Ari Shaffir

00:03it's always hard to stop a conversation and then restart it in a natural way after you smoked pot at 10:00 in the morning on a Monday it's just one of those things right it's a lot of bips yeah it's there's too much going on yeah we can't be asked to start and stop a conversation that was pretty smooth it was just like Hey we're going okay go yeah there's the pauses are weird man yeah like and start the show it's weird where you got to listen to a whole theme song and then you're like got to wait and then like how long it go that was the wrong way to do it we we made a few mistakes the big one was um oh is that me oops I haven't done that in a long time I thought I had this closed I swear to God I did how come the Apple thing when you hit your Apple TV makes presses play on your iTunes on your computer does it yeah all the time you're like no stop that one

00:59just that one oh no I didn't know oh no it hits them both so if you have Apple TV and the computer open at the same time so if you're watching on TV and you're you have your computer or if you have a quick time file on this desktop or just play that oh wow how annoying yeah I blockers for the sensor even when it's closed it still still it up dude my phone started making my computer ring the other day your computer ring yeah we were in here and my computer was ringing I was like what kind of dog yeah I'm sure they're not watching us I'm sure they're not watching us yeah yeah I'm I'm sure it's totally not interconnected and they already look at everything we do come on come on they're up we don't even notice it I know it's pretty how is it making your computer ring dude my phone made my computer ring they're connected in some way some new update some new update made

01:56my my phone made my computer ring like what what are we doing here those upat change your life we are just giving into the Borg why don't we just admit it yeah why don't we admit it who's going to be the first one to get their legs cut off for some new bionic legs that make you jump over buildings yeah like bro you going to get to keep your and balls legs chopped off for what can have fake legs bro these legs never get tired man AR you tired of walking all the time you get your and balls though right do you keep your and balls bro important part do you want to keep these stupid meat vehicles or do you want to get the cyber 2000 cyber 2000 two-legged system it's amazing man it doesn't even feel if you totally feel like your own legs but they never get tired dude you wouldn't even need you would only need head and yeah you could replace everything else I wonder here's the

02:46question if you could live with everything else being fake yes everything fingertips um maybe one hand I'd like to keep one hand yeah one hand and and face here's the thing if if if people are smart enough to start manipulating bodies like that yeah do you think they're going to keep the same shape that we have now oh why not just go around like the R2-D2 from the new Star Wars I don't think that's beneficial I was thinking some will try it would there be a better design than this bipedal homed form that we use yeah like would we get to a point where like aesthetically like we started changing things on people you know yeah like have like chainsaw hands well I was thinking like Minotaur bodies all right you know like you know how much of you want to be a person how many legs you want you could run a lot faster on four legs what if it was so the first guy to have four legs and everybody's

03:43like whoa and for no reason doesn't make any sense but girls are like that's hot you have to get lucky that's just some some freak DNA thing that pops in a female's head when they see a man with four legs and they just can't help themselves like oh my God if guys like I just did this to get faster but this is nice he has two asses you know dude if I if I got a Minotaur I would hire all like the viral companies and the and the pr firms I'm like get it out there where it's an attractive thing make it part of the Ze guys that everyone says oh yeah yeah that's hot more legs is hotter hire hire like Leonard DiCaprio to say it that could totally be done yeah you know there's going to You' seen some of the crazy things that people are doing with their body these days someone definitely want something different one wheel one wheel dude there's so many like weird body modifications today

04:37right I was jealous when those shoes the wheels came out of the bottom of the shoes for kids they never made it for adult sizes and I was pissed about that course I can make feet with wheels on it you should start a company adult license the product yeah yeah yeah that's a good idea actually there'd be so much yeah why is it no fun to do it as an adult I don't understand the problem you're not you straight away you can't you're not supposed to be enjoying yourself Harry you're you're a grownup supposed to uh a little more mature not supposed to be Wheeling around the mall like an what is that Wheeling thing man I would love it but you got to stand in your back your back feet seems like an awkward way to stand it's probably bad for old people they pop in back wise you like back a lot of strain on on that back like that she Tyson wiping out on that uh on

05:31that yeahp that those dude those things the first time I got on one I can do one now but the first time I got on one it was at The Comedy Store yeah and um this dude who's a comic what is his name Jamie you know that dude's name you know what I'm talking about right Ben Kingsley I don't know might have been I forgot his name okay nice guy anyway he uh he has a white one he was tooling around the parking lot with Tate and I go how how hard is it to do and he goes try it I I got on I couldn't imagine doing it I got on it and I was like there's no way I'll ever get good at this like this is insane like what is it just two wheels and a bit to it's essentially it's some form of a gyroscope yeah and it's like those scooter things that they have the mall what are those things called again Segways Segways oh those segue things have you ever ridden one of those no

06:20really fun Kevin James had one on the set of that Zookeeper movie yeah he actually had a couple of them and he would Zing around the parking them dude they are fun they're really cool but when they run out of batteries you go flying really don't have the stopper uper dude the battery just breaks if the battery runs out of juice you go down hard son you go cuz it's the only reason why it's keeping you up like you're not doing that yourself like it's a gyroscope like it's it's counterbalancing you as you move yeah it allows you to be way stable oh you could definitely fall you definitely can fall but it's really easy to ride like you don't I hope I'm saying gyroscope properly or explaining the physics behind I have no idea what a gyroscope is to be hounting scooter is what they call them yeah would you say that it's run like a gyroscope is that am I making things

07:10what's a gyroscope the thing that you get to the air and space museum you pull the string spin the thing that's keeping balance to like how steady something is how upright it is I pull can you pull up the definition of gyroscope just so I don't feel like an idiot I just want to know if that's what it is cuz I've always been saying that but now that I'm I'm I'm thinking while I'm saying it am I right that that's a gyroscope I have no idea what a gyroscope is whatever it is whatever this technology they've invented for seg that's that thing that you pull the string and it stays it stays spinning forever yeah the orientation of the axis is unaffected by tilting or rotation of the mounting okay so that does make sense they're also in like drones to keep them upright also use GPS to help them keep up right too but good Lord we're that drone almost smashed that yeah we

07:57watched it what the man do you know that guy who died in the segue a guy died we went off a cliff oh one of the guys that owned the company yeah the inventor of it died on a Segway going off a cliff when he went to patent that thing my friend worked at the patent office when he came in he didn't he didn't submit any like uh blueprints he just brought one in and had everybody ride it first of all why is he near a cliff why is he near a cliff why did he do that on the road oh he went off the cliff and an off-road segue oh what a terrible idea have that I don't know but if they do that's a terrible idea offro segue Because unless those things are like way improved I would think that the batteries like if you're hitting rocks and giant tires the idea of like running over a rock and hitting your electrical system me as someone with zero knowledge of even how electricity

08:49works I'm just going to comment on this Ari like I don't even know what the electricity is I know you can't stick a fork in the hole or you die that's what I know I'm such a idiot people are like like you can live if you hold on to telephone wire because your feet don't connect like shut up you don't know any of that what is this dude what are you showing me TV Shredder it looks like a four seg an Offroad Segway oh my God is this real yeah it looks like it look wearing a whole gas mask this looks like Halo yeah this is like a oh my God he's wearing a business suit this is insane it's got tires like a tank it's got tank tires on a segue that is so crazy looking the suit is there a video you got to show me a video of this and it Go side saddle like skateboards yeah I guess right that guy in that position is yeah that seems weird Australia that seems like a weird way to

09:51St maybe it's just that one picture look at this thing it's a little mini tank that is badass wow like why not right oh he's going off the wall no way is he Oh I thought he was going to jump the dumbest thing it was just a seesaw SE he's going on the Seesaw why is he one of the dumbest tricks but why uh well I guess it's to show that it can go over obstacles oh wa oh my God like nothing hell yes oh this thing is actually really badass podcast over let's go get one of those this thing is insane oh wow okay you can hop off easy dude this is crazy what is it called This is a DTV Shredder oh that one here's the thing it's it's not even that heavy like when he falls down you see when he just fell down look he just picks it up and moves it like it's not that big a deal yeah look we're not it's not like a motorcycle they showing what are we doing a commercial for this seems like we're doing a

11:02commercial for this I never even heard of this until seconds ago I swear this is I see what you're doing dude they get product placement you DTV Joe Rogan right now you get 10% off 10% off a new DTV free shipping what the is that man that's a that's your Shredder plates that's like some 14-year-old boy got like 10 million bucks and said two I'm stting my own company bit you have about rappers you had about rappers getting everything in their home yeah yeah yeah that's the white version of that that is the yeah ATVs are like a white man's H yeah like an ATV if you're like if you're white trash and you got like really powerful ATVs like you are running you got a good piece of land where you could just drive through mud yeah yeah let's go to Bobby's ride those ATVs mud that's fun as you ever ride one of those ATVs oh my God they're so fun really the three

12:01wheel things well they're four wheels but that those like motorcycle type yeah they're like motorcycle things yeah dude fun as yeah I've I've been in a bunch of different kind of little buggies do you jump them and stuff oh no no no no just you driving through the woods in them they're really fun it's like does it bounce everywhere yeah yeah it's really bouncy but they can get out of anything and they go into the woods and drive over Logs with them and hell yeah they take those things up in Canada and my friends in Canada the rivets they run hunting camp in Canada they have an Argo and Argo is like a mini tank it's the CRA it's it's it goes amphibian it goes through the water really dude it's it's crazy these things my friend John rivet from up in Canada well he needs it he goes moose hunting so they they'll they'll kill a moose and they have to drag it out of the woods and they have

12:50it on this mini tank whoa dude you have to see this thing they have different wheels for them like sometimes they have like Wheels like giant truck tires but other times they put tank treads on them and they they can go deep into the woods they just drive through who like you could buy a tank that sounds fun see p pull up a video of an Argo so I can show him what what he's talking about these dudes the rivets they have all sorts of ATVs but this Argo is the mother this is the mother like if if you're stuck yeah this will get you out it's the mother it just goes deep into the woods it's a tank small tank gets over everything everything logs look at it look at it look at it okay this is one of them this is they have some of them nigeran Army they're going through the water and see the tank treads oh yeah some ility you can drive through water with these things wow why they

13:49the dollar bill they have I don't know some Hill billly whoever's making them you know they're appealing to but back that up back that up so you can see the where the one has the tread look at that right there where you can see the tank Tre he put Christmas trees in the snow he's got tank tread there's tank tread on these things I mean they can it's a tank it's a tank for the forest wow see girls right now would be so angry if they were here who cares why you in the forest we don't live in the forest ladies I'm so sorry that we we don't see things the same way but this is like for a girl like w going through creeks and would be cool like that what would be the female equivalent for something like this like awesome handbags girls with awesome shoes a shoes thing right it' be a shoes thing a man with money older man with money in a heart condition oh my God you have got to see

14:50this one look he can barely breathe Jesus Christ look how fat his wallet is isn't that terrifying that that that that some old dudes like that really are prayed upon like that yeah nobody protects them no there's no like guys come on they can't make their own decisions I know a dude who got taken really an older dude by Sophia vagero no he had a younger younger girlfriend that he met on one of those weird dating sites and uh two years in he's like she was involved in his business hundreds of thousands of dollars went missing it just got to this weird state he had a jettison jettison the experience yeah yeah man it's old dudes SC it's it's old people in general you know you start getting older you truly don't want to be alone and if you're really old and you're wealthy and you just find some girl who seems so nice but every time she makes your tea just start just start

15:49feeling weird start diarrhea and I don't know what's going on there something wrong with me maybe you're anxious cuz of the new girl maybe it's just maybe I just know I haven't been having sex and since my wife died and I'm 85 years old now and I can't believe this girl even wants to be with me I mean it's just what a treasure and what a what a blessing from the Lord but God every time she makes me this tea I'm just myself he doesn't want to admit it are you okay baby we still going to do it do you not think I'm hot anymore he said baby I love you I just you know I'm 85 years old on one second I just got ass blood slowly but she's eating through his insides I those those shows like those um uh murder shows where they talk about like no no like um where you talk about like uh different people that it did like uh like there was one that was a nurse that was purposely poisoning all

16:52of the people that she was taken care of they were why she was crazy she was C she was crazy she was purposely poisoning um patients to get out of work yeah she I don't think she was doing it to get out of work I think she was just killing people I think she was just crazy it was a few years back but the idea that someone would uh would want to consciously slowly kill someone with a poison like oof oo how about you just move on with your life yeah leave that poor guy in the bed alone no she she got off on it or something right oh yeah something she was killing them while they're in her care do you ever think about what it' be like to kill somebody God it's dark it's it's wor it's amazing how few people kill people really when you think about it how mad people get at each other and how few people actually get killed we're awesome we're hanging in there

17:52man you know I mean think about how many times I walk around in no fear of any physical violence yeah almost never you have to be in the total wrong place at the total wrong time or drinking yeah if you're drinking anything can happen especially if you're one of those guys but I just freely walk around with like plenty of money in my pocket yeah for anyone to keep I just mean like everyone has a wallet like do you keep your cash cash M how long before that's not real anymore cash how long before paper money just is gone that's got to be coming right I'm ready for the chip oh wow you're ready to give in the board purchase chip someone's ready to give into the board and get some horse legs you ever see those videos of the in order for the phone to work you have to get horse legs chip in that's what they're going to do yeah and eventually like okay anyone who doesn't still have

18:42the chip in and the horse legs we're going to we're going to give you free ones now cuz everyone has to be on no it would anybody it would be like certain things you couldn't get you couldn't get on the internet anymore they they will deprive you of your services you join saying uh my phone will no longer work overseas um but if you want an overseas phone they can they can get me one it's hilarious if you don't know ladies and gentlemen Ari shaffir has done one of the bravest things that any man has ever done he went from an iPhone to a flip phone the jankiest little 1979 technology flip phone at the time it was super Advanced like what you're sporting in your pocket at one point time one point yeah absolutely yeah it's undeniably yeah undeniably super Advanced I had to find this one the first was just the free like Best Buy go get it over there but yeah you started off with a

19:38regular one when you had to do like four presses to get an s that was impossible that was really really tough on me it's so stupid yeah this double flip is the future man the well you know what the real future is voice recognition oh yeah full typing thing is so stupid it's gone it's on its way out it's so close close it's so close yeah they're so good now like as far as one you show me was dead on it's insane I use it for notes all the time I'll say something into notes and I just it comes out almost perfect like weird things get spelled wrong if it's a weird name or something like that but that's to be expected it spells it phonetically got Ari got Ari you know what else did Washington Post is that what it wasle har shafir was a goddamn answer to a crossword puzzle ladies and gentlemen so suck at haters my mom and sister sent it to me that's hilarious they said they were

20:34getting all sorts of phone calls yeah and I was like no way that's such a that's such a non-comedy yeah that's you've transcended son so weird unquestionably you've now transcended that's like comedian shafir boom 47 across suck it weird sit you're famous you're on TV what do you expect man that's that you have that point be like there enough for someone to get it yeah if they don't suck it yeah you're doing the right thing though I like I like the fact I would never do what you're doing with your phone yeah but I like what you're doing what you're doing is you're looking at the data and deciding okay how much willpower do I have not enough this yeah there you go that's how that's the way to put it I analyze the stats on my life and I was like oh I can't stop but did it very intelligently like it's very difficult to do it's very difficult for people to

21:33not just look at some weird addiction that they might have but to say okay even though there's all this amazing convenience of being able to buy movie tickets and being able to check websites and answer emails on your phone it's not worth it that's a justification it's not worth it it's too much well they you know how when you see uh someone on TV smoking cigarettes you never really smoked huh no I never smoked well when you smoke when you see somebody just trigger like oh I need to smoke too or as soon as you get in your car some people smoke no matter what just or whenever I went to The Comedy Store i' smoke you know what's funny though when I see people get high it does the opposite it makes you not want to get high go my god do I sound that stupid when I'm high you know cuz sometimes you'll say things when you're high and as you're saying them you're like like you would

22:20listen to me and you would go oh my God he's an idiot but believe me I'm saying oh my god I'm an idiot I'm say as I'm saying it I'm thinking I'm an idiot like this is somebody should write this down and alert the media cuz it's brilliant you're here the next day and you're like what I did a scene on news radio once with Bob Costa yeah who's a very nice guy Bob Costa is great he's very very intelligent guy too and we had this scene and um I uh he beats me up he like has to flip me he does this like Judo flip and beats my ass for some strange reason um but afterwards we were all out talking and while we were talking I had smoked pot and I was rambling to him as I was I remember talking to him about Dupont making the the chemical compound for nylon like at the same time when they made hemp illegal like some stupid ass story and in the middle of it I'm like shut while while words are

23:22coming out of my mouth I'm going shut the f your brain is telling you your brain is telling you hey man stop this shut up up what did you do what' you say oh I don't know I mean he was he's a gentleman you know I'm sure he didn't even call me on it I just realized it while I was doing it then you have to be like he's a super nice guy he's a really uh really interesting guy very very smart you know there certain dudes like you talk to you go oh okay another LEL you're sharp yeah there's a few guys like that he's a very sharp guy you know and he's uh he's in in that interesting position too as uh a sports commentator who also gives like really wellth thought out opinions agree with him or disagree with him about gun violence about a lot of other things about like important social issues yeah Bob Costas oh you know what I'm talking about right I thought I thought he said Bob Costa

24:15there was thing there just another person that guy yeah Bob Costas yeah you got it yeah is see the diaper guy the diaper guy who's the diaper one Bob kasus is the guy that does like football right and Marv Albert Boba does that he used to do that late night show yeah later with Bob Costa yeah something like that that was it was right shot at late night for a little while super smart guy man how dumb is that billboard for that late night show when they put making that Daily Show girl be a girl oh the one we were looking at on the yeah well you know they're just trying to get your attention if you it says like if you don't like it you're sexist or if you don't watch it you're sexist I even the name of it for front just like come on let him let him just be a hosts all of them all the minorities they just keep pushing him into like being that thing a girl's

25:05a minority yeah absolutely it's a girl TV that's an interesting way of putting it I've never heard a girl be described as a minority even though they're 52% yeah they're the underrepresented on television what's the what's the uh race show on TV yeah I have no idea well you say underrepresented like less than half the you know people on TV or girls yeah really stand up there a lot more dudes really shows more about I'm trying to think about movies or TV shows yeah there's very few Walking Dead seems to have an even number they have an even number of boys and girls yeah may be and somehow those people aren't hooking up like what do we live forever remember a couple barely and they just fall deeply in love while they fight off the zombies get the out of here they never even fight what's his name was watching him in that one episode he was just staring at them

25:55oh that's right the comedian what's his name uh Josh Jos MC Josh mcder MC he just staring he's like Josh is looking at us again he goes let him look do you remember how uh we worked with Josh did you do that gig you didn't do that gig was it Duncan it might have been Duncan and me and uh we're in Arizona yeah we were in Arizona and this was I think this was a Diaz no show that's how the old classic Diaz no show that's how it started it back people don't know the way the reason I went out on the road with Joe Rogan is cuz he needed the second person to open for him because Diaz was at best 7030 to show up he was more than that he was more than that in all fairness it was only a few instances where it didn't work out but you didn't want to get stuck with nobody so you're like fine I'll have two just in case he shows up I'll have two no big deal I'd love Joey yeah and I always

26:44felt like I have an obligation to let Joey be Joey what a great employer when it's like oh you might not show up today I'll just hire more people to do your job also so that we don't have this problem I knew like even way back in the day that Joey was special he's a special guy and he's special he's important for everybody yeah you know he's like an engine and he's beautiful he's if you get close to him he's beautiful he's the best he's the best that guy shines like inside like this why we all love to be around him he calls you you know if you're even if you're busy or something you're like this will be a 90c phone call he does those check in phone calls every day yeah I mean he's a classic original but he you know he had s back then with but you saw something right I knew it I just knew it I just knew it oh man I was like this guy just needs he just needs to be just leave him alone

27:36he'll figure it out he's closing out my Storyteller show again a monster we're going to end the season with him every year he's a monster he could do that Forever by the way he has he never runs out of stories it's insane I've never met anybody who I've known him for what almost 20 years and he just always has new stories yeah and there and people go this didn't yeah no he he gets verification verification he'll call people up put them on speaker phone tell them that time verification with Joey babaluno and North Bergen and he has these these conversations with people verification is great verification trip called you for verification that's right what was it over I don't remember what it was what was the verification he from on stage he called you and you at The Improv yeah what did I what was it the question he was this girl said oh said that we're not friends and I said I my something

28:29like that's exactly per verification the fact I'm getting on the phone proves it oh yeah it was a Heckler who's being mean to him nobody's better with hecklers than tripley oh well Trip's been trenches he's been in the trenches yeah Diaz is yeah triple is a comedy store dude those Comedy Store guys especially us from like the 90s yeah on there was no nobody was there was no crowd control would get off like is no one I'm fighting for 10 minutes no one's even tell him to shut up how come dude Holtzman got knocked out oh remember he got he got punched in the face by someone's bodyguard Holzman one time tackled somebody they were walking they were walking by the front row in the original room and they walked in between the front row of chairs and the the table chairs you know there one of those but right right against the stage and there's one like with the tables right

29:28so they're walking between there and he saw them he just leaned over and grabbed on their shoulders and just left his body weight just drop and he just brought them to the ground they were just going back to their seat what the oh my God they just going back to their seat okay let me ask you this as a responsible person and an adult if you're running that business do you fire him what do you do he say contractors is that how you look at it you like you can't that's that's why Yelp reviews of comedy clubs are some of the greatest things in the the world because they point out stuff that you'll be like they're doing it as a Yelp review of a business but they're like literally one of the employees said I hope I die in a fire when I'm going home it's like imagine if a waiter said that to you right and then they're like oh you're talking about David Taylor like running

30:15you out of there and now he's trying to hurt you so you think about it on the way home we we don't want your business well espe if you're running out of there too you were probably a dick enough to be like we don't want back that's the most important part well you you can run into dicks man and a lot of times it's just people that don't know how to behave yeah like chapal was at uh the store the other night and some guy kept yelling out at him and the crowd started yelling at the guy to shut the up yeah that's the best oh was he was just so obnoxious but he just couldn't believe he was talking to Dave Chappelle you know he just drunk and he he up and the people around him were responding and it started getting shitty you know but the store never had anybody that like you can't do that at the Improv they will grab you and they'll pull you out of there like they they

31:03like guys all comedians so we're outside smoking pot no one's pay drinking and they're like where were you I'm like uh talking to this chick no one's paying attention yeah you have to get a door guy yeah but you know what I I I would say that it's way less necessary today than it's ever been before like the crowds have been amazing at the store lately they also sort of okay here's the thing and this is why Canadian Crowds Are Better too cuz it's if you go into it and like your listeners good with an understanding of like oh here's the etiquette of what it's like to be in a comedy show right like I sort of get it already then they're just like a base level better crowds like oh I know you're supposed to shut up and laugh yeah and that's it some people didn't get that message yeah that's what's going on though man that's part of what it is some people they

31:47don't just don't know that yet and and like what like what is what no one else is doing this yeah I think it's just it's hard for some people people they grow up around morons you know if you grow up like exclusively around morons yeah and you've been responding to morons your whole life then all of a sudden you're drinking Dave Chappelle's on stage you're going to act like a you don't even know why you're doing it like as it's coming out of your mouth you're like who is this representing the great spirit that is inside me he used to have more problems like right after Chappelle Show with they would yell at those catchphrases at him oh he had a real problem once um it was uh at uh the House of Blues I think or something like that one of those places in Vegas oh yeah yeah on tour yeah remember like they were saying people kept yelling out you know all all the

32:36different phrases you know he just like what I can't go anywhere with this yeah what was the big one what was that big one I'm Rick James yeah I'm Rick James that was one they kept yelling out he had when he came back from Africa or whatever he had a show at the store The Comedy Store and it was mobbed and everybody's there sound garden came and Bruce Willis came W yeah it was mobbed and then I mean way oversold and uh the fire department showed up and it was like trouble but they just wanted to sit on the steps and watch wow he was the biggest thing that was them but they were strict they told everybody you say a word and you're gone and there was a line out of the door of people not being able to get in and when magical was on I think he had two guys open from a magical some black guy I forget who and then he went on um somebody heckled a little bit from the

33:19front row and they just yanked him right out and somebody came right in right kind a front row seat cuz those guys up yeah man I think people are learning yeah you know like I get it if you don't like the person who's on stage I've I've left go outside go get a cigarette and come back in listen I I'll sit and watch the show and if someone is not doing well that's when you say something if your waiter is being super rude to you or or or somebody a plumber is being an to you like hey man you're being a dick get out but not if it's ruining everyone else's experience you don't like a movie go outside and complain well it's just it's not necessary if other people are enjoying it for you to exess pleasure yeah and that happens sometimes imagine leaving Star Wars going this is a kids movie I don't like this it's for kids all these kids go what why are you ruining this for me but

34:09again we know that because we're in the business I think for a lot of people this is all they don't understand yeah and then there's also people that will tell you hey you should be able to handle anything they're up there on stage you should be able to handle anything they throw at you it's like I am one of the ways I have to handle this is to make you leave by an off duty cop who's working the door that's a weird thing when people tell you what you're supposed to be able to do like as a comedian you're supposed to be able to handle it imagine going to a restaurant throwing a plate onto the floor and so well you know you guys deal with spills all the time don't you you should be able to handle it like so somebody literally said when uh the subject of stealing jokes came up look you should be able to write more jokes I remember someone saying that like you should be able to write more

34:55jokes oh it's so simple yeah so apply that L to other things like oh you you have a job for a boss who's like abusing you well you should be able to get a better job yeah why don't you have a better job you should better a job what my boss rapes me commentary different days commentary that's all it is I like to just walk away from those people you can do it online better we get I'm might try to educate you get out of here that's so funny man it's so true yeah God hey you should be able to handle anything you told me early on when you started like really like you would be vicious with PE with those hecklers I'm like don't you feel bad and you were like they've already shown their so no no mercy re tring mean to you what they're doing is trying to be mean like they're they're yelling out trying to interrupt and a lot of them the reason why they're doing it is cuz they just

35:52want attention they you know it's not even what you're saying they just for whatever reason reason they wanted to do an open mic night they never did it they got drunk and here they are and they feel like I'm going to get this Ari shafir I I don't this guy he can't handle what I'm coming with him look at those ears can you fly around the room with those things wo dude I had these two gay guys at the stand and they were mad at me because it was one of those things where drunks will mishear one word you know and they'll just like I don't like that you know no no I was saying I don't like people who hate black people and like what's black people now and you're like no shut up it's one of those and they were just being angry and giving me the mean stare all the time and the stand is so small that you can see everybody it's pretty good and uh and then I was like but you

36:38guys don't like this I said something like the first smile I got out of you and they're like well whatever and I just started calling Mr Mrs poopy pants and just like belittling them it's just so fun and watching them get angrier and angrier we just talk over people they're just angry well what were they doing like what got you so mad just giving me mean mean mugs you've seen that like I'm just going to try to show you how mad I am oh like yeah yeah things like that things like that I had a woman in Calgary she was bitching about everybody the whole opener she kept Ying I was like hey you got to be quiet and then she did that thing with like next joke and I'm like beat it you're out get out get the out yeah what is that yeah you don't need to be above the show I I I just railed on her for like 10 minutes and then I had to stop like by the way crowd this is not coming out of your

37:21time so the clock stops next joke oh my God yeah it's like you don't even want to be here get the out of here it's just so weird cuz you can go to like the most amazing movie but if you're sitting next to someone who's going yeah yeah that could happen oh he lived who saw that coming Stallone he he found a way to get that that rock pick into the side of the mountain just as he's hanging off of it not likely pulls himself up uh be quiet grabs a log and drags himself over the top of the cliff shut up you're ruining this that could happen right dude I had this guy in Scotland threatened to sue me oh that's wonderful yeah because I told his wife he was she was ugly did you hear what happened in Canada with that with Mike Ward do you know the guy getting sued by tribunal yeah I like him a lot he's great which which one are you talking about the one where the guy um cursed out the lesbians

38:26and said bunch of uh anti-gay things to them no D called them dkes something along those lines and there was like nasty exchange between this guy and this girl and um the woman sued and apparently I believe won and I don't know specific mental damages well I think she sued for like Jamie see if you could pull that up I don't want to talk I don't know exactly what the charges were but it it was everybody was like whoa like and she won yeah I think she got a award of like $10,000 or something like that well then it becomes a thing where it's like you either have to make everyone sign a release before coming to comedy club or just saying you're going to kill the art form as Jamie pulls it up you can't take risk I don't want to misquote anything so I want to make sure I say this incorrectly but it was a story I just I don't know I'll tell what judgement was

39:21to Mike Ward he's a French Canadian comic and so he was doing there's there was this kid who was like making a wish kid whatever and uh they were like he's going out and it was a big like on TV is like a whole campaign about this kid and then uh Mike had a bid about 10 years later this kid's still alive and he's like I want my money back you know and he started going off he was like he's supposed to die he's 23 now oh no and uh and that's so up yeah and the kids he said he got made fun of because of it oh my God and it wasn't cool Jesus Christ he was like well sorry man were like a celebrity and I'm going to make fun of that stuff and uh he got taken to a tribunal he's going right now to a French Canadian tribunal oh no oh my God what are they suing him for or what are they charging him with or what are they doing uh sing up I don't know the exact charges but it's

40:14either 80 grand or more that they're suing them for but the problem is then that just makes anything off limits it makes any sort of subject where you have no idea well here's the thing how do you attach a monetary number to that slurs for forced comic to pay 15,000 Wows more than I thought tiate of ugly words against lesbian Patron after appeal Falls flat wow so no appeal gu appeal fell flat they didn't win the appeal yeah so I think he lost human rights tribunal that's what Mike is being brought up into a human rights tribunal what is going on Canada what the you doing lasting physical and psychological effect H what's the physical effect well see I I would say here's one thing if this woman came to a show okay let's let's let's be honest about this okay and and he just started he just started be raing side I'm on her side if if she's sitting there with her

41:10girlfriend and she didn't do anything and he starts saying a bunch of lesbian to her and being mean to her and just being an and you know guys have done that right we all know Comics have done we we've all seen Bad Comics do things like that or take attempts you know try to be funny and it's just offensive and if if you paid money to see something like that no matter what it is whether it's a a black joke whether it's a you know a a joke about Asian people and you're get you you feel like abused just a joke about their height where's a line after that in that way of thinking it's really a matter of like what is being said it's not like just a blank subject right we can't say what if it's a joke about being black cuz it could be a joke you know you really here's the problem you can't really make it up to anyone right it's got to be like you're allowed to

42:00say everything you're not allowed to say everything but how do you do a monetary number that's weird well I mean like how do you make could be like these are my doctor's bills my psych my psychologist bills this is how much work I've missed you could do it that way I think in this case 15 grand is not a huge amount of money it's a lot but it's not like those McDonald's settlements right you know but for a comic though who's guy working B plus I'm sure he has legal fees right yeah but what I was going to get is did the girl Heckle first yeah see that that's what I don't know see if she did then her yeah like yeah you probably shouldn't say mean about her I've seen stories about a guy a comic going off on somebody so in the court of public opinion like they get eviscerated because they went off too hard on somebody but then people were at the show were like no no this lady was

42:48heckling everyone in the show let's see what it says here in May of 2007 I don't need to read her name and a girlfriend were at a club in Vancouver a restaurant Vancouver restaurant with a largely gay clientele when an open mic night hosted by Mr Earl kicked off the two women decided to stay according to the later findings of the human rights tribunal during the show Mrs pere's girlfriend had M P's girlfriend had merely pecked her on the cheek when Mr Earl told the crowd don't mind that inconsiderate Dyke table over there you know lesbians are always ruin it for everybody stop right there stop right there go back up let me read that yeah I've seen that before yeah all I did was this one they're probably fully making out and everyone and just disrupting everyone why else we say don't mind that inconsiderate yeah and ruining it for everyone I would imagine there's

43:42probably some chatter yeah probably that happens and then he went off too hard but we've all seen that when they don't want to admit that they did that yeah exactly it's always that it's always like I didn't do anything all I do is move my chair and it's like no why would anyone throw you out when you're a customer for doing nothing and it I was just laughing shut up there's a lot of different kinds of lesbians yeah right there's like educated lesbians that are into the Arts right and then there's like the bul djy lesbians that are like more thicker bigger boned right and then there's the lipstick lesbians so then they all booed him this line prompted Boo from his party's table and then that escalated the string of lurs and it's like all right you don't like it you're seeing an artist get the out yeah I don't like this so leave then it's okay you can just leave really

44:35it's hard to know if you want your money back fine get your money back or was it this were they just two really pretty interesting women and one of them did kiss her friend on the cheek lightly and the comic was eating dick on stage yeah and he started blaming these girls for the fact that he's eating dick on stage you ever seen that happen before absolutely so here's the deal we should be fair here right so let's say it was that way so in that scenario they should get their money back and leave H right you still can't stop a guy of an artist from trying something right right you're never going to know what the line is unless you cross it and then you pull back a little bit so if you don't let a guy even try to get to the line then you're hurting art in general this is what he said that's really rude you're not even lesbians no guy will you that's why you're with each

45:21other how how rude that's I I'm still on the dude's side here I I don't I'm sorry I I I see myself saying that yeah in my darkest moments for sure depends really we don't know see like here's another problem that's the problem when Kramer did that stuff it was like oh yeah I get it I get the point of like I just want to hurt you now right and that's not even what he was trying to do here's the thing of looking at it on print here like this it's so much different so much different looking at it on print is so much different we're missing this is like first of all we don't know if that's exactly what he said I mean is this taking from a recording or is this from people's memory like how exactly do we know exactly what he said is what she says he said they call that discrimination but really discrimination is if they wouldn't let them in because recording young Jamie no uh it says in

46:10the court case they used uh witness testimony from junk patrons that were there see you can't do that cuz I don't remember guys jok sometimes and I'm a professional comedian they I doubt they remember exactly what he said especially if they're hammered come on on everyone was booing him he was an and it's like oh he was just going down here's the thing M if Comics are bad they will eventually stop being they'll stop or they'll get better yeah or they'll get better but if you're hecklin he's not going to get you're you're just you're not supposed to do that and when you do do that you open the door to chaos also I've had stuff where it's like I'm going to take you down one road and then I'll it's I'll take you clear in the end don't worry if you just be quiet and listen the whole time you'll see where I'm going with this and you'll be fine but if you stop me in the middle it's going

46:59to make it seem really bad what I said exactly exactly if if you get interrupted you're just going to look bad and it's a long setup you can't make someone pay money off of off doing their art badly exactly exact well first of all and I'm not even saying it was bad he might have gotten other people laughing at him yeah I don't know what happened I don't so it's so hard but I think the monetary aspect of it a monetary judgment like come on $155,000 like what really happened there until you can Define what really happened yeah it sounds so crazy she that they just come up with a number 15,000 pay the money give money to people you have to give money to people if they get mad at you can yeah can you say to people on the street can you like call someone a dick on the street here's the thing or can you get sued for that what is it about like a like gay slurs is that what it was what it was

47:52that it was a gay thing cuz like what if he just concentrated on other aspects of her yeah exactly what if it was that what if it was like you can't get a better girlfriend because you're too empty inside like really went to hurt her in a different way had nothing to do with it yeah people wouldn't be as mad that's kind of yeah it's not about the hurting it's about the how he's hurting yeah he's hurting her by saying that he can't she can't get men to her that's why she's a lesbian she's not even a real lesbian he's trying to hurt her there cuz it's like like why you listen funny to say it's a funny thing to say that's what a comic would say but he has to try yeah have dissertation on lesbian rights he's also ad living and again we're not taking this guy side cuz we don't know what happened I don't know I mean who knows he might have been a dick and then is it up to

48:37the rest of the audience to decide how dickish he was or is it just like no I felt hurt so I get the money I it's just like it's an art form you can't stop anyone from doing or saying anything that's why you're allowed to smoke on stage here cuz like well it's part of the art on stage like performance pal smoked four cigarettes the other night in a 20-minute set once I saw him light up another one I was like all right I'm out he just kep smoking him it was hilarious what does it say here in addition to Mr Earl's $115,000 penalty the restaurant was also ordered to pay $7,000 since he was had a bartab he was illegally an employee oh my God so because the comedian had a small bar tab to host the event the comedian was legally an employe oh man that's sad it's ear's lawyer walk on the tribunal Pro yeah it's a Tribunal what is this what rights do they have Nordic they have Gods Greek

49:31and Thor comes down slams The Hammer at the end of the decision so stupid looking Miss party he so the miss the guy the comedian the host of the show was trying to say that the lady quote played a vital and highly dramatic role in utterly disrupting a performance by unpaid volunteers comedy clubs are like no other places the quintessential element that distinguishes them from vapid mainstream media is the Fearless pursuit of Free Speech hell yeah listen to this though too played a vital and highly dramatic role in utterly disrupting a performance by unpaid volunteers an open mic they're just trying to go on you guys are for that sentence when he finished that sentence and he hit that period the judge should have said it's over you win you win get out of here this is over oh she was messing you guys up well I just I'm on his side just by the way he spells things spells things out like his

50:26his so theud in the judge's words the comic was not giving a comedy performance when he launched into his tie rate of ugly words directly Miss party but you can see that there are jokes there yeah that's not true because that was funny but even if he doesn't land them it's like if you can see any if you get an expert say oh yeah here's where he was trying to get a joke here's where he's trying to get a laugh well let's scroll back up to the thing that he said to her because it's clearly a joke and if if if it's the way that's for the water and by the way this is people Rec it's right there it's right there water throwing huh she she threw water at him twice instead wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute she threw water at him yeah oh well that's just silly come on crazy lady like what are we doing we kind of that was enough we barely hitting each other we're going to

51:14slap we're going to have a slap Fest she threw two glasses of water through two glasses of water and he broke her sunglasses in turn and he broke God Jesus Christ what what are they doing they're like chimps smack trees I could see that somebody threw a glass of water at me and then threw another one and it was a girl so I couldn't hit her I'd be like well you can't just I could see I just wow I could see that I don't know if I would or not as Mr Earl told it however you're not even lesbians no guy will you that's why you're with each other that's the joke yeah well it's clearly a joke but listen to his his point of view though he says the couple was passionately kissing in the front and repeatedly interrupting the set with obscenities when Mr Earl tried to shut up the table with the quip you're not even lesbians no guy will you that's why you're with each other just

52:02thus kissing off the ugly escalation well okay dude that's the exact situation that's happened a billion times that you've seen people are being way too loud and disruptive and they don't believe they are they have no idea well it's people we were talking about before so this tribunal said Okay if that happens and you're too harsh you're going to have to pay money that you can't afford L an open micer is paying 15 grand Canada has legislated politeness that's how serious they take their politeness up there they've made laws where you have to be polite well in this situation clubs are going to start recording filming sets that's the only way they're going to be I mean this this owner would have to prot takes away the sort of standard comedy is counterculture and part of it exists because like Hey Nobody's recording this this is all just existing right now in a basement of some

52:51ho I agree and I think that's a then you take away like uh hold on right I I agree with you I think it's a beautiful aspect of it but this poor guy I mean if this is the landscape operating in he's the the owner of the goddamn Club is getting over by an open micer so hey he has no incentive now this isn't just the the why would why would any club why would any place have an open mic at their place open mic nights are filled with crazy people and people who will become great comedians yes but the ratio is very high to crazy but even the ones that are going to become great are terrible when they're at the open mic yes and they can make terrible decisions and and they might be one day 20 years later your all-time favorite comedian but right now they're clunking their way through everything and spilling their drink and looking just Nobody Does it right in the

53:45beginning it's an ad Li thing and when you're ad liing like that like where there's people in the audience that are disrupting the show if it's true from his perspective what he's saying well they're they're interrupting with his job and his job is to talk and to be funny so now you've engaged in some sort of a verbal Warfare with a comedian who has a microphone why could they make him pay for that because they couldn't see where the comedy would be well the fact that she threw drinks at them that's just sort of void out the whole thing like I guess just saying well she was already so disrupted that that was she had to yeah I don't know man I don't like talking about these things if I wasn't there cuz you know all see how this how this could play out exactly like a show you've been you could be you could be on that side of that so easily 100% so now

54:31right now what you're saying is hey open mic places don't don't start that's the worst part about it it's going to discourage the um clubs from taking a chance and putting on these amateurs who they don't know these people in open mic night folks let me just um put it in perspective we had a guy who dropped an end bomb maybe 75 times at at this place on Sunset at this Recovery Place a Recovery Place Recovery Place it was just where like AA people hung out oh and he did like a set there yeah yeah yeah it was an open mic an open mic and it was so uncomfortable whoa but then whatever he felt it too he probably won't do that again or he will or he will whatever he cut it down about 10 nword oh or that's his point is he's trying to shock everyone yeah so that's fine he did it or he just maybe doesn't know how goofy he sounds some people don't know how goofy they sound yeah you

55:25got to get a response from from people like if you're around what if you're going to shock what if that's what you're going for is to is to offend and that's what you're that's what you're looking for that's the emotion you're trying to get out of an audience and it's like we're going to legislate and say that's not when you can get out of them or what if it's like you think that that's going to be funny but it's not yeah like you just suck it it just it's not working like you suck at this kind like Diaz angry is one of the funniest things ever when his face gets red and he starts getting mad he starts screaming about how he when he was a kid bottled water he goes I used to drink puddle water does that he's beat red in the face like that that real anger that shit's hilarious cuz he's got jokes and real anger but when you have like a manufactured anger and you're

56:12trying to be edgy yeah fake rants you can see through them to me that's offensive it's offensive if you're not in the moment for sure like you like when Joey's talking about bottled water he's in the moment it's it's a it's you drink bottle water what we've we we've all sort of figured this out our own way but when you're on stage and you're locked in right like you're the the audience is laughing hard everything's going great it feels like some kind of a mass hypnosis in a way because like oh yeah you're conducting it just like pointed at them and they'll all laugh yeah well it's it's it's that but it's also like I feel like when I watch um oh when you're in the audience yeah like I watch Burr the other day at the at the store in the main room and then Chappelle the other day uh in the O locked in dude I loved it I loved it as an audience member and I was thinking

57:07like when they were doing their jokes and I'm I'm laughing I'm like going along with their thought process and I'm I'm as it's happening to me I'm recognizing this thing that it's somehow or another they're they're thinking for you like they're thinking for you and you're just on a ride with their their thoughts think for the comic on stage yeah now so when someone has some fake rant and you're like oh stop like if someone came over your house and when the problem with the government is programs on TV are programming you that's why they call them programs you know if you were this guy was in your house he'd be like well you shut the up come on man but if Diaz is in your house and he starts talking to you about some oh the government has a program you just you have a free show you have like a show with Diaz we have shows with him whenever we hang out

57:56now like he'll perform at the restaurant he perform on the ride over he's always on he's alive you know yeah I just don't think it should be up to anyone to decide what that line is of right or wrong or nailed it or didn't nail it yeah you just can't my line is different than your line even the too soon kind of thing like I heard somebody I heard Jeff Ross do a joke about something it was South Carolina but it was like a year later but I remember people trying to do jokes right then and people like No And so then Jeff did it and it hit and still got an O like a year later you like uh but it's like oh what I want as a as an audience member is the day of yeah so we just we like different things I like your Foods so it's fine my favorite example of people saying something isn't funny that was hilarious was Ry Lang R Lang got in trouble oh for that Twitter stuff cuz he said um he goes he

58:48goes I was having sex with this really I'm paraphrasing I was having sex with this really hot black girl and I was on top of her and she goes was I can't breathe and I'm like let's not make this political honey let's not bring politics into the bedroom yeah that's what it is that was let's not bring politics in the bedroom but people got up and screamed at him apparently at the at the cellar in New York and they stormed out this is like a year after the guy attempted suicide too by the way right oh already yeah I mean wasn't it like a year before that like it wasn't like a long time maybe maybe two years right so he's just getting back that that uh I can't breathe time you Eric Gardner can't make jokes about that and it's like see me I felt I mean this the only way way you would look at it and say you can't make jokes about that is if you feel like it's somehow

59:42racist because if it was any other any other reason like you could totally make a joke about that like yeah you you're not even listening to it right you're just you're just going I think this is wrong I'm going to interrupt and yell yeah if you listen to what he's saying in the joke like come come on like that be like interrupting uh it's not even a joke a Jonathan Swift essay because you're like wait are you saying we should kill kids yeah you're saying we should he just said we should eat children yes exactly let's get this guy the off but the joke is not saying it's not making fun of the guy who died and the cops killing him the joke is making fun of everyone talking about it yes that's it it's just the joke is him with a hot black girl and he's her cuz he's fat she says I can't breathe the I mean that's a great joke it's a great joke and it's not mean yeah here's

60:34the joke the protests are affecting my life last week I was having sex with the bu girl she yelled out I can't breathe oh well he so he put it on Twitter yes right at the end of 2014 so it's at the height of the black right right right oh he didn't this was the the punch line I think the black lives matter thing has never been bigger so I don't think you say it the harder but I think it's bigger now than ever before I don't think so at all I don't think so at all I think it's kind of eating itself a little and people going H well like all backlash it's like all matter just cops well and there also one of the guys who worked for him was white oh really see that they kind of proved this guy was white who one of the guys in Black lives matter like one of head guys apparently he's a white guy allegedly what the do I know what does that mean I don't know but the

61:23point is like that one was particularly egregious that incident with that Eric Gardner guy I got disgusted by that oh yeah it was terrible cuz they all it was was cigarettes the guy was selling loose cigarettes he didn't do anything and that's the problem is with that is that comes from a it's creates it's sorry it comes from a place of that guy had to sell loose cigarettes to make a living that's not like he ain't robbing people he's selling loose cigarettes for a dollar a piece yeah like to the people who can't afford a p like that's not a guy who's wants to to dream of that as a job and a career yeah so it's like all right they're poor people and you're saying we have regulations where the government's got to get paid so some gu able to push you around and they're like H he had astho but it's like why is he being that violent never tell to beat it cops are not supposed to be

62:11Revenue collectors yeah they're just not that's stupid it's stupid for the cop to be put in that position where you're making them arrest people CU you have a quota like we have to figure out a way where these people don't don't get paid that way like the idea that you have to have a a certain amount of crime every day in order to keep your position Pro as a cop that's insane like what about a perfect world where we employ a lot of great cops they become a member of the community a respected member because you don't have any crime so the the cop doesn't be a problem anymore it's not or look at as a problem don't do anything here cuz the sheriff's got a well cop you should look at cops it would be ideal like in a perfect world yeah the all the people that were police officers would be the coolest people in the world that just wanted everything to be cool everything to stay

63:01calm and in the the best case scenario you live in a world where like we were talking about how little violence there is imagine if that got way better imagine if like the the douchebag Factor Got reduced dramatically what for whatever way in whatever way imagine imagine how wonderful it would be yeah the world would be perfect we wouldn't have we wouldn't have this fear that people constantly have of getting their home broken into or getting their ass kicked or getting in a fight or getting this or getting that all of it could go away but you can't just choke a guy for cigarettes you can't do that you just can't do it yeah the way they slam people's faces into the criminal like what is it because it's written down somewhere what it's there's a some someone decided there's a a swath of land and you got a mark across it some people sneak over they don't have good paperworks they don't

63:54get a good education you know knows what this guy life was like I don't know if he was an immigrant I'm making up an immigrant story but there's so many people that do so many different things in this world because they're trying to get by and the the idea that someone would tackle you and choke you just because you're selling loose cigarettes like for at worse a ticketable offense what how about if he's selling stolen cigarettes that he broke into a building sto that's one thing well this guy's prop told they told that uh whatever the the the head cop there was like no more choke holdes and so he did it anyway yeah he CH and he had a but so you have to choke a guy like that in their defense but here's the thing choke shouldn't kill you you certainly do if it's a fight it wasn't a fight exactly in that situation no and if he's defending himself I'm saying the

64:42only time you would have to use a choke hold against a person is if that person is somehow or another trying to hurt right so okay let me ask question if they told them to stop using choke colds and he use it anyway now take have to take ground yeah but he said the head cop was like guys no more of these before this he was anyway so if I went and choked somebody mhm and he died and I could say well he just had he had asthma what what trouble would I be in big time manslaughter manslaughter for sure I and I couldn't use the excuse uh it depends depends on what evidence the guy could be like in this situation okay let's look at this situation because in this situation that guy was totally passive he didn't do anything wrong it was ugly it was ugly the way they grabbed him it was guy but I'm what I'm saying is like if you want to control a guy who's that big

65:29once once it's a physical altercation don't wait until he starts punching you or biting you before you choke them you choke them quick that's just what you do and I don't I'm not condoning it in any way shape or form I think it's a terrible terrible miscarriage of of like what's ethically right what's ethically right it's not that the the people with guns that are employed by the state come after you and drag you to the ground because they're not getting their tax money from you which is all this loose cigarette thing is what if the store owner did the exact same thing well what if what you were saying you if you did it you would have to have a reason to do it I mean there would have to be some sort of came out there like at the same reason the C like hey I don't want you here I sell cigarettes in here and the guy's like I'm just trying to do and then I he just ran up behind him choked

66:09him and then he his asthma made him die depends on how it escalates you know if you just attacked him I would say yeah man you just assaulted him for no reason or but what if what if he told you to off and then try to sucker punch you and you had a duck under his punch he didn't do this though exactly he didn't so then it would be different story so in this situation I mean this wasn't like a the store owner didn't do they called the cops the cops but it was about a fight cuz that guy had he had there's there had been a fight before that's why the cops had showed up see they showed up all geared up yeah they showed up geared up because there was a an incident and I think this guy might have even called it in the guy who they wound up killing oh no yeah I don't know exactly what happened um but this dude just happened to be there when it went down I might be wrong about him

66:56calling it in but he was just there and so they they had come looking for this fight the fight wasn't there and then they started going after this guy what's the result of this cop what happened to him I don't know man I don't want to single the cop out I don't even want to mention his name the whole thing did he get off or is he in trouble I I'm sure he was well there's a cop right I was just looking right now two days ago a cop was charged in this incident in the air gner it's a woman so it's not the one that put him in a choke hoold I mean we Sergeant so she might be one of the ones that's in charge of the people that did it so I'm looking right now though that's what happens when you're a leader right you that's again like the club owner and the open micer imagine if you're a sergeant and your rookie out there chokes some guy to death and you get in trouble and you get kicked off

67:37the force you lose your cushy job and she's charged right now with failure to supervise an internal charge damn they got her with failure to supervise how the is she supposed to supervise like these guys choking this guy on the street what what is she supposed to do it's like the losses on the coach is your forearm under his chin yes or no stop let me check your Technique what is she yor do and there were those cops I remember passing by these cops talking to each other and one was going that's not a choke it's choke that's not a choke let me put you in it he got it in it's in a in a hold on his neck let me put you in it no thanks I'll choke the out of somebody anybody tells me that's not a choke let me hold your neck like that what qualifications do you have to be able to say what a choke is me yeah oh I've got a couple things now would you you could definitely be called as an

68:27expert I said it on Twitter I said as a martial arts expert I even said that as a professional martial arts expert I'll tell you very clearly that's a choke I will choke the life out of you with that if I hold your if I have your head in between my arms forget me okay how about Eddie Bravo listen to me if Eddie Bravo has your neck and it's trapped in between his arms you're going to sleep you're just going to sleep that's a choke if he's got your neck like they had Eric Gardner you're going to sleep if Jake sh look at this come on man that guy has his finger tucked under his wrist he's got the hand in the back he's just got a shitty choke he's got he doesn't have the proper technique for sure right and the other gu's holding his he's he's definitely underneath the guy's chin though but this is just a freeze frame that might have been like a brief millisecond of of struggle you

69:17know where he was pushing down with his left arm and up with his right cuz if you look at his right arm in this position that right arm is just an underhook that's not putting any pressure on his neck the only thing that's pushing pressure on the neck is the left arm it's under the chin but there is definitely some space there's definitely some space between cuz it's not under his chin you see where his chin is like look at make it bigger real quick make it bigger but this is just one picture yeah if you see where his chin is yeah got the back of his what happened going to your Twitter how dare you I bigger and it went to that oh um but I saw an image where they were like on the ground oh really yeah I saw a different image there it is see that's a choke oh for sure that's a choke oh he's got under the neck too that's a 100% choke I choke you to death with one arm

70:07like that if you let me if you let me get under your chin like that like this guy's letting him he's not he's not resisting um he's being uh what I mean he's letting him mean he's in a position where he can't do anything about it I should say even even if he didn't die fault what let's say nothing happened to him you know he's not see he's not defending it yeah so if he's not defending it it's 100% of that guy's might the left guy he's in a side choke position so he's pushing down with his left shoulder as well as pulling up with his his left hand and if he puts his left hand on his on the guy Eric Gardner's shoulder he uses that as leverage like guys choke Luke rockold Tapped Out Michael Bisping with a one-arm guillotine okay from the mount position that's a powerful move I mean this it's not exactly this move here but it's very similar in regards to how much

70:54pressure you can put down with your shoulder and how much you can pull up with your with your arm that's a choke I'll choke the out of you with that somebody gets you in a like Marcelo Garcia how about Jacare Ray Jacare gets a hold of you like that yeah that's a choke you're gonna go to sleep not the best choke in the world okay don't get me wrong it's not like the perfect choke the perfect choke is you know like a Marcelo Garcia rear naked choke where the technique is just so laser sharp is a laser sound on that might not even be sharp like in Star Wars they're not sharp are do we really need to watch this guy die they're with him I'll tell you that I didn't sell anything he's like I didn't sell anything he didn't even have loose cigarettes on him when they arrested him did you know that not what no didn't have himig to who not that easy way hard way for what every

71:59time you see me you would have mess with me I'm tired of it this time today this guy right here is forcely trying to lock somebody up for breaking up a fight so yeah he broke up a fight they told you I didn't do nothing I did not sell nothing because every time you see me you want to harass me you stop you know what the world needs is a mediator what do you mean stop like let's press a button on our app a life mediator and we have a life mediator show up who's like a really cool dude like the rock like I feel like your The Rock could have kept that guy alive he would have got there in between the cup Boys Boys Boys relax here let's talk this through he would figure out some let's be rational man we'll regret it in the morning you know he'll have like some motivational maybe take him to the gym everybody does some squats Diaz had a guy Brea show I think we all did I

72:53think it was Brea where the guy was getting kicked out and they were like he wouldn't leave so they were calling the cops and Diaz was like you got to get out of here they're going to arrest you just leave oh yeah that video made a video of it remember no I don't really yeah there was a video of it because they're going to rape you you're small they're going to rape you in prison just go so you don't get raped in prison you have to go I I'm pretty sure Red Band got a video of it oh really yeah I think he got a r video of it and then maybe a video of the guy getting arrested later oh yeah he wouldn't go he was settled in yeah you never know man God damn it J your life is good yeah life is good but I need a tank either little my show already Lang did it what did he talk about he talked about he told two stories so one's going on just web one's going on TV talked about um

73:45when he was on Matt TV doing a bunch of blow while they was supposed to be working and this is the only life where you could talk about things like that just casually yeah and it seems funny yeah whereas if uh he was an insurance salesman and he was talking to the people at his so canot talk about your Cocaine by the way new episode's February 23rd on Comedy Central oh season two is Deuce you calling it Deuce season Deuce season do yeah I should say that you're um I like what I I like what you're doing like overall I like what you're doing with your life I like how you go on these nutty trips you just take a month and just go somewhere like you went to Thailand for a while like you're doing what if like you talk to your average Stoner yeah who uh is a broker and it's just barely getting by man if I had money know what I do dude I wouldn't even be worried about man

74:43I just leave my phone behind I'll go to Thailand for a month I don't give a tell my agent suck my dick I'll be back in 30 days until then deal but we have meetings but we have you I'm going to Thailand just bring your laptop you so you just decided you just decided I had to go to Atlanta first to shoot some and then right to Thailand so I mailed my phone back to my home yeah dude and went and got on the plane yeah I don't want that that's how you're supposed to do it yeah it was so much fun no you're doing it exactly the right way find some in a new country M eat some crazy noodles yeah experience some weirdness they sell so much Viagra on the streets of Bangkok thank God it is everywhere they just look at you like Viagra Viagra and you're like first of all this is like vagra it's such clearly a knockoff does it work I don't know I wasn't going to try it cuz they weren't discounted to

75:34like a dollar a pill there was like they were like half as much as they would have cost in like a store here and that was offensive to you look at your face like excuse me we're in a third world country you don't deserve my money there are children working right now and it's 3:00 a.m. and that's guy's six and he's trying to sell me so I think the prices should reflect that yeah you don't need a lot of money to get by in Thailand right oh no once you're there you're good and it's dude Rel safe Thailand's a little more dangerous China's super safe Thailand can you can get you can get with a little bit but it's relatively safe it ain't like any worse than here really the only thing you got to worry about a little bit is cops more oh really Thailand yeah they're probably no Muay Thai you up maybe but yeah I walked around the streets and even the small places and the big places

76:25yeah yeah I didn't really feel any danger did you go to Muay Thai fights I went to tie kickboxing fights yeah they just play this flute thing the whole time yeah it's annoying sound and they each have a dance of their own like Sensei they have to do this special dance of their own Dojo well it's called I think it's called the white crew I think that's how they how they spell it I might have said it wrong yeah it's pretty dope they they have okay so you just walk down this like yeah explain what that is what the whole the whole little dance cuz people are like what the are they talking about they have to do this they introduce each person and then as they're both in there I think they do it together maybe one at a time I'm not really sure they just do this act out dance where they just sort of like kick a knee up yeah and then do like fake clinch yeah spin kick and stuff but just

77:21by themselves not at anybody and then they do that for a while they go all the way down to like one knee with one foot way behind watch these guys at the same time these are the hardcore guys they're doing a lot more of these matches you see see these guys wraps on their hands they're going to fight bare knuckle see this is a it's not totally bare knuckle you have wraps but they're not going to wear gloves and there's quite a few fights that are taking place where guys are fighting like this now I'm wondering if it's uh an impact of uh MMA being more popular oh really yeah because the ones I saw had had these thick boxing gloves on this this guy I follow on instagr St sanchai he's a bad and he um he just fought the other night with um those those gloves on where the wraps rather no gloves and I was like wow he's doing those fights like the top some of the

78:08top tie guys are doing these fights rope around their their head it's just sort of like this is all ceremonial right now well it's a it's not just they do the spin things with their hands no it's it's also a warmup see when you watch what he's doing here when he bends his knee down and picks his foot up he's stretching his his hips oh he stretch ing um like all the muscles around his upper leg it's it'll make it more loose for kicking so he's loosening up see all the power in your kick yeah comes from weight but it comes from your hips a lot of it is like The Swinging of the hips and the engaging of the hips when you throw kicks so what he's doing is like it's conducive to warming up that area where you going to light someone's legs up oh they're both doing it see how they're both doing it it's a warmup a warm up for their own but it's also spiritual like so dude you have you have

78:56these uh so you're walking down the street and you see an alley and you just go down to the alley and there's just a ring in the middle of it and maybe a pool table and like four like makeshift bars around it wow there like like like it almost looks like a lemonade stand at the Rose Bowl swap meat you know and then you just get booze some people come around taking bets like who do you want wow and then if you pick the right guy you can bet whatever bet you want and they'll just pay it off dude this is a beautiful art yeah I love Muay Thai it's beautiful but see like that he was doing one-legged squats yeah and when you're doing that you're just trying to warm up yeah he's just trying to warm up his hips and they're right next to each other too and they're about to beat the out of each other it's so weird they're all real respectful I didn't see any I went to a couple different ones

79:42they these weird promoters these are just back alley things and they just get like you know 50 people to show up well they they they're the same way though even when they're world champions it's really interesting yeah I've seen world championship fights where the two fighters get but I've also seen animosity I watched this fight in La where bua was fighting this guy and bua I think his name was par pit it's like their name part of their name is uh what the gym that they're fighting out of but I think his his actual name is bua I think I'm not sure either way he's a bad like a world champion world class TIE fighter and he fought this dude who was really dis respectful to him so he did this like very violent and aggressive dance towards him and yeah it was very different it's very different than i' had ever seen before where he' like launched arrows at him and and like

80:38had all this like choreograph but it was like directed towards this guy then they fought and he him up he lit him up he he shot the arrows at him and and also him up well he fak shot the arrows during his dance but when they fought he the dude up he was likeed out the trash he well cow's on he's on a very high level as a TIE fighter and there's a lot of Fighters who are maybe aggressive and athletic and they hit really hard and they overestimate their ability and they just think they're a bad they've knocked a bunch of guys out they're going to fight bu cow they're going to knock this out too like people have this idea in their head but you get in there with that guy and you realize like oh okay this I can't even hit him and he's every time I move he's killing my legs every time I come close to him his knee is getting buried into my rib cage he's elbowing me in the head

81:27on the break and then smiling at me and doing it all over again he's going to keep doing it and your body's going to start breaking down and that's what happened he just started beating the out of this dude like those guys were getting a little aggressive there yeah he was he got get the wave off this is what lasting way longer than anything I saw yeah these guys love each other I think I think they're going to start making out I think Jamie just tricked us into watching some gay porn it's going to start off that's why they have the gloves on fist each other with those things so um but yeah I like sh man I saw probably 10 fights the first time wow and then in Chang maai I probably saw another uh I saw another probably seven eight fights what was the fight where you and Duncan were in the crowd at the UFC and you timed it perfectly I don't know who was fighting it was wrestling

82:17fight Nate markwart and Brad tarz yeah powerful memory how do I remember that how do I remember that my wife would tell me some yesterday I'm like you never said that meanwhile she totally talked for like 10 minutes about it really but Nate marquart versus Brad dvar is deep in the memory there's this that's it Nate marquart Brad tarz and then s the they close and when the camera came to them they made out look at Frosty dying dying laughing how dare you how dare you was so we're starting to throw we're starting to throw uh Illuminati signs up for Illuminati signs we made a big one with my whole forearm and and forarm and his both giant triangles and then he goes at some point Duncan's like we we kept taking it up a notch and at some point he just leans to me and he goes you know we got a kiss right and I was like yes you're right oh dude and so I'm watching a

83:12fight and Duncan's staring at the monitor the whole time just staring waiting for it to come on us and then at some point he just goes now that's why I just had to turn and start making out yeah we got to be careful about that folks what get me in trouble oh I know the UFC didn't even care they thought it was funny Dana wrote me the next day Dana's an animal he doesn't give a I didn't know if him met but he goes you two were quite the social media Stars this morning but look it ain't a bad thing it's funny you didn't do anything wrong like Dana's a regular person you know like for having a a guy who's the president of like the Illuminati sites you guys are so oh my God that is so stupid we're children we're in our 40s the is wrong with us said people he thinks legit think that he's in the Illuminati of course they do they think I am too they think I'm a Satan worshipper cuz I

84:06went to that uh that performance that he did at that guy's funeral or funeral funeral this is where my mou is just a show birthday party oh the wedding th remember someone's wedding it was uh one of the L Anton Le's like he performed at one of his like birth birthday party to the dead grandfather oh really had a show I wasn't there for that one but Duncan did little hobo yeah it was it was so bizarre it was just so strange the I ran into a bunch of people I knew there too really yeah oh you guys are quite the Satanist huh yeah hm well they weren't really Satanist one of them was hired it was Dave Foley's wife at the time oh yeah I was like oh hey what's up she was there there was a bunch of people didn't we run into some other Comics there too I was at the wedding you didn't go to that wedding it just me and Duncan and Joey Joey went Eddie Bravo went too yeah

84:59we were like what the is this wasn't was it some party what necessarily was a wedding it was like six I don't know whatever I met a guy Hank third was there too that's it was Williams thir yeah yeah oh that's cool yeah I I didn't get to meet him but I like his music it's really crazy yeah and he was awesome he got country Roots too oh deep he was awesome in that wild and wonderful Whites of West Virginia that was a good movie holy they were red next oh my God but he was great in it too you know like and he's like helping narrate it and talk to the uh the jessco the dancing Outlaw what a bunch of awesome awesome strange people they run too huh well sort of I mean they're only getting arrested boys they're the real Duke boys yeah yeah like the Duke boys were supposed to be like these Heart of Gold Moonshiners don't want to their cousin I'm not buying it I would be like we're only

86:02cousins look at this she's nobody's Daisy okay she can't get a goddamn boyfriend she's running around CU she likes Cletus she likes Cletus she can she make it more obvious she's cut the legs off her shorts so you could just finger her on a swing she's there for you she's letting you know she's hacking her shorts like no girl ever before no girl ever done that ever even now it's like God damn and she was doing it when no one was doing it and she was wearing men's shirts like she just got done tied she tied man's shirt on like your shirt she could be wearing your shirt buttons down to the fifth button tied off on the bottom tit come on son she's got a man's shirt on why does that super hot girl have almost no shorts L Duke right that ain't number one bow and loop that's how dare you you don't even know your history show me the number two bow L that's you're right you're right

86:54that's him and it's been a while Tom woat man that hair those are the number twos no these are still samey God look at those shorts Jesus Christ she was hot this makes me nervous just looking at her you can see their junk in their pants yeah their dicks as hard as rocks oh my God they're right next to her and they're not even related to her it's not real you get did she have camel to on that she's got everything looks like the beginning of one just the beginning of vag outline everything you can see the SL yeah they had Grandma panties back then oh guess who doesn't care me are you a Pan's guy what do you mean you like uhing Stu I like when girls wear thongs I don't like granny panties I like when girls wear nothing yeah say it somebody's GTO what are you constraining yourself so they were Moonshiners with a heart of gold that never got any and they were

87:52beautiful men beautiful men and their hot cousin it was a show where no one it was the most ridiculous world it was way more ridiculous than the fact that they were shooting bows and arrows with with lightning with uh Dynamite at the end of it and they didn't have guns because they did time for running moonshine but the man should let them do what they do down here in Hazard County we got our own rules man that was a fun F nobody yeah you think Boss Hog would have had a slew of hookers she should have a line do that show now in reality like this is what it would be like well let's think about her she was the only hot girl on the show ever look who Jess sit next to dud one of the grossest women of all time that's his wife how dare you yeah how dare you he would have been wonderful woman in a unle Jessie would have been her he would have been her Uncle Jesse would have her everybody would

88:42her Cletus scooter Boss Hog definitely would have had pay he would have had her on the payroll she' been riding right next to him that Cadillac with the bullhorns in the front of it but she came on to the other guy oh c she was coming onus is gay as he uncomfortable by it cuz Jesus was strong in his life that's why Cletus didn't want to admit it that's now that's them now don't show me now don't do it to me just don't do it to me Jamie sh kill this thing you we're watching television now oh look at her sitting up on the her legs were so hot she was ridiculously hot watch just watching TV now but here's what's crazy about that show it was I mean was there another girl on the show ever besides like old ladies maybe she had like a rule in the contract she could be the only hot one yeah like listen I'm running was there I don't think there was ever another lady I watched it if I was

89:33running the Dukes of Hazard okay this why I'm not an executive producer but if I was running the Dukes of Hazard I would say okay why do we only have one hot chick are you guys out of your mind we need to bayat this up you would turn into porn if you were running it within two seasons they'll be like let's just hey BOS h no it's a comedy folks you should have more funny hot girls in the background do another maybe run another alternative story lines you you have a plot and a b plot this is the problem with Hollywood as soon as you get some heat now you're like let's put some more hot women in the sitcom you're ruining it no no no no no I'm trying to diversify I'm thinking a hot Indian woman that's what I'm thinking a really hot Indian woman you always get you think you're going to get it's that close to happening and she smuggling a shipment of jello and two of them have

90:21to maybe have some sort of B let's just make sure that punch is up when we write this together yeah everyone will be white everyone will be white we're making fun punch up we make fun of white men especially let's punch up okay it's important Ari this somebody recognized me in a in a island in in h Thailand said Eddie Bravo he takes mov TI classes there and said Eddie Bravo's got to teach a seminar on kosamu he was going to teach a no he was like please tell Eddie Bravo well what are you a messenger for Eddie Bravo tell that to get on Twitter like everybody else oh yeah come on they have the internet how dare you try to use you how about just say hello man tell me what you have a task what am I a carrier pigeon you huh what am I a raven you want to tie something to my ankle he help me teach me how to like get the kick out on my scooter I was like how do you and he goes

91:14AR you shafir I'm like yeah like Hey how do you kick the scooter thing out he goes here let me show you tell Eddie Bravo to come out here that would actually be really hot if you had uh like a girl who's was like a super hot girl who would carry a message to you tape to her ankle yeah and then what like it became a service a a messenger yeah you know how like um maybe like you would hire someone to be a clown at a birthday party or someone to show up at your dance uh show up at your uh office rather and do a dance for you on your birthday you know somebody got you a dancr instead of that you have hot girls show up like Ravens with a note attached to ankle and they have to put their leg up on your desk and untie the note and give it to you in some weird sort of semi stripper sort of situation and you you read this little scroll that someone had written out like old

92:08timey go way back go way back this how you going to this is going to how you you seal one of those wax seals that they have to stamp like has broken abs of course absolutely yeah yeah a wax seal around her ankle like just it's PR so maybe maybe a little hot wax got on her oh how did I feel in this message it was the okay I like it I like pain a little painan don't hurt me but a little wax a lot wax never heard anybody that would be a new service how much would you pay at least $5 extra well what I'm thinking is let's just concentrate on Ballers just we we move into belir and Beverly Hills where all these are driving million dollar cars and we just start running the former Miss Yugoslavia he's running from a Uprising in our country let's get crazy let's say each message cost it cost $11,000 to deliver a message in Los Angeles in that style mhm in that style $1,000 plus

93:03tips but you got to make sure the girls don't become hookers you don't they would be just become hookers y you've already done this for a th000 well I have 30,000 more if you'll come on into my castle how long have you been working for this agency you're so much hter than all the other girls who ever do this listen you don't need this have sit down I'll I'll call them a drink with me do you like music what kind of music you like how about R Kelly real talk real talk real talk I wish you would burn my clothes real talk have you heard real talk I heard it a long time ago it's maybe the greatest song Humanity's ever done the whole video series everything amazing oh the Trapped in the Closet you're thinking of the trapped in closet yeah trapped CL was pretty deep Oh Real Talk was the other thing real talk was one song was one one song in one music video what

94:00happened to R Kelly so he went a little crazy too then came back sh keep it on the deal bro he didn't do anything man nothing happened nothing happened peat on a girl like the girl was like 14 R Kelly has 40 more chapters of clap this isn't real this isn't real no oh my God that sounds like the onion R Kelly has 40 more chapters of tra in the closet planned he's amazing I hope he never dies wow I really hope he lives forever he might be my favorite person ever real talk there's a specific kind of crazy that's famous crazy where it's like no one will ever tell you don't be this crazy let's be honest it's also black famous crazy black famous crazy you couldn't pull that off if you're white guy you can't wear a clock around your neck and act like it's normal if you're black guys can pull off way more extravagance yeah you know like this is isn't racist I'm just being I'm just

94:55being real with you people says the guy with a Sumo sword on his desk somebody gave it to me samurai sword sumos don't have sword racist how dare you misappropriate culture oh my God you're a terrible person I always knew you're a racist you you hide behind the fact you're a Jew oh I'm so persecuted let me be racist Sumo and Samurai Sumo what's suumo oh the fat guys oh they got swords get swords my God the game and sumos you might have just made Sumo amazing made it relevant again the most amazing thing ever yeah just watching guys go to war okay how about fat guys going to war you're not allowed to stab through the body can you can hack them apart so guys would just be covered with scars oh their fat would be pouring out they get sliced open spilling you have to give them Shields no them no the bellies are their Shields you at least make it like dull swords how about no swords how about

95:52like okay what if you were playing like with lightsabers right but the lightsabers just shocked you oh but like a heavy like heavy shock yeah like a taser right like a Jason Ellis type shock yeah yeah that level but lightsabers yeah imagine if that that was a sport oh my God I might have just invented the perfect sport by the way Jason Ellis run with this yeah go for it dude for real I'll give it to you yeah go ahead I'll even help um have lightsaber tasers they should why don't they if they don't they're dude if if I was a girl and and a rapist came at me and I had a taser I'd be like but if I had a taser lightsaber I'd be like you're probably not going to continue with this right up you're going to get out of here yeah yeah anyone can touch you with something like a lightsaber like they might be able well depends on who you are obviously like if you're Steven Seagal

96:47he'll figure it out he'll be able to block it and flip you you never touch him with it any part of you touches it it shocks you yeah you'd have to just touch their feet like fake you're going low go high fake you're going high block at all any sort of block at it would be well anybody who knows fencing for sure you they would you up like fencers would be the most dangerous people ever on earth well imagine if you had one it was small and you could press a button like you do with a lightsaber and a rod extends like a metal rod cuz they have those things like those batons people be they you press a button it becomes a steel baton hazer Rod yeah dude wow what we 12 what's wrong with us we're grown men we pay taxes so you would press a button and it would just become electrified yeah that totally seems like it would be a real thing wow yeah they probably have that in development right

97:38how did they not if they don't they do now that Batman should have that yeah you should have that Superman will still him up that's why this movie is stupid I don't care what anybody says oh Superman well Batman's just going to put Kryptonite all over body and said Superman's going to go and make the world spin backwards so that Batman doesn't get the Kryptonite suit dummy he can make the world spin backwards all he has to do is stay like 100 feet away from Batman he can find out when he got the Kryptonite just keep spinning backwards so was like a month ago he would just pick up cars and throw them at Batman till he died just stop well he's not trying to kill him cuz he's all good but if he wanted to he could yeah that's the idea right everybody says you don't get it bro Batman's evil that's why he always wins listen Batman Ain evil listen even if he's evil the other guy's

98:30bulletproof shut the up he's an alien dude do you remember when we were saying people just get angry right now what you don't even understand comic books when I I did an Instagram post about that oh my God people were so mad at me people got mad why you taking the Fear Factor Guy seriously why are you taking me Ser you don't even know about comic books yeah that's right I don't know about the subject that you just said I don't know about I I barely barely know something about comic books for Star Wars all the superhero movies were exactly the same yeah they don't look good we got to pull power back we got to you got to guys got to check in we got to know about your powers govern gets mad other superheroes like I'll help pull their powers back superhero fight it was like it was it was a more than one preview right in Star Wars was that same movie The Last

99:24Avengers felt really stale really yeah because I saw it right after uh the Machina what is it x xina x makina which was excellent if you haven't seen exmachina it's a movie about artificial intelligence and it is beautiful it is a perfect movie I wouldn't change a thing about that movie that movie was so good the ending wasn't like boring long no no no no no that movie was amazing that movie was like wo because the the reality of these things of this artificial intelligence this guy had created was feasible really yeah it was good it's really good the The drama's Good the whole thing is good it's just so good and then after that I went to see The Avengers I was like this is so stupid I'm like this movie is so dumb this is like I'm watching The Dukes of Hazard take place with with superheroes it just was like it didn't mean anything yeah like xming a everything meant something like the

100:25these people their interactions yeah their interactions felt real the there's there's some real palpable tension there's like real danger they're being played by these artificial creatures that they've created that look exactly like people it's good man it's good that's why Star Wars to me was like H whatever I love Star Wars it was just like a B minus fun movie A+ A+ no real characters five stars I'll go 10 times I loved it I did love it man I have I think almost exact opposite taste in movies as you and a lot of music too you like a sucky sucky selection of music you like a lot of the chick rock that I like quiet about it don't tell anybody that I'm blasting n Nelly forado bro I like a little Nelly she's got a beautiful voice I'm like when I mentioned Lana DED you were like um all right hey who is that girl you were talking about before dude I I picked up Eddie Bravo once and this girl

101:30that he was dating way back in the day and I had Cheryl Crow playing in my truck yeah and uh she's like why are you playing this if it makes you have something I L it I'm like this is mine this is mine she goes no it's not I go yeah it's a CD I got it the CD she like no you do not listen to this music I'm like but I do so I don't know where we're going with this never spoke to her again how rude how rude Eddie Bravo bringing these barbarians around yeah you can't like chick Rock otherwise you're some kind of a yeah it's weird I don't care I used to have my CDs uh uh alphabetized and I would have them separated by chick singers and male singers have you ever heard of Grace Potter in the Nocturnals heard of them haven't listened to it dude that girl's got a voice well you know about Alabama Shakes right no oh Joe well let's let's kiss one person at a time no no they're thought they're so

102:30much bigger but yeah this Grace powder yeah they're pretty massive now yeah I think she's pretty big too we don't know dude we're out of the loop I know I know Alabama sh you don't even have a phone you got some 1980 Morris code thing in your pocket I don't even get it doesn't even vibrate when I get a text now of course it doesn't if it's in my phone in my pocket I don't even know if people texting me and then 5 hours later where are you I need this information I was like oh I don't know I was walking oh God that's hilarious yeah I got to only vibrate when it rings and that's it yeah I only notification I went through a cluster when my phone upgraded yeah and went from text messaging to sending um iMessages yeah and then I turned the iMessage off but then people were still sending me iMessages and I was getting them on my computer but I wasn't getting

103:16them on my phone I'm like this is so stupid like this system is so goofy like how do you opt out of this how do you just I want everything in one place I don't need it going everywhere I don't need to be getting phone calls on my computer when I'm sh when I put my phone over there I want to be able to get like the voicemails later I don't want to see it on my computer when I'm working so what do I have to do now I have to disable this and I go why is this set there by default why is my phone making my computer ring by default can I get some done yeah godamn it ARA yeah it's always infringing it's always infringing in your day get into the B check Twitter it's been 4 minutes listen what if there's a new response the B calls you your resistance is futile Independence what here's my real thing I think it's going to get better but I don't think we've developed an etiquette

104:06around phones yet you say that until you have four legs every girl wants to blow you once you get that four-leg upgrade girls don't even know why something about them four legs just life looks up it did get way easier matter Jam say what about uh the Twitter uh news of the weekend where they might be uh changing some free or Free Speech stuff they pulled away verification from well they they pulled away Milo verification they pulled his verification away why they said that well they don't say exactly violation of terms of service so now he's no longer verified exactly but he's still allowed to post so they're not some posts are saying if it's offensive they'll delete your account right well they he's not see he's not being being any more look here's a problem with that guy and it's not a bad problem he's funny and a lot of what he's doing is theater like and

105:02if he gets you riled up especially if he has a point and I think he has a point with a lot of the things he's picking on he's not dumb he's very smart and so he's getting people riled up like a professional troll who's also a very bright guy who writes some pretty good articles I would say really good articles some he writes for Breitbart he's like he's is he's a conservative um writer he's a conservative I guess blogger I guess you would call him he wouldn't say he's a journalist he's more of a you know he writes editorials he writes just pieces right but he's also gay like gay as and conservative and he goes in debates with these feminists and just crushes them with facts and they can't attack him because he's gay so he has he has the uh punch down card the immunity he's got this weird loophole and he knows what the he's talking about I mean I don't agree with him on some things

105:54but he's a very bright guy so when he finds someone that he can pick on especially like he's really into picking on feminists and calling them out on their hypocrisy and picking on people that just I mean he'll he'll go across the board with anybody if he thinks you're being ridiculous yeah and he makes a big deal out of it so so then what people got mad at what he was well he'll say I don't you know he'll say things to rile people up he'll say offensive things but guess what you you block them I think it's I think it's enjoyable Twitter becomes weird where it's like you you have a bunch of followers who follow you you say something funny uh on the offensive side instead of on the cute side um you'll get retweets if it's on the cute side or offensive side so now the retweets go to people who don't follow you and they might not even know who you are so they go like what the

106:39is that supposed to mean who's this guy you know and they don't see any context they don't see it's one out of 10 Tweets in a row about a subject uh so then they see and then they get mad and they flag it and then the people don't know they like I it's been flagged 7,000 times I guess people are mad at this guy we got to ban him well yeah especially it's just a terrible road to go down yeah if there's if you're doing a a series of of like yeah you know you show one it's like oh you're not even looking at the context exactly yeah that can definitely happen so they took away his verified I actively try to not be verified but here's what I'm saying they they up because now you have you've made him a martyr like you're go he's you're playing right into his spiderweb why is Twitter getting involved if he's any level celebrity which he seems like he is if he's a

107:20known writer then he's a known wrer on my he was great on the podcast yeah he's hilarious he's he's a nut you know like I said I don't agree with him about a lot of things but I like what he's doing it makes me laugh like he's what is the difference between what he was doing what he's doing and what a lot of like funny humorous journalists have done what about feminists say something in Earnest that I think is like offensively wrong anti-free speech and it gets me angry I don't try to get them banned from it yeah I don't mind but I don't mind because it hasn't affected me I mind I just don't want to stop them from saying it I mean it hasn't affected me on a professional level like and if it has it's my fault you know anything that I've ever been affected by like if I made a mistake it's clearly been my fault I've made definitely some errors but I think there's a difference between

108:10like I think what what to make those decisions not for them to make them for you well bothers you know when getting back to that guy in Vancouver that uh that had a pay 15 Grand what bothers me about any any interaction between two people that like one person said something rude or who knows what exactly went down yeah that money starts being a thing that's thrown around because then the government gets their piece too by the way oh right so they're on the side of like sure you should be able to suit they also get their peace because of the trial like these court costs everything has to get factored in I don't know exactly how it works in Canada but if it was in the United States mik Ward is in serious he's he's out a lot of money in his own in his own lawyer fees cuz he's fighting it he has cash he's like a he's like a well-known French Canadian comic

109:01so he has his whole like French Canadian tour he can do and what which one was he what is Mike Ward is the one with um what you were talking about it earlier but that kid who had some disease supposed to die that's right okay that's right and he made a joke about that okay and it was a bit he had but like he's got to pay all his legal fees and try to like win this and he he could pay the 80 grand they're suing him for but he's like then it's set such a terrible precedent so he's just in his own battle on free speech saying I don't want to lose this for what it means it's I mean it's people like him shouldn't have said that joke that's of course he should have he got laughs a bunch of laughs he said enough times where there a there's a winning bit in his act yeah and you can't decide that you can't take well obviously they can but you should cele be able to take money away from

109:48people like that yeah I mean you might want to say you don't want to ever go to one of his shows again that's what you should do I hate I'm not going to Chick-fil-A the guy supports you know anti-gay stuff okay there you go that's how you speak with your own dollar exactly let let the market decide yeah you know I think that's uh that's the appropriate way to handle I I see directors that guy uh who did who did Pan Labyrinth uh guo Del yeah he's garbage now how dare you so then it's like once you realize that done with ar fear he used to be cool but now it's like awful and it's just he's gone sour so then it's like I just won't watch him anymore but of course go make whatever you want to make in well I wouldn't say went sour I still like it stuff you like The Hobbit that he wrote you like that last movie you didn't like it that last movie you didn't like it it looked like it was an

110:39acting class thing was it it was just like there was no acting there were the cabin thing High you think you were me when went to see it I mean I was probably pretty high but God it was such terrible acting and no plot and just like wait wait wait I'll show you some special effects in a little did you yell out no but I did leave did you I left quietly wow me and the girl I was left eventually were like it was like we both realized we've been both wanting to leave for about 25 minutes and then it was like yeah let's just go we maybe you just want to get your freak on you like that movie that new movie made L it did you really dude you have I can't I'm not even going to bring up the what the American cyer cuz I'm afraid of what you're going to say but like no no let's bring that up bring that up cuz I saw it so tell me you didn't like it it wasn't a good movie it wasn't a good

111:28movie it wasn't a good movie this is the thing no character development exactly I never got to like him so sud oh now he's having trouble sniping Suddenly It's good again why is this why is this scene in there the subject matter is highly charged and very very sensitive to people so anything that's thought of in disrespect of Chris Kyle people automatically get up in arms for I completely understand they start talking about his book and I'm like no I didn't read any of that I saw this awful movie I yeah I completely understand people's position in respecting him as a guy who kept uh people safe over there I understand where why on the phone with his wife half the movie when he's in battle he very angry what I was going to say is it's just not well done no it's not well done it's not it's just not that well done I mean this is my opinion I just felt like it was flat and this is like

112:17here's a good comparison I I hate to beat a dead horse but exmachina you watch exmachina and watch that movie and there's a way that it's shot there's a way the story's told like that story is a very compelling story it's kind of a crazy story Black Hawk Down was a good movie that was like Wow gripping and yes ex exactly and the Chris KY story you know would have been really Ryan was great how about tell like the truth about Chris Kyle's life like in towards the end where he was uh involved in that Jessie ventur thing which is really kind of crazy where he's making up a story about a fight with Jessie V that never happened so Jessie ventur sued him and won and then after he won he he he got Chris C got killed and Jessie ventor got all these death threats because he want to continue hero well he wasn't that much of a hero before he died he was just some guy

113:07who's lying about me well I think you can be both yeah yeah sure this is where things get really confusing iel Jackson raped boys I don't think he did I think he just jerked off in front of him and stuff like that yeah yeah may be right if he was raping him I just feel like that would have got out yeah maybe Ray I think he was just doing I bet it was weird parties and like maybe stro but definitely inappropriate boners you know if he could get one he got one I mean during that time period it's not my fault I'm turn on I mean he's got to find time to jerk off unless he's only jerking off in the shower it's not like I'm touching it happens they're over the house all the time and they're sitting in his lap and you know there's blood there sensitive tissue look how they playing video games with their asses in there that's not his fault that's not my fault I didn't tell like that he didn't

113:56I mean it's just love why Mario Kart everyone's so sensitive it's just love God the world could just be beautiful Super Mario Kart but listen to beat it exactly remember that oh yeah good times I'm going in the room with maau anyway whatever I don't know how we got on that how do we go that oh I just went with it what we were talking about some else before you can be two things at once yeah two things at once it doesn't mean he wasn't a hero those he saved yeah well think about what he did right he a great sniper right he saved American citizens that were over there fighting in the war against other people that were fighting against American citizens draw your con hold on a second draw your conclusion about who's right or who's wrong get that out of your head and he was trying to protect his friends right so whether or not you think that he should be on this team or that team

114:48or this team's bad and that team's good put all that aside he kept a bunch of people alive those people came back whether or not you think they should come back whether or not you think they should ever been there in the first place he definitely helped countless I mean it's probably actually proba but if this movie is about the French sniper or about a sniper in a world doesn't exist you wouldn't good movie yeah it's not a good movie the longest shot he ever took was like 2,000 yards I don't remember the numbers anymore and then and then he heard so and so Mustafa was getting shots that long he's like it's possible I've shot that but that's the longest I've ever shot and then when he shoots him at the end it's twice as far as the longest shot he's ever heard of he can't even see the guy you just see a blur and he goes I know it's him it must be I have a feeling yeah and then he goes yep

115:32got him you can't even see him you know how do you know how do you know you made the twice as long as any shot that's ever been recorded without being able to see it you just know you you made it yeah you need a spotting scope for 200 yards you know people look at a Target that's 200 yards away you look down the spotting scope to see where you're hitting on the target cuz like it's not that good to see how the scope like you're a rifle scope from 200 yards which is nothing it's only two football fields it was just but here's the question though what um is it also a factor of you're telling a real person story with as little variation from the truth as possible over a an acceptable period of time a two-hour movie or whatever it is yeah it's hard to do sure but they didn't do a good job of it they did a terrible job of it but it would have been incredibly difficult to

116:22do even if they did a great job okay and let's just back up a second um best actor yeah that's that's not real I mean come on he he looked like he you could tell when he was doing lines he was he had a rubber baby and I knew the for rub baby obvious but he moving the rubber baby with his finger his you can go yourself okay I'm not a kid what you doing a magic trick that I can see hey what what I'm going to stick this thing to my hand you're shoving in your wrist at the same time look my thumb's coming apart bulging in your shirt the hanky still sticking out a little bit God I mean even the beginning when he finds his his girlfriend and B with another guy throws out and they're having that talk he's drinking a beer it's like dude not even a real person this is acting class I can see you doing lines it's he's not a real person he's behaving in this incredible exemplary

117:11way like a hero he's in practice he's a beautiful hero he's a perfect hero and we can't believe he's gone I mean that's what he is he's a hero he's not fight with his girl and he stands up and they're like you just tell that the directors in the background feel it more no feel it more yeah let this hit you you love America this is happening to you feel it more what's the problem whenever you try to dramatize anything you know that movie Fox catcher is a cluster of Lies do you know that movie that's based on Mark Schultz and David Schultz Olympic wrestlers they were uh very famous American Olympic champion wrestlers they were both beasts and there was this crazy guy named John Dupont and John Dupont had a lot of money it's like the deont name and he was a crazy man and he wanted to wrestle so he hired all these guys and built them this incredible worldclass training

118:01facility and paid them and these guys were struggling wrestlers they went down there and uh one of the guys Dave wound up getting murdered by dupon and it was this crazy story and Steve Carell played him in the movie but the movie although it was a good movie The Reality was way off way off like they changed the timeline of the UFC they they they had the the UFC existing like way way before it did I'm less concerned with that than if it's a movie then unless they say it's like a actual biography yeah you I'm less concerned with that than than if uh like in narcos I'm like yeah some of this is based on truth some of this just like they didn't know the relationship between this guy and this girl yeah but they didn't have to fake the that's like historic date why did they fake it cuz they're idiots what benefit did this plot it's somebody's thinks they're smarter than everyone

118:48who's going to know the truth which is the dumbest thing to to think you should never think if you're going to talk about a subject like the UFC which to a person like you I know you're a fan and definitely a person like me it's offensive as when you try to pretend it's started at a different date then when you watch him watch on television watch Big Daddy Goodridge fight but then when he fights in the movie he fights some White Russian guy he fought Big Daddy goodr Mark Schultz fought Big Daddy goodr I watched it he he beat his ass he took him down at will and I remember watching it going Jesus Christ this is what happens you get Elite Olympic gold medalist world champion wrestlers like I was thinking to myself who the is going to keep that guy off of him that guy could have been a world champion for sure he nobody would no he was in the UFC fought Big

119:34Daddy goodr in the UFC but there was no money back then and he had a gig with uh he was teaching wrestling at a college and not paid more well was coach he's a a wrestling coach like a university gig I mean he's a really respected wrestler and they didn't want him cage fighting so they told him like this is it like you have to make a decision so he had to go with the the the obvious job cuz there was no money in the UFC back then it's really dangerous but they changed the movie those days in the movie they had him fighting in some unknown organization it was in the UFC and the guy was a White Russian guy who was fighting like why would let me ask you a question could this be the reason they changed it because what the UFC means right now is like this massive thing so they go well viewers if they saw this like yeah UFC that's really big how could it give up UFC where you're

120:18like no no you need to be in the place back then of this was just a rogue thing people just did it like to mix you know what I mean like when they have cursing in in Deadwood it's like yeah they didn't have that then but you're not going to understand the cursing they actually had did they have cursing back then they had like rap scallion and and so it like wouldn't hit as hard as it as it hit back then scallion yeah so they had to change the reality to make it the feeling of the reality could you imagine if you were doing a comedy show in the wild west and someone tried to Heckle you what kind of damage you do to that guy what kind of damage you could do to him ver cursing now yeah Rock scallion you're a yeah you whoa you're angry get out of here boy you're you're angry and this not even a real person we're talking about think about it God you all worked up man peashooter

121:04Jesus Christ Beat It Russy sturup and then he brings you in front of the tribunal and you have to give up three pieces of gold chck up three pieces of gold gold shaffir what is going to happen man are we going to go Bitcoin you think I got to get Antonopoulos back on it's been a while he probably tell me again I'll I'll believe him again by the time I come back here in two years I don't know how to spend Bitcoin how to spin it spend it spend it hm that's a problem if you don't know how to spend your money you probably look into it but if you don't have this ancient phone you have to be plugged into your laptop with some sort of ethernet cable don't you you got some 1970s laptop too don't you you a MacBook Pro that doesn't even have a USB port does it which one doesn't have a USB port no they do dude they have one that doesn't they don't have cd drives

121:54anymore no one of them doesn't even have a USB port there's a real skinny one oh the air no it's not even the air it's it's the like it's not the air Google that son iPads don't have them I know that yeah iPads don't have them USB ports which one's USB port USB is where you would plug things in you know like if you were uh trying to syn your phone up to it or something like plug your phone in by USB or if you want to save something on a drive they didn't have the USB port how you Port no it has like little battery thing Sticks no to charge your phone you don't don't with your laptop maybe it can't handle it maybe it can't handle the power draw because it's so thin like it only exists like as something that you can store things in the cloud yeah which is where they're trying to sneak you they're trying to bring you bless you do you still accept bless you even

122:42though you're not religious anymore or did I just defend your sensibility did I trigger you in any way you hurt me you hurt me and I don't it's not uh what's your correct gender pronouns for today I am uh he today I'm going by he he I go by he every day I'm going to try Z out for a while z z z he e e that's what is that is that a new one gender neutral G gender neutral oh it's kind of like she he you could be whoever you want z h e I'm just R oh why does it have to be my exactly why do you have to say Mis what do we formal huh might check appropriation of words are using it's like no one has to say that that's just what they've been saying I think they uh you need to be able to control what people say I love when people like on some sort of standup and they go oh what is that all you can talk about it's like that's not all they can talk about that's one little sentence in this whole

123:32bit that's part of a whole special it's clearly not all they can talk about yeah but if I'm going to make fun of it that's what I'm going to say say this all you can talk about bro you'd like Drag Me to Hell too huh loved it oh me and red B went to see uh up and we were so happy and Rogan and sagur were like you up should have seen Drag Me to Hell and I finally saw it I'm like this movie could even make up mind whether it's a comedy or perfect you weren't high enough and you didn't go see it with me come to see it you me and Duncan would see Drag Me to Hell we would love it love it we would have the best time did you ever see up yes cartoon yeah um I liked up up was good it was interesting but it was sad it was sad those first 10 minutes are beautiful yeah it's interesting you saw what won best comedy last night at the Golden Gloves no the Martian oh yeah how did

124:18that work Martian win best comedy how does that work how does the Martian win best comedy it's a comedy or musical category and I don't know how it gets why are they still in comedy or musical they so offensive to both comedy and musical that's not a comedy and it's not a musical listen award shows are stupid just call it other they're stupid award shows are St how did the Martian win best comedy they're stupid oh because he made some he he kept it lighthearted sometimes trying to why is one the best what you know one like we've already established right here between you and I the I love that you hate yeah yeah but I genuinely love star war like I walked out there going yes they did it I walked out like they nailed it they upgraded the original movie and made it fit in today and they did it with great acting and a great storyline it was perfect it was very Star Wars s you hated it see I

125:07didn't hate it but it's just like I thought it was like a bee okay let's let's pick he's good it was a fun movie tell me some other movies that you've seen recently so Star Wars what have's let's compare uh hate Fil-A no way you saw that I haven't seen that um uh I don't see that though bad Max how dare you Mad Max I enjoyed Mad Max yeah me too I thought it was really good fun Chase movie absolutely you know Eddie Bravo hated it he hated it there were none of those points there was none of those points where I'm like this wouldn't exist in that world they set up I'm like that wouldn't happen in Star Wars the world they set up it's like why does she suddenly have Jedi Powers with no training well because there's thing called editing there's probably a bunch of scenes were on The Cutting Room floor that explain her powers spoiler alert at this point in Star Wars everyone's seen

125:50it you should really say spoiler alert first you really up um we're already we're already open she just got it a little too fast and then it's like well no she was the chosen one like oh like Luke Skywalker to study for a month with a Yoda to get any of his powers well chicks learn quicker and they have no chicks don't learn quicker in their world and they have that if you don't get it from as a kid you're never going to get it well there's a thing called morphic re resonance and they think that like as people learn things becomes easier for other people to learn things we all learn together but she beat up it's I beating up a stormtrooper with it been studying with the head guy she had a guy who's been studying under the main Gracie and she was like I just sort of get Jiu-Jitsu and I think I can beat this guy who's been studying under the main Gracie BJ Penn won the World

126:36Championships three years in weird happens man was training though he wasn't just like heard AIT you know what you don't realize that she was using the force but she was probably using it all along it was a fun movie you saw first week right what's first week did you first see the first week or two was out oh yeah saw at that point it was the same as the other movie when it came out episode one where everyone's like me too were like yes this was way better than those but it was like not as good as people were remembering how dare you were you in a theater when they clapped when they saw the Millennium Falcon um I clapped yeah all right almost that was a brainwash week I almost cried I know oh I hope they do the other thing that they've already done the showed up my heart filled with joy oh I like that that was fun that was fun I like that a lot that was great with chewing like

127:20we're home like yes I like that a lot they up in that regard right what spoiler alert no there's no spoiler alerts anymore they have their chance it's been a month don't say it what if people like Fast forwarded and they get to the part where we say Han Solo got killed dude there is a guy that I saw a picture of and somebody's you know those uh things you can put in the back of your truck like the Smith family right you put Han Solo dies in this in the force awakens how rude in the Star Wars F that's so rude that's really rude just driving around it's big spoil alert spoil alert awesome movie I'm done with these spoil alerts you have a chance right then to get on it or you're done I already knew I already knew going in to see the movie it had already been spoiled and forget it had already been spoiled for me but I still enjoyed the you knew he was going out there to

128:08die I knew he was going to die when he walked out on that platform like what you obviously you're going um shoot him yeah okay why don't you shoot your stupid son late term abortion son ready to come up you're worst case scenario you're one of the coolest guys of all time loved by millions and your son you just turned out to be evil went to the dark side happens oh by the way you had a son with Princess Leia so you get to Princess Leia you know what you think a match made in heaven he's super heroic swash buckler with a giant Bigfoot by his side and the hot princess and they get together and and they make an evil baby that winds up Killing Daddy yeah that's that is how much did it make you laugh when when that guy finally took off his Adam Driver finally took off his helmet and you're like what there's a beautiful citic man he looked like an awesome magician

128:57oh my God I me there was giggling where it's like what I like how he describ as atic man he's gorgeous and that's there's no way those are his parents he's a gorgeous Jew wow AR Hot For That Guy what's his name kylo Ren is that his name kylo Ren that was Jamie Jamie back me up on that that was ridiculous when he pulls off his helmet you're like who's this evil guy why Jamie back you up I'm right here bro I'm not leaving you alone you didn't think that done oh it was ridiculous perfect hair how does your hair stay perfect out of that why isn't it sweaty there' be no hat hair why don't you have hat hair it's a full helmet you have a beautiful head of hair as soon as you pull it off it's like you just got got have a blowout he get his hair all blown out like he's on the set you know he pulls his sweaty metal helmet off do you know much you be sweating in that stupid thing while

129:41you're all killing people yeah I mean he's killing people he's running around he's grabbing them and crushing them he's hacking things up with his sword remember that yeah I like how they I did like how they met beautiful J Christ manful that's that Princess Leia and if that guy what's his name what's that guy's name who's the actor Harrison Ford did not give birth to that listen if that guy acts like a dick to girls and just bangs him and never calls him back it's not his fault no it's not his fault look at him he's got powers he's got superpowers the force is strong with him like for real like the force to bang chicks it's very strong he might abuse it he could get away from him driver can you make your looks more pouty before we do this take yeah he's beautiful it's a ridiculous movie but I loved it I do like the the the the theories of like there'd be Storm Troopers who like wait

130:29I'm not feeling this I like the way they handle it it's like we keep checks on them all the time this one I don't know how this one got through isn't it interesting that the first storm troper we see without a helmet black guy quitter you're saying the the first Stormtrooper no the first well the first quitter but like they didn't concentrate on Stormtroopers any stor Troopers without helmets maybe but nobody paid attention to them the first one they pay attention to is a black guy yeah interesting diversity diversity I don't look look that that is a case I think Star Wars is a case where you can make the argument that even though they might have gone towards diversity they nailed it the woman's a perfect superhero and the man who's a stormtrooper part of me like this doesn't seem like the right race or this doesn't seem like the right gender both of them seem totally fine actors I was

131:16honestly hoping that the fighter pilot and the Stormtrooper had a gay affair cuz it seemed like they were they were really close oh like the way they hugged yeah the way they hugged they had like a deep Embrace oh how you been man it's a deep Embrace they were so happy to see each other so happy it was a lot like um when that movie um uh what is the cowboy movie where they go gay when yeah broke Back Mountain Brokeback Mountain it's almost like when those two hadn't seen each other for a while and they just start just got together and they just dove into each other's arms and went after it passionate yeah I mean they lived through life and death out there with laser beams and people shooting at them they survived they crash landed together there's a bond with people they say that when people form relationships after traumatic events like like if you met someone during 9/11 and like you

132:05grabbed her come with me and you grabbed her hand and you you ran and you guys both barely got out of the building and the building collapsed and you got in a car and got away together and then she's crying and she stays in your apartment you wind up falling in love your relationship will be super intense cuz it's always going to connected to this one like really powerful event like Christy Brinkley apparently had a situation like that where she was in a helicopter crash with this dude and then wound up marrying the dude and then it fell apart got crazy doesn't you could live with him you just feel like we're together baby we're supposed to survive this together and you the the bond that you have cuz you sort of imprint on this moment yeah like you ever go somewhere where like you had a really bad time and you're around that area even it's 10 years later like still

132:47feel shitty about it yeah I remember this place yeah deep emotional connection with somebody it's like yeah I have emotional connections with clubs where I bombed like I'll go by like like if I went by some places in Boston I'd be like oo I remember eating dick up there you want to eat there restaurant now you're like I can't I can't eat here yeah that's nothing like people can develop some serious emotional connections to areas they had that Tom Cruz movie that was actually good that nobody saw um oh was that good oh yeah where he kept going back in time oh wait a minute oh that was was really good really good I think everyone already given up on him from the last one so but that was good and they handled everything right like if that was happen this would happen like oh there it is it is but he had that girl that he kept trying to fall in love with and he

133:29figure out oh if we get to this stage in yesterday we will fall in love and let's just stay here and stay in love as long as possible that's beautiful yeah that's what I'd like I Ain never got to beat these like to work out like that those aliens were cool though they were really original robot aliens yeah they were weird sort of mechanical transforming alien things that just like they were like they were awesome cuz they were so creative like I'd never seen anything that I go oh that's like this yeah they drop them like cannonballs and as soon as they hit the ground they're just like these like like uh squids like maybe the coolest aliens in a movie ever and then these people are shooting at them and it's like oh you guys are done you have no chance yeah they morphed and changed the maybe pull a video up so you can see what that uh that scene was like cuz

134:13it's cool to see the uh that's looks like an illustration too that's like a Frank fretta looking thing do you know who Frank forette is no Heathen you know nothing who is he CER this amazing uh artist uh who used to do uh Conan the Barbarian really yeah pull before we go to this pull up Frank fretta Conan just school this sad man Frank fretta Conan where where do you see this image this guy was the in like the 70s oh wow go with the one right next to it to the left of that that's the classic One Go full screen on that That's a classic classic painting W that's a real Barbarian dude that's Conan the Barbarian that's what got me into those books with a girl a naked woman at his feet on standing on top of a Jesus yeah stand top of Blood and Bones and meat and he's got a hot girl doesn't give a she's lying on the blood while he's got a sword in I just want to hold on to your he's

135:15covered in scars too he's got scars all over his face all over his arms that was what got me into Conan these images by Frank fretta cuz they created this Superman this Sumerian Barbarian he loves having girls at his of course he does that's the only reason why to fight with a sword son why else if you're not going to get they understood it back then let's go to this one right now sexist go a little bit to the right right we both know bam sexism forward full alive he came in her 34 times that's why her stomach sticks out no that's come she's got her her vagina is so full of it's like pushing forward on her abdominal wall that can cause hernas shooting lows in her and killing people look that was back before they even knew what sixpacks were and he had a six-pack no one had a sixpack in the 70s that guy they had perfect bodies they were bigger than any bodybuilder

136:13time pretty cool pretty cool paintings well when Conan uh was played by Arnold Schwarzenegger everybody like that's what everybody recognizes you know but Dar but the character in the fretta drawings was much more was it was a comic ship before no no no no it was a book a series of books by a guy named Roberty Howard and Roberty Howard is this really fascinating guy they did a movie about him and the dude from one of those cop shows the guy from um you know the dude from Full Metal Jacket amazing actor from Full Metal Jacket who played the guy who shot himself the the guy who get bullied he goes crazy he's amazing what is his name V thank you sorry Vincent he's amazing he's he's amazing actor um what was I going to say he's in it he's in it what what the were we just talking about yeah Conan no he plays Roberty Howard that's what it is he plays Roberty Howard in um a biography on Roberty

137:09Howard's life in a movie and I didn't see the movie but Roberty Howard was supposed to be this like really strange guy who lived with his mom and he shot himself I think when he was like 36 yeah so he had this like is that it the whole wide world he had you know some serious mental issues for sure but he also he he wasn't healthy and so he had uh imagined this this Superman this Uber Munch who was destroying people back in this fictitious world that he created that supposedly was a long time ago but who knows you know it was like these these countries that never existed and they were doing battle and there Witchcraft and demons and monsters and then there was this Barbarian usurper this king who became a king by you know killing everything in his path he was like this indestructible man that's Conan the Barbarian and so robery Howard sort of created this guy who's the

138:03antithesis of what he was he was this frail guy who lived with his mom he's a and he just he he wrote with this longing about this guy just this lust for adventure everything killed everything always survived he was just this Uber man that you know like the greatest of all time this giant man who Moved like a panther who like had a mind of like a steel trap he would never show weakness he you know he always was ready to die but never did so he wrote all these really badass books they were really wild as like probably now if I read them I'd be like what am I reading but when I was 11 they were the really did you get the sex stuff um sort of I kind of get you know I mean it wasn't like he put his hard in her it wasn't like that kind of stuff it was like romantic you know like it was more about like cleaving heads and and the the the gore him being covered with Gore

139:01and bits of senu cover the glistening blade as he slices through the attackers cool you know and then they realized like how they had up and tried to do battle with Conan and everybody died everybody died by Conan but it was just this for a 12-year-old kid or whatever the I was when I guess I was probably like that age when I got into it it was amazing it was like you know cuz you're a boy like first of all no one's going to let you see that you're like a 12-year-old boy yeah they don't show it in movies they cut away from yeah you don't really even like today they do like today if you watched um like a recent Barbarian movie like there was show did you see Jason Mamoa have you seen him play Conan no he's the guy from Game of Thrones oh the real tall one yeah the well the really built handsome guy that dies early this dude dude is a cool I ran into him uh recently at Whole Foods he

139:55couldn't be cooler I've ran into him with the UFC before too he's just a really nice really friendly guy who uh you want to hate him cuz he's a little too beautiful yeah little too beautiful A Little Too Tall but he was my favorite alltime Conan because he that's what Conan is supposed to be built like maybe he do it on TV show no he did a movie it was it was a kind of a movie unfortunately but um it's cool to watch anyway I enjoy yeah he's a good size for Conan like that would be like what Conan would be built yeah you'd have a chance to win like every one of your hand to hand combat battles yeah he wouldn't be built like Arnold Schwarzenegger if you look at the fretta drawings like go to like the fretta one with the sword again the same the classic one it's a little bit over there right there bang so like the real Conan's like a little more built than him but that's probably because uh

140:43homeboy on the natch you know Jason mamo's that's actually what he's really built like Schwarzenegger was filled with 30 2 Mexican supplements in any given time you know when he played Conan I mean nobody's built like that when he was Conan I mean he had the most ridiculous body um Schwarzenegger yeah he was like number one in the world at like body right well he's slimmed down though he slimmed down towards the other ones like you see you kind of tell a difference between that one and the other one that you just God those mus are huge he so big and by the way that's small like right there like that's very slim in comparison like that a guy who's slimming down like that guy's built like Tyron Woody like the body of the the drawings yeah that's perfect actually that must have been one of the later movies so I think like he went from being the bigger bodybuilder so weird to

141:34see him with that chest and the sword and a backwards baseball cap on that's not a backwards baseball H right that's like a little helmet on where's go back up does he really have one yeah backward that almost looks like but it's a bandanna it could be a b it could be like a hillbilly with a sword who's really yolked really yoked hillbilly even when he slimmed down he was still massive you know even when he like got smaller but if you go back to his bodybuilding days when he was Mr Olympia holy he in my opinion out of all like um the bodybuilder Styles like there's a bunch of different styles like now guys are just massive and shredded like that guy yeah well that guy is um the guy on the left is um the his name multiple time Mr Olympia what the hell's his name those legs ew gross what is his name God damn it Jamie what does it say Ronnie Coleman Ronnie Coleman so that's not real Ronnie

142:31Coleman was many years later right 2002 so that's just a comparison to the two of them oh I see 1975 2002 see if you lift it up go back up again go back to that that image again please that's looks amazing there yeah but if you go back to that image the one yeah look at the difference in the legs that's the real difference Ronnie colan's legs are massive they're insane they don't seem real see Arnold's seem ridiculously muscular as well but real how does he wear shirts ran either of them they're waist are narrow why would you wear clothes if you're built like that just walk around those little grape Smugglers all day just let everybody know what the is up he can't stay like that for very long either that's the other thing you have to realize when you're looking at these athletes you should I call them athletes bodybuilders yeah I think they're a little bit different than an athlete I

143:21mean it's obviously their muscles get tired and they can't well yeah they're they're in a state of massive dehydration there oh they can't maintain that very long it's super dangerous when guys get um that that dehydrated like that they they can't hang on for very long they don't have much uh endurance you know you you feel like really tired all the time but that's how you get your skin really thin like a lot of those guys when they do that they're exhausted while they're doing it but they maintain a good face and flex W just crazy what people do to their bodies like even then like you look at that which is big giant but they the guys are so much bigger today like you see them there that muscle what is that lat or something trap who's the guy to the left is that Franco Columbo some guy's about to lose that's what it is some guy who thought he had a future well there's a

144:14lot of those guys that did have a future they just never had a future like him but he's just that crazy ambitious you know heard Burr's bti about him no Burr has a bti about oh yeah a great man that's right that's what after bang is made yeah no you can do all these things they tell them you can't come to America and be a bodybuilder you're just some German you came you're going to win you won you're the biggest bodybuilder well you can't what you want to be a movie star no you can't be a movie star it's come on you you're a bodybuilder you can't do you did it all right that's enough you've done enough wait you're the biggest movie star in the world all right well that's no you stop you can't run California that's not loud you're a movie star bodybuilder you're not all the Run you're you're doing it I bet and now you want to a maid of course oh that's the line that's what

145:01brought him down yeah a great man a great man I think if if they didn't have law against it yeah a law against it because he was born in in another country he president he wouldent I think he could be president now no not now he's too far remov from his F he'll find a new woman new woman that really anchors him woman she's religious I mean she's not like crazy about it but there's something about Jesus's teachings that's really starting to appeal to Arnold as he gets older in life and then boom connects that Republic you have to get Jesus you'd have to get Jesus real real popularly dude Jesus forgives you can get Jesus dude just listen Jesus said some cool okay he just did he really did he did some cool if if it was a real guy which is debatable right it's lot of not a lot of evidence that there was a real guy right they wrote about him in the T mod did they mhm oh well else they write

145:50about dragons anything about witches no huh no about demons no no isn't that the one that tells you you come you jerking off no oh the other one yeah okay I don't know what do you think I think it was real I think they did have historical evidence from for him but not the powers not the walking on water have you ever seen that movie there's guy who was talking a lot of it's like it's like okay before the internet you remember those videos of that Sensei who's like try to rush me and just with one finger he drives people back and they all fly it's clearly fake yeah before there were videos of that they were just dude I heard this guy can knock off any attacker with one finger and I don't have TV either so I don't know what's real that's what Jesus Jesus got big well here's the thing people telling stories about him the idea of Jesus coming back from the dead right

146:35that was the big one right that was probably one of the biggest ones he did yeah yeah um and then what three days later and then what happens he goes away what happens yeah I think he just got they like oh look his body's not in here he must have come back from the dead hm couldn't be that hyena ate his body or anything right yeah or somebody just went grave Rob why don't you leave a body out in be country no no he's he's back he's alive again and then he went to heaven so he came back to life went to heaven Jamie do you know yeah they put him in a tomb they put him in a tomb right in front and three days later The Rock was moved and people someone saw him go up into heaven full body oh this Li and that's the Dome of the Rock is where he went up to heaven you know who saw them those lesbians in that Club Vancouver they were there they is totally Canadian tribunals have too much

147:23power yeah if you had a Canadian tribunal to discover whether or not Jesus ever came back to life I just think if you came back to life you should probably stick around and talk to people let them know that you did it look I'm so for real you guys crucified me not again come at me this time I'm going to use my magic I'm here to fix you guys come on died for your sins get it together no removing anything we know is not true from that how do you know it's not true you don't know from what you know of let's say uh atheism or aism that's a guy who got strung up for saying he was a messiah which he wasn't the only one at the time saying he was a messiah he got strung up for it and he died and then the followers had to keep hope alive and whatever they did they did but like if it was a real person then it's like yeah he got he got killed like a lot of people well it's so hard it's so hard to

148:14recount the truth in an accurate way from things you've actually experienced yeah now imagine the God out of it thoseo but imagine those stories of whoever he was counted down and and and re retold by people that barely remember the original version they weren't even there they added their own to it like people do they added their own spice they added their own rules they added their own happy ending or sad ending or Consequences of sad action you know and Jesus said if you do not cover from your eyes to your to your ankles you shall be Stone to death and a dishonor killing like people just add right who knows what the original message was and who the it was that came up with it it might have been just some really cool dude who wanted everybody to get along and so they decided to kill this cuz he's talking imagine if the Romans came to town they got their swords they're

149:05ready to kicks some ass and this hippie is over here talking some stupid no dude we're here to kill people okay we're just going to nail you to this cross like we do thousands of other people as a matter of fact they had what was the the story that there's a story in in history on fire that danieli blei talks about where the Romans they put miles and miles of crucified bodies on this road like in Game of Thrones dude it's horrific when he recounts it it's horrific and they did that so why why would they give a about doing this to one other dude people let them do whatever they want who gives a so if you were in the town and there's this one cool guy he wants everybody to get along like man I'm glad Jesus is here he's talking sense you know we really should listen to him like why are we being we really do need to appreciate our our our surroundings and and love each other

149:56like brothers and sisters oh dude the Romans look over the hill and you look over the hill you see dust and horses just thousands of them coming forth and this dude's gonna step up and try to talk toay Down chop his dick off and stuff it up his nose they're monsters that's why I Love Game of Thrones they don't around they're not like they were just like this is how would be bunch of loose cannons oh yeah you know no government oversight die they kill no reason you why take the chance swords too you die by the sword heads and arms get lopped off why I've always hited the crossbow takes too long to reload it's a weapon it really is crossbow for get a bow folks seriously a real bow and L does that make you mad Walking Dead me it totally makes me mad you know what makes me mad The Walking Dead that he's one of the coolest guys how does how does that Arrow not get a

150:53pass through okay he's shooting people in the bodies he's shooting them in the head it always sticks in and he pulls it right out listen man I ruin three or four arrows a week a week this guy has been out there he keep finding new arrows yeah I shoot a lot of arrows and sometimes when I'm practicing with uh new uh Georgia new uh releases I'm practicing with new Archer releases sometimes I hit rocks and and they just break just break I'm not I'm exaggerating the amount you hit a rock on purpose like Ricochet it just destroys the arrow the arrows going too fast just shatters and explodes but my point being like this guy has the same goddamn arrows like where's he these arrows are gone dude you shot 100 zombies you don't have any more arrows you just don't you're not going to pull them out and they're going to be perfect first of all you have field points and that's anyway you don't even

151:38have broadheads like you're not even kill anything you're just going to put a little pinhole in it that's all you need just get through the brain he shoots him in the head you know and it just sticks right in there magically and he pulls it right out like what are their heads made of yeah I know the long and what do they when they eat what what happens to the food they don't their bodies don't still work and process stuff if they work just as way better off with a regular bow and arrow because a regular bow and arrow like you can make your own bow and arrow that'd be better than that stupid crossbow you you you want something you can just load up like that and keep shooting you can shoot several times that stupid thing you got to grab it you got to pull it people just like it cuz it looks like Chewbacca's gone in Star Wars it's some old schooly like you think oh that's even better

152:19than bow and arrow bow and arrow is way better than a crossbow unless you're a you don't want to learn how to shoot a bow and arrow they should have somebody Walking Dead with an actual bow and arrow have those guys butt heads I mean it's not a bad weapon if you want to kill something like if you want to use it like if you if you're in a deer blind and you're trying to kill a deer and you want to show someone how to do it with a crossbow it's a great weapon for that because it's really easy to do have you seen Sebastian's bit about bow and arrow no he's got a good bit don't tell me don't don't say it don't say I don't want it might be already recorded you got to look see if you can find it okay I'll try oh it's so funny his act outs are so good he's hilarious he's such a good dude too it's cool seeing a guy like him you got to look it up see if it's up there I I don't want to play it

153:02it is yeah I'll find it later but for for folks uh listening go go go check it out but I mean like most people don't actually have a bow and arrow so if anyone would like this bit it would be you yeah he's funny man and he's a really nice guy toool he's one of those guys where everybody likes him I've never heard anybody doesn't like Sebastian you know one person who doesn't like Sebastian yeah ever no no his wife's cool too yeah very artist yeah just but he's also a guy that like really worked hard that guy he hustled man he made it happen for himself he kept getting better the weak guy had today that was his catchphrase he couldn't do a set without doing that he came in and did a podcast and he was hilarious yeah he's hilarious he was really fun like particular yeah yeah very particular like what's going on with your fingernails you just he looks and it

153:58just bothers him he like what what what what is this what is this did you paint your fingernails guy yeah he's another guy that has like a very specific style MH he's clean dice um think about it man I don't know think about it no I got I'm going to say no I've seen him before maybe it's just when he does crowd work when Hees crowd everything he lifts everybody up instead of that shirt's gross he goes that shirt's amazing I could never get away with that shirt look at how gorgeous this guy there smile you had all your teeth fixed huh beautiful it just he takes the opposite end of it and just gets gets the funny out of just being positive weird that's interesting that's in that sense maybe yeah maybe in that sense which is the act exactly the exact opposite of what I used to love about watching dice in the o just hurting late night there'd be a guy they go look at

154:49you look at you the last piece of you saw is the last piece of you're ever going to see trust me it's over trust me it's over he would have a cigarette it's over who's going to you who's going to let's be honest over she shits on you believe me who's going to you you're going to pay for it yeah you're going to be sad you're going to fall in love with the hooker you going to want to bring her into your life and save her meanwhile all the time she's getting when you're not looking he would just go deep on he bad but it was fun like it was theater it was theater it didn't seem real right no no no no no it's it's theater like it's a character that's doing this mean act on yeah it's when you act like yourself on stage people feel way more like how dare you but when it's a complete character or a movie where it's like this is all definitely not true so it's okay it just

155:42seems more like reality I think that's why people get mad are more stand up look at you over here oh is that good yeah you hear about Bowie dying what' you think of him I loved him yeah I saw the exhibit in Melbourne his Bowie exhibit multip Flo yeah and just the way he dealt with like live performance and like getting costume where like getting the world's best costume where was like I got to talk to you yeah and then he was just like here's what I'm kind of doing now I want you to design something with me I forgive him for Dancing in the Street dancing in the street with him and MC chicag forgive them I for them for arguably the most confusing sexually at least to a young man I'm like what is happening with him and MC Jagger I was like what is this message you're confusing the out of me I don't know what you guys are doing I want to know are you guys platonic friends who just start

156:37dancing for some strange reason or it seems like you're flirting with each other like I need to know I need to know cuz there's did that sh all the time well MC Cher's ex-wife got mean said she found a David Bowie in bed with Mick Jagger so she told everybody that's where when you're a guy like David Bowie or Mick Jagger becomes really problematic being married to some normal person because she's got this amazing story so what if they want to get together and figure out whether or not they're like oh yeah I all sorts of stuff yeah like let's see if this a shot let's see what the happens and meanwhile this woman that Mick Jagger supposedly had some sort of a contract with where they're not supposed to have sex with other people she got all upset and she puts them on blast all over the world probably put it in a book or something how rude yeah they're right next to each other listen that's

157:26privilege information ma'am that's not like regular people yeah that's not like Bob you know the guy who uh fixes bikes down at the bike shop and Tim who's the UPS driver who has friendly conversations with Bob and catching them in the men's room it's not this is a bigger deal this is all this is going to affect the record companies this is going to affect venues going to affect the people that sell tickets there's a lot of jobs attached to these two people and you're just being rude cuz you're a petty what do you care what do you care look at the way he's dressed of course he guys Jesus Christ that a shocker to you doesn't make him any less awesome makes him more awesome look at them these guys are coming from behind you there you imagine if you and I did a music video and we were doing this what is he doing how long do you think we could do this what is he sticking his

158:12fingers dun couldn't kiss each other for more than 2 seconds for a hilarious thing at a Pay-Per-View event how I mean my bigest regret is that is pulling away and laughing when I should have just I didn't realize I thought the camera was gone did you give him any tongue yeah I gave him a little did you what did he give it back you think I don't like Duncan but did he give it back we did you guys tongue we were we were locked in there man I thought you guys were like just just lips I didn't know you went tongues you got to sell it oh you sold it what up with the trench coat is he warm or cold or what is he what is he cuz it seems like they're both in different climates like David Bowie seems like he's in a rainy London sort of climate but mck Jagger's in the keys he's in the Florida Keys he's having a good old time time he's like listening to Jimmy Buffett music or some 68

158:52at night blue pants what's going on with their butts oh my what's that about why they freeze frame on that butt is that you did you do that Jamie or is that the actual video That's How It Ends that's unfortunate yeah or or fortunate depending on what you're really into dude ground control to Major Tom come on man that's like one my all stust character MH and he was all coked up they had these coke uh spoons as part of the exhibit his all of his Coke spoons they didn't have anything did they really yeah so in his Coke Rage or whatever he was in he goes uh there's this famous thing he goes uh not only is you guys have been wonderful audience and not only is this the last uh Ziggy Stardust show of the tour um but it is also and the band has no idea what he's talking about what he's going to say because this is also the last Ziggy Stardust show of all time and then he plays his last song and

159:43gets off and the band's like wait we're done that's how you're telling us we're done holy that sucks for the band yeah and then he went and started just being David Bowie wow but he had this character that was huge and they're like what are you doing don't stop he goes this I'm an artist I'm developing I'm not getting stuck with that money maker forever wow well he was a he was just he had some really amazing songs man amazing songs and they were so original yeah but his live performance they showed him on the top of the pops just it's like androgynous on like a late night talk show not a late night talk show like just like a a mainstream thing and they're just like almost half kissing this guy and people like wait what the was that what did I just see yeah and the music was so unique you know his style was it was just it was very specific you know was very David Bo

160:35yeah oh my God what a great song that is what a great song yeah he was awesome man and it wasn't like okay when Michael Jackson died everybody was a Michael Jackson fan everybody right when he died he was sad whatever but he wasn't still making music and stuff you know so it was like oh it's too bad he passed but it was either then or 30 years later we weren't going to miss out on anything David Bowie released an album last Tuesday did he really yeah it's just getting the first hit is just on the radio right now he still has stuff that's being planned for radio releases in the next wow you know few month like there was a roll out scheduled cancer man he did a lot of stuff allegedly I don't even think he hid from it yeah it's a bummer man he's a bummer did you see the Shawn pen thing on Shawn pen went El Chapo sha pen I've completely changed my opinion about him I think he

161:29was a blow hard when he did that Chris Rock thing I was very critical of him I was like because the Chris Rock made a joke he's doing his monologue and he made a joke about Jude Law and Shawn Penn comes out and goes well the reason why great come on man you know so I I goofed on him but that guy went to to Mexico to the Jungle to meet El Chapo and interview him and write about it for Rolling Stone wow just to be a journalist mhm mhm dude he has everything to lose he's got a family he's got children he's got money he's got Fame he's got everything he has no reason to want to do this and he decides to do it he decides to be and people are people are criticizing him in this really bizarre way they first of all they said one of one of these guys said I I read this tweet about it where he's saying I wonder how how Shawn Penn feels about real journalists being killed you

162:23know because the Naros have killed journalists that report on them well guess what he's risking his life like you don't think they would think it would be funny to kill Shawn Penn like if if if somehow or another Shawn Penn had irritated El Chapo and El Chapo decided to have him killed he must have known the risk of that this guy doesn't care El Chapo got out in tunnels I heard he was hiding out in Justin Martell's I don't think Justin Martell's is that little that's how no I'm saying that's the series of tunnels he find him if you looked in there oh right you know I mean that big uh so he interviewed Al Chapo that's cool he went to Afghanistan during the beginning of the war too right or Iraq one of those two um the street I don't I'm not sure about that I didn't I wasn't aware of that but what he did with El Chapo was he got in touch with some Mexican actress who knows El Chapo she's

163:08probably got El Chapo's El Chapo inside of you know I say and um El Chapo uh arranged a meeting and uh they had like specific conditions like what he had to read the story before it's published which they've never granted before with rolling stone they don't do that and they agree to it because it's just like such a crazy legally I'm not going to let you not only that it's Shawn Penn is interviewing but all these journalists are mad and like what is Shawn Penn responsible for the fact that El Chapo has killed other people like he shouldn't be sitting down and talk you don't want to see a conversation between Sean and this killer guy he is being a journalist he's a killer but okay let's interview him journalist would get would get Manson what is this catty like real journalist like don't say that like that guy that's a crazy risk he took undeniably crazy risk yeah it's just

163:56cattiness for anybody to to on it like to say that he shouldn't have done that like he's not going to keep people alive by not going there he's and in fact they believe that the paper trail or the electronic trail of them setting this up is probably what led to them capturing El Chapo in the first place oh really which they just did the whole thing they did they he escaped and then he just CAU him they only caught him like two days ago oh and they caught him like right as this story is coming out tring C Amer like Rolling Stone set up El Choo to make their story sell even better Jamie are you thinking that I can't believe you're saying that I don't I don't know why you would say that because I don't think the world works that way just God Jamie's like conspiracies they see all the EXT stuff yeah they they want to they um the United States is going to give Mexico

164:43like a bunch of why because he gas drugs to come here because yeah he sold drugs in America so we get to pull them out of his country of of jurisdiction because they can't keep that locked up we can keep them locked up they're like enough can you guys help us with this with holding this Joker he escaped twice we're done with this let's stop I just uh I've completely changed my opinion on Shawn pen where you going P yeah I knew it the interview was in October go it was in October yeah but it's just coming out now right yeah which might be added to your it might be added to why why would Rolling Stone release it now my brother it's the Illuminati controls all of the media do you think he can get in trouble for for doing this at all Sean pen yeah yeah for sure yeah look man he he just got a story with one of the biggest drug dealers or the apparently the biggest

165:36drug dealer if he's to be believed ever that's ever lived other than CIA other that's ever lived allegedly come on man I mean of course you can get in trouble for that that's a dangerous move like anybody that says that what Shawn Penn did didn't take any courage is crazy you you and anybody who's like why criticize it just look at it what it is what he got he had a conversation with uh a a known gangster of incredible reputation I mean that's what that guy is he's a known gangster of incredible reputation and Shawn Penn met him in the jungle in Mexico you don't think that's a ballsy move that's like one of the ballsiest moves that a person could do as a journalist what but what Shawn Penn did but to do it as a movie star a guy who's won Oscars at least an Oscar right he's won an Oscar right I think so look he's a bad I I resend my my previous criticism very big of you I heard that

166:38it's obviously a conspiracy thing but I heard that the Mexican Government might have let El Chapo out to get the cartels and gangs under control because once they arrested him vacuum there was a vacuum and now that he was out he got everything wrapped up now they pull him back in which is why he's been arrested again Jamie's with his conspiracies over here heard this on the radio how dare you how dare you repeat these probably who the knows I don't think they let him out I think I think somebody um paid a shitload of money to have somebody dig a tunnel and I don't think they do a good job of watching their prison that's most like or probably there's probably some people in on it probably got paid too definitely right that's why they so that's why they want to keep him here on the good old way we got him locked down AR we're done with this we're going

167:22to take him down to quanico put him down in the place we got there in the bottom of the uh Denver Airport that's where he is that Denver Airport prison the place they always talk about I want to see that place um yeah I'm pretty sure it's there's probably a jail down there I think a lot of uh lot of airports have a jail a lot of yeah it doesn't Fenway Park have a jail too I might have made that out I don't know I could see that um but yeah so Al Chapo got captured and Sean pen that's pretty cool then he went down there yeah it's not the best story writing needs a little work little little dry in points but uh but you still say it's wrong for him to go like he's one of our finest actors what he did was just unnecessary and he was just trying to stand up for a guy that he has deep respect for his craft who doesn't get comedy right but it's his craft that's

168:12he doesn't have to like to be who he is to be able to do Harvey Milk and to also be able to do the Fast Times of r and the Irish mob guy like he's he obviously knows how to get into his work he doesn't do a job like he's not doing an American Sniper right have you ever seen a movie where he plays it or it seems like he's just phoning it in like like moments you saw American Sniper you're like this is not real you know you don't see Shawn Penn in those movies in that like when here's the like the scene where you were criticizing the Bradley Cooper scene where the girlfriend was banging another guy and it just seems all fake could you imagine Shawn Penn in that scene no of course you can yeah it would be he would he would figure out how to make it more real shut up brother he would he would figure out how to make it more real or he wouldn't be doing it like his quality

168:57of work is definitely to be respected like there's a few guys like that that have that Daniel de Lewis you know him uh Russell Crow there's like there's a few people that have this ability to like transform into like Mariel Hemingway oh yeah Russell Crow puts out some stuff although he's always away Fay dunway like from the beginning man you ever watch d That's the original Stoner that's the original rendition of a Stoner Fast Times like everyone else is doing an impression of that now I'm so wasted remember he beats the sneaker against his head that was my head that was my head did you uh did you ever see Chinatown Fay dunway I don't know good Lord Jack Nicholson and Fay dunway in Chinatown holy yeah there's there's some people you know who's that broad that's uh in all the Cohen Brothers movies she's really awesome she was in Fargo she's amazing oh yeah yeah yeah with the

169:52accent um God damn it she was in the movie Fargo she's been in everything yeah she's been in movie Fargo Francis McDormand yes she's she's one of those people that become you baits I don't yeah I don't care that she I know who it is like she's so good like you lose yourself yeah if I go to see a movie and I'm like oh that's that guy how'd that guy get to play that guy like it doesn't make any like how is wait a minute you know Seth Rogan is Steve wnac no he's not it's Seth Rogan like what's going on here you know he's playing somebody it's not that Seth Rogan's not good but you know what I mean like I know who he is but she's so goddamn good you don't care who she is you don't care that it's Francis mcdorman when she's playing a role you buy Hook Line and Sinker you're you're locked up in it which is way harder to do you know it's way harder to do when you don't know who the person is

170:41like in a mchina I didn't know who any of these people were so it was perfect it just slipped right in but if one of those people been Tom the other one was ni Kidman it' be like come on like this I know who you are you it's hard to see whenever your friends book anything and you're watching a movie and you see like Diaz or or anybody you know or you know Ma Bron like yeah it's real hard to get lost in it yeah almost impossible you know them well plus it's not fun to get lost in it it's fun to go what's up M it's m your body yeah that's what's fun right yeah God damn it AR shafir are you enjoying your new found success yeah man it's been great I get a little worried about certain things I keep track of you're traveling all over the world though traveling all the world is real fun as I'm trying to do I I realized I made this promise with Mory Paul morrisy a few years ago we were in

171:31uh Denmark for some Comedy Festival nope excuse me we were in montro Switzerland for some Comedy Festival wow and then we went to Amsterdam afterwards and uh just for fun and we were like let's go to two new countries every year wow just to visit or to work whatever either one yeah I mean I really one of the things I'd like to do in another country is see what it's like to do comedy there you should do a show in Thailand I did a show in Thailand how many shows just one in Bok how was it fun as wow that was a lot more um Thai people were there than in China China was all expats maybe one Chinese person wow Hong Kong has a mix but like Thailand they speak some English dude so I might do a show on India this year yeah they speak English in India that's how when you get your computer fixed yeah English that's what I'm callia yeah in India everybody speaks English so they don't have to

172:19they do it for not just expats but by the way if you have an American Express issue you're talking to someone in India I found that out and then we wonderful they rename them my name is Fred muh I'm here to take your order what is the problem with your phone card what is this man American Express that is again racist just like he was saying the Sumo sword this is more racist you're appropriating an accent no it's racist to they rename those people that's racist yeah because they don't think America doesn't someone have a bti on that someone has a bit I had a bti I used to have a bti about it was it you yeah you know Eddie Bravo had a real problem with those people at one point in time and you know Eddie Bravo is a real trickster he's hilarious like Eddie um must have ordered like a um a prescription medication and used his cell phone as the phone number you know

173:10like when you you get a prescription like what number do you leave he left his cell phone so somehow or another that got this is like in the early 2000s and somehow or another that got sold as a list you know how that happens they'll find out like oh this guy buys prescription drugs or this guy uh has solar panels in his house like for whatever reason you get a list that was like a big issue with people that would sell your information so he started getting all these phone calls from pharmacies and there were these people that barely spoke English and they're trying to sell him prescription drugs cuz this was during the day like where there was a c of a wild west period uh where you'd buy all your drugs from Canada and overseas and they would ship them and so you could get things without a prescription like really heavy stuff without a prescription and um so

173:55Eddie would keep these people on the phone forever I mean forever he would have these conversations with them and pretend that like some noise is going on in the background and he would talk to him and say what do you have that I can use oh hold on I'll be right back I have to clean my feet and then he would go and like put the phone down for like five minutes and go take a leak he would get something to drink and then he' come back to it and then start talking to them about uh what different drugs like I I just I what do you have that gets your dick hard do you have anything that gets your dick hard and like he would have these like crazy conversations with these people and they would go on forever man he would be laughing he would hold the phone up to his chest and he loves playing tricks like that on people especially like he felt he had the green light cuz they're contacting

174:38him so he would drag it on forever and they can't hang up too let your curse exactly so he was dragging it on forever and he would go to like give them an address to send it to her a credit card number but and then he would like have some ridiculous excuse he had to put the phone down he put the phone down for like 10 minutes and then go back to it and pick it up again he would keep doing it and Sor just one second I need to deal with this yeah You' have like crazy fake arguments you know like in the back hold the phone down and scream and yell and then you know say he's about to get raped and can you call the police and did he record him no it just for fun just for the of it he would do it for like I'm telling you man he did a bunch of them I sort of remember those remember those sort remember those yeah dude he would get excited when the phone would ring hello my God I'm so glad you

175:22guys called me yeah yeah it just don't have that kind of patience I don't have that mind either yeah you got to be bored you got to be bored you got to be crazy in a different way he loves doing that though he just he gets such a kick out of doing that or he did I'm sure now he's too busy but it's hilarious yeah they don't do that anymore do they do you get they call you supposed to not have your cell phone supposed to be like you're not supposed to call my cell phone ever that was like a law change imagine if they didn't good Lord I think it only came for when people didn't have unlimited phone calls wasn't like a standard so then like hey you're using up people's time and money that's actually a good argument to keep it the way it is yeah now they can be like what what's the difference cuz if it's free if you get all the minutes in the world all the

176:09time then people are free to contact you for no reason dude even fact machines as soon as we had fax machines within how long it was spam spam just like a someone sending you some ad you remember when you would call someone in the fax machine would answer you'd be like you ridiculous yeah all right Sha we're out of time we got to wrap this up can I plug some dates or something yeah do you just ran your hour special or you ran it I just ran my new hour yeah in the uh belly room I walked in for a little bit saw the cell phone bit was hilarious oh it was going well thanks so uh when you are you ready to do another one I'm getting I mean I'm doing an hour my hour on the road now is pretty solid like I I don't feel like I'm the crowd's not getting full good show but I'm deciding when I want to do it I think I'm going to hold off till October cuz I'm going to do it in

177:01Edinburgh oh in Edinburgh for a month say it right though don't say edin bur they'll get mad Ed BR like you you run from here steering L money so I don't want to waste that time on on the material I'm like I'm gonna run it 25 times in the UK I want to that would make it stronger M yeah we'll definitely adapt you to that environment too you know you get a Groove like what what audiences are like in different countries and you're there for a few days especially my last special I ran in 10 countries wow yeah powerful jair yeah I like you know getting it to everybody and seeing if it works everywhere smart move man it's smart because it you know you know how guys in one town they'll develop a style that's suitable to one town we started on Third Street yeah it might not work in Chicago like what the is Third Street I don't know what you're talking about I have this spit

177:51about apartment brokers in New York and it's like doesn't I've I've got to make it work outside of New York yeah it's hard Regional material is hard but anyway every two weeks I'm going to be doing my storytale show at the belly room oh the 19th is the next one and then whatever two weeks after that but uh I've got Irvine I'm doing my hour but I'll be in Denver um Ari theeg great.com arth great.com for tickets or ar sha.com being Denver with Steve Simone the 28th 29th 30th 31st ComEd works at the greatest Club on the planet Earth or one of them Indianapolis Tempe everything greatest everything the great.com arthe great.com and if you like sports check out the sports podcast with Sam tripley and Jason TBO called punch drunk Sports oh that's right ladies and gentlemen Diaz ni Diaz calling all the time and uh how about the skeptic tank skeptic tank your

178:40podcast foret skeptic tank that's right another good one it's got a podcast too this week coming out later today I guess is the AR shafir interview by Danish and O'Neal good googly moogly ladies and gentlemen all right that's it you listen to it sometimes thanks I do I listen to your podcast all the time that's cool good night you we love you see you tomorrow bye bye that was fun dude