so why are the read things when I read things I don't see it right away Mousasi is a monster man he's one of the big losses for the UFC because in my opinion he's one of the top two or three hundred eighty-five pounders in the world at the UFC at beat and Chris Weidman and then he goes over and fights in Bellator now but apparently they just came up with some large cash they're trying to get big names over there Bellator I don't you know I don't know anything about UFC is no hammering me

116:56about that but like do Bellator was really cool just being down there it was like Chael Sonnen Rampage Jackson like 50 cent was there it was like a really like if if you're a passer-by fan of MMA then you're like oh shut the up they're doing really good fights they have big they have big talent there now they have Michael Chan who's one of the top lightweights in the world Rory MacDonald is one of the best if not the best welterweight in the world he's definitely like top two or three he's beaten tyron woodley who's the UFC champion I think it's let past Rory they snagged over them they snagged him they have utterly silvas yeah but vanderley's way past his prime and so is rampage you know those guys they're they they're doing the Legends tour and rampage just knocked out family yeah yeah but Vanderley doesn't look good anymore but you know they're doing a

117:51great job yeah they're doing a great job they're really they're promoting these fights well they're putting on Brittany and the welterweight division they have Douglas Lemos one of the best in world they have Paul Daley who could knock out any living human being they have lorenz larkin 50-cent was giving away a cash price hey Zeus trejo got into the steam room was 50 cent what is this to award Bellator what does it say welterweight grand prize winner a million dollar cash prize didn't he just go bankrupt fifty yeah yeah well just part of a deal he mad would get to strap brand which I guess he owed and owned and sold and part of that money a million dollars goes to give the person a million-dollar cash prize so the welterweight Grand Prix's that they had korish cough just fought Lima those two guys are excellent two korish cough is another top ten guy in the

118:40world I think and he's fighting for Bellator to Lima beat him Lima and Rory had a great fight Rory beat Lima by decision so there's Rory Douglas Lima Paul Daley and still to this day like Paul Daley can knock out anyone he's so dangerous a puncher all guys do is connect he's got a left hand that's just a nuclear missile so and he just knocked out Lorenz Larkin who's also a top welterweight there's so many good fighters over there now there's so many good fighters in general yeah yeah yeah it's uh MMA is coming up right now I mean there's the top talent this fight this weekend between McGregor and khabib nurmagomedov is going to be crazy that is a crazy fight that's Vegas right yep that is a crazy freak on it yep I don't know what the gonna happen are you excited yeah how cool is that I wish I was as long on this cruise I would totally hit you up for tickets I'm super excited

119:36speaking of which on this on this bet this is just okay do you think you can get us free tickets to like so we can take that out of the cash prizes because that would be what to go where I'll get your free tickets for the UFC door do you think do I think we could leverage you who to get us tickets to a boxing match yeah for sure we can get some tickets as opposed to putting that may may that may make the prize right if it's a price if it's like right now right right so like maybe I'll get the tickets for the fight I'll use leverage to get the tickets and then we'll make a big deal that we're gonna go and then we'll get like sweets at some hotel somewhere lodging and the loser has to pay for like some extravagant meal and creates right no hold on we got flights and lodging I'm gonna be on the BET and then and then that's the way Oh what are we going to Vegas yeah if it's a

120:30stupid fight yeah because he's talking about fighting this guy that's not Manny Pacquiao in Tokyo he's not talking about fighting Manny Pacquiao if he fights Manny Pacquiao he's gonna fight him in Vegas that's where the real money all right you're gonna end up spending a lot of money should we get matching soo think you're gonna lose no I'm not gonna lose there's no way to win the whole thing I think you're gonna come in like it's your fantasy that you come in at the end and you win the whole thing said the royal story you should work out with me once okay I want to know I learned what you think you're gonna get dude I've got a page the numbers right okay what do you think unfriend you now so that you can't see much you're scaring me I know what I have to do now I'm gonna go home tonight so lightweight let me understand what do you think you're gonna get except that I want to know

121:22what do you think you're gonna get cuz you're good at calling your shots so well tom has already achieved more in a day than my first workout you've already achieved 230 says the most the most I've ever done in a day is 380 380 in a day yeah is that a to a day yeah actually I'm sorry it's more than that 380 in one workout but that but that was how did you do that seven miles and I did mostly uphill and then I went around and like so it was like a hike run right so sustained heart rate for for a long period of time oh you guys are and when I wear this elk hunting yeah you guys will never care I'll get five hundred oh you'll do more than that you want side actually yes actually going on like top top top workout and most single day so you could do you know let's say a hike like that a run mm-hmm and then go back and go like I want to get like another hundred points

122:27I'm gonna go on this how long was this battery go for a long time yeah for a week yeah really yeah I didn't charge mine for a second time till after I had it for over so okay for all skeptical people this is not a sponsor no we don't know anybody that works at this company and I don't want we we talked about it in text messages I said we should do this punk rock I don't wanna we shouldn't do this we shouldn't have a company sponsoring us no we're just this is a good metric system sure hit product we're gonna use it because of that and I don't want it I don't want them to sponsor us so this is this is non sponsored this is a piece of we're gonna get to say it's a piece of yeah so just so cuz people would corporate I like these side I I like these I read Sartre right now it's like I kind of wish you do this foster no you know I'd do it for real if they hit me

123:23up and then I know I'm probably but why would you want to do that why would you want to go to oh no it's about the stories I like I like I like crazy stuff like that I think athlete good story it's definitely on brand most single day workout gets a new suit okay that's good and all three of us have to buy them a new suit o re re just texted what he said how do I register this thing alright he's in man Wow - okay most single day is re gonna compete but he doesn't exercise oh you know what's so great most ago suit and we're gonna be in the best shape of our lives so I'll get a skinny suit that we'll never be able to wear again yeah we should right he has to email them for a facility code yeah it's easy they get it they'll sent it right away you're right we should wear suits to the gig yeah yeah oh I've never watched a suit all right yeah well you know what

124:17we'll do I'll contact David August they're the guys who make my suits yes your suits yeah I know David August yeah they make awesome suits hey he sure made it's got like a little bit of flex to it so if you're built like troll like me you can move around these things there's a flex around their belly yesugai yeah what David august's yeah with the Chad Chad and Julie God and they wait yeah yeah yeah there's a documentary called I need you to kill that I'm in which it's on Amazon Prime and there's a scene in the documentary where we go and we get suits made and yeah the with I go with Chad and it's really really fun man I mean yeah I went to the same district that Ari got his made in and that guy Danny I went to Danny they always they have like the names are really sent they're like did you get yours at Joe's or Danny's like that's the designers there but so

125:29there's great job man first place guys for nothing second place most single day gets a brand new suit should we do 3rd place plays lodging fourth place pays for flights and we fly private I like it I like that and Ari's gonna have to pay for a flight you're gonna play lodging right second place has got to pay for something what second place yes who's got a favor whenever the second dinner one big no where I don't know lodging might be more than dinner that we could Bowl dinner bottles of wine for a thousand bucks you realize oh my god that now I'm getting panics I know that I'm gonna be a didn't wanting to drink it there I talk about the dinner I went to Ralphie with Ralphie's man about me and Ralphie went to dinner family whoo this is one of my favorite stories we've been we've been partying all weekend and this is Hawaii no this is uh Bahamas Baja okay oh yeah yeah but

126:21you got to set it up that at the time you're like meddling or just relax yeah it was a feature act how many years ago this it's just lianna nice first trip away from Georgia so it's from our daughter ten years plus it's gotta be at least 10 10 11 years and oh you actually find it if you can it's all my video because I posted a video at that time so it's probably 2007 maybe before trial would happen and Ralphie asleep before I started birth to concur I was 37 years old okay 36 years old at the time Ralphie's killing it Rafi's ballin yeah I'm headlining some maybe for like 1500 bucks 2,000 bucks I'm headlining and but I'm still featuring at the time okay and so maybe I've done Jameson Comedy Tour that was so I had a little bit of money but not no money to speak of so we go to the do this gig for Paul Young Ron and the first night there we go out to eat

127:09and it's a huge dinner and I'm like I'm sorry I was like oh playa you know I got that Bert Kreischer don't worry about it you just you only have a great weekend I said no I got a plan don't even review a while when you're around move around we may so we go out that night everyone goes drinking we have a great time the next night we go out to eat everyone goes out to eat Ralphie once again I go to pay for when he goes I'll Playboy you know you know money's no good around me just come on you have a good time we go do a show have an amazing show we go out drinking again Ralphie picks up everything the last night there we go to sushi at Nobu and Leanne says you can't let Rafi pay you got to pick up the bill and I went okay so I go over to the lady before before I'm gonna be up numbers I'll tell you that right now but I go over the lady before the bill comes and

127:56I go hey the big guys not paying here's my credit card she's like okay so we eat and I drink and we and I drink and Ralph is getting like boats right boats like they're just like you know 50 pieces who she yeah cool deaton dolphins and I am doing sake bomb after sake bomb and the lady comes of the check and it's like two thousand dollars I did not have $2,000 and I did not I didn't have enough money that for the tip like I didn't I was like why'd you think you could pay I didn't know what the bill would be I don't never paid attention that stuff I didn't know what I just did you ever eat out no but I didn't I wasn't paying attention to what the bill would be I thought it'd be 500 bucks 600 I didn't know what how expensive sushi at Nobu was that everything is through the roof mmm she puts the check in front of me and I open it up and I see it and I immediately freeze and Liang goes how

128:51much is it and just in station I go you that's how much it is and she goes and Ralphie then I go Ralph Ralphie goes don't worry player we go out win it back so I go to our bank machine and I pull out $1,000 and I go over and I put it on black hits red slide we liam won't speak to me it's probably worse four biggest fights we've ever been in we're fighting in the lobby and I'm hammered she's mad because you bet the extra money no because I said you that's how much it is don't ever talk to me like that you're my partner we're team but if I go I didn't know what to say in the moment it was a it was more money than we had I was like at the time that was like probably three weeks on the road for me of course it's crazy I mean gambled away a thousand like a god Mickey Mantle gene my favorite part of that story is just like you know that you got shamed you know

130:02that's what I love about it what what makes you feel good about that it's just it's my friend doing something stupid we haven't worked this out right now two week no I have to bring Ari in on this right because he can't can of no say he couldn't be here we hope right now right now okay call him up yeah let's see if he answers so what's a fall at the same time who knows that's I know he's answering you see stingy Joe did you get him you trying good what what do this stupid thing hey you're on speaker with Joe and Tom we can all hear you and we're doing just like that hey we're talking about the bed here's what we're thinking right so with these Maya's own fitness trackers Joe did 200 today he's plans on doing two-a-days so we're thinking the person who gets the most most calories most points burnt in a week doesn't have to pay for anything out of this challenge of course everything that's

131:28joke murder my agents now calling no so the bet is we're gonna weigh from we're fighting we're we're going to a fight in Las Vegas okay Joe thinks he can get hang up with your agent be scared there we go here we go first place don't have to pay for nothing second place would have to pay for we're thinking maybe one meal third place will have to pay for lodging just let me finish third pace will pay for lodging fourth place will play for the person with the most fitness points points for the month we'll get in first place the person with the second-most Fitness points will get in second place and so on now there's a suspect going wait wait wait and the prize is going to a big fight a big boxing but big boxing match in in Las Vega hmm yes first place the person with the most fitness points for the month will not have to pay for one thing second place what about a pubic hair beard come on

132:51see I knew he would turn this into humiliation we all we all come on the losers face though that's part of it Briggs a goblet of our piss combined piss and I'm eating asparagus wait but so Ari are you in are you in are you in on the BET the weekend it's not be a weekend everyone can go yeah we'll figure out the weekend it's other vent yeah but we're gonna be high as it'll be fun and tell them this there's a belt involved oh yeah the winner gets the belt we're getting a championship belt sober October belt and you're gonna have to defend it every year you're having it made and it's gonna have pills on it with a line through it heroin on it with a line through it the guy sucking his own dick okay no we were gonna go to see Floyd Mayweather rematch Manny Pacquiao we don't have to do it though but it's fun fun to be in Vegas with like a gentleman yeah we're all together yeah we don't

134:04have to work we're just all there to hang out we're gonna smoke cigars like a gentlemen I think it takes place sometime in December but they they haven't made the date they haven't made the date yet you're in right you're gone as a sender where you going European what if we go to a good Bellator event where I don't have to work you want to go see an MMA event I can't take off one okay I tell you one thing we could do one that I don't have to do cuz I only do the big ones I don't do the ESPN ones and the some of the ESPN ones are gonna be really big I could be in the audience for that yeah yeah let's do that okay okay now we don't worry about tickets okay all right the loot the fourth-place has to fight play for the flight and we're flying private yeah just just to Vegas it's not a lot if it's a Vegas event though I'm probably gonna work it I'm gonna be

135:17honest with you okay so it's just - oh you have to be like in New York it's not that much yeah Toronto so take care of that sent you an email if you email the email that I just sent you a text message if you email that address they'll send you a facility code right away just so you send an email to support at I sent you all the details just say I needed a facility code did you buy yours on Amazon me - yeah didn't send me a facility code here Ari are you in for a tiered financial bet for a UFC event where Joe doesn't have to work and okay let's find let's find a sweet little spot of humiliation in this over the last place okay last place has got there's a punishment involved get drink piss everybody's pissed oh no no no goblet oh no way you guys are friends straight from the top like a Yeti tumbler JRE tumbler and we'll right the piss champion on it this one right here we'll keep it we

136:44always keep it on this table so we'll know that the person drank the other people's pissed I'll be like Forrest Gump this mother said man why don't you guys just come on my back that's the fear factor I'll drink a gallon of yeah sure Ari he doesn't believe that you could ever possibly win this there's no way Bertil even come in third there's no way what do you think of this re but what about what about Bert's Mickey Mantle Jean yeah I'm on a cruise next year I'm trying to get Bert to die trying to keep up with me for days and then we'll add we will come up with a and what maybe this will be fun will a very tasteful yet meaningful punishment for final for last place well tasteful you just you're at our ease wheelhouse yes tasteful humiliating put on a frozen hot dog up your that's what he's talking about yeah thought is too slippery well we could certainly do something at the end of

138:25April we could figure it out look yeah we'll figure that part of it out but you're in right you're in on the bed yeah okay that's all we needed to know cool the bet is first-place pays for nothing second-place pays for a meal third-place pays for a lodging and fourth place pays for a private jet you're in you're in what's wrong that's part of what's humiliating just don't hate so much money just don't come and forth yeah don't come in for it yeah yeah enjoy those long walks in the East Village yeah yeah those will definitely make you win how about a helicopter Winnebago across the country why's it gotta be my mommy related it makes you feel terrible but we're all like the whole thing is that we're having fun together yeah it's not supposed to be like really all right wants you to suffer he wants you to drink his piss and wears pubes on your face you got to get the names of

139:47the of the three winners tattooed on your left on your right hand on the inside palm of your right hand yeah but I do like the belt I do like the fact bells great we have to defend the belt that way the person who has the belt whoever wins they get to keep it in their house and make videos you know this all the social media points you can get stand in front of that belt letting everybody know and Tom will finally have a belt that fits him so this is this has nothing to do so it's not about how many calories you burn it's just about these weird points that this thing makes which is basically related to effort it's like effort points yeah it's a good it's a good system yeah you're incorrect sorry you're okay what do you want to do what do you think it should be Tommy buns has to leave wolf we'll sort this out but for sure they'll be a belt involved for

141:13sure they're boring to us re how about this can you agree on this tiered structure if we find an event that you are comfortable and really excited yeah I'm gonna vent - go - it doesn't have to be I mean I think UFC would be fun for I've never seen a UFC fight but a tiered tiered structure of punishment meaning for the bottom three a humiliation for number four belt for the winner single day by the way single day calorie burn the person with the most points for one single day that person gets a brand-new suit that all people have to pay for hmm yeah no we're gonna get David August to do it only the guy who makes suits for Conor McGregor and me really so we only make smalls really just joking Putin maybe will knows Kim Jong Un's guy by the end of this yeah but that'll be fine because we'll have a belt yeah the winner will get to parade around birds are birds already got the

142:49belt sitting on a shelf he's playing white as his little Instagram stories in front of the belt I can't wait listen man you got a lot of resolve I saw how you manned up for the yoga challenge you might man up by the way I'm doing the yoga challenge too I'm doing both things yeah yeah for sure I'm gonna do 15 hot yoga classes as well I'm going hard I'm trying to cook Bert I'm going hard I'm trying to match Joe Robert to Chloe yeah the last time you worked that was probably what we did jujitsu together I want Bert to fall apart I want Joe to recognize the Mickey Mantle gene that's listen I want bird to fly apart I wanted to fall apart trying to keep up though he's not good he's not good he's not I just did all my measurements my priests or October treasurer Mints not good re who do you weigh right now 246 he's dead that guy's dead 246 chest 12:48 belly 44 waist 44 belly no belly

144:1248 waist 44 and then calves and biceps for 1618 what were you at the end of the weight loss challenge - 25 to 22 maybe Wow I was - 16 at the end of sober October last year Wow yeah I'm going back I'm getting back I'm getting back I'm telling you right now I have motivation I'm want that belt i want that belt and i'm not gonna pay for anything and i want and i'm i want to see the look on your face when you're like when you look at some of my numbers you're like what the is he doing he tease me he's cheating he's cheating he's putting his on his dog good luck with that I'm excited I'm so excited this is not my wheelhouse oh I'm so excited Lucille I get five hundred a day I want to see if I can hit 500 a day every day I'm just gonna do different things every day and I'm gonna power I'm gonna wear it what do I I'm gonna be this is the tortoise in the air I'm just

145:16gonna try to wear this my way through this month yeah so it is okay Xaro word I don't know but I had the pegged I was at 97% for a half an hour you are just do it go crazy are a tiered punishment we all can agree on correct re single day most points suit and we can add humiliation per like meaning like if we come up with something during the month that we all think solaris text it to each other we put it out on social media and we hold ourselves to that yeah this will do because there'll be a belt if Bert wins will never hear the end of it that belt will be on the shelf in front of every Instagram video he makes hey hey you guys might knew me I'm Bert Kreischer still brougt / champion or like I like to call it silver October that's gonna be my motivation is all murder and death and his motivation is all just gonna be like Instagram stories I'm not I'd be amazing at that re hmm

146:45remember I barked at the boston comedy club that's my that's my wheelhouse was talking to strangers you know that true I would do in a heartbeat I would do that for a video I just do it for I don't care about begging for money I don't think he finds it enticing I get it okay well we'll figure it out we'll figure the tiered structure we'll make it so the second place doesn't play as much a third place it doesn't pay as much support hey I'm definitely going for that by the way Joe just made eye contact with me and I averted my eyes you looked at me like are you being serious I'm so excited about this I might take the whole month off comedy I might work out day and night I might just want to say I want to see what my body can do I might just go really crazy let's see what happens I got a lot of machines here too I'm the only one of us that has a full gym yeah

147:57you can come over here any time you like fella are you talking about are you leave you can do yeah yeah you could use my gym yeah I don't know how to use half those mists yeah I'll work out with you taking my treadmill and dropping it off here it's actually fun to work out together we can make videos yeah we're gonna get either way when it's over we're getting up so are you gonna be around at all any time in November re November 5th he said fifth six okay fifth or sixth he said I think fifth one which one works for everybody fifth I think we all texted to see the fifth or the sixth like fifth works better for Tommy okay that's that works for me man the fifth is perfect fifth or the sixth either one oh no the sixth I've got it I got a show I have to do the 6:00 at night at five o'clock there's a television show I gotta do but I can do the fifth I think

149:00the fit was 7 v work better for Tommy all right so the fifth will get plowed we're gonna bring in a I'm gonna get a kegerator whoo yeah we'll get kegs Tito's Oh what do you need Ari for the fifth we'll get it in advance you like whiskey right Pappy Van Winkle what's your favorite bourbon text me your favorite bourbon we'll get a case of it uber drivers no Tom can the fifth works better for everyone fifth is everybody so sober October the fifth will be the celebration day and then the day where hopefully yeah so when he flies back we'll get him up as soon as he wins yeah this is gonna be awesome I'm gonna go towards mine right now and then go put in another workout they'll email you and me immediately and if you are need no did you send it to the support the email that I just sent in the text message they didn't say well they'll send it to you quickly they're gonna

150:24hear about this first of all they're gonna hear about this so they're probably gonna email you quicker but if you have any ideas about the design of the belt feel free to chime in there too cuz we gotta order that soon because it takes like three or four weeks oh yeah I think it'd be cool to have each of our faces as one of the side things with our thing though is hard it's like you have a joint near my I have a Tito's in my face and Tom is a piece of cake we'll figure it out all right all right we'll figure it out I'm so excited for this it's gonna be fun dude I need these things in my life for some reason I'm not I can't motivate and let's I about your goal it's serious motivation you know what else this you know I was a little skeptical when I first thought about this but then in using the app while you're using the app it's showing you your actual numbers while you're

151:26doing it and when you're when you're when you're in the middle of it like you're seeing the actual numbers take place really yeah you summon friend request no no no too vague notifications on I just question Tom okay should we accept other people should know just the three of us for but live your life like that I don't know this is gonna be fun it's gonna be really gonna be a good one I wonder how much weight we're gonna lose I'm like 197 198 right now I think I'm gonna get down below 190 do body measurements so I think that like I did chest across the nipples belly across the bellybutton waist and then biceps calves and thighs mmm I'll tell you all my exact measurements right now I think I just think I was accurate my blood pressure today was my doctor's call about my blood pressure today to figure out Jesus well no because when I do sober October it goes solo it's not bad

152:20no but I'm on medication he wants to kind of met watch my medication if I what do you want losartan and Loretta there's another thing Jesus are you on that because I have high blood pressure 1:29 number 95 is it today but is that a natural thing you have high blood pressure is it because of drinking I think it's probably lifestyle induce and these were being overweight and probably from drinking all but some bad thing yeah but they got you on pills yeah but yeah but it's better than a stroke like I think me being proactive in getting in seeing a cardiologist these past five years mmm has been the best thing that ever happened to me right because there's significant side effects to a lot of those things really yeah you gotta look into that stuff I'd like to get off the pills altogether I'd like to get down I would like to I mean we talked about it jokingly but I'd like to get below 205

153:12you can do that and keep it there listen man when you got to 220 or you got to 216 you said the silver October white what's to stop you from losing 11 more pounds you could do that you think about what fighters do how about my friend cam Haynes when he was getting down to run 240 miles he wanted to get down to 169 or below so you know what he did he ate 2,000 calories burned off three just kept doing it every day so anytime people say they can't lose weight I go oh you can you just gotta be willing to do with the people that actually lose weight do it's all the time losing weight it's hard mm-hmm I mean I don't have what how I lose weight is not the healthy way you crash I go let's drop calories below a thousand right because we actually discussed this on a podcast very recently the problem is your metabolism crashes as well and your body goes in this famine mode and it wants to

154:08protect calories so anything you do eat you gain back much quicker and then it's far more difficult for you to lose again because your body has a mechanism in place to protect yourself yes your body thinks it's you know we have to hold on to these calories it slows you down you're we're talking like one of the guys Lane Norton who's a he was involved in bodybuilding and he was saying that his blinking was slower he was blinking slower because his you know he's shredding getting down to it like low body weight yeah his metabolism crashed so hard that he was literally blinking and thinking slower and thinking is for you for a comics terrible to be thinking slower when you're on stage is the last thing you want you know have you just worked out like a maniac and eat healthy just cut out the sugar and the fat and all the your body will slim down I'm just gonna go clean I had a

155:00nutritionist talk me through how to eat what did I say well the thing that here's the thing I always had a problem was she was like you need to eat before you work out you need a little bit of oatmeal you need some energy for your workout you don't necessarily I fast cardio all the time I thought well that's what I've been doing the 16-hour fast she might be old school if there's a lot of people that are looked neat Rishon and the science behind athletic performance has changed so much over the last 5-10 years it's not you know just talking to some random nutritionist it might not be the best person to talk to they might not be I don't I don't want to say cuz I don't know her yeah but she might not be on the ball she I just I feel like I had so much information especially when you listen to this podcast you get so much information Zac bitters like you got to go fatty meats

155:45and then and then and then you hear jordan Peterson's daughter saying that mm-hmm all these and then you go oh it's a very specific situation she has severe autoimmune issues severe yeah and she's most likely according to other nutritionists that I've talked to she's probably got some gut bacteria issue that she needs to get her gut biome sorted out it's also above my paygrade quite honestly I mean I've I get interested in this stuff and I talk about there's some things that I could say with certain amount of certainty but not really what you should and shouldn't do in terms of each individual person in their diet I would say if I was you what I would get down to is I would say definitely start eating a lot of vegetables there's that's pretty much universal everybody agrees except these crazy carnivore people but I think their situation is like either an elimination

156:34diet or a calorie restricted diet which is not really the best for performance I don't think for the kind of you're trying to do yeah I think broccoli kale spinach all that stuff sauteed all that stuff's fantastic for you then on top of that I mean obviously I eat red meat I'm a big fan of red meat I think you should eat just like very nutrient-dense meat and I think you should take multivitamins just to cover all your bases you know there's a bunch of like really good green supplements that you can add to water or you know little packets you could take count your calories No so you just eat until you're full yeah really yeah how many calories do you think you eat it day I really don't know like if you had to guess what's the elk is pretty lean yeah that's pretty lean and you looks like you're eating maybe eight ounces i elk I probably eat a pounded-out a day for sure at least yeah

157:26I mean I you shoot one you have 400 pounds of meat I have some fee if you want I definitely do I got a bunch of sausage elk sausage is sensational really love it you'll love it I'm definitely up for that yeah okay I got a bunch in the back okay I got these freezer bags too we can take it home with um I would say just cut out the sugar and the bread and the pasta and if you just do that you'll lose a ton of weight you lose a ton of weight just doing that I mean this one's gonna be awesome yeah man just vegetables just eat it you know get yourself a big bowl of broccolini and cook it with butter and olive oil and put garlic salt on it it's healthy it feels good you eat it your body responds well to it you know this is the only good nutrients meant and just realize you're gonna have to get a lot of rest and you got to drink a ton of water because you're gonna be keeping up with some

158:17terrifying numbers we're going hard this month Burke right ready 31 days man 31 days yeah the end been amazing jack shred it you're gonna be like skinny Burt like from that photo maybe I don't maybe I'll do TRT dude if you win do you know how you should do trt would you ever get your hormones test tested she get him tested just to find out where you're at it'll help everything helps your immune system helps your energy levels really helps your concentration yeah it's literally like I've enhancing place you can get TRT yeah well you don't you got to do it look at that picture yeah that's my 40th birthday yeah there's one 40th birthday yes slender face see right there you are like 5 pounds from being shredded if you right there and you lost five pounds you'd have a six-pack I think that I did the cusp I lost that weight in nineteen days Wow see the problem is when you do that

159:15the yo-yo you you're crap why is a picture of me shirtless right under Bert's picture of us that's for me when I was like 26 oh my god it's me on Newsradio 20 Mel's 27 you sexy well so yeah the problem is losing the losing the weight crash the problem with the crash is see if you lose the weight over the month because you're just burning it off like a madman but you're eating a lot your body's not gonna be in famine mode your body's just gonna be more efficient it's gonna need more calories and you definitely should lift weights that's one thing you should do over this Mart and lifting weights will also add to this I plan is lifting weights kickboxing running hills yoga and then various cardio machines from the Versa climber to the rower to the echo bike I'm gonna rotate them all so I can keep doing all of them yeah so you do different ones I got the rower in my

160:14house I got the assault air fitness trainer don't deny yourself any food though just pound food yes pound food all the time because you're just gonna be you're gonna be so hungry all right and I think yeah if I do I mean if I figure if I do two days and then land and just go I know what I gotta get a day yeah yeah it just keep going yeah mmm it's gonna be great for all of us it was I was thinking about that today when I was when I was working out I was like wow this is uh it's when you're looking at the numbers on that thing it's very motivational you know it's it's funny one before when I was in college I ran and what was really fun they said these runners journals is to get done your run and write them in like tracking your fitness tracking your workout is it's really fun to look at numbers and stand-up it's almost like it feels like some like almost like a hoarders vibe or

161:07like an OCD vibe yeah it's definitely better like when it's on this app than it is if you just know you worked out yeah yeah I used to what I used to when we Fitbit first came out I used to get I had to get to 12,000 every day and I would cry would land from flight get up to my hotel room open a bottle of wine and just start dancing weird as I think if someone came and complained I they would think I was on meth yeah it's it feels good it feels good to set goals but I always tell people like one of the best ways to get things done is to write things down it is it's such a huge motivating factor like you have a list of that you have to do today and check those off and then at the end of the day you feel good like you go to bed you feel good I checked off all those things on my list I'm better now I feel better than I was before yeah my wife's a big list maker huge when you make a list it

161:58really does organize your day like I when I was shooting now shooting the promo thing for my tour next week and I shot it this weekend in San Jose and and I was like I had all these different things I needed to do my wife's like make a list and I went oh yeah so I wrote down all the shots I needed that I feel like I didn't felt like I didn't get the night before and then just banged it out I was like wow that was easiest yeah it's so much better than like trying to remember what about what else do I need to do and then like half-ass in it you know what you did that's very impressive you came up with a new hour pretty quick like how long did it take you to come up with a new hour I came up with it I I don't know maybe like February March April May June six months what did you do to ramp up your writing super aware so my biggest thing for me which I think

162:49held me back and I've I've talked about this a lot maybe a lot but when you were in production brain you you didn't have room for comedy brain like when I was making a TV show I never didn't have the room for comedy and so I might be obsessed with a bowl so there might be something wrong with me but when I'm in comedy brain and which is when I'm when I'm doing a special it's focused on only that material like only that material but when I'd done the special I just went up and was like here it's a most enjoyable time of my life it's like everything was a bit just walking around I was looking for things and just being inspired by the littlest thing even to this day but it's part of the reason I like to go over to New York and do podcasts and around I was on Anthony humans podcast I came up with two bits in the moment that I was like dude those are great those are going

163:32to new environment and new feeling you bring iron and and done not denying myself the opportunity of a bit because a bit is silly or goofy or hacky in my head I go that's okay let's keep working that right and so I have right now I have like 55 minutes that I'm that I feel is really solid but the goal now and sort of like we were talking Thomas talking about untangling it it's like weaving it in so that one that follows the other one so right now I'm playing with these bits putting them in different places trying to figure out what could follow a bit that's the funnest part also right and then once I do that and once I have know what I'm doing my next special that's what it almost becomes less fun for me it's like I don't want to go to the storks I don't want to write new bits but like in this in the salad days of when you're just all writing I love that just

164:22growing up on stage and going in LA and be like I bought a gun and just going just feeling the energy and begin like oh I'm in it I'm in it I don't know where this is going right I could lose them right I wouldn't be joking I went and bought a gun cuz I thought it would be a good bit I went I went and said did you say that on stage no you should but that should be part of the bit are you serious yeah done I bought a gun I was driving down Burbank and I was like all this gun talk and I was like I don't have any gun material I was like I should buy a gun and I have a real gun nut on your podcast to talk to you about guns I should you know she'd get get on Kolia noir I did that guy I follow around YouTube he was on my podcast a good guy yeah he's grandpa's to be black yeah I'm gonna be like the progressive guy that makes it seem like there's something wrong you're pointing

165:10it out yes he happens to be an african-american no but in that culture you have to bring it up in that culture that is so interesting that they it's almost like the I feel I like when he had mr. Mike on Magic Mike Magic Mike killer McCallum icon yeah it was really cool to hear this - Mike Magic Mike Mike it was cool to hear their perspective on it you know cuz culturally you always see it come for the NRA come from this like white redneck thing ya know he's well you know he makes real good points and I mean he wasn't a lawyer he was a lawyer right I'm pretty sure was yeah but he makes really good points in terms of like personal safety and responsibility the thing about like edit people to equate NRA with mass shootings and all kinds of their crazy which is not really totally fair cuz no NRA member has ever committed a mass shooting you know whenever something happens they

166:02think oh this is all because these people you know want the other people to have access to these kind of guns that's the real connection as always in ad nauseam I've talked about this too much is psychotropic drugs those people are almost all on some sort of psych medicine all of them yeah the is it caught is it causation or correlation that's the problem is the psychotropic drugs cause causing them do this or are they on psychotropic drugs cuz they're crazy and they shouldn't have a gun anyway and it should be more difficult I'm I'm a hundred percent in believe that you should test people and that there should be some sort of standards in terms of mental health in terms of whether or not you've committed assault whether or not like those kind of things whether or not you have a history of mental illness whether or not you have a history of lashing out or

166:50violent outburst yeah those kind of people shouldn't have guns but the kind of people that think everybody should have access to a gun I think that's a little an irresponsible but the kind of people that think no one should have a gun I think that's irresponsible to that's crazy talk I mean it's not gonna happen in our country no not in this one no but you should have him on man or there's other gun nuts I could turn you on to my friend Justin's legit gun not just him Justin call it he's been on my podcast before he's a legit giant he's like seven feet tall but he's a real gun nut he lives in Vegas he has so many guns you know how many guns yes oh no no I'm thinking of the the the fighter Frank Mir is a big gun guy he's a giant gun guy yeah Frank Mir strapped everywhere he goes he's got like one in his ankle one up his ass Frankie here's a really interesting guy smart dude he

167:39did my this is there's something about cage fighters where there is there's their very direct and they say what they mean and they mean what they say Tate was the first person that I ever ran into that was like that mm-hmm he texted me and I didn't text back and he texted again and then he texted hey man I'm starting to get feelings about this and then I was like oh yeah Frank Mir said he came to my podcast we had a cigar while we doing the podcast and he just it's like I'm such and maybe I'm such in this weird Hollywood world where people don't mean what they say that I'd I'm used to that and he goes that was a really great cigar we should do this we should have another one I was like cocaine he's like what are you doing it like 8:00 tonight and I was like I'm here and he was like I'm gonna go do a podcast so I'm another cigar I was like okay I sure I think I never see him again

168:25he's he'll back up at 7:55 he's like you ready for that cigar and my backyard we spoke to another cigar it just talked it was like he it's not fine as being sincere is an oddity yeah it's the world of acting that's what it is you know around these the world of auditions and actors and producers and exactly this this strange land we live in man this right here this happens in other places but it just is very prevalent here yeah like where people just aren't genuine and they're not honest yeah but this is like people just lick their finger and stick it out in the wind try to figure out which way the winds blowing and that's the way they go like yeah because everybody just wants everybody to like them out here because everyone's auditioning for things this is such a strange place man I saw my buddy Eddie is a like a man you know the Cuban from Florida he'll fistfight his check you know

169:18just a regular guy actual man he came out first time he came out there was a comic oral say his name who was holding court at the Hollywood improv and he was making fun of me like as the joke everyone was laughing and I was laughing and my buddy Eddie just kind of looked sideways and we got in the car and he was white why'd you let that happen I go he's super famous I mean you know it's like whatever he's not man now he's he's smaller than you why are you just knock him out that's not how it works out here he goes yeah it is yes it does let him say that to me yeah that's how it works and he's like dude I I don't like that disrespectful I was like well it's different out here at he goes no it's not you're different you're letting it be different well it depends on how close you are with the guy because if you're really close with the guy and he's saying funny things and you think

170:11they're finding you laughing sincerely like we bust on each other all the time yeah but it's not disrespectful it's just hilarious it's just I think it's I think everyone knows that we're all close friends it's our language but there are people who are not your close friends so you look at birdie there with blue blue and then they'll start with you and it gets a little slippery and gross it's especially there's there's it's narcissism it's guys who believe just they think they'll Alfa yeah yeah and it's funny I know I definitely have changed from that when you know when you're young and you're hungry in this business and you want to succeed you don't want to tell a famous guy that might be able to give you work and then don't talk to me like that because then you almost like blackballed yourself right well you've had some bad experiences we don't need to mention any

170:56names but you had some bad experience for the particular comedian that was like that where you know we've talked about it there's there's mental mentally ill people that are in this business too you know there's that it's tough I said yeah I feel like I feel like sometimes I draw them in yeah oh so nice yeah and I and I I'll say this about myself I'm very creative and I like to around I like to you know and I think some people see that as a weakness I there's someone that I'm told you privately that stole from me there was a friend separate and it I man that makes me angry so I go I remember when it happened and I had already dealt with something else that was similar to that I remember I was at my wife's lake house when someone texted me and said hey man did you give that joke to that person mm-hmm and I was like no man it pulled this thing in my in my it'd that

171:51was like I remember thinking do you think I'm weak do you think I won't say anything do you think do you think that you can do it to me right and I didn't say anything I didn't say anything cuz I learned the first time around that it really almost like all these women that come out about sexual assault it does it doesn't benefit you to come out and say that someone stole a joke from you you just just equate stealing I know I know but no but it's it's coming it's that coming forward thing right weren't you like we look at women and say there's no benefit and go people go over I know they don't there's not a lot of benefit to go and say you've been raped because now you're gonna that's what you're defined us and and you've got to defend yourself from something you didn't do to yourself and so when you get stolen from them obviously that is a stretch of an

172:33equivalent but to come out and defend yourself people do start attacking you go why would you even say anything dude you're just used to just jealous well you have to put yourself out on a limb if you're talking about someone taking something like a joke from you too because you have you have to hope that people side with you so like say if some famous person steal something from you you have to hope when you come out that that they're not that a bunch of people gonna jump on his side and attacked you which is totally possible yeah and if they do then you're then you're out on a limb dude I went through I went through and I screen grabbed everything that was proof unequivocably screen grabbed everything them mmm I got everything yeah oh they'll never do anything with it but you know what man the good lesson is now that person you could write off forever it's

173:22like what was it was a good fella's what was it what was the movie like you got off light like now you know the for $20 or $200 whatever it is now that person never has to talk to you again yeah good you know you sometimes it's sometimes when someone does something like that you're like okay now I can write you off and write them off in a very interesting way as a comic to know oh you never had it you never will you don't got what I have I can make more of that I think I do for a living oh you oh my god so when you really don't have any material and you don't know how to write you don't know how to write new material oh shut the up so that's what you can't do Oh suck a dick let's there's a - there's two different types of mindsets the type of mindset where someone like steals someone else's ideas and tries to pass them off as their own is the kind of the

174:14opposite mindset as to someone who's creative because when you're creative you're thinking about a bit you're not thinking about yourself and how the bit is gonna work for you and how it's gonna kill when you get out there but when you're stealing if some like say if you have a bit about lollipops I go oh I wish that was my bit I'm gonna steal that lollipop bit if it's gonna kill and then I do that lollipop bit and it crushes and I call I feel so good when I do that lollipop pit they get addicted to it that's one of the things about people that get called out for bits and they say oh I'm not gonna do it anymore and then I heard he did that bit at the Laugh Factory you hear because they had addicted to get addicted to the reaction that bit gets see there you're addicted to coming up with new stuff like and I am and the people that are try to be creative what you're trying to do is you

175:02have you're trying to like summon these ideas out of the ether you're trying to pull them out of the air and then once you have them like okay I got it in a bottle I got it in a bottle okay not gonna had things to it I'm gonna bring it alive I got a Frankenstein and it's alive yeah and then one day months and months later you trot that bit out at the improv and it crushes and that is one of the most amazing feelings we get some of yeah like someone like Sam Tripoli cover bill burr come up and go dude like it's working I got it's often yeah but we all love that about each other - I love when someone's got a new bit I don't go as I knew what is that bit oh dude I know your last this hour that comes out to my tonight at midnight I remember watching you run it in the o.r at its infancy probably like eight months ago right when I was getting ready to in February when I was getting

175:51ready to tape my special I saw you doing yours and I was like oh is this your new material and you're like yeah I'm getting ready to film and you know a couple months and I was like oh like dude that's the greatest feeling when you sit as a comic in the back and you watch your friends just murder it inspires you with you haven't heard yeah yeah oh that's the best yeah but people that still never get that they will never get it they're missing that it's sad it's it's a sad thing because they're always gonna have to live this weird lie you know either the weird lie of creativity because creativity is so slippery and you can't be thinking about yourself that's not what it's about it's the opposite about that it's all about the idea it's all about how it gets to the people it's all about how it works like you have to like take yourself literally out of the

176:40equation but the people steal there it's all about them it's all about them getting a good feeling doing someone else's bit and I really think that that there's there's this weird balance to the world and I think when when you do that I think it takes away from your ability to do the other thing takes away from your ability to be creative I would almost argue I'm the exact opposite when a bit gets up and running and murderous I almost feel like I'm lying to the audience like I'm cheating going right going like you know it works like I've been doing it too long I have a hard time doing sets at the store when I'm when I got my hour ready I know what am i doing going therefore I mean I'm still in a spot from someone who couldn't use it and I'm just going up with that works like come on Bert yeah but you're givin the audience a good time and you're keeping everything sharp that's

177:25the other thing like once a bid is done it's you can't just leave it alone because like if I had to today go up and do my Bruce Jenner pit wouldn't be able to do it I don't know how to do it I haven't done it in two years I literally wouldn't be able to do it was one of my best bits ever and I wouldn't I wouldn't know where to start I would have to go back listen to it and then I would have to go do it a bunch of times it's get it polished again it's really fun though when someone calls out a joke that you haven't told in years and you're like I did it this past week I do I do an hour twenty five minutes show our 20th show where I do it with my new hour and then at the end whatever bits I want to hear I'll tell that's nice and it's two-man show so I give someone do fifteen minutes and I do the rest mmm and that way I feel like people definitely want to hear flying dildos or

178:10the machine or and someone called out Mexican kid in the elevator and I was like whoa I haven't done that since like my first special do it I didn't and super nice I started doing it and I was like and I was and I just kind of it's your muscle memory goes back in and then you're like and you're so much better of a comedian now that the things that you would have never said back things you didn't know how to do it you just start adding ad-libs in and it just kills and you're like man I had a guy come onstage once he asked me to do a bit I go I don't remember how to do a bit he goes I do I go get up your stage and I had him kind of do the bit I go yeah I remember that part okay okay you know I saw some guy on Instagram did he goes he was doing my machine bit as a joke like he's an open mic or maybe it's 10:00 time on stage or whatever and his friends I guess her fans and he was like

179:03when I was 22 I got Bob the Russian machine or with with the Russian mafia here's how it happened and they all started laughing because I'm just kidding I ain't doing that but it made me giggle cuz he missed he misspoke it's not the way I say it I got I got a little scuffle with the Russian mafia and I throw something and it made me giggle yeah yeah it's weird how people interpret you're like when you do something and then people really like it and they take it and they make a clip about it or something or they add something to it or they the one of the weirder things has been the animated that people do yeah you know see just like you go you we were talking about this the other day that when you're in this room and you're doing this podcast it just seems like you and me are talking and that's one of the reasons why it works or you and me and whoever else is here but the for the

179:54people that hear it you're the actual numbers that you're dealing with is you're dealing with millions of people like that doesn't seem to register in your head and then you'll see these clips and you see like these memes and you'll see like these videos and you see like these animated shorts and you see people do impressions of you and you're like wait what what the is that it takes and then you see people get tattoos of your face on their ass or something like that like on your calf they get you smiling your beard and your under calf and you're like what the the machine it'll to like I saw do to have that Russian t-shirt tattooed on his body the one that you made with the machine with the Russian language which is like looking off into space insane it's weird it's insane especially like I mean dude when I when I saw that Joe Rogan meets Rogan I was just you guys a wizard whoever did

180:51that I had gotten done a show in Oxnard and my kids were in the other room my wife there's a new one out with you you know I just reposted it what Burt stop talking that made me that made me giggle so hard I could not stop I and I just got in hi and I was in a room by myself my family's in another room and I I was like dude I wish that I hope this guy knows how much joy he just gave me like whatever I was thinking about you know what I said or whatever I'm dying laughing I was like dude thank you man well it's the amount of effort that it takes to listen to so much audio that you can have a conversation play back and forth between a dude and his self like you don't make videos that guy must have to listen to and how much editing he had to do to do that - I want a fanboy out but I'm a huge fan and it cuts to you I was pissing myself I'm I literally hit pause you know what like

181:45when you get excited and you're like I think you had sent it to me maybe maybe I someone said maybe Tommy had sent it to me and I immediately was too late but I wanted to text everyone and go I won't ever want to see this and then when it cut by the way I'm already giggling some you know and then when it cut to me is the mangy chimp I howling I'm howling and I'm excited like rip your dick off yeah no and then when he just did the new one I gotta go pick up my daughter yeah when he just did the new one of me drinking he's 30 to 35 yeah this room's a time warp it really is it's a time warp and when the do you ever sit down and talk to somebody for three hours it's the best it's the best thing about these podcasts so you literally sit and catch up and bite break balls and giggle come up with brilliant challenges dude has changed me it's changed me as a

182:35person my but my ability to communicate is so much I'm just so much better at it than I was nine years ago when I first started doing this do you really are there I mean I can say this as a fan I think anyone who listens I've been listening to podcasts always listen to podcast you've changed immeasurably in almost the most renaissance way is like you have conversations with people I wouldn't know what the they even do but there's still hints of exactly who you are you're very measured in what you say and how you put out your ideas you listen you're willing to change I remember when you stopped saying I remember like when you were like you know what I think I'm gonna stop saying that on liking conversation I remember I was like oh that's a good idea maybe I was just up to we were in the old des quad yeah East or where West was it oh and Pasadena yeah yeah well the problem

183:25is it's a fun thing to say and you don't mean it in a homophobic way it's still fun to say I still let it slip out every now and age like a fine wine it's a fun thing to say but the problem is the way it makes other people feels not fun its language should be about intent it should be about you're conveying your intent through a sound yeah but the problem is it's not working correctly like if someone is hearing it on the other end it's making them angry and you're like but no I'm silly I'm being silly about it I'm a silly like they're like no no no you can't like okay well it's not this is an ineffective use of sound to convey my thoughts yeah and is it worth it to piss people off you know is it worth it like look what happened with Tommy and the word which he's not calling anyone that it's not the what the bid is about forbidden language and he literally all he said in that bit was

184:22that you're not allowed to use that word anymore and in saying that there was massive protest there's all these people freaking out because they don't even want you to utter the sound it's a real problem because that kind of thinking is nonsense like the this to say that it can't be used ever so you can't admit that it's a word like you cannot say it you cannot utter it but it's abracadabra that it's a magic word you can't even bring it up in conversation to it to understand that we are changing so this word whatever the word is that you can't say it anymore because people remember they were trying to get rid of bossy remember bossing though yeah yeah they were trying to say that bossy is a sexist word you shouldn't use bossy they abandoned it but it's that point is that they'll they'll try to find something to be offended by and they'll try to put whatever that word is into this

185:13forbidden category and then you can have so many words in that category that it's gonna be crazy and then you have noises that you can't make I think the real thing that's gonna change and I really think this is gonna happen is we're gonna figure out a way to bypass language there's gonna be a way to directly convey information to people without language and it's gonna happen through some sort of technology and Elon Musk was talking about it on the podcast or something called neural link that he's working on that's some sort of really revolutionary way to increase bandwidth between you and ideas and how ideas get to your head it's gonna be something that you wear and I think that's gonna be like step one and then you're gonna be able to do that from person to person and I think you know all this we're so invasive now with social media like it's so and and cell phones and

186:02electronics everything is in your life and people are getting closer and closer to each other and one of the side effects is that of that is that people now realize they can hurt you so they can attack you easier and they go and they can tear things down they can light things on fire because they can not necessarily because it's a wise thing or it's a measured thing or it's a really well thought out thing they're doing it just because it's a new thing that they can use like you gave a champ an ak-47 and they just start shooting up the jungle I mean literally that is what a lot of people are doing with social media but I think that is just a stage and that eventually we're going to bypass language I really I really think that yeah it's gonna be like emojis the way they can communicate through like a form of hieroglyphics almost this is a conversation we need to have on November

186:485th when I'm high we're gonna be big drunk up November 5th I can't wait let's wrap this up so we kind of have a parameter we'll figure it out as we go along I've got it written all right here I'll take a picture and leave it here all right but and this is a figure this is awesome this is awesome it's gonna be awesome the belts gonna be the because we're gonna have that belt every year I can't wait up Deluxe belt to fat leather brass beautiful all right you're special tonight at midnight midnight tonight it's called strange times it's amazing we're living I saw the material at the store thanks to them I'm so excited for you man I'm excited too nervous too bye everybody