Al Madrigal

00:01five four three two one for sure live magical right the happiness you're a responsible guest I just want to give you props for that you took your phone you shut that off and you put it aside well it's a big thing for me also just as a comedian and comedy clubs like yeah you start seeing the Comedy Store become popular and I started noticing a bunch of chicks in there just looking at their phones non-stop mmm I even put this thing on my phone it's an app called moment that tracks how long I'm using it and what I'm using so if I get over a certain amount I'm like I get put this thing down does very smart we're all monkeys yeah looking down at this thing is fascinating the dopamine's I mean oh yeah I have a 15 year old son and non-stop yeah Whitney Cummings is explaining all the like the actual chemical responses that go on like you literally do become addicted to that

00:56phone and there's a lot of good on there yes that's the problem yeah but I mean how many times do you find yourself like about to go to bed and just like hitting refresh checking Twitter feeds maybe some interesting news stories coming up maybe there's something I missed let me go check Instagram it was a crazy picture that I didn't say it's okay to miss it it is okay to mices totally okay to missing like oh I admire what Ari did he stepped away from the whole smartphone completely just had a full conversation with him about it yesterday because I said you had three things happen that allowed you to completely check out and go on this trip ears I go you have no kids you're no kids you have no wife you have no family dog no dog isn't about laughing you went he moved to New York I sold him a solder but Rick gave him all of my furniture cuz he was moving to New

01:43York when I was leaving New York so I'm like dude have all this oh that's right you were there for The Daily Show did therefore The Daily Show and then I took off I was commuting back and forth because I left my family in LA and I took the gig so on Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday I'd work in New York and then I'd fly back oh jesus a horrible mistake trust we talked about that before you did it I was like man I don't believe you're doing this I've killed myself my back is all up I was unhappy Kalen likes if I can act I was a cashew shaped and was you're humping forward oh my god it's horrible like if I crack my my whole back when you're in an airline seat constantly and you're just constantly all stressed out and your sleep is all up it's not good so I got cast in another show I got the out of there and I gave Ari all my things so but Ari has like you said no

02:34fish nothing and then he has financial freedom because he's got the you know the the show on Comedy Central he's got a great podcast he's got all the kind of going on and then he also has this attitude that allows him to do something like that because I don't have those three things I think the financial freedom I got but I have these three dependents I have two dogs and I have I don't have the attitude like if I'm not working non-stop I feel crazy you should tell people what you're talking about cuz a lot of people that are tuned in to this podcast probably don't realize that our re our good friend checked out of civilization for three solid months at least right I think maybe more first of all he's rocking a flip phone he won't he doesn't have any apps oh he doesn't he has no smartphone but then he just decides to go away and check out no one's communicated with them you know

03:31we're sort of in business together on this all things comedy thing and he's on our board of directors and I need to tell him about and didn't even bother like he we did a Skype and he's like I'm gone and then people on his show the Comedy Central show they're trying to get hold of him nobody can get a hold of our mm-hm and he loves it and me if I seriously I had to buy books like you know I read a lot of Jack Reacher I really really yeah you know that best character of all time yeah yeah six foot four 240 pounds I know Tom people associated with the Tom Cruise movie but like this guy is most badass he's a military cop yeah how is Tom Cruise a little tiny dude he just optioned the movies think that's I what happened my uncle skip Tarantino came up to me I didn't even know anything about Jack Reacher and my brother's wedding and he walks up and he goes can you

04:24believe they made Tom Cruise Jack and I go what are you talking about there's a problem and he broke the whole thing down because let me tell you somethin bout Jack Reacher Jack reaches six foot four Jack Reacher like this total badass easy he's in expert marksman he's ten steps ahead he's a big numbers guy this kindly child created the perfect character but so I read all those books but I have to force myself to read those books so I can chill the out because again and this is something that people of other comics have pointed out I can't be alone with my own thoughts why is that I don't know because fed some crazy happen lately dad passed away a lot of comics have passed away of friends with ton of comedians that of Freddie Soto was one of my good good buddies he's gone too but dude I started comedy with passed away early on so my you and Freddie Soto

05:27passed me a you know got me sponsored at The Comedy Store yeah and I was very close to him like me and Sebastian were as openers and so I think that might have something to do it's like I'm trying to it's a lot of great stuff happening but I feel like I distract myself with work so I just keep busy as do you enjoy work I love it I love this satisfaction of I don't know like making stuff and having people you know enjoy it so you feel like I mean it seems like you love doing stand-up like when I see you at the store and you're going up looks like you're having a great time I just have a great time hanging out with other comics I love the Comedy Store I love what the Comedy Store is I love what it always has been I love how it's had this resurgence I love the fact that they don't let everybody in there yeah yeah isn't that great it is great there's a lot of people that

06:16are trying to get in there and they're like yeah we're good yeah and there's a lot of comics then you think are great commits he had a weird thing like she didn't pass Louie like that's that's crazy and then there was a gatekeeper Tommy there for a while who wouldn't pass like was holding a torch for mitzi and what her you know when he had a weird thing with black guys like he was not the best dude but now this animated has come and I'm being so polite yeah so but then I love the fact it like me and you got to hang out at then back bar like that they made that for us yeah was really that's within the last two years they made this 50 guys don't know what we're talking about they they made this video room that was just a room in the back behind the kitchen and is that the comics love hanging out here let's create a special little back bar for just for the comedians and their friends

07:09and we get to have conversations in there and you had some weird thing somebody told me the other night when I was in there like some chick was in here taking pictures no she's filming oh yeah you see filming toss Santino and I having a conversation and Brian red band caught her filming yeah you can't do that see that's like we can't do that but it's a private bar yeah like you're not even supposed to be back there unless you're a comic or a friend of a comic exactly so and that's great for us cuz you know not we like I enjoy talking to people as much but sometimes it just gets overwhelming hands and also I want to have a conversation with you or any of my friends a real one yeah normal conversation you can talk at length to somebody and you can't do that and it's like you're getting interrupted non-stop just again happy - I'm still the type of guy after

08:01shows I'll go out say hello to everybody talk you know and die but when all my friends are around that's one of the great parts about the Comedy Store and again another part about the Comedy Store is then you had to get past yet to be a paid regular yeah yeah yeah yeah it is also that there's like there's a bunch of hot spots there where you you get stuck like if you're trying to do your set and you're leaving the back bar and you're trying to get to the o.r and you going through that hallway you'll just get stuck by people with cameras they just want to take pictures they just wait they're just waiting like owls ready to swoop down snatch our rabbit there's waiting waiting waiting there's our magical and this is al can I get a picture can I get a picture al you like I got to do my set and you're like literally walk outside just real quick just real quick like walking to the

08:47stairs I've seen it yeah it's like crush it really is when it's the the Comedy Cellar in New York and the Comedy Store in Los Angeles are the best comedy clubs in the country and if you're a comedy fan listening this and you you got to make the trip they really do because it's worth it on Tuesday night Wednesday night Thursday night you're gonna see an amazing show yeah it could be in a stadium yeah oh yeah for sure yeah I mean some of the show some of the lineups like you guys have a show there next Wednesday all things comedy it's um you bur cry sure who else is on no I'm actually not even on exciting you know Mexico oh I get no it's it's Bert and Bill and then you know a couple other ATC comics unite see but the last one we did you did and then Sarah Silverman was on it their nose so it was you Sarah Silverman Eddie Pepitone like this great major was on that one yeah yeah

09:41third Seine yeah uh is it's it's a great great place to hang out so I love that and I love doing stand-up and I love like hanging out with my friends and that's a huge part but you feel like you're distracting yourself with work I brought something you made a great point the other night because I we were talking about having an assistant you go I don't want to be busy enough to have an assistant yeah I don't want to be that busy when I get to assistant level and I start thinking about assistant you take it down well that's my manager they came up to me and I said we think you should get an assistant I said I'll I'll definitely start doing less I go let's just stop doing whatever I'm doing that I'm doing too much so I need an assistant just stop and I like well sometimes it's hard to get a hold young but that's on purpose yeah like do you understand that like

10:28Bill Murray has a 1-800 number to because he yeah if you want to get a hold of Bill Murray you get the 1-800 number and then maybe he'll call you back really yep so you people leave messages on the 1-800 number or something yeah Wow if you're I mean if you're calling about him being in a major motion picture that's how you get a hold well Bill Murray apparently checked out of relationships a few years ago we said no more relationships I don't want a girlfriend I don't want a wife I'm done he has a kid I guess apparently he's got an older kid yeah checked out and he moved to like North Carolina or South Carolina like one of those places and Anthony Bourdain interviewed him on his show you know he had him on a show he's like what are you doing down here he's like I love it it's great you go nice yeah and he also for a while was living in upstate New York like up the Hudson he would

11:19live up there same sort of deal just just I'm done like I'm just gonna live in weird spots and buy myself so that's another reason why I'm working my ass off is I want that I'm done you money and I want to be able to chill out I got kids on the back end of this thing where they're almost out of the house like I'm looking forward to that where they're both going to be in college right trying to get these little ready for life to the point where they don't need to come back because you hear a lot of people are living in their homes with their parents until they're 30 and later what the is that about not acceptable I'm gonna push you out the door now someone is 36 not good yeah what well they're making life is too good I guess yeah it's wheezing yeah there's no I was listening to dr. Drew talk about this on Howard Stern wrap-up show and he was saying like kids don't have grit mmm is he grit

12:14associate dr. Drew with grit well you're just you know he knows about you know hustle hustle and he goes my kids are coddled but he thinks the only thing is the educational system pushing education makes somebody work their ass off if you don't have that inner drive and reason like you getting with me and this was war also if you don't see a therapist I probably should because I got a lot of stuff going on but my mom was cleaning houses in making $6 an hour my dad Teamster warehouse Foreman and they you know what poor growing up lower middle class and then went to the school he sent me to school in San Francisco with all these rich kids so I was in all these rich houses and houses in the people you know San Francisco at Pacific Heights is really nice and sold it now it's like twelve million dollar houses that's we were hanging out yeah parents would abandon them on the

13:12weekends and we'd have run of these houses just crazy like my buddy broke thousand dollar vase like let's get out here well I know pay for and we were in all these I was like smoking some guys Cubans on sitting in his chair I'm a kid from the Inner Sunset District who shouldn't be all these places but I think that's what little fire under my ass because I'm working for the my mom eventually has this great rags to riches story where she was working at this company and then she became an account rep and then she became the head account rep then she began to vice-president then she bought the company and quadrupled the company in size Wow and that's where I went to work for her even though I wanted to be a stand-up comic I go to work for her I am firing people for a living which is a whole nother thing and just said I really was forced into this very tough my dad and

14:10my mom were very brutal half Mexican half Sicilian that's what I am and then my mom Sicilian like just the youngest sister in a with all boys in the family just a brutal lady who's like can't tell me how I tell you how many times she said like him just him okay they're gonna conquer you know just a client giving her like no them and they don't appreciate me you that that's like so was like that with us and then my dad same thing they found each other for a reason because they both have that attitude and so I was working there and then I was supposed to be this eldest son taking over this family business so when I met you in 1999 you came up to my apartment which was in Telegraph it was a nice apartment I'm like the opener with a great place and I lived I had a wet bar okay yeah yeah good spot yeah we smoked pot and watch old Oprah's old Oprah's with a chick big hair huge hair

15:14no work done at all just old Oprah baked watching old Oprah I had even my like I had just met my wife at that point and so this is yes it's 1999 and I was working a regular job so I would do shows on the weekend host at Cobbs or the punchline and go right back to work and at one point I think I remember the world started to collide like I'm doing stand-up and I look out ever he's laughing except like three dudes with their arms crossed I'm like oh fired those cash yeah yeah old-time dudes that you fired were sitting in the audience or said at you yeah started make it into Stanley did they go to see you know I don't think it'll happen nobody found me yeah Wow it must have been steaming yeah just like that guy everybody's like having a good set and look at just one dude scowling at me so how creepy was that didn't mind you yeah yeah know what I I had such a

16:11good attitude at them when I was like hey fellas how are ya yeah it's a little weird huh did you talk about it yeah oh Jesus - I definitely acknowledged him and said hello like I knew their names and you didn't say like hey I fired you know no I when I did around talking to everybody in the entire room which I probably would do now not experienced enough to handle it when I met you how long had you been doing stand-up a year oh wow that's great I just said my 19th anniversary was a catana Tuesday wow that's crazy first Tuesday in May we did my first set went up in front of like half homeless people in San Francisco at Cobbs know at this place called the luggage store which was on Market Street Wow tenderloin full tenderloin walked up I worked with you the first time I did the old cobs yeah that place was great we got matched up because it was Tom Sawyer used to like to like he like

17:07would make matches of he really proud I was he would pride himself in creating lineups that people like people would go together yeah and let me just tell you something it worked once with you that's it all the other times were disaster because I heard about it afterwards like even when I was up there because I'd find him like hey what's up like is this guy like you're just totally in yeah he put me with this oh yeah he put me with some with you know there's some people that you think have potential and then they just don't you know we've all we met guys like that I mean there's a few guys that I could use to come up with them used to come but I open for you was Maddie Kirsch yeah right sure and then Eddie Bravo came on well he'd come to hang there was a note he was known any stand-up but he was like totally come to hang and then um I think it was down here that I met

18:01Bryan and then Bryan started going around with you they're super early on yeah that was when I was back in here in like 2004 ari and Duncan but that was the new cops as once they started moving to the spot in the old one I think it was just mad yeah Maddie Kirsch yeah early days like Maddie curse stopped doing stand-up for a long time I think he's done I think he just completely stopped he stopped he started doing TV stuff he stopped doing stand-up then he went back to it again but I never saw him you know I think he's done yeah I don't think you can dick around with that I was with me and my buddies for watching Tim Allen come back yep and you know what I didn't what I mean he was such a nice guy and like he watch you know he says he watch my sad and came up said bunch of stuff afterwards you're super cool to me and it was so rough watch that set this was like he

18:52made all these Santa Clause movies and he made a home in Alishan and me and Kevin Christie sent about the and said you know what let's do something through this guy and we wrote him nine pages of jokes and just I just I go here you go and handed him to him really and he goes thank you oh my god and then we came back the next night and he did a bunch of the got an applause break I want my wife's names like felt so that's so cool that's I saw him one night at the comedy store when he hadn't done stand-up in forever and he came back and he was doing a joke about his Ferrari breaking down yeah last I wanted people who's late to and listen him don't do that ever just don't do that I don't care if it's about a Ferrari breaking down don't tell everybody you have a $250,000 car well that's a big George Carlin thing is that when he got so we'll the-- and he had people going

19:41to the post office for him he's like I can't do the post office but now because I don't even go to the post office and I can't talk about the bank because I never go to the bank for myself and that's a like you got to do all your own and you stay relatable it's goes the other way too I was in New York and when I was out there and a comic goes up and he was like because you know he's doing angel dust like nobody knows nobody knows what you're doing angel dust were you talking about but talk about a niche audience yeah totally so you know stand up like Matt jumped out it's like I don't think you can jump out like it's one of those things where you can but god damn you love it like Dana Gould jumped out for a long time and wrote for The Simpsons and you came back you can do it but you know arguably Dana Gould should have been a huge superstar as a stand-up comedian

20:27using that San Francisco guy who was like I listen to you if you guys don't know that comic is I mean again go find it because so good so many voices so many characters so smart stories like why met have been Boston 88 holy and he was already big then like he was a headliner then and doing really well he was like Rodney Dangerfield young comedians special big right like he was a he had a Showtime special I remember that he had a Showtime special before I moved to LA as I remember watching it and it was really interesting was like the way he did it was like kind of unique the way shot it was unique and it was good it was really good I don't like this guy's got to be giant and I figured it was going to be like from there HBO specials from their giant theaters from there you know he was going to go the Brian Regan route you know he's selling out all of these Pierce's but it just

21:20married the woman who began it becoming the president of HBO done it good only I have another thing one headshot per household yes dude if you see like two I think Tom Segura and Christine are the ones that can pull it off too the only ones yeah I've not seen anyone else do this successfully and I'm still standing back like this on that one okay this might blow up she got this you got it all right yeah over here well there was a kid on the daily show that him and his wife audition for The Daily Show at the same time and he got it and she didn't yeah she almost learn fun time in that house not good not good at all if somebody starts becoming super popular and then the other person is like oh what do i do like rosetta Kirsch do it jump out now or to find other work that's also been a difficult thing with me so back to what we were talking about it's like so now I leave this parents

22:21family business and I come to LA I could have again I could have been up there and miserable with you know firing people non-stop and like taking on other people's problems because that's what I did is like if you have a business or you work somewhere we'd employee everybody working there so you didn't have to deal with any of the headaches but then I got all the headaches so I've been chased like I had a guide who was a Taiwanese like you sick this bad he was working in doctor's office but on the weekends we found out he was pretending he was the doctor we've seen patients with his own patients but he was a physical therapist in the orthopedist office so I go in there and I've been doing this a while and again I've been in so many awkward situations now I'm doing stand-up and I'm even more awkward situations and I just go up and I go hey Tuan you know

23:15jig is up that code today's your last day we found out what you're doing he grabs me puts me up against the wall he gets one of those physical therapy sticks you know that they big like the pole that you stretch with behind your back and stuff and he has one of those cut in half and he sticks it right up to my throat and now I'm cool and so I go Tuan I got you got two choices here you're gonna hit me with that stick and I'm gonna call the cops and I'm a press charges you're gonna go to jail somebody pissed that you hit me with that stick or you take the final check that's in my breast pocket right here and walk away what's gonna be and I'm held up against a wall by my throat with the stick in my face and so had some crazy situations what did you say to him you said the jig is up yeah well doctor yeah I go hey hey dude you shouldn't be here right now what did we know you see

24:09response no this is not true decent you know I can just like you gonna clearly spoke English yeah secure physical therapist you're banging chicks too I have no idea I would liked it to be that way yeah it's a better story do you wait to heal you not unless my car so I had Russian nurses running from me and just crazy stories like why would they try to do to you well this Russian nurse was in an allergist office and she was giving wrong doses to the kids and stuff of shots roaches oh I don't my documentation like these yellow pads that goes there's uh you can see right I'm 22 years old you can see right here then she tries to grab it now it's a tug of war across a desk and I don't know what the is going on and she takes off and runs down the hallway and I'm 22 I I run down the hallway afterward and she goes into a patient room and then she locks the door and

25:03then I get door opener somebody unlock and she's in there and she's talking to her husband on the phone she goes Andrew there is a man here who's telling me lies he's telling me lies and I didn't want to tell you this but I am pregnant and I'm going to lose the baby because of these mom totally freaking out oh my so I had a tea to teach a bunch of Vietnamese people had a there was one day I got awake a call yeah I got a call from the issue well they were amongst okay you know among is like this if you saw a gran torino that movie with Clint Eastwood I think the H is silent I think yes moms Yeah right the H M o un jeez yeah and then there are people without a land yeah and then they call came to San Jose California to work in assembly plants so they're in this cable assembly plant a plant called cable Co that was a big client ours and I got a call from this

26:05really cool guy's name is chip chip Bronk because al you got to get down here you're not going to believe it I got a situation and I go what is it he goes better you see go to the bathroom everywhere well that's because they had never been used to toilets so they were standing on the toilet seats I found out that's what was going on they all had fake names like the name is fook Li but you can call me Keith sounds like hey Keith fluke Li can you come here for a second connect with the everywhere like on the ground yeah they were missing the toilet seat is not that hold you up so they're waddling up they were standing on the standing on the toilets so what they were just used to like in the ocean in homes oh my lucky you know in the woods or whatever so nobody sees surprise so you're lucky if the nylon you were the olden forever so yeah just backed up his chickens a brick yeah so on

27:07anyway I gathered everybody around I just appointed a bathroom monitor oh my god bathroom monitor so I had one of the guys who was a supervisor I had a clipboard I put a lock on the bathroom door and then she you become this corporate fixer that's what I was doing and I always wanted to do stand-up comedy I love stand-up comedy I grew up in the city which is listening to comedians on the radio and all the great comics was to comics who lived on my block and so I love lived on your block Mike Pritchard and Michael Mian two great comics Mike Pritchard one the first San Francisco Comedy Competition and Rob Williams looked up to him he was like Roberts that was his idol and he was on my block and you know Monty Hoffman yeah money Hoffman I'd be eight years old on my bike and I Drive down the block and Monty Hoffman and Mike Pritchard used to put their t-shirts

27:55over their heads you know you can do like just a face pops out of the hole and they used to pretend they were the California raisin guys like you guys are hilarious this is amazing they lived on your block on my block and I remember where's Prichard no I think he's a motivational speakers still up in the Bay Area at the lewd lives in Marin he came to the last night at Cobbs comedy club in that little spot why I stopped doing stand-up I just speaks Wow weird yeah so um well you know that's another tempting thing for me too is because I do a ton of corporate stand-up hmm you can get paid you know five figures too deep five figures to speak at 3:30 p.m. and do stand-up at a thing and you know if your stand-up career like you're in a good spot because people come to see you like I'm still at the stage where I go out and 40% other people there come to see me and it's a

28:53weird cross-section of people who love stand-up or you know heard me you know heard me on Bert's podcast or your podcast you know whatever and then it's a weird cross-section of daily show people and then sitcom people and then you know what I mean is weird crowd coming together and then it's some people like comedy it's that Stanhope it brought people how many people came here to see me and that and how many people came here to see comedy yeah and as like music isn't like that and so for me to do a corporate gig and pay get paid gazillion you know like a lot of money is tempting to switch over to that side so I could see why people do that what's what Jay Leno did he just gets paid 250 grand that's why he doesn't put out any content Jay Leno doesn't have the same Act he has no he has no like body of work like he had a Showtime special that he did that I saw in the 90s and I'm pretty

29:50sure other than his Tonight Show monologues which of course is numerous I think that's the last stand-up that he ever put out as far as like eight like a full act talk to him about it yeah he's got a weird philosophy about it I did random randomly got a phone call to present him with his Mark Twain Award at the Kennedy Center oh wow it was me Seinfeld Jimmy Fallon Seth Meyers at all coins like crazy people's you know Wanda Sykes you know and I had no business being there Chelsea Handler we did whatever just like all stars and I had never met him before and I think they just wanted to color it up but I'm gonna say yes because it's Kennedy Center and so for super cool and I got hair and I meet him for the first time and then my act was it's like what are you doing like you have two hundred and fifty million dollars or something like that and you still every Sunday you go

30:53to the comedy magic club you don't turn over your act you got separate comedy money and TV money and this car collection no what what do you do what like just chill out man yeah and I could you give me the four million dollars you never see me again and it goes sold I think I had for the balcony and then we had a long conversation about it afterwards which was super weird and talked about and it's that exact same thing that you just discussed his in it he has an act that he wants to keep doing and if it never appears on TV you gotta go see him to see it yeah and so people get mad when they see him twice oh yeah like he was in Edmonton he did the River Cree and then he did it again a year later and he did the same act and the people that were bad well that's just it means for those old-school guys that's how you did it I mean it's not a no-knock against him that's how

31:51everybody did it Catskills guys yes and vaudeville those guys would do the same act for 10 years and it was also you could do other people's acts yes right yeah they just did they did that you know the name of social media when the Abbott and Costello did who's on first on TV 20 other guys were pissed because they also did that exact same bit really yeah and they're like thank Allah sex a lot fellas I could never do that thing so who's on first wasn't an avid costello original were there 20 other duets doing that exact same material Wow yeah so now it's Jay Leno of course is carrying that trishy you're pissed when I started in San Francisco this great guy Jimmy Cornette who ran the punch line we were talking about other people coming through and not changing their act and he goes dude you need a new 20 minutes at least every time you come through here people are gonna be pissed

32:59they want to see the hits and it's what Bobby Slayton would say as we go see the stones you want to see brown sugar but you got to mix in some new every once in a while too with comics I feel like they're less want to see the hits more than anything like with music like they actually just want to see the hits like if you go to see the stones they don't want to hear any new stones stop that yeah what satisfaction yeah but if you go to see burr you want to see all his new stuff yeah you're familiar with this stuff you saw his last Netflix exactly yeah yeah it's interesting so that keeps you creative keeps you fresh you have to constantly be hustling totally yeah it's uh that's what I'd say when I saw you the other night when you did that ATC show you had that funny no fagina been good thanks man that was because again and that's another thing it's like you grow

33:53up in San Francisco when you become like you see guys coming through and I watch I want to see everybody so I lived in between comms and the punch line and that's where I did if you Gino outliers 10,000 hours mmm yeah walked to the cops I know for I did this for maybe 13 months straight almost every single night I walked the cops then I'd walk to the punch line and I saw every single act I saw Damon Wayans Carlos Mencia it's Scott you know from the kids in the hall what's-his-face got to Thompson yeah I said just anybody would come through I go see I can see every single night i watch the good ones I took something from everybody but then I sort of watch people come through a second time and not change anything I start to watch features that were better than the headliner and feature you know the conversation over in the corner and if I can just watching at all and it's again

34:45you see what you know people are doing and how much work people put into this it's a tremendous amount of work but to do the bits also and that's another thing is like San Francisco you they wouldn't put hacky comics up right they wouldn't get to play there are Sawyer wouldn't work here you didn't think you just would for good reason yeah I really shade that about him it's one of the reasons why I was willing to go back to his club so many times yeah so again that's when you come to LA you're like the is this there's some of that like what we were talking about we don't need to name any names with that one person who just memorizes a bunch of and says it fast and then you're like okay what what are you doing you're you're ruining the night a lot of tricks yeah tricks you're saying a bunch of pop-culture references and a bunch of but there's no like you know it's

35:36so hard to be judgmental about someone else's craft or art but there's times when you know whether someone or not is actually trying to work something out or whether to trick the audience yeah so there's a bunch of stuff you guys that you can do to elicit laughter yeah you can memorize a huge string it's called a yeah it's a string yeah you can just rattles you get done and then they pour oh my god big applause no matter what I did I think what I did after would you do this well sometimes okay I'm sorry I don't want to be like this you guys I just want to read read Jack Reacher on my deck and chill out and I bought that F j62 Land Cruiser and I want to just I want to get a little trailer behind that I want to go to Big Sur with my wife's go chill out by the ocean feel out yeah I want to be that guy but you're not but I'm not and I'm not I really want to become it

36:32anyway I followed that yeah one comic we're talking about and I walked out and I go how about it I go name I go what was that last applause break all about did she offer to donate some money to charity just weren't no reason I shouldn't have died just yeah you shouldn't talk well I did the only time you should talk is when someone's doing something negative like stealing yeah you know I mean we've all been there before we see someone go up and you okay that's not even your act yeah yeah like you just happens you know less now than ever before don't you think this is like the cleanest time for comedy as far as like you still hear little stories pop up here and there but I think it's also now it's like subjective and there's a lunch so much stand up I was like I have this our special coming out um this weekend on Showtime and I just think it talked to

37:31somebody about it and there's a special coming out like every to taste yeah they're not that special anymore or not but it's a great time for content like if you want to see comedy like you go on netflix or showtime or seaso or any of these different providers to see so yeah Stan that stanhope special and I watched the in dimension as a go the Doug Stanhope special on see so if you have not seen this I feel like is one of the best things I've ever seen and I walked in to the comedy club and I saw punch line for the very first time and I saw arch barker on stage kill just he's great comic he's just murdered and I had the same feeling that when I watched that Doug stand how special no just I haven't seen it I didn't see it my god the bill just again and it's like next-level that I hope people can really appreciate the callbacks and the intricacies of this

38:32whole thing and the story and somebody who's working on something and saying something like but Doug did two of them in his hometown his did them both in Bisbee right yeah this is one that was shot in Bisbee by Hannegan you know it's I still love the fact he's doing that like we talked about it a couple years ago I can't work in my town I gotta see these people at the Safeway yeah and then apparently just said it why not why can't I do it in my town and then eventually his town stopped being the town it was and as a bunch of people moved there because they know what Doug lives there oh dude first of all he's a real estate mogul he but every house that comes up they're all like $30,000 he just buys it he's just buying houses so he owns like I think he wants six or seven houses in town this is not a notion of a jack reacher now yeah where he's gonna own the town

39:21that's only good luck dude vy got divorce I thought I'd seriously consider moving there there's a ready house I'm looking at it's a cave no way the house in a cable that's built into a cave oh yeah yeah now I can buy people know that shot my dog dude let's do deep deep in your cave but he so many people move to bit he's to give out his address and say come to my Super Bowl party so people would come from all over the world to his Super Bowl party it was ridiculous it'd be 500 people that he didn't know at his house for a Super Bowl party um he stopped doing that he rescinded that in for invitation that's what me and Burt we're talking about is doing a kill thing called a caravan comedy tour and getting a bunch of RVs our trucks and trailers and just going bunch of guys because also it's like it is a special kind of comic you're one of those comics it's

40:16like you've give kids you have a family of life you have stuff outside of stand-up you know it's like to get those guys together and Burt is one of those you know we're just like you have a couple kids and like get the kids and the wives it takes a lot to be a comedian wife right and they all have that in common so I'm sure everyone will get along great because they have to deal with us and so the wives and the kids everybody in RV and then we all go out and do shows and then everybody gets to go to the Grand Canyon the next that's not a bad idea bad idea ahlian yeah let's do it Duncan we talked about doing Duncan so many kids I know but still dog who we still be fun on the road yeah in a very nice yeah that's a great idea man so you know I just wanted an excuse to buy one of those airstreams totally I just think they look badass well I build upon your FJ 62 oh my god

41:07yep don't think I haven't been I got it I guess business cards I'm looking at there's a place called off-the-grid rentals and just to test out but it's too small it's like this tear dropped it's a four by forty dollars you can put a rooftop tent on top it has the ladder that goes up yeah and then I could just have everybody I'm thinking I want a little bit more surreal one well I've been going to the difference is sports mobile if you go to sports mobile comm which is through they've been doing it for a long time but you can get one of those Dodge Sprinter vans a diesel like tricked-out yeah and get that 4x4 word out and just go and then you could still tell some stuff so there's this company called what is the company called there's an expedition vehicle that they take and they take like a Ford f250 and then they put this thing on top of the roof like

41:58the like above the front cab it goes up and then back exactly thing it's got solar power and a generator and you can live in those gangs it's only to rock there's the rock climber guys you look at that thing Jesus Christ oh my god I'm in love the little rooftop tent yeah and a jock well they do that - they take vans and there's a company called u-joint off-road they take a van like that they remove the natural suspension or the suspension that comes with it and put a full on dual solid axle four-wheel drive suspension setup in and huh and you could just drive that girls sports mobile comm and take a look at this now because this is what they used to do and they're still doing with some of these the the vans will do this which is amazing words but if you look at what they're doing with the Mercedes and the Dodge Sprinter that's when it just goes up to a whole nother level

42:56downsize the other sites down oh yeah but you can see some yeah look at it chugging yeah I like yeah but like III have those same ideas yes I do go on these trips from my gym where I go out you know I'm in the woods five six days at a time and most the time there's no cell phone service I just did Bourdain with the crew that you guys shot with in Montana oh yeah yeah what'd you do I did his uh no reservation yeah well it's called um where they call now parts unknown parts unknown yeah where'd you go would you say it was Mexican food down and Olivera Street oh nice nice yeah we want bird hunting in Montana fun gesturing that defi that guy still goes hard yeah hard like a ram throwing them back we got so high I thought I could feel the earth spinning well he'd just come from he was super late I got drunk if you watch this person no time wasted really

43:53people like wise a man whose eyes closed yet come super drunk he was four hours late and I just went to bars with that crew while we were waiting for him cuz he got a tattoo and then he showed up super late and then we ate taquitos and by the time he got there I was just trashed Hey Baby this lightweight of all time it really is true I did a show with you at the comedy magic club we walked around the corner and got baked with red band and then I went back in and I had apologized to your audience I go yes I understand I don't so busy I am being able to get baked like I used to and I just snuck up on me the is going on we can stock up on you can sneak up on you easy today yeah and like people are productive like Doug Benson is a productive he gets a lot done I can't speak I'll just leave that there all right yeah I get it you mean some people are much more comfortable like

44:54Joey Joey Diaz is constantly in that state I saw him I don't know who sent me a picture of it if it was somebody showed me something that using the doodles big gummy bear dude that has 3000 yeah 3,000 milligrams milligram yeah of THC in that thing he'd like chomp the head off he does that all the time he stopped doing that though by the way Joey stop he backed off the edibles oh really yeah just you see that's all that I can tax oh yeah yeah I can't I have such I'm waking I just went to the doctor a little bit of health care and this is two days ago because I've been waking up in the middle of night out of breath oh yeah oh you probably have sleep out there at that or I got a sleep study that's two being done and then they're saying I have anxiety and we definitely am anxiety yeah a lot of it you ever thought about doing like yoga or anything um I try to go to the gym I go

45:46to the gym like every morning but I don't like I need to meditate and people have talked to me about Transcendental Meditation stuff like that that I need to settle the down yeah but you know that you have this thing and you're not doing anything I'm not doing anything about it and the doctor said that this is good now you're finally being compelled to talk about it with somebody that this is a problem and you feel like you're angry at yourself for being so anxious cuz if I go to the airport with my wife and kids I can feel it I feel my sigh I feel myself freaking the out Wow what do you freak it like what's the thought what are you worried about to get through and everybody slowing us down I go early I know that's what I started doing that's what I'm like trying to prepare myself was huge just leave an hour earlier than you need to and you get myself funny at it and I

46:40still look at my wife from like and the last couple times like doing pretty good to me working on it that's weird seems like maybe you were set up for this from like your early career like this like tension yeah you know and then the desire for success like to be a successful comic is a lot of hustling and there's a lot of like you got a you got to be on your point you got to be on your game you gotta go poke around can around oh god go go go and now with ATC again I feel so much responsibility for all these comics means ooh we have 50 podcasts we have 50 of commuter I'm not thing down for sure I tried that's another thing we getting brother down calls I did 20% at least right um everybody is like okay here's here's a perfect example like Ian Edwards has a podcast called soccer comic I'm not gonna I love Ian Edwards to death right mm-hmm he's on that now I don't care for people

47:36listening that show he's on that network I don't give a yeah I feel the same way and so I don't care about the numbers as much as I believe in the comics like there's two comedians Michael Kosta Mike and Chris Fairbanks that I want to start making TV like they're not on TV right cost is a funny dude this is a funny and I have a great story with Kosta so this is how we met me and Bill burr first comes to Comedy Store sees me we become friendly then sees me on stage did some bit about how my wife's half Korean half Greek and I go I might have this Korean mother-in-law on and I don't do any jokes about her because then I'd be doing Margaret Cho's Jedi act and who wants that that's it's a he loves it and I can't that's hilarious so we go now I'm at the point in LA you guys like I'm doing spots I'm not doing anything else and so working on these TV shows as much as I can but when I'm not

48:47I'm at The Comedy Store two sets then I go to Lana Factory then I go to the improv I'm doing that triangle and I'm hitting them all and I think Ice House like I'm going everywhere I'm a guy's doing like 12 sets a week and this is from 2004 until I get the daily show pretty much like this is a good solid six or seven years of just trucking going and then go to the improv and a bill again new I go let's go to the improv let's go down there and so he jumps in my car we drive down the improv it's a show that they're doing where they show a sketch comedy video and then they bring up a stand-up and then they show a sketch comedy video and I stand up and my cost is the host so I go up in between these sets and I look at them and I go hey do you know if they're going to show another video are they going to bring me up and then he responds I forget what he says but then

49:39he goes up onstage and he goes okay this next comedian is um I guess it's al Madrigal if you want me to pronounce your name right you got to come introduce yourself to me before the set I can't be expected to did I don't know if it's a guy or a girl and I'm on the side losing it and I go you and he goes what and I go you heard me this is roomful it's Asian night or something like there's all these Chinese people there that's how I go everybody turns and I go you heard me you I go do your job I introduce myself to you let's just get the off stage like yeah and I know what cuz he's like gotta know if it's a guy or a girl who are you I go dude you're the host figure it out right so I walk up and I proceeded to just lay into them just 15 minutes are about who's the other girl you're the host it's all you have one job to do bills hunched over laughing on the side like

50:47on all the comics in the back are just see there's tables in the back are on the floor and it's it was a it's Asian night this is the worst crowd I've ever seen that little it's just going crazy and I can't help it again if anyone's listening like this guys naswa I don't want to be I want to do that right it just came out I felt like I get uncontrollable bursts of telling people yes yeah yeah eNOS yeah right yeah and I could I could have gone I'm right here sorry about that right magical no problem right just bring me out the but that puts you in a bad position you go up there like sort of yeah like they can submitting yeah it's Willie Barcena had those stories about like head-butting somebody in the hallway because they brought up Charles Fleischer instead of him you know he well it's crazy well that's another thing I think I told that story last time I was on his

51:44podcast where I told him to off and he's an East LA street fighter so I yeah it doesn't matter I'm like when I see red I saw everybody you right so anyway um me and my Casta very good friends to this day I came up I mean I see one the error in my ways right away I apologize ago dear so sure yeah control I'm sorry I say crazy to people and so again well you and I have never had a weirdness no never had a weird moment I'm I didn't sir happens with very few people but when it does well you've when you feel slighted yes yeah yeah I've never slighted you like we 0 and if you know no you haven't yeah but yeah I don't know again I want to just just what consider yeah I know I know that feeling though there's a feeling especially like the anxiety before you're performing you're you're ready to go and then somewhat you feel like someone's with you and you're like oh

52:43okay I've had that happen before where a host will purposely say some dickey things about you thinking they're going to chop down your set I've done the same thing I just go after him upset totally yeah um losing Brendan Schaub told me stories like he to people because you know he's a big guy and stand-ups news stand up somebody went up on stage at The Improv and he said he said who the is that guy like you can't be that handsome and like start just tearing into I'm like for being like missing a fighter - yes yeah for you yeah well it was Erik Griffin was it yeah yeah he's just around yeah it's just like that's what you say you know the guy goes up and he does stand-up and he's got this perfect haircut yeah okay you you know Erik goes up with a spare tire around his waist and Molly always a big jolly guy yes the out of here with this baddie with glasses a moustache I

53:39understand things kind of great what's that he looks like he puts on the glasses and mustache together I'm pleased it's like when he was doing that I was trying to tell Brendan I go dude that's what we do I go you gotta understand that like you go up you do your set the guy's gonna on you you know I mean that's like well I would have on YouTube probably especially New York same thing though but more in New York if you don't do two or three minutes of what's going on in the room and what just happened you're gonna have a shitty set like that's I would that's what I learned right away you're you'd be like you know start if I can hold everyone's attention and just start launching into material yeah the comment on what's happening you know you know what that is from I noticed that too when I lived in New York I was like that's because the crowds are small and

54:27that stage is small it's way more intimate experience it's like the belly room you know the belly room is a totally different experience in the or which is a totally different experience in the main room it's one of the beautiful things about doing the hat trick at the Comedy Store if you do three rooms in a night you get to feel the different like the belly room is so much more intimate and so much more intense because there's only 70 people in the room and you're jammed in there and they're right in front of you and that's like in New York room so I'm doing that that show on Showtime about stand-up comedy I'm dying up here good to meet that guy in the back that's helping me do you know that yeah yeah he's making that show and we were talking about the belly room and interviewing people about that just to figure out and that used to be it was called a belly room because it was for

55:11women and then like a pregnant women you know like a womb yeah yeah yeah that's like mitts you literally thought of it as a comedy womb yep yeah and then they used to put overflow so if Richard Pryor somebody huge was in the main room they put all the overflow up in the belly room and then a comic would be on stage and they'd come in if like a table opened up they'd go mid mid Act Thompson party for like you you're doing stand-up on stage you know waitress would come and go the Thompson's here and then the Thompson's are sitting in the front they just get up and walk out and go to see Richard Pryor and well Wow so that place you know it's and then I work on that with Eric Griffin so I didn't really know him that well before and hilarious just with people non-stop so he was the guy that sort of but he's a great dude lazy this guy he's not doing it cuz no he's just being silly that's

56:07what I was trying to tell Brett knees like he wouldn't have me hard bro and I'm like that's what we do you like Brendan's new to this whole world you know because he started out doing podcast he's a funny guy and then he started doing these live podcast with Cowan and they would do sort of like a little sketch routine like a comedy routine and then he would do a few minutes on his own just doing kind of stand-up like telling his story and he's funny says he has some funny ideas so now he's doing sets like on a regular basis and then he's doing sets in front of people who don't know which is the right way to do it totally Ned's app things that people do is they only do their own crowd over and over and over again not smart you got to go out and do those shows that I was saying like when you start doing stand-up comedy you invite all your friends out and it takes you three sets

56:55to figure out oh I better stop inviting my friends out yeah do it well I'm not only that but if you invite your friends out in their significant part of the audience I've already seen your jokes yeah exactly it's Google's bad way nearly go I want to make strangers left I want to make complete strangers laugh and if I can do that and it just makes you a better comic I got a bunch of and we were talking about this buoy I got a bunch of for heckling steve-o did you heckle him in the audience he improv I was onstage I told a story I said I don't again I don't want to be this guy I really don't even is a problem and I'm trying I'm gonna go to a cognitive-behavioral that's what the doctor prescribing is cognitive behavioral specialist it's gonna stop me from doing like this really yeah but I said huh I don't feel bad that bad about this I said um he was in the audience and I said all right I

57:51go I don't want to care about stand-up this much I really don't I'm so passionate about this you guys don't understand like I was dick so-and-so stole this joke and sold that joke and I go I just got to come to grips with the fact what I feel like is my life's calling is somebody's else's last resort and uh then because I talk about like Dustin Diamond does stand-up I go you know Skippy from family times to stand out Blake and then people even know what that is anymore I know does he still do it Skippy yeah I think so that's what diamonds in jail Oh table somebody yeah yeah well he was doing stand-up like when family ties sort of ended he was doing stand-up when I was an open mic er I was just starting out and he was headlining these places and that's you know you had this big smile it Skippy from family ties and you just would go on the road but I never heard from him again

58:50yeah I never know what that guy is doing there's gotta at some point the audience just goes away and then people stop booking you and then you have to go away I guess what do you do I don't know job I guess hopefully you invested your money properly and hold on some Real Estate's keep on skipping it's just a real estate Baron no room talks me down and has Callen has talked me down a couple times is like no just relax he's a nice guy don't worry about it Callens a calm guy yeah but you know the thing is like it is your life calling and for some people it isn't some people it's like something that came along after they had been doing a bunch of other stuff but that's okay yeah whatever uh who cares there's an audience yeah there's like a lot of people will say like that guys not really comic but if you're doing stand-up your comic and although most of them don't ever become

59:36comics you respect it's not like it's outside the realm of possibilities you could do it or I could do it how come they can't do it somebody said this about carrot top like that carried around say what you will but that carried around that bag well I'm in time he not only that he he monopolized that genre that was a legit shun room we started out yep remember like there were prop comics I'm in ice buddies with rusty Dooley meritless the Ghoulies my rusty Dewey was a proud caller yeah but there's no prob comics anymore than Carrot Top he killed the genre Wow dude when I first started an 88 there was a you would have a prop comic on every other show three or four shows you do three or four shows one of those shows who would have a prop comic on it now they don't exist anymore so I really feel like in this I'm dying up here we did a good job of bringing all that

60:27stuff back and this is nice set 1973 but we got ventriloquist this I can't wait for you to see the other thing there's no more ventral ghost who killed that um probably dual Jeff Dunham yes so he owns it he owns it he owns it and then there was you saw Otto and George I worked with Otto know many times many times we did prom shows together in New York oh my god tell because people don't know what I don't or jizz thank you maybe you can explain since you worked with them cuz I own the song the puppet would say the most vicious vile racist and then he would go I can't believe you saying that and he go hunt they look at their ladies can take on a hunt yeah just walk an entire room he would say ruthless ruthless here is great guy to dead yeah he died and wide Sawyer had him in that small room and we watched tourists after tours walk away and Tom Soros Tom Sawyer looked at me in

61:26the rest of the comics again or just hunched over on the floor and he goes I'm losing money this weekend guys but this is for us yeah that's great yeah and what his hack was ridiculous we did we did Jersey Shore shows for the sky Bob gonzo we did the I did a lot shows a lot oh they go looking for and crack oh you go you go off yeah it would get crazy but he would get crazy yeah but they're saying so we end of eventual Christmas show we've got like all it's like a bit buggy fights like I get to write on it so I got to incorporate all my weirdness in there and like petty bad intro you that's not yeah well you guys also got 1970s wardrobe and hair which is badass I saw some photos of it my daughter walked out to me and on said didn't say anything about my hair I'm knocking the biggest mustache for you I'll post a picture I'm just rockin the base on it's online

62:23hey Jimmy could probably find it huge real mustache big sideburns and that are mine and then this wig my daughter walks up she goes um why are you wearing a towel Terry question the towels the thing they bother why is your shirt made out of a towel on ours man this kids growing up how are your kids with growing up with like do they know stand-up comic dad like that they're figuring it out yeah I brought my son living in New York bran practicing for a Comedy Central special that I don't think one person saw and I goes an hour half hour what did you do it I did in 2014 2030 so something they gave you once you start doing the dealer surely show special came out and how many times you're ever crying twice midnight on a Friday those yep you burn a special with them yeah yeah this day it's a problem so well you know what and then they're like but you can catch it online at comedy

63:24central.com buddy nobody's going there no one is going there it's not happening I wanted them to do in a reality Netflix some to Netflix or have a billboard really have a campaign that says Dave Attell Jim Gaffigan Joe rogue like all these names of just every comic that you love and watch all available here $2 right like you know what are some like just not gonna do that because no one's going to - it did not like you have to have something on a platform the people already sell em all to see so you have Amazon you have Netflix and you know like Apple that's it you know but no one else is going anywhere else yeah it's just not gonna happen yeah it's too easy to do those things so anyway did I burn that special anyway so on i practicing for that I go up to Rochester in New York bring my wife and kids with me hey we stay in a Holiday Inn & Suites and this is six year old

64:16little girl goes over to the curtains opens him up and she goes um why am I looking at the parking lot echo everybody gather round this is the road okay that's what I do this is what daddy does you think I'm having a great time or they're flying around it really gets sad we're gonna fight a businessman for a waffle tomorrow morning everybody shut up those Rochester Road gigs are rough like those spots where people don't necessarily want to go Albany Rochester wolf yeah it was a bar it is attached to a country-western bar called daisy dukes oh Jesus yeah look that up it was a place in in Youngstown Ohio that I did that was attached to a disco and there was a back door and every time the back door would open up like when people go to the bathroom here and the door would slowly closed okay so it was rough I did this place laughs in Kirkland Washington Washington and I go there and I'm doing

65:29this again if you watch these these like longer stories tangents characters like that for the most part like my closure is 25 minutes long Jesus is special it starts with this is a 2014 special no this is the one I'm doing right now the clothes I wanted comes out the second 20 minutes long yeah so it's just big long bit that I've been working on forever about revenge and my anger and I did seafood revenge a shrimp the place that's why it's called shrimping and easy okay so I'm a just mess and um well I forgot I just got off track and feel as if I can talk about them the road open up the parking lot fighting someone over a waffle Kirkland Washington so I've had Kirkland and big long I'm in the middle of a big long story and they bring out these trays that have neon lights around them with jello shots on them and they stand and everybody in the entire audience looks

66:27at these trays there they look like UFOs they got jello shots on them and I go ladies and gentlemen we're going to interrupt this uh crafted a bit that took me five years to master to bring you jello shots who wants a jello shot let's everybody do jello shots ladies and gentlemen jello shot time and I just started selling the out of jello shots as a bit because I'm like this guy up like this I need everyone concentrating idea was bringing out the Cho shadows owner and the waitresses are bringing out these trades hell you can do this just UFO trays the jello shots at a comedy club at a comedy club lose every single person in the audience it's a standard thing they do I guess so I just went with it and this is like what I do at the end of the night to like to wrap up what this is the big push new tonight we're gonna get some extra dollars in I are confident believe it

67:15was happening I was shocked at the time when the owner comes up like I was serious and he goes holy he goes we sold out of jello shots you were amazing that was unbelievable on and then I walk in the next night he's done more jello shots I mean the kitchen is filled with them oh my god and those jello shots come out and I don't say a thing it's like theory I thought we were business you some Joe shops together yeah we had a good thing going on Aref you know this because hit him and he didn't mention the jello shots what are you doing I go yeah I really talent I really hate the jello shots like I go it was just there was it's horrible you should not be selling them I don't know it's a huge distraction what are you saying there's just a teach you a lesson again if I can sell any jello shots now you weren't pushing them no zero until you just had a huge like kid

68:10yeah and she'll probably explain that to him yeah on the first night and then you would have got it but he probably still would have sold them anyway yeah yeah they made money thank you I met he was a nice guy it was it nice like it was just like it I don't know man like I can't it's hard for me to do and again if you have people coming out that know you and you're going out to see something and you like collectively you're a group of people that love an individual comic it's a great place to be but again if you're up there winning over 60% of the audience look it's not good rather just go hang out the story well it's good to do the road though cause like you can I think like every time you do a set in a new place you get a new experience a new vibe a new feel new crowds new I think places also have like a different personality like I feel like Portland Oregon has a different

69:04personality than a lot of places like you go up to Portland it feels different the audience feels different and then you go to Austin Texas different feeling yeah like a little lighter there a little lighter a little more fun it's more silly I like doing shows in Canada I do too in Toronto one of our best sets I've ever handle entire life Toronto Vancouver is fun for me to go to Canadians are just great audiences I don't know what it is just it's loose they're joining not uptight about it 20% less douchebags really yeah that's my theory about Canada they have 20% less douchebags than us it must be what it is there's always do it for fun yeah but they have 20% less I was in that Vancouver economically mix of comedy makes you a great spot awesome spot and go right to your hotel you know it's in the hotel you go down down to the bottom for walk right into the club all clubs

69:53underground Comedy Works the DC improv if you ever take that old Cobb that we talked about there's just all these great places yep I'll just underground comedy club there's something about it just on anyway so um I think there's three guys in the front row and I look at them and they keep going on the bathroom like just do coke huh no I can't look at the bouncer and I like these guys are clearly doing coke exam no one you shot him in the front row and then because well they paid to sit in the front yeah that is a coke money a coke well Vancouver's a big coke town really yeah it's a big weed town but it's also a big coke town they I was one of the points where I and it's Sunday night after that said and I go after that weekend it's lasts in time hanging out with this great comic up to Graham Clark and bearded guy looks like the young Santa Claus like off you know Vancouver

70:54comics and we go we're having drinks at a bar nearby and these two girls sent over these two shots of Jack Daniels and he's not attractive fella I'm no Brenton job and so we go run yeah really they look over our shoulder for us okay there must have been at the show that's good must have been to jump they wanted to show hmm weird there's a lot chicks in that town maybe they wanted you liver yeah that's what I was thinking that I immediately go to me in the bathtub where I can let them know Oregon's wake up is on you totally classless I'm very suspicious right rocking a wedding ring exactly not People's Sexiest Man Alive you know I'm trying my wife is very attractive but it is what it is I'm not pulling any chicks at ratios and I'm no you know Bryan Callen is outgoing nice guy you're not I'm not Ryan so why is is why they I don't know so then they come over and

71:58this is I've never felt so bad about like I could these two chicks they're hot and I immediately go to we're gonna die like they're trying to drug us and take some and then because I can't under any explanation for it and neither can Graham and so we send them back shots and we don't go over there we're just like okay it's even now and then they come join us at a table and then the one girl starts doctors were like we get the show and they're like what show and then I go under were chit-chatting and the Gwon girl go she goes really want to go to strip clubs right now and that's like walking this is like a drunken fantasy for mates if I can go to strip clubs with these hot chicks and and gram looks at me and I go well I got a flight to catch and I guess I'll just see you guys later I just looking walked away and that's never have that's happened in Vancouver you walk around that city and

72:57there was this place called the cactus Club have you been there no oh my god what is it they cast with headshots they staff their whole place with headshots real it's the most gorgeous women you've ever seen in your entire life working in a place cactus Club that cactus why they call it cactus I don't know where they came a lot of pricks so yeah they it's a lot of just hot chicks and that's when I saw in Vancouver was just drawing in hot chicks I think prostitution is legal Roe do you think there are prostitutes they might have been prostitutes they've got you drinks thinking to get these guys in talks kid look at him he's got glasses on that guy's gay looks like an executive or something some money cat so he's got a whole horse - speaking of I just went to the Beverly Wilshire hotel where's that I did a private gig it's on right at the end of Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills okay and

73:57then it's on Wilshire and it hits and it's an old hotel and me and Tom pompe did a charity gig on Monday night so then me and Tom hit the bar afterwards and proceeded to watch a parade of high-end go through that place picking off old men left and right to the point were like we were just shocked there he was really amazing good-looking ladies well there's that there's that crazy Beverly Hills money you know just the other day I was looking at real estate in Beverly Hills for a goof you ever look at like the red fin app no I love that I love to do that every now and then so if I was gonna move to Beverly Hills let's see what I could afford I'm looking at ding yeah court not that it's all like 17 million dollar house 85 million on million 200 million dude that's exactly what I ate well I went to dinner with my wife and one of her friends her friend's

74:54husband and we went in Beverly Hills and this guy pulled up in a million dollar car hit a Bugatti Veyron it's a million dollar car and it has Saudi Arabian license plates I'm gold plated which is totally illegal it's totally illegal to have Saudi Arabian license plate it's like they're taking these cars they either fly them over or when they put them on a boat they have them registered in Saudi Arabia they bring them to America and they drive around with these plates on it that Palace plates like it said like Palace on the plate and I like none of those guys I don't was there foreign dignitaries because there's so much money yeah like remember that one guy that was like some sort of a foreign dignitary guy and he was banging his maids or it's like forced him to suck his dick or something like that and they called the cops on him and they arrested him and then you know they were gonna

75:42process him and you know charge him with rape and he just hopped in a private jet and flew out of the country yeah and they were saying why did you let this guy go thank you you you like diplomatic immunity was crying diplomatic immunity yeah yeah but forcing me I'm just thinking about my mate is this old Mexican lady foreigners Saudis the money it was like Arnold what he did yet the money in that area in Beverly Hills area is just it's catastrophic it means stratospheric rather it's off the charts like you can't even understand like a guy who makes good money is poor there you're I'm a poor person that yeah I do well but I'm poor there sure is when you get into oil money other people who own money yeah yes and even in the United States when you have people that have been here for so long and generally you know yeah some trumps Mayflower where it's like oh yeah we own we

76:37used to my family used to own Pasadena oh that's another trip you can say we've talked about that is where there was so much money in Pasadena that they put that 210 freeway there that's why it is where it is so they keep the black people on the other side what that's exactly what every way is there where they keep the black people which thought on the other side down north of Pasadena that 210 separates on Altadena that's where the black people are that's where the black before that's why they call crime Adina really they call Altadena crime Adina no way yeah yeah it's rough up there yeah we were playing weird playing this youth basketball league my son was maybe like a fifth grader and that got nicest man in the world who ran the basketball league just got hit by a bullet in the head and dead whoa yeah Pasadena streets there was this Park he got his shot in Pasadena

77:31just straight belit a stray bullet yeah who are they shooting at just each other you know gangs whoa in Pasadena there's gang violence and pass it on you know shitload of it what like you're the Icehouse not near the guy's house ice house is on the right side south side this is a freeway go north of that freeway and go up into the hills right there and there's a shitload of crime shitload Wow I saw there's this place called Villa Park where my son was playing soccer and we went there and I saw guys getting their hair cut in the street like I'm stoked I sit down and just buzzing and dude lines people just giving haircuts in the street everybody watch out like this rough neighborhood we really dudes getting haircuts in the street you're like everybody look alive it's rough it's a lot of Latinos you know and there's also a lot of black on Mexican crime remember when that was happening

78:25in the in LA that Mexican guys were just shooting black people yeah any black people really any of them yep why trying to run them out of neighborhoods whoa yep when you get into like ms-13 yeah that's right starts to kid well that's realize Gary white people get really pro Trump you know they get very excited about Trump and it's ms-13 is one of the things they keep bringing up and all these illegal immigrants sort of these gangs for the most part when you look at all of the people coming in to work um they don't want any trouble sure nobody who everybody wants to keep their head down work these suck and give themselves a chance right oh trouble and with anything there's going to be bad apples there's going to be the guy in San Francisco that everybody keeps referring to we're going to be gang skip but you know what I see everywhere I go that is a huge problem that is going to just

79:27spreading like wildfire meth yeah math oh yeah like when you go meth and adderall by the way adderall's been oh it's a huge problem and it leads people to meth really oh yeah for sure adderall and math are closely related very closely ready if they're both amphetamines I took a half an adderall once and I was like oh yep never doing that again yeah I did I'm Nadia I'm not too good on drugs it's uh I took Freddie sotto gave me an ambien he was an ambien unfortunately yeah that's what did him in wasn't it it had to be sleep a plane crash that yeah he's fat and sick you know drugs when you have a in ya and sleep apnea parents a lethal combination because you don't feel yourself choking yeah he gave me an ambien I we moved I took it I was just like I needed to take a nap and I was all wound up I slept for five hours straight in the middle of the day I was like I'm never taking

80:28that again and then took this adderall and just felt all up and just never I'm bad like I don't think my body I don't know just I don't do anything I was getting really tired during the day and I remember you told me to take some vitamin D and so I started taking a multivitamin and that really helps me and I take a lot of b12 that helps you know what else to help you in a big way cut out all the bread and sugar and carbs bring all that stuff because in the insulin spikes you're not getting these big spikes which is a big reason why people crash the end of the day it's bread bread and pasta all that stuff feel like your body goes to and your body has to process that and you get this big slump as soon as you cut all that out you experience a much even much more even flow of energy through the day yeah so if I could just learn to do like that like I like I'm again I'm such a glutton man

81:27second just uh um bread when the kids with my wife is making gives you have fresh loaves with this artisan bread that she has an inch they may bring peanut butter and jelly and make it seems like I just like a scavenger I'm a family goat like I'll just the crust just forget all the kids Levi that's I don't need something to stop doing ordering food for myself at a restaurant cuz I know they're everyone's gonna leave half their just or order myself a full entree and then somebody will have half a chicken parmesan or something over on it because my son and lino and daughter insist on ordering off the kids menu and so now I got somebody eating a full chicken parmesan but don't only eat half of it and I'm not gonna let that go to waste and so I'll start digging into dad and then there's pasta they're like let me just try one of those raviolis and then all of a sudden I eat like three

82:17dinners like so I weigh more than I ever have waited my entire life right now Wow 193 G's time yeah Wow I think like so again I go to gym got a regular basis and I lift and say like that but yeah I you 193 pounds yeah it's the pasta and bread ban if you just cut all that stuff out you'll drop a shitload of weight right away quit being a family goat that'll help that is you know one of the things we were talking about that I think it's kind of important like when you're talking about immigration and they like bad apples and stuff like that I look at immigration the same way I look at gun control like most people that have guns are law-abiding citizens and it's not going to be a problem the vast vast majority and I think that's the same case with immigration in the same case of people coming to America even illegally they want to do better that's why they're coming here they're

83:07not questions they want to start crime sure they most of them are coming here because they want opportunities with guns I totally agree I want a shotgun so valuing a double-barrel like I want a shotgun yeah and I've shot a lot of guns especially with the Daily Show I've done shotguns for the daily shot god it's always so mandatory after you guys gonna be telling jokes gonna have to learn how to clear a room learn how to defend yourself okay all right follow me now this is a Thompson machine gun discipline very important for the daily share shot 50 caliber sniper Buster's 50 calibers ridiculous yeah dude I I will show you a video after this uh actually maybe this hasn't really even aired because it was part of a pilot that I did that did I did a pilot for Comedy Central when I left a Daily Show it was an anti travel show called displace sucks I didn't go dude I'll send it to you

84:02great idea just the concept it's the funny you know what they said what I mean everybody said was too mean it's hilarious ah I go we stood in Kansas City I go here buddy my name is al Madrigal I'm in Kansas City I'm gonna tell you why this place sucks just all over it you need to just do that online oh yeah I should just put them outside that is a great idea for all things comedy why don't you just like by our may idea I totally did you only idea my idea yeah oh my god that's a great idea that idea like as soon as you set it up being ya know someone says an idea in a light bulb goes off he's a real idea and I do it in San Francisco when I do it it seemed Francisco's filthy it is one of the dirtiest cities I've ever visual my entire life and also it's like filled with rich douchebags now because of the you know internet boom and all this tech boom and yeah poor people are

84:52getting moved out there's so much stuff to make fun of so anyway I'm hate fun of uh I went to this place OMB guns and I shot machine guns handgun like I shot everything and then for The Daily Show I went and I saw I drove a tank I got to drive tanks I was doing these chieftain tanks that I was driving I got to run over to Saturn's in a tank really yes Oh so how do you drive a tanker what do you what do you you yeah it's never a snot yeah its levers and there's uh so um yeah you could watch and there was this hot chick that they had that was working there that was on it with me and at the same place I got to fire machine guns but I feel like when it comes to automatic weapons and the 50 caliber sniper Buster and all that I understand why you need to own that I liked shooting it I'll go shoot that stuff again I really enjoyed it you gonna see me shoot that 50 caliber thing

85:49right like there was a shockwave oh yeah like your your head flies you can watch my arms and the the skin on my arms Ripple after I shoot because I I wore a sleeveless shirt to shoot in Mexico boom Wow and I enjoyed it I like shooting that I want the shotgun to defend my house when everything goes to a zombie your pocket so I'm be apocalypse not gun I want just somebody to hear Shh right get the away from the door you know I have by my bed right now hammers a hammer I have a hammer like Bill this makes fun of me like he thinks it's the craziest thing like you keep it by your bed I keep a hammer under my bed like I'm gonna get up and like close in contact like ham or somebody death yeah oh it seems like you thought it through like really really like on a surface level I have a magnum flashlight and I got my flat Magnum flashlight yeah that always kills me that people think

86:52they're gonna Club somebody with a flashlight no no I want to I'm a flashlight one hand so blind them and then find it run in here my hammer mmm why not a real weapon I want a real why I got knives I have all close contact me never got a gun on my wife second UH one of them yeah hmm well get one I'm working on her she's good she gets in yeah she got to do is a false-flag in the house hire some friends break in oh yeah that's a good idea mothballs Flags like the Dick Cheney of households Oh God so um yeah I want the gun badly but I feel like within ak-47 and maybe even people can write like only bad things have happened because people per you know added sugars responsible gun owners but you look at Dylan roof and you look at you know Colin boy you look at all these you know people getting shot up everywhere and seeing the hook like I don't want that to happen I don't want my kids I was

87:49walking away I was safe you put your guns and safe why do you need an ak-47 you don't you don't need an ak-47 I'm saying have all the handguns but the thing is like who should be able to decide who gets what that's where it gets weird yeah and what about silencers too well here's the thing in in Europe silencers are thought of as a polite thing because we're over in America worried about shooting people they're worrying about noise so like if you have a what they call suppressor they call surprise yeah like if you're hunting you would hunt with a suppressor on because you don't want to blow your ears out man I'll put the links out to these two pieces that I did Daily Show spots I'll do the one if you go to my thing that Twitter I'll I'll put down I'll send them to you that when I drove the tank and fired all those guns and then I did a silencer piece as well and the guy

88:42was saying he wanted to protect kids ears with the silencers and that's what Donald Trump you're saying kids well I'm worried the reality is though and this is true I know a lot of friends that are hunters that shot guns as kids and they're up now their ears are a mess what it should they wear that they should but they didn't when they were younger because they didn't know any better see 20 years ago people didn't know that you were gonna do permanent damage to your ear they didn't you never heard about it like these people just shot guns but I think also the unfortunate reality now is that you could have somebody walking around undetected shooting shooting people in a college and you could ecology why I did I was on kcrw and walking around the Santa Monica campus and I really did think I'm like okay who's the shooter where I come on her and then shouldn't be a thought then

89:36ha no it shouldn't yeah I mean it's a mental health issue because like the only person that's capable of doing that as a person who's sick yeah you know and that's the other thing that doesn't come up when you're talking about mass shootings is whenever you hear about it the news nobody makes the correlation the inescapable correlation between psychoactive drugs and mass shootings because there's a lot of mass shooters like almost all of them that are either on pharmaceutical drugs like SSRIs disassociative drugs or they're getting off of them anti-psychotic drugs there's what can be done is you're like it there is no on the ground you started having people make we live in this country where you should be able to do whatever you want and have whatever you want but then who gets to decide who get question.what guns well Texas is sort of taking the idea that just everybody has a gun a will

90:32armed society is a polite society women run wild son yeah and then teachers should have guns in the classroom and bulletproof helmets full vests Jesus a k47 s right there right there put down the chalk I don't know man it sucks yet it's actually if they think about there's no easy solution yeah well it just every time one of those things happens everybody buckles down and wants to take away guns and try to figure out legislation and I just feel like the root of the problem is not the tools that people are using it's the fact that someone's willing to use those tools with the fact that someone is willing to do that the fact that those guns are more accessible is a jet is a genuine issue but I think we can all agree that no one came for the guns Obama everything Obama's coming for the guns well do you know why he does the NRA because the NRA is too strong the lobby

91:24is too strong they've spent a shitload of money and continue to spend a shitload of money to make sure they protect the Second Amendment right yeah but so you're saying if the will if not for the NRA dad hundred percent whatever syncing all the guns they would have definitely done something similar what Australia did Australia essentially made gun ownership very very very difficult they took away guns they enacted very strict laws and they had like one mass shooting a long time we had a big mass shooting a long time ago that's the thing that they don't have is like these big mass shoot yeah you know when you see but Australia has the same amount of people as California and it's the size of the United States mhm yeah they just just saw think there's the map comparisons you know your minds like it's the exact same says yeah it's crazy and people are spread by you know it's

92:09way spread out and it's the same amount of people's Los Angeles and it's in this giant ass country so when you think about being able to take people's guns in Australia make it's different the culture is different then the idea of independence is different over there we have a different attitude over here yeah I just don't want to warm yeah when you have little kids again yeah just your horse changes you know which like I don't ever why worry about them growing up in a society where a teacher does have to think about wearing a helm of course of course I mean nobody wants to think that I don't know what the solution is but the solution look getting the guns away from the people there's more guns than there are human beings in America and they're not they're not going to stop making guns it was a good business yeah I don't think the guns are the problem I really don't

93:01I mean I support gun ownership I really do I just I don't think that's the issue I think the issue is lucky we saw in France and nice that some crazy take a car and kill 100 people by plowing over people and just start stabbing people to get in a car and just start stabbing folks there's there's ways that people lose their minds and do horrible things to people and the ways are not things you have to take away you have to figure out a way and not away all hammers no right yeah I don't know what the solution is but I don't think anybody does yeah I see Niles but wait I think what you're getting at with the mental health stuff is there I'm not opposed to there being a screening process and seeing if you have a history of violence of course and if you are show up on a terrorist watch list and that's where I think the NRA goes overboard like if you're on a terrorist watchlist who doesn't

93:50agree with that well the only problem with that is who gets to decide who's on that terrorist watch list cuz there was people that were from the Green Party that were put on terrorist watch lists after 9/11 because there were anti-war protesters and they were put on no-fly list there was a lot of weird that happened where people were put on list because they pissed off the wrong people and you know in 2001 it was way easier to do something like that than it is to do it then you go to buy a gun and then they say I'm sure you can't purchase this weapon because you're on that brightest and then you go to a gun show that's part of the problem yeah but gun show and you could buy a gun far easier in Kansas City tighten that down though Kansas Kansas you can go and poop correct me if I'm wrong is it did that joke up this place sucks what am i and so you go to Kansas

94:39and then you can get a gun with no you don't even just an ID Kansas ID and get it in maybe like five minutes zero train it's nothing just you get it right away you don't have to have a background check nothing is that true yes was that true like when you did in 2014 I did this piece yeah but you can look at Queen we check gun laws can't access no background check no background check I'm pretty certain so but wouldn't people you have just gotten canceled listen this guy does with this grandma he walks in this place and because uh I can't either guy says I can't buy the gun but she can like that he buys these four guns or something kills a bunny people so federal law requires federally licensed firearms dealers but not private sellers to initiate a background check on the purchase purchaser prior to sale of firearm as a result concealed weapons license holders in Kansas are

95:38exempt from the federal background check requirement it's crazy no training no background check hold on a second concealed white weapons license holders like you have to have a concealed weapons license which is difficult to acquire it's not easy to get a concealed weapons license unless that they have a different law their background checks and can that's concealed with but I think but concealed weapons is like the hardest thing to get as a concealed carry federal law provides states with the options of serving a state Kansas has no law requiring firearms dealers to initiate background checks prior to transferring a firearm as a result in Kansas firearms dealers must initiate the background check required by federal law by contacting the FBI directly Kansas is not a point of contact State huh so they have to contact the FBI federal law does not require dealers to

96:29conduct a background check of a firearm purchaser presents a state permit to purchase or possess firearms that meet certain certain conditions so it seems like there's definitely some wiggle room yeah yeah sure and then you know that's always talking about these gun shows where you can just go gobble up a bunch of firearms okay there you can bring them into this where they just transport them across state lines and it's one of those things like many human issues where there's not a whole lot of like clear paths it's like there's so many guns you're never gonna take them all away from people and should you take them all away from them like have a guy like you as a gun I don't feel like nothing juror threat unless you're getting one of your goddamn tirade can't it be my baby I don't know the best example I'd shoot a hack what stealing what he's got a gun oh did you

97:20hear that bit like not a bit the video Carlos Mencia was on Joey Diaz a show saying he thought about bringing a gun around and going to the comic store and shooting people and he was carrying a gun in his car like no way I'm crazy um well there maybe you shouldn't have were gone yeah Jesus that's why I start thinking about Ojai which brings me back and Lannister take it about you know I look at Redfin trulia I would go to oh I living out there you live in an Ohio just weird checking out I was in Ohio recently it's weird really yeah everybody talks about how great it is I think the resort is great oh yeah well we didn't Airbnb out there in Ohio I was like yeah - I feel like what about um nice restaurants what about when you get out - like acido no that's beautiful that's like 1% or that's like 12 million dollar house territory that's where that Saudi

98:12Arabian Sheik has a beautiful beautiful you know rich people found a good spots yeah they really did how I like that Santa Barbara I like that Sandeen is yeah I like to go up to coast if everybody looks at this you want to look at the Cambria where's that outs in the middle of California it's just a coastal town there's a place called Avila Beach it's all it gets into like San Luis Obispo County Renda middle people having it's a little bit too far to drive it would take like three and a half hours at La little town walk to the coffee place with the dogs my buddy John hackle Minh lives in San Luis Obispo he's Chuck Liddell's Oh karate trainer I was it counts Pauly with Chuck Liddell did you really I ain't no I think I just knew it's like a guy I think yeah yeah what is this that's amber embryos pretty yeah just 101 yep yeah that's pretty it looks quiet but san luis obispo so great

99:12there's no one there it's just the college and it's real quiet morro bay isn't also another than that big rock and you just go fish you can do a bunch like that so that's again i'm i am so high strung and i do like you know feel like I'm prone to like I can't be walking around telling dads at my school to off you know I do that I don't want get it go FICO you're a you know what happened you just did he's a dick to my son the dad was the dad was use a basketball coach and I saw him I go hey real you know that whoa and uh-huh because no dad's talk to each other like that and I yeah I call this guy's an and I felt bad again I feel bad I don't want to do it but I did it and he's a dick and everybody knows he's a dick and bull is your coach name is coach out of school yeah this is still there any or is he done and he's done he's done yeah a lot of people that can't mean the

100:14stress of being a comic rightist won't crash trust imagine a stress of dealing with hormonal II active 17 year olds every year new ones coming in just chaos younger okay this is 14 there's no not even that okay being an to an 11 year old oh well he's a piece of yeah yeah yeah well there's a lot of stress and raising people and teaching kids and dealing with the problems that kids present you know yeah a lot of people that just here's another thing that's going on today people think they can have a kid and then have careers too and but everyone's happens to career the mom is a career the dad as a career everybody has a career and when did you when you watching the kid who's paying attention to the kid I went to a party and I've talked about this in the podcast before this one little kid was just running around hitting everybody and doing the parents are inside

100:58drinking they were in the party drinking and the kids out there with the other kids and then finally the guy comes out an apology I'm sorry he's a good kid it's not good kid like he's hit three kids yeah yeah I told him what the kid did he goes he never did that I go I'd saw him do that watch your son beena and the guys like I said I'm sorry I'm like oh my god I want to kill you yeah but do you understand I want to grab your neck and choke the life out of you I'm containing myself yeah I can con yes I get in the pan noses yeah I would I keep it cool I keep it cool magic how do you do it I don't know cuz I practice murder on a daily basis oh my god I just murder a punching bag or run up hills I get it out of my system Burt just told me this story about you exercising such calm you and Tate and that guy with his shirt off that was trying to get into your hotel

101:49room oh yeah you know and I would have I don't know what I would have done today I'm not gonna you know that's the other thing it's like I would just put that guy balled up in unconscious yeahmy tape put him to sleep take choked him unconscious but Tate was nice to him he could have taken his life that guy was a real piece of he was a big giant dude he was like six foot six and he was a bully and he thought you know because he was so tall he thought that people were scared of him but you know he with the wrong guy in Tate first of all a guy who's been arrested been around bad people his whole life been in numerous street fights was a professional fighter was on The Ultimate Fighter was a black belt in jujitsu mean everything was wrong and and Tate was trying to be calm with the guy and the way Tate handled it like he they fought in a hotel lobby right in

102:42front of the elevator and the guy was pounding on his door saying you're in my room I think I was at just a and Tate was like nob look Mikey works here it's definitely my room and he shuts the door on me who's he you think you can get away with shutting this door he was open this door I told you in my room and then we all went outside it was me and Eddie Bravo and Tate we're looking at this guy we're looking at his friend and we're trying to figure out how we're going to do this like this this has to be dealt with like this is not a guy that's going to go away he was a big drunk dumb guy and Tate decides the way to handle it is you know there's a bunch of words being exchanged so Tate decides he he kicks the guy in a leg in the leg and then he grabs him and pulls him on top of him so the guy like literally has no idea like why so he does he kicks his leg

103:34grabs them and pulls him on top of them it pulls him into what's called the guard you know I can judge it sue and then wraps him up in something called an omoplata which is a shoulder lock so he throws I mean this is all instantaneous kick pull whap throws his shoulder over them then the security guard show up the security guards show up and they go hey hey hey what the is going on and I go relax I go everything's gonna be fine he's just gonna choke him to sleep and they got the security guard goes joe rogan are you Joe Rogan holy man what are you doing here while I said this like he's just gonna choke him sleep Pecos all right I guess I'm gonna choke him to sleep now hey I mean this is all happening within seconds Tate sinks a rear naked choke on this guy and just squeezes him unconscious gets off of him doesn't hurt the guy at all doesn't hit him all he do is kick his leg out from

104:24under him take him down choke him unconscious the guy his friend picks his friend up I and I go get your friend and get sober him up and get him out of here and he's lucky nothing happened he's like I'm sorry man my friends Peter should I'm sorry his friend picks his friend up the guys like delirious they push him in an elevator elevator door closes he disappears from life never see him again that's it the end of it I take pictures with the security guards their smile and I goes fine I go he's a drunk do you think we should call the cops I'll go now that guy's humiliated unless he comes back he comes back he's gonna get up but right now everything's fine don't call the cops again so they're laughing and everyone's laugh we took a couple pictures together went back in the room what got some dinner and we were laughing yeah but when that dad is in your face at the party to exercise that

105:15calm is is that's again that's the thing that I struggle with when Mike Costa is on stage and I'm being completely honest like I again this is how I feel it's just something that takes over and I'm like I can't help but say hey your son is hitting that guy like this is not cool this is not okay yeah parents don't want your kids and then their kids are just complete well they go to parties and they drink and they leave the kids outside and this parents these particular parents they don't watch the kid ever they this is like what they're famous for apparently in their group they just don't watch this kid they just they don't want to be parents they became parents in their 40s they didn't really plan it out I don't know if the parents get along I don't know I don't know how but the whole thing looks like a disaster and the kids a little monster and they just are not

106:05they're not disciplining and paying attention and like he literally went out talked the kid in there was some commotion going on where people complaining about the kid hitting somebody he talked to the kid and he high-fived them and then the kid went back to doing it again I mean literally he went back inside to drink the kid went back outside again so at the end of the night when this guy apologized to me like it the kid was doing it all night girl hey man your kid is really aggressive he's like I'm sorry I'm sorry about the cat ago your kid is really aggressive is no he's a good kid I gonna lick he can't he hit three people I saw him hit people I saw him push a kid and call him a loser I go he said six and he's doing this he goes that never happened like you know I'd understand consequences this is why I bite my tongue I understand like the the actual consequences of smacking this guy

106:52in its mouth which is what I wanted to do you know of course I why there was no consequences to do anything and I didn't think of him as a person I didn't think of him as a guy who just never raised kid before hasn't really thought about it well has a big career probably busy all the time wife's busy all the time just not doing a good job raising a little monster you know Lincoln to try to drown out the fact who knows why you know drinking because he doesn't like being married drinking because he doesn't like being a dad drinking cuz he doesn't like being sober who knows I don't know I don't know the guy but in that moment when he's looking at me and going that never happened I just did just the sheer ignorance and incompetence and irresponsibility was just so infuriating because I watch my kids like I like I watch them I talk to him I communicate with my note I didn't have a good

107:42childhood so for me it's important to be a good dad and to spend as much time as I can communicate ancient explaining talk to him treating them like I'm not just their dad but also I'm their friend and I care about them my wife is a first grade teacher and she's becoming a educational therapist right now and so I'm like living with just the master had consequences like if you don't eat in our house or decide you don't like broccoli nothing else is coming I couldn't like kitchen is closed and that's what people create monsters when they cater to him so much that's okay let me know that's where you like your kid only eats rice I have a friend who and he keeps feeding his kid sugar this kid just eats nothing but sugar all day because he doesn't need he doesn't eat I go what do you mean he doesn't eat he's always eating cookies is because he won't eat his food I gotta feed him something I go

108:31no dude you got to tell him you can't eat the cookies you got food you got actual food this kid is just eating nothing but candy I mean it's it's bananas he's always got a soda in his hand he's six he's six and he's drinking a full coke like you go over the house the kid has a root beer we saw these kids we were on a flight and saw these two parents sit in first class and then come back and check we didn't know what we put hidden coach they put three next to each other in coach small the I know crazy right and then everybody else has to do with their kid they gave each of them iPads right and then they waitress a waitress the has stewardess comes by and she looks at these three kids and looks around for who they're with and Wanda all the kids I'm telling eight is the oldest one eight maybe six and four three just in a row Jesus Christ and all this one

109:32goes three sprites three sprites this is a red eye this is overnight flight they're on iPads like just animals just don't stop like trying to win something you know and then my we're sort of laughing at first but everybody in our family wants to go sleep there is like exhausted from being out all day I've never wood is a while ago I'll never be on this flight again no red eyes for me this horrible horrible ruin cocktail four days two days afterwards you're yeah try to do anything in your power to avoid a read I also try to do everything in your power to avoid and if you can fly non-stop that's whatever sighs yep yeah so they get in a fight after a while oh yes start fighting cuz they're all hopped up on sugar and it's terrible screen and so then they start fighting and I think the mom or dad hears or somebody has to tap them to get up and me and my wife like this is not

110:37okay just not nothing was said because again we just want to mind her own business ideally right again ideally everyone Minds their own business this is a new world though this world of electronic babysitters in the world of putting the kids and coach and you go in the first class like ignoring kids and it's these career people there's a lot of people that look they their career requires all their time they justify by go look someone's got to make the money in this household so we keep up this lifestyle and so they're out there grinding all day and then the kids are just what do I do was raising me full circle to my dad passing away he said every single weekend is why I bought that FJ 62 Land Cruiser because every single weekend we went on a little family trip and I looked at myself and we go on family vacations and stuff but the amount of time that my family really

111:31spent together like a mom and a dad like he would take us to Yosemite he would take us up the coast to Mendocino we go to Marin or Stinson Beach or in all these places even Golden Gate Park like he would just take us places little adventures you know and so I feel like we need to I get caught up and work working because you know just non-stop and I got to take a step back and really spend as much time as I possibly can so after that happened this is June is almost a year ago just really try to trim back I go to every single volleyball game I go to every practice I possibly can you know and just force yourself to say this is not it doesn't matter that much because you look at all these deathbed that's what I started looking all these deathbed regrets those are a bunch of lists that are out there Jesus too much time spent at work yeah not enough time spend with people that I

112:29love you know and you look at all these things it's like I'm not having any of these regrets so that's what I'm thinking I started looking at the real estate and trying to look at getting away you know just to really check it out and that's what I'm trying to hustle and make as much money as I can and kids are in a house where you gonna go that's what I'm checking into that's why I know a lot about Cambria Big Sur a Big Sur one of those places I could go up there in your way and just live in a coast and then be able to come back like if I get an acting gig I love acting I like I really enjoy it I love writing - I luckily had some success recently as a comedy writer and it's one of the CBS people I was trying to match up with the Latino showrunner and two years ago they go no no that's that's you you're gonna be that kind and aren't really any but we're grooming you

113:25to be that and I wrote two big scripts and then with that business background I have the ability to to do that I like like working with people and I think I could staff up and do all that so I can see myself splitting my time keeping a little house in LA and then having a place in Cambria or Santa Barbara and just go back and forth Santa Barbara is easy it's only an hour yeah I want 10 just live on the beach and have you know yeah a blue heeler also just being able to sit back and watch the ocean just calm yourself calm yourself you know and that's what again Ari Shaffir said that when he was walking on a beach and he needed to walk to a restaurant 40 minutes that he had this feeling in his head that I need to be doing something right now and then he needed to curb that and he needed to just watch the waves yeah that was it yeah not think about and that's what I have

114:26is the problem I have is I have a when you try to meditate people said there's a river of 20,000 thoughts mm-hmm you get just on stomp and I've been waking up every single night at two o'clock in the morning every night almost not every night but four or five nights a week why different reasons different thoughts just and then just thinking about stuff non-stop well you see you're saying to me two different contradictory things you're saying that you want peace and you want calm and then you're saying you want to start running shows and then you're saying you want to start having known ultimate career I want to be able to work on coming to town mmm do a gig right well it can't be a showrunner work on a thing for like you see the show that I'm on is 10 episodes right and we worked on that for five months mm-hmm and I want to do nothing else right but you know that when you work on a show

115:25you're working 16-hour days like if you want to be a showrunner for a successful show the amount of time that's required to actually make something take off sure it's massive you don't have to manage a bunch of different people and expectations and but it's it it's a portion of your year yeah so it'd be like working seasonal work almost Seaquest that's I did for me that's the ideal version is to act on a show that has an episode order and then go back to Santa Barbara hmm and then do nothing it's all about idea and then come back and then and be able to just control your own work is really what I want to do that's that guy you need the financial freedom to be able to do that and then those shows pay really well so I'm just trying to map out and I don't have the answer I'm thinking and this is certainly not something I'm doing right now but again when you work seasonally

116:20and then you can really take some time to just hang out and read on a deck and make dinner and that's your go shop for an individual meal every day oh and fish in do like that I would yeah you seem like you're longing for this idealistic view of peace and quiet while pursuing chaos yeah they're very contradictory to understand what I'm saying Oh totally well this is something I promised myself that I was going to bust my ass until I was 50 and I'm 40 about to turn 46 and then just take it as it comes when realistically I should just take it as it comes right now and not now I die hustle really hard you know ten things going on yeah it's a weird balancing act trying to figure figure out how to manage your life or ultimate happiness and then sometimes like that the real ultimate happiness comes after you've had struggle like you only really appreciate sunlight if you get a lot of

117:21rain like we don't apply I went to Prince of Wales Island in Alaska for six days once and we're up there camping it's miserable pouring rain every day but when I came back to LA god damn I was happy the sunlight felt so good I mean it felt it's like the Sun lights out there right now it doesn't feel like I get my out it's hot I Drive off I don't appreciate it but when I came back from Alaska I really appreciated it and I feel like some amount of the peace and quiet that we seek and we enjoy you're only going to appreciate if you struggle like you're only going to appreciate like real relaxation feet up at the beach if you've been busting your ass for me what I think a tremendous amount of calm comes from is and this is I don't know you can tell me is just financial freedom like I don't have a house payment hanging over my head and I don't have all this stuff I'm just

118:18worried about and I I tend to worry a lot about that stuff that's why I work my ass off like I really want to just and I'm over complicating my life a bun I am and doing really good you see me I'm like I'm a happy guy but I just when you're waking up in the middle of the night at 2 o'clock in the morning thinking about all the that you have to do you had to pair some stuff down yeah there's that for sure when you're financially free it removes a gigantic burden remember my first development deal there was the first thing I felt I got a development deal like way back in the 90s and the first thing that happens they sent me this big fat check and all of a sudden I felt lighter like like something like I took a backpack off filled with rocks like Oh like now I knew that I could pay my bills from the foreseeable future I was going to be able to pay my bills for the next like

119:09more than a year from want to do nothing sit back for a year and live the way I'm living I'd have no problem paying my bills and it was a very tangible feeling like okay now that I have this momentum I've got to keep this going because I don't ever want to go back to that feeling of not being able to pay my bills because that's the real struggle the real struggle is like financial independence once you become financially independent then there's levels to it you know like you want to have one of those Montecito houses or have a private jet or you want to get crazier and crazier and crazier you're just overly complicated yeah yeah that's like a assistant thing exactly that's because so I feel like this level right here so I'm living in the house that I want to live in I'm not we're I'm never moving oh we're good too in terms of the LA sort of raising my kids house like work

120:00in a great little place love it I live in Pasadena its second there's the wildlife in your yard there's so many pictures of deal in your yard exactly there's there's deer out coyotes you know and all cuz I Bobcat jumped out behind me the other day Jesus yeah as run as Bears and Pasadena yeah people's pools only in this does black neighborhood and so exist yes flash bears - how weird totally and so what hey um I'm cool I don't want I don't need to fly private I don't need I'm sure that's nice I have no aspirations edge again I just want to live comfortably but once you fly in first class it's difficult to go sit by the bathroom in between two other people's like you know so there's certain luxuries that I want to be able to afford but again I just want to chill out hang out in the backyard have a drink with my wife and I'm gonna have people over and barbecue right that's it

120:59that's all after you totally content with that that's that's very peaceful and that's a great thing and then also getting satisfaction out of creating stuff and making stuff and working at the same time and even if it's that this guy that I bought this house from left me his table saw and all a bunch of wood how did you make it furniture what are you doing are you making furniture I'm not doing anything with it you're thinking about doing something I'm thinking about like I could have used this stuff I know how to use a table saw no well learn don't cut your for never no no just no thumbs now um would admit um he left like a some birdhouse stuff there I just wanted the old man that like tinker's makes shelves and stuff like that for people and my my dad was an artist of my uncle John is an artist and you know put together these sculptures with all wood

121:57and he was like a very skilled carpenter so I always like looked at those guys thinking I got to do this and I just want to look yeah there's a bunch of I like to do like that like I wanted tinker I wanted to fly fish fly fishing it's fun see I used to fly fish a lot there's a casting thing in the Arroyo in Pasadena where there's a Royal casting Club where it's all these old men just practicing where do they fly fish and Pasadena's is there a river there no there's a whole place where it's like they've it's just a body of water where they just like I met like a little pond yeah oh so then they go out they take trips to places yeah I'll go out and no - no - Sierra and I was in Bozeman the center this summer Bozeman Montana and we we went by this place with all these people were fly-fishing and it made me so excited oh my god I want to go back and do that but it was

122:50weird because they catch him release and I was like okay now you weird me out because you just putting a hole in that fish's face and you let them back like this is kind of up my buddy daily show guy just went to Russia to go fly-fishing so he's super into it and he bought a place in upstate New York that has a river right by it and just time as week goes up for well if you can do like a place where you can catch the fish and eat it goddam on the shore if you have a little cast-iron frying pan make a little campfire and have some shore lunch oh so delicious for me that is the sort of ultimate hanging out with my wife having a glass of wine doing that reading and then go on bed but do you really want to do it or do you like the romantic idea of doing it we're gonna funk and find out but right now it's just a romantic idea of do only yeah but I do like going we've gone away in a

123:42couple of times like my kids are just at the point where they went away for a sleepover this only happened one time and me and my wife drove up into Altadena and heard about this hike that people do and took the dogs went on this hike and we had a blast and I know that if I can mix in the proper amount of work and the proper amount of just chilling out I'll love it I have three hammocks in my backyard that I don't use I barely land them yeah see this is what I'm getting out of you I'm getting that you're you're thinking about like this romantic idea of relaxation and peace and quiet but look at our constantly yeah good vacation homes nuns but meanwhile you're also planning on doing a bunch of shows and being a executive producer and a showrunner and a writer and a stand-up performer and your acting and yeah I got a ton of going on and you're yelling at people yelling

124:35unnecessarily talking about eventually getting to a cognitive therapist and yeah eventually starting meditation it's like you have this I just do it now yeah well yeah for sure yeah I should have already done it like you all these things you should have already done so this is the problem with me is money okay so the 80s he I don't do for anyone I have put nothing but money and so that's not about money at all so that's starting like I started my stand-up career eventually that'll be great I know well it takes a lot of work but that's just what is the idea behind it okay so two things comedy by the way so this is all things comedy is me and bill came up with the idea the comedians should own and distribute all of their own content Mike's first showed up in LA yeah work on TV so with Cheech from Cheech and Chong who told me to do two things it'd be nice to every single person you

125:29meet out in the public every busboy is going to have the Cheech is an story if your dick to anybody so try to be as nice to as many people as you can and then he goes also you want to own every single piece of content you ever put out there because it goes I owned all the movies and I owned all the albums so every single day Zelda's mailbox money and that we get but as comedians for starting everybody starting all these podcasts and this is 2010 so we do all the paperwork we finally get the company and we take a big chunk of the company and we say okay everyone that participates in this network this is the board of directors Tom Segura Bert Kreischer hari Shaffir Dave Anthony myself bill burr and we help guide this place in the right direction so when new comic wants to come on all of us sort of go do we want this person on for example Jon REEP and Sarah Tiana are going to

126:27start a podcast I approached Jon REEP called me and I talked to Sarah and put them together Felipe Esparza I saw that no Latinos are doing podcast I know Felipe is hilarious and instead of like being all like the other Latino comedians or competitive I was like Felipe you got to do podcast and he started one called what's up fool does great and it's helped out as numbers and everything like that so we all collectively owned this company together that distributes our content so this content starts with podcasts but then eventually we start our own studio we are redoing our website right now we are going to start selling our own TV shows Burt did a cooking show called something's burning that's uh Tom and Bill watching the most unsanitary chef I've ever seen you play with his nose he's touching his nose blows and Bill's like we key touch your nose one more time marguerite

127:25any of the no one's gonna eat that and they're yelling at each other while they're cooking and burnt and just dumped a bunch of oil down the sink and like yeah you were making that and we shot for an hour and Tom and Bill were hunched over laughing I was in the back just cracking up couldn't believe what I was watching but what are you doing with it that should be a show is it on anything right now so it's going to be on a TC comm or we're going to sell it as an individual you did a long time ago no we just shot it was this is like three couple months three weeks ago two weeks ago three weeks not two weeks make three four weeks ago and just haven't edited they're editing it right now I'm just putting it together so do you have like a group of editors and stuff so we partner with this company called soapbox films that has 15 editors animators all these people on staff so when you come

128:17by you'll see that we have two full stages we have green-screen white psyche you've color Corrections you know sound mixing studios and then they gave us our podcast studio two different offices and then other meeting rooms as part of like an investment in us Wow so anyway a but everybody owns everything we have a TC records that again I haven't had the time we're just staffing up right now because we took on a little bit of money but you took on money yeah we got investors here we got investors there's somebody's got given us a million bucks Jesus yeah so the idea behind it is you're kind of acting as a network we're going to turn into our own network it's going to be like United Artists and when the shows sell it's going to be full transparency when let's say something's burning goes up and breasts are buying it Bert just going to look at his back-end and

129:17know exactly you know the money has to be recouped and then you know the money is split interesting he'll just get access like Bert will own that if there's if there's a TV show that gets made out of that and it becomes popular and is the idea behind it that there's strength in numbers and that's yeah we all we all really help each other out to like if for example I get too special coming out everyone's going to help me get behind it when bird special comes out everybody you know goes crazy we're sort of do that anyway we all do that anyway this is a collection this is like this is an association of comics working together to promote each other and so like if you guys have a podcast on the all things comedy label everyone knows well this is going to be pretty high quality because medians are going to be a better show we're going to rein that in a little bit like you said

130:10but for the most part we have a lot of people contacting us and it's all community of our peers that we all really like are you enjoying that or is that bringing you extra stress you bring a little extra stress because I put some money and it's definitely something I'm looking at getting to a point in powering other people that some other comics coming in to help me work on creative stuff but is it making money or is it oh yeah so we just you know we haven't put out any of our TV shows yet I mean I hope to have TV shows on the air that's like Funny or Die mm-hm makes money off branded I got two companies come to us and want scripts written and I was able to give gigs to guys I knew on a daily show where they get paid like forty-five thousand dollars to write a script for a corporation oh wow and all those times to give gigs like we can serve as the agency for that we can do I can match

131:06Tom papa up with the company so he can write their ad copy just to bring him extra side money like we can do branded content integrated marketing and all that and have the comedian's own the company that does that comedians responsible for so much content its books its TV shows its movies it's just like you think about these comics are producing so much great then why shouldn't all the comics have a company that distributes all that stuff well it's interesting because there's a bunch of groups that are coming along right now that are trying to capitalize on podcasting and one of the things that's fascinating I had a conversation with a friend of ours who's got a podcast and his agency or his management company that suck now are telling him they want a piece of the podcast you and for the longest time they were telling him he was wasting his time doing a podcast they

131:59were saying you need to worry about like put getting a scripted show getting addition to that and he was like I really think that you know there's something in podcasts so they were negative and they were criticizing his efforts and now they want a piece of it he's baffled and he doesn't know what to do I'm like you got to leave them know like you got to leave them absolutely not they're not doing anything I can talk to me yeah I could've just uh there's no sense in your doing it it's like this is something just like your stand-up career then you really don't now because the technology you don't need an intro to the establishment when you're a young stand-up comedian you need a management manager and an agent to usher you into the established group of decision makers right when you're a podcaster and your podcast becomes popular it's you and a room and that

132:53microphone and people that listen and there's really because you're putting out a good product you don't need somebody to tell you like it's okay to do it or you're going to be on this network like that's it doesn't matter you can do it by yourself and that's another thing that I encourage all people to do and this is a why maybe like even though I am stressed out I wake up in the middle and I usually there's a lot of contradictory should get going on and I'm looking at vacation homes I love it I love doing what I'm doing I really do that's great I love doing stand-up I love the acting like just I love it all and to follow your bliss you know and to really I was firing people and like you said you have to be up in the rain to appreciate the sunshine sake that's where I was when I was working for somebody else even though that somebody else was my parents and so I got down

133:45into stand-up mic right look at all this great I looked right even writing jokes for free for Tim Allen like I didn't have to do that like I love doing all this stuff and so I really through like the people that we get to associate with and the people we get to meet and what happens when you do something you love it all just sort of comes together so I feel very fortunate that way that I get to do all this and even though I need to say no I need to pare it down I'm still having a hakama blind what's good that you're having a blast but my advice to you is just do all those things that you're talking about like especially do all those things as far as like meditation do all this thing like whatever the cognitive therapy issue that you have to deal with just go do that yeah because you you talk about it too much I know yeah like you and I've had like 30

134:32conversations about your temper yeah you know over like 10 years mmm like that's crazy and nothing's changed it's less cuz you got more and more aware of it right I'm totally aware right yeah I've been so cool there has not been an incident in a while except that other night let's steve-o well that was a long time ago okay that was a long the other night we were talking about the person that got an applause break oh yeah last week this is me but like and again also you know it for a long time not hey on zinc he's also you caring about comedy it's ER about you really caring too much about comedy yeah it's me being again sacrificing a lot to do what I'm doing and then seeing other people are just trying to take advantage you know yeah like I love the idea of all things comedy but I don't want to do anything like that myself it just seems to me like god you're invested in

135:36yourself and a whole bunch of other people's problems you know but I've kind of done is form a network without having an actual network or is all the people that I'm friends with whether it's Tom or Joey or Duncan I help them I promote them just by just doing it I don't want any connection I don't want financial connection to it you not even have a contract my manager we've been together for so long like I don't need it our contract came up and I go I don't need a contract do you need a contract he's like no well good shook hands it came a hug so we have two nonsense legal shall never leave in him they went him since I was an open mic erm I'm not going anywhere you know and that's also we shot that bridge say with this Bert thing again there's no contract beautiful shake hands that's like again I would die before I anybody over like I'm really would dying so there's no contracts with

136:34us like we're gonna make put that out there whether it's for free or whatever you know just we're gonna start making and the most important thing is you're having a good time you have a great time that's the most over laughing couldn't stop like isn't that like the best part about this whole thing is that you get a chance to hang out with comics get a chance to have a good time just and the more you do that the better stuff you put out mm-hmm you know the more you're in that vibe in that group of humans you know just having a good time it's like you're putting out those good vibes you're getting them back everybody's producing good stuff again I can't stress enough to people this thing and just like finding that thing that you really like to do and doing it is so important I don't know what it is but if you really like something itching at you because that's the thing with my

137:22parents family business and even knowing I wanted it I knew I wanted to be a stand-up comic forever and it took me a while to figure it out so that's when I come down here and I'm racing around playing really trying to cram it all in or whatever's behind it but I just wish that's a regret I do I was just started earlier however you start standing late mmm yeah I was 21 yeah it's up one of those things though ban me Robert Schimmel started when he was 36 start whenever you start yeah you know it doesn't matter and I think often times whatever extra life that you have before you start it's probably gonna help you was when I started I was a baby you know I didn't know about life yeah when I did sir I was doing sales and she like that was calm cool its MetLife yeah you know you've met life you've hung out with life you've been there you know got down in nitty-gritty

138:16I went essentially like a couple years out of high school I became a comic you know and I was out there doing the life I've never done anything but I've been a bunch of along with it but if there was ever like a question someone said all you have to quit everything except one thing what's gonna be Mike that's easy stand-up everything else you go itself yeah yeah without a doubt for sure because that's the thing as a stand-up comic we just always have this the skills to go out earn a living for Joel Jay Leno's faults he dance had some pretty great stuff about there's a book called comic insights by Franklin Ajay where it used to teach this at UCLA and if you go through as interviews with Richard Jeni and Chris Rock and Jay Leno and JLo says takes you seven years it's like a law degree takes you seven years to get your law degree and then it takes you seven years to be a good lawyer and

139:11then it takes you seven years to sort of figure out who you are as a comic and then another another seven years to be a great comic so around four year 14/15 you really start hitting your stride because you're great at it you're getting better at it and to do that at around seven years he goes start making a living you can start really can quit your day job and really start making it fine living for your family your make at least like seven eight on this is a long time ago like 70 grand a year oh yeah it's great living just you could live I've got a bunch of comics on the road that's just living in Indiana clucking house cost one hundred and eighty thousand dollars couple kids yeah totally can be done no question and it's certainly better than doing something you don't want to do exactly for whatever you know the people are listening to this and they're like what

140:03is my thing it's gotta be something man it got to be something it might be making canoes who knows the it is I was so miserable doing that family business I started doing stained glass stained glass is cool yeah my dad did it and then I started doing I was looking for thing I volunteered with the Big Brothers Big Sisters I was just out there like really and this again I'm single and had the extra time to do anything like this is what I'm out and I was just looking forward and then I knew when if I turned 30 and I didn't try stand-up because it always been itching at me and people always told me I should do it then I would never be able to live with myself you know so I forced myself to do it and even though it certain you know uncomfortable well this life is like this weird quick blip and it seems long when you're young but as you get older now I'm pushing 50 I'll be 50 this year

140:54just happens fast it happens very fast and if you're not doing what you want to do it's not a fun time it's not a good feeling and you we all know that person we all know that one person that's not doing what they want to do any eats away at them all the time instead of the people that you know that are fulfilled that are doing things they enjoy and they're working hard they're pushing but they get that good feeling out of it they're actually pursuing what they love they actually feel like they're making a difference in their life they're actually creating something or accomplishing something that's what you want to do man that's the key to getting those good brain chemicals those good feelings having good people in your life having good friends being kind to people enjoying your time in this life and then doing that thing that is actually interesting to your personality

141:40in your mind it's so important and yeah taking a step away from work again those deathbed lists you gotta look at these deathbed I don't want to know nope don't want to look at regret I get it yeah I get it I work hard I know what I'm doing I mean I'm no perfect person by any stretch of the imagination but I don't need to look at regret I'm focused on that all the time I'm trying to focus on positive things I am absolutely where the consequences you know I've loved I've contemplated it in an office is not I think you could spend enough time focusing on negative like what people should have done and it can with your head and I just don't want to look up when I'm 70 and ya go where don't know he won't you won't I'm not gonna if I died tomorrow wouldn't I'm good you're just gonna keep going you're just gonna keep enjoying it you know and who knows what this thing

142:36really even is so weirdest thing about this life it's like what it what is it I mean we look at it in terms of this like sort of solidified structure of waking up with the alarm clock getting your car driving to work meanwhile the entire time this is going on you're a finite life-form on a planet in an infinite universe I mean all of it is preposterous from the beginning to the end all of its ridiculous and the more you look into it and the more you really contemplate the absolute just massive scale of this universe that we live in the more it seems ridiculous and the the little things that are keeping you up at night and waking you up at two o'clock in the morning the anxiety I can ridiculous yeah ridiculous just a matter of perspective but I think it's also a matter of the human body I think the human body is designed to have a certain amount of stress certain amount

143:31of worries the reason why we survived is because we worried about predators or invaders and all these different things those things don't exist anymore so we give ourselves issues yeah we give ourselves problems and I think the way to mitigate that is to exercise both in sense of like a physical sense but also like almost in like a demonic Exorcist like get exercise all that stress out of your body like your your body does not want to be like this overflowing battery of stress and tension and energy and when it is it starts with you to try to give you pressure and stress and give you like consequences for this it for this anxiety yeah I just have this insatiable drive that leads to that debilitating stress and anxiety that I don't like so I think it's like what we're talking about this is actually very helpful you know I don't I'm talk to him about the and I just talked

144:33to a doctor about it for the first I talking to the whole world then five million people are gonna listen to Jesus Christ all right I'm working on to everybody all right I know I'm an absolute mess if you listen this far I'm definitely not an absolute mess I'm working like all of us have issues everybody listening has issues there's no there's no perfect peace and I I really did at this doctor's appointment I just looked at she goes - my wife is aware of all this and close friends are but I talked to his doctor for the first time I was like talking to a complete stranger about it and all you people about it is very very new I don't and people are always wearing that you know everybody laughs at me stories of me telling people to go off and they're funny like you know why yeah you're not violent I mean that's wagon if you meet me you're by the way at the Comedy Store

145:26and it's like I really am the nicest guy I am I am a very nice dude but when pushed pushed and pushed I lose my mind yeah and when I see like then that is comedy injustice going on I'm like it that that dick yeah because it's important to you it is yeah I do well that's a consequence of all your ambition I mean that's where all the stress is coming from it's a consequence of you and it's also one of the reasons why you've been so successful that you're constantly pushing and making things happen and getting things done but occasionally going to spend your wheels I like to come back complete person no I'm not that's not going to happen but the next time I come back on this show okay you're gonna do like time on there's gonna be a little timeline a give me a timeline oh um I'm going on vacation a long vacation I used to flip out on vacation how long are you on

146:23vacation for when I go away for ten days is a long time Oh on day three I start getting fidgety do you start feeling like you have work to do yep I should be doing work every single if you go on vacation in Los Angeles you will get a call to be in a movie you'll get a call to do all this other and that's always what happens to me see I've gotten past that because I don't do anything anymore I just do podcast and stand-up and then ten times a year that's it I work for the UFC that's all right I brought it down to ten times a year a very great spot your spot is the spot that a lot of us comics want to get to I mean let's be honest things you are able to do those things because you have you know worked and you'd put in all you put in a lot of time to that and I mean you working on talk radio and then working on his radio news radio sorry news radio working on

147:26pre factor here affecting all UFC stuff like the gym being a great comic has led to this you you were able to be independent and that's fantastic I hope to get you definitely done this fear factor thing taught me a lot because it wasn't independent and I didn't like doing it and it was a great job and it was a lot of money and I would definitely do it again but it taught me the consequences of doing something that you don't really enjoy it's not Pat you know I don't have a passion for it I love the people I worked with and again it was a great job I'm not complaining like it's like blow is me I had a TV gig that one 148 episodes crazy yeah I mean this crazy successful show but wasn't what I wanted to do now so while I was doing it it made me realize like okay this is not the good feeling the good feeling is when you're doing things you want to do so figure out a way the when this is

148:15over never do this again and so when Fear Factor was over of course I did it again when it came back again then they came up they came with the money so hard you start thinking I'm gonna squirrel that money away and then you know it's only three days a week what's the big deal you worked four days you know you have four days off your working days you know that guy who's on Big Bang the you know the show Big Bang Theory mm-hmm the six lead the guy if you guys know the guy with the bowl cut his name is like Simon Helberg I think he I heard that he got his uh his deal for syndication they wrote him a check for eighty five million dollars yeah and start here perfect cracker yeah Josh that's like not the two there's the two guys the main guys right there's the Indian guy right and then he's like the fifth or fourth yucca yeah and you hear about all these shows like backing up

149:15the money truck there's not a lot of those shows anymore though that used to be like friends Seinfeld all these air shows yeah all those shows yeah all those shows like when there's radio went to syndication but news radio was never the kind of commercial success and these other shows were it actually became a success in syndication when news radio was on television this is when there was not a lot of shows on TV by the way there was one time where my friend Lou Morton's one of the writers he would Lou would wear a t-shirt that had the number that we were ranked for the week you know in our ratings and he came in with a number 88 on his shirt I went dude were 88 he's like 88 down are we gonna get cancelled and the only time we got canceled is when I didn't think we were going to get canceled I'm just crazy but um I remember what my point was no just you

150:08working on all these shows and then you're not doing ideally what you want but then you know you have a wife and kids and the money so good I was thinking for the longest time that I wanted to be like ethnic lab rat on and one of those NCIS shows where I was the worst guy just come to come in the cops come in and I go you guys aren't gonna like this does the worm came back it's not to eat sperm these sperm you think it is yeah I was thinking guys like David Caruso I want to think of those shows like where they just kind of sending it in yeah they're just mailing it in do that thing with its cloning it in yeah every time you see that compilation of him to just take it Aman I'm just saying corny one-liners and pulling off your glasses yeah that's what happens to you here you do one of those shows those shows are just designed to keep Grandma awake for another hour

151:03sell her Tide and Toyota trucks or whatever the they're selling the commercials it and then this brings me back to all things count so ATC is going to allow just funny people to make their own and make it and sell it directly to the people without having to you know worry about this network rigmarole that we've all been piped into right the network rigmarole that was like a real there was there was that option at one point in time that you thought that there was going to be a pot of gold in the rainbow like a syndication deal and now that stuff is almost non-existent think they cut all those deals out yeah for good reason awesome Ray Romano story about him getting his check in he's sitting in one of these daily grille type places it's like Beverly Hills lunch spots where all the agents go right and they go his agents say this is a check that you need to probably want to just go

152:01walk away take a look it privately just walk away and he goes into the bathroom and he goes in he opens up the check he looks at it puts it back in its for you know over ten million dollars type of thing and washes his face and he can't believe it you know cuz this is a guy working at a bank and then he was walking back to the table and - for old ladies were sitting there and they go excuse me and he thinks Oh everybody let's RAM in these fence and these ladies say can you get us some more bread please when you have a chance and it sort of truck and made him feel like oh okay how could Jesus like it this is crazy that this is happening these ladies have no idea who the I am they think I'm a waiter they're asking me for more water or bread and it really took the air out of everything and made him laugh because he just got the sweats like this is a crazy thing there is this

153:04pot of gold for some when I started doing stand-up and I still have all these deals that's what's happening with CBS there it's like I'm getting I've had my own family sitcom script seven times and so I got the development deals they give you a deal slava cash slap a cash and a script mmm and match it up with the showrunner showrunners last one is called call me al then I wrote another one called mr. macho mr. macho is good I there's a good script why the name though I'll flip out hey if Mexicans making fun of me moves on mr. macho hey cook exactly me me living in Latino neighborhoods so again good stuff it could be a show and you want to do that oh man write and have my own like single-camera comedy on the air yeah you like that as much as stand-up I love acting I love writing and making yeah that's awesome and I really enjoy it like I got to be in the writers

154:08room when I'm dying up here there's one of the best experiences ever and when does that come out when it's a fourth on Showtime beautiful you're gonna love it so much I'm sure and it's kind of lewd look Oh sexy look at you in that goddamn amazing outfit and that beautiful mustache whoa I love it she start dressing like that again totally feel they're not look better beautiful lapels alright brother so um this Friday sales the mile which is tomorrow yeah um shrimp it ain't easy on Showtime is it a gonna be available online at all well this is the thing they gave me a code so if you go to Showtime or show comm /r imp in mm-hmm and I put this up so this is on my Twitter you get a free 30 days of Showtime oh okay you can watch a special you can watch it all on the amp and then that's the same is true for I'm dying up here I think I'm going to have another

155:05code for that so you can really get two months of Showtime free out of this thing if you just I put the codes up and people can just grab the codes you know what I'll do is I'll throw the codes in my Instagram and my Twitter like they had bio or some okay I'm just grab them they're beautiful watch it that's it alright now imagine ladies and gentlemen shrimping ain't easy tomorrow enjoy it goddammit look at that back a new man Hills you're like a new man hopefully yeah or not like that warm which is more fun alright we'll see you bye you