Hannibal Buress

00:02Hannibal Montana is that it Hannibal montal experience the Hannibal montal experience can you get sued for that is that to or it's parody right uh it's Hannibal Montana Bow it's bows at the end of it what is a montable montable rhes is rhes or Hannibal what is Hannah Montana it's that's the show with that uh cute girl on Disney Cyrus girl right I hope they sue me the tour could use the bump yeah they can't win they can't win right it's parody can you it's not it's yeah and it's not a mock it's just cuz I think it's just a goofy thing it's not mocking anything it's not I'm not using any imagery I just think those is just funny words to me even if you were you know I think you're okay whatever happened to that chick she was going crazy for a while she uh remember she was grinding on people on TV new season of The Voice right now that just started last night yeah is she one of the judges

01:01or something hm she's a talented girl you ever heard her sing super talented she sang that song Jolene like that Dolly Parton song yeah I was like wow like if she just sang like this she'd be goddamn gigantic if she just good actress too what are you trying to say h really yeah I think she's a solid actress what have you seen her in I her stuff on when she's been on Saturday Night Live oh okay I thought you actually watched Hannah Montana actually did watch a little Hannah Montana back in 08 when I was I remember watching a couple episodes like this is all right also my uh I used to be a that fan fan too so oh that's hilarious you used to be a that fan fan that fan took too much heat man he did God man I I remember when Dad fan was on Last Comic Standing cuz it was season one and I was one of the judges yeah and he killed right and it didn't seem like there was anything wrong what he was

01:56doing to me but uh a lot of people got mad at him just for being I don't know it was H like they just thought he was too uh too too much of a big show you know he's too loud and I don't know what it was that they got upset with him I people like what they like people get angry people get angry at weird stuff I know people just get specifically angry myself included but I don't share that for the internet just angry amongst my friends and we we talk but I don't I don't like the show that right like you get mad if your friend likes a movie that sucked yeah we'll just yeah sometime my friend one my friend um didn't what was the movie with the uh with the moving shots uh it was the Zack ganakas is in it uh the play Birdman birtman oh Z Zack Gan AIS was in bman the stage director oh that's right of course uh man my friend Tony we were in Denver uh Tony TR

02:55my DJ he uh had one of them weed patches we were in Denver for like for day he had a a weed patch that you could put on he got it from dispensary uh and then he got high and then we started talk about Birdman and I like yeah I kind of like Birdman and he went on a 10minute rant like Birdman movie's pretentious and he just like man he was like I like Birdman but I don't know if I like it as much as you hate it he went on forever I could believe it he's kind of got a point a it's kind of pretentious but I mean don't you want that sometimes like someone to take a chance to make something that's just bizarre there was a bizarre ass movie like that was a chanceen movie right yeah they was I enjoyed it I never seen somebody be so passionate about that you ever be around your friend I didn't know you were capable of such hate people get like that man they get like that with music

03:45yeah you know you could talk to some people about C certain bands you're just not supposed to like like when I was a kid I used to have to hide the fact that I loved Kiss yeah because like when I was in like seventh grade kiss was not cool like it was not cool thing like the young kids they all they all wanted to know about like ACDC and Lead Zeppelin so where uh when you in seventh grade yeah where was kiss in their trajectory here's what happened with kiss kiss had this gigantic loyal following they came to all their concerts they sold out gigantic Arenas all over the world but they couldn't get any radio play it was real weird they only had like a couple of big hits they had like Beth Beth was a big hit Detroit Rock City Rock and Roll All Night those were big and party every day that's still a big one but there wasn't a lot of radio play it was hard like there was a lot of bands that

04:39had way more radio play but for whatever reason they never lost their popularity amongst their hardcore fans because they put on a great show I went to see them twice when they made their comeback to it with Kevin James Kevin James was opening for kiss no no no no we were friends we went to watch it oh wh what a combination that would be doing some stand up in front of Kiss have you ever done stand up in front of a band lots of times yeah do you really yeah do you like it sometimes sometimes it can go well you have to be set up correctly though and I've learned how to what to ask for to make the show go right what's what do you ask for you just ask for somebody from the band to introduce you either on stage or off mic and and so you establish in front of the crowd as a friend of theirs and not just some that the says we book this guy this is our guy please welcome Hannibal I learned

05:36that when I open for this band it's cool super nice guys they saw me at zany in Chicago Chicago band uh jam band hrey McGee huge fan base they Tour all the time and they asked me to do this gig at the Cal outside of Chicago was excited to do it it's a couple hundred bucks or something different gig opening for a band it's cool and uh it's packed it's theater it's packed in and then uh they telling me that you know it's getting ready to go on and uh the lights drop and the crowd goes crazy and I'm about to go I'm like that is not for me at all and so then I just walk out cold and like hello I'm hand and start trying to do comedy and people just like where's Umphrey mcge where's umre and they just didn't know we didn't know to just you know every crowd isn't ready for comedy and you have to settle people have to be expecting it or be settled yeah or or it's a fight and I wasn't prepped to

06:35fight at that uh moment just to fight him now I did all right but that's it some I mean I do shows where I have uh rappers or bands open for me also and sometimes the crowd some people in the crowd are into it some people aren't but it's music that I enjoy so I I try to just mix it up sometimes and have a bit of a variety show versus just straight stand up why not if that's what you want to do definitely you should do it I've I've opened for few bands back in the day but I would never do it again some of the experiences were just horrific yeah I opened for Bon Joy once in a theater in the round it was this thing for VH1 it was in the round and I was on stage with like a bunch of like musical instruments like L like it's like there's a drum kit there I had to move around I couldn't like do anything physical there was like a uh you know microphone setup and then uh after I did

07:22my set I was supposed to bring girls towards the front of the stage they wanted to pick out attractive girls in the audience them no no no around the stage so when they're filming it the the ones who are really close to the camera screaming Bon joy and then go I'm dirt bag I'm like for backstage right they turned you into the Wrangler they turned me into the Wrangler you open but you got to also grab some girls first here's a deal bro we're Road dogs no they uh they wanted a bunch of cuz they were filming it for like VH1 I think it was at the time but I was like I can't keep doing these they just don't go well 50% of the time yeah it's I mean I've done some you know Chance the Rapper is uhhuh rapper out of Chicago uh I've done some stuff with him and sometimes it'll go well and then it was one in Chicago and I'm from Chicago so I'm thinking this is going to be great this is my city too

08:12dude it was just it was cuz I made fun of uh you know Chicagoans that live in the city will uh sometimes you you'll meet somebody and you where you from and they say Chicago what part of Chicago they be like shamberg like that's not Chicago right like this is Suburban that's what that improv is yeah 40 minutes outside of Chicago it's a Suburban kind of City sort of uh it's like Thousand Oaks yeah that type of thing and so I talked about that I did that on stage it was the it was the the venue was in the city and then I talked about that on stage but most of that crowd was like white kids from the suburbs and then it just turned from there and they was just started it just got got restless and then some dude just yelled out for no re he was like Kevin Hart like what does that mean oh wow that's that's hilarious but that's some psychology right he's going to

09:02point to the most successful comic ever and compare you I mean Kevin Hart is if he's not the most successful he's like top two right I mean who who are the arguments there's three arguments right it's like Dice Clay Dane Cook and Kevin Hart and as far as sustaining it yeah he's his run has been pretty crazy insane he has his own shoe so I think it's him he's got a motivational shoe Sho motivational quotes all over it and his shoe actually Kevin Hart's shoe looks better than a lot of athlete shoes definitely he's a smart dude he's a smart dude smart dude worked hard you can't but that's funny that he thinks that like yelling that out is going to hurt your feelings it was just more weird it is weird it is weird but that's a that's a that's a a jab you know it's interesting that people do that like you point to like as if almost as if someone's success even though it's like

09:57astronomical like crazy even to a successful guy like you it'll with you you know what I mean yeah I mean you do really well I know you're not walking around going man I wish my life was better right now no you're great everything's awesome in your world everything's smooth as but someone can yell out Kevin Hart like yeah no people it's a it's a weird space to be in cuz some like now like you have that well two that it's a different way you you got your fans and then you also have people that just know who you are and might not with you at all they just know like and so I I went into this Mexican restaurant in Chicago last week and uh I uh I go straight to the bathroom in the back there a spot it's a great spot in Chicago by the way check it out iend Lincoln and F and uh go to the back and I come back out it's these tall Too Tall Black women and uh one of them like I'm

11:01right next to her she gestures towards me like yeah he's famous or something like real dismissive I had say anything to her I was just being it yeah he's famous or something then she says to me yeah my friends tried to get me to come hang out with you at Mad River it's a bar in Chicago had tried to get you to come and hang out but we didn't want to like all right why are you but we didn't want to yeah some like they like what are you what is happening right now like what are you and so I look at her body and she's like in great shape like 6'2 short short song she got a volleyball B so I say uh you play volleyball she said yeah we play uh at the par so uh they order their food sit down and order my food sit down and then I uh go on my phone and I Google uh depal women's volleyball and look at uh last uh year and look at the roster and and I and I look over to her I say uh hey

11:55Ashley what the happened last season cuz they had a bad season last year oh that's hilarious and then her friend pipes up hey we had a lot of good individual accomplish we said some individual records last year and I said so you guys had bad team chemistry but yeah it was just I felt I need to dig back cuz I was just grabbing some tacos and she just made me feel weird just by being there well she felt like she could get a free shot at you cuz you're famous yeah or or she just does that to people all the time maybe she does and maybe she just had a I know maybe I was intimidated she was tall beauti as big beautiful girl big Beau girl with like a voice big maybe a tone like mine maybe I couldn't handle my own tone is that she sounds like you not like me but she had kind of not depth but just sarc yeah yeah oh tone that way yeah yeah maybe or no no she was being rude she may been just a big

12:57rude giant at wants a dude to like take that challenge you know what I mean like if you're a girl that's that big and athletic you could probably up a lot of dudes yeah you know that's a big girl like she probably has to like she probably has to test dudes all the time maybe maybe that was her way of hitting on me maybe she was neam me and I took it the wrong way yeah maybe if you just took it like an ace you just rolled with it like a sholin monk yeah maybe you well I did Ne back but then you did but that that's actually pretty funny to way he did that's pretty funny I think everything worked out grade I mean I know I know where to find it if I want to find her I don't know why I always want to wonder what someone's motivation is but I always do I do too I don't know you never know it's almost like why am I bother why can't I just get the away from this

13:43why do I have to find out what someone's motivation is yeah people yeah I end up in in conversations where I should just probably leave but I'm just that curious about what's going on who the are you why what is your what is what's up with you do that yeah and also I have to win I have to win well it's a game that you're really good at it's a talking game do you get upset when someone starts talking with you like wait a minute you're you're a goddamn amateur here yeah you're talking with a professional comedian how how often have you done this you know yeah how good are you at this for real it's fun though it is fun it's all fun in game so someone's Soul gets crushed you know what happened in Vegas this uh it was this girl that I known not really known that well but she's beautiful and she hit me up out of nowhere hey I miss you we never messed around anything you know and I was she

14:40misses you she missed you and so um I uh I I was in Boston at the moment I think I don't know I was just in a sort of a not a bad mood but a weird mood impulsive and she just hit me up out of nowhere I was like let's go to Vegas for the UFC fights oh fly out we get to the airport around the same time go out go to uh Calvin Harris's plan go there and uh we get back to the room and she's kind of like cold towards me like almost buddy I'm like I mean we never really hung out but it's still like flowing to Vegas it's a it's a Vibe and it's a little bit of a subtext to that it's Vegas also this say and so she's she kind of just go to sleep on me like where am I Vegas we just what the is going on what's Happening you thought you miss and so uh end up uh in the morning go for it again like but she's kind of bro it's like I'm like does this chick even like me at all it's like I go

15:47down on her she's completely quiet but like moving her body positively but but not saying a word but not saying a word to the point where I got to check and see if this is okay I popped my head up I'm like hey we good just cuz I had to do a I had to do a consent check that's hilarious m that's a good move though yeah dude I can't man I had to check man I I was like hey are we good you good she was like we good I was like back at it but she didn't make a noise you know how weird eating sounds with no moaning or yeps or yes yeah with nothing though no it was just it was weird but I could tell she I've been thinking about nothing else for for days just moaning just no moaning just Acappella but I can feel her body like she's moving her body around POS I I could tell she came a couple times cuz like air came out I don't think that's how it works I think it is how like she cuz at

16:52one point yeah like some I felt some air come out it wasn't but it didn't make a noise um I don't think we're ever going to really know if they're coming or not I think it could be a lot of going on a lot of fake orgasms we don't know a lot of times girls just fake come so that you could stop really I don't know I'm guessing must must have happened but I'm just saying I don't think air coming out constitutes orgasm seems like it should oh well there should be like a little turkey tester maybe she Li to me whatever we end up hooking up and go out to lunch and then I realize we is no comp all no compatibility at all this chick doesn't even moan when you eat her that's all you need to know all you need to know it's just lays there like doesn't like me at all or is just bad at showing it doesn't can't even fake just wants to be at the fights and so okay we get back to the room um

17:53getting ready it's like three is so getting ready I'm like I'm going to see the whole thing go see the prelims and uh uh so but I'm trying to get it in again let's hook up again understand you have to tell me and then she says I don't hook up on the first night like we already did it already what are you talking about she's like yeah that's my rule I don't do it on like what are you talking about she's like that's my me and my roommates that's our house rule like our house house bunch of blocking fly out fly out on the first what are you talking about you already we already did it and it's not your house is a and so I'm like what is I don't want to who does that that's weird and so I kind of I step out of room make a phone call like talk to my friends to consult me what the do I do with this just leave all your in the room and buy new that's what you do you just

18:45go you just you have your phone in your hand do you have a computer back in the room I do okay so you go back in you don't want to leave the computer you go grab your computer you go I'll be right back and then you never come back no that's what I came back in I came back in the room I came back in the room I said I'm going um buy new clothes no I'mma take somebody no close walk in the fight with a computer that have been great I I would do it I say I'm going to take somebody else to the fight oh uh U I have my assistant get you a separate hotel room and I'll buy you a single ticket to the fight if you want but you know cuz I was like I I don't feel like you feeling me and it'll be a disservice to both of us and wasting each other's time but you have another hotel room I'll get you a ticket to the fight if you that's a gentleman's move I like that that's

19:35better than what I was going to do I was going to run out the door with a computer but it felt it felt weird to do it and it felt weird to build up to doing it but I had a great night man I me I went with hung out with another friend in Vegas and she's a much better person beautiful yeah it's weird though W that's that's my fault for that you I never even had a real conversation with her and I flew this woman out that's how beautiful she was so what you took a chance this what life all about yeah you could meet someone like that on the first night they could be the best person you ever met in your life you fall in love forever right Jamie it's true I mean you definitely can I I I support you on both decisions yeah I support you on your impulsiveness and just flying out a beautiful woman I support you on continuing to eat her and asking for consent in the

20:21middle of it I support you on that and I definitely support you getting her another room and doing it classy getting her a a ticket to the take it but that's fine good even better I support you 100% that's a you got an A+ sir if I was your your teacher if I was your professor and uh how to be a man I give you a A+ thank you I'm getting better I'm growing up successful comedian with resources fly that young lady out let's she might be the girl of your dreams might be able to settle down burst settle down relax trying to man it's hard trying to growing up it's hard I bought a building I bought some real estate you bought some real St bought an apartment building in Chicago oh a whole building a whole building three apartment building do you live in it or just bought it don't live don't live in it it's tenant now but I want an Airbnb it wow that's interesting man what if

21:11you start a Hannibal burus Hotel I was thinking that's what that's like a like a five 10 year not five maybe 10 years down I would have to either get other people in in with funding and stuff but I I looked at this one place it's this one building in Chicago but it's a it's a lot of money and it would have to be all cash buy and I can't do it so I'm trying to get other people to partner up man the hotel business sounds interesting like if you like you developed a cool cuz it's kind of entertaining in a way like you're entertaining those people is that off I mean I'm traveling all the time I'm in hotels so I kind of know what I like in a in a hotel but you know what I mean like the experience of going to a hotel is in a lot of ways like an entertainment experiment definitely the lounge the colors what you have in the life yeah the stuff in the rooms you know in a lot of ways like even the

22:02other way like there's a Motel 6 in Ketch can Alaska that I stayed at and uh it's great or Hotel 6 I guess it's a Hotel 6 yeah but uh because it's so ridiculous cuz it's in this like really remote place yeah it's there's something cool about that you know there's something cool about just the standardness of it all the wood panels on the door you know like that kind of I don't even know if they have wood panels but you know what I mean like that like standard Motel Six type look when you when you're a place like that that like if you went to a place like Ketch can Alaska and there was a Four Seasons right you know with like a some sort of a fireplace that has broken glass in it like one of those one of those weird ones you'd be like what the is this it wouldn't make any sense but the Hannibal burus Hotel I see a lot of red velour I see a lot like this room I see

22:53red velour black I see gold lace I see like a beautiful design to the place I hear good music food smells good food is good 24-hour food 24-hour food reasonable many bar prices I like it I need to make a profit but I'm not going to you over how many people we talking about in this hotel how big little right like a a little one for the first one something like 20 to 30 rooms something like that that's beautiful that's like a party yeah 20 rooms is like a party like if you had like we all have like we all gathered up all of our friends that we knew and we all brought girlfriends or WI and there's 20 of us we could we could fill a goddamn 20 room Hotel yeah easy definitely man that's a good move trying to I want to uh do entertainment for fun like seven years from now and not for money anymore yeah you know what I mean where it's not where it's not necessary

23:49to go on the road or or do a TV show or do a movie where it's like I I would really love to do that well then I'm torn yeah because uh I want your hotel to be successful but I want you to keep doing comedy I don't want you to turn into a lazy not a lazy but I be doing stuff with my real estate I want to I want to get my goal I want to get another building this year and damn you're a magnate and do two get two multif Family Properties a year for the next five years and then run for president and then no now go cuz that only pays 400,000 a year but it's a speaking Fe man speaking fees wo that's where you make all your money you do the do your eight years and when you get out you make a billion dollars how much you think Obama's going to make uh let me tell you a couple million you know who should be rooting and Crossing his fingers that Trump wins is Obama

24:46because if if Trump wins Obama will make so much money talking about you know like democracy and giving speeches about what it's like to be a president and what it's like to run the greatest nation in the world either way Trump oh he's going to be fine either way but he can like it could literally double his money if Trump wins do you here's a a theory a lot of people said not I I don't think he wants to win do you think he wants to win with the moves he's been pulling I don't know man he said he has one office one campaign office in Florida that has four employees good perfect he's win like hash Tiger Blood uh he's not he's not I mean beyond the idiotic he's saying he's not really running an efficient campaign it's entirely possible that he doesn't really want to win mhm uh if you think about it it's entirely possible that he thought that it would be like remember when Howard

25:40Stern ran for governor of New York was that 90s yeah something like that wasn't it Jamie um I think it was somewhere in there but um I don't think Howard Stern really wanted to be the governor governor governor uh I just think he wanted to have some fun right and that might have been what happened with Donald Trump like he might have been just thinking he was going to make a splash have some fun and uh now he's in too deep yeah he was still doing his TV show back then remember like he was still the Celebrity Apprentice guy or whatever it is not a Celebrity Apprentice is that the name of the show why does it sound so stupid it was just the Apprentice then it was the c um so NBC fired him from that show yeah because he was saying a bunch of about Mexicans and when they fired him from the show that's when he ramped it up and when he ramped up that's when

26:28he got more and more popular and that's when he won the Republican nomination like it's all part of it is because NBC canel his show that's what happened NBC made blame this is what we got to blame we got NBC and we got Caitlyn Jenner cuz there's a part of America that when Caitlyn Jenner won the woman of the year after being a woman for 6 months yeah and when ESPN did that giant piece on her and you know they're flying over her house with a helicopter and the drapes are blowing in the breeze and she's hiding in the shadows you're like what the there's a part of America that was like this enough we got to put our foot down we got to put our foot down now and then Trump came along I'm an and they were like I'm an too stand up stand proud people got upset I think there's a like a EB and flow to I think when things go too left wi too Progressive too transgenders in the bathroom all that

27:24crazy when that when that goes down there's a part of America that's just not ready and they go that and that's where you get Trump that's that's a solid Theory solid right it's I'm more fascinated when I watch the people in the crowd just really agreeing with the he saying like when he said the stuff black people what do you got to lose you had no jobs everybody's in poverty and there people in the back like yeah he said that yeah he said this a speech there a speech pleas appealing to he's appealing to voters by just say you don't you there's no jobs you living in poverty the schools are bad it's 58% unemployment with your youth I mean what do you got to lose it's a pretty good impression it's not bad I know exactly who you're doing wow we were watching earlier when you said that Obama founded Isis yeah we were watching that earlier we're like this is like a pro wrestling

28:20show like he's saying some crazy goes for it but he's saying some R here play it so we can hear it Jamie Trump asking for the votee of every single africaner suffered under Democratic control to those I say the following oh my God what do you have to lose by trying something new like Trump what do you have to lose I hope he's high as right now and he's making a documentary Shadow from the Hat covering his dumb eyes Chris Bell is filming all this serious secretly look at them they're all screaming cheering this is black woman back there I say it again what do you have to lose look what do you have to lose you're living in poverty your schools are no good you have no jobs 58% of your youth is unemployed what the hell do you have to lose wow this is amazing watch a movie it's a Cohen Brothers movie and at the end of four years I guarantee you that I will get over

29:3795% of the africanamerican vote I promise you he's a I promise you why why even just saying that like what who gives a if you what what percentage how do you know that like he doesn't have a plan he just talking it's it's it's F but the crowd is what yeah it's FAS if he was doing that for 30 people like okay I I get it but I have some pretty significant theories I think that people are way too soft I think it's way too easy to stay alive and I think we've never ever had that in human history and I think that we're overbreeding because of it at a ridiculous rate and I think there's a bunch of people out there that have no business Andor having kids well you just turned very serious I'm serious I think it's not their fault it's no one's fault it's no one's fault it's just the cycle that we're in we're in a a cycle of safety we're in a cycle of safety that's we're in a cycle of

30:35recreational outrage people are getting outrage of things that don't make any sense the reason why there's no lifethreatening situations that are constantly at your door there's no wolves there's no nothing's going wrong so we're going after words you can't say anymore you know don't say don't we're getting outraged about that's doesn't make any sense but that's more of product of the internet that survival those are bad examples having wolves come at your your door I think that's just a product of the internet people being able to react to something and people being able to uh gather together on something and then start a petition yeah those are bad examples I should have there's is not a bad example because it's like it doesn't that doesn't mean a disease it just means someone who's slow to get things yeah we we shouldn't automatically imply that you're you're

31:28picking on someone with a mental illness and in fact when people initially had Down syndrome when the birth certificates would come it would call them a idiot that would be like what it would be listed on the actual birth certificate yeah idiot mongoid idiot very straightforward it's very straightforward and very bizar hard times these are hard times we're talking about it's it's good it's look everything is good it's better to be alive right now this is as good as it gets this is a beautiful time but we're going to get things like that we're going to get things like that Trump thing because it's so easy to stay alive easy to be alive it's fun it's fun for it to be easy to be alive exactly I was at my friend's house we just got to balance back yeah he was playing PS4 and uh he was playing baseball on PS4 which I think is horrible is it horrible why is it horrible baseball

32:21video games I'm not into it is it give me football give me basketball give me fighting give me a fighting game give me some something shooting but baseball it's not good on a video game not to me obviously everybody likes what they likes but I'm over there as a guest he doesn't even have a second controller and I uh so I went on my phone went on Postmates Target PS4 controller the UFC 2 game they brought it was there in 20 minutes to my friend's house I I don't even own PS4 I just wanted to play something different they can do that they came through through Whi with the UFC game and the controller and we hooked that up and then we 20 minutes and we were playing UFC how the hell will they do that it's cuz they it's just basically a delivery you you you the post it's not Target it's Postmates where it's a person and they are driving around and they waiting for orders wow

33:16yeah so I'll take that over wolves yeah no I'm not saying that I think this is the best time to be alive ever for sure but there's guys like you and there's like a lot of my other friends and that that I'm just happy to know and happy to be around and then there's a bunch of people out there unfortunately and for them they've been exposed to some bad ideas yeah and they don't have the best genetics and they're living in somewhere that sucks and they get to vote too right I do see when I do I'll see I I'm I love reading comments on articles just to just to see like Is that real right is that a real human being that thinks that that's they and I'm fascinated all the time where it's it hurts me and it makes me happy at the same time I can't believe that I live on the same Earth as that type of person that that thinks that for real or a person that really thinks that Trump

34:12will be president or a person that has these well Trump could President right I mean it's halfway there he's the Republican nominee he is he's gotten super far I don't think I I don't think it's going to happen from here the fact he gotting this close is crazy it's crazy but I think those people that you were talking about that you you can't believe they think that way they're a product of whatever the happened to them in their world like there's pockets of the world that are all a mess right now and if you were born in that pocket or I was born in that pocket in the same sort of circumstances yeah that's one of the things that it's it's hard to recognize as a person you see someone's an you just go that's them but in a way we got to kind of look at those people go damn they just got they got born into a group of dummies with a bunch of Tendencies and crime and and

35:00nonsense and this is all they've ever known and they're just trying to get by and you know a guy like Trump comes along like yes finally and if it wasn't trump it could be a number of motivational speakers all throughout the country that might have nefarious intentions yeah anybody who's really like super charismatic now it's kind of open game right like when a guy like Trump can come along and talk as much crazy as he has and in in some ways I'm not opposed to him winning cuz in some ways I'm like look he is the best guy to this system in the ass and we know this system sucks it's almost like this guy's a suicide bomber like Trump's like this wild dude with a vest and a sweaty face and he's just running into that Cafe yeah boom well yeah the two-party system is flawed anyways I'm going to put that on a meme yeah it should be more than two people able to run like sure yeah it

36:04should be should be a lot do you know Tom rhods yeah he was on Duncan trussell's podcast the other day and he was talking about um the way it's set up in Holland 10 or something yeah something Jamie see if you can find out how many um candidates they have how many parties rather they have in Holland but it's many many many and they're all like they're it's it's real reasonable like how they're placed yeah and there's I'm sure there's like a lot of us me included that we were we're upset because there's some things on one side that I agree with some things on other side I agree with and some things that aren't being represented at all like the idea that these two people whatever opinions they discuss are the only opinions that we should all be talking about that's crazy crazy should be more why can't they collaborate but not Trump Jesus look at how many they have in

36:53Holland this is crazy how many they have Jamie 11 but there's 17 six of them didn't vote in the 2012 election so they might be brand new I'm not sure but they have 11 different parties that voted in the last yeah they all had candidates wow see that's that's right that's how it should be done we're we're getting Hoodwinked by a a group of people that are just controlling this ancient system and it's not a good system and they know it's not a good system but the only way you could ever stop this system is you have to have people with pure hearts and Minds that are willing to admit the system sucks so they're going to lose whatever position of influence that they have and step back and be judged by the Merit of their own ideas again instead of being a senator or a congressman or a president they just say look this system sucks you think it sucks I think it sucks let's

37:42get together the best legal Scholars and and and people that understand human nature and let's con conduct and compose a system that works yeah and let's really run the government like it's one of us and that we're all in this together these old realize that they just they just cling to power till they're in the grave they just hang on to it like it's a rope hanging over the abyss they know they're going to drop into it they don't want to let go oh we need to control these Independents reduce the number of percentages they have to be that's just the the way it's going to be man I'm fascinated by the just level of like obviously we have egos to want to do what we do but to want to run a country just a level well dude if you can't take jokes you can't play basketball and you're not really good at fighting you find a way to be special to want to run this a different

38:38it's a weird impulse it's a different type of of pressure here's here's the weirdest thing about that impulse when you see someone out there in the world when you see someone that you admire whether it's an athlete or a brilliant scholar or whoever the it is you see someone a musician you see some really admire that person has accomplished something amazing right all a president has to do is get people to like them right that's it like Obama really didn't have a whole lot of experience in the world like creating things or making things he went from being what a lawyer to a senator right lawyer yeah Community activist uh and then yeah state Senator Senator I mean and he got in I think I don't know if it stac C or C but he got in because uh he moved up because a dude had a sex scandal in Illinois oh that's right that's right um who was that dude that's your state I forget I forget who it

39:42was but he did it's not like like like pick a person like uh you know some some great person in history that's done something amazing and you you look at them and you're like wow I would love if that great person of of wisdom andom if that person would step up and be president that doesn't necessarily have to be the case in in America all you have to do is just be liked right that's kind of crazy it is it is uh it is I don't even know I mean both the Hillary and Trump are 70 or 69 like yeah they're too old you you why you doing that right you doing that old people can dream but don't dream so big dude you're 30 and you're thinking about retiring yeah 33 I'm like you're already buying hotels and thinking about an exit strategy yeah I'm thinking about I'm 100% cuz I I like this I like I enjoy this but I mean I see I see how I could go I just see how I look at how other

40:42people have handled their moment and how other people have handled their finances and I don't want to any part of that so I'm I'm making every step every I do every day is about being super stable 7 years from now and comfortable and to have enough passive income where I don't have to worry about that that's very smart man it's very smart and you're doing it like in a real proactive way not a whole lot of people look at it that way everybody else just sort of like rides it out you know or well it's a weird mindset right it's like the investment mindset is so different than the creative mindset yeah it's just just look I mean know it's just you know not just spending smart and just I research a lot now and just you know shift my internet time from the to just looking at properties and just that's smart trying to do something else man and just I I just don't I don't want to end up on no

41:38special he spent all then 2014 and he did and now he's done that I don't want real Hollywood stories Hannibal burst I don't want to be on some goofy ass show that I don't want to be doing uh eight years from now where you like oh he definitely needed the money I don't want to do anything anything isn't that a funny conversation man that's a funny conversation because we all know what it's like have you ever been on a bad show on a bad show like a a bad TV not on no not really I haven't done that much that many different TV shows there's a bunch of dudes out there right now working in lumber yards driving trucks taking meth trying to stay awake listening to us right now going you are complaining about being on a shitty TV show where do I sign up bro where the do I sign up to get out of this job and you're right folks you're right but you got to you got to humor Us yeah you got to humor us

42:31cuz I've been on a bad show and uh I was on a show that was it was it was worse than a bad show it was a good show it turned into a bad show I was on the show called Hardball and it started out these guys who wrote it they wrote for The Simpsons they wrote for Married with Children Jeff Martin and Kevin kerran really smart guys yeah and they um they wrote this hilarious pilot we did it Jim Brewer was in the pilot and I was in the pilot and a bunch of other people that wound up doing doing a bunch of different movies and and it was a funny pilot and then the network got a hold of it and they just the out of it and they threw in some really hacky producer who wound up getting he he wound up getting fired like halfway through the six episodes that we did and it was allegedly there was a bunch of other going on and the writing was off the charts bad yeah it was so so I

43:17got to be like on a bad show it's a terrible feeling man for a season no only like six episodes six episodes but the first the first one was the pilot which was really funny and then it just was like all of a sudden I was over here doing something that was terrible and you're better off doing nothing than doing something you hate yeah that doesn't make any sense because you make money and ultimately it's worth doing and ultimately for me it was definitely worth something because I learned from the experience you can't just do a TV show right you got to be sure and even if you're sure like the pilot was really funny I was pretty sure that that would be okay it doesn't matter because a bunch of other factors can fall into place yeah I just remembered I did do a bad show it's my show last year what happened with that it uh I think it mean we had our moments but it

44:06just we might need some more booze to get the truth out of here get out here with some ice uh I think it's just it had its moments but we didn't we they came with the idea they came to me and the producer and in Comedy Central came basically this is the show this is idea hanal doing at this man on the street stuff just just figuring out the qu answers to these questions but it just I guess we didn't really focus it and focus the uh the point of view and it was kind of all over the place and we had our funny moments and did some a couple good sketches but it just by the end of it it didn't feel I wasn't excited anymore like those last two episodes were just you know we do it in front of a live audience it really was just about finishing that man I hate to hear that man yeah it's it's but I I'm happy I did it and I I had that moment where you know for what was that two months

45:07last year had my own TV show not a lot of people get to say that uh but uh yeah it's just you know he learned a lot I learned a lot it was fun got to work with some cool people but yeah just wasn't as far as what I wanted my first uh you know kind of headline and Pro to be uh it wasn't that beautiful Jameson and uh whiskey and ice just brought up um now what what were you trying to do and what went wrong I don't you know what am I an interviewer now listen to that give me the glass bro give you some ice I sounded like Matt low you I was like I just went into interview mode as I got some ice you know I think I kind of went into it not you know not really knowing I mean I learned later on how to run things better and how to give people Direction on what I needed a little bit better but I don't think we came in with a focus cuz I was thinking with a TV show not not that we would

46:13completely wing it but that we would uh be able to kind of find it as we go we never did a true pilot episode Cheers Cheers we never did a true pilot episode I I pilot episode was our Premiere episode and I look at some of my choices I chose this weird ass closing bit on there well oh why did I pick that as a bit I didn't write it but I liked it sometimes you like stuff in the writer's room like that is hilarious and then you execute that and like what were we doing can I ask you a question sure okay outside of a television show if you were just sitting around and someone said Hannibal I want you to just be your creative self would you ever gravitate towards writing sketches would I gravitate towards writing yeah just on your own on my own no but it was it's sometimes where I come up with something that definitely works better visually than uh stand up than stand up oh I try

47:17to tell a stand up bit like but it it will work better uh visually animated or or as a sketch yet yeah definitely I agree there's there's there's subjects that I've had to abandon they really did I thought they were hilarious but I couldn't they just didn't they weren't they were a better idea for like a play than they would be for uh standup comedy yeah but when we're uh coming up everybody wanted to be on Saturday Night Live because Eddie Murphy was on there Ed everybody wanted to be on sketch comedy shows because that would lead to these big careers like you know Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider and all these people that became like these huge movie stars right so we all like gravitated towards acting and and then there was sitcoms where Roseanne made all this money and then Seinfeld made all this money he's like oh I got to get a sitcom yeah but when I was on that bad

48:08sitcom halfway in I was like this is not what I wanted to do like I up I listened to the I want to do standup yeah that's what I want to do now with a guy like you like what I want to hear is you talk about everything I don't want to hear I mean I want to hear you doing prepared if that's what you want to do like what I would want to hear from you if I was a producer and I was a network and I was Comedy Central I would say Hannibal listen all these Executives all these producers what do you think is funny what do you want to do I want to know I don't want a bunch of people filtering the Hannibal Vision By the time like when Doug Stan hope and I did the man show which was a giant mistake one of the big problems with was with that show was like with Doug and I had a up idea by the time it would get to the it would be all watered down by the time we would ever

48:55get to the television there's no way you could just have the only way to do that is like the internet the internet is the only way where you could just like if someone was smart they would come along and they would say listen if if I was Comedy Central I would say animal it's just like we're just G to give you a bunch of money and we're just going to give you a production team and just come up with whatever the you want to come up with I want you to take six months just think about what you want to do cuz I know it's going to be funny I I think you're hilarious I'll Take 6 months come up with whatever the you want to do let's put this online let's do this come on annibal and then if they wanted to make a television show out of that I mean that's what happened with Ari shafir show yeah yeah they were doing it as the online thing Y and the onl honestly the online's better it's better

49:42to get on the online no if you go on the online it's it's there always it's there any minute of any day if it's just the TV version of it I mean once it goes online then it becomes equal to the online version but there's no like loss in not having the TV version because like if someone watches Comedy Central during a a show when Ari's on like what is AR's ratings what does he get like a million dollars in episode or a million uh people an episode true a million dollars an episode he'd be very happy be crazy but if he got a million people an episode like you could easily if you had a crazy viral video like some of Joey Diaz's videos they probably have close to a million right like how many of Joey's um things on uh this is not happening have more than a million find out what Joey Diaz is stories on this is not happening half I guarantee you they have a million yeah

50:30cuz people I mean it's just people can watch it on their phone they can watch whatever they share hear it and they tell your friends yeah yeah interet where if you did that and you had a show like that it was just you if you if you really want to do a show just you doing whatever the you think is funny would be giant I'd watch it I'm figure it out sure I DVR the out of that show I'm going to figure it out I've been kind of what do we got here it's us huh look what is this this is not happening Joey Diaz 1,129 487 views that's what I'm talking about yeah I mean that's like that's real numbers man I mean that's the same kind of numbers you get if you have a TV show it's the same right definitely it's real close man we're like um maybe a year or two away from the idea of being on a television show being no different than the idea of being on a YouTube show even

51:32I mean a lot of these I'm doing some celebrities react uh show on Thursday where they like our viewership is four times the average TV show like that's their in the in the email they they talk about their numbers like it's two times a normal this four times that it's and just they have a crazy subscriber list and all on YouTube millions of subscribers YouTube is where it's at for a lot of things it's just a matter of time we just uh I mean that's how Comedy Central now judges the successor that shows not just on the the on on air the initial era they judge it based on the Facebook shares the YouTube stuff the the SnapChat thing and and all of that's that's the com it's a combined uh formula they use to judge the success of the show it's smart I mean that's really the way to think about it because they have to be honest there's a giant percentage of the people

52:32that are going to watch their show on YouTube or any other whether I mean I don't know how many people watch comedycentral.com do you know I would imagine it's not nearly as much as YouTube but what's amazing about YouTube is there's only one YouTube yeah like how is there not a million YouTubes how is there not a million of these weird websites where you can just upload video anytime you want and watch the craziest all day long I mean there's Live Leak right there's uh what are the what are the other ones there's a lot of weird ones that they're based they're not popular not yeah there's one popular one if you say I saw Google B Google Ball YouTube Skynet 135 million bucks is all they paid too that's it for YouTube yeah it's good when did they buy deal like 2004 or five I think and how much is Kanye's entire sneaker worth if you sold every sneaker million I don't it's worth a

53:32pretty close to that probably that's probably pretty close that's amazing that's how much they paid for that for YouTube YouTube is a Monster yeah it's it's somehow or another in this world of the internet where there's probably like what how many hundreds of millions of websites I take that I already correct that 1.65 billion in stock not son of a Jesus Jamie meanwhile here's some perspective the UFC sold for 4 billion it's more valuable to kick people in the dick and the head and elbow in the face than it is to create YouTube yeah I looked some up on it the other day I think that's why the numbers were stuck in my head it's uh at least from what I read it cost something like $6.7 billion to run YouTube right now year a year and like the revenue they're getting maybe just from ads is like less than 5 billion so they're taking a loss on it but what that's just for they're

54:31doing the future bet kind of like it won't be that for four or five more years it's just how it has been oh so that's why there's only one YouTube it's tough to be YouTube expensive all that makes sense it's amazing though I mean that's a if you want to talk about an incredible example of success like YouTube is the only video Upstream place that everybody or upload place that everybody recogniz is instantly yeah in the sea of the Internet it's uh that's incredible it's topnotch man they do do some good you do do you do ads with them no no I mean they put up ads but I don't have anything to do with it yeah um we do just ads on this show and then we upload the the difference between the YouTube version of the show and the uh podcast version the podcast version has um they has uh uh ads that we read you know like from U um promo uh email thing and then the uh

55:29YouTube one has no ads it just goes up and then whatever ads YouTube ads they add okay adds for on it I took some of it on it how you feeling I think I'm feeling I don't know maybe the whiskey is canceling it out or maybe I'm just normal n I'm feeling a little drunk I'm good yeah I it's not going to help the drunk too much maybe it'll help you uh formulate sentences meanwhile the word formulate came out very clumsily some of formulate you ever been to Israel no have you no I got offered a gig in Israel don't go in June why not I'm reactionary I don't know you should go I took sure you took it I took the gig um when is it for it was supposed to be in June supposed to be spoiler alert very I Unearthed the lead but still interesting story all so took this gig in Israel in telie only because my ex-girlfriend is is really is is really oh my God and so I'm thinking she ever you with a

56:38machine gun in your mouth no she's not real and so she's just really and I'm thinking hey maybe she want to come on this trip with me you know what I mean I'll take this I'll take this K over here and uh wo and then I took the gig turns out she was mad cuz she was like you didn't go to Tel Aviv with me when we were together so now I got this gig at Tel Aviv that's not even routed with anything else and then I start getting these uh tweets from people and why are you going to Tel Aviv do you know what they're doing to the Palestinian people you are supporting genocide I'm like I was just trying to get back on my ex-girlfriend and like you are supporting hate of supporting the Zionist I'm like I didn't know I just heard it was dope beaches and so I was getting all these and they why why would you do this join these other artists that are boycotting Israel is that common uh is it boy I

57:49think it was like Talib I think it's it's a bunch of other people that won't tour Vanilla Ice Vanilla Ice Ice uh Craig Zappa uh Craig ma yeah Craig Mack Ellen degenerous uh gpp uh lne a lot of people B mler won't go over there oh my God but yeah so it was just funny getting all these angry political tweets okay that is up what's going on over there but that's not can I be sympathetic and also maybe do this gig I ended up canceling gig but not because of the tweets and the anger uh just cuz I I booked a movie that conflicted with it the movie was more important than the motherland but let me ask you this honestly if the girl was going to go with you you knew you're going to get your freak on would you have taken the gig over the movie or you would you have broken her heart and not taken her back to the motherland I would have taken her back another time another

58:45time good move a gentleman see not it's over sorry you missed it I'm on Fast and the Furious 56 if I was a girl I'd be so pissed a dude broke my crazy trip to Israel for Fast and the Furious 56 to do to do three lines in it you and Vin Diesel you you get run over by a charger yeah that's a good move though take her another time yeah I mean we'll see but did you guys communicate afterwards did you settle down the the issue that you never took her to get to Israel while you guys were together I settled I don't think that it's some issues you uh you can't settle down and you just work on what you can work on again let me bring this up recreational outrage and let me pose a scenario okay here's a scenario you two are living in a cave okay and a bear just ate her sister M and you you guys saw it and you escaped and you you you fought off the Bear's friends with a spear and you made

59:48it to the top be friends living 500,000 years ago Hannibal 500 be are other bears other Bears why did you just say other Bears instead of the Bears Friends making it up as I go along cuz it made it sound like when you said the Bears friends it made it sound like it could be like a giraffe or like some other animals that's a good other Bears I don't think Bears a friend was anything they can eat but yeah but I just assumed Bears friends just other Bears it's another I'm so sorry you make a really good point so managing to save this girl from being predated upon right right by these uh monsters these giant monsters you fight them off and you get her up to top cave you carry her over your shoulders you lay her down on the skin unscathed yes unscathed but her sister's dead and you you you lay her down on the skins of a bear that you have also killed yourself with a

60:39spear in a separate situation in a separate situation so this is all cleaned and everything yeah yeah she's not going to complain about you not taking her to the motherland to Israel right when you guys were dating she's not going to give a because the stakes are much higher and this is just you you you're a hero you've saved her physical entity you've saved her soul from passing on to the next generation of doubt this Beyond land where no one knows what the is really going on you get glimpses if you take mushrooms you stick your head and you pop it back and you're never really quite sure whether or not what you saw what whatever you saw was real right then you would her on that rug but meanwhile I don't think I cuz she my sister just died yeah you would you'd her you'd be happy she'd be happy for saving her life and yeah maybe not her sister how about her cousin how

61:33about her cousin was kind of yeah her cousin who was fat and big and she had giant ankles and she hated her whole life cuz she had shitty genetics she got pink hair she likes to bully small boys how about that girl maybe I mean you know you'd have to ask her can you imagine if that was a case in the in the cave people community there was this one girl was like a blocker she had rules she's like I can't you because my friends tell we all have a rule when we go back to a room we just we just can't do it you can't a guy not on the first date not on the first date only after he's built at least seven fires for you yeah so sad so sad people not being able to be themselves cuz they met so many people along the way that weren't themselves and they're like God damn it I can't show you yet yeah I can't take off my kabuki mask and show you the soul of the Eternal self yeah yeah I don't

62:31know I do I sometimes I I uh this uh it was his waitress at the uh uh I was staying at the Vdara SM joint this restaurant this is a good store I can tell and and she was uh she was beautiful and I was hanging out with uh my friend in Vegas that she's cool where you know I can openly talk about other women with her well she like yeah she's beautiful yeah she's and this waitress she was so AKA lesbian I don't know if that's the word but this waitress was so be you ever meet a waitress I feel like I'd be she'd be playing like the superfly soundrack put that well you ever meet a waitress where you say she you shouldn't be a waitress was she it wasn't about her looks she just had a sort of composure to her just kind of restrained she was beautiful but still just super she doesn't know yet that people will look at you weird if you're a waitress that's what it is she's a

63:40young person doesn't understand and if she's lucky she meets a guy like Hannibal bur who doesn't judge her for the fact that she's I when when she brought me to Bill I wanted to say let's get out of here I want to say what are your dreams and how can I help with them wow did you say it no I didn't say that cuz I can't say why cuz we don't hang out enough what if I was right next to you be like dude let this go who gives a it who gives a do you miss her I uh I don't miss her no uh but you know where she is I know she's in she's in Vegas how long ago was this this was uh this was yesterday you should go back this was yester in Vegas our our work here is done should fly back but you know why I didn't uh she she knew who I was and you know why I was I I say I didn't want her having to sit with my weird energy for the she had to work her shift after my weird intense energy on

64:41her so I didn't want to leave that stink on her for the rest of the day also that might be me overestimating my effect on people but you know what I mean that's very honest of you yeah yeah cuz she don't need that right that's really honest again Kudos A+ A+ for handling that weirdness yeah what do you do I mean maybe she wasn't into you at all thought she yeah which is the case most of the time a lot of the time a lot of time women are just fans they don't want nothing else besides that and that's a fine too right I get I get to sometimes girls hop in a DM on Instagram and they hey you want to meet up uh have a drink and I'll just uh sometimes depending on my mood I said trying to get the pipe just to just to see what the tone is you know cuz that's what uh that's a that's a reference to uh J.R Smith for basketball play like some girl posted up uh is that what he said she yeah some

65:46girl posted up his DMS so I'll say that sometimes also he's a man amongst men how about him for president run sir run but I'll just say that sometimes cuz also I don't want it's funny I think that's also I think it's whack for a girl to just come in my DM yeah that's uh oh my God that's brilliant so I stole that from him oh really oh really what you trying to get the pipe holy and that girl blew him up I'm going eat a game tonight dope smiley face I'm a hoe look how weird is it you could see him but her face is blurred out we should all be able to like see both part parties if you want to put this up you can't hide the darkness we should be able to know who you are too that's a weird thing to do but uh yes so so I like to set the tone sometimes just to see cuz I like that word too cuz cuz girls are hit me regular style and just say hey you want to grab

66:45drinks what you just hit me up the same way you talk to your friend hey you want to grab drinks oh there she is say something better to me I'm a famous comedian say something clever do something send a pick or your or some your titties or something Jesus don't just say you want to grab drinks like this is uh this is not a this is not a normal situation if it was normal you wouldn't be hitting me like this so say something better I see your point but they don't want to let's think about their point let's think about their point I know what their point is they want to play casual they want to play cool they want to keep something inuendo and keep it subtle and I get that and sometimes I play along with that sh too and say sure let's grab a drink well let's grab a drink and I go and everything goes down how I wanted to go down but sometimes I'm like I just want

67:30to hear you say it I want to see you say it right I I hear what you're saying you're saying that you have sexual attraction to them and you want to be sure if this goes any further that this isn't just some weird celebrity thing which it ends up being some because some sometimes they like no I don't want to I just want to hang out with one of the funniest guys around well you know what I'm only in this town for a night I don't want to have drinks with a just casual platonic ass drinks I think you should value my time more than that or here's the other the other possible point of view they don't understand why they're even attracted to you they just know they are they know that there's some funny going on they know that that you're hilarious they know that you're smart as they're tra to you they're confused they can't believe they're in contact with a celebrity well they're not necessar I

68:24have to accept the de I know but they're in contact with you they're in contact it's we but see a lot of times and I it's something that I've accepted that sometimes they just want to they want to hang out for the brck this one chick I think yo in in Athens Georgia I use I use date naap sometimes and I use bumble bumble what is your profile so we can get you laid it's just uh I deleted it actually recently oh girl cuz I was down girls I deleted it cuz I like uh this is too much there's too much going on here so this chick in Athens uh Athens Georgia Athens Georgia come through the room I think that's where Forest Griffin's from she come through the room about I never met her I uh she come through Hotel like four we go over to the hotel bar grab a beer come right to the room it's kind of stiff and awkward but she's kind of there for and uh end up happening we have sex and uh it's pretty

69:29quick she's about to leave the room all right see you later I got like towel around my waist she's like uh can we take a picture real quick like no wow they get in a post sex selfie with me post groupy sex selfie what are you what world you live in you just take this story with you and get out of here not getting a selfie but I make bad decisions all the time I feel like we should have a commercial break I don't know how to do one yet we can't splice in commercials you know I think uh it's hard being a groupy just like it's hard being Hannibal burus it's it's hard it's hard being a person hard being a person navigating these Waters is this is it's weird waters for for everybody and I get I get the energy is bad something not bad but just this a you know what's weird man here's what's weird people don't even know why they're attracted to certain people they don't understand it you know

70:36and they try to quantify it I think uh you know there's some people that are attracted to people in weird ways and they almost want to test the waters I want to meet you Hannibal I don't think it's even I don't think it's attracting I think is I think it's just straight up sometimes it's attractive and then sometimes it's just straight up your person television your personal stage it could be that you the the but there a lot of them are like really young you know if a person's 24 years old how much they really understand completely about their motivations right you know or someone's 22 what what you're doing a lot of times is almost like on Instinct and then you're sort of self-correcting as you go along you know yeah does that make any sense you just do I mean I made I still occasionally make decisions with what the Yeah of course you're I why did I

71:34let that person in my apartment you Dr I should have gotten the hotel room it's drinking drinking God damn it we're drunk right now I want to say I'm drunk yet yeah we're buzz buzz these are big ass drinks I poured yeah this is really not smart put this on the internet yeah we're about to we're about to get memd up man me up and clipped up clip it up we can handle this together they're say we're going to be pilot and co-pilot misogynist comedian Hannibal burs know what you are dude you're unfiltered and everybody wants to be unfiltered but nobody wants unfiltered yeah it's not nobody wants unfiltered but there's a lot of people that don't want unfiltered and they want you to think that nobody wants unfiltered like you're not saying anything that I wouldn't expect you to say if we were alone and the microphones were off if you and I were hanging out at The Comedy

72:26Store we'd have the same conversation I'd be laughing the exact same way that's actually we wouldn't cuz it' be a bunch of other comedians ear hustling and I wouldn't you don't trust them but you'll tell it online you know what it is it's not it's not I'm more like this doesn't it does seem it seems even though obviously it's way more people listening and watching but it's more about the visual of other people like you know you having a conversation with somebody and then but you feel other people that's not part of the conversation looking well that feels more unnatural to me than doing this you know what I'm saying I agree a th% and it probably doesn't make any sense person on the outside it doesn't make any sense at all it that's why it's like I think like it's not their fault if someone's hanging around us there's been situations like that before where someone is like weasel into a

73:19conversation between me or you or me it was me and Diaz and some other dude the other night and this guy came up to us and just sandwiched his way into a conversation in the kitchen yeah I'm like how'd you get back here like why come on man like but part of me part of me thinks like if I was that guy how would I do it right what do you do if you walk up you know you you're at the comedy store you're supposed to go left to take a leak and you go right and you're into the kitchen and Joey Diaz is talking to arri shafir and Hannibal and you guys are all hanging out and hilarious stories are being told right and you just want to stand there and stare yeah you want to I mean you want to listen to it I would do it right now I would do it right now if those guys hated me if for some reason those guys wouldn't be my friends anymore I'm like I don't know what the I did but

74:12damn I got to find a hole in this vent so I could listen in on them talk dude in uh one of the weirdest interactions I had with a fan which I have a lot cuz I go out a lot and go drinking and and so I'm super exposed all the time uh but I was in Chattanooga uh last year we played his uh was venue and we go out afterwards me my T Al Jackson uh my boy Marcus a couple girls we met and um we go to this bar nice bar not that many people there maybe 12 15 people in the whole bar and it's big it's pool tables over on this side bars here they had these Wings they had these smoked wings that I was eating maybe the best wings I've had ever top five EAS like I'm crushing them it was a spiritual experience what's so good about them they just were well made they were grilled they were cooked well I wish I remember the name of this but it was the wings were so good grilled I'm

75:17just killing These Wings marinated and just in the zone maybe marinated they had good sauce hot you like spicy I do like spicy I don't remember but I'm destroying These Wings like I'm in the zone like it's it's like I'm like it it was inba Jam I was on fire and then this dude comes up man hey I was at the show uh can I take a picture with you I said yeah man just uh I'm eating wings right I'm eating right now let's give me a few minutes I'm happy to take a picture he's like come on man let me take a picture I was man I'm eating right now let me let me just finish eating and he said would you rather me take a wing or take a picture and I said i' rather you get the out of my face right now I told you like because he pushed it it wasn't a crowded bar it wasn't like a meet and greet right I told him I was happy to take a picture with him afterwards just

76:08let me finish my I had sauce all over my hands and it's like give it a few minutes Reas give me a few minutes he he acts cool he acts cool and and um reasonable about it and but and you know who literally I know he's doing a bunch about it so on the other side of the bar it's another bigger SP with the where the bathroom is so I go to the bathroom and I step out uh coincidentally who's at the bathroom this oh no I walk he don't say nothing I walk past him and then it's a it's a long space it's before you get to the entrance to the bar again and I get there he's standing by the bathroom door he yells thought you were cool Hannibal thought you were cool you act like an I paid $25 for your show you you acting like you're Dave Chappelle or some and Dave Chappelle and Kevin Hart and and how many days span between stories they're far apart from each other but it's a go-to when people want

77:06to try to diss you and try to bring up a Bigg you think you're Dave how come the old story is me right right basically he said hey if Dave Chappelle was mean to me when I kept bothering him while he was eating I'd get it but you you have to give me your God that's hilarious you think you Dave SP I was like you you paid for a show you didn't pay for a meet and greet I told you i' take the picture with you after I was done eating and you kept pressing me and so he he bitched about the $25 or whatever now I'm like sitting stewing man about I'm at the bar like this I told him I take a picture with this bar ain't even crowded it would have been easy to take a picture with him if he just relaxed and then I I take $25 out of my pocket i ball it up he's over at the pool table I woke up and I throw it at him like take your money back if that's what you wanted and then he pick

78:03he throws it back at me and I ball it up hit him in the face with it oh my goodness and then they were ready to fight and I was ready to fight the dude but then his if I was there while this was all going on I'd be like where's the exit okay who's wearing clothes where I can't tell if they have a gun and then his friend F going on then his friend I was ready to punch dude actually and then his friend pulled out a camera phone like oh your public is going to love this and I like I guess we're not fighting then wow you're ready to fight icks it wasn't about the 25 bucks it was about it's about the words about the just talking and just acting like I wasn't I was being totally chill and chill and and saying hey I will let me finish let me finish eating wipe my hands I'm happy to take a picture with you and he kept pressing me and he he popped off afterwards after I thought

78:49we settled it yeah I know what you mean man um from someone who's been inter erupted while you're eating it is annoying but I've always tried to try to figure out like okay what is what's the difference between how weird it is for me to be eating for someone to come up to me got better at that too over time where I I put myself it's weird in the spot and I and I'm nice and I remember and I remember what it is to them for them to to ask for that yeah listen man I got a man crush on Anthony Bourdain and every time I hang around with him I feel Goofy this is just a fact I just like him I like I think I like the way he thinks I like his balls the guy takes up Jiu-Jitsu when he's 58 years old yeah you know and uh like I think in in certain situations you have to understand like the way you feel around someone is affected by your respect for them and sometimes it gets weird right like if a

79:47dude comes up to you he's like hey handbo think I get a picture and you're like I'm eating right now man relax and like they don't even know what the they're saying you know like if if I'm a Hannibal fan and I walk up and you got a mouthful of wings I'm just just real quick let just take this picture I got the out of here yeah I can't believe I took this chance but I I was like I told him yeah I mean but I I get that side of it and that's why I wish I didn't uh react like that and I and I I wish I I I kept the chill and which I do more often now but some it's just I don't know that's a good what you just said is beautiful I do more often now so you're thinking about it I think about I'm aware of it when people come up to me and just uh and I just remember what it is that that and that it is a a a privilege that they you know support my work and and try to just give them

80:41that moment versus but it's even still some sometimes are genuinely rude Y and sometimes people can be entitled and sometimes people uh don't care if you're talking to three women they will that's true they will bust that up you're right I mean it's one of the things about life you never know who you're going to run into you can run into someone that's just goofy yeah but I it's uh it's a it's an interesting it's just an interesting lens man it's a it's an interesting lens not just for you um but also for for me to look through what you're talking about but for other people too as well you know I think uh we're we're all doing this weird thing man we're all just surviving in this strange life that's temporary if we're lucky we get a hundred years if you're lucky but the last years Super Lucky that's super super lucky Super Lucky for the last few years you're just hanging

81:46on yeah just hanging on just waiting to get weary enough so you let go and slip into the abyss yeah I try to keep the perspective especially in this business when like this is a maybe this is a limited moment this is a limited time but not it's not I hate when people like you say that what I I think I was talking about this last time funny as dude you're not going anywhere I hate when someone who's you know pisses me off Jim Norton if you're listening to me you stop telling me stop stop telling me you're worried about the F stop it you're awesome I hate when awesome people don't know they're awesome you know relax but even Jim Norton you're amazing it's hilarious you have to you don't have a goddamn thing to worry about there's going to be people going to see Jim Norton for the end of time and I'm one of them and I feel the same way about you I don't know I mean I

82:44just I think uh seven years seven more years hotels got hotels on the seven more years stocks you know you do stocks though a little bit I do uh really intelligent Jewish gentlemen who handle your money so because you're too stupid to do it that's what I do I uh I uh I big fan of the jeice I had they had put some those those people the money people they had put uh a lot of my money in mutual funds I looked at what a mutual fund is with other people buying stocks and I don't I don't like that cash out my mutual funds and I want to pick my own stocks well if you're really into owning hotels and picking stocks I understand me I'm not into that you know what company I like is this company called catapult sports that do they do wearable GPS technology oo um the Golden State Warriors use them some other pro teams use them like what are you wearing like a vest or something it's like for

83:56practice in different training they they track Athletes Performance wow so they track how crazy is that uh they're tracking people from a satellite how fast they're moving just different I mean I can't get into the Super specifics of it uh Mark Cuban invested in them 2014 I uh I found them on accident when I was looking up I was looking up some pharmaceutical company called catalyst and I for some reason my brain put catapult then I found this company started looking it up you found them by accident I found them on accident started looking it up and I uh I invested in them kind of heavily that's a very good move dude you want to be my manager and so that is a really you you got super super fortunate that's like a a crazy typo but uh yeah it and I it was it's about two months ago and anytime I call my stock guy I I keep up in my position in him and I call him hey put

85:01on give me 25,000 more on on catapult and then he like Han Let's uh give me a call real quick oh you can't just text him no he just like wants to talk me through like you sure you got a lot you got a lot in catapult already you sure you want to do indiv about what about that other stock I told you about you sure you that stock is doing way better now hey let's just do I like catapult man dude you just blew catapult the up I like what you just did I think it's a solid I mean but I I wouldn't I've told friends about it they like it too I just it's it's still early in the company and they they they got offices in in the states too they based in Australia and I think uh if I don't know what the it is explain it to me what does it mean wearable GPS technology now if I'm an idiot and I'm I'm hearing that I'm okay so you're using a satellite to track the movement of people they're tracking the

86:02performance like heart rate uh workload yeah steps speed it's all done through like what an ankle bracelet like what do you what do you put on them I think that chest how do you well how do you know what the exertion is is it a vest oh it's a vest is it yeah okay A little picture of right there littley oh oh that's what you were showing me earlier oh that's different okay that makes sense this dude just got like a a chest harness which I'm sure could measure I don't know like energy what would it measure if you how does something on your chest measure what you're doing with your legs like how do those uh iPhone apps measure your strides and how many uh steps you take in miles they can do it off of like there's a it's not easy math but they can tell how far of like if you're 6 foot they know how long like the oh you enter your height like the whatever it's called the little oh interesting

87:01cyclometer not thinking of the right word but but so it's not necessarily tracking you through GPS this one might be I don't know this one is right isn't that the premise behind this one I mean how do you know how they do it in the UFC when they're tracking how much how many feet they're running around the oct dude that's a good question they don't have a GPS on them they they're probably following him with like a tracer maybe a dude uh it's his job to follow each person with uh I mean I would do that but you know what man that that statistic is interesting and I I support the chasing of the data try to figure out how much someone moves but it's not that important it's not that important it's weird it's getting super specific because it doesn't necessarily uh it's it's a statistic it's interesting she shouldn't dwell on it so these dudes that are playing soccer they ma they

87:52they they monitor all that too how much each team runs and all that like they just in football they just like recently the last couple years stopped hitting in practice not more because they found out about concussions and whatnot but it's also added technology and like uh when I was at Cowboys training camp last week there's a guy telling me they brought in 8k cameras for when Tony Roman was hurt so he could sit in a truck in the back practice and watch Real Time football practice with a headset on like VR stuff oh wow and and so he could see the real going and still give advice what was going on he was hurt for the last eight weeks or whatever the year and they don't have it all the time CU it's really expensive to run right now still but they still had 3D 360 cameras running around following the the players uh crazy stuff just shout out to uh the

88:39dude from the Dallas Cowboys who what's his name uh Charles that drives the hall char Charles he hooked it up he gave me a card to give to Jamie it's like I know Jam's a football fan let's make it happen grit iron they're doing that for the UFC too they're just trying different things out 360 video there's new technology be dude there's going to be virtual reality where you're going to be able to like be Nick Diaz as he fights against Conor McGregor you're going to be able to look through each Fighter's eyes they're going to figure out a way to do it imagine just a little chip just need what chip you got Jamie I got the S18 oh man you should have waited for the 19 I know I know but I'm pretty happy with the 18 I mean it's it doesn't take as much battery life I got 363 GK ability it's just low resolution it's good we're good that video game is pretty intense

89:30the the new UFC game on P like and I know it sounds like unplugging but it no it was cool we were yelling me and my me and my friend were like like it was that intense cuz it was you know it's Parts where you almost about to knock the guy out and then it's a good game it's a very good game I had I had fun so I I I can attest to it because uh I had to do the commentary for that game like the when you hear that EA Sports game that's not commentary from actual fights right that's commentary just me doing pretend and Goldberg doing pretend and dude we did a fuckload of hours yeah I mean it was hours and hours and hours and hours and it was over a long and I'm not complaining I'm just saying you have to have to say so much stuff and there's me man scan me and they put me in the game Rogan on the game yeah I'm in the game you have to um have a secret unlockable I got to have a code like

90:24Konami Code uhoh I did this so I can get out of doing more commentary because there was so much to do damn I wish I looked that good there was so much to do oh that's dope man it was it was a constant um grind but I I put my e my full effort into it like I I really wanted it to be good I was thinking just if I was a kid and I was playing this game I would want it to sound like like a guy really got head kicked dude it's it's intense man we I hear it is man it it was a fun it like I I don't want to see me get beat the up just Jamie I'm Jamie showing a video of me about to get my ass kicked by Nick Diaz are you get destroyed really fast I would imagine if the game's realistic pull it up imagine I get up people want to see it wait but they might have you since you're a secret character they might have you uh I got some skills they might have you Juiced up I got it doesn't matter I got

91:21some bu skills let me let's hear my cuz you know I'm super casual fan so my commentary oh Rogan with the leg kicks I've never heard this before oh is it oh Rogan with the leg kicks Ro Rogan got kicked in the face oh oh Rogan with the kicks Diaz is backing up Rogan missed uhoh ran kicked in the chest tattoos accurate look at that holy uhoh oh uhoh Rogan's not caring about the height disadvantage uh oh uh oh uh oh Rogan's in danger uh oh let's see what Rogan's ground game is like not good oh Diaz is about to punch Roan in the face uhoh dog off my back will Rogan be able to pull off a submission from this position uh-oh Rogan oh Rogan with the turnaround it's call a sweep P out P out I let him up wow r back up uh-oh oh this should be illegal oh d r should be illegal watch two people fake fight when you know one dude would beat the out of me know I said

92:39me so as to not leave any any confusion oh this is so stupid oh oh whe kicked him oh he's about to finish him oh oh stop it he's out oh e wait why they let me punch him in the head when he was unconscious why don't they stop the fight quicker than that the fake me rather and the fake him how'd that feel it's weird it felt weird you know what bothered me the most the last two punches cuz it wasn't he was already unconscious the fake him that a good obvious oh do you know how hard Nick Diaz would me up like this is an embarrassment to humanity it is allowed to be a visual image of me beating Nick Diaz's ass I've on LeBron James before dude enjoy that man that's what that's what that's what it's an Escape this is what I want to say I want to see Nick Diaz versus Conor McGregor that's what I want to see I want to see that more than I want to see anything in life I wish I had something

93:38I want more than I want to see the aurora borealis more that I want to go to the kek observatory in Hawaii and revisit the Milky Way more than I want to see any of those things I want to see Nick Diz versus Conor McGregor yeah Nick Diaz Conor McGregor had a cool his little walk around the ring as he got in it was awesome he was awesome bad D with the way he walked around when he got in the ring I didn't think he was going to get punched in the face as much as he did I mean he still won but that was a cocky interest I was like oh he about the first round knock out this the way he just came in here well I mean what he's trying to do is just like Shake It Off put an air out there but at the end of the day he's fighting Nate DS no one's getting no first round knockout it's going to be a crazy War he knew it and he had to be conservative in that fight the energy was so crazy oh my God

94:28it was insane it was so it was it I was so nothing ever right it was so I'm so glad I went to see it live oh man so he me too so I'm a as I as I said I'm a casual fan so there's a couple times where uh Conor knocked him to the ground MH but Conor doesn't want to do ground game with him all right cuz he would he was knock him to the ground and then he was he was he was tell him to come I would think nor my lack not that much you know MMA knowledge I would think once you knock somebody to the ground you try to go in with those Hammer fists or whatever you could you could however if you do that with a guy like Nate Diaz he might not be hurt at all especially when you consider the fact that uh he Conor threw a bunch of like really powerful left leg kicks and he had up Nate's right leg because because of the fact they're both Southpaw what what happens is like that

95:22back leg uh becomes the front leg so the right leg is in front right and he's just getting chewed up with this left power leg kick like right from the beginning like over and over and over and over again when when you get hit with a bunch of like really powerful leg kicks like that it makes it super difficult for you to move right you know and then Connor just fought a smooth smart game plan you know he um he engaged from the outside where his speed was an advantage and did some damage but didn't unload himself like he did in the first fight in the first fight he did that too but then he unloaded himself and Nate survived and when he survived Conor's gas tank was empty so this time Connor was way more conservative yeah I'll see he would run away a little not run but he would run back he run away no you could you could say it he would run away he R he ran away but when he was on

96:10the C when he get close to the cage he'll run it and and make it more into the center man it's okay you know people are mad that he ran away how can you win when you move away because sometimes you you take a break sometimes you take a break he knows there three more minutes in the round he's got he he knows there's I mean I don't know when it was there was there was a couple moments in time where he totally turned away from him but then he engaged yeah he did it wasn't like he was running the whole he was just when he found himself in a compromising position he he would get out of it it's interesting it's an interesting thing to do you guy's trying to kick your ass you're like I'm going to go over here for a minute yeah it's something funny about it you know it seemed like the good move it's the right move when you when you don't feel like you can fight right now what

96:57do you want to do stand in there like a man and take it on the G come on get in there if you don't feel like you can breathe maybe you should move away and breathe otherwise some dude could punch you in the body and you can go down it's like it's not a smart move to stand in there if you feel tired how many fights do you think happen amongst the audience members cuz I way less than you would think I saw this girl she was fighting her boyfriend or something oh I don't even know if it was a boyfriend but she was choking him and she was going crazy he and she had walked away and she came back to him and then uh she was blind and sort of look lightly like Ronda Rousey I posted it on Snapchat Ronda Rousey out here tripping and then uh and then uh and then some MMA Twitter POS apparently Ronda Rousey is at there like no don't you it's not Ronda Rousey wouldn't be running crazy and it's a

98:01video of you don't really see the face but you see security chasing some blind woman that is so stupid like apparently Hannibal spotted Ronda Rousy apparently he's the only one that spotted nobody else took that's hilarious yeah that was so stupid that event was it was had a good time man meanwhile she's like one of the the last women that you would ever want to fight like at a gas station you know like Ronda Rousey she would throw you in your head on the concrete it's ter it's terrifying to have women like that out there they could just beat your ass Hannibal it's terrifying like it when whenever I'm at the UFC and somebody gets kicked in the face I just always I just think about how disappointed I'd be if I got kicked in the face what did I do in my life why somebody kicking me in the face even especially I mean you've never been kicked in the face ever never just been

98:55kicked in the face especially like that's why I'm glad I didn't fight that guy and I'm glad I don't I don't you know put myself in situations where I got to fight a stranger cuz you never know where I'm just if if I was to be fighting I'm trying to throw hands poorly but if somebody just kicked me in the face like oh I didn't I didn't know you were going to do that this Donald Cerrone combination God damn that's beautiful left right left high kick boom yeah and he just turned his back that is Matrix Donald Cerrone lives in the Matrix dude right now at 170 he's coming on the podcast next week Jamie he's here on next Tuesday I'm gonna convince him live on the internet don't drop down from 170 and 170 is a wizard who the hell is stopping Rick's story like this oh man Donald cerrone's a wizard he's a wizard at 170 if it felt it felt kind of barbaric or archaic but when you have money on

99:58somebody and they're beating the out of somebody else and you're winning it's a different type of emotion like when he when Cerrone started that dude up I stood up like wow you were in there with him I was in there I was in there with him for couple thousand dollars hell yeah I was with him I was in it from appreciate your loyalty first of all to both an IT and Donald Cerrone Y and then uh Johnson uh I bet on Johnson right before the fight started I was like how bet on him what were the odds he was minus 250 so that's pretty reasonable considering how hard he hits and he won it so fast so he won it we think it's somebody told me I have to research it please do was that the fastest knockout in the history of the light heavyweight division think close it was 13 seconds or something took me longer to place my bet dude he hits so hard that happened so fast I was like

101:01what he hits so hard it happened so quick when Glover started pressuring him like when I score a fight or rather a commentative fight when I watch something like that I'm like okay what can Glover do and what can Rumble do we know Rumble has awesome standup skills we know he had a college wrestling background we know he's really powerful and he's probably the hardest hitter ever so what can Glover do he's really technical he can survive a storm maybe he could take him down maybe he can get him into deep water so he starts out super aggressive bobing and weave Tyson style and one hay maker one haym maker uppercut so third Ryan jimo third wow seven seconds goddamn Ryan jimo rest in peace Ryan jimo he just died recently run over by a car in Canada oh James Irving the Sandman 8 seconds who did he fight and then Johnson Rumble Johnson that gamble to gamble on that and have it happen that

102:05fast that's like craps almost so they should put like a 30 second over under on some of rumble's fights literally a 30 second cuz he's so scary right now he's so scary he hits guys in a totally different way it's like he know something that nobody knows about how to hit people cuz this dude what was that guy's record that he fought 25 and four Houston Alexander eight seconds that's right what was the guy Johnson FAL record was it 25 and like he was a elite fighter right oh Glover is beyond Elite Glover's fought for the title yeah he he had a five round fight with um Jon Jones went to the distance yeah he's one of the best fighters in the world Glover is excellent and that's crazy that he G got in 13 seconds you know what it is man there's the human frame you know like the skull the brain the neck can only take so much it just can only take so much and most people can't hit that

103:10Bell you know that Bell when you go to the carnival and you slam down on that Bell and the little thing goes up and ding yeah most people can't make that thing ding in this world but Rumble Johnson he can make that thing ding every time with his opening barrage yeah with his uh first you know name the number 200 punches and kicks whatever it is he can knock you the out the question with a guy like that is if he gets past that 200 number and the opponent is still there can he make it through it and that's what happened in the Cormier fight it's like Rumble hit Cormier with everything but the kitchen sink but Cormier is so tough he's so tough from being a worldclass Olympic wrestler from a guy who competed all over the world he's just got this this there like a level of toughness that you can't recreate and he takes a big bomb but figures out how to scramble

104:09and survive yeah and so he makes it into um what what what round did Cormier submit Rumble see the thing about a guy like Rumble though is you could submit him once but once he figures out what you did and he remembers how much it sucked when you did that to him can you do it again and if you can't do it again what if he can figure out how to keep it standing yeah what if he could figure out how to keep hitting you with those barges of heavy bones coming flying at you with perfect technique he hit so hard man what third round well Cormier took him into deep water man what is Cormier is such a bad like where does that come from you know how some people just naturally fast is that is that just are you just naturally able to hit hard as or do you punch walls sometimes practice you can get better but is also a natural sort of this is this is this is the reality of it uh

105:23totally objectively everybody has a ceiling you can't pass that ceiling you see certain uh people that have certain frames like maybe they have really narrow shoulders and really small hands and really small waist they can't generate the same kind of power that a guy like Rumble Johnson can yeah or there's a lot of other guys like a guy like Rampage Jackson can or a guy like George St Pierre can there's there's certain like physiques you know air Latif you ever see that guy fight no pull this up I think he's fighting Ryan Bader I say with all due respect sir he's just tank of a wrestler yeah and you look at that guy's frame and he just bombs on dudes knocks him unconscious but you look at his frame when he's throwing punches and just go okay that's this is like this is there's levels of athletes right there's levels of wrestlers there levels of Strikers and

106:17when you see certain dudes the way they can move their body like you ever watch cir to solle yeah you've seen it live seen it live several times different right craziest it's amazing you feel like how the do they do that with their body right you immediately start feeling inadequate with your body like how do no not me that's what I feel I just I just get I just get inspired by the choreography and I say I need to step my show up oh that's beautiful see me I'm I think I want to figure out how to do a handstand with one hand while holding a check above me with one hand so this is okay tank yeah so he's a light heavyweight or heavyweight light heavyweight two okay so the point being that a gentleman like this only 13 lbs less than me he's I'm a light heavyweight me and him me and him one he weighs 205 for about 13 minutes and then uh he probably goes back up to whatever it is before he

107:07starts his cut but my point being like there's like look at the size of that yeah I mean Jesus Christ look at that dude he's a tank there's there's limitations of the human frame and uh that guy has a different bone structure than Doogie Hower yeah you know there's just no denying it it's or you know that's a bad example but you know there's a lot of guys that are his size that just don't have the kind of advantages that he has bone structure-wise physically like what he can do there's like a certain amount of horsepower that certain guys have and you watch them fight like look at that guy gu it's a tank of a man Brock Lesnar perfect example guys takes off how many years did he take off like five years at least six years at least he fights Mark hunt roids are no roids whatever the he tested positive for or anti-estrogen blockers or whatever he test forget about all that the fact that

107:59this guy was able to fight Mark hunt after five or six years of no fighting just doing pro wrestling and then win that's ins you know I had had a beted in on Mark hunt and you had told me and I didn't know I told you I'm casual I'm casual fan I took Mark hunt but I didn't know anything about him and then uh he walks out and I'm like oh this is built he's built like me so I had I had a cash B in so then I go on in my book on my online book this is before the fight start I'm trying to bet on uh Brock Lesnar real quick oh that's hilarious they already taken the BET down and I was like oh man I didn't bet on this guy that's built like me BR is about to work him out see here's the thing though that's not necessarily true not I know it's not necessarily true but that was my instinct at the time like oh no what Brock Lesnar did in uh taking that amount of time off and then beating

108:58a guy like Mark hunt that's so extraordinary and he's probably never going to get the credit that he deserves because the fact that one he was a pro wrestler and then two he tested positive for this anti-estrogen blocker whatever the he took I don't know what happened who knows it could have been a it could have been easily been some performance enhancing formula that he bought from GNC or it could have been something more Insidious whatever whatever the it was the fact that this guy was able to beat Mark hunt after all those that time off just shows you what an amazing athlete he really is there's no way in hell that certain guys are going to catch up to that guy if that guy just keeps working out like there's guys that like if they just keep working out and they stay healthy and they stay fit and they get into the cage healthy and fit with no injuries which

109:49is like the primary that's like yeah just like you there's certain guys you're like you're in a you're in a world of if you get a guy like Brock Lesnar into the ring with you and he's not hurt and he's in great shape and he has no injuries you're in a world of you're standing in front of a Goliath of a man a guy who has to struggle to diet down to 265 lbs yeah that's not fair dude what about CM Punk is he good or is he making his debut he's making his UFC debut but I have to respect that he did a lot of things the right way he went to uh Duke rufus's camp in uh Minneapolis yeah Milwaukee rather excuse me he go to aluer there's a lot of stuff in Albuquerque yeah there's a lot no no he went to U Milwaukee CU that's where Duke is um what what he did was he went to one of the best gyms in the world uh Rufus sport he dick um his brother um there Rick Rufus who was like a world

110:48champion kickboxer that used to be on PKA Karate and then uh there's Duke Rufus Duke Rufus is a world champion Muay Thai Fighter and he's produced like a ton of worldclass Fighters like Anthony Pettis Sergio Pettis uh Tyron Woodley does his striking down there he's the new UFC welterweight champion so Duke Rufus is just like a really high level camp and that's where CM Punk chose to move his camp and he he lived there for like two years and all he's been doing his training he signed with the UFC and he just said I'm going to do this the right way they went through a full like like a long period of training learning skills and working under theage of like one of the best guys in the world so who the knows what's going to happen we really don't know I mean I have no idea what this guy can do I've I've seen him uh hit some pads I've seen some slow motion weird blurry videos of him

111:38sparring I don't know I mean they might be trying to Shield it for promotional purposes I mean he might have gotten really good he might be like I mean if the guy's willing to do that that's an extraordinary amount of discipline that it takes to move to a place change your life Liv there for two years just nothing but train I mean who the knows but that's the big the big statement is who the knows so if you go to watch him fight it's like you're tuning in for essentially like a spectacle right it might be great and it might I mean we have to see yeah he doesn't even know we don't know he's never fought we don't know no one knows no one knows what the going to happen haven't fought with the people there either that's a different thing too dude there's a big difference there's a big difference between training and reality and you know and maybe he excels there's people who excel

112:26at reality where they they look lackluster in training and then they rise to the occasion of the event yeah and then there's other people that are exact opposite where they practice well and then yeah the anxiety of performance is real right yeah I mean it's just I was when uh it was a point during the uh Diaz McGregor fight where the crowd started chaning like they were in clinch or something and the crowd was DS DS DS and I was just like what is he thinking right now like what is that feel like this dude is in the clinch it's a huge fight Headliners blood streaming down his face what is his let me get my pants off what does he feel like you know with the crowd chanting um like what is that that gladiator like like does it help does it is it distracting do you does it hype you up Dam I'm whoop his ass they chanting I it's just a it's just a you know I just it's a real good question

113:31it's something I'll never I'll never know some hopefully and and and you'll find out on my podcast next week that I'm starting I'll be interviewing uh Nate Diaz and uh man it's a good question he's the only one that can answer it or him or anyone else has experienced that because you're talking about you know at this new t- Bobble what is how how many people is it see I think the T-Mobile is like 22,000 or something oh really is that many it's a big ass place it's way bigger than the uh MGM I don't know about how much at least a few thousand cuz what is it Jamie does say cuz is yeah people are chanting your name oh my God but it's not like basketball cuz you just got you've been punching in the face a lot so you in a little bit of pain you might be Hur kind of tired you know it's not just you you you know just dropped a three up then you just jogging

114:24you in you in the Clint so it's this is cool but I'm still kind of uncomfortable right now maybe it fires you up how many 20 it says 20,000 for boxing and MMA oh beautiful that's so many that's a lot of people so that's a approximately 5,000 more than the MGM isn't the MGM about 15,000 somewhere around there I think is that why they moved them there cuz there's more people or just a different deal I don't know you know I just think they could sell this out too 168 168 oh Jesus the MGM is that big yeah it's a little oh so is it manderlay Bay that's 15 is that what it is or is that 14 what am I asking what am I census taker kind stop answering my questions booking agent what does it hold 12,000 oh man Bay only 12,000 H interesting so uh I guess the reason why they moved is just UFC could sell out those places now especially for this fight this fight was God damn banana

115:25that was amazing you could you could have stuck a light bulb in your mouth and it would have started glowing right there was electricity in the air I was going through our fingertips it was it was crazy man it was a good time that's why I decided to keep uh working for the UFC is moments like that the uh Nate Diaz Conor McGregor fight the first one was one of the in the Misha Tate Holly home fight where yeah Misha choked Holly Hol unconscious in the fifth round it was chaos I remember remember thinking how could I stop doing this how could I I can't believe I even got this job in the first place I I get to watch this crazy and talk about it from so when when they bought it I wasn't sure I just was thinking I was doing too many things yeah and then I decided Well I'm just do instead of just being crazy just do less I'm just going to do less yeah and in doing less it just made a

116:14big difference vape pen use after you have oh man he he just got punched in the face a bunch let him use a vape relax let should be you should let them use it immediately after just let's be scientific about this we all want everybody to be on the same page we don't want people cheating you know if this guy you watched him fight five rounds there's no more contest coming up let him do something that's medically proven to reduce inflammation it's not even marijuana it's CBD oil also those punches are probably way worse for him than CBD oil God oh my God it's CBD oil good for you exactly especially when you have inflamation yeah exactly this should be Nate Diaz got punched in the face before he used CBD o that's a really good point man that is a really good point because for someone to be that hypocritical that you let a guy get punched in the head for 25

117:08minutes but you won't let him smoke a vape pen cuz what you think he's cheating yeah he's cheating death that's what he's doing same thing with football stay alive same thing with football oh he he was smoking marijuana football football is way worse for you than weed is worse for you and probably football is worse you for you than cocaine how you impact football yeah football is probably worse for you than most stuff drinking out of ponds football's dangerous yeah it's super dangerous man but they just try to try to maintain a good image about it but don't smoke weed don't smoke weed hilarious but you might get Hella concussions but don't smoke weed cuz that don't look good for cuz we got to sell this butt light and I love the word hella but I'm too old to use it I just turned 49 that's what the cut off just do it man yo you can do you can say hel you can say Hela you was just

118:04encouraging me to say to tell that girl to ask her what her dreams were Hannibal's a good friend you know you you you pump him up he pumps you up yeah you tell me ask the girl what her dream I really wanted to ask her so bad man she had that Vibe man and I see a lot of bad ones her vibe was crazy and they might not and you know I wish I took the shot yeah I would have helped her with her whatever her dreams if if I had if I could what do you want to do you want to I can I I know somebody like that and you can find somebody if you don't know somebody find somebody you can find somebody I wanted to cuz she would it be hard to find somebody I'mma go you know what I did I did think about I'm I I saw what her name was on the receipt Google her name and uh the restaurant name and see if she got a LinkedIn page damn you went deep LinkedIn how many you supped have a LinkedIn page SS like

118:59super rare but she hey she seems like a waitress with way bigger Ambitions she seemed like she should be in LA or New York actually more than Vegas yeah it's going to be hard because you're going to have to take a gamble at whether or not she's still working there whether or not you know what day her shifts are on Saturday Sunday okay I went back I was there two night I was there two getting really stalkerish but we ain't say no place we didn't say no not stalkerish but I do I did uh enjoy her energy and I you know I would help her I say go back I would help her in a platonic way go back in a Zen way you know yeah yeah like completely empty go back and experience like sitting in her Section MH and uh you know just saying hi yeah seeing what's up but don't don't be like crazy about it I won't be crazy about it just say what's up just say hey uh I need a I need to

119:56have a I've been to Vegas a bunch recently with no shells in Vegas have you been just to I've been to the past two UFC things and then sometimes just another trip just to kick it it's a fun place it's a strange place I was just in um this area outside of Reno it's um we were about 5 hours outside Reno we were camping and uh doing this uh hunting show and uh it's all in like the mountains and the the the desert above Nevada like it's somewhere in the area of where they do that whole Burning Man thing okay dude it was amazing who who I was it it's me and a bunch of uh there's camera people and this guy Steve Rell who host the show the meteor we struck out but we were out there in the these mountains above Nevada dude there's a whole another world out there it doesn't even look real yeah like it doesn't look real you go to this place there's no people there's just giant

120:59mountains they go up to like we were at 9,000 ft there's other ones that go up to 11,000 ft and you're looking at these things like what the this is Nevada this is Nevada these that's a picture from my uh Instagram that's I that's Nevada dude that's the Nevada desert that's the What's called the the high desert like I said about five hours outside of Reno was amazing oh this is uh this is where you were this is the hunting trip no yeah yeah yeah I was there for I was there for a week that's uh that looks crazy I think week of failure I appreciate how that looks and I appreciate how that feels but I think I'm such a city dude where I get to that this is beautiful this is cool let's have a couple drinks and uh check this out all right five how was we good let's go back to the lights I understand I understand your position I appreciate that beauty and I like the

121:59views however but I get antsy but you Zin out and I I could get ansy too I think um what I'm trying to do one of the things I'm trying to do by going to these places and disconnecting for a few days is find out what I really think about things yeah where it's just me and my thoughts and interacting with my friends and uh this is one of the good things about doing this show called meteor this guy Steve ranella who's the host of it is like a really smart really nice guy really interesting Guy and um you know I like hanging out with him and all of his crew and his friends for like all these days it's really fun so in doing that and having it being really fun you get to relax yeah and you get to just like sit back and hang out with these like fun cool guys and just relax and this is your world now this is your tribe right you know and he told me that before that that's that's sort of how he

122:47views it like that's that it's his tribe and like a cool group of friends yeah and now I understand it now it's like it's uh I think that disconnecting for a while like every now and then just take take a few days off just you don't even have to go anywhere but it's it's probably a good idea to to like on purpose take a few days off of anything coming in and just let's see how you feel about things even if I'm out and about at bars or something and my phone dies and and I'm not charging it I find myself having I find like I realize I'm a really strange person when I talk to people when you get when you have to really talk to people for a while and it's not cuz now pretty much a lot of time if you talking to somebody it's you talking about and then it's like let yeah exactly let me check my phone and so it's a break from it's a break from the connection mhm where you

123:43and everybody but if you really I mean sometime I mean on a date or something I don't go into my dude that's a really important point but yeah if my shit's dead and I'm just out for two hours I find if I'm having long conversations and then I start realizing oh I'm a I'm getting kind of weird and intense with this person I'll start asking cuz I I you know normally I will if I'm talking to somebody or woman I'll do the regular questions that we do the where did you go to college you live here or where did you move from how long you been doing that and and then uh and then you I mean at some point if you want to really you got to get beyond that conversation hopefully we're talking ruies right we on the same page what yeah I ruy your girl what are your fears with imagination what are your fears have you ever been hypnotized no it can be done yeah yeah I believe in it I believe it

124:49too I believe in it respect all the hypnotists out there on the road killing it having people on stage doing goofy assit have you ever seen a comedy hypnotist have you seen it live it's crazy right like you don't believe cped to come to my college yeah yeah you don't believe it's real and then you realize oh it is real it really does work it works nobody would just do that goofy ass no it works just to do it it works in some weird way I don't understand it but I got hypnotized this guy Vinnie schorman he's like a mental coach he hypnotized me to do what what was your goal just wanted to see um if there was anything that was holding back the way I was thinking like am I thinking in the most efficient and uh logical way am I doing the most with my time am I not like uh do I have any hiccups that I'm not paying attention to and the way I'm approaching life so I

125:39wanted to talk to him about that so I wanted to see what hypnotism really is because I've been talking about something that I essentially don't have any really real understanding of right I just say oh I saw people get hypnotized at a you know Frank Santos comedy show and I I saw that yeah how' you find him but you know I mean I found this dude he uh he does uh hypnotism and mental coaching for MMA fighters okay so uh it was interesting man it was weird it was like uh when you get hypnotized how long was this session sorry it's about an hour and a half I think about an hour and a half when when you get hypnotized you're aware that this person is talking to you it's not like you're in some space world right but the world that you're living in with your eyes closed in this state is a very different world it's like if this person can command your attention and your focus for a

126:25certain amount of time it lets all this other stuff sort of pass by and when the person does it with no judgment just trying to understand the way you're feeling and thinking you allow yourself to slip in to this strange state of mind yeah and that's what it is it's really weird like it'll wake up immediately like if uh if you heard like an alarm going off like you jump yeah it's not like you're drugged but it's uh I I think there's a bunch of different states of Consciousness leading from the dream world which we all voluntarily go into every night when we go to sleep we go go to sleep we conch out and we have dreams we remember them remember them remember them all the time we we you know you have some wacky idea that came into your head didn't make any sense and I think there's States Of Consciousness from being totally awake fearing for your life cuz you're in the

127:16middle of an earthquake two being like drifting in and out of Dreams yeah you know you're not sure you're there or you're not there and you wait what that real what the happen you know you're sitting in your car maybe at a uh Road stop you got a your six-h hour drive you're like let me just pull over for an hour you're drifting in and out you're not sure if you're asleep you have just sometime I close my eyes and just start seeing weird ass colors and and shapes and not even high yeah but just I'll just close my eyes and then like now it's nothing but certain times it'll just be weird shapes and just different this looks pretty cool well your brain can make all kinds of funky chemicals man and they don't necessarily exactly know why it's not like there's a bunch of different things that you can do to make your brain produce certain chemicals like in a row like as far as

128:11like uh you know like maybe you can like you skip rope for 20 minutes and uh do 50 deep breathing exercises and you'll get into a like a psychedelic State no one's exactly sure like what what the it is that allows people to get to certain States and whether or not like the way your brain works is the same as my brain you know it doesn't make any sense why would it be like we all know like I hear people sing I can't sing at all I hear people sing and I hear like a a beautiful voice like we were we were walking by some people the other night in Vegas when we were on our way to go eat after the fights and then there was this guy and this girl they were singing they must have been a part of some team or something like that they might have must have been some entertainers cuz they were way too good and they were singing and they were singing with each other and they were

128:56singing with each other in Harmony in this hallway and everybody was like holy cuz they just had a sound like they made this thing exactly that appealed to everybody that's not that's not my wheelhouse yeah but my my brain is super sensitive to when sounds are off and different sometimes that you go uh if you go to karaoke spot somebody doing karaoke and if they pick the rock songs and the pop songs would sort of be the exact beats the hip-hop songs the Beats will have this it's a different version of it or it just and it drives me crazy it's certain things with music like little shifts in music that drive me crazy like I hate when songs are uh I don't like when there's acoustic versions of gangster rap songs oo that makes that drives me crazy sonically it's certain just musical things that just piss me it just and and not in a not in a just like it's just

130:15like like that type of thing where I'm like I have to relax leave here yesterday my Uber driver from the airport which is I he was playing his own mixtape he didn't say he was playing his own mixtape but I could feel that he was playing his own mixtape cuz he played the same music for 40 minutes oh my God uh the rapper name be began with K his name again with K on the Uber and it was bad it was really bad his the Beats was all right but he was bad he had no Charisma on the mic and it was just and so now I'm sitting here and and I just decided I I'mma take this I'm just take it just take how angry this is making me because I don't want to give him the conversation cuz he wants me to be a he wants me to say who's this like that's me right oh man you're really talented how long you been rapping Let's Pretend let's pretend I me me and him um how long you been rapping man oh I just

131:16been doing it uh you know just few years man trying to get it going so do you do you uh do you play this in the car all the time just listen to yourself all the time yeah all all the time man just you know especially my favorite is when it's uh 40 minute rides with somebody that just got through traveling for a while yeah dude how loud you playing this I play it man I play it pretty loud like you know what the loudest is just just a little bit less loud than that that's how I play it I feel you dude it's your car yeah man it's just them right you know it was one song the hook was uh oh don't do it I's know you're talking about him what I say he said all black BMW all black BMW is the hook all black BMW some that was the word in the hook it's not the melody necessar cuz I didn't us any Melody but uh we went an all black BMW oh interesting no Uber bars in there maybe if he changes cars

132:15lyrics no lyrics about but it was just I was just sitting like what also I get that it's LA and I get that people are looking for opportunity and trying to make it how about you play me what you think your best one or two songs is oh wait a minute you going say one or two one or two you're going to be involved in a serious conversation but this is a song that I made right after my Grandmom's died no it's like you know I was hanging out and I was like this life I wrote this song not me asking I don't want the back story but I feel like that should be if that's what if that's two songs if that was me that would be my perspective on a 40-minute ride hey let me ask you this what if a guy plays you these two songs and they're awesome and you're like holy this is really good yeah then what you do what do I do yeah I maybe say uh in the car in the moment am might tweet it out like this

133:20dude Uber Drive ass some dope ass Music Plus again uh and and try to push that if it's amazing and I and I genuinely feel it and if it's something I want to hear again like cuz that's the homework of a great song for me if I'm I got to keep listening to this over though right Frank oan just dropped the the new he dropped his new album finally there a song solo on there and it's just a simple Oregon plan he's just he's singing sort of sing rapping and it's a bunch of good songs on the album but I can leave that on like I I I'll listen to a song yeah 15 times in a row isn't that interesting yeah it's not a lot of things like that like movies definitely aren't like that uh comedy definitely isn't like that no but there's something about songs where some stuff with comedy though some stuff with comedy with me certain timing moves that people do certain bits I will

134:17rewind a moment people my ex-girlfriend she might she tolerated but she probably hated it it'll be certain things like a quick a weird thing in a show and I would just bring that back I would bring that I would rewind that yeah 10 times well that's what dice Clay's career was kind of built on said people wanted to hear the same things over and over again what's in the bow oh the whole audience would be screaming it it was like one of the first times where it was affirmed right but this type of I want is not I rewind I would rewind a facial expression like a cut to and somebody make a weird and if it's right if it's well directed and well I wear that type of just a weird line it was stuff off of uh Maria banford show lady Dynamite moments off of that it was this moment where they broke the fourth wall with uh Pat oswal talking to her about uh doing standup on the show he was playing a

135:19character then he broke and then and that moment was so crazy like that well I'll just it's certain lines BoJack Horseman has a bunch of where I'll just I would watch the same moment 15 20 times just cuz I just think that little part it's funny and the same with rap song it's certain rap songs where there'll be just 20 second 30 second piece yeah with the dude is just wrapping his ass off and I I'll just I'll listen to that for f 10 minutes straight just like that part I still I still like the whole song but it's a part of it yeah the drop like the drop on Father Stretch My Hands by Kanye West uh the the buildup to that is it's this you know he sampled this gospel song with the same title father stretch my hands and then it's the sample by Future where like well if young Metro don't trust you and it drops in that's what I walk in like it's a crazy and I just listen listen to that

136:21if I'm driving around I'll just listen to that first part like five times and is just certain I just like I know I don't know is that like a a normal no it's a normal thing Hunter Thompson used to do that when he used to write he used to listen to the same song like Candle in the Wind he listen to like Elden John Candle in the Wind there's a video of him doing that he's sitting in front of the typewriter and he's just writing and the same songs playing over and over again on a loop I've tried it before too yeah I flew from New York to LA writing the entire way listen in a crazy train by o Aussie Osborne came up with a lot of good well I was just I don't know I was like in a Groove you know I don't remember what I came up with but I remember feeling like because this song I knew what the lyrics were it almost became like a sort of hypnosis the same lyric 5

137:05hours of the same lyrics over and over and over and overs the whole five hours I just listened to Crazy Train and I typed uh had some coffee took a leak which I got to do right now bad this is my second podcast in a row I want to keep going with you but I got to piss so bad ask some questions hanal be right back I'm just going to freestyle rap hey you know what it deal no I'm just kidding nobody wants that am I here Live Now by myself I can do anything I want holy uh you see how my voice change when this when he leave when he leave it becomes the real me we're here live on The Joe Rogan Experience you know what it is we got bottle water we got Jameson we got a goddamn clock we got a old Tupac figurine we got a bigy figurine in that lady and we yeah I'm going on tour everybody on the Hannibal montable experience I'm coming towards your city unless your city is Oklahoma

138:02City uh it's not on there but I'll come there I was there I've been there before it's has been good how long have we been talking been talking a long ass time two hours deep two hours deep so check me out on tour Hannibal montable experience come through cuz if you don't come through it's going to be embarrassing for me and my family also I uh bought a building and the mortgage is uh is crazy I'm kidding I bought it cash don't worry about me so uh yeah check me out on tour I hope you all having a good time this is weird man because it feels live I feel so uh connected but disconnected right now cuz these cameras alive Joe's back Joe I think I oh it got weird man I J gets weird he'll get weird he didn't get weird Jamie was very you get weird I got weird my voice changed so bad two podcasts is just no buo my voice changed I I just got liver it was no it totally CH top 40 DJ no that's I was

139:14like what's up y'all it's Hannibal you know what it is it was just it was weird man my whole personality changed just cuz you left I was like oh part of me takes that as a compliment that you're so comfortable you could be yourself when you hear yeah it was just it was more I just I I don't even know I don't know that yeah just I just got hyped up I didn't say anything of substance either welcome I could have given 300 of my 800 podcasts I could have uh 800 is a lot that's a lot more than I think it's like what is this one this is 836 I could have given some good advice I could have just you know talked about my mistakes instead I just plug tour dates dude that's a good move that's the right move plug tour dates people need to see you anyway and it's uh Hannibal montable the Hannibal montable experience and if they just Google Hannibal montal go on my go on my

140:10Twitter go on Facebook uh new Instagram thing where you could take like a video of your day you do all stories I'm not at I got to get a young person around me all the time I can do it but I don't want to I don't want to do that I get the value of doing that understand but I don't want to it's the same for for the same reason different uh different different thing that I didn't get Pokemon go oh yeah good cuz it sounded it sounds fun and one A friend of mine she had it on her phone and I mess this is fun but I don't want to be on my phone that much so I just got to have a some internet Savvy 20 5-year-old around me all the time Mr bird how big should her tits be I said oh I just said the internet Savvy 25 year old no I would make it a uh what if she was so hot and you like we could work this out so hot n little ridiculous cartoon tiny waist and no an ass like a box of chocolates them

141:15heart-shaped Valentine's Day box of chocolates like what kind of an ass is that Jesus chist Fair describing you're describing someone I hung out with recently and she's cool she's like Hannibal she's like Hannibal I don't give a baby I don't give a I'm not here for a long time I'm here for a good time and you're like let's do this what are you talking about this you talking about my employee long time good time n you got to keep it yeah plutonic pluton you got to keep it all work oriented some work oriented it's tense sometimes professional yeah well it's weird see the idea of people working alongside each other day in day out men and women all group together in these boxes is entirely unnatural when people would be around each other in the wild they would do it because they liked each other you're obsessed with the wild I am I'm completely back in this day that I never

142:10lived in yeah my obsession is in the genetic propensity that we have inherited from these people and I think that in the wild men and women never like grouped up together if they didn't like each other right but in work they do and it creates this weird tension where men are trying to prove themselves and women are trying to prove themselves there was no Groupon back then it's all about group yeah it's Groupon Now man and you you you you didn't get lucky back then like back then you just decided you're going to hang out with certain people and the other ones you killed yeah right yeah back then yeah it was no waiting it out no no how many times I just waited it out late night and just hung out the bar then something got popping it was none of that it was just either she liked you cuz you were just strong and you brought food and killed it or you didn't she didn't like

143:00you at all you developed the first catapult figure out how to launch a rock towards the enemy or you a small dude that she didn't pay attention to and then out of nowhere out of an act of jealousy and stepping up you killed the big dude and then she was like he is small but I guess he's the alpha now climbed down top of his neck and took out a conch shell yeah exactly now you just found something you good at over the cliffs the people in the boats they lit their torches up you find something you good at and you work hard and you get women from there there trickshot pool players that get Hella damn that should be another meme it's trickshot pool players that get Hella there's a world for everybody man oh there is for sure well there was always like uh pool player groupies that would uh girls who were really good at pool that would date dudes that were really good at pool yeah yeah hook up

144:01with dudes that were really good good at pool they think we would translate no it's not even that man he put the ball in that hole then he could put his balls in wait I don't want his balls in here Ball talkg by hanal I think uh that's what my podcast is going to be call ball talk by Hannah ball I like it I am starting a podcast soon are you for real yeah can I be on it of course it's going to be a road podcast and we'll see if it continues let's do a gig together let's do a gig together yeah please I need I need the help on this tour let's do a gig together tell me when man let's let's find one I'll hop in start let's start with Kalamazoo Michigan holy listen man I would be very happy to do a gig with you love we have a lot of time a lot of good times yeah you know man it's a one of the crazy things about The Comedy Store is that we all get to hang out together yeah where we never would

144:56really work together that much in real life like if you go on the road you take a dude with you to open you know everywhere we go we take people with us to open or we have a local guy that we know we have come on we never get to be all together right but you can go to The Comedy Store any night and be like you and Diaz and Burr and Ari and it's there's no no place like that man it's fun man I love watching Rose battle at comedy store it's the greatest thing ever I love it's just uh the energy in that room little ass belly room hun some people is packed in there yeah they got to keep it in that room too yeah fight it off just fight it off no matter what they say about that main room don't go in there that's not the place it's not it's not the place for I mean I I went to the TV tape in in uh Montreal oh you got some feelings about it how' you feel about it how'd you feel

145:46about it I felt good about it I enjoy I mean I enjoy I'm also biased in a different because I I've seen it I think my first time there was maybe two years ago right close to that in the belly room so and and and I've seen even within the belly room different things they've done to the show in that just different things with the DJ with the wave with the with uh with the racist over there and and tweaks that they've made in there to make the show work and so to see something that you've been to a bunch of times in this small space and then see it you know be in the be in the same spot watching it live it's it's cool to see something like that to see that type of progression it it felt it felt amazing man just I changed my mind I like it better now I think they should do Madison Square Garden but yeah the space always has to be to be right and it's uh it's uh uh it's different

146:52that was like a motivational speech for expanding your theater size yeah it was really strong it was it is so it it was just it was cool to see that and and it was yeah I I don't think I've had to I've seen that with uh comedians or friends of mine that type of progression from you know open mic to to Middle act to Future act to somebody you know being on shows and being famous but I never saw that with I can't think if I saw that with a show concept maybe I have coule but just something I attended regularly to see it go from a live show and go there a bunch and enjoy it as a live show and then you know have it be live on Comedy Central that was something cool I enjoyed watching that and I I was really happy for them yeah no I I completely agree all jokes aside I mean I think uh what they've managed to do by getting that show in the air is pretty Monumental cuz

147:50is a goddamn brutal show right yeah what's the do they have a web page Pull up The Comedy Central webs they have a web page for that show are they going to do a bunch of them I think they're gonna do it again it's cc.com can we see it yeah can I see what the page looks like Who's the champion Mike Lawrence marike Lawrence you know Mike um yeah I've known him from the store I've seen him around he's great he's super funny s great writer I think they have all four episodes up for free you don't even have to have scroll down a little bit go in and have the had a bracket yeah now how many different hosts are they going to have what are they going to do for the host is always is Jeff rosson and uh Moses yeah Brian Moses Brian Moses who is awesome yeah by the way Brian Moses I'm so happy for that dude he's such a good dude so they're not going to with it so it's going

148:42to basically be in the same state that it's always been in except for the racist they can't have the racist the racist see here's my only feeling this is my only feeling I don't have a problem with them doing I don't have a problem with anything but I wouldn't suggest them filming those shows I would suggest them doing those shows and filming the belly room shows there is a there's a world in that room when when someone's killing like when Earl skel came out for that roast battle thing and just destroyed remember that night he came out with a fur coat on we did you see that on Comedy Central dude they filmed it and it was it was magic because there's 90 people in there and they're smushed like SC sardines it's packed it's a vibe in there you you everything has to be in line when you're killing you know there's like a there's a frequency you have to hit and Earl was

149:31just on that frequency yeah and when you see someone do something like that in a small room you realize that's the value of the small room yeah when a small room here's that yeah yeah yeah yes this is a video of those guys but when when you're in a small there's Earl when you're in a small room like that and you just let it all h hang out there's a weird energy to that there's a weird connection to that it's different than anything else and it's way different than a big place like a big place is nice it's beautiful to be there it's cool to be a part of like 10,000 people came to see roast battle yay but the best show is that 90 seat belly room or 80 seat whatever the it is fire codes one of the best jokes I ever heard there I wish I could remember this comedian's name but it sound you know you ever hear a joke that's new that sounds like it's from the 50s or 60s like just in

150:30structure and and brevity right this uh this guy he says to this girl he says she's in an on and off relationship with a boyfriend is on when he sees her body off when he sees her face oh I'm like did you cuz I'm like that sound like this the way it sound like you heard it before but you didn't I hav heard it before no I never heard it before but it sound sure that sound like that sound like some old your uncle would say but we never that was a I mean I've heard many great jokes there but that one just stuck in my they just found the eighth ever Tyrannosaurus Rex skull in Montana that's right up there with that it's like people find sometimes like why has no one found this skull they just didn't okay no one saw that combination of words that's perfect uh meanwhile there's some dude right now in the midwest screaming that's my bit that's my bit that's my bit

151:32going crazy somebody might have come up with that and we don't even know we just never heard it they might be an open micer they might have come up with it three solid weeks ago yeah they might have put it on YouTube we we might be yeah these days man I saw a bunch of Ryan locky jokes dude's name they're like the same joke over and over and over again it's oh onter him getting robbed yeah about uh and him lying yeah yeah yeah like now would be a good time to Rob him like I saw that like for like everybody everybody would think that did anybody do jokes about getting his sponsorships endorsement deals that seemed like easy they all get dropped they all get dropped they dropped a bunch of them today and so part of me like he one for a a body hair removal one wait a minute okay so they looking for people so shout out to Speedo Speedo first of all Speedo hey everybody that wants to wear your

152:28isn't in great shape so how about you look at me Hannibal burs that's a good point successful Samsung representative also got some other stuff coming up that's right a lot of things Happ pitchman irons in the fire I have a horrible lifestyle horrible Health but great skin I look great on camera good smile speed up people like me I look people in the eyes when I talk to them I shake their hands and I always look in the eyes when I do shots two words neon orange Speedos Speedos who else did Ryan locky lose anybody else did Ryan locky also first of all I've been to Brazil never had a problem first of all he shouldn't have lied about that it would seem like something he didn't need to lie about duh also swimmers being celebrated like that U I like it that they're celebrated cuz I wish like walkers celebrated I wish we could figure out what is walking who can walk the fastest who's the

153:24fastest Walker who can let's celebrate it all stay alive swimming we could have a holder breather Olympics where people hold their breath the longest let's do that too dud I I like it swimming it's too many strokes let's throw rocks it's too many strokes the furthest Rock The Strokes I respect I respect this whatever this is the regular I respect this what is the regular I don't even know what it's called regular but when you get into this the freestyle when you get into this I can't with this okay for the people that are just listening regular is you're throwing your arms over the head like you see in the pool but when you're doing your shoulders with the goofy and swimming like that the the fly stroke the breast stroke get out of here with your breast stroke nobody cares that is Michael Phelps got 22 gold medals yeah but a bunch of them for for swimming like a goofy

154:14that nobody swims like get out of here he's not the greatest Olympian he swims and War damn that's a good point that here's what the good point someone themselves how many times you got to swim away from danger one of the Walkers themselves how often do you have to swim away from danger you might save a couple lives You Say Bo he going to save some lives he can run fast I ran in there I got her I got out or somebody's attacking him I'm out of here I'm us say but but you you usually not around water like that to get away from danger H Point well here's the point like why too many strokes limit the way you move like if you're going to swim like why do you have to swim a very specific way if this breast stroke thing was so good wouldn't it be the fastest way to do this why we let's let's pretend Let's Pretend This is the only shitty way we know how to swim let's just

155:06throw our arms in front of ourselves like we're parting the curtains like those beads at the porno section of the video store before there were DVRs and and DVDs and you porn those days if they going to have the breast stroke if they going to have this stroke if they going to have this then why not just have a Olympic competition where you just run but you high kneeing the whole time it's a very good point High KNE let's have backwards running if you got the backstroke why is there no backwards running in the Olympics from now on we should call that that move the porn section that is you parting the beads that are hanging I bet when they when when video games went under or excuse me uh videos video rentals went under I bet the bead industry dropped substantially I bet a big part of their profits was beating off the porn sections I'm dating myself here but you

155:59you guys don't even understand you guys are both youngans when I was a boy when I was a boy you you could rent videos and you could rent porn videos that's got I got to go to the bathroom can you can you yell drunken Le for me for one minute drunken Le oh got it when I was a kid hand burus can't handle this bladder I guess I hung in there folks I did my best but Louis THU you doing that podcast with him for 3 hours and then I had some water like an in between couldn't hang in there folks I'm so sorry what were we just talking about Jamie were you paying attention yeah what uh what lost it oh God damn it Jamie Olympics Olympics swimming s well limiting your movements is ridiculous like the idea that someone's going to say okay you can swim but you can't swim at your best swim in some goofy way that's not efficient go ahead try that because if somebody could just do

156:59breaststroke only versus a freestyle swimmer they would never win right yeah no way right there why most Olympic events are events that we're looking at anyway I'm confused at well I'm a super big fan of curling so I'm going to tell you to off right now you ever watch that like Han you ever see curling years ago and everyone else got excited about it winter the Winter Olympic sport I was in uh I think it was New Finland New Foundland New Finland for a gig yeah yeah great time nice people when long time ago never going back you don't play N I go back I would go you play new recently I would totally do it I would totally do it oh why haven't you done it I like to do weird sh it's there it's been there there only a certain amount of days you haven't asked your agent are filled up very quickly with Metropolis areas well haven't you been an ambassador for UFC Newland point being I

157:51tried erroneously to make fun of curling while I was in Newland cuz the the stage the hallways of the place we were at had all these photos of people curling so the dude with the broom and the dude with the hockey the giant steroid it out hockey puck they're sliding across the ground it's so goofy so you try to run as meaning that I tried joking around about it and they're they were not with it oh come on oh they loved it they love their curling so yeah I don't understand it but I guess I don't have to you don't have to they like it they like it also it's Newland and we should go to new after a while you watch it for like an hour or so you kind of get compelled like who the going to win this thing yeah stupid let's book a gig baseball let's do it let's do Newland okay I'm in but you know you're black right listen man just kidding it's Canada are they the nicest people on the Earth

158:51or is it like Swedish people have you ever in Sweden it's not they're not the nicest people on earth I think it's like the same way sometimes sometimes it's southern hospitality and then sometimes it's Southern passive aggressiveness and they just talk horribly behind your back right and that's like um well I was talking about this with somebody recently that like try to imagine the fact that 1865 when slavery was abolished was less than 200 years ago trying to imagine what 200 years is cuz it's only two lifetimes yeah two people being alive from birth to death that's 200 years so these people are very healthy people yeah very healthy very lucky people I mean so they're stuck in this probably not slaves right to Slaves aren't living to be hundreds conditions aren't that exactly right you don't have access to the to anything to down of the the glutenfree or the you don't have

159:48the SL slaves aren't getting the fresh press juice so that you know let's let's cut it to maybe 60 70 years for slaves yeah if you you're super lucky and that is only a short amount of time ago and no one understands that today there's no we we we can intellectualize it we can think about it we can put it into our heads and try to figure it out no one can figure that out today and those there's a lot of those areas of the the country that are just poisoned by those old stupid ideas they're just stuck in there man yeah in areas of the world there's a lot of weird areas of the world that are just poisoned by old stupid ideas I um I think we should do Newland yes I think we should shake that sh and Joe Rogan new Newland G let do it let's do another one somewhere else like Saskatchewan Saskatchewan I what did I mean scatch one in January want to get crazy I met uh I met some can I was in

160:48when I was in Minneapolis and they you need I think they might have been from Saskatchewan and they like you need to cuz they work for it was some tourism convention or something you need to come to saskatch one did you do Edmonton I've done I think I done I'm either doing Edmonton or Calgary on this tour dude the river cre in Edmonton the casino that is fantastic that is fun man that's a fun place I like Edmonton man they're good people they're just stuck in some weird spot that's like really cold for like four months of the year but it's all oil money right it's the oil money so you got these these people no sometimes no they just come out of high school and make six figures yeah well they're they're Canadian too there's something about Canadians like their culture does not um support this like uh the world domination idea that United States sort of has ingrained in

161:44us like we're the police of the world for good or for bad right that's a lot of people think that way mostly bad yeah right but the Canadians don't have this they're not just trying to create a good life for yeah yeah they're just people and uh there's a real value in that but there's also like this idea that the only way Canada would exist is if the United States is below it right protecting it because this is we're such a gangster country yeah right so that that's the idea that I think makes total sense if you looking at it objectively but godamn it makes for some nice folks cuz Canada they're they're like I think maybe alltime favorite people anywhere I think they're the nicest people I like doing shows that I was drawing numbers in Canada like at good spots at in 300 400 seat spots easily before I was doing it over here that makes sense and vanc I I

162:38remember doing shows in Vancouver like 2011 and Toronto played the Horseshoe in 2011 and then coming through first time just what like light credits and then getting there holy they they coming to with me here I I couldn't you know when you first start doing the you start hitting some spots and what the I got people here yeah and that's what Canada was when I started getting office I was thinking what is it wasn't big money but it was just to have that it was Vancouver I I forget the promoter's name but I played maybe the Rick or something and Horseshoe Tavern in Toronto year 5 years ago and just being shocked that there was that many people that it was psych it was it was it was just it was it happened earlier over there man you know what you got to do in toron next time you're there you got to do the weed chop what's that weed chop oh they have a

163:39show have a show there right they have a front room where they sell bongs and like rolling papers and and then you go in the back room and the back room doesn't have any air it's all just Pott smoke you're breathing in pot smoke there's no air there's no air left the the the the candles just candles on the table they're all running on pot smoke and Promises there's no air in that room man it's all just pot smoke and you you get high before you go on stage and then you go on stage and then it's Preposterous everybody is in a goddamn coma it is the strangest comedy show you've ever done nobody wants that from me this is what you need do your regular show first yeah and then head over to that place around 12:30 a.m. you know what I'm into cuz I do I I like THC capsules me too and if it cuz they mellow me cuz I get I get so weird and in my head sometimes where I

164:35can't unless I'm on unless I'm a little drunk or a little on something else I'm not able to enjoy myself High a lot especially if I'm in a situation where I'm recognizable when people recogn if I'm high on wheat and people recognize me you get weirded out I get weirded the out that's understandable blows my I like what am I doing what is life what did I choose what what's going on what who these people why they talking to me why did I do this what did I do this do I need I just get if I'm high I'm have a it's I just can't handle it dude we need to hang out more for sure definitely but need c capsules I'm going to hold your hand figuratively T capsules I took I I went to this uh dispensary shout out to native roots in Denver and uh I'm smooth on that also maybe I think I think maybe my the way I smoke I shouldn't be out and about my smoking is should it should be

165:41just chilling watching some playing some video games but my weed smoking never is never for if if I can't create a situation where nobody can talk to me then that's how I need to be hot or the capsule the capsules I can talk to a capsule smooth me out and I I started taking those I this is is this is great and I feel good and I feel I I can do stand up on them I can't smoke weed and do standup but I can take a capso and be St H um do you know the difference between eating it and smoking it slightly but I'm ready for this explanation there's a chemical difference like uh smoke it it's THC you eat it that uh with the compound of the marijuana is processed by your liver produces something called Le hydroxy metabolite okay it's way more psychoactive it's like four to five times more psychoactive than THC so you're talking about the capsules no I'm talking about anytime you eat it eat it

166:42I don't do I don't like EDI but if you're taking a caps sole you're eating it you know what I'm saying but it doesn't it doesn't matter it's like if if it goes through your digestive tract and it's processed by your liver takes a little bit about an hour or so depending upon the dosage and how strong it is yeah and you know whether you have a full stomach I guess probably probably has something to do with it but when it's processed by your liver it produces this weird psycho psychedelic drug it's very different than just regular pot well I gu the I don't know for some reason the capsules I feel way smoother on them than just smoking somebody's joint do you know how many milligrams are in those capsules I think is is 10 oh that's good that's a really reasonable dose yeah and that's the good news about uh marijuana like medical marijuana going Nationwide is you can

167:30take a reasonable dose like 10 milligrams and it's therapeutic for your body feels good you relax nobody gets hurt also you have somebody explaining to you what what it that's what I I mean I wish I bought way more in Denver and also if you can just mail me I'll send you money you want dud we'll hook you up sh relax don't say anymore they you're going to get catfished by a cop right Catfish by a cop yeah they're going to they're going to hey dude bro I've always wanted to H you're going to be fake cops bro deep in your like this dude's weirdo be girl it's going to be a girl girl tiny was waist like my wrist yeah they don't like to do stuff for people ass like an explosion giving people they not thoughtful they just want to they not thoughtful maybe maybe it's good point it's good point it's hard I have a friend usually thoughtful women aren't classically

168:24beautiful wow I can't believe you say that wa no no no no that really hurts not no not a a one online thinking about my mom right now online as far as somebody's going to reach out to you then that like the motto is not going to reach out to you hey what do you need and do you need something a model chick reach out and say hey you want to hang out but nobody going reach out like a model chick is not reaching out like hey I got this for you one thumb in the two fingers in the gripping like a bowling ball no but a mod yeah they're not going to say hey you need this when you when you they want to hang out right they not going to say hey you need uh restaurant recommendations it's a good point you know they used to all the attention anyway so they just saying oh they yeah it's a good point yeah they just they want to test the waters and Hannibal burus ain't playing games ladies okay

169:17unless you're ready to go to a Defcon 4 you ready I got high I got high standards me too what I think I want kids man do you what age when you have your third or fourth hotel I think I want kids in three years two two three years years that's a good move I saw this pregnant woman on the L train in New York and but she was one she was one of those where she didn't she just looked like her stomach was bigger and nothing else affect like perfect makeup just dressed nice in a nice dress she didn't have a wedding ring on I wanted to I just wanted to ask her if everything was okay if she was with the dude like she was so beautiful I kept looking at her I know she felt me looking at her I probably weired her out she was so beautiful I started picturing myself arguing with the real father five years from now I started picturing myself on the train holding hands over there I started

170:34picturing myself 5 years from now at yelling at this dude outside the house in Jersey hey dude you had your chance yeah like you're calcul you're you're just a sperm Downer you're looking at her beautiful face I'm the real do I'm the real dad you're calculating the potential for future Joy being with that person with perfect bone structure you willing to take a chance and put your whole life into a Qui I was just there and just like oh my God look at it was are you okay huh hey baby are you okay that's what I was saying are you okay what would you say I'm her here go ahead I'm looking down I'm just shaking my head I'm just like every now and then I just go like this with my hands she's on you on the train I'm on the train hey look good though dude I know I look good see this is the thing I wouldn't just I wouldn't uh even if you if train on a train on the train if I don't have anything

171:28organic like I wish I something crazy happened oh dude I'm not asking for real life this isn't Law and Order I know this is like come on all right okay I'm the girl ready girl sorry I just accidentally put my face in your uh oh whose baby is that in there is he in the baby's life do you PR a long life with him hi I'm financially stable not quite emotionally but I'm getting there and on that note ladies and gentlemen this podcast is a wrap Hannibal montal tour go to Hannibal buris on Twitter Hannibal burst.com Hannibal b.com yeah check me out on tour Hannibal Montana B experience come through check me out I'll be on the road and we're going to do a g together in New Finland we're going to make this happen we're going to make this happen all right fol thank you so much thank you so much that was a lot of fun man that was a lot of fun