Brendon Walsh (Part 1)

00:00Well, I might not be within my best interest to introduce to my life. Yeah, you know, I don't need to get any more into like fucking jerking off than I am already. Like it's like, it's a fucking waste of time. You know what's funny too? I had a dream last night that like, I had a dream about like I was going to get a flashlight. Like I decided I was going to do it. Yeah. And you just called me today about this.

00:23That you were going to buy it? Well, it was like, I wanted to fuck a rubber pussy in my dream like it was just a weird dream and like just specifically like that dream about a sex toy yeah i mean it wasn't about like yeah my friend was in it and he had like this fucking thing like that was was sucking his dick that looked pretty complicated. I don't know, man. It was a weird dream. It was pretty complicated, like a mechanical thing? Yeah, it had almost like a little gas tank that you would use for helium balloons.

00:59It was a fucking weird contraption. What the fuck did you eat before you went to bed, before you had this dream? I ate pinkberry last night. You think that was it? I don't know. does food really give you weird dreams yeah did you put yeah i think it does i put mochi i mean i i usually don't eat late at night and i never like last time i had pinkberry was probably like four months ago maybe well we know that certain compounds in food definitely affect like melatonin definitely affects the way you dream you know and yeah a lot of people say these alpha brain pills that we've

01:30been saying they they definitely affect i've just been hearing about that uh trussell told me i'll give you a bottle tell me what you think if you think they suck please tell me no i don't i don't want to believe it's just a um a placebo effect no that i don't want to believe it's just a placebo effect. I don't want to believe it's just a placebo effect because of the dreams. The number one reason why I'm pretty convinced it's not a placebo effect is because I have these fucking weird dreams, man. They're like super potent dreams where a lot of times during them I'm aware that I'm in a dream, but the dream is so strong. There's like no getting out of it. It's like I'm aware. Like, well, this is just a dream, right? Yep, this is just a dream.

02:08Let's keep going. And it's weird. Did you ever have a lucid dream before that? Not like this. I've never had any. I've had moments, but I've always, in the middle of the moment, freaked out and realized,

02:19oh my God, I am flying. I'm controlling my flying. This is amazing. Yeah, but it felt so fucking real right before I woke up, but I was only able to hold on to it slippery for a few seconds. Since taking these fucking pills, I hold on to it

02:33for like a half an hour sometimes. And you do crazy shit? Oh my god. You murder people? Is it like the guy when you're playing Grand Theft Auto when you get the baseball bat and just walk around and beat the shit out of people. You don't even play the game. No, mine was super bizarre.

02:49And I've told the story. So in the interest of brevity, it was a werewolf and a gorilla were 69ing each other in my dream. It was a big, big fucking brown werewolf and a big gray gorilla. And they were 69ing each other. And I was trying to walk really quietly because I didn't want them to wake up. I didn't want them to come after me. It was so

03:12vivid. It was the most ridiculous fucking vivid dream I've ever had. I can remember the texture on the wall. I can remember what the table looked like where they were 69ing each other. I had the worst Joe Rogan dream the other day. Me?

03:28I was in it? Yeah. It was all about you, and it was really, really. He was getting raped by a mummy? No, it was worse. I did Alpha Brain, and it was very creepy, and I almost don't even want to say it, but I woke up, and I told my girlfriend. That might be some gay shit, son.

03:42I woke up. This is no time to divulge anything. Mind your PQs, dude. Sometimes it's best to keep your secrets boy yeah does that mean i'm all right so what happens he had a fighter on you we're doing a podcast and we had a fighter on and then he like leaned over and kissed you and i'm like whoa did that just happen and i'm like joe the camera's on right now and he goes oh well i guess i i guess there's nothing to say then or something like that. What? It was really intense. Oh my God. An intense kiss between a man and another man. It was like a fighter, too. I think it was like GSP or something it's so weird yeah you've got a very weird way of looking at men brian i was creeped out by it though it was really creepy yeah me too i'm creeped out by the fact that you fucking thought

04:25that fucking weirdo man and then it was like the whole camera thing it was like like you got really mad after the show about the camera being on and recording it's like you ruined me and wow i ruined you i'm kissing dudes and i'm worried about you taking pictures of me you were holding the guy's hand the whole time oh my goodness god brian is this a regular flashlight or is this a no no that's a real flashlight john heffron has the best flashlight fleshlight joke he says we should make a fleshlight that's also a flashlight yeah because you never know where your flashlight is but you always know where your flashlight is ah so true right that's true heffron you fucking genius you you see that's i have like that's