← The Diary Of A CEO

Russell Howard: How To Laugh Through Fear, Anxiety & Imposter Syndrome

Episode 2021-12-062021-12-06English

Guests: Russell

Russell Howard: How To Laugh Through Fear, Anxiety & Imposter Syndrome
Listen to this episode00:00 / 1:42:20
Reading settings
Reading preferences
Text size
Download in-depth read
Read offline

In-depth read pending

Downloads are not available yet.

§01Transcript — part 1

00:00When your cat is acting weird-er, or your dog is being loud-er, your turtle moves slow-er, your cat seems thirsty-er,

00:16or your puppy is acting clumsy-er.

00:20Day or night, if you don't know what's wrong, know where to go.

00:24Veg ER for Pets.

00:25This is Kate.

00:26Veg.

00:27The better, kinder ER for pets.

00:30If they're laughing, it's fine.

00:32If they're not, it ain't.

00:33This is the Russell Howard we have never seen before.

00:37When you're low, it leaves you mentally fragile, but then that makes you work hard and go again because you know the excitement you get from making them laugh.

00:45It's an unhealthy treadmill, but at the end of that treadmill, there is this incredible cherry.

00:51That's what happiness is.

00:53Figure out a healthier way of being the best you without it being so draining to realize what you have.

01:00There will always be sort of shimmering.

01:03Lights of hope in the misery, but sometimes somebody has to help you find them.

01:09When he died, it was just this sledgehammer to your heart where you just go, Jesus, one of the, one of the,

01:18One of the good souls isn't here anymore.

01:29Russell Howard.

01:31I've watched Russell Howard on TV for years and years and years.

01:36And of all the podcasts I've done, Russell and this conversation was the most stark difference between the person I've seen on TV and the person I had a conversation with today.

01:47I think your mind is going to be blown.

01:49He's got a new Netflix show coming out called Lubricant.

01:52And the reason it's called Lubricant is because he believes comedy and laughter is the lubricant that allows us to deal with the pain of life.

02:01And we talk about the pain of his life.

02:03We talk about everything.

02:04And in this conversation, there's more tears.

02:08Recently, I did an episode on this podcast with Jimmy Carr, and the resounding feedback we got was we've never seen that Jimmy Carr before.

02:15I have a suspicion, in fact, I know that people are going to say the same about this conversation.

02:21This is the Russell Howard we have never seen before.

02:25And it's an incredibly inspiring, valuable, vulnerable Russell Howard.

02:31It's the side, as a Russell Howard fan, that I wish I'd seen more of.

02:36I have a feeling you're going to be really surprised.

02:39So without further ado, I'm Stephen Bartlett, and this is the Diary of a CEO.

02:43I hope nobody's listening, but if you are, then please keep this to yourself.

02:55I'm funny because of my mum and I'm determined because of my dad.

03:00You said that, right?

03:01I did say that, yeah.

03:02I felt like that was the beginning of a riddle.

03:04Like you were sort of a golem figure.

03:06I was trying to understand, yeah.

03:07Can you explain that to me, please?

03:11My mum is a warm, twinkly-eyed little lady who is...

03:17Inadvertently funny all the time, has no idea of her power, is just naturally bright and joyful.

03:28If you ever feel that you're kind of getting used to hotels and the humdrum life of, oh, here we are in another place,

03:36Take my mum with you, separate rooms, and watch her reaction when she goes into a hotel room because it reminds you of how you used to be.

03:45Oh, really?

03:46Jesus Christ, they've got kettles, they've got tea bags, look, they've got a trouser press, look.

03:51Like, she's so excited and happy by the world.

03:56My dad is a very quiet, unbelievably determined man who, you know, when we were kids, we'd sort of, he'd have us mix in cement.

04:08We'd be sort of like, you know, building kind of walls with him, plastering as a kid.

04:13I remember watching my dad plaster.

04:15And he was trying to keep this kind of wall up.

04:17And he screamed to himself, come on, David.

04:20And.

04:21And sort of even at 11, I was going, that's a bit much.

04:25So I have these kind of two very different dominant personalities that kind of raised me, who I love dearly both, but they are very, very different.

04:36My dad challenged me to a press-up competition recently at a family barbecue, and he beat me.

04:42He did 68.

04:44He did, yeah.

04:45And he's 65 years old.

04:48And yeah, I remember this story.

04:51This sums my dad up.

04:53I had a school report when I was 11 and the teacher said, what Russell needs to know is that he can't do everything.

05:01And I kind of go home and, you know, that moment you give the report and your dad looks and he goes, well, what's this mean?

05:05You go, well, the teacher says I can't do everything.

05:08He goes, why did you say that?

05:10I just think that I can.

05:11I think I can do anything if I put my mind to it.

05:13And my dad goes, you've got to go down that school now and tell her that.

05:17So I have to walk back to the school.

05:18You're joking.

05:19Yeah.

05:20And I kind of go in and go, my dad says I can do anything and you're not allowed to say that I can't.

05:24Which is a pretty, you know, incredible thing to do, but, you know, it made school tough.

05:30So yeah, very different.

05:31What about brothers and sisters?

05:33I have a brother, Daniel, who's an amazing human being, very funny.

05:40And I have a sister who is an actress, who's also incredible.

05:44They're very different as well.

05:47I'm very close to my brother, not so much to my sister.

05:49We sort of, all my brother, we just played football.

05:51We played together as kids.

05:52And oddly, Kerry is in the same world as me now and is kind of a BAFTA-nominated actress.

05:57She was in Him and Her, BBC Three, and super talented and, yeah, a great human being.

06:05They're a lovely bunch, but very strange, my family.

06:07It's like being in a Pogues song when you go to kind of Christmas parties around our way.

06:12Do you know what I mean?

06:13Yeah.

06:13It's sort of, you know, those like, I remember weirdly the funeral of my nan and granddad.

06:21It was separate.

06:21It sounded like it was packed.

06:24But that feeling sometimes when you go to a funeral and you're so proud to have the same blood as the people in the room.

06:31I kind of feel that whenever I'm back with my family in the West Country, there's such a...

06:37Lunacy and energy to them that I adore and feel so kind of delighted to be part of, you know, it's kind of, yeah.

06:47Jimmy Carr said something to me, which I've been waiting to ask another comedian.

06:51There's a stereotype that comedians are funny because they're depressed.

06:55Yeah.

06:55But Jimmy Carr said that's wrong.

06:56He said, you've really got to ask a comedian who in their family is sick.

07:01Because he says that much of his comedic genius or his desire to please people came from trying to make a family member happy or trying to ease moments of tension in the family dynamic when he was younger.

07:15Do you resonate with that at all?

07:16Yeah, yeah, completely.

07:21My dad is successful and super serious, but used to lose his mind watching Billy Connolly or watching Have I Got News For You.

07:34So he would howl with laughter.

07:36And we sort of figured out.

07:39The way to break dad's serious energy was to make him laugh, you know?

07:46So definitely it was kind of, there's no tension if people like, I've got a line in my new special, which is laughter is the lubricant that makes life livable.

07:56And it, you know, it really,

07:58it soothes tensions and it's a bandage that gets over cracks.

08:02Definitely, you know, and then it's sort of this thing that you, when you discover you, you know, you can make people laugh.

08:07It's so addictive and you can literally create your own energy.

08:12And like you do in arena, there's 15,000 people there.

08:15You're orchestrating this almost societal orgasm where they're kind of like lost in laughter together.

08:23It's, you feel like a necromancer, man.

08:25It's the best.

08:26And I think Jim's right in that.

08:30That initial spark comes from probably, I'm thinking of other comedians as well as myself, it's sort of that sense of, you know,

08:37like I've got a lazy eye.

08:38So that was, you know, so I became funny to deflect and did jokes about my eyes to get, to stop people looking at them.

08:45And then you kind of realize, okay, this is kind of cool.

08:48Or if you're a bit thick, or if you're not good at football,

08:51or you don't fit in, you can kind of...

08:55Sort of rebrand yourself in a strange way through humor.

09:01And you can create your own kind of energy.

09:05That sounds kind of wanky, but do you know what I mean?

09:07Of course I do, because there's also another stereotype, which is that people who are slightly bigger,

09:14tend to be really bubbly and have funny personalities and comedians as well, which is, would fit that kind of idea that it's a, it's a tool of deflection from something else, you know, they don't want them to focus on or,

09:27um, you talk about it being linked, heavily linked to self-esteem as well.

09:30And you're, yeah.

09:32Yeah, well, what's odd, the further you get into it, you realize that it's so much fun doing stand-up.

09:40And it's such a wild drug, effectively, because you're doing these massive gigs for 2,000 people and everyone's laughing, or 15,000 people.

09:46You're in New York, you're doing a gig in Finland, and you can't quite get over it.

09:50And then as a consequence, it's quite hard to sit down and watch the TV and be normal.

09:58So you're kind of chasing that sort of high and it's about the real, the real skill is trying to figure out the sort of work life balance, you know, I'm speaking to somebody whose house is above work, but you know what I mean?

10:12It's like, see, the only, the only way around it is to sort of integrate it really.

10:17But like, I don't know.

10:19I've been doing stand-up since I was 18.

10:20I remember doing stand-up.

10:21the first gig and it felt like it was you sort of discovered a mechanism through which you can do life that everything sad good happy weird peculiar can go through this sausage maker and you can then

10:36understand life figure it out but also that's a very strange way to to do it because you you're

10:43you know, you're using the stage to kind of dissect yourself, but the aim is always funny.

10:51But I don't know of a better way to do it than to kind of make sense of the world.

10:56And the funny thing about all comics is guaranteed, if they find themselves in a strange situation, sometimes a heartbreaking situation in life,

11:04there's always a little part of your brain going, there could be a bit in this.

11:08And it's that horrible sort of, you know, sort of disease that we have that you can't ever truly be there because there's always a little bit of you, whether you're Seinfeld or,

11:20you know, Taylor Tomlinson or Bill Burr or Chappelle or whatever.

11:24Your brain is going, yep, there's stuff in this.

11:27Do you know what I mean?

11:27As you're getting beaten up or whatever, your brain...

11:30I remember getting mugged in Brighton when I was 18.

11:35And this guy shouted at me, come back, I'm a police officer.

11:39He clearly wasn't.

11:41And I said, no, you're not.

11:42You're a monster.

11:43And as I said it, I went, yeah, that's going to be quite funny, I reckon.

11:46But I'm literally running away.

11:47I'm terrified.

11:48But my brain's going, yeah, I'll probably build a little bit about that.

11:51And it's, I think all comics that I know have that thing where,

11:57Reality is always auditioning to find its way into your set.

12:02Wow.

12:05I could get out of hand and you could start willing misfortune.

12:08This is the weird thing.

12:09Yeah, well, exactly.

12:11But that's the problem.

12:13We haven't got any jokes.

12:14He's walking around dressed as a clown going to like a fucking zoo.

12:17There's got to be something in this.

12:18But yeah, you're right.

12:21it's sort of about keeping life open a bit and keeping the third eye open, really.

12:26Probably that's the same of all creatives where you kind of, or all people really, like you have to notice the things that niggle you.

12:34And if you're talking about them, whether it's, you know, like in my last special, I had a big bit about kind of young women self-harming.

12:42I couldn't, I was like, what?

12:43Like one in four women self-harm.

12:45And I was like, I couldn't get my head around that.

12:47And I just knew I had to talk about it on stage.

12:50And yesterday I saw this lady complaining because the foam in her cup wasn't at the top of her cup.

12:58And for the rest of that morning, I couldn't get my head around it.

13:02Just how do you get the confidence to complain about your foam not being there?

13:07And I know somehow that's going to end up in a show somewhere.

13:10That's the way I kind of operate, really.

13:13I sort of see these little things or...

13:15And they kind of make a note on my phone and they gradually kind of make their way.

13:20You know.

13:20Interesting.

13:21It's like collecting dots from society and then figuring out later how they fall.

13:24Well, I think that I know Chris Martin does a similar thing where you just make little notes of lyrics and Woody Allen does a similar thing.

13:31Woody Allen will just write a load of stuff and then he puts it in a drawer.

13:35And then when he comes to write a film, he just gets the drawer out.

13:39Empties all these notes that he's been making for the last six months and figures out what the film's going to be.

13:44And that's a lot easier than sort of writing from a blank page because you can then finesse your kind of thoughts in the field when you're in the laboratory, as it were.

13:56You said something there which I find really interesting and I think is there's kind of...

14:00Almost analogies for life within, which is after you've come off stage to thousands of people in an arena, you then go home and have to like sit in front of the TV.

14:10The anti-climax, dealing with like that consistent high, then low,

14:17it feels like a lot emotionally because that's like a huge adrenaline surge.

14:20And then even like physiologically, that feels like that must be not natural.

14:26Yeah.

14:26Have a consequence.

14:27Yeah, Christ, that's deep.

§02Transcript — part 2

14:29And let's hope it doesn't.

14:30But yeah, you're right.

14:30It's, it's.

14:34Yeah, every comedian, when they're in the middle of a tour, needs a really, really good box set.

14:41Like, do you know what I mean?

14:42It's like you need succession.

14:45You need madmen.

14:46You need something to get you through.

14:47Because, yeah, it's sort of...

14:49Otherwise, if you're trying to maintain that high, if you're drinking and you're doing drugs or whatnot, it's going to make it harder to be that version.

14:59It's kind of like, whereas if you're a musician, you can still sing the song that they want you to sing if you're on coke or you're pissed up.

15:07It's kind of hard to be...

15:08A good comic for a long time if you kind of, you know, on drinking drugs.

15:13So yeah, you have to sort of develop this kind of way of like reintegrating your life.

15:19But also it's nonsense as well.

15:20It's just, it's, it's fun make-believe like, and, and also what's important is kind of, you know, going for a meal with your wife and, and, and hanging out and seeing friends and, and there's joy in that, you know, and you see it, you, you, you have to,

15:35You have to try, you have to plan fun.

15:37I think that that's the crucial thing.

15:39You have to go, right, we'll go on holiday and we'll go to that restaurant and we'll watch this film.

15:44Because I think, like you say, it's the sitting and the, and the waiting is very difficult to compete with the, the innate rush that you get from standup.

15:56Because of what you do professionally, do you find it harder to enjoy the sitting and the waiting and the meal?

16:02where you're sat there just, you know, and the holiday where you're sat on the deck chair.

16:06Not like I normally, what I love about holidays, I don't know what your feelings are about them, but by the end of like 10 days, I'm ready to go back to my life because holidays remind me of how much I love my life.

16:20And that's the thing.

16:21So you need to have that kind of, I'm a real sit in the sun, you know, read some books, listen to podcasts, whatever, and then kind of go again.

16:29But I like the recharge of it.

16:31If there was a thing where you could literally plug yourself in like a mobile phone, I would happily do that on a beach.

16:37Do you know what I mean?

16:38And then kind of go again.

16:39But I'm not really a, when I'm in holiday mode, I'm not really a culture vulture.

16:43I'm kind of a sit down, plonk, book, sun.

16:48relax, get ill because I've been putting it off.

16:51Do you know what I mean?

16:52Your body just kind of gets a bit sick and then you kind of go again.

16:54How about you?

16:55Are you a relaxer?

16:58I think I'm a forced relaxer.

16:59Right.

17:00Yeah.

17:00I think my girlfriend is the reason why I would,

17:03go on holiday.

17:03And I think she's also the reason why I would be present on holiday.

17:06And she's the reason why I'd go and look at like a castle or something.

17:09Okay.

17:10A castle?

17:10Like whatever she would want to look at.

17:12Okay.

17:12I think if it was just up to me, I wouldn't go and I wouldn't do it.

17:15And even if I did go, I wouldn't leave the hotel room.

17:18Yes.

17:19There's like strong evidence for that because whenever I've gone to speak in a country or whatever, I don't leave the hotel room.

17:24I have no desire to do anything but just be on my phone or laptop.

17:26So it's pretty sad, but I think, you know, that's why it's fortunate that I have a girlfriend.

17:31Yeah, but it's...

17:32It's also that thing as well of like, you clearly, with the job you do, you clearly love it as well.

17:38I love it.

17:38Yeah.

17:38So that's the thing.

17:39If you're fortunate enough, there are so many, there are billions of people who are, who are, who, you know, live for the weekend, do your job, punch in job.

17:49You don't like get your money.

17:51Smash your weekend, try and find your fun.

17:53If you're one of the, there are so few people in this world that truly have a thing that they do, that they get paid for, that they adore.

18:02You just got to get hold of it, man.

18:04And just like, there's no shame, but it just seems peculiar to the outside.

18:09So you're going to be how obsessed you get about your job or I would get about stand-up.

18:13There was a documentary about the Comedy Store on Sky recently and I watched it.

18:18It's incredible.

18:19It was a beautiful kind of summer's day and I smashed the whole thing.

18:22It was one of the best days I've ever had in my life because it was incredible.

18:24And it evoked this kind of the comedy store from the sort of the 70s and the 80s and Jay Leno and all this.

18:31And it just...

18:32You know, I was like, we need a time machine.

18:34We need to go back to those times at the comedy store.

18:38But this, because I love standup and I kind of, you know, it's, you have to be with people that understand your passions because you can't fake it.

18:47You can't go, let's go to the castle.

18:49If you're not a go to the castle guy, do you know what I mean?

18:51But you're right.

18:51You can be, you can have help to look at the castle.

18:54And then you realize when you get to the castle, that's just a really nice castle.

18:57Yeah.

18:57I wouldn't have come had you not.

18:59Completely.

19:00Yeah.

19:00Yeah.

19:01We're not staying for ages.

19:02It's a car.

19:03I don't want to look at you.

19:04It's not an RV, mate.

19:06But you start writing.

19:07So on that point of finding your passion and pursuing it, you started writing jokes at 14?

19:11Yeah.

19:12Wow, you've done your research.

19:13Yeah.

19:13Yeah, I had an old computer.

19:15And yeah, I kind of, I watched a Lee Evans video with my mate Craig.

19:21And it blew my mind.

19:22Because when I was a kid, stand-up really wasn't on TV.

19:26That you'd have like a Billy Connolly tape.

19:29You'd have like, have I got news for you?

19:30It was a big show or bottom or...

19:34Shooting stars.

19:35It was that kind of era.

19:36But stand-up wasn't really a thing.

19:39And he was the first sort of person that I'd seen who kind of was just funny, wasn't an alpha.

19:46And I was like, wow, he like, it was mind blowing.

19:50I think I could be.

19:51that's sort of a bit like how I'm funny.

19:53Like, you know what I mean?

19:54And me and Craig just wore that tape out.

19:58We just watched it over and over and over.

20:00And I didn't tell anyone about it.

20:03I just started writing these little kind of jokes and routines and ideas that none of which were any good, but it just became like my little...

20:12It was like my little fun place to go to every so often.

20:15It goes, I'm going to write some of my jokes.

20:17Did you perform them to anybody at that age?

20:19My first ever gig was in Bristol, a place called Virgin Murph.

20:21And I took all these jokes that I've been writing since I was 14 and I whittled it down to my best 20.

20:27And I did it there at Virgin Murph.

20:29I followed a guy.

20:31Who was eating a

20:32Banana with a spoon, singing the theme tune to the Sweeney.

20:37And another bloke that was sort of like, his act was to punch himself in the face.

20:41So in a sense, it didn't really matter how bad my 14-year-old stuff was.

20:46But yeah, so that was it.

20:47And then I kind of, some of it stuck, some of it didn't.

20:51But it was all like, I had this bit about like, how did Captain Kirk get through the entire, I wrote this when I was 14.

20:57But how did Captain Kirk get through all the Star Trek episodes without once flicking Spock's ears?

21:02So that was one of my first, and I sort of think it's all right.

21:05It's not bad.

21:05It's not bad.

21:06But that was the first joke I ever kind of told.

21:09And one of the things I found quite peculiar in your story is that your dad really pushed you to give comedy a go.

21:17Yeah.

21:17And that seems, of all the guests I sit here with, the thing that has typically made them...

21:24Famous or well-known or successful, their parents were usually quite against it and would much rather have them got a quote-unquote real job.

21:33Yes.

21:34So what were you doing at the time?

21:36And yeah, why was your dad supportive of it when, you know, at a time when that's probably not considered a...

21:44Highly profitable, high chance of success career.

21:48Yeah.

21:48I was working at the RAC in Bristol.

21:52I had a part-time job.

21:54And I was also doing stand-up.

21:56Because I started stand-up at university and then finished my degree, went home.

22:00And it was just kind of...

22:02doing probably three gigs a week for, you know, 50 quid a pop or like sometimes a hundred quid a pop, that kind of thing.

22:10And, um, uh, alongside this kind of like shift at the RAC.

22:17And it was, I was kind of like, I'd have a gig in Lincoln and then I'd have to drive back to get to work.

22:22And it was, it was kind of like knackering.

22:24And my dad basically,

22:27I remember, weirdly, not to name drop, but I was talking to Matthew McConaughey about this.

22:32And it's a very similar thing where his dad, when he told his dad he wasn't going to become a lawyer, he was going to become a comedian, an actor.

22:40His dad said, don't half-ass it.

22:42And that was a similar reaction to my dad.

22:44My dad basically was like, right, if you want to do this, you're 21.

22:49Go for it.

22:50Give yourself a year.

22:52Don't stop.

22:53Put everything into it.

22:54And then if it's not happening in a year, you stop, you get a proper job.

22:59And I kind of, I really respected that option that he gave me.

23:05Do you know what I mean?

23:05It was like, I'll be fine.

23:07It was like, don't fuck around.

23:09Properly go for it.

23:10Don't do three gigs a week.

23:11Do five gigs a week.

23:12Just do that.

23:14And then see where you are in a year.

23:16And I was at the Edinburgh Festival.

23:21I had about like eight days left from this kind of like contract.

23:25And my now agent saw me at the Edinburgh Festival have...

23:30Like a really good gig.

23:32And he kind of said, oh, does it always go that well?

23:34And I was like, all the time, you mad, yeah.

23:37But I was doing lots of sort of improvising and stuff like that.

23:40It was quite hit and miss back then.

23:42And then we went for a meal.

23:44He gave me, they used to have a thing called the Comedy Network, where it was like 30 gigs around universities.

23:50And that day, he booked me into these 30 gigs that were, at the time, I still remember the money.

23:56It's £150 per gig.

23:59Spreading out into November.

24:01And, but to work for a comedy company called Avalon, it's one of the biggest kind of comedy producers in the, in the UK.

24:10And then he signed me.

24:11And so it worked.

24:14And then I kind of moved to London and kind of, you know, slowly kind of,

24:17kept on keeping on.

24:19I really, I liked the deadline that my dad gave me.

24:22Do you know what I mean?

24:23Because it was kind of, and I really respected it.

24:25And he had this amazing quote on his office that said something like, I think it's by T.S.

24:32Eliot or T.E.

24:33Eliot that said, those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their mind, wake in the day to find that all is vanity, but the dreamers of the day are dangerous for they act upon their visions with open eyes and make them happen.

24:45And that

24:47is at the core of my dad.

24:49So he's kind of quite disciplined, but he also has a fuck it, go for it.

24:53But yeah, I just went for it.

24:56But also because I loved it.

24:57And I didn't love working at the RSC and I didn't, I'd finished my degree and I knew what I was doing.

25:02I wanted to do.

§03Transcript — part 3

25:03And I just, I just worked my bollocks off, man.

25:06I did every gig you can imagine, but loved it.

25:09And my brother used to come to them.

25:10We traveled down to Brighton to do 10 minutes.

25:14And, you know, we'd have to sort of bunny hop the car to Reading Station because we didn't fill up.

25:19And, you know, it was real kind of fly by the seat of your pants stuff.

25:23But just...

25:27The best.

25:27It was the best.

25:28It was like, it's the best night out.

25:29You go to Plymouth and you, you know, it's a six hour round journey, but you do 20 minutes and it goes great.

25:35And then the promoter says, Oh, we'll get you back.

25:38And you're like, brilliant.

25:38I go back to Plymouth, you know?

25:40And, um, yeah, it's sort of all worked out.

25:44Something is so interesting when I speak to successful comedians, because

25:48It's one of the purest forms of insanely, I say insanely, but if you were trying to reach a lucrative outcome, one of the insane paths,

26:02one of the most insane, pure followings of one's passion, because...

26:07It seems to be the case that you follow this passion, which doesn't promise to ever pay you that well, or promises no chance of success, and you follow it for years, and you're paid 50 quid, 100 quid.

26:19Yeah.

26:20And then, I mean, I speak to the ones that were successful, right?

26:23Yeah.

26:24But when you look back on that period of your life, and if I was to say, well, like, what are the key things?

26:29You've identified hard work as one of them.

26:32But what are...

26:32are like the key things that made you get here when so many won't get here?

26:40Hard work, luck.

26:45Natural talent, perspiration.

26:53But mostly, and I would say luck is a big thing, luck and hard work are the big ones, and taking your opportunity and having little

27:01kind of moments and always listening to the crowd as well, because it's sort of that thing where certainly as a live comedian, you can't bullshit people.

27:09Like there is, you get a tangible answer every time.

27:13The laughter is yes.

27:14The silence is no.

27:16You just can't fuck with that.

27:17Like that's, that is the, there is a truth to the, to the gig.

27:21If, if they're laughing, it's fine.

27:23If they're not, it ain't.

27:25And that's the big thing, really.

27:27It's just kind of, you know, all great comedians listen to the audience because they're all that matters.

27:33And.

27:35You can be critically lauded.

27:38You can be, you can win awards, you know, but ultimately if, if you don't hear laughter, you won't be here.

27:46And it's, and you have to have new stuff.

27:48That's the big thing.

27:49You have to, you have to make them laugh and constantly, constantly renew yourself.

27:53That's the thing.

27:56To kind of just stick around.

27:58You make the audience laugh.

27:59They all burst out laughing.

28:01They clap.

28:01They say, oh, you're amazing.

28:02After the gig, they say, we're going to rebook you.

28:04You're the best person ever.

28:05Does that impact your self-esteem in a positive way?

28:08Yeah, of course.

28:09Yeah.

28:09Imagine that.

28:10But yeah, it's, yeah, it's the best, man.

28:12It's just, but that feeling when you do the Brighton Comedia and you're 20 and you do 10 minutes and it goes really well.

28:19And Stephen Grant, who is still the booker at the Brighton Comedia, says, oh, we'll get you back for a 20.

28:25That journey home.

28:27That's the best.

28:28Or someone says, are you going to do the, we're going to get you back to host the Lincoln student night.

28:34And you're like, yeah, do you want to do it monthly?

28:36Yes.

28:36And you build up this like little following in Lincoln because it's, it's, it's, of course your self-esteem is just up there because you feel like you're,

28:49a youth team footballer that's breaking into the first team.

28:51That's how it must feel like.

28:52You feel like you're kind of Phil Foden and you get these little opportunities.

28:57It's probably a similar thing with footballers.

28:59Like what makes Phil Foden?

29:01Probably that he has natural talent.

29:03He works his ass off.

29:04And when there's opportunities, he's kind of clinical enough to take advantage of them.

29:09Do you know what I mean?

29:10And learn from mistakes.

29:11And comedy is constantly about learning from mistakes because you go, you do new material, it doesn't work, you tweak it, you tweak it, you tweak it until you get something that kind of makes them laugh.

29:24One would then assume that comedians have like just tremendously high self-esteem.

29:30If they're laughing, yeah.

29:32And the interesting as well is how quickly it crumbles down if it goes badly.

29:36And I've got a friend of mine, Al Pitcher, who's a comic in Sweden.

29:39And we talk about this a lot where when you're low, irrespective of what you've done before, you just feel like such deep, deep shame that you've been unable to kind of make them laugh.

29:53But then that makes you work hard and go again because you know the excitement you get from making them laugh.

29:58So it's this, it's an unhealthy treadmill.

30:01But at the end of that treadmill, there is this incredible cherry.

30:06Deep, deep shame.

30:08Just because it's embarrassing.

30:09It's like you've tried to make...

30:12Like even this, I'm really enjoying this.

30:14It's really fun, but it's very serious.

30:16And we've got like a little mini audience over there I can hear.

30:19And every little laugh, my brain's going, that's good.

30:22And when they're not, I'm like, oh, fucking hell.

30:24Yeah, totally.

30:25Just because you sort of feel like, you know, it's sort of that weird thing for me.

30:29Laughter is truth and victory and silence is failure.

30:33But then the interesting thing about that is when you watch a performance, you actually realize that.

30:40Of another comic, you go, wow, there's real power in the silence, actually, which took me a long time to realize, because I was very, initially, just keep it up, keep it up, keep it up.

30:50And then you kind of, you know, you watch someone like Chappelle, for example, and you go, he's a real master of the silence, and you don't lose...

31:01him.

31:02And you're not away.

31:03You're captivated.

31:05But it takes a really long time to feel that you've earned the right to captivate an audience.

31:11But there's captivation in silence.

31:14But who fucking thinks they're captivating?

31:16That's the hardest thing I find is to kind of, you can never know whether you've been captivating or dull.

31:23Because the sound is the same.

31:25Do you know what I mean?

31:26It's sort of that weird thing of like, I mean, I don't come off stage going, was that captivating or dull?

31:30Yeah, yeah.

31:31But hopefully, yeah.

31:34It's really interesting.

31:34So when you have conversations like this, because there is no, like, there's not huge amounts of laughter because it's a serious conversation.

31:42I love chats like this.

31:43This is the best, man.

31:44But yeah, go on.

31:45That's what I was basically asking was, when we have comedians come here, we've had Russell Kane, we've had obviously Jimmy Carr.

31:54They do make a lot of jokes.

31:56Even before we're filming, I think, you know, Jack will like put the microphone close to Jimmy Carr's mouth.

32:02And I think he said something like, just keep it like a fist away.

32:05And he said, that's what your mother said.

32:08And it's almost like a Tourette's of humor.

32:13And I wonder how you kind of get through life like that.

32:16And it almost feels like uncontrollable.

32:18Yeah, honestly, that is the best description of it.

32:21Like there's a joke that I think sums up comedians'brains the best by a brilliant comedian called Mitch Hedberg.

32:29He's no longer with us.

32:30One of the greatest comedians of all time.

32:33And this joke sums up the brain that comedians have.

32:38And I'll do his impression.

32:40If there's fans of Mitch out there, forgive me for this.

32:42But it works better if you try and do it as him.

32:44He kind of goes, I mumble, man.

32:46I mumble a lot off stage.

32:48I'm a mumbler.

32:49So I'll be with my friend.

32:51And I'll say something and he'll be like, what?

32:54And I'll say it again a little bit louder.

32:56And he'll be like, I didn't hear you.

32:59And then the third time I'll say it and he still can't hear me.

33:01So I'll say it to him.

33:02But now I'm yelling at him.

33:04That tree is far away.

33:08And that's what it is.

33:09It's this thing in his head that's gone, oh, the tree's far away.

33:14And it's a joke about the mania.

33:17Like, what were you on about?

33:18I was just saying that tree's over there.

33:20It's not.

33:21It's further away than, and it's that thing.

33:23The amount of times I've been with my wife and you sort of say something.

33:27And she's like, what?

33:28Fuck you.

33:29I saw this bin in Primrose Hill the other day that generally said, protect, um,

33:34our birds this was the line on the bin protect our birds there's a picture of like a a bird

33:40and respect their way of life and i just went into this thing of like i don't know you show respect to a fucking but like in my head i'm just kind of like i didn't know there were disgruntled chaffinches all over primrose hill i've never seen that on the news of just kind of going

33:54today a bird was the victim of of uh you know of somebody attacking him and my brain was just like whirring around with this and she can see

34:02I'm kind of full zombie eyes just gone.

34:05Shit, what are you on about?

34:06Go, I don't know, fucking bin.

34:08And it's sort of that.

34:09That's kind of the way that comics brains are, I think.

34:13You spend a lot of time playing around in your head.

34:18And then you kind of go, oh, that might be something, you know, like we would the other day.

34:24I was talking to a friend about sperm donors and somebody had had, there was this website and on that you could sort of get, you could get your batch.

34:35And one of them was like, you know,

34:39He was like six foot four, Swedish, keen reader, and you're really good job.

34:46And you're like, yeah, that's exactly what I'd say if I was trying to flog Spunk.

34:49Do you know what I mean?

34:49You're not going to kind of go, bit of a loner, comes in every Wednesday.

34:54We've had to stop him.

34:55But my point being, we were having a chat about sperm donating and my brain was sort of off in this sort of fantasy land.

35:04Where's the bit?

35:05But I just found it so funny that I don't know any true six foot four high achieving intellectuals that kind of just get a nip out to a spath into a pot.

35:14Do you know what I mean?

35:15It doesn't exist.

35:16Everyone's Tinder buyer.

35:17Totally.

35:19But the point is you spend a lot of time in that kind of fun zone.

35:25And I think that's the brain that a lot of comics have.

35:28Speaking of that brain spiraling, after you've done a gig or, you know,

35:32Can you remember a time where you like go on Google, you go on the Daily Mail or something, Twitter, and you look at articles of what people are saying of you and it has a really profound like negative impact on your, what you think about yourself and you start to question yourself?

35:47I don't do it.

35:48Like I, I...

35:51Came up in the days of MySpace and whatnot.

35:53And that was, I've never been on Twitter.

35:55I've never been on Facebook.

35:58I do a bit of Instagram.

36:00It's the same with reviews.

36:01It's a very funny thing.

36:02You get a five-star review and your brain's like, exactly.

36:05Yep.

36:05Correct.

36:06You get a shitty review and you're like, what the fuck?

36:08And you realize.

36:10That you have to pay no heed to it.

36:12The only, I mean, it's flattering and it's great and it's lovely to get nice reviews and anyone who says otherwise is bullshitting, but it's with social media, you can't, it's too much to kind of,

36:27seek validation from people, particularly in the world that we live in at the minute, where you're having to check to see if you've been correct.

36:35You're not going to be right for everybody.

36:36And some people will not like a joke or some people suit, you know, you just have to try and stay where you are.

§04Transcript — part 4

36:43So I've definitely had times like that.

36:46When I was younger and it just crushes you.

36:49And you realize, actually, all I'm doing is paying attention to the really negative things that people say.

36:56And there'll be like, you know, one out of 50 that's super horrible, rather than focusing on them.

37:02on the kind things and you realize actually my brain focuses on the negative and you go yeah they're right actually yeah yeah yeah yeah i am that yeah yeah yeah correct correct correct it just doesn't make me

37:13a better more functional human being it just it hurts so i don't do it do you know what i mean so i just kind of but people must have said to you your agents your manager said oh get on twitter that'll help

37:23Yeah, well, what I do and what I love about social media is I like making things and then putting it on there.

37:29And so putting clips of stand-up or the TV show or whatever.

37:33But I don't...

37:35I'm lucky.

37:36I have a...

37:37If I want to do comedy, I can go to a comedy club and...

37:40it's a dark room and I can howl or I can scream or I can be silly.

37:44I can do whatever I want.

37:45It's in a comedy club.

37:46Social media is the worst comedy club in the world because people aren't there to laugh.

37:51Do you know what I mean?

37:52Everyone there is there to laugh.

37:54And there's this sort of lovely bonding experience.

37:57We're here for a reason.

37:58Whereas social media, some people, most people in the world are just up for a hoot, but some people...

38:06Are looking to be angry or they're looking to be enraged.

38:10So it just seems naive to put humor into such a volatile club.

38:16Can you imagine if it was a club called Twitter, right?

38:19Hey, do you want to come play Twitter?

38:20Can you imagine how hard that comedy club would be?

38:22Do you know what I mean?

38:23And so I just don't, I don't bother with it, but I like making things that are finished and then putting them out.

38:29But I kind of literally emailed them to my agent.

38:32than say, oh, we should put this bit from the show on.

38:35I don't even know.

38:35I haven't got my logins.

38:36I don't know.

38:37Really?

38:37Yeah.

38:37What a nice way to live.

38:39Yeah, but, and also maybe it's because I'm 41 and I kind of came up in an era where stand-up was still playing clubs.

38:47If you're a young guy now,

38:51it must be completely different.

38:52And there's loads of kind of great comics that have kind of come up through social media or through podcasts.

38:58And I love that because there's particularly podcasts, I think, with like young comics, there's a real air of punk about it where you kind of go in, I'm not going to wait for TV to give me anything.

39:07I'm going to make my own thing.

39:09And then people gravitate to that.

39:11And, uh, and it's, it, that's your thing.

39:14And, and you, you can't mess with that.

39:16Whereas I love that.

39:18I love the fact that people aren't going to be waiting for TV to anoint them, but I was very lucky that I was just doing live gigs.

39:25And then when I was 26,

39:26after having done stand-up since I was 18, somebody said, do you want to go on TV?

39:29And I kind of went the traditional path, as it were, and kind of social media grew alongside it, but I was never, I never needed it.

39:40Which is not to say I couldn't have been bigger if I cultivated it, but the content I like making,

39:46exists in the club and it's finished when I do a Netflix special or it's finished when I do a TV show.

39:54It's in a state of flux when I'm in a comedy club.

39:58It's in a constant state of becoming.

40:01And the problem was...

40:02social media, it makes everything finite and tangible.

40:07And sometimes it's not.

40:09Sometimes jokes evolve or routines evolve.

40:11If you put it out there, it might be rubbish or it might be ill-conceived.

40:16It might upset people.

40:19But by the end of it,

40:20having worked in it in a comedy club, it might say exactly what you want it to say.

40:24It's a really sort of holy space, the comedy club.

40:29When your cat is acting weirder, or your dog is being louder, your turtle moves slower.

40:39Hello, Ted.

40:40Your cat seems thirsty-er.

40:43Whoa, slow down, buddy.

40:44Or your puppy is acting clumsy-er.

40:49Day or night, if you don't know what's wrong, know where to go.

40:53Veg ER for Pets, this is Kate.

40:55Veg, the better, kinder ER for pets.

41:00If you're the purchasing manager at a manufacturing plant, you know having a trusted partner makes all the difference.

41:06That's why, hands down, you count on Grainger for auto reordering.

41:10With on-time restocks, your team will have the cut-resistant gloves they need at the start of their shift.

41:16And you can end your day knowing they've got safety well in hand.

41:20Call 1-800-GRAINGER, click Grainger.com, or just stop by.

41:24Grainger, for the ones who get it done.

41:31Versus Twitter.

41:32As a comedian, do you ever feel a sense of imposter syndrome?

41:35Yeah, I think I don't know any great comic that doesn't.

41:39I'm talking to Billy Connolly.

41:41Billy Connolly used to get nervous.

41:45Eat Billy Connolly.

41:47Was worried that the audience wouldn't love him, that he wasn't worth their evening.

41:54Billy Connolly.

41:55If Billy Connolly is thinking that, then, you know, you know, all of us are.

41:59And it's, I think if you get to that stage where you're like, this is going to be great.

42:02I know it's going to be great.

42:04It probably won't.

42:05You have to have a healthy degree of,

42:07of imposter syndrome in order to be the best version of yourself.

42:13Because you have to kind of, you know, you have to burst into that party and be the best, funniest you, because that's what's on the ticket.

42:21That's the thing.

42:22And the only way to do that is kind of hard work, you know.

42:27But to just rock up, for example, to an arena tour, having done no kind of warm-ups, it'll be fine.

42:33It fucking won't.

42:35Arrogance destroys stand-up.

42:37You kind of have to go to small clubs before you start doing a tour to kind of know you're okay to get rid of that.

42:46And without imposter syndrome, you don't grow as an artist.

42:50Do you know what I mean?

42:52But it can be tough to deal with psychologically, right?

42:54Because it sounds like it must be...

42:57similar to living with a sense of like self-scrutiny, which can be quite unhealthy.

43:03I don't know.

43:05Yeah.

43:06Yeah.

43:07I guess the,

43:10The key thing is to, you've got to, I think you have to leave on your own terms.

43:16Do you know what I mean?

43:16As in stop, there's a while where this won't be healthy forever because it is a strange way to live with that.

43:24Do you feel that?

43:24You feel like it won't be?

43:26Yeah, just because you just kind of go, there would just come a time where you're,

43:30you're just, you're not as sharp as you once were.

43:32And you're like, ah, fine.

43:33I'll just go work in local radio.

43:35But like, like not, that's not a dig at anyone in local radio.

43:39You do important stuff.

43:40Keep those weather checks coming, but doing kind of arenas.

43:46For a long time is, you know, I've been doing them since like 2012 now.

43:49And that is a crazy level of pressure because you sort of do, we do, I do them in like a month long block in the UK and it's kind of right.

43:59Okay.

44:00Yeah.

44:01You know, and then you get through it and then you're like, okay, go again, go again.

44:05And that isn't necessarily the healthiest way to be forever.

44:11Does it have mental health implications on you?

44:13Because if you're living with that kind of internal fluctuation all the time and that anticipation, those feelings of self-doubt that, you know, they say that anxiety in particular is like concern about the future.

44:26If you're constantly...

44:27thinking about the future, that moment in that arena, do you feel anxious at all?

44:32Well, the funny thing is the only time you don't feel anxious is when you're doing stand-up.

44:38But weirdly, that's the respite.

44:42But leading up to it, it's nerve-wracking.

44:44But as soon as you step on the stage, you know exactly what you're going to do.

44:49And it's fun.

44:50It's the most fun in the world.

44:51And then it's the leading up to it and the afterwards.

44:55Was that all right?

44:55Was that fine?

44:56It was good, right?

44:56Fine.

44:57You know, I think you sort of just make your peace with it.

44:59And like you say, it's...

45:01It leaves you mentally fragile, but I don't know of another way of doing it.

45:08Have you suffered with anxiety, though?

45:10Oh, yeah, massively.

45:11I like it sort of...

45:12But I think it's sort of that thing, like, right, I have these gigs, but don't do this work.

45:18I'm going to look like a fool.

45:20People are going to boo me.

45:21There's going to be anger, blah, blah, blah, blah.

45:23So you go, so that fear drives you to write and perform and get a show that's good enough, right?

45:29And I've not found anything that was a useful motivator.

45:31But like you say, it's a tough way of being.

45:34Like Johnny Wilkinson, I remember seeing this about him.

45:36Johnny Wilkinson kicked the winning...

45:40I don't know rugby, but the winning World Cup kick.

45:44Yeah, right.

45:45And as the ball sort of soared over,

45:49Apparently, he said to himself, his brain went, you nearly missed that.

45:54As it went over, like, and he's won the World Cup.

45:57And the next day he was training and he was kicking goals again to ensure that he didn't make that mistake.

46:04And unfortunately,

46:07For him, that's what makes him magnificent.

46:10You know what I mean?

46:11And I think it's sort of that thing where you go, the older you get, you can try and adapt it and try and figure out, you know, and we're all in a constant state of becoming as regards to sort of mental health and trying to,

46:27figure out a healthier way of being the best you without it being so draining.

46:33But he scored the winning goal, the World Cup, you know, and it's sort of, it's kind of shitty, but that determination is what sort of made him.

46:43And it's kind of,

46:46I guess the thing is, it's about kind of ensuring that you have enough kindness to yourself around that so that you kind of give yourself a break from time to time.

46:56And that the overall picture is happy.

46:58Yeah, but I don't know of a better motivator than fear to make good stuff.

47:04Like if it exists, I mean, can you recognize that?

47:08Do you have, what is there another thing that you have?

47:11I guess excitement.

47:13If you could turn fear into excitement, that would be a healthier way of doing it.

47:18Yeah.

47:18But I just don't find it as, oh yeah, it's so much fun because we'll go there and it's going to be great.

47:23But then you wouldn't do the prep, right?

47:24As you say, if I was excited, I wouldn't, I'd probably neglect.

47:29Well, that would be the thing.

47:30So that, so you'd have like six months of joy.

47:33Yeah.

47:33And then you do the thing, it'd be fucking awful.

47:36And then, whereas at least this way you have six months of tension and then you have joy and then the kind of joy lasts throughout the tour.

47:44And then after the tour.

47:45And then after the tour, you go back to fear to get there.

47:50But I don't know.

47:51But I don't have the answers and I don't know what works for other people.

47:57But for me, it is that.

47:59And it's something that I'm trying to address.

48:01Which is?

48:02Living in fear too much.

48:03Living in fear too much or putting too much responsibility on the thing.

48:08But I don't know of another way.

48:09And I'm sort of, you know.

48:12Seeing people and trying to figure it out, but I don't know.

48:15What motivates you, for example?

48:17I completely get it.

48:18It's a trade-off, right?

48:19If you want to achieve the goal, you need this unfortunate.

§05Transcript — part 5

48:21I always think this.

48:22I think everything has a cost.

48:24Yeah.

48:25And everything good in my life that I love comes with a cost.

48:29It could even be a financial cost or it could be some other type of sacrifice.

48:33And those that have risen the highest in certain professions, it's so obvious to see the cost in their lives.

48:38It's much more obvious than everyone else.

48:40So I sit here with my guests.

48:41I sit with Eddie Hearn.

48:43He's built the number one boxing promotion company, but he never ever sees his wife and kids.

48:48And he's like, it's like unsatisfiable as a human.

48:51Yeah.

48:52You know, that's why his book is called Relentless.

48:53And I get, well, that's the clear, quote unquote, cost potentially.

48:57Yeah.

48:58And yeah, with what you're saying, being an arena performer,

49:02one would think that you spend a lot of time in a certain mental place, which is not always great.

49:10Yeah, but then I was just thinking then,

49:13I was thinking about,

49:16The fascinating thing about life is you have these, so for example, we did 10 nights at the Albert Hall, which is like a world record.

49:24It's mental.

49:25It was extraordinary that kind of little me that used to sit in the back of mom and dad's Ford Fiesta, watching the raindrops go down the window.

49:33I did 10 nights at the Albert Hall.

49:34It was mental.

49:37And it was fun.

49:37It was brilliant.

49:38It was great.

49:38But it was like, you're playing snooker, you know, get all the reds, then knock the rest of them down, done.

49:44You know what I mean?

49:45But it's that lovely kind of controlled snooker brain.

49:48Joke, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke, end of the show.

49:51Hooray.

49:51Yeah.

49:52Go again.

49:53Right.

49:53But it was fun.

49:55That exists from a sort of dopamine level on a very similar level as...

50:01Being on my stag do with my cousins in Vegas and hearing my cousin Lewis tell a story.

50:06And so I think it's my way of figuring it out is to have as many of those dopamine hits of joy, whether it's good food, good company,

50:20travel, books, music, whatever.

50:24So you're kind of constantly feeding yourself.

50:28Like, because if you just, that's the big realization I've had that if you only try and get happiness from work, for me, it doesn't work to sit around and hope that your life outside of work can compete with this joy that you get from work.

50:42The only way you can do it is to surround yourself.

50:44with people that you think are fantastic or experiences that you think are fantastic.

50:49And it can even be little things.

50:50It's just like, you know, like we did some gigs in Dubai and we went to a water park every day and I'm 41 and I went with my friends who are all big, big lads.

51:03And we were on this rubber dinghy and we kept going down this slide.

51:06We honestly, it was the joy, the silliness of the day led into the fun of the gig.

51:13And I remember reading a thing about Chappelle, that Chappelle, when he's on tour, he brings his pals, he brings friends along so that he's...

51:22he's sort of living, the joy of life is connected with the joy of work.

51:27He's never sort of sat backstage with his notepad, kind of waiting for an hour and a half to go on.

51:32And if that's something I'm trying to do, I'm trying to kind of involve people more in kind of work and be less kind of, you need to stay away, I need to concentrate, you know?

51:41To blend the two.

51:41And you kind of totally, yeah.

51:42And you talk about this in the same way with you, a couple of moments ago, you talked about

51:47living for the week and then kind of like compartmentalizing that and then having your life on the weekend and how that doesn't feel like the best way to live either because you have five days of misery and two days of like pissed, you know, getting, trying to find the...

51:59But I think also the pandemic has recalibrated a lot of people that you actually go, we were kind of locked away from each other and we were locked away from experience.

52:07And the happiness of something appearing from nowhere.

52:13Those masks.

52:14magical nights down the pub or watching football or listening to music or having a barbecue with friends where a moment unintentionally becomes a memory.

52:26And we were kind of robbed of those social moments that created memories because we were sat with this disease lurking, not knowing where our lives were going to become.

52:36We kind of felt like we were sort of immune from something.

52:39This heavy happening to us.

52:41And it didn't, it happened to everybody.

52:44And it feels like because of that, we are now kind of coming out of the cave, as it were, with a real desire to find as much

52:59majesty in the universe as possible.

53:01But I genuinely feel a lot of people, like audiences post-pandemic, like even British audiences, who are, you know, by a stretch, the toughest crowds in the world, like by a stretch.

53:15It's that lovely English common and cunt make me laugh.

53:17You know what I mean?

53:18Whereas like in America, they're already up.

53:21You do comedy clubs in America, they stand up as you walk in.

53:24You know what I mean?

53:25And...

53:26But British crowds now, because people want connection and they want experience because it was kind of robbed of us.

53:36So it feels like it could be a really glorious time.

53:40And like you were saying with the tour that you've got planned, what a fantastic time.

53:44way of doing that rather than just, I could just do, you could just do a Q and a, but you're putting, you know, you're making what sounds like a really pulsating live theater show.

53:53It's going to blow people's minds.

53:55And that's what I want to do.

54:00That's what audiences want.

54:01There's a friend of mine called Alex Edelman who said, I like stuff that's ambitious and finished.

54:07And that's kind of where I want to go.

54:10And I feel like that's where audiences want to be.

54:12They want to see something that's going to rock them, you know, and blow them away.

54:19What a target to aim for, to a thing that's going to be, I'm going to try and make a thing that's the best night out that anyone's ever had.

54:26One of the things you said was, just a couple of moments ago, was that you've seen someone to help you with that kind of fear, living in fear state that we described.

54:36What do you mean by you've seen someone?

54:37Oh, just a bit of therapy to, yeah, try and...

54:44Have like sort of little coping mechanisms.

54:46You know, you sort of just get, you get far enough into it where you go, maybe just have a bit of help now to recognize kind of moments of mania and how to kind of manage them a bit better.

54:58So nothing super exciting.

55:00It's not a shaman or, you know, it's not any kind of ayahuasca or mushrooms.

55:05It's just a bloke in a,

55:06in an office.

55:07So what was your intention when you went to Bloke in the Office?

55:11Just to kind of make it a bit easier.

55:14so that you weren't loading it too much.

55:18So you can still like, you know, work efficiently without it becoming debilitating.

55:28Because I think that's the thing probably a lot of people suffer from, that by using fear as a motivator, sometimes...

55:34you're probably losing 20% of your potential through kind of panic.

55:42So yeah, it was sort of, God, I sound like a fucking robot when I said that, but you know what I mean?

55:46It was sort of that thing of like, just trying to figure out, okay, is there another way of doing this?

55:51Was there?

55:52Uh, yeah.

55:53It's, but even recognizing when you're, um, just a bit full on and just kind of go, all right, just calm down.

56:02But I'm a real sucker for like little quotes, man.

56:04Or I was weirdly, I'm interviewing Will Smith on Thursday, which is mad for 10 minutes.

56:09I've got a 10 minute interview with Will Smith.

56:10I'm so jealous.

56:11They, they emailed me and said, Oh, cause we have the same publisher.

56:13Like Will Smith's coming to town.

56:16I was like, can I get on the podcast?

56:17He's like, he's got no time.

56:19Yeah.

56:19I'd love 10 minutes.

56:20Well, but this is it.

56:21Well, I'll sneak you along, man.

56:22Let's do it.

56:22I see we can double up.

56:24But, but.

56:25I was listening to the beginning of his book and it's a brilliant story about his dad made him and his brother build a wall.

56:34And it's just this is very, very simple analogy.

56:37You've probably read it.

56:37It's just brick by brick.

56:39And that's particularly when you're making a TV show and you're writing topical jokes.

56:44Sometimes, well, sometimes it's really hard to make stories interesting and to write jokes about things that are going on.

56:51And in that instance this week, that really helped me brick by brick.

56:55And I'm able to kind of go, okay, yeah, cool.

56:58I can get stuff from that.

56:59You know, I'm very much a, from a philosophical point of view or a therapy point of view, I need...

57:06Pointers and tips to make me better.

57:10I'm not a enjoy every sandwich kind of a guy because it's a fucking sandwich.

57:14Like, you know what I mean?

57:15Like being the sandwich, just it's a fucking sandwich.

57:19Like I need, I'm very much kind of Eastern philosophy of like, okay, how do we, how do we make ourselves better?

57:26I love the idea of

57:28kind of sort of self-improvement and being the best you.

57:31Um,

57:33So I find quotes help that, you know?

57:36And even talking to somebody like that I am, like a bit of an expert, he'll say something or you'll say something and you kind of unravel a thing.

57:44And even like what we're doing now, sort of having a chat.

57:48About the process.

57:51And I have my friend, James Bay, the singer, we, particularly during COVID, we spoke a lot about

58:00everything and about creativity and talking to like-minded individuals about the pursuit of a joke or a song.

58:08Or any kind of piece of art, I find really, really...

58:14Interesting.

58:14I love it.

58:15I'm so interested in the way that musicians create.

58:18I'm so envious because they sit in a cool room or they go to like the studio and they kind of write and they jam and they riff and they create a thing and then they perform it.

58:27Whereas the musicians I know are very envious of the way the comedians create, which is you go in front of a crowd.

58:34And you create with, not for, you know, it would be like the comparison, like Chris Martin going in front of a crowd and chiseling and going, it was all blue.

58:43Nope.

58:44Okay.

58:44It was all green.

58:45Nope.

58:46It was all yellow, yellow, right.

58:47I'll do yellow tomorrow.

58:48And it sort of is that kind of process.

58:51So talking to different creatives,

58:54or anyone who is sort of an expert in managing yourself is something that I find really comforting or, or, you know, like

59:09even I've really gone to this guy, Andrew Huberman at the minute, he's like a professor from Stanford and there's all these kind of,

59:15neuro-linguistic things you can do to help yourself, you know, like cold showers and all this and Wim Hof breathing and all this kind of stuff.

59:22Does that stuff work for you?

59:23Maybe it's psychosomatic, but yeah, it feels like it does.

59:27Do you know what I mean?

59:27You feel like you've done your...

59:30It's like going to the gym.

59:31It just feels like medicine for you, doesn't it?

59:33You always feel like no one enjoys going to the gym.

59:37You know, I imagine Arnold Schwarzenegger did, but most people are just like, right, do it.

59:41And it feels like a nice little tick for your soul.

59:43And it just,

59:44It feels like therapy is almost, well, it's exactly that, isn't it?

59:48It's a workout for your brain.

59:49Or having a conversation like this is a really nice workout for your brain, where we're both in kind of like a strange dreamlike state, where we're kind of having a deep conversation.

60:00We're kind of riffing.

60:02But somehow, without planning any of this, we're getting to a deeper place.

60:07And yet it's very strange because there's people driving, listening to us right now, which is very weird.

60:14It's weird, isn't it?

60:14Do you know what I mean?

60:15It's so weird, yeah.

60:16And well, that's the fascinating thing.

60:17In the future as well.

60:18In the future, man.

60:19Yeah.

60:20But you're in the now, aren't you?

60:21Derek, left there.

60:23But it's sort of that fascinating thing that you let people travel to work with you.

60:28It's the coolest.

60:29Yeah, yeah.

60:29It feels like a huge, you know, especially because it comes out on Monday as well.

60:32Yeah.

60:33Which is a particularly like interesting day to be in their ear at 6am.

60:37Yeah.

60:38It's so funny, is it?

60:39What are the podcasts you listen to?

60:40What are you going to?

60:42If you lock me up, if you find out, like, I listen to like serial killer podcasts.

60:46Do you?

60:47Yeah, like Theranos, The Trial of Elizabeth Holmes, like crime and serial killers tends to be my like go-to.

§06Transcript — part 6

60:53Yeah.

60:53And do you know what?

60:54It's actually, I probably know why now, because I'm so fascinated.

60:57The reason why I do this podcast, I'm so fascinated by people and their psychology.

61:01And for me,

61:03criminals and serial killers are the most extreme and fascinating amongst us.

61:07So I would love to have a podcast where I could interview serial killers and be like, why did you do that?

61:10Do you know?

61:11Yeah.

61:11It's basically what I'm doing now.

61:14Slightly different fascinations.

61:15Yeah.

61:16It's just, I get so fascinated by them.

61:18I'm watching these serial killer documentaries, trying to understand the pattern in what made them like from their childhood and their dads at this, and then kill on the playground, punched them.

61:25And then they just started killing people.

61:27Yeah.

61:27So yeah.

61:28What about you?

61:29Sort of more fantasy football stuff, really.

61:32Oh, interesting.

61:34No, I kind of, yeah.

61:36No, no, no.

61:37Yeah, it's because a friend of mine does one.

61:40Yeah, I listen to Tim Ferriss and Andrew Huberman.

61:46Those are my go-tos.

61:47Mark Maron I really like.

61:49Yeah, yeah.

61:49She has some really great interviews.

61:53You know, I love, there's a brilliant interview with Maren and Seinfeld, which is one of my favorites.

61:58Like I really got into Jerry Seinfeld during the lockdown, which is kind of so late.

62:03Do you know what I mean?

62:04I just feel like I've gone, hey, radio had a good.

62:07But...

62:09But yeah, I kind of, yeah, that's my thing.

62:11I like hearing people that I don't know and have in my mind blown.

62:14That's what I like about podcasts.

62:16I'm not into serial, I find it too, do you know what I mean?

62:20People say that.

62:20Too icky for me.

62:22And you call yourself murderinos, don't you?

62:25Is that what?

62:25I don't know.

62:26That's the name.

62:26If you're a big fan, you're a murderino.

62:28Oh, really?

62:28Wow.

62:30I fit in.

62:30Yeah.

62:31One of the things you were touching on there about these kind of practical hacks and quotes and stuff that allow you to kind of get to a better place reminded me of something that I read about you regarding your pre-

62:44performance routine and superstitions.

62:46Yeah.

62:47Before you're going up on stage and there's, you know, 15,000 people out there and they're all got their arms folded and demanding you to make them laugh.

62:54What are you doing backstage to get yourself in the state you need to, to perform at your optimal?

63:00So if it's arenas, we get football and we just have a kick around.

63:03Really?

63:04Yeah, yeah.

63:04So we just sort of do keepy-ups and you've got to do 10 before you go on stage.

63:08Between...

63:08Oh, okay.

63:09So me, Kumar and Pete, and then Steve, and we've got to do 10 keepy-ups before we go on stage.

63:15You can't really do that if you're doing a small club.

63:18There's a brilliant comedy club called Top Secret in London, and it's very, very small.

63:24And before that, I'm literally in an alley that stinks of piss looking at notes.

63:29So it's always looking at notes, thinking what you're going to do, sort of trying to be calm to listen to that inner voice that says, hey, you could also do this.

63:41And that kind of weird, kind of funny that just appears from nowhere.

63:47That's always the best way of starting a gig.

63:52And that's it really.

63:52But there isn't really a psyching up process.

63:55I like watch, if I'm doing a big show, I'll watch my friend who's supporting me.

64:00See what, get, sneak in the back of the theater or the arena and get a feel for them.

64:05And then just go for it.

64:08Why keep you up?

64:09Is that just a tradition or is it like a...

64:11No, it's just sort of if you're...

64:14Yeah, there's maybe it's just that weird thing of like, right, I've done 10.

64:17I can, you know, and then if you don't do 10 the first time and it falls, you got to do 20.

64:23And if it falls 30.

64:24So do you know what I mean?

64:25So you have to do it.

64:27And then it becomes this weird, like little thing.

64:31You just don't want that in the back of your head.

64:32You can't do a big gig going, shit, man, I only did 24 keepy-ups.

64:37So it's superstition.

64:38Yeah, like, yeah, and I just,

64:42And I kind of like, I spend a lot of time with my tour manager, Kumar, the mighty Kumar Kamalagaran,

64:49and just chatting about stuff and just being kind of loose and sort of, yeah, just sort of getting in the zone of being silly and just talking about...

65:01Any old bollocks to try and sort of get things going or, you know, it's like if my brother comes on tour with me, that's always fun because it's kind of, there'll just be a bit of, a bit of nothing kind of happening.

65:13And like, yeah, so I like sort of just hanging out and chatting, talking bollocks and sort of loosening yourself up really.

65:20That's kind of what I do beforehand.

65:22This is a very, I don't know why this question came into my head, but it tends to be the kind of things I ask on this podcast.

65:28What was the lowest moment of your life?

65:31What was the lowest moment of my life?

65:35I think when my granddad died, that was like, I was, it was, yeah, it was awful.

65:41And I was incredibly lucky because I, how was I?

65:46I was thinking I was 36 when granddad died.

65:50And he, I'd never had anyone in my family, um,

65:56Well, my cousin Shane had died when I was 18.

65:59And, but I'd never been to a funeral.

66:02So it was Shane and granddad.

66:04So there'd been this huge gap where nobody died.

66:07And, you know, this sort of beautiful family that I belong to, they were all kind of there.

66:13And my granddad was sort of like unbelievably...

66:17Special kind of man.

66:19He was four foot nine and just funny and warm and just like a quintessential granddad.

66:31But like he got me into football.

66:33So I used to watch football with granddad and watch match of the day.

66:36And he'd make me and Daniel toast, you know, that thick white bread.

66:40And he'd kind of like make us some granddad toast.

66:43And he's just a brilliant, brilliant,

66:48soul that just was such a big part of my life that he, and they used to come and see us quite a lot.

66:54And whenever he was there, I don't know, he was, you were just bathed in his love.

66:59Like him and him and my nan just adored me and I adored them.

67:04And it was, they used to have a poster of me on there.

67:08On their wall.

67:11And they used to, and Nan used to keep all the reviews I'd get so that she'd put them up.

67:17Like, and it was just that lovely thing.

67:18It was really, some lovely reviews and some shitty ones too.

67:21And it was just like, Nan, why are you, don't take that.

67:24What are you talking about?

67:25But, but they, and they used to watch me on TV and I come from a family where

67:30It's inconceivable that I could be on TV from the family that I come from.

67:37It's, you know, it's like going to the moon.

67:41But because Nan and Granny used to go, we'd watch you on the TV.

67:44We'd watch it with the volume down because you'd swear.

67:47So they would watch me.

67:49When I was doing Good News or I was on Mock the Week, with the volume down, it's our wrestler on the box and just sort of see me, like that.

67:59But they were so...

68:01Through every part of my life, I felt utter love for my nan and my granddad and they were around forever.

68:13It's that thing where...

68:16I don't know, for whatever reason, he was like this sage.

68:20And there's a beautiful photo of my cousin Shane, who died when he was 18.

68:28And he was on a scrambler motorbike.

68:31And our granddad, when we were about eight, used to look at that and just go, there you go.

68:34That is the bravest bloody boy you've ever seen in your life.

68:37And it was like...

68:40Sort of a really interesting story because he had cancer and he died of cancer.

68:50And he went on this sort of scrambler and he did this race and he completed it, even though he was really not well at all.

68:59And our granddad told that with such pride.

69:02And it was this beautiful story.

69:03And that's what, and you knew Grandad told similar stories, obviously not as beautiful as that, about all of us.

69:10And yeah, when he died, it was just this sledgehammer to your heart where you just go, Jesus, one of the, one of the,

69:21one of the good souls isn't here anymore.

69:24And yet this is the fascination of life.

69:27I was in Mexico when it happened and my mum rang me up and said, granddad's dead.

69:31I was like,

69:34Just low.

69:39Literally seconds later, there was a Mexican man just going, and it was just like, fuck me, the universe is funny, man.

69:48So it was like utter sadness.

69:50And then somebody, and it was, yeah, it was just this weird,

69:57like moment where you're like going, fucking really, really.

70:02So yeah, that was the, that was definitely an unbelievably low moment.

70:05And yet weirdly became his funeral, this beautiful moment where you were, like I said at the beginning, where you feel privileged to belong to the blood you belong to.

70:19You know, I've never done who do you think you are?

70:21I know who I am.

70:22I'm, you know, I know where I come from and I know my people and I feel proud to belong to those people.

70:31And the funeral of my granddad was just this reminder of,

70:36the excellence of my family and how proud and how much we all love each other.

70:42So from that deep sadness came this reflection of my granddad.

70:48And you realize,

70:49that everyone in this room were there because of his brilliance.

70:54So it was this kind of weirdly bittersweet moment, you know?

70:58And my cousin Stuart wore a leather jacket and looked like fucking Lovejoy.

71:03And nobody understood.

71:05And everyone's like, why are you wearing a leather jacket?

71:07Oh, I know, I didn't have a suit.

71:09And we were carrying granddad in a coffin.

71:11And Danny was like, nice jacket, Stu.

71:13And our fucking shoulders start going because it's like, you know, like, oh, mate.

71:17And everyone's like, are they going to laugh?

71:19And we're like, fucking hold it together, hold it.

71:21And then, yeah, six weeks later, my nan died.

71:24And it was horrific.

71:26Six weeks later?

71:27Yeah, six weeks later.

71:28And then we went to the...

71:30Went to the funeral again and Stuart rocked up with that same leather jacket.

71:33And you're like, fuck me, man.

71:34And you could see everybody just looking down going, don't laugh.

71:38Why is he wearing this fucking leather?

71:39He literally rocked up like Hasselhoff.

71:41You're like, put a suit on.

71:42But it was weirdly funny.

71:45And you could hear everyone go, fucking needs to wear a fucking leather jacket on.

71:47I go, Jesus Christ, what's fucking wrong with it, man?

71:50Like it was all flapping and that.

71:53But, and I, I had to do the eulogy for my granddad as well.

71:56And that is something I put deep, deep, deep, deep time into to make it.

72:03And I, you know, and obviously you can't get it right.

72:06You can't express what he meant to you.

72:08But yeah, that was the, that was a long answer to the lowest moment.

72:13But yeah.

72:15They say people can pass away from heartbreak.

72:18Yeah.

72:19Is, for your grandmother to die six weeks following...

72:22Yeah, I think, yeah, I think they would, you know, joined at the hip.

72:27Yeah, they used to just kind of...

72:29Yeah, maybe it was that.

72:31It was just kind of...

72:33Yeah, it was just...

72:34But also, they were such constants, and I just wasn't...

§07Transcript — part 7

72:37I'd never really been exposed to death, and it was just this kind of, like...

72:41For it to arrive quite late in your life.

72:43It was just a real like, whoa, yeah.

72:45And then you've suddenly lost your nan and your granddad who had kind of, like my nan in particular is just

72:53such a lovely, she's got proper sort of blue, grey, owly eyes, you know, and she's always like tucking her sort of shirt down and she'd just come in and just tell you little, she goes,

73:05Just weird little shit.

73:06So I remember doing my dissertation.

73:07She was staying around her house.

73:08And she's like, what are you doing?

73:09I said, I'm doing a dissertation now.

73:13And she's like, what about?

73:14I said, it was about whether it's right or wrong to advertise to children.

73:19And my nan went, it's not.

73:22Like that.

73:23I kind of went, well, I've got to do 10,000.

73:25So, you know.

73:27It's not though, is it?

73:28Come on, come and have your tea.

73:30I can't just put it's not Nancy Vale.

73:33I've got to do this.

73:34But she was very strange.

73:35We used to make flapjacks together as kids, when I was a kid, and she was obviously my nan.

73:40But we didn't like flapjacks.

73:45And we used to just make them as a thing and then put them in the bin.

73:49Fucking weird.

73:50Yeah, I know.

73:51Yeah.

73:51And the reason we kept doing it is because it really annoyed my mum.

73:55Because she's like, what are you doing?

73:56Jesus Christ, what's wrong with you?

73:57And then she would get the flapjacks out the bin.

74:00And that was funny, watching my mum eat flapjacks from a bin.

74:03I got a weird family, man.

74:05But, yeah, those were the...

74:10I wonder if she did die from heartache.

74:12I don't know.

74:12I mean, she...

74:14You know, they weren't particularly well towards the end of their life as well.

74:17They sort of had kind of, you know, certainly the beginnings of dementia.

74:23So, yeah, it was kind of, you know, it's that horrible thing where...

74:31Yeah.

74:31I don't know.

74:32It's just kind of yuck, isn't it?

74:34You know.

74:35How about you?

74:35What was the lowest moment of your life?

74:37Am I allowed to ask?

74:38Yeah.

74:39The lowest moment of my life.

74:41Good question.

74:44Is it shitty to ask you?

74:46No, it's not.

74:47If I can ask someone else, they have to ask me.

74:49I don't even, it's a really interesting question.

74:55I think it would probably be, oh no, I know when it is.

74:58Well, it's the one that kind of stands out to me as really, really sucking.

75:01So my grandmother dying was one of them, but I wasn't close to her.

75:04Right.

75:05So it was just actually seeing my dad upset, seeing your like dad cry for the first time was very like, oh.

75:09Yeah, that isn't that, if you, have you got a strong dad?

75:12Yeah, strong, yeah.

75:13Never seen him be emotional.

75:14Yeah, that's the weirdest thing, isn't it?

75:16Quiet, passive, just.

75:18And then, you know, to see him cry is...

75:20Yeah.

75:21That's very difficult to understand as a kid.

75:23And then the other one is actually when my dad called me into his bedroom and told me he didn't love my mum.

75:29Oh, wow.

75:30And that they were going to get a divorce.

75:31And they didn't get a divorce.

75:33They're still together now.

75:33But at seven, I think I was, when he said that to me, it was like earth, like foundation shattering information that I couldn't.

75:41I don't know why I always remember that.

75:42I don't know why I always recall that one, you know.

75:45It's like I could never forget that moment in my life.

75:47What are you meant to do with that at seven?

75:49Fucking exactly.

75:52Especially when it doesn't even happen.

75:53But their relationship for me was so toxic as a kid that I actually got to a point later.

75:58Where I'd come to terms with the illusion being burst that your parents actually might not stick together.

76:04And then I was actually willing them to get a divorce because they were just screaming at each other too much.

76:07Yeah.

76:08I think that's probably, for some reason, those two moments came to mind.

76:12If I told you that you could never write a joke again and you could never perform again.

76:16Yeah.

76:17What would happen to you?

76:19I don't know.

76:20It's...

76:22Hmm.

76:24I think you'd go back to, I'd end up being what I was when I was younger, of just desperately trying to make people laugh and just sort of, I'd just be a bit of a nuisance at Tesco.

76:39Do you know what I mean?

76:39When you kind of get in your shop and you're like, are you all right?

76:42I was looking at the sperm donor the other day.

76:45Oh, he used to live six foot four.

76:47Like, you know what I mean?

76:47It's kind of, you know, so I think.

76:49Why?

76:50I don't know.

76:51I just like making people laugh.

76:53I like the, I like, it makes me feel good.

76:57And it, it, um.

77:00Yeah, it just makes me feel good.

77:02I kind of, like you say, it feels like you're giving them a socially accepted orgasm every time they laugh.

77:08So you're literally going around making people come.

77:12Why don't...

77:14In Tesco.

77:14Yeah, I know.

77:15Imagine making someone come in Tesco.

77:17But why don't I...

77:18Every little help.

77:20Here we go.

77:22But why don't...

77:23That's the new head for Christmas.

77:26I'm sorry, go on, carry on.

77:27What were you going to say?

77:28But why don't, why do you have that need?

77:32And I, like, I don't.

77:33So if you said to me, I could never write a joke again, or I could never, you know, perform comedy again, I would...

77:39fine, like my life would be unchanged, but for you, yours would be, it'd be like an irritant.

77:43And like, what's the difference?

77:45Well, it's the same as you, like saying, you know, you can't, you can't have your own business.

77:50Yeah.

77:51You've got to work for somebody else.

77:53So how,

77:55How does that feel?

77:56For me, it's a definite loss of purpose.

77:59For me, it's like a huge loss of purpose.

78:01Not so much working for someone else, but not being able to like build, yeah, do what I do professionally.

78:06It would be this huge sense of like loss of purpose.

78:09I might move on to like doing shows or like just writing books all the time or something else.

78:15But from a comedic perspective, it's like what you're doing is like very reliant on feedback of sorts.

78:23So I'm wondering where that's like coming from.

78:26Is that, you know, we kind of touched on it earlier in the conversation.

78:28It's just...

78:29Yeah, it's been such a clear, consistent coping mechanism in the toughest moments of your life, evidently, that it makes me ponder how you would cope without that coping mechanism, dealing with the reality of life.

78:43Yeah, but I think that's why I said laughter is the lubricant that makes life livable.

78:47Life is tough and laughter provides respite.

78:54For me.

78:55And it,

78:57And it's so deeply human.

78:59Everyone has, irrespective of whether you have an easy, blessed life, everyone has had moments of trials and tribulations.

79:09And laughter is just a, it's a thing that soothes us.

79:13And I find it particularly soothing that you take the sting out of pain by just making,

79:22making it funny.

79:22Do you know what I mean?

79:23And it's kind of, it just works for me.

79:25I just find laughing or making people laugh just the best because you're in, in the moment of laughter, you're lost.

79:33You are not of this realm.

79:36You're, you're kind of in this white noise space.

79:42And it's good.

79:44It's a good place to be.

79:45Escape is the most important thing.

79:47Yeah, but exactly.

79:49And then you come back to kind of reality and you're a little bit more reconfigured or it lightens the load a bit, you know.

79:56And I...

79:59get a deep sense of satisfaction from making people laugh.

80:05So, and you're right, it is tied up in them.

80:07You know, it's very needy.

80:08That's absolutely true.

80:10But then, you know, I'm 41 now and I kind of know who I am.

80:14I'm kind of needy.

80:16Most comics are, because I've been asked to write,

80:19sort of my autobiography quite a few times and it's like, I just don't feel like sitting and entertaining myself.

80:31Whereas when you're writing stand-up, you're writing it for an audience.

80:35So you can perform or you're making notes and you go, hey, I'll take that on stage and I'll kind of riff it out and figure it out with them.

80:42Whereas a book to me just feels like it would be, I don't think I've got the skills to sit down and try and...

80:51Entertain myself and then eventually entertain people through the book.

80:56Do you know what I mean?

80:57Like I did a thing last year where we went to Australia and New Zealand during the pandemic because we were doing some gigs out there and we stayed in the hotel for two weeks and we made a stand-up show.

81:10That blended me meeting people alongside standup.

81:15And it was, it was one of the most satisfying things I've ever done.

81:19We met these incredible women in New Zealand, a thing called the coffin club.

81:23And what they do is I didn't know this.

81:25It turns out, um,

81:28dying is

81:29really expensive and coffins are really pricey.

81:33And what these retired pensioners do, they make cheap coffins and they kind of sell them for like, you know, 300 bucks, really kind of low, don't make any profit.

81:45So these beautiful funeral elves.

81:48And they make their own coffins as well, just as a bit of fun.

81:52And I met this lady and she'd made three coffins for herself.

81:55And I was like, how come you made three?

81:56She's like, I just keep putting on weight.

81:59And it was so touching and peculiar.

82:03And then we went into another room and there were little baby coffins, tiny, tiny.

82:08And it's one of those things that...

82:10I hope nobody ever sees that.

82:12And I was like, how?

82:14And people often say, oh, comedy, hardest job in the world.

82:16Imagine making a coffin for a baby.

82:18It blew my mind.

82:19And I looked at this twinkly-eyed lady.

82:21I was like, how do you do that?

82:24How do you get yourself in a place to make something that sad?

82:27And she kind of looked at me and just went,

82:30I do it so no one else has to.

82:32And it was so beautiful.

82:35And for me, I loved being able to tell that story through stand-up with her on the show.

82:44And I don't know if I have the skills to tell that story.

82:51Through words on a page.

§08Transcript — part 8

82:53Do you know what I mean?

82:54I'm sort of aware of a,

82:58an ability I have as a,

82:59a communicator to make a story like that deeply human.

83:02I could tell that in front of anybody and it gets to their heart.

83:06It's so pure.

83:07And there's so many stories out there like that, that trying to find those examples of magnificence, I find endlessly...

83:18interesting, but you don't find them if you sat down writing a book.

83:21You got to get out there and you've kind of got to put yourself in peculiar situations.

83:26I met a lady that goes yaoi hunting.

83:28Turns out there's a yaoi is a big eight foot sort of like abominable snowman in Australia that he lives just outside Brisbane.

83:36She was absolutely wonderful, right?

83:38You know, mad as a box of frogs, but beautiful.

83:41And she was like, yeah, what we do, put some cigarettes out and some beer and that should lure him in.

83:45Like, so she puts this big jacket on me.

83:48She goes, yeah, and you might want to make the mating noise.

83:51And I'm like, well, how does that go?

83:52And she's like, sort of like, and I'm kind of interested in the feel going, and she's like, yeah, you're doing really well.

83:58And then I panic.

84:01Because I start going, what if this is real?

84:05And suddenly this eight foot bloke comes along and fucks me like that.

84:09And I'm sort of dragged off and you're like, and then it was so, and I was telling her this and we're laughing and it's funny that, that again, those stories, I love trying to find those stories.

84:22So I feel like I don't,

84:23have enough stories yet to sit down and tell them all.

84:27And the great thing about stand-up,

84:29You can rotate your stories.

84:30You go, hey, do you want to hear this?

84:31Hey, do you want to hear that?

84:32You know, or things can happen from nowhere.

84:35My brother is an ex, like we were, we were having a conversation with a friend of mine recently and from nowhere, my brother goes, what?

84:44Because this bloke was talking about his friend.

84:46He goes, yeah, he's a vet.

84:47My brother goes, yeah, to be a vet, you've got to shoot a cow in the face.

84:50And I'm like, what are you talking about?

84:51He goes, yeah, it's the only way you can be a vet if you've shot a cow in the face.

84:54I said, is it?

84:55What, so they do six years of school, and then right at the end they give him a Smith& Wesson, and they blast him in the face, and he's like, well, don't give him that, you thick fuck.

85:03I give him a bolt gun.

85:05I'm going to shoot him with a rifle.

85:07Fucking moron.

85:09Like that.

85:09So we're having this kind of conversation and I'm like, what are you talking about?

85:12He goes, true.

85:12Kez told me.

85:13Kez told you.

85:14Yeah, he knows.

85:15Knows a vet.

85:15Shot him in the face.

85:16So it's like that.

85:18Now, weirdly, a month later, I'm doing a gig in Leicester.

85:20There's a guy chatting away and he's a vet.

85:23And I go, listen, I've got to ask, do they make you shoot cows in the face?

85:28And he goes, yeah, yeah, we have to.

85:29It's one of the things.

85:30The fucker was right.

85:32So I ring my brother up in the middle of this gig.

85:34There's 2,000 people there.

85:35I ring him up and I'm like, put him on speaker on the phone.

85:38I go, you all right?

85:39He goes, yeah, what?

85:40And I go, I'm just in Leicester.

85:41I'm at a gig.

85:42Yeah.

85:43And I go, yeah, you know that thing you were saying about cow?

85:47And vets, yeah, it turns out you were right.

85:49And he went, yeah, I know.

85:51And he goes, listen, I've got to go.

85:52I'm watching Vigil.

85:53Like that.

85:54Fucked off.

85:55But that was the correct story for that night, is my point, is my point.

85:59That sometimes, and it was so hilarious.

86:04In that moment, it couldn't have been more perfect.

86:06Yeah, yeah, yeah.

86:07And then all the ushers, the work there, I go, that was planned, right?

86:10Yeah.

86:11But it was, but it only came about because me and my brother were with friends of mine in Exeter.

86:16He told a man's story.

86:18I had an argument with him.

86:19We all laughed because my brother was talking shit.

86:21What's he on about?

86:22A month later, I meet, you know, a vet.

86:25He agrees with my brother.

86:28And we have a moment of magic.

86:31And it's the funny thing that that's all anyone would remember from that show.

86:37And I don't have the skills to do that through sitting on my own.

86:43I would be too excited to tell people the story.

86:46So Patrice Evra, who sat there before Jimmy Carr, said one day his girlfriend turned to him and was like, are you happy?

86:54And at first he resisted that question because it makes people feel a little bit uncomfortable.

86:59But yeah, are you happy?

87:02Um,

87:03Yeah, at this moment, yeah, I've really enjoyed this chat, like deeply.

87:09And I feel pumped up and energized.

87:14So, yeah.

87:15But back to what I'm saying, I'm kind of, I need the energy of others to make me happy.

87:22You referred to, when I asked that question, you referred to this moment as if happiness was more of a mood in your view versus then like a...

87:29long-lasting state.

87:31If we were to say that it's a state, a long-lasting sort of the baseline, would you say you're happy?

87:41Yeah, I'd say I have more moments of happiness than sadness.

87:47But I'm in a state of flux with that.

87:50Like, you know, I can be super low and super...

87:56Sort of depressed about,

87:59Oh, fucking hell, the jokes are shit this week in the show.

88:02God, I haven't got the stuff.

88:03You know what I mean?

88:04So I kind of, I can let things get on top of me.

88:08But I have more moments of happiness than sadness, I think.

88:12Have you ever experienced what they call like depression, like clinical depression in your view?

88:19I don't know.

88:20I don't think so.

88:24You know, I have moments of like, where you can't, you know, you be sort of aware you need to shift it, but I'm very much at right, get on the treadmill, lift some weights, um, kind of, uh, do something kind of a guy.

88:38I'm restless, you know?

88:40Um, but, uh, yeah, I've never been, you know, diagnosed or anything like that, but, uh,

88:47But yeah, how about you?

88:48Are you happy?

88:49It's such a heavy question, right?

88:50It's a really heavy question.

88:51I remember the first time my...

88:52Fucking Patrice Evra.

88:53Yeah, I know, right?

88:55Yeah.

88:55What an interesting, fascinating bloke he is as well.

88:58It's just...

88:58Frightening.

88:59Remarkable, remarkable guy.

89:02Am I happy?

89:02I remember the first time I was asked it and it felt really uncomfortable and I felt defensive about the question.

89:06Yeah.

89:07My PA, who was also my girlfriend at the time, and he has a long story, we won't go into that.

89:11She asked me in the car one day, she was like, are you happy?

89:15I was like, how dare you?

89:16I think that's my reaction.

89:18No, of course not.

89:18But that's kind of, I think like my ego inside my chimp brain probably was like, how fucking dare, like, of course I am.

89:25I believe so, yeah.

89:27I believe so.

89:28And one of the things that has helped me a lot is I'm very obsessed with gratitude.

89:33And like constantly reminding myself of like how unbelievably fortunate I am to be one of the free ones.

89:40And what I mean by that is like financially free, free to do what I choose to most days.

89:47Of course, I have days where it sucks and my mood's shitty and like I'm irritable and I'm a bit of an asshole to be around.

89:55I feel somewhat content despite my relentless excruciating ambition.

90:00Yeah.

90:02Yeah, that's a very good answer.

90:04I'll take that one.

90:05Okay.

90:06Your manager said you're the hardest working comic he's ever met.

90:10Right.

90:12Yeah, well, I just like...

90:13Is that toxic?

90:14People in our society at the moment, there's this kind of stigma around people that work too hard, that it's toxic productivity or...

90:21Yeah, but it's sort of, you know, you work at something that you love.

90:25So it's kind of like, you know...

90:33it's sort of those moments of like, you just lose yourself in it.

90:36It's like, I imagine it's the same with when Picasso was painting.

90:41Do you know what I mean?

90:42He was just probably like, this is fun.

90:45Like, do you know what I mean?

90:46Like, you know, imagine this, I'm not comparing myself to Picasso.

90:49I'm using him as an example of just sort of, imagine his manager going, you need to fucking relax, mate.

90:54Do you know what I mean?

90:54The Sistine Chapel weapon.

90:56But it's just, I don't know.

90:57I just, I love it.

90:59And I don't, I don't mind working hard.

91:03And it's also, it's not, it's not working in the true sense.

91:07Like you just said, how fortunate to be one of the free ones.

91:11Like, it's ridiculous.

91:12Like, I write stand-up on my own, but I do my TV show and I write it with...

91:19Five people and we get to write jokes.

91:23That is our job.

91:25There's an unbelievably privileged job to be able to sit around and think of funny things for people.

91:34And that can be stressful, but there are people working in

91:40in jobs that they don't like that would kill for that opportunity.

91:44So you're right.

91:44You need those moments to kind of snap yourself out of your funk and, um, and remember that you're getting paid to do a hobby ultimately, you know, in my case, um,

91:58And in mine, like this is...

91:59Yeah, totally.

92:01But my point being, it's sort of like,

92:06There's no, there's nothing wrong with having low moments and everyone does.

92:11And it feels like the world is better now in terms of being able to talk about them.

92:18But you also, I think if you come from a certain background, you don't want to bitch and moan about yourself and kind of say that you're having a tough time or whatever.

92:26But if you're lucky enough to have friends that you can talk to,

92:31or things like this, or a therapist or whatever, it just makes the pursuit of happiness a lot easier, I think.

92:38Because I think that is, maybe that's what happiness is.

92:41It's about talking for long enough to realize what you have, whether that is a loving relationship, whether it's a job you love.

92:51Whether it's a hobby you adore,

92:53But there will always be sort of shimmering lights of hope in the misery.

93:00But sometimes somebody has to help you find them, I think.

93:04Do you know what I mean?

93:04Because I think it's very difficult to sit within yourself and go, yeah, I can see everything's fine.

93:09Sometimes you need a little bit of help.

93:11To kind of remind you of how lucky you are.

93:14Your upcoming Netflix special, you called it Lubricant.

93:16I now know why.

93:17Yeah, yeah.

93:18But tell me what we can expect from this special and how it was conceived and what makes it, you know, I guess, worth watching.

93:27Wow.

93:28It is the best.

93:32Stories and jokes that I've written in the last two years from traveling around the world.

93:38I did a tour that was called Respite.

§09Transcript — part 9

93:42And I kind of put together all the best bits about kind of conspiracy theories and, uh,

93:53COVID and leadership and madness in the world.

93:59And I sort of splodged it all together and the,

94:03You never quite know what it is until you sort of step away from it.

94:06And I think it's actually a love letter to laughter.

94:10That's what the show is.

94:11And it's the full hour is about the importance of giggling and of being silly and how deeply human it is.

94:26and it should be treasured.

94:27There's a bit in the special where I was chatting about, you know, when you hear somebody play a musical instrument

94:36and you're envious of the notes they're making, it strikes me that laughter is a musical instrument that any one of us can play.

94:44And now is not the time to put down our fucking trumpets.

94:50And that's the show, really.

94:52It's about the importance of laughter and the role it plays in which we do life.

95:00And it's lots of funny stories that are kind of all about that, really.

95:03You talked about how as a comedian you have to kind of have this like self-evolution.

95:08Uh-huh.

95:09What evolution in the comedian that you are in this special, Lubricant, have you observed in yourself?

95:17I'm slower and I'm more thoughtful and I try and make it more...

95:23Interesting for people sat at home than in the room.

95:28I think previously I've been a bit too kind of high octane and I'm trying to kind of make it pleasurable for people at home so they can sit and enjoy it because that's how it ultimately is consumed.

95:38I have a fascination with anger and I have a fascination with beauty.

95:43I don't like, so I find anger strange and I find beauty beguiling.

95:49And that is only getting deeper and deeper.

95:52So for example, that story about the ladies.

95:54in the coffins that isn't in this show, but it's, it's somewhere deep in me.

96:00And I think that will come out in another show.

96:02So it's sort of the evolution as a comedian for me is that I want the next special and the next tour that I do to be deeply human.

96:12And I want it to be this,

96:14in the best sense, a place where you can fucking nod with me and laugh with me and feel like this connection with people next to you.

96:25And I think that comes through exploring how fucking weird and silly we all are.

96:34I think the world's taking itself very seriously at the moment.

96:38And there's so much humor in it.

96:42I think there's so much humor in the, on the edges, in the shades of serious stuff.

96:48Do you know what I mean?

96:49I kind of find it,

96:51Yeah, that's kind of what, that's where it feels like my evolution is, that I'm trying to kind of, I try and talk about

96:59You know, I quite like being able to talk about serious stuff.

97:01For example, you know, talk about cancel culture or woke.

97:06The amount of times you hear the word woke in newspapers at the minute.

97:10And it's because it just sells papers, man.

97:12And it's kind of like, hey, have you seen what they've done?

97:15You can't say the word farts and boobies and arse in Scrabble.

97:19That's a story in the newspaper.

97:21And it was like fury as woke Scrabble bosses.

97:23No one's furious about Scrabble.

97:25No one's like just, and even if they were doing that, how are they going to police it?

97:29I was going to, you know, break into your house and go, did you just put clit on a triple letter?

97:34They're not going to do that.

97:35So I find that mechanism really interesting at the moment that you go, okay, clearly there's money to be made in kind of, you won't fucking believe what I've done now, in that energy.

97:50But also recognising that it's just a trick.

97:52It's fake outrage.

97:53It's fake outrage and it's kind of, it's the what next brigade.

97:56But I find that really interesting.

97:58That was like Piers Morgan's whole thing for a while on TV.

98:00It was like, they've changed toilets to unisex.

98:03Yeah.

98:03Fucking.

98:03Yeah, but because it sort of like, it just, it works.

98:08It's easy.

98:08It's click.

98:10And then you're there.

98:11But it's kind of not, it's just not nourishing.

98:13And there is actually a way of making the people that succumb to that and the people that think it's bullshit, you can bring them together through really piss funny stories.

98:25Or like that story about the coffin and the lady.

98:29Doesn't matter your political orientation, doesn't matter your gender, whatever.

98:34That's a deeply funny human story.

98:36And like, you look at someone like Billy Connolly, like, like some of his bits are so beautiful and funny or George Carlin that, that, that they're,

98:47they're majestic and you're kind of lost.

98:49And I think there's a real value to humor and it's often overlooked because it is silly.

98:56And it is kind of fart, piss, shit, fuck.

98:58You know what I mean?

98:59It's kind of, you know what I mean?

99:01It's fingers and ears.

99:03But it's a release and it's kind of,

99:08It's a deeply important thing, laughter.

99:11Deeply, deeply important.

99:12And if we didn't have it, you know, I think it's only like dolphins and rats are the only animals that laugh.

99:19I don't know how scientists found that out.

99:21I know I do actually.

99:22They tickled the rat's bellies with a pencil.

99:25This is presumably pre-COVID.

99:27Do you know what I mean?

99:28Imagine that if it's just kind of vaccine.

99:30I'm busy just trying to get this rat to giggle.

99:35But yeah.

99:36So that's Lubricant.

99:37Is it December 14th?

99:38December the 14th.

99:39It comes out.

99:40It was Respite.

99:42It was the show Respite.

99:44And then right at the last minute, I decided to call it Lubricant.

99:47Love it.

99:48But that becomes a, I mean, we all know now, listening to this, why it's called that, but it's kind of 40 minutes in, you go, oh, right.

99:55There might be some furious perverts.

99:58We were kind of going, where's there's absolutely nothing here about, like, about Vaseline, about KY jelly.

100:05This is bereft of any lubricational.

100:08I hope someone writes in.

100:10Yeah.

100:10Leave the review.

100:11This is not what you think it is.

100:12It's absolutely disgusting.

100:14I was fucking outraged.

100:15And then you've got Until the Wheels Come Off as well, which is a documentary.

100:18So, yeah.

100:18So Until the Wheels Come Off is a documentary about making a stand-up special throughout the COVID pandemic.

100:25So, yeah, it was kind of...

100:28Yeah, sort of cameras followed us around and tried to, you know, like we did gigs in football stadiums and car parks.

100:35Crazy.

100:35Yeah, it was brilliant.

100:36It was nuts.

100:37But we did Ashton Gate, which is the home of Bristol City.

100:41And we had to get 2,000 people in a 10,000-seater stand.

100:48They all had to be spread out.

100:49And it was one of the weirdest gigs I've ever done, but it was one of the best.

100:52And that comes out on the same day?

100:54So the doc is on the same day as the special.

100:57So, yeah.

100:58Wow.

100:59Yeah.

100:59We have one.

101:00I'm excited for both.

101:01I actually did get the chance to watch the trailer.

101:03All right, nice.

101:04And it was...

101:04Hilarious.

101:05Oh, thanks, man.

101:06I'm particularly excited to see someone with your smarts and both comedic genius and intellect take on recent times.

101:12Yes.

101:12Does that make sense?

101:13Yeah, totally.

101:13That's what I'm most excited about.

101:15And so really, really looking forward to that on December 14th.

101:18We have a longstanding tradition on this podcast where the previous guest, as I mentioned, writes a question for the next guest.

101:23So Patrice wrote, are you happy?

101:25Because that was the question that stumbled upon him.

101:27I'm not going to say anything.

101:28Who the person was that's written this for you.

101:30Okay.

101:30But I'm going to tell you what the question is.

101:34What three things would you give to the world?

101:37You can only answer with single words to make it happier.

101:41Jesus.

101:42Jesus?

101:42Not that.

101:44That's one.

101:45What three things would I give to the world to make it happier?

101:48You can only answer with one word answers.

101:52I mean, this is a real reverse Aladdin moment, isn't it?

101:59A fixed climate.

102:02I know that's two words, but, you know, that's the first thing.

102:07Technology that stops mental health.

102:12So you zap them and they're fine.

102:16It's just sort of a wand you wave at them.

102:17Okay.

102:18Mental health wand.

102:19Yeah.

102:19So yeah, a mental, a mental, yeah.

102:21So that's it.

102:21Fixed climate, mental health wand and food.

102:27Food.

102:27Yeah.

102:29Yeah.

102:29I feel like fixed climate, mental health wand, food.

102:33And starvation.

102:34And starvation?

102:35It will end starvation.

102:37Yes, right.

102:37Not end starvation.

102:38No, no, I was going to say, fuck me, I give and I take.

102:41Now I'm going to ask you to do the same.

102:43But before I do that, I just want to say a huge thank you for coming today because I've watched you on screen for many, many, many years.

102:48I find you hysterical.

102:49But also, I love this opportunity to get to know a side of you that I wouldn't have ordinarily seen on screen because of the way that, you know,

102:58the format of TV and a depth in you.

103:00And you're just, again, you're super smart, super introspective.

103:03You're a genius, clearly.

103:04And you're doing a service to the world, which is clearly so unbelievably selfless in cheering people up at a time when they really need it.

103:11That I feel like the comedians amongst us who are lubricating us through these hard times are national treasures at the moment.

103:17So thank you.

103:17Oh, mate, what a sweet thing.

103:18I need you to come home and say that whenever I'm having problems with my wife.

103:22We'll send you a video clip so you could do that.

103:25But it's time to write a question.

103:52Corporate credit cards, cash flow management, centralizing spend, help with catching fraud.

103:58A powerful corporate card program needs to do a lot, so it should be designed to help work with your business.

104:05That's why with the American Express Corporate Program, you can customize key elements to match your company's needs.

104:11Explore and apply from a variety of card types based on employee roles.

104:16Select liability and billing options that fit your needs.

104:19Add spending controls to support compliance.

104:22And decide whether earning rewards or cash back in the form of a statement credit delivers more value for your business.

104:28Learn more and start customizing your corporate program at americanexpress.com slash corporate.

104:34Terms apply.

104:39When your cat is acting weirder, or your dog is being louder, your turtle moves slower.

104:49Hello, Ted.

104:50Your cat seems thirstier.

104:53Whoa, slow down, buddy.

104:54Or your puppy is acting clumsier.

104:59Day or night, if you don't know what's wrong, know where to go.

105:03Veg ER for Pets.

§10Transcript — part 10

105:04This is Kate.

105:05Veg.

105:06The better, kinder ER for pets.

— A LITTLE MORE TO THINK ABOUT. —