Ron Funches

00:00thing of difference I'm learning between when I do comedy and acting is that like the last thing people really want to see from Allah stage is you really get emotional yeah you know but when you act you have to go to that right away big difference we're live is it working Oh My Jesus a candid moment no I think you're totally right we're Ron Funches and I were talking about people getting mad first of all welcome to the show stank they're having being here man appreciate we're talking about people getting him getting emotional onstage if people get angry onstage that it shows the audience can feel it you could say the exact same words and with with like a fake anger as we were saying like Brody was really good at like he'd he would fake be mad at you yeah it was Lilith black yes if you can see those exact same words there's like a smile to it right you were saying that

00:52there's a nod or a hint hint of a nod yeah there's a little wink that lets you know that this isn't this is a joke I'm not really this mad but and there's it usually an absurdity about the thing they're mad at yes you know yeah you get we also see those sets sometimes when like someone's recently broken up with somebody and you like you get that real anger and you could say something funny but like it's too fresh it's too real and people just don't want to hear it what here and it makes them feel uncomfortable we were talking about how weird it is that you could actually have something that sounded so similar to that but we could tell the difference like with the exact same words you know with enthusiasm just something's off about it something's off about that you know it's funny versus something's off about it what you know that person's serious and a person

01:45like I was we were just saying try to explain that to someone who doesn't understand English or doesn't understand human communication they'll be like what yeah how can you tell like how do you know it's fake Hucky Joseph a Kanger yeah that's what makes I mean the language so fun yeah it's not just about the words it's about the intent behind the word yes in body language and posture and then what makes comedy so deep you know oh for sure yeah I mean they're what we're trying to do is convey intent and we're trying to figure out a way to sneak ideas into your head where maybe you didn't see the punch line comment yeah it's a it's a very strange art form like what one of the strangest ever because it's a I've always said it's almost like a form of mass hypnosis do you feel that sometimes like in your middle a set and you're in the groove yeah a lot of ways one of them isn't good I

02:43mean you're a weird guy but when I first started my acting class I was talking about that with my acting coach and I'd be like there's a point like if my sets really going well where I'm in the present moment of enjoying the set and saying these words but at the same time I'm in the future thinking about what's coming next I'm surveying everything that's going around me and I'm also still kind of like judging myself off of what just happened and so this thing happens where you're kind of like time traveling in a way where you don't exist in any one space of time you you just kind of like remove yourself from that and when your sets going really well that's the thing that my girlfriend and I have talked about it's that you can hear these sets and hear these jokes you can see someone says multiple time but they're really good often times you don't remember the

03:39joke like how many times people go back and quote a joke to you and they've got it half wrong right because they've heard you a thousand times but they don't know they got the joke half wrong because you've hypnotized them they don't even remember you know yeah or some people remember you don't remember anymore yeah that's a weird one yeah I've had people come up to me and tell me a bit I go what what bit is that and they'll tell me the bit I'm like when is that from like 2014 I'm like I don't even remember that yeah just something you were trying out every now knows yeah that's what's fun now for me as I'm getting a little bit deeper been coming up on 13 years is no now I'm getting the point where like oh this bit that I tried two or three years ago now yes yes that's really funny yeah I remember that that time you you're essentially a PhD in comedy when you've

04:32got 10 years in like if you have do real 10 hard years of comedy and then after that it seems like some some guys mean it all depends on the artist right but if some guys have their best work like 15 16 years in they're just starting to catch their groove and figure out what it is you know cuz it's a it's only understood by the people who practice it it's it's understood in a way by a lot of people who are comedy fans but that's similar to like me being a fan of music I don't know about music but I know what I like I know it's when it sounds good yeah I literally don't understand any of it so I think there's those kinds of people - yeah I mean comedy is such a yeah I mean that's why it's great when your peers what's one thing I loved about doing my special other than like people singing and being able to like I wanted to just make something and put something out I had always done like

05:28small little things or guested on people's things and I was like oh I've been doing comedy over 10 years and I'm show a lot of potential I want to present a male and when I put it out and like people's reaction was great but in the but my peers is what really made me happy that when I would get text from from like Mulaney or for some people being like you or or just be like this was your hour this is you presenting who you are completely right and that when people can see the stuff behind it when it's not just like joke punchline joke punchline when people can see like oh you set this up you did this right your structure is right and then you just were yourself that's what really makes me happy in comedy yeah yeah you're a funny dude man I enjoy watching you I've watched you quite a few times The Comedy Store now in the main room be very very funny man it's cool to see a guy like

06:25you put something down that's representative of your real you real stand-up what you're capable of doing it's it's a nice group to be a part of man and you sound like you think about it a lot I really appreciate that when people think about like what it is we're doing how do you do it yeah how do you do it like do you write do you write on paper do you write with a typewriter do you just write we just have ideas and you just keep working on them it's all a mix you know I like to say like I'm more of a Fisher than a hunter like I'm not constantly like oh I need to write this down every day I have the structure but I'm constantly like I try to make my house that we're we're constantly always joking around with each other there's notebooks everywhere there's like little bowls of like with post-it notes for me whenever I an idea come they'd make sure I catch it and then I

07:15have to make sure that I work on it you know that becomes the difference it's just constantly keeping myself in motion so that I don't get stagnant I don't just do the same 1015 over and over again that because you know that's where I think especially when I first moved out here it was always about like oh I got to show these people that I'm good so I got to do my best work my best work and I did that for about three months and I was like oh I don't have anything in the kitchen I don't have any backup you know I haven't been building anything up and so I learned very quickly I think the Comedy Store has been the best for me that just being like having like follow people who were completely not like me stylistically having to follow people who I grew up watching you know I did a night the other day where I had to follow it was Sebastian and then Ron white and then me

08:07and then I was like there's no I mean I'm like I'm confident and myself when people know me but when it comes to that it's like I'm the bottom of the totem pole on those three and I had to go out there and just show them that like I'm capable I'm not gonna mess up the momentum here I'm just as funny as these people you just don't know me you haven't met me yet that's the thing I've been listen to a lot like there's rappers all the time but like this rapper 2 Chainz where he said like I just had to wait for for the fans and for the game to learn what I already knew and that's where I'm starting to feel now a new confidence is like I know I'm good and I just have to wait for people to catch up on my wave and I don't if they don't they don't if they do find you this very jazz of you two chains was the guy who debated Nancy Grace about weed remember that yeah wait

09:01is gonna kill ya he outlasted her yeah that didn't work I mean it's hilarious now and see how many states have legalized it and in full disclosure Ron and I smoked marijuana with young Jamie before this podcast as I do so many others it's finally the stigma slowly being removed slowly dude I was a drug addict in the 90s when I started my first first welcome weed I guess it was not even the 90s it was like I was a night maybe 98 or 99 somewhere around that it's when I started smoking weed and you were a drug addict you were drug addict do a marijuana user what's wrong with you man get your together I'm like man you guys don't get it there's 2 Chainz there he is a Nancy Grace they put this stuff on the screen when it was going on how many marijuanas does it take to overdose it amazing quote did she really say that no no no it's a twitter user they put it or tweeting whatever hashtag pot

10:10to blame oh my god look at the Twitter oh that Twitter user Oh Skyler Tyler 2015 it says Oh Tyler 2015 do that but is 2015 the day of the tweet must be not as practiced in as an account but I don't know what happened it's a weird Dhokla there's a space in there said I don't know well yeah I think 2015 well weather I don't know I don't know whoever's whoever that is congratulations made me laugh my ass off yeah that's funny oh yeah that's why I was a ridiculous lady you know she's she obviously wasn't that healthy you know she wasn't like a very fit health conscious person just worrying about weed she's just a crazy person she was like Paula Deen but she couldn't cook food it's marijuana it's gonna kill you Ron Funches people still like that there's a lot of people like that in the middle of the country in another country sometimes it's still like you know there's a lot

11:08of stigma dependent racially you know depends they get the soccer weed moms and everybody's like oh that's cool and then you still get that like I did a podcast the other day and the first comments were like either yours too stoned you're not doing it's like no I just did a bad job you know right I could have just done a bad job it didn't have anything to do with me being stoned yeah like they know that if you were sober the podcast would have been way better yeah you were sober man you would have been so weird that's true it's all true I just have to go to this place Englewood Wellness Center it was kind of in a hood area um a little bit sketchy and then while we're going there like within a year or two later the guy who ran it got shot and robbed there it's like that's how dangerous weed was cuz ya do it all in cash they wouldn't let banks use checks they wouldn't I

12:00wouldn't accept checks and credit cards so everything was weird even though it was medical and it was legal you had to get it through nefarious ways and then slowly but surely the stigma started to erase yeah now you can just go to a store on Melrose yes like adults like what how do you feel you're wise man how do you feel I should have qualified that I'm setting you up what do you think about making all drugs legal do you think that that would ever happen and given what we know about prohibition sounds like an interview mmm given what we know about prohibition like how bad it was for alcohol and how it popped up the organized crime and I mean caused a lot of problems do you think it would be a wise thing to make all drugs legal that's a tough question for me that's um I think you have to start I guess that's really trying to give people a lot of credit about their

12:58intelligence and their decision-making right and that's when you're trying to lead towards that the that the individual is very intelligent and they they're going to make their decision no matter what and that if I put any stigma to it just like you know you know prostitution things like that you're just adding extra jail time extra obstacles extra life-threatening situations and you're also penalizing people for their own life choices instead of propping up organized crime mm-hmm or as well as weather propping up organized crime but if you've seen the effects of drug addiction which I've had on occasion you use a hard to go like yeah this should be okay you know I 100% agree so it's it's not that clean no I don't think that's wise yeah that would be my answers I don't think is that clean I think that it is a case-by-case basis will do I think marijuana should be legal I have

13:52absolutely do I think that you should necessarily legal eyes heroin no I don't think so I don't think so either um but I think that I think there's a real problem with infantilizing adults the the real problem is like if you are 25 years old or older and you decide you want to try cocaine who's who's like why can they say you can't do that why says who says ooh why is that why if you catch me with that can you put me in a jail it grows from the ground it's a plant they take that plant they process it they turn into cocaine they still use it legally for lidocaine and medical-grade cocaine they still use it for the flavor of coca-cola they still use the leaves they still use the plant like who says I don't even do coke but who the do you think is making money selling coke because there's a lot of coke it's one thing that's completely there's no other industry in Miami and

14:55there's so much money there did you see cocaine Cowboys mm no oh dude Billy Corbin the guy who directed it was on the podcast yesterday he's uh he's fantastic and he's got this new documentary called screwball it's about Alex Hernandez and steroids and baseball and all this crazy sugar yes oh right Rodriguez who's Alex Hernandez this is a different one a rod how does a guy know that's Aaron there's we even England's Atreus goddamn we'd my head up that is the guy from the Patriots no there's Aaron her name okay that's where I it up my apologies Alex Alex Rodriguez and uh anyway this this guy made a documentary called cocaine cowboys and it's all about how crazy during the big cocaine days Miami was and how one year the entire graduating class of the sheriff's Academy the police academy whatever it was they either were murdered or they were arrested for corruption the whole

15:54everyone the entire class at the entire graduating year like ever it was wild west chaos and there was all these pilots bringing in millions of dollars worth of coke and they had bags of money buried in their backyard it's crazy it's great man it's great it's a two-part series over it says there's two parts to it to do you ever to version Black Mafia family you ever you ever watch any documentaries about them no that makes me always interested what did they do they were a cocaine outlet in the early 2000s out of Atlanta and they transit at one point they were running like most of the south-southeast headed by the student named big Meech and then they decided like we should legalize and get into a rap but they had never done anything like that before and they were very blatant about it so the all of a sudden these people who were came out of nowhere we're just all on like every

16:51magazine that they have this thing where they're interviewed interviewing police officers and they had this big billboard when you would land in Atlanta that would go that would just say BMF we own the world and they were just out there and they would throw up these big parties with Tigers and stuff and they only had one recording artist so it was just like they weren't good at pretending not to be drug dealers it's so it's very interesting to me well that whole rap business man I mean if you just stop and think about rap music other than some country and I mean really like a small amount of country would talk about murder men you know I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die a few Johnny Cash maybe some Merle Haggard Waylon Jennings maybe some some of those songs but when you get to like NWA you have a totally different level of aggression you know when you get to Ice

17:52T's body count when he was doing that hard metal he was doing the police or I'm a cop killer I mean it's either NWA the police or iced teas I'm a cop killer he was like you never heard anything like that before yeah and those an interest in time because that's I mean talking about real anger what we talked about before this is coming from real places who were dealing with you know Los Angeles at a horrible time in LA police corruption and then what's crazy is in you it goes the other way right they take that real anger that people connect it to and then they just started manufacturing and then rap becomes all these fake stories of like I've murdered all these people I have all this money and now it's just so far gone that it it's hard to find I mean now my favorite authentic rap is like people who are like oh you know I can't find my Wi-Fi password or sure are

18:49people just talking about raising their kids now I love that in rap because then I'm like oh you're for real yeah why not talk about anything you know today was a good day one of the original ones right gonna be a song called oh you could eat which was Joe about going to him yeah but like today was a good day I mean is that is like a classic example of someone taking the art form and completely switching it up and slowing it down and make it casual and relaxed and celebratory and that's from the same dude the same dude from NWA yeah smart man smart man he's a wizard of a writer too his lyrics are fantastic you know there's like when there's lyrics in my mind when it comes to hip-hop there's lyrics and there's nas nas does that you just go like that backward song you know just like everything is so it's like like a practiced like Orchestra you know as opposed to just being rhymes like

19:52it's sometimes he puts things together so so interestingly you know he's got his own special sort of appreciation for things yeah he's also very smart man it has to be best he invests a lot of tech companies he does a lotta he's big in the investments why he's young 20s when he wrote that he's like 23 when that song came out that's incredible his dad was like a jazz musician so I think he grew up around the culture of creating things and being an artist he's got that feel to him he's like a hybrid you know in terms of he's like jazzy rap sort of you know I mean like just something to it's like almost like a classical trained musician slash rapper in terms of like how he constructs things yeah like Hamilton I didn't see Hamilton did you see it no I'm but a lot of people once well anything where a lot of light that makes a lot of white people get into a rap I go to probably not for

20:51me oh I want to know any rap about the presidents this one thing that like white guys have managed to infiltrate certain elements of Republic such a small number of like legitimately respected white rappers was a number Eminem of course Eminem yeah for sure Kid Rock in a way he's kind of a rapper respect their rapper no no no but does is fun yeah it's accepted MC sir Macklemore and sir MC serch was great mm-hmm I used to love them I used to love third base they were fun never liked bc bo however last for sure but ever last has changed and now he raps occasionally I would think he would call himself more of a musician now jump around them they still jump around well not only that the last that they put out was great too that stuff that he came in and and showed us and he did some stuff would be real and some other guys what do they call it was his last project

21:54shoutout to that project we'll find it Jamie we'll find it he's a but like porn industries that's right more porn industries that's preposterous what a crazy name how high do you have to be to come up with that name Action Bronson oh yeah oh yeah yeah oh Action Bronson yeah dude I've never seen a man smoke more weed in my life never seen it he just keeps going like he just a member we took a picture of the ashtray after it was over so all the all the expired blunts it was like this is Papa he's from that that's delicious show oh yeah I'm a big Action Bronson friend I love him he's so interesting to me do you watch the cooking show sometimes yeah it's interesting right like that that guy was a like a legit chef yeah yeah and Matt and then just that he's a great rapper great chef a great personality super nice guy I sell paintings now good for him yeah so for a billion

22:54dollars that's 1 billion dollars you that's 2 billion that's amazed get that money Action Bronson get that money yeah man I'm all for people selling the most ridiculous I went to my agents house once he had this dope place in Aspen I mean this place was crazy like you know Aspen houses like near the ski lodges and shed and on the wall he had this painting and I said I go did this kid make this and they go no that's a you know some obscure popular artist I go what is that and they like this is a really expensive piece of the up you're messing with me like no it was like tissue paper there was like different colors it was stuck with glue and like a little piece of paper and some paint on it get the out of here with this like what are you doing with that can't count I mean what the pretty no that's why I was stunned I thought it was his kid I thought his kid

23:56made it maybe I maybe I was dumb I definitely was but younger and dumber maybe I'd appreciate it now but I don't think so I appreciate all kinds of our I'd appreciate distorted things but I don't appreciate like just a bunch of splat you know what I mean let's gotta have something to it yeah yeah like Jackson Pollock stuff like that stuff weirds me out I was like why is it so expensive like I get it I got it you mean it's crazy it's definitely crazy but then you look at you know you look at classic like look at a you know some Frank Frazetta stuff do you know who that guy on hmm he was a fantasy painter homey from the nineteen said there's a poster of his or a print of one of his works out in the lobby that Conan the Barbarian one with that uh that monster he's got a sword he was uh this guy that do he would do all the covers for Conan the Barbarian books just incredible

24:56artwork like wild crazy fantasy and this is your type of art oh just I loved it when I was a kid man when I was a kid you know when I was like this seems like what you would like I loved it it was the best his books were incredible there's Robert E Howard was this really tortured guy who was a guy who lived with his mom he had you know fairly poor health and he died suicide when he was like 36 years old but he wrote a bunch of these books about a guy that was nothing like him they've got a guy who was this just unstoppable force of nature from this baby he created this place called us was Sumeria would he call it well this is Sumerian it was Sumerian is that what it was we're Conan Conan the Cimmerian right cime they created created a whole world and in this world is like it was like very games with Rhoni in a lot of ways the original like no one to this

25:53day has really captured the books in a movie like Arnold was fun as Conan and then Jason Momoa was like a better fit physically he was like a perfect fit physically more realistic as opposed to like being a bodybuilder but nobody's ever captured like the feeling of the books because the books is just some wild and it was all created by this one guy was like super depressed you just write these books about this guy who just all these women and killed everyone and just just smashed his way through the world and power Fanta thing crazy though was all him fighting dragons and monsters and demons coming for his soul and he ran for 72 hours and fights them all for the sword and this was quit when you're 12 years old like I was and I got into this I get that that's like what you see W wrestling was for me cuz there was like titties everywhere and violence and blood and nails

26:48yea yea yea yea dude I watched one yesterday on Instagram somebody had a clip of a guy and a girl and they're in the middle of the rain the guys making out with the girl and then he turns on their and bodyslams are down to the ground and I was like what you could still do that in Pro Wrestling you could still fake like fake violence against a chick I didn't know yeah oh yeah energy arrest instilled a obey they slam they fake slam chicks that is crazy I saw him do that I was like that could not have felt good a lady suck a blow pop up a dudes butt recently oh no mm-hmm he and he didn't want it what is this about it's just his dick you carry when you carry around blow pop I guess you know Wow Jesus Christ just Rathlin well whatever you gotta do to show them tickets what is this Jamie is this the blow pop thing no way oh my God he's really sticking it up his ass oh my god and

27:51then his side kicks him in the face and the guy's guy's pants down wait a minute that might be the greatest video I've ever seen in my life the same guy who did the like this beached great white shark that's crazy that's crazy I can't show it the shark was chasing a seagull oh you can't show it and accidentally ended up in the beach why don't these guys grab it and pull it back in the foam is why I invite you oh my god the guys throwing water on it just grab it you just grab it they don't know Oh how do they not know I scared that's dead it's dead now they can only last outside oh it's still still breathing a little bit it's crazy that is an ancient feeding machine look at the face on that thing man just stop and think about what a nightmare the ocean is yeah what a nightmare things like that are just roaming around and us we think what being spiritual hey man

28:54I'm just gonna get on my board I'm just gonna get on my board be Monster food no I put my foot in the back out I'm such a when it comes to the ocean I was in Hawaii and we went snorkeling dive at the water and you staring down it was cool we were by this reef and but all I was thinking is I just need seen one of these and I'm never getting in this water again one of those I can't wanna do that now I couldn't I was too heavy before I was past the weight limit that you could go do some diving how do I know I would always tell myself I didn't want to do it but not one do it yeah you can tell yourself a lot of things right mm-hmm yeah Mitchell burgers tell a joke about a writing that uh when he gets funny idea he writes things down or he if he's lazy he not that funny how did you lose the weight um I really just changed my I got a trainer that was a big part of it

29:54and they changed my diet and started exercise a bunch more from a guy who didn't exercise at all and ate multiple Philly cheesesteaks a day took guy who eats a bunch of boneless skinless chicken breast and protein shakes and now I work out like six times a day Wow yeah just seemed like I was gonna die if I didn't so what do you do for working out these days uh you know weightlifting a lot of see the data you know just fly back a little biceps you know when arm rolls and whatnot just general weightlifting so but you're you do it a lot yeah yeah yeah do you um do you fund has an effect on your mood on how you feel oh absolutely how do you feel how much better do you feel now and how much you attributed to the working out to losing weight or both of them together it's a combination definitely the diet and just feeling better nutrition wise is a it's very helpful but you know just doing two

30:57shows a night now you know they used to be a thing for me I used to be like really tired afterwards and now is you know no problem I do a lot of voiceovers and and other little things and so you know I'm always bouncing around from going like doing shows in the weekend and coming home and didn't happen to go to voiceover on Monday morning and taking care of my son and helping him with his homework and just being able to do that and not being like oh I'm just I gotta go pass out I'm tired you know that's really the biggest deal being able to take on more so then I'm able to make more money so I was carrying my daughter around my shoulders the other day she likes to get carried around she's 63 pounds and while she's on my shoulders after you know 40 minutes or so of that like it's rough like it starts really hurting your neck start getting really tired and I had to put it

31:48down and I was thinking like how crazy is that there's a lot of people that just carry that much extra around with them all the time they're always carrying around an extra 60 pounds and you don't think it's that much of a deal until you don't have it and then you walk with it yeah you know and you realize like and it's this like even if it's not that like when a kid sitting on your neck it's not like the ideal place to carry all the weight they actually make a thing there's a company called the outdoorsman they make a thing called the Atlas pack it's like a backpack frame and but at the back of it is like one of those weightlifting posts so you could slide an Olympic barbell or Olympic plate on and two plates you put as much as 90 pounds on it clamp this thing down and then it's sitting more on your hips it's way easier to Airi but even that still it's fun it's

32:38sucks man walking around with just 45 extra pounds on your back sucks yeah just getting you know just being like my mid-30s and being like oh my my knees are hurting I didn't I never played football I never did anything like that my knees shouldn't be hurting right and just knowing I think I had to just change just changed my mindset about like before when I was just doing stand-up to do it and didn't think I was gonna be successful it didn't matter I was just like I'm just living for today give me free pizza and give me whatever and then it was like once this thing started changing a little bit I was like oh I'm things are happening I still don't even really know what I'm doing let me if I give myself a better chance and take care of my health take care of my body let me see how far I can push these gifties skills you know and it became more about not wanting to waste

33:28opportunities that's very cool that's cool I like that so your love of stand-up made you sort of concentrate even more on your own body yeah not crazy yeah like not your love of yourself not your love of your body like course like this is you have to go through number what you do in your life you're going through it with your body but it was your love of stand-up I mean like god I gotta do something about this body yeah that crazy yeah love of stand-up I love my son and love of fashion and I didn't you know when you get to certain size all your shirts got dogs on them and you know I don't want that anymore Yeah right it gets like you get into that triple XL I'm happy whenever anybody does anything that uh that benefits their health whether it's uh for whatever your motivation the end result is always good it's always good no matter what motivation is positive or

34:26negative you want to prove somebody wrong you know or you just want to do just do better just have a better path you know so it's so it's so attainable for so many people so many people could at least be way healthier at least have way more energy at least like understand not that feeling of just being like oh all day and every time I cheat like burgers and fries and and and like milkshakes and like that if I really go off the deep end with my diet I feel like dog I feel terrible it hits me like oh and then you gotta realize hey man this is how a lot of people feel all the time yeah that's the big deal for me and the same thing just going off ate half a burger and was feeling so sick and then I was like man I used to live like this every meal yeah and my body you know this is just a you know testament of what your body is capable to adapt to you know but once you start going the

35:27other way and started really getting health and you really in your body becomes more sensitive to it you really are like oh I prefer not to cheat you know do you think still gotta have that balanced you gotta have fun there's nothing wrong with an ice cream or something like that every now and again some sort of a dessert but it's it really it's they they just think that your body has to be accustomed to getting what it needs that's what it is and for too many people they're running on nutrition deficit so when your body is just not getting what it needs for long periods of time then you develop chronic inflammation and all sorts of other problems and this is what people are really suffering from you know you they're suffering from a nutritional deficiency that's probably lasted for years they probably never did you know some people they just they go 10 15 20

36:13years without even thinking about their dying there's eating dog you're just eating stuff that doesn't have enough nutrients and your body just starts to get weaker there's no way around it and if you just just turn that starting salads eating healthy fish and and and you know some healthy meat and just take some vitamins take some vitamin supplements real simple you know just get yourself some multivitamins get yourself like a little thing at athletic greens or something like it get your health online and once you do you'd be like oh I should you better I feel this all I had to do and I'm this person now yeah mentally so much better much clearer much happier much happier it's so hard though because we love mouths pleasure you know but to the point where people poisoning their bodies to get mouths pleasure yeah and it's just you know constantly pushed in your face everybody

37:08always knows we talk about all the time you know in the cheeseburgers 50 cents salad like five six dollars you know is you have to make that effort you have to be able to want to cook at home and it's not it's not made easy and and that's what I think we become as a society less cool and less appreciative of effort you know yeah but there's also there's something really annoying about people that want you to eat healthy yeah that do oh hi hi get the out of here if you're sitting there and you're having a burger and fries and enjoying the out of it and some next to yous got kale with shaved pecans and talking about your diet while they're pouring fresh olive oil on top of their shitty salad come on man leave me alone you know me alone why enjoy something gross yeah a taster oh but I think as long as the the majority of your diet is really healthy then you can get in those

38:11off days it doesn't matter your body will bounce back just don't don't put it in a deficit yes the whole key and that's where I've been coming from and that's that's why I have to I have to keep reminding myself because I get frustrated when I'm out like these parties or whatever and see out you know it's food everywhere yams everywhere and I might have to stay it'll focus on this diet because I'm like I you know I'm 36 now and I want to make sure that I'm at my healthiest and I returned this deficit when I'm 40 you know because that when a natural aging process kicks in I don't want to be like kicking off still being you know 230 to 220 pounds I want to be like 200 and and be able to coast and be a hot old man hot old man yes because it's also way easier competitions less true yeah it's way easier to maintain to than it is to like if you're in your 50s and then you start

39:09working out then is hard it's really it's hard for me when I get out of shape like if I get hurt or something like that I take a couple weeks off that's you feel it like whoa it's way harder to bounce back way hard like twice as hard as it was when I was younger like you got to be disciplined yes stay on the horse yeah that's what I've been trying to do now is I think you know when you're younger 22 teens or whatever you don't want to listen to anybody saying those things and now I'm like I'm starting to listen who in someone I know more my friends are 50 or older and they're like hey you need to do this now because one cheat meal for me is two weeks of work yeah yeah um do you do anything like athletic that's fun like that's one way to get good workouts in like if you play a game you like tennis tennis is very fast-paced people like doing that gives them good car

40:05towns and tennis boxing towns into boxing to like anything mean you don't have to box a person I don't recommend you do because but just hitting a bag it's like it's really satisfying - yeah I've been interested in getting in the boxing I am I tried some pro wrestling for a little bit I went to a pro wrestling school no yeah what about you have you ever thought about actual grappling like taking jiu-jitsu or I thought about let's see like I hurt easily well you could but you're a smart guy I think you'd figure it out pretty quickly it's it's it's a very unusual thing because you think of people like if you thought of someone who does does Jiu Jitsu you think like like a jock itch type person but the majority of them that are really good or really nerds that's I've met a couple people at all like they're similar to me they're just kind of like the other side of me

40:55we're like oh you like comic books and video games too you just beat people up well they don't be people up they strangle them but when I say nerd I mean I mean it with all due respect that they're you know cuz I'm a nerd in a lot of ways with some things but they they're they're very like jujitsu geeks they're like people that are obsessed with anything else whether it's music or video games or they become obsessed but they're doing it in this physical way that requires you to have a deep understanding of all the potential moves it's very complicated in terms of like your ability to when you when you're rolling with someone like say if I roll with a guy and I know he's like a brown belt or a black belt or something like that I'm we're having an argument or Goods a conversation with techniques and the more vocabulary you have and the stronger your use of those words ours

41:46particularly the basic words the better your chance of winning the argument that's what it's like almost like this really complicated debate with physical leverage comedy cuz I feel like that kind of reminds me of your style it um it definitely is like it's like a lot of what I try to do is like figure things out in a joke form right I try like what why is that what's that so and that like that's what I've been trying to do over the last few years I think so in in that sense it is kind of similar that's because you're trying to figure something out like it's it's like a puzzle like there's I know there's some juice in this puzzle like how do i how do i turn this into a bit why do I think this is funny like what do I think I can say out of this that's funny and also people go oh yeah huh you know and if I could do that it's so in that sense yeah it's kind of H but it's also

42:42it's very human it's humbling it's very humbling because you're getting strangled and you like just you live in power he also just know you know like my instructors Jean Jacques Machado he's very famous jiu-jitsu blackbelt world champion super nice guy one of the nicest guys on the planet but every time I grapple with him it's just like a it's a matter of time before he catches me with something it's just it's not whether or not I'm ever gonna catch him that's not gonna happen it was just a total different world and a lot of that is his deep knowledge and understanding something and you being a smart guy I think you'd get into it especially because you love pro wrestling so there's like there's like you have them at least you have a mindset for watching guys do things to each other and manipulate each other which is half of what's exciting about pro wrestling right some guy pulling off

43:37some crazy move even if it's orchestrated it's still a crazy thing that these guys are pulling off on each other yeah I mean I I like that more because then I'm like oh they're friends and they work this out together my problem is I know they're getting hurt and then not even really fighting mm-hmm right I mean they're it's they're hitting each other for sure they're doing things to each other and slamming each other it's all real but those guys get banged up and they do it way more so if you're watching the guy who's fighting in the UFC they have practices that they can control so if they know that they have a hurt you know back or a hurt foot you know they'll put and instead pass on they won't they won't kick they'll do things will they work around whatever injury they have whether when they're in the camp you can't do that when dudes are throwing you something you got a bad

44:25back and sometimes picking you up bang well they will you know they'll adjust what moves they will do but I do really like your point about least they can take some time off yeah they can definitely adjust I'm sure yeah they can definitely make an agreement with each other hey don't slamming my back is but those guys get beat the up talking to dowse Paige and jake the snake' two guys that have had on the podcast forum they were amazing and especially Jake stories crazy man yeah when he tells you his story and what a nice guy big giant nice man like just genuinely friendly and and happy that everything's going well for him now crazy but that's a rough business is my point like I'm way rather like real grappling I feel like real grappling for like if Ella's gonna tell a person like what would be safer for your body I think pro wrestling's harder I think

45:23it's harder on you I could see that dude get slammed you watch some of that stuff but knowing what you know now about brain damage and knowing what you know now about that it's not even concussions necessarily as much as it's sub-concussive trauma that doesn't knock you unconscious but just rattles your head and the repeated impacts of those yeah those guys are getting that all the time yeah all the time yeah no I go back and sometimes I watch some older wrestling and it really makes me cringe cuz he got a lot of guys taking all these chair shots straight to the face straight to the face yeah so Ken Ken Shamrock take this one to the head that sounded like a gunshot it was crazy yeah dude what is it about people getting smacked in the head um Tom Segar has been sending me these Russian slapped Championships his video have you seen this oh my god these guys stand in front of each other and

46:18smack each other in the face full clip but some of them are doing a terrible job they're hitting with their finger at against my finger they're getting fingers and then there's other guys that are basically doing like a ridge hand strike to your neck they're clipping guys on the chin like this and they follow through that looks like a slap but this is not a slap this this is like a karate chop there they're like going like that to the head and then it turned mean it's way harder and then some guys are doing like a boss fruit and palm strike they're hitting like this they're doing like a right hook to the head like that it's brutal guys are get knocked unconscious I like to see it but just with like older black moms there used to be the dumbest thing ever it was called like X arm and they would tape these guys arms together and let them have an MMA fight what it was

47:17an MMA fight slash arm wrestling competition and they were taped together it sounds so stupid you can't imagine that not only was it real but that the guy who created it was one of the original creators of the UFC like it's such a great idea they just went for it man look they taped these people together their arms are taped together they can't even move away and then when they say go they start fighting come on and they get an armbar so this guy folks this guy's armed up dude he broke his arm on the table a hundred percent if that guy keeps pulling on that thing he gets his arm snapped ya know I don't know if you actually broke it right there but if the way the leverage of that table get that guys can't kicked in the head while he's tied to that guy's arm it's crazy his arm the pin is armed or KO him to win what what what didn't work I mean it didn't laugh why does some crazy people

48:13can get I love it dude but that's real and now this is the other one chessboxing this is a legit one too I think they box first and then they play chess right I think it goes back and forth oh they keep going back and forth that's a good move but seriously if you need to ko did it the other ring what if you get ko do you win yeah if you win addition is there one yeah like if you win it trust me you get flatlined in 30 seconds whoo that's also be really fun if there's people who are horrible at fighting but really good it yeah and they would just lay down yeah you win you win this part I'm just here for the chest I suck at chess why do they have headphones on focus do you think so yeah really while you're playing chess I like to crowd yeah Oh cuz people probably say not to run - yeah it looks like the fight was first yeah their sweat by the way Knight to rook -

49:16probably isn't a real move I just said some numbers and some letters I don't understand anything when it comes to playing chess out loud I was friends with this guy that was in prison mm-hmm and in prison he learned how to play chess with his words you know with it just in his head and he was at this place that we used to play pool at and White Plains New York's called executive billiards a classic old-school pool hall yeah I think it's done now I think they they just closed it down or something like that maybe they're renovating or something but this guy was playing with this kid who was like a world champion chess player and this kid would come by and play pool this really young kid like like 15 16 years old and the two of them were sitting there playing chess with each other like just saying you know Knight to Queen 2 or you know whatever the it means and the guy would go

50:10stand there go rook to six blah blah blah and they would go back and forth like this I bet I was what are you imagining what they're seeing like what are they seeing in their head are they seeing like these things move around in three dimensions are they looking at it as a grid how are they keeping track or where their pieces are it was humbling humbling no that's just Street ejek mind that I do not have what was interesting to me too because there's a very young man I think it was like 23 or 24 I got to see how smart this guy was yet he still wound up in prison mmm so I was like okay just because someone's a criminal doesn't mean they're stupid and just because someone's smart doesn't mean they won't go to jail absolutely those are two things I saw talking to that guy and if he was in the middle of the game once and he was gambling with this guy and this is the guy from prison

50:58it was super smart guy very sharp guy and he was talking to the guy who's playing he said dude my wife told me if I don't get home by 10:00 she wants a divorce and ten o'clock rolls around and he yells out I guess I'm getting a divorce two hours later he just racks the balls he was there two like two o'clock in the morning but it was hilarious he just he said like as they started playing my wife says if I don't come home by 10:00 those are weird times man growing up in like a suburb of Boston which was a really nice place I grew up in this place called Newton like real quiet quaint little community to go from that like the seedy pool halls of New York was really weird for me very very educational I got to see all these like street hustlers I got to hang around with these guys be friends with a lot of homeless guys like I had guys that were like pool players that wound up staying

51:55on my couch they had nowhere to go you know a couple of them and one of them who became my best friend this guy named Johnny but it was like we'd be in all these weird places gambling like he's weird strange places with these guys who were like these semi-professional players playing for hundreds thousands of dollars and it'd be a big crowd of guys all gathered around it'd be 1 2 in the morning and I'd be thinking these guys these are older than me men like they don't have families like what do they do like this is a whole separate culture you know and you're in that oh it was in a lot of ways men a lot of ways it was very underworld II I was obsessed with it two men I just wanted to play pool all the time I wasn't very good but the guys that was around were very good I was around a lot of guys were very wood very very good and you got to see like the excitement of these

52:46it was like it wasn't just excitement that everybody was gathered around mm-hmm and that they were playing this game for a lot of money it was also the excitement that we were bending the rules we're all just a bunch of men hanging out at this smoky place at one o'clock in the morning on a Wednesday and and everyone is in it together we're all just in some way deranged derelicts you know some weirdos from society that configure their way to be able to be at this place at one o'clock in the morning on a Wednesday like why the are you here man I don't you have responsibilities no one there had to be responsibilities everyone there was some sort of either a professional gambler or they had like some one of the guys was a fireman who they would they would put them on these 24-hour shifts and they'd be I have a couple days off I just come to the pool hall and hang out and watch guys gamble

53:37I mean it's not similar didn't stand up oh yeah man land of myth fits well that's one of the reasons why I fit in there from stand-up you know like starting doing stand-up from 21 then being around these pool hall guys when I was like 23 or 24 I was like oh you guys are like my fucked-up friends and I like it's like too many people out there think that there's like only one way to live your life like there's a there's a bunch of ways to live life there's a lot yeah it's a whole lot of world and everybody wants you to think that their way of living life is the way you should go about it it's real tricky because they all want like this sort of confirmation bias they want they want you to confirm they want well it's more like a confirmation desire they want you to confirm that they're doing the right thing if you listen to them then you become happy and you know they come up

54:28to you and they go hey man I'm really really excited that you you told me how to do it this way because now I'm just living my life much better thank you very much the people love to hear that like yeah I'm right then I am living my life the right way it's not right way no so many paths yeah be nice be positive work hard and do do what you want Madeleine I would have never got here if I listened to people you know it's impossible they don't even know what they're saying people give you advice when they're absolutely not sure of what they're saying they just subtract they practice on you they give sometimes people give you advice in it's real sometimes people have great advice sometimes people really mean well and sometimes people are just practicing yeah this is in general how can anyone give you advice that does doesn't relate to something that happened to them you

55:10know yeah like they're only going by their life experience so that is one thing I learned from the Chris Jericho another wrestler where he was just like you don't listen to unsuccessful people because they don't know how to do it yeah why would they tell you of course they're gonna tell you you can't do it because they couldn't do it a successful person will tell you you can do it most people I know like if you tell someone that I wanna go try comedy you know if you know if you have the balls to get up there and do it they're gonna support you yeah you know yeah and there's just playing those people out there on both sides there's plenty people out there that will give you good advice and really care and you know want you to do well in your life and there's plenty of people that don't want to see anybody doing any better than them and they're not doing that well there's a lot of

56:00that a lot of that that's a sickness that we got to forgive people for because I I had it when I was a young man for sure and I think many of us struggle with it it's one of things that made me realize that I was looking at stand-up the wrong way in terms were like other people's standup I was looking at other people stand-up is like a comparison to mine in that I was judging like who's the best who's doing better who's this who's that and then I realize like that is so stupid like I should just be a fan of comedy and do comedy mm-hm and so I shifted the way I thought about it so instead of like when I would see someone killing I'd be like god I wish I thought of that bit or God he's doing so good now I have to follow him instead mm-hmm somewhere along the line I got to a place where you like this is great this is funny like I love the fact that this

56:47guy is funny now I can become a fan of comedy again yeah instead of like being wrapped up in my own creation of it and producing my own stuff yeah well I was not that always I belong similar journey I was very competitive not but maybe a year or two ago and getting in a relationship that I'm in now has been very helpful cuz she's a big fan of comedy and she always wants to watch comedy and so then I'm always like okay I have to just not because I have to enjoy these people too because you know you're right they're great and I had to learn like I don't want everybody to be doing the comedy that I'm doing or I'm not special yeah I want to see all these different types of styles I think I mean the fact that I mean you are in this room together and we both respect each other's comedy in our comedies worlds apart and you know just come to completely different styles

57:36but we both respect each other because we both know that we're in what we do you know if I were to try to be like you that would make no sense I was trying to be like you people go what's going on man what are you doing up there come you won like that what is this of kratom a lot of people on that kratom know I respect the how do you man and I respect your process you know you're like we were talking about it as a art form as this structure based you know like you you structure things you know how to set things up it's so important and we don't have anyone to tell us how to do it we have to kind of like learn from each other and learn from the Great's of the past that we can you know we could watch but it's in a lot of ways it's sort of an undocumented art form in terms of the creation of the art form and part of the problem is that everybody has their own

58:39way of doing it like that's why I asked you like do you write down do you do type do you just have some some of the best just have ideas and they don't write and then they go on stage a lot and then they work those ideas out when they're on stage and they work those ideas out in their head and they keep everything in their head you know there's a lot of guys who are really great who don't they don't write they just write in the moment they write on stage and they have ideas and they flesh them out and they continue to work on them and they just stay active they never have to actually sit and write and they're some of the best and then there's guys who write everyday and they're some of the best you know it's like man I don't leave is the right way to do it I think it's just us left you just have to care and you have to be trying to get better yes 100 percent 100

59:21sentences it's got to be effort and not going back in like when I'm trying to do now is is be a little bit more picky because I go I like did my special then I go write a joke I go oh you're basically doing an extension of what you've already written and linking don't don't do that like let's try something new let's go some well if you don't have it this just go up there and and relax a bit live life a little bit yeah most of my materials personal in anyway you know I don't really do a lot of topical so for me to generate material I usually have to be active in life and that things happen to me yes yes yeah I think um I think it's really important to be around a lot of other people that are doing it really well - mm-hmm you know one of the things I really get out of LA was on any given night I can go to store and watch someone murder you know like all the time and you're like mom one

60:15person like 6 7 8 people killin in their own way and you just around that to just get this like extra juice out of that place man you know get extra juice out of La out of the store a lot of times I have the improv it's like there's just there's so many of us here it's a crazy hive of comedians if you really stop and think about it yeah you know I mean but gene Diaz and burr and you know Segura's here you know you're here D'Elia I mean it's just every week that places mom Aaron's here it's like Theo Vaughn's here it's just it's chaos Sebastian's here yeah like holy you might get a drop in from Chappelle all the time yeah all the time yeah I mean it's one of the weirdest places ever in terms of like a hive of comedy and we're so lucky to be in that hive man we'd watch and all this go down in 2019 you know this epic time for stand-up yeah that's the thing

61:15you know I don't like to bring it up all the time but like when something like what Brodie pathing happens that to go like oh yeah stopping and so on the rat race and so competitive all the time and worried about what you're making and realize that the true gift is the time that you get to spend with these truly unique minds you know the people who don't think like me at all people who you say you every day where I go oh like how like that was in the air for anyone yes that's the weirdest feeling right when you're like how did I miss that goddamnit Tony Hinchcliffe has a joke right now I don't want to give it away but it's it's one of those where he does it I go God is that so good Santino's got this bit about candles that I'm like you know I worked with him all weekend I was in Austin with him he's great yeah I love him took George Perez to mmm George Perez murdered murdered in Austin

62:15oh yeah I did cap city comedy club I wanted to go do the comedy club for a goof I need to do more comedy clubs it's just such a different thing that such a rich comic who do a club as a goof you make a decision whether you want to make a lot of money or have a lot of fun yeah true truly yeah yeah and it's not that it's not a lot of money to work at a club it's it's great money it's not bad but it's um it's a different choice it's like the choice of right now for me the choices are about just trying to make my make more sense and more reps in front of different people and and more feels more different vibe you know yeah every time you go onstage you're in a different place audience is different introduce yourself to new people yeah well I'm trying to do I'm getting ready to go out on a tour and I specifically was asking my people or like I was like I want to go to Huntsville Alabama I

63:09want to go to like I want to go to these places that you don't expect to see me and I want to see a because I think it'd be cool they're just bringing people were like hey why are you here and I want to see that's why I'm going to Australia I just want to see make my comedy travel and I'll learn I'll learn how to I'm sure I'll go in there and I'll say something that's too American and I'll be like oh okay right and it'll just den it in for my writing and I would start writing more globally and you know and those it a type of things I'm looking for now they're fantastic Australia is great they're like alternative Americans you know I say that a good way like in an era like a degree nicer than Canadians it's like you get Canadians who where I say there's 20% less douchebags in Canada then there is the United States you could always find bad people everywhere but then you've got people from

63:59Australia I think they take that another 10% it's like one of the nicest people ever they're so nice I can't wait the great man their shows our show's over they're amazing you know and they're there they appreciate then they know most of our you know they understand most references and things that we will talk about but if you knew a few about them it would it would probably help them relate to you it's it's a weird culture it's it's a place that I would totally live if I didn't live here if I didn't live in America or I didn't live in Canada I don't want to go anywhere I'm not saying I want to leave America but I said if I did yeah but you travel and you like you you you find a place where this is fun to visit and then you find this place it's like to me like Italy is nice to visit by like I could never live here but then I go to Amsterdam I'm like I live here

64:43this is like Portland like Portland yeah Portland sort of fashioned itself after that when it became legal to have weed there too right mm-hmm a lot of those places were comparing themselves to Amsterdam way back in the day you know it's funny Amsterdam was a place where people would actually go there to get high it's like the the very first high destination when people try a broke gonna go to Amsterdam get high I like going just for the vibe of like we talked about earlier of no stigma there's no like someone if you know I drop something on the ground or whatever to people oh you stoner like there's nothing like that in Hazzard am and I love that feeling it's a dumb thing here that's just a remnant of propaganda and dumb stoners that are real people you know I mean there's always that time where you run into someone who's too high you're like oh man you just up the whole

65:36stereotype man you're perpetrating sir yes oh yes smoke the ball and others coming out of your nose like yeah there was certain people that just get too high they just get two hands you two weirded out by life and you're like bro slow down alright now you're okay alright no everybody's okay yeah the end is horrible for everyone in anyone but right now you're okay so if you can't be happy now when you're okay and you're worried about the times when you not gonna be okay that is madness alright so you got a police offer of madness and be in the moment in the moment everything's fine but that's a tight wire walk when you're high as right that's okay wire walk when you're sober it is so you see they they let that dude off the Empire guard yeah I did see that when I'm slide I love it it makes it so exciting for me I've been wild couple dates on my girlfriend go I go the craziest thing

66:34would be if they say he's not guilty because then you have to go what happened what happened what happened did he bribe somebody or did some new evidence come forth that they had a bad investigation did the two guys that were his witnesses did they get caught lying about something else you know the witnesses against him they might have caught them lying about something else and they don't know what to do and they have to abandon the case because then they're they obviously know that he's a lot these guys lied about something who the knows man I know I can make a guest miss they won't be educated but just knowing Chicago in general I mean my guess is maybe the way they were going after the investigation wasn't really aboveboard and if they if they he's just like I'm not guilty and they have to actually go in and present this evidence they don't have you know

67:23they don't have what they really need to have you know like I don't I don't think anyone's going around like okay yeah well then those two Nigerian maca guys did a tackle on Magra guys it's so great well then they also they sealed the case so fun yeah it's crazy yeah if you wanted like a good twist you know in the movie like this is a crazy scene in the movie where crazy music is playing and you see Jessie Smollett come out in slow motion and put his sunglasses on and get into the limo not guilty music and he comes out in slow motion and gets in the limo and then dudes are wearing ski masks and people are pulled on it's like like one ongoing story and one of those Tarantino movies we've got four stories like Pulp Fiction battling it out he's one of them where he gets not guilty and it becomes a big twist cuz you feel like you find out there's some behind-the-scenes

68:19shenanigans and that led to this yeah because what happens we were like oh he's never going to work again and but now not guilty so does he get his own show it's a good question what well the other thing is for a little longest time Chicago has been thought to be a place that is like a you know what things can happen there you can make happen right is that a fair way to say it I love Chicago I don't want to be disparaging but there's been some some cases of corruption oh yeah no I mean that's where I was raised it'll vary a coral place most of our mayors and stuff go to jail so I don't think I'm being unfair yeah there's uh there was a scene in a movie what was the scene in the movie where someone say cago is the most corrupt big city Illinois third most state in the country mafia ties yeah that's great published February 15th so this this is recent oh my goodness yeah um I don't

69:23know man I don't know about Chicago I'd be talking out of my ass you don't I jump a little bit yeah tell me what it's like if they're cold it's very cool rough right then sometimes it's very hot right now is he it's either usually too cold and shooty are very hot and shooty and then the spring is delightful shooty that's the best verb ever judy to shooting there's a love to Judy oh that's hilarious shooty yeah it is it's way way way way way to shooty right and do you think that people is my opinion or no if you agree I think the people in colder areas like Detroit in Boston Chicago like there are different kind of people there are harder people than people that grow up like in San Diego no disrespect San Diego I'm sure a lot of your heart is but there's like a difference between people that have to shovel snow and deal with that winter and be holed up and really be freezing

70:22like we come in from outside just and you you appreciate the warmth of a nice restaurant or something like that when you walk in from out of the cold yeah shoveling snow it's windy as hell and then you got like very aggressive homeless people there yeah oh you're gonna yeah you're gonna get tougher I had the unprogrammed mat for myself when I moved from the Chicago to Oregon cuz I was a teen it was always like even my walking my walking was too slow for Oregon because I would walk and I take a look back cuz that's how my mom taught me to walk in Chicago's make sure nobody's sneaking up on you yeah and in Oregon they didn't have they didn't had that concern yeah that's a weird way for a kid to grow up to man it always be worrying about danger hmm but of stranger things about that is that it's very hard for people to get over that hump it's a very hard for people to

71:19just calm down after they've been in a bad environment for a long time you get wired a certain way mm-hmm and even though you're in a new place now and everything's calm you're still looking out you're still thinking this could go sideways mm-hmm you've seen people go sideways yeah yeah that's why it's hard to be in a relationship with me something I miss about when it was snowing and you would go outside and it would be silent you didn't hear anything it was one of some of my favorite times living in Boston or Newton where I was I lived right across the street from the Charles River and there was like this big grassy area in front my house and you just look at all the white it would just be all white snow and it muffled everything like it looks so it was sound insulation for everything you didn't hear you know that feeling Jamie you grew up in Columbus you know when

72:10you get a like a big snowstorm it's why it's like it's just like sound deadening everywhere there's no hard edges anymore everything is covered with snow it feels good it would feel good you know it feel like this is nice as long as you have food as long as you know it's gonna go away long as the plows are still running as long as you have either firewood or a backup generator or something sometime that electricity cuts out yeah and then everyone gets scared not holes up together mm-hmm I remember that episode of I Love Lucy ah did you ever have that happen yeah no I did terrifying I did too everybody does if you live in a place where it snows at some point in time the power goes out I remember these guys in Toronto were telling me their power went out for two weeks and it was crazy cold like in the zeros and below zero and they were doomed I mean there

73:04was ice everywhere and I said me the power lines fall down they had you know like frozen rain had come and covered everything when ice and things were breaking off and power was out and like blocks and blocks and blocks and all these people in the dead of winter in a city were in danger mmm a scary scary man because you you mean my only firewood you'll have a place to burn it you're in a goddamn apartment building what are you gonna do everybody's freezing no one's gonna help you phone doesn't work there's no power of you think about a lot though right cuz you always talk about that like we're so coddled with you know our I thought about the thin veneer of civilization that's what I think about and what I think about it more than anything is from natural disasters that's what I think about I think about the potential for natural disasters there's this it

73:54can happen at any moment and most people have no preparation for it whatsoever they have no idea what they would do it just seems that if you if you're paying attention to history at all you know that this happen it happens all the time it almost just happened that one that you were you pulled up the other day that happened in December some asteroid that blew up in our atmosphere that had five times the power of Hiroshima ten times ten times the power of Hiroshima blows up in our VAT our atmosphere man that hits that hits Chicago right in the face that can happen I mean it's happened all over the world before mm-hmm it's a there's a total possibility that we can get hit with a chunk of iron the size of a ocean liner and it just slams into a city and nukes that city that happens I think that does it bother you or that make you more free uh I would lie to you so it makes you more it makes

74:55me more free I don't think that's true though I think it definitely makes me sound paranoid but I've thought about that a lot and it's just I'm just being accurate but it also I'm a pretty uh pretty involved yes I try to be pretty present try to be pretty here you know as much as I can and so if you're here like if you're present and you're aware of all these things it's just a slippery or grip on present you could still be present and we're like this isn't gonna last this whole thing is gonna last these people are building buildings right next to the goddamn ocean the oceans rising you know it's there's a real possibility that rocks are gonna slam into this any day now or a hundred years from now or five years from now nobody knows but one day it's gonna happen it's gonna be boom and the earth is gonna ring for a million years that's what happens nice I mean I'm okay with that

75:52cuz out of my control in that regard it's a good way to look at it mm-hmm but it's also seems like horseshit because this world seems very permanent this moment seems very permanent life seems very real it's been real my whole life every day I get up life is real you know I don't you know this too shall pass right you know you got it you always know nothing is true I think that's one of the biggest life lessons I had by having a night most stable childhood moving around a lot and bouncing around to different schools in different states where I was like I learned very quickly that things aren't permanent I learned also that things are very relative to whatever area you are that's what really helped me I think helped my voice as a comedian now is that I've learned very young that like what school is very relative to wherever you are you know the things that were cool in Chicago

76:47people weren't on in Oregon things that were cool in Oregon or like Greece you know beat up in Chicago yeah so I learned very quickly to just be like oh man just joy what I do and just like what I'm about it's um it really helped my life be more more peaceful in that way and that's why I let you know 36 year old man homes a ton of wrestling action figure yeah that's half of the life is trying to find the balance between being satisfied and being motivated and being happy and just being again it's being present you know just finding out what you actually enjoy just doing it just do that thing you know well kind of wrestling action figure it and that's where the path is you think of that thing would be like comedy but then you also learn that you can't you can overdose on that you can be over because that's the thing I learned like when I was started headlining and then I you

77:48hear these stories and when I was younger when I clean greg Giraldo died or patrice died and i just get these parts where my men that's like and obviously all due respect to them not as I said but I was like I don't want to die on the road like that's not how I wanna ya live my life I don't want be found in some hotel somewhere I want Mike my family around me and want people who care about me and and that really made me be like okay I have to think about more than just like each individual set I have to start thinking about what do I want to give back what do i what do I want to do bigger than that like do what do I want to do if I just want to do the road for fun if I just want to like if I want to move into something else one might but son 16 he's gonna be going hopefully they'll be going to college soon and I want to be like I wanna be able to spend

78:37more time with him yeah you know yeah your your life as a comic you know it often times I find that guys go through these stages and then the first stage kind of feel like an imposter feel like a fraud you know you feel like like you know I'm not really that good at this and then you you get to a stage where you feel like a professional you feel you're a professional you start to take put more responsibility on your work you know for me I think that's right around wanted to have with me somewhere around 10 years in I decided like yeah I gotta treat this like I'm an actual professional and stop off I was i off a lot I went through periods of years where I didn't write anything or I just was really lazy and I had the same sex I was doing TV show and got sitcom stuff and this wasn't wasn't working on the act at all but it's just such a more energised time right now in comedy you

79:32know guys like Santino like we're talking about all these guys that are coming up all every having all this good comedy around you it's almost like like it raises everybody's vibration like the whole the whole community like is the better everybody gets instead of how everybody used to approach it where everybody was competing against each other and then you kind of like you have weird feelings when you around each other now everything's like a different kind of odd yeah it's a healthy competition and one thing I'm really liking is a change of the presentation of people being more cognizant of like I want to present like just dressing up more you know looking nicer not necessarily trying to like suit up or anything but I see more and more posters or more and more things where the people are clearly putting work into their graphic design and their heart are even

80:28and I don't want to speak for female comedians at all but like I'm just noticing a trend more where women are being not who used to be either like I am the hot girl or like I'm just a dude like you don't don't worry I might be hot but you wouldn't know because I'm wearing a hoodie you know and now there's just more of these women being like I'm just me and so I might be hot but that's not a part of this you know and I see that a lot now but they'll still go out there and no put out their posters where they're like in a bikini or whatever you know cause it's like why wouldn't you write like just like when I go and I wear a suit you know but I love seeing people more take charge of that and of what they're presenting and not just because I mean that's how I used to dress all the time which is where a big purple hoodie or whatever you know but now more like I want to look more like I

81:18guess I'm like a star well there's definitely something that I'm you know I remember the Martin Lawrence days when he was on top knee where those crazy outfits onstage or Eddie Murphy and raw we wear this crazy leather jumpsuit you know like he put a lot of effort into what he was gonna wear it delirious that was another one like Eddie Murphy had these crazy costumes you could only wear if you were doing stand-up in a lot of ways I mean it was the ultimate Eddie Murphy costume you know I'm saying like if you really think about like am sure listen I read yeah yeah like with Kinison what do you picture you picture the beret you picture the overcoat the picture the white sneaker is like it was his crazy outfit yeah like kind of a like you would kind of expected that look from him but with Eddie Murphy's Eddie Murphy was like you know leather like colored leather and you know it was very

82:06powerful it was very bold which was like his comedy you know it was like letting you know it this is a special night is it now he doesn't dress like this every day yeah this is yeah he's on stage doing a show like that yeah yeah I like it when just people think about the full presentation I've been even doing that with like the playlist that the club plays before my show like I've been setting that up now because I want a vibe of mostly fish I got a piss so bad so I want to keep going though I don't want to stop so I just did two podcast and Rona drank too much coffee so Jamie once you guys talk about something you have in common all right okay drama can't smokes my pot yeah talk amongst yourselves okay nice welcome to the wrongful death experience writing your own podcast too right I do it's called getting better with Ron Funches we just kind of I talked to people who I

83:08admire or people who I want to learn from people who have accomplished things I want to accomplish or have gotten better in some form in their life and I ask him about it and about setting goals and stuff give or how do you just set it up that way like as a conversation or do you put more thought into like I want to ask them these kind of questions and get these kinds of things I mean there's there's some set questions I usually just ask people about about their goals and I ask them about some advice to give me but other than that it's usually just some type of freeform conversation it's just you know it's funny sometimes but for the most part it's just like the reason why I wanted to do it is because I was a big fan of like Patton Oswalt's website to spew and stuff like that when he had that and I noticed like when I was on Twitter there had been a shift

83:59from people who were like you should be very supportive of me especially when I was fatter and stuff and then it came this thing of like any time I would try to post something positive he would be like woah why the do you you who cares you got money and you and you just you know and I just wanna be like no I'm not on a different side of the fence because I did these things I'm like over here being like anybody can do it if my dumb ass did it you know so it just became more about to me like talent and success it's more like this ocean that we can all drink from and it's about like how did this person get to that ocean I don't think there's people who are talented and untalented finding out their path sort of to where ya are now even and what keeps them motivated now you know yeah like once you people have some success what why what keeps you going you know it was a

84:50question I would like to know from Joe you know well he just walked back in so maybe we can find out what keeps you motivated you're so successful you got a lot money you're doing okay everything you have see you like accomplished so many things so what what makes you go to the store on a only Tuesday night to work on stand up I don't look when you when you get successful at something the best thing that it does is alleviate stress but it doesn't change the motivation the motivation is always to create something that I like that I can be proud of that the people enjoy most importantly there's a bunch of people that watch my standup I got to work out it I don't want to be an I don't want to be that guy that you come to see my show and you go ha heard he prepare he didn't care he didn't try you know thank you I'm not gonna be that so I look we all have bad sets all have bad sets I'll try

85:47I try my best though I try my best and I'm gonna keep trying my best because I think if I don't I leave I leave doubt in my own head that shouldn't be there if I do my best and it just doesn't work I have to figure out what was wrong mm-hmm but if I don't do my best it doesn't work you feel like yeah that's true but I think that um I still feel like even if it doesn't work and I did my best failure rather than a loser yeah but I think when I was younger doing comedy my 20s and May it might have just been a Portland thing there was always kind of this vibe of like I didn't try my best if I tried my best I would have crushed it but I didn't try my best so I didn't really fail yeah that's a trap that a lot of comics get into when they are in front of a small crowd no more that yeah Damron goes deep and one of the those moments when you're a young comic or

86:56someone says something to you and it really gives you a nice boost like you feel great about it and one time I was at the store and it was maybe like 12 or 13 people in the audience the most was like yeah no I'll keep going it was Paul Mooney who's in the back of the room and he's 12 or 13 people I'm just doing my act and Mooney starts laughing hard like a supportive laugh like he's with you huh and then he came up to me off the show something to do something to extent of you're a real comic like that's what makes you real comic you do those real shows in front of all those people you know you do a real show yeah you don't you don't like say oh there's only 10 people all the way I think you know I sit you out there and do your best yeah that's the man there's always just so much to learn that's weapon learning to get out of like every set is the same and like it is my material and

87:56I've been on that for a little bit but knowing how to shift my energy for like that like you do want to be professional for that those ten people but you're not gonna do the same like yelling energy as if they were a hundred people you're gonna be a little more intimate you know ya gonna make it more of a conversation and that's what I'm really learning to do now watching um I think for a lot of comedians but did that Garry Shandling documentary that still haven't seen it so it really helped me what about me a mindful about being in the moment so I've been really like whenever I write a setlist now I usually number it and has like a couple words the first I was right number one for as long as possible cuz I don't like I don't want to just get into it I wanna you know unless it's like I got 10 minutes and I have things I want to do but for the most problem

88:50like let me get in the moment let me look people in the eyes and see if I see something not necessarily going in and just crowd work and rip on people but let me um let me just go in and talk about my day for a second and then maybe that will segue into my set and so you know teaches me a new way to get into things I'm more conversational yeah again you're very jazz got a lot of jazz and you Ron that's cool that's a good way to do it because the dog always does feel abrupt when someone begins with a joke sometimes it works though I think some people can do it oh people that would go on stage and they just hammer with a first joke and from there it's off to the races like they'll open up with a non sequitur look out of nowhere yeah Jeff Ross is really good at like just changing the tempo in the room right yes yes yes he's great at it on the off the cuff you know in the spur of

89:42the moment type cuz all those years of roasting and all those years of with the crowd like and end that show they're doing him in a towel or traveling and doing that bumping mic show where they just they just around man I mean it's crazy did ya get for those people that's what crazy about what that really opens your mind about again what this job can be but you could literally just travel with your friend and around and sell out yeah it's amazing it's amazing it's a crazy gig man it's crazy gig when you start out in Chicago what club were you at I didn't start in Chicago I was a I was a young man I left when I was 13 cousin mom my mom was in like she's in a little- relationship so I went to go live with my dad in Oregon and he was also a negative thing so and then I started comedy in Portland Oregon when I was 23 a Harvey's comedy club there and and then doing some shows in Salem at

90:43this Chinese food restaurant called Lucky fortune and and then I just started some shows there and you know struggle for a long time and then think about five five years in I got asked to do Conan and then it was new face and then got divorced and then was like alright I moved to Los Angeles and now you just I have my son here and she's been me and him and now my girlfriend and my mom now lives with me in the last year but yeah that's pretty much it that sounds cool and you know is there a scene in Portland we started when I started it was pretty much like there had been the Seattle has a scene yeah there have been a bit of a like an OG scene of like I'm not familiar with like Dwight Slade and Jules and rice and then not really much there's just a lot based off of Road gigs triple runs going to Idaho that's right everybody was talking with those tribal runs yeah we had

91:49something similar which is not as exciting because you guys were going through the Wild West I mean you come to Montana Idaho no not me oh not me with the people that did it the people who did it I was didn't seem lucky at the time but it would turn out in hindsight to be very lucky that the one time that Booker saw me I just a hardcore and so they have nothing to do with me and it turned out to be the best thing because then I was in this position where I was like okay well I'm not gonna get Idaho's shows so I don't have to pander to that type of audience and yeah I'm just gonna be here and so I can right now it's really just like oh just write what you like and that turned out to be the the best thing for me dude you could perform in Boise they would love you oh I end up I have yeah it's for know I love Boise it's like Portland and it's a very unusual place it's almost like I

92:47hate talking about it I don't want to give out their spot no they got a good little comedy scene building over there yeah there's well I think because the internet there's a comedy scene almost in every city people find a way to get together and do somethings just it seems like too much of an exciting option for people who are fuck-ups and there's so many of us so many of us you know in one way or another there's so many you know one one form of up or another there's so many of us yeah that's true I mean I don't know if that's necessarily the true first that the way that is set up for it is to go the structure that is natural just doesn't work as much anymore it made more sense in the past you know I mean also its own and shown to not be sound because that's the thing that trips me out now it's like when I was a kid who was drilled in my head from my mom was get a good government

93:40job get a good government job and now that seems like the most unsteady job you could have you know that just cut your department yeah you never know yeah and so one thing I learned the stand-up taught me quickly was that it's the same stress you know but now I'm in charge the stress of paying my bills the stress of taking care of my son is the same whether I'm working for somebody else or I'm working for myself but at least when I'm working for myself I'm in charge right you know and as long as I have a product that I can put out if I'm if I don't have anything then I guess I gotta go work for somebody if I had something I'd rather have that stress be put on me then had someone just show up one day and be like we're out of business fine find someplace else to work oh yeah and you're 60 yeah yeah and they just cut your whole department well didn't I mean every single politician

94:36gets in the office they want to cut certain departments right there's always someone that thinks something's being overfunded yeah yeah they're just talking about cutting social security and food stamps and it's like that seems like the last thing we need right now yeah if you can make things if it seems like if you could make things this is like one of the to be on your own because you could sell things on the internet you could sell things in a way that no one could ever sell before like you could set up like an online store you don't have to have a physical location and you can just you know if you make something if you're an artist if you're you make pottery or some you could sell things that you create online but it's pretty easy to do now like this is a place where people can actually like oh well if I just did this if I figured out a way to do that I'm

95:25working for myself mm-hmm I just do it whatever I want to sell things people like it they put it in their house and then a lot of people can go in that direction it's not I mean there's people that just aren't creative and they're not interested in it but there's a lot of people who are and for those people who are just have a little bit of creativity that they maybe never really nurtured because it would work too much find a way find a way find a way to get through with that yeah man plus you know who you are because you if you if you're content and how your job is going anyway you're fine you know you're not even thinking about that but if you're upset and you're like oh I hate this job I hate what's going on my life you know that that usually that might be the case and people love to say that's easy for you to say it's easy for you to say you guys are both already successful it's

96:10very hard get started I get it I get it it is already 100% I get it but don't think like that just try to find a way through the more time you spend thinking on it that's easy for you you know it's hard for me the more time you do that the less time you're thinking of an actual solution yeah you see that I see that all especially even like with my weight loss and stuff anymore there are like oh you could say that you got you got a trainer and it's just like I still had I still had to be the guy that vomited you know I still had to be the guy that worked myself so hard that I threw up and still went back you know it's like on the ground or did you make it to a trash the trash can not at wrestling at wrestling tag is on the ground Oh No yeah well then they made me clean it up and I'm like part of the kid yeah it really was you can't be puking mm-hmm yeah man if you're working out to

97:05the point of puke and that's intense well you know when my body was coming from a places such an activity yeah how long do you think it took you for you to adjust to a constant state of activity mmm probably six months that's a great thing though that you have the discipline to do that that's a great thing really is it's um it's an underappreciated thing because it's I think it's easy for me to keep doing what I'm doing I always do it it's part of my natural way of doing it but to not exercise and then decide you're gonna clean your diet up and you're gonna start exercising and you're gonna continually do it even though you're exhausted because your body's not really prepared for this so you must have had a long period of like for a couple weeks at least well you're like having your body try to respond to this where it didn't have to do this before and now you're making it

97:51stress out all the time and it's got to recover and then you stress it out and it's kind of recover and then your body's like what the dude what is happening here mm-hmm this our new life yeah yeah no that was pretty much yeah you get in you nailed it I love to take to lose to get to where I am now but to where you started feeling comfortable with like normal exercise on a regular basis or extraneous exercise strenuous exercise again I think it'd be about about about six months of where I am and then also just so their weight goals you know I was about 360 when we started and then getting under 350 was just like a real difference and then when I got under 300 that was a big deal and then when I got her 250 then now like now I'm about 220 and anytime I go over 225 I can fill it and my knees again and because I had to take a little break for a few weeks and but now and

98:52that was really big on my mind of because I was like oh I have to take a break for three weeks am I gonna just blow up again you know and going through that and seeing that I can keep my diet and keep my nutrition and that I got a little less defined but I wasn't I didn't blow up and I was like okay that made me relax a little bit more and it's helped me as far as my comedy are dealing with executives and stuff where I am very much like oh I did that like I can I can figure things out I can I have the discipline if I really set my mind to something I can usually do it yeah that's a it's a giant accomplishment and people undermine it because they feel like it doesn't mean as much because you let yourself get to that weight and I think it's a silly way of looking at it because I am a firm believer that many of us who are feeling really good about life and having a great time here are

99:53very very lucky in their circumstance very lucky in in in the people you're around the positive influences in your life the good things very lucky because can be really not good when things are really not good and people go down a spiral whether it's with booze and cigarettes and heroin or whether it's with food or whether it's with alcohol or whether it's whatever the pills you can go down a spiral its who out of the person that is in the bottom of the spiral who can pull themselves out could you if you had to start from there instead of starting from a place of success and this is why I think people get cocky you wake up every morning like oh I guess everything's okay you know my life's not in the share instead think of what it would be like if you woke up and you were 380 pounds and this is your new life your new life is you got to get down from 380 pounds to about 220 pounds

100:51you got to figure out how to do that and you've got to figure out how to not lapse when you're aching with hunger you got to figure out how how your body has no energy it doesn't know how to recover it never gets pushed and you have to push it through that and you have to do that to the tune of a hundred and sixty pounds so wait man that's a lot of way most people are not gonna be able to do that it's a lot of weight to lose how long that take you about about two and a half years that's a no matter what that's an accomplishment man you know and it's something that I think that when people hear that you did that people realize like I can do that too I can do that that can be done yeah that's been one of the best things about it and what actually keeps me on it is when I get people reaching out to me like when I post pictures from the pastor and now and they're like man like you know in

101:52some ways it used to piss me off cuz if people being like oh if you can do it then I can definitely do it but now it's like it's very motivating yeah it's your set an example you know you you you do something and then people because you're in the public eye and you do this thing they see you do it they watch it happen you know I mean it's one of the cooler things about it like you go in real time you could see you two years ago you could see you now I mean it's crazy we did it you know and when people see that they and it's not like I'm if you've heard that a guy lost 400 pounds who like wow that's amazing but if you see a guy and you watch them on a regular basis and he's 400 pounds and then all sudden he loses all that way you're like what look at him watch him do it you see him do it something about people needing to see like we need to see someone else do

102:49it and then we go I can do that mmm you know yeah would you ever even imagine if you didn't know that people ran marathons or ultra marathons would you ever even imagine that you would want to just run a hundred miles no you'd be like what the are you talking about no one's doing that but then you hear about it and you see it and oh I still don't want to do you still don't want to do it but it changes your idea of what people do yeah yeah what's capable right so when a guy like you loses all that way it changes people's idea of what if they maybe identify with you it changes their idea about what they're capable of they change their opinion of themselves based on you pulling your life together in an awesome way publicly nice yes thank you - that's dope that's that has a powerful impact on people you know there's gotta be a lot of dudes out there and gals that are

103:48trying to figure the out of the hole they dug themselves in you know they like how did I get out of this mm-hmm like how do i Jesus Christ I hate being tired all the time no that's one of my that's one of the things I love I talk about a lot of my podcast is and I tried cuz people don't know me you know and like I'm on Twitter if I'm like if I try to give advice or things or I'm not really advice to try and be positive people go like you were talking about like what do you know what do you care you were on a TV show and I have to go like you don't know my history you don't know where I came from you don't know that I'm like I'm a single dad of a kid with a disability I take care of him myself I was poor as crap I had three weeks of a college community college education and I had one slightly like it was like oh I gotta pull my life together for this son who

104:39is different from other people and I don't know if he's ever gonna be able to live on his own or have his own job or I had to prepare for not at the preparer that he does if he needs help I had to prepare for all these things and it really motivated me and it pushed me forward and I like - now for some reason I I don't know if it's like survivor's remorse or whatever I'm always like man I feel like so many people can do that you know not necessarily comedy or whatever but I always feel like people have their own gifts they have their own talents and sometimes we're not told that we're not pushed in those directions or sometimes where we go through traumas or things in our lives that damn our light you know and I like to be like you anybody can do it because I'm a testament to that because I should not be here well you you should because you chose the right

105:34path this is what's really critical about this kind of what we you know we talk about people's future or what they can and can't do one of the beautiful things about stand-up is that it's a meritocracy oh you're really funny people love you you know like that's we just want to know are you funny hey is that guy funny he's funny come on in is she funny she's funny okay come on in with just that's it and I don't know of that many other jobs where it's that clear hmm there's a lot of jobs in you gotta suck that corporate dick you gotta be in the office with Satan going what the am I doing with my life I don't want to be here you know I'm writing down goals I just want to do coke I want to get a Ferrari this job you know that's what a lot of it is man is a lot of like weird angst you know and then you get stuck in this corporate ladder or you get muted you get toned down there's no

106:29there's no deviation from the the standard office worker path you know you're in this weird groove where as a stand-up all you got to do is make the people laugh all you got to do is find that that's funny work on it make people laugh get out there get out there boom boom boom holy you gotta go see Ron Funches oh people start talking people start telling other friends the next thing you know there's agents there's managers you keep going you keep going you keep getting better oh my god you're on TV look at you keep going keep going keep going if you just keep going and working at it like nobody tells us what to do it's beautiful but not everybody can get that gig so then there's other gigs like what gig do you take well it seems like you should take the gig where you make a lot of money but that's not the move it's not the move unless you can you can be sure that

107:14you can quit that gig in a short period of time because nobody ever does Yeah right Trapp jobs I always would put them and they had a lot of them weren't where I grew up with this is this bank call center where I was working because it was the only place this tiny town not many jobs like unless you were if you didn't have a college education you were working at a subway you were gonna Sam Goody or are you working at the and you were making like 20 bucks an hour you're making like double what you're making at this subway but there's no skills that transfer so if you want to leave this job you got you going back to Subway you know so a lot of people end up trapped there and I knew right away I was like I gotta get out I can't I mean a I'm not a bank guy so you know that's a trap trap man I remember when I was a kid I was working at this place called Newport Creamery it was an ice

108:08cream store like they sold ice cream and hamburgers and like that and there was a bank that was like right next door and I would always go in the bank with my Newport Creamery check and deposit it I'd say hi this lady and then one day I heard she had the baby in the toilet and then left it in a garbage bin and no one even knew she was pregnant and it was one of those like what like we had just a window into madness like right next door to where we were working really what that lady that we always said hi to the lady got pregnant didn't tell anybody and gave birth in the bathroom at work and put the baby in a dumpster dude I wish you hadn't led with this was a bank story what was a bank story and it was just a person person working she could she could have it in a cupcake shop it was just this was a person this is a person who was mad they were a crazy person right you have to be you

109:10would have to be a crazy person where no one knows you're pregnant and then you give birth in a bathroom and the baby whines I've been a dumpster it's like that is that's the most insane I've ever heard in my life yeah and that was like right next door to the ice cream place and we were all like whoa it's like the fabric the fabric of reality had rippled we realized what someone can be that crazy in your town in your town right there a night at your town oh man he said I got a nice town now was a nice town what I mean it was a very idyllic yeah it sounds pretty sheltered up until yeah people put in babies and things well just it was it wasn't a big place you know and when something would go wrong it would be odd you know you knew the person you know I know it shelter it is because you worked at a place called Creamery Newport Creamery yeah yes you did what even ice

110:06cream shelter shelter does beautiful I wanna do that I wanna make that have a reality from my my sons no it was a nice place to grow up um and I had lived in Jamaica Plain before that which was much much worse neighborhood it was sketchy we lived there for about a year and then we it was my parents like we gotta get the out of here like people breaking into cars and while you're sleeping and how home break-ins and it was just a lot of crime especially in like 1978 or whatever the it was I guess it was like Haiti yeah so then we moved to Newton which is nice my parents still right yeah yeah they're still together my step my stepdad and my mom are still together they've been together since I was a little kid they're a nice couple have a good time together yeah I uh you know do you ever wonder what you're gonna be like when you're like a 75 year old man yeah what do you think

111:05then be cool as I mean I don't give a mostly now imagine later right even less just saying all types of stuff I see it in my mom you know my mom so especially it's fun because I can take her to like random events that I go to and she just I try to be cool you know cuz I'm working and she has none of that cuz she doesn't care like my mom sexually harassed Justin Timberlake once it was great she went right security was about to take her out learn it was so she just doesn't care have you ever had our guest on your podcast yeah yeah she was the second guess her the first guest second episode yes yeah my mom yeah I learned a lot from my mom she's super dope and now she's uh smoking a lot of pot and just she lived out Oh as she lives with you know yeah pool house yeah did you get depressed in in Portland with the weather to freak out yeah you did seasonal

112:06depression there easily yeah people say it's real they say even if you take vitamin D and sit in a tanning bed yeah means I'll show you those lights and all those things so she doesn't do it though does it no not when you're doing with three months of straight gray it's the rain not just great I think it whoa cuz this is lack of color palette in your life yes you don't get the vibrance yeah yeah that when the ocean looks like a dull gray yeah even the ocean looks tired like right as opposed to like if you go to Mexico like I went to Cancun way back in the day and the first thing I noticed like how the is the ocean that color like look how pretty it yeah it's like a blueish green it's gorgeous yeah have you ever been to the French Riviera No oh my god one time when and yeah same thing they have with pebble beaches the sand which is horrible but but the water is so beautiful is crazy

113:13yeah I grew up in that town which was next to the Charles River and that Charles River went all the way through Boston and the Charles River was like disgusting man like you'd see condoms floating in it and you'd see I saw one pipe and these bubbles were coming up to the surface I was like what the is that and then I saw a condom bubble up and I went oh my god it's a sewer pipe and I realized someone was just flushing their and piss right into the goddamn River oh how did this happen and I was you know 14 and I'm like wow is this like how how am i finding this like you don't have any money likes checking to see if the pipe he's writing a goddamn River like oh my god it was crazy so wasn't clean by any stretch of the imagination so to see that kind of clean pure like ocean water where like you were you ever heard of bone fishing do you know what that is

114:07it's a type of fishing that people do it's I think they mostly just catch and release oh I don't think they even keep most of them but they go to Florida and the think the Bahamas wanna see the Bahamas and they on these like special boats that are like these boats you can stand on and they're fly-fishing for this fish that looks like it belongs in the Stone Age this weird cool-looking fish called the bone fish see if you get a picture of it I don't know why we're talking about this that's how I am yeah that's cool is that a bone fish it looks more like a barracuda that's a bone fish see that's a bone fish that other one was a barracuda I think they just had a bad photo you see the difference like it's it's a crazy-looking fish man and see that water behind them it's hard to tell from this image but what we're looking at is really shallow water like at the most

115:01it's like three feet deep right and they're just casting out and they see these fish coming towards them and they catch it it's supposed to be like super super exciting you do a lot of fishing I don't do a lot of fishing but I love fishing it's fun but this is fun like I would assume I've haven't done this kind of fishing bone fishing but that's what people people love like seeing a fish coming and going and biting your lure like it's very exciting yeah it's a thick thing but look how clear that goddamn water is nose no there's no condoms just bone fish I was watching a video today of a guy jumping with scuba gear on into the garbage patch it's a male in the Pacific Ocean you know I knew I knew that it's supposed to be like horrific but lets you when you see it in a video you watching just go what the is this this guy put scuba gear on it jumped into this I mean it was plastic you

115:53couldn't see anything but plastic everywhere you look to the left and the right was all plastic like this is huge like look several States large yeah this this is what humans are doing to the ocean this is this is a would you see him jump in and it's almost did they show them jump in or is this a different video this is different this is a different video because the other one the guy starts out on the boat and dives in and the what he dives into is just like plastic soup it's disgusting man it's crazy yeah like this um so there's this guy that we had on the podcast name is Boyan slot and he created a device that he's using to try to pull the plastic out of the ocean and they'll maybe convert that plastic into know things that we can use and they're I don't think it worked on the first attempt but they're they're relaunching it right didn't he they had to do

116:53something to fix things there you know still in like sort of the prototype stage but it's gonna have these machines or this giant Nets that move around through the ocean casually that yeah just kinda stop it from getting fish that's a very good question I don't think there's any fish living in there I bet a lot of fish have eaten that stuff though guaranteed there's probably a lot of fish with plastic in their stomachs oh yeah man that's gross I mean what what kind of gets in their system and then when you eat that fish what kind of are you getting in your system like how many people were testing their fish mm-hm you know I mean how many people are before they eat a Sam and they're like hold on let me check for mercury let me see how much arsenic's in this so you're kind of heavy metal' party what sets up BP B's that they're worried about that come from what is the stuff

117:43they're worried about their comes from bottles yeah BPA's or some like bathrooms right yeah wish I knew what that meant yes they did run their first results from November I don't know he's saying also this is their first their first actual pulling of the garbage you know listen man even if it takes 10 years if if they could figure out a way to to get rid of all that plastic and we could figure out a way to not put that plastic in the ocean we can maybe what I really worried about almost as much as this maybe even more is overfishing when you realize how many different ships are out there using giant Nets and just scooping everything they catch inside that net and then just serving it to us and we're like who you want to get sushi yeah sushi sounds good you know we're like so close sushi sounds good it's ocean genocide I mean it's chaotic man did they

118:41don't have real I mean they don't have real control it's international waters people just cutting nets and dropping them to the bottom of the ocean and they catching things all the time there's nets all over the place out there he would just release their nets if they just litter but you're always you've been very conscious about like what you eat and like sustainability a lot lately right well I think sustainability yeah I do think about that a lot but I don't know if I'm that conscious of it I'm definitely guilty of not being sometimes hungry me unconscious about it I wish I was more cautious about cuz I'm why don't we put my faith it makes me all sad yeah I'm more conscious about what I eat than I am sustainability in terms of like what the quality of what I eat I'm more conscious about that I should be more conscious about sustainability but sometimes it

119:25feels like um what is this what are you showing me here it's out of crocodile god damn it now what is this a big big catch with the next elimination Marcus the name of the fish got 40 million views on YouTube it's a net that's full of stuff oh they caught a net oh this is Oh a net like this is a fishing boat oh Jesus yeah look at that look how it works they just scoop up every thing that's in that ocean it's really amazing that they've I mean what a horrific place to be if you're a fish imagine if fish were like super smart and this is their demise I mean this is an insane net filled with living creatures that we're gonna eat not bro it's just tilapia relax god you're kidding so dramatic look at that that's a crazy bundle of these ocean creatures and how often does this happen a day is it all day I bet it is I bet this is all day I bet this is all day for years and years and years

120:30and years and I don't think they take time off I think they keep going and if they're not there someone else is there to I think this has happening as long as they can make money selling fish and we're willing to buy fish it's kind of insane you think people ever feel bad about it make sure those people feel bad maybe it's possible they're not monsters right there they might develop well that guy just stepped right on a fish though yeah they get desensitize I'm sure man he doesn't seem like he cared at all well this is crazy I mean this is not a person supposed to be able to catch a fish or a to fish or three fish and then you eat it like this is chaos man this is some crazy thing where you have to make fillet of fish sandwiches because there's you know 320 million people and a hundred of them 100 million of them want junk food any time they want it I mean I don't know if that

121:19went to fillet a fish or if that's expensive fish I really have no idea I'm just talking don't listen to me but hey and I also eat fish so I'm a hypocrite yeah but it is kind of crazy when you watch this video and I'm not a you know I I'm not opposed to you eating fish but I'm just saying the reality of what this is is it's crazy this is a crazy scene and to not deny it's a crazy scene I'm still gonna eat fish you know I feel I feel awful about this it does slightly make me want sushi looking at this it's not when I was a server like a big question question people would always ask us at farm-raised there is a wild-caught and like if this is wild-caught versus farm-raised I don't know why I would make a giant difference it seems like that either way yeah tell no matter what for these organisms but they're delicious and they're really good for you okay but how

122:12how are they gonna ensure that there's gonna be some left that's what's crazy like the the human government's need to get together and go hey we can't kill the whole ocean because that is possible if you keep going at the pace that it's going now if you really stop and think about what the ocean must have been like when you hear about those Japanese tuna fishermen like did you see jiro Dreams of Sushi remember when those gentlemen were at the fish market and they were talking about what it used to be like it used to be tuna everywhere so much tuna and now it's like a small amount and you gotta check to see if it's good like they're watching it happening in real time if you go from that point where that guy was talking about today and then go fifty years from now at the same pace like ya know you gotta be but it seems like that it wouldn't be that hard to be

123:01more conscious about it well at the very least they have to take into consideration the fact that they need to maybe develop some sort of an international a program to breed these things yeah you know to like they've done that with yellowtail the they have these like ocean sort of almost like a like corralled in area and they're out in the ocean but they're only in this one trapped area and they're feeding them you know and occasionally they get out like to get those yellow tails in Hawaii there was a storm the storm wrecked their little enclosure and they got out now they're everywhere so all these hamachi grade like sushi-grade yellowtail are swimming around all over the place outside of Hawaii and they're breeding and they're getting bigger guys it's crazy it's interesting but but I was thinking when they were telling me that well so if that's what they did

123:49like maybe they should do that and just keep releasing them maybe we should be a program that all the people who buy sushi fund into that just takes a little piece of the sushi money and uses it to develop these programs to make sure that these fish keep breeding so you can have more sushi I think people will pay extra for that didn't they then they would feel good yeah I feel better me you hoping out yeah that's what I think we can leave this next next next next generation they have a real good possibility of like making things work out better I really think that like it's totally possible I think it's possible that the world is gonna keep getting better and better and there's gonna be terrible things but it's gonna keep getting better and better and then we'll be able to come to some kind of time in our future worth seems like things have improved I agree

124:38with you I think we're headed towards the age of a new golden era new enlightenment because and I think a lot of times these things that we think are negative are kind of indicators of that because these are things a lot of these negative things we talked about we're happening either way but now we're more aware of them and people fight them and people are more upset about them and they're more public because the things are social like social media and I think that's a positive not a negative that people aren't able to pull the wool over your eyes as easily yeah I think what's really interesting about this time is that you got so many people that are able to communicate whether it's yourself or Diaz or Ari Shaffir or Marc Maron or whoever these people are that have these podcasts so many people have this ability to communicate so many people have this ability to you know you show

125:35the life you let you show your world in like a different way and everybody gets to compare all these different ways that people are communicating and we kind of like come to maybe a better understanding of why we think the way we think in which I think especially one of the reasons why I'm so hell-bent on having people be reasonable and try to talk to each other so I think that everybody could learn something from each other in this world whether you're left or right or in the center or religious or atheist or whatever there's two minutes too much conflict that's unnecessary there's too much of what people are aren't that has nothing to do with you and you should be able to talk about politics or even religion and be completely calm about it and not be angry and not get emotional and childlike but we're programmed to think you're supposed to we're programmed to

126:24think that every conversation about something you disagree with it's supposed to be this angry battle of a one-upsmanship and I don't think it has to be I think it does no I mean there's certain issues that like where you're like oh I don't want to argue over my like civil rights or things like that you know you're like yeah I don't want it like okay well you you you don't think I'm a full person okay let's have a point-counterpoint there's issues like that but I think now so many things get wrapped up in politics that people do forget to be civilized and do forget that we've always disagreed and we've always had different sides and that's what's made us a country you know is the fact that we were opposed to take the like you said the mix of those conversations and that's the way that we kind of head in you know that's the way we find out who we really are as opposed

127:20to who our side is painting the other side ass you know and I feel like what I meant by people like being able to get along as you can have opposing thoughts and still be a nice person I want it if you're like a really super can see Servat of person like sometimes I want to know why like I don't want to oppose you as much as I want to know why I want to know what you're thinking like what what is what's pushing you in this direction what what makes you think this as opposed to if you were a really progressive person what makes you think this like what's going on like that that conversation can be had in a way more peaceful way or maybe we could all examine why we think about things a certain way and I've been thinking about a lot when it comes to religions lately this we're so tense about religions so tense lately and if it's not for like kids getting abused or

128:15Wars getting started over it the vast majority of it is just a guideline for people to live their life and if you take that away from them or tell them that that's bad for them I tell them they can't live that way then then you've created this conflict that's really not your business mm-hmm right in a lot of ways I didn't think like that before I used to think before that like that's not what I believe so you know these people there must be something wrong with the way they're thinking hmm well that's a lot of times that's what certain organized religions paint it as right like yeah if you aren't believed if you don't believe you're not even you can have same branch of like Christianity or whatever but it's like oh if you're not Protestant at this then you're not following it completely ER and to me it was always so many of these rules end up just being

129:04like hey be a nice person yeah don't don't be a jerk don't murder people that you know they're those are kind of constants with all those things where you're like that's something I can take from you but to judge someone else's life based off of their sexual orientation or something of anything that that to me never drives you are so I'm always like I'm open to whatever you want whatever makes you not be a jerk mmm I'm for yeah no I'm I'm with you 100% I remember the first time I found out there was other religions like I don't know I was raised a Catholic when I was a little kid and I found out there was other things other than being a Catholic I was like what are you talking about it's like there's other things because my uncle was convert to Judaism and so I was like what does that mean he's gonna become Jewish like what does that mean like what are you

129:56talking about I was like you know five or something like that I was like wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute wait you could check there's different ones like what do they think who's right I remember being like six years old going there's more than one story do you have to follow and we're not sure that's right and my uncle is gonna switch over the other story now he believes a different story I can't believe this he's got an adjusted story and you know you fall into this pattern now you're in this just this story's pattern like well you know we lost him to the Marvel Universe DC Comics for so long he was all about Batman and Superman and now he's like them I'm with the Avengers crazy that's the fun way to look at it it's an interesting way of looking at it without being disrespectful to either side it's like wow okay you know I don't know who's right we know who makes better

130:45movies yes yeah the choose do an excellent job it's amazing how much they've been involved in show business you know when I'm watching that marvelous mrs. Mazal it makes you realize like oh yeah Lenny Bruce is Jewish this guy was Jewish that guy was Jewish there's so many Jewish guys in the early days of stand-up ya know mafia you know the same time there's a lot of Jewish boxers back then too so the thing that people probably don't know it was they were a underclass in a lot of ways or you know and like that's like now it's Russians like you get a lot of Russian boxers now badass Russian stood hard men hard men because they're they're coming over here from a hard place and they're people up you know and it's like one day it'll be someone else it's it's interesting how it goes in these waves you know yeah but whatever country is not doing well yeah and um it's

131:40interesting when you see the waves of stand-ups come out of these countries to you know like like there's different styles of stand-up now in different parts of the world you know ik stand-up is really a global thing now legitimately go English guys have their own style yeah you know there's a lot of those guys like I've never been to Edinburgh but Ari Shaffir goes all the time he's like do they have like oh they'll do these hours on just a subject yeah thought all these themes yeah exactly different vibe different style lot let's um rowdy well it's um boisterous people listening they're great at listening we did Sweden and we played Stockholm me and 20-inch cliff and Tony was like dude it's just like they didn't like me I gonna know they're just polite I go in between the jokes they're just quiet they're listening you're not used to that he's like okay

132:32okay okay and he went out the second bite he's like you're right you're right they're just so nice yeah I thought something was wrong but if I'll put in for your timing because it makes you have to have more material because you're used to like waiting for a few sec what's also you know that's it's it's not I don't think it's a that common art form over there I don't think they have a long history of having stand-up in Sweden do that not that I'm aware I mean maybe they do and we don't know but for whatever it is it's a it's diminutive in comparison to any of the places that we you know that have scenes whether it's New York scene you know la has seen San Francisco there's like some big scenes here where you know funny guys and girls who've come out of these scenes you don't hear like a lot of guys from Sweden do you know yeah but they're starting to get more of them

133:25there's get more of them everybody all around the world started getting more comedy it's really it's an interesting time in that way it's very similar to jiu-jitsu you know jiu-jitsu at one point in time there's only a few places you get it outside of Brazil it was hard to find someone who's really good at teaching it now it's everywhere now it's in New Zealand and Australia it's in Africa it's everywhere there's jiu-jitsu Oh Canada and the puerto rico's jiu jitsu everywhere all over the world cuba everyone has jiu-jitsu you know it's just spread I found out it was awesome that could be the same with standing then it forms back into the practice right everybody's doing new styles 100% and everyone is like there's a real accelerated learning growth from the time where it starts getting put on the internet which is like around like 95 96 on the internet

134:11kind of becomes alive from that point on people comparing jujitsu techniques and watching matches and then you know new gyms opening up all around America in particular it's like the whole level the sport went through the roof it's crazy like that yeah I think yeah I think that's very similar comedy because I think a lot of my personal growth was I was able to do because I was able to watch so much comedy and also I was able to get on the internet and read about a lot of comedy and in Twitter and YouTube or Twitter was just starting and YouTube was going like watch a lot watching the videos with you would you and then see those things you know and a lot of that stuff informed my comedy at an early early age about like making a style or just how I wanted to write for myself because when you're especially when you're first starting a lot of what will work when

135:03you're first starting will set you up for failure later as far as like pandering to people or writing for these rowdy rooms or bar rooms you know and and those things don't work when you go to travel and so if I didn't have like the internet or the all these things to watch to go like oh don't worry about this time don't worry about this local scene as much because you don't want to be a local act you know and that was that was very helpful for me and that's it ya know for me too man I know exactly what you're saying yeah listen man let's wrap this up thank you guys doing this tell people where can they see your special oh and get it it's called giggle fit it's available on iTunes Comedy Central on-demand Amazon your Xbox your Playstation anywhere really beautiful let's find it and your Twitter handle is that Ron Funches and I have my podcast case together Instagram is Graham Ron

136:02Funches and gentlemen Ron Funches thank you sir appreciate you man oh it was fun appreciate you Jeff