Brian Redban

00:01Ladies and gentlemen, the internet is a crazy place. I need some positive positive stuff cuz I up today. This morning got up this morning did my usual stuff, checked my email, handled some business, was sitting there drinking a little kombucha and I read my message board. And I read this Planned Parenthood thread. Oh I'm just tweeting our And um I read about I don't know if you guys know what's going on. The uh Planned Parenthood was they were accused of selling fetuses and actually not just selling fetuses but making deals to deliver more intact fetuses and talking about um the body parts as as line items. And I was like, well, come on, that can't be real. So Call Me Pete is the gentleman who put it up on the website on the message board. If you're having a problem joining that message board, by the way, we switched hosts and there was just a a giant

01:15up along the way and along the way there was something around 13,000 spam accounts signed up. They were just fake, like a bunch of numbers, like 6 7 8 9 10, 6 7 8 9 10 11, 6 7 8 9 10 11 12. Like that kind of like a bunch of them. So we have to figure out a way to filter that stuff out. But we'll we'll let people in soon. Anyway, the video if you want to search for the video, the video on YouTube, if you really want to watch it, it's intact fetuses in quotes, just a matter of line items for Planned Parenthood. So I watch it. And the video is disturbing. First of all, it's disturbing the way this woman is talking about fetuses and you know, it's it's kind of creepy the way she's talking about the there's buyers that want these specimens. And they're I guess they're for medical tests or for scientific tests. It's it's hard to it's hard to sit through the whole thing and

02:14then they get deep into the video and that's where it gets really disturbing. Because the people that are buying ask if they can see some of the product or some of the samples, I think was the word they used. So the woman says, well, from the abortion say they're all just in like a big pile. And they they say, well, it's okay, we just you know, we would like to go see them. So they go um to this pile and um they start picking things out with tweezers, including fully intact arms with hands. Like a little baby arm that's maybe, you know, an inch and a half long, 2 inches long with fingers. And you know, they're talking about it like like you would talk about like how you grow tomatoes. Like, well, if you get tomatoes that are like 6 weeks old, they look like that. If you get them that are 12 weeks old, you get more more parts. Dude, it's really disturbing because they're

03:14pulling these things out with tweezers. Oh, this is a long What is that? Can you get Can you see the thalamus? Well, it's hard to tell in this big pile. It's a pile of parts, man. And it it it First of all, if you've ever had an abortion or you know someone's had an abortion, you know, you've had a girlfriend or you personally, um you don't think about what exactly is going on there. But when you look at this pile of these parts, you're forced to recognize exactly what it is. And then you're forced to wonder what's going on through the minds of these people that are just talking about them and referring to them in quotes, just a matter of line items. And this is pile of baby parts that they sucked out of a woman's body or a bunch of women's bodies. It's disturbing. I I remember seeing this video because they it was made for a recent bill or something like that in Congress that

04:14that the anti-abortion people put as a shock video, a scare video. And I thought it was fully debunked. I didn't know that that was actual real thing. How was it fully debunked? Um I guess the video makes it show it was it's supposed to be one of those like gotcha videos where it's it's mixing lies with like real stuff that they actually do in the video and uh I thought for sure it was debunked, but maybe I was wrong. I didn't really look into it too much, but I remember it was debunked and you can figure out a way to pull up a link that says it's debunked, what Planned Parenthood hoax really proves, right-wing extremists have no qualms about destroying people's lives. And when does this come out? Uh this came out July 16th. Um This is that's salon.com though, by the way, which is an insanely left-wing site. Yeah. Um so let's just Google it just to see, Planned Parenthood video.

05:13White House says Planned Parenthood videos are fake. Well, what's fake? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, it's not the real people? Um okay. New Planned Parenthood video, baby parts buyer jokes about shipping severed heads, 2 hours ago from The Weekly Standard. This is a new video. The latest undercover Planned Parenthood videos, an interview with Cate Dyer, CEO of an organization called StemExpress that buys aborted baby parts from Planned Parenthood and sells them to researchers. There are no graphic images in this video, but Dyer's comments about shipping the severed intact I don't know what that word is, calv- calva- calva- calvarium calvarium calvarium calvarium or skull of an aborted baby are bone-chilling. StemExpress They say, I know we get requests for neural tissue. It's the hardest thing in the world to ship, the buyer says. Uh You do it as a whole calvarium. I guess

06:22that's the whole head. And StemExpress says, yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's the easiest way. And I mean, we've actually had good success with that in the past. Buyer says, yeah, make sure the eyes are closed. And then StemExpress loud laughter, tell the lab it's coming so they don't open the box and go, oh god. Laughter. So yeah, whereas so many of the academic labs cannot fly like that, they're just not capable. Buyer says, why is that? I don't understand that. StemExpress says, it's almost like they don't want to know where it comes from. I can see that. Where they're like in quotes, we need limbs, but no hands and feet need to be attached. We want to take it all off like in quotes, make it so that we don't know what it is. Okay. This is um I don't know what is debunked and what's not debunked about that because it seems like in the conversation, I mean, look, when they're digging

07:19through that bag of baby parts, which was the most disturbing part of it, um look, if people are going to get abortions, I I personally do not have a problem with them taking the aborted fetal tissue and using it for scientific experiments because the aborted fetal tissue already exists. They're already having abortions. And if abortions are legal, shouldn't there be something done with that aborted fetal tissue that may be beneficial to humanity? Shouldn't there be a way that they can experiment I mean, it's not like they're asking people to get abortions that would normally have kept the baby and loved them and brought them to adulthood. They're they're they're going to have the abortions. So if they are going to have the abortions, is it such a bad thing to use that fetal tissue for scientific experimentation? That's not the the disturbing part about

08:11it. Disturbing part about it is the visual aspect of seeing the the body parts. you shouldn't see that is what pretty much Yeah, but you know what what this article on the Huffington Post is saying is that what they did is they took shocking video of, you know, abortions, which is going to be disgusting anyways, and they're saying that, you know, Planned Parenthood's making all this money off of selling all the the parts to, you know, But in in what Planned Parenthood is saying is, no, we just donate it to the to to science and and and and people that want to use it for medical research. So that's That's not what was going on the video. In the video, the woman was talking about the amount of money that they would get doing it and it was thousands of dollars a week. And that's why they this they're saying that's a hoax and they're saying that the visual is what you're watching

08:56wasn't what the audio was. And uh Well, wait a minute, that doesn't make any sense cuz you see the woman say it. The group behind the videos is facing at least two lawsuits because it's fake. Uh here is Is it on HuffPost? HuffPost. Here, let's see here. CNN It's on CNN. And what is CNN saying? They're saying it's a hoax, too? Yeah, there's a company created to go against a left-wing advocacy group called ACORN. And throughout this article, it also says uh But ACORN is the same company that they were they were accused of they were trying people were trying to get funds for creating prostitutes or for uh for pimping, remember? Remember that whole thing where there was a bunch of people that were trying to get funds. The first part here it says there's a fake company set up called BioMax Procurement Services. Right. And that was the hoax. And then according to this is the

09:46hoaxer's website, it was a 30-month long investigative journalism study by the Center of Medical Progress documenting how Planned Parenthood sells body parts for aborted babies. Right. Um that's not true. It's not real. It's not true. So they don't sell them. Yeah, it's flat out untrue. That's what this says. So well what it was the woman in the the thing which she was talking about body parts? It's the short video. They were baiting them into conversations. About other things? About selling stuff. It says that they really don't do that. They were just trying to get them to say it kind of. But it was but they did get them to say it. So what is the deal? She was talking about the bottom line about how much money they could make and how much money she could add to the So was she like a rogue lady for Planned Parenthood? That's what they're saying. And they're

10:26also saying that like you know I mean this bill that was passing was going to cut off all funding to Planned Parenthood. So this was like a full-on attack trying to get rid of Planned Parenthood by anti-abortionists. Jamie, scroll back down back where you were again. Um, the details of the processes are enough to trouble anyone. Non-medical people don't talk about the price of requesting, removing, or shipping organs, pieces of flesh for the from place to place. Most of us would freak out if we listen to professionals in the local hospital, funeral home, or medical examiner's office discuss details about how a dying person's request to have their body parts donated for transplants or scientific research actually gets carried out. It turns out that the cadavers livers uh okay, they don't walk themselves over to the local hospital or medical school for free. I

11:09just don't understand the outrage was that for a lot of folks was that they were selling these uh baby parts, right? So that is or isn't true? That's not true. So why was that woman saying in the video? Because it's a big hoax video. That's why she has to make it sound like saying that but without without further explaining how is it because the woman was actually saying those things. So what part is a hoax? Cuz you were also said that that woman was kind of rogue. Because she was saying she was talking about how much money they could make from it. I'm really confused. Like what is the hoax? I understand that the people that were um that were making the video weren't really what they were saying saying they were, right? These people they set this up and they got inside Planned Parenthood. The way they were going through the the body parts, the way they were picking up the body parts and

12:03explain That was all real. I mean it was 100% real. The way there's there's no way it wasn't unless they were rubber baby parts and they had actors. Is there a chance the audio you were hearing wasn't what would match up the video? See the people's faces. You could see them saying it. I mean unless it was just brilliantly done by terrorists. This says that if you plow through the transcripts you won't see what they I mean and all this also could be talking about a separate video from what you just saw. Maybe, but uh these things are so so confusing. So there's a newly released video that just came out that's uh literally 2 hours ago um online and this is the Stem Express CEO. I don't know, man. It's uh it's it's just it's really one of those things. Abortion it becomes one of those left or right issues where you're either a left-wing person you support abortion or

13:03you're right-wing person you think it's horrific. I uh I I support people's right to do whatever they want to do. I I totally support people's right to have abortions but at a certain point in time like when is an abortion completely up? Like when you have a 9-month-old baby inside you and you decide to kill it before it comes out of your vagina. That's why it's illegal. Yeah, but at a certain point in time that baby's still viable outside of the womb but you could still have an abortion. Yeah, but is it I mean they changed it so many times. I think it is it like 6 week or no? It's some it's something. It's not too crazy. I mean it's two it's like two or three months or something like that. I think it's the most. They were talking about 22 week old. They were talking you know they were talking about like when you can like really pick out organs when you could

13:46see them. You know, that's all that's 4 8 12 I mean think about it when you start going into that's 6 months old. That's like whoa. That's uh that's a baby. I I I would really like to know what the statistics is of what you know if you're going to get an abortion how long until you wait because I it seems like most people I know once they find out they're pregnant they're like next day I'm getting an abortion, you know? they know it sucks with you. Right. But I wonder how many people are like you know like 3 months in like you know what? I think I don't want this baby. That's when it gets kind of creepy in my opinion. Yeah, well you we all know people that are completely irresponsible and if you give them a way to justify anything and so they don't have to take responsibility for it. Just take take it out of me. You know, they don't want to think if they don't see it in front of

14:38them they don't think of it as a baby. The the question really becomes should you be allowed to do that? And it's not my call. I don't know whose call it is. I don't know I mean some people think it's their call. Some people think that they should be blowing up abortion clinics and shooting doctors and you know, they decide that they're there to protect the children. And uh that gets pretty up, too. It also gets pretty hypocritical because those are the same kind of people that are supportive of war. You know, once you your kid eats reaches 18 or if that kid's from another country them, you know? It's just weird. But it was it was real weird looking at the unescapable reality that video. So whatever whatever's fake or real in the conversations that they're having um there's no denying at all those body parts and that's where it gets really crazy. Well, we all knew that existed. I you

15:27know when when you get an abortion you what it usually is like a like a car wash like uh you know, vacuum. You know, it's like a it's a big tube and it goes into like a humongous like little pot or or a a tank or whatever. So you know if you're going to look in that tank at what you're going to see. You just not you're not supposed to see it, you know? Well, yeah that's isn't that kind of part of the problem, right? You're not supposed to see it. Yeah. I mean if you look at anything like that you're going to be like that's up. And Yeah, but it's that is the up one, right? Because babies are helpless and once they're alive we want to take care of them. And here you got these people with tweezers picking up arms with little fingers attached to it. It's like whoa. Whatever is in that video that's fake you know, that's not that's that's that's terrifying. I don't know, you know.

16:21I don't know what's uh I'll Google debunked. And I'm sure there's uh a lot that tells you. It's just left-wing sites are saying it's debunked. Right-wing sites are continuing to uh promote it. It gets really weird. What a bummer. What a what a bad way to start off a podcast. Yeah, that's what I saw. That's how I started on my morning. That and the Cecil the Lion's cousin who killed the safari guide. In the same in the same place where Cecil the Lion got killed this guy was leading walking photographic safari tours. So the safari guide for the walking photographic safari tour got taken out by a lion. The lion was like what are you doing outside the Jeep, you dumb And just just jacked him. It's hilarious that people that stupid that they think they think they can walk around where lions are walking around in this enormous enormous park in Zimbabwe where lions were protected.

17:28Have you ever been to one of those like safari tours where like the animals come right up and like the lions and the monkeys just jump on your car or anything like that? Um, I've been to one of those wild animal parks in New Jersey that do that. It was uh it was real weird. It just it just feels goofy. Like you're in your car and there's monkeys jumping on your car and they'll break your windshield wipers. They do all kinds of up to your car. I don't even know if that place is still open anymore. But it's just it's odd. They would let you drive around in your car and uh you'd be on this tour and that means better I guess than the zoo but it's got to be up for the monkeys cuz it's like the same thing it's looking at people through glass except you're looking at people through glass that moves on rubber wheels and you're just looking at these people that are free and you're stuck in this

18:15enclosure and they're driving into your house. You know, they're on a road but it's it was weird. It's it's like there's something up about zoos. Just something really up about zoos. All of them. You know, less up for some animals like my joke about giraffes. The giraffes seem to be pretty happy at the zoo like babies can feed them. You know, it's like it's true, man. My 3-year-old when she was when she was three rather we we brought her to the zoo and she was feeding giraffes with her hand and there was no worry at all. Everybody's laughing and having a good time. No giraffe has ever up a kid at the zoo for feeding it. It'd be really interesting to see if animals could talk and be like no, dude you don't understand. I get to hang out here as people feed me. I don't have to do here. Like it might be the Cecil the Lion Killer costume is uh coming out or it has come out which

19:07is interesting that they would actually do that. It's actually a decapitated lion with a dentist outfit with blood all over the dentist outfit. And the guy that owns the company said that they've had so many requests for it so that I guess that's a thing this this Halloween. I'm not shocked. the lion costume Of course. That had to come out. You knew that was coming out. I mean who who didn't see that coming? There it is. Cecil the Lion splattered all over The guy's still in hiding, huh? Nobody seen that dude. I think I heard just the other day he just opened up his business again. I'll check No. Have you looked at his Yelp page? It's not good. I heard I heard he was going to reopen up his business in September. That's kind of up about Yelp cuz they're not even reviewing his business. They didn't go and get their teeth cleaned. Well, I I hope I haven't looked lately,

20:01but I hope Yelp stepped in because I mean yeah, it got where it was just dead lions and his like like photos where his dentist office was just dead lions and They can put photos? Upload photos of food. stuff like that. This this is my lion after I brought it to the dentist. Wow, so TMZ did a poll with almost 16,000 votes if that was funny or offensive about the Cecil the lion costume and 66% said that's offensive. You know why? Cuz there's 66% of people so stupid they post on CM TMZ. Those people are apes. Yeah. Those are the the those are people too dumb for YouTube. Like YouTube's like you're too stupid for our comments. You got to go over to TMZ. You got to go post over there. What do you think? Finally someone wants my opinion. I think it's a violation but Cecil the lion was my lion. He's a beautiful animal. Jimmy Kimmel cried. Jimmy Kimmel cried and I'm going to cry

20:55too. Jimmy Kimmel gave me the green light to cry. It's pretty sad. Well, it's up. It's it's up that the only way to save lions is to make them valuable for hunters. That's the Ultimately, that's the most up thing about it. You know, that these people The idea that there's like these two types of of hunting for conservation that kind of makes sense to me. And the like when you have to kill certain animals because they're killing other animals. Like if you have too many lions and you have to control the population, but that's not really the case. Like that kind of hunting for conservation makes sense to me. Or if there's like A lot of people don't realize that that rhino that that guy paid a shitload of money to shoot, they were going to kill that rhino anyway. They had to kill that rhino cuz that rhino was killing other rhinos. And when they do that, they they have to

21:51This is a like a non-viable male. It's not breeding anymore. And so it was attacking other males and killing them. And it even attacked female and killed it, they think. So that's that's an animal they have to kill. So if if you get a guy who's willing to pay you a shitload of money to go kill that rhino that you were already going to kill and then that money goes to conservation, that makes sense. So those are the two cases where hunting for conservation makes sense to me. Other than that, hunting for food is the only thing that makes sense to me. I don't get the idea of hunting like an animal just because you want to like add it to your collection. I think that's kind of up. Unless it The only thing The only time it makes sense is that it has to be killed. They don't have to kill those lions. There's not enough lions that they have to kill them. It's not

22:34like there's an overwhelming number of lions like they have to take them out because they're eating each other. Like bears in Alberta, like they got a real problem with bears in Alberta. They have too many of them. So they That's why they let you kill two of them. They're like, "Please come up here and kill some bears." And they have a real problem with with wolves up there in BC. They don't even have a limit. You can kill as many wolves as you want in BC. They want you to kill them because they're everywhere. They kill people's cows and those are the times where hunting for conservation makes sense to me. But this lion thing, this these are rich dudes that want to go over there and they want to fill their trophy rooms up. And that's that's a real natural reaction that people have that that's gross. So just like just so everyone knows, I'm not on the side of killing lions

23:21or anything. Giraffes, anything unless it's for food. The You see the thing about lions is like they killed that rhino, everybody ate that rhino. The villagers came and they they they fed hundreds of people with that rhino. Rhinos apparently taste good. Like rhinos apparently are like like beef almost. And that all these people were excited to cut off pieces of that rhino and have protein. Nobody's lining up to eat a lion. You know, that's a Apparently though, mountain lion tastes good. Mountain lion supposedly tastes just like pork. And it's apparently something that people have been eating since they since the pioneers came to America. I never had it. It's supposedly good with like a blueberry sauce. They make like loin like lion mountain lion loin. I would try it. I would definitely shoot a mountain lion. Those ate my dog. And I don't like them. I don't trust

24:14them. They're just running around in our woods and there's no shortage of them either. Especially in California. California is so goofy. They don't have a mountain lion season in California because we don't have a Department of Fish and Game in California. We have a Department of Fish and Wildlife. It has a totally different like nomenclature attached to it. And because of that, like it's run by like wildlife lovers more than it's run by like hunting advisors. So like in every other state, they look at the game numbers, they look at the mountain lions, they look at like and they try to manage it accordingly. And they also try to manage it because you get a lot of money from hunting tags. In California, they they're less concerned with that and because of that they lose out on a lot of money on hunting tags cuz they'll have they'll have less hunters cuz they literally

25:01have less deer. And the reason why they have less deer is cuz they have more mountain lions. It's it's a real controversial thing with with hunting in California as opposed to with every other state. It's interesting. It's all interesting stuff. It's like what what people decide and not decide that you can eat because there's all or what you can kill. Because in these places where they have these hunting laws, you can just drive down the street like California. Drive down any street and you're just going to pass by Jack in the Box and Burger King and chicken places and they're filled filled. Yeah, California finally has wolves. Yay. Gray wolves. Pack of wolves. Fantastic. Wait. disaster. Did we put them there or did they just kind of uh Well, we put them in Idaho. We put them in a lot of other states and they're making their way down to California now. And what's the purpose

25:50of having wolves to to kill them? Because people are They forget they forget There was a story that I tweeted the other day about um famous strongmen throughout history, famous athletes throughout history. And one of them was a guy who tried to split these two trees and he got stuck in between the two trees and he got eaten by wolves. god. This is like in the you know, the BC days. But I mean we've talked about this numerous times on the podcast. How many people throughout history have been eaten by wolves. That was a huge issue until people started killing the out of wolves. And that's why we look at wolves now like they're our dogs. We look at them like they're pets. They were never pets before. They were always these terrifying animals that that that killed human beings. That's why they were always a part of folklore. That's why they were always a part of stories like

26:47the Little Red Riding Hood story or Goldilocks. I mean there's always the three pigs. There was always stories of the big bad wolf cuz wolves were something that everybody was really scared of. The wolves in Paris story from the 1400s. Wolves killed I think it was something like 40 people in Paris, France in the 1400s before they they rallied together and killed these goddamn things. And during World War I, the Russians and the Germans literally stopped shooting each other. They had a cease-fire so they could kill wolves. Because there were so many people getting killed by wolves, these soldiers would be on patrol and they would never find them. They're like, "What the fuck?" And they'd go and they'd find like a foot that was still stuck in a boot. Yeah, and their bodies would be eaten. Wolves would just They were getting these super packs of wolves of a hundred wolves together and they

27:37would just kill people. That's always been the case. Just we eradicated them from our lives and we no longer have a threat of the wolves. But now they they implanted them. They took them from Canada where they have a real problem with them where I just like I said in BC, you can kill as many wolves as you want. You can go to BC right now and you can kill 50 wolves today. If you could find 50 wolves, you can kill them all and they want you to cuz they're hard to kill. They're hard to find. They're smart as They they they work together in packs and they decimate moose populations. They decimate elk, deer, cows, whatever the they get a hold of. They'll eat your dog. They'll eat everything they get a hold of. And that's what they do. They run around, they eat things. So some I'm sure goofy liberal conservationist decided to take these wolves and bring them from northern Canada and these big

28:29ass gray wolves and bring them down to America. Here's a a picture that Jamie just pulled up. Wolf attack Scroll down so I can read that again? Wolf attack leads to state of emergencies in Siberia's and Russia's Siberia region. This is 2 years ago. There was 400 wolves in a super pack running around. Jesus. up people. The governor of Russia's largest region has declared a state of emergency after a surge of wolf attacks. wolves, man. People are just so goofy. We we have this beautiful thing that we've created. We've created a amazing thing in cities. You know, you go to the grocery store, you get your food, you walk down the street, you hold hands with your kids. No one's looking over their shoulder for bears. And because of that we have this real detachment from the rest of the natural world that is outside of our cities. And we live our whole lives in these

29:24cities and our perspective of animals is completely shaped by these cities. But these animals out there don't give a about you. They don't give a about your city. They exist to eat and kill things. They don't have language. They don't have culture. They They don't care about you. And all our ideas about them are all from The Lion King and some goofy ass cartoons and movies, the anthropomorphized versions of these animals. It's It's really ridiculous. And that's where all this Cecil the Lion King comes from. Cecil the Lion King. Cecil the Lion King. That's where all this Cecil outrage comes from. Meanwhile, Justin Wren, who was on the podcast yesterday, told us that 5,000 children under the age of five die every day in Africa from bad water. Every day 5,000 human babies die because they don't have water. And we're worried about a lion. That by the way killed who

30:28knows how many other lion babies because that's what they do. When you see a male lion and he is successful and he runs a pride, guaranteed that lion has been killing baby male lions cuz that's what they do. When the babies are born and it's not theirs, they just slaughter them. They slaughter them. When they go into a new kingdom and they they take over and they some females and she's got males, little male babies, they slaughter them. They chase them down and they kill them. I put a video up of it on on Twitter. People went crazy. They went nuts. Call me an for putting up a video of nature. It's nature. It's It is This is what happens. So, these people that are happy now, we finally have wolves in California. It's amazing. One day you'll be walking with your little cocker spaniel and a wolf's going to come along and eat you and the cocker spaniel. It's been 100 years almost that since

31:25that we've had wolves in California. So, I think that's what they're more amazed at. Yeah. These people are so stupid. Why don't they bring back dinosaurs? We need more dinosaurs. We're going to bring back dinosaurs to Arizona. There was a Arizona was an amazing place when dinosaurs roamed. They used to fly. They used to fly. We're going to have pterodactyls. Launch our pterodactyl, governor. Yay! They're going to open up the cage. It's going to swoop right back, kill the governor. They released Somebody released a funny video where they showed that photo of Steven Spielberg in front of the dinosaur and they went to people on the street and go, "What do you think about that?" And almost everybody was just like, "I can't believe he's an ass. I can't believe he did that. He should be held accountable." I guess Nest- a fake triceratops, right? Yeah. Yeah. I guess Nestlé water just

32:15got caught from stealing a bunch of natural water and so a lot of people are protesting Nestlé for stealing California water while we're in this huge drought. Come on. Yeah, I guess That's real? Yeah, Nestlé pays only $524 to extract 27 million gallons of California drinking water. Come on. There's like four companies that get exempt from that water ban. What the And they can sell it? Yeah, the bottled water and alcohol and all sorts of stuff. of goofy deals have these made with politicians that they could steal water during a drought and then sell it to us? Yeah. That's insane. For $524 they stole 27 million gallons of water from 12 springs in Strawberry Canyon for the brand. Oh my god. Isn't that ridiculous? But yeah, we can't wash our car or take a over a 5-minute shower. Corporate America, folks. Corporate America. You know, corporations are beautiful in a lot of ways. I mean,

33:19that's the root why we have these microphones. It's why we have these laptops. It's why we have cell phones. It's all corporations that created them. But corporations, they're all about infinite growth. They constantly want to make more money. Every year they're supposed to make more money. If If a corporation makes, you know, X amount of money one year and then the same X amount of money the next year, they're a failure. Which is hilarious. That's ridiculous. Like if they made Like if Apple Apple makes like whatever they make. Let's Let's just make a number. Apple made $4 billion this year, right? If they make $4 billion next year, they failed. You're supposed to make $4 billion plus. The new money. It's incredible, man. It says here the most popular size bottle of Arrowhead is 1 L and it retails for 89 cents, putting the potential profit for Nestlé in the tens of billions.

34:15So, they're just making billions of dollars on water that they've taken from us while we're going through a drought. It only costs 89 cents for a 1 L bottle of water? Why do I feel like it costs more? Could it be vending machines? Vending machines are always like a buck fifty, right? vending machines are super overpriced. The whole thing is gross. It's gross. It's gross across the board. And it's also gross that like there's um there's a lot of crops that use this water and um there's a lot of waste involved, apparently. And like there have been bills that were passed like Arnold Schwarzenegger when he was governor said that they had come up with a solution, um at least a partial solution, and he was bringing it up to one of the other politicians and the politician was saying, "Even though this isn't effective solution, I could never bring it before my people. I can never

35:07endorse it because my people are the agriculture people and those are the people that keep me in office. So, I'm going to just tell you right now, well we're just going to create a bunch of red tape and it'll never get passed and even though it's it's logical and it makes sense, I'll never support it." And he was like, "What the Like this is This is what's wrong with politics and this is what's wrong when you're dealing with people that are not really the representation They're not really representatives of people. They're representatives of whoever got them in office. They They can pretend to be the representatives of the people. Sort of like late night preachers pretend to be the servants of God. Really, they're just making money. Mhm. You know, they're making money and they're, you know, supposed to give 10%. Yeah. Well, late night preachers, you you know, you They

35:50don't even want 10%. They want everything you got. Have you ever heard what they tell One of the the funniest things that they have conned people into doing is they figured out a way to tell people like, "I know you don't have any money. I know I know times is tough, but what you have to understand is you have to have faith in the Lord. Give everything you can, the Lord will give you that back tenfold." Like they tell you if you're broke. So, they're going after people who are desperate and broke and they had all these these people that would give these these speeches. They would talk about what happened to them and they were saying, "Well, you know, I was broke and I didn't have any money and times were tough and I was wondering how I was going to take my bills and how I was going to pay for food, but I had this $100 that I was going to use towards my

36:36rent, but I said, 'You know what? I'm giving this $100 to God.'" And everybody starts cheering and clapping. And then from that, "Oh Lord, I got a new job and I got a new car and everything happened and and and people are clapping and cheering and music starts playing and they build it up and they're just like making you come. They're like, "Oh." They like It's like this stimulation thing that they're doing. And they're actively targeting people so stupid that they really can't do anything about it. Like these people It's like the right people to rip off cuz these people are broke and the reality is most people who are severely broke, they're going to stay broke. The vast majority. Whatever it is, 60, 70, 80%, pick a number. They're going to stay broke. And so that's the ones that they go after. It's just It's nobody cares. Nobody cares about them. Like you can you you you rip

37:30certain people off, people get really frustrated and angry. And you rip other people off and Do you think in the future that's going that's going to be not as big of a problem? Do you think religion's shrinking or growing? I think religion is probably overall shrinking, but stupid people are always going to exist. And so if you call it a religion or if you call it a cult or you call it I mean, there's a there's a lot of organizations that don't necessarily have some sort of a deity at the top of their their structure, but they're still the same thing. It's one person who is or one group of people, whether it's Scientology or anything else, one group of people that is offering you a solution for how to live your life and they have all these guidelines that they have set up and they want you to contribute and they want your money. They want your money and they want your

38:24time and they want you to donate. Like Did you see Going Clear? Have you seen that? Mhm. How scary was that? I I I think that any kind of cult like that is or uh like I I just saw a celebrity wife swap. I know this sounds weird, but Corey Feldman and Tommy Davidson were the two people that switched. Uh and they really showed you an inside look of how Corey Feldman treats his Corey Angels is what he calls them. He's trying to do kind of like a cross between Hugh Hefner and Michael Jackson or something like that. He pretty much has brainwashed these girls uh to to follow anything he says and it includes like a contract that they have to sign. Okay. Well, you know that Corey was a an actor his whole life. You know, he's probably a artist and it's most likely that this is a hustle. Hustle maybe, but I know a girl Let me let me say this right. I know a girl that knows

39:23a girl and uh that girl used to be one of his angels. And uh she left because it was too cult-like and the things that you were you had to do, once a week they would have an orgy and then they they would just do drugs, have an orgy, have people over, and then the days after that orgy, you would work out, do yoga, eat healthy, and it's she she said to the her friend how it was just like brainwashed girls looking for their chance in Hollywood, and he would be like, "Oh, no, you join this, and you follow my plan." And anyways, the the the episode goes really into that, and it it's it's watching them talk and watching how he reacts to the wife swap part of it. It's very interesting. It's uh it almost seems to me that like whatever had happened to in his past, maybe with Michael Jackson or his childhood, uh is really affecting him as an adult because he's very like

40:27he's not making any sense. Uh he's he's just like on a ton of drugs, first of all. Right. And you know, I know a guy who was in like a swap situation before with with a no need to name celebrity. Right. It was the same kind of thing where this guy like let his wife other people, and they were all together. And uh he you know, he came out of it. And one of the things that he said to me when he came out of it, he was like, uh you know, he told me a story. He goes, like, "Listen, man, they're all up. Anybody that's involved in that kind of situation is up. Like they're all crazy. Like that's part of what it is. But if you're in Hollywood and you're in like that like want to be showbiz circle, there's plenty of up people. You could find plenty of people. And if you can come up with some sort of a a name for it, Corey's Angels or whatever the hell he calls it, yeah, you could do it.

41:16Yeah, I mean, but Elron Hubbard was a I mean, he was a and his his his uh books were terrible. They were they were terrible. And if you like listen to him talk, he was not a charming guy. He was not articulate. He wasn't brilliant. He wasn't this guy that had this point. Like even like David Koresh, although he's a he played stupid songs, or that the idiot in Australia that claims he's Jesus, they have a certain amount of confidence and smoothness to them. Elron Hubbard didn't have any of that. And meanwhile, Scientology became a gigantic organization. I think for a lot of people, structure any sort of structure is comforting, and they're looking for something. So like, you know, to get back to the original point, is religion going away? No. There's going to have to be something big that happens to human beings for religion to go away. And I wonder if that big thing

42:14what would have to it would have to be people would have to be able to clearly see what you know and what you don't know. It would have to be a fundamental change in how we communicate. Because like when someone tells you, "I know that if you give that $100 to Lord, WILL PAY YOU BACK TENFOLD." If you say that to someone who's stupid, they go, "God, he knows. He knows the Lord will pay me back. I got to give that money, and the Lord is going to pay me back tenfold." You know, you really believe it. But if you could see that, "Oh, he doesn't really know that." If there was like a lightbulb that went over a person's head when they were telling the truth, or you could look in their eyes, and you could see the numbers. Like there was actual, you know, like a turkey tester. You ever you know, gobble gobble gobble. You ever see those uh Temperature gauge?

42:58Yeah, those things that put They have Do they use those anymore? They probably like leak chemicals. You're probably not supposed to have plastic inside of a turkey that you're cooking. But like something along those lines, like a temperature gauge or a number or something where you could see whether or not someone's being honest, where they really know what they're saying or whether or not they're bullshitting. Yeah. The what's interesting about this Corey Feldman thing now I I If you watch it, you'll be as I mean, I went frantic on it. I I'm not going to watch it. a little clip of him introducing you his angels. to get kicked off of YouTube for your Corey Feldman obsession. Or would we? Probably. Probably. Well, we can watch it over there, right? Can we watch over there and not really watch it? We can watch it, but we can't. Can we play volume? Maybe. Maybe. All

43:45right, we'll see what happens. Jamie's got good editing skills. All right, play that over here and freak me out. Go ahead. firsts in our relationship, so These are the girls. This is not it. This is down here. I was like, "That girl's hot. How's he getting that?" Um But uh it's the one right here. I know, I clicked on that twice. Meet Corey Feldman and his angels. The former child actor lives an eccentric and avant-garde lifestyle with his angels. What? Yeah, he Avant-garde? What does avant-garde mean? Oh, look at him. I'm Corey Feldman. You probably know me from Lost Boys, Goonies, Stand By Me. I'm in the prime of my youth, and I'll only be young once. I started acting and singing simultaneously. I've been a singer and musician for several decades now. I am a bit eccentric, a bit avant-garde, but if I was just like everybody else, I wouldn't be on your TV sets. Ooh.

44:45I have Looks really cool. a lot of women with their careers in Hollywood. And then I would realize they went off to be successful, and what did I get out of it? Not much. That's why I developed my company, Corey's Angels. Corey's Angels is a management, production, and development business comprised of beautiful, talented women. Girls sign a contract with us, so that when they do succeed, I can get rewards as well for the work that I've put into them. What? When the girls become angels, they move into my house. I see why you're obsessed now. you dragged me in. actress, model, and I'm one of Corey's Angels. I am Caitlin, and I am an aspiring actress, professional model, and Corey's angel in training. I'm Courtney. I'm a DJ, and I'm Corey's main angel. Hello. Also, I'm his girlfriend. Corey has changed my life in so many ways. He uses his own connections to help me be successful.

45:48He's sexy and gorgeous, and I love him. Okay. Thanks. Is this the polyamorous relationship? As far as what happens behind closed doors, it stays behind closed doors. Exactly. We have a very kind of strict regimen. Rule number one, we will put them on the angel diet. That means no meat of any kind. I'm a fruitarian, which means that I only eat fruit. Number two, exercise. I like watching you guys hop. Number three, we don't allow men on the property unless they're invited guests. That's how you do it. This lifestyle is not for the close-minded or faint of heart. I strive every day to do God's will. So he makes these girls wear these outfits. They're not They have to wear like these bra and lingerie. They're not allowed to wear clothes. Hold up, this is on ABC? Yeah. He's on ABC's going desperado, huh? Well, I tell you this Desperate as Network TV's desperate. Yeah.

46:53And what what's really sad is that Tommy Davidson was the guy that they swapped with, and his he has like a nice family, kids. And so they brought the angel over uh to his house, and the angel's like getting like bachelor parties and naked people in his house in front of his kids and Okay. Okay. You know that they arranged that. The producers arranged that. He seemed pretty pissed off. He He just left the house. He's like, "What the fuck?" Of course. Of course he did. Well, yeah, I'm sure there's space to it. is all 100% fake. 100% arranged. This is all planned out. Corey has his one piece of hair waxed that hangs strategically in front of his face. Yeah. I mean, this is a scam. What this is is is Corey's shot at getting back on TV, and what he's doing is getting those girls with him, and it's working. It's getting them exposure. They're getting on TV. So his plan is to be this guy

47:44who's the the the ringleader. I'm Corey. These are Corey's Angels. This is the hustle. We're going to get on ABC. And he's getting it for them. But whether or not this is all real, He's been doing the angel thing for a long time. cuz it's his This is his hustle. This is how he's getting some form of attention. form Sort of. I mean, it's This is his entertainment stick. This is how he's getting some form of attention. He when these girls leave the angels, he has contracts that he gets a percentage of everything they make from that on. Good. Good luck. You're going to get 50 bucks from the chick that works at Katana now. What is he What is he going to make? I mean, if they do get big, they'll have him killed. You know, if one of those girls gets huge, she gets to becomes the next Rihanna or whoever the she is, she'll have that guy killed. Please watch it though. It's on Hulu. It

48:34It's It just take smoke a joint, watch this. brakes of his VW bug and push him off a cliff. He's an Do you Do you have that video of him at at the baseball game? He took his band. You're obsessed. Look at you. This is This is crazy. He took He took his band, and he opened up or he played at a minor league baseball uh game, and uh he just watch it. It's pretty ridiculous. You are obsessed. Uh so check Here's his band. By the way, none of these instruments uh somebody told me none of these instruments are actually They're not actually playing these instruments. they're not. What do you What do you think they should be real about that? Well, they're authentic with their art. But he's still doing the Michael Jackson thing. That's why he has his hair like that. State College Spikes? What does that mean? Uh It's a baseball team. Yeah, it's like a minor league baseball team.

49:34People don't know what to do. Look at them. There's only like 20 people in the audience and they're looking at this like it's a This is Look at that one white guy bouncing around. He even stopped. He He bounced for a little and people like, "What are you doing?" Oh, yeah, you're right. What am I doing? Look at this guy with his camera. I'm going to show my kid. The guy on stage bottom right just laughing his ass off at how ridiculous this is. Look at him with his shiny pants. That guy is so bizarre. And look at the girls. But listen, man, if you're that guy and you you you have to be the guy that like lets these girls other guys because otherwise they're going to be They're going to get bored with you. You weigh 15 lb and you're a freak. like guys into his. Of course he does, dude. He also has They might not go into his house, but they have orgies. They don't just have orgies with him.

50:25Okay, other dudes are giving those girls dick, guaranteed. Macaulay Culkin Look, he threw the HAT DOWN. JESUS. THAT GUY'S LIKE, "PUT THE FUCK." THE GIRL'S LIKE, "Get Get the hat. Get the hat." Get Corey Feldman. to him in a second. Oh my god. What is this song? He's It's this He's trying to be Michael Jackson. Well, he's like a combination of Michael Jackson and something else. Sheen. Eddie Vedder. Yeah, Eddie Vedder. He's really weirdly pale, too. Oh, here you guys breaking it down for you. He's breaking it down. He can't make eye contact with people because they're they're all like looking at him like he's a freak. So, like he's doing all this crazy dancing and they're not reacting. It's very strange. And he doesn't look at them. He's sort of like looking like at like their knee area. You know what I mean? No, I don't watch. He did the Michael Jackson thing with

51:29the dancing. HE THREW HIS HAT AGAIN. I WOULD STEAL THAT HAT. I would steal that hat. It's on the ground. Why isn't anybody going for it? These people are Someone go. You had your chance. Look at the the Oh, he's got He's got tangled up in some cord and the angel had to rescue him. He's tangled. He's tangled. Look how Look how little the stage is. There's cords everywhere. Is there like a hot air balloon holding those cords up? Why is there a cord? Those cords they go straight up into the sky. Why wouldn't he just stay in place? He was complaining that he got set up on this whole event. Set up? Yeah, that someone him. That's why he was so is that? What do you mean? How could someone set him up? He's He's dancing. They're saying that no one there? Yeah, well, it was after a baseball game. It was unprofessional and yada yada yada. Oh my god, he's an idiot.

52:15He He lost his Special Olympics gig gig because of this video. What? He was supposed to play this a Special Olympics gig and he lost it after this video, supposedly. He's upset about it. Olympics? Can you imagine if he got booed by people? But does this I shouldn't say because they don't have They have Down syndrome. Transtarded. They're They're something wrong with them. is not a real word. That's why I I resent the fact you're not supposed to use for people that are idiots. And then I went and used it for people that have legitimate issues. That's uh he's He might be There's something wrong. There's something definitely wrong. But it's also like there's that thing that happens when you become like a Gary Coleman or like someone who's a a personal You're a punchline. And you're kind of on the outside like that where they get real freaky. They get like they

53:08get desperado and it all becomes one attempt after the next to try to get attention. You know, you see it a lot from reality stars that like they their their 15 minutes ends and then they start scrambling to try to like do new stunts and new different things. Do you remember that kid was on the The Real World? His name was Puck. Puck. Yeah, he's No, I saw him on Sunset like uh maybe a year ago I saw him on Sunset. Okay, how does a guy like that feed himself? Uh How does that work? like he wasn't. But what does a guy like that do for a gig? For a while I bet he made money I mean this He was around 20 years ago though, but he probably made money as a peer on appearances for like 10 years just being Puck. We still know his name. Hmm, I guess. I I pulled it out of the back of my ass. But the the reason why I know it is because he was that guy that was like always doing

54:00exaggerated things and always being ridiculous to try to get attention. But there's a It's a lot of those people, man. I mean that's that's that's like what the reality show world sort of creates and produces. It looks like Puck was in prison. He's now an ex-con. He's now living as a makeup artist who sounds like he hates women. He was with OJ in prison. He was with OJ in prison for 2 years. He was? With OJ? Wow. in for stalking. Oh my god. Jesus Christ. He was in jail for stalking? Yeah. Wow. Hmm. Okay. Poor bastard. But you know what I mean? That's my point is that these people that become like a punchline, they get to that And also the other thing is being a guy like Corey Feldman, I don't know him. Sure he's a fine fellow. Never met him? Never met him. Sure he's a fine fellow. I don't know. It doesn't seem like a mean person. He's not a hateful person. This is where I think it's That

55:04guy became famous when he was a little kid. And I think when you become famous when you're a little kid, your odds of developing as an adult like a guy that we can hang out with and talk to, just a normal balanced person, they're almost none. Like I've only met a couple of people that I know were famous when they were young that I could hang out with and talk to. Like Ricky Schroder, he's one of them. Ricky's pretty goddamn normal for someone who has grown up like in the public eye, but he has been kind of out of the public eye for a long time and he's got a family. He's very close to his family. He's got a lot of interests. He makes documentaries. He hunts. He like Ricky's a different sort of cat. So, he's like one of the few that like was famous when he was young that I could hang out with, no problem. Wouldn't Wouldn't you want to asterisk that maybe with like famous when young

55:56and still trying to be famous the whole time cuz some people want to get out and they they make it or they get out for a long time and then can come back. That's a good point. That's a very good point. Like Jodie Foster was famous when she was young. She was in Taxi Driver and she's famous now and she seems pretty fine. Seems fine. What do you got there, Brian? More Corey Feldman? You're kidding. news on Corey Feldman. 2 years ago Corey Feldman told cops he was molested and named his abusers, but they did nothing because they were too focused on the Michael Jackson investigation, which seems suspect right there that What does that mean? Meaning they were abused by someone other than Michael Jackson? Yeah, which He said that he writes the relationship with Jackson was the healthiest in his life and that he never abused him, which, you know, whatever.

56:41But he said he was molested and he told the cops who molested him and they did nothing. Well, why would he say that and not just say who molested him? Exactly. And then he spiraled into drug abuse having regular coke-off challenges with friends and doing heroin. Have you ever been in a coke-off? A coke-off? No. Do you think you could win? No. How what's your tolerance like? I I'm not into Like I I know people that can just sit there and do coke all day long and just whatever. I'll have like one line and be like, "Okay, I'm good. Got to calm down now. Got to You know, so it's cuz you drink so much coffee. Yeah, exactly. You go there already elevated. Trenta right now. A trenta has got to be unhealthy for you. Two shots in there, too. That's two shots. Yeah, you know what's worse is getting a trenta of cold brew, which is 10 times more powerful than regular coffee.

57:28What's not 10 times, but it is more powerful. It Starbucks says it's 10 times. Do they? Yeah. You should look at that. What is the new cold brew? could kill you. If it was really 10 times more powerful than regular coffee, that literally be like that Have you ever seen that caffeine powder that they sell? Yeah. Kids have taken like tablespoons of caffeine powder and died. Like it does It has absolutely killed people. And I would think that if cold brew was really 10 times stronger than a regular coffee cuz we have those nitro cold brews. I had cold brew today. This Caveman Coffee. This right here, this stuff is goddamn delicious. Cold brew concentrate, you take this, you put a third of this in a in a glass and then the 2/3 water is delicious and it's it's awesome. It's strong as but it's not 10 times stronger. Um so a 16 oz Starbuck Bucks cold brew coffee,

58:2316 oz, which is I guess their small, it's 200 mg. I don't think that's the small. I think that's the grande. 16? 200 mg, I think that's standard. Standard cold brew, that's 16 oz. I think 200 is around what it normally is. Uh what's cold Starbucks What makes you say it's 10 times stronger? what they told me at Starbucks. Oh, that's just some behind the counter. Starbucks uh He's trying to sell you a script. coffee Dude, it's 10 times stronger. It was brewed on an island where they make dinosaurs. Read my script. Uh a 16 oz ice coffee has Let's see, where's that at? It's not 10 times. I mean, if it's slightly more powerful, I'd be surprised. But you know, Starbucks is pretty strong anyway. Starbucks is way stronger than most coffee. They put more coffee in the more grinds in the thing when they when they brew it up. But the that we serve here, it's pretty strong. Jamie makes it

59:24pretty goddamn Um thick. So, ice coffee is Did you see Floyd Mayweather's car? He has a new car? Oh, yeah. What's he got? a I don't even know. Koenigsegg? Oh, Koenigsegg. Yeah. CCXR. Yeah, I've seen those things. 6.7 million, it says. What? Come on, those things don't cost 6.7 million dollars. Most things I was seeing was 4.7. This article right here says 6.7. One of two. Damn, it's a nice ride. drove it down to Fatburger on the strip two nights ago. Yeah. And such a crowd came that he had to get a flatbed to take it home cuz he didn't want to drive it. Why? I don't know. It said it The article said he was too scared to drive it home through the crowd. Through the crowd? He didn't want to it up. That doesn't make any sense. No. Yeah, it's not 10 times. It's 40 mg more. Mm, but Yeah. still it's more. That's some guy. 10 times more Redband. would they tell me that?

60:19Put me on Disentary. I'll pretend that I'm a girl. Come on, Redband. It's 10 times more. I hate when people do that. posting all day on TMZ, and then I came over here to work at Starbucks, and I want you to have me on your show. Have me on your show, man. Come on, Redband. Have me on your show. No, what's stupid is that you believe the guy worked at Starbucks. That's the Well, 10 times seems pretty high, and I thought that doesn't seem right, but this today. Did you see this today? A kid fell and accidentally punched through a 1.5 million-dollar painting. Yeah. Play that. Play that cuz it's hilarious. First of all, how stupid are they where you could just have this thing right in front of people. Like watch this. Kid slips. Oh. Holding his drink and punched through a 1.5 million-dollar painting. And then this lady comes over. Oh, you What? Get out of here.

61:22Woo. Yeah, how was that just hanging up right there? they have it in casing glass? By the way, I went to the LA County Museum of Art the other day. Thank you. That's the one of the worst pieces of you'll ever go to. it is like a scene in a movie where you mock pretentious modern art. Yeah. Dude, I'm going to show you some pictures, and these are real pictures. Did you see the painting that was just a white painting that had nothing on it? Or the room where there's nothing in it except a chair? Yes, I did. Even even better, I saw the box. Did you see the box, which uh they're they're trying to uh say is a work of art? It's a Plexiglas box. This is it. It's roped off. Can you see that? Can you focus it on that? Just cuz so people could see how stupid this is. And there's some sort of pretentious explanation for why this box is significant. All it is is a Plexiglas box.

62:17Yeah. Like if you had it in your house, it might make a cool coffee table, I guess. Like, "Oh, that's a cool coffee table. Where did you get it?" "It's a priceless piece of art from the LACMA from LA County Museum of Art." It That place is dog It is one of the worst museums I've ever been to in my life. I've gone on rants about this in the past because I I love art museums. A Columbus Art Museum in Columbus, Ohio is a great museum. Uh even the Huntington Library, uh which is here in Pasadena, I believe, is one of the best art museums I've been ever been to. This one though, I mean, literally it was a joke. I I was so pissed off after going to it of how many rooms You're just walking into a room, and there'll just be like a shoe, and you're just like, "Wait, that's it?" Well, I went with my kids cuz I thought it'd be fun take the kids to the art museum. My kids love art. I thought they

63:05could see some cool paintings and And I knew we were when we first got there cuz we walked into this room, and it looks like there's these curvy walls. Like and I felt like, "Well, you go inside the curvy walls, there's probably some cool paintings." No, the curvy walls Yeah. And I went, "No, we're It's one of these places." And there was all these like super pretentious people that were like, uh "Please don't touch that. Please don't touch that." There Everywhere you go, they're like, "Don't touch. Don't touch. Don't touch." And one guy, I had my 5-year-old on my shoulders. She She likes climbing on top of me. She climbs on me all the time. So, she's sitting on my shoulder, and he's like, "Sir, can you please take your daughter off your shoulder? It's a safety risk." I'm like, "It's a safety risk? For who? For her?" I'm like, "I'm not going to drop her. Are you out of your mind? It's a

63:51safety risk?" I highly recommend taking them to uh the Huntington Library. It's a cool place where they have gardens. They have like I don't know how many gardens, like 10 different gardens. I've been Yeah, it's cool. garden is like a different like, "Oh, I'm in Japan now." It's like they also have one of the best art collections ever, including like the Blue Boy and uh a bunch of really famous paintings where you're like, "Oh, that's interesting. That's the you know, the the original Abraham Lincoln painting or whatever it is, you know." The uh LACMA is it also What is that? A rock that they have there? one of their things. In the back, it's just a big rock. hit somebody. Goddammit, they had No, stop. I paid, and I didn't have to pay cuz I'm a resident of LA County. You get in for free. But I said, "You know what? I want to contribute. I want to contribute to so I paid." And then I

64:39Then they had jazz, which is my other least favorite thing. They had that and jazz together. It's like super pretentious meets uber pretentious, and they collide in a shitstorm of hipsters. Oh my god, it was so gross. Then on top of it, like they have all these art books for sale, and we're like, "Well, maybe they have some cool art books." And this with his rolled-cuff jeans, like, "Please be careful. That's a delicate book." I go, "No, it's not a delicate book. It's a book. It's just a book, you It's all it is is a book. It's made out of paper, like regular paper, like a regular book. You clown." That was one of the biggest disappointments in my life cuz I was looking forward to it so much. being rough with the book. I wasn't even touching the book. My 7-year-old was. But she was just gently leafing through the pages of the book. She wasn't doing anything rough. And county-funded

65:36That's the gross thing is that tax dollars go to support this. They have one exhibit that's all junk. It's called junk. That's like part of the name of the exhibit, and you go there. It's like bottle caps that are glued to like a corkboard. Like you You You You put this on a frame and and hung it on the wall, and you actually are charging people to see this? Dog I mean, just total dog And what a waste of valuable space in Los Angeles. I mean, there's rooms like 10 times bigger than my house where it's just a lightbulb. They should just let homeless people move in. They really should. That should be the new museum is the homeless people collection. Just let them all over the ground, and you spray spray plastic on it to seal it and keep it in place forever. Like the homeless people turd pile. That would be like more interesting than anything they had there. If you like let homeless people

66:28You can come in and but you have to in this one spot, and you go under the ropes. There it is. That's it. That's the That's that thing, man. Goddammit, that makes me angry. This wall This curvy wall, which is kind of cool, you know, if it was like in your house, I'd be like, "Ooh, you have cool walls." But to say that that's a a piece of sculpture, the it is. you. How about that other one in the upper right-hand corner, the like the sticks? See the sticks? They have like They have like a half of a side of a of a barn. Ooh, look at us. We're crazy. We're crazy. Look at the one below it that's like a half of a house. Oh, look. It's like, "This is what a house would look like if it was here." You Yeah. I'm so angry. I wasn't angry though. You know why I was angry? Because I was going to take my I I was trying to figure out which way uh to go. Should we

67:19go to the Museum of Art, or should we go to the Museum of Natural History? So, we see dinosaurs and cool from the past, or should we see art? And we went with art. Huge mistake. Don't go again. Massive area. And not only that, this area is near one of the most important natural areas in Los Angeles, which is La Brea Tar Pits. Mhm. See if you find the junk collection cuz you if you want to scoop your eyes out with spoons. It's junk collection. God. Goddammit, it makes me angry. It was so gross. So gross and stupid. But like this is See that one over there? Scroll down. The the one with the feathers in the black right to the right of your cursor. This is the tar and feather. This is the tar and feather piece. This represents tar and feathers. No, it doesn't. It's just feathers that you glued to a board, and you're making people look at it. You don't think You

68:18don't think people know what the tar and feathers was? Like what are you What are you trying to say? What are you trying to say with your shitty piece of art? It's just like a a kid's science fair. You know what I mean? Like when they're when they have to do like a construction board thing. Like Yoko Ono is somehow responsible for this museum. Well, Yoko Ono had an exhibit that I went to see once in Boston. And one of the exhibits was a block of wood with nails in it. And next to that was a a box of nails and a hammer. And they asked Yoko Ono, and they said like, "Well, what is this about?" And she said, "I want people to contribute. They be enthusiastic about the art, so they contribute." So, she encouraged people to pick up a nail. That's it. And hammer the nail into that block of wood. She And I'm like, "If you want people to be enthusiastic, take the nails

69:11and put them in your forehead. Just put them right in your forehead and let people whack those. You'll have a line around the block. People will sign up months in advance. Look at her art. What it What does that say? Incredible what? So, what Yoko Ono's incredible what? Video. Video. They they They better be joking. They better be joking. Come on, HuffPost. Reaffirms that she's the queen of everything. Is that really what it says? Oh my god. Yoko Ono's incredible new video reaffirms she's the queen of everything. No, she's the queen of tricking John Lennon into being with her. Oh my god. Yoko Ono Plastic Ono Band and she's like dancing and screaming and You want to hear it? Cuz it's amazing. Oh no, what's he doing? Yeah, what's that dude from uh Can we get Questlove there? Why did you do a Quest? Get out of there, Quest. I'm a bad dancer with no regrets.

70:23We got interrupted by a pop-up for HuffPost newsletter. No, I don't want your newsletter. No. No no no no no. So, see that Ted Cruz guy over there? Um I know someone who's having Ted Cruz come over their house for a fundraiser cuz they're a big supporter of Israel and uh we're invited to go. I'm trying to figure out if I should go. Some people are saying I should go just for the material. I was But I'm like, "No, I'm just going to get angry. I don't want to get angry." That I mean, have you ever heard that guy talk? He's Ted Cruz. Why don't you That's a good good question. Why don't you Google Ted Cruz is a dummy and then find whatever videos they have. He's like Sarah Palin if he was a guy with a head injury. If Sarah Palin was a guy and he got hit in the head. He's not really running for president. I agree with that. Let's listen to him talk. It's just so stupid. He

71:15Someone wasn't even born in America, so I don't know how he's going to be a president. He's born in Canadian land. And they would never have him. Listen to him talk. It's just what you do. and to coddle and appease our enemies. And so Putin, you better believe Putin sees in Benghazi four Americans are murdered and nothing happens. There's no retribution. You better believe that Putin sees that in Syria, Obama draws a red line and ignores the red line. Okay, now why do you First of all, stop right there. Sounds like a gay man to me. Mhm. Is that a gay man? Mhm. That does not sound I mean, not not to stereotype. Too late. There's a certain There's a reason why we have this stereotypical gay voice. There's a reason. Why is that reason, Brian? Getting in the ass so much it makes your voice go higher. No, because that's what they talk like. Okay, listen. If I talk to you like this,

72:13what am I What do I sound like, Brian? What do I sound like, Brian? A large black man, right? Large black man. A confident large black man who's threatening. Why? We recognize that. These exist in nature, right? Okay, here's one. What is that? It's a bird. Okay. No, PTERODACTYL IS LIKE BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? LIKE THERE'S SOUNDS THAT THINGS make and you go, "Oh, I know what that is." I My gaydar says that's a gay man. Sure. Listen to him talk one more time, please. Nothing First of all, I love gay people. There's nothing wrong with gay people. And not all gay people talk like this. We've had gay people in the pod like Josh Zepps. You would never know looking at him or hearing him talk that he's gay. Obviously he's gay. Talks about being gay. Unless it's a smoke screen. This man says he's not gay. said we will repeal every single word of Obamacare.

73:08Look at those people. All people are clapping. You know why the old people are clapping? They don't know any better. parties is their top priority is preserving their own hide. And if enough congressional Democrats realize they either stand with Obamacare and lose or they listen to the American people and have a chance at staying in office. That's the one scenario we could do it in 2015. If not, we'll do it in 2017. Okay, cut right there. That is a guy who's barely keeping it together. He can't wait till that interview is over so he could run out of there and throw a dress on and put some makeup on and some women's shoes and just rip his underwear apart and just take it from behind. There's not a doubt in my mind that that guy can't wait until that interview is over for him to be himself. He's barely holding it back like a dam. Like a like a creaky wooden dam holding back the

73:59river of his gayness. A powerful glacial river of gayness. He uh Yeah. Am I right or am I right? I I would I challenge anybody to argue with me that that's not an effeminate man. A very strongly effeminate man, which again, there's nothing wrong with that. I don't know the guy, but he seemed kind of gay. I would like a gay president. I would love a gay president. we we could use it. We could use a gay president. We've had a black one. I think gay gay before woman. Lesbian? Strong gay. Strong gay man. Strong gay man. Lesbian one, sure. As long as she doesn't hate men. As long as it's not one that had a a rough experience with men. How many are dicks to women, man? I don't want that. I don't want anybody with prejudices. You know, you're not responsible for all the men that have been dicks to that woman. What lesbians do you know that you think could be a fine leader other than

74:55Hillary Clinton? Um she gay? Or asexual? She is married. I don't know. Good call. So is Ted Cruz. Melissa Etheridge. That's a good call. I'll say Melissa Eth But Melissa Etheridge thinks and uh love her to death, but she also thinks that if she's on a plane, everyone on the plane doesn't have to worry because she will not be on a plane that crashes cuz she creates her own reality. But that's true. You think that's true? Yeah. Mhm. Is her something Listen, there's no evidence to the contrary. It's like when we had Bert on and Bert was talking about how he doesn't believe that you die. He goes, "Prove you die. I don't think you do die." "Prove you die." I was like, "Mhm, you got a good point." Can't really prove it, right? I mean, you know that people have died in your life and you know that things do die. Have you ever seen a person die or seen a thing die? Things

75:45die. But do you die? Or is No, who knows? Who knows if this is even real? If you're listening to my voice, you have no idea if you die. You really don't. You As far as you know, I am a figment of your imagination. You have created this entire reality. Everything from street lights to clouds. Everything is all a part of your absolutely spectacular and vivid imagination. Every experience that you have, every sensory experience that you've taken in your entire life may in fact be a part of your your brain trying to make sense of your imagination. And then there's Ted Cruz. He's just dreaming about dicks. I believe it. I think we are all programmed. I still believe it. Well, you believe in simulation theory. Yeah. Right? I believe that we are all a program in the future. And You know, I was thinking how program so weird then? Cuz I'm stoned somewhere in 2,000 years from now. But

76:45I was thinking how weird it is that we we never No one is born and remembers anything, you know, the first couple years usually. Like at least 1 year. You know, like you're kind of just born and then you're slowly deluded into being, "Hey, I'm a live person." You know, it and there's like this whole gray area where you just kind of Yeah, at the beginning that you're just kind of like, "I guess I uh" Well, there's a guy who has a theory about that, which is pretty fascinating. I forget the gentleman's name, um but what he said was that you are not really thinking. Like thinking as we know it does not exist until you learn language. And that until then, all you're doing is like having sensations and reactions to them, but you don't have reference. You know when your mom is there cuz your mom gives you love. You remember she gave you love. So you look forward to you cry to get her and

77:39then she's in there and you're like, "The love is coming." But you don't have an internal dialogue. You don't know that like, "Oh, here comes my mom. Give up the tit, Come on, I'm going to suck on some tit and get me some milk." That's why it's funny when you have a meme with like a kid thinking cuz you know the kids don't really think like that or kids' words. They The idea is that once we develop a language, then we can put things into context and then we have words for all these things like chair, floor, door, light. And we have this thing in our head like "Man, someone shut that door. I'm tired of seeing that light come through." And then you have that in your head. If they would just shut that door, then the light wouldn't come through. God, I got to get up in the morning. And you have this internal dialogue. And once that internal dialogue comes on, you know,

78:26talking about anything else that you have a a point of reference for or a word for, then you're really thinking. So what a kid is doing is like experiencing a bunch of things, but not thinking about it. They're not like recalling like they see it again, they'll be scared like if the dog barked, the dog freaked you out. And you see the dog again, the sound's coming. But do you have this oh, this dog is going to start barking again. Somebody shut him up. That freaks me out. They don't have that internal dialogue. So that's why they don't remember anything. That's why from the time we were like a baby and you're newborn, what you really start remembering is once you hit like five, six, seven. Once you have language and words. Once you have words you can recall. Once you have things that you can bring up again. Like my daughter will bring up stuff that happened to her when she was like three

79:15or four. You know, she's like, "Remember that time we saw that thing?" And I'm like, "Yeah, that was pretty cool, right?" Like, "Yeah, that was cool." Like and she's five and she'll talk about something happened a year ago. But, but it's because a year ago she had language. You know, she could talk a year ago. But, like, she doesn't bring up some that happened when she was one. Yeah. She doesn't remember it. So, late-term abortions till about two or three. I think one. Some kids talk Well, my daughter the first daughter was talking really good at one. It's weird. Like, some of them start speaking really young. Some of them they speak later, and it's it's a It's an interesting thing. Like, when when is someone officially thinking? I think they think that I think it's like the idea is that at 48 days after conception the soul enters the body was like the Eastern mysticism view or some

80:03some ancient view of like when when a a fetus is viable, when it becomes a person. That 48 days, and then up until then it was just a a bundle of soul or a bundle of cells. Takes 48 days to install the operating system. Um, something's happening. You know, you're you're accumulating so many different you know, your your brain is growing, you're accumulating senses, you're accumulating your ability to perceive, your eyes are growing, they're developing, your sensations are growing and developing. It's really weird, man. I had a dream about a girl that I hadn't thought about in a long time. I wake up and all I did for the rest of the day is like, oh, what's she doing now? Why I should talk to her. And then I texted her. And And I'm thinking, how interesting is it that something that I had no control of while I was dreaming was making me do stuff when I was awake. And I was thinking how

80:57how interesting that, you know, the whole shutting off when you go to bed and you're you're dead and when, you know, when you're sleeping, you're just you don't know what's going on, but having that world affect your awake world. you say world? World. Why what what is it Why do you insist on doing it? No, it's not. No, it's not. No, Jamie says world, too. Anything that Brian does, it's an Ohio thing. You say world. No, where the gas leak occurred. I might, but Say say 1,000th. 1,000th? Everybody says 1,000th. There's a th on there, and you have to say it that way. 1,000th. It is weird, though, to answer your question, that when you you you dream, you can dream about somebody, and then when you're awake, you can think about that person. And you like I literally like woke up and was like, man, I need to find out what this girl's doing. Like, it was almost not I was like being told to do

81:43something almost. And it was just because of interest for me, but it was something I had no control of. I didn't want to think of this girl, and, you know, but I was just that's just like an example of something that's happened recently. But, there's what other things though that you dream about and you don't even realize you had a dream about, but during the day you're like, you know, I'm going to buy some new shoes. And you're like, wait But, you dreamt about shoes the night before. You might not even remember, but you you you dreamt about red shoes. like shoes. Yeah. It doesn't have to be connected with your dream. That's a terrible reference. Well, you know what I'm saying now. I know what you're saying about the girl. That is weird what you that people they get they get contained in your memories. And sometimes they get contained incorrectly. Like, why is it

82:22about like exes? Like, you like generally a lot of times people like specially if you had a good time with that person, you only remember the good times. And then you get with them again, like you haven't seen them in forever, and you start talking to them and you go, oh, I forgot you're negative. And then they're like they're like still negative, and they're still like bitching about everything and complaining and always looking at the downside of things. That's uh that's something that for whatever reason absence makes the heart grow fonder. You know, we we eliminate those poor memories and only want to think about the good stuff. Except when there's police involved. I just remember that. Yeah, well, you have you have been in scenarios that have been quite a bit more extreme than myself. You ever heard of the Mandela effect? Mandela? Mandela, like Nelson Mandela. No, what

83:07is that? It's a theory that uh It's Mandela, by the way. Nelson Mandela. Mandela. Um, when a large group of when a large group of people have a vivid memory that's all the same, but it's false. Like, there's a large group of people that had a memory of Nelson Mandela dying in prison, but he obviously didn't die. Mm. Is that like the Berenstain Bears? where I was going with that. Like, it's come back around. I know it's been talked about before, but Again? It's come back around recently. Yeah, now they're saying that we live in parallel worlds and stuff. No, what it is is the Shel Silverstein. That I mean, I explained it last time. You know, Shel Silverstein came out the same time as Berenstain, and everyone thought or Berenstain, and everyone just put the two together thinking it was the same stain, and we just It's just a memory, and specially for a word that's that

83:49that's an odd word. Berenstain is odd, but Berenstain is pretty common. Yeah, there's deep Reddit posts about it now, and there's a top theory is that someone's gone back in time and changed Exactly. It's Shel Silverstein. Dude, people waste so much time. Some dude was tweeting me yesterday about the flat Earth. I looked up that video. Oh my god, this guy This is I don't normally do this, but I couldn't help it. And this This guy tweets me, I was worried at first, but Eric Dubay has some compelling arguments supporting flat Earth that can't be explained. So, I I tweet back in all caps, no, he doesn't. And then he tweets me, have you extensively looked into his research? First of all, if you're a guy that's making YouTube videos about the Earth being flat, that isn't research. It's just not. It's not re You're not a scientist. You don't wear a lab coat. You don't work for a major

84:46university. Just cuz you're some jackoff alone in your room obsessing about nonsense, that's not research. That's it. So, have you extensively looked into his research? There's definitely some going on with most of the ISS footage. So, which I quote I wrote back in all caps, uh no, he doesn't. No, it isn't. Or no, there isn't. No, there isn't. No, there isn't any And then I just I step back and just watch the comments. The comments are amazing. They're so amazing. People actually arguing for the flat Earth, people arguing against the flat You know who one of them is? My buddy Max Eberly. How'd you know? I saw it. Did you see it, or did you guess? it. I follow him on Facebook. I couldn't believe it. I saw My friend Justin texted me about it. He goes, dude, I you not, Max is arguing that the Earth is flat. I GO, NO! MAX IS NUTS. HE'S so nuts. And the Earth picture thing, too. The

85:48Earth picture thing? The same thing that you were talking about the other day about where are all the pictures from Earth from space? Oh god. Oh god. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. Do they not know that snipers actually have to take into account the curvature of the Earth when they're shooting people? Because the ball the bullets will drop. Like, there's a curvature of the Earth. Like, you have to There's that's a part of the calculation when you're trying to shoot somebody. Like, god damn it. There's there's to think about, and then there's that. Yeah, man. Well, people love to get worked up about nonsense. You know, like I posted about Cecil the I posted today about the lion that killed the guy in the photographic safari thing. So, I put this on Facebook. I go, a lion killed a safari guide in the same park where Cecil was killed. The safari guy had a name and

86:44was loved by the locals. The lion was not, in all caps, authorized to kill that person. I hope the other lions do the right thing and protest. I'm just around. And then I step back and watch the goddamn fights that are going on in the comment section, where people first of all are thinking I'm an because I I'm serious. Joe, you're smarter than that. You should know First of all, it reached 1.8 million people in the 2 hours we've been doing this podcast. How the that happened? But, Joe, you're smart. We talked in person before. Lions are designed to kill. They have lion brains. Will you shut the up, stupid? You trying to sell sound smart? Trying to say You think I really think that that lion shouldn't have killed that I am glad. Let me tell you this right now. If there's a guy that's on a photographic safari and a lion takes him out, I'm glad. You know why?

87:40Because I've been on the 405 at 4:00 in the afternoon. We could use less people. We could use less people. And anybody that's willing to go on a photographic safari, you're an If you want to go on a photo photographic safari in the place where lions live, you're ridiculous. You've watched too many movies, and for the sake of mankind, you probably should get taken out so everybody else could see, oh, okay, they're just lions. These aren't lions that are in a movie. These aren't lions from a book. These aren't lions from a cartoon. They're giant cats. Big cats. I got a little cat at home. And I take little things. I crumple up a little piece of paper, and I throw them across the floor. She chases them, dives on them, and puts them in her mouth. And she's a fluffball. She's a cat. These are 600-lb cats that regularly kill All day they kill things. They're hardwired to kill anything

88:33that's limping, anything that's weak, anything that's in front of them, including some stupid with a camera walking. You should be in an Iron Man suit, and you should be armed to the dick. That's what you should be. If you're going to walk around where lions are, it should be a You should be like mocking them. You should be in one of those Not the regular Iron Man suit, but the big one where the dude's inside of it. The big gray one that they had. The Hulk killer. Yeah, the Hulk killer Iron Man suit. That's what you should be in. Did you see Fantastic Four? Of course I didn't. I'm not seeing anything when they have kids. They redo it, and now it's a little like a young black kid that's the flame. Stop with your diversity. And Okay, I saw the comic book. You know, Blade was black. The flame was not black. You're making him black. I know what you're doing. Okay? Stop. It's like Annie.

89:25Black Annie. Black Annie. Just make a new one, man. I'm not against black superheroes. Make a new one. But when you say that Superman's black, I'm like, come on. Come on. He's not black. They're not doing that, are they? They are now. Someone's going to Yes, he should be. Do you remember when they were saying that Santa Claus they were doing a black Santa Claus and Megan Kelly got really mad on Fox TV. Did you ever see that? No, I don't remember that. People were so mad at her because she's like she made a video she was like there was a video you know on Fox TV where she was saying, "Santa Claus is not black, okay? Let's just get it over with. Santa Claus is not black. No, Santa Claus is not real, you Okay? That's the correct thing you should have said. Not that he's not black. That's hilarious. Saint Nick. But first of all, she's right. There's not a lot of black people in Siberia.

90:15You know? But you know who is black? Jesus. That makes more sense. Yeah, he was black. It skin of bronze and hair of wool. He had hair like like lamb's wool and his skin was black. He was Sephardic. He was a dark person. For sure. He definitely didn't look like that hippie. Let's let her play it. Let's listen to her. In Slate they have a piece on dot com Santa Claus should not be a white man anymore. And when I saw this headline, I kind of laughed and I said, "Oh, this is so ridiculous. Yet another person claiming it's racist to have a white Santa, you know?" And by the way, for all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white. But this person is just arguing that that maybe we should we should also have a black Santa. Listen, she's lying to your kids. is what he is. And just so you know, we're just debating this because someone wrote about it, kids. Okay, one more thing.

91:02that hilarious? She's got like TELL FOR THE KIDS. SHE'S GOING TO SAY it for the kids. Just in case any kids are listening, Santa Claus is white. White kids, listen, Santa Claus is white. That's ridiculous. me a picture, hooker. Show me a picture of this Santa Claus if he's white. ago. Two years ago. Wow. She's hot though. She's Why does everyone want to save the kids? Kids are kind of smart. At least they think they are. They're way smarter nowadays. to save the kids when it comes to Santa. Jamie, you don't know cuz you don't have kids. But my precious little babies need to be lied to. They need to be lied to about Santa. Megan Kelly's going to lie to them, right? I knew this kid he he gets bullied all the time and he was and I actually had got to see the bully bully him at on the playground a couple months ago. Yeah. And uh he was and I was telling him like, you

91:54know, you should get him back and and he goes, "I am. I am." And we made a plan where we photoshopped we found a photo of the his bully and we photoshopped him kissing another kid that's another bully and then we printed out a bunch of them and then put them all around the playground. Hello, dude. That's beautiful. Right. But it's so cool nowadays with like like these kids like he was like Like when I was 11, I never thought about doing crazy things like that to get back the bully. I just hid or something like that. But nowadays kids are so advanced that even when when when dealing with bullies, they're using technology. I love They got to be careful though that kid doesn't find out who did it and beat the out of him. You know, the problem with Yeah, man. But but why is it a natural instinct for people to do that to little kids? It's a natural instinct, right? Like

92:46like for those big kids to pick on little kids, it seems like almost like a natural instinct. It's a up instinct because like if you're bullied like bullying for me led me into martial arts and it it helped me ultimately. Like that fear of people kicking my ass led me to go and and train and do martial arts. But for some people, they don't do anything about it and they have like a particularly evil Like my bullying was very gentle. Nothing bad happened. Nobody put me in the hospital. Nobody stole things from me or terrorized me. I just was scared of certain kids and certain kids with me and I avoided them. Like I'd see them in the hallway and I'd go the other way. I'd try to find another way to get to the bus, you know, or I'd go way all the way around and look around the corner and make sure that certain kid that was that I was scared of wasn't there. But it was

93:36fairly mild as far as bullying goes. But we all know somebody who's like beaten up by bullies. That can change your life, man. It could devastate your confidence. It could ruin your whole year. It could lead to depression. It could lead to drug use. Like and I don't know what the can be done for that other than I've always suggested that teaching kids martial arts in school would be a great way to avoid bullies because avoid bullying because they would develop confidence and they would develop discipline and they would understand that that kind of is pathetic. That running around and beating on kids like this kid that you're talking about. They actually not only do they not do martial arts in school, they actually do the opposite of doing things like kickball or games where they're actually kind of promoting bullying. What's the one where you we all had to line up on the dodgeball?

94:30It's like right, you're teaching dodgeball which is hurting other people. But instead we could have learned karate or whatever. avoid dodgeball like the plague. Cuz I was in when I was 14 was the only time I remember dodgeball. This is like before I started martial Well, I was kind of just starting karate and I was scared of everybody beating my ass. You know, there was I didn't it was new in this neighborhood. Just moved there. It was my first year in this neighborhood as a freshman in high school and then there's just kids that were lighting kids up with these balls, man. Just whipping these balls at kids. They'd get hit in the face and everybody would laugh and I'm like, this is crazy. Dodgeball's crazy. And choosing partners. Remember you had to choose we all had to line up and I was like, "I want Jeff on my team. I want Todd on my team." And then just having to go

95:20through being cho picked last. Remember that? There's so much up that they they go they do to you as a young kid that you don't realize that's teaching you like This is your place in life. Yeah, like your first place, your second place. Sorry, you came in last place. Now we're going to throw a ball at you. Well, you know Malcolm Gladwell, he's got a book called about Outliers about people that perform really well at things. And one of the things that he brought up in this book was how important being successful is being born on a certain date. Uh but at certain time at a certain time of the year. Because if you're born at a certain time in the year, you miss the cutoff and you're older than the other kids in your class. And so like they were talking about like hockey players and that something about like there's like, you know, X amount of players, a

96:10huge percentage of them were born later. Like They had a They had a rule or something I think in Canada. Like if you're born on January 1st or December 31st, you're playing with this group or that group. And you could be the oldest kid or you could be the youngest kid actually if you're born on the 31st. All your friends are the day after you in another league. Yeah, so if you were one of those kids that's like 9 months younger than the other kids that are the you know, they're all 12, right? But one kid is like 9 months older or 10 months older. That's significant. Really significant when it comes to sports. And his theory is and it's it's really correct that the advantage that those kids have by being older leads them to get better as well. Like one of the things about jujitsu, this is a very important lesson for anybody who knows jujitsu because a lot of people don't

96:59like this aspect of jujitsu. Some people have this meathead idea that the way to get good at jujitsu is to go against the hardest guys, get your ass kicked and that's how you learn. Actually, that's the wrong way to learn. The best way to get good at jujitsu is to strangle blue belts. You go and you find people that are just learning but they're not as good as you. You choke the out of them. That's how you get really good at your technique. And people say, "Well, that's bullying." Well, it is important for the blue belt to at some point spar with black belts. It is important because when the or purple belts or brown belts because you need to know that there's a higher level of proficiency, there's a higher level of skill and then there's a shorter distance in between points that these guys are hitting. They're they're they're cutting the chase. They're

97:46getting they're they're capitalizing on very small openings and they they clamp down. And when they capitalize on these small openings, they they get submissions quicker. So you have to know that there are guys that are better. That's important. But to drill the most important thing is drilling and when you drill, you drill with like someone of your level and you just practice on each other. Like you choke me and you know, you'll do it like twice and I'll choke you. I'll do it twice. And it's just practice. And maybe you'll resist like 50%. Like sometimes like when you're doing a drill and I'll pretend to be resisting. I'll resist like a little bit so that you strangle me and choke because that simulates real life. Simulates how it would be in in you're supposed to be building your muscle memory. But the real way to do it the after you do that to get it really

98:31sharp is to practice on people with a limited amount of proficiency. Just to choke the out of them. So that's like the way that you ultimately get better is to practice on people that aren't quite as good as you. And then you eventually develop and you you get to a point where, you know, that seems kind of impractical, you know? But I don't remember what my my point was. Well, um choking people, sports Going against different belts, kid teaching bullying. Oh, getting better. So the the the idea by that is the real problem with that is if you're in a school and say you're the only white belt and everybody else is a brown belt or a black belt, and you're training with them. man, you might not ever get good. Like, you just might get wrecked all the time. And that's the idea with kids that are in sports that are so much younger than everyone else in their class. Or if you're

99:28pretentious, and they bring your precocious and you they bring you in a class early. He skipped a grade. So, you're in seventh grade now, Billy. Well, you got to go to seventh grade football. Good luck, you little You're going to get run over. One of my best One of my best friends growing up, the whole time we were playing sports, uh his birthday is a week after mine, but he's a whole year older than me. And so, he played sports with us the whole time. He's smaller than me, and doesn't look like he's bigger than all of us, but he would beat the out of every single person we would play every sport, football, basketball, baseball, track. When we were in when we got to high school, for some reason, he was better than everyone in that, too. He was a ninth grader, and he was starting freshman running back on the varsity team in the newspaper getting He But, he was a whole year older than

100:12everyone. And Ah, well, that's what it is. 15 years ago, no one was really getting that's a big deal, because your your body develops like very rapidly at a young age. And so, these young kids that are older than everyone else in their class, they have this significant advantage. And that advantage, according to uh Gladwell, it it it accelerates them onto success as a professional. That because you have an advantage, you continue to get better, and you can exercise that advantage over other people, which sharpens your skills. Just like, you know, the idea of taking, you know, getting really good because you're strangling blue belts. Not good for the blue belt, but it's good for you, you know, cuz you're already ahead of them. So, you're going to get better and better and better and better. I was held back uh in third grade when my parents got divorced, and I was a little young, and

100:57uh that didn't help me at all. But, you didn't try. But, you're not you're not into sports. You didn't even try. Like, what sports did you ever play? Soccer. Did you play soccer? How much did you try on a one to 10? Uh I hated it. I don't remember. Yeah, see? That's the difference. Um I was born in August. I don't know if that's a good I don't think that's a good month for professional sports. Like, if you wanted to go on teams, but I didn't do it. I mean, I only played baseball when I was little until I found martial arts. But, if uh I wanted to be a professional athlete, like a soccer player or hockey player, whatever, probably not a good month. I think the the good months are like February or something like that. February, March. the season starts, usually, like Well, you're also like way late in the year, you know? Though, you I don't I forget what they

101:43said what year it was, what what Gladwell said what year was the or what time of year, rather, was the best to start. It was an interesting thing, too. He had a thing talking about what the best year to um be born was, like in the 20th century. And it was like in the early 1930s, cuz it was right after the Depression was over, and like right after World War I. So, like there was a lot of jobs to be had, the economy was booming, and then you were at the front of the line for like this big baby boom that came on after that before World War II. So, you would be in positions of management, you would have these advantages. It's really interesting when you think about like how lucky you can be or how unlucky you can be in certain situations, and how that, like we're talking about bullying, can sort of flavor your whole life. Like, an unlucky roll of the dice can flavor your whole life. And

102:39also, he was talking about people that were born and that went through World War I. And he was like, "Well, even if you went through it, by the time you were out of the military, by the time you were trying to establish your life, you were already in your 40s. Like, you were you were already like trying to start a career at the time where most people were already clearly established." Really interesting when you really stop and think about like, most of us don't engineer our lives. You sort of just make the best with what you've you've got. But, there's a lot of consequences. There's a lot of factors that play on behind the scenes that we really don't take into consideration when you consider when you really think about like where you are in life. I mean, hard work and dedication and focus, all those things are hugely important. Um the the ability to stick

103:23with something, the ability to put in the work, to get up, to be disciplined. But, also, there's a lot of that you don't have anything to do with, man, that absolutely factors in. But, then there's that bitch-ass part of people that go, "Well, he's only He got there because he's lucky, you know, he's only playing football for the Dodgers or for the Dodgers." He He talks about Bill Gates and his 10,000 hours mastery and whatnot. But, a lot of what he's talking about here is that he got lucky or whatnot because his childhood home was really close to the University of Washington. He had access to some computer programs that other people might not have had the opportunity to get a hold of. True. So, he might not have been Bill Gates without being in the spot he was at the time he was. True. But, he might have been something else, too. I mean, it's also what he did. Like, Bill Gates

104:09used to work from like 2:00 in the morning till 4:00 in the morning or till 6:00 in the morning coding. His mother would try to wake him up, and he was always exhausted. She couldn't figure out why. Cuz the dude was up all night coding. Best time to work. Well, she would put him to bed, and he would like pretend to sleep, and then he'd wake up. He'd sleep for a couple hours, and then get up and and code. And I think that people that become successful, for the most part, they become successful because they figure out a way. But, would they have figured out the same way? Or would they have figured it another way? Or would they have been discouraged because of poor circumstances? You know, how many people who became successful got like take me, for example. Um not maybe with stand-up, cuz stand-up is like something you either just can do or you can't do, and you have to put in

104:52the work. I don't see any easy roads for stand-up. If you get good at stand-up, and you're headlining and killing, you put in the work. There's just no other way around it. But, it's TV-wise, I got lucky as I only auditioned for two TV shows ever, and I got both of them. That's crazy. Total dumb luck. Got on MTV Half Hour Comedy Hour because of stand-up. Then, I got a development deal. The development deal led me out to Hollywood, where I um they Disney Disney gave me a bunch of money, and I auditioned for a show. Just got total dumb luck that they were looking for some athletic guy to be in this baseball show. Got that. Then, auditioned for NewsRadio. Got that. Two shows, both of them on Just total luck. Unquestionably lucky as Then, even Fear Factor, lucky as They wanted someone who'd already been on TV. They wanted someone who understood competition, and they wanted someone who

105:45was like a comedian that could like work on the fly. Luck. Here I am. Dumb luck. So, those things I will never uh total dumb luck. But, also, you got to show up, you got to do the audition, you got to not choke. Like, there's non-luck factors as well. Like, there's certainly luck involved in everything that happens. But, there's a lot of other people that were trying out for that same show that were probably just as qualified as me, especially the first show, and they didn't get it cuz they probably choked. Maybe my luck was that I had gone through martial arts competition, so I was less likely to choke cuz I had done scarier so I was used to performing under pressure. So, maybe there was luck in that. Luck in the fact that I had this background. But, that's not necessarily luck, either, cuz that was hard to do. So, it's like this black and white thing that people

106:37want to put into, you know, when you look at like, this guy succeeded because of hard work. Well, maybe. Maybe he succeeded because of hard work and what time of the year he was born, and that he was older than the other kids in his class, and he worked hard, and he got there. There's a lot of factors. There's a lot of factors in everybody's success. There's a new drone prototype that Sony uh just released, and it can go uh up to uh it can carry up to 22 lb of cargo, and it can go up to 106 mph, uh and fly up to 2 hours. How many bullets is that? But, there's a really cool video that I I sent you, James, that uh it's showing it fly, and it's it's it looks like a mini airplane, unlike the the drones that we know of, where it's they're usually like circular or or like a square or something like that. This looks like a little mini jet. Uh but, uh I thought it was interesting because it

107:40carry up, you know, 22 lb is a lot to for something to carry. So, it's interesting. Like, look at the way that thing just took off. How come they can't make planes like that? They do. They have planes like that. Yeah, but I mean, for people. Like, not just like for jets, like for fighter jets. Like, look at the whole front end of that thing. Why can't they fill that up with passengers, and have that big circle in the center be that that uh helicopter thing that makes it just take off straight. That's pretty dope. There's another video below it that shows uh a little bit more of it flying. Um but, they're thinking about the selling this, so it could be used for like, you know, like Amazon and stuff like that, and pizza deliveries and and things like that. That's going to be a real problem, man. It's going to be a real problem for amateur pilots, for sure. Mhm. I mean,

108:28if if they fill the skies, if there become so many of those things, I mean, think about if these things become as common as I mean, they probably won't, but as cell phones. And they're just flying around all over the place. People are sending things. "Hey, man, can I borrow your baseball?" "Sure, I'll fly it over to you." Program it in. You see this Was this a This is in Ohio, right? This was a second one that just happened today. Arrest in drone plot to sup supply prison contraband. Oh, god. This is in Maryland, I I believe. Yeah. Uh Ohio just had one, also, where people are smuggling in drugs into like courtyards and stuff like that in prison. they got caught? Because the the wrong people got the drugs and there was a fight. Wow. Like guns? Guns in prison? That's hilarious. They're smuggling in guns. those thing, Pokémon cards? Well, what are they going to do when

109:20people start smuggling in 3D printers and they can just build whatever the they want in jail? What is that? That That Is that Pokémon? It might be tobacco. That was the most of what they had on that other one. Those little things are tobacco? Could be packets. That's what this is on top. Ah, who cares what it is? Just the idea that they can fly it in and drop it off. Did you hear about the Pokémon convention? Was it yesterday? the newsletter. I'm part of the fan club, of course. No, there was two gunmen that came into a Pokémon convention armed with 250 rounds or something like that. Everybody over 18 dies. Yeah. Look at this. Pokémon attack. I mean, who attacks Pokémon people? They're like the most adorable, nicest people in the world. But yet, look at that. You said world. Do you not like the word world? like world. Is that how you say world? How do you say it? w o r l d. Why do you

110:09put the r before the o? It rolls off the tongue easier than going world. World. World. World. How do you say it? World. No, no. You don't say it like that. That's the world. How do you say it? World. No, that's the right way. That's how they say it. No, you say world. How does he say it, Jamie? You say w r l d. You're saying it too many times now I can't even hear it. It's the best thing in the world. World. World. Okay, keep saying it like that. We're good. No, that's what I say. Hell you don't. You say world. Like world. World. No, he doesn't even say world. World. He says it world. w r o l d. That's what you say. World. World. The best thing in the world. World. Well, it doesn't matter. All right, we got to get out of here cuz it's about we're we're at 2 hours in. And I got to boogie. Uh, do we cover everything that's important in the world of the internet? Pretty much.

111:07Uh, if you see these things and you uh you know, there's anything up, just tweet it at us. And we'll we'll try We're trying to do these if we can, if we have the time, once a week, but it's tough. Thank you, Brian. Thank you. Always good time. Yeah, plug dates. What do you got? Uh, tomorrow I got a secret show with Russell Peters, Tiffany Haddish, Tony Hinchcliffe, Dean Delray, some secrets. And then Friday Will Tiffany Haddish be queefing into the microphone? No, but Tiffany Haddish's show She's done queefing? Yeah, she doesn't do that anymore. Why? Because she's on television now? She's on NBC now and you can see her show Wednesday, also. Jerrod Carmichael show? Yep. And also, I have a show in Ventura, California Friday at the Hong Kong Inn doing a full set there. Yeehaw. All right, deathsquad.tv for more details, Redban on Twitter. And that's it, you savages. See you soon.

111:57Bye-bye. Big kiss. Yeah.