JRE MMA Show #36 with Brendan Schaub & Bryan Callen

00:03four three two one so we get here and young Jamie is obsessed with whether or not Leonardo da Vinci is gay and so he says it to Callan and then Callan says I said the Mona Lisa the Mona Lisa has a mischievous smile on her face and apparently according to art historians I believe that is a self -portrait and that was da Vinci himself in drag is this a conspiracy and that's why he is looking back at you with sort of a wry smirk I don't see that rye smirk young Jamie please pull up this is photograph of this is a masterpiece no this is I think this is real I think this is um at least Dan Brown in his book uh the da Vinci code actually talks about it but I this is I think this is standard you're talking about the Tom Hanks movies yes good book better book the book is a different thing than the movies Dan Brown I think is a professor of theology in at Harvard or he or something like that okay I don't see a sly smile I see a chick who lives in a place where the food sucks and her teeth are probably all fucked up she's a bit zofty no that's that dick smile bro here's an interesting thing do you know that like people did

01:18have bad teeth back then of course but the majority of the teeth problems that we have in this country have to do with sugar I thought it was the in the water the fluoride in the water no fluoride in the water that that fluoride in the water thing is so sketchy have you ever looked into whether or not fluoride should be in the water well they I know that I know that in the 50s Colorado had a high concentration of fluoride in its water and apparently the really Brad smokes weed and turns to the fucking professor professor and another thing everyone apparently I'm dead serious you're dead serious apparently if I could get my poker out I'm going to poke at the uh at the board but I think I think it came out of Colorado where there was high concentrations of fluoride in the water and then what happened was they go well there's a cluster of people who are not getting cavities and so apparently fluoride is effective at keeping cavities at bay and I grew up overseas my teeth are fucking I'm terrible I had fucking did you eat sugar what not so much overseas but I I uh I definitely didn't brush my teeth a

02:27lot and I didn't have fluoride well let's let's google whether or not there's evidence that fluoride is good for tooth decay you think it's all marketing hype from press I don't know man I've read too many hippie articles the problem is the hippie articles confuse you yeah because it'll say like natural news letter dot com they brush your teeth with like coal and shit you don't know man because there's people that get like all homeopathic on you and you're like okay is this guy right like I'm reading I'm gonna go through 5000 words here am I is he right or is this horse shit am I gonna okay now I gotta look up the actual studies okay now I gotta read this three times because I'm stupid yeah and I can't figure out how to decipher it okay no evidence that fluoridated water causes cavities reduces cavities rather that's from Dr. Mercola now that's a one now I've posted articles from Mercola .com and people go oh that guy's amazing and then other people go oh that guy's a fraud it's tough to figure out I've read some stuff on Dr. Mercola what have you read just like the same kind of stuff and he

03:24seems to be pretty like he's a doctor but that doesn't mean he's an expert on the gay or on uh on on looking at the hard evidence behind fluoride go to the American Dental Association Florida and water I feel like they must have some seven years of scientific research you guys are lucky that he's not here oh yeah well thank god right now he's on an evolution kick now more than 70 years of scientific research has consistently shown that an optimal level of fluoride in community water is safe and effective in preventing tooth decay safe is a scary word why why would you be worried about that by at least 25 % of both children and adults simply by drinking water Americans can benefit from fluoride's cavity protection without their homework or school centers for disease control control and prevention named community water fluoridation one of 10 10 great public health achievements of the 20th century okay now go to the one that says there's no evidence because I got out who the fuck is right here god I would suggest that it's been around a long time says it ain't it has but there's a lot of

04:26stuff that was I mean remember what the food pyramid used to look like it was all like spaghetti at the bottom yeah a comprehensive review by the Cochran collaboration found water fluoridation may not prevent cavities in a review of every fluoridation study they could find who's the Cochran I don't know who's the Cochran collaboration I don't know let me finish talking I know you guys like to talk over each other but let's try not to do that the view of every fluoridation study they could find only three studies since 1975 looked the effectiveness of water fluoridation at reducing tooth decay among the general population and had high enough quality to be included the studies found fluoridation does not reduce cavities to a statistically significant degree in permanent teeth in the two studies since 1975 that examine the effectiveness of fluoridation and reducing cavities in baby teeth no significant reduction was noted there either you know what I'm thinking right now you know what's going on in my head what's going on in my head right now is I go I'm thinking this is why

05:27Google is not a place to go for information well that's not true you just have to be discerning you have to you have to this is why peer -reviewed papers are so important this is why like really valuable journalists scientific journalists especially are important that's right that's exactly right fucking morons like us we don't know who's right we just said something and people go well know what so I feel like we have to get to the bottom of this although I think we have to get the bottom of this myth busters some shit yeah but my dentist we the three of us you guys never got to the bottom we haven't got to the bottom of anything you can get to the bottom you can kind of look at general trends like I said to my I had all this metal in my teeth right and my dentist I was like look man I gotta get it out because you know leaks mercury and and he said I know I was on the I was on that study panel and if you look at the massive the massive number of people that have metal in their mouth you'd have you would be able to draw some pretty broad -based conclusions because you have such a huge human pool yeah pool and

06:28they just haven't they looked at that they do a lot of comprehensive studies that is the same dentist who said your teeth are straight uh no this is a different one and I'm wearing my invisalign so I'd appreciate if you wouldn't go after my teeth because they're gonna be amazing we're at night I'm wearing them right now and you can't tell remember when Tom Cruise was like 50 and he got braces sure I was like yo yo what are you doing they came in with veneers he's like you know what my bad he also changed his voice do you remember wait a minute did he do that he went with veneers dude you don't see the before afters yeah they're brilliant his teeth are so good veneers are amazing that's what I'm saying it's amazing yeah I had a friend she did it one of the girls that I did news radio with I don't want to say her name dude I'll get us the three for one deal up in a four for one Jamie you want some pearly lights if you look at the good ones you're like god damn you teeth are fucking fantastic no look at that bam Tom Cruise what look what busted on the left see I don't know if that is uh veneers or braces because

07:18he did wear braces look at I think those are his real teeth dude look at the left I think there is real teeth and I think the one on the left is just it could be photoshopped I don't remember them being that yeah I think it's photoshopped yeah okay see that's when he's wearing braces his teeth are those do look like his real teeth they do look real braces I think those are his real teeth go to him before braces what a ballsy move to go to him go to him smiling in the color of money because he was really young in that movie yeah top gun Tom Cruise color of money smiling he's such a beast isn't he Tom Cruise is a monster I just watched the color of money on a flight it was fucking incredible right there the far left far left holy shit yeah those are his teeth bro yeah he just got those front ones those front ones have been knocked out and those are fake well no no this is a long time ago man this is this is the color of money this is like 1986 yeah I'm saying the rest of his teeth are the color yellow and the middle ones are white but that's hard to tell you've seen dark shadows all over the place you can't really

08:18gauge yellow right there look at that it's so hard to gauge but I've never seen his teeth look like that I've seen all those movies gentlemen you can't even see his right eye you're judging whether or not that's his teeth color you literally can't see his right eye because he's in so much shadow those teeth don't look super suspect to you right there no they look like teeth right there you're crazy that's his teeth his teeth normal his teeth were you're judging by today's standards that's the problem today they can make those teeth perfect like that dude if you had bad teeth back then if you had fake teeth they look fake as fuck that's true his teeth I will say this his teeth were off center like you know the middle teeth they were all kind of pushed over to the right now they're way better that's why smiling crooked 56 still doing action movies still does his own stunts jumps from building to building breaks his ankle and filming have you seen that shit no apparently this mission impossible movie is a motherfucker and he's killing it they said it's killing it it's awesome yeah that's

09:14mission impossible yet me too yeah i keep hearing it's fantastic he's still awesome i'm sorry he's awesome yeah he's awesome he's crazy as fuck but he is awesome he's also nice as shit you know what else dude he's he was because watch this he jumps off this and breaks his fucking ankle did he really do that yes he did yeah bro he does all his own stunts but watch when he lands watch how jacked his ankle gets boom all fucked up dude you ain't ready for that b you want to be a worldwide action hero i can't do that oh look at that watch how it hits watch how it hits i don't quite make it snapper rooney oh fuck you that hurts booja dick to the metal he still finishes he still finishes look he still jumped over the top he's still in scene homeboy slammed that concrete into his dick bone and look how he hobbled off he hobbled off when he got up that's why you have to have a stun man because you're gonna get hurt you guys are hardcore man but he likes everything he does all the car driving stunts he hangs out the helicopters he does all that shit i didn't know that i didn't know he's a homeboy you gotta look up

10:17your time i don't have to look up shit don't it's a free country he might have a a dark wish for the end of one of those movies oh my god he might have a dark wish yeah he might be right i have a friend i feel like people discredit him because the scientology stuff they absolutely 100 do and but listen the scientology thing is just how he gets by there's a lot of people that have their own ideologies but they believe it or not it might be radical left ideology there's a lot of conservative former like actors that are like super conservative they're on twitter like they're in it they're in a cult correct they're in a cult correct they're all right everyone's wrapped up in this own little thing his thing is just crazy as fuck by a guy who's a science fiction author who wore a fucking captain's coat on with a bunch of medals he gave himself but they have some legit buildings you driven by them in hollywood actors they have legit actors dude tom cruise is fucking legit john travolta has done some silly nonsense but he's also he's also done pulp fucking fiction he did carrie when he was like really

11:16good actor face off dude he's a very good that was a terrible movie face off oh that's a great movie one when they cut the face off and put it on the other person that could happen bro that's nick the bone structure magically changes and nick cage looks like john travolta hold on you don't like somebody anti -technology are you a terrorist that shit is not real there's no way bro okay what would happen if brian took his face off and put it on you i would think people were like oh that's brian i would think there's a monster here no people like first of all your head's way bigger so your skin would be like some 60 year old lady from belayere those 60 year old ladies where their mouth looks like it's so big it can eat your head because they've been pulling their pulling their skin back to their mouth as like a joker they lose fat in their face as you get older you remember you used to make fun of me of uh for taking acting class and i stayed in acting class for eight years longer than i needed to because i love a train wreck and these two guys did a scene jeffrey tamber was teaching and these two guys did a

12:20scene from face off and you the curtain comes open and one guy's hanging from a chain and the other guy's torturing him and then and he's like and then he goes you killed them and he goes yeah and it's all and he's hitting him and it's crazy and and at the end of the scene he's like scene everybody's like and then jeffrey tamber just takes a sip of his coffee and he goes what was that scene and the guy goes face off face off what is that he goes it's a movie it's an action movie with uh john volta and an occasion jeffrey tamber goes that scene is banned forever and that was it good movie man yeah whatever god his other fucking haters i heard this gaudy movie's terrible dude it's like the worst movie of all time i've heard it so bad really i've heard it so bad i think it's out of the theaters already yeah that's like a zero on rotten tomatoes well i don't know i saw that i saw that no i told you and i got into it okay let's let's just google how bad is the gaudy movie it's i mean they're what does it say that's amazing two out of ten that is insane okay it's crazy that has to be correct he's great he looks good he

13:39looks like a bob he looks good he looks like a good gaudy john trault is so good man act his fucking ass off did you see him in the oj simpson on fx when he played uh chaperone that's right yeah that's right he's a great he's a great actor he's great at everything man he just does a lot of bad movies you know shorty he just does tom cruise has not done a lot of bad movies no no tom cruise has done from end of days even like all those movies didn't even do i love them no sky was amazing this is fucking fantastic exactly best movie you know what else is good with that what what is the is that the one the tomorrow again he dies he keeps dying that's that that's that end of days that's no no i'm thinking of a different one he did like two science fiction movies i'm thinking of die edge of tomorrow yes that was what it was called it was called edge of tomorrow originally and then like we've talked about this before oh that's right because the marketing because it came out because their original marketing was edge of tomorrow whatever the fuck but it came out and then and then people like that no one showed up to

14:34it but the people that went like that's like the greatest movie ever so then it started to gain traction now hold up we need to relabel this thing then they relabeled it and that movie's fucking that might be his best movie it's a great fucking movie i mean a great fucking science fiction movie i agree that is one of the most underrated science fiction movies ever and if you're a sci -fi fan and you avoided it just because you're oh it's a tom cruise movie yep you fucked up because it is amazing it's amazing i did a reading with him one time and and uh he in the reading was just literally me him eric stoltz amy smart movie uh it was a movie that never got made called men and i i i was reading i was reading all the parts opposite him and the one they were trying to get owen wilson so i was right next to him and i you know spent i don't know maybe three hours with him and it was a small nobody was out nobody else was in the room like just todd phillips and you know a couple of others he in the reading like in the reading as you're just doing it acting full out and and amazing and and just loves it and almost like

15:33his eyes were watery at one point where everything's like all the chips are down the scene and and i was just like this fucking dude is up mate and i kept staring at him and i believed everything he was doing and just sitting at a table and we get there he's a little late just a little late profusely apologizes he goes guys i haven't eaten just give me a second i'm done and he's just talking he's so nice and he had five pieces of sashimi with a tiny little pepper on each one and some penta water and he was like thank you so much it was great boom boom boom and then we went out read the thing and then he wanted to hear what all of us thought of the script what our suggestions were and when he listens to you his eyes sparkle his mouth moves in an oh like you can be like i i think i was a little confused in the beginning he's like well hold on what he what he you know he's zeroed in on you and i was like this guy loves me man we're gonna be best friends and then never happened yeah we dated for a while he can i i spend time with him dude you're not scientology well he could get you to join i think he could get you to join

16:38yeah i agree with that but i wouldn't show up and i'd be like yeah of course i would get mad that you weren't showing up but if you did show up and you charmed people there and just rubbed backs i know a lot of that you love them i was in the class for 10 years that is cited in the book by uh in in um going clear that whole class that that i was in that class dude i remember you had me come to one of those little events you went sure did i went to an event a thing that was going on watched the guy sing we we watched the guy sing while we were so high we were in like a neighboring dimension watching reality through a dirty mirror in the scientology building i want to get it it was near there it was near there it was in a theater we were barbecued i mean freaking out watching this they were singing it was so musicals and it was not good and and joe was just like wow this was amazing they have so much money yeah i drove by the one in it's kind of like the silver lake area hollywood man they got a lot of money did you read going clear this is a good book it's there's a lot of what's good about crazy what's good about crazy and

17:45about being like if you have a fucking purpose in life man it doesn't have to be rational but if you have a purpose if you've like a clear directive in terms of you know l ron hubbard says this so i'm just gonna listen and i'm gonna push forward and i'm gonna stay positive and i'm gonna avoid the negative people and i'm gonna use all these tools in order to maximize my performance all good shit works yeah all good it could be do your thing some made -up nonsense and by the way if you read anything about by the way when calen's around i started saying by the way by the way that you read anything about l ron hubbard they essentially think that he was self -healing that he was creating that he was having he took an inventory of how his brain works like that's what he did he took a detailed inventory over many years of how how every how the minutiae of his brain worked and he really cataloged it so that's why a lot of some of it he borrowed a lot of like old wisdoms and stuff but some of it is i works i love you made everyone wear like navy fucking outfits yeah like the commanders were like in navy fucking

18:44outfit but if you think about it christianity focused the european and american mind for a long time yeah everybody was on the same page and it was very easy to kind of move things forward as a uniform body nobody kind of disputed what the truth was they didn't have that's a recent right like with with hubbard i feel like with scientology i'm i'm i'm pretty sure their signups are going down because of research and with everyone yeah look at sea org look at that shit look at that shit oh my god apparently that little dude is that miscavage too the guy in the front yeah it is yeah whoop your ass you get out of line now yeah he's beat the shit out of everyone yeah right yeah yeah like if you're like oh sorry sir your ham sandwich is fucked up today like beat your ass in front of everyone he'll like legitimately kick people's ass yeah look apparently was that who's that said that david miscavage his dad is that his dad that's his dad and then also on the documentary talk about how abusive yeah the book is crazy he goes into detail about david miscavage yeah tom cruise kicking the nuts i'm sorry what

19:37was his dad's name ron ron miscavage sorry ron he uh did the podcast oh he's an interesting guy that's right made me sad yeah doesn't talk to his son you know i mean that that that that that's the thing that made me the most sad that the dad and the son don't talk to each other over some nonsense the best thing i ever heard was a guy i knew who was a teacher and he was a scientologist and had been for 23 years and somebody said are you a scientologist and he kind of got caught up guard and he said well let's examine that for a sec oh jesus i've taken classes there for 20 years and i found enormous benefit from some of them and some of them and i've paid money for some of them i found zero benefit from so uh and and i and i put into practice some of the calls you know some of the courses and stuff so if that makes me a scientologist i guess i am it was kind of a good answer that's a very good answer yeah yeah i mean that's there's you can get that out of a lot of things sure there's a lot of things that are like that that have some nonsense in them but i think people operate really well when they have like a scaffolding

20:36like a structure that they have to follow yeah and then they have a purpose they think there's a positive action to their directive and that there's going to be some grand plan that they fit into perfectly because of their work you know nothing wrong with that either listen man if that works for you it's if you believe until the contract breaks up but it's just if you believe yeah right and then look at leah remini i mean leah remini so she is the worst fucking person what were they to do this to keep her in are you crazy do whatever you gotta do man leah doesn't give a she doesn't give a fuck and she's she likes being that girl that's good that's her she likes that role it's almost like she was designed because like it didn't make sense that she was in scientology to begin with when i met her right because when i met her she's like this take no bullshit east coast chick who's also beautiful so i was like huh she's a scientologist i always got along with her always she was always very friendly but there was always this like be careful don't say anything stupid joe's like all right jesus yeah i

21:38felt the same way she had so much power so here's the thing if she's got all this was she in that she's in about the bell yeah but she's got all this edition like she's got all this like brass and this the way how does she get sucked into that well she was a little kid that's how she's super young she grew up in it she got sold a bill of goods and so she was like wait a minute boy they should have kept her but how did tom crew yeah they fucked up but you never lived with tom how did they get tom though like tom wasn't that young he was very young he was very that's how they get him and john travaldo well i think people want something that makes look i bought the book i bought dianne yeah me too i bought it through a late night ad 1994 son pre -internet i was at home chilling in my apartment in north hollywood and i was like damn this sounds like they're making a lot of sense here wow and it does make sense you know the lava but some of it does make sense right what are you 35 yeah okay i'm 50 15 years older than you you gotta think you don't really remember before the internet you're like an infant yeah okay i was here

22:41as a grown man when the internet hit in 1994 but before that you would get late night infomercials you'd be buying fucking squeegees and shit we were pre -cell yeah i was pre -cell phone bro yeah when i met brian you didn't have a phone i know you guys were older but i'm just telling you this is dianetics was something you'd see on late night television it was really compelling because you couldn't do any research dude there was no google there was no there was no youtube eddie bravo would have been lost full scientific knowledge no but it's just it with all of us no one really knew this is how a lot of things snuck through yeah so you were curious you weren't all the way in i no no no no no no i never went we never thought we never thought that arnold schwarzenegger or sebester schloan or any of those people were doing steroids shut the fuck we didn't i was seven and knew that before i knew i knew they were doing steroids when i saw rambo too i just thought that was from weightlifting no i knew a dude who did steroids when i was in high school right but i didn't think i didn't i didn't know that

23:38hollywood i didn't know when you see demolition man i just thought i was like dude how did they get so fucking cut i gotta start working out i didn't know that right right maybe because i wasn't in the workout world but i mean i really back then all of us were naive to steroids we really were here's the thing is man we you could find out like okay what is scientology based on you could find out you could find in okay does chiropractic medicine work right you could google stuff now and you could look okay does fluoride cure cavities right we didn't get an answer we didn't get an answer but we might be able to at least get a sense sure and you also get a sense of like here's the critics of mercola this is what their perspective is here's the critics of this naturopathic site that might say some unfounded things about vaccinations or about something there's always some it's you can get a sense yes but you you at least you have a chance in 94 dude when i came out we didn't have a chance not a chance i had anthony robbins cassettes i had a fucking me too vinyl thing and you open it up you have all these

24:40different cassettes and i would listen to those by the pool in my shitty apartment and review but didn't you get a lot from i got a lot of he's legit it's fuck i got a lot of shit tony robbins is legit now there's a bunch of people trying to do this there's a lot of frauds all bond just tony robbins knows how the human brain works i found him enormously helpful but there's guys that it's the same thing as like with musicians or with carpenters or with comedians and there's people that are just kind of bumbling through it and there's people that kill it yeah and when it comes to like the self -help personal growth type shit yeah he kills it but here's what's interesting people are so goofy that you know he does those cold walk things these dumb motherfuckers are trying to take selfies while they're cold walking and they're burning their feet off oh my god because these stupid fucks actually believe that they're the the power of their will is keeping them from this is how it works you idiots okay coals this is i only found this out a couple days ago coals are not very good at projecting heat

25:38that's why you put a fucking frying pan down you put it that's a conductor of heat you want that metal yeah the metal's gonna cook well things don't cook that good on coals yeah it's not the same it's way like a really hot pan will fuck you up way quicker than coals so you can run on coals if you move quick you just got to go quick at the end you'll be like ah oh ah but you can actually do it if you have some calluses on your feet and move quick enough you won't get burnt sold but these dummies didn't even move they just sit there and took pictures they're like oh they just took pictures on fucking coals wow i've just got the power of now doing it for the ground that's so inconvenient because you can't walk anywhere oh my god over bro do you know shane mouse the stand -up comic no he um was hiking at night and jumped off of like a cliff and landed on his feet and broke both of his feet fucking a he jumped and landed like 10 feet below in the mountains he had to figure out how to get down and he was he just fucked up he made a mistake i forget the exact story do you remember the exact story it was like a very like

26:49normal jump it wasn't anything crazy like he didn't jump somewhere he just like dropped or like i think he stepped down i might be conflating him with someone else there was another person i know that fell at night and they did they it might be a different story i'm thinking of a second guy who also fell on cliffs anyway either way shane mouse broke both of his feet i think he was in for like six months oh i think i think it was the book blood meridian and he talks about and this apparently was a practice sometimes there was a tribe this cowboy gets captured by these native americans and the native americans killed his whole posse and then they take him and they take his feet his shoes off and they just cut the first layer of his feet off they kind of give a nice shaving so that just the soles of his feet are taken off and they and so he would have to crawl back into town to explain to them who the fuck was out there that would suck and he had to crawl like 10 miles and shit oh my god yeah okay he says i said i landed i knew i broke both my heels my left foot was in really bad shape the right foot wasn't bad i

27:55could still use my right toes so with the help of my friend who had to hike around the other way after we decided the jump may not be the best idea i had to spend the next two hours scooting down the mountain on my butt hands and right toes until we got to a flat enough surface where he and some strangers could carry me to his car he and his wife then had to go a couple of hospitals until we found an er that was not too busy to see me oh god whoa my favorite part is you know it was my birthday quick hike have some sushi catch a movie pretty low -key night yeah so he look at this shortcut i'd want to try and involve jumping off a cliff that was about 11 feet i was wearing some barefoot running shoes that were not appropriate for landing and i thought it would be too high of a jump we looked into for a few minutes and talked about it and then we decided to go for it because we were dumb guys and that's the sort of thing the dumb guys do not this so he jumped 11 feet onto fucking rock in barefoot shoes and smashed here's my here's my question that is so crazy to do here's my question before anesthesia for anesthesia

28:56and x -rays when you did that who'd you go to oh you're dead well you got back to town even what would they do go we're gonna have to try to set your ankle because that's a that's not a complicated joint back then you're so fucked back then you're right so fun you're just a cripple think about how tall 11 feet is and then jumping from that down to rocks with dude i don't even like running in those barefoot it's hard on your feet well i do i run on them but i gotta be careful like where i step yeah i have to be careful like you gotta look what you can't step on a jagged rock because it goes now whereas if you're wearing something like these these are uh these are trail running shoes yeah i run these i can step on anything with these fucking things so i alternate when i trail run i alternate with shoes like this that i could just run on anything and then those vibrams or the vivo barefoot ones but you got to be careful with those things jumping from 11 feet that 10 feet another foot above that is crazy that's crazy that's what guys do that is crazy that is such a dumb thing to do no breaking your feet or your

30:00ankles or your legs man break your elbow like shit it broke my elbow still good though you're gonna be all right yeah you're gonna be all right but you can get a blister apparently in the wrong place when you're hiking way up in the mountains and it can kill you john wayne parr got a blister on his foot or uh in his heel he had his heel cracked got it infected he was in thailand it infected and he missed his daughter's fight and had to stay in a hospital in thailand and get ivy antibiotics it must have been so bad because john's a night he's a fucking animal and his daughter's fighting in thailand i mean you know and he basically he started you know his whole career in thailand practically dude crazy his foot was all swollen up like you got to be careful with your feet man oh yeah don't jump off cliffs you had an ingrown toenail my brothers were so bad when we when he was in high school i went with him his kept just they kept growing into it they had to take needles numb his fucking underneath his toenail and then yank his toenails well that's a problem and and then singe the top so the toenail doesn't

31:01grow back what so it just looks like the bottom of your his foot looks like the bottom of your so he doesn't have a nail there's no nails oh my god what but but but that was because they were in grown or there was there a fungus no he's born like that they kept growing in kept growing in so he has no nails now no nails that's creepy they took it and singed it's very creepy because because soft as shit though feels like koala's nose whoa my dad my dad's got some nails and under those nails toe jam about 78 years of fungus toe jam and earl oh those are some thick nails he's got nails i mean it about as thick as the lid of this table right here i'm like hey bro old dude's toes and they're in their ashy ass heels that are all cracking 14 shoe too by the way it's his head his foot is that you got a dick on him he's got a piece on him so i i opened up for brian in chicago and i do like this dirty bit we're in the back and his his mom and his dad i'm like oh it hit me right when they walked in i went oh fuck i just did that in front of brian's mom dad his two kids and his wife i was like notice i just went quiet yeah i was so i was like oh

32:07you were great he was funny though he was gonna do what you gotta do that's what i was like you guys decided to come you decided to come yeah i'm not changing it no i can't i gotta do my thing i apologize they loved it i was so embarrassed it's comedy don't get mad fuck now don't get mad it's great great shows your dad does shout out to chicago thalia hall thanks everybody for coming out sold out three shows yes so when you do this now um is this a a self -funded thing no this is a comedy dynamics uh so they're doing a lot of specials yeah and they did a great job i love the space it looked amazing who how many different specials have they done who's the who's the 270 that is incredible i know that's incredible yeah they might be the most ever yes who's done more i don't think anybody that's incredible brian bulkwise he's great and and uh but they did such a good job and i i'm i captured everything i wanted to so i'm pumped best thing i've ever done that's beautiful yeah chicago's a great fucking town to do that it's great god i love that place too i wasn't a fan until we did this such a history of where

33:06improv was invented i mean it's just a great town too it's like it's got a lot of different qualities it's got a bit of midwest politeness and it's got a big city mentality yep all together it's a weird spot yeah yeah it's weird it's a weird spot because it's like a little bit of both yeah great food yeah friendly us people yeah people not afraid to get fat that is correct they're not afraid to carb it up yeah carb central i mean they they looked at pizza when they went this is not unhealthy enough let's let's get deep dish let's make this shit about six inches bro we had no fucking pizza out there brian oh my god chicago's now america's rat capital chicago beats out new york city boston and washington dc as america's rat capital okay here's the problem with this that's a problem they don't know how many rats are out there they're just bullshitting they're not doing a detailed fucking analysis you don't know where they live yeah well how do you know how many how do they really know how many rats there are in new york are they just guessing i don't think so i think they can actually don't they

34:05can't they tell by like like my buddy had a what's that this is off of complaints get the fuck out of here that means chicago's complaining more it's chicago known for being bitches more than boston be scared of a fucking rodent come on bro who am i gonna call about a rat that's why la's not on there don't give a fuck dude my my buddy had a bought a building in new york and he had to clean it out oh in the basement jimmy burke told me my buddy steve shucker was coming out when they were killing them they had this they were poisoning them they were coming out with garbage bags the industrial size garbage bags full of rats and he did it for three days just it was a thousand tens of thousands 60 million rats some shit that documentary on netflix that documentary netflix is insane they're amazing a nice clean rat though i like man cutie pie yeah a little cutie that someone's got like a pet cool until they carry the bubonic plague i like the white ones with red eyes i think they decided that that's not true i think they decided that it was actually a fleas that were on the rats that carried that's right it

35:09was the fleas the fleas so you can't really blame the rats no but but the rats carried the fleas exactly right but that's like we carried the bubonic plague we're gonna blame humans for the plague yes you know we always look to like oh it's swine flu bro came from the pigs yes giant rat bigger than a dog near the plague that's a nutria oh my god that's a nutria that's a dude that's master splinter no it's a different kind of animal it's a nutria it's from west out there's still a giant fucking version of a rat yeah but they have a lot of those you know they're starting to see those in texas now in different uh they're they're spreading across the lower part of this country can you make pets they're kind of cool they're apparently they're good eating they're like a beaver yes right yes david tell had an episode of his tv show remember that tv show that we do we were trying yes oh i like that show they went nutria hunting really yeah they're fucking everywhere i think it was in louisiana yeah i don't quite remember a lot of islands but when those motherfuckers take hold once they're there it's

36:07real difficult to shake them off ronella actually had an episode of his podcast of about a place where they were um killing all the killing off the nutria and how they figured out how to do it really yeah it's a crazy thing that little animal brought it over here did you see crazy animals i saw your instagram joke how are how are the craziest animals in thailand you know what the most depressing thing was we went to one of those uh tiger sanctuary things oh were they on like nightclub or some shit they're drugged the fuck up for sure you know why how you can tell because people get in there well first of all because the the babies they'll let you touch the babies first there's like different packages you could package the baby package or the young lion package or the giant lion get that vip package i'll take baby i'll take baby the babies are adorable these little cute things but they're super like playful and active and big and then you get to like a little bigger and they seem to be behaving normal and they have a bunch of trainers in there with them and then you get to the big ones and the big

37:08ones are fucking doped out of their mind like they just gave them a bucket of heroin so they're just laying there like this like looking at you i believe it dude just they didn't none of them got up they just laid there and people lay next to them and hug them and take pictures god damn money dude but it's weird you can't let your kids and wife do that no right now no me neither fuck that the line's like oh fuck i feel better well the woman got we were there we didn't know what it was until we got there i i got super depressed like immediately but when we were there the the oldest we got to was like a nine month cat and that cat does not seem like it's drugged up at all how they're young they're pretty big man like a mastiff it'll fuck you up yeah still fucked up well they're giant cat you know still oh oh a hundred percent fuck you up dude but it's like a seven month eight month nine month cat and they're like big like a dog like a big dog yeah yeah enjoy that right like you ever see a mastiff at six months it's pretty pretty big yeah yeah cat's bigger god damn so this thing is bigger than that you know probably

38:08175 pounds something like that 200 pounds and it's just hanging around and they have all these trainers that are just like around the cat all the time we're like what in the fuck are we doing what are they gonna do if they get like you know what fuck this well they have guns and stuff they have like sticks with them they keep the kids the cats are listening to them for the most part but then it gets to an untenable size yeah and they're 500 pounds yeah and they have these things in these cages and then there was other ones that clearly weren't drugged up yeah like you pass by one cage and this one's like walking back and forth and pacing and looking at you and looking at everybody i'm like okay he's awake he's legit he just got off his meds that's not stuff yeah and these other ones are just dragged down like this like that's a bummer it is a drag was your wife bummed out too everybody was bummed out everybody was bummed out it's a drag man they found one that was uh selling tiger parts yeah i'm sure man i'm sure people are poor they're making money they're taking risks gallbladder and shit not good

39:05yeah the bear gallbladder is apparently such an issue that like some asian countries want bear gallbladder uh some people like it it's like some sort of a delicacy it's supposed to have some weird properties to it probably like probably like rhino horn type properties but it's so bad that in british columbia if you hunt bear like say if you hunt a black bear you're not allowed to open up the body cavity okay you have to take the meat off the outside you can't even go into the body cavity wow yeah they have a law against it because they don't want people harvesting bear gallbladders and they don't want people killing them yes look at bear bile does have medicinal uses but there are cruelty -free alternatives bear bile has been used in traditional asian medicine for thousands of years it contains high levels of good luck with this word urso deoxycholic acid known to be useful for treating liver and gallbladder conditions so it does have some medicinal value to it still but i had friends that were bear hunting and people were asking them for the gallbladders and like it's illegal

40:05he's like i just get it get it for my grandma you know she really likes it wow you're like get the fuck out of here man that's like it's it's a bad thing to have like if you get caught with it it's like you're good you're getting caught with something you're not it's not legal to possess a part of an animal that you're it's legal for you to kill it that's what's crazy stop and think about that yeah you can kill it you can kill the animal you just can't possess a part of its body yeah you're not allowed to get you're not allowed to open its cavity is there any other animal like that not that i know not really right it goes to waste you could use it but you can't use it because so many people want it that they made it illegal to have it wow because bile has always been used apparently it's one of the compounds or whatever it is that's good birth control just put it in your mouth nobody will want to have anything to do with you no but it's used for like uh medicine you know some medicines like anti -disinfectants really yeah bile was always a traditional medicine that actually worked i mean if you mixed it

41:01with how are the elephants down there though i love that was way different the elephant was a really positive experience because the elephants are in a rehab center where they actually reintroduce them back to the wild and we see the way these people first of all they're not contained they roam yeah not only do they roam they they there's no fence they live in the forest bro they come out of the forest yeah the people are all there with them like taking care of them feeding them they're constantly giving them sugarcane washing them cleaning them and when you're there like they they document they're trying to explain how all the money that you pay for to experience hanging out with these elephants for a day goes to rehabilitation and they talked about all the different it goes to food and they've reintroduced seven elephants into the wild through this one facility which is giant so they live wild so they're in thailand so there's a lot of elephants in thailand and so where while the where these people are the forest is like super dense man and the elephants just wander through the

42:01forest eating whatever the they want it is that's crazy to see man so they're kind of wild they're wild they're wild but they're not they're wild a lot of them came from zoos a lot of them came from circuses but they can be they look they're basically living like they would in the wild so it's not a giant stretch to take them and reintroduce them to a place as long as there's food they're fairly tame well they just train wheels so big dude yes they do whatever the fuck they want you grab their their fucking trunks are they soft no it's hard as a rock there's 600 muscles in their trunk alone and no bones 600 muscles just in the trunk their physical strength is so insane dude it's so hard you you when you're around them and you realize like oh god like people like you shouldn't the riding in was sketchy like it's sketchy because you worry what if they fall like one of them slipped a little bit and caught itself and one lady did fall off and uh she was okay but it's it's a possibility that you could fall off of a fucking elephant which you are you're 10 feet up yeah i mean these are some of them this one

43:05lady had a i had a female that i was riding this one lady and you're only riding it for like were you in a basket 20 minutes in a basket or just on it no you're just on it really holding onto a rope yeah they put a rope around uh the waist and you hold on to the rope it's like loosely around you're barely on man yeah you're barely on wow you know they just and if they wanted you off you're off instantly like you weigh nothing to them or if it was like oh my back itches game over the one i had was giant and the one this lady had next to me was literally 30 40 larger than hers it was so big and it was a male and when it trumpets when it just decided to like right next to everybody everybody went what the so loud you just realize what it is it was it was raining every day there it rains constantly this is a rainy season too and this elephant is moving through the mist in the forest and just eating whatever it wants with these giant white tusks and i'm like that is a crazy living being that is a crazy majestic animal it was dope have you seen the video where where there's a bull elephant hitting a mac truck oh yeah just oh

44:15where it trucks it over because it's just going after the babies they've had a bunch of them in india where they get tired of being abused and they just go nuts unbelievable but with this thing these animals were loved like you could really tell like first of all you're feeding them with your hands you know that we give them sugar cane you're so scared because this mouth is giant but you put it in there and they're just super gentlemen they don't snap at it and wait for you soft nothing yeah yeah yeah it's soft i mean it's it's not like a bone but the trunk is insanely powerful they just grab shit with that thing and rip it out of the roots such a cool animal snap things like logs and shit with their trunks and they say they can feel like what humans feel like when one dies they mourn shit of it yeah well they definitely have incredible memories because there was one video of an elephant meeting an elephant that had been separated from for 20 years and they met each other and they run to each other and they're bouncing around yeah they they recognize each other they're like this really calm

45:12weird animal that eats everything dude you realize like one of the things i was thinking i was like imagine if you had one of these that lived in your yard you would have no yard no and this is the problem that people have in africa yeah okay the i'm a giant fan of elephants but if you're a poor farmer and you live in this wipe out your crop yeah they just go right through your crops you can't do anything about it you're starving you have children imagine you i know you have your your little boy yeah your little boy's gonna go hungry now because these elephants just want to eat whatever the they don't understand they're killing them all this we go on elephant hunting well i love an elephant this is the argument for controlling some of the population because we always think we we say oh elephants are endangered well they definitely are in some places but in other places in certain areas they have large populations you got to realize how big africa is i mean if you ever see like the map where they take america and they put it inside of africa and they put asia inside of africa no let me see that

46:11i've not seen that oh my god africa's giant but do we have to kill them can't we redirect these it's a lot of money to do that's the problem the real problem is the money because you you could maybe could grab them and capture them and move them good luck moving yeah just maybe but that's how they do it when they put them in a zoo i mean there has to be some capture you go very short distance with that and you have to tranquilize it yeah they're so big we got that we got the cloth underneath we're gonna look at that look how big that's not true yes it is that is bro africa africa is so big dude is that true yep it has all of china in it all of the united states yep yep come on india i'm amazed at that all of japan all spain dude that's nuts dude all of italy china dude does it have japan in it did i make that yeah japan's over no i made it up oh japan's right there yeah japan's at the bottom dude so that's real that's that's insane man that's so big so okay so imagine the united states imagine if we are over here in uh california and we're like yeah i don't see any fucking elephants meanwhile in new york they're

47:18just getting trampled to death through manhattan and we're like don't kill the elephants bro they're nowhere it's like two look around calabasas yeah you don't see a single fucking elephant man don't be an asshole meanwhile your granny's getting stomped to death everywhere but there's very little continuous there's very little continuous habitat for the migrations apparently well yeah that's broken up i think there's a lot of problems with with you know the places where they're underpopulated the places where they're overpopulated it's just it's you know it's just it's a crazy amazing animal it would be really nice if people could figure out a way to live in peace with it because it is a they were they were saying any animal to be around they were saying how uh i was watching this on animal player some shit but you know how they take out the bull elephants and people are cool with it like oh because you know they kill the the smaller ones or they fuck things up they're saying the problem with that with elephants is those older ones know the path to water and where to go and when

48:15you kill the older ones the other ones don't know where the they also teach the younger ones how to behave so so they watch their like pass once you take out the bull and they're they're fucked because they're saying the older ones have so much knowledge to drop on these little bastards we have certain animals that we get super mad if someone kills an elephant is one of them and a giraffe is another one fuck yeah because they're not you know they're not they're not predators you know what i read about that giraffe that that lady killed and she got in trouble here's the problem it was a giant old 18 year old giraffe it was killing young males killed three young males they were gonna have to kill it anyway yep so that's how they get a person like that to do it you know the only other option is they could take it and put it in some sort of a zoo but it was a non -viable male and when non -viable males are around young males apparently they kill them they also don't mention that that that revenue she paid you pay a lot of money to kill fifty thousand yeah you pay a lot that revenue goes back into the

49:06community there and i guess there's no such thing as a black giraffe everyone's like that's a black draft like no well when they get older they get darker yeah but it's really rare that an animal in the wild gets to 18 years old he was big huge but again when you kill off that big male he had a lot of knowledge to drop on these other little dumb he wasn't dropping any knowledge he's killing them see they're different that's that's the reason why that cory nolton i think that was his name um he got in trouble for shooting that rhino he paid 250 000 to shoot a rhino it was more than that right it was it was they they were gonna have to kill it because it had killed a male and it killed a female killed a male breeding her and it killed a young no killed him uh a female breeding her and it killed the young man this thing was so old he paid i think 391 000 something crazy like that is he just scrooge mcduck rich he wants to kill a person he's an oil family he's balling and he wanted to kill the rhino that bad is that his name he's a hunter yeah i've i talked to him we had him on the podcast really smart guy like not not

50:06what you think when you think of a guy who you know does something like that but is nature not going to take care of itself with these rhinos and the drafts they're so endangered because the rhinos are the rhinos are so in danger that it's very dangerous to just let nature play its course out because animals have gone extinct and you know if you really go over the the list of animals that have been extinct just while we've been alive you don't think about it but there's been a lot and then if you look over the course of human history fuck man a lot of animals have gone extinct while we've been alive they're not living in a natural habitat anyway their their habitat has been so with to begin with and there's so few back in the day yes nature would have found its way but when you have the thing is this guy's 300 grand or whatever it is that's going to go directly into keeping those other ones alive they're going to have money for the scientists they're going to have money for anti -poaching efforts yeah it's just it seems counterintuitive i know it seems your natural instinct when they post on

51:01the gram like oh just fucking kill this black draft like goddamn bitch right and why would you why would you want to shoot a giraffe yeah why would you want to shoot a rhino i did i get it man it's uh but it's it's gotta look into it though it's more complicated than you think it is yeah you know you know what i'm suspect of you know those poachers that were killed by those lions yeah i don't think that happened i think they got shot you're a conspiracy guy i think they got shot by poachers and the poachers like it's a lot easier just to say that they got eaten by lions well i will tell you as a fact i know people that have gone over there to hunt and they just shoot at poachers just shoot at them yeah and obviously we're talking about africa it's in a enormous enormous place wild west i mean it might not you know for a fact there are certain hunters that go there and kill poachers it's entirely possible that that happens so hunting but i'm saying that the people that are the professionals that work on those giant ranches like there's a lot of these private hunting ranches they're like hundreds of

52:02thousands of acres even and they're all fenced in and people get inside and they poach what does that mean it means they're trying to eat right you know it means they're starving a lot of times and they're trying to do whatever the fuck they can to make money whether they can make money by chopping off a rhino horn or they make money by selling meat from some antelope that they shot they weren't supposed to shoot but my what i'm my point is that people have told me that they know of these people over there shooting at poachers just shooting at them like you would shoot at a rat or a coyote or something that was trying to eat your chickens or something then of course you shoot them the lines didn't come along with yeah you might be right you might be right killed what it feels like my friend my friend who was over there said he couldn't believe it that they just will shoot at poachers damn yeah and he said poachers will shoot at you too i was gonna say poachers know this right they're also part of some of them are organized gangs and man you know it's one of those things you're like what would you do

52:56if you were in that village you'd be in that fucking organized gang too and probably stay out of africa well if you're born there i'm saying us well how about malaria which has killed half of the people that have ever died ever you have to get all those shots before you go my wife's doing that right now she's going to kenya oh yeah first class first class safari i can't make it i've got to go to china beijing there's no money i don't know which one's worse yo here's the thing about china we had to stop in in china they have a different sense of personal space like as far as like getting in between you in a line they don't give a f**k you're walking through a thing and then there's like a merging thing there's no merging son they're going to go right into your kids right into you your wife that's why they drive like that dude it is it's crazy but they're not they're not rude it's just a different way because there's so many people exactly they have to figure it out exactly there's a billion they're not they're not impolite people but they get misconstrued as being impolite because we're not used

53:53to that navigating that kind of numbers like they are it's crazy to see though man watch them even if you're just watching them do it with other people just walk right in front of people and smush into each other if you do that here though you'd be like what the f**k man get mad at you well because i when i went to australia a lot of uh chinese and japanese and koreans were on holiday in australia and i was with chin who's korean my producer and they kept they were super we'd be in line they'd bump into me or something i'm like dude what the f**k he's like no no they're not being disrespectful it's literally just how that's how they that's how they grew up they just got to figure it out stupid numbers of people where you get used to people bumping into each other they don't move out of your way there's none of that yeah india is kind of similar people stack behind you really closely this is the i mean like this is the trend right the argument is that you get too many people and then the people lose their value because they become a hindrance like i was thinking that yesterday on the i was at the 405 at

54:46six o 'clock yesterday you've been there before right it is a crazy thing to experience because i'm going to get into it after this but yeah it also makes you think like if there was an end of the world type scenario and you were trying to get back to your family in la you got zero chance correct you're gonna you're gonna walk way quicker the 20 miles to your house i see what you're talking you want to get a helicopter bro bill burr he has one he flies on around well he doesn't have his own but he took lessons bill knows how to fly bill's a helicopter he flies all the time right yeah all the time he flew down to san diego for a gig and flew back really that's insane that's cool yeah that's probably took him 20 minutes i flew from san diego to la don't ask me how and why but my plane had to stop over in san diego 26 minutes that's a hilarious flight that's a hilarious flight 26 hours we'll be we'll be in the drive about 26 hours if you hit that traffic it's six hours you got to plan that motherfucker correct dude i was at the comedy store at la jolla at a thursday night show eight o 'clock i was like oh dude if i

55:44leave by two we got this all day i got there right at eight really right it took you six hours there's accents all up and down oh my god right when you get into san diego accident you know what's crazy bro orange county orange county has so many people in it's like a little china it's gorgeous though it's okay it's beautiful but it's so crazy you go there and like just the density of people in orange county like wait a minute how many people are here like this is a crazy spot but then there's some dope spots like laguna nigel oh yeah how about chicago to go 11 miles took us an hour and a half chicago worst traffic i've ever seen in my life no dude it can't be worse than going through orange county at five o 'clock it's fucking bad i asked the the uber i said it does i said is it always like this and they said it's like this because of the construction right now look at that in 2015 3 .17 million people just in orange county and that does not include mexicans yeah it just does not they don't know they don't have a fucking clue and when i say mexicans i should say people we'll let you in you're here all right

56:49right that's that's what they should say hey you're here you get in but the point is all these uh these numbers are inflated like how many more illegal aliens are here on top of that i could live in orange county if i'd have to work in la i'd live in orange county what do you think i would i would live there all day i would live there all day i love newport the best what do you think the numbers are i don't know how many people how many illegal aliens do you think are in just i just say orange county i wouldn't know three million okay 3 .17 million people how many people do you think are illegal aliens 67 million like i feel like it's one of those numbers like if they're undocumented they're undocumented like how are you guessing it fluctuates probably i don't want to compare them to the rat study it's a disrespectful thing i just mean in terms of a study do we know you're not actually monitoring like how do you how the fuck do you know we know how many they think or they estimate sneak across every year yes good question i think they do do we have any idea jamie because then we could i have no fucking

57:47clue it is dark you imagine if you were living in some shit country and you realize that you could actually get a great job if you just get across the river it's such a bummer yeah it's so heartbreaking what a shit we gotta but meanwhile there's some sweet spots down there like why don't we gentrify mexico well that's the thing mexico city's getting there yeah mexico city's uh economy's doing a pair mexico's economy's doing pretty well from what i hear but this you got nicaragua this is in this is in 2014 so triple it it's 2000 2 million 350 000 just in southern california look at delaware just in california unauthor but that's the entire state of california that's off by a factor of 10 right 2 .3 million orange county yeah there's no way they know they don't know man if they knew they would ship a lot of the economy though they make up a lot of saying 11 million total about agricultural economy and everything else man we we need those right now they're entrenched it's heartbreaking when they have to the pass the the rivers and the body of water and it's like kids and and women they die and

58:50the they're taken with the tides it's heartbreaking yeah i mean and they got to put together you know the average is three thousand dollars yeah three thousand dollars to them they come from nothing so they save all this money it's per person yeah so you got kids you got the family they get robbed so you get together they get robbed they go they get robbed all their shit and then some of it's fake they don't know who to deal with well i'm sure you've seen videos of syrian refugees washing up on shore i can't handle it it's horrible you gotta you know and it's so easy such a tragedy it's so easy to to like look at them and they speak a different language they follow a different religion it's so easy to not syrians are so cosmopolitan what the fuck are we doing not for you you're a compassionate person syrians are so cosmopolitan too that syrians were not religious syrians were entrepreneurs i mean damascus was a huge city i mean it's a beautiful place very very cosmopolitan basically european but not to let them in because we're scared that you know the the tear stuff like that that's like

59:50not letting italians in because the mafia yeah like it's such a small fucking percentage it's not necessarily but not this you know i'm saying though like that to assume that all mexicans are in the cartel yeah or all all italians are in the mafia it's fucking insane it's a similar it's a similar yeah but it's especially like the the thing the difference between syrians and mexicans is mexicans a lot of people would accept them easier because they they practice the same religion like if you found a guy who was a mexican businessman in mexico city and he speaks english and spanish and his children are well educated and he wanted to move next door to you we're more familiar with santa monica you'd be pumped you're like he's a good guy yeah he came over from mexico super nice guy makes his own wine you know you know what i mean but but if a guy does it's also mexican food is part of the american fabric 100 you know what i mean so we we're not it's threatened there are neighbors there's a history what are you threatened well people are threatened by muslims people are threatened with well

60:47they're threatened by radical islamic terrorists they're threatened by the idea of people trying to be like some manchurian candidate and get into office a lot of these school the school shoot the mass shooters a lot of them are white too man most of them are white yeah it's fucking crazy well do you remember when people were absolutely convinced that uh obama was somehow some sort of a mexican plant or excuse me uh islamic plant and that he was a manchurian candidate and he's gonna get into office well trump said he was from kenya that was trump was a birther people forgot about that he had to show his birth yeah yeah but in he might have actually believed that but it also might have been that trump liked fucking with obama because obama liked fucking with trump true and that's one of the things i get that press corps dinner where he got up and said here's one thing that i am that you'll never be his president united states and he got this giant laugh and seth myers roasted him too yeah and then he was like what he's like oh really oh that's he doing it that's cute guess what that's why i'm

61:47the fucking president but he that so when he said something about obama it more than likely was because of a personal feud and less likely that he actually thought obama was from kenya he was probably fucking with him back yeah yeah i agree 100 yeah because he's a powerful guy and if they treat him like he's not a powerful guy he's like oh really his resources too so he's like what this this is my problem with anti -trump like when when people go too far with it and it's not that he's not doing terrible things it's not that he's not like just the idea that he lies all the time you have to check him on his lies you have to figure out what's the truth what's it's very dangerous but separating the immigrants my issue has nothing to do with that my issue has to do with it's a terrible way to interact with someone whose ideas you don't like because it just makes the people that support him more aggressive everybody gets more aggressive you get more aggressive at them and you're like this is what we're going to do we're going to shout them down we're going to stop them all from speaking we're going to

62:44we're going to show up at their their restaurants and yell at them you're just creating more conflict this is helping this is not helping because they're going to bolster their resources you're not persuading build up their defenses no you're not persuasion people yeah and you're going to make people arm themselves and you're going to make people escalate their rhetoric and it's going to escalate on both sides and it's also evidence that you're unhinged so they can point to the fact that they're right because you're harassing them in the parking lot of a restaurant and you won't let them get to their car without you yelling at them they're they're now saying you're unhinged and there's evidence to prove that they've got a point you're like no no no it's a this is a never trump movement we're a part of the movement and we got together you're harassing a person and you're making them angry and they're going to harass liberals now and now we have this giant conflict instead of just communicating about important issues instead of just like trying to figure out how we all get along

63:33nothing how to solve problems how to solve problems i mean right you know you're digging your heels into one team or the other you got to try to solve problems but it's way easier persuasion is the hardest thing punishment destruction is way easier here's the thing if they get him out of office here's the thing if they do succeed in getting him out of office they'll be even more emboldened but my point is they'll be even more emboldened that this is a correct way to behave yes i don't think it necessarily is i i think all of the things that are coming out that are like in whether it's i don't understand the russian stuff i've tried to go over it i i feel like if there was like if there was clear enough evidence that he had committed a crime they would have already done something he'd be out yeah there's too much resource and time going into that but there's many indictments so there's other people around him that have done something that was illegal this is this seems to be very clear right or at least have been accused so where it goes and far like let that play out but this that is a very

64:28different thing than all of the the like the the hatred and the fucking going after people it's like you have to figure out where where the the line gets drawn where you're causing internal conflict that can literally lead to civil war but but it's trickled down into our economy everyone's lives now like you're on twitter or entertainment or uh with the the me too movement like it's trickled it's a trickle down effect well you know george washington said one of the most important uh qualities for a society to have is civility and what does civility mean the founding fathers did not agree on a lot of stuff i mean madison didn't agree with with uh you know hamilton and and and uh and jefferson they they were very much at odds about how to go forward with this republic but they talked it out they compromised nobody nobody got violent besides aaron burr and fucking the hamilton leader but for the most part they compromised they talked and george washington said civility the ability to listen to the other side even when you don't agree with them and put your ideas together that's how you

65:31move things forward we just don't have that anymore yeah i just don't have it i think that's a really good point and that's what bothers me the most about this is not not that they're not correct that there's some real problems it's the way everybody's going about it that makes me say like do you understand what happens when you yell at people like you can't just push people there's there's people that don't understand violent consequences there's people that don't understand conflict and they don't know how to mitigate it and they don't know how to like be calm and how to figure their way through a situation there's dangerous levels of of aggression that get reached when you have like antifa feuding with these people that are trying to do some sort of a speech somewhere and there's the supporters of the speech and then there's antifa and everybody's getting together and screaming and there's fire and bike locks and people beating the shit out of each other all this stuff there's there's plenty of videos of this happening this this doesn't have to end here okay this wasn't

66:23here five years ago understand this that this could escalate in five years to be significantly worse than it is now and me as a person who i'm i don't want violence around me i i see that shit coming and i go oh these guys are fighting let's get the out of here you don't want to go get close to them and hope you catch a straight bullet now especially yeah the problem is that that comes in five ten years like it is the problem that conflict comes to you yes i mean the problem is that one you know it's good it's a matter of time it's unnecessary it's not how we should communicate with each other you know and i think there's also people that are emboldened by movements right they get a they become a part of a movement and then they want to do something to commit to that movement it's very similar to joining a fucking militia it's very similar to joining a resistance media makes it easier too social media has made it easier to find your tribe surround yourself with people who see the world exactly like you do and organize and attack the other side you know they say with social media that's what makes

67:19isis kind of so yeah so violent and also so scary is because social media the first ones kind of mastered social media yeah my bigger worry is also the fact that people can't even agree on the validity of their sources so if i say well you know uh according to the united nations or the bureau of labor and statistics and you go that's bullshit so now i can't even get off the ground because there's too much info right so so i'm i'm going through i'm if i go to mainstream sources you go that's mainstream and that's bullshit and they're bought off by corporations they have an agenda i can't even have an argument right well here's something that i'm trying to get better at and i've worked on it a lot i try really hard to not be connected to whatever i believe in and i try to not try to win a conversation those are two very important things so when you're talking minded joe yes but i'm trying harder than i've ever tried in my life and i've been on a path trying to do this for years now and getting better at it because of just listening to podcasts listen and having podcasts and having conflicts with

68:22people and trying to figure out why i had those conflicts and how much of it was my fault how much of it could have prevented how much of i could have done a better job as a host or as a person who's trying to relay the information and through time i have tried my hardest and it's something i concentrate on all the time to not be connected to my ideas to argue them if i feel like there's merit but argue the merit not argue my connection your emotional connection exactly so when someone does that i get i get exhausted now because i i know where it's going like we're going to waste a lot of time with this because you're not willing to even think about the possibility to have an open conversation the last podcast with jordan peterson i said do you feel like you're winning this debate because at this point he'd become so famous and he said i don't want to win this because i'm going to create resentful people who feel like resentful losers that's not yes that's not the point the point is to figure out a way to present ideas so that they are accessible to the people whose minds i'm trying to change this

69:19is exactly what he said about trump supporters he said if you disagree with trump supporters don't insult them don't make them feel like they're losers exactly because no that doesn't make anybody feel good and you what how do you think it's also not true he also said how do you think they're going to react to that you think they're just going to give in to you and he's a clinical psychologist so he understands how he understands how human brains work we do that immediately what do we say about trump supporters a lot of people this i really they go they're racists they're um they're they're sexist transphobic they're they're mexican haters and all this stuff whereas maybe the left presented an alternative that was unacceptable to them they didn't like this con man or this guy was an egotist but they were like let's give it a shot right i have 300 bucks in the bank i got no other options there's also that give people the benefit of the doubt most people are not assholes yeah unquestionably there's there's both of those things and there's some people that are sure that's part of the

70:09problem is that you you run into enough of those those hurt your feelings and you think oh all trump supporters are assholes because they're the minority though right but that's negative it's all humans i feel like it's all negativity bias too it is also something where our brains we gravitate towards if i get caught on the left hook yeah i'm not gonna let's say on instagram if you have a thousand comments and 900 of them are positive you'll see the one negative no if you have 900 and you have a hundred that are negative you're fucked super fun you're gonna read a hundred negative like you'll have a million that's why i don't think about how amazing that is that you have 90 positive in this crazy world oh i know everything's all good right so if you have but your mind looks like you know your mind goes towards the negative yeah but what i'm saying is that the numbers as they expand they get more and more ridiculous so if you have a podcast the podcast gets a million downloads and you get a hundred thousand negative comments and 900 000 positive like oh have you looked at this is exhausting

71:07have you looked at how how many people alcohol kills versus guns for example oh yeah you know what i'm saying i mean but nobody's talking about banning alcohol you could really go into all these details right there well sometimes the severity of because of obesity shortened lives because of poor diet kills way more people than terrorism it kills a lot of fucking people and then there's also shit that happens like we were talking about this recently about chicago the violence in chicago the numbers are so crazy and no one seems to be flinching like if those numbers were in beverly hills if beverly hills not the south side of chicago if beverly hills had a thousand people killed their shot in a year we'd be like what in the fuck are you talking about because we accept it we're like oh that's chicago it's fucking crazy it's over there it becomes accustomed to it yes if a girl accuses charlie sheen of like spitting on her and doing coke off her asshole you're like yeah that's what he does of course that's what he does so if you hear oh there's violence in chicago like yep that's what they do

72:06hearing about that west side yeah south side we just like we like the map to be discernible okay i know what this is i know what that is right we'll go keep it static especially like though if it's something horrific like there's a serial serial killers we freak the fuck out everybody's knocking my doors that's scary that way but there are also things that scare the fuck out of you and that's where like i will not i will not go into the ocean and swim where i can't touch the ground just don't do that and it's stupid it's ridiculous smart move fuck that place especially the pacific with great whites malibu overrun overrun with great whites correct sir san francisco is a fucking breeding ground right this guy fucking this guy this guy this guy in marina del rey he's he's swimming and he's got his hands like tucked to the side like a seal and he's going like this he's diving in and i'm like bro you you are sealing out you look like a giant smooth delicious seal right now is that what you're saying yeah i mean if you're if there's one badass way to go that's pretty sick yeah i'm making cnn for sure

73:11yeah but they bite brazil got his dick bitten off no yep right through the crotch right the crotch the dick the balls asshole died bled out on the beach he bled out after the shark bit his dick i'll take the i'll take that god hey um eat me in half yeah i gotta pee i did a podcast right you gotta be jeff garland i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry this bitch just came the fighter and the kid when it comes back we're going to talk about actual fights all right there's a lot nice hold please holding please i gotta pee too but i'm gonna leave you by yourself i'll go after you guys i'll just talk about the constitution guys um if i could have a minute of your time you know the history of the ottoman empire is very interesting actually we have to go all the way back though can you imagine you just started fucking reading out of a book once you uh plug your dates plug my days is there anything worse when someone does that now that joe's gone hey uh first week austin first week of august you will be there right um now that you're taking a break from the road you should come i mean surprise some people maybe pick

74:17a city i'd do that come out and just open for you what about vancouver one night when is that september 13th if i'm not shooting my it's a thursday my two tv shows but i thought you were shooting in uh october i'm so talented i forget i'm shooting uh i'm shooting some of the goldbergs i think august september the last season of goldbergs i believe so and then i go and then i think we start shooting i shoot one episode of school in august and the rest in october why just one did you like a pilot i don't know yeah no but no just you're the way they do the schedule they want to figure it out yeah yeah writing and stuff writing and then when do you think you go back on the road for stand -up i'll get restless i know it'll happen right now i haven't thought about it you that's the thing like i'll like i'll go on whatever i'll be gone for every weekend of the month yeah i'm like i need a break yeah and i get one weekend off like i get back on the road like you miss it it's beautiful you miss it there's nothing like sometimes yeah sometimes it's beautiful yeah sometimes sometimes it can be you can be in a city and

75:14it's terrible but i just sometimes it can be a little rough yeah i was talking to calen because well you're kind of well you'll be doing the same thing because count shot especially right so now he's gonna take a break from the road to shooting a show yeah and i was saying there's sometimes like a month going this month coming up i'm on the road every weekend that's rough it's rough but and then i'm like god i need a break and then i get a break i have like a week or two off i'm like i need to get back on the road like it's weird you miss it this is my first break in 12 years yeah but you two weeks but when you were let's say at my level in comedy you were grinding like a mother right constantly yeah yeah yeah you gotta gotta do what you gotta do in the moment you know when you're you're on that stage where you're just trying to get those reps in too but but i'm just saying like that you missed the like i'm like god i need a fucking break this road man hotels and restaurants i need a fucking break and i get back i'm like i need to get back out it's like this weird love hate relationship i did it for 12 years this is

76:03the first time i've had a break and i haven't thought about it at all but it'll hit me and i'll start to freak yeah you get tired you're tired of waking up in hotel rooms tired of flying it's lonely yeah it's sad it's hard on your body i hate being out of my routine yeah that's what i hate most right your home routine yeah i hate it yeah i don't like that either but there's no alternative if you want to do big shows you want to go on the road you want to i'll never stop yeah you also i don't think there's an alternative in terms of like creating material i think you need a bunch of different kind you need philly you need boston you need florida you need miami too occasionally you need to be like oh there's some people that just don't pay attention and the time alone sometimes like just you know you gotta you gotta fill that day but i fucking love it because i'm just thinking and stuff dude you ever pull a fucking calf muscle oh it's the most annoying muscle to pull because it doesn't heal because you're always on it takes a while yeah oh it's such a fucking cunt kicking elephants no no about two months

76:57ago i heard it and it's never gotten better from running yeah yeah now i gotta piss out my big dick i'll be right back it's weird you can still run yeah yeah i can still run um but it's just i feel it i think it's interesting that that and i wonder what the science is behind it that that i have a recurring injury right so i'll pull my lower back on my right side or i'll pull my neck there's a neck muscle from wrestling probably from years ago where i at sometimes sometimes i'll do something whether it's play tennis or box or whatever and i'm like oh fuck i'm done but it's always the same side yeah i'm done for a week yeah i bet uh is that scar tissue thing i bet it's a mobility thing i bet that's one of the things and i bet you probably at some point in time had a bulging disc and it's probably still a little fucked up and you've never got an mri on it so you don't really know right that's interesting and i think um that's one of the areas that a lot of people don't strengthen is their spine you know i've spent a lot of time over the last few years using a bunch of different exercises and machines just

77:58specifically to strengthen my spine and my core after having some bulging back issues i've been doing that i cured my lower back because of lauren landau and my buddy leo who helped me uh kind of because my lower back hurt for 20 years and they give me just some exercises i do every day and they're mostly strengthening they're not stretching they're strengthening your glutes and stuff i got no problems with my lower back i mean i cured my lower back which is kind of a miracle to consider that i did it later on in my life but my neck is you know and i do it i do neck exercises now you got to try this iron neck thing that i have out here i will it's the fucking best really yeah you put a halo on your head you screw it on you like pull it on and then you pump it like a reebok pump and it like fits tight to your head and then you got a bungee cord that's attached to it that's 50 pounds and you back up with this thing and then you do rotations like wow really really good phenomenal but the most important thing is that it's not dangerous and it's strengthening your neck in in a way where you're giving it a full

78:56range of motion i want to i want to buy one look next don't get worked out that much your lower back doesn't get worked out that much you got to think like all the other things are getting all these loads so when when you put a load on the lower back and it's not strong enough that's when things go go out yeah if you strengthen it you can prevent a lot of that stuff from happening right like yoga is great for that yoga is great for the back great for the spine it's like one of those things you realize when you're doing it like oh these are muscles that i hardly ever work like when you do triangle pose exactly hardly ever work that you're on yourself my jeans like the splash bro don't worry about it bro it's my it's just piss it's a cute outfit it's just pp baby it's kind of very colorful yeah you're very hippie today it's very left wing it's back it's back it's back i didn't know yeah where you i'm sure you got some tight i should no i do have a fanny pack sean i got a sean o'malley shirt oh yeah that tie -dye re -buck one i've won that one that was sick sugar sean in the house baby how about uh freaking nick

79:52newell lost to get into the contenders i read that i did not have a chance to i didn't see it either no i did i don't watch the contenders series but i saw that uh yeah which is a bummer i'm rooting for that guy hopefully well it's interesting that was the big story was that he lost not that the other guy won like i kept reading that he lost i didn't read that the other guy won i don't even know who the other guy is me neither but i heard he's a badass but it's like all right how crazy is that who who is he crazy but it's like you beat the guy with one arm but let's give the guy's name my my thought was like how much bigger can you be with the rest of your body if you're like how much how many pounds is the arm it's just his forearm right what'd you say james alex munoz alex munoz shout out to a little razor blade man i heard it's a tough fight but nick newell's a badass yeah i think he belongs in the ufc i i don't think the contenders series is right for him well here's the thing a lot of the guys that are in the contenders series contenders series is excellent and a lot of guys that are in that series are going to wind

80:46up in the ufc anyway if you lose to one of them it doesn't mean that you're not good it means there's a lot the talent level is very high right now i would say i would say contenders series better than tough way better entertainment wise and i'm close contenders kills it it's way better talent wise now i got tired oh tough got tired the style of the style of coaching and all the reality parts i can't believe they're doing it again but i think they have to contractually with kelvin and uh whitaker yeah i mean it's still the fights are worth watching it's still worth getting some people some people like that reality tv some people still watch big brother bro they love it i see people tweeting about big brother i'm like what are you doing yeah the ratings i mean very few people are watching tough these days the ratings are so bad what are the ratings there's seven people that watch seven bro and they also buy how many of them are in hospitals they have to watch it no i just think you know with with the contenders it's obviously making this push like that's where you're getting your new young

81:43talent yeah i think that's that's what i want to see me too i don't want to see all the reality i don't need them you know but the thing is the people that like reality shows like it because it allows you to have the reality show the ratings would beg to differ well because the contenders series is kicking ass tough is not yeah that's a good i'm just saying bro yeah that's a good point i think that there's some people that don't even know what's on the air anymore when the fuck do you hear about an ad for the that show well even the ufc's like we're good we're not putting any marketing in that we owe this last season just put two fucking guys who will agree to do it then but you see how much but how much promotion you see for dana white's contenders series yeah that bitch all over yeah ratings are way better that's way better yeah they're well it's just they're out it's what people want to see is fights they're going through a divorce with fox and they're like all right well we're just gonna live here till december then we'll take our stuff get the fuck out it's weird right you can keep the dogs and

82:37then you know we'll figure it out it's weird it's so weird and even fox is like posting stuff to the wwe because they're coming over that's so funny so they're flexing with their new side piece it's so funny it's but it's how many carryover audience members are there from uh ufc to wwe cross i don't yeah i don't know fox doesn't give a fuck because they what they know for sure is you can control the narrative wwe on those friday night or wednesday night smackdowns whatever the fuck they call it bring in three million viewers every single night and it's going to be chaos and but they and they can control the ratings they can control the superstars and control everyone's destiny they know that fan base brings that no matter what ufc is not that right yeah so it's if you're fox it's kind of smart yeah it is smart it's it works for both parties fox and espn look at if you're just trying to make money it's the way to go yeah if you're fox that's what i care about right it's the way to go they're just trying to make money i think the the thing about the contender series though is that it's a fight pass

83:36thing right so it's all just good for the ufc like when people are watching it yeah but also how many people are seeing that i don't know how many people watch it i think fight passes 200 to 300 thousand subscribers and tuesday night contender series is only on fight pass is that correct yeah do they release it ever on youtube that might not be a bad idea highlights they blast out and stuff i don't know but um yeah i don't know yeah it's that's a that whole world of up and coming talent has gotten so different the levels gotten significantly higher i see guys coming into the ufc for the first time and i'm watching them fight i'm like wow this guy's fighting like he's been here for five years i see i see yes and no joy some of it i look at you holy how many fights he have and they're like he has eight like and he's that good jesus and then sometimes like you look at this germany card which lasted seven hours which a whole nother topic we should discuss but when you in the i look at some and you the difference between like say a robert whittaker versus yo romero versus you know some different cards

84:39where it's an opening main card fight the the the talent pool sometimes is so different well that's just could be cards you know sometimes you get a card in the talent pool and that card is just not the highest level and then you get other cards where like you you don't even know who the fighters are and the talent's really high it's insanely high my point is when you watch other main professional sports you don't you don't get that no i'm saying no but you also don't get the volume think about the volume of boxing matches versus the volume of ufc cards it's not even close the number of fights that people are paying attention to every card has 11 to 13 fights and i think that's our problem it well the problem is it's popular it's popular with people that want to do it these young badasses that want to prove they're the best there's a lot of them you say you say it's popular as far as contestants people signing people signing up because what's not popular is people tuning into all these fights no no you have the issue you you have to make it special right but do you because here's the thing even

85:38if you just have a small number that are tuning in every week say if you have fights every week and 300 000 people watch like oh this is a commercial disaster you still are building 300 000 people and it's going to be a different 300 000 people quite possibly next week at least some of them are at least some of them are no way you're going to have different narratives you have different fighters you shine and then they're going to go off into pay -per -view events they're going to go off into big espn events they're going to become household names and that's where the money is going to be made and so the argument is the more fights you have even if some fights aren't doing well you are still allowing a really high level of competition these fucking assassins merge through the top these darren tills and these yoel romero's and all these fucking killers come to these borracina the fucking eraser versus yoel romero amazing oh my who's paul acosta oh he's a killer first team all body first team all body both guys crazy muscularity i'm not mad at double body i mean extreme superheroes but to

86:39your point back to your point where you're saturation the saturation in the market and you're hoping that these superstars come out there that's not working well here's the thing there's a cycle and i think there's a cycle the same way there's a cycle of predators and prey do you know if they have like snowshoe hairs and links there's a cycle where the snowshoe hairs get to a very high number and the links eat them all and then the links get to a very high number and they run out of snowshoe hairs and then the links drop down again and the snowshoe hairs come back up this is this is a natural cycle and you're saying the cycle is going to be these like a conor mcgregor or ronda rousey or brock glensler there's always they're going to come there's always someone there's always someone who rises who's the biggest draw right now in the ufc connor for sure there's not even a close second besides besides besides him george st pierre if he wants to fight george st pierre especially just winning be connor brock george those are your three cash yeah brock would not beat connor at this stage no no

87:34i'm saying it's the ufc those are one two three right but if the ufc was around i mean if we were at the stage where brock was like say before he beat frank mere like when when when he was the heavyweight champion when brock was just smashing he was a he could sell what was like the highest pay -per -view with brock in it i think it was like two million the third highest connor and nate's first yeah so it's it's in that level and the ufc wasn't as popular then i don't think as it is now but they they did the wwe he had the wwe fan base crossover but what's interesting too a lot of people don't you know there's a reason why but the demand for nate diaz too because remember he's part of the biggest pay -per -view of all time with connor mcgregor so nate diaz is in that tier too you can go connor brock ronda nate's four or five in that see it's number two ufc 100 brock lesnar versus frank mere one million six hundred thousand buys that's a lot it's only fifty thousand different than nate diaz versus connor mcgregor which is number one that's pretty crazy those numbers are crazy so um and then connor

88:37mcgregor nate diaz connor has one two three four five misha tayton that is amazing well it's ufc 200 so you had that brock lesnar yeah so brock has a shit brock has one two three out of the top seven yeah and ron there comes in at number eight they're in their own they're in their own stratosphere right everybody else so is nate diaz like people want you know they don't toss them in there nate's right there he has number one number three that amanda nunez ronda rousey got a million million one hundred thousand uh nate diaz that's arguably because he was fighting conor mcgregor right well and that's why i think nate hasn't taken a fight because that's the the that trilogy is the biggest you know one of the biggest that hasn't yeah i mean it is the biggest it's the biggest if con here's the thing if connor comes back and decides to fight khabib that's a fight where it's going to be a gigantic enormous biggest pay -per -view of all time i think that's the biggest if they decide to do it in russia fucking insane and i'll be watching from here with you guys we're doing a campaign for that you're not

89:39going to russia i'm not going to russia no and that'll be our biggest companion ever by the way data is polvia's like all right dude we're gonna do some big things in russia i'd really like you to come like good luck yeah yeah the fuck out of here man i ain't going to russia cut to me fur around my face full eskimo oh you probably love it in russia it's probably amazing man yeah the problem is that trip that trip can suck it's a long it's a long hard pass i'd rather be here with you guys i'd rather be here with you guys anyway it's more fun connor fighting could be i really like being there live don't get me wrong i love it i love the job but i'm gonna be honest it's more fun watching the fights with you guys yeah for sure of course it's not even close with your friends it ain't even close drinking good wine yeah having cheese kidding me pissing people off because you're chewing on the microphone yeah that's true it's the most fun until we get into illuminati stuff if i can keep eddie off the illuminati sharp left i even enjoy that i gotta be i miss eddie but eddie now he doesn't drink eddie doesn't

90:30drink no he doesn't drink anymore and he's way more reasonable well like with that kind of stuff he's not in evolution i don't know if that's true i haven't really talked to him about that i'm just i'm just reading his what other fight did they announce the big fight mike perry cerrone oh mike perry in denver that's crazy that's a great that's a good fight that's a crazy fight mike perry looked freaking great yeah he's dangerous man he hits fucking hard plus his last fight against paul felder he mixed it up he started fighting smart that was a real camp it's in jackson's now damn good yeah he said how interesting is that jackson jackson's jackson jackson crime with him cowboy he said he was essentially running his own camp training himself before really yep yep and when you're watching him fight now you're seeing right what's the matter woodley till that's the other one i forgot but you're seeing him now in his last fight against paul felder he looked more polished he looked more professional in his approach completely different still got all the marauder he's still a killer

91:27still super aggressive knockout artist like controlled right controlled controlled more strategy go up to 70 when it was just for that fight it was just they gave him an option he would have done so tough he would have done way better in that fight if he didn't break his arm in the first round but i saw it i was like dude i don't like that one when it bounced off his head when it bounced off perry's head i was like dude that might be a broken arm i i thought it's quite cold there's a lot of people like page van zan just had a second surgery on her arm because of that a lot of people more surgeries than that again give it up hey that one's a different thing i'm just kidding i was like this i don't know if i should do i do that i don't know what to do about them today the um the bone is not it's not easy to hit something with your especially a forehead yeah with this part this thing's kind of soft this shit snaps man you know this is i'm i'm really surprised we don't have more guys getting their forearms broken and blocking kicks yeah because there's some guys that's fine well kids right you so hard break your

92:25arm no a little bit felder felder is um is such a i think he's a high level striker he's super high so good man but look he is a he is a smaller guy than mike perry yes mike perry's a way more scary one strike artist even though felder's really scary 55 you lose a little bit of that when you go up against the bigger guys you just you're just going still stood his ground toe to toe with that guy he's highly skilled he's very smart but we haven't seen that yeah for sure we haven't seen that his arm we haven't seen that version of perry though and then we saw it's like oh oh right that version of perry against one of his most technical opponents like that perry shows up against cowboy right that's a we get like okay here's the fight like the alan joe band fight alan joe band who's was fought a smart technical fight out pointed perry yeah and the way he out pointed perry he out pointed perry that was more obvious it was a different perry headhunting just yeah yeah yeah just very one -dimensional he was trying to just put those hands on yep but now you see a guy was trying to do that but with like some winkle

93:24john strategy and he's young he's only like 26 right he's gonna be a problem yeah he's got a lot of time how about super aggressive bro i am okay here intern belt stun colby i'm that's the ufc talking but colby just had to get a nose operation for sinuses yeah and but this is the thing colby goes and i spoke to someone very close colby colby goes dude i'm down for the fight i just went five rounds will he's been out for how long give me yeah i can do it in october november just let me get ready i just said i'm gonna have science surgery that's fair and they went nope stripping of the belt till you want it until it's like fuck yeah i'll take it see that that seems to be a problem for anybody that's considering taking interim title fight in the future and that's what brian ortega brian ortega saw that and he was like listen they're offering him before that when his fight got canceled because max holloway is running to all those medical issues they offered him a fight for the interim belt i think it was against jeremy stevens fighting this weekend they offered frank yeager and jeremy stevens and so

94:23he frank edward one's crazy that doesn't even make any sense that's what brian said yeah and so then jeremy and jeremy stevens is fucking dangerous yes he is he is talk about a guy who puts you to sleep dangerous for anybody he's dangerous such a good fighter for anybody he and he is guns blazing he's fighting although this weekend son i know that's a great fight so at 55 right all those 45 45 so they offered him all those they offered him ortega they offered ortega a fight with jeremy because jeremy's already cutting weight for this fight or you know training for this fight which is only a few weeks later and he says well this interim title it doesn't mean anything i want the real belt fighters don't take it serious well here's why they shouldn't now right well this is a basic example like why would i fight for interim belt you just strip colby now this is us assuming that we know the whole story right i don't know the whole story i haven't talked to colby i haven't talked to dana you don't talk colby but i don't i think the conversation i'm not a fan of the idea of an interim title unless

95:21there's extenuating circumstances like someone's got a broken leg they have to be out for six months but it should be a year if they're out a year you got to do something so woodley was out a year correct so that's why it made rda it made sense and also just to play if i'm dana if i hey woodley we need you to fight and you want these super fights turn down fights what can we do let's force his hand create this interim belt he's been out a year which i like i wasn't talking about that i was talking about ortega okay i was talking about brian ortega because max holloway's defended fairly recently and he was getting ready to fight khabib it's not like he's been out a while they offered him the khabib fight he tried to cut weight for it and he might have fucked himself that way is that what it was yeah it's entirely possible they're still trying to figure out what happened well one of the pieces of speculation is that his body started shutting down because he he went through a real bad cut for the when he was trying to make the khabib fight at 55 on super short notice that's a hard thing for him to make 55

96:14he's huge he's huge he's like 185 what yeah dude max is a big fella well brian ortega's fucking huge too ortega goes up to 85 i couldn't believe i stood next to him i was like how big are you he's 45 he's bigger always bigger and so this is the problem with these guys they need a lot of time to get down to this weight right so holloway trying to do that this is one this is pure speculation holloway trying to do that is it was very hard for him his body broke down and then in cutting weight for this fight once his body started the water load his body knew what was going on and started shutting down this is speculation pure spec but here's my point you can't make i mean until you know that he's going to be out for a certain amount of time it seems like an interim title belt is almost disrespectful yes like he's he's the champ makes zero sense but i think i feel like it was a corporate decision find out but i feel like it was a corporate decision where they went okay we have to fight we need to fill this gap we have to fight well they have to fight somebody of course that way we get your time of some different yeah

97:14but i'm saying i'm saying they go they go we want there's got to be a title fight how about you have this how about you give the colby retains his interim title because there's extenuating circumstances with him medically yeah he had to get nasal surgery he's out until november colby gets the next shot whoever the fuck wins this fight colby fights next yeah see but you haven't talked to your boy dana maybe he's saying that maybe they were saying you were stripped they're saying you maybe listen fuck your belt but you will get the next shot whoever wins this you get you're taking your back i had heard they were trying to did some well maybe it was usman usman wants to fight till next and he's like let's do this for the real number one contender spot because usman is a guy who has quietly been beating everybody they put in front of him yes his last he has and i love him his last fight wasn't the most exciting but if you go through you know who maya has fought you look at the way colby did it you look prior to that you know usman would have the worst argument but he has the i the most potential

98:11probably like he's a not no one wants to fight before the damian maya fight i wouldn't agree with you because both guys beat damian maya before that was not good i'm saying their decisions right it's not like he was you he wasn't they're telling people i meant the before the damian maya fight with colby colby didn't have a lot of big names on his resume he had one decision over damian maya yeah so like what do we got here he beat damian maya as well in his last fight although there was a thing about that fight that bothered me two things one the referee chose to separate damian maya from usman when he had him from behind and he had the yeah the wizard dude it was a fucking compromising position it was a dangerous position that was i this is not usman's fault this is just the referee's fault i said i severely disagreed and agreed with matt serra who was talking about the guy takes the fight on short notice he gets to a good position you're telling him to work you got to be careful not to lose a position you're talking about a super high level wrestler in usman who you can't just let go and it was very

99:11a world -class grappler like damian maya he needs one nanosecond for usman to make a wrong turn and it's game over you gotta let the crowd boo yes you can't get upset there's a situation that's happening where this guy has the best chance of winning and he's he's at the door he's at like step eight out of ten he's got the back but he might go to nine and then usman might try to defend he might go to ten and get the tap it's entirely possible this is happening right now i don't know how usman gets down to 70 by the way he's a beast he's the biggest shot ever even with this usman's so goddamn good but you look at 170 what's where's the fireman why does everyone have to fight for the title right away let's not kill off all these young lions i think one of the things is because they want that they need stars yeah they want that pay -per -view card to have a big headliner and you know and woodley's ready you can create that with trilogies with great fights with i mean you there's a way there seems to be a better strategy than to feed your young but that's if you didn't have a schedule that you had to fill see

100:08boxing's different in that boxing doesn't have a schedule they have to fill that way but who's making the schedule why do they have to fill that schedule i don't know man well they have 500 fighters on staff well they well they commit to they have to commit to a certain amount of fights right with fox and pay -per -view and fight nights picture of vitor standing with dana in front of their fucking board of fighters and trying to figure out who fights who no i got a headache i almost blacked out just looking at the board a hard job thinking about 500 fighters you're responsible for putting into fights and how many different people and sean shelby and mick maynard and they're running around there joe silva's in his underwear rolling around with his buddies and joe silva's fucking virginia laughing his ass off he's like i got out bitch yeah he goes i'm doing karate in my basement but just reading books and chilling mick maynard mick maynard and sean shelby with and fucking uh and you know uh silva joe silva all the three of them have one thing in common all of them are super smart dudes yeah

100:59yeah for sure those match makes not like there's like oh let's do this they're very very smart guys i've learned about a lot of books from joe silva look at look at that board and look at all those names on that board that's just the top that doesn't give you a headache that's the top 15. that still gives me a headache really in every weight class look at it it gives me a fucking headache that doesn't give you a headache no yeah because they're not all calling you get rankings dude all those guys if between the four of us we could figure out the matchups let's not get crazy and then some of them take care of themselves one two you're up three four i mean it's not you're crazy driving ferraris and making deals you don't have time to make these matchups you gotta prove you have time to hate on people on instagram you got time oh hate on people look at those numbers those numbers those numbers give me a goddamn 15 rankings bro yeah who's gonna fight who well what gets that's easy part you know what really freaks me out this is how many of those people have his phone number and text him all the time

101:49probably not many i'm like ah probably not many just taking my phone buzzing no no that's see what's crazy if you think this is easy one through 15 15 through fucking 100 is the complicated part yes we're the number 50 guys gonna fight 43 where they fight where do you put them fly them in from brazil you're not ranked right so until you crack that top 15 nobody gives a shit yeah but you still got to get matchups for them you gotta match your matchups yeah and how often are you getting those matchups you get in a fight once a six months once a year you know it's weird it's weird on the left they have the pound for pound rankings that's very strange yeah it almost it almost mirrors completely the website though like that's the very first oh it's weird is amanda nunez fighting chris cyborg soon or who does yeah they're supposed to put that together and cyborg's pissed about it she wanted to do september but amanda nunez has to wait till december why but she said she probably wants to put some weight on she said she needs time but she's gonna fight her and cyborg's not happy about it why did she want

102:49to fight in september cyborg she she fights once every year she's like let's go man but she also goes all right well if you're not giving me that give me someone else i don't want to wait till december i can fight both but fight me if cyborg does decide um to like to leave the ufc are they going to be able to get her fights somewhere else it doesn't matter ufc's not getting her fights right but who else is going to be able to it's not gonna be easy for wherever she goes nowhere she goes no no too good yeah well too good and there's not a lot of there's not a lot of legit 45s i mean you saw big megan anderson looked megan excuse me looked uh when she fought holly holly holm i mean she looked a lot bigger than her you could have gave her a warm -up and then had her fight cyborg that that would have been better i wouldn't kill her off with holly home who's this animal yeah because now you don't have a competitor for cyborg right where megan anderson would have been a fun one for cyborg we did think that you know megan is physically very big very strong likes to stand up and bang but now like at least a part of her

103:49game for that fight's been pretty exposed it's going to be a real problem first fight in the ufc fight in holly holly home i know but she did get kind of wrestled and dominated on the ground by holly which is not you know what i mean so you're like hmm that's but still it's like cyborg needs competitors that was her plan for that fight too yeah cyborg needs but cyborg needs more like stars and competitors like stories why kill one off with holly oh 100 but the thing is like at least that's a fight where there's a name and a name so i can sell some pay -per -views with that fight and well for holly at least i mean it's like megan anderson at least has some hype behind her she comes in it's a good fight for holly but holly took a big risk taking that fight yes you know what if she loses you know it's a bad situation and going up to 45 you know staying at 45 when she's a legit 35 but also cyborg's not gonna fight holly she goes no you just don't beat that girl and get a rematch i just beat you exactly so who fights her now yeah yeah so now you're in this situation where like all right let's call up amanda nunez

104:44right and then amanda nunez fighting chris cyborg is very intriguing to me way more dangerous i think that's gonna be more dangerous than what way more dangerous than anybody she's ever fought anybody that anybody cyborgs ever fought correct other than gina and that thai girl oh yeah but that was that was just muay thai sharina barge uh you know she she knocked her down nightmare with a front kick to the face i would say a prime holly's more struck because holly uh holly can get up to that weight amanda nunez she's coming up she's smaller you know i i agree she's smaller though yes yeah for sure holly is awesome and super highly skilled and a counter striker yeah stylistically is more dangerous for cyborg and cyborg beat her pretty candidly yeah maybe if she fought her i mean holly is a little older she's like 36 now amanda nunez coming forward and cyborg coming forward there are two mac trucks one's a way bigger fucking brazilian truck what do you think's gonna happen i didn't know i that's a really good point because i didn't know i i feel like uh amanda nunez is is is shoulders wise

105:46she just looks every bit as big she's not sir no no she's smaller and she does press forward like relentlessly here's the thing she doesn't have to fight that way we're assuming that she has to fight that way you tell me she can use footwork like holly well she used a lot of footwork in great hands great hands she punches hard she punches long arms like wow for sure when she fought rakel's long arms and punches hard you know has longer arms and punches harder yeah her name's cyborg yeah there's not a woman alive she's the greatest of all time it's it's definitely a dangerous fight i think amanda nunez has has more technique but i think when you come up like that and you have this animal cyborg it just i think it's scary you get claressa shields to learn how to sprawl you ever seen uh shields i don't know who claressa shields is james bring up chris shields and cyborg sparring yeah i've seen it oh that black guy that she was a champion black black boxer black girl girl i said black guy i said black you said guy i think you said guy you said guy no i could imagine just made a mistake like sometimes i

106:50say brian and i really know she's amazing though she's she can bang no they get sparring and they bang bang now now imagine it name another professional female fighter you're gonna get down like zero oh and she's an olympic medalist brian yeah she's two times i watch this let's watch a little of this yeah there's zero i would pay money for you to jump in there with either one of these girls no no thank you no thank you don't get hurt yeah i just want to see me but look at look at her fucking skill level like the way she's waiting with a counter with straight shots and use that jab and go to the body and then up to the head really chris is doing work oh yeah chris is dangerous man she's fucking dangerous and claressa correct me if i'm wrong i believe she fights at a heavier weight class no you're right i think she fights at 65 is that what her weight class is heavier and and and she's the best female box in the world right yeah and look at her fucking counter strikes look how she goes to the body into the head look at that to that right to the body and right over the top and she's on cyborg too man they're

107:46throwing down dude yeah she's winning the rounds but cyborg's holding her own is my point oh yeah and by the way if cyborg's deep kick good actually cyborg could kick her legs claressa would be i'm just saying when we talk about the manna nuna's fight we talk about her stand -up it's like i get that but cyborg's very big man and deals with high level boxers for sure oh yeah the only difference is my ready is my favorite female fighter the only difference is cloressa is standing right in front of her and pressing her and she's trying to put it on her i don't think amanda nuna's smart strategy would be to fight this way i think her best strategy would be to use the aggression of cyborg and try to counter and get out when she can't get out has she ever fought that way before though well she can she can she's smart enough matt brown's a genius she fought real slick against raquel pennington it wasn't just mike mike brown attacking and mauling what i say you said matt but mike is mike's amazing mike at how about mike man mike's crushing yeah he is champion in his own right great fighter himself yeah

108:42the only guy he lost to was jose aldo in his prime a lot of money dan lambert put a lot of money in american top team that motherfucker if it wasn't for him wasn't for dan lambert and his contributions the state of mma would be a a percentage or two lower than it is now i couldn't agree more it's a big part of no colby commenton either no no a lot of those guys took him under their wing and brought him up and they just built a new place he put in dormitories built a giant gym like built it from the ground up bought a piece of land got put a fucking structure up he's a monster beast amazing dan lambert's an animal they need to put him in the ufc hall of fame no bullshit he should be in some sort of mma home and i mean if guys like you think about the the amount of money that he had to invest the time he had to take in the fact that he wasn't making any money out of it's a passion project he lost a lot of money and he got over by a bunch of people too that really no need to name names but he'll he'll tell you personally he got over by a bunch of guys that he trusted and and over the over the years he learned who could trust

109:41and who you can and developed this incredible school and this incredible gym and i mean it's one of the best facilities on the planet earth when it comes to mma training and think about how many high level guys yeah unbelievable yeah this is it right now i mean you know it's crazy phenomenal phenomenal gym but it's the first time i ever saw money and investment the fact that he had the balls to put the money up for something like that long long ass time ago first time i ever saw hector lombard and i he walked across the mat and i i'd never quite seen anybody that thick and and he was not cuban jeans son those yoel romero what's he fight at and they were like at the time it was 85 and i didn't believe other things he says another plantains i'm just oh what are you talking about bro i'm talking about rice and beans and garlic chicken no hector did hector retire you ever have that garlic chicken from dude yeah god damn that's just i love cuban food me too man they have that garlic chicken with onions it's got like a lemon sauce lemon garlic sauce the plantains my mouth is water the smell of it dude i've

110:41been doing that fucking uh i love cubans and rice on the side come on cuban culture i love cubans i love cubans i like the cuban i know it's joey dills but i love no no no man i love that you cuban my ami a miami is great because of because of the cubans it's a big part of it for sure for sure they're such a blast people oh yeah best audiences i fucking love them i love them they make the best cigars on the planet earth everybody knows that and good looking they're not so hard to get anywhere are they well you get a lot of fake ones you get some fake ones too there's a limited amount of land they grow it on the the most precious land i think it's something ridiculously small what i think it's like cigars yeah yeah yeah i think there's the viejo baja what is the name of the area there's one area where they grow they'll be i don't care we're gonna find out you know what i mean it's the the soil there's something really special but what makes them so special something about the mineral contact in the soil oh yeah wine's that way yeah if you you can buy a plot of land here and the wine's like 30 bucks a bottle for

111:45whatever reason because of where the sun hits and what time just over here like the next plot over is worth like you know binds yeah it's a hundred dollar bottle of wine vueltas abajo in the semi -vielto region so the pinar del rio province it's located at the western end of cuban contains the view view view vuelta so the vialta abajo is where everybody wants cigars nowhere in the world grows tobacco better than cuba wow yeah so that area though grows these cigars like if you ever had a really good like hoyo de monterey double corona five havana no this is what you want to do bro you want to eat a fat steak like a fat ribeye my mouth is and and after you carf it did that ribeye you sit there with a double espresso this is such a guy thing and a ridiculously fat cigar that gets you high after two puffs steak and a dick suck bro ah yes puffing on this yes cuban cigar but here's the one of those drug tigers at my feet so i can squish my feet and it's drugged up yeah yeah yeah and nycwld up fucking tiger all heroin now you ever seen those guys you ever seen those guys roll those cigars it's pretty impressive

113:01it's it's a skilled thing it's a craftsmanship thing yeah there's a it's just not it's not simple like rolling a joint i thought it was done between fat fat uh beautiful a beautiful cuban fat thighs there's videos of these people doing it they they're skilled man they they know which tobacco leafs to take and how to put it together and what you put on the outside is different than what's in the inside and this one guy i was watching at the airport um someplace near the airport rather where they would roll cigars you're going to go and uh and and watch them do it and it's like you stand in front of the windows dude puffing on a stogie this was in miami i went with joey um way way way back in the day there was a place where you could go where you could watch some people roll cigars and so they would they would roll the cigars in front of you and press them and put it all together just like this guy here probably and they had like moisture yeah but dude it's impressive because any skill like that right yeah well this craftsman yeah they knew how to do it like he's trimming it and they're doing it all by

114:02hand and by feel and he knows how much to put in the cigar look look at this so now he's this is what you're gonna smoke this is what you're smoking yes so he's rolling this bitch up oh wow and look see he's broken it all up by hand and he's getting his finger wet and wetting down the glue yeah dude it's seriously skilled labor and you gotta think this guy might be rolling beautiful hands i have a question might be rolling 20 of those in the same box and look see how cuts it with that old school knife damn then he smoked that thing oh fuck yeah i have a question pinches it down and seals the end i mean this is beautiful man for you think he's doing extra because the cameras are there no no this is how they do it i watched maybe bro and then this is the outside so that's the inside of the leaf then they take the outside so there's the outside which is what do they call that shit what do they call the outside of the leaf there's a wrap is it the wrap i think they call it the wrap so they he trims it to the perfect size and then he gets this bitch up there and it rolls that motherfucker tight look at that look at that

114:57roll it tight you look at how he's like backing it up and slowing it down add a little moisture here let me get my hand on my pants keep talking yeah these guys are skilled laborers i mean this is a do you guys love cigars i do enjoy a cigar every now and again but not like you're not doing it every friday night or some shit hey you're you're a pot connoisseur i have a question you're a pot connoisseur um though i was thinking about this they spray the fuck out of weed right they spray it with lots of pesticides do they i believe a lot it's grown it's grown indoor you should talk to gino no i actually have i actually have it on good authority what's up gino i don't think some are it's like pesticides or organic pesticides uh i i i have it on good authority that when you buy a lot of weed they spray the fuck out of it because it's it's valuable and it gets moldy so they will spray it to death then it doesn't really get washed you're you're from from my when you're doing it in bulk you're buying people who deal the stuff in big bulk they kind of did money money spray and then you smoke that i wonder what that

116:01does i wonder get you high and you have fun yes those things are definitely happening you have to pick on everything yeah dude the weed fuck your pesticides i was asking a question fuck your pesticides just come on smoke it yeah but i think they must wash it i don't think they do they definitely don't you think those guys are watching you were seeing you were seeing those how about this how about this when you're counting a million dollars when you have those money counters and you're in a room and they're like they're because a lot of it's just cash right yeah guess what you got to touch that you might want to go in there with a mask why number one you can actually get a runny nose from the cocaine residue and you get sick because the the the dirt that comes off money money so have you ever seen what they found on money they found on money first of all every every dollar bill has some residue of cocaine like every like not just dollar bill but like 20 yes yes yeah but forget all that the um they they found this guy did this analysis on a bunch of different dollar bills they even found white rhino

117:02horn powder on all on just a bunch of the bills because well it gets you know the number of times that it's you know but they found crazy shit right rhino what they found cocaine they found all kinds of weird dirt bro yeah the rhino powder is the weirdest and that weird because because probably some poachers were dealing turning back and forth here's the thing about the rhino thing there's nothing that shows that that does anything remember we were talking about the bear zero that that rhino thing doesn't do anything up that's the craziest thing so they're killing rhinos just like almost to say oh this tea is made out of dead rhinos yeah come have a seat right we are we are very fancy gentlemen we're drinking rhino tea do you tell me if you're where's this up if someone's like dude we got rhino horn tea i'm like i gotta try that well you know what man if you're far enough removed from the actual source of the misery and you don't actually see the rhino get a shot in the head and his horn hacked off and you just think you're a fancy guy with a gold rolex on drinking some rhino tea yeah you know i

118:01mean there's a lot of that back in the day exclusive people want to be exclusive they love it and i think it's called what is it called the green hills of africa i think it's called uh hemingway book and he describes killing a rhino and uh it was done back then damn that's your second one bro yeah oh yeah you're getting nuts start throwing up in that in the fucking in the evening flew from the other side of the planet son part of what a week why i went and bought all that weed last week is because the new rules came into place and they have to test for pesticides so i was like they had six months which is i guess it started as so jamie's like give me that pesticide covered weed son i don't want your bullshit ass clean i like it yeah these it's just not starting that makes sense what we smoked is what i've been smoking a lot lately is blunts with uh the tobacco on the outside on the inside yeah i felt like i stuck that my poor pink lungs no no you get a little buzz son it's like a little cigar type i don't know buzz great great now i'm hooked on cigarettes thanks joe well um i got back into it again um with

119:04chappelle chappelle smoked one with me and i was like dude i'm like elevated here he goes this nice right i go it's weird i go it's like the tobacco mixed in with the weed i forgot about it and the last time i had really smoked one before that was uh with charlie murphy what does that say jewel users sue what over the addictive e -cigarettes that's giving them too much nicotine you fucking babies just stop last time last time i saw chappelle he was in the back he was using one of the fucking vapor pens yeah here's my doctor says this way better i went have you ever looked into that because that's not they don't know for sure if it's that much better for you vaping yeah yeah i don't know if it's better but i know a lot of people say it's better i don't know if they're right smoke itself what is you're you are getting smoke with a vape but it's but that's right in that smoke like in that container there's alcohol there's all sorts of weird shit in that like that stuff's yeah well that's the thing with those weed ones too i ran into some dude who told me he makes it with mct oil yeah okay well why not i'll

120:04smoke yeah oil's oil i guess yeah you are ingesting in your lungs yeah yeah you're you're doing something yeah i'm i'm getting into psychedelics i've decided you've decided i'm not kidding dude we did dmt together i want to do it again and not only that i want to do acid i've never done that i've done mushrooms many times you know what no i like it no because i'm getting into meditation i'm getting into meditation you want to use the tank why don't you use the tank i've done that i'm letting go of my ego dude you can let go your ego remember the one's right here for you remember what you want good remember the one time we used the tank in san francisco you should use it yeah i do bro not for me get bad brendan decided yeah i'm gonna say it say it brendan decided he was bored and he yanked one off he jacked up naked is warm dude my dick is out so everybody else has to lie in your calm people lying in your calm deals that's so rude and you know that happens all the time and that's why i'm never doing a public okay well let me tell you something this tank unless uh i need my shorts on bro from fucking good

121:04morning america yeah unless he's jacking off in the tank right he's the only one who's been in it don't let don't let this degenerate in there because i'll tell you right now jamie he'll squeeze no this fucking guy will squeeze one off right now would you squeeze one off my tank no yes he will that's so disrespectful he's a liar i thought this was a big place i thought they'd filter the water he comes out he comes out like being naked i don't like being naked in warm water bro like it was super exotic to me you should jerk off before you go in there so you're not tempted no the water does it the salt water floating yeah what if you're just jack went off first then you'll be like man i wish i was horny right now that's disrespectful he came out and he goes like this he's like this and i'm like what he goes how was your thing i go it was good it was actually really amazing i kind of felt myself floating and i kind of he goes yeah i jacked off i was like hey way to ruin it i go what'd you do what'd you do with it because i just fucking jacked up in the water shooting the heavy arcs that place is never gonna let me

122:04back i'm in san francisco in october goldfish skimmer well the salt kills everything but gee whiz oh whatever something like it does they say chlorine those two filters on this i don't i don't want dead i don't want dead come on me okay dead come off in joe's fucking tub bro well crash it's a one -time thing shout out to the float lab in venice california and now westwood they uh they have the best tanks and he's the most meticulous about his fucking filtration systems he uses water filtration systems for like like like you would use for a city like you see these giant fucking machines you should see the setup you put back here it's like commercial water it's back here back here do they keep pervs let me check out your tub bro they keep everything out yeah and we film we film we film there's a security camera there's a night vision it's just a little red light there's a one -fucking -time thing i was in the warm water where i don't like being naked i get it i get it i get it look anytime someone says i was beaten off i go i get it yeah who doesn't yeah i'm gonna be judged like a mother yeah i don't want

123:10to be judged i get it me too people are gross yeah especially men especially uh any other fights we should talk about to wrap this up is stipe gonna get another shot at he should huh you know i mean this is what people are thinking people are thinking you know the guy fights um wins more ufc title defenses than anybody in the history of the sport three becomes uh you know the most accomplished heavyweight of all time i mean you think about what he's done do you think about the fact that he knocks out fabrizio verdum to win the title he knocks out alistair over and defend the title knocks out junior dos santos stops uh beats francis when everybody's terrified of francis i mean he became the most accomplished heavyweight of all time right then he gets knocked out in the first round a crazy perfect punch by daniel cormier and a perfect strategy you gotta go well he uh for sure i'd like to see a rematch it's like when you want to see him beat somebody first and then have a rematch i actually want to see that but for me daniel cormier i've always said it is the most impressive fighter to ever step in

124:19the octagon in terms of his stature i just think he's incredible right he's to me the best i i want to see him fight john jones i i i know that john jones they say has his number fellas well the big money is in him versus brock that's all he's waiting for yeah so even with alexander gusman all this 205 talk he's like yo ramero he's like well that's not happening yeah i'm i'm retiring in march brock we ready to go okay january well corey anderson just asked for a title shot now after he just beat glover and so you know he said something like hey you know like i love corey anderson but you know the ufc is gonna be like brock the fight is brock of course it's brock controls the narrative guys can brock pass tests look at me yeah yeah you know yeah come on how long do you need before it goes out of your system how long do you need before it's like the answer's never brian gustafson opens up on crazy situation taking him off ufc 227 those years well what's what happened a small injury so he won't talk about it oh he won't talk about it then how's he opening up well because people are like oh you won't fight

125:22anthony smith but you fight dc or you fight at heavyweight but now all of a sudden you're injured and then fight anthony smith versus shogun was a fight that i was concerned about i thought shogun retired yeah however he won three in a row if he would have won that yeah i want to see him get a title shot against dc because i want dc to get paid well shogun is uh he was ranked i think eighth eight or seven before this fight but even though he's not that old how old is shogun 100 years old in the fight world though yeah he's a tortoise in fight world yeah he's a fucking brazilian tortoise with a unibrow how old is shogun i think he's like 36 right he's my age is he 36 all right you're older even though he's 36 like look when bernard hopkins was 36 is when he knocked out tito trinidad oh yeah he's in his prime in his prime when he beat kelly pavlik he was i think he was close to 40 or might have been 42 yeah so that's not kelly pavlik's killer yeah not for everybody doesn't mean that they're past their prime but shogun had been in so many wars and he got knocked out by dan henderson in that last fight brother

126:26mma's different in 19 came on the grand prix it's different man pride days too it's a different different world different world all the drugs in pride you know like and now we got the grand snatch it's such a different environment yeah man but you'd never know who was doing what back then anthony smith is a motherfucker he's a mother that 205 he's a talented dude let's not just propel him to fight gustafu no no no dude let him but meanwhile he was ready meanwhile he was ready he wanted the fight he looking here's the argument for it the argument for it is he knocks out rashad on short notice he knocks out shogun and then he'll say look i'll take this fight too that guy's rolling he's ready to go he's a veteran he's got momentum you know the fight the fight the most intriguing fight to me would be i mean it's not brock and i like that bro i like brock dc because dc gets paid but for me that's the only reason yes but the the most intriguing fight to me in a lot of ways would be yoel romero at 205 so he didn't deal with that weight cut with daniel cormier well cormier was like no no you can't lose at this

127:27fight and you miss weight go yeah sure and you miss weight cormier's smart but then yoel's like listen dc you cheated when you made weight you know you were pushing down that towel that one time okay that one time that one time that was real do we want to talk about cheating and for yoel to dc what are you saying brandon stool gate oh stool gate here's the difference you my boy tim over um that's true you're saying the coaches john mccarthy said it totally different when john mccarthy explained it to me and i thought i think he explained it to me off the air this is what was wrong the guy who put too much vaseline on on yoel was not in his corner the guy was a ufc employee and he wasn't coming back in and john was trying to get him to come back in and he didn't come back in and yoel sat down on the chair and he said if he had to do things differently he would have done things much differently he would have forced him off the chair now but he said this clusterfuck that happened over 30 seconds was not because of yoel's corner it was because of a ufc employee then i take back what i said if if john says that

128:28what john says is word it's where i will not argue with john mccarthy ever he explained it to me in no uncertain terms he said but listen man he goes i feel like he got away with something he goes in and ever every fight after that i watched him like a hawk he goes i felt like he got away with something it fucked him over no matter what he stayed on his stool he did stay on his stool i mean there was why wouldn't you though yes if no one's getting the stool i'm like i'm chilling there was 30 extra seconds is is is significant it's everything it's it's huge but then he had a good point he had a good point that's a good everything that tim tim at one point was holding his wrist he had cuffed his glove he was holding his you know what happens in every fight right he hit him with a punch and that was the punch that hurt him yes so he has an argument you're right it happens at every fight but it's not supposed to happen right it's not something you're supposed to do now tim was in full barbaric rage when this was happening when he's throwing these punches he cares about grabbing the glove recognize that he was

129:24grabbing he's fucking throwing bombs who knows what was he's fighting the most athletic guy for sure he's ever fought yes i mean he was in a bad state in that fight i mean that was a like that was a one too yeah fighting a guy had one jesus christ him had it won yeah look yo yo ramero such a freak freak such a freak super freak beat cal sanderson twice in the world champion i mean he's super freak you're talking he's ready for this though he's a freak i think you won that whitaker fight all due respect no not a chance robert how dare you i think you won two it'd be a draw no if you think you won you go at 10 8 rounds if you look at it it'd be a draw well if he won two rounds 10 8 is it a draw brian doesn't count uh what were you saying he won two rounds 10 8 no no i give him one round one round 10 8 but he heard badly in both of those rounds right yeah yeah yeah but one was like 10 where i'm like damn that's 10 8 so that'd be a draw one for sure but he didn't get it even in one which is fine but there's an argument that he got it in two because in two rounds he had him badly hurt yes the one was awful one was awful it depends what

130:21you want to call 10 8 so let's say you give the one 10 8 so let's say it's a draw whatever robert wicker the first one beat him right we don't say he beat him he did it with one leg and then this one he beat him with one arm whitaker no doubt he broke his hand that's right in the first god that's right straight up beast that's incredible one arm one leg you're right dude beat yoel you're right that's a good point that's insane you know what survived yo based on that clanging on his jaw yeah you know yo i'll hit him with some bombs in that second i don't have a problem getting the 10 8 on that one that is the fourth round fourth thing was the fourth round yeah yeah yeah whitaker's a beast and still getting better whitaker's only 26 here's the problem though he gets injured all the time but who is he fighting he's fighting a brick wall i know but the problem he fought a brick wall twice literally a brick wall but the problem is he's fighting so he can't you know what i'm saying so when you're going through that rehabbing of broken bones you're not getting that much better in between yes but it's entirely

131:16possible that with a broken hand he can work his kicks he could work a lot of different things for sure with a broken hand he's not going to have the same issues that he had with a knee see with the knee you're you got mobility compromises you have a real hard time training with his hand he can do a lot of for sure yeah he's young and he could still i mean look what he's doing in the fight he was throwing combinations with the left he's throwing kicks no his kicks phenomenal he went you all you want to fuck up my knee with those kids i'm going right shut these out i'm gonna try that he fucked his knees up and he fucked his knees up really early in the fight like right from the jump he was using that oblique kick on the front leg side kick now you got your versus uh uh uh boracina boracina i would never wear clothes if i had a body like that yeah paul costa got mad at uh my boy kelly slater well why because kelly was like i don't think he passed the sniff test oh you mean is kelly i mean what's that what are the chances for a rematch of that whitaker and steven thompson well steven thompson just lost till so um

132:16unless steven thompson goes up to 185 i don't think it's going to happen because steven thompson is at 170 and steven could do it he could go up to 185 and and and that the cue at welterweight's a nightmare so if he wanted to get a quick title shot he did not have to win one he did knock robert whitaker out but i think you can attribute that yeah i think you attribute some of that to the brutal weight cut you know we're seeing these guys that are they're just taking so much out of their body to get to 170 that's why people get so fucking angry when someone misses weight by a couple pounds and still fights like darren till so here's the argument against darren till fighting for the title he he beat steven wonder boy but how many pounds over was he a lot it was more than two right way more yeah was it six it's crazy it's a lot i don't think it was that much but it was a lot of weight it was more than two pounds that is a lot of weight to lose when you already dried out and he's an enormous welterweight so the argument the argument should be if we're in a fair world if you do not make weight and you win you cannot

133:17fight for the title next the problem world are you living in right the problem with that is financially that sucks because i want these guys to fight sure right and as a fan it sucks because i want these guys to fight but from the perspective of the athletes you got to think like man so this brings me back to my original premise i don't think they should be able to cut weight i think what they're doing at one fc and what ben askren detailed how they monitored his weight cuts move everybody's championship up a weight you keep the same champions you find out what fucking weight is the right weight for them if a guy's 70 nope your real weight is 185 if a guy's 185 people would still people would still adjust no no no no no no no no they don't allow them to they do hydration tests through their entire camp they check them multiple times they find out exactly what they weigh they find out what they really weigh plus hydration tests damn yes they're not cutting weight that makes sense they go up you go up a weight class everyone just goes up and ask you went up to 185 he was fighting at 170 before i think

134:14find that make make sure that's correct i know he's better for your body he was 170 100 but he was 170 but i believe they made him they gave him the title he kept his title so you don't strip the champions sure you just move the champions up and it's healthy for everyone 100 and i think they should establish additional weight classes so what does it say here um result event day okay we will allow our athletes to come we will not allow our athletes to compete compete dehydrated rich franklin said powerful rich franklin franklin but if they happen to be overweight if they're hydrated but maybe half a pound over something like that we can negotiate a catch weight and we have parameters for that we have to at least 105 percent of their opponent's weight oh they have to be at least 105 of their opponent's weight so they can't be more than five percent over is what he's saying damn smart they implemented in genius he said we use an instrument to test the specific specific gravity of their urine which test how much solutes are in their urine he continued obviously the more solutes you have the

135:12more dehydrated you are so they have dehydration tests so they establish that a fighter is performing at a healthy weight they weigh in at that weight they're weighing in at that weight on more than one occasion they're checking it it should be easier in fact it's just better for you man but it's easier knows a lot about this too he certainly does he was a big two -fiver he was an 85er he was an enormous 185 when he was the champ yeah he was so much bigger than like david looazzo and a lot of the guys who fought so he knows a lot about weight cut and he was a fitness phenomenon math teacher he was like one of the guys like that was one of the first super fucking conditioned guys right who just break guys with his pace and his will and look like jim karen's discipline he's a beast rich franklin doesn't get enough credit he was a beast because we see because we remember him from from the anderson bites really god rich franklin but for most of us most of us heard about him when when we saw him just have to deal with that that the best of all time unsolvable problem yeah well when anderson when he fought

136:08anderson back then his body though he looked like jim karen he was a stud when he fought anderson at that point in time anderson was the best of all time he was a ninja and how about they were like rich we need you to finance him again listen you need to do it again but we're doing since then in front of all your friends and family i remember when he's grabbing him with that moytak clinch and he couldn't get out remember his nose yeah rich franklin's one all -time greats yeah he's an all -time great one of the reasons i got into it but you know the brown and pink he had a different strategy his strategy was to be super strong super conditioned very highly skilled but not the same level of anderson right anderson's thing was all technical yeah anderson was all about technique and footwork and movement and he that trumps everything he's kind of a nerd i've got tiago uh albus told me that he's he's like the dude i was like what because he knew him really well i go what's he like he was in a martial arts nerve i mean martial art nerd he would like practice remember that one weird thing where he did his

137:04elbow up and he had been practicing that apparently according to tiago he'd been practicing that he was always doing this like i wonder if this would work i mean he's just really creative this worse than this his his fucking trainer told him to stop doing it because it's not going to work so he makes his wife hold a pillow for him so he goes home and he's fucking blasting the pillow with this upward elbow he does it over and over again and pulls it off in the fight and knocks him dead with it it's a crazy he's brilliant crazy scene yeah you ever see his fight with lee murray and cage warriors no holy shit holy shit no he was gonna retire till big nog told him was like you can't stop come to the ufc he was catching his stride in england see he fought very well in japan but then really came into his own in england he fought jorge rivera do you remember jorge rivera he fought jorge rivera jorge was teeing off on him he was letting jorge punch him in the face and then he fucked him up yep it was one of the scariest fights i've ever seen i'm like i don't know what the fuck he was doing back then but anderson was

137:58on another level anderson and pride wasn't like this crazy super he was not that he was always he was always skillful and he got you know but it was never like crazy but i was i was watching him fight from the fights that i was watching from england so i i would you know as a hardcore fan especially back then i knew that there was a lot of talent that i wasn't seeing in the ufc when i was working for the ufc so i was it's actively like trying to seek out all the guys and people that i would hear about and i remember watching some of the anderson's fights i was like oh this guy's hit a new place because guys do that man you'll see a fighter and they're really good they're really good they're really good and then all of a sudden boom yeah they hit that group i wonder if that's some of that's like sometimes there are certain pockets of coaching that seem like new zealand i think like that's like new zealand has high level strike right now for sure with style bender and with uh and even their boxing right i mean dan hooker like here's here's him versus watch this he's like letting them hit him look at this

138:52he's holding on to him and jorge's hitting him and hitting him look at that boom and he's like bitch this is not happening you ain't hurting me standing right in front of him i mean literally let him punch him in the face and just rolled with them then how about when he comes to the ufc they're like hey chris leave and fight this brazilian chris is like what but it's crazy how calm he was while jorge was knocking people out man he has big power the fact that anderson was so skillful he was able to just turn his face just slightly just standing right and move with those punches just enough to take the pop off of him and completely ruin his confidence and then he just starts putting it on him man he just started putting prime anderson you remember how electric he was coming to the octagon this this was a fight that really turned it around for me this and the lee murray fight there were two fights where i was like okay he's in a different place right now you know he just was so fucking talented and so good at judging distance and figuring out what to do and when to do it and he fought when he fought

139:50damian maya in abu dhabi it was a boring ass fight but there was something in the first round that he did where i was like wait what he leaped and he hit damian maya with a flying knee from about four or five feet yeah further away than i thought was possible dude i will i will never i will never launched himself in the air he was so talented and it looked it didn't look like it was much effort nothing when he knocked out v v toward that fucking front kick remember first time we were like kind of saw someone get fucking starts from that main event yeah i remember i was sitting basically cage side my manager lex with me and he has bad eyes basically blind he can't see out of his eye and it happens i go that's the craziest thing i've ever seen in sports and he goes what happened i go what you fucking missed i didn't see it i didn't see it i'm like you should not be here i love that dude you wasted this fucking ticket like i remember shout out to lexman i remember screaming he front kicked him in the face that was the that's the best sporting event live i've ever seen when aniston killed fucking v so crazy it

140:55was just this like smack and it was also one of those fights where you didn't know who the fuck was going to win that fight that fight remember what v tour that was too that was pretty jacked up v tour no no no it wasn't v tour now it wasn't bodied up the way he was after it was super but it was let's see what he looks like well he wasn't you wonder what you wonder what yoel romero he wasn't damn but look at it look at his body's nowhere near the v tour that rockhold fight dude he looks pretty good no no no no no no no watch the fight back it up a little bit like watch watch them actually move around before the knockout that's all it is now he wasn't he wasn't go to the way and no dude he he i remember very specifically that was the same look that he had when he fought like takiyama or sexy yama for sure which wasn't terrible no no no it was it was in comparison to how he looked when he fought bisping like there's with the trt wheel kick yeah yeah wheel kick v tour was a different v tour what is this which one's this see very smooth this is not he doesn't look anything like trt v tour look at his neck look at his body

141:57straps are a little small yeah obviously he's still about 1400 not even close he's pretty jacked though i mean he's in very good shape don't get me wrong but no he's not tv tour yeah you know who beat trt v tour at his prime who john jones yes he did but john jones is enormous so much still though look at this hey vitor almost caught him in a triangle thing with the hands look at anderson anderson was doing like wing chung on him and remember people were booing because you guys were just moving around and we're like come on let's do something then hit cow yeah he's looking for the move man he's looking for that opening he's looking for that opening and he's smiling smiling look at watch him look down too that's the other thing he did that old move that guys would look down at your feet and kick you in the head was anderson six two or six three we think six three i believe six three yeah tall yeah he almost got starched here too man vitor was throwing some fucking haymakers how great is vitor though vitor is a monster the best a monster see this vitor is very fit very good in shape vitor but not trt

142:54vitor once they gave him the green light and then he didn't have to worry about testing he was like he put a thousand horsepower engine in a volkswagen and drove off a cliff he's like let's do this oh my god there it is whoa come on son came out of nowhere then one two to them look at that again watch this they did not need the one too but yeah look how he's looking at his chest too oh yeah he told deceptive yep he looked at his chest and front kicked him in the chin and that was literally the first time we'd ever seen a front kick to the face ko like jaw dropping there's only two moments that made my jaw drop that anthony pettis and then remember when leoto machida did the same thing to randy couture but he ended with a jumping front knocked his teeth out too no he did it karate style yes karate kid that was disrespectful and then and then leoto did it to vitor was like this is your last go around this is your last one very cool let me show you something look at this same shit he's doing the fucking oh look at that dude that is crazy here's a little fact for you i got uh look at that brandy couture ready for

143:57this fight the night before i told mitts and mimicked leoto machida one thing i didn't mimic was the fucking karate kick god yeah that was the always the scariest thing he kicked his fucking tooth out you know how disrespectful that is i know and i said holy shit i go that he kicked his tooth out dan it goes well buy him some more teeth and i said dude he's randy go to her i want some shit with diamonds in it get him some with diamonds that's awful insane but it's just the way he did it but you know what's worse than this one when he knocked out vitor this last fight that's the worst front kick you've ever seen what was perfect it's a walk -off home run and this is what's disrespectful i know he's being polite he goes and fucking vitor just falls down and he gets on his knees and pray yeah watch this but watch how perfect it is too watch how quick boom oh and like see like stands over and then yeah my brother thank you for your time in the cage yeah i'd rather you just walk off and jump on the cage with your dick i know i know fucking samurai he is that is a crazy front kick though and it's the same thing left

144:57side kick well you know leota and anderson are partners in crime yeah back that up again let me let me see something oh come on how cool is this yeah it's crazy if you're a v -tor it's not joking the thing about the front kick is man if it's going to the face it's such a different thing than if it's going to the chest don't bow to me like that after you fucking knock my head off when it's going to the chest you're looking to like move away with it but it's going to the face as you're standing there and it's like it's not like it yeah and a lot of times when guys would take it to the body what they would do is kind of like almost like move with it a little bit try to move with it but that doesn't help you if it goes up to your chin leoto's just that career ender like this is your last fight very cool randy check this out hey chel oh he did it this is your last one let's try this and munoz how about mark munoz was terrible that was terrible munoz we need to take this fine short notice 185 and and we've all been trained together leoto me and mark were all trained together super jacked one too and fly to london yeah but

145:55look how jacked leoto was then that was leoto's first um spin at 185 let's take a look at that again such a good guy yeah he's a great guy he didn't he had a perfect opportunity first of all those two are the best men i know that have entered that great man they're both you trained with them for a long time both those were my training partners damn that's three years amazing yeah those guys were you're i saw you roll with them yeah leoto was such an unusual fighter so difficult to deal with the nice i remember four years ago three years ago we're in the locker room we had done training just had this brutal training session at black house and i go how much longer you do this shit man and he goes six years i went the fuck you you have six years like we're like laughing he's like well for sure i do i'm up for guys six yeah yeah well now he's in bellator he's like a legit yeah oh yeah he got a new warranty for fucking keys on van i's it's incredible you can keep it rolling bro is chuck is chuck actually gonna fight tito or is that gonna happen that's happening in golden boy boy is that really gonna happen

146:53though they listen they said that it's gonna happen but there's no venue picked out they he's got a passport and dana's very very concerned about it yeah you know a lot of people are concerned like dana said uh publicly that he didn't i mean there's a reason why he asked chuck to retire nine years ago you know he doesn't he doesn't think it's right and he wouldn't he wouldn't put the fight on himself i mean whoever would put the fight on would make a shitload of money credit to them for not wanting to do it because dana cares about chuck but chuck wants a fight so who yeah how are you gonna stop how you're gonna stop him you're gonna stop if he goes i want to fight and oscar medically can medically the thing is the the whoever the board i mean i don't know what his medical condition is you have to check how do they check that it's a good question it's a good question well you have cat scans you have it all depends on where they're going to do it too that's a big highly doubt they do it in la or cow or nevada anaheim like macau or new york yeah no it's gonna be on like an indian reservation or some shit like

147:46yeah tacoma fucking indian reservation or some shit right tacoma is that real i'd bait that up he goes he goes like tacoma fucking yeah that's what i was looking for fucking indian reservation no yeah they'll do it like foxwoods right they put up big fights at foxwoods you know and obviously you know you're dealing with oscar de la hoya's uh long history of promoting he knows where he can get away with what and what what they can do but it's the thing is like will they do that or will they give them some real examinations and find out how chuck's doing and hey tito's good to go tito's good to go he's been fighting recently he's been winning recently smart guy yeah he's fine you talk to tito i talked to tito real recently i have tito on my show like every week he's 100 there he's the best he's there i love tito he's ready to go man he's a good guy really good guy we have an impression of tito that a lot of it is based on his interactions with other people his fights that's so stupid but also that's a product of the times with him because he was this badass the hunting beach bad boy there was no

148:55podcasting there was no social media he's also changed there's no podcast you didn't get to know him no so if tito came on if tito at the time as big as he is and he came on your podcast he'd been even bigger because you go oh my god he's a good guy he did come on my podcast many many years ago but he'd already retired yeah he retired yeah i'm saying if came in went during his heyday yes on the beach bad boy yes and you were as big as you are now with this podcast and you got his story out oh my god yeah people get to see people and they have an idea who that person is like kevin lee's a perfect example great people have this great guy super smart super tuned in super ambitious fucking amazing fighter and young as shit yeah massive massive potential but people saw him on the podcast got to hear him talk for three hours and he's super honest about everything about and articulate articulate smart outgoing and a great control of his ego he's not he's not a maniac he's just like a really yeah because you get in sound bites you get such a different impression of certain especially in those interviews man

149:52those interviews the guy's like tell me what you're gonna do to your opponent i'm gonna fuck him all you're talking about right when i rocked off the scale and i'm like energized just like yeah what are you gonna do to him you're all aggressive you're playing a character you know who would i think would grow even bigger as a superstar if they did a podcast your podcast who conor mcgregor oh yeah i sat down how big can you get well i'm just like no i i think you would get less hate obviously he has all the accolades in the world but and there's the the stool or the dolly all that shit yeah but as a person we sat down you talked to him you just didn't get all that you know hoopla over here you sat down talked to him oh i think you'd be even when he retires i don't get that well we almost did it before there was some some trying to figure out times like before he became gigantic before the diaz fight before he won the title there was some talk about it it's just you know what man for better or for worse i don't chase anybody and i would definitely say no no i'm not saying you are oh but i'm saying i know there's

150:46some great guests like i know i i know there's some people that i would really like to get on but if it doesn't happen it doesn't happen i like having you guys on as much as i like some scientist who flies in france i really do i just like i like talking to people that are fun whether it's talking to you guys or talking to sure whoever the fuck it is i would like to get obama on one day i would like to talk to him you can you're getting huge maybe sure i would like to talk to a lot of people would you like to get trump on i would talk to him yeah why why not but are you gonna get real answers though that's what you'll find out as he's a president you know you'll find out if you get real answers because did you talk to maren have you have you talked to maren about when he had obama on no to submit a list of questions that to okay the questions and he goes and even you know he goes listen it was great i'm glad to give him the time but that's not like a real podcast right like you there can't be an agenda and i can't know what i'm going to ask you next i come on like when we come on here fight companions or our podcast i have no

151:39agenda i have no idea what we're gonna talk they have to be they have to be concerned that you're going to set them up and make them look bad that's a problem there's so much on the line for everything and when obama was doing this obama was a sitting president he was about to leave office you know and they probably had very strict rules in terms of like what they would allow and not allow in terms of interviews this isn't the platform for you he think trump doesn't give a fuck about all that i guarantee you he would be more confident and more open to just be able to figure his way through it because he wouldn't worry about that he's he shoots him he doesn't prepare for he also wouldn't worry about me out maneuvering him no like he's not he's not that smart dude but also have you ever heard trump before he's president on stern yeah there's some of the greatest interviews he's hilarious well yeah he was great and but even but he's also older you know and then also the pressure of that gig and then the pressure of everybody hating him yeah you know the whole thing is fine and i'm not saying this that

152:34he's the greatest guy in the world but i'm saying the whole thing is insane nobody should be president fucking nobody thankless job nobody should have that kind of power and to the it's such a dumb move to take that gig at 70. it seems to me every decision you make you piss off 50 of the people and you make 50 percent how much time you're not gonna win how much time do you have left would you have 20 years left if everything's a nice cherry on the sunday for a guy like that with his ego but also to say hey you have four years to accomplish all this i fuck four years do you know who that john lucavacci guy is he's that uh italian guy he's uh he does a lot of dancing on the instagram he's a super millionaire silver fox go to his his instagram he's got a video in shape he's got a video of him dancing and there's all these uh girls with behind him bent over with their ass up in the air so he's an italian that's what you're supposed to be doing when you've got trump money what trump should be doing is fucking be half naked by the pool dancing in front of butts i guess stern look at this i'm watching to watch this

153:35real quick this is what if i was if i was friends with trump i would say listen bro powerful you want to be like this guy by the way he's my he's younger than me so he's not that old no he's not no brian he's older than you he's 50 50 yeah he's he's in the neighborhood oh so he can't he's a little wrinkled because he's in the sun every day but meanwhile he's doing this every day too look at his awesome ankle bracelets dude look at the bitches in the back yeah yeah well this is the point this is what i would tell trump to be doing do this and then watch the girls behind him those are life goals however that's a lone i see i see a lonely man uh i gotta start dancing i think you're wrong look he's happy he's happy as shit he's always laughing always smiling either it's a tremendous act or he is actually a happy rich guy he's got and intense all over the world he's got a piece that's a legit point sir and he's doing he's he's working as a dj everywhere and he's got all these videos of him having a great time oh wow i mean seriously killing it man dude yeah would you rather be him or trump that's what i'm saying yeah

154:41this guy's having a great time with his money all these people it's all love and happiness he's jetting all over the world i'd rather be doing stand -up even elon musk take notes bro trump is just you know he's a guy wanted to win mr steel yo come on look at that outfit brian get some fucking tattoos i gotta get some tats salary bro he's got some bad tattoos too he's got a picture of his face on his back going like this shush it's the shut the fuck up tattoo he says dude it's a it's a very very it's a very unfortunate tattoo when you're a billionaire you do where the fuck you want yeah he's a strange cat he's a strange by strange you being awesome brian hashtag ballin hashtag shaves himself down son and a dick son pimpin all over the world hashtag g gv lifestyle he's got it tattooed on his leg that's aggressive but when you're billing it he's got water there he has love on his right tit because you need love on your right tit yeah dude he's kind of killed it this is the thing man this guy's smiling every time i see trump he's got a bigger and bigger frown and he's aging yeah by the day of course he's aging

155:44like fruit you see it aging like fruit ah yeah it's not a fine wine no he's not a cheese the um the the fucking most recent cohen tapes cohen's releasing tapes now of him negotiating about paying off a gal yeah well they they seized those tapes yeah but not cohen released them i thought they i thought they sees the nine tapes i believe it's just department oh they definitely did that but i believe they said that cohen released them to cnn is that true see if that's true did you see that his wife got busted watching cnn he freaked out she was on air force one watching cnn just hating on him they call it hate watching she doesn't she doesn't enjoy him dude dude come on well she's got it's tough when when the stormy daniels and the other one comes out you know dude you know what that's true who's fucking her where's that dude she's a beautiful well she's probably keeping it together for a kid man she's got a 10 year old kid here it is donald trump erupted with rage when melania's air force one tv was tuned to cnn's leaked email how crazy is it the president is in a battle with cnn that is so kind of

156:54winning too in some ways kind of winning well what he's definitely 100 done is damage their reputation among some people i can't and they kind of deserve it sometimes like some of the mainstream media deserves because what happens now is to stay in business they've got it they've got to create click bait what is this white house bands network pool reporter from rose garden event who's this she asked him about uh the cohen tapes and she got banned from damn you can get banned if you ask him questions how does that work do you have is it like he's an authoritarian you have a fucking a list of questions i think the white house has always reserved the right to sort of you're invited into the press pool i believe and and uh i think it's always been that sort of the president's prerogative they're all these little sneaky little yeah little sneaky things that the executive power has that's kind of granted to the executive the craziest one is the pardon thing you can go yeah and they killed a bunch of people brian but i like you we like to smoke stogies together yep did you guys listen to um i admit

157:53it the new r kelly 19 minute song i have and i've heard it's amazing is it really it's amazing because he talks about he peed on a 14 year old got away with it um i don't know what happened there that's supposedly what happened yeah but doesn't he admit a lot of it i mean yeah no he doesn't admit peeing on anybody or that the video was him what's he admit he admit it's it's most of the song is just him talking about all the chicks he banged oh okay and about how they took all his money because the they made him sign contracts when he was young and he was dyslexic and he couldn't read he gave away all the rights to his music and talk about all the flaws that he has and how many girls he lied to and how many girls he banged and he goes over so that whole story about him with the young girl was not true uh you've seen the video wait who said that who said that i don't know he got off i mean and i know he was with a 14 year what was that about some just because someone gets off or someone a jury of their peers doesn't convict yeah she was paid off i thought who the fuck knows yeah but it does not mean that he didn't do it

158:53have you seen the video no it looks like he did it yeah no no i've watched him piss on a girl it certainly looks like it here it goes r kelly secretly marries 15 year old aliyah 22 years ago today yeah that was no no that was aliyah that was a singer i know that was a different thing yeah that's in the song too you know i don't know enough i should shut up i shouldn't be yeah well that alone bro is illegal in a lot of places right it's also 15 is illegal everywhere in the united states you mean everywhere today i think 16 in vegas is 22 years ago that was it i think that's when it was i think it was always 16 right i think 15 seems very young they kept that under wraps that wasn't public knowledge i think the age of consent varies in the states and has been different uh over the last couple decades and i think 22 years ago what he did i don't think it was illegal was it is it mexico 14 in mexico mexico mexico is probably real young is that where he did it i thought it was 14. did you do it in mexico i would imagine if for it could be well if you that's a weird thing right like if it's illegal in the united states but

159:54it's legal somewhere else say if you go to japan or wherever the fuck it's legal and you get married and then you come back to the states can you live as a husband in life how the fuck does that work so it's as low as 12 where hold on in mexico it's as low as 12. 12 maybe as low as 12. can i get a whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop that's so ridiculous but what you know why don't you know we need to incorporate them stop just tell mexico listen we're gonna make drugs legal we're gonna send we we're gonna pull the all the troops out of afghanistan and iraq we're not sending them to mexico yeah clean up all the drug cartel bullshit but let's cut off the 12 year old shit let's just stop all that we're gonna make it be 18 jesus christ come on we're neighbors keep it respectable keep it respectable kind of good boop boop brian callen congratulations on your special i know you worked very very hard for this i'm very proud of you and thank you it was awesome to see you gear up for it see how how fucking fired up you got and you were doing a lot of touring and i knew you were constantly doing sets around town and

160:52constantly writing on it and working on it and tweaking on it you could tell you tell you're really obsessed with it man thank you man it's the best thing i ever did so i'm i'm happy about it better be oh jesus christ i'm just kidding yeah christ um thank you buddy so what do you do now are you gonna so now it's being edited and then you're gonna write some new shit shop around yeah i'll take some time you have one more show i just said you you don't have the whole uh rest of the year off stand -up because uh uh october we're doing that big show with all things comedy festival you in pho oh shit ari -shaffir and big j all things comedy is doing a festival yeah oh but we're doing one show on a saturday night the weekend before halloween yeah in phoenix in phoenix one show only what is the best one on sale that's amazing it doesn't matter you're in it that's beautiful right all right boys yeah it's gonna be fun this is fun always the best man you're the best you're the best austin dallas first uh weekends in august austin dallas website website for tickets tfak .com and then september 13th vancouver

161:52get them yeah bye