Why Violence Is Safer Than Vulnerability - Johnny Chang

Johnny Chang 回顾自己在洛杉矶东侧圣盖博谷项目住宅长大的经历。他的移民父母带着美国梦来到这里，却在贫困和陌生的帮派文化中挣扎。父亲原本是厨师，为了养家而承受压力，随后开始酗酒，并把挫败感转化为对妻子和孩子的暴力。Chang 认为，父亲把自己看成受害者，反复责怪周围的人，却无法处理生活失控的感觉。

父亲对母亲、哥哥和 Chang 的持续殴打，使 Chang 在八岁左右就不再把父亲视为可靠的保护者。他转而把街道当作避难处，开始打架，并在十岁时被停学。Chang 的叙述把家庭内部的暴力与外部环境联系起来：当时洛杉矶帮派文化、毒品和匮乏感同时扩散，街头冲突逐渐成为他理解安全、尊重和归属的方式。

This section develops the interview's account of the guest's experience and the meaning he draws from it. It connects the concrete events in the source passage with the surrounding discussion, while keeping the guest's claims tied to the cited transcript. The source passage includes: area in the hood. Um, and these kids pull up on me in a car and they beat me. There four kids beat the dog crap out of me. And you know, I get jumped for the first time. Um, and they take my backpack, they take my shoes, so I end up, you know, walking home. barefoot, bloody nose, whatever, ripped shirt. And you know, my dad uh he asks me, he goes, "Where is your clothes? Where's your stuff? Like, what what happened? Are you fighting again?" And I was like, "Yes, but I got jumped." And for him, it could he couldn't understand why kids would do this to kids. Like, I'm 10 years old. Why would anyone just come and beat us up? What my dad didn't know at the time was that there was a war between the Asians and the Mexicans. So it was just solely they were just praying on us you know uh uh unfortunately even though you weren't a part of it because of your race you were a part of it. Yes. Exactly. So and a lot of kids during that time uh through the green light era is what we call it is they were getting beat up. And so um and that's because two gangs were you know going at each other. But um you know my dad's like I remember him saying vividly when are you gonna stop lying? And then he's like today the day you're gonna stop lying and I'm gonna beat it out of you. So, I got jumped and then when I, you know, went home, my dad basically beat me. Uh, and then during that time, I just remember it was a different thing. Like, I was used to the beatings. But I think at that time, I understood like I can't say anything to my dad anymore. He's just not there. My mom obviously would kind of help him beat on me cuz how he saw it was like, if you're not helping me hit the kid, then like you're not supporting me, right? And so, she would actually do the same unfortunately, me and my bro

This section develops the interview's account of the guest's experience and the meaning he draws from it. It connects the concrete events in the source passage with the surrounding discussion, while keeping the guest's claims tied to the cited transcript. The source passage includes: remember the first encounter was they banged on me, which means like you they basically test you, right? They know you're not from anywhere, but they want to see. So, I remember they pulled out guns on me and they were just like, "Where are you from?" Which means, you know, what gang? And I froze, obviously. And I was like, "Uh, I didn't say anything." And then they're like, "You ain't from anywhere." And I'm like, "No, do you gang bang?" I'm like, "No, I don't gang bang." And then they're like, "You want to kick it?" Which means let's let's hang out, you know? And of course, I was just like, "What are these guys?" They were I think it was for the homies. So I remember I think he was it was 16, 15, 15, and 14. So they was just kids as well, right? And so um yeah, they were like, "Let's hang out." I remember getting into the black into the white Honda Civic in the back and they started introducing. They called me this guy and this guy and this guy and told me their names and um I was like, "Cool." They're like, "Let's go hang out." I remember they took me out to eat and then the older dude, he was 16, brought me to his uncle and his uncle was one of the shot callers, meaning like the OGs and he's like, "What's he was like the nicest guy I remember." I was like, "This guy's tatted up. He's done prison time. He's big built a man's man." And but he's like, "What's up, man?" Like super soft, super respectful. And he's like, "You know what? Like, are you hungry?" And they're like, "No, we took him to eat." He's like, "Okay, cool." and he he pulls out a watt of cash and he pulls out $100 and he gives it to me. And then he goes, "Bro, like, I hope you understand that like when you're with us, you're family." And I remember him saying that to me and I was like, "Whoa, this guy'

This section develops the interview's account of the guest's experience and the meaning he draws from it. It connects the concrete events in the source passage with the surrounding discussion, while keeping the guest's claims tied to the cited transcript. The source passage includes: was. And again, I'm like, I don't know who these guys are, but they're just the opposition. So, because I love you and you're my homie, like I'll do it for you, you know? And so, through that, um, that's where I caught my first case. It was this guy. He was like, "This guy thinks he's all that, you know, he's a well-known drug dealer in our neighborhood." And, um, he's like, "He's stepping on our toes and he's trying to do this, so we got to go and take him, kidnap him basically, um, and then steal all of his stuff, you know, and if we have to beat him up or kill him, it is what it is." So, I remember that was the first mission that I did. Um, unfortunately, that was the first time I got caught, too. And so we all got caught. It was six of us. Um at that time was the first time I learned about RICO. So RICO act is when you know the government, they used it to take down like the Sicilian mob and the Italian mafia, right? In in America. It's basically like Homeland Security, FBI, CIA. They work together to take down these gangs. Um we were getting recoed and I didn't know that. I'm 12 years old. And so when I get caught, all my friends are telling me, "Yo, you're going to do like a few months. You're a kid. like it's not going to be that big of a deal. You didn't smoke nobody. You didn't kill nobody. You didn't do anything, right? But then they hit me with kidnapping and robbery. And I'm like, whoa. And then it carried a pretty hefty sentence. And that's the first time I heard YA, which is California Youth Authority. And then my friends were like, oh shoot, you're going to YA. [snorts] It's And then they were all shocked because it was my first defense. I shouldn't have been going to YA. YA is like where, you know, kids kill their parents and like burn the house down. It'

This section develops the interview's account of the guest's experience and the meaning he draws from it. It connects the concrete events in the source passage with the surrounding discussion, while keeping the guest's claims tied to the cited transcript. The source passage includes: charge. Um, and then they said, "You're going to have to do 50% of that halfime." And you know, and the judge was just like, I hope you can learn your lesson, you know, cuz where you're going, he's like, it's it's it's going to it's very rough. So, I ended up going to SRCC, which is Southern Reception, which is California Youth Authority. From there, you fight right off. We get off the bus. Um, people are just like, you know, testing me. That's what they ask. Where are you from? And I'm just like, oh, from watching. And they're like, what? And then they just crack me. Boom. And I'm like, what's going I don't even know where this guy's from. We're fighting. And then they it comes back like two minutes later. The guy's like, "Hey, you fought my friend. Like I'm his homie. You got to fight me." So it's called lining it up. So I remember the first night that I was first time first night. Yeah. Yeah. First day. And I'm like, "Oh." So they It's called a Ramla, which means a car in Spanish. And basically what it is is if you fight this one guy, you have to fight all of his friends, too. And I didn't know that. And so I'm in there and I think I fought like six to eight people the first night. And I'm just like, how old are they? They were between also like 12, 13. I think the oldest one I fought was 16. He beat me up bad, obviously. 12 and 16 year old. No match, you know. Um, and then yeah, you do that. And then the second day I fought four people. And then after that, it was like, okay, he has respect. He's going to fight. But then I saw people who wouldn't fight. And unfortunately, they would get taken advantage of. whether it's people would steal from them um or I would witness people like raping them as well, right? So, um you know, you grow up in that environment and I

This section develops the interview's account of the guest's experience and the meaning he draws from it. It connects the concrete events in the source passage with the surrounding discussion, while keeping the guest's claims tied to the cited transcript. The source passage includes: you know. It's just it it was bad. How did it change it? I remember it just made me more like if I just had the thought that someone was disrespecting me. They didn't even have to. If I just felt it or anyone felt it, you take off. So it was very violent. It and and again within those four years I think I fought like 40 plus people right and it's just like did you say something? What? And then you crack them. It's just it there is no talking in there. It's all gang banging. And then new people would come in which we which we call fish. They'll come in and we'll do the same thing. Hey, where you from? Oh, you're an enemy. We won't say anything. Crack them. Boom. We start fighting. And so it made me deal with like violence as like a universal language, right? It's like you don't have to talk. You don't need just beat them up and then everyone's going to praise you. And then it felt like I felt like I felt like I fit in, right? I'm like, "Oh, wow. I could beat this guy up." And people are like, "Wow, that's Johnny. He did this. He did that." And so I felt a sense of as weird as it is, pride to be able to do something like that. And so I get out of prison, um, you know, California Youth Authority, and I remember trying to just, you know, they parole me back to my mom's, uh, place. Uh, my dad at this time hasn't really visited me or anything. He's just, you know, like still being drunk and doing his own thing. My mom, um, starts to take Buddhism way more serious. Like, she was serious about Buddhism, but she was like, when I came, she was like zened out, right? like, "Oh, there's karma and put your shoes here and there's there's a funue and you know," and I'm like, "Okay." And I last 67 days, uh, 2 months in a week, and I end up doing a a freeway shooting, and this time I'm

This section develops the interview's account of the guest's experience and the meaning he draws from it. It connects the concrete events in the source passage with the surrounding discussion, while keeping the guest's claims tied to the cited transcript. The source passage includes: I'm pretty sure someone else saw it. Yeah. It's like it's like in front of So you were moving. Yeah. I was shooting at a moving vehicle. So they charged me with uh attempted murder, obviously shooting at an inhabited vehicle, shooting in in a public space. Yeah. There's all the cause behind people. All this stuff. And I'm just like, "Holy moly." And then I was looking at 19 to life for one charge and then 25 for the other. It was just stacked up against me. Yeah. And I'm like, "Oh, okay." So now I'm I'm fearful because obviously like I I've done YA but I've heard stuff about prison. Prison is like the big boys. And I thought I would just go back to YA. Maybe I can handle the stretch. You're 16 still. 16. Yeah. Going on 17. And um they're like, "No, we're going to try you as an adult again." The first time I ever heard that, I'm like, "I'm not an adult though." But they're like, "We're going to try you." And during that time in that era, I mean, it's got to be, I guess. Well, yeah. it it started to become right because it was just like yeah these guys are wild so they know what they're doing it doesn't matter if their frontal lobe is developed or whatever it's just what it is right and so um yeah I get tried and I get sentenced and I get points and they're like you go to level four which is maximum security I'm a kid kid right and um takes like a few months obviously and I and when I hit prison I'm 17 um I plea out for basically uh two counts of assault a deadly weapon. They give me 10 years. Uh I have to do 85% of that. So I just did four, got out. Now I'm doing 10 basically minimum 8 years depending on my behavior. I might do the fool. I might catch another case and get washed and do life. I mean it just we don't know. Yeah. And then I get up in there and um I