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Annaka Harris: Free Will, Consciousness, and the Nature of Reality

Episode 3262022-10-05English

Guests: Annaka Harris

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§01Transcript · 00:00–08:37

00:00When we use the term free will,

00:01we're talking about this feeling that consciousness,

00:04that we have a self, that there's this concrete thing

00:08that's separate from brain processing

00:11that somehow swoops in and is the cause of our decision

00:15or the cause of our next action.

00:17And that is, in large part, if not in its entirety,

00:21an illusion.

00:22- The following is a conversation with Anika Harris,

00:27author of "Conscious,"

00:28a brief guide to the fundamental mystery of the mind.

00:32And is someone who writes and thinks a lot

00:35about the nature of consciousness and of reality,

00:39especially from the perspectives

00:40of physics and neuroscience.

00:43This is the Lux Freedom Podcast.

00:45To support it, please check out our sponsors

00:47in the description.

00:48And now, dear friends, here's Anika Harris.

00:52In your book, "Conscious," you described evidence

00:55that free will is an illusion

00:57and that consciousness is used to construct this illusion

01:00and convince ourselves

01:02that we are, in fact, deciding our actions.

01:05Can you explain this?

01:06I think this is chapter three.

01:07- First of all, I really think it's important

01:09to make a distinction between free will and conscious will.

01:13And we'll get into that in a moment.

01:15So free will, in terms of our brain as a system in nature,

01:20making complex decisions

01:21and doing all of the complex processing it does,

01:25there is a decision-making process in nature

01:28that our brains undergo that we can call free will.

01:32That's fine to use that shorthand for that.

01:34Although, once we get into the details,

01:36I might convince you that it's not so free.

01:40But the decision-making process is a process in nature.

01:44The feeling, our conscious experience

01:47of feeling like consciousness is the thing

01:50that is driving the behavior,

01:53that is, I would say, in most cases, an illusion.

01:57And usually, when we talk about free will,

02:01that's the thing we're talking about.

02:02I mean, sometimes it's in conjunction

02:04with the decision-making process,

02:06but for the most part, when we use the term free will,

02:09we're talking about this feeling that consciousness,

02:12that we have a self, that there's this concrete thing

02:15that's separate from brain processing

02:18that somehow swoops in

02:20and is the cause of our decision

02:22or the cause of our next action.

02:24And that is, in large part,

02:27if not in its entirety, an illusion.

02:29- So conscious will is an illusion,

02:32and then we can try to figure out--

02:33- Free will, I would say, is good shorthand

02:35for a process in nature,

02:37which is a decision-making process of the brain.

02:40- But decisions are still being made.

02:42So there's,

02:42if you ran the universe over again,

02:49is there, would it turn out the same way?

02:52I mean, maybe, I'm trying to sneak up to,

02:55what does it mean to make a decision

02:57in a way that's almost, that means something?

03:01- So right, so this is where our intuitions get challenged.

03:04I've been thinking about some new examples for this

03:06just because I talk about it a lot.

03:08And the truth is, most of the things I write about

03:11and talk about and think about are so counterintuitive.

03:14I mean, that's really what my game is,

03:16is breaking intuitions, shaking up intuitions

03:19in order to get a deeper understanding of reality.

03:23I'm often, even though I've thought about this for 20 years

03:27and think about it all the time,

03:28it's an obsession of mine, really,

03:30I have to get back into that mind frame

03:34to be able to think clearly about it

03:37because it is so counterintuitive.

03:38- How long does that take?

03:40How hard is that?

03:41- Depends on if there are kids around

03:42or if I'm alone or if I've been meditating.

03:44But what I was going to say, actually,

03:46I felt like we needed to just take one step back

03:49and talk a little bit, just because I think

03:52the importance of shaking up intuitions

03:55for scientific advancement is such an important piece

04:00of the scientific process.

04:02And I think we've reached a point in consciousness studies

04:05where it's very difficult to move forward.

04:10And usually that's a sign that we need

04:13to start shaking up our intuitions.

04:14So throughout history, the huge breakthroughs,

04:18the things that have really shifted our view of the universe

04:21and our place in the universe and all of that,

04:24those almost always, if not always,

04:26require that we, at the very least,

04:29shift our intuitions, update our intuitions.

04:33But many of them we just have to let go of intuitions

04:36that are feeding us false information

04:37about the way the world works.

04:39- Well, the weirdest thing here is that

04:41here we're looking at our own mind.

04:44So you have to let go of your intuitions

04:48about your own intuitions.

04:51- Yeah, right, exactly.

04:53It's very meta and makes it hard.

04:55And it's part of the reason why doing interviews for me

04:59feels so difficult, aside from the fact

05:01that I just have social anxiety in general.

05:04- Well, it's good 'cause I took mushrooms

05:06just before we started.

05:07- Perfect, that's what I should have done.

05:09- We're on this journey together, let's go.

05:12So where do we take a step backwards to us?

05:14- Well, I was going to say,

05:15I mean, this leads into the point I was going to make,

05:17but what I was going to say is,

05:19I mean, also just for me, I feel like

05:21I'm not as good at speaking as I am at writing,

05:26that I'm clearer in my writing.

05:28And because these topics are so difficult

05:30to get our minds around,

05:31it's hard to kind of get to any real conclusion in real time.

05:38It's actually how I started writing my book,

05:42was just writing for myself.

05:43I decided that I needed to spend some time

05:45writing down all of my thoughts

05:47in order to get clear about how I think about them.

05:50- So you write down a sentence and you think,

05:53you're in the silence, quiet. - Paragraphs.

05:55- Paragraphs, and you just--

05:58- And then I see if that makes sense,

05:59and then I check it with my intuitions,

06:01which is really the scientific process.

06:02And I really, in many ways,

06:04I feel like I'm a physicist at heart.

06:06All of my inquiry, all of my career,

06:10everything I'm interested in,

06:11actually going back to being a child,

06:14is just deep curiosity about how the world works,

06:19what this place is, what it's made of,

06:22how we got here, just being amazed at the fact

06:26that I'm having an experience over here

06:28and you're having one over there,

06:29and we're in this moment of time,

06:31and what does that all mean?

06:34My interest in consciousness really came out of

06:37originally an interest in physics.

06:38And I guess that the two were always side by side,

06:41and I didn't really connect them until I was older,

06:43but I've always been really interested

06:47in just understanding the nature of reality

06:51before I even had language to describe it.

06:54- You talked about laying down and looking up at the stars,

06:59sort of trying to let go of the intuition

07:02that there's a ground below us,

07:05which is a really interesting exercise,

07:06and there's many exercises of this sort you can do,

07:09but that's a really good one.

07:10- Well, and I think scientists and children

07:14who will become scientists,

07:15who are just kind of scientists at heart,

07:18really enjoy that feeling

07:20of breaking through their intuitions.

07:22And I remember the first time it happened, actually,

07:25I was playing with marbles,

07:28and marbles have all these different shapes.

07:32Each one is unique, and they're all these,

07:34it looks like there's liquid inside them.

07:36And I remember asking my father

07:39how they got the liquid inside the glass ball,

07:41and he said, "Actually, it's solid all the way through.

07:43"It's all glass."

07:45And I had such a hard time imagining,

07:47it just didn't seem right to me.

07:48I was very young when I,

07:50but he's a complicated person,

07:52but he was wonderful in this way,

07:53in that he would kind of entertain my curiosity.

07:57And so he said, "Let's open them up."

07:59And he got a towel, and we put the marbles on the towel,

08:02and got a hammer, and he smashed them all,

08:04and lo and behold, it was all glass.

08:06And I remember, it's like the first time I had that feeling

08:10of realizing, wow, the truth was so different

08:14from what I expected.

08:16And I like that feeling.

08:18And of course, we need to be able to do that

08:20to understand that the Earth is flat,

08:23to understand the germ theory of disease,

08:25to understand long processes in nature like evolution.

08:29I mean, we just can never really intuit

08:31that we share genes with ants.

08:33- Did you just say the Earth is flat?

08:35- I mean, the Earth is not flat.

08:37- Did I say that? - Yeah, this is great.

§02Transcript · 08:38–17:10

08:38Which I actually like to think about--

08:39- Exactly, see, this is why I need to write and not speak.

08:43- Well, I actually really like conspiracy theories and so on.

08:46I really like flat Earth,

08:48people that believe the Earth is flat,

08:49or not believe, but argue for the Earth is flat.

08:52- Well, it's interesting, because you can see,

08:54I mean, the intuition is so strong, I just said it.

08:56- The thing I love about folks who argue for flat Earth

08:59is they are thinking deeply.

09:03They're questioning, actually,

09:05what has now become intuition.

09:07It's become the mainstream narrative

09:09that the Earth is round, where people actually don't,

09:14yeah, don't think, actually,

09:18how crazy it is that the Earth is round.

09:20We're in a ball.

09:22And that's exactly what you're doing.

09:24You're looking out at the space.

09:26It's really humbling, 'cause I think the basic intuition,

09:29when you're walking on the ground,

09:32you kind of, there's a underlying belief

09:35that Earth is the center of the universe.

09:37There's a kind of feeling

09:39like this is the only world that exists.

09:42And you kind of know that there's a huge universe out there,

09:45but you don't really load that information in.

09:47And I think flat Earthers are really contending

09:51with those big ideas.

09:53- Yeah, no, and I think, I mean, the truth is that

09:55when those observations were first made,

09:58when the celestial observations were made

10:00that revealed this fact to us,

10:03I can't remember how long it took,

10:04but I think it was close to 100 years

10:06before it was actually accepted as common knowledge

10:11that we're no longer the center of the universe,

10:13or of course we never were.

10:15And that's true almost every time

10:19we have a breakthrough like that,

10:20that challenges our intuitions.

10:23There's usually a period of time where we have to,

10:28and this is an important part of the process,

10:30because often our intuitions give us good information.

10:32And so when the science goes against,

10:35when our scientific observations go against our intuitions,

10:39it's important for us to let that in

10:43and to see which side is gonna win.

10:46And once it's clear that the evidence is winning,

10:49then there's this period of time

10:50where we have to grapple with our intuitions

10:53and shift the way we frame our worldview

10:57and go through that process.

10:59- So free will.

11:00- Free will's a hard one.

11:01- It's a hard one.

11:02- So here we are, still in consciousness studies,

11:07pretty stuck, at least in terms of the neuroscience.

11:10And so that's why I started thinking more deeply about that.

11:14That's why a lot of scientists right now

11:16are actually interested in studying consciousness,

11:19where it was very taboo before.

11:20And so we're at this really interesting turning point,

11:23and it's wonderful, but it will require

11:26that we shake up our intuitions a bit

11:29and reframe some things

11:31and look at what the neuroscience is telling us.

11:35And there are a lot of questions.

11:37We have more questions than answers.

11:39But I think it's time.

11:41I think if we're going to make progress

11:43in consciousness studies,

11:45we need to start really looking at the illusions

11:50and false intuitions that are getting in our way.

11:52- Do you think studying the brain

11:53can give us clues about free will,

11:55like some of these questions?

11:56- Yeah, absolutely.

11:57I think it already has.

11:58And I think many facts that have come out of neuroscience

12:02are still barely seeping into the culture.

12:05I mean, I think this is going to be a long process.

12:08So part of my work is really just looking at areas

12:11where we already know some of our intuitions are wrong

12:15and starting to accept them and starting to let them in

12:19and starting to ask questions about,

12:20well, what does this mean then

12:22about the nature of consciousness?

12:24- Let's try to actually get at this question

12:27of free will and conscious will.

12:30I have, my intuitions here are,

12:32I mean, I'm a human being.

12:34It's really, I mean, I approach it from two aspects.

12:38One is a human being, and two, from a robotics perspective.

12:42And I wonder how big the gap between the two is.

12:46And that's a useful, from an engineering perspective,

12:50is another perspective that's useful

12:52and helpful to take on this.

12:54It's like, are we really so different, you and I,

12:57the robot and the human?

12:59You'd like to believe so,

13:02but you don't exactly see where the difference is.

13:05- Research into AI and just the fact

13:07that it's entered our consciousness

13:09at the level of stories and film

13:12and all of these questions that it's raising

13:15is facing us with that.

13:19It's almost like the zombie experiment

13:22is coming to life for us.

13:23You know, we're more and more looking at human-like systems

13:28and wondering, is there an experience in there

13:32and how can we figure that out?

13:35When you were talking about your experience

13:37of looking at robots, it reminds me of how I,

13:40for many years, have been looking at plants.

13:42Because the plant behavior,

13:45and actually, this is the example.

13:46Maybe we'll just try it out.

13:47It may not work.

13:48This is an example I was thinking of recently

13:50because I was reading back on the work of Mark Jaffe,

13:54who did this research with pea tendrils.

13:57I'm sure he did many other plant studies,

13:59but this is the one I was reading about.

14:01And I'm hoping this analogy, I'll just set it up.

14:04I'm hoping that this analogy will be something

14:06that we can keep coming back to as we move forward

14:08because as we shake up our intuitions and get confused

14:12and then we come back to our intuitions

14:13and say, no, that just can't be.

14:15I think this analogy might be helpful.

14:17- What kind of plant was he working on?

14:19- Pea tendrils.

14:20So a pea plant has these tendrils.

14:22You can picture them.

14:23They coil.

14:25So I don't know what year this research was done.

14:31I'm guessing in the '80s, but some--

14:34- But pea tendrils have been around long before that.

14:37- Yes, of course.

14:38(laughs)

14:39And the research may have happened long before the '80s.

14:41- In fact, they might be doing the research on the humans,

14:43but that's another story.

14:43- Yeah, right.

14:46Pea tendrils, as a system, generally,

14:50there are a few more things they can do,

14:52but generally they can behave in two ways.

14:55They can grow in a straight line slowly

14:57or they can grow in this coil form more quickly.

15:02And what happens is when they are growing

15:06in a straight manner and they encounter a branch

15:10or a pole or something else that it can wrap itself around

15:14to gain more stability, when it senses a branch there,

15:17that gives it the cue to start growing at a more rapid pace

15:20and to start coiling instead of growing straight.

15:23So it has these two behaviors.

15:24As a system, it's capable of growing straight

15:26and it's capable of coiling.

15:28One interesting thing, actually, I'll just add this.

15:31It's not totally relevant,

15:32but one interesting thing is Mark Jaffe's work.

15:35So he cut a pea tendril.

15:38He was curious to see if it could do this on its own,

15:40separate from the rest of the plant.

15:42So he cut a pea tendril off the plant.

15:45If you keep it in a moist, warm environment,

15:47it will continue to behave in these ways.

15:50So it will continue to coil.

15:52He noticed that if he touched one end of it,

15:55if he rubbed one side of it, that gave it enough of a cue

15:58that it would start to coil.

16:00And then he noticed that it needed light

16:02to perform this action.

16:04So in the dark, when he rubbed the edge of the tendril,

16:08it did not coil.

16:10In the light, it would, and then he recognized

16:14this further fact, which was that the pea tendril

16:17that he rubbed in the dark, that was still straight,

16:20if he brought it out into the light,

16:22and this could be hours later, it would start to coil.

16:25It has a primitive form of memory

16:28where it has the sensation

16:31and then it holds onto that information.

16:34And as soon as there's light, it acts on that information.

16:36- But also in a kind of distributed intelligence,

16:39because you can separate it from the main part.

16:43Like if you chop off a human arm,

16:45it's not gonna keep growing.

16:48- Even if you keep it in a moist, warm environment,

16:50it's not gonna reach out for the cup of coffee

16:52when you come in with Starbucks.

16:54- Maybe in the correct environment.

16:56Maybe we just haven't found the environment.

16:58But anyway, that's pretty amazing.

16:59- So that's a separate fact.

17:01But anyway, so if you just use the analogy of a pea tendril,

17:05and if you imagine, which is something I like to do a lot,

17:07if you imagine this plant

17:10has some kind of conscious experience,

§03Transcript · 17:12–26:03

17:12of course it doesn't have complex thought,

17:13it doesn't have anything like a human experience,

17:16but if it were possible for a plant

17:19to have some felt experience,

17:21you can imagine that when it comes into contact

17:26with a branch and starts to coil,

17:29that that feeling could be one of deciding to do that,

17:33or that it feels good to do that, or kind of wanting.

17:36I mean, that's too complex, that's anthropomorphizing,

17:39but there's a way in which you could imagine

17:42this pea tendril under those circumstances

17:44suddenly wants to start coiling.

17:45- So you're saying you try to meditate

17:48on what it's like to be a pea tendril, a plant.

17:52Like that's what's required here.

17:54So you have to empathize with a plant,

17:56or with another organism that's not human.

17:58- Yeah, and you don't actually need that for this analogy,

18:00the larger analogy that I'm getting at,

18:02but I think that's an interesting piece to keep in mind,

18:04that you could imagine that in nature,

18:07if there's a conscious experience

18:09associated with a pea tendril,

18:10that at that moment, what that feels like is

18:13a want to start moving in a different way.

18:17- So you wanna imagine that without anthropomorphizing,

18:21so without projecting the human experience,

18:23but rather sort of humbling yourself

18:25that we're just another plant with more complexity.

18:29- Yes, in a way. - Like trying to see where--

18:31- Exactly, so that's where I'm going with this.

18:34So, and when you start making that connection,

18:37you can see where there are a few points

18:40at which there's room for an illusion to come in,

18:43for our own feelings of will.

18:45So when we move from a pea tendril

18:47to human decision-making,

18:49obviously, human decision-making,

18:52human brains are many, many, many times more complex

18:56than whatever's going on in a pea tendril.

18:57I mean, it is, the brain is actually

18:59the most complex thing we know of in the universe thus far.

19:03So there is the genes that help develop the brain

19:08into any particular brain into what it is,

19:10there are all the inputs,

19:11there are countless factors that we could never,

19:14I mean, it may as well be an infinite number of factors.

19:17And then in that particular moment,

19:19whatever the inputs are to a brain,

19:22the brain is capable of almost

19:25an infinite number of outputs, right?

19:27So if I walked in here this morning and you said,

19:31"Would you like water or tea?"

19:33And that's a simple decision for me to make.

19:36- I think that's a passive-aggressive way of telling me

19:37I should have offered you some tea.

19:40But yes, go on.

19:41- No, I wanted water.

19:42- Okay, all right.

19:44- I actually asked for water.

19:45- Okay, all right, great.

19:47- And you didn't have any free will anyway,

19:48so it doesn't matter.

19:49I don't hold you responsible for any of it.

19:51- Exactly, I was just running an algorithm,

19:54deterministically.

19:55- You give me this decision, right, to make water or tea.

19:59Go back to the pea tendril for a second.

20:00A pea tendril is capable of growing

20:02in a straight line slowly or in a coil quickly.

20:05My brain is capable of all kinds of responses

20:09to that question, even though you've given me two options.

20:13You could offer me water or tea,

20:15and I could just run out of the room screaming

20:18if I wanted to, right?

20:18- Happens to me all the time, I'm a date.

20:20- Nevermind, I don't wanna do this.

20:22- Yes.

20:23- The fact that the brain is capable,

20:27that there's so many inputs,

20:29and then the brain is capable of so many outputs,

20:32as a system, what it's hard for us to get our minds around

20:36is that it may not be capable of any behavior

20:41in every moment in time.

20:44So as a system, it's capable of doing all kinds of things.

20:47And the point I'm making is that

20:51if we could see all of the factors

20:55leading up to the moment where I chose water

20:57or where I ran screaming from the room,

21:00we could in fact see that there was no other behavior

21:06I was going to or could have exhibited in that moment,

21:10in the same way that when the pea tendril hits the branch,

21:12it starts coiling.

21:13- There's a parallel, which is very interesting in robotics,

21:17with fish and water.

21:20So you could see, they've experienced with dead fish

21:23and they keep swimming.

21:25So the fish is capable of all kinds of complicated movements

21:30as a system.

21:31But in any one moment, the river, the full complexity

21:36of the river defines the actual movement of the fish.

21:40- Right. - And that's sufficient.

21:41- Well, and I should also, I mean,

21:42this brings up another point, which is that

21:44there is a difference between voluntary

21:47and involuntary behavior.

21:48So of course, we have reflexes.

21:50And it is a different, there's different brain processing

21:55in action when I make a decision about water or tea,

22:00then there is, if my behavior is forced from the outside,

22:05or if I have a brain tumor that's causing me

22:08to make certain decisions or feel certain feelings.

22:11And so the point is at bottom,

22:14it's all brain processing and behavior.

22:17But the reason why certain actions feel will,

22:22there's a good reason why it feels that way.

22:25And it's to distinguish our own self-generated behavior

22:29based on thinking and possibly weighing

22:33the different results of different things.

22:35I already had caffeine today, I don't want more.

22:37You know, there are all these processes,

22:40things that we can point to and things that we can't,

22:43things I'm affected by at a subconscious level.

22:46And that is very different from an unwilled action

22:52or reflex or something like that.

22:54And so some people I can imagine,

22:56I haven't used the pee tendril example,

22:57but I can imagine they wouldn't like that

22:58because the pee tendril sounds more to them like a reflex.

23:03And that doesn't address the question

23:06of a much more complex decision-making process.

23:10But I think at bottom, that is what it is.

23:14And that's really where the illusion of free will

23:17and the illusion of self, which I think is,

23:18they're kind of two sides of the same coin, come from.

23:21So even when we intellectually understand

23:25that everything we're feeling, everything we're doing

23:27is based on our brain processing and brain behavior,

23:31if you're a physicalist, you've bought into that.

23:33Even when you intellectually understand that,

23:37we, and I include myself in this,

23:39we still have this feeling that there's something

23:43that stands outside of the brain processing

23:45that can intervene.

23:47And that's the illusion.

23:49I was tweeting with someone recently,

23:51which I almost never do, but we're working

23:53in the TED documentary that I'm making right now,

23:55we're working on the episode on free will.

23:58So I was allowing myself to go back and forth

24:01in a way that I don't usually on Twitter.

24:03- Like arguing? - About free will.

24:05It was a friendly debate.

24:06Gonna go into the reasons why I'm not crazy about Twitter,

24:09but let's leave that for another time.

24:11I mean, talk about how hard it is to have this conversation

24:15when we have as many hours as we like,

24:18trying to do it in sound bites over Twitter.

24:20- See, I like how you made the decision now

24:22not to talk about Twitter.

24:23(Anika laughing)

24:24It's a road less traveled. - Well, my brain,

24:27that was one of the things I said to this person was,

24:30'cause someone chimed in and said,

24:33"You said I, what do you mean by I?"

24:35And so, actually, that's another point I could make,

24:37which is, first, my response to that was,

24:41well, people tend to get creeped out when I say

24:44the system that is my brain and body

24:47that we call Anika recommends.

24:50- Why do they get freaked out?

24:51(Anika laughing)

24:52Oh, you mean like in your personal life?

24:54- Instead of I. - Oh, instead of I.

24:55- Instead of like never saying I, yeah.

24:56Always, you know, but I always refer to you

24:59as the brain and body we call Lex.

25:01- Yes.

25:02(laughing)

25:03Well, I don't know.

25:04That's kind of charming in a way.

25:07Alleged brain.

25:07- So I and you are very useful shorthand,

25:10even though at some level they're illusions.

25:13They're very useful shorthand for the system of my brain,

25:18really, and my body, the whole system.

25:21That I is useful for that, but the illusion

25:24is when we feel like there's something outside

25:26of that system that can intervene, that is free,

25:29that's somehow free from the physical world.

25:32I can have the thought, yeah, I'm really not crazy

25:37about having intellectual back and forth on Twitter,

25:40and then feel like I decide to not follow that thought,

25:44right, and the feeling, that's the feeling

25:47where the illusion comes in, because it really feels

25:51as if, sure, my brain had that original thought,

25:55and then I came in and made a different decision.

25:58But of course, the truth is, it was just further

26:01brain processing that got me to decide

26:03not to go down that path.

§04Transcript · 26:05–35:22

26:05- How much is that feeling of conscious will

26:08is culturally constructed shorthand?

26:11So like, I and you is, you could say,

26:16a culturally constructed shorthand.

26:19How much of that affects how we think?

26:22So our parents say I and you, I and you,

26:26and then we start to believe in I and you,

26:29and is that, or is that fundamental

26:32to the human brain machine that we--

26:37- I think it goes very deep.

26:38I think it's fundamental, and I think it probably,

26:40some form of feeling like a self goes as deep

26:45as cats and dogs, and it's possible,

26:48I mean, if consciousness does go down to the level of cells,

26:52or however far down you wanna take it, worms,

26:54or I think any system that's navigating itself,

26:58that kind of has boundaries and is navigating

27:01itself in the world, my guess is that

27:06it's an intrinsic part of, that's why I imagined

27:09that the pea tendril would have this feeling.

27:12And so, we use the word I,

27:18I think you're right, first of all,

27:19that the way we talk about things affects

27:22our intuitions about them and how we feel about them,

27:24and so there are other cultures who are more open

27:27to breaking through these illusions than others, for sure,

27:32just because of their belief sets, the way they talk.

27:36I mean, I'm sure, I'm not a linguist,

27:38and I don't even speak a second language,

27:40so I can't speak to it, but if there were a language

27:45that framed who we are differently in everyday language,

27:50I mean, in our everyday communication,

27:55I would think that would have an effect.

27:57- Yeah, language does affect things,

27:58and just knowing Russian and the history

28:02of the Soviet Union in the 20th century,

28:05obviously it lived under communism for a long time,

28:08so your conception of individualism is different,

28:12and that reflects itself in the language.

28:14You could probably have a similar kind of thing

28:18within the language in terms of how we talk about I

28:21and we and so on, and I'm sure there's certain countries,

28:26or maybe even villages with certain dialects

28:29that let go of the individualism that's inherent in I.

28:34- Yeah, I mean, there must be a range,

28:36but I do think that it's pretty deep,

28:38and I think there's also a difference

28:43between the autobiographical me

28:46and then this more fundamental me that we're talking about,

28:50or that I'm pointing to as the illusion.

28:52So in my book, I talk about if someone wakes up with amnesia,

28:57if they have brain injury and suddenly have amnesia

29:01and can't remember anything about their lives,

29:04can't remember their name,

29:05don't recognize people they're related to,

29:07they would have lost their autobiographical self,

29:14but they would still feel like an I.

29:16They would still have that basic sense of I'm a person.

29:20I mean, they'd be speaking that way.

29:22I don't remember my name.

29:23I don't know where I live.

29:25It goes very deep, this feeling that I am a single entity

29:33that is somehow not completely reliant

29:38upon the cause and effect of the physical world.

29:41- Can I ask you a pothead question?

29:42- Yeah.

29:43- Would you rather lose all your memories

29:51or not be able to make new ones?

29:53Now I'm asking you as a human

29:57in terms of happiness and preference.

30:00- I can't answer that.

30:02- You like both?

30:03You like both features of the organism that you embody?

30:06- Well, one is intellectual and one is psychological,

30:09really.

30:10I mean, I would have to choose the memories

30:12only because, I mean, memories of the past,

30:15only because I have children and a family

30:18and it would just be, it wouldn't just be affecting me,

30:21it would be affecting them.

30:22It would just be too horrible.

30:24- No, but you would,

30:24there's a lot of people who are like,

30:26"Oh, I'm gonna be a psychologist."

30:27- It's horrible.

30:28- No, but you would make new ones, right?

30:31- If I lost my memory of the 13 years of my children's life?

30:36- You think you would lose, this is a dark question.

30:39- Oh, wait, wasn't that the question?

30:40Maybe I misunderstood.

30:41- No, no, no, no, you understood it perfectly, but.

30:43- Yeah.

30:44- Sorry for the dark question,

30:47but the people you love in your life,

30:49if you lost all your memory of everything,

30:52do you think you would still love them?

30:55Like you show up, you don't know.

30:56- I don't know.

30:57- It's a roll of the dice.

30:58- I mean, not in the way that I do.

30:59- Right.

31:00So some deep aspect of love is the history you have together.

31:04- Oh, absolutely.

31:05Well, and this gets to an interesting point, actually,

31:07which I think a lot about, which is memory.

31:10And we won't go into this yet,

31:12but I'll just plant a flag here that--

31:14- I love the song.

31:15- Memory is, yeah, memory is obviously related to time

31:19and time is something that I'm fascinated with

31:21and for this project I'm working on now,

31:23I've mostly been speaking to physicists

31:25who are interested in consciousness.

31:28And it's partly because of this link

31:30between memory and time and all of these

31:35new fascinating theories and thoughts

31:40around the different interpretations of quantum mechanics

31:44and looking at the thing that I've always been looking for

31:47is really the fundamental nature of reality

31:50and why my questions about consciousness

31:55lead me to wonder if consciousness

31:57is a more fundamental aspect of the universe

32:01than we previously thought

32:02and certainly I previously thought.

32:05And so memory, but memory is tied to so many things.

32:11I mean, even basic functions in nature.

32:14Actually, so the P-tendril, as I mentioned,

32:17memory comes into play there and that's so fascinating.

32:21And there is no sense of self without memory,

32:25even if you're starting from scratch,

32:27as you said with amnesia.

32:29If you truly couldn't lay down any new memories,

32:35I think you would, then that sense of self

32:37would begin to disintegrate

32:38because the sense of self is one of a concrete entity

32:43through time.

32:45And if each moment, if you really were stuck

32:49in the present moment eternally,

32:51you'd basically be meditating.

32:53(laughs)

32:54And in meditation, this is a very common experience

32:57is losing that sense of self, that sense of free will,

33:01that those illusions more easily drop away in meditation.

33:06And I would say for most people who meditate long enough,

33:10they do drop away.

33:11And there's actually an explanation

33:12at the level of the brain as well.

33:14The default mode network is circuitry in the brain

33:17that neuroscientists don't completely understand,

33:20but know is largely responsible

33:23for this feeling of being a self.

33:25And when that circuit gets quieted down,

33:29which it does in meditation

33:31and also does with the use of psychedelic drugs,

33:34and there are other ways to quiet down

33:37the default mode network,

33:39people have this experience of losing

33:44this illusion of being a self.

33:45They no longer feel that they're a self

33:47in the way that they usually do.

33:49- So there's the autobiographical self

33:52is connected to the sense of self.

33:56- Oh, absolutely, yeah. - Through the memory.

33:58And then you're thinking that the solution to that

34:01lies in physics, not just neuroscience.

34:03Like ultimately consciousness and the experience,

34:08the conscious will is a question of physics.

34:13- I may have said something misleading

34:16because I was connecting too many dots.

34:18- Half the things I say are misleading.

34:22Let us mislead each other.

34:24- I just got, I got excited when memory came up

34:26because I love talking about time.

34:29- So you mentioned a project

34:30you're working on a couple of times.

34:31What's that about?

34:32I think you said Ted is involved.

34:34You're interviewing a bunch of people.

34:35What's going on?

34:36What's the topic?

34:37- So I'm working on an audio documentary

34:41about consciousness,

34:43and it picks up where my book left off.

34:46So all of the questions that were still lingering for me

34:49and research that I still wanted to do,

34:52I just started conducting.

34:53So I've done about 30 interviews so far.

34:56And it's not totally clear what the end result will be.

35:00I'm currently collaborating with Ted

35:02and I'm having a lot of fun creating a pilot with them.

35:05And so we'll see where it goes.

35:08But the idea is that it's a narrated documentary.

35:11- And it's like a series.

35:12- A series, it'll be a 10 part series.

35:14- It's an unclear,

35:15oh, you already know the number of parts.

35:17- Sorry, in my mind, it's a 10 part series.

35:19It may end up being eight or 11 or 12.

35:21I don't know why.

35:22- Listen, I am very comforted by the number zero

§05Transcript · 35:24–43:41

35:24and one as well.

35:25- About 10.

35:26- I like the confidence of 10.

35:28So, and you're not sure what the title,

35:32like not the title, but the topic,

35:33will there be consciousness or something bigger

35:36or something smaller?

35:37- Yeah, I mean, it's my,

35:37so at the end of my book,

35:39I kind of get to the place where I've convinced myself,

35:43at least, that this question

35:44about whether consciousness is fundamental

35:46is a legitimate one.

35:48And then I just start spending a lot of time

35:51thinking about what that would mean,

35:53if it's even possible to study scientifically.

35:57So I mostly talk to physicists, actually,

35:59because I really think, ultimately,

36:02this is a question for physics,

36:04if consciousness is fundamental.

36:06I think it needs to be strongly informed by neuroscience,

36:09but it's, yeah, if it's part of the fabric of reality,

36:13it is a question for a physicist.

36:15So I speak to different physicists

36:17about different interpretations of quantum mechanics,

36:20so getting at the fundamentals.

36:21So string theory in many worlds.

36:24I spoke to Sean Carroll,

36:25had a great conversation with Sean Carroll.

36:26He's so generous,

36:28because he clearly doesn't agree with me about many things.

36:32But he has a curious mind,

36:34and he's willing to have these conversations.

36:35And I was really interested

36:37in understanding many worlds better,

36:39and if consciousness is fundamental,

36:42what the implications are.

36:43So that was where I started, actually,

36:46was with many worlds.

36:47And then we had conversations about string theory

36:51and the holographic principle.

36:54I spoke to Lee Smolin and Brian Green and Jan Eleven

36:59and Carlo Rovelli, actually.

37:00Have you had Carlo on?

37:01- No, no.

37:03- He's great also and fun to talk to,

37:05because he's just endlessly curious.

37:07- Yeah.

37:08- And you're doing audio.

37:09- It's all audio, yeah.

37:10But it's in the format of a documentary,

37:11so I'm narrating it.

37:13I'm kind of telling the story

37:14of what questions came up for me,

37:16what I was interested in exploring,

37:17and then why I talk to each person I talk to.

37:21- By the way, I highly recommend Sean Carroll's

37:23Mindscape podcast, I think it's called.

37:26- Yeah.

37:27- It's amazing.

37:28One of my favorite things,

37:29well, when he interviews physicists, it's great,

37:30but any topic, his aim is.

37:32But one of my favorite things

37:34is how frustrated he gets with panpsychism.

37:37(laughing)

37:38But he's still like, it's like a fly towards the light.

37:41- Yeah.

37:42- For some reason, he can't make sense of it,

37:44but he still struggles with it,

37:46and I think that's the sign of a good scientist,

37:50really struggling with these ideas.

37:53- I totally agree, and yes,

37:55that's what I appreciate in him

37:56and many scientists like that.

37:59- Who has the craziest, most radical ideas

38:02that you talk with currently?

38:03- So you can go either direction.

38:06You can go like panpsychism,

38:07consciousness permeates everything.

38:10- Yeah.

38:11- I don't know how far you can go down that direction.

38:14Or you could say that, you know,

38:17what would be the other direction?

38:19That there's a--

38:20- Well, there isn't really,

38:21the problem is they're all crazy.

38:22- They're all crazy.

38:23- And each one is crazier than the next.

38:24- All of us are crazy.

38:25- And my own, I mean, my own thoughts now,

38:27I have to be very careful about the words I choose

38:33because, I mean, it's just like talking about

38:37the different interpretations of quantum mechanics.

38:41It's once you get deep enough,

38:44it's so counterintuitive

38:46and it's so beyond anything we understand

38:49that they all sound crazy.

38:51Many worlds sounds crazy.

38:52String theory, I mean,

38:53these are things we just cannot get our minds around, really.

38:57And so that's kind of,

38:58that's the realm I love to live in and love to explore in.

39:03And the realm that, to my surprise,

39:06my interest in consciousness has taken me back to.

39:08- Can I ask you a question on that?

39:09- Yeah.

39:10- Just a side tangent.

39:12How do you prevent,

39:13when you're imagining yourself to be a petandroid,

39:16how do you prevent from going crazy?

39:18I mean, this is kind of the Nietzsche question of like,

39:21you have to be very careful

39:23thinking outside the norms of society

39:27because you might fall off.

39:28Like mentally, you're so connected as a human

39:31to the collective intelligence

39:34that in order to question intuitions,

39:36you have to step outside of it for a brief moment.

39:40How do you prevent yourself from going crazy?

39:42- I think I used to think that was a concern.

39:47- And then you became crazy.

39:48- I've learned so much about the brain.

39:50No, and I've had experiences of deep depression

39:54and I struggled with anxiety my whole life.

39:57I think in order to be a good scientist

40:01and in order to be a truthfully,

40:06let's say, to allow yourself to be curious

40:11and honest in your curiosity,

40:13I think it's inevitable that lots of ideas

40:17and theories and hypotheses will just sound crazy.

40:22And that is always how we've advanced science.

40:26And maybe nine out of 10 ideas are crazy

40:29and crazy meaning they're actually not correct.

40:33But all of, I mean, as I said,

40:37all of the big scientific breakthroughs,

40:39all of the truths we've uncovered

40:41that are the earth-shattering truths that we uncover,

40:46they really do sound crazy at first.

40:49So I don't think one necessarily leads

40:52to a type of mental illness.

40:54I see mental illness in a very different category.

40:57And I think some people are more susceptible

41:02to being destabilized by this type of thinking.

41:06And that might be a legitimate concern for some people,

41:09that kind of being grounded in everyday life

41:12is important for my psychological health.

41:15The more time I spend thinking about the bigger picture

41:19and outside of everyday life,

41:22the more happy I am, the more expansive I feel.

41:27I mean, it feels nourishing to me.

41:31It feels like it makes me more sane, not less.

41:34- Well, that's a happiness,

41:35but in terms of your ability to see the truth,

41:38you can be happy and completely--

41:42- I guess I don't see mental illness

41:43necessarily being linked to truth or not truth.

41:47- So we were talking about minimizing mental illness,

41:51but also truth is a different dimension.

41:54So you can go crazy in both directions.

41:57You could be extremely happy, and they are, flat earthers.

42:05You can believe the earth is flat.

42:07Because, I'm sure there's good books on this,

42:10but it's somehow really comforting.

42:12It's fun and comforting to believe you've figured out

42:16the thing that everybody else hasn't figured out.

42:19- I think that's what conspiracy theories

42:21always provide people.

42:23- Why is it so fun?

42:24It's so fun.

42:25It's, except when it's dangerous.

42:28But even then, it's probably fun.

42:31But then you shouldn't do it because it's unethical.

42:33Anyway, so--

42:35- It's not true, I'm not a fan of following.

42:37- Well, that makes one of us.

42:40I don't know.

42:42There is probably a fascinating story

42:44to why conspiracy theories are so compelling

42:48to us human beings as deeper than just fun internet stuff.

42:53- Yeah, I'm very interested in why they're so compelling

42:56to some people and not others.

42:57I feel like there must be some difference

42:59that at some point we'll be able to discover.

43:03- Yeah, yeah.

43:05- Because some people are just not susceptible to them,

43:08and some people are really drawn to them.

43:11- 'Cause I feel like the kind of thinking that allows

43:15for you to be open to conspiracy theories

43:18is also the kind of thinking that leads

43:20to brilliant breakthroughs in science.

43:23Sort of willingness to go to crazy land.

43:27Something that seems like crazy land.

43:28- That's interesting, I see it the opposite way.

43:30- Really?

43:31- Yeah.

43:32- So you don't see the connection

43:35between thinking the Earth is flat

43:38and coming up with special relativity?

43:41- Thinking the Earth is flat is following your intuitions

§06Transcript · 43:44–53:07

43:44and not being open to counterintuitive ideas.

43:49It's a very closed way of viewing things.

43:53Saying it's actually, it's not the way you feel.

43:54There's information that tells us

43:58there's something else going on.

43:59And that type of person will say,

44:01no, it's the way it feels to me.

44:04- No, no, no, but wait a minute.

44:06There's a mainstream narrative of science

44:09that says the Earth is round.

44:11- Right.

44:12- And I think a flat Earth,

44:16see I admire the very first step of a flat Earth.

44:19(Bridget laughs)

44:20I don't admire the full journey.

44:22But the first step is--

44:23- I think if you're open to evidence,

44:25then the evidence clearly takes you in one direction.

44:28- Right, but you have to ask the question.

44:30You have to ask, to me,

44:33this is like first principles thinking.

44:35- Yeah.

44:36- The Earth looks flat, so I'm gonna look around here.

44:40And I, like, how crazy is it

44:45that the Earth is round and there's a thing called gravity

44:49that operates between objects

44:51that's related to the mass of the object?

44:54- Right.

44:55- That's crazy.

44:56- Yes, the truth is often crazier

44:58than what the situation feels to be.

45:00- A good step is to question what everyone is saying

45:02and then you learn a little bit.

45:03- I know what you mean, to be skeptical about the,

45:06it's the authority factor.

45:07- Yeah, but I think that, and the authority

45:10in not in some kind of weird current

45:13where everyone questions institutions,

45:15but more like the authority of the senior scientists,

45:18the junior scientists coming up, wait a minute,

45:20why have we been doing things this way?

45:23And that first step, I feel like that rebelliousness

45:27or that open-mindedness or maybe like resistance to,

45:32maybe curiosity that is not a fact,

45:37not affected by whatever the mainstream science says

45:40of today.

45:41- Cass, I feel like mainstream science

45:44has never been mainstream and it's always a struggle

45:47for science to become mainstream.

45:48It's part of the reason why I started doing the work

45:50I did actually, helping scientists make their work

45:53more accessible is that it's usually not.

45:57- Yeah.

45:58- It's usually not.

45:59- Here's advice for scientists, be more interesting

46:02and much more important, be less arrogant.

46:05- So arrogance, there's very little money in science

46:09and so everyone is fighting for that money

46:11and they become more and more arrogant and siloed.

46:13I don't know why.

46:14- I will say that the scientists I know

46:17and some of them are very well-known,

46:19very famous scientists are the least arrogant people

46:21I've ever met.

46:22That scientists in general, their personalities

46:27are more open, more humble, more likely to say

46:33they just don't know because I've been involved a lot

46:36in the science writing and how the media portrays.

46:40So one of scientists, the scientific community's

46:45greatest frustration is how their work gets presented

46:49in the media and a lot of the time that is,

46:52I would say that's the main frustration

46:54is there's some new breakthrough, there's something

46:57and the scientists will be saying, we're not sure,

47:01it's gonna take five years and no one likes to write

47:04a story about something that may or may not be true,

47:06they think it's true, they're gonna take five years

47:08testing it and so the headline will be,

47:11neuroscientists discovered, they want this sensational

47:15and so I think the public often gets the false impression

47:20that the scientists are arrogant and I really don't find

47:25that to be the case and I've worked with all kinds

47:29of people, artists and my life path has taken a strange--

47:34- You've met some incredible people,

47:38you work with some incredible people.

47:40So let's, the crazy topic of free will, I mean,

47:44I just, we have to link on this 'cause I can't.

47:47So the plant, all right, can you try to steel man the case

47:52that there's something really special about humans,

47:56that there's a fundamental difference between us

47:59and the petandral?

48:01You know, humans are clearly very special

48:04in the evolution of organisms on Earth.

48:08Could that have been the magic leap?

48:11Could consciousness been like the invention

48:15of the eukaryotic cell or something like this?

48:18- Well then, I mean, so I have to get clear

48:20on what you're asking.

48:21So are you coming from a place of wondering

48:26if we are the only conscious mammals?

48:29- Yes.

48:30- Do you really think that's a question?

48:33- Can you make a case for it?

48:34(laughing)

48:35- Do you really think that's a question?

48:38Take one step back.

48:39We look out at the universe.

48:40At this point in our scientific understanding,

48:46we know that essentially we're all made

48:48of the same ingredients, right?

48:50There are atoms in the universe doing their thing,

48:54they find themselves in different configurations

48:57based on the laws of physics.

48:58And then the question is, if we look out

49:03at all of the configurations of atoms in the universe

49:05and ask which of these entail conscious experiences,

49:10which of these have a felt experience

49:12of being the matter they are?

49:15And there are really only two, broadly speaking,

49:18there are really only two assumptions to make here.

49:22And the first one is the one that science has taken

49:27and that I have for most of my career as well

49:29and that in many ways makes the most sense,

49:32which is electrons aren't conscious,

49:35tables aren't, there's no felt experience there,

49:37but at a certain point in complex processing,

49:39that processing entails an experience

49:43of being that processing.

49:44Now that's just a fascinating fact all on its own

49:47and I love to spend time thinking about that.

49:50So the question is, does consciousness arise at some point?

49:53Are some of these collections of atoms conscious

49:57or are all of them?

49:59Because we know the answer isn't none.

50:01I know that I'm at least having a conscious experience,

50:04I know that conscious experiences exist in the universe.

50:07And so the answer isn't none,

50:11so the answer has to be all or some.

50:14And this is a starting assumption

50:17that you're really kind of forced to make

50:20and that it's all or some.

50:23- All or some or one.

50:24- I would say one is some also.

50:26We either need an explanation

50:27for why there's non-conscious matter in the universe

50:30and then something happens for consciousness

50:32to come into being,

50:33or it's part of the fundamental nature of reality.

50:37- It's also if consciousness is a fundamental property

50:42of reality, it could also choose to not reveal itself

50:45until a certain complexity of organism.

50:48- I'm not sure what that means.

50:51- I'm not sure what that means either.

50:52Like the flame of consciousness does not start burning

50:57until a certain complexity of organism is able to reveal it.

51:02- So I don't think we can look at consciousness that way.

51:04I don't think, I mean, many people like to try

51:07to make that argument that it's a spectrum.

51:09Why do we have to say all or nothing maybe?

51:12And I agree that I actually think it is a spectrum,

51:15but it's a spectrum of content,

51:17not of consciousness itself.

51:19So if a worm has some level of conscious experience,

51:23it is extremely minimal,

51:25something we could never imagine

51:27being having the complex experience you and I have.

51:31Maybe some felt sensation of pressure or heat

51:35or something super basic, right?

51:37So there's this range,

51:38or even if you just think of an infant,

51:40like the first, the moment an infant becomes conscious,

51:42what that, there's a very, very minimal experience

51:45of inputs of sound and light and whatever it is.

51:48And so there's a spectrum of content.

51:51There's a spectrum of how much a system

51:55is consciously experiencing,

51:57but there's a moment at which you get on the spectrum.

52:01And that's, and I truly believe that,

52:03that piece of it is binary.

52:05So if there's no conscious experience,

52:08there is no consciousness.

52:10You can't say consciousness is there,

52:11it just hasn't lit its flame yet.

52:13If consciousness is there,

52:14there's an experience there by definition.

52:16It has to arise at some point,

52:17or it has to always be there.

52:18- Is it possible to make the case

52:21that that arising happens first,

52:26for the first time ever with Homo sapiens?

52:30- I think that is extremely unlikely.

52:33What I think is more possible

52:37based on what we understand about the brain

52:39is that it arises in brains or nervous systems.

52:44And so then we're talking about flies and bees

52:52and all kinds of things that kind of fall out of our,

52:55our intuitions for whether they could be conscious or not.

52:59But I think, especially once you talk about

53:04more complex brains with many, many more neurons,

53:07when you're talking about cats and dogs and dolphins,

§07Transcript · 53:10–1:02:44

53:10it's very hard to see how there would be a difference

53:16between humans and other mammals in terms of consciousness.

53:21- Was there a difference in terms of intelligence

53:24between humans and other mammals?

53:26- Sure.

53:27- Not like a fundamental leap in intelligence?

53:29- It's hard to say definitively.

53:30I mean, it depends on how you define intelligence

53:35and all kinds of things,

53:37but obviously humans are unique and capable

53:39of all kinds of things that no other mammals are capable of.

53:43And there are important differences.

53:45And I don't think you need any magical intervention

53:50of something outside of the physical world to explain it.

53:53And the way I think about consciousness,

53:56I actually think it's part of the reason

53:58we're mistaken about consciousness,

54:01is because we are special in the ways that we're special.

54:05And because we're complex creatures,

54:08we have these complex brains.

54:10So I think we should probably get into some of the details

54:12of why I think we're confused about what consciousness is.

54:16But just to finish this point,

54:18I think that we don't actually have any evidence

54:23that consciousness is complex,

54:26that it comes out of complex processing,

54:28that it's required for complex processing.

54:31And I think we've made this anthropomorphic mistake

54:36because we are conscious and it's very hard to get evidence.

54:41It's one of the things that makes consciousness

54:43unique and mysterious and why I'm fascinated with it

54:46is it's the one thing in nature

54:48that we can't get conclusive evidence of from the outside.

54:52We can by analogy, you know,

54:53you're behaving basically the same way I behave,

54:57more or less.

54:58You talk about your conscious experiences

55:00and therefore I just extrapolate from that,

55:03that you're having a felt experience in the way I am

55:06and we can do that throughout nature.

55:08Well, there's no physical evidence.

55:09There's nothing we can observe from the outside

55:11that will give us conclusive proof

55:13that consciousness is there.

55:15And so I think we've made this leap to,

55:19because we're conscious and because we're unique and special

55:23and complex and intelligent in the way that we are

55:28and because we don't have an intuition

55:32that anything else is conscious

55:34or we have no feedback about it,

55:37we've made this assumption that consciousness,

55:41that those things aren't conscious

55:42and felt experience does not exist out there

55:45in other atoms and forms of life even,

55:49but especially not inanimate objects.

55:52And therefore consciousness is somehow tied

55:57to these other things that make us unique.

56:01That consciousness arises

56:05when there is this complex processing.

56:08When there is, and there's,

56:09we can talk about the evolution argument too,

56:11which I think is super interesting to get into

56:12and I'm hoping to talk to Richard Dawkins

56:15about this for my series.

56:16- What's he think about consciousness?

56:18- He's not interested.

56:19(laughing)

56:20He's not interested in actually the conversation

56:22I would have with him would be very brief

56:23because he's just not that interested in this topic.

56:26But let's go back to the Richard Dawkins piece

56:29'cause I feel like there's a lot to talk about here

56:31in terms of our intuitions about consciousness,

56:33what it's doing, why in my book

56:35and everywhere I talk about consciousness,

56:38I bring it back to these two questions

56:40that I think are at the heart of our intuitions

56:42about consciousness.

56:43And so your questions about whether human beings

56:46are unique and special and all of that

56:48I think are interesting questions

56:50and something we could talk about.

56:51I see them as separate questions

56:53from the consciousness questions.

56:55- So you see consciousness as giving a felt experience

56:59to our uniqueness as opposed to the uniqueness

57:02giving birth to consciousness.

57:03- Yes, and that potentially there is felt experience

57:06even though it sounds crazy even to me

57:08that there is felt experience in all matter.

57:12And at this point in my thinking

57:14and after a few conversations with some physicists

57:16I think if consciousness is fundamental

57:19the only thing that actually makes sense

57:21is that it is part of the most fundamental

57:25that space, time and everything else emerges out of.

57:30- Out of consciousness.

57:30- Felt experience is just part of the fabric of reality.

57:35- So is it possible to intuit this?

57:37Can we start by thinking about dogs and cats,

57:40go to the plants and then going all the way to matter

57:43or is this going to be like modern physics

57:45where it's just going to be impossible to even,

57:47through our reason alone.

57:50We're gonna have to have tools of some kind.

57:52- I think it'll be a little bit of both.

57:54I mean I think the science has a very long way to go

57:57and the truth is I don't even think we can get

57:59to the science yet because we have to do this work

58:02and this is why I'm so passionate about this work.

58:04And it's really taking hold.

58:09I mean there are scientists, neuroscientists and physicists

58:12interested in consciousness and kind of having gotten

58:16over the initial obstacle of wrestling with these intuitions

58:21so that it's now being talked about in a serious way

58:26which was the first huge hurdle.

58:28But I think a lot more of that has to happen,

58:31a lot more of the intuition breaking

58:35from the science we already have.

58:38I mean I think we almost need to catch our intuitions up

58:40to what we already know and then continue to break through

58:46these intuitions systematically so that we can really think

58:49more clearly about consciousness.

58:51There are a couple of scientists now working on theories

58:56of consciousness which do go, they don't quite go

59:00to the fundamental level but they go extremely deep

59:03so that something like an electron might be conscious

59:06under their theory.

59:07This is integrated information theory, IIT

59:11with Christophe Koch and Giulio Tononi.

59:15I've spoken to both of them.

59:17I spoke to Christophe Koch once or twice

59:21for this project I'm working on now.

59:23What they're working on is incredibly interesting to me

59:27and I think very important work.

59:29However, I think they are also really led

59:35by some false intuitions about self and free will.

59:40And I think that will be a limit to their work

59:42so we can get into that but--

59:44- Let's go.

59:45- I'll tell you what.

59:46- Christophe Koch is awesome.

59:48- Which is that what they're working on I think

59:52is the most important next step forward

59:54which is just even being open to the fact

59:57that consciousness goes as deep as particles.

60:00- And being rigorous.

60:01- But even their theory isn't going as deep

60:04as I think we need to go.

60:07And it's hard to say how we could actually study

60:09this scientifically but that's part of the reason

60:11why I'm such a supporter of IIT and why I'm so interested

60:13in what they're doing even though I think they're wrong

60:16is because they're opening this path

60:20and I think they're getting more people interested

60:22and I think, yeah, it's hard for me to imagine

60:27what the science will actually look like.

60:30- Okay, so your intuition or at least the direction

60:33which you're pushing is that consciousness

60:36is the only fundamental thing in the universe

60:39that everything else, time, all those kinds of things

60:44emerge from that.

60:45- I will say that what I believe at this point,

60:51I've been saying 50/50 for a long time,

60:54I'd say now it's like 51/49 in terms of consciousness

60:58being emergent versus fundamental.

61:01So I am not convinced of this at all.

61:05I'm not convinced that consciousness is fundamental.

61:07What I think is there are very good reasons

61:10to think it could be and essentially all of science

61:15up to this point has been led by the other assumption,

61:20by the first assumption that consciousness arises

61:23at some point, namely in brains,

61:26and that's where all the science has gone

61:27and I think that's wonderful and I think it should

61:29keep on going and I actually think that was

61:30a more important place to start.

61:33But I think there's a possibility that the correct assumption

61:36is that it's fundamental and so that's the science I support,

61:40that's the thing I spend a lot of my time thinking about

61:42and talking to scientists and philosophers about

61:45and so I shouldn't give the idea that I actually

61:50have crossed over into believing this is the case,

61:52but it's the assumption I follow in my work at this point.

61:56- It's a possibility, an understudied possibility,

61:59so it deserves serious, rigorous attention.

62:02- And there are good reasons to start with that assumption

62:05versus the other that I think we're just now

62:08starting to realize.

62:10- So just to clarify, when we're talking about consciousness

62:13we're talking about the heart problem of consciousness,

62:15that it feels like something to,

62:17there's a subjective experience.

62:20Do we, if consciousness permeates all matter,

62:27it's fundamental, is that going to be somehow,

62:31is our current intuition about consciousness,

62:34like the very tiny subset of what consciousness

62:39actually is, so like we have our intuitions

62:42about personal experiences, like what it feels like,

62:44what it tastes to eat a cookie or something like that.

§08Transcript · 1:02:47–1:12:20

62:47But that seems like a very specific implementation

62:54of consciousness in an organism,

62:57so how can we even reason about something that's,

63:00if consciousness is fundamental,

63:02how can we reason about that?

63:04- I'm not sure I'm understanding the connection

63:07between those two things, but--

63:09- When you think about what it's like to be a plant

63:11to experience a thing, okay, we can kind of get that,

63:14we can kind of understand that.

63:15- There are a lot of places we could go with this.

63:16One is, there is actually work being done

63:19by people like David Eagleman, he's a neuroscientist,

63:21I don't know if you know him.

63:22You should talk to him for your podcast if you haven't,

63:24he's wonderful, great science communicator.

63:26He's someone I interviewed for my current project too.

63:29So he's done, this actually, okay,

63:32there are many places we can go.

63:34One is, he does work with sensory addition,

63:37sensory substitution, and this is going

63:41in some very interesting directions

63:43and maybe partly answers your question,

63:46which is giving humans qualia, sensory experiences

63:51that we're not wired for,

63:53that human beings have never had before.

63:55You let me know what you're most interested

63:57in hearing about.

63:58We can talk about things like the brain port.

64:01There was actually a study done,

64:03I just talked to one of the participants in the study

64:05where they were seeing if they could give human beings

64:08an experience of magnetic north.

64:10So other animals have this sense that we don't have

64:15where they can feel intuitively the way that our eyes work

64:19to give us an intuitive sense of our environment.

64:21We don't have to translate the information coming in

64:25through our eyes, we just have a map of the external world

64:28and we can navigate it.

64:30So many animals use a sense of magnetic north

64:33to get around and it's an intuitive sense.

64:37So I spoke to someone who was in this part

64:39of this experiment and it was fascinating

64:43to hear him acquire a sense, not only that he had never had,

64:48but that no human being had ever had.

64:50So when I asked him to describe the experience,

64:52it was challenging for him and understandably so,

64:56because it would be like you describing sight

64:59to someone who's never seen.

65:00But this is clearly possible and scientists

65:05like David Eagleman and others are working on these.

65:09And so I do think it's possible that this line,

65:13that these scientific advancements may actually start

65:18to dovetail with the consciousness research

65:23in terms of being able to experience things

65:28we've never experienced before.

65:32But I do think that at some level, yes,

65:34we're limited as human beings.

65:37We may be able to find some proof or enough proof

65:41to at least assume that consciousness is fundamental

65:45or who knows, one day actually believe

65:48that that's the correct scientific view of things

65:51and not really be able to get our minds around that

65:54or to understand what it means

65:56and certainly not to know what it feels like.

65:59I mean, we don't even know what it feels like

66:01to be other creatures.

66:03- Maybe we'll be--

66:04- I don't know what it's like to be you.

66:05(laughing)

66:07- Yeah, I mean, I guess that's what empathy is about.

66:13That's why I tried to exercise,

66:15try to imagine what it's like to be other people.

66:17And then you're doing that even farther--

66:19- P tendrils. - With P tendrils.

66:21But perhaps we can do that thing more rigorously

66:25by connecting different sensory mechanisms to the brain

66:29to do that for all kinds of organisms on Earth.

66:32But they're similar to us in scale

66:34and the time at which they function,

66:36the time scale and the spatial scale.

66:39Perhaps it's much more difficult to do

66:40for electrons and so on.

66:42- Some of the intuitions I talked about,

66:44I mean, I just kind of, I'm taking them for granted

66:47that you and everyone knows what I'm talking about.

66:49But in terms of the science, in terms of the studies,

66:54understanding things like binding processes,

66:57understanding just a little bit about how the brain works

67:01and as far as we understand.

67:03And there's just a ton of evidence now to support

67:06that our conscious experience is at the tail end

67:10of a lot of brain processing.

67:12- So she tells a story.

67:15- Yeah, so just a little bit.

67:17I mean, I give in the example in my book,

67:19I talk about tennis and the binding of the sights

67:23and sounds and felt experience of hitting a tennis ball,

67:27which in the world are happening at different times.

67:29The rates it takes, the sound waves and the light waves

67:34and the felt sensation to travel to my brain are different.

67:39There are these binding processes that happen

67:43prior to the conscious experience

67:47that were essentially delivered to us by the brain.

67:50And so we can get back into this.

67:55I can answer your bigger question first,

67:57but I feel like for a lot of people to understand

68:01some of the science that already is shattering

68:05some of our intuitions about the role consciousness plays,

68:08I think is helpful in terms of being able to be open

68:12to thinking about these other ideas.

68:14- Let's go there.

68:15Where the heck does consciousness happen

68:18in what we understand about the brain timing-wise?

68:20I mean, this connects to conscious will, too,

68:23our experience of free will.

68:25- Yeah, there is this period of time,

68:28and it's depending on the situation and the behavior,

68:33it can be anywhere from, it's essentially half a second.

68:36There's 200 milliseconds.

68:38I actually don't know, I was gonna compare it

68:40to the timing of syncing film and sound.

68:42I don't know if you know this data.

68:44- Unfortunately, I know this very well.

68:46- You do?

68:47- The film and sound?

68:48- Yeah, like how the timing has to work

68:52so that we conscious, so that our experiences of it

68:54happening at the same time.

68:56- Let me just sit in the silence of it.

69:00There's been so much pain on this one point.

69:03- Sorry, I had no idea. - So much suffering.

69:06So, I mean, yeah, I did a lot of algorithms

69:10on automatic synchronization of audio and video

69:13and all these kinds of things.

69:14So I know this well.

69:15There's a lot of science and there's a lot of differences,

69:18but it's about, and people claim it's about 100 milliseconds

69:23and you can't tell the difference,

69:24but it's much more like 30 to 50 milliseconds.

69:27And you can go nuts trying to see

69:31if something is in sync or not.

69:33Is it in sync or not?

69:34- Well, also, you know--

69:35- Am I out of sync right now?

69:36- Your brain is constantly making adjustments,

69:38and so it can shift for you while you're doing that,

69:42which is probably part of the thing

69:43that's driving you crazy.

69:44Okay, so I'll start with binding processes

69:47and then I'll just give a couple examples.

69:50So yes, there's this window where your brain

69:54is essentially putting all of the information together

69:59to deliver you a present moment experience

70:02that is most useful for you to navigate the world.

70:05So as I said, I use this example of tennis in my book.

70:11So the sights and sounds are coming at us

70:14at different rates.

70:16It takes longer for a sensation in my hand

70:20when I hit the ball with the racket to travel to my brain

70:25than it does for the light waves to hit my retina

70:28and get processed by the brain.

70:30So all these signals are coming in at different times.

70:33Our brains go through this process of binding

70:36to basically weave it all together

70:38so that our conscious experience of that

70:41is of seeing, hearing, and feeling the ball

70:44hit the racket all at the same time.

70:45That's obviously most useful to us.

70:49Binding is mostly about timing.

70:51It can be about other things,

70:52but I was just talking to David Eagleman

70:54who was talking about a very simple experiment, actually,

70:57and this kind of shows how your brain

71:00is basically always interacting with the outside world

71:03and always making adjustments to make its best guess

71:06about the most useful present moment experience to deliver.

71:11So this is a very simple experiment.

71:14This is from many, many years ago,

71:16and David Eagleman was involved in this research

71:20where they had participants hit a button

71:23and that button caused a flash of light.

71:25And so our brains, through binding,

71:33the brain, it notices, is able to kind of calibrate

71:38the experience you have because the brain is aware

71:41that it is its own hand that is causing the light to flash,

71:44that there's this cause and effect going on,

71:46and so you have this experience of pushing the button

71:51that causes the flash of light, which is true,

71:53and the light flashes.

71:55You can start to introduce longer pauses,

71:59starting with 20 milliseconds, 30 milliseconds,

72:01going up to, I think, 100, maybe even 200 milliseconds,

72:05where if you do it gradually,

72:07since your brain is making the adjustment,

72:09you can introduce a delay.

72:12I think it's up to 200 milliseconds.

72:14If you do it gradually, you will still have the experience,

72:18even though there's now a delay

72:20between when you hit the button and the light flashes,

§09Transcript · 1:12:22–1:22:25

72:22you will still have the exact same experience you had

72:25initially, which is that the light flashes

72:27right when you push the button.

72:28In your experience, nothing is changing.

72:31But then, so they gradually give a delay.

72:35You've acclimated to that because it was done gradually.

72:39If they then go back to the original instantaneous flash,

72:43your brain doesn't have time to make the adjustment,

72:47and you have the experience that the light flashed

72:51before you hit the button.

72:52And that is your true experience.

72:54It's not like you're confused, but that is,

72:56your brain didn't have time to make that adjustment.

72:59You think you're in the same environment.

73:01You're pushing the button, it makes the light flash.

73:03It's kind of calibrating all the time.

73:06But then the participants are suddenly saying,

73:09"Oh wait, that was so weird.

73:10"The light flashed before I hit the button."

73:12And so these-- - That's crazy.

73:16- They built a Rochambeau,

73:21rock, paper, scissors computer game

73:24that was unbeatable based on this glitch

73:27that you can present in binding by training someone.

73:30If you introduce a delay slowly enough,

73:33then the computer can get the information

73:36before it responds, but you still have the experience

73:40that you're both throwing out your rock or paper,

73:45scissors at the same time.

73:46But in actuality, the computer saw your choice

73:51before it makes its choice.

73:53And it's in this window of milliseconds

73:55where you don't notice it.

73:57- So that starts to help you build up an intuition

74:00that this conscious experience is an illusion

74:04constructed by the brain after--

74:06- Conscious will. - Conscious will.

74:07- Yeah, and just in general that consciousness

74:11is not the thing that we feel it is,

74:14which is driving the behavior

74:17that is actually at the tail end of it.

74:19And so a lot of decision-making processes,

74:21and there are studies that are more controversial,

74:23and I don't usually like to cite them,

74:26although if you wanna talk about them, we can.

74:27They're super interesting and intuition-shattering.

74:29But there are now studies specifically about free will

74:33to see if there are markers at the level of the brain

74:36that can see what decision you're going to make

74:39and when you make that decision.

74:40And I think the neuroscience inevitably

74:44is just going to get better.

74:45And so part of the reason I'm so passionate about this,

74:49I mean, there's the science and there's just the curiosity

74:52that drives me of wanting to understand

74:55how the universe works.

74:56But I actually see a lot of the neuroscience

75:00presenting us with truths that are going to be difficult

75:05for us to accept.

75:07And I actually think there are really positive ways

75:11to view these truths that we're uncovering.

75:15And even though they can be initially kind of jarring

75:18and even destabilizing and creepy,

75:21I think ultimately there's actually a lot,

75:26it can have a positive effect on human psychology

75:30and a whole range of things

75:32that I and others have experienced.

75:34And that I think it's important for us to talk about

75:37because you can't hide from the truth,

75:40especially in science, right?

75:41Like it just, it will reveal itself.

75:44And if this is true, I think not only

75:48for better understanding the universe and nature,

75:51which is kind of my primary passion,

75:54it's important for us to absorb these facts

75:59and realize that they don't,

76:04it doesn't necessarily take away the things

76:07from us that we fear.

76:08I've heard people say, as we talked about,

76:12common point to make or question to ask a scientist,

76:15can you still enjoy chocolate

76:18if you're a molecular biologist?

76:20And is it a molecular biologist

76:23that would be the one who would understand

76:25how we experience chocolate?

76:26(laughing)

76:27I may have the wrong sign.

76:28- Yeah.

76:29- But anyway, if you-- - But the point stands.

76:31- If you're focused on the details

76:33of the underlying nature of reality,

76:36does that take the joy and the pleasure

76:39and for lack of a better word, spirituality,

76:44out of our experience as human beings?

76:47And I actually think for these illusions

76:50like free will and self, the reverse is true.

76:53I actually think they can give us,

76:55they are reasons and bases for feeling more connected

77:00to each other and to the universe,

77:03for spiritual experiences,

77:06for even just on a more basic level,

77:11for increasing our wellbeing,

77:14just in terms of our psychology

77:16of lowering rates of depression and anxiety.

77:19And actually I think these realizations

77:21can be extremely helpful to people.

77:25- Well, it's like realizing that the universe

77:29doesn't rotate around Earth,

77:31that the Earth is not the center of the universe

77:33is a really challenging thought.

77:35- Well, and people were worried

77:36about how that would affect society.

77:38- Well, yes, that's like long-term,

77:40but short-term, I bet you the number of people

77:43who had an existential crisis

77:45as it got integrated into society,

77:48that thought is huge.

77:49It's like, it's a hard one.

77:51And you're saying--

77:52- But it can't, but it's also a source of awe.

77:55And I mean, so many people now use that fact

78:00to inspire a positive response,

78:06to inspire creativity and curiosity and awe

78:13and all of these things that are so useful

78:18for human wellbeing.

78:19- Where's the source of meaning

78:20when you're not the center of the universe,

78:24when the you doesn't even exist?

78:27That even you, the sense of self

78:30and the sense of decision-making is an illusion.

78:35- The truth is that for the most part,

78:37the sense of self is kind of at the core of human suffering

78:43because it feels as if we are separate

78:47from the rest of nature.

78:48We're separate from each other.

78:49We're separate from the illusion that I referenced

78:54of feeling like we have these thoughts

78:58that are brain-based thoughts,

78:59but then the I swoops in to make a decision.

79:03In some sense, it goes so deep

79:05that it's as if the I is separate from the physical world.

79:11That separation plays a part in depression,

79:14plays a part in anxiety, even plays a part in addiction.

79:18So at the level of the brain,

79:20I think, stop me if I'm repeating myself,

79:22but we started talking about the default mode network.

79:25And so we actually know that when the default mode network

79:30is quieted down, when people lose a sense of self

79:33in meditation and on psychedelic drugs in therapy,

79:38there is a feeling that people describe

79:41of an extremely positive feeling

79:44of being connected to the rest of nature.

79:48And so that's a piece of it that I think

79:50if you haven't had the experience,

79:52you wouldn't necessarily know that would be a part of it.

79:56But truly having that insight

79:59that you're not the self you feel you are,

80:01immediately your experiences are embedded in the universe

80:07and you are a piece of everything

80:11and you see that everything is interconnected.

80:14And so rather than feeling like a lonely I

80:17in this bigger universe,

80:18there's a sense of being a part

80:23of something larger than yourself.

80:25And this is intrinsically positive for human beings.

80:30And even just in our everyday lives and choices

80:32and what we do for work,

80:34feeling part of something larger than yourself

80:37is the way people describe spiritual experiences

80:41and the way many positive psychological states are framed.

80:46And so there's that piece of it.

80:50- There is something,

80:51so there's one giant hug with the universe,

80:53everything in it.

80:56But there is some sense in which

81:00we attach the search for meaning

81:04with the I, with the ego.

81:08And it could almost seem like life is meaningless.

81:14Our existence, our I, my existence is meaningless.

81:18- I think you can kind of go there under any worldview.

81:21- Right. - Really.

81:22- Right. - And the truth is

81:25we want to find a truth

81:29out of that downward spiral

81:32and not a story that we have to tell ourselves

81:37that isn't true.

81:40And the fact is we have these facts available to us

81:44that with the right framing and the right context,

81:49looking at the truth actually provides us

81:54with that psychological feeling we're searching for.

81:57And I think that's important to point out.

81:59- I think humans are fascinatingly good

82:03at finding beauty in truth

82:06no matter how painful the truth is.

82:07So yes. - Yes, I totally agree.

82:09Yes.

82:10But in this case, I think there are,

82:14the concerns are legitimate concerns

82:22and I have them myself for how people respond.

82:25I've actually had people tell me

§10Transcript · 1:22:27–1:33:07

82:27they had to stop reading my book halfway through

82:29because the parts on free will were so upsetting to them.

82:34And this is something I think about a lot

82:38because that kind of breaks my heart.

82:41I don't, because I see this potential

82:48for these realizations bringing

82:52levels of wellbeing that many people don't have access to.

82:57I think it's important to talk about them

83:01in ways that override what can be an initial fear

83:06or kind of spooky quality

83:11that can come out of these realizations.

83:13- So at the end of that journey,

83:14there's a clarity and an appreciation of beauty

83:18that if you just write it out.

83:20By the way, if you wanna read upsetting,

83:22I just gotten through the boy,

83:26the four books if you wanna read upsetting.

83:29So my audible is hilarious.

83:31So there's conscious in it.

83:33And then, so your book.

83:35And then it has "The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich",

83:38"Bloodlands" by Timothy Snyder,

83:43probably the most upsetting book I've ever read.

83:45If you wanna, 'cause it's not just Stalin or Hitler,

83:48it's Stalin and Hitler.

83:50It's the worst hits, the opposite of the best hits.

83:53It's really, really, really well written, really difficult.

83:57I read Solzhenitsyn's "Gulag Archipelago"

84:03and what else, "Red Famine", which is,

84:07and "Apple Bomb", does that hurt?

84:11Yeah, anyway, so those are truly upsetting.

84:14And those are a lot of times the results

84:19of hiding the truth versus pursuing the truth.

84:23So truth in the short term might hurt,

84:26but it did ultimately set us free.

84:29- I believe that.

84:30And I also think whatever the truth is,

84:34we have to find a way to maintain civil society

84:39and love and all the things that are important to us.

84:42- If we can jump around a little bit,

84:43can I just ask on a personal note,

84:45because you said you've suffered from depression

84:47and there's a lot of people that see guidance

84:50on this topic 'cause it's such a difficult one.

84:52How were you able to, when it has struck you,

84:57how were you able to overcome it?

84:59- Yeah, I mean, this is maybe too long an answer.

85:02So I've experienced it in different forms.

85:05So it was my, I would say my depression

85:08has almost always mostly taken the form of anxiety.

85:13I didn't realize how anxious I was,

85:18I think until I was an adult.

85:19So I was always very functional.

85:21I think all the positive sides of suffering in that way.

85:27I think I'm a little OCD as you can tell.

85:31- And this whole conversation is hilarious

85:34'cause we're both suffered to some level of anxiety.

85:37- Your psychology is just laid out in front of us here.

85:39- It's a giant mess.

85:41- We're the same kind of human.

85:42- It's great.

85:44- Just trying to organize.

85:46- Hold on like the Tom Waits song.

85:48- But then I suffered from postpartum depression

85:53after both of my daughters, after both pregnancies.

85:56That was a very different experience

85:59from anything I've ever experienced,

86:01but clearly I had a predisposition

86:03towards suffering from something like that.

86:07Anyway, it really wasn't until I fully recovered

86:11from the second experience of postpartum depression

86:15that I realized

86:16that I had been suffering on some level my whole life.

86:23And I think I always knew,

86:25I thought of myself as a very sensitive person,

86:27an empathic person.

86:29I mean, I've been in therapy for 10 years.

86:32I knew I had a lot of anxiety.

86:37I would never have denied that I had a lot of anxiety.

86:40I just didn't realize it crossed over into

86:44a disorder really until I was an adult

86:48and ended up taking Prozac.

86:51I took an SSRI for postpartum

86:54and it was fascinating to me.

86:58I ended up interviewing my psychiatrist

87:00because I was so fascinated in the whole thing

87:02once I was on the other side of it,

87:04just what I had been through,

87:05how different I felt during that period of time,

87:08and then how quickly the medication

87:10made me feel like myself again.

87:13I had come out the other side

87:14of the experience of postpartum

87:16and was going to start tapering off the medication.

87:21And in this window

87:24where I no longer had postpartum depression

87:26and hadn't yet gone off the SSRI,

87:32I realized that life was not only a lot easier

87:37than when I had postpartum,

87:39but it was easier than it had ever been.

87:42And it took taking all of that anxiety away

87:47to recognize how much I had been grappling with it

87:53my entire life.

87:55And it first started coming in the form of realizations

87:58like, oh, is this how other people,

88:01is this how other people feel?

88:03Is this how that,

88:04like the things that I just always thought of myself,

88:06I'm really sensitive,

88:08I'm an introvert, I need a lot of time to myself.

88:12And all of these things that I felt like,

88:14I mean, it's always very high functioning.

88:18And in some ways, I was a professional dancer

88:20and I think that was the type of therapy for me.

88:22There was the obsessing over

88:25the training and dancing nine hours a day.

88:31And all of that, I now look back on

88:33and see how much that was therapeutic for me.

88:38And that I was kind of treating something,

88:41but yeah, it was just this experience

88:44of treating an anxiety disorder

88:48that caused me to realize that I had one.

88:51I didn't know I could feel the way I felt

88:54after taking Prozac.

88:56And I became very interested in,

88:57I mean, I was already working with neuroscientists,

89:00I was always already interested in consciousness

89:02in the brain and it just,

89:05this kind of rattled other intuitions for me

89:08in terms of how our childhoods shape who we become.

89:13Because I had been convinced,

89:18my father was--

89:20- He's a complicated person, as you said before.

89:23- That's what I was just gonna say again.

89:25But I think, I mean, so he was not diagnosed,

89:28I think he had borderline personality disorder

89:32and was emotionally abusive.

89:35And I thought that all of the ways I experienced the world

89:39and all of my anxiety and my sensitivities,

89:41I thought almost all of that, if not all of that

89:46was because of these experiences I had growing up

89:48and trauma that I experienced as a child.

89:51And obviously those things play a part,

89:53but what I realized after going through postpartum

89:57and then the thing that was extremely informative to me

90:00was having my own children.

90:02Because they were basically living my dream childhood.

90:08They had none of the things that I thought were the cause

90:11of the psychological suffering that I experienced.

90:14There was none of that and they have a lot of the same,

90:20they struggle with a lot of the same anxiety

90:23and panic attacks.

90:24And what I realized was how much we're kind of born

90:29into the world with these things that we struggle with

90:34and with our strengths and with all of that.

90:36And of course, then if you have an abusive childhood,

90:39if you're someone who tends to be anxious and sensitive

90:44and empathic, and then you're born into an abusive situation

90:48that's obviously a terrible combination.

90:51But I never acknowledged or realized how strong

90:55just the genetics and the wiring played.

91:00- Where's the line between you kind of accepting

91:04the challenges you're born with,

91:06and this is what life will be,

91:08versus then figuring out that life can be somehow different?

91:13- I think they're part of the same process.

91:16And I think it's kind of necessary to be aware

91:21and kind of necessary to accept what you're experiencing

91:26and what the situation is and how you feel

91:30and the types of thoughts and patterns you tend toward

91:35in order to make whatever changes can be made.

91:38So I do think it's kind of part of the same process.

91:41- Could life have been any different?

91:43I mean, do you regret certain aspects of the decisions made?

91:48Not by you.

91:49- I mean, it depends on what level we're talking.

91:52I think at a fundamental level,

91:54I don't believe anything could be different.

91:56- Are you able to think at that level about your own life?

92:00- Sure, and that's actually, that's part of what I was,

92:02when I wanted to kind of talk a little bit

92:04about the levels of usefulness of being aware

92:09of these different illusions,

92:11because I would say most of the time in our daily lives,

92:15the types of illusions that I'm interested in shaking up

92:18are not useful to remind ourselves of most of the time.

92:23I really think there are different levels of usefulness

92:27to thinking about and reminding ourselves

92:31of the places where we have false intuitions.

92:34And so I often use the analogy of living on a sphere.

92:39So it still feels to most of us most of the time,

92:47I mean, our intuitive sense,

92:48we're not thinking about whether the earth is flat

92:50or a sphere, but we behave as if it's flat.

92:54And that makes the most sense.

92:56And it would be exhausting to keep reminding ourselves

93:01as we walk down the street, like it feels flat,

93:03but it's not flat.

93:04Like there's just no reason to do,

93:07it's not useful in that moment.

§11Transcript · 1:33:09–1:42:51

93:09If you're building a house,

93:10you can build it as if the world is flat.

93:12And, but you know, of course,

93:15so there are psychological reasons to bring it into view

93:19and maybe even spiritual reasons to bring it into view.

93:21And then there's just like usefulness.

93:23So if you're building a rocket to the moon,

93:26you better understand the geometry of the earth.

93:30Even if you're flying an airplane,

93:32if you're an airplane pilot,

93:33you have to be aware of the truth of our situation.

93:37And then I think there are other places

93:38where it's interesting to remind ourselves

93:41is where I start out my book.

93:44Just as a way to inspire awe

93:48and to get yourself out of your everyday life

93:51and see the big picture, which can be just a relief,

93:56but also helps you feel more connected to the universe

94:00and to something larger than ourselves.

94:03And so I see these intuitions,

94:07reminding ourselves that these intuitions

94:10are illusions in the same way,

94:11that most of the time they're not useful.

94:14They are useful if we want to think

94:16about a science of consciousness.

94:19They're useful for a whole range

94:20of neuroscientific studies.

94:23And I think they can be incredibly useful

94:26in the same way that lying on the ground

94:29and feeling the gravity pushing you against a sphere

94:33and realizing you're floating in the middle of outer space,

94:36it gives me the same feeling to realize.

94:40And so I have, I mean, there's so many levels to it,

94:44but if I'm thinking about difficult things

94:48that I've experienced, different traumas in my life,

94:52when I take a step back and kind of get this bird's eye view

94:55of kind of the mystery of this unfolding of the universe

95:00and the fact that it happened the way it happened

95:04and whether it could have happened another way,

95:06there's no going back, that's the way it unfolded.

95:10And being able to surrender to that,

95:13I think is very psychologically healthy

95:17and prevents us from, I mean, I think regret

95:20is one of the most toxic loops we can get into.

95:25- So this is a path to acceptance.

95:28- Oh, absolutely, yeah.

95:30Because free will, I mean, I think part of what,

95:33the function of the experience of it is learning.

95:38I mean, I think we can still learn

95:39without being under the illusion that we have free will.

95:42- So for some people, depression can destroy them.

95:46So how can you think about avoiding that?

95:51- Yeah, so I didn't totally answer your question.

95:56First is therapy, ways that I have worked

96:01through anxiety and depression.

96:06- So you're an introvert and a deeply intellectual person,

96:11therapy works for you?

96:14- To a point.

96:15It was very helpful.

96:18I mean, I think talk therapy is one tool

96:21and can be helpful for, I mean, it depends on the therapist,

96:26depends on the type of therapy,

96:27but I found it to be one piece

96:31and probably not the biggest piece, actually.

96:35But I think, I wish I had discovered medication sooner.

96:40That would have made a big difference in my life.

96:43- Even just intellectually to realize that,

96:45oh, like I'm not--

96:48- Life was a lot harder than it needed to be.

96:50And it wasn't about keeping everything just so.

96:53You know, there's another state my brain can be in

96:57where I don't have to work so hard to be okay.

97:02Meditation was probably the most,

97:05meditation and psychedelic experiences

97:08were probably the most transformative.

97:10But a lot of these things, I'm lucky that I didn't,

97:18my anxiety and depression never really got in the way

97:23of my living my life, of enjoying my life.

97:27I mean, there were struggles that made life harder for me.

97:31But something like treatment-resistant depression

97:36or severe PTSD, these are things that,

97:42at this point in time, based on my understanding,

97:47I think once you've tried,

97:50and the truth is that meditation is often not helpful

97:54for those things, it can actually exacerbate them.

97:59And the most promising thing that I have seen

98:01is this research into psychedelic,

98:04therapy-assisted psychedelic.

98:06- Does that make sense to you,

98:07that psychedelics work so well for such difficult cases?

98:10What is it about psychedelics?

98:12- And I've been following this research from the beginning.

98:15When they were doing end-of-life,

98:16yeah, they started with end-of-life patients,

98:18I don't know, maybe 20 years ago.

98:20I met, at a TED conference, I met one of the doctors

98:23who was doing this research.

98:25It was the first time I became aware

98:27that the research was happening,

98:29and I'd already had my own experiences before that.

98:32And so it made perfect sense to me that this would work.

98:36It was still astonishing to see the results,

98:38to see how successful the work is so much of the time,

98:43but it doesn't surprise me it makes sense.

98:46And it's actually in line with all of these other things.

98:48So quieting down the default mode network.

98:52One of the things that's so transformative

98:55about taking something like psilocybin,

98:59and everyone's experience is different,

99:00it can vary each time you take it,

99:02even in a single person.

99:04But the experience I had,

99:06and the experience that many people have

99:07that is so transformative,

99:09is this feeling that's very hard to describe,

99:11but it's a feeling of being one with the universe.

99:15And that comes with, it's kind of all one feeling

99:19that is, again, hard to put into words,

99:21but there's this feeling that everything is okay.

99:25And I'd never had that feeling before in my life.

99:28And when I took psychedelics,

99:31that feeling would stay with me for months.

99:33And I never understood why,

99:35and it was always fascinating to me,

99:36but it was as if I was glimpsing a deeper truth

99:39of the world that it's all one thing, we're all connected.

99:44There's no sense that there could even be

99:51a feeling of loneliness.

99:52There's just this visceral sense

99:55of being one with everything,

99:56and that everything was okay.

99:58That all the things I was afraid of, even death,

100:00that the universe, in a sense,

100:04is an endless recycling, and I don't know.

100:09It's hard to describe.

100:11But we also know, on the other side,

100:13that depression and anxiety,

100:15when people are experiencing those things,

100:18the default mode network is more active.

100:23And so it's this cycling and this obsessive cycles

100:28of thinking about one's self

100:31that is a huge part of the suffering in the first place.

100:34And so the one thing that's surprising to me

100:38about the research is that,

100:39I may be fudging the data,

100:44but it's something like 80% of people

100:47who are treated for PTSD after one,

100:51only one session are cured of their PTSD.

100:56- Yeah, the effect stays for prolonged periods of time.

101:00- Yeah. - That's really interesting.

101:01- And addiction as well, which is interesting.

101:03That's not something I'm personally familiar with,

101:07so that was a surprise to me.

101:08But yeah, I mean, it's just wonderful that we--

101:11- Yeah, it's incredible.

101:13I mean, of course, it's also incredible

101:14for people who don't suffer

101:17to see what psychedelics can do with the mind,

101:19which is that kind of appreciation.

101:21- Well, and I think it's actually important for this work.

101:24It's one of the questions I ask everyone I talk to

101:28for this series.

101:30Many of them, I won't be able to use that audio.

101:34- Oh, ask them if they've done psychedelics or not?

101:35- Yes, and what their experience was,

101:37and if that's informed.

101:38Actually, initially in the '50s,

101:40I want to do more research on this and look into it,

101:42but in the '50s, there were some studies

101:45that were being done with scientists who,

101:48there were hundreds of scientists they put into the study

101:51where they were on the brink of some kind of discovery,

101:56where they were stuck.

101:57So they had been doing research, and they were stuck,

101:59and they used psychedelics to come up with an answer

102:03to find a path forward,

102:04and it was extremely useful for that.

102:07- Yeah, I mean, it's fascinating.

102:08And the nice thing about psychedelics, from my perception,

102:11is that they don't currently suffer from the taboo

102:14that weed does.

102:16- Oh, that's interesting.

102:18- I don't think.

102:19So like, for example, there's some kind of cultural construct

102:24about a pod head that makes it so that,

102:29you know, like Elon got in trouble for smoking weed.

102:31- Right, but he would have gotten in trouble

102:33for taking mushrooms, too. (laughs)

102:35- I don't know. - Really?

102:36- I don't think so.

102:37- Oh, that's interesting.

102:38- I don't think so, 'cause-- - That's a surprise to me.

102:39- 'Cause mushrooms-- - That's great.

102:40- Mushrooms, to me, seem like a journey.

102:43Like, there's a perception

102:44that you don't take mushrooms all the time.

102:46It's not an addictive substance.

102:48It's not a lifestyle.

102:49It's like going to Burning Man.

102:51It's like an experience that stays with you for a long time.

§12Transcript · 1:42:54–1:51:12

102:54- Didn't realize that understanding

102:55had permeated into the culture.

102:57- Yeah, that's a good question, if it has or not,

103:00because maybe I have a very narrow perspective

103:03of these kinds of things.

103:04But I think what has permeated is, through Hollywood,

103:08ideas of what it means to be a person who smokes weed a lot.

103:11- Yeah. - And that has, like,

103:13has had its effect, which is hilarious,

103:17given the effects of weed versus alcohol.

103:22But that's a whole 'nother story.

103:24- Have you taken psychedelics?

103:25- Yes. - And you've spoken

103:26about it on your podcast?

103:27- Yeah, yeah, so, not a lot.

103:30I really want to do a lot more.

103:32I've taken mushrooms. - Vaspirations. (laughs)

103:35- Yeah, I mean, 'cause it was such a--

103:36- Oh, I know, so do I.

103:37- And I didn't have, I have a very addictive personality,

103:40so I'm very nervous about substances.

103:43But I didn't have any addictive relationship

103:45with that thing.

103:47Well, every time I--

103:48- It is a treatment for addiction, so.

103:50- Interesting. (Bridget laughs)

103:52But I, you know, I'm almost nervous

103:56because every time I've taken mushrooms,

103:58I've had a really pleasant experience.

104:01I mean, it was, it's already the thing I feel anyway.

104:06But I feel it more intensely.

104:08The thing I feel anyway is like appreciation of the moment,

104:10how beautiful life is.

104:12The weird thing that I feel, not throughout the day,

104:16but certain moments of the day, especially early on,

104:18that's like life is intensely beautiful.

104:21Like, that's usually when I'll tweet.

104:26- Yeah. (laughs)

104:26- It's like everything is awesome.

104:29And I remember those feelings

104:31because sometimes when I feel really down

104:32and all those kinds of things,

104:34you remember that it's a rollercoaster

104:37and you just, and then you find the good feelings

104:39and it's cool.

104:40And it does make me a little bit sad

104:43that they kind of fade.

104:44But then as I get older, you get to use those moments.

104:48You realize that, use them well, you know?

104:50When you feel great, when you're focused,

104:52all that kind of stuff, use them well.

104:54- Yeah.

104:55- 'Cause the mind is a rollercoaster.

104:56- Yes, it's true.

104:57That's partly why I do this work.

104:58I feel like my work is therapy.

105:00I don't know if you feel that way.

105:02- Work is therapy.

105:03This work, not work in general.

105:04(laughs)

105:06Thinking about the deep questions,

105:08thinking about the nature of the universe,

105:11thinking about consciousness, even meditation.

105:14I mean, I got into meditation.

105:16To me, it's interesting.

105:19To me, I think a lot of meditators feel this way about it,

105:24but I think just, I'm thinking about it

105:25from the perspective of someone who hasn't meditated before,

105:30but it feels like a scientific experiment.

105:32It feels like it's the same physicist in me

105:36who was drawn to meditation

105:39because the experience is one of getting closer

105:44to your experience and asking similarly deep questions,

105:48like what is time?

105:50What does that even mean?

105:51What do I mean by time?

105:53What does it feel like?

105:54What is a thought is one of the most

105:57interesting questions to me.

105:58- I mean, how do you meditate?

105:59Let's talk about this.

106:00What you let go of time.

106:03- Well, I'm not really doing anything.

106:05I mean, the exercise is really so simple.

106:08It's just paying attention

106:10to your present moment experience,

106:12and it's an extremely challenging thing to do.

106:15It's not the natural state of the brain.

106:18It's an exercise in concentration,

106:22which is why athletes and other people

106:26who spend a lot of time needing to focus intensely

106:31find it so useful.

106:32I mean, it's really a focus, a concentration practice,

106:36but all it is really, I mean, there are different ways,

106:41there are different methods,

106:42but it really is quite simple at its core,

106:47which is just paying close attention

106:50to your present moment experience.

106:52And so in Vipassana,

106:56which is what I've mostly been trained in,

106:58you're usually paying attention to the breath,

107:01but there's always some focus of concentration.

107:04And the focus can even be just an open awareness,

107:07just watching your mind go,

107:09just what comes into your experience.

107:12And part of that is the mind,

107:13part of it is the external world.

107:14So you hear a sound, you think a thought,

107:18you feel a feeling, your cheek is itching.

107:22Am I gonna scratch it?

107:23Am I not gonna scratch it?

107:25Just like, sounds like the most boring thing in the world.

107:28And what's interesting is,

107:30paying close attention to the most boring thing in the world

107:35is incredibly fascinating.

107:38Noticing that each breath, no two breaths are the same,

107:41that time keeps moving, that your thoughts keep appearing.

107:46It's there, yeah, I mean, it's a spiritual practice

107:51for a reason. - You notice more

107:52and more beautiful things about the simpler, simpler things.

107:55Yeah, it's great.

107:56I like to do that, I don't meditate.

107:59I've tried a few times, and I will.

108:03But I meditate, I do meditate, but not,

108:06I meditate by thinking about a thing.

108:08And like holding onto that thing.

108:13And just like, it's not really, I guess,

108:16technically meditation, but it's keeping a focus on an idea,

108:19and then you walk with it,

108:22and you solve the little puzzle of it.

108:25- Yeah, no, it's-- - Especially any kind

108:26of programming or math stuff,

108:28you're holding stuff in your head,

108:29but don't look stuff up, don't take notes.

108:34You're only allowed to have your mind, and that's it.

108:39- You would really enjoy a meditation retreat.

108:41I mean, you would also not enjoy it.

108:43(laughs)

108:44It would be hard-- - Probably go nuts.

108:45- Because it's all, you wouldn't go nuts.

108:46It would be hard, but you would get a ton out of it.

108:49- What's a meditation retreat?

108:51Is it usually silent, or?

108:52- It is always silent, or actually,

108:54at least the one I would recommend you do

108:56is a silent meditation retreat.

108:59Five days. - How long?

109:00Five days, okay.

109:02- We'll talk later, but you might be my next victim.

109:05I have-- (laughs)

109:07- Five days is a long time.

109:09- It's a long time.

109:10- To just sit.

109:11- It changes your brain.

109:12It's the type of experience

109:14that will change your brain permanently.

109:17- There's been like two, three, four hour sessions

109:19of thinking that break in. - And you don't have children.

109:20You should do it. - I don't have children.

109:22Oh, the children--

109:24- Leaving them for five days and not speaking,

109:27and impossible.

109:28I've only done one retreat since I had kids.

109:31I'm doing another one soon, but only two nights.

109:35- Maybe that's what the thoughts will be coming in my head.

109:37You should be getting married.

109:39You should have kids. - That's okay.

109:40Whatever, let the thoughts be.

109:42- I think kids always-- - You'll get really good

109:43at letting things just be,

109:45and focusing on the present moment.

109:48And you might come out with some epiphany

109:50about what you should do next.

109:52- Yeah.

109:53No, I love the idea, obviously.

109:56I love the idea.

109:57I love the idea, you know, I fast for three days.

109:59I wanna fast for longer.

110:00That's also in a different way, perhaps,

110:03but it brings you, makes you more sensitive

110:06to the world around you somehow.

110:07I'm not exactly sure what the chemistry of that is,

110:10but obviously, actually, it's not obvious,

110:13'cause you're not always that hungry.

110:16But you're more, time slows down, and you feel things.

110:19You feel a breeze, all this kind of stuff.

110:22It's very interesting.

110:23You've, I think, tweeted something about ideas

110:26coming out from, sometimes, feeling about

110:30coming from outside of you sometimes.

110:32So you mentioned as you meditate,

110:34you notice these ideas come in.

110:37So thoughts, ideas, how did that connect to consciousness?

110:42- So the thing I was responding to that you wrote,

110:48I think I was partly picking up on the part of you

110:56that would really get a lot out of a meditation retreat.

111:02(laughs)

111:02That was my way of beginning that conversation.

111:07That experience you had of a thought

111:12coming from somewhere else,

§13Transcript · 1:51:14–2:00:47

111:14when you spend an extended period of time

111:19paying close attention to your moment-to-moment experience,

111:22that's how all of your thoughts appear to you.

111:26And it's really beautiful, - Why is that?

111:29- because you're letting go.

111:31Just through the practice of meditation,

111:34you're quieting down your default mode network.

111:38And without necessarily intellectually thinking yourself

111:43out of free will, it naturally kind of drops away.

111:49And so when you're under the spell of this illusion

111:53that you are the author of your thoughts

111:55and your conscious experience is driving

111:58all of your behavior, and there's this eye

111:59that stands somewhere near your brain

112:04but is not your brain that stands free

112:06of the physical world, is the thing generating the thoughts,

112:09when you're meditating, that quiets down

112:16and can kind of quiet down completely

112:18so that your experience is just of the next thing arising

112:23in your conscious awareness.

112:24- But the source of that is still this brain.

112:29- What you realize is the source of it

112:30is not your conscious experience.

112:33- And that's the important insight.

112:36And that's the insight, and so there are many insights

112:39you can have in meditation that align with the science,

112:42which is what's really fascinating,

112:43because it doesn't have to be that way.

112:45Like I can imagine finding meditation

112:47to be extremely useful and helping me with anxiety

112:49and all the rest and having all kinds of insights

112:52that turn out to not be true.

112:53But the interesting thing is that these insights

112:56actually turn out to be true.

112:57And so that is one of them,

113:00is the, when you're just watching

113:05what your conscious experience actually is,

113:09you realize that it's not doing all of the things

113:12you usually feel like it's doing.

113:14And so the thoughts really just arise

113:18in much the same way that a sound or a sight or a feeling,

113:23you know, maybe your leg starts to hurt,

113:27when you're just watching moment by moment by moment,

113:30pain arises, a bird chirping arises,

113:34a thought arises, a feeling arises.

113:37You're just kind of watching it all unfold.

113:41And there's something really beautiful about that.

113:44- Yeah, it's the perspective you could take on

113:49is there's a connectedness to the entirety of the universe,

113:53like to nature in general.

113:55- But there's something so beautiful about consciousness,

113:58about the fact that it's not just a dead universe

114:02with atoms doing their thing,

114:04that at least in this one instance,

114:07there is a felt experience of the universe.

114:12- Of the universe, it's not even individual.

114:14- And I'm part of the universe, yeah.

114:16There's a, right here in this little point in space and time,

114:19there is an experience of the universe.

114:21- But it's still interesting to think about

114:23where those ideas,

114:25if those ideas are solely a construction of the brain,

114:28or is there some kind of mechanism

114:30of joint collective intelligence of humans

114:33as social organisms, where those,

114:36like how much of it is me training my neural network

114:42and the ideas of tens of thousands of other people?

114:46And how much is it myself?

114:46- You're talking like in terms of psychic phenomena,

114:49or you're talking in terms of just absorbing

114:52the information of the past and education

114:55and just kind of our collective human project

114:59that gets in throughout our lives.

115:01- I don't know much about psychic phenomena,

115:03but I also wanna be open-minded

115:05in the way we speak about collective intelligence,

115:07'cause it's very easy to simplify it to,

115:10it's a neural network trained on knowledge

115:13developed over generations and so on.

115:16It does feel like intelligence is stored

115:20in some kind of distributed fashion across humans.

115:24Like if you take one out,

115:26I think that intelligence quickly goes down.

115:30- I don't know how quickly it goes down

115:32if you just take one out, it depends on which one.

115:35I think I half agree and half disagree

115:37with what you're saying.

115:38But yeah, I mean the other thing you notice

115:41when you spend a lot of time in meditation,

115:43and when you spend a lot of time kind of shaking up

115:45these intuitions that I think get in the way

115:47of clearly thinking about what consciousness is,

115:52is that we are these systems in nature

115:58that are not at all isolated.

116:01And there are the obvious ways,

116:02like if I just stop drinking water,

116:04that's gonna change the system very drastically, right?

116:09So there's just the energy consumption,

116:12but the fact that we exchange ideas

116:16is part of who I am is everyone I've interacted with.

116:21And of course the people I interact more with

116:24have sculpted me more, but our brains are sculpted

116:28through our interactions with each other as well.

116:32- Yes, but I wonder if it's a more correct

116:35and useful perspective to take

116:38that those interactions are the organisms.

116:44You're saying you're still making the brain the primary.

116:48There could be like,

116:49that the brain is what it is

116:54because of the social interactions,

116:58and the social interactions are the living organism.

117:00That's a weird perspective 'cause it's so much more--

117:05- I don't actually think it's one or the other.

117:08- They're both? - Yeah.

117:09- They're both living? - Yeah.

117:11- It's like cats and dogs?

117:13(laughs)

117:14- Yeah, I mean, it's a little bit like,

117:16I have two children and a lot of people

117:18with two children will say,

117:20like when you're preparing to have the second one

117:22and soon after you've had the second one,

117:25that having two is kind of like having three

117:28because you are nourishing and protecting

117:33and overseeing each individual life,

117:36but then there's the sibling relationship,

117:39which is almost another thing.

117:43- Yeah, it's weird.

117:44So you've spoken with Don Hoffman a few times.

117:48- Yes.

117:48- In his book, "Case Against Reality."

117:49- Many more than a few, yeah.

117:51- Many more than a few.

117:52There's a lot of fun ones.

117:53Was there one where Sam was involved?

117:55- Well, Sam and I interviewed him.

117:57Yeah, sorry, most of the conversations I've had with him

117:59are private, they're not public,

118:00but we used to meet, before the pandemic,

118:02we were meeting about monthly to discuss ideas.

118:06- I would love to be a fly on the wall of those discussions,

118:09but he wrote a book, "Case Against Reality."

118:11- Yeah.

118:12- Makes the case that our perception

118:14is completely detached from objective reality.

118:18Can you explain his perspective and let us know?

118:23Well, no, no, maybe not fully,

118:25but to which degree you agree and don't.

118:29So this is much more focused.

118:31I guess you guys have an agreement

118:33that consciousness is somehow fundamental.

118:36- Yeah, I mean, I think we both think we might be wrong.

118:40- About the consciousness or about reality?

118:42- About it being fundamental.

118:43I think we're both just,

118:45we both agree that this is a legitimate question to ask

118:50at this point in science, is consciousness fundamental?

118:53And I really see it as a question, and I think he does too.

118:57- But he goes hard on reality.

118:59- Yes, and it's interesting because I, you know,

119:03especially, so I actually now have recorded

119:05three conversations with him for this project

119:08I'm working on, yeah.

119:09And in every conversation we have,

119:13we seem to land on the same place,

119:14but this last conversation we had,

119:16it seemed to be even more clear

119:18that the semantics really get in the way.

119:21When you get into the weeds in these conversations,

119:24it's almost like we need some new terminology

119:29because it's hard to know sometimes

119:32whether we're talking about the same thing.

119:34I have issues with his terminology

119:38that when we talk about what his terminology represents,

119:43it seems like we completely agree.

119:46- But the conclusions you don't?

119:49- It's possible we have a very similar view of the universe

119:54if consciousness is fundamental.

119:56It may be an identical view.

119:57It's hard for me to know because I disagree

120:00with a lot of his terminology.

120:02- Okay, but our four-dimensional reality,

120:05he says that's like a complete space-time.

120:09It's a complete weird construction that--

120:12- Yeah, well, I mean, the truth is that,

120:14I mean, if you talk to a neuroscientist like Anil Seth,

120:17and I would say most neuroscientists,

120:19but he's really good on this subject,

120:21and his expertise and his area of focus is in perception.

120:26So he talks a lot about how our perceptions

120:29give us an experience of the world,

120:31and he calls it a controlled hallucination.

120:34I'm sorry, he probably got,

120:37I think he says that he got that term from someone else,

120:39but that's the term he uses.

120:41- We got every term from somewhere else.

120:43- Right, that's true.

120:44- Everything, there's no new ideas.

120:46- Right.

120:47There's a sense in which what Hoffman is saying

§14Transcript · 2:00:49–2:10:20

120:49is already, we already know to be the case.

120:52So our brains are creating this conscious experience

120:57based on these interactions with the outside world.

121:01It is in some sense all a controlled hallucination.

121:05And someone like Anil Seth,

121:07so from the neuroscientific point of view,

121:09I actually have a quote here somewhere

121:10if you have any interest in hearing the quote,

121:13but he's essentially saying,

121:16everything we experience is a perception,

121:20including our experience of time and space.

121:23So we still don't really know what our experience of space

121:29represents out there in the world.

121:32And then of course, when you talk to physicists

121:34about the different interpretations of quantum mechanics,

121:36I mean, where physics seems to be headed

121:39across the board at this point

121:41is that space and time are emergent,

121:44that they're not part of the fundamental fabric of reality.

121:48And so there's some ways in which Don is saying things that--

121:53- Is he being too poetic about it?

121:58Is that the right way to phrase it?

122:00'Cause like-- - No, go ahead.

122:02- He says like, it's not that our perception

122:06is just a controlled hallucination.

122:08Well-- - No, it's not.

122:10He's saying something more than that.

122:11- More than that. - That's true.

122:13But my point is that a lot of what he's already saying,

122:15on some level, science is already there

122:18and could agree with.

122:20- Yeah, but not all the way.

122:23'Cause he's saying like,

122:26that we don't even,

122:28the evolutionary process has constructed

122:33our brain mechanisms in such a way

122:35that we're really far from having access

122:38to objective reality. - Yes.

122:41Although I think we already know that as well.

122:43I mean, if any version of string theory is correct,

122:46and of course, we don't know yet, it's all up for grabs,

122:48but the truth is each theory is weirder than the last.

122:53If there are 15 dimensions of space,

122:57we are just not,

122:59we're not wired to be able to understand

123:04the fundamental reality.

123:06- But I think we have a consistent abstraction

123:10that seems to be reliable.

123:13- Yes. - Like a blockchain.

123:15- Yes, and he's not just saying

123:16that we really only have this tiny window onto reality.

123:19He's saying that that window onto reality

123:22is giving us a lot of false information.

123:24It's not true. - Yeah, it's false.

123:25It's not just an abstraction, it's false.

123:27Because he's saying there's no reason it needs to be true.

123:30It's not required to be true.

123:37And in fact, there's, through natural selection,

123:40it's very possible to imagine,

123:43or it's likely to imagine that organisms

123:45will evolve in such a way that you're going to just

123:49be lying to yourself completely.

123:52But the question there is, if that's the case,

123:55it's a really interesting thing to think about.

123:57I think the regular way in which he approaches it

123:59is really admirable.

124:02I do think it's scientific.

124:04But it's,

124:07the question for me is why is it so consistent

124:11across all of these organisms?

124:13We all seem to see the table,

124:15and feel, and run into the table.

124:18- So what he will agree, so what I would say to that,

124:20and when I pose this to him,

124:21I really don't wanna speak for him.

124:23(laughing)

124:24But I'll answer it myself and say that I believe he agrees

124:28with what I'm about to say.

124:30Which is that the things we perceive

124:34are connected to the structure of reality.

124:39It's just that the structure of reality

124:41is made of something completely different

124:43than the thing we're experiencing.

124:46So imagine, if you just go with the holographic principle.

124:49Loosely, and actually, the holographic principle

124:54applies to black holes only.

124:56So there's ADS-CFT duality, anti-de Sitter space,

125:00and conformal field theory.

125:02Am I getting all these terms right?

125:04- The terms are right, but I can't believe

125:06we're going there.

125:07- Well, I mean, this is where I've gone

125:09in all of my conversations with physicists,

125:10because the idea is, so if we just have the basic principle

125:14that reality and all of the information can be contained,

125:19or is actually in a two-dimensional space

125:23that gets projected, this is something that you don't buy,

125:26based on the look on your face.

125:28- No, no, no, I'm actually freaking out,

125:30because yes, any theory of modern physics

125:33gives inkling that reality's very weird.

125:36- Right, and completely different from how we experience it.

125:39- That's one example.

125:40- So this is an intuition that, for whatever reason,

125:43has always felt true to me.

125:46This is the way I thought about things as a child.

125:48I've met other people that felt this way

125:50when I've had experiences in psychedelics,

125:52and this is where I start to sound crazy, too.

125:54(laughs)

125:55- Nope.

125:56Everybody else is crazy, except us.

126:00- But that has always seemed right to me,

126:04and that's always the thing

126:05that I feel like I'm looking for.

126:08It's funny, recently I was thinking

126:10that it's as if I feel like I'm,

126:13and this is more how I was thinking

126:15of how I felt as a child,

126:16but I feel this way a lot as an adult, too,

126:19that the image is one of a snow globe,

126:23that I'm confined to this snow globe

126:26based on my human perceptions,

126:29and the truth of reality is out there,

126:32and it's actually why I'm so drawn to shaking intuitions.

126:34I feel like every time we shake up an intuition,

126:36it's like an opportunity to leave the snow globe

126:38for a moment.

126:40It's like smashing the marbles and seeing,

126:42oh, it's not liquid in there like I thought.

126:44It's getting this glimpse of something truer

126:48than what we typically experience.

126:50- I feel like it's for a long time gonna be snow globes

126:53inside snow globes inside snow globes.

126:55- But the larger point is that, yes,

126:58whatever is true about the fundamental nature of reality

127:00is not something we're experiencing.

127:03However, it is linked and gives us clues to it.

127:07So one image I came up with recently,

127:10I actually wrote about this.

127:11I have an article in Nautilus about time,

127:14because I was, as I spend time thinking about

127:17what it would mean for consciousness to be fundamental,

127:20and at the same time, I'm talking to physicists

127:23about different interpretations of quantum mechanics

127:27and the fact that the ones I'm talking to

127:30believe that space and time are emergent

127:33and are not part of the fundamental story.

127:36I was thinking about what is it,

127:39what could time be if it's not the way we experience it?

127:46What could it be pointing to?

127:48And I'm not the first person to think like this.

127:51Many people have developed

127:55different thought experiments around this,

127:56but, and this is, I'm not saying this is the way things are,

127:59but this is just one solution is that time and causality

128:05appear to us the way they do,

128:09because for whatever reason,

128:10we're only perceiving one moment at a time.

128:13And these connections between events

128:19that we perceive as time are actually

128:24just part of the fabric of reality.

128:25There's some structure to reality at a deeper level

128:29where it's like shining a flashlight

128:33on the structure of reality

128:34where for us, for whatever reason,

128:36everything else disappears.

128:38And the only thing that exists

128:39is that single pinprick of light

128:44that we happen to be inhabiting or that we can perceive,

128:48but the rest of it is there.

128:49And so that even though time would be an illusion

128:52and the causality in the way we experience it,

128:55it is an illusion,

128:57or it doesn't mean what we think it means,

129:00it's still pointing to a deeper structure.

129:02There's something that it corresponds to

129:04in the fundamental nature of reality.

129:06And I've had enough conversations with Don, I think,

129:10to know that he would agree with that,

129:15that our perceptions map onto something.

129:20It's just not the experience of it that we're having.

129:26So to go back to the idea that our perception

129:31of the idea that all of reality

129:33could be contained in two dimensions,

129:36and there's something about the interaction

129:38between different points that caused this holograph

129:43so that it seems like there's a three-dimensional world

129:45when in fact it's a projection

129:48of this two-dimensional surface.

129:49What we experience as space still references something

129:59at the fundamental level.

130:03It's just that it's not space.

130:05And that is something that makes a lot of sense to me.

130:08I also, I posted an excerpt,

130:09George Musser wrote a great book,

130:12"Spooky Action at a Distance."

130:14"Spooky Action at a Distance."

130:15And he talks about, he's a great science writer,

130:20and he talks about ways to kind of absorb

§15Transcript · 2:10:25–2:20:41

130:25what this would mean, this ADS/CFT duality.

130:29And he talks about, he gives an example of music

130:33as an analogy, that two different notes can exist

130:37in three dimensions as if the other doesn't exist

130:40because of the frequency of the sound waves.

130:44And that in another way, you can think of the sound waves

130:47existing in different dimensions.

130:50I don't know if that's, I--

130:54- Yeah, that's really interesting.

130:56- I don't speak as well as I write.

130:57- You speak beautifully.

131:00- I've written about this in a way

131:00that I think is easier to absorb

131:03than the way I just described it.

131:04- But I think causality is the trickiest one,

131:07trickier one.

131:08Time is a tricky one to like,

131:10who, boy, this--

131:13- And there are physicists who think that space is emergent

131:15but time is still fundamental,

131:16and Lee Smolin is one of those scientists.

131:19And it's really interesting to talk to him about this.

131:22But yeah, so--

131:23- Time being emergent

131:24is a really trippy one to think about.

131:29Also, I wonder if it's possible,

131:32at which point does the experience of time

131:36start becoming a part of the conscious experience

131:41of living organisms?

131:42So is it something that evolved on Earth only, or is it--

131:47- It's also very hard to think about consciousness

131:49without time.

131:50And that's something that's really interesting

131:52for me to think about too.

131:54Although, not that this is scientific evidence of anything,

131:58but I and many others have had the experience,

132:01a timeless, spaceless experience

132:04in certain states of meditation

132:06and under the influence of psychedelics.

132:09- And that's still a conscious experience, would you say?

132:11- Yeah, absolutely.

132:12- But didn't you say that some aspect

132:14of conscious experience is memory?

132:17- It seems like that too.

132:18No, no, so I said an experience of being a self

132:22is due to memory.

132:23It seems that consciousness and time

132:27are inextricably linked,

132:29but I think that may be an illusion also.

132:32And when I think about consciousness being fundamental,

132:36and someone like Max Tegmark,

132:39I don't know if there are other mathematicians,

132:41I'm sure there are, he's the only one I know of

132:43who will talk about mathematical forms

132:48and shapes as not just being,

132:51he talks about them as being actual objects in nature

132:56that exist, that are not just mathematical structures

133:02that we can think about,

133:04but any mathematical structure that comes out of the math

133:09actually exists in reality.

133:12And so when I think about consciousness being fundamental,

133:17I think about physics and mathematics

133:21being a description of the structure of it.

133:26And that when mathematicians say things like that,

133:29or physicists say things like that,

133:30it makes sense if we're talking about

133:36a conscious experience of some sort.

133:40- Yeah, that's really interesting.

133:41First of all, Max is great.

133:43Man, this is really interesting to think about

133:47how, what is fundamental.

133:50It's a good exercise to do in general,

133:52to truly think through it.

133:54I mean, ultimately it's a very humbling process

133:56'cause we're probably in the very early days of,

133:59well, we can't know currently, right?

134:01- Right, currently.

134:02I mean, maybe permanently, but I remain optimistic.

134:07- Right, well, to jump around a little bit,

134:11the Google AI engineer,

134:15using the terms from the press is kind of hilarious.

134:18- Why, is this a friend of yours?

134:22- No, it's not, no, no.

134:24But just, the term AI is really not used

134:27amongst machine learning people.

134:29- Oh, I see, okay.

134:30- So I'm using kind of Google AI engineer,

134:33and this is like sentience and chatbot,

134:36and none of those words are really used

134:39by the people that actually build them.

134:42You're much more likely to use language model

134:44versus chatbot or natural language dialogue

134:49versus chatbot or whatever, and certainly not sentience.

134:53But that's the point.

134:54I mean, sometimes the difference between

134:56the public discourse and the engineering

134:59is actually really important

135:00'cause engineering tends to want to ignore the magic.

135:04They don't notice the magic.

135:06Anyway, the Google AI engineer

135:10believes that the Lambda 1

135:14natural language system achieved sentience.

135:20I don't know if you paid attention to that.

135:22- I didn't. - You didn't.

135:23But the general question is,

135:26do you think a chatbot, do you think a robot

135:29could be conscious?

135:30- So, I mean, this answer is slightly different

135:33or very different depending on whether

135:35I kind of follow the assumption

135:37that consciousness emerges at some point

135:40in physical processing or whether it's fundamental.

135:43Since I've just chosen to stay on the fundamental channel,

135:49I mean, then it's kind of a silly answer

135:54because if consciousness is fundamental

135:56in the way I currently think about it,

135:59the only way I imagine it working,

136:04every physical thing we perceive

136:08is a representation of a conscious experience.

136:11So, I mean, yes, that's true of everything in the world.

136:15However, I would say if that's the case,

136:17even though there's a way in which it's behaving

136:23in similar ways to a human being,

136:25the way it's constructed, what it is actually made of

136:29and the physics of it is so different

136:32that I would expect it to have

136:34an entirely, completely non-human conscious experience.

136:40And whether it even feels like a self,

136:44I think would be a big question mark.

136:47- Well, there's questions of ethics

136:49and is it capable of suffering?

136:52Is suffering connected to--

136:55- Consciousness.

136:56- Consciousness or--

136:57- I mean, obviously it is.

136:58It's the only way you can suffer is in a consciousness.

137:02- Maybe it's not, maybe it's not.

137:03Maybe it's more connected to self than consciousness.

137:08- I would say, I mean, just on my own use of these words,

137:12suffering is only something that can happen

137:15in a conscious experience.

137:17- Right, so can robots suffer?

137:18- If they have a, anything that has a conscious experience

137:23can experience suffering, yes.

137:25- But do plants suffer in the same?

137:29So is there some level where when we construct

137:34our morals and ethics that,

137:38is there a class of conscious experiences

137:42or organisms that are capable of conscious experience

137:45that we can anthropomorphize sufficiently

137:48such that we give them rights?

137:50- Yeah, I mean, this is not an area that--

137:55- For physics. - I have spent, for me.

137:59I have not spent a lot of time thinking about this.

138:01Most people expect that I have.

138:03It's interesting, these types of questions

138:06are much less interesting to me than the other questions,

138:09and I think it's because I'm interested

138:11in the physics of things.

138:13I'm somewhat interested, I'm definitely interested

138:15in ethical questions for human beings,

138:18but I have spent very little time thinking

138:21about the implications for other types of intelligence.

138:25I will say that I think the capacity for suffering

138:30of a conscious system goes up with memory

138:39and with a sense of self.

138:42So if you take, if anesthesia only erased your memory

138:48and it didn't actually make you unconscious,

138:53you actually experienced, horrifically experienced

138:56some surgical procedure, but we could completely wipe out

139:00your memory of it, as nightmarish as that scenario is,

139:05and I'm not suggesting we should ever do this,

139:08I would say if our only option were to erase

139:12your memory of it, that would be the more ethical thing

139:15to do than to have you maintain that memory

139:20because the suffering is then carried

139:22across a longer distance through time.

139:26- That's presuming that suffering is unethical.

139:30- Well, isn't that what ethics is all about?

139:33It's about suffering.

139:34I mean, I think, to me, ethics is all about suffering

139:38and well-being, and I don't know what ethics is

139:40without that.

139:42- There's different measures of suffering,

139:43so having one traumatic event, if you erase

139:47that one traumatic event, that potentially might have

139:50negative, unmet consequences for the growth of a human being.

139:55- Yeah, so then it's a different question,

139:57but I would say that memory increases suffering globally

140:02so that if any moment of suffering only existed for itself

140:11in the present moment, that is a lesser kind of suffering

140:18than a suffering that is drawn out over time through memory.

140:23- So hard to think about, yeah.

140:25- And so, yeah, I mean, in terms of AI,

140:28if they're conscious and there's a sense of self

140:31and memory, which I actually think you need memory

140:34to have a sense of self.

140:36Actually, sorry, I take that back.

140:39I actually think you can have a really primitive

140:41sense of self without memory.

§16Transcript · 2:20:44–2:29:58

140:44But an AI that is conscious, that has memory

140:48and a sense of self, yeah, that's capable of suffering.

140:53Absolutely.

140:54- Well, one of the things, 'cause you said

140:57you haven't really looked into this area

140:59because there's so many interesting things to look into,

141:03and you're really focused on the physics side.

141:05To me, the neuroscience experiments that you mentioned

141:09where there's a difference between the timing of things

141:11that kind of reveal there's something here,

141:13to me, working with robots.

141:15I have robots that are moving around my home in Austin.

141:20It's a very good embodied thought experiment.

141:27Like, here's a thing that looks like it has a free will.

141:32It looks like it has conscious experiences.

141:37And then I know how it's programmed.

141:40And so I have to go back and forth.

141:43- I know.

141:44- And it's, this is what I do.

141:46You lay on the ground looking up at the stars

141:49thinking about plants, and I look at a robot like--

141:53- Well, you can do this with plants too.

141:55I mean, there's some complex enough behavior

141:58that looks like free will from a certain angle.

142:01And it makes you wonder two things.

142:04One, is there consciousness associated with that processing?

142:08And two, if there isn't,

142:13what does that say about our experience?

142:17And--

142:18- Both are complex thoughts.

142:22- Our circumstance in nature, what does that say?

142:24Yeah.

142:24But yeah, I do that with plants all the time.

142:27I go back and forth.

142:28But the zombie thought experiment now,

142:32at least for me, is often presented as AI

142:35because now that's easier, as a robot,

142:37because that's easier.

142:41I don't know if it's just because it's in pop culture now

142:44in the form of films and television shows,

142:47but it's easier to get to that point of contemplation,

142:52I think, by imagining a robot.

142:58- I don't know why exactly I'm bothered

143:00by philosophers talking about zombies

143:03because it feels like they're missing,

143:06it's like talking about,

143:09it's reducing a joyful experience.

143:14So that's like talking about,

143:18listen, when you fall in love with somebody,

143:20the other person is a zombie.

143:21You don't know if they're conscious or not.

143:23You're just making presumptions and so on.

143:25It's like, it says philosophers will do this kind of thing.

143:28They might as well be a zombie.

143:30Or there's no such thing as love,

143:32it's just a mutual, like economists will reduce love

143:35to some kind of mutual calculation

143:37that minimizes risk and stability over time.

143:40It's like, all right,

143:42what I wanna do with each of those people

143:45is I wanna find every one of those philosophers

143:49that talk about zombies

143:50and eventually give them one of those robots

143:52and watch them fall in love

143:54and see how their understanding of how humble they are

143:59by how little we understand.

144:02- That's the point of the zombie experiment.

144:04I mean, the zombie thought experiment.

144:06I mean, I can't speak for any of them.

144:08- Empathy for zombies?

144:09Is that the point? - No.

144:10So for me, I mean, I don't like spending much time on it.

144:13I think it has limited use for sure.

144:15And I understand your annoyance with it.

144:18But for me, what's so useful about it

144:20is it gets you to ask the same questions you're asking

144:24when you're looking at robots.

144:26If you just run the experiment and you say,

144:29okay, I'm sitting here with Lex.

144:31What if I try to trick myself?

144:34What's different about the world

144:36if someone tells me actually he's a robot?

144:40Is essentially what the zombie experiment is.

144:42He's over there.

144:43He has no conscious experience.

144:44He's acting all serious, but there's no experience there.

144:47So it gets you to ask some interesting questions.

144:49One is, okay, when it seems impossible,

144:52I just think, no, that makes no sense.

144:54I can't even imagine that.

144:56Okay, what do I think consciousness is responsible for?

145:00What is consciousness doing in that human over there

145:04that is Lex that I can't fathom all of your behavior

145:09and everything that you're doing

145:13and about without consciousness?

145:14So it gets you to ask this question.

145:16These are the questions I begin my book with.

145:19What is consciousness doing?

145:21It gets you to ask that question in a deeper way.

145:24And then I kind of found this alternate,

145:27I don't know if other people have done this,

145:28but I found this alternate use for it,

145:31which is even more useful to me,

145:33which is I'm able to do it sometimes.

145:36I'm able to just sit with someone

145:37and get my imagination going

145:41and imagine there really is no conscious experience there

145:45in that person.

145:47And what happened for me the first few times

145:49I was able to do this is it reminded me exactly

145:53of how I feel when I look at complex plant behavior

145:57and other behaviors in nature

145:59where I assume there's no conscious experience.

146:02And to me it just flips everything on its head.

146:07It just gets you to be able,

146:09it gets you to be open to possibilities

146:12that you were closed to before.

146:14And I think that's useful.

146:16- Does it enhance or dissipate your capacity

146:21for love of other human beings?

146:24What role does love play in the human condition, Atika?

146:27- I mean, in so many ways it's the most important role.

146:32I don't think any of these realizations,

146:36I mean, if anything I think it enhances it.

146:41But I don't think they,

146:46I mean, it kind of goes back to the levels of usefulness.

146:50- Sometimes you wanna picture your friends as a plant.

146:53(Atika laughs)

146:54It's helpful.

146:55It's helpful to appreciate the beauty

146:58that they are as an organism.

146:59- Yeah, I mean, I don't know.

147:01For me, the more time I spend practicing meditation,

147:06seeing through these illusions,

147:10the more poignant my conscious experience becomes.

147:16And love is obviously one of the most powerful

147:20and one of the most positive experiences we have.

147:24And I don't know, there's just,

147:26whatever its cause is,

147:28there's just something miraculous about it

147:31in and of itself and for itself.

147:34- I think love, romantic love, is a beautiful thing.

147:37Connection, friendship is a beautiful thing.

147:38And it's so interesting how people can grow together,

147:41how interact together, disagree together,

147:44and make each other better.

147:46Like scientific collaborations are like this too.

147:49Daniel Kahneman, Tversky, I mean, there's,

147:54and most people are not able to do that

147:56in the scientific realm.

147:58They create, the more successful you become,

148:00the more solid-- - No, it's rare.

148:01And you recognize it when you have it,

148:02when you have a great collaboration.

148:04I mean, in science, but also in other areas.

148:06In this TED production I'm working on,

148:08I just happened to be working with this producer

148:12where we had this instant connection,

148:14and the chemistry's great,

148:15and I have so much fun recording with her.

148:19It's so great to have, I usually work alone,

148:21and it's been wonderful to have this partner.

148:24- It's like a chat, it's like a conversation type of thing?

148:26- Yeah, she's taking my conversation,

148:28we're playing around with it,

148:29we're just working on the pilot.

148:30- I love how you have no idea how it's gonna turn out.

148:33This is great.

148:34- Well, I just started working without a clear,

148:39a clear image of the end result.

148:43Although it started with an idea for a film.

148:47I don't know, I guess I have a feeling,

148:48I was just wondering if I'd talked about this

148:51with you before anywhere, but probably not.

148:53Yeah, 'cause you and I have never spoken before.

148:55- No, we just met, we just know each other.

148:57- You mean you didn't see me

148:58when I was listening to that podcast of yours?

149:01And have that thought, you didn't hear that thought?

149:03- I mean, we were mentioning this offline,

149:05as a small tangent, there's a cool dynamic

149:07in how we get to become really close friends

149:10without never having met, never having talked one way,

149:14but it could be one way friendships that form,

149:15and it's a beautiful thing.

149:17I think, I don't know, that makes me feel

149:20like we're all connected,

149:22and you're almost like plugging into some kind of weird

149:25thing in the space of ideas.

149:27- So many things I wanna say now,

149:28but here's one thing, is the way I think about consciousness

149:32if it's fundamental, is analogous to a pot of boiling water,

149:37where the water is the consciousness,

149:40and the bubbles are the conscious experiences.

149:43And so, it is all one thing,

149:46and then there are these shapes that take form.

149:49And there's a felt experience, right?

149:51It's all felt experience.

149:53So, when we're able to let go of this sense of self,

149:58or this illusion of self,

§17Transcript · 2:30:00–2:39:20

150:00the idea that experiences are happening to something,

150:05or to someone, drops out,

150:07and what you get is just experiences arising.

150:10So, there's the fundamental nature of the universe,

150:13which obviously has a structure and obeys laws,

150:16but what you get out of that are appearances

150:20of different conscious experiences.

150:22They're just coming into being, right?

150:26And so, there is, under that view,

150:29I mean, there are different ways to look at

150:31the fundamental nature of reality without consciousness,

150:33and kind of come up with a similar view,

150:35but in that view, it is just kind of one,

150:39it's one thing with different experiences popping up.

150:43- And in that boiling pot is a lobster,

150:46(Bridget laughs)

150:46which represents the human condition.

150:48- The devil.

150:50- Because life is suffering.

150:52I don't know if you've read the statement

150:53of Foster Wallace, "Consider the lobster."

150:55I mean, the stuff that we do to lobsters

150:58is fascinatingly horrible.

151:01- Oh, yeah, no.

151:02I mean, that was my first rejection of many worlds,

151:05just my psychological rejection of it,

151:07was just imagining the multiplication of all the suffering.

151:12I just, I mean, I spent a lot of time

151:16thinking about, consumed by,

151:20and trying not to be overwhelmed

151:22by the depth of human suffering.

151:26To imagine many worlds with is just--

151:28- Infinite suffering?

151:29- Oh, my God, yeah.

151:30- What is it about humans,

151:31I think you spent too much time on Twitter,

151:34is focused on the suffering.

151:35I mean, there's also the awesomeness.

151:37- Yes.

151:38- And I think the awesomeness outpowers

151:39the suffering over time.

151:40- That's so nice.

151:41I wish I believed that.

151:43- With memory, as you said, the suffering is multiplied.

151:48It's an interesting thought,

151:51but with memory, beauty is multiplied as well.

151:56So it's like--

151:58- Yes, where I stand with it,

152:01and I'm, for some reason, still optimistic

152:04that we can get ourselves to a different place,

152:07but the way things currently are,

152:11or the way things have always been for animals and humans,

152:15and I think any conscious life form,

152:17is, to me, the suffering seems so much more impactful

152:22and powerful than any happy,

152:31for lack of a better word, experience,

152:33that no happy experience is worth

152:37its equivalent experience of suffering.

152:42- That's certainly how I feel as well,

152:46but I've learned not to trust my feelings.

152:49- Yeah, well.

152:50- So the folks who are religious will ask the question,

152:56which I think applies whether you're religious or not,

152:58why is there suffering in the world?

153:00Why does a just God allow suffering?

153:03Those kinds of questions.

153:04I think...

153:14It does seem that suffering is a deep part of human history,

153:18and you have to really think about that.

153:22- It's a part of nature.

153:23I mean-- - It's a part of nature.

153:24- If feeling good is surviving and thriving,

153:28nothing survives and thrives forever,

153:31so you just encounter suffering.

153:33It's just built in.

153:35- Yeah, death meets us all in the end,

153:37and only...

153:38It's kind of hilarious to then think about most of nature,

153:43the cruelty and the poverty of nature,

153:44like how horrible the conditions are for animals.

153:48- And plants.

153:49- And plants. - It's just war.

153:50It's just war all over the place.

153:53- But it's mostly, yeah, it's war,

153:55but it's also just, it's like poverty.

153:59It's extreme poverty.

154:01When people criticize farms and so on,

154:03you also have to consider the suffering of the animals.

154:06We try to imagine that animals in the woods

154:08are all this happy time.

154:09No, it's like, you have to really consider,

154:12if you really asked an animal,

154:13would they like to sit in a boring zoo

154:16and be fed away from the wild and nature

154:20and the freedom and so on?

154:21I don't know how many of them would choose the zoo

154:23versus nature.

154:24Anyway, but what's the meaning of life, Anika?

154:29Let me ask the question. - Is that a question?

154:30- Why? - For me?

154:31- Yes.

154:32(Anika laughs)

154:33There's no you.

154:35It's a question for whatever you're plugged into.

154:37- Is that a question for the body and mind system

154:40we call Anika?

154:41(Anika laughs)

154:42Call Anika and let's see what that--

154:44- The meaning of life?

154:45- Yeah, the why, the why.

154:47Why, is there a why? - It's interesting.

154:49I've never been drawn to the why questions.

154:52I'm interested in the what and the how.

154:55What is life?

154:59What is this place?

155:00What are we doing?

155:01How are we here?

155:02How is this taking place?

155:06But I mean, if I had to answer,

155:10I guess I don't think there is a why really.

155:13It's funny, the quote,

155:16the thought that comes to mind is really

155:20like a kind of a cheesy quote that I'm sure is printed

155:22on a bunch of mugs and T-shirts,

155:25but it's Thich Nhat Hanh.

155:27(Anika laughs)

155:29I'm gonna get it wrong,

155:29but it's something like,

155:31we're here to awaken from our illusion of separateness.

155:37And I don't really see that as an answer to the why question,

155:42although that's how it's framed in his quote.

155:45We are here for that purpose.

155:47I think if there is a purpose worth being here for,

155:53that's kind of the ultimate, I think.

155:55- Let me ask you for advice.

155:59You had a complex and a beautiful journey through life.

156:06You're exceptionally successful.

156:08What advice would you give to young folks

156:10in high school or in college

156:13about how to live a life like yours

156:15or how to live a life they can be proud of

156:19or have a career they can be proud of?

156:21How to pave a path and journey

156:25they can be happy with and be proud of?

156:28- I haven't really had this conversation with my kids.

156:31I mean, we have lots of deep conversations

156:33and they're all kind of pertaining to each moment

156:38or whatever they're facing.

156:40I think career is difficult because in so many ways,

156:45I just feel like I'm lucky that I ended up being able to do

156:49for a living the thing I love to do.

156:52But the truth is-- - There's no such thing as luck.

156:55- Yeah, well-- - Or the free will.

156:57Luck is an illusion.

156:58- There's no such thing as luck

157:00when you believe in free will, right?

157:02- Right. (Amy laughs)

157:03That's true. - They're all illusions.

157:05I really, in retrospect, started working on my book

157:1030 years ago and had no idea that I was working on a book.

157:17And this kind of ties into my advice,

157:19which is I think it's really important

157:22to follow your passion and

157:26to find things that you love

157:31and that you find inspiring and motivating and exciting,

157:36whether they relate to your career or not.

157:41And I think many times, if you persist

157:46just for the pure passion of the thing itself,

157:52it finds a way into your everyday life.

157:57- The career manifests itself.

157:59- I mean, that's what's happened to me.

158:01And I've had such an unconventional path,

158:06it's very hard for me to give advice based on that path.

158:11But I do believe that it's extraordinarily important

158:15to keep your passions alive, to keep your curiosity alive,

158:19to keep your wonder at life alive, however you do that.

158:24And it doesn't necessarily have to be in your career.

158:28And I think for a lot of people,

158:29their career enables them the time and the space

158:33to experience other things that maybe wouldn't be

158:38as enjoyable if they were at their career.

158:42- Yeah, I mean, in general, a dogged pursuit

158:45of the stuff you love will create something beautiful.

158:48And if it's an unconventional path, those are the best kind.

158:52Those are the most beautiful kind.

158:53And it created, in this case,

158:56I think you're a beautiful person, Anika,

158:58beautiful mind. - Thank you.

158:59- Thank you so much for doing everything you do

159:03and for sharing it with the world.

159:05And thank you so much for talking with me today.

159:07That was awesome.

159:07Good to finally meet you.

159:08- Great to finally meet you.

159:11- Thanks for listening to this conversation

159:12with Anika Harris.

159:13To support this podcast,

159:15please check out our sponsors in the description.

159:17And now, let me leave you with some words

159:20from Mahatma Gandhi.

§18Transcript · 2:39:21–2:39:37

159:21I will not let anyone walk through my mind

159:26with their dirty feet.

159:27Thank you for listening and hope to see you next time.

159:32(upbeat music)

159:34(upbeat music)

159:37Thanks for watching.

— A LITTLE MORE TO THINK ABOUT. —