Owen Smith

00:03boom and we're live Owen you going Australia are you moving there that's what they say man I get a lot of Australians come to the store and when I perform it to seller a lot of Australians are fly over here you see comedy it's crazy yeah it's great they take comedy vacations it's super common you ever see like a hot dog spot and this is like world famous when I talk to an Australian I can say I'm world famous but I've never been over there well I think a lot of them come over here just like it mate let's go to Australia and get a fly over there Los Angeles and see this like over there they've got more people in their state than we have in our entire country there's more people in the greater LA area then it's higher the entirety what's that feel you know and they're as big as the United States yes Hugh yeah it's huge so that can it's the size I can take

01:03contiguous United States I think the lower 48 I don't think it's included but it has less people than Los Angeles I learned that lower 48 term when I was in Alaska I didn't even know that yeah they did barely army yeah yeah it was crazy yeah how was this up here yeah this is America too yeah lower 48 the ice you have a joke about sarah pale and i'm like that's a frozen puerto rico that's what that is that's Larry those people are cool as though yeah man I loved it everything was rustic that was the end for light is the book on my spoon man that's rustic hanging on things I became a nerd to us I like the aurora borealis night it was beautiful moussah closing whales like breaching or you know yeah Resurrection Bay I think is where I went really I loved it I went in April so it wasn't too cold but it was still cold as yeah it's it's weird up there because the people are just they're so

02:08accustomed to like the trials and tribulations of nature they feel like they're Hardy or folk oh yeah definitely definitely they're not consumed with like the stuff that we are bothered with and they everybody has a plane like every other person had a plane in their backyard a bush plane yeah dude this part this place is going crazy we lost Garrison Keillor and went down they get crazy kilo talkin dudes still slow talking public broadcast radio could use your donations we love bringing you quality content but it comes at a price yeah the first guy to go down was that John Ghomeshi guy who is that the CBC guy that was choking oh he was like mr. calm and kind and progressive and I'm a FEMINIST trust it I can call myself a feminist ladies you listen you cannot trust I'm not the best human being in the world but I swear to god what you see is what you get yeah

03:22all right gotta be careful with these male feminists that is just that is a sneaky ploy to get what was that one who was it was it Eric Weinstein that was telling us about a particular type of cuttlefish that pretends to be a female so he can get in close with the male's and then because the male's don't recognize him as being a threat what was it sneaky sneaker male like a sneaker male Larry yeah and they often operate like underneath the large cuttlefish right and with all the females bangs on the sneak tip that's the dude that's like I understand you yeah sneaker male cuttlefish of Thailand there it is yeah so it literally is like a transgender cuttlefish it tends to be a woman but really it's just trying to get some that's it and it's its strategy is not to be the big you know ever-present dominant male but instead just slip around yeah the girls that's

04:24like oh that's like the one street in a ballet yeah he's like the women complain to me and all the other guys and didn't end up smashing them all like the one straight dude in a church choir no one you see those guys who they really are when one of the ballerinas boyfriends show up yes straight dudes to them yeah you you've been trying to know you've got this whole thing cultivated you're watering it all putting fertilize your calendar you got your fake books you're pretending to read that you leave out yeah yeah that we do everybody has Garrison Keillor's he was he was probably too you know just the intellect man he was a professor he was the yeah historial crush right Lake Wobegon he created this whole world it was prince in mystic and Garrison Keillor yeah so look at him look at that dude dude was slinging Dickens I don't know here's the thing though man all the

05:34chick has to do is hate you that's what scary yeah you're guilty yeah it's the bucket is so wide it's like it's the Weinstein of it all and then it's I don't know yeah an hour of it all I don't know what Matt did yeah I don't know what he did either but then there's like the louis c.k angle where he doesn't even touch it he just jerks off in front he like oh boy say no he's like you don't know what it's like to have a dick who would put everything in peril scissors sir go off in front of something like you know this is gonna come back on you yes so it has to be some something which a dick that makes you go I have to do this I think it's I've been saying this for a while I think it's one of the things that like makes people funny too is that ridiculous way of you in the world you're just chaotic yeah impulsively you're nutty the next thing you know you're like Kendrick

06:26off in front of you like what let me see how ridiculous and it probably worked it might have worked for somebody yeah that whip it out like the whip in your dick out thing like I know dudes that that would people tried to get me to do that in Cana say like yo you should just pull your dick out I'm like that works yeah and I was like I never had the courage to just yeah pull my dick out in front of a girl what else we're doing all the time but when it does work like holy I gotta figure out what the rhythm is right there's some times where it can't work and you're like what how does that how's that possible but then other times where you'd pull your dick out girl be like what the I'm sorry Jesus you can't bat baseball averages which in a game that it's a low hours of no average it's a low average and those back and hit that one out of a hundred today man are coming out yes and if you

07:37have like a freak girlfriend yeah when you're in high school or something like that and just ruins your perception and you know what else a lot to do is up the strip club they hang out there so they have this false reality of what you know oh yeah woman is this anyone any go I'm just trying to talk to a regular woman and like well you gotta get to know me first like you you just getting used to dealing with freaks yeah you're dealing with freaks all the time they have a different different parameter not like the lady in the office that handles accounting they got on her no that is nice when you meet a woman who has agency over her body and knows what she likes that could you up when you go and you dealing with somebody that's not that free yeah yeah that could be that's a problem where we're girls just they're not freeze the right word right they know she's relaxed

08:26enough or comfortable enough in their own skin or you know what they like and just can tell you and like yeah yeah yeah and that's when you have to decide if you really like her because if you do like focus on her and and bring that out of her and you don't like her it's gonna be hard yeah I did a girl once a long time ago way back in the day I was in my 20s and I loved having sex with her but I hated hanging out with I said I know man is that is that she would you how'd you how'd you try to like ghost her when you were she got mad at me getting mad at me they just get mad at you you're not doing what they want you to do you're not marrying them you got this you know that you're not that crazy don't think about that you got what you wanted and then you had to sit through that moment of her being upset with you you knew it was coming but you already got what you wanted he's known saying

09:23blow the part of her behavior was like a game to try to get me in yeah you know like part of her freak yeah it was just like she knew that that's what I want from her you know so she would just act like the freakiest like your dick right now yeah I mean - yeah like we're in the movie theater I'll suck your dick right oh Jesus but I'll take you and then when you go all right I'm good yeah what how could you exactly exactly yeah like some part of like that behaviors like they know that other girls don't behave like that yes if they just turn this up to nine like whoa is dope and then you think about it all the time and it gets exciting then after sees mad at you that's when I would date her no dicks in the meme like moving out right before how come you're like who doesn't like movies yeah friend of mine was talking me about this about like a girl that has been like real open about

10:18all the different guys she and all that and now she's gonna settle down but I was promiscuous in the past right and I'm not doing that anymore and the guys like what a guy hears that you're like wait a minute I missed it I missed the war borealis it's the worst yes it could have been here in April what I saw the lights in the sea yes it's lettuce yeah I hate born-again virgin I get it though ain't doing it no more till I get married it's like you guys got two kids like you have you guys the is my turn it's my turn to do to see people be who they are man when you see that the thing is like this is what men do and with also what women do we try to change the person we're with like this dude doesn't dress good but I just get him the right clothes just teach him how to groom his hair yeah you know get them to where there's more stylish things yeah yeah they'll just

11:11start to change you these things start looking better you confidence gets up like why am i with you I wanna get with her I had a buddy of mine who would get girls and get him to go on a diet he would date cute girls that were like a little chubby and then take him to a gym and it value I was like what are you doing and he's like nah this way like they really like you you get them and then you can make them hot but that's a lot of work it's it's chaos you can't mean you might work but it's like the whip the dick out thing one out of a hundred it's gonna work yeah the other girl's gonna be hiding candy like how can we not losing any weight or the dude you know a girl takes it chubby dude and bring them to gym on time I can't make a chubby dude like a fitness freak you know it's like people are they are they are they are they are they are man I'm uh but I am I'm trying to get lose some

12:00weight are you I'm doing I'm trying intermittent fasting I do that I mess with that yeah I do that every night oh we're yeah well except on vacation I gained five pounds even though it worked out every day on vacation every day yeah but I drank and ate everything I gained five pounds in a week that's crazy it's crazy that's crazy Wow yes I just wanna know how many hours do you go what I eat eighteen fourteen fourteen yeah that's probably what I'm doing I think yeah I do 10 p.m. at night you know I do 10 p.m. at night and then or 8 p.m. at night rather and then 10 a.m. in the morning oh so it's not bad so I'm done eating everything no more food after 8:00 p.m. at night and then they have 10:00 a.m. in the morning to start eating oh that's dope it's easy all right yeah yeah it's just you know what man it's like that feeling when you come home from the store though

12:49to eat something yes no but you just got to pass that up you know we know what that's like how to pass up having something to drink at night like glass of water some like that because it's always like 4:00 in the morning yes yeah they not good sleep yeah get up you got a piss go back to bed again but a couple nights I've been good and discipline or after a certain time no liquids yes like a baby all through the night like you did something yeah another thing I do now is I work out in the morning yes what I've been doing work out in the morning before I eat I think I figured it out so I think I figure I'm gonna do it I try to burn I started winning a heart rate monitor finally oh and I try to burn a thousand calories in my workout that's what I try to get to that's a lot yes a lot and so but if I can get to the thousand then if I try to if I eat 1,800 calories down

13:40all day then that 800 for sure you don't saying that's what that's what I'm trying I'm one day three do you go but do you follow a specific type of diet are you eating specific foods so I mean I try to be more on the plant-based tip mm-hmm but I'm not I'm not a vegan because I wear leather and all that stuff I'm not and I think vegan is like I love what it represents but I think they're marketing that's not the best where people are running from that turn so I just like well people running from there's a lot of people that are vegan they're just concept and you know yes know the famous power lifter very motivational guy but like dude right but he was saying that he he doesn't even say he's vegan anymore you're so goddamn militant I'm not doing this for the animals I'm doing this for my health right but if you say that people got mad at him so he's like I just say I

14:35eat vegan most the time yeah yeah that's what he says yeah I got it but the vegans that are good people that are just doing it because they care and they're kind they get a bum rap because of all the psychos and those psychos almost always have like a vegan in their name yeah vegan warrior yeah vegan earth goddess it's vegan first but you know it's funny if vegan is last they tend to be cooler like this it's like is I'm this person in there vegan like my man happy vegan he a show Eppie vegan TV imma do I went through a segment when he comes to town and uh okay I like that cat he's the cool I like a lot of vegans yeah but I'm I'm like I'm not myself I mock myself how the am I not gonna mock my wife isn't vegan I try to in but she'll eat stuff that I'm making it's our show placate me I did I took a huge loss on Thanksgiving oh I made two pies I like the cooking stuff so I made two

15:28sweet-potato pies mmm yeah one one with milk and butter and all the stuff that you had growing up oh and I did that and then I made one vegan what just to see what would uh what people were like and man it was just one slice taken out of the vegan but they tore the other pie yet of course to take the fridge what's in the vegan one so instead of eggs you make flaxseed eggs but then it's everything else it's the same it's the same and instead of using half and half you use like on you use a it'll be like almond milk mix but like coconut milk that's all right and then you do and then but the same all sugar flour all that's the same and no eggs no egg just just but eggs you can't taste eggs when I eat them is just eggs is a binding agent right just holds it together when I was in Hawaii last week we made no key when I took a class it's a potato pasta they were talking about that at the

16:46store I've never had that oh it's delicious is that good yeah it's cool makes good no key though because everyone's eye contact divert like I was amazed good no be like man oh I want I want to taste it like what is this it's just it's an Italian food you just got to go to a good Italian restaurant and they make good no yeah yeah yeah I just find a good Italian place that has pasta no no key most likely yeah and it's not spelled in oki shoji there's a genius on there I've always when you open a menu and you know I was like you know I'm like lamb chops yeah no keys nothing like suck and then my meal is detrack right it's probably been sitting here my whole life fancy Italian restaurants and just never it's an interesting pasta because it's a pasta made with like they make it with potatoes okay they boil potatoes and they smash them down and then they they

17:47get it to a certain consistency they cool it off and then they add certain amount of flour like we did the whole thing we chopped it up we we pressed it into you roll it you roll the flour out it's like a little tube then you cut little sections of it you make your nokey with the sections and do you have to then we bake that oh do you yeah they boil it they boil it oh yeah boil I think I didn't watch him do it and I'm pretty sure they boil it though make a dill sauce and then we had a bunch of different sauces wheat though the chef cooked it with three different sauces he cooked it with a bolognese sauce he cooked it with a it was like a cheese sauce with with walnuts right like a walnut I forget what kind of cheese and then there was another one one other sauce a pesto I love I make fresh pesto yeah it was good man yeah it's really good yeah man I just I think if you just cut out

18:37bread and then cut out pasta those are the two big ones no pasta yeah but that's potato pasta so that's different Tiffany yeah it's not as good for you as like some things but I don't think it's nearly as bad for you as green ring I think Green is just the terrible have you gotten through I haven't gotten tonight that dude's book Wheat Belly yeah we belly no I haven't but I watched a documentary on the plane coming back from Hawaii and about wheat let me see the funny name of it is but it was it was a trip and it was all talking about the roundup chemicals that they saw out there it is and they were talking about how people say well it only affects bacteria and they were saying yeah but yeah bacteria and your gut right yeah what's what's with wheat yeah that's the the name of the documentary it's it's not good I tried watching it that dude was talking I was

19:31just I couldn't I was already man I was falling this drone and on yeah yeah that's the problem with all those academics yeah like to be the type of person that could sit down do that kind of research right painstaking you're not consuming you're boring us you need those people man right those people the only ones are gonna do it you're not gonna do it don't do it no I know we need those people yeah tests yeah and then just explaining to you the dangers of complex glutens yeah man so yeah that's that's my goal so I'll check back in with you in like six weeks see if any way I need them three days in feeling strong though right I'm talking about it publicly I'm usually really private about what I'm doing man yes I think talking about it publicly is important hey man once you punch it out there yeah once you get over 40 I feel like I thought you can eat whatever you want

20:18until you're 40 because you want to get one intestine hmm so then you have to start your body loses enzymes that will break it down as vigorously because I have a son now and I watch my son my son need anything right and he's is energy is high you know and all of that but when you get older you lose some of those enzymes I feel like enzymes are like government workers like you eat a steak tonight who gonna get that I'm getting that for 40 years every night sometimes we're gonna get there and so then it's it's and it's it's plus your sons growing -4 calories just don't start he's starting to speak sign language now like just little things you know he knows more we give him some food and we taught him more and he just looked at it's like we were silly and then like a couple hours ladies like come on bring it well in the beginning they say sign language is a really good

21:13thing to teach kids do they can't really formulate the words yes the mouth that's why they get frustrating they start crying yes I can't tell you what they want but they know what they want samay zhing they don't know a language yet yeah it's interesting and he's a huge prints fan yeah yeah you know about I love playing records and so my wife got me a dope record player for Christmas and we play Prince's Purple Rain on there and if I play anything else you just wants Prince right really and I'm and I'll go you want you want to hear some music with dinner and he'll run to the record player and you'll start China how old is he he's 14 months Wow yeah and so like he understands things like I'm gonna get the ball and he'll get it and then we'll play but I could see him wanting to say it occasionally he'll sit and just stop mocking me I'll say get the boy but I like I could see him China

22:03just saying trying to say what I just sit in the same rhythm wait till you start stalking you that's when it's real wait wait I have a little conversations with my kids yeah and just while I'm talking to them I'm talking to them about what we're talking about uh-huh but most of my brain is like I can't believe you can talk yeah I know I can't believe you're a person and we're we're you're a seven year old person and we're exploring the world together we have talking about stuff yeah my kids are way too aggressive with me physically though especially my littlest one but my seventh girl all girls man my seven-year-old she tackles me all the time just full-on charge like I'm indestructible she takes MMA so she will slam into me grab a single leg throw her shoulder into me if I plop down the bed she gets on top of me she drops on top of me in the mount just

23:01start punching my stomach she thinks it's hilarious cuz I'm like a toy she feels like she could just beat on me her pick her up all the time I put her on my shoulder she's like this could just carry me I can't even hurt him Roundy wail on him that's so funny hilarious man she's so aggressive man I want my son to know how to do all that stuff oh yeah get him involved early then I'll be it'll be a normal part of life so that way like bullies and conflict it won't bother them because I had to fight yeah I had to make bullies laugh dude big do yeah but I got a short torso so light five eight sitting down when I used to I grew up in Maryland so I used to you know we have public transit and stuff so whenever I would be on public transit I would always see the dudes that yo we got one and then I would have to stand up there like oh never mind but yeah my height saved me a lot and that's very

23:57funny helped me a lot too yeah being funny is the good ones like all this guy's not trying to be dominant yes be the silly dude yeah okay we like you yeah you know what I used to do - no only I only told Colin Quinn is still when I grew up in these apartments Pembroke apartments and in Prince George's County Maryland there was his mom bully who would steal people's bikes and and he was star fights on everything and so I had I played sports are you know so one of my trophies broke in my mom took me to some place to fix it and I did not know that there was a place that existed were you I just thought trophies appeared you know I mean as a kid right so when I saw this was the spot what I used to do was I was saving my allowance and I will go to the trophy spot and buy like a karate trophy just long enough for this one dude to see me who I knew would be like the town crying right and

24:54I would always act embarrassed about it like oh you almost and yeah and that's how we talked was a youngster I mean my mother got me taking karate and I won Miss Neil - oh you won't cry you nice like that don't tell my body man I go say and you know these and then like you know a couple of months ago by ago by a little bigger dude never mess with me he never met thank God thank God no one was like oh I can fight but I don't but it was like the word got out enough because nobody knew karate I'm saying like if you heard I did i do did karate I was enough like you didn't want to get embarrassed right it gave me like free passage - dude had some hilarious be be my corny self be out you know thank you very clever way of handling and mr. pieces they were like five bucks bucks three bucks and I'll go put it on and then so I'm was acting in the early age there's all that but I just

25:54landed I no way he's gonna be you know as soon as he saw me I'd go back in the house I didn't want like a big you know me that's very clever like psychologically the right guy that couldn't keep his mouth shut yeah yeah and he was so funny too cuz um nobody works for TMZ now probably if if he got out if he got out if I'm right cuz that was in our neighborhood it was people were afraid to dream out loud you know I mean like I wanted to be a comedian since I was nine but I ain't a little body cuz I saw somebody else say I want to be you you can't you know know right so that funny out people want to squash dreams yeah because it's their theory but you don't realize that too you're older right it's their fear did they're pushing on you yeah and so they're in their own way they think they're helping you right like giving you those reality yeah like and you go

26:53you in Boston so you you had this too a lot of people yell at you helpful like you know I mean like it's like a yelling community I don't do that does it yeah so always had like people always yes I lost the street you know like they would be like really emotionally charged like get up Street you know as opposed to hey man and it was never calm everything was you were always yelled it was like a yeah a lot of yelling you know where I founded the weirdest as I worked as a limo driver once and there's this guy that worked in the dispatch and this guy was just like a real bitter dude and he wasn't that much older than me I was 21 yeah and he was probably 26 or 27 but he had given up and he was a dispatch guy yeah and I worked all day I had an eight-hour shift and then after I did the eight-hour shift I'm like hey man I gotta go I got a show tonight yeah and

27:47he's like a lot of guys here work 12 hours a day I go that's great yeah I go but I did my 8 hours I'm going yeah and we need some airport pick up some like I did eight hours I go I'm not working more than eight hours a day for you guys like a part-time job I work eight hours a day I'm gone this called the place where I was supposed to be performing to find out if I was there and something happened and I got switched to another place like the booking game said hey I want to work at this place instead and so I went into work texting he's like yeah he goes you weren't at that place you said you were last I go I was like first of all dude I'm done working right I'm done yeah I got a second of all they switched me the booking you just call this other place I'll go call the other place I'll wait yeah and we're just looking at each other like this guy just doesn't want

28:30dreams he's like yeah you're out there doing comedy you could be making me real money here yeah real money yeah yeah how dare you not see this is the thing they will point to this one dude there was this old dude who worked there mmm and I remember he was this big fat guy who had a Cadillac mm and that was the thing they were saying you know John over here he works it doesn't bust his ass he works about 60 hours a week mmm and he's got a beautiful Cadillac and in this Cadillac he's just sitting there there was a Wow John's got a Cadillac he was like probably in his like late 40s yeah fat dude just could tell you where the best veal scaloppine is is he just sat in his car all day driving around yeah and then I remember thinking like this poor like John makes about $60,000 a year you don't have to bust his ass yeah it's a good living and they point to him look at this Cadillac

29:21they're always like well this is prison this guy's working 16 hours a day like the is going on here man he can't live like that yeah yeah damn it you got that you got to dream bigger than that I'm one of my boys he's doing with really well he could always sing so I think we used to always have those singing groups and uh and we have this it's a local music called go-go music go-go music yeah it's like a lot of percussion and horns and like so cool as to where it's really local in the DC Maryland Virginia area but you've heard gogo like it's it's it's splash it has some national hits like doing the but there's a go Oh doing about oh yeah I experienced a little you yeah yeah oh yeah that so in the 70s these three music programs in all the schools so all these cats were coming out learning like instrumentation composition like all this stuff but like in our era they cut that so but but gogo

30:28bands they still played like live music so we would all try to form Coco groups but we couldn't read music so we would be like your part is boo bah bah Kabul boy that's how he would talk to each other you on the horn you play fun but we didn't know notes or anything we would always like try to do that oh you'll be a little singing group or something like that and one cat could sing so well and I just remember my mom we moved away when I was 13 I remember hoping that he would keep singing years later I'm asleep on my couch man and I love music video so I had it playing and I heard a familiar voice and I wake up it was him why I all started crying on my couch yeah he made it out yeah he's fantastic and uh he got nominated for Grammy two years ago Wow yeah what's his name his name's boot black boot his name's Alfred Antonio Duncan he went up you come black boot

31:23that's what he calls himself he and he calls himself boot black boo professional I mean we were neck we were he was like my brother growing up like I'm an only child but he his real name is alpha but he so that's how we met like probably I don't know how old I was but it was a knock on my door Saturday morning cartoons that's him yeah and so then uh Mambo sauce his name Go Go panting he was in and they have a hit song called welcome to DC that I saw on the video channel and it plays all the time like in in the Redskins you know with the Redskins play and with the Washington Wizards play he's dope and so and he just went viral for marrying his wife like he proposed to his girlfriend and then married in the same day oh no it just happened went viral stuff Oh so but it's how we get like I remember he knocked on my door and I my mom answered in he was how you doing my name is boo

32:25he said my mother won't know if you got a cup of milk we could borrow and my mama's okay yeah but to get some milk and she goes it's my son Owen I go hey I go why they call you boo he said cuz they said when I was born I was so black then I look like the sound of ghost makes so now I was his name boo so then my mom gives him a cup of milk and then he talked back carefully with it but 15 minutes later how you doing miss me um I'm everyone know if you got um a half a cup of sugar she could borrow yeah I've come okay man hey don't miss me I'm up 50 minutes later how you doing miss miss mom I know if you got um one a cheek about you showing your knee to not just one eggs my mom gave them I'm gonna give you two just in case it's in any left came back how you doing miss Smith my mother won't know if you got a quarter cup of oil palm Jesus real talk my mom give him a

33:15couple or comes back 15 minutes later no how you doing miss Smith my mother one know if you won't come over for pancakes my best friend my mom was like that she needs syrup and you could here's my girl I had that that's fun that's how we met that was kind of like indicative of the apartment complex like looking back at it it was like basically all single moms in that apartment and so all raising young boys and we would all go outside and play and give each other bad information in the finger pop girls or whatever whatever try to do backflip whatever it was and um and said I was a it was just a great time in my life cuz I was born in the Bahamas and then my mom left my dad at nine months she moved to DC for like a year and then the Pembroke apartment so I was in Pembroke apartments from there until like 13 or 14 where'd you start doing comedy I started doing comedy in Maryland man

34:25we're the greenbelt comedy connection outside was a huge picture of Martin Lawrence and Dave Chappelle was just bubbling starting to like pop and I actually saw her pal bomb in there and I isn't oh this is a negative story it was fantastic how it happened he went up and he was doing his stuff and it was black crowd at the time you know he was young man with the same age so at the time we were both 19 and he was like just trying to figure it out I thought he was great but somebody was like boo and they just started just a collective boos like yeah I'm gonna be famous I'm gonna be famous like he literally was saying it then he walked offstage and he sat right next to where I was you know that just bomb energy he was just like he was looking nobody and I was just like I never seen anything like that happen and this guy named Tony woods went up I don't Tony they are and so then woodsy

35:22goes up and woods he goes man that was great standing ovations right then they walk off they walk out together getting the same car and I was like oh my god I was incredible like just seeing that happen yeah and and then and that's I started in that environment where I learned how to perform first right I had no substance I just knew how to I was trying not to get boots so I wasn't talking about I was just just the entertaining performer but everyone in that environment was so nurturing like you got off stage other comes like oh that's funny first Snowdown say this you know and it was like a it was like a weird I don't know I never had like other like black men be that like excited about something that it wasn't sports or women you know I mean like right right and be that encouraging like yo man you funny too and so I was like I'm home this is you know and it was a guy I went to eighth

36:27grade with cat named Mike Brooks he's like the mayor of DC comedy wise he had been doing it a year longer than me it took me around all the spots so my goal that summer was to just get paid because I believe you got paid I'm a professional right so at the end of the summer this guy named pops gave me a crumpled-up $25.00 to perform in front of like six people in this big place in the green but the comedy connection of Laurel and after that you can tell me nothing because we had performed in a lot of spots called cabarets where the audience is not facing you so you're on stage now at long tables eating crabs and stuff in the after Kareem and next back oh yeah and if I would get like a laugh or someone's like oh okay I'm doing it and we were we would do crazy stuff like a headliner would like go short and we would go up after a headliner and eat it because he just had

37:26him he was the headliner but for some reason he had a issue we would go up next I heard a headliner do that Bert Kreischer was telling me about that where he would go on after the headliner yeah cuz the headline I didn't want to do the drop check spot yeah so he would he would go up someone would go up and do like 10 minutes yeah headliner would go up do an hour yeah and then Bert would go up and close the show yeah Mike moocs was amazing like what kind of is that I know yeah we did one time this is one this is one I took another sweet L it was that same summer we were at one spot and they might say Maine let's go to uh just go to comedy connection law Chris Thomas is coming down earlier so he won't close it I was like I I didn't know if you weren't supposed to do that not get up there Chris Thomas is killing he was uh he was the mayor of Rap City he used to do this move and he does like

38:18a lot of impressions and he was he was the crowd is literally like crying still I'm gonna think I'm gonna kill it I don't know what's about to happen and Mike I mean I had to go first now that was the other thing he set me up like yeah you go up good I'm gonna go up so I basically had to take like what was coming so Chris leaves and it was no ill will and then he literally had to go do something didn't they introduce me I come they doesn't lie used to wear slacks and shirt was tucked in I just smell like a college kid like you know what's up y'all what's up in the checks are dropping I didn't understand what that was people are looking at their bill man Power Rangers are crazy like I'm talking about sweat you know the fly all terrible terrible I'll race off stage and then I don't think I got booed but it was just silence it was just no laughs and then

39:20uh but my keys to do this trick where he would had his intro which city never did you see them on the mountain Lord show you seen him opening for Sinbad you seen him on Def Jam you see I was like you ain't doing all that and he was like you gotta figure to you make a joint and then he went out and he did okay and then I just learned a lot of lessons in that era you know like how to keep going like if - it ain't working you know just keep going and I really had a so much confidence because I feel like that area it was some of the some of the toughest environments to get laughs so when I went then I went to the Midwest I went to school to Notre Dame I was like yeah this is gonna be so easy to make you know to be and so I started a comedy a funny bone opened up in South Bend I became like the house and see there and I will watch the national headline has come through and oh that helps right

40:17tremendously and that's when I learned substance like I'm say okay I got it I gotta have something to say isn't it interesting to when you if you would work at a place like that I remember that was how it wasn't Boston when I was first started now if I was lucky I get like a hosting gig and I would good get you to see the quality of some people's material versus others yes you would see a guy coming in as a headliner no yes a headliner it was just like barely adequate just yeah and you'd watch them all weekend yeah and you're like this is a wack show and then the next week could be Bill Hicks or something me to go oh yeah yeah next now yes like oh Jesus yeah like you realize like it's the quality of your thinking yes that'd be like people people are chiming there they're tuning into what you're saying some sort of a weird way that hasn't totally been defined yet yeah yeah you

41:06know and when someone is up there and they just got some great material they got a great it's like he puts a smile on your face I guess your your brain lights up yeah ah I like where he's going with them yes I love that I don't know you could do that wakame I do that with our form it is it is like a it's such a personal thing for me like when I see somebody abusing it I do get it like but now that I'm a little older I just go I I it doesn't affect me like it used to yeah I know you mean yeah when I first started out I get offended yeah yeah yeah I think it's just you realize like what's a waste of energy like it's good to use use that on yourself like to look at your own material ah why the am I doing this I fix this that's gonna benefit you but doing it to other people it's just a waste to such a waste but yeah yeah I spent some of my early twenties doing that like oh

41:57yeah like I was telling before we started we tomorrow Australia Franklin as I was Christ so he lived there for a while he lived there and I asked him ago why'd you move to Australia he said no guns no gangs no God that's what he said oh wow but he said the money wasn't uh own part of what he could be making back in the States so that's why he came back how long did he live there for got several years but I don't know what year was this that he was there yeah I don't know I don't know I remember I saw him was after I made it yeah yeah yeah then he just been over there and um but I remember the first comedy album I heard of his it's a picture of him like I can't think of what the name of it is but I'm positioning to it cuz I used to I was in like Oklahoma I can't remember the other comic I was with and I at that time I used to go to flea markets to buy

42:45albums and we listened to it at his spot and we smoked some weed and we were listening to it and I was like he's high like you can tell he's high on this album I was like I didn't know you could do that so not that median seriously yeah this do but he was there he was the first comedian the one up the mom up there with the shirt off that's the album we listen to yeah that album right there yeah don't listen don't fry your hair yeah it's funny man smoke dope fry your hair what a strange name is me yeah but you could tell you was how well he was a funny dude twenty-two I remember that big did about the Olympics he was on like one of those was a young comedian special yeah is that what it was yeah and he did that he was watching Olympics watch the dude comes in last I don't that train but is he goes and then reality starts said it man I don't even have a job I could

43:51have not trained it still came in lastik he was the first black comedian I heard who didn't grow up his shtick wasn't I grew up poor right he was like the middle class he went to law school and he's just talked about I go oh you could talk about that cuz a lot of when I first started a lot of comedians taking the stage they all felt like they had to fit in cities it was a thing that just happened but they were gonna talk to him offstage it's like you're way more interesting off statewide you talk about that right do you think it was because they felt like they had to fit the mold of the popular comedians well I think so people wanted a certain kind of comedian and they felt like oh I got to talk about the that people want to hear I think how you make it I think so and then if you do if you stay in it long enough you start to just go cuz out forth time I had a act for a black room

44:39in an act for a white room and it just got exhausted I used to be physical and I was like staying in talk to these people like you just kind of become what you you know already were that's why those people that work those Ault rooms get in real trouble when they come to a real comedy club you see that yeah it's fantastic I've seen some people in alt rooms go to the store and you know Joey Diaz and it is a horrendous yeah it's horrendous yeah cuz they're just used to like witty references and like you know clever subject matter is yes and comedy some people are so supportive very supportive and which is nice this is nice to have that but it but they're but they're also like timid audiences - right like your Joey Diaz went there they yeah they like what the yeah why are you bringing the outside world yeah we like our little bubble but uh I did see man I like the fact that they

45:37were like I can't get any heat over here so I'm gonna go create this over here yeah but once it started like taking off I did I didn't like that they were it became with yeah there was a lot of on people to try too hard yeah he's acting out things and moving oh you mean he's been selling a joke right funny you don't want that I get it people like yeah yeah people get weird about like what they're doing like you should only do what I'm doing that's a it's more we're talking it's a waste of energy it's a waste of energy I don't why why why do you care did you were talking about Tony woods Tony woods I met Tony way back in New York in 92 or some show that he was funny man still is I'm sure you know but there's a few dudes like him and even frankly I like most people don't know who Frank Langella is like how does that carwash yeah how would how'd that guy not like

46:34Joe like you takes off and who doesn't how does that work I'm trying to figure out yeah I don't know I don't know his whole story man I know for a lot of comedians who I'm a funny usually marriage or divorce is where they is that some get something right divorce usually like it's like oh yeah happy away yeah what is someone who's some other dude oh so you get to see your your ex-wife and you pick up your kid kids like mom says you're a loser well yeah yeah what the your mom says you ruined everything yeah mom says you can't pay your bills what mom says you need to get a regular job and stop chasing your dream what yeah oh that's it right there the voice of you up I think if you marry the right person you it could make you better like yeah that's what's happening with me my wife I like my wife's that's nice too it's important yeah yeah I like mine too yeah

47:35I think that helps yeah it did it definitely can make you like more stable more comfortable and you learn more about yourself when you're like totally intimate with a person yeah man you know really knows you yeah I want to thank you for the the compliments you gave me somebody I had my wife listen to it first because someone said I did you mention me and I'm always nervous when uh my wife's a baby listen to us so we listen to it I think oh that's dope but I said I always say top 20 baby and my wife though you knew that already guys in the world really that makes me feel good that makes it it's so funny man some so many I'm doing I'm going to be doing like mow you some some things that I've always wanted to do years ago but I didn't know to ask for it right that was the thing I always thought that people who see your work hey well what happened with you I think as you started working

48:43as a writer yeah that's when they yeah yeah they give you a job and then you think like this is what I do now but that job there's there's a there's no free ride like to get that money for that job is nice and it gives you stability but it takes away from the potential earning of your stand-up and then the dudes that you started out with they're ballin out of control they're selling out places and people don't know who you are and that to me it's crazy when I see you on stage I'm like this guy is a world-class headliner like everybody should know Owen Smith yeah you know and so it just drives me nuts I know we're working on yeah and I've been trying with Ian Edwards to exact stories you same exact story yeah I remember when he had long dreads yes I remember I love Houston he's what I was just describing his is documented on camera like Ian used to yell at the audience

49:36laughs you know what was this bit on there Sam about he used to be mad at AT&T son like that's how they get you and then I'm not falling for it like he would like yeah I was like oh and then when he cut his dreads he was like more centered more Zen to standing there talking I was like well then he became vegan and you know he falls asleep constantly she has no nose II when I get on the plane with him I just take pictures of him have like 10 pictures on my phone of Ian's alcohol as soon as he Soleri and then I send them to him and with a bunch of Z's on it that's funny that's I do that to no man I trained myself on a plane yeah yeah is this kind of a thing like when I'm on the plane I just I just make myself go to sleep I don't know where I got it from it's a good move yeah definitely make flying easier if you can get really comfortable just fallin long you know like especially

50:34those six-hour across the country flights yeah I'm gonna scout I'm out well you'd help you feel refreshed yeah I'm about to take the first my son now that he can walk now so I'm I won't be able to sleep I know he's gonna be that kid oh yeah sure yeah run up and down the aisles getting mad if you try to hold on to him do it though what I'm like ah yeah it's sad when they get earaches then you start crying and then you can't do anything about him yeah I mean you can't help him you can't like there's nothing you could tell them yeah give me like sometimes things to chew helps okay that's good to know okay sometimes like gummi bears or something that they have to chew he'll pop their ears open I got my kid these vitamin gummy bears gummy bears but they're they have they're made out of essential fatty acids and vitamins and pink to it to it I said don't you right now eat

51:25everything to it man come on one at a time 14 months old man they don't know anything yet it's fascinating you know it's like this yeah you know you learned a lot about yourself man tell you that you learned that year enough yeah it was the biggest lesson it's like I'm enough I walk in the door hey you know yeah I don't have to put on a show mwah like my wife says when he hears my voice he lights up like walk home you know awesome so yeah I just like talking to him sometimes when I when I first had him see I didn't know what to say to him so I would just do old like hip-hop lyrics who the hell is this play to me at 5:46 in the morning cracker don't wanna know I'm yawning and then you'd be like I would talk to him about my day sometimes and it's cool man it's a very weird feeling we see a little tiny human being that's dependent upon you yeah it changes your perception of the world

52:24everything and it's also like all of us were that age so it's kind of when I look at adults I'm like you were 14 yeah why I talk about that all the time that I look at people as grown up Ami's yeah I used to look at people in a static state like I'd see it yes yo dude that's an 80 year old dude that's how he is how he's always been mmm no he was a baby yes and he became this guy yeah and he had dreams and he touched it and did it work yeah I'm fascinated by people's stories like yeah the shattered dreams and people have failed expectations there's some of the saddest people you'll ever gonna mean they just for whatever reason it didn't work they didn't figure it out yeah whatever mental block whatever the problem was they just never figured it out yeah and that's been those charlatans sneaking it pretend to be able to Sylvia all you got to do is what

53:11you got to do is push harder you got a dream big and you gotta set your goals easy workshop so we're gonna have guaranteed $1,300 yeah we're gonna have a workshop and talk about it I'm gonna get out there clap we're gonna join along we're gonna walk on coals hot coals barefoot yes that's how that gets you man yeah the motivational speaking marketplace is a saturated cesspool of most people in it have an accomplished jack-shit yeah most of them most of them their accomplishment is that their motivational speakers yeah I know a comedian who was a terrible know who yes I wait wait wait wait wait yes I know that and when you meet him when you see him out he's always flinch see a little bit you know he's fancy like like a dude with oh we had a side family okay I get it oh man that's a lot of pressure that's a lot of pressure yeah I know that I can't good luck man

54:22okay well yeah that's a lot of those guys out there listen to this crowd I would like to say I might have be responsible a little bit and this is very this is I'm literally this may not be true but we did a show together a long time ago and it was a college kid in the college gigs they make you both do an hour right they don't know how to just go hey man you do have that right and so he was hotter as far as credits cuz he had you know mommy central love this guy and they were like so he was they were like when you go first and I could see in his eyes no dad I was like it was like one of those quiet things where I go you know how you go somebody you like you'll do all right then they come I was like let me go ahead and just show just dude like what this could really be you know I'm telling you it was look dude look da Menifee let me thank you goodnight just left you know

55:25game a game a great intro or whatever like I saw him reevaluate and I think I feel like at that moment he was like yeah there's gotta be another method yeah he probably had like another two-year run like you know but then I was at a vegan restaurant that I eat out occasionally as dude was in there with all of these people that he works with they meet together in this restaurant yeah so I'm at a raw food spot before yeah yeah he came up to me when I was with my daughter wants and he's like I just love to talk to you about a transformative experience that I've had I really would love to get on your podcast like a transformative experience okay I believe you yeah man hey man you know good luck people people doing things people are doing things but there's a real problem with people that are just motivators yeah that's all they're doing yeah all you're doing is motivating and

56:22there's a lot of fun man there's a lot of them I'm always getting these memes from people Mike who's this guy then I'll go to this page it's all filled with memes and then you know like you look at it there he's a motivational speaker oh you're a motivational speaker what what have you done hey it's weird to be a motivational speaker who's never done a Thurman thing yeah like you have to start a company or life coaches but the weird thing is some of them like there are trainers that have never had professional fights and they're great trainers okay but they have studied the game like so deeply they understand all the various aspects of the game right and then they become just really good at it I think I'm really good at coaching because they're like real legitimate analysts is that possible to do with life can you be a person who has never really accomplished

57:14much and termed nothing creatively nothing nothing like you're not some world champion dude you're not some guy who's gone out there and accomplished great things you're not like Sebastian Junger a war journalist you're not right you're just some guy it was like what you got to do is realize that you face fear in the eyes you tell fear no nature of your soul yeah yeah it's the approach man it's like they have you can't tell people what they have to do yeah but I feel like you like so I feel like you're a bigger motivator than a motivational speaker because you motivate by example but you just motivate by doing you you said I'm saying like that's more motivational then people I'm gonna tell you how I do what I do is like I just Oh Joe did that oh that's dope then you know I mean so you go okay Joe comes from comedy oh okay all right if he did I mean what am I not doing you know

58:11I mean like me that's more motivational then that's how I feel coming to my front door yeah and you know what I mean but you know what people always looking for some sort of us of course shortcut you know and someone is gonna and sometimes people can give you like I have like these players who I had yesterday in the podcast but he's a six-time world champion power lifter and you know when he talks about hard work and dedication and you know like your excuses okay it makes sense now like you believe them but I think there's a lot of people out there that want to be that guy but they don't want to do that kind of work they don't want to accomplish some great task before they go out and do this all this motivational stuff right right they wanna you know first of all they want that hippie that's what a lot of it is you want those girls are trying to prove themselves I'm just trying to be

59:05more spiritual me too vulnerable puss it's not just vulnerable seeking seeking some like yoga girls dude yoga girls there are so many freaks in the yoga community you know so funny I'm so I'm so above board like I've gone I go to yoga and I do my thing and then I'll look but I'm like I don't even know how to make this my spot you know I mean like sorry some guys here let's go to yoga like they know cuz I heard one of my mind yoga teachers hit on a student and the line was so lame he said um I feel like I've practiced what did he say what was that what are you always trying to reach and yoga whatever that is thank you like I feel like I've practiced something something something with you before yeah it does feel like that that's I could never that's not my thing man but yeah Yoga is yeah when people talk about the practice yeah and they say that's an amazing

60:18practice I can't talk to you yes yes I feel like I've practiced I forgot what he say I just wanted to but I'm not a cock-block shavasana it was something like that sometime before it's done yes sannyas oh yeah what is it what's the word I just take the class you know yeah often do you go once it once a week thing or when you yeah I try to keep it no more than well no less than once a week but I'm I up since I did sober October we had 15 classes that we had to do in a month did you I tell you about this me Tom Segura Bert Kreischer and Ari Shaffir we made an agreement no pot no booze 15 hot yoga classes 90 minute hot yoga classes a mom it was rough but it broke me it broke me in terms of my enthusiasm for yoga I'm like enough because what really broke me was not just the 15 classes I could have done that but I did nine in a row to end it I had some days after that

61:23too that I could have but I was I know I'm gonna burn this out I'm just gonna bang it out nine rounds going Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday but when it was when it was over it felt good yeah feel good right I did it when um Russell Simmons gave me a month free at his tantras yoga spot well he does tantric yoga Tantra s' tan triste yes that was the difference a tantric is where you're hold you come back right squeeze their their dick muscle like that's like the weakest muscle I have in my body you know if you think about if you think if you just squeeze you hold the comeback muscle like use that right now just try to slow down right now right now ready go that feels so spongy yes like if I have to squeeze my arms like my choke muscles like yeah you could do that I feel like the out of somebody right now yeah but like choke my own dick with my inner and my muscles

62:28like there's nothing it's like I'm so tired those muscles have zero conditioning somebody told me if you press on that area like really hard right for a couple of seconds they it won't do it right that you won't come and I tried that before basically choking out your dick you choking it out you got a cable grip give me 20 minutes well we were reading about male kegels once Oh like male kegels and I'm like listen though I don't care what anybody says this is to tighten up your butthole butt sex but you're not talking about that they're like sir dance it around that like all the benefits of male kegels like you can control your bowels better we control your does that mean better like hussar oh I mean it's one thing you get diarrhea but regular control of the bowels is pretty much a hundred it's out it's coming out I know what I'm doing oh man oh you know what's

63:47crazy so that's fine this is nasty but growing up like see what happened to me and I would just be like what the is that so when I take like really good shits like I cry so this is when it worked in my advantage my son something he was doing something to me and my wife couldn't figure it out and then it won t was I go always taking a he gets that from me like it was accurate he had to ins for something was going on and so then we helped him in adjusting them and I my wife if she watched him watched it she'll find out about she does not know that about me it's just now what now she knows so that that's how I was able to crack that mystery because everything is a mystery like oh what's he doing he was just sitting there but he had this look on his face pass that on oh that's so crazy yeah whatever and another random thing man like it's so crazy yeah I don't know that's so strange

64:55yeah so crazy man it's weird how the body work like sometimes I'll just be driving on the street and a tear rolled down my cheek I'm like I'm not even sad yeah I'm not happy I'm not saying why am i crying is coming sounds just leaking right it's amazing hey you know what else my body do if I'm in a room but I'm supposed to be awake you ever get like sleepy sometimes yeah if I get sleepy my dick will get hard and my biggest like you know I'll try to go to the bathroom to fill board on my face but now I'm slightly like a wreck getting up something nobody's looking at me right it's like some freak yeah yes I'm like always and they're always pulling my down but isn't that finally everybody knows you get an erection everybody knows you get erection yeah right but if they you get an erection near them like what the what I know I had a boner sorry sorry it's human

65:59nature yeah but you can't especially in a mixed company yeah yeah especially today today today man just think about all the sexual harassment that people just sort of like that was there the way they behaved yeah yeah the office that was their thing and now you keep now you can do more why they couldn't wait to get to work - yeah chase whomever was there Hinch the secretary I mean it's you know my mom had a thing like that when I was a kid I didn't understand it but somebody was you know she needed the job so what I will say to you know women watching what my mom did is she just kept elaborate notes so that because she knew was gonna be his word against hers right and you know predators don't keep notes me mom was like October 8th that they you know she was protected and so Wow don't try to go off memory like that you know even even if you keep notes man

67:04still you against them yeah it still is civilian boss whoa but still once you because that's how somebody else had no what the monster things somebody kept like notes mmm and that's why I mean cuz you when you have a lot of money you can definitely litigate it like when somebody you know and I think his legal team looked at it they're like you better go to Europe for some deep counseling cuz deep however they you know Europe counseling I'm a different level leave this continent right my head on straight i'ma stay over here yeah a be able to do that is crazy well like if you look at like the Kevin Spacey thing like that that's how he would run a set apparently he'd be on the set and he'd just be grabbing dicks on are you serious yeah that's what they're all saying I mean I don't know if that's the truth but all the people in the house at card set this is what all the complaints

67:56are coming out was that he would like grab guys dicks that were taken to places and he'd have like a PA that had to take him somewhere reaching his pants and grab his dick he was just a dick dick crap he grabbed whose dick wasn't that he grabbed like some famous dude Richard Dreyfuss he grabbed his son's dick and with him in the room oh he was just a crazy dick robber stop maniac that's crazy monk dick grabbing the reservation and I think this is their social environment as well as their working environment yeah they're constantly around all these people and yeah they're they're in this King role yeah if you're a star of a show that you're the executive producer of and it's a giant hit for Netflix and you're the King I'm Frank Underwood yeah the king of house of cards yeah and all the people who rely on you for their jobs this is one of the things they're

68:49saying about house of cards is that two thousand people could be out of a job exactly which is crazy yeah so this guy was like at the epicenter like he was the Pete the king of two thousand people yes oh he would show up at work the king you know and I think that is like natural mail predatory behavior as when I'm I think when a man gets into position where he's the king and all these people SIA maybe get you something sire like if you're on a set and you're like the big star yeah all these people are stumbling around sire maybe maybe may we get you something sire yeah like you start thinking like a king like if you're Harvey Weinstein think about all the people that cover it up for him yeah he had it written in his glance was crazy I mean but also just think of that work ethic man like work that hard and then yeah the part that trips me out is when people would show up to the victims

69:48ago tell me everything yeah we're gonna we're gonna take him down and those people were investigating yeah work for Weinstein like but they're predators man and they look for like you know it's this weird but it's like if you you know they had like a parent or somebody going baby do you think it's safe to you know meet with him at 3:00 in the morning and they're like mommy is cool it's gonna be fine trust me why don't you trust me you know and then when something happens they feel like they can't say anything because they don't want that I told you so what they don't want to or whatever it is and then that that moment can turn into two weeks not saying yes Sigma thank you living you know mean and yeah and so that's how it can happen where you're just so embarrassed you know what I mean and or you don't want to embarrass or hurt other people times sometimes people

70:44don't say anything because they don't want to make their parents feel right let's type of way you know yeah there's a lot of lot of women that have been raped victims that the the stigma of being a rape victim excuse me publicly is is so hard it's so tariffs no tariffs they don't even do what they like I just let it slide it's and it's it's like man it's horrible yes I mean so I'm I'm personally I'm happy that people are finally speaking you know coming out cuz there's a lot of jobs opening up I'm really happy that people of in that courage to just you know speak that truth and hope we'll see what happens on the other side of it will we be a healthier society well I've been saying this for a while that I think that eventually we're gonna get to a point we could read each other's minds I really think that's on the on the horizon I think it's just a matter of

71:36time before no one can ever do anything like that ever again and I think that's what you're seeing now with like this Harvey Weinstein and the Kevin Spacey all this other stuff I mean you see varying degrees of it some of them seem pretty innocuous like Al Franken just likes to grab butts when he takes a pictures like not the best practice not the worst thing in the world and but I think we're gonna get to a point where all of this is look back on like wearing powdered wigs or slavery uh any crazy old that we just don't tolerate anymore in this nutty behavior that you just can't do anymore yeah I think we're gonna get to a point where you're gonna be able to talk to someone and you're gonna be able to see what's going on in their head and you you would have to be a real piece of to victimize them because you're gonna get to see what their exact feelings oh you

72:20just need this job you're not really attracted to me you don't like me at all right now you see this job but you might let me jerk off on you right if you keep this job because this is gross I gotta stop you know what's interesting too I think this is a direct reaction to us not communicating with one another you don't I mean yesterday like today like everything is text like my boys are single you don't need big getting girls to text like have you talked to her yet no I am but she's sending me being like all this is the no work so you're not really yeah and everything can be taken out of context what have you before but here it is getting to the place where you're gonna have to be really clear with your intentions like a married you see it you can be OCD some people oh wow you know another thing I think that is ridiculous and I'm not pro prostitution but I think it should be legal and I

73:05think if it was legal you would have way less of this going oh yeah well yeah because that's what it is right it's just their release and people need less craziness it's forbidden yeah like there's a lot of factors going on but I think one of the things that would change is that people that want like ugly dudes like Harvey Weinstein you just want sex you're good just go get it but I think for him it's like a power thing to definite I mean he was banging all those really hot like famous chicks yeah this drug dealer told me a long as to things who somehow man it says two things men understand ass-whipping or secret and if you can't whip they ass you better get a secret and that's uh you know I feel like Harvey doing that to a lot of people cuz they became huge stars right there's no reason for them to ever have to respect him again you know I mean but he was like yeah but

73:57you you know what this is you know take Monk or whatever whatever is well that's what apparently he would negotiate it into deals yeah he would say if you me you'll get more blinds you get part to get this you get that and so it's like I mean but that is like my main was like so what when do you know you're worth right and when you know well if you you know I mean I'm good I don't need this here yeah over here or I've already the work I've already done like my last work paid for all this right where you getting your money you're getting your money from something I did not I mean like instead of thinking about it like oh you can give me more money mm-hmm say you sitting on this you got this sweet from my performance you know what I mean right this dude wrote you didn't do came up with this guy wrote it this guy shot it yeah yeah you mean that's what's interesting is like he's not the

74:51creative guy I don't know no just a money guy that the women yeah we hear is weird man and it's weird how long he got away with it for for decade after decade after decade is is is crazy man it's almost like deflating like every person that you look at you know what shocked me the most about Matt Lauer that was making twenty million dollars right here twenty five I heard it was twenty five hundred twenty twenty eight twenty eight thirty and he had to pay it they had to pay it to pay him out they said I was just reading they don't know if it's gonna be finished through his 2018 contract but he also was getting flown helicopter rides to his like Hamptons house daily so we could spend more time with his family or some whoa in between my rings that's it well what happened all I'm carless gasps get paid out though yeah watch the Charlie Rose get when he had to step on did he get paid

75:48out but he was on PBS probably was getting people Riley got a lot extra my rowdy got well Riley paid thirty thirty five million dollars in a sexual harassment settlement like what the could you have possibly done just think about it fact 35 million you shut the up JLo House toads oh this is up but that victim should be a motivational speaker talk to other I did was I limped around it I pretend I couldn't walk good and I was getting nervous I'd have to sit down $35 a bowl it worked out yeah I mean I wonder what he did I mean it was just one I mean another one I think he paid at 12 there was like several different ones that he had to pay off like this guy was on a rampage for years and years yeah he's a trick man he's on the streets he's the trick that pays well he's house money 35 million 35 come on man and everybody freaked so it's like you wasted 35 million like everybody knows

76:57you're a freak yeah and so who do we where do you start like is it the platform who gave them the platform that guy I think it's a bunch of things but one of the things that I think it is is that that world is so sexually charged all the men are like these powerful wealthy men and all the women are hot as and they off short skirts on and they're all talking about like like American values that's all super super ass to write behind closed doors as button popping and being hypocrisy that's it was so puritanical to no man yeah they don't teach whatever they don't see sex education like the younger kids is never cool to talk about this No so there's definitely that but it's also the suppression the ones that are like super religious super suppressed like those the ones that have this day of a need for an outlet of course yes yeah and I feel like it's it's equal right so the amount that you

78:10put out you really have right you know me like that uh who's that guy the senator congressman where the it was it just got busted like haven't said he was a anti-gay oh yes and he turns out he was got busted having sex with a dude in his office yeah yeah no inappropriate behavior they called it yeah and they have a very convenient give them the X there yes anti LGBT to lawmaker resigns over gay sex scandal Republican state Ohio State Representative Wesley Oh Wesley Wesley good miss he may have also previously assaulted an eighteen-year-old hmm a assaulted is it like Kevin Spacey type of salt like dick grab a note a word of Psaltis getting we're strong man your words are a violent oh no your words are violence no no your words are violence that's what comedies had it yeah you know I feel uncomfortable I know there's certain there's certain taboos now that

79:13you just breaching them on stage you see people say are you well you know yeah I wish they did that like on but comedy couple tickets like I understand when you buy a baseball to get the back cuz I can agreement if you be here with the ball you ain't gonna sue like that wouldn't ya like you you agree that if some debris hits you hey man it's a part of the experience right and they say no comedy clubs like yeah feelings get hurt like you've already agreed to experience yep you know a performance you know it's gonna affect you I don't know how I was gonna land on you but well you got a band people that interrupt mm-hmm like especially like bad hecklers that interrupts would there's hecklers sometimes man can like you're setting up like for a special you're getting ready they can up the flow of a bit we all ways and they it seemed like that it seems like they always come out when

80:05you're setting up for something you just you just rockin yeah perfect I got a I got a ladies down fire here they come you and the moral arbiters of what you're allowed to say and not say it's like you don't even understand where this is going like you're not even allowing this bit to take it's full at the end it'll be vindicated just let it play out I didn't play out trust me yeah at the end I'm the piece of trust me wins yeah but that's a weird thing about live performance that's what makes it so exciting yes you are there to catch debris occasionally yes no it will be a tire will fall off one of the NASCAR things and launch the crowd right right yeah but is it's a no no man you got keep swinging that bat though you got to keep pushing it yeah well then also the real terrifying thing for me is the throwing away the material and then redoing your whole act every two years

81:00oh yeah that's the real terrifying thing it's really about it for me it's about a year and a half it seems like lately that's my schedule okay and that a year and a half it's like yeah like right now I'm super nervous because I'm like a couple months out and once I film I'm anything I just figured out how to make these bits all work good I know it's exciting right no you know but it is like but what you're talking about to is something I've gone through it was like the older you get the less you the less you the your faith is in it strong like when you're young for something's gonna happen me I'm think my faith is better now yeah okay that's I work harder at it now yeah it's like to me it's directly proportional like how much time I'm actually spend writing you're working on new and trying out new yeah versus like whether or not a thing I could do it again yeah you

81:53know like as long as you're paying attention this is always subject I feel like subjects too are essentially like scaffolding yes and once you have the scaffolding then you got to fill it up with jokes and build that's the fun part - like in and yeah I like I love the work man it's so like I'm at a place while I love it even more now than when I first started you know like it was just a blind love for it just how it made me feel but now I'm really like getting in there and trying to like yeah take it places and it's so exciting to me man and it's like I'm so I feel so present in awake you know what I mean yeah when I'm on stage and I just I'm excited about it but it is true though like if I wish that this was all I could focus on you don't I mean write this in my family that's all I want to do is stand up in family one of the reasons why it is so exciting is

82:46because just slightly out of your reach yeah it's obviously within your reach talent wise yeah just like you still have this writing job you're still yeah mmm yeah is that but the reason why I never intended to be a TV writer I didn't even know that was a job you know I mean like I went one day on the set a friend of mine can't he was a comic and then became showrunner of Everybody Hates Chris and he called me out the blue and said hey man you want to come read lines with Chris right yeah so I went on set in the job was to be his voice because it was a voiceover show everybody's good so I was his voice for the actors took for the pacing so I'll be off on the side my mother always said like I wanna just be reading and then I was like oh this is cool this is I was like this is like the best acting class cuz I'm seeing cuz at the time I was also like acting classes and doing all that yeah

83:48oh I'm seeing what it's like wanna sit out of it cuz I will watch co-stars come in and just because it's not Act it's not a safe acting class like when you're acting on set there's a there's a boom god I don't give a yeah you have to like know how to find it in these raw environment so I used to watch that in but because I'm a comedian first when they would run lines I would hear stuff that could be funny and I would just write it on line but I wouldn't say anything I knew better than to try to say something and then one day showrunner his name's Olly he goes a man is seen they working you got anything I was like do i yeah you should say this it was just I just wanted to make it better and then he laughed and then he threw the line in and she laughed and then they did it and the whole crew laughing then they recorded it and I was like oh that's cool but I didn't even think like oh I

84:43was great I'm just like yeah that's but it should have been it like right and then um Chris Rock came up and he was like that you say this and change it and they laugh and I was like I got another and that's the first time I'd ever seen Chris like in person this day I know I got another when I give it to him they throw it in they laughed louder Chris was like you say this gave him they laugh but not as loud didn't know I probably should have shut up I had another one cuz I was like if I if Chris are like me this would be great you know that right so I dis when they laugh they do it they laugh loud Chris goes I got nothing I'm like yeah you know so then at the end I everyone's in large they can Chris his hand when I shake his hand he puts his uh like does the elbow thing y'all somethin I'm like plain and did like a college gig or whatever and came back and so then that that grew into me

85:41doing what they call punch up writing but I didn't eat I didn't know and I just I enjoyed helping them make to show funnier that was that's like my like if I hear something I know honest dope gopher you know that's kind of always been my nature and I had this old is what's on this older black dude was that the stone he said stop helping other people get better keep that for yourself and I'm saying alright who said that I can't remember but he just it's like he came out the shadows and just said it to me cuz I what castle get offstage then I'll go do my like I'm not doing that some but whatever you're doing I go I can hear it I go oh man maybe go hear that beat though some people will listen and and some people have amazing careers and some people were like and then I started figuring out oh they don't want me to say nothing I'm gonna say nothing and then I did eventually just stop saying

86:31like I just kind of just it kind of flows away but I'll used to be I was like I used to just love hearing what people were trying to do and then go hey man I wasn't someone on the outside can see it better than you can and I wasn't annoying like I wasn't like but I think maybe this and if they laughed it was cool and I literally didn't think about it again like I wouldn't even remember right then uh so that evolved into me like they said let me rewrite scenes on set cuz I was just the way this particular showrunner work his whole philosophy was funniest wins and you know if you got it you got it and then so he would bring stuff in from the writers room which I was rarely in because I wasn't a writer at that time and then when they were put it on its feet we could hear how certain people couldn't say they was they would sound funny or saying a different word maybe I

87:21should just take a different turn and we would count on the same so he would let me rewrite and that grew ensued then I found out about writing in like there's a Writers Guild and you know all this stuff and I was like yeah I'll do it I'd like to see what it's about why not but I didn't get a writer's job until years later but I had I had went through a bad breakup here and I wanted to go to New York you know what I'm break it to make you want to change the write on Conan so I started like sending this is when he was in New York I didn't anything I ended up having to be here for like another two years and then after I gave up that dream of one then just get a writing job in New York so I could live in New York I ended up getting a writing job in Stamford Connecticut and I took it it was my first Writers Guild job but I moved to Harlem and so I would work

88:14all set all day and then race down to the cellar and perform it to sell it so I was living a life that I always wanted to do at 20 but I was afraid to move to New York at 20 because I didn't think I could afford it for some reason I'm sorry I live in Chicago and then I moved to LA for some reason I felt like I can do those towns but so I was living in Harlem and I was a comedian and I would write there in a day it didn't I didn't even like think of it as a thing and then that grew into oh I'm pretty good at this I know what this should look like I know how to tell a story I know you know what I mean when did you start coming around the store I came around the store on Everybody Hates Chris but I came out the first time in the 90s Spring Break 1990 for me Sonny can't think of a last name but she's on the view now the the she's one of the ladies on the view Sonny

89:17we were all in a we all went to Notre Dame she went to Notre Dame Law School me my boy Floyd he pretended to be my manager we were all in this we all did this play Raisin in the Sun and then for spring break we all came out together and I went to all the comedy clubs because I was doing comedy I noted aim and he pretended to be my manager and I got up on like some some black rooms I got to do stand-up there and we went to all the comedy clubs and everybody was nice to us like I'm a comedian visiting from the Midwest can I just check out the room yeah come on in went into the Laugh Factory oh this is shiniest okay this is cool nice nice went to the improv in Let Me In okay cool come to the Comedy Store a dude named chewy it's the chili I go hey man and some people he was so intimidating he made me lose the bass in my voice I was like hey man he was like do you know any say they a

90:08comedian and like he chewed me out and it scared me from the store and I was I was like yo like everybody else was showing as such I was not expecting it just like who is this dude so I stayed away from this door scared me off like so much guy once you get to know him yeah but so much so like almost put like a vendetta in my head against this do like that's Larry just do it in traffic you're not strong a closer art of the street like I was really like angry and I just walked away and I was like this guy this place and then um I didn't move out into a two thousand right and uh I was doing a lot of commercials in in Chicago right and I booked 10 national commercials for blockbuster music or something it was me and his dude named JT jagged I'll see I think his name is he is one of the Sonics guys so Sonic's bit of Sonic's commercials okay he's one of those guys and we did 10 of

91:11them I was getting paid twice because they were using my hands to was like a video game despot so my was a hand model getting baby and then my face was imposed on one of my thumbs and his own and so I thought I was gonna make a lot of and they were supposed to adhere in a Super Bowl the 2000 Super Bowl and then I booked and then I did radio to promote a show and they offered me the guide the program directed like my voice and on for me a radio gig he was like you know you want to do the morning radio here and I did a test run for like a couple of weeks and it did really well not in no way I get a call from Don Buckwald how it's don't know if he's still on stones age and he was like Owen Don Buckwald we know that mean the goshi Eicher deal I was like all right and so I figured you're gonna be a big-time morning DJ DJ guy and I didn't want to be a local celebrity at all like I had

92:06known I'm not gonna bed at 8 o'clock gig - I know and wake up before and I did that for two weeks and my body felt paralyzed but but my numbers were really good apparently jaybo something he was like oh and your numbers were great just don't say this word so much thing I was already like oh so then this guy calls me and I go all right man I said I want 250,000 he was like huh this is right when I think Clear Channel somebody was buying up all the radio stations so base salary was maybe 60 something like that and I was anything so I just said how say because I had these commercials coming so I go on what 250,000 he was like alright let me see what I could do so I was supposed to come out here for watching sports come on here before the ball drop you know right but I had to stay an extra like six weeks well maybe four weeks why they negotiate so every like every Friday Don would

93:01call me only we got it up to 120 nope I love it when we got it up to 180 nope know him if he passed me in the street Wow oh and we got it up to 220 with your remote shall make your 250 where you just take the gig no one no one has ever gotten this before sizings nope raise your phone yeah some dumb flip some stupid and then I hung it up and uh he was like all right I think it maybe was a car hire good luck and I hung up my Bentley I wasn't like knocked away from A+ remotes you would have made a quarter million dollar in 1990 1999 Jesus my way and it was always already New Year cuz I drove out here in my 1991 gray Honda Accord drove through the southern route from Chicago and stopped at Grand Canyon yo Danny I'm gonna be famous famous I'm gonna make it all that Oh show how poured in and the copywriters from because it was a Viacom spot from the 10 national commercials that I did called

94:26me and said hey man we got some bad news there was an ounce Negro dispute if I come between your spots and he spots called thumb wars and so we're not theirs aired already so we're not gonna be airing your spots but we already get it at a fuse we're sending to you oh so I had like I just had to session fee so the commercial money I was banking on and nothing be so I went from thinking I was gonna lease have you know Super Bowls ten national spots right and in a Super Bowl at that time when commercials actually paid right I was counting pre counting money and I thought I was gonna least make a quarter of a million that yeah at least and then nothing so then I ended up sleeping on my boys air mattress preacher Moss shout-out to preach did you ever think about calling them back for the radio gig no no no I never yeah it was like I was like I didn't want to be a local my reasoning was if

95:25you're offering a radio gig at 26 I can get a radio you get 56 like it's a voice you know no that was my thinking at the time my 26 year old thinking and then um so no cuz I I didn't want to go back I I felt like I had done everything I could do in Chicago Brian because like when shows were coming I would get like a co-star on it I was like there was a few dudes that tried to make it out of like those local Marta Mancow yeah in the morning you know in the morning yeah and then him and Howard Stern of the crazy beef yeah and but he was like a guy who was like a Chicago guy that was sort of bleeding out into other markets and then it all went away yeah yeah yeah so when I came out I was sleeping on the air mattress got some on it strong it was consensual and you get some sex on an air mattress like see that mine was pretty good yeah it's like almost like

96:22futon sucks fantastic but yeah it was I told uh I was funny I was like this like a poor man's waterbed and he's not crazy you know right you know whatever but I was there for 18 months man and I would drive up and go to acting class and acting class and easy people in acting class yeah oh my god yeah man but it was it was great was a great time right to just really like learn the art form in a different level and then just see who was out here but I didn't with the story I was I would drive passing I was doing improv you know once every two months and like just like coffee houses and stuff and then it wasn't until I was when Everybody Hates Chris and Chris Rock was doing that special where he performed in South Africa and mm-hmm he was working on that and he just said I'm going to the store tonight I know I was I you know I want to come see it I just come I was like cool so I sat in

97:19the bar and I watched Chris go up and at that time I was I wasn't enough still out in a factory but I did the improv and I would do the Laugh Factory one like chocolate sundaes or whatever but the improv it felt like you had to have your set already worked out like you couldn't around couldn't around me or and you couldn't really go outside the box of what a comedian is and so when I was at the store I saw a few comments go up before Chris and I was like oh you could be an artist here like that was my first instinct like you can do whatever you think is your thing here and then I saw Chris go up and I was like I have to get in here like it was I was I got it whatever I got I got to do it I got it sure he wasn't around then sure he wasn't around I saw it so then check this out so then I started coming down on Sunday and Monday and Tommy was doing it at the

98:11time and I would listen to Tommy talk and stuff in what blew me away about Tommy was I had never met a person who ran a comedy club who knew that much about comedians and who was that passionate about comedy like I didn't I didn't know him from anything I just I just never all the funny bones that I had to work nobody gave a about the lineups and kind of like this process so I I didn't mind him talking to me I said oh this guy likes to talk and I was like oh a lot of people probably don't talk to him and so then when he would talk to me our comedy I was blown away by the history that he knew a specific history of it in yeah you didn't get a chance to see him emerge as a crazy he became no no no so then so he would give me two-minute the two-minute spots you know two minutes and I would do two too many things and then he he was like I'm gonna give you ten minutes and then

99:04he goes uh I'm gonna give you a showcase for Mitzi and and he would call me it's going down now and I would drive get all witches it's not happening I'll go back Oh cousin Mincy was still sexy position real second come in god she was still doing auditions then huh yeah what yours is I don't know I'm bad with that but the class that I was in with Elizabeth was Glickman Steven Glickman me and Steve were past this yeah so maybe well the Chris Rock thing was 2007 so then after I had left or 2007 yeah yeah so it was all right right on the heels of that right on his head and then uh so maybe I got passed in 2008 maybe mm but uh where else do you work do you work comedy magic club you worked out yeah I loved going on it this weekend hope are you really yeah hopefully improves although the national improves and stuff no no no I used when I was a road comic I used to like Dave Stroup

100:03used to book me in Columbus in Columbus and he used to pay me for a fee track you spend me well and then he would co-feature me Cole and then he just not booking me a story out here he there was his waitress that worked there and I her but I didn't approach her like she came on to me right and that bad you know I don't know the waitress no no but I'm gonna say when they've paid me he goes out of blue he goes did you so-and-so and I was like nah and uh and then he was like okay and then um he's never booked me since that got in trouble what kind of a weird question is there and I and again dude this comes from like maybe not growing up with a dad I would have known how to handle that better but like if my my dad if I had some knowledge from that but I just was like I'm not gonna get her if I'm leaving like right so I'm not gonna be like yeah I like I was like no

101:07I didn't know his business I didn't know what to do it came no way is he if he's the boss is he the boss are you a private contractor you're kind of a private contractor you come in it's not like you're getting health and dental from them but the whole thing is really your boss his club yeah I used to work no I mean I was never told you couldn't write you know I mean but it's always been the case guys I've always done only one club they said don't do it well uh it was a Milwaukee at a comedy cafe I used to do that room I get how they would see it was gross yeah medians hitting on the waitress is all yeah I would always do my you know my energy man I will perform and I would sit down if they came over to I would talk you know mean but I was never like I'm not group I'm not come on to you came on to me and it was it was it was rent like me I'm I wrote a show

102:00about this like me and his other do we know like you you like we if you're throwing the at us we won't pick it up like you have to literally be like will you okay yeah yeah you know like yeah um when I'm there to do comedy I'm not complaint this is where I eat you know I mean so I'm not thinking working I mean I might see I'm I'm definitely see goddamn you look good but I'm not gonna I'm not gonna change up you know I mean so she I don't even know how it happened it was like I think she asked me if we wanted to get some eat to eat afterwards and we got something to eat when we were just talking and I said oh she's flirting oh that's cool but we were away from the club and then she made him I need to come back to the condo it was like a weird I was so goofy like I and him oh we in there but it was literally no I was no game want me and she just picked me I won the lotto that weekend

103:00like whoever she was mad at before she was like I'm this dude I want that and that's really hot I went down is it wasn't me thinking about it you know I mean like that's a funny thing cuz its digger you're kind of working together yeah people in bars they always wind up hooking up like that's like the constant thing in bars bartenders and the waitresses PJ always doing that that's robbery a man like I mean I was saying my 20s I was more like consciously know I knew how to like I could change my act to get an audience member or whatever like alright she's cute let me talk about this topic should come up you know and then I would know how to do all that stuff or go to the mall and advice somebody you know that right but then as I got older I think concentrating your comedy yeah I was like this dates time was so valuable to me and I just and I was just like really I just wanted to

103:59just and then I was trying to figure out cuz how it was at that time like later on it was about DVD sales like right here convenience I sell out every time I'm like I sell two DVDs after so then I started going what am I not doing so then I I would fix that and then it would be like lines waiting for my DVD but I'm a horrible salesman so one person when I get in the conversation for a long time I don't want to be nice right and then you just up my line like you told you I had to learn how to like keep it move you know what I mean then I then I didn't really like talking to the audience that much afterwards so if I'm doing like racial stuff because it would always come back oh I used to do this joke about how Busta Rhymes how much of a Busta Rhymes concert and he and it was all white and he got all my real make some noise and everybody was like I saw the punchline is like white people

104:51the now and I was like I use a and not only can we call him they are paying eighty five dollars for the privilege to be called me right and uh right so then my joke would be like why people I'll call you for ten ten dollars say Oh clearance you know cash only because I know how you are like that was like joke I was doing the road and then I would be out selling my DVD and always you know I drunk my person to come up and give me $20 and go I call you and I'm like ah that's the problem when you got forbidden words forbidden words man don't wait to blurt them out can't wait so we still used to joke like what if that was my thing like what if I didn't sell product and I was like y'all could just call me at the back for $20 a night just shake up the whole t-shirt DVD something like who is this guy letting white people calling me you know but it just it we got it

105:51gasps so you know it's that growth process every comedian every every I think minority comedian wants to figure out race like in their 20s and early 30s they want to fix it or have some clever angle to nose for but the reaction of that is you do and I give you work in Kentucky right The Late Show Friday and here you come talking about you know black men have been at the golf tee because he's tired of holding the ball like they're like what you know I mean it's like a different you gotta use you figuring it out you know so now it's funny when I hear like younger comics you know attacking race and in that familiar place it's like yeah that's cool but what's like what's what's beyond that right but it's also like you're dealing with talking to the audience and the problem will talk to the audiences you might run into seven people that are really cool and great to

106:44talk to you like man I'm glad I met you yes and then you run and do two drunk morons that ruin your entire night yeah like I can't believe I have to talk to you yeah and I'm stuck talking to you and you're you know you the problem is you think you can make fun of white people yeah and why people can't say the n-word to you like you think you think that's okay you could say it to us we cauchy's cannabis nation with jazz training I can't do this yeah it's like when you do it you can't pick who you're meeting after those shows right just especially if you're trying to sell something yeah so that's like I just don't want to have to sell something I just want to put two more yeah and then I'll talk to you afterwards because I did what you paid for this was hasty March with me I did it a few times on the road it is grueling it's grueling I can't do it Kim can't be you get on the plane with so

107:29much promise ship their ahead dude ship boxes ahead tape everything down yeah and you'd hear about Gabe yeah gabriel iglesias he's telling it million dollars with t-shirts like watch I know how what are you doing yeah it's got a warehouse filled with t-shirts yeah what yeah yeah I'm not fat I'm fluffy what he's killing it yeah yeah it's an interesting world the world of like trying to figure out what your thing is yeah you know yeah yeah no but for you we just gotta let people pumpkin know just come see me yeah you know you just got to be headlining on the road man I know without special anybody approached you about about a special no the two that I've done I've done out of pocket I got stories about that I did one in 2007 I made a lot of money doing colleges because I really I was like I can make some money and quick hits and I figured out what my act was for the college

108:28market and I finally my agents would never put me in NACA Nationals they were always doing that Co regionals and that as the National Association of campus activities where you know you you get submitted and in colleges you know yeah yeah so but I knew oh and I never I rarely or never got selected to regional because my humor works best if people if everybody can see it at that time like what I was talking about so if I did something someone from the south to be like that's two but someone from up north man shut up that's dope you know I mean so I said Nationals would be my spot they finally put me and I get picked I get to do it and I and this is right when Kobe got accused of stuff and I had this Kobe joke that I did and my agents was like keep it clean I think I'm doing this my way I'm listening y'all all these years and so and I knew what the kids wanted like

109:20I knew right what the students wanted once I get once you get to their school with the act that people think they have to do to get the job just do it so I did my act I do these these Kobe jokes in the middle and it it changed the chemistry of the room you know what I mean cuz everyone was coming out you know doing the safe stuff and then the Kobe joked and I told was a Kobe I paid thirty million dollars to drink sprite thirty million dollars just to drink sprite I go for thirty million dollars I would make my own come I say this on a napkin thing right I know women I do who have done it for far less that's the joke right right case goes crazy I get off stage my agent is red but there's a line around the corner at my booth because I was the only guy that talked about something that was happening like right then and I had a thing on it get over like 120 schools and I and I did that

110:14burn every you know you know that is so you made a bunch of money and then you put together a special we had made a bunch of money put together a special called anonymous shot in South Bend Indiana cuz I was in these writers rooms for people going to Midwest doesn't get it the Midwest doesn't get it not saying I want to show him that the Midwest gets it hired everybody right the director I wanted couldn't do it refer to another director I had already purchased the place in airtime and all that stuff and I had people from Everybody Hates Chris Dave we're gonna do favors for me so my budget was that safe it was that like forty thousand dollars right then I had to hire this other guy and he said I don't like working people I don't know you got a higher on my people doubles my budget we took a scouting trip met his DP they had my act they knew all my moves like I had this down cold

111:10Terry crew crews flew in and introduced me and when we get on the plane to fly the director says the DP is not gonna make it I found out later he took another gig so now I'm performing my special that I'm spending now $100,000 on in front of four camera guys who have never seen my act oh no and I do the special and it went great did two shows I'm still hype about it get back the footage this guy so whatever you could this the medium shot saw focused both shows no blurry so no all my punch lines are over my left shoulder which is not so I couldn't resell it so I had to put it on YouTube and my boy calls it the most expensive demo tape on YouTube my god it's called Owen Smith Anonymous and I was so you know I was stressed me I lost a patch of hair it was it was a contacted EP go what the I never did Wow I never did that's crazy I know everything how did you not like I

112:16you i I just I didn't pay the director to this Pam I paid this crew I paid everybody else biggest check ever wrote at that time and I never but you said I'm not paying you I go you know why I'm not paying you and I said you had two shows to see this I could have done my whole act over without an audience like I knew it that well right just to you know capture this and my whole purpose was to be sodas you didn't listen to him it was this thing because he had only done music he had done comedy yeah I knew every special and oh and the reason in that whole year every director that came and directed Everybody Hates Chris episodes I would take them to lunch because I found that they did comedy specials and I would pick their brain on it right no yeah so I was very confident in what I needed you know and this didn't work and so uh that put me like I was scared to spend my own money on

113:08anything else scared to do anything for 10 years and then I've then I shot a special on iPhones I bought 10 iPhones we lit the place right shot economy special and then I returned the iPhones videotape myself returning eyeballs and got my money back and I've released a special we sent that to Netflix and at the time they that not the people who are there now but the people who were there before I heard they just said I wasn't famous enough to have a Netflix there's a lot of people that aren't very famous of Netflix specialists though that could be argued that could be argument so that was another you know so I just put that up on YouTube it's called good luck everybody those are the two oh so those are available now and the one that you shot with iPhones good luck everybody I just how much that cost to shoot at all what iPhones it costs me I paid an editor so if I

114:03didn't pay him it would have cost me less than a thousand dollars that's a great deal yeah with the editor it cost me it's a bargain maybe eight do you remember when Dave Attell did something where he gained audience cameras you let them film him yeah yeah it's great that's a smart move yeah if you've got something to say it don't matter how you had a moment as captured I feel like if just saying well just doing something like that I'm especially Dave like dave is at his best if you seen David tell he's other's best in these small crowds yes small audiences yeah I keeps up the improv last week whole area see when I'm dead last yeah audience was half gone yeah everybody's tired he's still hilarious he's fantastic man I used to go up after him a lot it to cellar and it was like it was beautiful just the way he would yeah I mean I loved watching him work that's a real like a

114:53real master of his craft yes you know and a real veteran yeah yeah yeah nothing's gonna shake this he's got so much material he's always writing yeah instantly writing yeah chain-smoking and writing I know I know yeah so yeah so those are the two that I've done but not not yet hopefully somebody approached me because I have some stuff that I really would love to yeah man we got to get you out there out there yeah I mean this door right now is so crazy how many talented people are there yeah Theo von did that place on fire last night he's dough I want I don't want to tell any of his bits but goddamn he had to be crying it's like there's so many people right now that are so good it's weird it's like the level at that place it's like never before yeah never before I mean I started there in 94 and the level was terrible Wow there's a bunch of Botox yeah bunch of

115:47guys from the road that like they had started out there in the 70s and they were still around they had the same act I mean there was some literally some people that started out there in like 78 they were still floating around in 94 and they were just terrible it was death and then somewhere around 2000 and maybe like four yeah I've started picking back up yeah and Abe was pretty good for a couple years then I bolted in 2007 after the Carlos Mencia thing and I didn't come back until 2014 and now it's just a ha it's never seen it like this never seen the this this level there's so many lines around the corner to is so inspiring like yeah is amazing and the store helped me tremendously especially the o.r because you you can't charm your way through a bit you know like you have to know what you came to say yeah and I love that I love that it challenges it

116:45challenges you as an artist to really all right yeah ok like you can't giggle and be like huh you see people try to and it's ugly it's terrible it's it's our audience filled with comedy nerds yeah you know there's a lot it's a different way it's a different place now yeah it used to be like you'd get away with way more there it's now at the level so high it's just the expectations are so hot great man that's the best place to build that muscle because then when you go anywhere else it's like you know it's running with wait time yeah but listen man I'm glad we got you in the air I'm gonna imma see time and what you're gonna be on that uh the the benefit that we're doing do it again Justin rent that's way December 6th at sold out folks yes that's for the fight further forgotten they build wells in the Congo and that's gonna be at the Comedy Store to be you and me and yeah Tom Segura Tom

117:33papa Tony Hinchcliffe get it and Whitney Whitney coming a powerful all right see you guys soon cool Thank You Owen Smith ladies and gentlemen yo what's your Twitter tell people Owen Smith for real number for number for real Instagram same thing same thing same thing all thanks brother yeah thank you