Luis J. Gomez

00:00all this four three two one pow lewis gomez we are live we are live connected through the interwebs and through a network of comedians louis gomez who's jay gomez who's jay gomez why do you like the game why do you like the jay because go google louis gomez and watch how many baseball players all right just that's a problem making people use the j that's very pretentious for a guy like you yeah i agree no no it is i understand you have to but it's almost like well it's almost ironic because i'm such a piece of garbage so i would have like a middle initial like um right like you're like a luminary yeah some important some important intellectual yeah it is um but yeah it just it separates me as well but i almost feel like i i've made a joke at this point to correct everyone that doesn't say the j so if i didn't correct you oh i see i wouldn't be being true to myself i understand so

01:00louis j gomez thank you i feel like um you know i've talked about this ad nauseum on the podcast but i think this is one of the most unique times for uh like networks of comedians that we're all connected together in a way that we weren't really before it was always like east coast versus west coast for some stupid reason there was always this debate where the best comics are from the style of comedy but that seems to be out the window the internet yeah the best comics nate barghozzi lives in tennessee who's that he's a great comic sticky clean squeaky clean my son's godfather just did a netflix special uh how do you spell his last name v-a-r-g-a-t-z-e brilliant comic but he grew up in tennessee and he was like dude i don't want to live in new york or l.a good for him i want to buy a big house for 300 000 it's a mansion get ready for the zombies yes yeah the zombies you want to live in

01:53that house like that old dude and his daughter did you know you're going to live out there and have a perimeter protected yeah guys like stan hope he hasn't been in l.a he's been at bisbee for 12 years now that psychopath yeah r.i.p to stan hope's dog stand helped bird his dog yesterday did a big thing on social media about it very touching very touching they had to put their dog down he said i went through that last year with two dogs they both couldn't walk anymore i mean i held on as long as i can but i had to carry my dog in and out of the house i had to carry him to eat i'd carry him outside he needs 140 pounds right it was just it was why couldn't they walk he was old man i feel like the dog should have some good defense just wants to protect my house oh god uh no he's just a big dog that are that's really old he was 13 which is super old for a mastiff oh yeah there's

02:47a huge dog really old for me he's what's called a regency mastiff which is he was a part neapolitan mastiff and part pit bull but the guy who my friend joe who raised him and bred them he bred out all of the animal aggression so he wouldn't let any dogs breed if they're aggressive towards people or they're aggressive towards other dogs so what you get is this super chill massive dog oh wow yeah who's the athletic it's like they're small for a like a mastiff is like they can go like 200 plus pounds but those dogs are not very athletic they don't move very good right but this one was a mix so like 140 they're like a running back i got a kid so i have i have a hard time bringing beasts into my home that can kill a child very wise it's sad and i'm not one of these anti-pit bull people but i do understand when you see you know you see irresponsible owners it's not the dog

03:42you have an some kid who doesn't know how to train a pitbull the proper way an animal that can literally kill somebody um and you you know you see them you know they maul children and they you know and it's a sad it's such a sad thing so i get terrified any time i see my dope my kid i walk the street to new york city with him i live in harlem so it's you know every other block is like the hood and then it's nice and then it's the hood and uh this is so weird like that yeah i figured out how to do that yeah it's you know what's it's that's what they call gentrification right sort of i mean i guess this is more of a racially uh they're talking with gentrification sort of i i think it's like a class thing because i grew up in a really shitty i grew up in the suburbs but very poor welfare section 8 and kids in the city though when they grow up poor they're like on the next block

04:29there's like a millionaire right or they're on the subway and there's some dude who's going to wall street and you know he's he they're just constantly around an energy of success which is a very different thing when you go to the suburbs or like rural areas it's a depressing nobody's striving to even get out really right no that's a very good point right like you get to be truly integrated in new york city which where la is missing that ellie's missing that in a big way la you have rich people and poor people you know they're separated by cars yeah they're separated by neighborhoods you can't hang out you have to be in that social circle you have to because people always debate like oh who's got hotter chicks in new york or l.a and the answer is la but in new york you're going to see them in new york like you walk down the street me and ari uh did uh he does a podcast

05:14every year called happy booby day and we did it last year with the legionescanks and all it is happy booby day it's today to be honest with you it's the first it's the the first like days of spring usually end of march beginning of april and it's the first day that girls wear like mini skirts out and their tits are just hanging out and um we literally just walked to the streets following hot chicks commented it was the most i mean you literally i don't even know i don't even know how we have careers at all like we did this a year ago this isn't 20 years ago but uh yeah you but you get to see them you get to interact with them in la you're not interacting with a crazy hot model unless you know the right people you'd have to be standing somewhere where they go right because like in la if you wanted to meet you'd have to run a casting agency that's what you have to do that's why

05:58those guys started that that's why they did that how many people went into the business just so they meet girls just get like 30 of them that whole molly crew movie they said they're unapologetic about it they're unapologetic they're like uh yeah we we did this mick morris was like if it wasn't for groupies in a real interview it wasn't for groupies i wouldn't even become a musician yeah i mean people would criticize that like oh that's so gross this should be a real artist listen that is a crazy life you do not understand no one understands i don't understand there's no like we had david lee roth in here a couple weeks ago there's no way any of us will ever understand what it was like to be david lee roth that is not humanly possible yeah he is not pot and to be to come out the other end as cool as that guy is like how the hell did that happen to not be i feel like i'm

06:47dying and i don't party at all really like i drink a little bit and i feel like every day i'm like is that my liver i don't even know where my liver is on my body i swear to god i couldn't point to my liver on my body okay if you're standing on an orthodox dance and someone hits you with a left hook to the body that's where your liver is that's why guys drop right here yep it's right under your ribs it's right right okay so when you punch somebody in the liver you a lot of guys mistakenly go below the ribs yeah you'd want to go right where the floating ribs so the ribs bounces into the yeah if you watch like shannon the canon briggs shout out to the champ oh look at david roth in that picture oh look at that come on man nobody lives like that that guy was on top of the goddamn world he was built like a greek god he could do the full splits he would do wheel kicks on stage and

07:32dude look at that unapologetic the level of sex this guy must have had oh my god off the charts oh my god to be honest with you when i started comedy look at him i started comedy wanting idolizing guys like that i grew up on 80s metal so i i saw a comedy 15 years ago it was literally a different time like you didn't really have to shy away from being like yeah i want to after a show that wasn't a crazy thought no way people still want to do it but now it's just quiet yeah yeah hey go to um go to shannon the canon briggs page his instagram page there's something very funny that tucker carlson said i know people like oh my god did you don't even quote him he said something very funny he's funny as he says i'm very funny about some other news anchor that this is all the men that are going to be left if radical feminists take over the world apologetic yeah bespectacle i forget

08:25with the way he phrased him it was very funny i was like there's a lot of people like that there's a lot of guys like that out there and it's they don't want to be that guy they're stuck that's all they can pull off well they're doing probably the smarter move because we're we're going down a path where i don't think they're saying oh the pendulum will swing back and we're gonna eventually be able to celebrate rape culture again and it's never gonna happen okay we are going down a path where you know on television and their entertainment you see what's being booked you see what's being pushed out there and look despite the fact that there's a political message and everything there's still some good out there it's not like there's some great you know that's one of the reasons why i posted a tim dillon um video yesterday do you have that shannon cannon one

09:09there's one where he's uh he hits his dude like it's in one of his more recent fight clips that he put up the fight starts it goes like 10 seconds and he steps towards this dude and hits him with a left hook to the body and crumples him and i just want to show he's like a master at the liver shot the liver shot he's one of the best heavyweights of all time when it comes to liver shots he was so good at it if you would have said point to your life watch this watch this this is shannon cannon watch look watch the sliver bang that's it see he goes to the body and then down to the gut he'll pop you with the jab pop you with the hook upstairs watch this look at this see this is they're just showing boom watch the left hook pop what's this upstairs boom and then downstairs that's one of them but that's not the one where he stopped the dude he just came jumping out of the gate but

09:55there's another one i think a little bit further back than that honestly he looks like he hits so hard he hit so hard oh my god in general like you know and you know we obviously both watch a lot of i mean i don't really watch boxing but now that i'm a pretty big mma fan i watch boxing in a different and the way they punch it looks so devastating oh for sure so so i remember one time we did a street promotion i was just i was running street teams in new york city for comedy clubs like even before i started comedy and we did a thing where we got like boxing gloves and head gear and we just went out and we were challenging people to come in and just boxing if they could beat me in a boxing match i've never trained the day in my life but if they could just simply beat me in a boxing match they got free tickets to the show that night it was just a way to

10:34generate a crowd and my street team guys were selling tickets to people trying to let's go to a dumb comedy show do you think it helped your act at all like i wasn't even doing comedy at that head punched i wasn't even doing comedy watch this guy see that left to the body see how he digs that watch that one more time watch how he sets it up he jabs to the head and then when you cover up stairs oh look at that boom he hits you with the left hook to the face but it's a quick left hook to set up the left hook to the body and by the way he's 50. yeah i see his beard he's a animal gets up by his face nobody wants to fight him but i think there's also a trt issue but nobody wants to fight him right now he has a hard time getting fights what is that well that's his chin bro leave his channel don't make fun of his facial hair the guy just got up by the cannon let's go champ

11:21if you go to his instagram page it's all let's go champ let's go check it's very inspiring man yeah like if i want to feel good i go to shannon the canon's instagram page is that where you go yeah he makes me feel good it's all positive it's like let's go champ and he's like you got to drink more water champ you got to eat healthy champ here he is look at him sam it's the chair with the boys we had him call in um i think bisping knows him pretty well you got to be there with him live yeah he's yeah he's all personality yeah he's he's a he's a like a battery a black santa claus look at him he's got some serious white in that beard oh yeah i think he's still trying to fight he had some sort of uh trt issue you know testosterone replacement there you should make a separate league where you just let the guys yeah steroids and trt and who cares especially older guys yeah uh vitor

12:14belfort's now going to one fc yeah i know and uh looks good again looking sexy looking all filled out did you see alvarez's eye yeah he got up yeah that dude he fought timothy um nastuken nastuken i think is his last name that guy's a beast that one fc show was legit yeah have you watched it i've watched just highlights i i don't have time i don't have time to watch all the ufc fights at this time um so it's hard to kind of to watch the other cards as well but once in a while watching bellator i'll watch one fc damn look at that eye oh my god his eyes are up oh my god that's terrible that's a terrible injury yeah that looks like it split his eyelid it did oh my god jesus christ it split his eyelid dude oh my god people people don't realize like that side of it like i mean that's well touch your face i mean you had a little bit of an mma fight you know what it's like not really yeah yeah

13:11you did it was a fight there's a fight against another comedian he beat him comedian up he's very impressive but hey it was he had a taekwondo black belt from when he was 14 years you need to take that back no i know black belt no i you know people forget how to do man if you all aside but they also gave out a lot of taekwondo black belts that are 100 horsepower it's it's part of the business if they're not if you're not giving your belts out however you're not going to get people to come back dude i know a lot of people that were like my son's nine years old he just got his black belt i went like oh what are you even saying i will beat the out of that kid everyone will that's the problem like even other nine-year-olds will yeah like mostly she's an actual tough athletic kid who's mean kid who's not afraid of getting it that's a difference between kids who like will do you know

13:57karate and kick aboard there's also the kids that are just from the hood that have been being punched in the face by their uncles and fathers since they were a baby and they are just ready to fight and they're yeah being hit to them it's like you get desensitized to if you do any sort of training or if you you know you have a really tough environment you actually get desensitized to and you realize after being hit a few times that once adrenaline kicks in it doesn't really hurt you know it hurts after the fact but um so i think you have those kids that will just i mean wreck their just a little nine-year-old from the hood that's a tough kid kids that grow up around violence if you get in street fights all the time if you run other kids get in street fights people show you how to do things you learn things there's a lot of kids that are 10 11 years old that live

14:42in poor neighborhoods whether it's south boston or you know south side of chicago whatever any dangerous neighborhood that's like filled with poverty those kids will be more apt to succeed in fights yeah they understand how to fight they'll pull the trigger they're not going to be that's really the thing you know they have to pull the trigger because people have pulled the trigger on them whereas like there's a lot of people that talk a lot of but they never really pull the trigger you see those guys those are the guys i mean when i say pull the trigger obviously i need me and punch someone i don't mean that you said she said it's like especially after that nipsy hustle guy got killed that's crazy that's so sad yeah on video too they have the uh no i'm not a hip-hop fan at all but apparently it was very positive like anti-violence like it wasn't like a you

15:28know thuggy rapper that was promoting you know drug dealing and gang violence which i don't really know if even people do that as much anymore i don't know but by all accounts this guy was loved and uh you know he just it's just beyond ugh just like that that is still going on in this world it was if i'm not mistaken um he got into a fight with a guy right and the guy came back with a gun i don't know and shot him that's what i read i think it was like a i don't know if it was like those lines something along those lines because you the this when you hear about a hip-hop artist calm down you're like oh is this some long-standing beef and you know you know who knows but i think it was literally a fight that these guys got it and the guy came back with a gun and just started unloading which is it's brutal that's literally how my father died literally well except it was

16:21with a knife which is a much more hardcore way to do it but my dad was outside of strip club at 4 o'clock in the morning got into an argument with a kid you know um like a 16 year old kid and they got into a fist fight you know the kid came back like an hour later with a kitchen knife and stabbed him that's that and it's like godda it also takes a different type of person to you know to kill i'm i'm not the kid in the hood who's just ready to pull the trigger and punch somebody like i'm not i grew up in a weird way where it's like i was thought like well you wait till they throw the first punch which is a terrible strategy but the that's sort of the way that i always it was always like fist fights in the parking lot with your friends you weren't trying to really hurt each other it was you got into an argument over a video game and you went out back in the

17:07parking lot and you beat each other up for two minutes and then that was that um but guys that are you know willing to kill somebody over whatever just an argument take their life completely without any just even they lose sense of the repercussions of it as well which is sort of like that's something that i think would separate most people and go like oh i don't want to go to jail there's cameras i think a giant chunk of it is how they're what like what experiences they have growing up like what happens to them are they abused are they beaten are they around a lot of violence yeah what are they exposed to and then how much more likely are you to commit that violence you have to push that on to the next person that's really what it is i mean that's the vast majority i mean it's not uh it's not a shocker that so much violent crime comes from poor neighborhoods it's

17:56it's like it makes itself it makes itself of course it's almost like a virus i agree and i i i you know i grew up my mom was extremely abusive um you know and i grew up with a around a ton of violence a ton of physical and emotional abuse verbal abuse always the threat of violence at the drop of a hat it was it was always immediately to i'll beat the out of you if you don't do what i say right um even if she wasn't being violent um and i dude i got the opposite dude i i you know with my son dude literally my son i've never even spanked him i've never smacked him on the hand i've never i've never even really yelled at my son um and i don't think that i got lucky and have a good kid i do have a good i have a great kid but i think it's a direct role you know correlation to me not being aggressive with him right at all right yeah and i talk talking is huge right have little

18:47conversations with them don't just tell them what to do yeah you don't give them the why if they don't understand why you know that just in general in life people just in general if they understand why something there's a real purpose there and then they do what they're doing you know with that purpose in mind yeah and i think when little kids they're you know they're so malleable and sometimes it's annoying for them to ask why two or three times and it's easy to lose your patience um but what you realize what you're you know that's you know i'm a piece of i'll admit i'm the first one to admit it but the only good thing i do i think is the fact that i'm creating this good little person he's a really good sweet person that i think is gonna be you know all the that i didn't really have or you know all the good qualities that i think i you know i could have maybe had if i was raised the

19:31right way i'm trying to give my son and i think that's a really big responsibility and that's why you know you i feel bad when you see like real violence like that like people that are like being really you're like dude i know that person experienced some crazy 100 it's it's not their fault in a weird way and it's definitely not you know i never lived in the worst neighborhood in the world but i lived in a shady one for quite a bit we lived in this place called jamaica plain uh outside of boston for about a year my parents knew immediately we had to get the out of there we only i think we stayed maybe a year a little over a year and uh we got out of there as quick as we can but there was like a lot of break-ins a lot it was lower income it wasn't terrible it wasn't like uh gang violence shoot em up type but there was a lot of criminals yeah a lot of shady

20:19poverty it does you don't have to it doesn't have to be like gangs it's just shitty dude poverty makes people do crazy it does and it makes i was never around kids that were that aggressive like kids were always trying to fight me and um i just moved there we just moved there from florida and i was like i got to get out of here and that's what what led me to martial arts 13 okay so you were you know teenage boy almost a man you're going through puberty at this point that's a scary time and there was all these kids that were just they were so they were they had already they're already doing drugs they were these are uh is this like make a plane low-income white white and puerto rican like uh but mostly that mostly white and puerto rican there's a lot of it uh just um a lot of cigarette smokers at 13 kids were smoking cigarettes already they were drinking all the time i used to like my

21:07mom's cigarettes for her when i was like crazy i swear to god like great fitz simmons lived in a house with two parents that were chain smokers in an apartment and they never opened the windows in the winter are you crazy my mom never just thinks there's no sense my mom smoked their entire pregnancy with me me too dog yeah i mean they don't and look once again she doesn't know kind of but they knew they sort of knew the jury was out on smoking while you were pregnant i think in 82 when i was born oh yeah for 82. i'm 67. your mom has zero excuses oh i thought you i think my mom was in the 60s man they didn't know yeah i guess in the 60s it was like you had to read a book yeah and she was only 20. you know yeah my mom was 20 my mom was 20. like that is crazy imagine that how old were you when you had your first kid crazy uh 40. you're four that's that's

21:55so perfect yeah such a perfect time i was 30 which is f it's too young and i think my mom was 18 when she had my sister yeah um it's just the just the act of whether no matter when you started with if you started at 20 if you started 40 the act of raising another human being it just changes who the you are it just does yeah it's like everything switches and gets weird and then you're like oh i'm responsible for for shaping your life and at least helping to shape your life and if i do a good job you'll be a good person you'll go out there and you'll make more good people and you'll meet good people which is really what everybody wants at the end of the day everybody wants camaraderie and love and friendship that's why like what's the worst that can happen today you get cancelled everybody wants to cancel people yeah you're out get out of here you're done

22:53it's over there's a weird thing which is a strange it's also like i want you to not be able to make money but it's something i want you to starve or go home be homeless i don't really understand it's not specific it's not specific in terms like they don't want you to be able to make an income they want to hurt you that's what it is because they're scared of someone doing it to them this is a big part of why people pull the trigger on that stuff whether i just people are calling for people to get canceled for like nothing like little tiny things never again it's because they're scared of it actually happening so this is like you have this ultimate power to just just like get upset at someone for virtually anything pick it pick a cause whatever it is you know it's also it's it's sort of intoxicating and it's fun and most people don't have real opinions on anything and then you have this

23:42this you know on on facebook or twitter or whatever social media platform you have an immediate gratification of like i just got 20 likes on a thought of mine yeah that's addictive as that's super addictive you know that that right there will you know i understand why people continue to come back and nobody really cares as soon as you put your computer down your phone down nobody gives a about any of these issues at the supermarket or at the bowling alley or in the library but that's not what's important what's important is the internet is essentially the whole world is a big window and everyone has a rock people just looking to throw rocks yeah and if you find a thing to throw a rock about whether it's throw a rock about politics or or gender or race or uh social justice or you know fill in the blank the environment yeah the saving the animals everyone's throwing rocks you know and

24:35very few people are uh actually communicating it's a strange time well you would think that you would want in an ideal world you would want people that have differing ideas to come together sit down have an honest conversation and go awesome dude go live your life i'll live my life i learned a little bit just now yeah and then you go off and you go yeah that's how you learn from different cultures that's how we you know ultimately got to a place you know i think i i have a i think it's a great country i i in a weird way i think it's i'm proud to be an american i you know i'm proud um you know i don't think all the things that people think that are awful about this country are necessarily awful um you know i think the opportunity to make money i did grow up on wealth and i grew up poor and you know i you know i'm you know for all intents and purposes

25:22i'm living my dream right now and i get to kind of do what i want to do um and i look at that and i say it's because i live in a place where that opportunity's there of course look america is amazing it doesn't mean it's perfect no it certainly gives you more opportunity than anywhere that i've ever heard of and it's a fun place man i like it here country is fun but there's definitely some up aspects of it the the fact that we're a country this is the the big one is immigration to me because immigration to me when people take a hard line one way or the other i'm always like hmm man this is a weird one immigration is a weird one you don't want to diminish the quality of life for everyone in the country but you don't want to not let people in because that's what the country is based on and when you see these fenced-in people and where is it is it el paso there was

26:09uh something that they had on the news or they showed all these people fenced in and what looks like a dog kennel and these these uh people that snuck across the border and they captured them so they just put them in this outdoor fenced-in cage like dude we don't even do that to violent murderers yeah you have a violent murderer who's due process yeah well not not just due process you put them in a prison man right like they don't have the facilities to do what they're doing right and then people like well this shouldn't be coming across the border like i guess so but wouldn't you i'm also like wouldn't you who cares like i i understand yes there is sort of uh but anybody who is up in arms about immigrants coming into this country most of the time they're also on one side of the political spectrum on every other issue it's not like it's an independent thought it's like they and

26:57everybody progress that's on both sides you know and you know i just sort of i'm in a i have my own personal life philosophy where i'm not going to solve the immigration issue and to be honest as we're talking about i'm going like i don't know i have no idea what the answer is here people are obsessed with being right people always want to have an answer i don't know but i i do know that i have things in my life that you know i can fix i i know there are you know the things about my personality and things about me and my own you know my own issues that i need to fix so i'll sort of start there you know and i think more people need to kind of you know before they start espousing opinions look at themselves and figure out why they're coming up with these opinions is that what you're saying yeah just sort of um this one's like it pulls on your humanity you see a bunch of people caged

27:42in with their children in some fenced-in area that literally looks like a dog kennel yeah this is crazy well i'm not saying i don't care about that i just i i don't care about people coming in the country and going in these imaginary lines i i you know it's just sort of like yeah i think it's um i i think as a human being it's hard to see that and i look away from like that a lot you know i don't look i i i don't like looking at videos like that i don't like watching sad things i don't watch any gore i didn't watch the the video of the dude that mowed down those people in new zealand um you know yeah it is a sad thing and i really don't know the solution look at this it says they treated us like we were animals holding pen for migrant families in el paso shut down shut down overnight i guess okay because people found out about it it's crazy look at that that's

28:30that's a dog kennel it means people were just sitting around waiting for what i mean that if that was murderers they wouldn't do that so let's say you're the guy in charge though what do you do what would you i mean me i would say that's a good question i'll go let them in but i don't know if that's the right answer i don't know if it's the answer to either but i guarantee you all of our your relatives came from another country my relatives all came from another country they i'm third generation they they knew that europe sucked they knew that italy sucked and said they're like look i mean no disrespect italy but they decided i gotta get the out of here and they got on a boat all of them grandparents on both sides they both came over here when they were kids is italy suck seems awesome everything i've seen about it great food well the food is fantastic dudes when i talked to a

29:13guy there that was trying to get an understanding because he wanted his kids to go to college in america and what he was basically saying was there was just not enough opportunity in italy and that uh he wanted his son to have more opportunity and so he's driving a cab actually they all speak two languages they all speak perfect english like a good percentage of them yeah they're you know it's a smart place a lot of in the art is insane when you're when you're going through rome and you go through um the vatican you see there are billions of dollars literally billions of dollars in artwork you're like holy like this is what a crazy culture yeah this culture all they wanted to do was create beautiful architecture create beautiful art make wine make great food have sex like crazy and kind of take over the world i mean they took over the world for a long

30:02ass time i got no problem with italy it sounds like burying people yeah but now today there's not much opportunity if you want to drive a cab make some tomato sauce dude i was driving with this cab driver with my kids in the car and this guy slowed down to check out this chick's ass and yelled out the window at her they're savages man they're ape people my ancestors i'm allowed to say it i hate folk i use i used to love cat calling and i'm terrible it's in a funny way though it's not it's wrong i will preface this by saying it's wrong but and as as an adult as a 37 year old man uh who has a six-year-old boy um who will probably watch this one day i'll say don't do that don't do what daddy says as i say not as i do exactly but i will say it was sort of like a funny thing we would just we would just cat call checks in a funny way we would do it almost like mocking guys who

30:53catcall however from the girls perspective she's just being cackled yeah the girls don't like it unless they really like it well it depends they could be freaks but it's it's never worth the risk one out of ten might like it i had to talk about this in my special but if you go holler at a puerto rican chick or a black chick they want it they like it i'm making a generalization different culture but i'm telling you right now it's how it's a different level of community i'm telling you go watch in harlem or if you go to brooklyn just jay gomez defends catcalling live on the jre you can you guys can i have a battery on my brand new special destination oh i hear it's out right now yeah it just came out is it just on amazon it's out everywhere is that on itunes itunes.com what is it again louis jay gomez presents louis jacobs lewis jay gomez or you get a dominican

31:41pitcher from miami louis gomez presents louis gomez is a completely different thing yeah that's a porn fisherman uh yeah um what were we just talking about we smoked too much pop before the show what's up have you ever had a gay guy try to you yeah are you kidding me right how about a big strong one that could kick your ass like a gay guy that looks like deontay wilder no not that i thought could kick my ass but i understand the point you're making yeah if you had a gay guy that you know could kick your ass that's what it's like to be a chick that's what it's like i i get i go to a high-end gym high-end meaning gay meaning yes a lot of gay guys equinox it's uh dude gay guys love equinox and i love the gym it was actually my last day job i worked doing sales there and i saw the infrastructure of the company and i know they're they're very you know it's about customer service

32:33there and i really like that right you're selling it right now are you selling i'm selling memberships guys so hit me up uh you're selling but it's going to salesman mode i really i'm telling them the sale has been through and through but i go there now and the steam room i mean and i and i mean this i would say one out of eight times that i go in the steam room a man will do what almost like a presenting type thing where he's trying to fish for me to suck his dick you know like i guess the the famous story was like sort of tapping the foot under the stall but it's not that they open their towel and they kind of like make eye contact with you and jesus but they do it in a way where you can't call them on their because you can't be because then you look like a big homophobe right so yeah probably outnumber you what the gay guys yeah yeah um probably yeah but it happens it happens

33:22a lot i've gotten multiple free months there because i complain about it wow that's a good move it's like dropping hair in your own food yeah what i just saw this is reminding me of a video i just saw this is a pretty i don't know if you've seen this video what is this like ringing a bell it's only like 20 seconds it says man catch this guy looking underneath the guy in the bathroom stall he's got his video camera it's just pointing at the floor right now okay okay why why's y'all on the floor i've been calling you the whole time he's restaurant no sir jesus he's also lying on his boner he's just lying on the floor that's a guy looking to see people's yeah looking to suck some that happened to me at the gym in between the shower stalls the guy's face was peeking through oh boy um and yeah it's uh and in a weird way because here's the thing you can't

34:19you can't just start beating somebody up for that right you can't just so you can't even threaten violence for it it's a weird thing and you feel very defenseless and i understand it's the first time i truly was like oh i kind of get what women are talking about because i you feel like violated you can't really do much i've had it happen and i could beat the guy up yeah like i have had it happen when it was a guy that was not physically a threat to me and it still made me super uncomfortable and i felt really weak i felt like because you feel like it's also like you're committing a hate crime if you beat this guy up for being gay no it wasn't it wasn't just how aggressive was he super aggressive like touching me putting his hands on my shoulders telling him he's gonna take me up to his room and i'm like you better get your hands off wow i was like this is getting yeah you live a

35:03different life to me i just feel i feel like this is a long time ago i feel like just why i feel like the bell of the ball for one day it was um it was disconcerting but again i wasn't physically vulnerable like i could decide that i just wanted to choke this guy unconscious and i could just do that but you could choke most guys unconscious yeah but this guy was not like there was no no guessing you know what i'm saying he was not a specimen he was a scrawny dude right he was just a an aggressive gay guy but it's like you go to prison and you know yeah exactly that's my point if the roles were reversed it was me aggressively coming on to this guy who never worked out a day in his life it would be terrifying he would just have to take it he'd have to take it well that's what i when i was training for that uh mma fight against the comedian i trained with bisping uh twice

35:47and i grapple with this being bismay's not even known for his jiu jitsu of course he is he no he's got very expensive but i know his guard his defensive guard is one of the best in mma very rarely do people pass his guard when he's on the ground he's excellent but primarily you know he's known as a striker primarily primarily i can't explain to you it was like i felt like a lion was just toying with me it it was and it was it was a strange thing because i'd never in my life because you obviously you know an mma fighter can beat you up you know a professional mixed martial artist can beat you up but i don't think people realize how badly and how big of the gap it is because it's not it's but they don't know joe you know people have no clue until you do it and i had no idea until this is the last summer and i just and he was around with me for a second yeah it was terrifying and i feel

36:40like less of a man i can't look at my son in the eyes the same way that i used to be able to i i don't right you know anymore like oh come on you'll be all right you know what it's like it's like um do you know how people see someone do stand up and they think i could do that everyone that's how we all started right because you're just talking the guy's just talking yeah that's what fighting is like it's like you look at a guy like bisping and you know he's like a normal guy i mean he's obviously very athletic and he's big and everything like that but he's he's not shaquille o'neal he's not like some seven foot something specimen he's a regular size human so you're like well he's moving like a regular human i could do that but you have no idea you have no idea you're beyond helpless you have no idea literally yeah you have no idea you grabbed a hold of you you're

37:23you're a dead person almost anybody in the ufc any any person the average person if even if you're training it doesn't matter they can take you just let them do what they want to do yeah there's intellectual levels like i always feel like that whenever i talk to people that are really smart like if i have a sean carroll or a neil grass tyson or someone on the podcast you talk to me just like god damn i'm stupid yeah you know there's just there's levels to this there's levels to this understanding of life that's like but that's with everything with stand up with artwork with with someone choking the life out of you yeah this is day man i've been doing jiu jitsu since 1996. if i'll roll with certain people just it's a matter when i'm gonna get strangled yeah they don't even have to be bigger than me be smaller than me it's when am i going to tap when's it coming i had a friend of mine

38:08who's like a really athletic dude who i get he it's not a bit of friends a friend of a friend but he trains out of uh he's like a trainer out of a gracie school in florida there's only one time he he got to roll with joyce gracie and i said i was like what was it like was it like was he like that much better i think this guy's a high level black belt like he's like dude he was like we're talking about levels he was like he was toying with me like i had never done it before and that's how i that's how good um those guys are yeah and hoist doesn't you know at this point when you compare compared to these athletic guys in mma today we saw with matt hughes you know you know he couldn't compete anymore um once people sort of knew the tricks but um yeah i mean that it's very humbling the whole experience was even crazier hixson hoyce's brother yeah hoyce will tell you

38:55he's 10 times better than him yeah hixon would do to hoist what hoist would do to other black belts well wasn't that sort of the levels the story was they could have had hicks in but he was too athletic and two you know there's a bunch of issues and i would not want to uh say exactly what happened for fear of upsetting either side because i think there's two different stories okay but uh he was essentially the champion of the family and one of the thoughts was that it would be uh more impressive if hoyce did it because hoist was only 175 pounds and yeah with his shirt off him he looked like he was fit but looked like a volleyball player or something right whereas hicks like freddie mercury hickson was shredded yeah was like really into physical training he did a lot of gymnastics and yoga he was unbelievably athletic yeah but he was also like way physically stronger it

39:45would appear more that he was just dominating something like a cat yeah he would jump on you so it wasn't as good of an advertisement for it wasn't necessarily true though because it was also talk that no one can control hicks and they didn't want hixon to win because hixon is a he's like a free spirit like in the greatest sense of the word like legitimately he might throw his phone in the ocean and disappear for a month and just surf and do jiu jitsu somewhere oh he's he's a freak in the best sense of the word that's awesome so i don't think they ever thought they could control hixson that was part of the the problem with having hixon be the champion hixson would probably freeze up the whole organization i want 10 million dollars i'll never fight again like they were offering him fights for years and he had some crazy number that he wanted and he was like if you give me that number i'll

40:27fight fedor if you give me that number i'll fight the best fighters oh yeah this is after after the ufc right yeah after the ufc started but everybody still knew see when hoyce was winning everyone still knew hixson was competing in something called japan valley tudo and he won that yeah you got to see the super high-level jiu-jitsu pride one was hixson um and uh hixon was the guy that everybody knew that if something happened and then hoist was out of the ufc or there was no other uh gracie's in the ufc hixon is always there to step in and we were always wondering when is he going to step in when's he going to fight the best guys never did no he fought some he fought funaki who was a really high level guy that was his last fight and he strangled him uh put him to sleep it's a crazy image man of him rear naked choke funaki and fanaki's eyes roll in the back of his

41:18head he goes unconscious and hicks and just throws them off as well stands up he was a savage that's awesome i love it i wish i got into when i was younger i'm too fat and old now my kids don't get your stuff nonsense how old are you i just turned 37 yesterday bourdain didn't start doing jiu jitsu until he was 58. yeah wrap your head around that you're right there's uh what's his name uh albandi right he started late in life he did um i don't think he he was a hex and gracie student i believe i believe he's hoyts i think he was from torrance so he was um that was uh like that's like henner and hiron and yeah yeah you're right i could um i'm just coming up with excuses yeah i mean you can do it totally do it i mean if you trained for a martial arts fight you could train for judaism it's a fun thing to learn too well that's where i got injured the most was doing jiu jitsu

42:05did you up your shoulders that would you say my shoulder was dislocated six weeks before the fight my hand was broken both of my ribs to this day they're just popping out like it's just little garbage tour poking out in different directions and it hurts yeah continuously it'll tear and then the red will heal up like sticking out a little bit yeah yeah it was all doing it was all rolling jiu-jitsu with guys who were just trying to kick your ass you shouldn't have i know i learned we've talked about that you talked about that you got to be real careful with uh who you train with because uh someone who's really good can train with you and you don't get hurt you know like if i roll with uh john jacques machado like i never get hurt he you know i never win but i never get hurt you know it's uh you he's always in control like you're in and everything is like if you roll with a black belt it's

42:55actually safer yeah then rolling with like a really strong blue belt or a purple belt because they're just trying to kill you they just want those they want those tap points they're going to be able to get you especially if you're louis j gomez from uh legion of skanks of course they know about the game right get that arm triangle and squeeze the out of you yeah yeah you tap i had a wrestler this big wrestler was just like he was like i'll show it to russell a little dude he just grabbed me and no no i'm sorry he didn't grab me this is this is what a i am this is what how tough this guy was huge guy right and just nasty gnarled up ears of course college wrestler but a big big boy like heavy dude i tried to take he was showing me how to like pop up and take somebody down that's what i'm trying to drill with him we're drilling dude and every time i would do it he would

43:43just not let me do it and just flop me on my ass right and one time i tried to do it and when i went to go take him down he jerked me in the other direction and my shoulder literally just popped out all together all the way out it was crazy i was like there's no way yeah it was it was nuts um you know and everything hurt going into it and uh bisping this one was like dude he was wrapping my hands in the back and my hand was throbbing it was broken it was just throbbing and i was just over and over again rewrapping the hand i was like dude it's not right you got to rewrap it a new way and he's like mate shut the up he's like you're not going to feel any as soon as you walk out there you're not going to feel anything adrenaline's going to kick in and that's that and uh you're doing wrestling drills that's when a lot of guys get really injured and you got to make sure you're

44:25doing them with people that understand it it's a drill and understand where your level's at that's what's going on with a guy like that he's just flexing on you yeah he's just beating on you of course because he's probably done it a million times he's done those drills probably a million times but you've done him zero times it's crazy it's crazy that he would do that and go hard with you and wrestling sucks dick on so many levels dog i tried to join the wrestling team because i was a pro wrestling fan when i was a kid i was like i wanna wrestle i'm gonna wrestle first of all i saw a singlet i was like that's not happening my little dick and flabby ass and a singlet it's like you have to have a big dick and a nice butt in order to wear something like sorry there's another quote that's a meme right there you have to have a big dick and a nice butt torch it's the

45:03truth what do you want me to say yeah it's crazy i'm in the ninth grade i'm like i'm waiting for my dick to grow in still okay i'm not doing this for another couple years so i joined for like a day and in my high school we had a pool and it was like a heated pool for the swim team i went to a pretty nice high school actually and there was uh they would make us run around the pool like for like four miles before wrestling practice before before wrestling throughout it was three miles total whatever it was and it was like a sauna so you were doing like a hot warm up in a hot pool and then you would start training and yeah two days later i was like this dude and they beat your ass from wrestling but that's what makes people so tough that's why wrestlers are like mentally some of the toughest people alive yeah they're so used to that grind they can they they they also take

45:52pleasure in suffering like no other sport like they enjoy it like they enjoy not being prima donna it's like all the best wrestlers if you you go back and you look at like the history of amateur wrestling they're all known as being like hard hard men like dan gable dan gable was a hard man yeah you know that just trained his body into the ground i think he's got two hip replacements two knee replacements doesn't mean he just just keeps going keep going he was an animal and he was just a just he was just an unstoppable wrestler in his prime yeah but that was part of it it was that that mental strength that those guys have and a lot of those guys don't jump into it later though it's it's also as we're talking about beating your you know kids and turning them into pieces of there's the other side of it as well where you have like it's it's in their family it's

46:37their dad they're doing it since they were four since they can you know crawl they can they're they're practicing takedowns and that side of it if you're you know in those formative years if that's built into you that toughness etc sort of cakewalk i didn't have any i mean i i did i did just for fun baseball and i wasn't even good at it like i could barely hit it it was the team it was t-ball i could barely hit the ball i was so unathletic and my mom there was no part of her that wanted to continue to push me to do those things so if i said i didn't want to go to just for fun she was she was like all right it i'm going to take you that was sort of you know right um which i think is you know a problem but that that you i i think it's really tough and this way guys you see guys like george sampire who never did high school wrestling or uh college wrestling and then jumps into it

47:22after the fact and it's like yeah but it makes sense if you know who george is it makes sense the reason why it makes sense there's two reasons one first of all he was very athletic and he already had this leaping inability from karate so he had this karate blitz ability yeah when you're diving in like for a punch or a like a straight blast or something like that that's very similar to diving in for a takedown in terms of your ability to spring forward right so george already had that with leaping into poncho leaping in the kick so he already had this ability to spring then on top of that george is super intelligent and he listens he has zero ego like i've seen him be coached before i i've seen him like do jiu jitsu with like donahue or like really elite high level guys and there's a lot of these videos of it online he's very coachable he listens to everything yeah no ego

48:12he's not trying to do it a different way he's trying to listen to you a hundred percent guys like that there it's a shorter path to understanding the technique and and to proficiency yeah because they they listen some people don't all they don't listen all the way they listen a little bit but then they want to try it their way like even when they're training and sparring you'll say listen listen for this round i just want you to just try it this way just do this one thing and they'll try it for a couple of seconds and they'll give up and go back to the their old style yeah you're like what happened like i didn't feel comfortable like that's the point like this is how you get better george is the opposite he listens really coachable i guess they say just he just understands that technique is everything it's everything yeah and if you underst if you you could

48:54learn like two or three techniques and have uh like a real high level proficiency if you just continue to drill him and understand the counters like it's not he's not like doing a lot of like crazy inside the octagon when it comes to wrestling yeah but not like a ben askren type style right what he is doing is a power double he's got awesome singles on both sides he knows how to take people down he knows how to stuff takedowns yeah just those things alone that's all he needed to impose his mma game yeah george uh i'm to this day one of my favorite fighters um you know uh but yeah he was sort of he always like stood out as the guy that like um yeah i mean just didn't you know wrestled better than everybody without you know having to do that earlier and then got you know guys like ben askren who he's a monster he's also hilarious dude i think ben askren's so

49:43funny so funny he's he's such a troll i love i love a guy who just doesn't shy away from it yeah um trolls boss trolls still continues to this day just makes a game out of it it's hilarious yeah he's a funny dude um what also what george st beer has is uh extreme physical ability like he could do back flips he does a lot of gymnastic stuff he he's just he's he has excellent command over his body yeah that was sneak aside you would see him like doing like those like gymnastic training things where he's like doing like super crazy like you know core strength balance beam type and i mean at that point once you don't even still really guys doing that no other guys in the sport are sort of looking to it's another level of cross training and getting your body prepared for like something that it's not really prepared for exactly taking yourself out of your comfort zone that's that's um

50:38you know one of the i just i really wish i would have when i was a kid i wish i would have done more sports i wish i would have had but did you play sports when you were a kid not like a baseball player i did play baseball and then i actually quit doing everything else but martial arts because of baseball i went to see a red sox game at fenway park and when uh me and my buddy were coming home there was like crazy crowds of people trying to get on the tee which is the train to get home so um we just for while we were walking by this taekwondo gym i walked upstairs i wanted to see what it was all about and as i was walking upstairs there was this guy named john lee who was a national champion at the time and one of the best black belts this guy jake kim ever produced and he was murdering this heavy bag i mean murdering it yeah he was hitting it with his spinning back kicks that was making

51:25the sound like whoop and then you hit where the chains would would snap because i mean just extend to their full length because he was kicking this bag and it was flying through the air and so i'd never seen anything and i was as close to him doing that as jaime is to me right now because there was like a little wall and there was a heavy bag there and the way uh mr kim and mr o'malley michael o'malley who was also the the head instructor why mr kim was gone they set up the bags right there because they knew that if people were coming in thinking about signing up and a guy like john lee's kicking the bag you're like i want to do that yeah how the do you do that were you athletic at all were you you wrestled i wrestled i did um i wrestled also while i was doing taekwondo for one year it was too much to do two at the same time but i did uh i played baseball but i wasn't very good

52:11i just like i never ever tried to get on base i always try to hit home runs the coach said just hit a single just hit a single we really need this i'm like yeah yeah you yeah i got there and swing for the bleachers i didn't give a man i either struck out or i'm trying to try to finger bang a chick at the pepper alley yeah i hit one home run once and that was it i was like oh i can do that like i didn't know i could do that because as a little kid i i could swing pretty hard and you know they're light bats and the kids aren't throwing very fast everybody else is 13 too you know and but from going to that one taekwondo gym watching that one guy you became like a mentor to me in a lot of ways and you went back to that gym specifically that was the 100 i was like i never saw anything like that i had done a little bit of martial arts by then i did a little bit of karate but not much

53:00but i never saw anybody kick it back the karate school that i went to they didn't emphasize that which it's a very very important part of developing power you have to be able to kick a bag i don't think i there was any bags in the taekwondo school that i went to it's a foolish mistake that a lot of gyms make they emphasize uh speed and uh like kicking pads over power you have to take the power or just break some ice you've got to hit a bag you got to hit a bet because the bag resists if it's a hundred pounds you got to realize that you're not just hitting this thing you're also pushing a hundred pounds with your foot you're pushing 100 pounds of your foot so if you're standing in front of a hundred pound bag well bam you're not just hitting it hard you're moving a hundred pounds with your hips and your legs and your abs and your core that's that's resistance yes yeah you're actually

53:50getting a real it's a plyo there's actual physical resistance in terms of weight and that's how you get stronger it's the only way the only way you really develop like destruction power like you know that some people can you do that though because that's the whole thing where i because i was researching like how do you how do you hit harder you can't hit harder you can't hit as hard as some people do you think the guy can teach you to have knockout power no you either have it or you don't i think you can increase someone's power and most people can knock people out most people if you taught them where to hit someone they hit someone clean they could hurt someone especially most men who actually know how to punch a little bit yeah but there's a big difference between that kind of punching power and say like a tommy hearns in his prime punching power or uh you know a lennox lewis straight

54:38right hand like just you won't you don't have that man no you either have that or you don't have that and some people just i saw guys that were like 15 they had that it was crazy you'd watch guys that like at a young age they would hit a pad or hit a bag and you'd be like this is crazy like how do you have so much power yeah and you don't know why you don't know the strength you know they could be anything well actually we added that story but i was saying when we do that promotion in the street in new york city where we put the headgear on the gloves uh a little mexican kid comes up doggy oh this game is 123 pounds soaking wet a little mexican kick comes up and i'm like i'm i'm my size you know i'm 20 at the time maybe 21 or whatever but i'm just like you know by the way i had never thrown a punch in my life now that i actually watch fighting and understand

55:23a little bit as a fan like i i didn't have to stand i had no idea dude this mexican kid he came up he just faked a body shot and hit me with a hook and i remember it it felt like because there was no adrenaline it was a game for me it wasn't like you know it felt like my head was shook it felt like my entire i had never been hit so to this day i've never been his heart in my entire life dude i took a knee i literally took a knee and that's all i remember i don't even know what happened after that that kid just went off being awesome and then i remember thinking because i was like i want a box i want to get into boxing that'll be fun and that was the moment i was like i'm not gonna box i'm too big the way that kid hurt me the way that felt no way no way if a 230 pound guy were to hit me like especially if you went to the wrong gym and they had you sparring right away which a lot of gyms

56:17do they'll throw guys to the wolves just to see if they're worth keeping around well they'll try you like right out of the street they'll show you a few punches have you hit the pads a little bit tell you to keep your hands up then they'll have a spar i've seen it happen man sure no just just to let you know and sometimes you know that you'll be sparring with a pro so they won't hurt you they just pop you a little bit pop pop to the body pop just trying to get some work in you know just looking for a easy target should i do my girlfriend when we box just bob just touch just touch it let her know let her know it could be worse boxing is the problem with it as a casual thing though is the punches that don't even hurt you they just rattle your head a little those all count all all those count those are probably sometimes worse yeah because there's so many of them you don't even

57:03notice like if you get hit with one big shot you'll stop like your head gets rattled you get a headache you sit down you're like oh but you'll stop if you get hit a few times you treat it like it's nothing you just get popped a few times you're in there you get hit 30 seconds later you've got a bloody nose your lips are bleeding a little now you got something over your eye you don't think about it but you got hit in the head 30 times yeah you never got dropped so you're like i'm fine i didn't take any damage but you did you just don't you don't think of that as damage and now they're understanding that that is as much of what you're seeing from ctes that sub concussive trauma probably more so because it's so frequent yeah well over and over again yeah man you know say everything man dr mark gordon said jet skis he said the banging of jet skis when you're bumping away he's like

57:48that's terrible for your head like how about angus young from ac dc i'd like to do an it iq test on that just like banging his head and get his leg out to do the mri to see like how maybe is the fibers of his brain strengthened from a hundred years of head banking maybe i used to go to like metal concerts and go to mosh pits i was like a big metalhead when i was a kid and uh yeah we were just yeah you get brain damage just go in there and start swinging your hands get punched and you're right you don't think about the amount of like just head banging yeah just banging your head over and over again your brain is just smacking into the front of your face over and over and over again give me some lazy dc jamie angus would on stage play and head bang at the same time like try rubbing the top of your head and your stomach at the same time you know how you do that yeah now imagine

58:40patting your head and imagine now imagine trying to play guitar and head bang at the same time and then catch all the tunes i i was in a band when i was in high school i played drums that was uh yeah we all i think we all wanted to be we all want to be rock stars did you want to be a rock star or kid or nope nope never played any no music no no no no musical talent whatsoever look at these all these groupie chicks from the 70s hilarious look at them so why don't we hear any means two stories about like even we're talking about molly curious i gotta go how were we not hearing like crazy me two stories about with like rock bands in the 80s and 70s i think cause everybody knew what they were getting into i think they knew they were getting into a lot of times now but it's just you think that at least somebody would want to come out and go like oh just so you know uh guns and

59:35roses ran a train on me in 1987. fyi and i was really intoxicated maybe it's a different time like those ladies had a different approach to things i don't know look they were there for the memory i think for the reality is most people they sort of go like all right well i'm respe i am responsible for my actions that's where most people i don't think most people actually have a victim mentality when they look at stupid that they've done in their youth i think most people go like i was idiot i shouldn't have done that it's a lot of i shouldn't have done there's both things right there's some people don't have a victim mentality and then there's also some people just became victims back then and they just didn't have a way to express it like they do now yeah it's a different like it's it was a completely different world 20 30 years ago yeah how would you even

60:29start to get the message out that you were me too in 1981 yeah i'm going to write a letter to a publicist what would you do if you got if someone sexually assaulted you in 1981 what would you do i mean go to the cops yeah you'd have to try to call a newspaper maybe they would you know if the the guy was a rich guy turn his lawyers on you yeah different world it's all it's i mean i'm of the stephen pinker view of uh progress that i think that although the world is not perfect i think it's just way better than it is way better yeah it feels worse because we have the internet and you you have access to your fingertips to the most vile yeah you know it's it seems like people are more racist because before you used to have to write the n-word on a bathroom stall that was the only way to say hey right the n word they have fun reddit group yeah yeah whatever it is and there's a you can

61:27sort of get that instant reaction you have to go back the next day and there's another guy that drew an arrow to that and was like yeah but what about the jews and then it kept on going down but now you sort of have that instantly at your fingertips so it feels like oh my god the world's crumbling everyone's racist everyone's sexist but everyone's got an opinion online and once you get off there you know we all co-exist we all we all work together we're all doing you know yeah we certainly can yeah i mean people there's a lot of this nonsense like energy on uh on social media where people are just arguing about things all day long insulting people all day long and that is so bad for your head to engage in that all day yeah it feels way better to not engage it feels weird every time i travel anytime if you see me on twitter talking back before i'm on an airplane board and i just i

62:21did it yesterday i won't even name the guy it's a blogger he didn't even watch my special this just took shots at me because he didn't like me and i was just just engaging back and forth over and over again and uh it's because i'm bored did you feel gross though after it was over no because i just deleted it i was like all right i'm done i said what i had to say um but i also i don't know like i there's part of me as well like i've gotten you know you get so much eventually you sort of get desensitized to it so that you don't really i mean how you're you know you're famous you get critics like real critics like i mean your your special's been reviewed by real people i'm sure some people didn't like it i'm sure you had to have a bad critic out there but at this point you're like ah who gives a i just think overall in general it's better to be who gives a because i

63:11think there's there's criticism that's valid that you understand like you should be able to know whether you up or whether something was good or not you should be able to look at it and go oh that wasn't my best work and be honest about that um but then once you're honest about that and you do your best work like either you like it or you don't the idea that everyone's going to like it is crazy because people just don't like the same things everybody likes what you're doing it stinks there's someone out there listening to fleetwood mac 24 7. okay they never heard a tupac song there's no biggie in their car they never listen to nas it is tusk all day long every day that's okay that's okay too man you know if you're really into fleetwood mac and someone tries playing you know some led zeppelin and you're not into it and you get angry okay that's not your fault it's just

63:59like that's not what you're into yeah if someone comes to see you and they go oh this guy's just not for me but then some 25 year old guy is like i love it he's not wrong no everybody has a different opinion he's right actually joe that guy gets it uh he gets it man he gets you if you go well if you go to a comedy club in general and if you vocalize that you do not enjoy the show in any way i i i sort of look at you as an i i don't need to do that because you you can have an opinion there's nothing wrong with having an opinion but for you to say that your opinion is more important than the whole show it's crazy yes cause that's what you're doing you're either doing one of two things either your ego is so inflated you think you're going to correct this person and you're going to stop their jokes in its tracks and they're going to realize the error of their ways and it's going to

64:47make them a better person and you're going to also educate this entire crowd that's been laughing at this awful stuff that's a foolhardy way of looking it's not going to happen also if you know the way comedy works you realize you just pissed off the comment because now he's going dude i'm working on this yeah i'm trying now i have a new way of wording this tonight and now i want to do it a certain way and you just went and that up you and maybe maybe i'm gonna get there maybe i'm gonna get to a place where you actually enjoy the joke you but you ruined it now well the thing is people see every time you're on stage they see you as this is a finished product you're presenting what they don't understand is and i'm hoping people get it more now than they ever did before but this some people still don't get it it's a year the way we work stuff out is by trying it on stage and

65:31sometimes we take chances over and over again and sometimes those chances come out terrible and it's not that we're a bad person we're trying to figure out the right combination of things and sometimes you try to do it in the moment and the best that everybody really likes were people who are taking risks there's very all of the greats you're talking about everyone that when people talk about their top 10 lists of comedians these are people who took some chances 100 they you didn't have a cell phone to watch what they were doing in the club and the night that the joke bombed you know where you know you know whoever is talking about you know richard prior talking about smoking crack he had nights where that joke bombed yeah and nobody's laughing and there's somebody that went you know what my dad's addicted to crack that really bothers me but nobody it just was a different time

66:12so nobody had the outlet to sort of express that um i think that yeah i mean they're they're patrice o'neill who i mean in my opinion greatest uh comedian to ever live um uh also a boston guy um and he you know he talked about it um when i think he was defending is either kramer or uh radio guys anthony don the nappy-headed hoes comment yeah and he was just talking about how you know it's a joke yeah and jokes whether they're good or bad they all come from the same places this idea and i'm like well i wanna i wanna this is something funny and i'm gonna go turn it into something that's gonna hopefully make people laugh the end result is a very much a net positive a room of people laughing yes right and sometimes you take that chance and it bombs and it hits people the wrong way you're like oh i up i i said it wrong i didn't do it right but it's wrong it's not the wrong isn't the

67:05right word well the problem is we're trying it out with the people you need the audience to help you create the best yes they're in the process they don't think of them they should understand it more well they don't understand it and so like i mean you don't have to laugh like i know it's not funny if it comes out wrong but if you if you get mad at someone for something that's not done yet or unless but there's you know there are points in time where someone can say something that's so egregiously incorrect that at the very least you want to leave the room i get that i i mean i've seen it i've seen people say things on stage it'll be hard to get me to leave a room for anything there's no there's not many subjects if i thought it was stupid if it was insulting to my intelligence if i was frustrated listening to this idiot talk on stage i would leave the room

67:49yeah nothing wrong with leaving the room but there's a big difference between leaving the room and yelling out hey man what you're saying is not funny this is not funny i don't care why these people are laughing that shit's not funny you should stop talking about like that's nonsense that's nonsense like you're not in a court where someone's reading affidavit stupid this is someone trying to make funny out of life yeah it either works or it doesn't and if it doesn't that's okay i'll figure it out or i won't figure it out be the way this is just a process you yelling out something you know throwing up your flag of virtue in front of everyone it's just preposterous it's like you don't you don't get to do that at a comedy club and it's right that they kick you out it's just a stupid it's a stupid way to handle it and then when guys are like i'm helping the show oh my god that is

68:34the ultimate stupid no just because everyone's laughing now because i'm roasting you doesn't mean you're helping the show stupid yeah it's uh usually i i'll just have the audience turn on that person they always just point out to the fact that that's that's the secret sauce you'll see comics do this they'll go like look i don't even care dude you're making these people you're making them mad they're wasting their money so and then the audience starts to go yeah yeah this guy well some people think that they could do comedy and so that's why they do well you said it before it's like we make it look easy if you're a good comic you're making it look like it's off the cuff you're rolling with the punches just talking you're just talking up there and then some other guy who maybe is very funny might be the funniest of his friends right which to be honest with you that's all you need

69:15to start doing comedy he should maybe go sign up for an open mic more power to him exactly but he goes oh this is easy he sees everyone laughing you go i remember when i was in high school i would make everyone laugh that was an awesome feeling and then they take that shot and once in a while it works in their favor you look like a real have you read that happen where somebody says something hilarious and you're like dude but you got to be laughing at it yeah but then you then the problem is it encourages more people and then people get drunk and then as the night goes on like some there's always some dummy he's been holding on to this idea he's going to heckle you about something he's got it in his head for like 10 minutes and finally yeah blurts it out you're like what you were holding on to that for all that time yeah it's it's a hard thing to make to make a group of people after the

69:59exact same time yeah that are expecting to laugh that is a very specific it's also a weird thing i feel like aliens saw us doing comedy they just blow up the comedy club like this is crazy this is like i don't know what it is it does stop us from killing all the fish first that's the first thing they do though hey how many fish you guys going to eat there's no fish left dude we keep going i joke around about this all the time because it kind of it's one of the things that freaks me out more than anything about what people do on the planet what it dude i've watched countless hours of uh commercial fishing nets pulling gigantic halls of fish into their boats yeah and you're like how many how many souls how many souls are in that net there's no souls in a fish i know i don't think humans have souls so fish don't even take care of their babies man like one one or two fish do some of them

70:52hold their babies in their mouth but fish they they just out some eggs the male comes over jizzes on the eggs it's like they have such a minimal connection because they know their time is short however most likely they're not going to survive what's the lifespan of a fish if they make it it's a good question i'm sure it varies yeah shark sharks whales live a long time um let's say a grouper that's a giant ass fish how old is an old grouper i want to say 30. that old crazy you mean to look do you start with like ocean fish no let's go with grouper because grouper is a gigantic ocean fish it could be three days or 30 years there's such a differentiation what the answer could be i have no idea for me it's definitely years 30 years 30 years nailed it phil rogers holy total guess total gas yeah that makes sense though like a deer a deer lives like if everything goes perfect a deer will live

71:48like 15 years and then they get jacked by something named joe rogan no giant turtles have like almost oh yeah they're almost almost immortal yeah they don't even know how old those are yeah they could be a thousand years old right isn't that the case really something crazy like that yeah yeah i think a giant turtle can live we should probably google that i've tried to look like before i don't think like i don't know how you know they like pull kill it to test you know what they used to do on boats man they used to fill the hull like the bottom of the boat with turtles they'd take the turtles and flip them on their back because they'll live down there for months on their back because they they don't really have to eat all the time that's how they would use they'd use them for food so they would have all these turtles live turtles and they were still live so

72:35they weren't rotting but they couldn't do jack because they were on their backs and so they would go down there and pick them up and take a turtle and bring it upstairs and cook it have you ever had turtle soup yeah i think i have i said i said that when i was saying that i'm like are you lying i think i have i think i had it once a long time ago i can't remember i didn't i was going to have it i was in florida at one of these like frog leg types yeah yeah it's like a place that's like the best you wanna have some alligator yeah and yeah it's like alligator meat and like i tried alligator meat tried frog legs i don't eat exotic i've only tried alligator meat at like one of those tgi friday type joints you know one of those like chain type and it was like deep fried batter fried and it was like chewy chicken like chewy chicken but apparently when they get it fresh like

73:23if they shoot an alligator and then they take the back straps off of it and they cook it correctly it's delicious apparently yeah but it's one of those things that like when you get it at a restaurant unless it's like a legit restaurant like they're probably serving you some frozen frozen alligator that yeah and who's how they how'd they take care of it before they froze it i mean you ever see those uh swamp people shows where they have boats filled with alligators i don't think they're eating those man i think most of those they're just taking the skins off of them and selling it for the leather yeah that's that's what's really valuable yeah dude i've no no adventure in me i watch you posting videos of you hunting and killing things and then eating it it's like if you just go back to your your instagram three days in a row it's like i could watch like a an animal alive to being on your

74:07plate and it's i mean more power to you dude the whole thing i'm i watch it in awe because i could never i could never kill something even even i don't i don't definitely could kill something listen to me you could kill something and you definitely could if you wanted to feed your son there's no doubt in my mind if you had a gun and there was a deer and you were hungry you're starving yes you don't even have to be starving you just have to have not the best processing intermittent fasting right now it's like 11 a.m i'll what is this jamie 46 grams of protein in alligator is that a pound 3.3 ounces holy three ounces of alligator 46 grams of protein all you gainers out there well of course it's a goddamn murderous dinosaur it's got no fat on it it's just muscle and reptile skin they're monsters man terrifying that story about like the like uh that's the other thing about becoming a father

74:57that people don't tell you everything makes you terrified oh yeah so you know the so i'm supposed to bring my kid to disney in july and i'm like there was a story about the alligator who grabbed a little kid and dragged him into the uh on the property of disney yep or the father just watched his kid get eaten dude florida there's too many alligators they can't keep track of them so if you have a body of water and you're not standing there 24 7 with the spotlight and a rifle those can sneak into that water that's that's some real man yeah they'll sneak into that water they'll cross that grass you don't know they're there they climb into that water you don't know they're there and they'll be underwater for an hour two hours and they'll pop their little head up they see that little kid now goddamn i'm hungry that kid's too close to the water and they'll just grab them

75:37they don't have any qualms about that they don't know what the you are they don't care what you are yeah they they have a brain the size of a goddamn walnut and they've been alive in that form for who knows how many millions of years and they just kill each other without food for a year man really 95 alligators removed from disney property in orlando since toddler killed 95. that was just like in that last year this was two years ago and this isn't written dude they're 25 up to 400 alligators through april like it's a project like they're building a bridge bro we were there like uh a year ago and first of all if you haven't gone to disneyland disneyland has the dopest ride in the history of the world avatar disney land will have the dopest ride when they have this millennium falcon ride that opens up supposedly it's insane but the the avatar ride in disney

76:32world in orlando is off the charts yeah it's crazy man it really lets you know like oh my god the future of these rides it's like one of those like uh virtual reality yeah it's like the where you see crazy and you're moving you put on uh this helmet and the helmet is a virtual reality goggle and it straps you into this chair and this chair is like it looks like a motorcycle yeah and then you look down and you were riding this dragon and that's it and you go for this full hd 3d environment they keep getting better and better i did the transformers i brought my kid to universal uh last year that's a fun ride it was the transformers was awesome harry potter ride was dope yeah love the harry potter park you're like what in the is that stupid fake dinosaur it was a last year i think they they got rid of it it's the last one but it was more money on the ride than they did

77:19making the movie for jurassic park and it wasn't that good really yeah i read that recently come on hundred dollars no impossible that's impossible that's literally impossible but that ride is so old you got to use chuck e cheese technology yeah in that ride it's a animatronic they could re-skin it and it would be a giant rat playing drums i know it's not even remotely scary it's like what well the drop is scary that's the thing at the end of it they do a drop at the end you know my son was five so he was terrified the jurassic park river adventure 110 million dollars oh my god it remains the most expensive amusement park ride of all time and actually cost twice as much as jurassic park the movie i would have guessed whoever made that right now has a bottle of champagne in one hand a coke tray in the other and they're just they're living in the bahamas or some just

78:09laughing about how they got 110 million dollars to make this shitty ass ride yeah and just live in like a baller it's uh yeah it is it's a different i mean like jay-z and big pimpin 110 million that ride is worth 35 dollars if that was at a county fair i'd be like all right yes that would be the best rider to county fair big ride it's a big ride you see the dinosaur comes out looks pretty good yeah like you never snap back dinosaur i i got caught smoking weed at universal studios i had my girl bring my kid away and i was outside of the jurassic park i didn't get caught by the police but i was outside of jurassic park ride and i was like all right you know bring him to go get a soda or whatever i'm gonna sit here and smoke my vape pen and uh there's like one of the handlers they have a thing where they have a velociraptor it's like a person in the costume but it's like an animatronic

78:59costume and they're pretending to be like a velociraptor and the uh the trainers like trying to calm them down it's a whole display with the kids and everyone's really excited so i'm just like kind of watching it like getting stoned zoning out and at one point the girls got like one of those you know uh microphone face pieces on she just goes she goes sir not here and that was it and i went up and then i just sir not here faded off into the business i know i wonder if they're cooler about it now no this is a year ago oh this is not that long ago wow i was very surprised i was like this is california well not only that what would it what if it was a vape pen with tobacco or cbd or are you allowed to do that probably not i think there's smoking areas that are designated but she knew what it was she saw my face my mouth was a gape watching real velociraptors walking around i was

79:49losing my mind it was awesome dude like get out of here stoner yeah i was listening to the radio in utah and they were talking about how they have to uh re uh they have to figure out what to do with their drug sniffing dogs now because there's no reason there must be some is there a change in utah is utah changing their uh their drug policy because it was funny this listening to this old dude on just for the for the of it i was listening to am radio talk radio and this old dude was talking about how they uh they're going to decommission some of these drug sniffing dogs because they'd use them on like traffic stops there we go medical marijuana in utah could mean retirement for generation of drug canines she's putting these dogs down well they also were worried about the police officers themselves losing jobs when you hear about pot that's making its way into a place like utah

80:42you know first of all you realize god damn pot is really you can't stop it it's here the genie's out of the bottle it's here the revenue's in grandma feels better you know the alzheimer's the people that have all these serious issues that cbd is fixing arthritis patients people with like real problems that are not finding any other solution that works the way cannabis does they just give it in and then they're making all this money but then you see these old folks that are from a different time and they're talking about it and they they look at it in terms of like how many police jobs are going to go away right how many dogs are going to be well none of them smoke weed so they're like it's not really my problem and interesting to watch them look at it as an economic issue the problem is you have potheads that are leading the charge so it's for a long time it was difficult to take him

81:27yeah you needed you needed straight lace guys to come in and you know there's a lot of money there there's so much money in it that you're getting that but when you have hippies playing hacky sack and yeah you know wearing puka shell necklaces it's sort of hard to take them seriously when the reality is they kind of want to be legalized for recreational purposes and you know yeah i i don't like for i don't i don't use we that doesn't try i do i do take cbd i did literally during that fight i was using topical cbd the whole time um so i guess you take oral too i do i take cbd excellent daily but i don't know infinite cbd sponsors are podcasts and festivals well they're also i'll get you a bunch of products cause they're a really great company that supports comedy they they sponsored my tour when i was prepared for my special they're dope but um i take it daily i take the the oil

82:17um just because you know apparently all of the the benefits that it has with getting your body back into homeostasis and making you feel better and getting back in line i don't know the effects i smoke weed every day as well so i'm sure i'm getting cbd effects as well but in my mind i'm going well i have a bunch of this stuff i know that since i started taking it i weirdly feel better but i can't really connect you said before you take cbd and you go into another realm well i was taking one and one it's like one gram of cbd to one gram of thc like it's uh it's one part so whatever milligrams you have it's both like it's 10 milligrams cbd it's 10 milligrams of wheat as well it's potent yeah i take regular cbd too though i take oil i feel like it's uh it's very beneficial and much more potent in terms of its anti-inflammatory benefits than just smoking it smoking it

83:07does something for you it definitely reduces inflammation makes you feel better i was taking sore joints the topical i was using topical's good too but i think the real combination is topical plus uh the oil you don't have to take but people a lot of people find that they have better pain relief from one versus one plus one like one part thc one part so it's like edible like you know marijuana mixed with cbd a lot of people find great benefit in that for some reason yeah i had to trick my aunt because my aunt sell anti-drugs and if i told her that cbd was derived from hemp she would she wouldn't take it she has bad arthritis and i gave it to her for uh for that and she loves it and i told her after the fact but it's grabbing dude it's just a plant folks and and if you just get straight cbd it has no psychoactive properties there's no it's not gonna the only thing it's gonna do

83:56is for some folks and it works a little bit that way with me it alleviates some anxiety just relaxes you yeah yeah that's uh that's why i smoke weed too yeah i smile and i've been arrested probably 10 times in my life and every time was for smoking a joint in the street every single time dude they arrested they take you in yeah new york turkey in a cell it's crazy still they're still doing the last time i was put into a cell for smoking weed was a year and a half ago me and dave smith two years ago maybe did you tell them you were lewis jay gomez i told him lewis gomez that's when i started using the middle initial show i was like you know what there's a problem i learned the lesson how many louis gomez's must have rap sheets doggy when i go to the airport every time i come back into the country i am pulled into a room and they they look like they're about to fist me with a

84:47rubber glove every time have you been to panama any time recently sir yeah that's it come right this way every single time anytime of bolivia sir but yeah dude when in new york city the way it works is you it's dude it sucks oh it's happened so many times it's the worst because it's just a major inconvenience yeah painting has to get into canada i can do it now because they changed the laws but i didn't go to canada for like three years because of weed for being arrested for a joint we're not talking about like i have an ounce that i just bought from my dealer and they found a large amount on me a joint smoking on the street what they do is they they at first they they take the weed and they go all right we're just gonna give you a ticket just hang tight relax we're gonna put cuffs on you this is just to keep you calm and just to get you in the paddy wagon this is all a process then they

85:34put you in a paddy wagon they used to have sweet nights in new york where all it was was they would go and try to find kids smoking weed drunk kids college kids pissing in public public intoxication and the entire night they would just pick up everybody and fill up paddy wagons and create criminals just create criminals out of teenagers you know and they were talking that's why the stop and frisk law has happened in new york they changed it because they were just targeting black and hispanic kids because they're like oh come here let me let me see what's in your pockets vastly disproportionately numbers of them being stopped and frisk versus white kids of course and everybody's got weed in their pocket in new york city okay it's just so stupid that it's still illegal there like how the is that clinging on in one of the biggest cities in the world how the is that still almost like

86:15the same thing with the ufc it wasn't legal there it was the last date right i believe it was the last state or maybe second to last and it's because corruption yeah the amount of red tape involved the amount of people that have to be paid off to make any laws happen in any type of way they kept the ufc out wind up going to jail one of the guys that was actively campaigning to keep the ufc out he went to jail for corruption which guy was this i don't remember him yeah that was the thing we dealt with that for a long time i don't even care i mean i knew what it was man you know i used to live in new york i know what it is there's a lot of that still around it's too big of a city too much too many rats in the holes you know you know any rats are in the streets of new york city just all throughout the bottom of the subway and running around the sewer system there's rats yeah they just like

86:58they become a part of the ecosystem well there's human rats too there's like creepy corrupt that have been manipulating and getting people to pay them off for protection and all sorts of sneaky city-related that takes forever to clean out yeah it's just to get it out of the the streets of new york yeah it would take forever they did a good job i mean they cleaned up times square they've they eliminated a lot of the mob but they're still little mob killings right that guy just that just got yeah some dude just got killed just got whacked that happened and i was like what there's the mob the mob still alive still alive they're out there still whacking people no way i know i thought it was dumb i thought it was done i literally thought it ended in like the 80s the italian mob i had no idea i thought so too i thought they were all like reality stars now

87:42yeah right i know like mob bosses wives yeah those shows growing up gotti that was one of them what whatever one where this lady was i remember watching one where this girl was drinking and she she got mouthy with this guy and then the guy told her go herself she's like oh yeah then she calls her ex-husband up who said mobster the ex-husband comes over and talks to the guy i'm like you imagine you're some poor guy at a bar and some crazy lady starts yelling out you go you and she calls this guy who comes over and you look in his eyes you know he's killed about 18 people you're like oh jesus that's it yeah yeah yeah well that's the other thing is like you know when you go after a chick you got to be ready to fight you gotta if you're just calling some chick a fat yeah oh that just just be ready just whatever's gonna happen and and i feel bad because the guy that

88:31she's with now he's like now i gotta fight for this fat gun i've seen it happen man oh yeah i had we were at a ufc event in philly years ago forest griffin anderson silva okay and uh there was a guy i was with a chick who was sort of dating she was a little chubbier and we were me and my buddies were there and these philly were just ready for a fight dude back then dude jersey philly there was always like seven eight fights in the crowd it was like it was crazy and these guys were just ready for a fight i remember she was like there and they were like right in front of us but she was sort of in between us and the guy just said he was like yeah you and your fat girlfriend and literally in that moment i'm like well now i have to fight this guy because he i don't even like this girl really so now it's like a but it's a it's a weird thing so i i just pretended i didn't hear him oh

89:24that was it was kind of like scuffled and i was like that was that she was like did you hear what he said i was like no what are you talking about you have to fight for my honor yeah yeah i haven't dated girls like that that will while you're getting i'm gonna get a hot dog i've had i've had girls that i've dated that would want you to fight for them not want they would just ladies if any ladies listen to the show all three or four ladies that are listening to this show right now if just don't get your man into a fight let him decide don't start talking to another dude you're you're putting him in a situation that maybe he doesn't want to be in and you're never going to know whether or not he wants to be in that situation you're never going to get the honest story what's going on in his mind right there just know we never want you to start talking to a dude in

90:10the middle of an altercation because it's never gonna end good no most the time most of time does not end good especially if blows start flying man people getting knocked out some guy got hurt really bad at a dodgers game recently he got knocked out and cracked his head off the ground that's what people need to understand people die from that you watch movies and people knock people out and the person's fine no you could get a goddamn murder rap if you punch someone and they fall and most people when you punch them in the face they go unconscious they have no idea what happened they go unconscious their head bounces off the ground they die it happens all the time kevin james when he was a kid he was a bouncer in long island and one of the guys at the bar i don't think he was working that night but one of the guys he knew and worked with knocked a guy

90:51out the guy fell hit his head off a curb dead guy went up to going to jail for years spent years in jail at some 10 hour job where you're fighting drunks yeah just getting into some dumb fight which is thinking it's okay to just tee off on someone's face but it's also probably pretty rare people falling and hitting their head and dying that's not rare at all that's really common think about what that is once i've seen a lot of people get knocked out so that's the wrong guy to ask but i'm saying dying from hitting their head on a curve i haven't seen him die but they could easily yeah if you i mean i guarantee you in a major city like new york i bet somebody dies falling and hitting their head off the curb every week when you punch someone and they fall think about how far that is right think about the amount of force that's involved now think about if you were

91:35standing there and someone hit you in the back of the head with something now think about that something was the world the earth it doesn't give at all concrete doesn't give it all the only thing that gives your head your head has to bounce and your skull fractures and you get internal bleeding your brain hemorrhages it cuts off your ability to move you might have a stroke you might have i mean it's horrible getting knocked out and falling and hitting your head off the ground is a terrifying thing and when you hear the sound of smack of someone's head bouncing off the concrete it's it's terr it sounds hollow it sounds like like a like a melon it sounds terrible like a hard melon or something like that yeah uh yeah you see it happen um where people pass out there's like videos that are out there that's like fall over and then they just split their head up outside the worst dude gruesome

92:25falling backwards though is something especially when you get hit you get clipped on the chin your head snaps and your lights shut off and you just fall and bounce it's even in boxing matches man some scariest knockouts when a guy gets ko'd and then his head bounces off the ground yeah and mma in the ufc same thing when guys fall back and their head bounces off the ground it's like a double knockout that's why i watched that fight science thing back in the day that they were doing on spike tv um it was like a show called i think was called fight science and they were just explaining why ground and pound was so much more brutal than a straight-up standing punch and they were just go they like you know they showed the 3d animation of the head and the fist coming down and then the head bouncing off the mat and then the brain bouncing off the front then bouncing to the back

93:08then the fist comes back up again and your brain is just being over and over again and you can't go anywhere you're stuck oh it's terrifying i got beat up in the sixth grade by an african kid named babatunde look at this every day 153 people in the united states die from injuries that include traumatic brain injury wait a minute okay that include traumatic brain injury so it's an injury that also has traumatic brain injury yeah this is a head injury i see what they're saying those who survive a tbi can face effects that lasts a few days or the rest of their lives that's the other thing impaired thinking of memory movement sensation vision emotional functioning personality changes or depression these issues not only affect individuals can have lasting effects on families and community well that's yeah yeah um yeah man don't don't get hit in the head don't do it avoid it yeah take it

93:54from somebody that's been hitting the head avoid it yeah i uh whenever with my son because there's just like a lot of there's a weird thing in new york as well where there's like a lot of tough guys that it's like this alpha energy where you get on the subway and there's another dude who like makes eye contact with you and you're like weirdly like you're in a weird beef now because you're just looking at a dude in the eyes yeah and it's and that and then it becomes a thing where you have to like look away right then you have this internal struggle where you're going like well no i'm not going to look away because this guy's looking at me and then and then i looked at my kids right there and i'm going like what is even going on in my head right now i need to just go to another subway car just avoid at all costs having to get into a confrontation in front of him because that's one of my

94:36biggest fears in the world is not knowing what to do these people that live in like montana that are listening to this right now they're like what the are you talking about like you look each other in the eye and someone wants to fight for no reason this is the nature of being penned up yeah that many people i was there's something cool about it the cool thing we talked about before that people are like you're exposed even if you're a poor kid you're exposed to rich people they're there they're normal like it doesn't seem unattainable or unreachable they're all around you that path is there well there are humans that are they're just like you you're around them but if you live in a place where you're never around them you never get that so there's benefits to new york for sure culturally there's benefits the just the just the energy the city and so much creativity so much going on

95:20yeah it's even beyond just the money thing it is the creativity portion where like literally everybody everybody that's in new york is trying to do something yes they're oh they're all trying to make something happen whether they're you know if they're trying to become a banker they're trying to become the number one banker in the country they're trying to become the best at that um and that that energy of success it's really that's it's really good and that's why i'm happy on one level i'm happy i'm raising my kid in the city because of that on the other level it's like i want my kid to build a tree house he's never got the treehouse he can't go out of the house without somebody being right there could show them some on the weekends take them places on the weekends where you could be around the woods so you could get like the best of both worlds there's there's definitely a

96:02there's a benefit to being in a city where you're a kid or an adult there's definitely a benefit the negative part is this depreciation of of value of life people there's so many people you don't think of them as being as important they're they're a hindrance as much as they are like a nice thing to see yeah well there's so many homeless people too and there's a homeless woman who basically stands on my corner and just begs for change every day um and my son was with me the other day and this woman she's like hey do you have any money for a sandwich and i was like nah sorry i don't today and i keep on walking and i might look down my son he's like ted that's really sad she doesn't have money for a sandwich and i'm like she asked every day james every day she asks okay i can't i had to explain to him i was like i was like well you know look i can't give her

96:53money every single day and i was like you know what i do have a dollar though i was like why don't we go back and give her a dollar and then he was like no i get it now we walked i swear to god he stopped me from giving her the dollar well if the world was just one if there was only one person like that that was the only issue just one lady just needs some help you'd be uh uh we'll just help her yeah but when there's a million of them you're like well i can't help but i just can't do this i got to keep going i got to concentrate on my own yeah and that's like that's a microcosm of what happens in a city yeah if that lady was in a small town she would be the the crazy beggar lady people would probably like figure out a way to help her cans or something yeah some people the problem is it's just like humans some humans when you give them that as an option just begging like there's guys

97:41who do it and there was a whole san francis when i lived in san francisco there was a news report thing about this guy who was doing it for a living he was making a lot of money a lot of money now he's just begging and he was essentially saying there's nothing wrong with it it's totally legal and i just make up stories and have people uh donate money to me and i think of it as like an occupation so he it was weird listening to him talk about it because he was telling this lady who was the reporter lady he was telling her how she could do it too and you know how he was doing it and how he shows people how to do it but he he was making like a decent living couple hundred bucks a day yeah i'm sure i don't remember because i was a kid but i remember listening like oh this he's just faking it i don't in a weird way i i appreciate the hustle i don't look i watch my mom

98:28on welfare i remember as a kid watching my mom collect a welfare check and sit in the room smoke cigarettes and not work and i remember as a little kid being like that's not right i was like what are you doing just work do something else we could be in a better situation just from way too young having that thought okay um but in a weird way i i appreciate the guy's hustle he's figured out a way to thrive sort of it's not nothing to be proud of you know he shouldn't be bragging about it but at the same time like it's just a different system it's a different game we if you disconnect from sort of like you know whatever we're you know he's a con artist there's not never a good thing having someone who's lying to everybody all the time i appreciate a good con artist i really do they're boring yeah yeah it's boring it's boring just figure it out stupid stop lying aren't they figuring out

99:15something different they're just finding lemmings that's all they're doing they're finding lemmings they're finding people that don't know any better people that what's three card money come on i'll show you well that's what they do the homeless lady is doing sh there's now look i've been in new york city since 2001. um i've i'm so desensitized to homeless people that i there's no part of me that feels bad i just will walk on sorry can't keep on going but what happens is you get they're they're looking for the person who moved there a week ago they're looking for the tourists they're looking for the person who's looking for nice people and they're they're there so it's sort of like that's but that's not the same thing like that lady might just be crazy she's not a con artist con artists or people lying and pretending that listen my car broke down um my wife and kid haven't

99:56had anything to eat in 24 hours and i'm really in a bad situation i would never do this but i just ask you if you could just give me five dollars and the guy says i think yeah man sure i'm sorry here's five dollars next person hey man um i need to go uh take this flight to see my mom she's dying of cancer well that'll change it usually they have the same story sold and they'll change it all the time well i had a guy do that to me in new york when i first moved there and i was this guy he was wearing a suit young white guy wearing a suit he was like dude i missed my bus back home i was here for a job interview um you know i'm just trying to get money for a bus ticket back home and i was like guys here's a couple bucks whatever and the next day in union square same kid same suit same story because they learn it like a sales pitch right so they know the beats of they know exactly

100:37what to say you see when on the subway when they get on the subway they have an actual script you know so it's like you know i don't mean to beg you know but my wife is blah blah blah and you see them every day going down the cart and it if you ever done a sales job a good sales script is pretty good you're just sort of fishing you're playing the numbers you're you're instead of sort of adding emotion to it and changing the story and doing all these different things and putting too much thought into it you go i'm going to run the script and close one out of 20 people that walk by stupid yeah no it's not the only benefit is that you grow up around people that are full of you learn how to spot people that are full of it's the only benefit other than that it's just annoying i agree with you but i also can appreciate it i can i can appreciate a good hustler i appreciate hustler goes

101:20out and gets a job you don't just lie to people everywhere with some stupid story about how you missed your bus get your together stop mooching money from people that's gross well what about that's gross what about a guy who sells his cd on the street that's maybe he's a bit different because he's offering something he has his art you know we got a cd player you do not have a cd player i do laptop i got a refurbished laptop we had this guy in columbus you're sort of reminding me i've completely forgot about him he was known as the rapping bum but or help is on the way for like 15 20 years at ohio state this guy would be on the high street which is like the main strip and he had this all these rhymes he would constantly go to it it always ended with help is on the way but i don't remember a lot of them but he always said help is on the way he ended like it was like his punch

102:06line like help is on the way he had t-shirts made about him i think people someone actually recorded him at one point in like 2005 or six but remember when they found that homeless dude that had that crazy radio voice yeah that was in columbus too was it yeah oh yeah he got a job right i think somebody gave him a job he went right back to the fight yeah he it up yeah well you can't you don't fix people man you can't fix him like that that voice was fire though it's a very good voice he had a great voice radio voice he got a lot of stuff he's smooth yeah and he just wound up going right back to being a homeless person right well dude i mean it's not uh maybe this is gonna sound very insensitive but most of the time it's not bad luck right you know it's sort of the the decisions you make and i'm not saying that you can't have a bad situation and you can't you know

102:50there is bad luck in the sense that some people are born into you know affluent households and some people are born into poverty but this is him yeah that's him let's hear it nothing but the best of oldies you're listening to magic 98.9 thank you so much god bless you thank you he was a radio guy in life and don't forget tomorrow morning is your chance to win a pair of tickets to see this man live in concert i have a theory i think doing that for a living makes you crazy that's what i think i think if you have that fake voice eventually you just snap you know i can't do this anymore i can't talk like this i can't have this fake voice yeah just blow a fuse and that guy blew a fuse imagine going into voiceover auditions have you done that a lot in your career no i've voiced over a couple things but not nothing serious it's such a weird like other hustle like you're like that's a

103:40whole world in comedy where like guys are every day going out and doing voice over auditions and trying to be a voice in some commercial they're so it's so disconnected from creativity like there's no part of everyone first started coming i started reading these like books on things you could do because this is before podcasting was even a thing and it was like you could do stand-up you could try to get corporate gigs you could try to write jingles for commercials or write hallmark cards that was one of the things books it was this chick who wrote all these books oh i know judy brown is that what it is you're so close it's not judy brown but you're close something like that yeah so she and she wrote books on how to do stand-up that was workbooks it was like the hell is her name she's the one who did it yeah yeah yeah she had a bunch of them but there was

104:24like no real evidence of her being good at comedy no none of them are good at commenting judy something how did you there was a but here's the deal for people listening don't know what the we're talking about there was literally no books on how to do stand-up there was no books there was a couple books written by comics and they were almost always tongue-in-cheek like belzer richard bowser wrote a book on how to do stand-up and just gave you some like joke advice for the most part carter judy carter carter yep so she wrote these books and how did you stand up and everybody bought those books everybody that wanted to try to do stand up bought those books yeah everyone you see him in comedy green room still a lot just like like on a shelf somewhere yeah and they would give you like exercises so she'd be like go get a newspaper and write 10 premises out of the newspaper today

105:10you know it's not look the reality is if you're not a funny person and you're still trying to pursue a path and stand up that's not sir i think so yeah there's nothing here with that shut that off you won't give her the time today i don't know you judy carter maybe she's funny i'm just joking impossible so goddamn sensitive these days yeah did you find that that's like what we're do honestly on a podcast just in the realm of talking this is one of the last bastions of actual talking yeah when we we smoked weed we sit back and chill half like half the fight companion podcast that we do we want to being completely blitzkrieg hammered by the time it's over hell yeah you're talking live and there's nothing in real time and if i put a microphone in front of you for 10 hours a week you're going to say something stupid you're going to say a lot more stupid than i say yeah way more

106:01stupid okay for sure pretty good it's like what patrice said is so pertinent it's so important that it all comes from the same place whether it hits or misses like when you're just trying to be funny you're just trying to be funny like that's all you're trying to do you're not trying to hurt anybody and sometimes to be funny the funniest thing to say is the most up thing or the thing that's making well i says about trolls all the time because you know people say mean about me on the internet and i'm and i i go well no it's not about me that's the funniest thing to say in that moment and they're trying to be they're comedy fans they're trying to be funny so and i you when you step back and don't take it so personally you kind of go like oh i get why that's funny it also fits in with what you do yeah and that's what you do so it fits in they're jumping in we bust balls

106:45that's the other thing you don't realize it's called legion of skanks yeah i mean what the is anybody expecting from that name well that's why we don't get in trouble i think yes we called the most offensive podcast on earth yeah and we say i mean the craziest you could possibly see on a podcast it's nuts it's it's actually you're never gonna get a network gig no we deck we got a pilot deal with true tv last year that's a mistake by their part yeah they're glad they canceled it they put the kybosh on that bad boy don't you worry that never made it to even filming day you don't need it no we don't we don't need it with with the internet today man you don't need anything no but we're not you're right we're never going to get a tv deal i tell my agent you don't want it i literally told my agent stop sending me on acting gigs for abc what do you think's going to happen yeah what

107:27do you think's going to happen i'm going to get a gig and i'm going to get fired from it yeah and then it's going to put me in a would you sort of open that can of worms you're sort of labeled the problem i'd rather work with people that want to work with me and sort of get what i do well not only that do you really have aspirations to be an actor no or is it one of those stupid things they rope you into it's one of those stupid things wasting time yeah they rope you into it because like mitch hedberg had a whole joke about it but that comedy is one of the weird things that if you like do comedy they expect you to also act yeah you know he had i forget the and it's another completely different different thing such a different thing i mean even on the like the like the the cellular level like how to start off acting as such a you go to technique classes and there's it's a real art i

108:11really appreciate people are good actors it is a majorly different thing um but for some reason they group them together like actor and comedian when it's as different as hockey player and comedian yeah it is well not really because if you can act you could be a comic if you can do comedy i think you can act i think it's possible maybe it's impossible more likely if you do comedy you can act this might be uh my own bias more likely do you want some weed you don't have to roll it like a peasant no i'll roll some weed i feel like bring i'll bring some weed dude we get sponsored speedweed here it's already rolled out i love that he's a man he's the best that war chest in the back that's all weed dude we can get high for a year baby boy i love it what i'm talking about i didn't realize you smoked blunts too which is dope where's the one that we just had is it

109:02this one this one must go out yeah no was it different over here is that it yeah that's it get one that's as fresh as possible that might be it that last one might be it no this is not that thing's falling off one second ago you're like dude we got weed for days here we're going through roaches to uh what's his face um uh action bronson oh yeah actually bronze he came in here and by the time the ashtray was done i had to take a picture of it like this is ridiculous this is all his weed oh he just keeps like seven joints i mean blunts just kept going big ones sticks bats yeah yeah i'm a i'm a pothead i'm a morning dude smoker i was saying i wrote i wrote last night at uh like one o'clock in the morning i took it edible gave the missus the business and then afterwards i uh i had i couldn't lay down i was laying down i was like midnight all these ideas were rolling through my head

110:09i'm like i know the right thing to do i got to get up and write and uh sometimes you write and just comes out and there's nothing there and sometimes you write you just hit a vain man whether it's creativity vulnerability uh life experiences thoughts recent things in the news everything just comes together boom and then you have these ideas and then those ideas could eventually be bits that's like those moments when you get an idea or you get the inspiration to write man as a comic it's one of the most important things to capture you got to dive on those yeah you might have your next closing bit in that moment it's such a hard that's where you the difference between pros who are legitimately um who really care about the craft and guys like me who i don't i need to do it more i mean i i i this the first time doing this special was the first time that i ever

111:02had to there was a purpose to doing santa it was a hobby before there was nothing i wasn't working on anything i was running a race for no reason there was nothing there was no i was doing bits you're just working on it forever like nobody's asking for this i'm not i'm not doing late night sets or putting out an album um and all of those little habits that they're great you ever you you definitely know gary goldman who's a brilliant comic book brilliant gary forever i'm sure he's too unbelievable i didn't know him from boston i met him out here i met him i think i met him at the laugh actor he's a man but he's on his twitter he does like a writing tip every day oh beautiful and he's got these really cool writing tips for young comics if you're young comic you should go follow gary goldman because he's great um but he has these just little great little tips where it's like when

111:43you're writing down your your jokes leave a space between each line so then you can go in and fill in different words later and it gets very specific like that um and i think putting in those little habits and just making it a a genuine rule where you say every morning i'm going to get up and i'm going to write for one hour and i'm going to commit to that whether i feel motivated or not you will eventually reap a lot of benefits and i think a lot when i started doing comedy it was like it wasn't or these are the these are the stuff that's some of the last most recent ones you did you spilled written wrong um but i up spelling all the time it's okay to bomb taking risks essentially oh it's good for him there's also i think there's a twitter called advice for writers that's interesting here's the number one thing though here's number one right just do it just get out there and

112:28make it happen just start moving you gotta force yourself to sit in front of a notepad or whatever it is for x amount of time a day have a timer set it make sure you do it and then if that timer goes off you're still working keep going if you can if you feel it keep going but make yourself do it if you just make yourself do it that's more important than anything else all that other stuff the other stuff is good it's all good to have structure and understanding but the number one thing people have a problem with is doing it it's like talking about exercise but not exercising you know what i'm saying well it's like i think the other thing is with social media you have the the tendency to say oh i'm gonna just tweet this and then you don't really work the joke the same way you would if you were sitting down and trying to work a joke because you're trying to fit it

113:08into a certain amount of characters you're trying to make it funny in a certain way when you're not going to get the maximum and that's why i think a problem where i have i'm like oh dude i'll just go and tweet this or i'll put it on instagram or whatever it is um but yeah i think uh that's another i think i'm sort of turning a corner now where i'm starting to look at that process more that's fun too man tweet jokes are great nothing wrong with it a lot of people have become famous for having a really good twitter account when they say funny nothing wrong with that but you gotta write for yourself man like writing for yourself is everything it's everything it's the one thing that we tend to off on you know so one thing that i like to reinforce it do you still listen back to sets and everything i listen to them in my car i have them uh i listen to them on the way

113:52um if i'm working on some new to try to say oh yeah i don't forget that part oh make sure you pause there make sure you maybe if you emphasize this first and then you're picking up punches right there yeah yeah it's like doing an extra set it's like say if you do three sets a night but you record three sets a night and you listen to two sets a night now you did five sets a night yeah it is like it because you're in that mindset maybe even more beneficial like not beneficial in terms of like you know that groove that you get in when you just loose on stage and everything's flowing like the only way to get there i think or the only way i know how to get there i should say is i have to do a lot of stand up if i don't do a lot of stand up there's always this weird feeling of awkwardness that you have to overcome in the beginning yeah when you do a lot of stand-up right away

114:35you can be loose and that is essential for getting the material across the best way but you probably can get a lot of work done on top of that if you listen more a lot of guys don't like to listen that's gross listen to yourself like shut up stupid ugh your voice you're so annoying and fake we're watching back to special editing at myself with an editor obviously but you start to hate it and the more time you have with it you're taking more things out and you're noticing more things wrong and you'll eventually whittle it down to nothing i think look i think that's probably a good sign you know my taste is uh is better than i am as a comedian like substantially like i i i have impeccable taste in comedy like the guys who i look up to patrice david tell you know these are the best of the best in my opinion um and you know that i sort of hold myself to that standard

115:29and i'll never be there in my mind and i'm probably in most people's minds but i'll never you know those are the best um and you start to hate it and that's a that's a very difficult painful process that i think most people most people even if you don't do stand-up go listen back anybody older listen to this think about when you still put answering machine messages but you still do it with your voicemail how many times do you go back and look i sound like a idiot you delete it again and again and again and you've done it 30 times and yeah i think that's just sort of natural yeah if you care about what you do you're going to hate it you know uh alexander gustafson said something like that once he's one of the ufc's top light heavyweights and he was talking about being a professional fighter that as a professional athlete he was never satisfied he still is never

116:12satisfied like nothing's ever good enough and this is just the mindset that you have to be to be an elite athlete and i think anything you're really trying to do you're going to pick it apart and as you're picking it apart you're going to find stuff that you hate but you guys still find stuff that you love too this like the balance of doing too many sets you know when you do too many sets and you get stale yeah flat yeah that's not good either oh yeah well when you're just going through the same thing yeah you know where the punches come you feel like they know it's like you feel like they know that's part of it because you know so it's hard for you to be in the moment because it's like you've heard it too many times so you don't want to say it again well i i think about this like you know it must be crazy for you because every show you do there's somebody that probably

116:55followed you from the next city and are you ever conscious that are you ever thinking like dude i know that guy he saw this bit and it just for one dude admit for me one dude i'm like do i want to do that bit now it'll be a crowd of 250 people i'm like you know i don't want to do it and as i start saying it i'm i scan the crowd and i find his eyes and like i'm a hack i stink i'm so bad but that's the process that you have to go through and you know that i think stanhope yelled at a guy to stop coming and sitting in the front row like because he did a second show and the guy was there for the second show too in the same spot he's like what the you can't do that yeah yeah that it can definitely mess your head the illusion of you being in the moment talking about these subjects is out the window if someone saw you do it the exact same way three hours and that's the magic trick

117:42if you know the sleight of hand doesn't matter if you know what's gonna happen you just see it every single time yeah but there's some people that love the process i met these two ladies in austin that travel around the world uh listening to stand up they went to see ari in iceland and i think they saw him in the uk too they're like fans of the process of comedy and they said that they were at the the comedy store like a week before when i did a set there and then they came to the shows in austin because that's where they live but they travel around watching comedy and they wanted to talk about the process of it it's really interesting because they'll get to see all these different sets they'll get to see sets where things don't go so great sets we switch it up and think look you'll see that at the comedy store all the time there's people that go there like two or three nights a

118:28week yeah they just they it's it's a rare art form where it one day will be seen by millions right you put it on whatever you're on hulu or itunes or whatever the it is netflix if you're on netflix you're gonna be seen by millions of people like but 150 can watch you practice yeah and the same ones can watch you practice and it's awesome by the way yeah it's awesome like you mentioned watching george st pierre train before or him being coachable i got to watch gsp um training with henzo gracie and john donahue at enzo school in new york city this is when i just started podcasting this is like nine years ago i used to do a show called hammer fisting to give people a that's like watching herschel walker play football or get coach like be on the field with him if you were a fan of football you're like whoa right here i'm talking about like as far as you guys

119:21are for me i'm watching them train i'm watching both of them give him like it was really cool it was a really really cool thing um wait how do we even get there i'm sorry we're talking about him being coachable and him listening and you watched him train with me but how do we even get to the georgetown pier how to get back to there what we were talking about right before that marijuana has pros and cons and here is the car being able to watch it from the like the the training process oh right so yeah with comedy it's like that thank you jamie you you don't get paid enough i don't know what you get paid but it's not enough the the that process was an amazing thing to watch now if i went to it and i paid six hundred dollars for a front row seat and i was like i'm watching a fight right now and i'm watching a george stapier ufc champion fight i would be

120:05vastly disappointed with that experience i would go this isn't this isn't what i'm paying for and i think when people come to comedy clubs they think they're paying for the big fight night the big fight night's the special the big fight nights which you're the album you're recording whatever it is basically everything leading up to that what to a certain degree i think if you're headlining there's a on the road doing an hour there's a certain responsibility they're paying a heavy price ticket for a real show um but they should have a higher they should have at least a little bit of an understanding that they're watching the process and if they understood it they would appreciate it more you would they would go oh i get even though i heard this guy do that joke before i noticed the nuance and i noticed the difference some people some people only want to hear the new but that's

120:44cool too just sit around and wait dice used to just do the hits how cool would that be yeah he used to get they used to get angry if he didn't do the hits like still i think they they start calling out hot pocket and he's like he'll do it he has to i think he has to i think burke chrysler has to tell the machine story still right 30 minute story it's half the hour doesn't he still tell that story i think i'm sure it tells that story i'm sure well people will be mad brett has taken to taking his shirt off in the original room at the comedy store as well it wasn't he would save the shirt off for the main room but now he's taken to the next level so it's he takes his shirt off immediately starbucks takes a shirt they're way too close to them so they all get uncomfortable they're like what are you doing i wish i was comfortable being fat doggie if i if i could be comfortable being fat i

121:29would be so happy because i was a fat kid growing up then i got in really good shape in my mid to late 20s um got started eating right exercising got really into it um and now every winter i get fat every summer i get back in shape and i just yo-yo back and forth damn um it's cold weather life and it's a you're yeah you're right it is because i i don't want to sweat you don't you don't know joe you've never been a fat guy and i don't want to hear this horse or you were fat when you're in your teeth never fat okay you don't know what it's like i don't know walking upstairs and having your you could you could feel your ass sweating you could feel your thighs sticking together it's it's just an uncomfortable life knowing that like if you're eating something in public that there are other people that are health conscious looking at you and judging you and i know that

122:14because i've been on the other side because now when i watch fat people on the subway eating potato chips i'm like even if i'm fat i'm just like ugh put them away what are you doing yeah why are you killing yourself with that nonsense yeah but they probably taste delicious unbelievable in the moment right some barbecue what kind of what is that stuff when you get barbecued chips what is what is barbecue first of all it does not taste like barbecue it has a taste and that taste is barbecued potato chip taste it's not barbecue orange dust whatever the flavor is yeah grape flavor doesn't taste like grapes at all but if someone gives you a piece of grape bubble gum you're like oh this is grape like that doesn't taste like a grape yeah and that's so true yeah that's true so true yeah orange soda that is not orange like what is that this is not the taste of orange at

123:02all this doesn't taste like orange yeah i uh that's dude food it's so bad dude what is barbecue potato chips what the is that taste because that's a weird taste right that does not taste like barbecue it's not i tell you this much it does not grow on the earth whatever it is it's some long words and some scientific sounding that methylalanine mild fiscal pain should not be putting into your body oh there's got to be some trans fats and then too oh come on joe it's 2009. you're allowed to say that somebody realized they transferred still out of state trans fats let's get in there though you can say trans trans is okay you don't don't deviate with new sounds with your face yeah and mean the exact same thing or people get furious yeah trans fats are okay trans fats well he'll get mad at you you say it too much like do you just get off on saying trans is that why you saying trans fats

123:52i'm allowed to talk also have great senses of humor if you've ever hung out a lot of them well every every trans person that i know and i i i'm friends with two that i'm pretty close with um and i know a handful um get it um and uh yeah they have great sense of humor gay people have great sense of humor black people hispanic people all the people all these protected groups have great sense of humor if you go to a black room and do racist jokes what would be deemed as racist jokes by young liberal white people they love it dude they bounce off the walls they're having a blast it's all good jokes yes uh yes but that's just but they're not typically getting offended they'll boo you off stage but they're not going like this person needs to lose their job i'm highly offended by these jokes yeah i don't i never see that i never see a black person or hispanic person

124:43being the one actually complaining about something it's always some annoying white chick some barbecued chip fan yeah what's in that stuff what is barbecue what is that barbecued barbecue flavor like paprika mesquite smoke flavor that's extract garlic powder and the malt dextrose oh mal dextrose that's a sugar right is that some kind of a sugar probably dude it is a weird acceptance the the barbecue chip flavor we accept that flavor it's great but it does not taste like barbecue i never i would never go with barbecue barbecue chips never i'll take them every time barbecue is always sauce it's that thick sauce yeah yes yes yeah there's no sauce on it for sure is sea salt and vinegar yeah if you want some potato chips i'll up some sea salt and vinegar salt and pepper that's good too it's not bad that's good too good salt and vinegar almonds those are these are delicious

125:42yeah um why sea salt why am i so pretentious i want my salt from the ocean i want sea salt i don't know if i could taste the difference could you tell tell the difference with a regular i'd like to know if i can i'm not i can't i bet himalayan salt tastes a little different maybe what do you think probably right probably like a little different you could probably do it you could probably taste the difference between all three of those if you did a blind taste test probably usually i bet i would i would beg to disagree dude if you want to cook a steak especially a rib eye and you don't have kosher salt you don't know what the you're doing you want that thick ass what makes a kosher salt i don't know is it actually kosher jews use magic the jews are praying over it oh jesus weed it's weed joe um they i've killed like at least four laptops on this that's one of the reasons why i switched

126:31to a windows laptop i have a lenovo not just for the best keyboard but also because um the things are waterproof like how does apple not have waterproof computers yeah you spill your coffee on your apple computer that is dead well so the the iphone is not waterproof i've watched five friends go yeah it's waterproof and just dunk it in water and then it goes off bobby kelly did that uh my girlfriend did that we were in jamaica she's like it's waterproof and she starts taking these photos of the waves coming up to the phone so it's like half in the water and a half without and it's just oh my god that's it it's longer resistant yeah water resistant if it's raining it's fine and you make sure you have the one that's water resistant like you might not have you might have an older model yeah like i have an iphone throw the ocean but the laptops they they short

127:20out i've shorted out how many jamie how many have i killed six easily like one every six months at least killed four laptops one time on legion of skanks i was drinking red wine louis j gomez lewis jay vanessa c just lewis j gomez red wine and uh i knocked it over at big j big j just bought a brand new pair of sneakers like 150 sneakers jsj's deep down inside he's trash so he like you know he needs expensive things to make himself feel good um but these were beautiful white sneakers just got them and the wine it literally the entire glass fell into the laptop i mean literally all the liquid disappeared into the laptop right um and one splash just went splat right on the front of his shoe right on the red wine that's it and he couldn't be mad because my 1600 laptop had just been destroyed so he couldn't be like oh my 150 shoes why aren't laptops all waterproof

128:20that's what i'm saying like fix that stupid they do they just want to make a lot of money in repairs is that what that is maybe planned obsolescence they know people are going to be dumb why doesn't apple listen listen folks you got to make better keyboards your keyboards are dog also the volume on the uh the macbook air is garbage what do you say jamie i just saw someone tweet about that today there's like an article someone wrote apple doesn't like or from their stance they don't buy that uh it's a big problem the keyboard issue oh but their keyboard issue is that's a breaking keyboard the keyboards suck even if they work perfectly they suck for writing there's no there's no travel it's a very short travel and they're flat like they don't it doesn't feel good for your hands you don't i think you just get used to it that's stupid it's you shouldn't have to get used to

129:09it like if you like a lenovo keyboard it's so much better today you know what it is though i think their whole thing was apple's sort of butterfly keyboard a personal journey yeah the feel of it right it's so it feels very smooth when you touch it you take it out of the box i'll tell you what it is it's the way it looks they like the fact that it looks really thin and really sleek so they made these keys as shallow as possible so they just click click click so everything's real small and it looks sleek as that's what it is it's not for function if they had a function they'd be like a little dip to the center of the key so your fingers would fit in it normally and there would be some travel because when you have some travel with your keys then your fingers get a better sense of what you're doing and you're more precise you need your hands moving around more

129:53you need better precision it's more precise whether or not you're touching something you get better feedback so you can type better but i show it in like words per minute when they show like people who are like really good typists how many words per minute they can do with a really good keyboard versus a flat shallow keyboard though even experienced like high level typists are way better with like something that has some travel if i try to type on a regular keyboard right now it would feel like it's an alien thing because i'm so used to it now yeah wow i guess you can get used to it but i don't even mean like a regular keyboard like just a like a laptop keyboard doesn't have to be like some crazy ch but just have enough extra travel there's like a number they think it is like 1.5 millimeters or something like that and they would like like anything between 1.5 and 2

130:39millimeters is good you get that travel and you get a feeling of it yeah and it's a lot of feedback anything shorter than that is bad so you're saying it's actually a better writing experience it's easier it's easier to write like your fingers find the keys better i'm not a good typer but i'm half decent i don't look at the keys 1967. i've been loved doing those uh i did those mavis based bacon teaches typing i did all those little courses where it's like a game that you play okay you ever seen it no oh it's kind of it's really cool like uh like they make it like a little game like things will go across the screen and you have to type it with your finger and it shows you like a map of where your hands are in relationship to the keys and it shows you like where you should move your fingers and then there's something will pop up and you're like oh that's an l here's an l yeah and

131:23you'll start doing this and as you're doing this you get better and better and then they ask you to start forming sentences and after a while you get like a really good sense of where the keys are yeah i almost felt that game guitar hero they should have made it with like a real guitar because i feel like they can teach people guitar if they made it a game where they just started you just sort of like have to hit those beats and then your finger starts getting used to it um i was jamie i was in typing class in this in the 16th thing i just discovered it's called tap like these little sensors you put on your fingers and you tap little gestures and it types for you so you don't need it you don't need a keyboard anymore what in the holy i don't know if it would be useful i don't know if you'd like it i don't know if you could get used to it it'd actually

132:05be better but it's gonna suck right now can you show me in five years looks like it's gonna be goddamn garbage right now the technology sucks this is a tom cruise movie look at this this guy moving this stuff around with his fingers this is insane could be cool i mean you might you want tactile feedback i'm sure but like this they could add a little bit of a vibration maybe and that could be enough i don't know look it's entirely possible that these typers if you left them alone with one of those shallow keyboards eventually they could get used to it and they would put their their you know numbers of words per minute just back up to where it was before but for me it's just an easier experience i don't use any of the this the new technology like alexa or those things that is listening always oh yeah oh it's crazy it's over whatever i've sort of given up like all right

132:54guys you have an online profile everything i i type in is online everything we say it's being picked up stores are eventually going to have just alexa and their own versions of whatever that is where you just say it into the air and it's all listening and it's all going into a database and you know i i eventually i think what they're going to do is they're going to have uh the technology to like go through podcasts and find the no-no words they'll have an algorithm to go back and start listening to what you're not supposed to say start kicking old content off the internet that's that's that's very close on the way guaranteed i'm sure yeah we're in the middle of a hurricane of new technology yeah i mean it's going to be really really interesting to see what these i mean the guy's wearing virtual reality goggles typing on his arm yeah what moving things around some

133:43virtual desktop that's like straight out of a futuristic film right i uh i'm interested to see where it's gonna go that's minority report right i mean minority report they didn't have glasses they just did it on the screen and we were like that is insane that is insane but that's like you know windows 13 or something yeah it's actually not impressive anyway what you watch minority report now you're like okay it's a touch screen yeah you needed all those um those psychics yeah we need to yeah if you have psychics that can predict crimes and what in the kind of weird body slavery was that psychics strapped into a tub all day like what was that is that what they want yeah how do they not see this coming that they're gonna get roped into being covered in milk and left in that pool what the was that that was a weird that's a weird movie right like they needed those people to

134:34figure out crime right isn't that how they did it that was the idea but you didn't have free will anymore like the idea that those people are like i forget were they special like like x-men type people they have cognition abilities yeah they had magic powers but you would the yeah i guess the they were the things well why wouldn't you go to this guy and say don't commit the crime and then the date passes he doesn't give it the crime and you yeah say hey man i know you're gonna go rob this bank and it's really gonna up your life and everybody else's life so don't go robbing the bank so i have to get in a shootout with the cops yeah there you go i was trying to find this little quick little video have you seen this ah come on what the is barbecue potato flavor seriously new amazon store i don't know if these are fully out yet but this is the way it's gonna work like this guy

135:16walks in he scans his phone on like basically like a turnstile like you're walking into a subway that sort of lets the store know you're there yeah and you don't pay for anything oh you watch what you want to walk out boom it sort of knows what you want and charges you off your account and this is what's going to happen for everyone that wants a minimum wage raised this is coming guys nobody's gonna be working in these places this is weird they're gonna eliminate shoplifting this is a weird looking everything in plastic like that freaks me out i feel like we're in a movie there's a couple grocery stores like that here already i don't know if you've seen that well at the airport you don't you don't even deal with people anymore you just go up and you pick it up and you scan it out yourself well um andrew yang who's running for president on this universal basic income idea

136:02is uh one of the things he's doing this for is to educate people the fact that all these jobs are going away automation is going to take over many many millions of jobs in this country and we have to be prepared for all these people essentially being you know uh technologies remove them from the workforce they don't they're not needed anymore so then they have to figure out you know what do i do next and then universal basic income he thinks would be the bridge what is universal basically the idea is you get a certain amount of money for free to live yeah and i don't know how it works i'm not an economist i'm a all right i am i'm not smart yeah i don't understand the numbers i don't get if he's right or if he's wrong i'm not the guy and i don't have the time i'm not going to invest in it but it's a debate and the debate is if this is coming what do you do about

136:51it it's not whether or not it's coming it's pretty pretty likely that it's coming oh yeah it's pretty likely that all these people are going to be out of work automation's going to take over for driving it's going to take over a lot of taco bell right now there's you don't have to you do not order from a human being you type it into a kiosk they send it over and to be honest with you it's a better experience damn it's better it's cheaper and better so at what point do you go like i'm not like look i'm that's fine you know i understand there's some kid who lost his taco bell job but if it's a better way and it's a better experience for the customer who's spending money um yeah i get it man the thing is it's happening so fast people aren't going to be prepared for it they're going to think that a certain amount of jobs is going to be available and then a vast

137:29number of those are not going to be around anymore so his idea is the way you bridge the gap is you give people something that meets their needs like your need for food and shelter just give them enough so that they everything else they make they get to keep it's theirs and let them give them like a boost and the idea is that doing this would save money long term in a bunch of different ways it's all it's a lot of it's theory do i pay less in taxes with this question if that's the case then i'm all for it that is it always that though like here's the thing we never know we don't get an audit of where our taxes go right we don't have no idea i have no idea where the it goes right it was distributed but throughout if it went and you knew that it made an impact it really did make a difference and like you knew that the people that are taking your time there's no waste

138:16and they're really trying to make the world a better place oh yeah but they just like a little bit of your money you'd be like okay you're trying to make the world a better place like clearly these people are making the world a better place yeah if you knew that for sure and you felt that for sure you're like i like the attitude behind this is very community oriented we're going to fix the united states here take some of them that'd be great but it's not that but then try to give us this money try to go get renewed uh over the phone and see the amount of people you have to talk to the amount of times you get hung up on the amount of times you have to call back and you realize there's all of these wasted jobs all these people that don't need to be there and it's to be honest with you everyone is sort of protecting that there's like an entire industry of people that work

138:5445 minutes per day and they like it that way they don't want to have any type of real passion this is what they do um so yeah everyone sort of this i watch in the entertainment industry all the time like we we create these shows and we do these things and you know you guys have a very popular show um if this was a studio run show if this was run by abc joe rogan experience change nothing if they what you know what they would do there'd be literally 20 people behind cameras right now clipboards there'd be people on walkie-talkies there'd be headsets all of these jobs that don't need to be there guaranteed have you ever gone to one of the there's a lot of studios in la where it's like just sort of corporate run podcast studios yeah there's ten people behind the camera you're like what are you doing i did bill simmons hbo show really nice guy yeah you know he has

139:38that big podcast i i don't know it now you know right jamie yeah um and i was uh we basically did a podcast just with cameras and but there was like 30 people there yep but there are all these people that are doing this and that and like every other studio job yeah and who's stepping up nobody stepped up going hey guys i'm not really needed here just so you know i'm going to dip out way more there's union gigs too by the way like if you want to have lighting and you want to have cameras you have to use these guys and this is how even if you don't need them you would have to use it it's it's interesting like and on one hand for the longest time i think um people uh didn't have as many opportunities you know you you really if you wanted to do something no matter what it would be whether it's a television show or you want to be a host of a talk show or whatever the it

140:27was there's not that many paths there's only like a couple of avenues there's only a few channels there's only a few slots ever right for those shows but now it's not the case anymore man yeah it's just not the case there's a million different channels and if you get roped into that old mentality like there's still a few of those old vampires that cling to that old system yeah and they they would rather you come do it on television and they'll chop it up every 15 minutes and put a big factor it's crazy because i was on siriusxm for a while doing a show and it's just like why are you they fired apollo and they said you're out of here yeah they did he tweeted some crazy that you did if you've got a corporate job you can't tweet crazy apologies it was me and bisping and bisping kept on just not showing up he was like done with it basically and uh they tried to match me up with

141:21like some football player and i was like me and bespoke just gonna start a podcast and now we're doing literally 50 times as good i mean of course i mean it's not even close but it's they have all these there's three producers in the studio we have it's just all of like the the like the spirit and the fun part and the entertaining part of it is sort of sucked out of it you have very specific segments and it's regimented and your producers have to know exactly where you're going with the next thing you're like though we're not going to get anywhere cool or interesting if we're this regimented yeah if we're if you're not allowing us to sort of play you're not going to really and this is why i think you know radio is is getting destroyed by podcasts right now um every you see sirius xm now they're going we gotta start a podcast not work they're starting their own podcasts now oh you

142:06know they did they bought pandora did they yeah yeah i think so is that true i believe it's a partnership yeah i think i heard something like that as well purchase or something like that interesting yeah and uh hmm it's modifies with hulu now i just got an email about that you get a free hulu subscription with your spotify it's all crazy they're also they don't know what to do now they're like podcasting that's the thing so they're just throwing so much money at all of these companies they're buying companies for like hundreds of millions of dollars 230 million dollars they just bought one another company 130 million it feels like one of those early day tech boom things yeah everybody's just like going crazy and spending all this money he's like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa okay what are you doing why spend that much money how could you possibly by the way the

142:54company they bought is just an idea i mean what is it really it's like we have this idea for this app and me you know me and my partner we have we have our own podcast network called guest digital and we've been practicing what they're doing like we you know we have premium content that we have on the app and the website people have to pay for some of you all of the podcasts are free the latest 15 are free on youtube and itunes and then the on-demand library is a premium with uh ad free as a premium so we we insert the ads after the fact um uncensored they get like a three or four day pre-release on the episode so there's all these benefits for becoming a premium member and you know a certain percentage of people subscribe to the network for the premium stuff um which is great but we've been putting this into practice for years now and now we're watching these companies get

143:39whatever 230 million dollars we're like huh yeah you guys are disgusting like you guys no we can't it's over no one's going to pay for that they're going to be connected with you you guys get too crazy you're 100 right you don't but that's the beautiful thing it's like you don't really need that no i don't want it if somebody put 230 million dollars into my company right now we would have bosses we would be told we can't say that like are you crazy did you guys just did you guys just have a bill cosby rape victim beauty pageant on legion of skanks did that actually just happen which did that was a great episode guys go check it out um we i mean it gets we see that's ridiculous yeah but the point is that these companies um it's they're showing that they're understanding there's something going on with the podcasting world they're just throwing a lot of money off course i

144:25mean look if they're buying really good companies they're making really good podcasts i'm happy i love podcasts i love listening to them i hope they do well but it's just shocking and obviously i'm not a business person so maybe there's some you're very much a business person to it i'm not though maybe there's some sort of a grand plan maybe there's like some sort of a podcast battle going on between like apple and spotify and streaming services well people are doing premium too where they're buying out podcasts and they're only putting it on where you have to be a subscriber for spotify or whatever else it is which is strange because type yeah this the podcasts grow by sharing you have to be able to share them you know you people have to be able to download it for free they fall in love with the content and then that's that they'll come buy a ticket they'll buy a t-shirt whatever it is

145:11um so i think it's a little bit i think it's a little counterintuitive i don't think it's a good idea to hide podcasts behind a paywall i wonder what they're going to try to do see spotify doesn't have to hide anything behind a paywall but there are some companies that are trying to do something behind a paywall and they're paying for a bunch of different uh podcasts and they're gonna launch it like like us like a network yeah yeah i mean i mean cumin does that a little bit with uh compound media yeah we were on his network for a while we were the first show um booked to his network and i think it's a mistake and i love anthony and i told him this i offered to go work with anthony when he first heard the network um i think that he should do what we do if anthony put out his shows free he would be constantly discovered by new people and then it's figuring out how to

145:58get a higher percentage of people to subscribe to your premium content and you will consider con continue to grow that number and it's just it's just literally every time we do a podcast there's x amount of new listeners that are discovering it for the first time so you have sort of another opportunity if people aren't discovering your podcast it's an issue um but i think they did start doing some free episodes on compound yeah they put free ones up occasionally look he's a really brilliant guy he's a fun dude too he's one of the funniest crazy one of the funniest people period i love broadcasting with anthony it's a legend it's a legend i mean you know you know i i didn't even grow up on opiate anthony i i never listened to hoping anthony once in my entire life until after i knew anthony and i started listening back to old with like patrice and norton's

146:40great i'm friends with norton dude when they were all on together those are some of the best episodes ever you know patrice norton and anthony just going crazy about things yeah great show man yeah they that opium anthony taught me how to do a podcast in a lot of ways i've heard you say that because it was like a hang on i was like oh it doesn't have to be that structured where someone's got like a list of questions and they're rattling it off like that's not fun yeah like a hang is fun you know even when it goes bad it's funny that's the best that's what opi and anthony figured out which was great it's like when it's bad it's even better yeah because when somebody bombs or there's a joke doesn't go well then the entire room just smashes them and you do people don't know i don't ever told a joke that didn't go well in a room with people it's awful and then have the best

147:25comics in the world start trashing you live on air while millions of people are listening around the country oh my god dude it's so good it also enforced the camaraderie uh between comedians in in like that kind of a form we'd all get together and see like you'd meet a bunch of different comics at the show too you meet guys from other like you might be sitting in with some comic from philly right you know you get to know people that way yeah that they did that for sure that like uh that that that definitely like uh it enforced it a little bit you know yeah i mean once again you know you're sort of having three or four people that are really smart that are good at radio good at broadcasting as well um be able to react in real time you're going to get these things you couldn't get it anywhere else you know it's it's such a uh yeah and those guys were some of the best at it um you know

148:15the whole uh the whole way it went down you know at the end of it kind of sucked well really it's the this is it's not just the birth of podcasting because of that it's for a couple reasons opi and anthony in my opinion are like the birth of podcasting one of them was anthony built his own studio in his basement yeah where he would do karaoke holding a machine gun crazy compound you know his logo was it looked like a swastika from afar no i swear to god he's a psycho like anthony stop leaning in to the white supremacist stuff i'm trying to be friends with you do you think he's doing it for uh he he's in honor that's funny he thinks it's funny but he's also a 60 year old italian guy from long island what does it look like it's vibrating heavy what is happening the hardest vibration i've felt in the long term if you talk to most six-year-old italian men in long island they're going to have

149:02some fairly controversial views on race and politics in the country and you know i think he when he left siriusxm he leaned a little bit too much into the political side and he sort of got you know now he's pegged as like a right-wing guy but i'm a puerto rican kid who was right i think he's definitely right-wing but he is right-wing but i'm just saying i don't think that i don't that's not what i look at when i broadcast with anthony i don't talk about politics right we just talk about whatever we talk about stupid barbecue potato chips well he'll talk to you about anything but he'll talk about politics too he's not a dumb guy he's not a very smart guy he's just crazy he's fun you know i mean look it's not perfect no one is yeah i just also i don't look at people that um number one i don't give a about it about what anybody's political views are i would never hang out with somebody or

149:48not hang out with them based off of what their political views are if that is their entire identity then it becomes an issue because then you're probably an issue to them right now so many people are to so many people unnecessarily yeah so much there's so much unnecessary conflict you know i mean some of it's good but some of it's just not you can be friends with people you don't agree me and nick apollo disagree with like 75 percent of i love the guy i always love hanging out with him we've i've known him forever i never never like never do i say god it's nick again i love it when he gets mad about damn well you don't know what obama did yeah it's great he loves it he's honest he's on that uh cameo website and you could just pay him to trash your liberal friends oh that's funny it's so funny and he'll just like i was like what are you like hillary you is in his kitchen yeah it's great

150:43wife beat her on yeah um but look patrice you know i remember i i watched my son my son's mother was in labor for 30 hours crazy long labor overnight or the next morning she's like lying down he's like in the little other room or whatever and i'm watching like a fan-made patrice o'neill documentary and he's just saying like the most heinous about how women aren't and about how a you know she needs you and i just watched my son's mother push my son out of her for 30 hours it was i mean the whole experience was so mind-blowing and in my mind i'm going i could never in a million years do what she just did i had this whole other appreciation for what a woman is it's like a it blows your mind when you got kids and then patrice is up there just this big fat black guy saying horseshit because he he's but it's the funniest on the planet yeah the absolute funny on the planet and

151:35you can laugh at it you don't have to get mad at it i don't agree with half the most of the that he says all that i look dude i i'm an idiot i don't look at i don't i don't go after women that are below me i like to go after women that are above me and that sort of elevate me make me want to be better i think that's it's a little check and balance system i haven't for myself you know um but you don't have to be so connected to whatever the message is you can literally take it for face value which is it's just really funny like undeniably funny yeah he was a monster and he also he had points really good psychological insight he knew what made people tick he knew what made people say stupid he knew it made people stumble he's a he was a master at uh understanding like how to get off controversial ideas yeah you know he was but his his contribution for a lot of us was uh and he had an

152:27extra level of i don't give a you know like you would see it on roasts he would he'd you know he'd roast and he was like like i don't even know why i'm up here not even on my level yeah it was uh charlie sheen yes yeah charlie sheen rose again he just went off script he threw the paper and he was just that was brilliant he murdered he's a killer man and he only did that one because he i guess he agreed because he said that was the only guy that he was interested in roasting was like i'm not doing it for the paycheck charlie sheen's a g yeah um well it was just that he's you know he would he just had this don't give a style yeah and we all like we all i think i can be speaking for myself i appreciate i don't give a style more than any other style of comedy for me my favorite was like first of all joey diaz but then when you go back to the greats like kennison and

153:18hicks and those guys didn't give a yeah they went out they went off and it was the most fun to watch as a person who was an audience member for me was the most fun to watch i agree and i think you know that's that's the that agrees we grew up on that and then society changes and i'm like no dude i've been i've been working on this for so long please let me i have to change my entire like foundation of what i think is funny now because and it's almost not and that's why i think guys like legion of skanks and the special did you guys name it legis gangs me and big j okay so big j would constantly cheat on his wife and uh it was like a regular occurrence and she knew it and everyone knew it and one time we were there and we were hanging out we were about to leave there were an argument and she's like you why don't you go hang out with your legion of skanks

154:03and me and big j we were both playing guitar hero at the time that was like a big game at the time when we both looked at each other we were like guitar hero name and that's what we named our band initially in guitar hero was legion of skanks and then we're not that creative so we wrote a script how long ago was this probably 10 years ago 10 years ago 10 years ago the name and then that was the guitar hero band maybe even more probably more yeah actually way more because it was right when me and big j became friends um yeah legion of skanks is a great name it's probably one of the all-time greatest names of anything right you stop and think about like bands or television legion of skanks that is a great thank you thank you great name yeah well i gotta give it a big check cause he recognized it immediately and then every project we ever did since then has been named

154:47legion of skanks until the podcast worked it's a good move yeah and it uh yeah it's you know people know what they're getting they get it dude they they get it and to be honest with you people people want that type of humor that's the other thing is like it's the new alternative um is like dirty edgier ballsy well it's what we were talking about earlier look if you like punk rock you should be able to listen to punk rock but if you like the kind of comedy that some people like aggressive like outlandish comedy you're like if that's what you like then you should be able to enjoy it or not it's up to you it's like you don't have to like it you don't have to listen you have to watch it's not that it makes you immune from criticism if people don't like it but you know it's everybody's got different tastes that's it and and to be honest with you if i wanted to sit here and deconstruct

155:37everything that could trigger me in life i'm just not a i don't i don't sit here and i'm triggered every moment by the the amount of that i've seen in my life everything triggers me everything triggers me and every movie that i watch is if there's some up scene i can go oh that reminds me of some up um but you have to appreciate those things don't you sort of want sort of everything to be represented and and even with comedy when you look at things like rape jokes is like a big no-no topic right you can't do rape jokes anymore and i understand you know right which one well i can't say it because you're going to put it on a special i'm sure he is well i'll tell you about it afterwards that's actually the first time i met you by the way i was open in montreal like years ago you remember it right honey moon's at that little place the comedy works yeah yeah yeah yeah jimbo's joint yep

156:27it's a great little spot man but yeah yes rape jokes will work um i closed my eyes especially with a 10-minute rape joke how dare you and how dare you try to pass out off to america but um the um i can't do the bit but the bit's excellent remind me and i'll tell you off because it's one of those premises like once you say the premise it ruins it yeah so you have to it has to be a very high level but the woman in the crowd who was raped a month ago and was like i'm going to go out i'm going to go to comedy club to feel better she's not wrong if she's triggered but she becomes wrong when she tries to take away the experience from other people you have to walk away and you have every right and i feel bad i've had girls come up to me after shows and be like hey just so you know that really bothers me this is why right and it's a some rape joke or whatever it is right

157:14how many rape jokes you got at least 70 of my act um i do i really no i'd say no i do close my act with a 10-minute rape joke yeah you just said that but i mean how many rape jokes like overall do you have how many times i say the rape or is it no like bits i mean really just that one rape it's a long bit though so it's a lot of jokes within it and i'm being raped in the joke most of the time okay so that's you know i think that's why it's a guy being raped it helps but i you know i don't want i don't want to ruin the bid either but i think you have to um i respect the fact that people can be triggered but it's a very strange thing to me because for me i'm always trying to find something really funny from this dark right whether it's a personal experience or whatever it is and the way we're looking at us comics is we're trying to find something really

158:06positive out of something really shitty and then you have like a movie which is just maybe it's a up scene there's nothing i mean look it's it's a positive content to one person talking yeah you know it's a scene you're watching people act out a scene you're right there's something very personal about one person talking that's why this is i mean it's not this is how some people would look at it like you should talk about things that you really care about while you're doing that because you only have a certain amount of time to do it you know and some sometimes yeah sometimes sometimes you you have a bit that's just not worth it you know like the way people react to it just like yeah even though you have a point it's like even working this bit out people getting so upset it's almost not worth it no it has to be a net positive the crowd has to be laughing so there's no you know a monkey

158:59i will defend somebody's right to tell a shitty joke you know what i'm saying but at the same time i understand if as a performer you have to gauge the audience and put your finger in the air and go okay which way is the wind blowing right now the reality is you can't say things you used to say you can't say on stage anymore in a crowd in new york or l.a you can't say that word the crowd will tighten up and shut down you'll ruin the rest of whatever that joke is so it's it's obviously i haven't seen diaz recently maybe they say packing a lot he'll say whatever he wants he's awesome he'll say whatever he wants but i got a point i oh i have a you know i have a joke about you know my uh my dog and i used to say my dog because he's looking another male dog's in the joke and uh and people would shut down at that word and it's really to be honest with you new york and l.a that's where the

159:45biggest live um the rest of the country is cool if you go anywhere else they don't really give a about words like that but in new york in l.a it's become a particularly hard thing to you know there's certain words and certain things it's not even the content necessarily it's just those words that sort of set people's sensors off well there's always going to be a bunch of words like that what's really interesting is what does happen when you stop people from saying it because it's kind of counterintuitive because those words become these forbidden words these things give them more words they have so much more power if you don't and i don't just i just don't think you ever get to tell people that you can't say certain words they used to be able to say all the time you know i mean the idea behind those words is still the same like if you say to someone you shouldn't say

160:31anymore even though that used to be like a term they would use for things being slower like their growth being slower their growth was but now if you even use it as a technical term like in in the growth was people will get upset at you don't use that anymore now that's a forbidden sound even if it doesn't mean what they think it means we're talking about a person with down syndrome they don't like hearing the r word yeah you you talked about in your special i thought was a great bit where you're like just these sounds from your face like what do we yeah what are we doing it's just you're making these different sounds with your mouth so you're yeah it's just sounds well it's a it's a byproduct of speech being a shitty way to really clearly convey intent and that's why when someone is good at speaking their mind we kind of get uh we get a real sense of

161:18we enjoy it someone's good at speaking their mind but if someone sucks at speaking their mind you know if they're if they're they're clunky at it then it's not enjoyable yeah yeah i agree um and there's too many people that there's no barrier of entry and we're exposed to a lot of horseshit very quickly now whereas like i think back in the day comedians had time to grow in a club you know look at bob saggett right bob zack it was like a dirty filthy comic who ended up getting on the cleanest television show ever right the dad you know danny tanner was you know but then you if there was cell phones out back then he would have never gotten that gig well i think he stopped doing stand-up for a long time because of that too right yeah i think i don't think he did stand up while he was doing that show i might be wrong but if he did do it maybe he did like a an abridged yeah you know

162:11pg-13 version or something yeah you know like if i don't know man it's is it worth it you know is it worth it censoring i mean i think one day it seems like the more time goes on the more words they're sneaking into network television you hear like and every now and then i think i think you're allowed to say and on a network show now yeah there was like a big episode once i don't think you could say in my though no you can't say that yeah that's just too you can call somebody a dick but you can't refer to your dick that's the idea right yeah yeah yeah you can call someone a i think even too which is weird you know that one's on the way out yeah that's okay well now that's become a thing where you're you're feminizing a man and now that's offensive to women you now i'm calling my buddy a and you get to take the offense on that that's some crazy woman that's actually right

163:05there that's how crazy women are it's not how crazy women are it's how crazy some women are it's like like some men are crazy too you're just dealing with a giant number of people but if people find a little thing where they can pick on it and go after it like that yeah i don't know there's nothing there's no it's very funny to me there's no words feminizing that could possibly offend me that could ever right you know well some people are just looking for it man right i don't actually believe they're offended though no i don't think so i think it's like you know when you see like uh like a puerto rican kid get himself worked up in a fight where he's like what what do you say what do you say and he starts to like have to psychologically get himself into this brawl that's what i think people do online all day they stoke themselves up and they don't really care nobody

163:53actually if they really gave a they would go out and do something well i think a lot of them do care but they're just expressing it on twitter or on you know facebook or whatever they're doing i think a lot of them do care but i think that it's fake caring it's too easy to pretend to care now that's the problem back in the day you enjoy the conflict they enjoy it you think so i feel shitty i feel so gross inside when i go back and forth to somebody we were talking about that before yeah you feel shitty i don't and and i deal with it a lot being an entertainer so i'd imagine when people deal with back and forth online that it's sort of a shitty feeling they don't necessarily want that they sort of want the accolades for their opinions they do they want that but they also it's addictive this the conflict is addictive it's like you're almost like you're playing a game you know you're saying

164:40something shitty to them and this they're saying say something back to you shitty and then they insult you and you insult them and you post a google article that refutes their google article but it's conflict you know and some look you can get the you can serum diplomacy is that the right word yeah serendipitously um you could stumble across some brilliant piece of something on on twitter and you definitely can learn something and you definitely get some information happens all the time you can also get sucked into some abortion debate that eats your life for the next seven days yeah and you start trying to figure out who's right or who's wrong and what what position to take abortion is one of the most human subjects in that humans are so we're so weird in so many ways we're so unusual and irregular and we don't we're inconsistent in a lot of the ways

165:40we look at things but the abortion one is a crazy one you're literally talking about stopping a human life while it's inside of a person and then you're you're talking about whether or not you have the decision to tell someone that they can stop a life inside of their body and everybody's like that's not what it is that's not people like try to redefine it in some strange way like no no no it's a woman's choice it is it is a woman's choice but what is it a woman's choice to do yeah to decide whether or not a life stays in her body and becomes a person or not and when do you get to decide when a person this is not a simple clean thing it's a simple clean thing in my terms in my mind in terms of what i'm able to tell anybody what to do yeah and i wouldn't want to but if you just look as a human if someone is having an abortion and the baby is a healthy baby that's pretty close to

166:32being born and like when is it okay i think every most people think it's okay with there's like two cells right there's only two cells or four cells or and they start dividing but at one point in time there's a line where you it's funny it's it's just one side of the woman's body and also you think about this like whatever that line is everyone right let's say your pro choice you have a line where one second ago it wasn't okay but this in this exact second it is okay right which is sort of crazy in itself you know so it's like it's crazy in terms of if you talk about a late term abortion well that's just nice yeah how late is this like what are we saying i mean and this is a this is a terrifying thing for people this this idea that we can make these decisions and rationalize them and decide for a person whether or not they should have to raise a child or whether they can stop it

167:21because it hasn't seen air yet it's such a uh and you you it changes once you have a kid it changes everything because i saw my kids heartbeat every puerto rican instinct i had to have a baby kicked in i was like we're having this baby that's that because when we went to the doctor we weren't 100 positive we were going to keep my son it was it was a debate much more on her end i was that it really is latinos we just want to spread our seed because i really i just uh she got pregnant and that was that and then i saw the heartbeat and i was like that's a baby right there i'm watching it's just a little flickering on a screen but i was like what do you want me to say that's a heartbeat yeah um however you know there's a lot of there's a there's some crazy i already said also there's a lot of religious stuff attached to it you know people don't want anybody to enforce their own

168:08religious beliefs as what abortion is you know and especially when you're dealing with something that's like just a week two weeks whatever it is when they like people think of it as just a cluster of cells like why is that so bad to stop this in its tracks i mean by the way i also think of it as a cluster of cells and if i had to put myself into a category i would put myself into the pro-choice category um i think we need to decide for first of all men can't get pregnant if men can get pregnant i used to have a joke about that uh you'd you'd be able to get an abortion on your phone literally it'd be an app i used to have this bit about it because it's true if men men were like well they had a cold we'd pull out your phone go this kid i'm not having a kid it's too annoying not dealing with it yeah it's not that we should be able to tell a woman whether or not she can or she

168:56can't do it it's just looking at it for what it actually is i don't think we have any right to tell a woman what you can or can't do but looking at it for what it is it's i mean it is not a clean thing it's a strange thing and it's why i say it's one of the most human things yeah because it's uh it's what even other animals don't have that choice yeah you can't deny it i had a cat when i was 11 and uh it was just we were garbage so she like her son so she had a bunch of cats with back backwards legs and i watched my cat eat those kittens so it's yeah it's pretty human the debate it would have been a conversation with humans yeah i've seen that um that animals do that i had a hamster that did that once she ate her babies and we were like what the we looked like i guess she's pro-choice this hamster no she's that's not pro-choice right she has a choice to eat their babies um

169:52she carved a hole out of this baby's head and she was chewing on it we looked in i never thought of that hamster the same way again like that is a pretty rat that dirty little thing killed its babies yeah what in the hell they get some sort of a disease apparently and uh if they get that disease they'll often just kill their babies hamsters that's a regular dude it was rough we were little too we were like six seven you know sister we're like that's an awful way to learn about death see these things eat their babies we were so happy that they had babies like oh my god it's going to be a cute little thing by the way baby hamsters are the they look like little fingers they're just cute and pink and they're just their eyes are closed and yeah it's like wet tail i think is the disease i think that's what it was called yeah turned out she had yeah you know i

170:39don't remember where we got her pet store or some yeah i don't any of those pets i don't know i'm not a pet guy as it is i'm looking up an article about it and it just says that like especially in first-time mothers stress and fear associated with rearing the babies can be too much to handle i don't get it so she just kills them all jesus i don't know if that's right but that's what this article is that's hamsters yeah it's just about hamsters it happens a lot with animals dogs cats they kill their babies they eat them sometimes the most up one is bears because bears they'll go into dens looking for babies they've got other babies oh yeah well the predators you watch those predator shows we're like you know a bunch of hyenas they're always looking for like a baby cantaloupe yeah but baby bears like bears eat bears oh bears eat bears yeah cannibals they eat little cubs ah eat the out of

171:31i know that's sad and bear death seems pretty horrific i never even saw that movie uh the remnant man no uh another uh the revenant where like apparently it's the most brutal scene there's a fake one you gotta see grizzly man they have the video from getting eaten no no no no grizzly man disappears a gay guy that moves to alaska to uh to save the bears and one of them eats them and his girlfriend it is a crazy film yeah it's a werner herzog documentary it's unintentional comedy i mean it's i i think the way it's edited he had to know there's a certain point in time where it's like obvious comedic timing right he edited it seemed like a lot of it was tongue-in-cheek but it's about a really crazy guy timothy treadwell who was lived with the bears for like hundreds and hundreds of days yeah and had all this video footage of him like really close to big giant

172:17grizzly bears i know the story and it was like eventually ate them yeah it became a sort of a meme they'll do that eventually you're gonna run into a bear that's like hey you know what delete the out of you dude yeah that's a great documentary i'd love to watch it i um bears eat their cubs there's uh there's video of there's maybe a guy at like a russian zoo who jumps into the bear cage and there's just video of this bear eating this man and it's just it looks it looks every bit like the most horrible thing in the world like that is the way that i don't want to go you always talk about how would you want to go it's like i know how i don't want to go it's being eaten alive by a bear because they will eat you guts first you know you'll still be alive they'll be tearing your guts apart yeah they're so big like a grizzly a grizzly bear we don't even understand how big that is

173:06it's like a 900 pound super dog you know not imagine a 900 pound dog that wants to kill you that's a bear i get very scared because you you know i know you run with your dog in the hills have you uh gotta look out for cats yeah like cougars and have you had to deal with any of that no i always run with a knife though just in case you heard the story about the guy because it was the rumor a couple years ago about how you choked out a cougar or whatever was like a mountain lion and that was the guy who did it in colorado yeah he killed him one yeah i was a baby yeah brian cowan and brendan shaw were all over that guy they called it a long time ago they called it like was saying it was 85 pounds and i was saying i heard he was 85 pounds and then jamie googled it and he found 35 pounds and i was like well that's not as impressive yeah and then now they're saying it was like it still

173:55him up though the cat's still like he was so shocked yeah isn't it crazy that a baby cat would think that it could kill a grown person imagine being something that cocky like you with your face running up to like a giraffe and going oh i got this thing i'm just gonna jump on that trap i could kill a giraffe you think so i don't think you could you don't think so oh jesus christ this bear's just mauling this guy did it kill him that was khabib's former training partner jesus christ it doesn't always go well oh my god it's tearing them apart okay stop jamie stop this did the guy die must have yeah that doesn't look like it's going to end well he lived wow oh my god bear's probably never killed anything before probably just been eating meat that they gave it to he's probably what do i do with you yeah he's just bad at killing so he's just doing it longer and more painfully like

174:42being stabbed with a butter knife he said his condition yesterday was said to be comfortable oh okay i had that spearhead and leg injuries yeah but he's got a story now he'll go on tour yeah this is a badass i guess you think so yeah yeah there'd be yeah if the a bear attack happens this guy's prepared to start going through it it's not going to freeze in his tracks burke chrysler had that story that'd be a whole other special it would be another 45 minutes the machine versus the bear yeah the machine versus the bear i can see it now he might have to write something for you dude we got to wrap this up it's uh 3 00 yeah that was fun so tell people one more time where they can get your special uh you can get ever itunes google play amazon and uh directly from our website gas digitalnetwork.com and you are is it gomez comedy on instagram gomez's comment instagram blue

175:32shiny amazon twitter um yeah listen to the pods i get a few pods they do one with bisping as well i'll call it believe me i believe you move right all right beautiful man always good brother my brother thank you thanks bye everybody that's fun dude