Duncan Trussell

00:00The Joe Rogan Experience That's the music. That's the opening music. Because me and Duncan Trussell are flying through the fucking sky right now, ladies and gentlemen. Hello. Hello. We are attempting to do a podcast from a plane. And we were just having this intense conversation. We dropped an edible about an hour ago. Yeah. About an hour ago. And I think it's just starting to kick in. And the conversation was mostly about the origins of creativity and the sort of non-local feeling when you come up with ideas. When you really tap into ideas, it's not really you doing it. It's like you're an antenna, right? Yeah, it's like you're tuning into something that's out there. What's the word for it? No, I've heard this weird New Age word for it, too, and now I can't remember. Well, the muse is one that everybody likes to use for creativity.

01:26no some kind of like universal library or something there's a name for it some kind of like there's like some universal matrix of information that's non-local that mystics tune into and channel and that's kind of the source of I don't know the majority of like the real religions out there or what causes religion well we got on this subject because uh duncan has um uh plans for an isolation tank in his new place. And we were talking about how the thing about the tank, one of the reasons why you can be so creative in there is that you really kind of lose the whole idea of you when you can't see yourself. You know, you don't, nobody else sees you. You're in total darkness and total silence and you can't feel your body and you have no sensory input coming in. It's very difficult to think of yourself as, oh, I'm a Red Sox

02:17fan or, you know, hey, you know, you know me, I'm a Democrat till I die. You know, you You start thinking, you start instead kind of considering the ideas and considering life, you know, for what it really is. There's something about it just that being alone like that just strips away all the bullshit, you know? Yeah, everything in your waking environment is an affirmation of whoever you think you are. You know, like, when you look at people's, isn't that the weirdest thing when you go to someone's house and you see all this stuff on the wall? like it's like to remind themselves of what they are like pictures of their family like they're gonna forget that or like someone will have like an oil painting oh that's the worst thing I saw I went to someone's house they had an oil painting of them with their wife on the mantle but it's

03:03like what do you need to do you need to be reminded of what's happening or what's the why are you doing that I could see that they just want to like see it and get a good feeling of their loved ones on the wall like I could see both ways I could see that being like sort of a positive thing like they appreciate those people and so they get a a little positive feeling every time they see them on the wall but I could also see it's like they do it because everybody else is doing it and look at my beautiful house look at my how did I get here we we've got a picture of uh on our refrigerator one picture of someone's daughter I can't I don't even know who she is now but it's just this one little girl on an empty refrigerator it's the creepiest thing ever but yeah we're gonna we want to put on our because we have a space that's like a mantle area and we've

03:52been trying to figure out what to put there because we just moved in and we're gonna put one of those like cheesy football posters that say pride or discipline just to confuse everybody because it just doesn't make sense why we would have that those are awesome those are so off faith believing I was at a weed store the other day and in the back room they had ten of them on the wall and I couldn't read them but it was all like passion and it showed like a guy running near a mountain you know it's like determination there's an eagle coming in for a kill I mean I get the idea of you wanting to be inspired I enjoy being inspired but there's something about people that only post cool shit that other people say. Like, God damn it, don't you have any cool shit of your own? Yeah, come up with your own thing. Yeah. I like when someone posts a cool Oscar Wilde quote or something like that.

04:50But at a certain point in time, I need you to say something too. I need to know who you are. You're not just a jumble of quotes. Oh, I just heard a good Oscar Wilde quote. Success isn't enough. Friends must fail. Oh. Oh. How many people are like that? I don't know. A lot. There's a lot of people like that, man. There's a lot of people that secretly want you to crash into the rocks. Oh, yeah. You can always tell because their ears perk up when you start talking about something bad happening to you. Yeah. Yeah. There's people, when you start talking about some disaster that happened in your life, they're like a dry plot of land that's getting water for the first time. Just soaking it in. Like, yeah, go on, go on. Oh, that sounds terrible. What else happened? And they can't wait to go home and tell their girlfriend about your failure. And eventually, she'll go and break up with you.

05:44And then she'll be talking about how you got into talking about everybody's failures. But you wouldn't deal with your own bullshit. Over and over and over again. And on and on and on. Until you rot of cancer, you fuck. Yeah. It's called the evil eye. It really is. That's real, man. That's what it is. Negative energy is so real when it comes from people. Like, the whole idea sounds so hippie. But I've been around so many times, I've been around people where I felt shitty because I was around them because I knew they had bad thoughts. I used to, I was trying to animate this cartoon once called Boxed Leech Friend. And it's like... Boxed Leech Friend? Yeah, Boxed Leech Friend. And it's like this leech you can order. And it goes... Like a pet rock. Like a pet rock. And you put it on your arm and it just compliments you while it's sucking your life out of you. You're really great.

06:32Hold on a second. and we might not want to put this on the podcast, I think you could actually sell this. I think you shouldn't release this on the podcast. I think a leech as a friend, like goth kids, would totally be into that. I guarantee you, dude, I guarantee you, if you got in there with the right crowd, you could start selling pet leeches. For sure. Come on, that's not preposterous at all. I'm totally being serious. I believe you. I believe that you could sell real leeches. They won't kill you. A leech is not going to kill you, and they used to use them for medicine. Yeah, all that has to happen is like Marilyn Manson has to put one on his face and everybody will want to do it. Yeah, if you could get them, if Marilyn Manson started putting them on and then selling them, like Marilyn Manson showed up at some red carpet event and he had something on his arm,

07:15and they're like, what's that on your arm, Marilyn? He's like, that's a leech, I sell them. He would go crazy. He could get them colored or put like, he could bedazzle them. Bedazzle your leech. do you think is there any danger I'm ignorant as to what the medicinal uses were what did they use when people had poison or something to draw blood I think the idea was when you remove the blood it forces your body to make new blood they thought I think that your blood was infected and so you remove blood from your body, new blood's made new blood's clean until you heal Imagine how much it sucked to have a broken leg like 150, 200 years ago. Oh, that was it. Oh, you're fucked. That was it. You died, right? Yeah, it was pretty much over. I mean, you would either have a limp, you couldn't really do anything, you'd have to get an amputation.

08:15An amputation was just like a leather strop in your mouth, maybe some form of opiate, and then a saw covered in the dried blood of all the former patients because they weren't smart enough to figure out about germs yet. They were idiots, dude. You know where they used to think flies came from? Where? They thought that flies just magically appeared. Like, have you ever noticed how, like, your dog shits? And it's something that's always astounded me how quickly flies get around the ship but you haven't seen flies anywhere. so I guess flies just hide out in grass and they like wait for a shit and then they're like go go go but like back then they thought that it was called I think it was called spontaneous generation or they have a name for it I don't know you guys can let us know but it's where just like a fly would appear out of nowhere they just believed if you had like a disease

09:11flies just kind of popped in from another fly universe or something I don't know I heard this a very long time ago in one of my classes So I'm sure I'm lecturing it. Well, the whole idea about mushrooms, I mean, John Marco Allegro's work on mushrooms, I don't know, there's arguments about whether or not he got the, what is it, etymology? Etymology of the word, right? But what his work, what he was saying was that the word Christ traced back to a Sumerian word that meant a mushroom covered in God's semen. and that what they believed, since they didn't have microscopes and they couldn't see spores, when mushrooms just popped up out of nowhere and they didn't think there was any seeds there. They understood seeds, but they didn't know how these mushrooms could just exist so quickly. And then, of course, you take them and you have these intense psychedelic experiences.

10:05So they would think, of course, well, this is gifts from God. That was a supposition. It makes sense. I mean, look, if you were living 3,000 years ago, you didn't know what spores were and you ate mushrooms and you saw God. Well, that is really what happened. You really did see God. I mean, back then, if there is no science and there is no measurement and there are no spores and there is no origin of rain and clouds, and if there's no knowledge like that, well, then guess what? That experience exists on its own. And if that experience exists on its own with no context, that really is God. Yeah, absolutely. It's like less shit becomes God because we understand it more until we understand everything, and then everything becomes God. That's it. That's what's happening. It's like I was thinking like You know about the chakras You believe in the chakras? Yes, yeah I think it's possible

10:52I know vaguely what the thought behind it is But anything that's been around a long long time And is connected to yoga I always give it some validity Because here's something that I read Or I heard Actually I heard McKenna say this I think he was quoting somebody else But what the quote is that Yogis and schizophrenics All swim in the same water It's just that the yogi has scuba equipment. Oh, that's badass. Well, I think there's something to all of that stuff. I think what yoga really is at the heart of it, besides being a method for tuning into cannabis, because all those yogis smoked crazy amounts of hash and weed. Still do. Still do. In India, you see them smoking weed all the time. They're baked, man. All the time. Yeah, it's like part of their thing is taking pride in how many chillums you can smoke. Yeah, they are... Dude, how stoned do you have to be to grow dreadlocks,

11:51sit on a mat, and cover yourself in the ashes of cremated bodies? You are so high. When that makes sense. And they do that. You can look on YouTube. It's a form of yoga. They hang out. It's Shaivites, the Shiva worshippers, hang out in graveyards. I think they carry a little skull around with them. they're they're they're like totally about getting as close to death as you can to try to merge with the consciousness through the death energy but they also get really high yeah I think um the times that I've done yoga when I really got into it I've um I've done yoga and been completely sober and at the end of it absolutely been high like no doubt about it like had like a real question of intoxication for sure you get I mean really high I've walked out of yoga like super stoned or and not I haven't smoked anything yeah it's because you're you know you're dealing

12:46with like these energy systems that haven't been uh somehow been missed by western science which is kind of weird I mean think of like what's it called qigong or like what's that what's that called or tai chi it's dealing with like this the slow chinese martial art of movement and it's like this energy system that like uh I think acupuncture has something to do with it and I I know people who've like cured smoking from acupuncture that could also though be that they thought they were going to cure smoking from acupuncture you know it's like the power of the mind look the placebo effect is an unquestionable thing it really works on a lot of people if they believe that you know the sugar pill is gonna cure cancer or help them do something they will I mean they've proven it with a bunch of different things, even athletic performance. People, you know, it's not everyone.

13:39It doesn't work on everyone. Some people are skeptical. But for people that are true believers, the mind has some weird, untapped ability to do things. And we don't know what it is. We don't know why. We don't know why you can't just say, hey, I have a problem with my body. What I should do is just think about it and heal it. Well, you can do that, but it's way easier to pretend that, you know, this pill is going to heal it. And then all of a sudden your body just does it on its own. It's so weird how your mind can be your enemy or your best friend. Your mind is like, if you, you know, in the Bhagavad Gita, they compare the mind to, or the human body, the mind, the senses to a chariot. Like the greatest and most powerful chariot that there is. But if you don't have control of those forces, you are dead meat. Yeah.

14:30If I dropped you in a, you know what I'm saying, if I dropped you in a chariot with super powerful horses and was like, have fun, and you didn't know how to control those horses, you'd have like a zero lifespan. Well, you know what I think it's part of it is like it's kind of like a self-fulfilling prophecy thing that's related to your ability to create. Because of your ability to create positive things, you can also create negative things. So if like, you know, the whole idea behind the secret is that you can manifest your own world and you create your own destiny. Well, to a certain extent, yes. To a certain extent, if you really truly believe in things, things can happen for you. But if you really truly believe in shitty things, then shitty things can happen too. So you can create your own reality just with your paranoia, just with your negative thinking.

15:16It's just the same thing that you can create a positive reality. It's that creative energy. You just don't have a hold of it. Well, I've just been reading this awesome physics book, and the chapter I'm on right now is about reflection. And when you start thinking about the concept of reflection, it's really mind-blowing because everything you see and everything you hear is a reflection of a certain waveform. bouncing off of matter and going into your optic nerve or going into your ears. Now, if you think that that just stops with light and sound, you're crazy. Right. There's so many other things that are being reflected. For example, your actions in the world get reflected in the direct result of the way, or get reflected in the way people treat you and the way your life is. This is a direct reflection of how you're behaving. You're reflecting so much more.

16:17So the secret and all that stuff, it does make sense when you think, yeah, if in your brain you have awful thoughts and you're radiating this foul energy, that energy is bouncing right back to you through other people and events and circumstances. So it makes sense. With stuff like yoga, what that stuff is, is really like sort of a method for controlling your body and directing your life. It's like all those ancient meditation methods, even Tai Chi. It's a method for utilizing the vehicle of the body. Yeah, that's it. People have spent a long time figuring this shit out. Yoga wasn't just some Indian dude who's like, I'm going to stretch, guys. Yeah, I watched Penn & Teller's Bullshit, and I liked that show. But I thought it was so offensive when they were dismissing yoga as like, oh, look, I'm just stretching.

17:12like he's stretching and I'm like whoa man are you discounting discipline are you discounting the ability to you know to transform you and control your body and to get a hold of your mind and get a hold of your your consciousness because you're no longer negatively influenced by a stressful fucked up body you're discounting that by saying it's stretching like come on man you're a fat fuck you're a fat fuck who's not taking care of your body that's it yeah he's just shoving steaks down his mouth he can barely bend over yeah I'm just like come on man you can't you can't talk to me about what the benefits of yoga are after you stretch for five minutes on a television show that's that's that's disingenuous and that you know I that drives me crazy I know that the whole idea is that everything is bullshit on that show but that guy's too smart for that you know

17:54yeah that yeah they do take some artistic liberties in that show there's something about yoga that is it does something amazing for your mind it calms your mind it centers your mind like they're We're calling it centering. There's a reason why everybody uses that term. It's a balancing issue. I saw a video on the internet of a yogi taking cloth. Have you ever seen this? And swallowing it down. I should say, by the way, that I love Penn and Teller. I love both of those guys. And I feel like a douchebag for just shitting on him. I'm calling him a fat fuck. He's a super cool guy. And he had me on his radio show, and I love the guy. But, you know, it is what it is. Sorry. I love you, buddy. Yeah, me too. Yeah, you're great. Penn Jillette's the coolest. You're just wrong about that. And you're also wrong about martial arts. That was another show they had.

18:42They were saying that you'd be better off taking the money that you would spend on martial arts lessons and giving it to a mugger. Oh, that's stupid. It's ridiculous. And also, if you're telling your fans not to do yoga, you're kind of tricking them into being unhealthy. What's that? That's dumb. Well, Duncan Trussell just got a nice salad. Look, heirloom tomatoes. Look at this. This is no joke here. First class in Air Canada, bitches. Look at that. Fresh lettuce. That's a nice looking salad right there. That's for as far as plain salads go. That's a goddamn nice salad. Yeah, especially because like the last six months I've been traveling. What am I saying? The last six months. The last many years of my life I've been traveling in the back, in the slave quarters. This is insane, man. I feel like fucking little orphan Annie up here.

19:35When you've been flying in the shit section of the plane and suddenly they plop down a healthy salad in front of you, I want to piss myself with joy right now. I wonder how many people get annoyed by this podcast. In the plane. People on the plane. Maybe we should cash it in. Eh, I don't think so. You want to take a break and eat your salad? Yeah. Okay, so this is part one. This is the end of part one. Thank you for tuning in. And as always, we love you bitches. Bye. That's the music for Take 2, Episode 2 of the podcast. The first one was just a nice 20-minute one, and then Duncan had his delicious salad, and then we got online and got very distracted because we were online. So we decided to fire it up again because I listened to the first one for a couple minutes, so the sound is good. I was worried about that, that it would drown it out. but we actually can put this online.

20:37Yeah, it's really awesome, but what's awesome? Is that edible kicked in yet? Oh, yeah. That's an amazing mix. They should give those out to people when they get on the plane. Yeah, it's like drinks. You don't want to drink. This is doing to the plane what ecstasy does for a rave. Like, when you go to a rave, if you're not in ecstasy, it kind of doesn't make sense. Or if you're not tripping out, it kind of doesn't make sense. Planes make sense to me now. Yeah, I made a whole blog entry about how I like to get high and then get on planes. And I'm like, I'm not operating heavy machinery. I'm not hurting anybody. I know I'm going to be in a seat for like four hours. And I know if I take a cookie at the airport and I get on the plane, you know, you've got to time it right. Take it right when you get out of your car. Chomp chomp chomp. Eat it.

21:24Because you don't want to carry anything with you on the plane. And you get on the plane. And an hour and 20 minutes later, you're in the air and you're gone. Yeah, you're just rocketing through space. And when you listen to an iPod, that's like, when you have good music, like synced up on your iPod, and, you know, you have like a surround sound, headphones, like a strong headphones, like I got these beats, Dr. Dre beats, they sound so good, man. And they're noise canceling, so they cancel all the outside bullshit out, and you just hear crisp, clean sound, and your barbecue. I wrote this whole blog about it. It makes it a mundane, boring, tiresome sort of a chore. it turns into like a really fun time. The only thing about it that sucks is they don't supply in first class a whip that you can run through the business class whipping people with. You've become like very quickly a snob.

22:20Snob? I feel like a Roman emperor. You're an elitist. I know, I feel like crucifying one of the... I feel like a Roman emperor. This is incredible. Guys, if you don't... For me, this is like, I don't do this, but I've got my computer plugged in to my spacious console at the front. I just had a delicious salad. I've got my iPod charging. I'm on wireless. This is incredible. It's pretty intense. Because, you know, one thing that is helping the strips is the fact that we're in, like, we're up front. Yeah. I don't know if these strips would be so useful if you're back in the business class inhaling the farts of the poor. I think George Carlin said something like that in the joke So if that's an inadvertent Theft It's not theft, I remember But yeah, now I know what he meant So a bunch of people are tweeting us Because we're on Wi-Fi So I said, hey, you guys got any questions?

23:15And we got like 50 right away But a lot of them are about WikiLeaks, man A lot of people have questions about that And I know you and I were talking about this yesterday We had a go we had a real quick conversation on the phone, but the whole case is very fascinating. First of all, the fact that there was this Interpol warning to go get this guy, or notice to get this guy, and he was just charged with having sex. That's all he did. It wasn't even rape. It was sex without a condom, which is just incredible. I mean, how can you drag someone into jail for another country for that? I mean, that is so transparent, so strange. How many countries would you be wanted in, Joe? Just one Really I've never had Condomless sex Anywhere else Oh really I try not to Actually yeah That's probably right You don't want to be Bringing some First of all African funk Back on you That's a good point

24:10Julian Assange He's probably I think he's an amazing guy And I think He's like Do you I am torn Somebody farted Somebody farted And it's playing In a stop in Maine It didn't come from the front It's motherfuckers Came from the back She's like, nasty-ass bitches. That's why you need to run back and lash them. Anytime a fart wafts up, you should have a strop you can grab and go lashing to the back. Anyway, this WikiLeaks guy, I think the whole thing is, you know, it's obviously, they're arresting him for releasing those documents. What they're doing is they're sending a message that we can get you with anything. The woman has been linked to the CIA, and there's a bunch of stories about that, She's a crazy feminist who actually has a website that's dedicated to showing people how to get back at men. You know, showing people how to get revenge. I mean, who's buying this shit, though?

25:03Is there, like, what? Is there, like, four geriatrics in New Jersey who are like, he's a rapist. Like, everyone is like that. A lot of people, there's people on my message board that were saying that this one guy had, I believe it was a history teacher, was telling him that this guy was a rapist. She was saying this. Those are the words she was using. and the guy on the message board was like well that's not what they said, they said he had sex without a condom and she was just like completely resolved to this conclusion and this guy is a rapist and that's it and there's the end of story and he's a bad person. I guess the best time to commit rape is right before you leak shit loads of information because then you can be like yeah like I raped it's obviously a set up or they would paint you what they're dealing with this guy to say that he's a liar. Well, yeah, and that's the truth.

25:54It's clearly, the whole thing's fixed. I don't have any question about that to me. It's amazing. It's like, okay, he's a rapist. And if you call someone a rapist, immediately that person gets locked in this subhuman, shitty category of people who don't give a fuck about other people and are 100% out for themselves to the detriment of all others. But the problem is, you can't use the word rapist for shit that's not rape. Like having sex, consensual sex without a condom. Oh, yeah. Or consensual sex when a condom broke. I was talking to a friend of mine who went to law school, and he was telling me when you can't use the word rape. You can only use the word... In court. In a legal way. In court. Yeah, but so they're not using it in an acceptable way in court, but yet they have said rape. There's a bunch of different versions of the stories that it's gotten out, but I have read rape.

26:42Well, one thing he said is, for example, having sex with a prostitute and then not paying her that is not rape that is consensual sex but a lot of times a prostitute will get ripped off and claim that she was raped so rape is non-consensual sex so when it's consensual but then you don't pay what is that, is that fraud or it's not it's just shoplifting it's just jacking that pussy jacked it son No, I mean, what do you call that? Because it's a crime, and you're admitting that you committed a crime in selling your body for sex, but this guy didn't pay you for your criminal deed. Like, you don't really have a stake. That's the problem with doing things illegal. You can't report somebody. Like, you have to take matters into your own hands. Yeah, how annoying is that, man? You have to become, remember that HBO show a long time ago, Avenging Angel, about the prostitute that killed people? No.

27:41It was a whole terrible series about a prostitute who went crazy with shotguns. Don't watch it. I can't believe I just remembered that. Horrible show. Horrible enough to watch? Like Showgirls? No, I only watched it when I was a kid because the commercials were really racy and it seemed like something you could masturbate to when you were in teens. Totally disappointing. How old were you? How long ago was this? I don't remember the exact age. Maybe, I don't know, 14, 13, I don't know. So the 80s was lame? How old are you when you start masturbating? Me, it was definitely high school. I had actually had sex before I'd ever masturbated. Shut up. Yeah, I did. Crazily. Just by some... I just met a slut real early. I took acid before I drank alcohol. Really? Yeah. Wow. I just said the word slut and the lady behind me flinched. You gotta be careful. We've got some sensitivity.

28:36That word's a tricky word, man. Well, the lady behind us is not in executive class. Where's the straw? Oh, no. She heard that, too, by the way. I know. How dare you? Can I just say, I'm totally kidding. I'm not an elitist. This is just exciting for me. I'll be in business class for the next decade. You mean coach. This business class is actually pretty good. Yeah, I'll be in coach for this. This is bad karma. I've got coach karma coming my way. Yeah. It is kind of weird that they're allowed to do that, have good seats and then seats that suck. Well, yeah, an airplane, doesn't an airplane just kind of embody society? You've got, like, the front of the airplane where everyone's, like, eating organic salads and plugged in and happy and everything's spacious. My God, our stewardess, I've never experienced a woman like this. Like, she's, like, two steps away from being in a harem.

29:29It's incredible. That's what society's like. There's, like, a small group of people up front who are, like, I don't know. It's so much nicer to you up here. It's, like, this is the nicest anyone's been to me in my life. Yeah, when you're in the back, a lot of times the stewardesses are kind of shitty with you. They get a little douchey with you. Yeah, oh, they're just pissed, man. I mean, you're lucky if you can get a napkin the whole flight. They're pissed. Now, back to this WikiLeaks guy. He supposedly has some incredible payload that he's going to release if anything happens to him, right? Isn't that the word? Oh yeah, he's got an insurance policy that's a super encrypted PDF file that has within it what his attorney described as a thermonuclear bomb. Which, you know, who knows what that could be, but it's got to be something about September 11th. Something like that.

30:23It's got to be something or nothing. You could be bluffing. Something like we didn't land on the moon. Yeah. Something like all the secrets of why we actually really got into Afghanistan and how much they're making and selling heroin. The thing that I think that I'm afraid of is that they could just release it. He's going to give the code. By the way, how much poison, how much poison is Julian Assange slurping back in that prison right now? Like, that guy, he turned himself in and it's like, are you kidding? Look at what happened to Lee Harvey Oswald when you get in their custody. Why would you do that? Well, I think he had to, and I think the pressure of being on the run was probably unbearable. You know, everybody knows what he looks like. He's all over the world, all over magazines, all over newspapers. He's on the cover of Time magazine right now.

31:13Who was this guy before he was this WikiLeaks guy, do you know? He was, well, he's Australian, and he was into political activism. I saw there's a really good interview with him on TED that you could look up where he talks about his past, but he's had a very interesting life. He's really into activist journalism. He's just doing real journalism. He's a real journalist. That's what real journalists used to do. That's the power of a real journalist. They create giant waves through society. The journalists we have now are just... I don't know what they are. When the WikiLeak came out, Hillary Clinton had ordered us to spy on members of the UN on the front page of CNN, I remember it. It was, it's Rosa Parks' birthday. And then next to that was something about Lindsay Lohan. Meanwhile, a cable had come out from Hillary Clinton saying,

32:10gather biometric information on the members of the United Nations. And this is directly against international law. You can't spy on members of the UN. You're not supposed to do that. That's what Julian Assange said. He said, well, if she's in violation of this, she should resign. And the people in the United States should be saying, why isn't Hillary Clinton resigning if she's breaking international law? Why isn't George Bush being held accountable when in his book he says he authorized actions that go against the Geneva Conventions? Why aren't we holding our leaders to the law? and the very fact that we're not is why we have to go through seven you know, seven different security systems at the airport and get our balls squeezed. People want to blow us the fuck up because our leaders aren't sticking to the law you've got to stick to the law if you're at the front and you don't stick

33:10to the law, god I'm sorry I keep quoting the Bhagavad Gita because I'm going to sound like a dick but, no it's true it says in the Bhagavad Gita what a great man does, others will follow. And if you're at the front of the fucking ant parade and you're not going in the right way, but you're telling all the other ants to go in the right way, it doesn't work. And then we have chaos and the degradation of society, and then the next thing you know, Julian Assange is being arrested for nothing and everyone knows it, but no one's doing anything. That's why one of the more popular conspiracy theories theories have always been that the government creates drama so that we have to take away your rights to protect you from this drama you know whether especially things like faceless things like terrorism you know there's been so many claims by all these different groups I don't know

34:01if there's any validity to it but there's so many people talking about it you got to wonder if this has ever been a real strategy and that strategy is to attack people and blame it on terrorists so that you can change laws so that you can move around easier. And it sounds like something there's no way that we would ever do. It sounds like some horrific, terrible thing until you go back and you just review American history. You review why we really got into a bunch of different wars. And it had nothing to do with protecting people and everything to do with economics. So if there's a way to make more money and there's a way to move around easier and all that way requires is you have to create some drama and in that drama you're going to be able to change the law and that's going to help but you can justify that even if you're really not that terrible

34:47you could say we need this to protect people it's the reality of the business didn't Orwell say something like that about some quote about people sleep in their bed safe at night because hard men are out there doing terrible things Something along those lines. Terrible paraphrase. But that was his thing. It's like the only way to be safe is if you let us take care of it all. And we promise you we're going to protect you from all this other stuff. There's a lot of other stuff and you can't know about it. Yeah, it's like the government taking on the figure of your parents. And then you've got the Constitution. This will probably piss people off, but it's like the constant, basically like everyone goes back to the great founding here with those things on. No, everything, I have headphones on and I was like, God, everything seems muffled. I forgot I had headphones.

35:46I had earplugs and if you like, you know, like everyone goes back to like, what would the founding fathers do? And we must never change anything in the constitution or our government is clearly the constitution is not functioning in the way that it was intended. to function anymore. The Founding Fathers intended, I imagine, democracy to work in a way where votes meant something and leaders weren't being manipulated and controlled by massive corporations. But people get hooked on the past and they don't want to take matters into their own hand. So what you have happening right now is something that's a pale reflection of what may have been intended when, you know, in the idea being that each human being in America, they're supposed to be seeking out their greatest happiness, which is an incredible idea. That is not what's happening anymore.

36:43And so what you have is this anaconda effect happening. You know how an anaconda kills people? Constriction. Yeah, so it's constriction. The way an anaconda kills people is awful. you breathe out the anaconda squeezes in you know what I mean you you let air out the anaconda squeezes in so you can't take as much air in the next time and every time you breathe out the anaconda squeezes in and in and in so what you have happening now is these awful attacks happened or whatever they were who the fuck knows very suspicious events happen and all of a sudden now we go to the airport and we just have to take it for granted that we're going to are you know get Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to be closing up the duty-free within the next 15 minutes. Nobody wants your duty-free. Selling your bullshit. Duty-free. It's booze. It's for alcoholics who want to not pay taxes on their booze.

37:37How much taxes is it? I don't know. I've never understood it. It's weird. I listen to that French. What a great language, man. It's a good one. So, what were we saying? My point is, it seems like what's happening and what's really disturbing is it's like everything that's done in fascism or any time anything's done that's bad, it's never done on the surface. It's like, this is a bad thing. It's always done for a really reasonable, justifiable cause. And in that same way, it's like what's happening at the airport security, it's very dangerous because soon that's going to spread to the subways. And then that's going to spread to the Greyhound stations and pretty much anywhere you want to. Do you think it'll ever get to a point where it's in cars, where people will be able to stop you, get out of your car, and then just search your car? Well, I mean, I think that's cops.

38:33Yeah, but I mean like a line. Like you just drive somewhere and you have to stop, get out of your car, they have to go look around it, and then you drive on. Well, yeah. Like what happens when you drive into the airport, they stop you, give you a quick look over, and let you go through. Didn't you say that about Israel? It's like that in Israel? Yeah, it's like that in Israel. And, you know, in Israel, it's like there you kind of understand it because they went through that period where cafes were just getting blown up and every day, like, suicide bombs were going off. In the United States, these events, they're not happening. And I know people are like, they're not happening because of those security measures. But really, no, those security measures are only at the airports. they're not at the hardware stores where anybody who's got a minor understanding of chemistry

39:19could probably whip together a bomb and stick it somewhere and kill people. I heard that more people's lives would be saved if they were measuring people's hearts for irregular heartbeats when they were going through airport security and telling them they might have a problem with their heart than scanning people. That's true, but if there was no scanning in this climate, I truly believe that someone would try to do something stupid again. I don't have a problem with scanning. I don't have a problem with scanning because I don't have a bomb on me. And I don't want anybody else to have a bomb on them. I don't see it as a problem because there's a meme out there. And that meme is blowing up airplanes. And people have been doing it already. And it's become a part of that, you know, the terrorist culture.

40:02I mean, whenever they want to get a lot of attention, they know everyone's terrified of flying. So it's like a bonus. It's like terror times ten. You know, because terror on a bus is like, well, I'm not scared of being in a bus. But when I'm on a plane, I'm 30,000 feet in the air. Everyone's afraid that plane's going to go down and that's how they're going to die. That's a big, giant, fucking visceral fear that people have. Because they know we're not really supposed to be up here. Where you and I are right now, we're 30,000 goddamn feet in the air going 500 miles an hour. And that's scary. And if you add someone blowing that up, it's like a double blow up. It's more scary. So because of that, I like scanning. I don't have a problem with it. I think everybody's freaking out about everybody grabbing their balls and everything. But look, look, just go through. It's not that hard.

40:44Why are they freaking out? Why are they a pain in the ass? Why are they aggressive? I'll tell you why. Because their job sucks and because nobody wants to go through this bullshit. So people are complaining all day. So they're in a negative mood and their job sucks. But really, in this climate, in this day and age of underwear bombs and shoe bombs and fucking what else bombs is going to be next? What's next, you know? Fucking breath machine bombs and, you know, Bose earphone bombs. I mean, come on, man. It's like they can keep going on and on. You gotta check shit out. You gotta, I mean, there's just too many nutty people. And it's not our fault that our government is doing all this crazy shit all over the world. Because it's pretty obvious no matter who you vote in. You know, Obama promised that he was gonna get out. We voted him in.

41:24Look what happened. Nothing. Nothing's changed. Nothing's changed. In fact, more people are in Afghanistan. More people than ever. So it's not, that's not gonna fix shit. It's not our fault. We don't know what to do. Okay? Don't blow us up because we don't know what to do. because we're just as much of a victim of this crazy fucking machine as everybody else. Who is the United States? We, human beings, you and I. Look, we are the people that they would be attacking. We're us. We're a part of this whole crazy group. And that's where it gets ridiculous. Because whatever you say about the United States doing fucked up things all over the world, it's not us. It's not us. Like you and me. Yeah. We're not with this group. We're just born here, okay? Well, see, that's the problem, though, is like, that, yeah, I agree.

42:02What I'm saying is, like, the average person is not really going to be able to fix this by voting. It's obvious. Well, no, it's not by voting. I mean, it requires, like, hardcore activism like what Assange is doing. Like, that's the only way to fix it. People aren't going to fix this by, I mean, right before we rushed into Iraq and started attacking them and the illegal war that happened, remember the hundreds, thousands of people that were protesting? I went to one of the protests, man. People swarming through the streets. Nobody wanted that to happen, and it happened. So what that says is, okay, well, that style of protest doesn't work. The voting style of protest doesn't work. Obama just voted to extend the Republican, the Bush-era tax cuts that he was railing against. So it didn't matter that he said he was going to stop those because he just kept them going. So voting doesn't work.

42:58Protesting doesn't work. What does seem to work is one pale little albino who doesn't like wearing condoms and is pouring the truth about the way our government actually works out into the world. That worked. And look what happens. The way you know what you're doing is working is because you're either A, in jail and you're not getting out, or B, you're clutching your chest realizing you just got assassinated. that's how you knew you were on the right track that's it any other stuff as they call it slacktivism which I'm quite guilty of you're not doing the right thing until you're getting waterboarded when you're getting waterboarded you probably stumbled onto something until then forget it dude that was brilliant if you're getting waterboarded you probably stumbled onto something yeah but meanwhile I've got to tell you, sitting up in first class ain't so bad.

44:02I would like to get a cup of coffee and watch me press this button. Even the chime up here sounds better. Even the chime is angelic. How about that, dog? You can request. I have a request for a cup of coffee to try to stimulate my mind. I've got a little bit too much 11-hydroxy metabolite flowing through the dome. Could I have a cup of coffee with cream, please? Would you say hi to everybody on our podcast? Hi, how are you? She's very nice. What is your name? Marcela. She's a very nice lady. Thank you. Would you like anything? A coffee, please. We really are on a plane. It would be an elaborate hoax if we tried to pretend that we weren't on a plane. She's the best. Marcela is the best. She's got a beautiful accent. She's so sweet. She's wonderful. She's got a motherly quality to her. Yeah, and she's very attentive. She has a nice scarf tied around her neck.

44:59This WikiLeaks thing, I'm very guilty of being a spectator in a lot of world events. It takes a lot to charge me to the point of even talking about this. But when I saw yesterday that the whole condom thing, that's when I really started getting into it. It was yesterday or the day before. And that's when I really just went, okay, I can't leave this alone. I have to look at this because this is insane. I've never seen a case more transparent Where they're bringing someone to justice Quote unquote For like a more ridiculous charge Consensual sex Where the condom broke and you didn't say anything And how does he Who's going to prove that The judge should toss that out of god damn court They should be like hey honey Shit happens, don't buy cheap rubbers Get the fuck out of my courtroom It shouldn't be let's get an Interpol thing out there And drag this dude in from another nation P.S.

45:51what happened to that bin laden guy yeah the most evil guy in the world is the one that's exposing murder that's the most evil guy in the world meanwhile bin laden's in some sweet in saudi arabia laughing his fucking ass off or in like there's like a hole in a mountain like area 51 style and you go in there and there's a fucking palace they built him deep into the mountain. Yeah, that's it. That's it. Yeah. He's, yeah, he's like getting personal performances from Stevie Wonder. Yeah, and he's got a lake above his house with a glass bottom, and that's where he gets his light from. He comes through the water, and that's what lights up the way. It's a fucking palace, and they're just shipping in Afghani chicks, just left and right and left and right, and it's probably, no, Afghani boys, and it's just a crazy orgy. It's just littered with like the dead bodies. Oh, you got ice cream?

46:48Thank you very much. Thank you. What did she say? She whispered that the coffee's being brewed. She just brought some ice cream by as well. Ooh, Haagen-Dazs. Little small Haagen-Dazs. I'm on that shit, son. That does sound really good. What flavor would you go for? Because I think I'm going to go for whatever they give me. I think that's what I'll take. It's hard to not cry every time she asks for something. I feel like a kid who's been molested his whole life. Rescued by a foster parent that loves you. business class, I mean, coach, you're getting molested back there. You've got, like, your legs are getting crushed into your body, and if, God forbid, you have a middle seat, you walk out with scoliosis for the rest of your life, you're trying to, it's horrible back there. I'm gonna, we should, I don't know. This is great, though. Anyway, back to this WikiLeaks, dude.

47:41I think it takes a certain type of hubris, you know it's not an average person is not going to do this they probably never thought someone would be so bold as to do something that would most surely get him arrested and there's going to be very little public outcry this guy's going to get locked up for a long ass time and there's going to be a bunch of reasons why they're locking him up and they're going to rot him out they're going to rot him out in a cell somewhere illegal access to sensitive data top secret information they're going to it's going to be yeah espionage espionage well is it espionage when you're not a U.S. citizen? What is it? Well, no, he's apparently it isn't like there's all these basic laws that govern these things. And if it was espionage and if it truly was espionage, you for certain the

48:23United States the next day it came out would be like, we're arresting him. Right. But the United States now has like probably an entire warehouse full of lawyers looking through every line of law, desperately trying to cobble together a reason that they can legally bring him back into the empire. But it's so dangerous because all the information is out now and so much has been learned about the way the government interacts with other governments about how they feel about other countries, about all this secret information that they have access to. There's a lot of shit that got out, man. You can't close that up. And also that little thorn in the lion's paw is that insurance policy. You know, that is drawing some beads of sweat from the heads of many reptilians right now. We're like, what could it be? What is it decrypted? Do you think he's telling them?

49:14Do you think he's told them yet what it is? I think he's probably giving them a hint or two. Weird code words. Green dragon. Can they kill him at this point? After all this? Can they kill him? Well, I think that's to me the thing about if he did turn himself into me, it's like, man, well, you better not be drinking the water. because it's like if you really trust that they're just giving you like whatever the normal salami sandwiches they're giving prisoners and they're not giving you a patty of spam that's composed of nanobots designed to swim into the core of your brain and explode in five years that's what you think and the guy's got a like a little a little like widget on his computer clock till Assange's head explodes. In the CIA there's like countdown clocks on everyone's computer. And they're all going to be there when it happens. They're all going to invite him somewhere.

50:14It's going to be like he won the lottery or something. He'll be standing there trying to collect. Big fucking stupid smile on his face. His head will explode. It'll be when he wins the Nobel Prize and it'll happen on the 4th of July. It'll happen. Oh, look at this. She's coming by with this. Oh, my goodness. You guys, I wish you could see this. I wish we could keep this podcast going, but she's coming by with ice cream and cookies. Yeah. Thank you so much. Yeah. Ice cream and cookies. Yeah. Whoops. Thank you. Oh, my goodness. And with that, ladies and gentlemen, that's going to be the end of part two. These are short podcasts. If you only commute to work and it's like 20 minutes, this is a perfect podcast for you. We did this just for you. We'll be back. We're just going to eat our ice cream and shit. All right. That was a half hour. That was actually longer.