Greg Fitzsimmons

00:00oh did you do do do-do-do another episode the Richard Jeni fan club he's he's a guy that I've been telling forever is probably the most underrated stand-up in the history of stand-up I think he's like one of the all-time greats and he's got a body of work because he did a one-hour back before everybody was doing one-hour specials every year he was doing that back in the nineties oh yeah on Showtime Showtime like when I was just starting out so I think it was like 89 or 90 somewhere around the way he had a Showtime special yeah and then he had yep get a bunch HBO specials but the last one that he did before he died in 2007 that is his masterpiece really yeah it's called a steaming pile of me and I was listening to it one night coming home from a club and just laughing out loud in the car and clapping clapping I mean like god damn this guy was good yeah good I mean he was one of those guys

01:00that dressed he put on a sharp outfit yeah pleated pants you know really corny like 90s looking you know collar the collar with no you know that the rounded priest collar shirts so he was from Bensonhurst oh is that right yeah it's sort of the old-school kitty hand mentality from Brooklyn yeah and he would he would give you like remember like at least three times he would call me an hour after my set and give me taglines two bits Wow yeah and they were good he was almost like on the spectrum with that yeah totally he wouldn't look you in the eye he'd be like looking down and he'd go really fast and talk with his hands yeah and and he I think he obviously if people don't know Richard Jeni sadly committed suicide in the end and what was tough for him was that he was that good and he never really broke through he had a sitcom short-lived sitcom called platypus man that was on

02:00like one of those UPN avenges yeah and after that it was like he was a guy who used to fill up his book in January you know he was he was on the road 45 weeks a year and you know making you know a hundred grand on corporate dates 50 grand on corporate dates yeah with you know 15 of those a year yeah I'm sure he was living well but but he felt like a failure yeah and to us he was the hero yeah like I remember seeing him in East Side comedy club in New York and it was me and Joey Cola and a couple other guys I only saw one set but um kinda forget who the host was but the host said he did in different hour all four shows no she had no one what I was so humbled cuz I was like I don't even have I had 20 minutes back again I was like what how did he do that how can he do that right and they're like he's the best yeah he's but it was a weird thing it's like he came along before Netflix

03:02because if he was around today and people got to see his Netflix special yeah it's just one of those things would have caught on right but in the HBO specials you either home wanted aired or you weren't hmm you know there was no DVRs back then yeah maybe maybe set up the VHS tape to record maybe yeah I could never figure out how to get that thing to record when I wasn't there oh no I could do it now the timer unit you'd end up recording like days of our lives or something like in Golden Girls squats being written there's much older women and the scripts are written by old Jewish guys no you know I just saw menopause jokes he's one of the saddest cases to me because I just don't think that I don't know like how many friends he had like in comedy I know he's really good friends with Chris Rock yeah and he worked with Chris a lot like he was like a punch-up guy for Chris a lot but I

03:58don't I don't you know I don't know if anybody was there to just be his I think that's a big thing for us because we're so like I think comics are some of the weirdest people yeah but I gravitate towards them like I've always said if I run into a comic at the airport oh my god look it's one of us yeah you know just we're weird yeah it's a weird job we're weird people we're all crazy I've never met one of us that isn't crazy mm-hmm and I think sometimes we need each other to go yes alright alright everybody loves you man like you're going to the comedy store for me is definitely like a therapy session I feel and it's partly it's that you're performing and you're getting the positive feedback and part of it is that you're running into people and I mean it could be anybody it could be an Asian female comic it could be a fat could be Don Barris like you know

04:50the spectrum of different types but like you said there's something that there's a thread that runs through all of it which is like this this feeling that like MMA we're gonna get in the ring we are we are going to face an audience at some point that night and there's a charge to that like there's a fear I don't care who the you are you can deny you're afraid when you go onstage everybody it's in there somewhere we've just gotten so good at dealing with it that it doesn't show and sometimes we're not even aware of it and if it's not there that means you're probably not taking any chances right that's not good then you'll have that dull thing going onstage then you'll bomb and then you really have fear yeah when you're doing jokes do you think our killer and they just eaten plates a up there because you don't have anything left in you yeah like last night it's just murderers row man I'm

05:38walking in and Bobby Lee's crushing and then Chris D'Elia is crushing and then I go up and feel Vaughn's crushing and then it's Ian Edwards smashing after that's like yeah good lord with a line yeah alright and you're hugging everybody I'm hugging dombarris I see him a hug Whitney Cummings I see her everybody's just like there's just this big camaraderie yes yeah we're so lucky yeah we survived you know the and there's so many guys that I came up you know we came up with guys that I would have I was competitive when I started out and every guys I had bad blood with and I see those guys now and they're like my brothers because we went through it together yeah I know the competitive thing I've talked about that a lot like I had to give that up I had that when I was a kid when I was like 21 ish because it was still left over from the martial arts days martial

06:30arts competition then I like I would want people to do bad and then I realized the cut is so stupid mmm like Dyson zero effect on me like when they're up there if they're doing good that'll just make me better just make me work harder yeah but if they do bad like I want like that's the thing that some comedians do they will take a terrible comic on the road with them so they can look like a hero hmm it's a common thing right they it's called stacking the deck yeah look they'll stack the deck they'll have like just some torturous act for half an hour and then they go up and look like a monster yeah and that's not the way to do it I don't think I think the way to do is the opposite just have a bunch of murderers on in front of you and have fun with it yeah and everybody have fun yeah I think that you I love I mean there's I don't like going on after Thalia there's like

07:18one or two guys that I just don't like going on after and and but in general why don't you like gonna have to deliver I just feel like he's so physical and big and that doesn't really it shouldn't affect me but I just feel like when he gets off the crowd is just like in this mode of like euphoria and it's kind of like all right I'm gonna take it down a couple notches and just talk and I feel like sometimes that's my weakness that I can't adjust Joey Diaz same thing it's just like the room is just they got to put their socks back on and you're up there and I'm writing dry I'm trying to be a little ironic and they're just looking at me like you're small you're insignificant you're you know and all your insecurities start coming out sometimes and it's and I've beaten that like you come up in New York and you can't be like that because you're going on after a tell and Louie and whoever

08:20and so I came to terms with with trying to realizing that you don't ride the wave you let the wave settle and you start your own way mmm and and I would make that mistake early on as I'd come up then and I jack up my energy and I and it wasn't me and then it would falter yeah that is that is true you have to bring the audience to you yeah yeah and what the best place to learn how to do that as the Oh r-right no because first of all you really only have 15 minutes and there's all these other guys at at 15 minutes too and they they go on these rides so everybody's going on a new ride like okay we just got done with Magic Mountain Man or Space Mountain now we're gonna go on this ride it's a small world Oh small world slower we settle down it sounds crazy we're all the lights like yeah you gotta settle in yeah yeah it's a great place for just just figuring it out yeah working on

09:12your I'm in this weird place right now with my act where I'm getting ready to film a special car yeah I'm hiper examining yeah everything going over everything with a fine-tooth comb but the problem with that is you go over everything too much and then starts getting real blur yeah looking at yeah what is this yeah you know and you start landing I find that I start landing on the punch lines too hard mmm instead of talking it out instead of like beings like the more I do it the more I know all right this is where they laugh and I sort of and they're sort of lucky I stick it too much instead of flowing no and so when when you do the special it's almost like oh you got to take take a little time off before you do it yeah there's a number of sets you do where you're you're in the groove and it's tight and everything feels good and then there's a number that you do too

10:03much and everything gets kind of flat yeah you got to find that what is that well what if they have that and other things like if that's I must be the case with bands right when they tour they must get so sick of singing the same song over and over and over and over again I mean I saw the Beach Boys recently and they love it they love being up there you know you can see it you can feel it you know I think it goes to another level I think it becomes a communication with the fans with bands that we don't necessarily have the same thing right it's like for them air is a very communal experience that's happening and with us it's more like we're gonna dominate you for an hour right we're gonna take control of this room you're gonna listen to everything we say we're gonna bring you up take you down insult you bring you back in you know crowd worked is like a whole thing

10:52but it's all being orchestrated by you yeah yeah another thing we were talking about about traveling to places like that the further you go the harder it is to get there the more happy they are right that's a that's an interesting phenomenon like if you could do it like I was saying that re and I did a gig in Anchorage Alaska a few years back amazing yeah you get up there in this weird town you know and the coolest people there been Anchorage now dude crazy we've got up there and I'm expecting I'm gonna see people covered in fur and everything's gonna be covered in snow and then yeah riding dog sleds everywhere and no they weren't so normal I drove by this group of people holding up signs said honk for diversity how no like they're holding rainbow flags up and do they have diversity yeah huh no yeah yeah it's I mean it's a real City I mean it's small yeah

11:50how many people you think live in Anchorage yeah yes 20,000 I'm gonna go with 50 50 people yeah no fifty thousand three hundred thousand three hundred thousand no Wow Wow that's huge yeah that's three times the size of Boulder that's really big how was in Juneau I remember I was in Juneau and there was a Burger King and I was like what the is a Burger King doing in the middle of Alaska and then they were bald eagles going through the dumpster and picking a Big Macs America right here that's the first time I've ever seen an eagle live is in Alaska there's a weird animal to look at I know it's a weird animal to pick for your bird to like it's our national animal yeah ruthless evil Raptor yeah that comes out of the sky out of nowhere what kills well yeah you know they say that there was a an eagle at one point in time that they think was preying on early humans no yeah they think

12:56that there's been some giant Raptors in the past and they found some old primate bones some old ancient you know the ancestors of human beings that had what looked like claw marks and their skulls you know their brains had been picked out of their skull and clawed out yeah there was an eagle like down in his New Zealand it was called the hosta eagle it was an enormous eagle in New Zealand like way bigger than any of the Eagles that we have alive today mm-hmm any thinking could might have jacked a few people Wow well Colorado I'm sure when you lived out there people you can't leave your dog outside no like my dog got eaten there oh no yeah I had a bit about in my act no sure my littlest dog what kind of dog was it he was a Pomeranian American Eskimo mix that's a decent sized dog now he was real little yeah he was like this big there's like maybe 30 pounds tiny

13:49little guy yeah he got jacked did you see him get jacked no but we saw the cat hanging around the property we saw the cat in the area and then there was there was definitely evidence that something had gone down yeah yeah yeah it happens all the time one of the things that they found in California is because California has a lot of mountain lions that live on the outskirts of cities they purposely hang around the outskirts of cities and come in town at night and eat people's dogs and cats and they found that when they examine the contents they expected it to be way more like rabbits and deer and she'll like that but it was half domestic house cats and dogs yeah half of their diet because they're easy yeah there's a fatted calf well also they can just jump over everything I mean any fence you have they whip over it grab your dog and they're so powerful they could take your

14:42dog over the top of the fence yeah right nuts yeah I came home one day and there was a possum in the driveway and the crow you know are they Ravens are crows in LA those giant blackbirds that's a good question I don't know what the difference is because I said they were crows and my friends like no those are Ravens and they're they're big I mean they're a good two feet long yeah and it was on top of a possum and it was picking it apart and the thing was alive the possum was alive what yeah really and so I so I tried to scare this this black bird away and he looked at me like I'm not going anywhere I got a possum here and so I got a broom and I like pushed him away he golfs yeah he let you get that close you could touch oh yeah he wasn't leaving the possum whoa and then he he stood like 12 feet away I got a shoebox and I put the pasta minute but the possums they hiss at you

15:36they open their mouths they just go like and they got vicious teeth you got to be really careful with them but I got it in the shoebox and I called animal services and they came and got it look at you out there saving possums right I love possums do you yeah thing for them yeah the cutest I love them and they're just so mysterious you know they come out at night and yeah what were they hiding in the day why don't we used to sleep and I had some shrubs on the side of my lawn and he was you could sniff you looked inside he could see him hanging upside down whoa yeah oh that's right they hang yeah what a up animal right now have you ever seen a quad um Monday never even heard of it a quad of Monday is an animal that's in South America and a friend of mine was telling me he ran into one or I was listening to his podcast rather he ran into one of them in Arizona and that it looks like a bear

16:27a monkey at least like half bear half monkey leave that thing oh who is that thing and it's a climber yeah dude well they're big they're like 40 pounds when they're predatory and he was making noises he was deer hunting and this thing came running out of the woods he was trying to call it by making like wounded animal sounds like this thing came running out of the out of the grass looking at him look at that thing just teeth well crazy little animal like a Wolverine I don't even know that existed I had no idea that thing existed I mean it does look like it's a member of the badger family in yeah look at its face but then it has a tail like a big crazy long tail but the teeth look like like orangutan teeth the way they curve in like sure I didn't even know that was a real thing apparently it's there's a lot of them in South America and then in the United States they are expanding their

17:31range in Arizona Wow yeah the way you spell it is si o ATI mu n di qua to Monday isn't that a Spanish speaking Channel it was actually coming up like that coup de Monday Oh interesting yeah okay mmm but people spell with a C in America yeah I went with your phonetic spelling I typed it actually with a Q and this is what came up was the K yeah interesting yeah um I think what it how is it spelled in that other one if you scroll down that one just like that see I think you spelled with a C yeah I think that's how you spell it Co a yeah whatever it's awesome and people apparently The Game and Fish Department in Arizona they get calls all the time where people like there's a monkey running around in the woods I saw a monkey yeah but it's that thing that Arizona that could just be a racist calling Arizona's this weird place yeah Arizona is incredibly interesting in its

18:30climate right like you've got desert and then you have like some of the craziest forests you have all kinds of weird like the incredibly diverse wildlife population in Arizona Yeah right big-ass bird big-ass birds and deer and elk and all kinds of weird crazy guys like here in the middle of Phoenix and you got test giant cliffs yeah sticking right up in the middle of the city great hiking I did that one time there they have an influx of Jaguars now oh there's a quad of Monday jaguars yes there may be moving in from Mexico look at that this thing says they make good pets too apparently real yeah as you can train him whoa hold those teeth out first I'm pretty sure we saw one of those in Costa Rica and my daughters were calling it a kinkajou they made up a name for it but he was just hanging out near this resort in Costa Rica yeah look at those little just chilling how they

19:29got long tongues so they're ant eaters too I bet I bet they'd eat everything yeah I mean it's hard out there look at him just oh my god guys petting it that is crazy these are wild okay that's a resort see that's kind of like what I experienced in Costa Rica these things would just come by and hang out what a cool-looking animal get that guy's belly did not chose in front of them yeah South America it's it's crazy how like if you've gone to South him have you ever gone in South America now oh yeah Chile the wildlife there it's just incredible yeah Costa Rica has all these different Costa Rica they have howler monkeys right those uh yeah we had howler monkeys right it was like a 1 because it's the rainforest and we had a 1 mile like path that went around the house that we were renting and yeah these howler monkeys would to go right above you yeah scream no fear there was

20:31dogs everywhere we had like two dogs that just were they must have come with the house they were just there and you feed them and they follow you everywhere oh wow and then you drive up and there's a the black river I think it's called and it's right on the border of Nicaragua and they've got those Caymans you know those little alligators yeah and you take a boat through these like waterways and I mean it is filthy with came and they're everywhere Wow it was so scary we were we were just like paddling through them they have real crocodiles in Costa Rica they have those big-ass crocodiles we were yeah we went on a tour and they take on a boat and they take you like pretty close to these things but I'm freaking the out I'm like one of my kids falls overboard they're dead right and you're just on this little boat you know and these these people are so relaxed about

21:20like safety and she is so not Disneyland she got a middle part like lake arenal with like we went to a couple different spots okay but we went up to the rainforest and did the zipline oh yeah yeah which is a mile long yeah and I'm like who the is checking this yeah who's making sure that this is the the stability of this Lions intact right yeah and they had this they have this volcano that's in I forget they will slate lake arenal is the area and they've got these this hot springs and there was like 14 pools that went up a hill and you could you could swim in each one and the bottom was like cold and the top one was so hot he was practically boiling whoa so you could just kind of work your way up into each one and then he's you know this woman comes up to me and she goes you want a massage and I was like yeah so we go out to this little like it's it's off to the side

22:18and there's like a little there's sheets around a bed and and I'm laying there and I'm like this is great you know and then all sudden I hear my mother's voice and she had gotten solicited and she was getting a massage like six inches from me and I'm stark naked getting rubbed by this beautiful Costa Rican woman and I can hear my mother who doesn't stop talking for the entire massage for the thick Bronx accent so how long you been here for you from here that's a relaxation crusher you just want to just melt into the rainforest and down through that little horseshoe with your face in it look at those little Costa Rican feet brown rounded little toes that's so weird massages are weird yeah it's weird I mean it's obviously there's there's a physical aspect to it like you want your muscles to be manipulated because it's very good for them and you get loose some kinks and a lot of like

23:25weird stuff that's knotted up but there's also the pleasure aspect up yeah right it's pleasurable all right like it feels good to have someone touch you oh my god I mean your skin is your biggest organ and they they talk about emotionally and psychically what it means to have skin-to-skin contact and for an hour somebody is devoting their skin to your skin I mean think about you have sex with your wife you're touching for you know 15 20 minutes one part of you little groping you cry a sensual touch like that no for an hour yeah and also like the energy that you must get like when you're a person who's doing that all day like you're putting out a lot of energy yeah and you're getting energy from those people yeah like some people must feel weird yeah I've talked I've talked to masseuse who say that they have to discharge energy after a as they do yeah and these are more like

24:23touchy-feely kind of missus crazy you're still people yeah yeah yeah that one that she she would put crystals in my bellybutton oh and then my arm would be down and she would hold my arm and tell me to raise my arm to see what the pressure was and then she could tell by that which herbal remedies I needed for my allergies Christ Jesus Christ so many of these people out so crazy right and then it works and you're like what the it worked I guess you can believe anything how did it work I should give me allergies it's these herbs because I was like just sneezing non-stop and I stopped sneezing hmm and you know what that that um that would homeopathy mm-hmm they take like a barrel of distilled water and then they'll put in like a mint leaf and like a couple other herbs and then they just take the bottle and they fill it with that water and that's that's homeopathic remedy most of them

25:25are like that did that dilute it yeah a lot of its like I remember somebody gave me arnica once what's that it's like some little little pills their little tiny tiny little almost like little things that dissolve in your mouth oh yeah yeah it's like sugar right I go this is sugar and someone's like nah the sugar in it like a Worldwide's or sugar in it supposed to be medicine sugars not good for you what the is this and it was homeopathic or some sort of only a Pathak remedy I'm like okay do I have to believe this stuff works for it to work is it one of those things cuz that's a real thing right you know well what do you say to people who don't think that vitamins are helpful well that's silly there's a lot of studies that show the vitamins are healthy there's a lot of studies that say they're not yeah not really I mean too much vitamins was excessive vitamins

26:15doesn't make any sense but the studies that show that vitamins are beneficial they're pretty specific there's pretty specific in terms of like if you get your blood work done right for instance and you are short a lot of people are short of vitamin D vitamin D is a big one vitamin B is also a big one be b12 which is the one you get from the Sun that's D that's Dave d3 is a good one too and that one's good for muscle development a lot of other functions there's a lot of that vitamins are good for fish oil is fantastic it's very good for reducing inflammation there's a lot of supplements that are 100% legit but there's a lot of doctors that don't know anything about nutrition and it'll tell you all you need is a balanced meal right I need to bounce meal well if you had a balanced meal kind of yeah yeah if you really made sure that you ate a certain portion of vegetables green

27:08leafy dark vegetables that have a lot of vitamins and if you made sure that you have the right amount of protein and fruit yeah fruits um some fruit and you're not being you're not a proponent of eating too much fruit or I didn't tell me like sugar in it like juices most juices are too high in sugar yeah if you drink a big glass of orange juice your body has a really hard time differentiating that between a big glass of soda or high C or some like right it's like if it has 30 grams of sugar it has 30 grams of sugar and that's what it is it's 30 grams of sugar yeah the fact that it's coming out of an orange that's great but you're not supposed to drink it like that and the orange is supposed to be something you eat yeah and when you eat it you get all the fiber your body breaks it down slower you're just getting this main line of sugar right into your

27:53system right I drink a glass or like if I go and I have breakfast with a big glass orange juice I crash hard like an hour later yeah it's a big ol insulin dump well they just did I just read yesterday that there's a study now that losing weight is not about caloric intake it's all about sugar and processed foods crazy yeah they say the amounts don't matter you can you can eat way more than you think you can as long as you're eating the right well Weight Watchers have completely changed the way they recommend food like eggs are zero points now Joey Diaz and Brian Redman Brian red beds on to who's telling me that eggs are zero points Wow zero you could eat as many eggs as you want you can eat five eggs yeah people used to say well eggs the cholesterol and hello it's terrible for you but fats and all this nope notes great for you yeah sorry we lied forever I was reading to my kids

28:49a little while back and we had a dr. Seuss book and had the food pyramid and I go this food prayer is like what is this it's all the bottom of it is all cereal yeah it's all like cereal and bread it's like the most important thing we get all the zero point foods on the new list boneless skinless chicken breast boneless skinless turkey breasts ground lean chicken ground lean turkey thin sliced deli chicken broth oats all fish and shellfish Wow does not include smoked or dried fish huh why wouldn't include smoked fish that seems weird canned fish that is packed in water or brined ie canned tuna tofu or smoked tofu these are all like zero nonfat plain regular and Greek yogurt nonfat ain't good for you nonfat anything's nonsense eggs plain soy yogurt look fresh frozen and canned beans and lentils that are packed without oil or sugar yeah beans and lentils are huge yeah if you could just

29:49eat all that stuff avocado is not on there I guess it's got some fat in it well it's got healthy fats right yeah avocado is unusual because it has mostly unsaturated fats but it has saturated fats too yeah it's really good for you avocado is a wonderful food wonderful I'm a hundred and fifty five pounds but I had a belly just because you know I was writing on crashing last year and they would have we'd have like five meals a day muffins being handed out and I put on six pounds and it always in my belly mm-hmm there's breads and processed and so January 1st I cut out all bread all pasta all sugar and I've been working out like five days a week and the belly just disappear you know you seem like you got some pep in your step a little bit a little bit a little bit extra Ritalin also helped a lot of coffee do you ever get your hormones checked no no you probably

30:44should see if the testosterone levels there yeah you know that's a major factor in depression no major factor yeah it's a major factor in people with head injuries yeah people that have come back from war that have you know like a lot of IEDs been around a lot of explosions been jolted a lot football players of course boxers MMA fighters they lose testosterone as they get older you get pituitary damage your pituitary gland apparently is incredibly sensitive and some people get it that are jet skiers or into jet skiing because all that bouncing and head banging right head bang he's terrible for you my son play soccer and he heads these the goal you'll kick the ball all the way down the field then I'll see him head it I'll be like dude just let it bounce yeah yeah that's heavy impact it is and soccer players get it a lot he got a concussion from heading against another guy once he

31:42was out for like three weeks yeah oh yeah you hit it so hard it's like running into another like a rock like a bone yeah someone could beat you to death with a head and you're whipping your head you're whipping your head at the balls yeah like both slamming into each other oh yeah oh I played hockey my whole life though and never had any major and while my neck I chipped a vertebrae in my neck that was the only thing that happened how did you do that my eye was small but I was a good skater because I grew up near a lake so we just skated back before global warming that Lake froze at Christmas and it would till March we were out there every day after school all weekend all we did was play ice hockey so when I got to high school I was I was the only kid who could really skate backwards well so the coach was like you're on defense I'm like I'm a hundred and fifteen pounds so he

32:37taught me how to check instead of usually check with your shoulder your hip he taught me how to check guys under the chin with the top of my head which I which I got good at and then I did it one time and just click and it and it I got a I got an x-ray and they're like yeah that's that's chips nothing we can do about it to this day my my tendons will get caught in my neck on that chip and it'll just lock up once a year to lock up for a couple days I mean like the tendons rub against that areas tendons or ligaments or whatever is right there around your uh vertebra next dude yeah terrible this is a terrible thing to injure you are there good exercises yeah her neck yeah I have a thing called the iron neck you ever heard of him now oh it's amazing it's out there I'll show it to you after the show it's a halo I put it on my head and then I pump it up with air and the air locks

33:30it in place and there's a giant bungee cord that's on the end of it and I pull it back and the bungee cord is a 50-pound resistance but they make it lower they make like several different weights of bungee right you pull it back so it's like fully pulled and then you can adjust the resistance on the halo itself and so you do these like as you got to pulled back you turn like I'm gonna turn sideways and I do like ten reps this way yeah it'll do sideways that way and then I'll turn all the way behind and face the opposite direction and do ten reps it's amazing yeah then you do Stevie Wonder's where you do like this uh-huh and you do a bunch of different exercises magic and a girl's suck your dick with that thing on mmm what she would wear it she would wear it and then would that be good because her the cord would be in the way you know you run the cord between your legs and

34:20then you put your penis in her mouth you're yeah but your dick is gonna rub up against the court I don't understand why you want to do that that's the thing like that oh I see I got two of them right I bought one for my house to love it Wow I love it it's so for jiu-jitsu it's so important - she locked up in jiu-jitsu yeah where I was um I was getting numb hands I had a bulging disc in my neck and I just I think a lot of it came down to my neck just getting just too much abuse and not being strong enough yeah you know so so I loved that thing yeah that's why I've never done jiu-jitsu I've wanted to but I know my neck could get up immediately everything gets up but it's fun yeah it's awesome it's like your body's not gonna make it yeah it's like how much abuse do you want to give it before it breaks totally it's a good question yeah you know I mean Anthony Bourdain that

35:08savage 58 years old starts doing jiu-jitsu start it started no started wow he's a badass the main is he's been on the show yeah a long time ago yeah so we always talked about doing it again but yeah he travels so my guys everywhere I mean literally everywhere I love that show when I'm on the road it's sometimes CNN will run a marathon and it shows I'll just sit there and watch everyone even when he's in the u.s. it's always interesting he finds like he'll find like a pocket at Cajun people that have like a you know 78 people in the family and they make this special kind of jambalaya yeah yeah yeah he's uh he's he found his thing yeah he really did find his thing was he a musician before what did he do it's a chef how he's a chef yeah he's a chef and he wrote a book called Kitchen Confidential yeah there's a really good book and then after the book became

35:59successful he started doing a show on the Travel Channel I think it might even been called Kitchen Confidential then did another show that was called no reservations and yes that's where I met him I met him when he was still doing no reservations yeah that's when he did he did my show back when he stood in my house and then I did his show I did it recently too I did it recently in Montana we went pheasant hunting no yeah it's pretty cool Wow yeah it was awesome did he ever run into drugs he was a serious heroin addict that's what I thought yeah yeah but he kicked the heroin and still drink still drinks I know that's amazing yeah well he's I mean he figured out how to do it yeah but he works out every day yeah trains every day I mean he brings his jujitsu key with him everywhere he goes he goes in the road like when we were in Montana he went to we were outside of Bozeman I

36:53think somewhere outside of Bozeman so he found a jujitsu club in Bozeman and met them and just went there and trained with him during the day I was like you're a animal no she's just addicted to it he goes like he was in Croatia you told me it was in like I forget where it was with some Asia type place some Serbia's one of them Albania like them crazy places and he said he was out bone chips cuz these guys were just smashing him and I was like dude doing they were old school crossing Gracie top control guys and yeah crushing him he's like dude I'm bone chips I'm doing yourself that's amazing but he's like he's at an age where a lot of people would they would back off yeah they would think I'm I bought it's frail I'm ride this off in the sunset it's like you well all exercise is really sublimating pain on some level I mean even even a light jog you are in pain

37:47and so you don't have to do it think you're doing it wrong oh I'm always in pain are you real I feel like when I jog I feel like I feel afraid I'm gonna die and I think when people see me jogging they think I'm running from something like I'm scared oh like that's the paddock wonderful what hurts my back I think the neck settled into my back and I have slight scoliosis so and then my wrists and ankles for some reason about a year ago started to get sore like I can't do push-ups anymore I had to buy those those grips that you put on the ground because I couldn't I can't put my hands flat what part hurts the whole wrist the whole all the ligaments and the rest hurt hmm and they hurt does it an overuse thing I get hurt from no because it's both of them I don't know what I could have been doing with both of them have you tried doing it since you cut bread and

38:43everything out of your diet I think it probably is better it is better I bet it is yeah that's the first thing a therapist told me physical therapist she not a mental therapist like cut bread out yeah you got mental problems no a physical therapist told me she was like you'd be surprised if you cut bread out of your diet just information information how much your back would feel better and your neck would feel better right I thought it was a hundred percent horseshit it was like oh this is like hippy chiropractor talk good luck yeah and then I did it and I was like oh like everything feels better yeah you don't realize it like that puffy feeling that you're getting your face though I get I get fat face if I if I eat too much bread and pasta I get you know you start getting a little gut but that's also in your joints man that's everywhere everything's inflamed so it's

39:33all like not good your body's like what is this and how do we get rid of this it's hard on the road not to eat bread though it's so hard to find a meal that doesn't have bread and unless you want to eat like you know some some salad from Starbucks mm-hmm some uninspired salad and it was made by somebody with a hairnet was also making like stale stale tasting muffins they come out of the oven they're already stale tasting I was at a Starbucks recently and there was a plate out with thenar they put the muffin pieces while you're waiting yeah and so I eat more than I should you know you should probably just have one I think is the protocol and I have like three of them and this woman comes up she goes why are you eating my muffin it was her I go I'm so sorry I go let me buy you another muffin and and instead of going now don't worry about she was like yeah so I bought her another muffin

40:29and she wasn't really like laughing about it or anything she was yeah that's a litoris yeah you were saying that I was like I don't know that they do that oh yeah yeah but why was her muffin chopped up into little pieces that seems weird - I wish crummy it was you know kind of pulled apart crummy hmm no okay seems weird have you ever gone to Katz deli in New York Shore remember one take the Cutlass Tommy for you yeah and the corned beef and they give you a little piece and you're like holy like why you're waiting they chop it up and slide it for our plate best pastrami in the city yeah we just looked it up the other day that place started out in the 1800s no yeah Wow yeah larga was a half a block away so you stand up there and either we stop and get a pastrami sandwich it was al are going English I'm no Luna lounge she was close okay yeah there's no place like that here

41:30except Cantor's Cantor's is all right it's a you know I I find their their pastrami's just doesn't have that that tenderness that you get 2nd Avenue deli in New York I've never been I think that's the best that really this is the best yeah yeah I think I think Cantor's is good I think it's the best in LA I do too I just don't think it's that good well just not gonna it's hard to get those immigrants to come all the way across and settle in and and be successful out here and have a real spot but there's a lot of Jewish people out here you'd think there'd be more like Jerry's deli is good middle of the road yeah they have good chicken noodle soup right but they don't have it's like there's a difference between a real Italian restaurant in New York City and an Italian restaurant in Studio City yeah just difference yeah it's just no getting around it if you want to survive and like I needed

42:26just to survive you can have linguini with clams at some nice place to Studio City but it won't be the same yeah now that place karleusa Carmine's with our Arturo's this place on Mulberry Street it was the oldest Italian restaurant in ER in Little Italy and it just burned down determined when you lived in Little Italy in a mob owned building that's right yeah Tony and Gladys were my landlords that's right and they had a they'd had the apartment they raised their kids there Wow and they were like they were like in their late 70s and so they their their son Gregory who is in construction and lived in New York Laird quotes yeah he's in construction and so he bought the Macondo around the corner because it was a it was a sixth floor walk-up and so one floor you could pull it up on the screen 142 Mulberry explain to people that don't know what that means that

43:18means you walk up six flights of stairs yeah like you have couches and yeah right right well they're all their furniture was there when I got there they let me keep and it was I'm not making this up plastic on the furniture and I found I found an ease a phone eavesdropping thing like where you could record phone calls what in the drawer and they dies to pay them the rent once a month not by check they wanted cash and it was George McDonald live with me and we would walk down this end and Lauren Dubrowski we'd walk down the street to Spring Street go to their condo and we'd give them if it was $600 we'd give that to Gladys and Tony look at it right now yeah there we go and they would make cappuccinos and cannolis we'd sit there and talk to them and then Tony would go in the next room and we give Gladys another 150 because that was her bingo money and Tony don't need to know about

44:12that oh that's right yeah and never having a Lorne Dombrowski she passed away no cancer oh that's right yeah she ended up as a big executive producer at MADtv for like ten years really yeah you know Bobby Lee she she sponsored a lot of people to get sober I mean you I know a half-a-dozen people that she sponsored you get sober Bobby Lee is one of them she was she was a comedy team with yeah a couple a couple of broads I don't remember what her name was who was the I think was called a couple of broads and who was the the other one was oh Rick Jenkins used to date her yes and she ended up doing a film she moved out to Hollywood to make it and about a year and a half later this softcore porn came Hey with her in it and she had this smokin and that was a VHS tape that kept passed around that was crazy covered in yeah but Lauren was a really sweet special person

45:20she was great yeah she's a very nice person yeah that's right I forgot that she passed away mm-hmm I never ran into I ran into her once out here a long time ago more than 15 16 years ago yeah there is those comics that are that like Colin Quinn is one of them where just they have saved so many comics in trouble it's amazing how's he calling yeah he's a great guy yeah he helped well tried to help Geraldo I shouldn't name people's names if it's program stuff but well some people are open about it yeah I think all comics are it becomes a part of your act right right and who gets sober and doesn't start talking about it yeah that's like Jesus Christ why wouldn't you mind that I think a lot of comics start in AAA rooms they get up with me you know they qualify which is when you speak in an a a room and a guest elves oh yeah number Dave right Dave had one great joke I remember this

46:19one great joke that he had about being in Catholic school and he did something wrong and the priest smacked him in the head and he goes what is exactly how I think Jesus would handle it method of delivery he was just a funny guy like he was one of those guys you saw him on stage you go this guy's gotta be funny oh I mean it's it's amazing some people that the deck is loaded you walk onstage she says this gravelly voice and this big square head yup and he just said yes sit with that thick I think he was from East Boston mm-hmm that thick accent and he was a mailman he was like a real blue-collar guy and a lifetime of stories yeah he's a guy who became a pro real quick yes I remember like being real impressed with him because he was like a little bit ahead of me I was just starting out as an open mic ER and he was really maybe a year ahead and he was starting to get work

47:21and I'm like this guy took it seriously yeah because he was older I think he was like 40 when he was getting started right and so yeah there's no book and he was like really organized with his bits and he had like some philosophy about like why he would why would take a pause and why he would rush this part where he would take that part and I was like this guy's putting a lot of thought and effort into this I remember going down to see Paula Poundstone perform at the comedy connection and he was the feature act and he went up and as a feature got a standing ovation I was like holy that doesn't happen no he was good he got sick he got sick and died as well yeah right and I think there's just a lifetime of drugs and alcohol just caught up to him uh nationally I mean right when he was right when he was you know getting his together right right there were so many of those guys I

48:14mean how many guys did we start out with that were alcoholics or former alcoholics yeah everybody all of them yeah and they're all and that was the thing about when you were an opener in Boston it was like the criteria were are you funny enough to cover 15 minutes to open number to do a functioning automobile that you can take these DUI headliners to the gig with because none of them had licenses and so I can remember like picking up Gavin pick sweetie picking up Mike McDonald's yeah and having to drive these guys out to wherever and then you couldn't leave early cuz you were driving them home they'd give you a few bucks for gas and you were happy to do it you're like holy I'm gonna be in a car with Tanya and so one time Nix Nix gummy stuff called me up and they're like you're working in Framingham you got to drive the feature and the headliner out and I

49:01go downtown to pick them up in front of Nicks and I've got a I've dated 1976 Volkswagen Rabbit 4-cylinder rusted out floorboards and I get down there and it's Mike Sullivan Irwin who weighed about 300 pounds and John Pinette always about 275 and they saw my car and they both started giggling like schoolgirls like we're gonna go to a gig in this car so we packed them in and ins I couldn't get out I couldn't get the car going above like 40 so instead of taking the Mass Pike out west of Framingham I had to take Route 9 no the whole way so I wouldn't get it past 40 that's hilarious like you carrying lumber on the roof eight hundred pounds of humans in my car I remember Mike Sullivan I remember when he was Mike Sullivan they became yeah Mike Sullivan Irvin he's the first guy that I ever met that took his wife's last name is that why yeah he was a feminist Wow he's our first male

50:02feminist self-proclaimed male feminist that ever that's hilarious very nice guy yeah sweetheart super sweetheart yeah guy and that didn't work he stopped you and coming right he died oh Jesus Christ yeah bummer pie is a bummer have a podcast I think he died as well and John Pinette died as well died as well yeah yeah that's why I'm glad you're doing cardio that's right well you know I'm 51 and my dad died at 51 of a heart attack so I take that seriously eating right and exercising yeah I mean he also smoked three and a half packs a day and was an alcoholic so yeah different different circumstances it is crazy how much of that is genetic you know yeah and I've always admired that you figured out when we were really young I mean when I met you you quit and you know we were both in our early 20s yeah and you were like this night I'm not I'm not going down that

50:58road and you didn't need anything you didn't you didn't need Alcoholics Anonymous he like no I'm not doing it I did some therapy that helps I just needed to realize that once I realized that and I had gone to al-anon because of my dad adult-child of alcoholic meetings which only phenomenal amount just to realize that that it's a disease and that you know you're powerless to it and that for me I was able to apply what I learned in there because I went to a couple AAA meetings and embossed and it was like guys would get up and they were like and then I blew a guy for a sandwich and I passed out you know it's like I couldn't relate I mean my thing was like I a fat chick you know that was my bottom I had a three-way with a couple of girls who were you know as placentas John Pinette and so so I could but I but I've I read the literature of the 12 steps and it helped me because it made me

51:52realize that when I wanted a drink something was going on yeah and to this day I just have that reaction I know that I still want to drink all the time but when I really want to drink I stop and I go all right what's stressing you out what do you need to deal with and then I just kind of focus on it yeah yeah there was um when I was a kid my my dad was an architect and so I worked on a lot of construction sites and I met a lot of junkies a lot of junkies a lot of people in construction sites are either alcoholics or drug addicts and it was just one guy that I really liked he's a funny guy man really funny guy and he's into the band his name is Robbie funny dude loved hanging around with them but just couldn't stay off the coke couldn't stay off the coke and you could totally tell he and he would not be be honest about to say how he went off the rails and you know and you know and he

52:46would we would be working together he was a carpenter and I was you know like a laborer sounds like an apprentice and so he'd be you know talk to me why he's explaining me how to do things and stuff like that and it's like yeah you know I'm just tired of this I'm getting my together the band's getting back together again we're writing songs and this not and then he come in Monday looking like just looking like real grumpy didn't want to talk had a headache yeah and you know and he did admit it you know I went off the rails now the saddest thing is that when you first start doing drugs and I don't know about you but I had a phenomenal time doing cocaine you know I mushrooms and all the stuff I did as a teenager was like beef I never got hooked on it and if you do it you know maybe I did coke 50 times without ever getting hooked it's a blast that's the that's the best kept secret but then

53:39once you get hooked you're not even having fun anymore you're just maintaining you're just feeding it so you don't crash you know with with heroin you're just trying to avoid withdrawals you're not even feeling that great anymore I think with Robbie to part of the problem was he was very disappointed in himself yeah you know was booze too he would just go off the rails and try to keep it you know it's like there's a lot of people out there that they have a dream and then the pressure of trying to reach that dream like his dream was to be in a successful band right and the pressure of trying to reach that dream and see it to fruition it's just seems it seems unreachable yeah it seems too far off and here you are you're you're in your 30s and you're working in a construction job and you know you work all day in Boston in the winter you're tired of when you get home you don't want to go to

54:30band practice you get home at 6:30 you have dinner now it's 7:30 you got to get up right you got to get up in a few hours Mack what are you doing when are you going to bed you know you got to get up at 6:00 then you go to band practice and the drummer doesn't show up so you can't practice or he's 45 minutes late his car breaks down and you're pissed and screaming at you yeah yeah yeah they try to have a relationship on top of that tell that girl you can't go out on Saturday night ever because you're doing gigs and then the gigs suck and you're not making any money and they're like you should get a job the gigs suck you should get a job yeah and then you're in a band so girls are throwing themselves at you have an affair she's got some coke now it's good so he turned around turned it around how it's exciting again that's gonna work a casino they'll always be that band in the lounge that's

55:27playing like born to be wild all those songs and like you'll see people that are like 57 dancing and you see them and they're dancing and it's like they're just reliving the only joy they had in their life which was like when they were young who danced in Iraq and this band is their gods to them mm-hmm you know the time when you're young when you're having fun is so fleeting yeah then all a sudden responsibilities stack up all sudden you know you have to pay bills you have obligations you have so much do you have to think about yeah for so many people there's just there's this period of their life where they look back to whimsically like that was the time when I was free yeah I was young and my dick got hard all the time I could go to oh man I can't believe it and you think anything is possible I mean that's really thing can happen that's the loss of innocence is when you

56:34realize at a certain point that you do have to pick a path and stay on it oh yeah you better because you got to pay the bills with it and you know and that what's so sad as you see people that work so hard for not a lot of money and you know bills just add up and then they save just enough when they get their vacation twice a year they'll go to like a cruise and they'll just drink non-stop for a week at the end of it they're just hungover they blew the excess money they had and that was it that's what you worked all year for I had a friend of mine I work in a restaurant and one of the guys who worked with saved up his money for eight years went to Vegas and blew him one day the most heartbreaking story this poor guy I think he was a dishwasher and he worked there for eight years yes set aside 50 he 25 they're set aside for eight years yeah and I think it was some good

57:37amount of money like $30,000 went there with a plan this is it baby I'm good at blackjack or whatever the you played here at a book LA guys read books mm-hmm you can win money you can win money playing blackjack but you know what's up when you do if you get good at it they ban you I know it's crazy was yeah the other crazy thing is in blackjack there's there's like multi deck and there's single-deck blackjack and the payout on single deck is less instead of 3 to 2 odds you get paid like I forget what it is but you get you get less of a payout when you hit blackjack and the rules are more restrictive about like splitting aces and all that stuff you know so the implication is with a single deck you can count cards that's why they pay you less right but if you get caught counting cards you get thrown out of the casino the do they catch you counting cards and isn't it normal that

58:36you are using strategy to try to win the game like crazy like you can't try so hard right that's like if you're playing pool in your aim like are you aiming or when they don't let you use drugs and sports they make you better they definitely make you better yeah why should we not have drugs and sports well because they're out of here Bobby yeah and because you don't want the children to get the wrong message yeah and drugs are the only way to win yeah I think there should be a supernatural league and the natural league I like it yeah yeah actually is you just get get one of them Russian guys from that Icarus documentary and you just woody got baby yeah let's do this and you find out what happens the problem is legitimately if you do go whole hog and and take the full steroid route you're definitely redlining your body you're doing some to your body that

59:31your endocrine system is gonna shut down you're putting ungodly stress on all sorts of parts your body because the workload that your body's putting out is just superhuman yeah but those brief shining moments you can absolutely perform better well and that's what it's about and as a viewer I want to see them run faster and hit harder and jump higher and you know and and honestly they're jocks this is what they were bred to do there they are the jock class they they did it their whole lives they dreamed of the shining moment let them have their shining moment right but what about the natural athletes what about the Herschel Walker's out there that don't need it right well they're in the other league well for them they're like we shouldn't be a athlete you know I need it right or I don't need it you need it yeah but I always wondered about those guys so cuz they're

60:25being honest that they don't take it like Herschel Walker like deep into his 40s was claiming that he never took anything and that he only ate a bowl of soup in a salad a day no doesn't make sense Oh didn't didn't his mother do the Campbell Soup commercial I don't know the thing about Herschel though is that he also has multiple personality disorder no she I think he has struck stress or trauma induced trauma induced multiple personality disorder so it's entirely possible that when he says I only took a bowl soup and a salad he's telling the truth but that's him there's like five other people that live inside his brain and they've been eating steak all day on steroids right I don't know fascinating yeah I always the trauma do you know well I think he had a really rough childhood there was a lot of psychological abuse physical abuse and then there was

61:21football abuse I think all those things I mean there is no way you're getting out of football for free you're getting hit hard and that's trauma so there's trauma psychological trauma I don't know he's talked about it pretty openly though but what's interesting is even after all that he still fought you know he fought a lot of people don't know he fought in Strikeforce I didn't know that beat the out of some people dude he's a legit martial art no dude he was in his 40s like 46 to 48 I believe he fought in Strikeforce and when I say he was Chad I mean Jack yeah full six-pack shredded 46 years old just manhandling lesser athletes and beating the out of them yeah in what Jiu Jitsu MMA and no he fought in strikeforce strikeforce was a league that the UFC won a purchasing and we took all their fighters and it came over and you know a lot of guys like Gilbert Melendez was

62:20champ over there Josh Thompson like real high level fighters Luke Rockhold they all came over from Strikeforce hmm yeah and Herschel Walker was over there and it's for a lot of people like super skeptical like the foot what is this some freak show yeah Herschel Walker's gonna fight come on man Herschel Walker is an old football player yeah and then he Sam you like Jesus freak out no just a freak of nature so you think he must have been using steroids no what no it's not not must of no you definitely mean you always get suspicious when you see someone who's a freak but there are real freaks yeah like just look John Holmes had a giant dick he didn't take steroids to have a giant dick he just had a giant dick some girls have enormous tits yeah oh they just do like there's no there's no even body like there's no equality in physical construction no and some people

63:09just get born with freak body parts yeah and they just are there's there's athletes that are just way better than you will ever be no matter what you do yeah no I think Herschel Walker's unquestionably one of those it's just how long did you maintain it I mean I watched the Olympics and the curling I love you know curling the thing is it's not much to watch but I would pay a lot of money to just get high one day and curl how much $1,000 to curl one day why but I mean that's for all my friends it pays for the whole curling court okay okay hold everybody get bored after like ten minutes I don't know really I mean I love games like that like I love ladder ball you know where this like two sticks and it's got like a ladder goes between it and it's got a ball with a rope between the two balls and you whip it you know I can play that for upwards of three or four hours we have it in the

64:04backyard three or four hours non-stop I just get I get so competitive and so obsessed horseshoes bocce ball horseshoes are fun yeah yeah I don't know man just get into such a groove like pool right yeah yeah I mean you and I've played pool for three hours easily oh yeah easily we could have today if we didn't stop and do the podcast we probably kept going well son is a good luck - Sam oh hi today in the soccer playoffs third round undefeated this year do you like watching soccer I love what just watching it but I love watching my son play yeah I just there's few Joy's in the world like watching my son play soccer crazy right he had a person who's out there running right yeah I know and you just see well because you no matter how old your kid gets you still see them as a little kid and then when you see them out there on the field with these and you see the size of the other guys and

64:59how aggressive they are near like holy my little kid is in there holding his own and he's a physical player and it's just and you know you get to know the parents and the kids and it's like a whole it's like being a fan of a sport but you actually know the players yeah yeah there's there's something also I think that's incredibly important for kids to learn how to compete yeah and also learn what it feels like to lose and know that bad feeling yeah there was a lot of people that grew up and they they were never involved in competitive sports they were never involved in any sort of competitive games and they just don't know what it's like to lose yeah and I think that's a valuable lesson in life too I think it teaches you a lot about rejection from you know the opposite sex or the same sex period mentioned I think it teaches you a lot about not getting

65:47the job that you want a lot I think it teaches you a lot about real competition in the real world and it gets you used to that weird feeling of competing at a young age so it becomes normal you know yeah to go well because I think there's there's a shame with being competitive these days because everything is so politically correct that you shouldn't be an alpha you shouldn't be aggressive you shouldn't try to beat somebody down and in sports it gives you a safe place to realize that that's a part of our makeup that's a part of your your whole psyche is to want to compete you want to challenge you know to be Darwinian and that there is a place to do it and in this place to not do it you know well it's easier to find the place to not do it when you do it right and this is the thing about jiu-jitsu that I always try to explain to people jiu-jitsu practitioners are

66:40some of the nicest people you ever meet and one of the reasons why is they get all that stupid out on the mat and they're tired all the time too so they're like they don't want to start any like all right I don't wanna deal and plus they don't need their ego stroked their egos getting beaten down and stroked all the time yes stroking tap somebody beaten down when you get tapped out and you have to get used to it in order to get to a certain rank like if say if you get up to like purple belt or brown bubble somebody that who knows how many hundreds of times you've been tapped out yeah and who knows I have no idea how many times have been tapped out yeah but it's probably thousands no how could it not be Wow all those years of doing jiu-jitsu 20 years of doing G 20-plus years of doing jiu-jitsu and all the times I rolled and all the times I roll people better than me up and

67:26choked and arm barred and you just get used to it it's not fun you don't enjoy it but what you do enjoy is that you've experienced something that you didn't have an answer for and so you know there's work to be done and that's jiu-jitsu is endless it's endless you know um there's a guy who explained this how was the explanation it's a brilliant health and grace he explained it to someone who didn't understand you Jitsu and he's got this thick Brazilian accent it's I do this and then you do that and then I do this and then you do that and then I do this forever that's Jiu Jitsu mmm it's like it's constantly move and defense and counter and defense and attack well I hear people describe it as a chess match it is but chess pieces only move one way it's so dynamic and kinetic and so they're always adding new moves to there's all his new moves that people

68:23are constantly learning yeah it's it's um but the thing is you're using your body right your body is what is being attacked and your body is what you're using to attacks you know you things give out while you're attacking and things give out while you're getting attacked and I think there's not enough to just you guys who I think if I was going to advise people one of the things that I would advise is you should have a regular conditioning strength and conditioning routine just to strengthen your joints strengthen your limbs strengthen your back yoga I think strength and conditioning in yoga are almost as important not as important as jiu-jitsu itself to get good at it but almost is important to prevent injuries and to allow you to reach your full physical potential mm-hmm yeah so I mean in terms of that being a life lesson it's I think when you can

69:14physicalize something that then becomes like in a workplace more of a mental thing you realize that being tapped out in the workplace can mean everybody gets fired on a regular basis people used to get one job and they would keep it for 30 years you get a gold watch and a pension now the average job I don't know what it is Jamie what's the average life span of a job three years there's more years I think so I think people tend to bounce around a lot more and so I think that life people get divorced and they have it they have other successful relationships you know like somebody saying we today like that joke the Henny Youngman joke take my wife please move doesn't make sense anymore because you would have left you would be saying take my wife you know and so so I think that it's a life that's filled with more transitions and being able to accept and almost beast

70:07like you said learn from be empowered and strengthened by a change as opposed to defeated by it well no one gets through life perfect you just don't so if you think other people are getting through life perfect and you're up all the time hmm you feel terrible about it yeah but you got to realize that those fuck-ups in those terrible moments those are valuable learning experience and the people that I know that the most interesting have failed the hardest they've had these just colossal fuck-ups and then they've rebuilt themselves and then understand it also gives you like a certain amount of humility and compassion for other people because you know you've realized like hey this not like no one rides the wave forever yeah crash you hit the coral he gets scratched up you get up I've never surfed shouldn't use those analogies grow from it or you become evil from it yeah well you could

71:02definitely can yeah you could definitely become evil from defeat but I just think I mean it's a up thing I mean it's a weird thing to say but I really think we all collectively as a species need to emphasize and learn how to be nicer to each other hmm nobody teaches you that it's rare they teach it to you in school be nice when you go to offices there's you know there's certain standards of behavior that you're supposed to behave in but there's not like an emphasis on kindness and just being friendly and I think that that doesn't diminish competition like you could be friendly and kind to people that you're competing with as hard as you can that was also a thing that you find in jiu-jitsu guys who are just trying to kill each other all the time or like really close friends yeah really close and you know very competitive like I'm getting you tonight no you're not like that kind of

71:59but friendly well because there's a safety because there's rules yes and in the workplace the rules are much more nebulous and what you do to get ahead kissing a boss's ass sabotaging a project is that part of competitive or is that over the line whereas with jiu-jitsu you'll get called on a foul yeah sabotaging a project imagine working with somebody and they're sabotaging when you're trying to accomplish go to the boss and talk and behind your back about your project and what you're trying to achieve that's one of the most soul-sucking things about jobs the fakeness yeah the the office banter nonsense fakeness I just think as I as a species it's just a human race especially us as Americans because they're so goddamn competitive tell her I'd be nicer I think it starts with manners I think it starts with I mean arrant manners they seem trivial but it creates the paradigm for not

72:59just thank you please hold the door don't eat til it like don't eat until everybody serve their food they're all little signals to people that you care about them and respect them yeah and I think it spills over and it informs your other actions when you have good manners right look people in the eye yeah yeah yeah be polite and what people do that to you you get a good feeling you know well you know when someone holds up in the door for you or someone says thank you like I said hi to some guy the other day I was walking by him in the hallway of a hotel I go how you doing man he just stared at me and immediately I was like wow I was angry yeah you know immediately like part of my instinct was like you man yeah then part of me was like that poor bastard right you know and I went with that poor bastard like oh that's his life I said hi I'm just trying to be

73:50nice yeah but he looked at me like I was almost like I was weak saying hi to him alright you know I was raised to like like if I see somebody with bags I help them and it makes me feel great yeah it feels good to help people yeah I think I was raised and that's the thing about being raised Catholic because I was raised very care you raised Catholic I was raised Catholic - first grade after first grade we kind of abandon it yeah but even up until then it's it it's it gives you a lot of it's a life of service you know it's very much about helping people it's very much you know you can say what you want about the Catholics but you know they were in the trenches in a lot of third-world countries nuns and you know they they did a lot of good yeah and and I think that rubbed off on me my parents both always did a lot of charity work I do a lot of charity work with my kids and you

74:40know that's that's gonna stay with them I think we throw the baby out with the bathwater when it comes to religion and even just rigid ideologies I think there's there's something about religion that can absolutely help some people and there's aspects of it that are very beneficial having that code to live by you know even if it's because of the spaghetti monster in the sky like whatever it is that you believe but if you really act that that thing act like that thing is watching over you and that there's codes and tenets that you have to live by like most of the tenets of Christianity if you look at them if you really follow Jesus rule which most people don't but if you really did you'd be doing a lot of great work you know you'd be helping people you'd be treating each other as if they were your brothers and sisters the neediest I mean that's who Jesus helped

75:24ya the beggars in the street and the prostitutes and you know that was some hardcore he was doing but yeah and um yeah I think it's like the ten commandments you can live by I don't know eight of them mmm eight of them are pretty good to live by I'm still gonna cover up my neighbor's wife covet she's hot do you know what that was about though it wasn't about that what was your neighbor's watch she was possession she was covet like she was a possession of the neighbor yeah like she owned her right oh that's right yeah and the same thing stood for the commandment if you really read it says do not covet thy neighbor's wife or thy neighbor's slave is it slave slave it's a donkey I think it's donkey and slave really yep wow that's crazy yeah yeah don't don't try to steal their slave you can keep slaves just don't want them from your neighbor it's just so obvious that what

76:20they were talking about back then was all wrapped around the way people thought about things then yeah you know but they knew even then even thousands of years ago they knew there's a right way to do things and there's a wrong way to do things there's when you pick up the people's bags you feel good let's tell kids that let's teach people that you pick up the bags you feel good you hold the door open you feel good you help someone you feel good like okay let's this is obviously that we all want to feel good right how do we feel like I there's moments in my life where I feel terrible where I've done something wrong or up something or just failed and I just feel terrible and I always think when I do have that feeling like god I hate this feeling why can't I feel great why can't I just feel awesome right now well because it didn't go well and this is like the psychic

77:11reminder this is that jolt of energy that's letting you know like hey you went on a wrong path you up you you tanked this you crash that you did wrong like you're supposed to feel like right so that you don't do it again yeah but conversely when something good happens when you help someone when someone can't get their bag in the overhead cuz it's too heavy and you help them and you hand it to them they smile at you and you smile at them you walk off the plane you feel good you feel good you got to teach that too like you have to remember that and you have to go why do I feel so good I felt so good because I helped that lady yeah you know I felt so good because I said hi to that guy and that guy say hi me back and we looked at each other and go you know made some niceties or whatever yeah and that's that's part of the joy of life man is those friendly fun nice

78:00interactions with people but when you got your in order it's easier to have those experiences when you don't my personal experience when I don't have my in order and I've made mistakes and I'm something up it's very hard for me to enjoy anything yeah I just go through the motions I just I feel like oh if I have something that I up and then I have that terrible feeling but I have to hang out with my family and my kids I just ride it out and I just have to ride it out I try to be real friendly and real sweet but I don't feel good inside I feel terrible and I know well this is gonna go away with contemplation with understanding it's gonna this feelings gonna go away but you got to ride it out you know and I know I can ride it out because I've read it out wrote it out before yeah but for some people man they don't know what to do they're right don't they don't know

78:48what that feeling is they feel like this is their life and then that feeling if you don't conquer it you get comfortable with it you get used to it you used to failing you get used to that terrible feeling and then you start pouring booze on that terrible feeling right or pouring drugs or whatever well it also becomes like I was in therapy and I remember the therapist told me that you we all have a narrative of our lives and you can choose that narrative it's that simple that's basically what behavioral therapy tells you is that it's all a projection everything in your life is a projection you know you say I have these attributes I've accomplished these things or you can say I lack these things and I up these things mm and you can live your life putting that energy out to people and it's as simple as just literally sitting down and thinking about how you want to see yourself and just

79:40keep keep reminding yourself of that and you'll start to live it I mean this sounds so hokey don't oversimplified but it's real but it's real yeah yeah and part of the thing the downside of religion is that I was raised with a lot of shame and guilt and so those periods you're talking about where you up and you're feeling bad and you got to ride it out you throw shame on top of that and it extends it and it makes it more profound and it's not just about your action and how it might have affected other people it's about original sin you know heavy original sin Garden of Eden we're evil you know we're dirty we need to confess we need to be cleansed throw all that on top of a simple mistake and again it makes it complicated yeah man the the sin and the pain and the suffering that I mean Island went through one year of Catholic school but that one year when I was six years old

80:38first grade I was like this is ridiculous yeah these people are crazy yeah I'm not this bad I just knew see my parents got split up when I was five and then I was really confused I was like I can't believe my mom and dad aren't together anymore and there was a lot of screaming and hitting and a lot of violence and it was just it was good that my mom got out because I learned that when something is terrible like you don't just stay and get smacked around you leave mmm but the bad thing was it just threw my whole life into chaos and I wanted some order and things and one of the things that I turned to for order was religion even that's five six years old like I remember my grandparents or you know whoever was taking me to church like I got into it I was like this is the answer like it's like what what does God want you to do because when you're six okay like it's it's not a cut I remember

81:35thinking of it and there's a very narrow confined way like I didn't have a broad sense of the world I had a sense of God as being like the ultimate dad right and then well this the day that I have is failed so this ultimate dad you got to do what he says and that's how you that's how life works good and that's how you're happy this very small vocabulary that I had this narrow view of the world with you know five summers of life experience and then I went to Catholic school and I was like holy is this wrong I was like this is so wrong sister Mary Josephine is the only person I remember from being six years old I remember anybody's name but I remember that evil monster of a lady she was horrible and I remember thinking she smelled like death she looked like hell she just looked like like she was just in grief and anger and in and just annoyed all the time and was so mean to kids man and

82:35I it knocked it right out of me yeah knocked it all right out of me all my ideas about religion and Catholicism and I was done by the time first grade was over I was like there's no way I'm going back tell my parents that runaway Wow there's no way yeah my parents went to Catholic schools in the Bronx back when they just hit you remember Slee I mean like every infraction they had a rule literally they had the ruler out and they trap you on the knuckles all the time and my mother said to me she realized she got older these nuns that were teaching very often they became nuns because maybe they were lesbians maybe they hated kids they didn't want to go down that road and so they joined the not The Sisterhood to get away from it and they stuck him in classrooms with 25 jacked-up testosterone ridden kids and it's their worst nightmare that's right they're so miserable we had a kid in the

83:33neighborhood that became a priest and he was a nice kid that's in high school but he's gay as everybody knew his gays he was so obvious he was just soft and his his face was soft and and he had no interest in women he's like well it was got to be away and he went right into the priesthood we were so we started calling him father by the time he was 17 Wow I guess he was 18 he was like a year older than us maybe two years older than me and I think he had graduated and he was already like going into the priesthood right I don't know what steps you have to take to do it but people start calling father I started calling him father when I was like 16 I think people are doing it but I remember thinking like oh he's gay obviously he's gay and now he's like he what are the options and Newton Massachusetts in 1983 yeah what's he gonna do yeah what's it gonna do you know didn't know where to go

84:30became a priest do you think that priests in a rectory which Latin derivative rectum is it know do you think they're all I mean the priests er mostly gay yeah they're not getting laid there they've got what 23 hours of downtime every day when they're not doing a doing a mass I want to know what percentage of them are pedophiles and what percentage of them were molested so became pedophiles it's I mean and people that get upset at this look can't get upset at it it's like blowing tires on NASCAR it's real yeah okay well tires don't always fail you're right they don't always fail but they fail a lot a lot of people lose tires you know a lot of people crash cars it's just you there's a giant history of sex offenders that become priests and molest kids like what are the what's what are the numbers like if yeah is it 10% and we're just hearing about I mean if it

85:28was 10% of priests it's still a lot of people getting molested mmm is it 30% what's the number it's not zero well what's disturbing isn't just that number but the number of priests that know about it that don't say anything oh yeah or then they even know about it and they shift them to another Church I mean the complicity of the church in dealing with this problem it's a civil case yeah this is rape this should be in the courts police should be brought to the church and they should be fingerprinted and put in jail but instead we somehow say you guys deal with it yourself yeah yeah you remember when Ratzinger had to leave he had a quit right which is very rare yeah but it was because they wanted to try him for crimes against humanity like that I was a piece of what he did was take priests that were molesting kids and just move them and he moved this one priest this is the

86:20guy that became Pope right yes he was in charge he was a cardinal or whatever the he was yeah whatever the name is where you in Germany take these priests and move him to this new spot right and I think it was in Arizona or New Mexico I forget where it was it was somewhere in the United States I believe he moved this guy he like well sent him over there and the guy wound up raping a hundred deaf kids yeah what'd you hear about that and you're like oh my god you imagined your baby your poor baby you can't hear and they go to this place and they can't hear anything and this priest is sticking his dick in their ass and their mouth and like and they're like this is God does that God wants this God wants this guy to do this to me and if there was a company where the CEO allow that to happen under his watch nevermind facilitated it if you were the head of the company and it happened you

87:16would have to step down oh yeah this guy got elevated to Pope crazy well they did it that way for so long I mean there's so many did you ever see hear no evil it's a documentary about it no I can't watch those documentaries are rough man there's quite a few of them and I usually make it like 45 minutes into them where I'm just I'm crying and I can't handle it yeah it's just and here's the thing most of those guys who were perpetrators were victims at one point in their life of course ninety percent I would say crazy what a horrible horrible system of you know not a system but you know a repeating action in yeah and that's the thing about the the way it spreads you know every time somebody's molested they you're crea you're creating other predators yeah yeah so crazy yeah I don't we went we went to a pretty cool church growing up and the priests were apparently I found out later we're all

88:25having affairs with women in town really yeah this one guy I won't say is say it father McDonough that piece of not a kid right yeah letter way better that's the whole problem bang in people's wives yeah you know like we like Eucharistic ministers you know they the Eucharistic ministers are the people that go to church but they're they're so special that they can actually go give communion to people that are home homebound uh so the pre they were in the inner circle and the priest would have a little fare so he would go over like maybe grandma was bedridden he'd go over give her the service then slip it to the dog house call yeah yeah no that's not what he did now it was like the people that were the minister's just they became close to the priest because they would have to go to him to get the the bread blessed and then they would take it in like a

89:27takeout bag and they would deliver it to the people that were home bedridden mmm yeah yeah yeah I mean they those religions become so ingrained in people's behavior patterns mmm I mean it becomes a part of the community you can't be like I have quit in the church like what are you talking about Bobby yeah right we go to church on Sunday yeah whole family goes we got up on Sunday best on we go to church yeah it's a he becomes a part of you're not just your life but the way you socially interact with your friends and your loved ones yeah get everybody together it's like it's part of the sunday bonding oh and your child being christened and getting their first communion these are big like landmark moments in your kid's life you know if you think about it like you get your communion around the time that you begin puberty you know they're all based on cycles of nature you know Jesus was born

90:18in reality in April but according to the church December 25th which is right at the winter solstice when the door start it's like it's all built into nature it's all pagan and its origins right and all the ceremonies that you go through are tied into you know rites of passage in people's lives that's why it's so weird like when they were trying to convert pagans during the Roman days they're like wow you know I do this thing the winter so it's like what a coincidence Jesus is born the same time no no way yeah come on board come on boy most of the pagan gods and and most of the world religions the Messiah was born during the winter solstice hmm and there was and many of them died and rose up in the in this spring which is with the vernal equinox right around Easter Oh his lands right around the vernal equinox well you gotta think for those people back then

91:10like everything was about the crops rising and gathering food and fertility that was everything yeah everything was about whether or not you could make a baby with a knight you could feed your family I mean if the crops went bad you had a late frost or something like that and things died you were yeah especially as you had 12 kids oh no birth control shoot loads all willy-nilly yeah yeah and you know and it was a it was a sin for a woman to say no you had to do it I mean you look at you really oh yeah with a Catholic Church you can't say no to your husband really no way man it's a crime it's a sin Wow you can go to the priest and complain about it on the priest ago give up the post that's right whoa yeah no no birth control either that's the other thing that's crazy oh yeah you know we got to create Christian soldiers that's what that's where these rules came from is that it

92:06was about populating with as many of our guys as possible yeah so they don't want to limit you having kids well there was no birth control at the time I mean back when that was all going on well you can pull out and come my girl's face legally it's mandatory but you think about like birth control today I think it's great that people have the option for birth control 100% I'm not anti birth control I think it's amazing but it's very weird for a girl to have hormones in her body that are artificially put in there that trick our body into thinking it's pregnant yeah and they go through this whole cycle of it and what's really fascinating is women lose their ability to discern certain smells that they get from men whether or not a man is compatible like they've done these studies with a took women on birth control and off birth control and they could smell men's

93:02clothes like a woman off birth control can smell a man's clothes doesn't know anything about him and can this condition whether or not she'd be attracted to him a certain a certain degree of success huh yeah but that's out the window soon as they're on the pill when they're on the pill they're just the body's all confused they're pregnant they're not thinking about that right and so they lose this sort of weird sense of compatibility Wow yeah this was they start responding only to Axe body spray smell dating what is this the first argument mall order mail-order dating service so really like yeah you like mail a shirt and I send you t-shirt you wear this shirt for three days and three nights without deodorant and return the shirt to us and a prepaid end envelope we send you swatches of t-shirts worn by a selection of other individuals you smell the samples and tell us who you

93:56like someone smell you like likes the smell of you two we facilitate an exchange of contact information the rest is up to you Wow I'll tell you what my white I remember like the first date I had with my wife we rode boat we rode bikes over the Brooklyn Bridge and we it was it was a hot summer day and then we fooled around a little bit and I remember smelling her and being so aroused it was like to this day first smell turns me on yeah people are compatible with each other in smells and real that's legit it's a very strange thing though right well look at every every animal smells yeah I just watch this planet Earth special and it was about I figured which kind of wild cat it was but they go they travel for like hundreds of miles and there's certain rocks that they know to rub their backs up against and leave an odor and the other ones in the territory go to that same Rock and

95:01they smell it and they rub on it and then they decide who to mate with based on these like a specific tree or a rock that are like miles away from each other Wow hmm that's crazy it's really crazy when you think about how an animal has a sense like their sense of smell is like something like almost like we don't have a sense of smell yeah like what they can't make it smell fear and adrenaline they can stick it smell all kinds of weird they can smell animals from hundreds of yards away yeah the wind blows up no they can smell that we we don't have a goddamn chance of smelling there's no way smelling is so weird I was in my car on the 10 freeway the other day and there was a small fire on the west side I was seven miles away windows up and I could smell smoke yeah and you really think about physically how the did that scent travel that far through my car and into

96:01my nose well what's craziest skunks yeah right they say skunks give you a sense of how an animal smells because the parts-per-million of skunk smell that you can pick up is a lot like how a dog could pick up the smell of like a robber right when they give a dog a t-shirt like areas go get him boy yeah and they run around like that yeah that's apparently very similar very similar like when you smell a skunk like you could smell skunk and you're like oh it's over to the right like you know where it is it's weird yeah you could be on the street you look oh you smell that and you go like that to the left you go like that to the right and like oh it's over this way you can you could smell skunk from blocks away yeah blocks I mean imagine a smell you could smell from blocks away and it comes out of an animal the size of a football yeah that's crazy all right it's not a lot of

96:49scent this is a little bit of a spray that's like if you took a hair spray can and just held it down for two seconds like Shh that's what a skunk spray yeah I got sprayed once did you yeah we were in Newport Rhode Island we had this house and it was it was a converted horse stable so there was just there was 21 of us living in the house one summer and there were people literally there were stables that had cots in them and people slept in those and I think there was like three bathrooms in the entire place and so there were skunks there were skunks that lived in the basement of the house and the house just smelled like skunks and then one night I hear this clunking out in the garage it's like clunk clunk and I opened the door and I walk out and there's a skunk and he's got his head jammed in a small Hellmann's mayonnaise jar and he's trying to bang his head on the ground to get it off

97:45Wow and I felt so bad for the thing that I got there was a golf club in the corner and I got the golf club I went over and I hit I hit the the glass trying to break it off oh Jesus and the skunk squirted me and then ran outside and disappeared and I don't know if he died or whatever but that stayed on me for days yeah my dog got hit when I was in Boston he got hit or she got hit it was a girl dog she got hit and I washed her in tomato juice you're supposed to use my juice didn't work yeah it kind of worked but it didn't really work yeah I smell like for days days forever yeah oh how it even wears off you know yeah I guess it's uh it's a weird defense mechanism you know very weird yeah you know they got the big stripe so you associate them with the smell and you say all about it's a alcohol file thing here's that I was actually reading the part about tomato just won't work

98:44tomato juice won't do it it's just a strong smell that attempts to cover up the smell of skunk what you need is chemical that will change the composition of the Thyle group fortunately baking soda and hydrogen peroxide are cheap mild and will do the job interesting so baking soda and hydrogen peroxide now oxidizing agents meaning they will attacks attach oxygen atoms to the sulfur atom and in the Thyle pairing and take away its ability to stink Wow interesting and water makes it worse - apparently the chemicals are flammable so under the right conditions we can have a little striped flamethrowers running around the woods Wow imagine that you take a skunk you force him to spray and you just hold a lighter up to his oh I think you got a new Marvel character yeah skunk man yeah that's crazy that it's an alcohol-based spray coming out of an animal yeah that's also like how

99:45the does something evolved to spray I know out of all the different possible things that could have happened through natural selection a skunk is one of the weirder ones yeah is there flowers to do that is there a stink that's spray I think there's flowers that do you think they when they open they smell yeah I know what you're talking about I think that is a flower that is a trap for rats they eats rats it smells like rotten yeah yeah yeah you know there's like Venus flytrap yeah right there's also one that attracts rodents and it opens up and it smells like rotten meat and they fall in it and it just closes up on them and they can't get out might not close up on them they might not just not be able to climb out of it it's like a metaphor for marriage right after you get done to this day I love the smell on my wife but I can't get out see if you can find that thing of a

100:46plant that eats mice yeah there it is newly discovered carnivorous jungle plant that gobbles rats hole look at that poor rat amazing bro I'm in here I'm gonna plant plants got me bro deep in the jungle primeval what is it how do you say that name Neb nippon 'this Knepp infest actin biragi with two eyes awaits its furry prey it's not a stealthy cat or a poisonous lizard it's a plant and it eats rats it's been named after the famous naturalist and TV personality Sir David Attenborough meat-eating pitcher plants their pitcher plants discovered by science and time of meat eating plant that's insane if an unlucky mouse or bird became a meal it was a a retreat but this one is a vertebrate specialist so there are some that he insects and spiders but an unlucky Mouse or a bird is rare but these plants this giant plant is a specialist in rats they lure rats with the promise

102:01of sweet nectar but when the rat leans into the plant to drink the saccharine liquid it slips on the pitchers waxy interior and gets stuck in its gooey SAP once it's trapped acid like digestive enzymes break down the still-living rodent huh come on how does that happen to better explain the whole process as well as the lifecycle of pitcher plant there's a video by David Attenborough the poisonous pitcher plant you could find that the private life of plants plants are so complicated yeah this so it's so fascinating they'd just develop like that's one of the real gigantic problems that people have with the deforestation of the rain forest is there's stuff down there that we haven't even figured out yet yeah is so little of it has been explored did you see that new thing in Guatemala where they're going through the jungle and they found thousands they have some new technology

102:54where they can like see like selling marchers yeah and they found thousands of unknown structures yeah like like building cities like right there used to be a thriving some sort of a thriving community in there yeah and they say that it it proved it disproves a lot of theories about where things had developed at what rate they were so far beyond what we thought they were terms of irrigation and things like that you may I mean it's so weird because we only live to be 80 90 years old right and in that time you barely have enough time to figure out what the you're doing yeah your own life you're like hey what's that stone wall over there it's like nobody knows either the ancient one stanch and ones made it and then you die and then your grandchildren hear the same story oh the ancient ones they built that wall and then someone comes along in like 1990 and goes hey who the

103:42are the ancient ones yeah like let's let's start doing some digs yeah if thank God for archaeologists and all these people that are out there with toothbrushes that cargo shorts with toothbrush for DJ's just scraping at things try to find little bits of pottery and yeah did you see the new radio lab that came out last week no I did not Marty plants oh wow that's gonna freak out there's it's only 30 minutes long it's a really easy listen but there's a couple cool cool cool stories it's like plants might have memory for instance and they they definitely know that they communicate they allocate resources to the more needy amongst them beginning yeah they they have some sort of symbiotic relationship with fungi where they the fungi the the micro Raizel relationship between certain plants and fungus the plants and the fungus like exchange nutrients you know fungus

104:35actually breathes air did you know that they breathe air and exhale carbon dioxide like an animal and then plants breathe carbon dioxide and exhale oxygen huh madness man yeah there they are plants are a life-form and we have this thing in our head that because they don't move or they must be stupid mm-hmm but there's in some way communicating with each other in a method that we don't totally understand yeah which vegans hard Yeah right right that whole self-righteousness and all the craziness that comes along with being a vegan and cruelty-free not to those screaming plants that you can't hear because they scream they scream yeah right they make noise like the end they know when they're being eaten that's one of the weirder things yeah like when they they not only do they know when they're being eaten if you play sounds of a caterpillar eating leaves next to a tree some trees change

105:33the compositionally the taste structure of the way the plants taste to animals they become in that like what's the word unpalatable they taste disgusting Wow they're inedible like so these giraffes starve to death because upwind certain giraffes would be eating and then the wind comes down and through either a smell or sound or some method of transportation that we or a transmission that we're not totally aware of everything downwind is changing its flavor and it becomes disgusting to the giraffes Wow nuts that's amazing feel like someone's eating us it yes it's what's crazy is it's not just something biting into it it's the actual sound of it yeah the sound of it triggers yeah that's what one of the things that talked about is that's how they find water oh yeah yeah yeah I've read about that they hear the sound of water and they they grow towards it Reed's crazy as they've played

106:31recordings of the sound of water and plants grow towards the recordings so what the is going on with those things so they have auditory canals there's some they said the roots have a very similar hair like follicle like we have in our ear which is how you actually hear you're picking up vibrations yeah and the hairs and that's what their roots are made up of tons and tons of tiny little fiber like hairs that become a root it's amazing and the difference is if I eat an animal it's been killed and I'm eating the dead flesh if you're eating a salad some of that shit's still alive yeah maybe that's okay maybe it's okay I mean here's the thing maybe it's all okay but we have this idea that some life is more important than other life intelligent life is more important than non intelligent life yeah right I know they did this whole thing with the Olympics about how how many this like 2,000 dog

107:28farms in South Korea are they breed dogs for eating and you go there and it's like they're just regular dogs a whole variety like you would see in a pet store and you know and we were outraged by it and we've sent out you know there's people that fly over from the states and they adopt one pet meanwhile there's like hundreds of thousands and you get maybe 50 rich Americans come over and adopt rescued or rescued her from a Korean factory they made burgers out of her yeah but that's weird I mean for some people a dog is food yeah and well what is that Jamie you know pigs are like one of the most intelligent animals what is that that's a dog farm at two rows oh my god yeah but meanwhile those are chickens I wouldn't give a right looked alike well I don't like that they have to live like that but I like chicken so you for like stop and go you're in the middle eat and chicken and

108:28you go this is five meals in a row that I've eaten a chicken plus eggs yeah crazy how much of those hormones I must have in my body there's a big misconception about that yeah most chickens that you're eating don't have hormones and them hormones are expensive and you don't have to give the chickens hormones the hormones that the the idea is that you give a chicken hormone that's why they're so big but no there's so big through selective breeding they've essentially like if you take that girl with giant tits and you breed her with a guy whose mom has giant tits and everybody gets together and then you have just a giant tit family yeah that's essentially what they've done with these chickens they figured out a way to breed these chickens where they have preposterous ly large breasts so yeah they can't walk sometime all fear we're all up yeah they're not like a regular chick the chickens I

109:13have in my yard they've they run around they jump up there and they fly a couple of steps there are normal checks - they're flat chested there yeah they're like little gymnastics chickens as opposed to stripper chickens you wanna get some stripper chickens with EE fake tits that can crush beer cans ever seen those gals hold a beer can they take one of their whoppers why is there glitter on the chicken yeah yeah and she's got a backstory why is there a dollar bill inside the chicken yeah so when you think that you're getting hormones from food most likely that's not the case but it's highly likely that especially with beef especially corn-fed beef you're getting antibiotics because they get sick so you're most likely not getting hormones but there's some hormones in the animal themselves and there's a certain amount of selective breeding that I'm sure would have more home more

110:10moans than less which would encourage the animals to have like larger bodies and and develop more food but I think for the most part the largeness is due to their diet like if you take a cow and you feed it grass it takes much longer for them to reach this that they would like the cow to reach before they butcher it but if you feed him corn they fatten up real quick and then obviously that there's extremes like that why goo and Kobe Kobe beef where you get it's just literally a dying animal it's it's filled with fat you ever get those things yeah it's like if mike sullivan irwin was a cow it's just sorry Mike rest in peace god bless you he's up there this this cow is essentially like they've just given this guy this terrible diet yeah and they fat all over their body but not exercise and no exercise even massage them I think yeah I think they do in Japan that's

111:06like part of the deal they give them beer and they massage them is there a happy ending no because they're steers so if they're steers it means in on any balls you know a steer is they take a bull they cut his balls off and that's what a steer is so most the time when you're buying if you buy ground beef I think I hope I'm not wrong with this but I think sometimes ground beef is a cow like a female and they like maybe they stop producing milk or you get to a certain age and they shoot them and then they grind them up but if you buy steaks like USDA prime t-bone get a nice t-bone steak that's coming from a steer so that's a cow that cut his balls off and then they fatten them up huh yeah I know that ground beef is the the cow sometimes I think ground beef sometimes can be steer to like certain cuts you know I think in some cases I hope I'm not wrong about this

111:59but I do know that most of the steaks you get if you buy like a nice revive I thought you're getting it from a steer isn't there also some chemical that's released they say when they slaughter beef that they get scared adrenaline then that you're eating some kind of a chemical sometimes as a result well there is a definite taste that people think happens to an animal when they're scared and you if you shoot an animal and it's wounded and it's scared and maybe you have to follow up with a second shot or something like that that animal will not taste as good as an animal that has no idea what hit it yeah that's why there's a guy that I know that's a chef of a very famous San Francisco restaurant say Psalm I think it is I think that's the name of it he was on my friend Stephen Ellis podcast Steve Rinella has a podcast called meat-eater and he's a pretty famous hunter and chef himself

112:52but one of the things that this chef of this it's like one of the very few michelin blah-blah-blah stars I don't know how many Michelin stars an ass but it's like very very highly rated restaurant he shoots the animals in the head only like when he goes hunting he's hunting and he only shoots them in the head so he has to have like a close shot with a very accurate rifle shoots him in the head so they they die instantly have no idea what happened boom they're dead no adrenaline dump nothing and then that way according to him you get the finest flavor from the food Wow yeah that's a harder shot too because that's the thing that's moving the most on the animal the head could be I mean it could just be sitting there I'm eating a lot of times they're eating grass or something like that I mean this is obviously we're talking about wild animals you know it would be really easy

113:40to do for a cow or something like that they would have no idea they're just sitting there eating you could set up on a bench with a rifle and just take them out and they would have no idea but most of time with cows they use that cattle rod on their brain that that guy used in No Country for Old Men yeah I'm that dude who come around with that he put it on people's heads at pétanque okay yeah that's how they kill cows and there and there's they're being corralled into the into the slaughterhouse and they know what's happening they know something's not good yeah I don't think they know exactly what it is but they definitely think they're oh I think if plants can tell that a giraffe is eating from a mile away I think cows can tell that they're there's a killing field right in front of them you know the worst is kosher oh why the way they do it I don't know about

114:25there's sliced a neck and not bleed out and then they hang them up by their ankles flopping around bleeding it's terrible callable cows yeah when you buy kosher beef there's a very specific ritual that has to be gone through that has to be accomplished in order to proclaim beef kosher has to be a very sharp knife and I believe it all has to be done by a rabbi yeah see if that's true damn yeah but I've watched it watched in videos and it's like okay this is terrible yeah but kosher hot dogs pretty goddamn delicious they're the best they really are I mean it's like it's like two different types of food there's kosher hot dogs and their shitty hot dogs I think kosher also in it has to be hormone free it has to be antibiotics free and I think they have to be on a specific diet yeah well regular hotdogs they put the beaks and the feet everything that's holes dicks and I think with

115:23kosher they don't put all that in there maybe that would make sense yeah good New York City hotdog it's hard some onions on or some rally what do you put on your hot dog I'm a big sauerkraut guy salad got a brown spicy mustard oh come on that come on I like Gray's papaya on Sixth Avenue that's a good spot you get two dogs and the papaya drink for like three dollars it's but yeah yeah that's an interesting place to it's like probably hasn't changed much since the beginning of time no as a matter of fact I know grace Sheila gray is the granddaughter of the guy who started them and the guy who started them was a famous Broadway producer who'd won Tony Awards for some of the shows that he made and then he used the money to buy first the one on 6th Avenue and then he opened up another one up on like 72nd and Broadway there's another Gray's papaya yeah and she's a

116:20great acting teacher I went to her she's a coach and I used to go to her classes and then I went in one time for a private session at her apartment and when I was coming out she was like you got to go you got to go it's like a rush job I'm like what the and I walk out and Mariah Carey standing there waiting to come in and get coached oh that's hilarious yeah that's a weird transition right like it's a normal transition for a comic to become an actor yeah but for a singer I know it's like huh all right rappers can do it no problem rappers seem to be made they make a transition yeah 12 years now Tonight Show Tupac to the Galatians yeah biggie never did a movie though did he no hmm interesting yeah he's my favorite he's my favorite of all time yeah timin nas only one who is knowledgeable in the laws of slaughtering what does that word chef she was where's Ari when we need

117:17him call him up on his flip phone sh e h i T aah santa Chiquita and proficient in its practice and who is a believing pious Jew may act as the slaughterer show het in performance of the commandment it is the prevalent custom that this show het must receive written authorization from a recognized rabbinical Authority attesting to the aforesaid qualifications okay so you have to you have to have written authorization from a rabbi saying that you know what you're doing the shet must be done by means of a swift smooth cut of a sharp knife whose blade is free of any dent or imperfection Wow the Heita he's probably screaming out Haruto sir and entails severing the trachea and esophagus and according with the oral tradition which requires that five improper procedures be avoided lest they invalidate the shahida and render the animal unfit to be eaten Wow there a

118:30hesitation or delay while drawing the knife if you hesitate oh no oh it's over don't eat the cow excessive pressure or chopping you can't eat it burrowing the knife between the trachea and the esophagus or under the skin you can't eat it D making the incision outside the specific area you can't eat it and E laceration or tearing of the trachea or esophagus which would result from an imperfect blade an animal or fowl that has been improperly slaughtered or as already noted that is not slaughtered but dies of itself is considered carrion Novella huh and unfit for food God they're picky that's so picky it is forbidden to slaughter the parent with its young on the same day it's in Leviticus 20 to 28 Leviticus had some hardcore yeah yeah that's a hardcore book of the Bible that's the this the quote from pulp fiction that that saying strike upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger Oh

119:43Ezekiel is a weird to like Ezekiel's the one that the UFO dorks always point to because Ezekiel had some sort of a vision of a wheel within a wheel like some sort of vision that they think was some visitor from outer space no yeah wow I think they were tripping I think they're just eating mushrooms that's what I think well yeah well the last book the about the Armageddon that's trippy that's a bad yeah bad trip wrote it all down well they say that the I forget who wrote the the Book of Revelations but they say that it occurred at the same time as the Pompeii exploded Wow and that he was really just describing what was happening really in Italy when is Pompeii I want to feel like 400 or something ad yeah right well unless the Bible wasn't written until right two or three hundred years estimate right yeah well but a lot of it was like older stories that they had a pick and choose

120:42oh yeah what to keep yeah there goes 70 to 79 August 24th to 25th visit it did you go there when you went to Italy I did not yeah we went it was pretty wild yeah I did not what I was having such a good time in Ravello I just stayed up there and pasta and swam yeah is that on the the Mafia Coast not because yeah we went to Ravello which is up high and then we went to mafioso just down low yeah and then we went to Capri went to the Isle oh you did yeah I hear that that boat ride is a little crowded though it's not the best yeah no just you just deal with it you get to the island you have awesome fish and seafood the food there it's just so so amazing yeah yeah I throw all my dietary restrictions out the goddamn window if I go Italy somehow they don't get fat I mean you're in Italy and these people are eating pasta yep and cheese and wine and they just seem knit a little punch but

121:40that's not it yeah they walk they're crazy yeah is that I also think that they're dealing with heirloom wheat their wheat is a different kind of wheat and it's you know the wheat that we have today and someone corrected me on this I guess I used the wrong term when I said genetically modified it has been modified but it's been modified through traditional agricultural methods of like splicing and you know how are the they did it it's not like it was done with a dude in a lab coat yeah but nonetheless the wheat that you get today is very different than the wheat of say 200 years ago the wheat of 200 years ago was a small plant it didn't have a high yield and now when they what they've done through this selective breeding is create this really thick heavy wheat that has a lot of complex glutens and that's one of the reasons why so many people have gluten sensitivity today

122:29it's just a more complex thing for your body to digest so if you're eating Wonder Bread and and just like all that stuff is just sitting in your gut like oh that feeling that's what it feels like right when you have a big bowl of pasta yeah you feel like there's like because that's what your body's doing your body's like trying to compress and digest and what do we gotta do with all this stuff yeah it's all this glue this just ate right just a paste not only that but why is it with pasta they give you like it's the size of your head do I need that much of this there's no other meal they give you that quantity oh there used to be a restaurant in Santa Monica called ill grano and it's it's done now when it went under but when it first opened it was amazing and Cowan took me there and we ate there and we had squid ink pasta and they would give you like it was a

123:26multi-course meal or they'd give you like a plate of this and play that and every plate was about the size of your fist everything was fairly small that's it right there whoa that was good that's got sea urchin on top of it which is amazing but squid ink pasta yeah the stuff that we had a crab it had Dungeness crab and squid ink pasta to this day I think about it one of the most delicious things about in my life but a small portion yeah not the size of your head right yeah he forgot a cheesecake for Hector you see all the fat people eat their entrees you know what's the worst Buca di Beppo or the best yeah in Columbus yeah long time yeah they give you a goddamn bathtub full of pasta family-style so it's not for one person but yeah yeah misconception they get crazy though they give you like a rigatoni with meat sauce and cheese you like holy yeah who the is eating all this yeah but if

124:24you're if you just want to gorge you just want to go deep it's amazing yeah you know lasagna big trail was my Nana for knows my phone dude pizza on pasta that was one of my favorite Trump stories the Trump story about the pizza with little pizzas on top of it Wow find out that was real that's what he was eating one of the the stories of one of his mistresses that's one of the things that she said is that he ordered a pizza but for the toppings you wanted little pizzas on the pizza not real but that just like him he also got for when he was in New York and he was running he ate a pizza with a knife and a fork and then he got a ton of about that mm-hmm yeah maybe doesn't like is hands dirty it's that tire it is that's all yeah I mean it sounded so fake that it sounds so good though sounds so good that is something that someone should make pizzas with little pizzas as topic

125:23that's real that Trump the Trump part of it was fake like him saying oh but there is really pizzas with little pizzas on top of it who makes that some restaurant I don't even want it I don't want it but I I want to be there when it gets made well what is it that they stuff in the crust of pizzas now look at that it's pizza with little pizzas on top of yeah yeah Wow that actually looks delicious oh it's a bunch of different kinds of little pizzas on top of it huh I like pizza hutt got better did it now pizza Domino's did it Domino is used to really but now it's like decent pizza Wow paid for by Domino's all right when was last time you had it a couple months ago do ya was it bad was it bad yeah yeah I mean I hate to sound like every other New Yorker but it really is it's hard to find pizza out here in LA it's decent it's the water right that's what everybody's yes so but has anybody made

126:20a real pizza where they took the water from New York right and brought it over here can you steal water from New York and bring it to a business in LA could you just like open up a faucet fill up jugs we need it we're going dry again I love it we had a drought last year that was so devastating that it was all anybody talked about and we got wouldn't we get a month of rain and then they just said okay all restrictions are off you know and now of course six months later they're like oh we got another drought coming it's like how about we just don't take 20 minutes showers permanent yeah but they feel good and you're not gonna live forever so yeah all these people yeah get your water from Portland yeah just call I might put a pipe up in Seattle and bring that goddamn water down here well you know that's what was happening during the drought when what's

127:06what's the rich town up by Santa Barbara men Osito Montecito aniseed oh yeah with Oprah and all these people apparently they were bringing in so many tankers fill of water to water their grass that it was like damaging the streets of Montecito and the other citizens were complaining about the tankers that were coming out so the tankers were all up the road that's like there are some rich people up there yeah there's a house that I saw that was up there for sale for 85 million dollars no you imagine how a baller you have to be spend 85 million dollars and then pay the taxes and the maintenance on it oh yeah every month yeah yeah how about your mortgage what's your mortgage on an 85 million dollar house well I'd say it's like a hundred and fifty thousand dollars well on a million dollars what million dollars have cost you about 4,000 a month here we go so Barbara 85

128:00million dollars estimated mortgage three hundred forty three thousand two hundred ninety five dollars a month yeah that's the house look at that house though that is crazy I mean who lives there jay-z does James can jay-z buy the house picking buy because I bought one for like 80 or something in bel-air holla 12 bedrooms 13 bass but that you I would be like if I paid all that money I would have to spend time in my house all the time I wouldn't go anywhere you would feel like that unless you were worth billions of dollars if you were worth billions of dollars you wouldn't give a look they have like a horse thirsty I wonder if they have a heliport oh for sure they probably have like a time machine they probably have all kinds of crazy yeah 19:31 Wow well there's a lot of that up there you know they built it up there that sort of to model Italy there's a lot of

128:55Italians that live up there I mean that's why I has an Italian name and there's a lot of like really legit Italian restaurants yeah the same climate dry mountainous on the ocean yeah they grow a lot of wine up there too yeah I was up there I saw a Lucille Ball she was at a restaurant you saw Lucille Ball yeah no oh no I'm sorry Carol Burnett yeah Wendy Lucille Ball died she died like a long time ago Carol Burnett Carol Burnett still alive yeah I saw Carol Burnett she's having her little comeback now is she well they had like the 50th anniversary of her show and so they did a big one-hour special on TV that was great I watched them I loved Lucy's the other day I watched him on YouTube and I was like wow or somewhere online it's like wow these it's crazy such a time machine such a weird yeah yeah I mean it was so like it was like a play I feel like there was one camera just shooting them

129:46flat the whole time yeah yeah just wide shots of the whole room I think about like what I think about is like how today sitcoms are all everybody's young and gorgeous and then you go back to shows like that and you go like look at the Mertzes but they were like 57 years old back then everybody looked like they were old even when they weren't yeah yeah look at that look at the Mertzes yeah Wow and he was freaking everybody who was desi arnaz oh yeah can you not be big star it was actually really sad she had a booming career and then she wanted to spend time with him and get him involved so they started Desilu productions and I think they were the first talent to create their own studio for their show so they could own it and so he was you know he was the executive on the show like she was and she created this whole world for them to be together and then he just

130:48everybody that's what they did back then especially back then probably nobody knew what like a star was a new thing right right like I played this video yesterday Jamie sent me I put it on my Instagram of Elvis doing karate and it's a crazy video and you watch Elvis do this like nonsense karate yeah and he's so obviously pilled out of his mind so obviously hi that you're what you're watching it you're thinking we're not playing this right what when you don't even play the volume but what so when you're watching this and Elvis is going through all this you realize oh this guy was one of the very first real superstars again there was no road map huh have this guy learned how to behave yeah I mean look at him he's smiling high as a kite now check this out look at this karate the guy's just laying on the ground he stomps on his stomach he goes knee to belly that's legit and look at

131:46this clause the eyes and then the mouth at the same time and then he they're like okay you're dying he's like no no horn Allah say man I got some other ideas hold on hold on puts his hand up nope washes stay close look I got some crowd boos crying moves I'm doing all over him that's a karate move he does all this crazy karate and then it helps I got a bread belt better than black belt look at this the guy throws a punch steps aside I'm gonna step aside throw a karate kick Wow it's he does disarming things in that video too that are pretty funny it's amazing because all my life I had always heard yeah Elvis was a black belt under Edie Parker because Edie Parker when I was a kid is a legitimate karate instructor like everybody knew who Ed Parker Los Angeles boy that's a good question I do not know where he was originally but I know he had I believe yet places all

132:42over the country well your guy yeah where'd he grow up he grew up out here yeah he he went to but I think Edie Parker had a chain like do you remember when we were living in Boston there was Fred Volaris do you remember Fred Villiers karate studios that Fred Volare self-defense studios they were everywhere they're everywhere they're all over the place and what they had basically done is figured out how to teach karate in like a digestible form that like families could go to and it became this big business but Edie Parker was thought of as like super legit like that was one of the guys like there's a few guys you know those American karate people there's of American martial arts people is Dan Inosanto there was you know Bob wall there was Ed Parker like he was a legit guy and I always thought that Elvis was legit well I've never seen until that video I'd only seen like

133:34a couple of things like him on stage throwing kicks that was crit two punches at the end is the craziest because they're nowhere near the guy's head I like guys hands are taped up to gonna paper hands off my on my chair this guy's gonna throw kick I'm sure you go ahead tour kick trot again like he's got a shirt with a collar on underneath his karate gear look at that karate chop something there walks away walk away man walk away Elvis Presley what does it say gladiators project 1974 this guy come on at me like this I'm Taylor now just grab your arm and that guy he's like a real karate guys like this is look he's clawing at the hands oh he's ahead it's got a head yanking o/l bone marrow man get him right here hit him in the back he's like making up as he goes along homo elbow him right in the face and elbow always got a gun that gun I'm a karate of you Wow

134:31but to that guy I mean the the level of fame that he had achieved was unfathomable I mean no one no one no one had any idea what that was and then my fantasy I mean you know marrying how old was priscila 14 or yes is very young and and just oh yeah right now here ma'am I chop your ear i'ma get behind them because a lot of people lay behind you and they're attacking you get behind them I'm just a lookout come on show a touch palm strike to the head try to get me with a gun good luck good luck I'm on pills he was on pills for long oh yeah he's on pills right now yeah he's loving life look at that look at that school where yeah he's gotta go but I don't give a cuz they're gonna gum up my hand and he's gonna stay put get my hand come on peanut burn sandwich there's no way he didn't accidentally punch those guys in the face constantly darn I probably did you know they're probably mad at them

135:32yeah yeah just kept taking it well that's the thing about like karate there was there's always been karate back black belts and they can kind of get away with it because most of the time you don't really spar and when you do spar you kind of like take it light you know like I could've got you right there like yeah you do a bunch of that stuff like I always saw a lot of that you can't that doesn't happen with jiu-jitsu because jiu-jitsu because you can kind of do it full blast like karate can't really you can but it's not it's not wise and you can't do it for very long a few full blast punch and kick each other you wind up hurting everybody yeah everybody's gonna get up right including you you're you would be fighting like fist fighting all the time but with jiu-jitsu because of the fact that you roll meaning you spar but that sparring does not involve striking and you could tap out when

136:21you're in a bad position you can literally go full blast yeah so you really find out people that are good so there's very very few fake jiu-jitsu black belts but occasionally there are some and they get outed and there's some hilarious videos online of guys getting wears it where does Steven Seagal fall in that line he is a legitimate Aikido black belt in fact he was an instructor one of the very first Americans to teach at a dojo in Japan oh no so Steven Seagal but the martial art is the questionable thing it's the martial art of Aikido is it's really a martial art that was created to disarm people with swords the idea was that you lost your sword in combat and someone was coming at you with a sword last-ditch effort is you had to be able to use someone's momentum against them you got to be able to use some guy comes at you with a sword you have to be very adept at catching their

137:21arm and flipping them over here's it's very subtle right let's let's not use this because it's it's it's easy to poke fun at him when he's old but let's go to that black and white one you see that black and white one down there go to that if you go back see that one right there Steven Seagal go to that one now there's some some footage of him when he was young yeah this is a go full screen he's legit he is very legit and he was thin it was a different thing like but the thing is nobody comes at you like yes and a NCAA wrestler would shoot a double on him and take him down faster than you can possibly imagine I mean this does not work it's a dance well it works it it works if someone doesn't know what they're doing or if you have a lot of physical attributes like Seagal is a huge guy he's a very big guy and he probably could pull that off on a lot of

138:16people who don't know how to fight yeah now here this is what it was about what Aikido was really but this is kendo though they're using swords which maybe they dude use some of that net Kido but what Aikido was originally created for I hope I'm not mistaken was learning how to disarm that the guy comes out of with a knife and he flips the guy and takes the knife away he's using the guy's energy against him that was the original intention of Aikido but in terms of a Japanese martial arts Aikido was never thought of as the most effective judo is far more effective because judo involves people grabbing people and flipping them and slamming them on the ground like there's a great video of an old judo master see if you find this video this is this guy he looks like he's about 8 years old he weighs about 13 pounds and he is lit you can tell especially someone who knows martial arts you can

139:11tell when someone's just giving in the problems a lot of these demonstrations of Iquitos guys are just giving in like this old dude watch this old dude the old dude in the right-hand side is so much bigger than the other guy and they're walking the guy around and like he's really throwing this right this is legit like this guy's trying not to get thrown and he doesn't know what to do he trips him to the ground there but this old guy is tiny but he's using perfect leverage and perfect technique yeah and he looks really old in this picture like the guys trying to throw him there and he can't pull it off yeah and he can't pull it off because the older guy has perfect position and perfect what is the name of this video perfect leverage look at this nine years old judo master is the name of the video online and I don't know if he was really ninety but he certainly looks like he

139:58could be 90 but this old guy just knows how to you notice also the back of his heels are always like lifting up he's moving this guy's trying to throw him and he's just and the guy who's trying to throw him appears to be a black belt at least he's wearing a black belt incredible men it's really amazing so judo was a much more effective martial art and judo was actually what was taught to the Brazilians when count my ADA went to Brazil and taught people in Brazil particularly the Gracie's they taught them Brazilian jiu-jitsu the Gracie's took what was judo at the time and they took the ground attacks of Judo and just perfected them and then honed them and changed them and made them more technical and really worked on utilizing leverage and utilizing submissions and they they turned that into Brazilian jiu-jitsu so judo is standing as well as ground yes

140:59there's a ground aspect of judo I was like Ronda Rousey's probably the most famous submission artist in the UFC and her background was in judo she was a judo player and very good at judo she was a bronze medalist so when she would get a hold of people she would just throw them on their ass and flip them and toss them and slam them to the ground she just had phenomenal judo but also a wicked armbar and that was because the knee Wazza the the ground attack very part of jiu-jitsu comes from judo so there you go yeah my father did judo when he taught it to me and my brother and then I remember my brother was bigger than me and he used to flip the out of me and then he did it to me one day and my father grabbed him and flipped him down on the ground it was like this is not good this isn't like passing on no knowledge this is just a violent family out of control this is dad drunk he was six

141:50foot two cigarette in his hand cigarette yeah yeah judo's legit judo is way more legit than Aikido something like he does not legit like it's a lot of pressure points and holding the wrist and this is really different yeah most of it is throws and learning how to take an attacker like if you just charge forward an Aikido guy you have your right hand come on like cocked and ready and just run out and throw that punch of really good at Keita I was gonna grab that flippy and slam you in the ground right but you know how often does that come up yeah you know most especially today when people actually know how to fight it's just the difference it's too limited yeah there's a lot of martial arts like that like there's certain aspects of karate that are applicable but there's a lot of it that's really limited you know and just if you were gonna teach your daughters like my daughter is 14

142:43I'd love for her to get into some martial arts what would be the most effective jiu-jitsu self-defense Jiu Jitsu yeah ten percent hundred percent because with Jiu Jitsu first of all you use a lot of your legs and a girl has strong legs your body you're carrying your body around all the time with your legs you can catch a guy in a triangle or an armbar and break his arm or choke him to sleep with your legs I mean there's a lot of girls that would a lot of guys up on the ground just by using arm bars and leg locks because an arm bar is your whole body against someone's arm or a triangle is your whole body particularly your lower body but you're using your upper body to to pull down on the head against the guy's neck and arms so you're squishing the neck and the arms together and then you're pulling down ahead a girl could absolutely put a guy a girl could put me

143:31to sleep a girl's got a good triangle is like a legit black belt and I get caught in a triangle I will have to tap out yeah fact you know legs are strong man yeah think about what you do with your legs you know you can't how long can you walk in your hands I mean who's the what's the world record for walking on your hands it's like an hour if you walked to Disneyland I mean it's fun you're hours and hours on your feet yes right no problem at all all right what's the world record guy walked on his hands a woman actually did it 5,000 meters in 8 hours whoa yeah she's a savage 5,000 meters what's that in American how many hours eight how did she eat how do you eat upside down instead meets took took eight hours off eat can't do it can't take it out I use just I did gymnastics for like six years and I could walk like a on your hands I can still walk on my hands can you really why

144:32don't the wrists now who knows but like I could literally I would walk around the house on my hands when I was a kid it's a cool skill to have it looks cool back flips to back it used to standing back flip do that no problem Jesus Christ record for defending fifty stairs Jesus Christ on your hands I did it in 14 seconds there's 14 seconds look at this savage he's got some pads on his hand but he's guards he's walking down those stairs like he's on his hand on his feet look at that that's crazy that's amazing wow that's just bounce rush Legion they're not regular white people right Russians they're stronger yeah if you think about that part of the world man that's a fascinating part of the world how tough you have to be oh yeah yeah Siberia and now when those Russians gang gangs came to New York it was like a whole new world of organized crime yeah much more hardcore

145:34Italians you think about like the old gangs like the Mafia guys now they seem like kind of soft and cuddly like Oh Godfather it's the Godfather yeah but these Russian guys will just still cut your Achilles tendon out cuz you owe him 10 bucks happened me once somebody cut your Achilles tendon yeah no no I knew you were faking cuz you had the hint of a joke in your face but part of me was like really you would have told me that already I just remember see these these Russian guys they just they look hard they've just been out cold their whole lives Russian women too yeah hard beautiful yeah yeah powerful genetics yeah they lost that ton of men in the wars right you know yeah how many Russian soldiers died in World War two millions and millions millions millions millions starve to death apparently yeah yeah it's just a hard part of the world man not like LA today was 50 degrees

146:33people like oh my god it's so cold I got a car I got a winter coat in the car oh yeah running today and I ran into my friend she one of my neighbors she had gloves on and a sock hat and like a one of those what are those Patagonia buffy jackets right dude my daughter you know she surfs she was out 6:00 in the morning she was in the ocean this morning so god damn that's hardcore you raised some hardcore kids dude yeah she does it year-round they're an animal yeah tougher than me both tougher than me that's amazing yeah congratulations yeah she's a badass well you gonna see your son play today so let's wrap this up bring it home Greg Fitzsimmons you're on the road soon what do you got well this weekend bananas bananas and housework Heights New Jersey ever been there one is it it's my first time it's fun place yeah I'm excited about that and then I got dates coming up March 17th Saint

147:34Patrick's Day you want to do it when is the improv March 17th I think I'm out of town I think I'm in hold on a second yeah I'm in Orlando all right and then we got sorry I'm like I got dates coming up in a little while right Rochester New York May 11 through 13 what's the website Fitz Fitz dog Fitz dog calm DC May 18 through 20 and pick it see tune second and third and Fitz dog radio you can get on iTunes it's still on Sirius Sirius XM Monday night boom that's it it's it good night Godspeed