Frank Castillo

00:16sh you guys hear that you hear that that's the rain that's how hard it's raining here all these telling you don't don't don't mow your lawn don't don't water the lawn don't fill the pool we're running out of water we're running out of water here in California not anymore it's there they're evacuating people Jamie what what did it say on your phone fig out evacuate Sacramento's the the dam is blowing Frank Castillo the damn uh I usually don't introduce guests but this gentleman across me here is uh I'm really proud of you really thank you you Frank atillo if you go to his Instagram page let me just tell everybody he just won Rose battle on Comedy Central which uh with standup comedians that's a huge deal I mean that is that's a big deal that show's a big deal it's a big deal for comedy but it's a big deal that you won and if you go to your Instagram page

01:18dude it's so inspirational you do the shittiest shows you're out there doing bowling alleys you're out there doing like bars with three people in them and you're doing three four a night you're just always hammering it I love it and then to see you do that and to see you working at the store like many other people before like Duncan's done like AR's done like Rena Z's done like so many people have gone from working at the store Bobby Lee I think worked at the store yep so many people have gone from working at the store to making it as a comic to so to see you go from working at the store grinding every night and then winning roast battle show these the the the trophy here dude it's you feeling that's legit as damn now I get why they don't want people to hand those out like the second I got it I was like I get why they I get it now they shouldn't just hand these out to kids it's so

02:10powerful yeah you can't just give a kid a trophy for nothing you got to win you got to win you got to do it and that this show roast battle is one of the reasons why I came back to The Comedy Store when I went to see Ari was doing his uh special and uh he had decided to film his first Comedy Central special at the store and I hadn't been in the store in 7even years years I hadn't even stepped foot inside the place and I was like well there's no way I'm missing this so I had to I had to bite the bullet I had to go in there and um I said let me just go the night before and uh Jeff Ross asked me to uh be one of the judges at Rose battle and so I was sitting up there and I was going wow this is crazy this is a totally different thing like this was never here 7 years ago there was nothing anything like it it was like really creative writing really like nasty jokes but then

02:58everybody's hugging afterward you know like that's one like one of the rules is like after you do it you got to hug it out like it was great and I was like creatively this is so inspiring and it's so there's so much life to it that and then Ari special I said it I'm back it was uh it's a crazy thing man I mean it was just also just having you show up and just be a part of that that was one of those things where like everyone knew like all the younger Comics all the open micers cuz it started as an open mic so when we saw you come in everyone's just like oh this is different like that's when everyone kind of was like oh things are changing yeah man things have changed since then at the store the store is a crazy place now it's insane like I've been there I started there in '94 and uh it was kind of like there something had happened before I got there like a bomb had gone off and like

03:49these are survivors that just moved back to the city it was weird it was like the age of Kennison had died you know and then there was really no one after him so like I came in the early '90s and Kennison was like 80 you know like the early ' 80s to like ' 86 88 and then I believe he died in like what did he die in like 1992 or something like that he' already left the store and um when I got there it was all these weird Road Comics that were like Boda bodak bodak you know what a bod Act is someone who does a lot of cruise ships no disrespect to anybody who does cruise ships I know there's a lot of comics who really do love doing cruise ships and they're really funny comics is that's not what I mean but what I mean is like there's there was certain people that didn't work anywhere else but like really shitty gigs oh yeah and there was a lot of them at the store

04:42and I was like this is so weird I thought it was going to be like Richard prior and you know and Louis Anderson I thought it was just going to be killer after killer after killer it wasn't like that but it is now this is the time it is some of those lineups are the absolute craziest it's ridiculous christalia Bill Burr like what over and over again this killer after killer after killer mosha Casher Joey Diaz what the man Tasha Lazar all those guys going up it's crazy yeah yeah yeah Andrew Santino boom boom boom it's like killer after killer young Killers older Killers it's crazy Ron White is there now just walking around it's it's it's hanging with us in that back bar the Elder Statesman of standup comedy I remember when Ron White came into a casino I was working at I was just before I moved to Los Angeles before anything I was just working in a bar and

05:29he was doing a show there and I remember I was just like oh my God I can't believe it's run white yeah man and I talked to him and then now it's just so crazy to be like at The Comedy Store sitting in the bag smoking a joint just talking to him about comedy dude and you know what we started doing the factory again too we did the factory last week and we're going to do it again next week we're going to do the factory on Wednesday nights every other Wednesday oh that's amazing at 10:00 yeah man we because the factory was struggling and we were like the Laugh Factory is a good club it's just you know it had a lot of weirdness in the past that was connected to it and the store was always that place to go to so like I think it's important when we see these clubs that we're really lucky to have that we support them all absolutely you know keep them going it's cuz it's guys like

06:14you these guys that are coming up like you're you're going to be in the same position that we're in someday where you're you know you're you're capable of like organizing a night and filling up a room and then it pumps up the business and then guys like you get in you know like when we did the ice house Wednesday night you know like guys like you get in and then you'll be in that same position someday too it's cool to watch man yeah it's absolutely just insane to be a part of you know what I mean cuz it's like doing I get to host when we were at the Laugh Factory that Wednesday and that was bananas cuz it was just like meeting the booker and the manager and all these people and again sick lineup yeah and it's just crazy yeah yeah I know you you're getting in you're you're like at the door you're it's I remember those days man well I was and I was never in a position like you're in though

07:00like your position is better than my position when I was in like your your stages of standup because you got into something through standup I got into something through a sitcom yeah like a sitcom is like it's okay but it's not the same like the the standup route is the best route yeah it's really odd too because of like just how many people have seen the roast battle like just the finals like I almost I almost feel naive because I didn't realize how many people were there like it was like winning the combine of like the NFL com combine but for comedy it was dude it was a big deal it was a big deal it was like guys at the store and girls I shouldn't be sexist guys the girls and girls at the store um we were following it like a sports team like we were following it yeah like it was crazy it's like who's in the lead who's winning where's he at you know yeah and just the the vibe in

07:48the room was absolutely crazy just like hearing this it was like a sporting event it was nuts dude when I showed up at the store after you'd won it was like like we were Super Bowl champs it's crazy it was people were like crying like other com but also me winning was such a weird thing cuz it was like especially the LA comedy community I don't want to say like open micers like it's a terrible term but it's like I'm still an open micer you know what I mean like I still hit open mics I'm still a comic that does these things so it's like when I won I had see all these guys that I would see at these open mics and it was just like it was like we W you know what I mean because it's like they see me at all these spots they know me as the guy that's always working at the store that's always doing something so it was like a weird sense of Pride it was like your home team went yeah but

08:30also it shows you that you can do it like they're you you're them you guys are all working together you're all doing those open mics together they know this there's nothing like you didn't get some Willy Wonka golden ticket and somebody let you in no you just hammered it out man you kept doing it your Instagram Pages as man I really do draw inspiration from it I love see and I know you're funny too which helps thank you there's certain people that I look at and I go well this guy is this guy or this girl all they have to do is not this up they're funny like you got it yeah and it's like it's very important to tell those people that too like tell them you you can do cuz I remember people saying that to me and it was a huge like Mark Maron gave me a speech one day after I uh did a show at um uh the the comedy Connection in Boston which was little tiny room and he

09:17said some cool to me after my set and I was just a raw open micer like way raer even than you I was like how long have you been doing it now uh started when I was 21 so I'd say about 27 now was say 6 years but like serious for four which is like the pace that I've been doing it where I'm like hitting mics trying to go on shows and really taking it seriously is it harder to get Kraken in La do you think because there's so much comedy here I don't think it's hard to get Kraken I think it's tougher definitely but I think if you're willing to work hard cuz you're surrounded by this is something my manager told me right before I moved cuz I was supposed to get a job and then I didn't and I was really bitter and I wanted to move Los Angeles he said you could move now and find out you're the and things are going to go great or you could move now and find out you're

10:00not the and then work really hard and then get really good and that's what I did it's like d you got a good manager that's good solid manager advice yeah he was I mean he was a he was a restaurant manager but I mean it was great advice wow so he doesn't have anything to do with comedy no he was just a called that dude tell the start an agency that's why it was so logical that's why what he said was so logical you never hear that from standup comedy managers they give people the worst advice yeah but that's what I did I moved here and then it was like you know people were like there's no time in Los Angeles Ang is like no there's time if you're willing to make it like I will drive to a mic sign up drive to another mic sign up drive back to that first mic hit a spot text someone that's running a show or a host that I know is going to just toss me up at the end so I know I could

10:43go to that mic in two and a half hours while I'm waiting for this other mic so it's like it's just like how much are you willing to pay for gas you know what I mean like it's really you're investing in yourself you know yeah well you're you're you're also you're you're definitely investing in yourself but you you're growing in some weird way like when the more sets you do your act just kind of grows like sometimes I've done the hatrick at the store we do the main room the belly room and then the o or you know what whatever order by the time you get to that third show dude you're on fire you're just ready you're just ready to have fun you know you're just warm up tucked and in the groove and that's where a lot of times new ideas come from cuz you're so comfortable on stage like maybe you're working on a new bit and out of nowhere this new angle comes up and it's the best angle to bit

11:28it's cuz of just something you said yeah like off hand this also something super satisfying about seeing someone work hard and become successful I I'd love seeing people succeed yeah like and seeing like someone work hard and then it actually working and then you see all these people that come up with excuses they're always off and they're not they're not traveling enough they're not doing enough sets they're not writing enough they're sticking with the same old material for too long you know come on man and now it's different cuz it's like I'm in a weird position where it's like most people win something like that and then they'll T off their their hour or something it's like me I'm just a I you know I'm a door guy so I've got like 15 maybe 20 good minutes but now's the opportunity for me like people asked me to headline somewhere like some random Club I was like I'm not going to

12:10do that like I'll do 20 minute sets for the next year and a half to build that hour cuz I just want to be a good comic well you definitely have to get frantic now about creating new material and that's something about those really short sets like a lot of times open mics they give you three minutes you know what do you get three sometimes five three sometimes four some people give me a little bit longer just cuz you know yeah but that's it's hard to come up like that for me that's like the setup for a bit sometimes you know like you're just getting you're you're just getting the whole sort of landscape laid out before you go into a bit Kennison used to say that that was a big thing about Kennison not liking to do uh late night shows he's like I can't get cooking in five minutes yeah you know because he was used to doing those he would take the late spot at the store where he

12:54would just go as long as he wanted he would have that last spot the Kennon spot yeah I mean that's what we call it today we call it the Kennon spot I've never done it maybe I've done it like two or three times but I mean I haven't done it in like recent years at all I got to do one super late spot it was the first time I worked at potluck and usually at the rules of um the store once you first get hired you don't get on friends and family list for a few months it's something you have to earn uh that's when I was working there so it was like for the first four months you didn't get any spots you had to keep working there and then eventually it'll toss you on potluck and then if you're good enough they'll put you on the name or you put your name on the list so you have to get up so so it was my first night working potluck it's 1:30 in the morning and the host is about to finish

13:34the show and I'm talking to one of the guys I'm like hey I you know I just got hired here I haven't gotten up there's still two people here there's no paid regulars can I just go up at the end do like three five minutes and the managers looked at me was like whatever go ahead and then yeah I got to go up 3 minutes did like potluck at 1:30 in the morning in front of two people and that was like the most funnest I've ever had well you're realizing like holy I'm on stage at the com store just that alone I'm actually behind a mic in front of an audience at The Comedy Store yeah yeah where everyone else has been that's been following these exact same footsteps yeah you know this is a conversation that I had um the other day with uh another comedian where we were talking about how there there certain actors especially I think actors who will treat people um that are like what

14:22they call below the line like producers and people who are extras and people who are you know um they're they're not Caterers things like that they're not the they're not they're not the executives and they're not the big top people and the other actors so they treat them one way and then the rest of the folks that work on the set a different way like those people are not equal they're they're like below the line and we were talking about how with standup everybody at the store is pretty much like once you start working there once you're people like you and you're cool we're all the same thing yeah like you get that like like whether it's Daniel TSH or you know Bill Burr like they'll talk to you like everybody talks to you like everybody's the same yeah cuz we all know that we are that person like everybody like everybody working the door that has dreams to become a

15:09standup is like me when I was delivering newspapers or driving limos the same thing we're all the same thing it's absolutely crazy too cuz like I mean working at the store I mean you put a great Point like there's definitely a moment where Headliners start taking you seriously and then treat you like a peer yeah and that is an awesome moment and just a like it's interesting right when it happens like I remember when like you know you first started talking to me or like jessick or like Jeff Ross first like gave me attention just to like talk and like I could hold their attention like we like it felt like we were peers and that's just a insane feeling to have as a young comic for the first time well it's that's part of the the scary thing about I think it's probably any any Endeavor whether you're you want to become a an artist or a surgeon or whatever the you want to become if

15:57you have people that you that are ahead of you that are already doing it it seems like the barrier between you and them is insurmountable M and sometimes just someone saying something to you just someone saying look everybody starts out as a beginner there's no instant experts no you start out as a beginner you don't know what the you're doing and then eventually you figure it out so everyone you see that is up there that is that's you we're all the same thing just people PE and the people that are further ahead you kind of have an obligation to go hey you if you like the art form and I love the art form I think stand up com is like my still my favorite thing to watch after all these years of doing it you want more people to succeed oh yeah you know so this is I think there's a greed thing that some folks possess where they only want to shine they want to be the only

16:45person who shines so they they see these people coming up they're like them you I'm going to keep these down kiss my boot you know there's there's some of that you know where they trying to kick you as you're trying to climb up behind them I've experienced a few times but I was my mom always told me and my dad too my mom always said uh it was one of the things where it was like you treat everyone the way you want to be treated and also you also got to remember it's like it's like you have to be nice to every because you never know who's going to be who yeah well you should just be nice cuz it feels good too yeah and it's also feels good to them feels good to you like when I go sorry when I go on open mics and I always make sure to tag all the guys running the mics always make sure to say thank you and stuff cuz it's like you know I'm not the only one and you always

17:27got to try to take care of other people and bring them up yeah and that cool little network of social media you know of tagging people's Instagrams and you know letting people know like the haha and Tuesday nights great show like all that stuff helps helps everybody helps the community it helps uh people who are comedy fans like if you're a comedy nerd holy what a good town to live in oh absolutely it's crazy and you see a lot of them you see them like come to the store and sometimes it's like unnerving because you know they've seen your acting you're working on these new bits like a you've already seen this bit Yeah you feel like such your fraud that's how I feel every time I go up at the roast battle CU I get to go up every Tuesday at the roast battle and then before it was just like audiences who kind of like have seen the roast battles for the fans of it but now it's like

18:09this is the first week where people came to see me like they were just like oh my God we know who you are and Moses who runs the show and Coach T both just they were like you're you're here to see Frank it was like a black couple too they're like black people like Frank this is crazy but it was just ni and so but now it's like there's a pressure every Tuesday for me to do do something new to write something new yeah you got to ramp it up yeah yeah but you're still working at the store too you I saw you had pictures of you sweeping up after a roast battle Yeah that's a great feeling too I had to put in my uh two weeks sort of like my almost two weeks go get you up there yeah yeah I had to put in my I had to tell my boss I was like listen I was like I love working here but I'm just getting too busy at nights like I can only work phones and then I was like so

18:54I got to go do you know standup stuff and they were super cool they're like that's great we're really happy happy free and that just shows that the system's working at the store it's the only place that I know of that really has that system where the employees are all Comics mhm they're all so it's so weird it's a fun place to work because of that it's the best man I mean there's no I mean in that picture too it's one of those things where I was like someone called me and was like uh can you work phones and I was like yeah I'll work phones so I worked phones and then I sat the main room cuz someone couldn't make cuz someone was out of town so I sat the shift and then every and then I had to help with the roast battle cuz I do that anyways it's just part of my job so it was like I did all these things and then I got to do a set and then I got to judge the roast battle and toss

19:34jokes out cuz when I judge I mostly just write jokes so I can just say funny things while I'm and then I let everyone else do like the critiques and stuff it's also like who am I right but I I I just an opportunity for me to shine and make funny jokes at the people battling but I mean it it's all just in today's work you know it's all just work well that's the thing about that roast battle show that's really interesting is that it's really a joke writer showcase because everything has to be new there's no you can't use stock jokes and you are you're essentially given an assignment you know like hey Frank Castillo this is you know Bob Smith and you know you got to figure out what's up about Bob Smith's head that one joke he said about that dude what was it his forehead oh Joe's forehead uh Joe's forehead's Joe's forehead looks like it added a second story on it so it'd be more room to

20:21think about dicks that kind of you know because the Dude did have a large forehead but like that's something that you have to think up about that person and if you make a regular forehead joke that's not going to be like it's like oh okay cool he's got a big forehead whatever but if you make it and add layers do it it's more funny yeah and it really is a setup punchline format yeah I mean it's it's a really funny format because it's a blah blah blah is so blah blah blah you know you can't there's no ranting there's no you you really you only you can't go on rants also because you really only supposed to be allowed one line like sometimes people cheat and they'll throw like two and three in well that's that's the cool thing about it it's like it's almost like boxing that's the beauty of the roast battle show it's like it's not only writing it's also performance and

21:11it's like the last especially in the finals you can see where like I do some crazy and then it's also that's something I learned from Mike Lawrence in the season one where Mike Lawrence season one he was one of the only guys to be to start the thank you blah blah blah and then go into the joke and then hit him again so it was like so it's fitting a rebuttal in your setup and then this season I did something new where it was like I knew that if people hit me with the looks like joke they were going to stop and wait for the laughter and then do the rest of their joke so in my mind I was like if I hit them quick with a better looks like joke it'll take the momentum out of that last joke and now it just depends on this joke to create the momentum right so it's like you're playing chess up there yeah it's like boxing like those looks like jokes are just quick Jabs and then

21:57your big big jokes are your hay makers yeah there's some mean that gets said too oh my God like some soul searing like like you'll survive but you will be scarred oh yeah you know some people are really Brut but hilarious too it's a weird art form it's a totally different thing you know like but this whole roast battle thing is a totally different thing to regular standup but oh yeah regular standup is in it oh yeah yeah cuz you still have to like perform that's why like that last battle with me and Bard was so good cuz bashard is one of the funniest dudes I know he's a great writer super cool dude and an amazing Rose battler but it's like when you're in that situation and there's just so much pressure cuz it's like you're getting made fun of you have to memorize these jokes cuz they had us memorize the two guys we po the guy we were going against and the two possible

22:48winners of the other bracket oh and how much time did you have to write these bits uh so it was I think five days five days you had to write five jokes four jokes to the first guy one possible overtime and then the finals was five jokes one possible overtime so six jokes so total you're writing 182 jokes not including your looks like or your quick rebuttal holy that's a lot of work yeah and are you taking like these five out of a pile of like 20 or 30 like how many jokes you actually writing before you narrow it down well usually if it's like a for the TV thing like it was uh they let us like I had my cutman which is like my boy Dan Nolan he helps me strategy oh yeah yeah that's what they did season one too well that's what they wanted to do cuz it's like in the finals they wanted to be a great show so for me it wasn't like he was writing me jokes it was like we both sat down and I wrote

23:38a bunch of premises and a bunch of angles and we talked strategy and then we went from there because it was like if I'm going to make fun of Joe I can't just be making so many gay jokes I'm going to get dinged for that but it's like he's that's such a big characteristic of how he is and how he walks and just like how he holds himself that it's like you can't not make jokes about that right so it was like if I make jokes about it I I have to be silly and it has to come from like a childlike ignorance you know what I mean so I can't like call him like like a or something like super mean or anything I just got it like but I could say was like he loves butt stuff you know what I mean like that's just funny and childlike you know well I see what you're saying like yeah like there's a tone that you have to set where you you can't be too mean no while you're even while you're saying really mean

24:23exactly cuz you can lose the crowd yeah but if you can gain their trust to the point where you've said so many funny things that's where at the end you can really earn saying something terrible but as long as it's funny now is it weird to be doing these roast battles where you're writing all this new stuff every week but then when you're doing standup you're doing a lot of stuff that you've already done before yeah it is weird in the sense that it's like it's making me realize that the different like that I can just I can create new material you know what I mean cuz especially in not High Press situations but it's like if I give if I have a goal or a set a set time like I can write new material and now what I'm realizing is like I can just do that with my standup if I can do that with rose battle where I sit down and write all these jokes I can do that with writing packets I can

25:09do that with my standup and it's just getting up and just doing it you know what I mean yeah where's that book yeah right back here to your left dude this book is the people are getting mad at me now from for suggesting this book so much but it's called The War of art it's by this guy Steven press field and it's essentially about overcoming what he calls resistance what most people call procrastination oh yeah you know that overcoming this whatever it is that keeps you from actually putting in the work oh yeah absolutely yeah and he talks about it and he he sort of identifies it and then gives you tools to deal with it and explains how it affected him he was essentially just not doing well at all in his life till he was about 40 and then at 40 kind of got his together and now he's just an award-winning author and uh written a bunch of great movies and a bunch of great books it's just

26:00very inspirational stuff but that that's what I was kind of getting at it's like I think that now that you're in this new spot where everybody knows who you are you won the roast battle you got all this heat on you it's like super important now to take all that writing to the next level absolutely like I mean I thought it was busy now or before just grinding and writing these jokes now it's like like I walked into levity and the manager knew me like everyone kind of knows who I am in a sense you know me not that I'm like oh I'm famous they just know that I did this thing and well there's a there's a window yeah yes you got to jump through that window you know because some people miss that window and it's weird you'll run into guys that were on Last Comic Standing a long time ago and they had a window where things were happening for them and then it blew away and they never

26:45capitalized they never jumped through it and then some guys like Ralphie May who jumped through it running you know Ralphie May probably worked harder than anybody after that show was he was cranking out DVDs touring everywhere and uh he capitalized phenomenally on his time on the show but other people just did not they just never really never really got it cooking you are um you know you're you're like in a great spot like right now yeah and that's for me it's like I don't plan on stopping like I want to do as many sets as I can I'll do it I'll still do someone's kinetta for 20 bucks like I'll do you really yeah man get ready I'll do whatever man it's just have a fake Kera just to have you over like get him for 20 bucks man won roast battle there's no Mexicans here um yeah I mean but it's just like I mean I just want to do standup that's my favorite thing especially like I do it

27:36does suck that I'm not going to be at the store as much working there CU that was one of my favorite things was just sitting working the door and just watching all the comics go up cuz I really believe the store is a comedy College yeah no it definitely is but you graduated from high school and now you're moving on into University life oh it's insane man yeah it's cool it's really cool this the store right now um I think uh is a wonderful place for you to come back to when you're doing other shows and then start doing shows there as a paid regular you know once you showcase and get through yeah I showcased once um and I can't wait to Showcase again but I think we were talking about this earli is like a lot of people come up to me ask me like are you going to be a paid regular there one of those things where it's like I want to but I want it when it when I feel

28:19I've earned it and I deserve it I don't want to get it just because of something yeah dude the the funny that you wrote on roast battle you could do that all the day you could do that all day about you could just like pick subjects you know like roast Trump you know did you see that new thing that came out today that I mean not yesterday that crazy rant that he went on that press conference for an hour and a half dude people people that are friends of mine that are conservatives are scared like I have some buddies of mine that were like dude this ain't good like he seems unstable oh yeah he's going crazy my favorite are the people that look at it and they're just like no this totally cool no this totally fun these people are out of their mind there was a reporter who um did you see that one reporter um the Jewish reporter when you try to shut him down told him to sit

29:05down no no the reporter that um he was talking about what kind of a landslide he won the Electoral College by that is the greatest Landslide ever and this guy was like absolutely not he pulled out the stats yeah he pulled out the stats everybody did better Obama did better George Herbert Walker did better George W did better they all did better yeah I think that was the guy from CNN and he ended up calling CN then he's like ah now I got a new name for him it's very fake news well I don't know if it's that guy it's on Patton Oswald Twitter page he retweeted it that someone um said something about uh calling him out on his lies cuz he says what the you know that he won by the biggest Landslide ever and then this other guy comes in like someone who's that overt with their ego like that's never been a part of the white house before it's so strange to see and I just I think that it seems like

30:01already that's wearing on him oh yeah he looks like a crazy person you could see it he it's it's it's he's unraveling you know what I mean and it's also like the people he's got around him you know it they're not helping him at all is that a blunt with like Tobacco on the outside oh you son of a I'm a big fan of blunts I only started smoking I only smoked these a couple of times but Charlie Murphy got me on these oh man when I growing up in San Jose my cousins all they did was SM weed and one of my cousins it was like a thing with him whenever I'd roll a blunt he'd get mad at me if it if it wasn't as full as possible he'd get mad yeah he'd be like dude there's too much tobacco I can take and then I wouldn't like get mad but he'd like give me so like I had you put tobacco inside too no no no no it's just the outside oh okay but it's just like if you don't roll it fat enough um

30:50I see what you're saying the tobacco leaf on the outside now you those Tob what's really weird is those tobacco leaves are the that's the same leaves that's on cigars but you don't inhale cigars but you inhale this so you get so up from these things in a weird way oh yeah it's a little bit of nicotine I mean I a lot of nicotine I there's a lot it's battling it's like it's like stupidity and and and peace are battling together I um Love Weed weed's my favorite I remember when I had to tell my mom that you're a weed smoker well she found weed in my uh in my room Frank and then she told me she was like get over here Frank yeah she was like if I ever catch you smoking weed she's like I'm gonna beat the out of you but then the second I turned 18 she was just like and then it started to become legal she was like the first person to try to get a card really yeah my mom smokes

31:43tons of my mom's a party hilarious why was she worried about you because she when she was young she did a lot of crazy stuff Sheed going to ruin your life yeah she doesn't want me to you know get crazy well people always resist the idea that their children are going to become adults it bothers them and it bothers them their children are going to face the same tests you know when you're when you become a parent you realize like you think about all the stupid that you barely survived and you're like God damn it like what about my kids they're going to have to make those same stupid mistakes and then you know people want a helicopter parent Nerf the world I'm good dude yeah my mom uh my mom loves me so much she just she care I mean she's a mom she cares she had me when she was like 19 so when she was um she just doesn't want me to turn out to be a bad which I mean I think I'm not

32:30going to be you know dude you're a man you're done exactly you made it through what is this oh yeah okay play this because it's hilarious this is the the Trump saying something then the reporter correcting him listen this is it not going through H we have a little bit of a sound here go bring it all the way back to the beginning six Electoral College votes I guess it was the biggest Electoral College win since Ronald Reagan you said today that you had the biggest electoral margin since Ronald Reagan with 304 306 electoral votes in fact President Obama got 365 in the President Obama 332 and George HW Bush 426 when he won as president so why should Americans trust well no I was told I was given that information I don't know I was just given we had a very very big margin I guess my question is why should Americans trust you when you accuse the information they receive

33:35of being fake when you're providing information this well I don't know I was given that information I was given I've actually I've seen that information around but it was a very substantial Victory do you agree with that you're the president okay thank you I that's good answer yes this is craziness this is craziness like you saw him adjust in mids sentence where he was like uh I was talking about Republicans and then turns out this guy hit him with a bomb it's almost like he verbal boxed him like he set him up with that because he had Herbert Walker in his pocket he built up you know he went Obama and then he hits he like why I was talking about Republicans and then he what about look at this George Herbert Walker Bush boom which was like what is it 455 he won by Landslide yeah damn and then what did he do what' Trump do he just goes yeah it's just weird that's what the

34:23information I was given like you want to know something funny man uh when I did the rose battle um this is a great moment just for me as a Hispanic man um I told that Baron Trump joke what's the I don't know that joke there was a joke I did and it was right after the lady got fired from SNL right and the joke I did was um and Dan Nolan was the one who wrote it and he kept he pushed me so hard to do it and I was like I don't know if I can do he's like no man you have to do this one and I was like fine um but he it was uh Anna could pass for a trump she's got the body of Melania the brain of Ivanka and her womb is baren oh it's just a it's a play on words you know what I mean that's hilarious so and it was just a good joke so mean yeah she's not Baron an's amazing woman um but it was it was just so funny because it was like the next day a conservative website wrote an

35:15article about it and the article was about how good the joke was because they were like this is how you don't write a joke or this is swinging down against you know the president's son this is a great joke on playing Words and this can get to win and it was just so funny to see people look at that and be like Oh okay that's just a good joke it was really weird that intelligent people thought it was okay to attack his kid yeah you I mean you should never just attack a person especially a kid who doesn't know I mean weird it's weird that people make these they just have these decisions they make like that yeah like you're it's okay because he's the kid of the enemy or something like that he just a little kid you got to hold yourself to a higher standard that's why I was like making that joke I felt like it was it was a higher standard but the that's good that you have that higher

35:59standard because I I think we all recognize that base idea that base instinct to attack someone's kid like that yeah the best part though was uh after that uh someone came up to me and they were just like we don't want you to not make jokes we just want you if you could please you know not mention Baron Trump anymore that'd be great yeah and I was like yeah don't make a habit of it yeah I was just like I was like no I mean I'm not gonna but I was like thanks I was like oh that feels cool that they told me to not do something I was like oh that's great dude you're a rebel yeah but it's it's it's a really good joke as you said it's a play on words it's not mean at all it's not mean at all nor is it really a joke about him it's just his name it's a great joke that's a pretty pretty Flawless joke when it comes to that subject you know you got all your Bas cover walking right on the line

36:45that's that's some people would just say you're crossed it but I think that's I think they're wrong yeah and I think that's a perfect Point CU it's like you have to not make these jokes to find line but it's like as comedians that's our joke job right we got to not push the boundaries and like say terrible things but it's like you see a challenge you know see how finally can walk that line when you see a guy like Trump going through this whatever he's going through right now do you think that that's just the this is just total speculation do you think that's the weight of all these people that are upset at him do you think that's the magnitude of the job do you think he this is just who he is I don't know if this is who he is um um I think he definitely I think from what we can see is he definitely stepped into a job he thought he could do and now he's just like oh okay because

37:35there's definitely sometimes where you watch him and you see him try to run it like a business or the way he talks to people where it's just like oh that's the way a boss would talk to someone he thinks is employed by him yeah um boy I think he's also going through the scrutiny of some of the smartest people in the world yeah man and I don't think he ever has been through that I think he's gone through the scrutiny of the general public in an entertainment sense and in an a sort of uh you know a cultural icon sense is the term of this billionaire flamboyant character who puts his name on all these fabulous buildings and runs casinos and all that stuff I mean that's how we thought of him he's like a bad Iron Man well he's you know he's Donald Trump I mean he's you don't get to be that successful without some crazy drive to win and sometimes you know you get this Blinder

38:28sort of almost bullheaded determination forward and guys like that conquered worlds yeah you know it's that's the real deal man I mean that's really what it is that mindset that it's not always correct but it's somehow or another almost always prosperous yes you know they can get through they can get through but I think a guy like that who's so business savvy and so's good at making money and some would argue maybe you're right maybe I'm wrong you know that well he just invested his dad's money I've heard all that but he still made a lot of money yeah right maybe you know who knows how much I don't know how much money he made he he's got money that's for sure Rich As Yeah and I feel like all throughout history those guys that have done that have been like conquerors like this is just he's just getting to do it in business yes you know now he's trying to

39:17do it on a global scale but I think that that's almost like the mindset of those like super billionaire I mean they have like conqueror genetics or something oh yeah yeah he's got like a little bit of Alexander in yeah but but I think there's just humans like that but now those humans find themselves in business like these like super winner characters you know what you care about what you think you know this we're going to do it my way yeah you know sometimes I feel like I have that drive too you know what I mean where it's like now especially where it's like I I get that you know what I mean like that drive it's like it you know let's just work hard and get this done yeah well I don't know if that's what he's got I mean I definitely think he's got some of that yeah I mean it's definitely misplaced in an odd Direction well it's just under the scrutiny of all these

40:05insanely intelligent people now it's just really really fascinating like that reporter like that that kind of interaction is a new thing to him oh yeah and it's the just the way he communicates it's I don't think he's ever been in a situation where I think he's always been in a situation where he definitely feels and thinks he's like I'm definitely the smartest person in the room right now but like when you put up up against some of that are you know more intelligent and like also have their ready and their facts he he doesn't know how to like handle that and then he just like breaks down in a sense what you just saw you know he like changes his words and he like uh it's really interesting from a psychological perspective you know Howard Stern had a really fascinating take on it and his take on it was that Trump really wants to be loved and it's a bad job for him

40:52because of that oh yeah cuz it's the president there's no president that's ever been universally loved I feel you know what I mean every president like either people love you or people hate you yeah it's one or the other it doesn't it's it's never like I can live with them yeah yeah you know like some people were like I could live with them with George W after 9/11 his approval rating went through the roof remember that yeah I do cuz he made us feel better he did you know like we said okay well when some goes down this is the kind of guy you want there some guy who gives a real good spee right afterwards has this strong military backing and go okay this is what we need right now yeah and in a lot of ways you know that that was what you need after some sort of a a global crisis like that you need some and you need a leader yeah so that was probably like the one time that I can remember

41:46just and it wasn't that long before people given up on him again you know after mission accomplished maybe that that was like the beginning of the end once they did that they had that they had a war worship with a giant mission accomplished Banner in the background and the war is you know goes on for another like seven years right so when when did the war end there how how much later after that mission accomplished did the war actually end my favorite is there was a dude whose job it was to go get that printed up oh my God he probably was just staring at it like that's so insane someone talked to him and they said sir it's over he's like beautiful perfect put up the flag let's do this put up the banner yeah look at that mission accomplished that seems like a scene in a movie doesn't it yeah when you look at that photo it's like Is that real is that really what

42:38happened folks as you get older and you see this thing going on you see these people and you see the presidents and you see the White House and Congress and you realize after a while oh these are all just people yeah these are all just people human beings and they're entrapped in this system that they've constructed in order to dictate where they go when they go how much they get and how they can live I mean that's really what it is a series of laws that the the the the the general idea is they're there to protect you and your interest but in a lot of ways not really we just trust it it's just a system yeah a system of control that we all agree to yeah man you know I think that it's so funny because it's like the more stuff thaten happens with him and then just seeing everything the more and more I'm just like this isn't real this is all just this has to be a joke yeah it feels

43:34if doesn't feel real but it never did it feels less and less real with time though it does you I mean you always make those jokes where like we're in a simulation yeah and there's many a day where I'll just especially going on the road with you just being here just anywhere I'm just like oh if this was a simulation this is definitely the simulation I'd be playing yeah it seems like this is a fun one to play it seems like there's a lot of game elements in it seems like there's good decisions bad decision repercussions for each it's insane yeah it's a weird weird world that you live in when a popular person wins the popularity contest for the first time yeah you know like someone who decides that they they're going to run things like there's never been a guy like Trump who's run a country like that I me just became like a really popular person and then just took over the

44:27country yeah fascinating absolutely insane my favorite are just the people that follow him that's like I can't I I love just watching them and talking to them some people are happy that there's chaos make no mistake about that there's some people that are happy that he's in there because they think that the system that was in place was insanely corrupt and I think they're right and they're banking on him being the solution to that you know because of his business savvy I don't understand politics or finances enough to know if they're right I don't but I know that like culturally it's weird the whole thing is weird I feel like you know the difference between right and wrong yeah I would hope so I you know it's not even it's not necess I think it's an impossible job oh yeah I really do I think it's it's I think we should phase it out I think we should figure out how to get a large

45:17group of people you know I think I you could go as many as like a dozen and have these people work it out like really smart people yeah all scientists no different different disciplines I think you have to have people from the medical profession you'd have to have people from the scientific communities biology um astrophysics you'd have to have people that are predicting like what what's going on with asteroids are we cool is everything cool or should we just should we just it do whatever we want because we're going to get hit by a giant rock 40 miles wide you know in 10 years should we just chill what do we do yeah I need people smarter than me to decide stuff like that cuz it's one of those things where it's like like I'm an idiot but I'm also pretty kind of well versed on a lot of things yeah but I mean I don't know anything about finances I mean I like to think I know a

46:09little bit about politics but I mean if there's a group of scientists and people that are really you know desiging I'd much rather have that than one dude who's not a big fan of a certain amount of people yeah I'm I'm exactly like that I don't know about politics but I I do know and I talk about it people you shouldn't talk about something you don't should I'm not I'm not even going to study that crazy system I think it's ridiculous I think you can kiss my ass people allowed to give you money and then you do things that they want you to do they donate money to you and then you make decisions that benefit them what for real you I don't need to be smart to know that that seems a little bit weird that system's crazy it's just old as and that's how they had to do it in the 1700s okay 2017 we could come up with a better system than this yeah across the board

46:57you know like everyone's tripping about the uh immigration which they're deporting illegals and stuff they really are huh yeah that's so is it more than they used to deport people CU how much they used to deport people they're still deporting regular amounts of people from what I understand from what I've looked at it but the thing that I'm worried about and that worries me is that it's like there's certain people that obviously are legal here and are getting sent back not all of them but just the fact that there's some that are getting sent back that are American concerns me yeah and there's some that are really cool as mhm cuz I mean I have family members that are real cool as yeah there's there's a lot of really nice people yeah I make this joke now where it's like I I joke about losing my ID and how that's going to be a big problem for me now like if I get

47:43stopped and then I have to convince this dude that I'm American you know what I mean a lot of people that hear me say that joke are like Ah that's not real that's stupid that's dumb fear it's like you can just talk to them and it's like yeah maybe but what if that guy's having a bad day and also don't you think like every other Mexican that gets caught in that is going to be trying to give the exact same speech I am yeah 100% man it's just it's weird because they're really only targeting Mexicans around California you're not going to Port Canadians hot blonde Canadians hot blonde girl from Vancouver you going to send her home yeah the out of here they only targeting Mexicans right I would assume white people are going crazy right now oh dude LAN doesn't know about immigration they're taking our jobs it is my liberal you limousine liberal my favorite too is that it's

48:31like you know I talk about these things and stuff in a very joking manner but these are real problem certain people are having and I went to a small show and it was in a house and it was just a lot of like white chicks white guys which is fine you know what I mean but I could just see some of them start to get uncomfortable with the things I was saying but it's like you know what that's fine get Build That Wall Build That Wall I just feel like one day that's not going to be real the wall no I don't think the is going to be I don't even think I don't think that I don't think there's going to be and I don't think this is a great idea like a new world order yeah you know like idea like one government to rule the world yeah but I think it would be really nice if people could go wherever the they want I I just feel like this idea that you can like legally restrict people's movement

49:16based on patches of dirt they were out onto is pretty ridiculous it just seems like that's going to go away if it doesn't go away a 100 years from now it's going to go away A Thousand Years now Preposterous it's like what's the point people I mean whenever I talk to people about the immigration thing people always uh and I respect people's opinions I'll listen and I'm willing to learn and like I'll listen to what you have to say and if it's terrible I'll probably make fun of you a little bit that's just how I deal with things um but it's like California used to be a part of Mexico yeah if you look at the history book did we buy it I shouldn't say we I threw myself into white people even though my parents are all immigrants I we're all immigrants um the colonists yeah but it was um I mean that's why funny though I people do do that like I said you know we I would say

50:02we like hey well we killed all the Indians no I there's zero direct connection to me and Indian Indian deaths oh yeah absolutely but you know they'll say we did it you know when we came here we pushed out the Native Americans like we what is this we and it's funny that they say pushed out you know what I mean it's like no it was pushed outs in a very nice term to what we did to them I said it too yeah it's but it's that we thing is Supernatural supernal to do it's super easy to get locked up into little tribes we just got to give it up yeah we got to give it up it's stupid it is I mean it's old and dumb it's so dumb it's fine for teams yes you want to play sports it's awesome Cleveland's going to take on La we got to go there repres we need a big as rid to unify everybody it would do that it definitely would I saw what 911 did to New Yorkers I guarantee you if we had some sort of a mega

50:54disaster the people that survived would be nicer to each other yeah and they would realize how fortunate we are we've just we've been in a time of Peace for so long that we we can't intellectualize like we can't like in a conscious sense wrap our head around the fact that at any moment there could be a 45,000 M hour chunk of rock that slams into US yeah that can happen at any time we all think we're Invincible dude those are scary like they're supposed to be like 900,000 near Earth objects between us and and Jupiter oh yeah it's crazy is is that right did you see there's a I hope I'm wrong about that but I it's something scary like that it's some insane number Tyson put up a um diagram of uh the Earth and just the solar Tyson I think you should be real clear well I mean that's the only Tyson I no I'm just kidding just start calling I'm sorry what what did he put up uh he he posted

51:55it was on his Instagram it was just a diagram of the solar system like rotating but then it showed like cuz we're technically flying through the universe and then it shows just like it's just a group of us just all you know and and the moment that I realized that we're not stationary and that we're actually just moving through the universe my head exploded oh it's crazy yeah that that graphic is beautiful it's you realize like it's taking a long time for it to make that motion you're looking at it over millions and billions of years but that is what it's doing yeah oh yeah that's it this is our world is spinning around a giant nuclear explosion that's hurling toward something what it looks like is if someone launched some sort of a nuclear bullet and we're looking at it in slow motion it's crazy like if a gun launched a sun bullet I mean that's what we're

52:50looking at it's just our version of time is so so brief that we can't appreciate that this thing is in motion because its motion requires billions of years to complete so it's literally like a a bullet getting shot through the cannon and all those things around it are particles that are sort of connected to it like little fragments of it as it hurls through Infinity yeah that's us we're just a spec in the history I remember I was in class and they that it was like in the in the time of History or in the time in the time of the universe humanity is just a second yeah it's not even that it's nothing it's nothing we're just a little tiny thing how many more near Earth objects okay 15,629 near Earth objects have been discovered some 876 of those are asteroids with a diameter of approximately 1 kilometer or larger 1,700 oh my God potentially hazardous 17 1885 of these

53:58near Earth objects have been classified as potentially hazardous asteroids or phas Jesus Christ you know when they have just three letters it's serious they broke it down potentially hazardous asteroids 1785 I was thinking of last just last night I think I was talking about my friend what if one doesn't hit Earth but crashes into the moon and just up the moon that's not good either real bad it's all bad there's some people who think the moon's a hologram it's definitely not real there was uh there was one that slammed into Jupiter that the explosion it created is was so big it was I believe it was like almost the size of the Earth itself oh my God that's crazy yeah well Jupiter apparently is the reason why we are alive cuz Jupiter is so massive that it draws everything it's like our protector it's like our guard dog look at this look at the impact watch this impact it is the craziest

55:00look at that boom that's an asteroidal impact on Jupiter it was the size of Earth it was the size of Earth yeah what in the man what in the the size of the whole earth explosion the size of everything on this planet get the out of here that's so insane that's one of those moments you can't even run like if that happened here on Earth you couldn't run from that's just one of those moments where you look at it and you're like this is going to happen well you know that's what they say Earth is that Earth is Earth too and that there was an earth one and Earth one got hit by another planet and that's what created the moon yeah that's like I think that's the most current theory of how the the Earth and the moon were formed and why they're so close to each other yeah there's a great diagram of an asteroid hitting what the Earth one is what they described it as I

55:52said and then it just shows like how it would spin off and just a piece of it just so there's a good diagram of how that's a pretty great Theory now does the moon it's interesting the the moon doesn't spin the way the Earth spins right it has a different spin it spins around us but it doesn't spin on its axis as well is that a stupid question probably right I just don't understand gravity so I should probably shut the up the mood orbits Earth every once every 27 . 322 days it takes approximately 27 days for the moon moon to rotate on its axis as a result the moon does not seem to be spinning but appears to observe us from the Earth to be almost perfectly still scientists call this synchronous rotation ah fascinating wow that's cool oh so we're both spinning dude it's just the way we Spin and the way it spins appears to us that it's not spinning oh that's enough

56:57amazing dude the Moon is a crazy thing there's something one quarter the size of us it's dead as and it's just floating in the sky it's like having a dead body next to your house that you never talk about but you just look at it C you just look at it on your way to school there's some dude who's got a skeleton on a bench he's just sitting there like that's what we could be we could easily be that stupid Moon floating the universe would not give a no the universe doesn't care the universe does not give a if there's water in Arizona it doesn't care my favorite is just seeing the moon during the day and you're just like oh wow that's trippy but really cool it is so important to have people smarter than us out there so we can find this out you imagine if you and I had to figure out what was going on oh we'd be dumb we'd be done i' just be making fun of stuff here they're showing how it works

57:48here how is the moon spins every part of it is essentially the same part that's kind of fascinating so the way the Earth spins the way the moon spins it it rotates it's such a synchronous order that it looks like it's not spinning that's beautiful s see science is just such a incredible thing that someone could figure that out and they can tell you and then you don't have to figure it out on your own like cuz that's there's too much work involved you imagine if you had to figure out you know what is nuclear physics you know what is um what's an atom what's the what on your own no that's the weirdest thing about people like we all act collectively whether we know it or not we all act collectively and without that I feel like I have a booger on my nose do I no you're good why is that so embarrassing because everybody has boogers right if you don't have a booger something's

58:39probably wrong with your nose but to have one to talk about it goes back to like childhood you got a boogie yeah like you know you catch your kids picking their nose hey get out of there stop digging in there just that good feeling it's a very embarrassing good feeling of picking out a booger oh it's so satisfying yeah dude you ever watched someone do it in traffic I have sure the best no one's looking you're just going at it I had my nose fixed I had a deviated septum and uh after I uh after I had my nose fixed I was blowing out the most disgusting blood boogers because it was all like scabs and blood and I would blow it out and it would be giant dude giant like the size of a thumb Jesus yeah it was crazy I showed it to Tom sigur once we were at the airport and I blew my nose into a tissue I go dude you got to look at this and he looked and he dryed he's like he appreciated it though

59:37right he really had a hard time looking at it man that's my favorite just grossing at your friends yeah well that's one thing that Fear Factor killed dead in me oh gross yeah that's that's that's one of them right there oh wow yeah that came out of my nose son Jesus yeah that was real I feel like you could name it it was Giant I was like that doesn't even make sense um I know I'm disgusting I showed you a booger but it's more blood than it is a booger I used to Surf and uh I was bad at it so I would get knocked underwater all the time oh no and I remember the first time I ever went I didn't realize that there like when you were constantly surfing you get water shoved up your nose all the time so like there's just a moment where you'll be out doing something and it'll all just release cuz the pressure's gone so I remember I was like I don't know if I was like talking to my

60:22girlfriend or something but I was just talking to someone and then just all of a sudden it just released and I'm just talking them in just salt water all over my face W just disgusting that is disgusting dude asteroids are freaking me the out right now we shouldn't have brought that up that's that's one thing that could just change everything yeah and they happen all the time like we just missed one one one came between us and the moon didn't it wasn't there one that like recently came between us and the moon Trump's going to build a wall or it's about to yeah I think see if see if you can find out what that is by the way let's go champ everyone calls me that now when I walk let's go champ no just champ it's such a great feeling it's so stupid too like I'll go to open mics they just be like ch ch like a that feels good do you know who Shannon the can of Briggs is

61:11the name sounds boxer the hilarious Instagram I had him on the podcast let's go champ yeah that's him let's go champ that's where that's where the hat comes from this is an authentic let's go champ hat from The Source oh my God that's the best I felt it appropriate to wear pres sir since you are now the roast battle champ one happened January 9th January 9th Jesus Christ it was last month people that's insane oh that's so scary we're in a goddamn shooting Zone we're in a like a shooting gallery isn't that what Randall Carlson was saying isn't that how he described it we really are he's right there's a bunch of out there a 1,700 and something or another that could kill us asteroid came within the half a distance from Earth to the Moon flying through CIS lunar space what is CIS lunar is that like the sex it was born with yeah cuz that's cisgender do CIS lunar is that connected to Sis

62:12idiot don't even know what the sir prefix is what is the CIS what is the CIS prefix what is that really mean there's someone uh online right now just screaming at us you idiots shouldn't talk about space CIS lunar space this morning scientists at the Catalina Sky survey discovered the asteroid which is being called asteroid 20117 AG13 on Saturday discovered it on Saturday Jesus they discovered it on Saturday is that what they're saying quick I think so yeah oh my God 5 to 111 ft across was moving at about 10 miles per second oh my 10 miles Jes per second with the same size as asteroid that hit Russia in 2013 the size of the asteroid coupled with how fast it was moving and how low its albo brightness made it difficult to view through a telescope Jesus Christ I can't see it it's dark and they can't see it couldn't see it that's insane to me would you rather be on the SC the out of me man

63:20would you rather be on the asteroid or on the earth you want to be right under where it hits you don't want to survive you don't want to be eating people you know you just don't want that to go down you don't want to get to that spot or you eating people cuz that's where it goes it where it's where it goes when it gets down to almost everyone's dead and there's almost no life and there's almost no food and there's just all you need is one or two aggressive mean and next thing you know you justify some and you're on an episode of The Walking Dead asteroid buzzed earth and moon January 25th what is it it's another one another one this is a different one oh Jesus Christ she's gonna terrify Joe today this is the January 25th one so the other one was January 6th is that what it was seven seventh or 8th I think oh my God we're tripping about walls man we ain't tripping out asteroids oh

64:11my God they found this one on the 20th pass between Earth and the Moon late Tuesday night according to the clocks in the Americas the asteroid closest approach was 11:45 Eastern Time on January 24th 2017 d d d da da da came within I don't know what that means 0.68 lunar distances whoops godamn popup Windows um 0.68 lunar distances about six 162,163 miles slooh broadcast a show about this asteroid last night which you can see in the video above and what website is this uh earthsky.org but most of this information keeps coming from slooh which is an observatory wow thank God those guys are watching to see death coming with not a goddamn thing we could do about it do you think they tell do you think they if if if an asteroid's going to hit Earth do you think they tell Trump I don't know I don't know what you do what do you do if you know everybody's dead yeah do you think he

65:07tells us like if there if you're the not even it doesn't have to be Trump but do you think if you're the president you find out the world's going to end because of an asteroid do you tell everybody well no one wants to feel completely totally helpless yeah but we absolutely are we've been hit by planets you we could get hit by a goddamn Planet well I don't know if you guys know this but they think there's another planet at the end of our solar system now um they don't know where it is but they think it's six times bigger than the earth I've actually heard that there's been a lot you can't see it yeah because of the Shadows this thing is crazy this universe is crazy there's rogue planets rogue planets go flying around and slam in other planets like billiard balls didn't they find a planet that like they think is literally just a diamond dude I was I was high as

65:55once and I went outside and it was foggy and uh the moon was full and it was foggy and so it was this crazy illusion like there was a enormous Moon flying in the sky enormous moon like many many times larger than the moon itself like it was almost like another planet like just hovering right over us because of the glow of the Moon and I remember looking at that man and thinking to myself that could that could be another reality could be Planet somewhere there in the universe that is looking up at this gigantic thing that's like another planet just floating right right above you and there's they're everywhere they're everywhere they keep finding new ones yeah just flying through this huge storm of planets and nuclear explosions man that's crazier than anything that we we ever contemplate on this Earth while we're alive just the very nature of space itself there's a I

66:59think there's a diagram of like the biggest sun that or the biggest star they found in the universe and then they compare it to our current sun it's insane and it's just it's unfathomably big it's insane one of the cool uh I guess it's a demo it's an it's an application on the VR thing I've got on the HTC Vive you can go into space and uh like generate planets and send them into orbit and you're just standing in the middle of it and you can make that out like Alpha centuri star and then watch what it looks like when you send the Earth around it and then they explode into each other and you can you can just keep making them pop up and what you for hours it looks it's super cool looking wow godamn unand my girlfriend super into science and conspiracy things and stuff so this is literally all we talk about well I think that you're going to get to a point where virtual reality is

67:46going to be able to recreate a journey through space like an HD you know if they can if they can figure out a way to take really good photo like some of the more recent photos they've been able to take with those satellites that they launch into space they're they're the incredible detail of all these different planets I mean to be able to do that like to put on one of those HTC Vibes and fly through space insane and just feel what it would be like to Circle Jupiter and like look down at it you know that's something you get lost in for oh I would love to do just weed and mushrooms on that that'd be crazy you might not even need it dude that's true you might go into a natural psychedelic state if you could if you could get something where you could in a float tank put on an HTC Vive and go for real right and go flying through like the rings of Saturn and to be like that close and and

68:40to to have like the correct whoa watch this incredible moment an Indian rocket releases over 100 satellites into space in a new world record what see that's another thing space junk 88 of them are are going to try to take a picture of Earth every single day so it seems like they're trying to do exactly almost what you're trying to talk about right there um did you see there's there was a some sort of a um a plan to collect space junk that failed did you hear about that I didn't hear about oh yeah Japanese what is a Japanese uh yeah yeah space Junk's insane that's funny that's where the part where where we're at is where we got to build something to go collect all the space junk yeah we're crazy we left floating in the sky above our head we've got metal we left metal in the sky above our head oh it failed that's great Japanese space junk remover experiment has failed in orbit what uh

69:43what happened to it is it saying wait does that mean that there's more junk now in space I don't know if that I don't know if they made it back and couldn't catch it the system designed by a Japanese space agency and a fish net company should have unfurled a 700 M uh tether from space station res resupply vehicle that was returning to Earth according to jaxa scientists however the system appears to have faltered space junk is a growing problem in low earth orbit since the beginning of the Space Age debris as small as Flex of paint wow and large as whole satellites and parts of rocket boosters have been accumulating and is estimated that over 100 million individual pieces of junk wow tens of thousands of P pieces that are over 10 cm in size are whizzing around our planet what that's like moving shrapnel oh my God we're so crazy it's insane people are so bananas

70:49they just keep launching new up there they're like wh it's already let's launch a 100 more how many didn't Elon must say they want to launch a c like a crazy number of uh SpaceX launches like one a month or one every week what are they leaving debris in space too I don't know I'm not sure well they're bringing the thing back so maybe not yeah right if you can get something that you can shoot up there and then bring back would you go to space if you could you you wouldn't even just I mean if it was just like up top and then come right back down I had a whole joke about that I go look up you're already in space going out there is like just going to a shittier neighborhood yeah you want to check out the shitty neighborhood you get in Planes all the time what if it just went a little higher yeah exactly well it doesn't that's why I get in Planes well I think that's what's

71:33you I think there's going to get to a point where the planes are going to to get two places faster they're going to use the orbit and go up high and then come right back down or you smoke a joint go to Joshua Tree and lay on your back and you realize you are already in space you're already here we're in space we're just in the best possible neighborhood let's just be thankful just be super lucky that we're here we don't we out on the moon where there's no air that's true yeah man I mean you like extreme stuff you wouldn't like want to just see what it was like you I don't like things that'll definitely kill you okay and the the like going into space can definitely kill you oh absolutely like it goes wrong a lot it goes wrong a lot on those folks like I'm terrified of height so I'll probably never go but that movie Gravity Oh yeah that movie freaked me the out oh

72:20yeah just sitting there going Jesus get back down there get down get down to earth down there that anxiety is so real get the out of there you're floating in space you hear things crash together but they don't make any sound or you see them crash together but there's no sound that was a freaky part of that movie where there's no sound in space cuz there's no Oxygen there's no air there's nothing to carry it there's nothing there's no atmosphere you don't hear it does that make sense though yeah also real quick on that Jack the Astro that hit Jupiter it wasn't the size of Earth the explosion was the size of Earth wow however difference that makes but oh yeah no the explosion was the size of yeah I think we said that pretty sure I'm just making sure yeah yeah I don't think the asteroid was a side it was a big that would be like another planet flying around right yeah well

73:07that has happened though that's what we're saying okay I don't know I mean who knows how often does happen but they think that's how what we're saying before that the that's see if you could find that Earth one and Earth two I think that's what they're saying that that was the most recent theory of how the moon was created that the Moon is uh actually made out of the same that we're made out of just dead as floating in the sky our brother it's our Dead Brother floating over our head every day but he's only like 10 that's why he's so little God it's like the one that's still attached to us dude I mean it is what it's like right yeah that could be us that could be us we're so lucky that's why we got to work hard we're bitching and complaining it's weird times yeah cuz all this information like I'm sure was probably around when uh my parents were my age but uh in order to go get it you

73:58had to do a lot of traveling you had to read books you had to you had to go to school you like couldn't just Google it no everything's so readily available now don't you think like for Comics this is like the best time ever for creating material absolutely that's why it's like I mean I talk about Trump and stuff all the time but it's like I've never seen you know a president that's just given us so much stuff to work with a comic said this to me uh he was like he was like I'm I'm not going to write any Trump jokes I was like why not and he's like cuz that dude's doing funnier than anything I'll ever be able to write I feel I feel bad about it this feel it just it doesn't feel this is my feeling it doesn't feel like everybody's happy no everyone's not happy and when people aren't happy on both sides like there seems to be all this it seems super tense right now

74:48no one I think we were talking about this earli no one's willing to listen and learn everyone's just willing to shout as loud as possible people just got to be nice yeah that's why I like doing stand up about it because it's like if I can make both sides laugh at this the stupid things I'm saying then they're in a way agreeing with me and they're in a way can hopefully learn a little bit different yeah I think we're too much of a bunch of babies to have a left side and a right side yes I think we're too we're too much of babies we're we're squawking too much yeah you know I think if we could figure out a way to get rid of that that whole that whole inclination to want a left and a right that whole inclination it just seems to me that it's just so easy to pick a team and to get locked into that team's mindset locked into that team's goals locked into that team's ideology yeah say the

75:41that the other people in the team like I see so many people that write their tweets now and afterwards they write sad it's hilarious I mean it's kind of funny in an ironic way if they mean it iron it's funny but it's it's really funny when they don't mean it ironically when they're like mimicking the way Trump tweets yeah I see it's it's so common now sad we got a president that tweets I know it's amazing I mean hope he doesn't twet about us I know right he don't know what the they're talking about that was taken out of context that's a bad Trump impression he's like Matthew Rashard should have won he has a what is this this is the most this is what I could find on that giant impact creates Moon the scientist theory on a giant impact model seeking to explain the moon's creation experts believe that an object that crashed into Earth led to debris that later formed

76:36the Moon new Theory says that incident also created a smaller second moon whoa where's that and it said these two moons right here it says they uh they collided to create what we see now oh Jesus CHR Christ yeah it was really hard finding stuff on this Earth one Earth 2 stuff really brings up a lot of stuff on DC wow how would they fig these people are so goddamn smart look at this their Theory also says the slow the slow impact forc most of the smaller moon to attach to the side of the moon as a thick new layer of the lunar crust how the did you figure that out they're destined to collide there's no way out yeah you should freak out folks everyone should freak out and then uh let's relax oh yikes this is what's the most important thing to realize no matter what we're in space no matter what what you're saying the the the reality of what you're looking at what you're

77:28focusing on if you look close to your your neighborhood or your your your city or your your country all of it is taking place in this ball hurling through Infinity yes like that is it's all figurative we we we're creating all of these social constructs well they're there you got to deal with them I mean you got to deal with the consequences of you know that things up over here yeah these Hitler fellas you know when you get a Hitler you really got to do something about it you know he's not just going to can't just hug it out of him no no I do you think he gets impeached well I'm not saying he's Hitler I was actually talking about Hitler yeah I wasn't talking about like like people call other people hit he's like Hitler I never use that term and I don't think he is like Hitler no no he's not cuz he's not killing people and also you know Hitler's a whole total

78:23different thing no Hitler was Hitler yeah Hitler wasit it's so stupid I think Burr had a bit about it maybe he has on his new special yeah have you seen I haven't seen SE special it's so great I saw him do the stand up I need I need to sit down and watch it that one my favor that's my favorite is watching him pop in the store and do it and I watched him do that bit and it's such a funny bit because he's got a great Point M yeah he definitely does and I think it's a tired word now it is and no one's going to bring that mustache back though I'll do it you think so I I'll bring it back no I'm just kiding Ari did it once wore it on stage people were so angry at him he's like I'm a Jew I could do it I have a Jew pass it's so funny it's the funny the things that we find offensive yeah it's a weird time for that yeah it is people are getting really UPS upset at um

79:14people talking about you know pretty much any subject that isn't about them as an individual and then if you do like if you do a subject if you're a white man you should be writing entirely about what a white man does period that's it just about white men and even then you shouldn't be doing it because you should shut the up n man yeah yeah yeah no I I I one of those things like you could say whatever you can I I believe in freedom of speech more than anything but I also believe that you have to deal with the consequences of what you say yeah but it's also like we have to stop looking at each other as groups yeah you know white men as groups as white women as groups stop it's silly we're just a bunch of people we got to stop looking at each other as groups based on what we look like or what part of the country we're in and that's eventually going to move to other

79:59countries it's just going to take time I just wonder when you know cuz the kind of relationship that we have with each other all piled in together in a city like this and living so comfortably and for the most part like relatively low crime even in a place like Los Angeles if you really consider it yeah that never existed in history this is a new thing so people get better at life they get better at figuring it out I think we're better now than ever before even though we still it yeah but we're we're real close to one day recognizing other countries just like States yeah just like you know like you could just pack up and move to Florida you know there's there's going to be situations like that where people just go all over the world and go wherever they want yeah it's G it's going to be weird it's going to be I mean it's also just progress someone said it it's like progress is

80:44measured generate or by Tombstone by Tombstone yeah does that makes sense it's true it's like I look at my grandfather and like he's I love him to death and but he was an immigrant to this country and he felt a certain way around about other people and races and it was one of those things where I was like I growing up growing up around that I realized it's like oh that's just kind of the way he thinks I don't have to think that way right I can treat people nice and be cool with everybody yeah yeah it's I think that's more apparent now than ever before yeah I think that's people are more aware of um the the similarities that we all share versus the differences more than ever before and people are more vocal I think anytime in my life that I can remember I'm sure that during the Civil Rights Movement people were very vocal about racial racial rights and uh you

81:32know and uh putting out or stomping out racial hatred but I don't remember it being like as much in the public forum as it is during the last like say like maybe 10 years or so seems like people have they're much more organized in their ability to uh to protest to educate people to explain things to show things people may might not have been aware of before I think it's a lot of just um social media and just the internet and having all that just readily more available yeah there's definitely that I think people like I think people arguing having these conversations are super important even if they do get shouty and stuff because that's I think that's how you learn is you have to have these awkward hard conversations yeah and they're they're it's really hard it's it's hard to uh it's hard to think that every every time you you buy anything anytime you uh

82:28anytime you do any kind of interacting with someone you're these a lot of the stuff that you're getting is coming from places where people live Hard lives yeah like really hard lives like the and people argue well hey this we've talked about this recently they're like well hey you know that's how countries grow and prosper and you know they have to start out this way and they have this you know Revolution and Industrial Revolution and all these people they start Manufacturing things the the status of life goes up the quality of life goes up you're living much better than they ever lived before yeah but they don't they don't live like us yeah right is that that's okay yeah yeah I don't know I mean yeah they went from Mud House mud Huts to you know straw or whatever's a better comparison well we were talking about those foxcon employees you know those folks that work and make iPhones

83:19what oh that jump off the roof so much they have to put Nets yeah dude those people are stuck in terrible jobs tell me that when you read a history book a thousand years from now and they talk about what kind of Barbarians we are in 2017 they will start to talk about the rise of the machine and they will talk about the cell phone and they were like the people coveted the cell phone so much that they they found a way to compartmentalize their ideas about slave labor to the point where these people work 16 hours a day in a gigantic concrete structure making their beloved phones and they hated their job so much and they jumped off the building so much they put Nets around the building but the people kept buying phones but but didn't they have enough phones already they did they did they didn't care they wanted better phones new phones hire more jumpers the isn't that what the pyramids

84:13maybe we think kind of are they were potentially created by slave labor and they were woried things for ideally like a religion type thing you know what I mean they used to think they was slave we don't know for sure yeah but I think they don't think that now I think the most recent theory is that they were very skilled workers because of the food that they got yeah that they were almost like praised because of the craft they could do go back to the ancient Greece or ancient Rome and their giant uh places of worship their gods and whatnot I'm sure those weren made by regular workers you're right but here's the thing like those things were like really like art I think we look at buildings a little bit different when we think about like someone being forced to build something we think of the person who's being forced to build it as being like a low paid worker whereas in those

85:01environments that person might have been a goddamn Superstar like a guy who could build a marble Coliseum you know guys who building those pillars people who are figuring out how to stack these gigantic Stones perfectly on top of each other and make stone pillars how the did they figure that out so I mean you know the smart guy wasn't lifting it he was telling all the rest of the guys how to get it up maybe yes but maybe they were all together I think more likely you had a lot of smart people and then you had a few like Leonardo da Vinci who were super Geniuses who had figured out a bunch of crazy and was designing things and drawing things and these these people are just like these rare blips of like superpower creativity that exist all throughout history and they Propel us forward yeah like uh who I think Steve Jobs then sure he's one of those kind of

85:51guys Da Vinci I can't remember which artist it was but they had uh they would make all these ideas and they'd have like their understudies or people that were almost as skilled as them do these things and make them you know yeah I mean I think that's what happened with the pyramids and stuff they probably had these people that were planning but you also still need skilled workers to build these yeah I think well particularly something like the pyramids you there's a tremendous amount of math involved and they're all doing this somehow or another when they didn't even have steel no they supposedly had copper tools and they figured out some way to grind these Stones so perfectly they just sit on top of each other just completely flat level barely stick a card in the CRA when I was looking up the stuff on the foxcon factories I remember the it said the reason why or at least that was their

86:38argument why they weren't in America because they had upwards of like 30,000 mechanical engineers and electronical engineers at the ready so those would be your skilled workers and there still are slave labors underneath them but those are the extra people that maybe that's why it's not happening here that makes sense because I guess with something like that where the demand is so high and the quality and the standard so high like iPhones yeah think say what you want about iPhones I've dropped this stupid thing seven or eight times it works great you know I love this thing to death they can take a beating man it's crazy they can take a Bea in these things are weird when these things take over I think it's going to be an apple robot that you know takes I'm resisting that watch but it's looking tempting tells you your heart rate I bought my girlfriend one and she loves it and I just

87:25I don't want to be I don't headphones are going to be great the new iPhone's going to be cool and they announce it soon God damn it stop they can't stop get back on your work duty make the machine you know these people are having romances connected to each other looking at each other through glass where they're wearing goggles and they're making phones that's the only socializing they get to do do you think we might have a bounceback moment where it rebounds a little bit and uh mord and Suns take over not like that but like uh they might be a day where we see like you know if if next week happens we can stop it but like we need to stop all of our jobs from being taken we're oh no yeah we're already done drinking out of mason jars and wearing suede boots that you're just resisting the inevitable sir you do not need a fiddle in the woods you're on the porch with a fiddle with your friends

88:14non-ironically singing together in perfect tune how dare you you're not going to stop the rock it's headed this way that music might no going how many thousand feet did we figure out 10 miles a second oh Jesus Christ I can't even comprehend how fast that is that it makes my whole body hurt just hearing just hearing that I just like go limp like I remember I was living in San Jose when I found out I remember it was like I had really great science teacher and it would just blow my mind all the time and I remember listening to him and he was talking about how when you look at stars you're actually looking in the past technically wow because it's been cu the light's just hitting us it's taking so long to travel this is something that's happened a long time ago yeah yeah when they look deeper and deeper into the universe they're literally looking into like a time

89:06machine yeah that's so insane my mind crazy it's just hard it's hard for your stupid little head to figure out what these people figured out and how they all had to agree on it okay I know this is going to sound crazy but what I'm thinking is when we're looking at those Stars we're looking back in time like that's what I was say but I sounded too crazy okay are we right are we right let's look at this let's look at this and get the pads Out start calculate calculating it like okay do we when do we go public with this um I think we're good I think we're locked in we have discovered that the Earth is 4.7 billion years old and people they're just telling us these calculations like we're waking up in the middle of this trip it's like we are literally on a spaceship and the spaceship is hurling towards somewhere and in the the middle of this waking up we have to learn how to speak we have to

89:57learn how to uh remember to write things down that we've already figured out we have to be able to save those things send them down to the next people so they don't have to figure it out on their own and then the next people the next people everybody work together and while this is happening you're waking up in the middle of a spaceship and it's flying it's like a sci-fi movie it is a sci-fi movie I we it literally is what's happening think about how much information has been lost throughout time yeah right like the pyramids that's a perfect example the Great Pyramid of Giza if you look at all those insane photographs when they do those 3DS when they they go over it you know with like with a drone and film it and you just look at it you go that is an insane accomplishment like I can't imagine what it feels like to be there in real life I wish it wasn't such a sketchy part of

90:45the world right now no I would like to go over there I mean I'll be fine I just got to grow the beard out a little bit longer and be quiet dude you would slip right in have a nice one of them little hats white hats with like lingerie style I wouldn't get back in but I would totally totally be able to chill you slip right in bro no problem man let that hair get just a little bit scragg lier in your beard you're good yeah man you know and just talk like you got a sore throat I can't talk that was one of the jokes that I'm doing now that I I really had fun with was is like the idea of me getting deported and going back to Mexico and having just to be quiet the whole time cuz you can't speak Spanish I can't speak Spanish let them know does that piss off some Mexicans some Mexican Americans you can't speak Spanish in San Jose it did a little bit growing up some well older

91:33Mexicans cuz it's like they look at me and they're just like oh god what have we done you know what I mean like at what cost is our freedom and our dreams but it's it's kind of well I didn't learn because there was a moment for my grandparents and my mom and my dad where it was like we don't want him to we don't want people to know he's you know his span like cuz it was like almost looked down upon that he's like you're speaking Spanish in public you have to speak English blah blah blah but now it's the point where it's like it's much more of a benefit to learn multiple languages well I would think if you were a a guy who could speak Spanish you could work in all sorts of different countries in South America too oh yeah you know what the a leak we just had a serious leak ladies and gentlemen hilarious it's going it's hit the ceiling huh yeah we had a serious leak in our building

92:28it's raining cats and dogs out there making this building wet uh are we in trouble I don't know where depends where it is what if it hits electricity you saying I mean I don't know should we get the out of here I don't know holy I told you I'm not good with electricity once it hits that level of uh whatever well whatever happen it seems to me like water pulled up somewhere and then released it sounds like it's right above us on that I don't know where if there's electronic wires up there or what not or how it could have came in or what probably look the drama is thick that'd be a great credit just to to die on Joe Rogan's podcast dude don't die I won't this we could avoid this disaster again the sky is letting us know probably that we have no control of the future and the universe is like you guys got to stop talking about asteroids get too close universe is like listen you got

93:18your own problems to worry about how about this water from the sky you need water uh it's all the water some Mexicans are a lot more Mexicans are cooler than now when they meet me cuz they're just like they're proud it's a sense of Pride like a lot of magazine and San Jose hit me up like a lot of young kids after I won like hit me up and they're like yeah yeah San Jose blah blah blah and they're like you know I want to do stand up and they ask me for advice and I you know just tell them man just do mics and yeah no you you you're in a great position right now as being a guy who's successful and uh oh Jam's going to go look you got your rubber gloves no I'm just going to look water coming in uh oh we got a serious situation here ladies and gentlemen right here right by a light okay it's not good it's not good H want to shut that light off I shut all the lights off no don't do that

94:10you don't want to talk in the dark let's just see what happens I feel good about this I do too you know just a leak just the water pouring down on us so they're they're evacuating parts of Northern California correct I think that was I got I think it was a notification in case there's Road clo it's probably because we're near some of the hills in case you're an area where your roads get be closed or the slide where to go be be ready to leave in case you have to or something wow dude I went down LEL and there was a house that fell off the side of the cliff that's that driving driving and watch like looking at those houses just it's I get anxiety just watching those houses they had a giant back porch and it just broke off and slid down the side of the Hill imagine just being that guy that like made so much money that you were like finally I get to enjoy my

95:00porch it's raining I get to look at all the Hollywood Hills I've worked so hard and then it's just like dude that's like a life-changing disaster like when your house breaks and slides down the hill that will change your life there was a whole house that slid down the hill you hear it again Jamie it's coming down hard I hear outside I don't hear coming in anymore I heard like another there was just a couple drips but I think they stopped um what were we just talking about I'm so baked Med slide house oh a house on um uh was it on Tanga no it was on Laurel it was on Laurel coming up over Laurel Canyon I don't know if you were here like four or five years ago there was a house that slid off the side of the Hill wow and you could drive by it you see the house like it wasn't like that much of a hill either I mean you know it's decent but whatever was behind it was

95:50the problem it like kind of pushed it forward like the the the ground broke loose above it and pushed it forward and it was like a big ass lawsuit and lasted forever but I would always drive by looking at that place going this is this is supposed to happen like this like the Earth it shifts constantly like our idea that we could just pitch a tent forever and be fine it's ridiculous Earth's crust not that deep right not deep now for my taste exactly you know what I mean just lava at the bottom of it yeah yeah I think it's I I'm probably going to say something real stupid like oh it's like seven miles deep but I feel like it's not that deep yeah I don't think it's that much more than that I know there was uh this mining operation I'd like to find out what the exact number is there was some mining operation um that uh they were doing this uh article about how many miles is it Jamie what's

96:36that crust a I initially I hid the radius it say it's about 4,000 Mi but that's the radius so it's a average is about 18 mil who under the continents but it's only about 3 miles under the ocean whoa that's only about 3 miles under the ocean and then lava that's how like Hawaii gets brought up God damn I don't think that's deep enough for me that seems weird we're we're like there's a ball of lava under our feet Jesus Christ yeah we're just the crust over the sun yeah man that's not good there was uh some article I was saying that I read about a mining operation where they were talking about how warm it got as you got lower and lower deeper and deeper into the Earth and you could literally feel the heat of the lava that these are drilling next to how Qui dude you hit wrong W oh God you hit wrong I can't even speak you hit one wrong vein yeah oh that's terrifying I wonder if they

97:37have that down to a science obviously they do but do they know exactly that they're never going to like drill a hole into the lava and have it spew out through the top like a zit there's got to be mistakes have been made could you imagine if that happened can you imagine if these guys were like trying to get more diamonds like there's like there's more diamonds there here's the deal uh foot past the diamonds is the center of the Earth yeah yeah so don't drill too we're going to have to wear space suits that won't allow you to use your hands so so everything's going to be done on a keypad you're going to have an iPad stra to you and you're going to have to program it like this and they'll try to suck the last diamond out and then they'll see the bubble of red where that last Diamond hole was and then that's the last thing they see is the explosion as that hot lava shoots past

98:21them like a broken fire hydrant just boom and right out of the surface of the Earth just sprays lava into the sky for years and years there's probably one chick who's just like I want that diamond how big is that diamond that's the diamond that killed everybody and I need it for you to show me you love me there's a person like that out there you know there are oh ABS don't get mad people sexual stereotypes are disgusting and I'm looking at diamonds right now actually not diamonds but an emerald dude engagement rings are brutality oh my God you know those goddamn things aren't even worth anything yeah they're I mean they are definitely people buy it but the reason why people buy it for so much is cuz they've stockpiled all these diamonds and they control the price yeah exactly it's amazing it's so smart you got to give it up for the Jews give it up strong marketing strategy

99:15when it is are they the Jews that run the diamonds it's not a bad thing to say people would say that that's racist I'll tell you it's not racist if it's a positive quality they're awesome at business how's that racist why was everybody so sensitive that you can't even say something in justest about a person's positive attributes and people think you're racist oh you said the the Jews are good about business what that's a good thing it's a good thing to be good with business you my uncle when I told him I had an agent he was just like I have one piece of advice to give you and he was like he was like what he was like what kind of manager do you have I was like oh he's like uh it's with this company he was like no no no like what you know and I was like oh he's Jewish and he was like good job that's a good move and I was like what know the business that was yeah that was

99:59all he said to me and I was like that's the weirdest thing that was so funny to me it's a weird um thing Jewish folks because um especially like European Jews M there's more Nobel prizewinning NE European European Jews than I think anybody it's really weird like there's a there's a pillar of of science or just a pillar of pillar is not a good word a collective of Incredible Minds that have come out of European Jews for some strange reason I feel like they're all hilarious too European Jews really like name one no I'm just Kidd what are you saying oh why I was just saying smoked yourself son what in the you keep going huh you're one of those keep going D oh I love smoking weed you don't just take the high and say this is it I'm good no um ride it out yeah I love riding out were you big Stoner uh grown up or no no until I was 30 oh yeah what was you going to say Jamie when

100:56you're talking about diamonds have you ever seen the uh people that dig for like diamond dust and gold dust in the streets in New York that like uh I don't know exactly what street it is but you know there's like that area the diamond area where they're all like doing exchanges and whatnot uhhuh when uh they're looking at them in their car and whatnot dust gets on their pants and little little flexs fall off and they get into the street into the dust and here's like a here's a video there's a guy there probably more people that do it now obviously but like they just dig through the dirt and the dust and the street cracks and what and they can take it home and they can find hundreds or thousands of dollars worth of like diamond dust and gold dust and Diamond flex and I'm sure occasionally they they get like really lucky and find a whole one but what oh they're like it's just based off

101:38of that's where all of it is happening on like that one block in New York they're panning that's insan yeah old school panning yeah that's insane they're panning for gold in front of these Diamond does and that's probably not what they found there but yeah heard about this a couple years ago and I just thought maybe you had heard about it since you Liv there before dude well I never lived in Manhattan I lived in New relle I couldn't afford to live in Manhattan that's amazing though I've always wanted to move to New York New York's crazy but when I was living there I was Po and I couldn't afford the parking cuz if you have a if you I would have had to get a really shitty apartment I my apartment New Shell was pretty shitty too but I I would have had to get um a parking spot and you have to pay every month whoa I didn't know that yeah it could be a lot of money too like

102:23thousands of dollars oh that's insane yeah I mean that's as high as it could go I wonder what like a good what's a good monthly rate for parking in a parking structure in New York City it's pretty I've heard Comics talk about it's pretty ridiculous so a lot of them don't keep cars because now you can just Uber anywhere you want take cabs and go all over the city but back in the day if you wanted to live there and you wanted to do road trips you had to have a place to keep your car and it was like insurmountable for me it was just there's no way was something like at my in my day I remember it being like something like $700 a month just to park your car wow yeah and I was like what even then there's just so much traffic in New York yeah and this is back when I was making like 350 a week on average you know so it's ridiculous it's probably less than that now but there's

103:09different areas it looks like it's anywhere from 300 plus up 375 there's different garages now interesting so so you can get it as low as 300 bucks yeah I mean finding some that say 250 what's an expensive one the ones that I saw that were cheaper they stack you on top of each other I don't know if you ever seen that that's really nuts yeah I remember it was 700 bucks though what do you mean stack on top of each other they stick them into these uh machines and the machines lift up and then another uh car gets driven in the machine continues to lift up and so like you have to drive the cars out and then bring the thing down and drive that car out and bring the thing down and and you might have to do that with like three or four cars look at that look like that yo oh that's CRA that's crazy that sounds terrible it is so crazy that they could do that so this

103:58is the way they save space and stack cars and it actually does work but Jesus Christ how weird is that they have your car up I mean tell me one of these guys who works there can't up one day just people things up there yeah there's got to be an accident that's happening people things up you know a car's falling off that thing and landed on someone's head oh for sure right that's had to have happened don't you think AB ridiculous I've seen valet drivers yeah well maybe I was wrong about how much it costs or maybe I had a very expensive one near me maybe it's because they stacked them they could do it for 300 bucks but whatever the the amount was I don't remember what it I didn't make any money back then so there's no way it was going to work were you serving back then uh no back then I was that was my f when I lived in New relle was my my first attempt at living

104:47off standup that was my first actual attempt where um before I'd always always had day jobs I had a day job driving limos I had a day job delivering newspapers and so then I went from there to uh to New York and when I went to New York I was just like almost making money doing stand up like almost almost like some months ah I made it this month next month I don't have any gigs you know I was like almost being able to pull it off so whatever the amount for parking and then living in New York City Plus the thing about New York City is New York's amazing and it's there's it's incredible that you can hop around and go from Club to Club to Club but it's it was harder at the time at least to do long sets so like I wanted to do like sets that prepare me for headlining on the road I wanted to like keep doing that set like even during the weekday so I just try to get it stronger and do it

105:38all as a whole that was really only available on the road for a guy like me you know I feel like that's kind of where I'm at now it's like I don't I can find this is the first month I was ever able to pay like my bills and everything off a standup and that's it was a great feeling dude you're at the launching pad well I mean I just got to be smart about it cuz I mean now that I have money that's all just going to rent so I can afford to be on the road and to build that time to where I can you know feature regularly and then make that money yeah man it's all for you right now about writing new that's it and I'm so excited about doing hustling hustling hustling hustling yeah it's cool it's a a really interesting time for you but that's got to that's that's a great feeling though when you to be for you too I mean that moment when you were able to just live off stand up it

106:29was scary I didn't think I was going to make it I was bombing a lot too yeah I was eating a lot of dick every every other show something would go wrong I go down hard yeah I mean I got my girl with me so it's real it's yeah it's a when you girl sees you bomb that's rough yeah it is oh she's seen me bomb rough rough on the ego uh she was cool though cuz she has that support system where she'd like she'd be like yeah you need to work harder but she knows I'm funny yeah right now it's finally paying off for her too well you could be a hard worker and not be funny oh yeah that that's that's a problem you know it's when the the person is funny and is a hard worker you know that's like the the what you would try to maintain try to maintain that balance but a lot of times you get either or you know but that's the case with everything it's dripping hard here man I keep hearing that behind me I'm

107:21scared yeah it's um it's cool though dude are you enjoying it I'm loving it man it's it's fun I've never I mean do you feel do you feel certain about everything do you feel anxious like how how do you feel about like the future you feel excited do you feel I feel really excited cuz I don't feel the only reason I'd feel anxious if I knew that I couldn't do it now it's like for me it's like I think of it like this it's like I've worked so hard I've worked so many jobs I've worked so many things to get this opportunity so why would I squander it you know what I mean it's like if I've worked so hard now why wouldn't I keep working harder that's the perfect attitude but I'm also like I'm not going to be one of those guys that's like you know oh I'm a headliner now cuz I'm not yeah I need get better at stand up but you could you know like a little of that like Tony hinch Cliff's got a lot of

108:09that in him but it's also why Tony hinch Cliff's so funny you know he he rides it out he does it the right way Tony hinchliff is a funny Tony hench's a mentor of mine man I mean he was one of the first guys I talked to when I had my first rast battle well he's another dude that hustles Tony hustles he's always hustling that kid works hard he's very impressive in that way mhm he's a bad he is and he's always writing new always constantly there was a picture you posted of him when I was remember when I was uh younger in comedy I don't know if I worked here at the time I think I had I think it was a door guy uh and you had post a picture of him it was right after you guys did a set and you had posted a picture of him on the plane writing new jokes already and you were just like this guy just did a set bu and he's already writing new jokes yeah he go Tony writes constantly M I think you

108:58have to he can't commit to a laptop though he's got this stupid setup where he has an iPad and his little fake keyboard he just got one just just finally welcome to 2017 yeah he would say I don't even need it I go you can't even store anything on this piece of what are you doing here you can't even put a file on your desktop stop pretending that's a computer get a goddamn computer it's weird right people in their iPads yeah he was a d Hy yep exactly yeah I mean there's a that's a he's one of the best examples of a recent graduate because he wasn't a door guy that long ago no not at all Tony's always had his nose to the grindstone but really smart about it too really um really good with like taking apart his act you know re retrying things in a different order slipping new stuff in there you know it's cool too like as a guy like you working you know as you're sort of

109:55uh getting everything going and working at a place like the comic stores you get to see a bunch of different ways people do it yeah which is really like that main room show on a Saturday night when you're getting to see you know five six seven Headliners in a row and you get to see what's the difference in how they handle things and how they set things up the 9:00 spot the 9:15 the 9:30 the 9:45 you're getting like this crazy education and standup yeah I mean I watch people I mean it's cool because I've got to see the different careers and past of people like watching Brian Moses go from a door guy to the host of his own show that he created along with a lot of great people in community uh and just to see him do that and to see where his career is going and also to see Tony same thing his career and just the path he's taking and you know he also you know used to

110:43write for Jeff Ross and all these things and you know I got to ghost right too send jokes in you know that was something he also taught me about was that he was just like you know what he was just like there's nothing you know he's like when you know those roasts are coming he's like you've already done the roast battle he's like just start pitching jokes just ask you know what I mean yeah and I did and that's I think what also helped get me on the radar yeah for sure yeah that's it is beautiful to see a guy like Moses get to host a show too he's such a good dude he is uh one of the best dudes uh and I owe so much to that guy cuz he was the one that pushed for me getting a job he was the one from that's really had my back since day one um I there's there was a few times where just me being a young guy and having a bitterness like when montre when roast battle first went to

111:27Montreal I was like you know just young and bitter and because I was like oh I'm not going why you know blah blah blah I work on the show and I almost quit and then Moses was if he wasn't like a big brother he like took it person was just like nah man stop being a you know he's like you can either get mad or work and get better and I did I stayed and I just kept battling I kept doing standup and then the opportunity came and I knocked it out of the park yeah dude you killed it and you killed it at the perfect time so now the launching path of crank Casto but it's I couldn't have done it without all those guys you know and also you pushing me too well all of us together you know I I really do honestly um get inspiration from uh looking at your Instagram page like for real I'm not bullshitting at all I see your Instagram page I'm like damn this kid is

112:16hungry he's out there grinding you know constantly doing spots those hard spots what was you telling me that too and also it was like just listening to you talk about those light spots also hearing you talk about having to go up after prior especially if such a hard time for him and like having to do those things and it was he did that for like five weeks yeah man that's crazy yeah it was it was the sad era of Prior when before he died he was in real bad shape but he still wanted to go on stage and he would go on stage and he was under medication you know it's a serious issues he couldn't walk and they would carry him up there and they'd crank the mic like it was so loud it was like hissing in the room and he would you know he could barely talk and he would drink and and it was just real weird you know it was real weird he just he couldn't couldn't really do standup anymore he couldn't

113:04really like form the sentences with the punch lines at least not in the sets that I saw every one of them that I saw was hard to watch and I'm a giant Richard PRI fan I mean I think he's he's probably the alltime number one in my eyes I think he's number one if I look back at like all the comics and their influence on people and the honesty that he had on I mean without Lenny Bruce there's no one right but essentially and George Carlin plays a giant Factor there too there's a lot of guys that play a big factor but I feel like prior was the guy yeah to this day I'll go back and watch his stuff and I go in 1975 this was just genius yeah you look at everything was going on in 1975 he came out as a comic and was just you know that was the thing like everybody loved prior black people white people people that were rich people that were poor and that's the thing that I like the most

113:55about him was like he could talk about these subjects and these jokes and it didn't matter what kind of background you came from you could relate to him 100% And he was he was uh you know essentially the the the Godfather of this style of standup that both you and I do you know in a lot of ways like without him like what would it have been like back then you know like who else was like even as remotely as controversial and as insightful and the the way he could perform the way he annunciated his words I mean he had some bits godamn can't Which special was I think it might have been the first one he like it shows him walking out on stage the lights are still up people aren't fully sat down at their seats and he just walks in he's like all right guys and he just starts getting them to come in you're just like wow you know and he just G he it's like I think I don't know if he gets right

114:49into it but he just you know it's it's seamless you know dude remember when he would joke about lighting himself on fire so funny right after the free basing thing happened I mean come on who has the balls to joke about lighting thems on fire from free Basin like uh when PeeWee Herman came back out after that huge thing happened he walks out I think it was like the first thing he was hosting right afterwards or something or presenting and he comes out and he goes it's dead silent people are like just kind of looking at him and it's right after he got caught and stuff and he goes he goes you guys hear of any funny jokes lately and it was right at the time that everyone was cracking all those py Herman jokes about him being the thing and it was just you know someone that can take someone that could be serious and then still humanize thems in a way like that is and I think that's why the

115:41roast battle is so cool cuz it's like you're right yeah yeah learn how to take it too right not just dish it out but take it yeah yeah PeeWee Herman man that was a really fascinating one cuz people kind of stood up for him like yeah like leave the guy alone like what no one's angry at PeeWee Herman you have to arrest him C the of course he was beaten off there a bunch of dudes uh 16 foot screen yeah yeah what did you think was going to happen you should arrest all the guys that aren't beating off yeah no right they're gagging on each other pounding each other on the screen and he's not supposed to beat off what's he supposed to do right yeah leave him alone who are you saving you know other dudes in there watching people yeah exactly they feel threatened I like to watch people it's hardart for them I just imagine some dude yeah I'm here just some guy's like getting ready and

116:42he turns he's like oh is that oh man I'm such a huge fan do you think that's a crazy thing to say do you think that that would be almost like like watching people have sex in another time in another culture in another way could almost be like an art form almost be like a an expressive art form where like if people on stage was like stand up people went to watch these two people people went to see how good you that would break dancing moves like if if sex wasn't super taboo yeah yeah yeah like it's entirely possible that people would be in front of each other like to show how you do it just like how people show how you dance on the Dance Floor you by yourself you're doing break dancing and spinning around I just now now I just imagine there's just smaller open m communities of like people in front of other people just like I I'm working on this hot move for like a minute and I just feel

117:35like it's going to kill dude this one move I got I kick my one leg up and I catch it like I'm in standing bow pose and I just by behind kills the crowd every time yeah could you imagine if there was professional shows and like people got cheered like Tong Po and kickboxer that walk everybody goes crazy do you see his hot new hour he's here he knows how to woo he's got a standing ovation while this dude just finished yeah I mean sex is obviously it's pleasurable but it's also there's motion involved there's a lot of things that we watch with motion involved that other people do that's fascinating right like gymnastics gymnastics there's no there's I mean the only Stakes are don't fall in your head cuz we've seen people do that don't break your leg cuz we've seen people do that like those Stakes are really high but other than that like you know why are you really doing that you're doing

118:24it to show how you move yeah you know my favorite is like cuz especially with guys like what is this exactly what you're describing I think for real oh no way sex Festival in Europe oh my God Salon erotico de Barcelona Jesus Christ I saw this on an article in Vice where that someone asked a bunch of people what they were taking they interviewed people that were taking photos at the thing and what they like to do with their photos and how creepy they are or not creepy and they're all seem pretty creepy check this this quote out so funny it's the feeling of in quotes I was there I was inches away from it I touched it that makes looking at my own pictures more exciting all right yeah it's all these guys just taking photos of these people having sex super up close I see it's crazy that dude's got like a GoPro I love it and like look how expensive that flash is on his

119:10camera not on YouTube oh Jesus Christ that's what a lot of the photos look like just super up close guys just getting way my favorite is this dude right in the front with the camera how weird are we that's so strange yeah but I don't think we're like people just get together and they no I mean just humans collectively as a whole they just get together and watch people yeah look at this guy's face that guy's face is the best oh he's indulging that guy's been he's been kept from without for so long just the the look of Joy on some of these guys' like I don't think that guy on the left's taking it seriously but I think this guy on the right is totally taking it serious all these people every single one of them is just dying for virtual sex to come out they're just dying they're just dying for that that's what's going to change the whole goddamn ball game Frank they put those virtual

120:00HTC Vive goggles on and they they watch sex acts like this they go there live they have like sex offs and just wait until I can't wait till my girlfriend catches me with one of those sex doll no no just like the VR thing like I don't hear her come in yeah I'm sure there's plenty of guys that have done that and been CAU oh for sure there's got to be yeah for sure guys are in jail for that I guarantee you something went wrong and it all started off from them jerking off with HTC Vive on oh that's hilarious hits him with something they throw a back at her and she gets knocked out I told my girlfriend I wanted to uh when I get the cuz I still haven't gotten the prize money but when I do I was like I want to just get it in cash and just throw it at her so when she gets bruised she can call the cops and they can be like what happened how did these bruis come up I'm just like was

120:50approximately $10,000 in damage yeah she laughed yeah taking her to Hawaii Hawaii's good spot which island uh Maui I think Maui's awesome they're all awesome the uh the big island is crazy because you could actually fly over the volcano you can get in one of those helicopters it'll take you to the place where the volcano empties into the ocean it's like creating more Island as you fly over and you're like whoa that's yeah you sleep weird at night with that knowledge yeah that it could just go at any time yeah you're on the side of an active volcano yeah those people live there in harmony though it's really interesting I think that being that connected to Nature the way they are because they have the ocean there and not to say that Hawaiian people don't have their problems like everybody has their problems but Hawaiian people have a more relaxed you know what they'll

121:44call like Island style way about them that I think in some way is probably influenced by the humility that you just naturally get by being so connected to Nature the ocean right there the mountains right there it's just like they're so connected to it insane they they're not they have never had City blinders on you know maybe a little bit in Honolulu people do but out there on that Big Island there's no City blinders man you're looking at something like really insanely intense all the time mountains and ocean that's am you're on a volcano son it's beautiful and there's a bunch of times in history where the towns have had to evacuate cuz the lava's coming over the hill and it just wipes out the whole town the town doesn't even exist anymore yeah then dudes put up these little Shacks on where the lava is and they rope it off and that's like their land now like they

122:30go back to where their land is like like gpsed out uh and they like put stakes in and make like a little fence over the lava and then they put like a house there have you seen that Jamie see if you can find some photos of that it's it's so bizarre I was almost born in Hawaii houses on the big island uh like temporary houses on the big island over lava Fields cuz these people they lost everything and they're like well this is the only thing I have I'm just going to put a trailer up where my house is supposed to be that's what imagine yeah imagine just watching that go down where your house just burns down and you're just like y better start over I think in Hawaii what they should have is land set aside for people whose houses get up by volcanoes it happens all the time yeah it seems like it would it happens enough where you should probably have like a

123:15backup maybe they do they have to have insurance or something I think they probably have insurance they have enough where they can relocate and have a you know a house like their old house that got eaten by the lava or is it enough to get a shitty apartment you know I don't know I don't know how much they get paid but I would think that uh there's plenty of land what am I saying what am I Marxist like give away their give away the land to the people that you want me to find temporary houses right is that what yeah temporary houses on lava fields in Hawaii they staked it off I forget who showed it to me but they staked off their area and like tied it off with like a ribbon or something like that and like hey this is my it's my land don't come don't come inside this lava P patch I own it like it just highlights how Preposterous it is yeah you know to live there but so awesome

124:02people will just stay there though they love it I went fishing last time I was there I talked to this dude who had been living there for a long time decades he started out on the east coast and uh you know the way he was talking about it man the way he was talking about just life I was like this guy is he's so much more in tune with with like just just the reality I'm good dude which the reality of life itself just the cycle of life just see seeing it out there on a boat in Hawaii pulling back into the dock living on this volcano in the middle of nowhere I mean you're living in a magical land yeah people daydream about that place yeah yeah they go there once a year and they just just God amazing the guy lives there he got there and he was like going back yeah he was like oh this is I could just stay here January in New York like what my mom went there for her

124:56senior trip and then when her senior trip ended she just didn't get back on the plane it's the move yeah here we go it's not quite what you're looking for but not quite but similar interesting so this guy set it up on this lava field it's got a little house this is where my house used to be that's insane yeah there was a whole uh piece on it and something that I was reading I don't remember what it was but it was just I get it you know the guy didn't want to that was his spot he liked the spot and he can put a temporary house there but it's just to me it's so it's just showing how powerful the the will of nature is this insane idea that you're going to somehow or another state claim circumvent pieces of a volcano yeah look at that man where just cutting through the landscape Jesus Christ that's insane that's a road dude it just swamped right through that place

125:47that is that picture go back to that picture again oh look at that that's happening right there you could actually see it happening it's so slow insane have you seen videos of Just lava taking stuff out it's really slow right how many feet a minute does It Go um probably depends on and there's nothing they can do about it right nope they can't like push it back oh look at that photo look at that photo where it's just cutting through oh the one up right there no to the left of that guy with the red shirt see the guy the to the left of that yeah click on that what in the that's crazy we're looking at the actual lava itself oozing and when you look at it as a liquid rock like a hot liquid rock you realize what it really is like that this is like sort of this is like the seeds of the the the actual Islands themselves there's people who go to those places and just get super close

126:43and study that that scares the out of me they study it real close there's been a few scientists who have died from that I'm sure only makes sense think uh I think there was actually a famous one that like uh like a what is that one go above the one the one you were just your curs right to the right of that right to the right of that what is that whoa oh my God that's a river that's a goddamn River a river of molten rock a river of molten rock just cutting through the earth oh my God it starts way up there imagine if things lived in there like salmon like evil demon demon salmon lava salmon and you have these evil demon bears that jump into the Lava Lake Steam like take they could take a certain amount of lava for like certain LA and they're roaring because they're in pain they're looking for a demon fish to eat there's a 10 meter high Fountain of Jesus Christ that's

127:41what the miners would create those greedy greedy gold miners one of the if that thing hits you oh God imagine one of like just a blob of that hitting your shoulder that man cuz even the suits that the scientists wear when they go out that like if a thing popped up and it hit them that'll eat right through them God damn I I saw something that you can uh you have a a quick second it's not like hot coals quite but it doesn't it doesn't melt things as quick as it seems or maybe it doesn't was talking into it man these guys are standing right next to it what the are they doing I can't watch this oh my god oh that terrifies me oh it's just shooting out folks we're looking at stuff just shooting out and splattering okay it's like the Earth's coming oh dude that's gross oh how about this cooking steak with lava oh I've seen that yeah that's pretty dope yeah they

128:32pour it yeah see they pour it through this thing and there's a grill underneath it and uh the just the heat of the lava pouring under the grill Cooks the out of these steaks that's pretty badass yeah I bet that's a serious goddamn steak oh look how he does it damn oh is he tossing lava on top of it oh no he's pushing it down I've revised my cooking methods Frank Castillo o I used to cook with high temperature and I just tried this last week with low temperature I'm changing my game low tempure where it's at do you cook uh my girlfriend does I know how to cook what do you know how to cook I know how to cook like Ste don't Mexican no no I know how to cook like steaks um pastas and stuff my girlfriend's probably watching this right now like that's a lie he doesn't cooked what like do you like if you're alone by yourself do you cook yourself a meal uh most of the time now or I'll try

129:22to make myself sandwich I'm the most unhealthiest person I got to I'm I got to get back into it yeah yeah you do dude it'll help your brain too oh absolutely eating healthy being healthy definitely helps formulate your ideas and also it alleviates you of a certain amount of tension that comes with your a failing body MH yeah I used to wrestle and do Jiu-Jitsu for like two years out of high school and that was the most fun I've ever had cuz I wouldn't compete or anything but it was just like I could eat whatever I wanted and I would still just say the same I felt great about myself and it was just it was nice why don't you start doing it again I'm going to I'm going to look into it right after um we'll get you in inth Planet ji friend did you do it with a ghee or without a ghee I did it with a ghee well if you wanted to do that there's John jock machados that's that's close too MH

130:05I've been to machados it's great place well it's and it's probably somewhere near your neighborhood we'll talk about it off air that's probably that's even closer and probably just as good there's something California is like one of the best places in the world if you want to learn Jiu-Jitsu oh yeah absolutely there's so many legit schools it's like it's like there's two Mecca really in this country there's a bunch of really good schools everywhere in this country I mean Jiu-Jitsu is really widespread yeah but the mecca there's a a Mecca in New York for sure and there's a Mecca in Southern California but there's like Chicago strong I mean this there's strong Jiu-Jitsu everywhere Phoenix Arizona strong there's like a lot of places of good Jujitsu and I love going on Instagram and watching the tournaments and just the different people like B is probably one of my

130:45favorite ones do you ever follow a viral BJJ on instagrram yeah I was you liked a picture of and I started watching it D I try not to follow them too often like to to re repost their stuff cuz I want people to go there instead of looking at mine M you know and maybe people find out about uh their videos but they they have the best collection of like sick moves just sick like move after move where you're like oh and you can these are real moves that like I've been doing Jiu-Jitsu for a long time and I haven't seen before you know I'm not the most knowledgeable guy when it comes to Jiu-Jitsu but I know enough about it that when I see some completely new choke variation that I've never seen before and everybody starts doing I'm like okay that wasn't around like this guy this guy's come up with some new thing and people come up with a new thing you know it's pretty regular yeah

131:31that's my favorite about watching Jiu-Jitsu is you can just see people just the game's always changing that's the best part well you know what it is like man it's like the same thing with striking when you see it at its highest level of expression it's when it's only striking striking at its highest level of expression for me is uh either professional boxing or professional kickboxing or more Thai that's where you see I think to me really I like Muay Thai the best because it seems like they're doing everything so if you're going to agree to just stand up like I feel like you should be able to do whatever you want to do when you're standing up in terms of like elbows knees it doesn't make any sense to to limit clinching so I think that's like the number one standup thing as far as like what I want to see but the only way you get to see like the highest level of

132:15expression is if there's no takedowns if there's no submissions cuz then cuz as soon as there's takedown soon as there's submission guys have a totally different way as soon as there's ground and pound guys have a totally different way of of of competing and moving and you're not going to see the same the as high a level of expression in just true striking and the same is with jiu-jitsu like you see a lot of crazy moves in Jiu-Jitsu that you might not see if you had Soccer Kicks or Stomps you probably wouldn't for a lot of those things because there's a lot of stuff that people could do to mitigate your movement that they're agreeing not to do it's not that you're just totally controlling them but to get the highest level of GRA to watch it you really kind of have to have only grappling yeah cuz then it's like these are rules we're agreeing to and then from there you can really start

132:59to learn how to bend the rules yeah it's amazing man it's like it really is like what you were talking about with verbal boxing it's like that in many ways like this strategy based approaches to things and that that that happens with jiu-jitsu it happens with striking and it's that's what's really interesting about martial arts more than you know like people look at it in terms of like this you know uh exciting violent thing this Rah R Macho thing which it definitely certainly is that's definitely certainly a part of the appeal of MMA but also what the appeal is is that it's insanely difficult to do and you have to be insanely Brave to choose to do it for a living and and it's it's insanely dangerous cuz you're you might get shinned in the face you get might get flying knee knockout like like there's a um a recent fight between Chris weyman and yel Romero did you see

133:48that fight yeah I saw a clip dude widman was doing really well in that fight too and yoel Romero launched this flying kneee that hit him dead in the head just boom and just crushed him and I remember watching that going and that's Chris Weidman yeah that's not like a regular dude that's former UFC champion Chris Weidman one of the baddest on planet Earth and yoel Romero just did that to him that that's that is a sport that is like no other Any Given Sunday man what are you gonna say Jamie George St Pierre signs to return to the UFC yeah I heard I was talking to uh my friend Stephie crookland from Twitter uh Stephie Hayes the writer and she was uh telling me about this she actually was the one who break the news to me so George St Pierre's gonna fight again good for him man took some time off chilled out feels good still still training that's the thing about George

134:45never got out of shape at all constantly training constantly learning I bet he's better than ever I bet he comes back and people think that he's going to have lost a step I bet he's better than ever yeah he wouldn't be coming back if he wasn't yeah and I've been hearing crazy about his grappling I've been hearing his grappling just off the chain just better than ever that uh underestimating someone is a huge advantage and a tool well especially a guy like George sterre George St Pierre did not become George St Pierre by you know not knowing what's up he knows what he's doing if he's coming back it's cuz he knows he's healed up probably better than ever he he's going to be really interesting to watch him return because he's different in the way he approaches fighting I think than almost anybody before him and he influenced so many people after him in that he's like

135:31almost has no ego when it comes to um like listening to his coaches and like absorbing information and uh you know being taught and you you see him rolling and training and drilling with people and I've had the opportunity um to to drill with him and do some kick moves with him go over some stuff and he's just so open-minded and so smart that guy's a really interesting dude cuz he's not a mean guy at all he's like you would never think if you met him that he was this world champion like one of the greatest if not the greatest I would say the greatest welterweight of all time you know does that mean that he would beat Damen Maia 100% of the time no does that mean he would beat Tyron Woodley might not I don't know but if you look at his accomplishments he was in my opinion the greatest welterweight of all time and super nice guy yeah smart speaks two languages fluent

136:22English and fluent uh French really fascinating guy man so if he's if he's coming back after this amount of time off he knows what the he's doing he's going to come strong he's going to he's going to look awesome or you know I don't know what the I'm talking about that's possible too you uh also today uh wagering opened up for McGregor Mayweather how can you do that if it hasn't really been signed it it has to take place before May 31st 2018 so like if it doesn't happen the bets just go away that kind of happens from time to time like the card has to happen before your fight for your bet to actually be legit but uh did you see what Teddy at said about it uhuh I'm sorry go ahead I was say he opened up as a minus 25500 25 to1 against Berto he opened up atus 4,000 so I don't know if that's saying that McGregor's got a better chance to win but usually it's just set on 25 to1

137:11is not so hot yeah McGregor's plus 1100 yeah I think conventional wisdom is that uh Floyd boxes the out of him but uh Teddy Atlas had something very interesting to say he thinks that Floyd is uh not recognizing the fact that Conor might just decide to get disqualified that like if if it starts getting crazy like if they're in the middle of a fight and he decides like he can't beat him he might decide to uh just flip him on his ass Atlas McGregor will cheat against Mayweather then Proclaim himself as King of the Ring that's interesting thought that's interesting well here's the thing if McGregor decided to start kicking Floyd and and decided to take him down Floyd is a dead man oh yeah he's 100% dead there's not a thing unless he catches Connor coming in with the hay maker to end all Haymakers that can take that Irish assassin out with one punch Conor's going to grab him if he grabs

138:04him he's going to rag do to the ground he's going to do whatever the he wants to do once he's there and if he doesn't do that he'll kick him from the outside he can hit him from a place Floyd can't even touch him he'll just sidick the out of his legs he'll stay on the outside moving around Conor's a fast man oh not slow and in the first round in particular in the first round if he decides to start kicking Floyd's legs like if they agreed on that like some sort of uh anoi versus Ali match did you ever see that no in what was it 1960s Muhammad Ali had a match against uh inoi who's this uh famous guy who's a pro wrestler what is Antonio inoi is that how you say his first name I think that's an Antonio an noi sorry for people who uh are big fans of his he's awesome but uh I just forgot his name so he he fought Ali and what he did was he laid on his back and kicked Ali in the

138:58legs see Ali would come near him and like he was going to jab and in noi would look like he was G he didn't have any gloves on either it was weird because I don't know if it like what the rules of the fight were he it seemed like Ali should have known that this dude could kick his legs so boom see he would kick his legs and he kept doing it over and over again look at Ali's kicking him and holding on the ropes like no no you can't hold the ropes but you can kick the legs but you can't hold the ropes like what yeah like this was I guess when Ali was probably look at he's kicking the inside of his legs this was probably when Ali was banned does that make sense is that when they did it this in 76 it said oh that's way past that then yeah way past that that's crazy so this is must been he just needed the money or they offered him a shitload of money but this is when he was the

139:43heavyweight champ then right is that the case was Ali the champ at the time oh good he's kicking the out of his leg he just butt scooting and kicking his legs and looking to looking to get him in a leg lock yeah just weird he's he was allowed to kick the legs I think we've talked about this they might have must have had some sort of an agreement that it was okay to kick the legs he said he was the was the reigning heavyweight champion wow how nuts is that 6 million he was offered $6 million for the fight whoa oh man is that enough yeah well I don't know if he won did he win or did he get that's the thing about boxing is oh wait the rules okay what say mcmah senior was involved too that's hilarious senior meaning Vince McMahon's Dad yeah sold tickets to a closed circuit telecast at sha Stadium too almost 33,000 people shut up for that wow of course of course

140:41everyone's going to want to see him box so where does it say about the rules like was he allowed to kick the legs what does it say very there were varying rule varying claims over the years over what the rules actually were it says no limitations on kicking or grappling and all types of kicking throwing and grappling were allowed Gan leel was the referee so according to him Jean Lael was the referee of course he was who's Jean Lael Jean leel is a legendary Judo character he's awesome he's been on the podcast he's uh a legendary guy in the world of martial arts check out this last quote too from professional BR uh Brett Hart was working for an noi at the time and he claimed in an autobiography that the black Muslims who were backing Ali made it clear that if an noi laid a finger on their champ they would kill him that's why Noki lay on his back for 15 rounds kicking Ali in the shin so not

141:34to use his hands whoa whoa whoa that's interesting so he didn't have any gloves on he was allowed to punch him with no gloves and it said well I mean he was allowed to maybe but he didn't but other forces outside told him that if they that's what it says wow made by Bret Hart but you know what man Bret Hart's an Entertainer isn't he you know like entertainers make entertaining stories true who knows that could be one of them one of them uh plot lines oo you know I mean whenever you merge into the world of pro wrestling and another pro wrestler tells you well I know what happened man the Illuminati came down and gave him an ultimatum lose the match to the Undertaker or we will take your house you know who knows man it's all plot lines for those folk were you a big wrestling fan no in high school I was okay what about you uh no my cousins were huge wrestling fans and I was the

142:31smallest one that would always get suplexed dude that's not cool did they at leave suplex you on the couch uh yeah most of the time yeah Tony hinchcliff still to this day loves wrestling he almost took a job he almost took a job with the WWE as a writer they wanted him to move to New York though I guess it's like Connecticut that's where their their Studio was yeah and he's like damn he loves it dude he goes to those matches and and goes nuts and cheers he's so silly yeah they have a they have a they have a podcast I think it's called The Four Horsemen it's Tony and a few other guys they just talk about wrestling the best awes dang man people love it I'll tell you people never got more mad at me than me giving Tony a hard time for liking wrestling oh my God those wrestling fans are die hard they were so mad at me yeah they were so mean I mean it's great

143:18though I had a fun in high school man I'll tell you that I had a friend in high school who was training to become a wrestler and I remember people would give him about it all the time and then he was like no man wrestling training clamp's no joke and then he came in he took his shirt off and he had just bruises cuz I guess when they would practice they would hit each other as hard as possible so they know exactly how hard it is that they're going to get hit you know what I mean so they can judge the oh like Palms like paling off each other and they would just practice that over and over and they practice you know the falls and stuff and like how to get it right and stuff but yeah if they up they just they they really can hurt themselves you know yeah they definitely can I mean wrestling uh involves a lot of contact there's a and it's it's so brutal on the body all

144:03those wrestlers at at some point in time wind up getting badly injured like Dan Gable who's like one of the greatest if not the greatest of all time he's got like all kinds of Replacements like Camp Replacements and all all that kind of crazy he just had this indomitable will that sort of outran his own joints yeah he loved ENT the people yeah he was an animal man that guy was phenomenal the movie The Wrestler is one of my dad's favorite movies and I remember watching that with him me and my dad love to go watch movies it's kind of like our thing it's how we Bond you know I never saw that that was the Mickey Rock one I saw like a scene from it and that was it I just never I always wanted to I never sat down and watched it yeah I I it's so funny it was like I just watched a grown man cry like I watched my dad just cry a yeah me and my my dad can't I mean I love my dad to

144:46best the to death but when we watch like Father's son movies anything like that it's always a tear jerker for him a me too I'm the same way a that's awesome it's hilarious I couldn't watch Pursuit of Happiness which one's that it was Will Smith and the kid oh when it becomes homeless that oh yeah I was like no no no you're not going to do that to me I'll tell you what you were tell I I don't want to I'll give away a giant spoiler alert if I say this but I tried to watch that movie that we were talking about uh the arrival or arrival whatever it is I tried to while I got through the first scene I'm like you shut it off shut it off not interested anymore you're not g to play my heartstrings you're talking about with her and her daughter at the beginning alert you to figure out the movie if you know what I'm talking about did you cry during Armageddon just

145:33the asteroid and oh okay nope knew it was fake didn't get me at all I knew the other one was fake Too Deep Impact that was fake as too oh yeah that yeah that was terrible do you think the people from deep deep impact meet people that are fans of Armageddon they go oh my God I love you from that Bruce Willis movie like you I was in the other one it came out a few months ago but we came out first we were out first armageddon's I thought that Armageddon they had the idea first no no no no that's the propaganda yeah yeah that's fake news fake news Bruce Willis man yeah he just said I'm good yeah stop just chill probably just go surfing and yeah man what does he do now is he still acting yeah he was what are you going to say nothing you were going to say something spoiler alert oh yeah spoiler alert spoiler alert yeah yeah I can't wait all right keep your trap

146:32shut you don't want to ruin it for everybody yeah he's always been like that guy there's like some dudes that get attached it's really kind of fascinating when you think about how many people there are and think how many dudes get attached to like that action movie genre oh like Bruce Willis like boom Die Hard you know like he was the guy for the action movie snarky action star who figured out how to save everybody yeah that first Die Hard Man what was the one the the the one the football one with Damon way right above there there right there the last Boy Scout there was another one he did and he's always this like troubled cup blending Pizza up with milk for breakfast you know like you know what I mean puts an egg in it he was always that guy smoking a cigarette well I guess we're just going to have to fight find out yeah he was the same dude in 16 BS dude he's in a a

147:24gang of movies like that the same dude in um uh Pulp Fiction right he played that boxer yeah dude he was it's a great Hudson Hawk man Bruce Wills has been in some good movies man yeah he is what was the one with the kid oh was the kid no the one with um that's true he was in a movie called The kid uh one where he's a ghost Mercury right oh sixense six cents yeah he do a lot of movie with kids that movie was up that that movie was like whoa what is this I think M night's coming back um I don't know about all that dude that Village movie made me done with him I clean my hands no I get it he's someone put it this way he's like M night's like the girlfriend you know better than should come back to yeah you know better her man unlikely I actually liked that elevator movie in in in parts I enjoyed the ride did I didn't think it was the most satisfying way to

148:21end it but it's hard how do you end a movie about you know an evil elevator yeah you know you know what I'm saying I mean they did their best photo booth kept my attention for a movie being in just the whole time it's about a photo booth is that the phone booth is that the um the Robin Williams one who's the crazy guy who's the the photo guy that was a good one I was talking I I misspoken I meant to say phone booth oh phone Colin Ferell Colin frell you know was on the other day I I saw it and I had took my friends to see it and they were mad at me it was buried with uh Ryan Reynolds locked he's buried in a cough in the whole movie kind of hard to watch it's really claustrophobic that not interested I don't need to see evil to make me feel bad show me some that's not real you know I know like like when we were talking about Avatar like Steven Crowder got upset about Avatar what what

149:16thought Avatar was like a propaganda movie I was like look dude that's awesome movie about blue aliens that movie was awesome they flew dragons I loved it it was in 3D I got to see it in IMAX that was awesome my mom my mom does that too all the time she'll watch like she watches the Matrix and she'll read into it too much she like it's about China and America going to war I'm like what do you what it's an anti-c capitalism movie I can't be here for this this is propaganda no it's a movie about big blue people that fly dragons you this is a wonderful movie this movie is fun people get so caught up in that though oh yeah they don't want to support those goddamn lefties and their crazy ideas about blue people the blue people deserve to live giant blue people that ride dragons shoot bows and arrows that movie was the it was so good so good the only thing I'm bummed out

150:06about is they're going to do uh part two is going to be underwater so that means no bows and arrows that's they have harpoons like bosen Arrow's better man that was a badass movie that was a great movie I I just don't understand people who couldn't appreciate that I don't know I feel like it's one of those things where like people just have gotten to this point where they're like I don't want to say my opinion matters so much but it's like no one can just enjoy something anymore everyone always has to have either a shitty opinion on it or like a really really not so shitty opinion well I I see people use all sorts of different things to sort of make their point and I see if you were trying to make your point about some anti-corporate movie yeah like you would see like this and say but I what I see is like dynamics that make a good story line where you're invested in the plot

150:53I'm not looking at it as a propaganda film because it's in space and they have floating islands and none of that's real the dragons aren't real either it's not real that marine guy is not a real person like when people freaked out over the Star Wars movie H it's so amazing it's not real what do you care you people are and people are getting mad that they're trying to force diversity into Star Wars movies oh let me guess you got to have the girl running things you gotta have the black guy who's a Stormtrooper I see what you're doing Hollywood see what you're doing you trying to with what we like try to take away our Glory Glory of white people dominating science fiction movies has anybody dominated any genre more than white people have dominated science fiction movies I come to you so true I come to you with sincere question he want to talk about a lack of diversity black

151:47guys in science fiction movies have zero chance of survival it is like zero eaten first right that dude in in um alien that really cool black dude who got sweaty all the time favorite one he uh he got jacked pretty quick he didn't make it very deep did he M who got he didn't get killed first though I think he got second did he get second Super normal like think of like all the big time science fiction movies Dune um well Doom is uh see then you're getting weird though because that's the rock no Dune Dune oh Dune yeah yeah yeah yeah those are all white people that's a good one that's perfect great one that's a good one when they Paul Mooney used to have a great joke about this what he used to have a great joke about uh Lavar Burton on Star Wars uh about they finally put one on TV they make him blind I'm I'm totally taking it out of you know cuz he used a lot of n bombs

152:43yeah yeah but uh it was hilarious it's funny and true it's true lieutenant ohura she's basically a secretary stay by your desk ho Captain Kirk's out here saving the day you know I mean that's really what it was like those people yeah I mean she would take the call sir it's the aliens they're on the other line yeah yeah she was the one doing all the the clerical work yeah right you know she wasn't Captain Kirk's equal okay and there's that clling on there's Lavar Burton with his goggles and there's the Kling on now the Kling on is super questionable is that a black guy that has a a Terri alien thing going on I mean are we looking at diversity and did they balance off that guy in the far right make him whiter to sort of balance it out cuz that guy's white as yeah robot he's supposed to be a robot right tell me you can make an Android that looks exactly like a person

153:32but you can't make his face not white as that's ridiculous his goddamn hands are normal color how come you idiots only painted his face paint his hands his hands are nice and pink yeah it's also like why is the white guy's so logical and you know the other guy's just so he comes from a race of like aggressive logical too though isn't he yeah yeah Lavar Burton was super smart on that show but yeah science fiction and black people what what else alien the movie Alien no black people Enders Game actually had a great uh aliens rather uh was Enders Game Enders Game it was uh if you read the book because uh the author there's a lot of skepticism of where his uh political lies um but they would say that's a word sir I know I made it up um they say that he references a lot in um talks a lot about like the Vietnam war in the in the Enders Game book like they say that the certain races that he's

154:25talking about he's cons like he alludes to them being like the Vietnamese I think I could be making all this up probably but end Enders game's a really good movie but at the end of it it's all about like this alien race that's eventually coming to attack and they have these kids do this game but the whole time spoiler alert they're actually fighting and they're controlling the ships from games it's an amazing book uh in a decent movie I actually haven't seen the movie Saw white people yeah but that was but that other guy the Indian fella what's that guy's name kingley yeah Bening isn't he Indian I think he just played Gandhi yeah he just played Gandhi no that's that's what he is bro come on bro that's how he talks he's an Englishman then right isn't he I think so but isn't he of Indian descent in some way I'll double check you ever see that one movie that he was in he played this badass

155:12gangster it's a really good movie yeah he's played a lot of really badass gangster but he played like this really mean gangster does it say here Engish actor froml UK so I'm making things up play gandi oh no no look at his name born Krishna B oh he's yeah okay he is Indian Jesus Christ life of course um but what was that movie go to that see find that movie that he played in where he was born in Kenya sorry okay go to his movies find that there's one movie that he played it was a really obscure movie it was a really good movie where he played a gangster he plays a drink Hitman I think in one movie oh those his movies this is one he won awards for oh Jesus Christ that guy won a lot of awards dude he's the best go to filmography right there 46 movies or Jesus Christ yeah he was in shudder Island yeah keep going keep going see if I can find that movie sexy beast that's

156:04it to your left there right there bam it's in 2000 great movie He plays a psychopath and you would go what that guy that guy seems like so peaceful he knocks it out of the park he's awesome it's a really really crazy movie man he played a complete nut it was great I like an actor that can play a villain that's plays it so well that I'll still hate the actor afterwards yeah yeah know I know what you mean yeah yeah well that's a the weird thing about watching an actor right it's like you're agreeing you know that that's Tom Cruz but you're agreeing that he's on a spaceship and he's targeting you know you can like the day after tomorrow is that what what is it the Tomorrow movie Day After Tomorrow yeah they Chang his name too it's day after tomorrow and there's like a weird subtitle on it too which is in my opinion like one of the most overlooked science fiction movies ever mhm it was a

156:59brilliant movie oh no that's the Edge of Tomorrow ed tomorrow that's right Edge of Tomorrow which day after tomorrow is like a what is that one with the ice with the Quaid fella with the Quaid fella yeah yeah that was qu that was a super bad movie that end of the world movie that was so bad I love bad movies too cuz then you can just laugh at them the whole time the day after tomorrow right that's what it called Live Die Repeat tomorrow they added for okay that's a great science fiction movie though and it is white as he did full of white people chop full of white people Oblivion I think or I was alium sorry yeah alium yeah uh Tom Cruz did um that movie Edge of Tomorrow and then he also did Oblivion I think like within months of each other wow oh yeah they probably were confusing as right CU they're they're both science fiction movies h oh yeah that's right that was a good movie

157:52too yeah man these there's been some good ones but with a guy like Tom Cruz like when you watch it you know it's Tom Cruz I mean that's a it's a weird thing that we do yeah you know that's Morgan Freeman there's Morgan Freeman I know it's Morgan Freeman but I'mma pretend that he's this dude who runs this planet and he wants to talk to Tom Cruz all right man I got to wrap this up I got to get the out of here we were supposed to end earlier I had a meeting that I blew off oh no way yeah didn't mean make some adjustments now I didn't realize we were talking so long I thought it was 12:30 and it was uh 1:30 I didn't mean to Crowder yet dude it was awesome please Good Times congratulations thank you so much and it's always awesome having you at the store and always awesome I'm glad we're doing these shows Frank's going to be with me this weekend tonight and

158:35tomorrow in Oxnard so find people of Oxnard tonight and tomorrow it's uh Ian Edwards Frank and me and we'll see you there all right see you later bye see you guys h