Richard Osman: Moment 91 - The "Harmless" Thing You Do That Hurts So Many People! - Richard Osmond

00:03The other thing you talk about, and I've seen this in a few interviews, is your height being something you've almost contended with and it's, you know, it's interesting because, um. A lot of short men want to be tall men, and to hear a tall man say yeah speak as if he would rather be a little bit shorter it is quite surprising, well. I'm six foot seven which is too much is the truth. Uh and you know it it it makes you extraordinary look, my eyesight is not people can't see that right, okay so that's mine, and that's internalized and you know, I deal with that how I want to my height is something that people can always see and I find it, I find it fascinating again in this world of social media when when when people talk about microaggressions. And stuff that you must have seen your entire life, which is if you're different in any way, right, you're reminded of it.

00:44Nonst stop you know mostly in know people that are not being cruel sometimes they are now I have a height, so I'm not being discriminated against because of my height right? That's not you know I'm not it's not costing me anything but I do know that every single day of my life I'm reminded of it every single day, just nonst stop and so I know that to be a person of color, to be differently gendered, to be all of these things, I know that the micro aggressions I get you' are getting nonst stop every day of your life and in a much more harmful way. So I've always hopefully really, really understood the idea of microaggressions and that idea that please, I hear this every single day even if you're trying to be kind, you know, if you see somebody is different, they do not need to be told, they do not need it pointed out every single day because everyone has told them their entire life that they're different, you know and I know you're just thinking yeah but it's just me you think yeah, but it's just you and five other people every single day for ever and you know.

01:45I've had that with my height forever and ever and ever and felt incredibly self conscious and most people are perfectly nice, some people are. Horrible because some people it's a really good radar for what people are like, I call it AC word radar, sometimes this being different in any way and which I perhaps you'll agree with which is so many people are sort of lovely and chat, but then you know a couple of times a day, there's just someone who wants to shout at you out of a window or just wants to make you feel small ironically you know that's what they want to do, and you just think WHY. For someone's a bit different to you and you've got to shout something and make yourself feel a bit better, you know and. So being different in any way whatsoever, I think really teaches you.

02:27About people and about the hate that's out there and about the unhappiness that's out there because that's where it all comes from, and so being tall yeah has taught me about microaggressions, and and has made me try and fight for people who are different and has made me just say to people if someone is different right, just talk to them normally you don't need to. It's we never had the word but sometimes I'll sort of tweet something about oh, I love this film or I love I went to see this gig called blah blah blah and like 10 people go glad I. Wasn't behind you and you know what? It's a perfectly harmless joke, right? Perfectly harmless. I get it. I understand why people do it, but I get it every single time someone does it. So just think for one second has this guy ever heard this before?

03:09Has he heard this thing before? Is it a fun thing to say to him? Because to me, if I go to a gigat cinema, it's a nightmare because I don't want to be in front of anyone. I go out of my way to be as far back as possible which when you can't see it's impossible or you know, sit on the island and cinema yeah, I take it seriously and every single time they say it now that's just a. Tiny example but recently people said have started saying oh, you mustn't body shame, I thought well that's interesting because body shammeing is sort of something that um, you know certain people would say that all that that's what a snowflake talking about body shaming but actually it really I think yeah. That's what you're doing. That's what people have done to me for the last 30 years. They body shame me like because they've talked about my stature and I felt ashamed.

03:52That's body shaming. I mean, that's what that is. I would never have thought of it as that. I just was embarrassed. It just made me feel shy and made me not want to go out. But it's body shaming. And actually having it named, you just think, oh, good for you and it's the younger generation who do it, they're so great and they're just say, no, come on, that's body shaming and you think, oh, that's such a, such a lovely sort of thing to have in my armoury to kind of go, yeah, that's exactly what you're doing, uh, and again, 90% of people, they mean nothing by it and I get it, but it's just boring and 10% of people it's, you just think, oh, you' you're very unpleasant. I am, I never I'm so glad to hear that because it's really changed my perspective because um, and I mean genuinely mean that like I wouldn't sit here and just go yeah I agree, I genuinely have learned something yeah and um.

04:37And I think, I think it's, I think it's because of what, how I phrased the question at the start in the sense that a lot of people feel a ton of shame for being slightly shorter, which is, again, it's a, it's, it's a point, point of being different, um, and I've never heard, in my experience, someone say. But it's completely right that wherever they go they must be continually reminded of the fact that they're taller than everybody and how that might might make them feel. When did that first start happening in your life? Well.

05:02sort of in my teenger I was I was I was sort of very tall from about 17 probably I was always tall but kind of nice. Oh, you're the tallest in your class and that's, you know, which is quite a fun thing to be, you know, that's what you want, you want to be six two, right? That's what, you know, anyone who's five nine or six seven that we all want to be six two, uh, and yes, I sort of 1718 and when I was off to university, which again is very, you know, so I'm sort of this guy who is much too tall. And is awkward about being tall who can't see anything and who's quite an introvert anyway, uh, and so. And I sort of had this full self anyway from when he was nine years old and his dad left and everything' was okay, um, so I, you know, there' was a real sort of storm of things brewing there, as I say, all of which have brought me good things in the end, but, uh, you know, I think, um.

05:47Meant that, you know, I didn't, I didn't live the life I should have done for many years because I was sort of hiding away from things. Some things I have to hide away from because with my eyesight I just can't, it's not safe for me to do various things and some things just my height and sort of think I'm gonna to look stupid, oh I'm gonna to look stupid, I'm on a roller coaster thing and also what if I can, what if my legs don't fit on that and you know, just silly, silly little things and. You know the world will not the world is not shy and letting you know that you're weird, you know that there's something weird about you and certainly that's what I felt. I felt weird and of course as soon as you feel weird you have to sort of.

06:23You know, you live with it and you, your, your behavior sort of changes and you're gonna to go, oh I am a weird person so I have to hide that away or explain away why I'm weird you know, I'm very grateful that. The one thing I always had was I was good with words, I was able to put things into words, I was always able to make people laugh, uh, and so I, for years I've been able to paper over the cracks of all of that because I had all this stuff, but I knew that I could sit in a room and make people laugh and I knew I could say the right things to people and I, and so I sort of, I, I got away with it for years and years and years is the truth.