Moment 80 - Bear Grylls: The Trick I Use To Find Confidence

00:03when you say confidence what how do you define confidence because some people think of confidence as this like overt external expression of like self-assurance what did you mean when you said i didn't have confidence and it's still an ongoing battle what is that i think it's not what the world always thinks like you say you know we always have this thing of confidence as you say it's this unstoppable i can do anything you know i think um life is always humbling you know in every way just like the wild you know the mountains are humbling you know the the real things of life are humbling she reminds us that you know it's often a battle and you know you've got to sometimes put your head down and do your best and you're going to fail and you're going to struggle you're going to have doubts and you're going to have self-doubt and but but try try and get your feet and keep going and uh and I think that is um that is confidence you know confidence is the quiet stuff and the and the honesty and to to say this is a struggle but but let's go you know let's let's let's do our best i love that thing of the scouts you know do your best you know which is so smart because i think so much of the world is about be the best you know win number one you know but actually

01:13that doesn't always stand that the pressure test of time and of of life and of going for big things are always going to be humbling. And I think the thing of do your best, you know, it's dip, dip, dip, you know, DYV, do your best. I love that because wherever you're at, you can do that. You know, it's a decision, isn't it? It's not a gift. It's not something we're born with, like the looks or the academic or the sport, something you've got to summon.

01:41And I like that. What were the symptoms of having a lack of confidence when you were that age? What would it look like? How did it manifest itself? I think probably just being quite shy and uh and I think you see the the people at school always the the bigger personalities and it was always like gosh you got to be like that to get anywhere and it's a life journey isn't it to realize it's almost the opposite it's almost the opposite you know the quiet the persevering relentlessly trying to pick yourself up through the failures and keep going and know the wealth of life.

02:19The wealth is always found in our relationships. And, you know, you come across people who are rich in friendships and, you know, rich in passion and love what they do and love the people they work with. And, you know, and that's enough. That's wonderful. But it takes a bit of unlearning, doesn't it, of saying, you know, the people not always to look up to aren't always the front and centre. And as I get older, I see more and more heroes, left, right and centre, we're more left and right rather than center you know and i love that i i sort of see it in people and uh you know i see it in our camera crew i mean look at look at what's been a core part of my job for however many years many years now you know the filming and stuff and you know the focus is always on the person front of screen and and you know that horrible word of talent as they call it i never felt very talented still don't still feel i'm surrounded by way way more talented people.

03:16But life isn't a competition about who's more talented. It's a journey to take with great friends. And I look at our camera crew and to me, true heroes. You know, they work harder. They carry heavier weights. You know, unsung, you know, relentlessly positive. Carry me many times, you know, in so many ways. Encourage me when I've been struggling. And I look at them and still brothers and sisters, best friends to this day. I think it's probably the thing I'm most proud of in my career actually are the friendships with our crew in an industry that is notoriously transient.

03:53People have crew come, crew go, new crews but we've kept pretty well the core crew from the beginning and part of it's that we're obviously working in difficult, dangerous terrain and you forge stronger bonds than you would in a shiny studio but part of it's that the loyalty really matters from both goes both ways uh and i love that you said that you kind of have a bit of an allergic reaction to the word talent right just from a few other things that you said in that little open i wondered if you you relate at all to the to the phrase imposter syndrome at all because you're someone who's the world has this image of you as being this like unbelievable mountain scaling fearless adventurer and even you talking about a lack of confidence doesn't seem to fit into that narrative that the world must hold of you so have you ever felt what they call imposter syndrome at all would you have a different yeah i think so because i'm going because i think it probably grows you know the more you know the more sort of something does well you know we you know we did the show this year for netflix called you versus wild you know and we just got the news you know this morning we got nominated for three emmys for it and the crew go baby this is so excited but

05:09part of my heart dies part of me it's like oh it's like that gulf between the the sort of tv sort of you know guy and the it gets bigger you know and i feel from day one i felt i almost had more confidence i think in my skills at the beginning i think it's the years have gone and i've realized actually i've often been surrounded by people who are better better climbers better skydivers better survival guys better looking fitter stronger all of these things just because we've built a crew of ninjas of true heroes and you know we got to work with people and locals and experts all around the world year after year and I think more and more I feel these guys are those that person we met there or that person they are amazing be much better at the job than me but you know like I say our job isn't to be the best you know it's to do our best and and you know for some reason I've been given this this the chance to do this it's what I've always loved I love the adventures I love like I say the friendships and you know the job we do and I think you can only ride that and be grateful for it and and like I say do do your best and not worry about too much about how the tv makes it always look I mean the truth is the tv always

06:24puts the best bits they cut out the trips and the stumbles and you put anything to music and the guy's gonna look cool you know but I think an element to why the show worked when we first started doing it is that we did show a lot of the mistakes and it was kind of the slips and the stumbles and the ums and the ahs and I remember from day one that the producer that came came to me and said what we want to do this show where we drop you in the middle of difficult places and you show us how to get out of there and and and I kept saying no because I didn't want to do tv I didn't know about tv and I was like and you know but he kept saying we don't want that it doesn't need to be perfect and I've and it was my wife that said why don't you go and try it you know and I just left the military we just got married we were kind of starting out and she was smart she said go and try it and actually it's never felt like making a perfect thing I think the magic at that time it was the first show that came along that let all the mud be on the lens and the rain on the lens and the trips and the stumbles you saw the cameraman's hand and it would come there was an a sort of interactivity that was there was great and I've always felt if it's not broke don't fix

07:28it the stumbles the trips the struggles the the mistakes are part of life uh but the part of my heart that dies is because it all makes it look too good or too you know because at the end of the day i'm a really regular guy i'm a regular dad as well you know i'm not i'm not brilliant at any of these things but i i know what i love and i know the weapons that serve me best and the weapons are always this you know be dogged be determined be be the most resilient person out there when it's hard you know come alive in the big moments when it's not the big moments you don't need to be front and center but in the big moments be there