JRQE #3 - Duncan Trussell

00:00Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day! Yeah, it certainly is possible when you look at the fossil record and you look at this Homo floresiensis, this hobbit man from Indonesia, when you look at the stories of this thing called the Orang Pendek, which is another supposed small hobbit-like furry creature that's running around, and then you hear the stories about these Gigantopithecus creatures that used to exist as recently as 100,000 years ago. You start going, okay, well, there seems to have been a lot of different kinds of primates. Then, of course, is that Russian ancestor of human beings that's found really recently that 41,000 years ago was a completely different type of human, was not a Neanderthal, was not a Homo sapien. It was something totally different. Yeah. And that's 40,000 years ago.

01:09So, it seems like as scientists accumulate more and more evidence, they're finding that there was a broad variety of primates that branched off in a bunch of different chains, and it very well could have been that there's more than one intelligent one, that it wasn't just human beings. It wasn't just human beings and Neanderthals. It wasn't just human beings and Neanderthals and this new one that they discovered. There might have been many more. The problem with fossils is it's really hard to leave a fossil. When something dies, it just rots. It gets absorbed by the earth. Bacteria eats it. Animals eat it. That's what happens to most of us when we die. When you find a fossil, it's because something fell into mud or got caught in a lava field. There has to be something really weird that happens to it. Ice, amber. Yes. It's very rare for something to last on this planet very long after it dies.

02:07Yeah, so our view of what used to exist is so weird because it's based on such a small amount of data. Really kind of incredible when you stop and think about what they have discovered used to exist, especially in regards to dinosaurs and all the different animals that have been extinct for millions and millions of years based on just this one way of acquiring the evidence of their body, a fossil. Yeah, it's amazing that they can reconstruct what they looked like with some accuracy. It is fascinating, man. And all of this stuff has shown me how I'm a lazy skeptic. Like, you know how there's people who just believe anything? Well, there's also the opposite of that, which is people who just disbelieve anything. Yeah. They don't look into, well, why am I a skeptic? Why don't I believe this? This is the thing with people who roll their eyes at Bigfoot.

03:02And by the way, after going squatching with you, I've gotten a lot of eye rolls when I tell people, yeah, maybe there's a Bigfoot. In Silver Lake? Yeah. In Silver Lake, all you get is eye rolls. It's like seizures. If you tell someone you believe in Bigfoot, it's like watching someone on ecstasy. Their eyes go so far back in their head. But the thing I've realized is that a lot of people will instantly say, I don't believe in that. And you say, well, why don't you believe in that? And they'll say, well, because it doesn't exist. And you say, well, why? What's your evidence that it doesn't exist? And they don't know. They have no evidence either way. So I think that's an interesting thing that I've discovered in myself, which is that I'm an automatic skeptic. When you would talk about Bigfoot in earlier podcasts or just on the phone with me, in my mind, I'm like, this is fucking horse shit.

03:53Deep, deep, knee deep horse shit. With no reason to believe, no reason to say that. No reason, having not investigated it at all, having not even done a web search on it. Like really just not even thinking about it. And now I think, well, you know what? I think that there is, I think that it takes something a little bit more than fantasy to drive an anthropologist or a scientist or someone who only has their career to ruin out in the forest to hunt for a mystical monkey thing. I think that there needs to, there's some evidence out there that would make a person risk his entire career to come out publicly saying that he believes in Bigfoot. Yeah. Yeah. Well, this Homo Florisensis, the Hobbit man of Indonesia, just stop and think about that. That that was in 2005 was when they discovered these things.

04:54Just stop and think about if someone said, did you know, before that, did you know that 13,000 years ago, there was a type of human, a really tiny one that was hairy and sneaky and maybe stole human babies and made its own stone tools, but didn't grow any higher than three feet tall. Yeah. Get out of here, bitch. This ain't Lord of the Rings. Yeah. You're making things up. Yeah. Go roll some D&D dice, nerd. You dork. You dork. But it was real. That was a real animal. Right. They know for a fact, this is a bona fide real animal buried. It's dead, lived in tribes, made stone tools. Three feet. What is that? Is that like that? Well, it's my penis times three. Three feet. Yes. Three feet tall. It was a tiny, tiny little guy, a little, little, little creature. And we were giants. Think about that. To this three foot creature, it lived in a land of giants where people would go lumbering through its forest.

05:59This is a real thing. This is people listening to this right now should just Google search this to know that tiny little hobbit men once wandered the earth. This existed. Yes, it really did. And a very recent discovery, less than a decade. Some people say they still exist. Yes, that's the other thing, that there's reports of them. Those islands, there's so many islands in and around that area. And there are reports that these things have been discovered on these islands by people that have explored. And that the locals say they've seen them. And there's, again, the Orang Pendek, which is another tiny little hairy man that has been reported being seen by people for many, many years. So it's possible if you think of that, the size of them and then us, and then think of a Bigfoot and then think of an elephant. I mean, there's a lot of big things and there's a lot of little things on this planet.

06:55And just because we haven't physically laid eyes on a Bigfoot, we physically haven't seen a Sasquatch, we don't have a real good photo or a video of it, doesn't mean it's not real. Doesn't mean it's not real. And just because many of the people who believe in Bigfoot are several cards short of a full deck doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Just because a crazy person says it's real does not mean that it's not real. Sure. I mean, how many crazy people were talking about this hobbit man? Tons. I'm sure. I'm sure a lot of people in that area were saying, if there was a smear man, a tiny little furry man, bow and arrow, you'd be like, get out of here, bitch. A little man stole my baby. Yeah. Ridiculous, right? Nobody would ever possibly believe that. No. What I thought was interesting about the squatching, first of all, was that the guys who do it, they take it really seriously.

07:48Steve and John, they set up camera traps. They set up recording devices. They use thermal imaging. They really take it seriously. Yep. And if one day, out of all this searching, if one day they actually do stumble upon one of these things, what a glorious moment it'll be for them. It'll be the glorious moment for me. I'll go out in the street and scream. Enjoy. If one of those guys finds Bigfoot. And I would really hope it would be those guys. Me too. Even more than us. I know. And that sounds like I'm being selfless, but we don't deserve it. No. And compared to the amount of time that those guys are putting in, they have full-time jobs, and yet they have vans that are set up for squatching with solar panels on them. And they mean they have all these different pieces of technology, camera traps and time-lapse photography things and audio recorders. I mean, they really, you know, they're really trying.

08:50They're dedicated, and we need people like that. Look, you're not going to get the most sane people going out into the woods to look for Bigfoot. Until some evidence. And then it'll be swarmed with real scientists. Yeah. If something happens, and they actually get some concrete evidence where people are like, oh my god, we're dealing with a real animal, then you're going to have teams of real scientists that are in the woods. Yeah, and those guys will get arrested. You think so? Yeah, you know what? They'll get in the way of the thing. They'll quarantine the whole area, and all those guys will get hauled off. But I will say this. You know, whether or not there's a Bigfoot, if you want to turn a boring camping trip into a fun camping trip, just go out into the woods and pretend that you're looking for Bigfoot. It's the renaissance fair of camping.

09:37It's like, go out there, just believe in the possibility that there could be a Bigfoot, and start walking through the forest. Smoke some powerful Rogan weed. We probably can't talk about that. But if you go, I think that squatching is the renaissance fair of camping. It's an imaginary way that you can turn a boring camping trip into a thing that has the potential to transform human history forever. And conversely, if you go squatching and you're unsuccessful, at the very least, you went camping. You went camping. You can't lose. You went camping. I remember when I was a kid, like when my parents would drag me out in the forest to go camping. I'd rather eat cyanide. I wanted to sit in front of the TV, watch TV, be inside. I didn't want to go out into the nature. I didn't realize how pretty nature was until I'd taken acid.

10:32But if my parents had told me we're going to look for Bigfoot, that would have gotten me out of the house in a second. It's a great way to go hiking. That's the bottom line. Squatching turns nature into a fun house. And all the wood knocking and all the different howls that they do. That sort of like, it makes it like a fun game. The gifting stump. The gifting stump. And also, the other thing about those two that it showed me is how easy it is to start a religion. How easy it is to take a being that you really have no evidence for and begin to find evidence for it and things that naturally occur in nature. If you can't find a Bigfoot, if you can't find real evidence of Bigfoot, you know what you can do? You can attribute a feather in the path to Bigfoot having left something there. If you can't find Bigfoot, you know what you can do?

11:30You can say ravens are being sent by Bigfoot to watch you in the forest. There's so many things that happen naturally. The sound of birds. The sound of something falling out of a tree that sounds like a knock. Branches that have fallen together in some certain way. I hear it all right now. Yeah, it's easy. And that's the exact same thing that religious people do with God. They've got this non-existent being that they have no evidence for. A volcano explodes. God is angry. The rain doesn't come. That's God. The rain comes. We've been blessed by God. You know what one of the squash hunters told me? What? This is essentially verbatim. He said, I was out near this blackberry bush and I started hearing this bullfrog. And I was like, what is a bullfrog doing near a blackberry bush? And I thought about it later. You know what? I bet that was a Sasquatch. Exactly. Exactly. A bullfrog. He said it to my face. Yeah. Like, like,

12:30not like he was testing me. You know, he wasn't, he wasn't being silly. He wasn't pranking me. No. He wasn't seeing how far he could take it. He actually said it to my face. That's amazing. Yeah. And it's incredible when you realize that priests are squatching for God. Isn't that amazing? They are squatching for God. And there's even less evidence. Oh, yeah. Less evidence for God than there is for Bigfoot. At least they have like gigantopithecus bones. Yeah. Imagine if they had God's big toe in a factory somewhere or in a, in a museum somewhere in the Vatican. A giant mystical toenail. A giant God big toe. Yeah. And God, for sure. There was a God that lived as recently as a hundred thousand years ago. Wow. Bigfoot is more realistic than religion. Yeah. There should be building cathedrals to Bigfoot. I'd go to that church. I go to the church of the Squatch in a second. Yeah. It's all just wood knocking and howling. Yeah.

13:34That was one thing the Bobcat Goldthwait film got right. The howls. Oh, yeah. They're pretty badass. Yeah, no, that was really cool, man. And the, the, I don't want to give away the ending, but that was really cool, man. Yeah. That last little part was pretty badass. I had to press pause a few times, but that was so cool. I love the fact that Bobcat Goldthwait is such a Bigfoot nut. Look, that's, that's another interesting thing about Bigfoot, man. It is a black hole. It's a slippery slope. Bigfoot has gravity because once you open yourself up to the small potentiality of Bigfoot, you'll find your mind wandering there at weird parts of the day. Just like, fuck. And it's also like gambling where you go to a slot machine and you think, man, one more quarter could do it. I know I'm down a thousand bucks, but one more quarter and I could hit the jackpot. Yeah. This next Squatch in trip. Look,

14:22I know I'm getting divorced and I know I'm in debt, but this one last Squatch in trip, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to sell some stocks and I'm going to go out there and I'm going to just put it all in the line. A two week Squatch in trip. I'm going to get to the bottom of this. Change the world. And also, man, I'll tell you, there is, what's it called? There's animistic religions that believe that a spirit exists in every living thing. So trees have their own spirit. Leaves have their own spirit. This is like a very old way of looking at nature is to see the thing as a living being instead of just biology. To see it as one giant, non-differentiated living being. And so there's always been embodiments of the forest. If you look at mythology, you have Pan, you have the Jack of the Woods, which is this being that lives out in the forest and is an embodiment of nature. Well, maybe that's what Bigfoot is.

15:15Maybe there's something built into the human psyche that we, when we get out in nature, we project some thing out into the woods, some human personification of the wildness of life, of the wildness of nature. Something that maybe we lost a long time ago. And that's what Bigfoot is. It's just this thing that human beings long for that reminds us of the time when we did used to live in the forest. We used to be Bigfoot. That's what's wild about it. We used to be this thing existing in nature, depending on foraging and finding fish in the streams. That was us. So maybe that's what people see when they're looking for Bigfoot. They see what we used to be. That's a great point. Because when you're out there in the woods, like the Pacific Northwest, it's so just lush and rich and filled with wildlife. You start thinking, could I exist out here?

16:07If I was separate from society and civilization and grocery stores and automobiles and gas stations, could I keep my body alive out here? And I'm not sure if I could. I've watched that show Survivor Man, where he goes out into the woods, and that guy is an expert survivalist. And he scratches by for five or six days before they eventually rescue him. And if it wasn't for those rescue people, eventually he would starve to death. And he's an expert survivalist. And he's got tools. He's got like a pocket knife usually or something that he can find and put together. If you're by yourself naked like Bigfoot. Or think about your French Bulldog. Imagine taking your French Bulldog and dropping your French Bulldog off in the middle of the Adirondacks. How long would that French Bulldog survive without its wet food and its chew toys?

17:03Maybe, maybe two hours before that thing gets sucked up like a sandwich at a carnival. That thing would be dead in a second. And that used to be a wolf. If you trace that gene line of the French Bulldog all the way back, you get a wild wolf. A thing that can exist just fine out in nature. It's just fine out there. In the same way, that's what we are. We made a trade-off. You know? We lost our fur. We lost the having tough feet and tough hands and being able to climb trees. That's the big trade-off so that we can sit and play Xbox and enjoy air conditioning. We lost it. It's true. You know? But we used to be that. We used to be Bigfoot. And I think there's a thing inside everybody that longs for that time. If you trace Bigfoot, if you trace the early hominids, and you go all the way forward to some fat kid on Prozac sitting on the couch playing Call of Duty, that's the same as a French Bulldog. Yeah.

18:02If you could show a wolf, this is what you're going to become. Something that can barely breathe. It's so... Farts all the time. Lies on its belly and just farts. It's just a walking whoopee cushion. It just farts and can't breathe. Used to be a wolf roaming the wild. Yeah. Now it's not protecting your house. It's not doing anything. No. It's barely able to stay alive. Barely. And you have to feed it and pick it up. Yeah. You have to pick it up to put it on the couch. I want one, man. I've been looking for... I want a Squatch. I'd love a little Squatch. A mini Squatch? No, a big one. Imagine having a Squatch in your backyard. Nobody would ever try to break into your house. Except the Squatch. Yeah, but you just feed them. That would be an... I would not. You would do that. By the way, you would do that. You've got like a pack of deadly pimples. I remember when you bought all those dogs, man.

18:56Going to your house is terrifying. And you've got to play it cool like you're not scared of your giant death hounds. My dogs are nice. I don't have those dogs anymore. What happened to them? I just have the big one. Didn't they all eat each other? Well, a few fights. Shit went wrong. They ate each other? Well, one killed a couple of them. The other one killed a couple cats. Man, that was terrifying going to your house, man. That was scary when you got those dogs. Those mastiffs? Those deadly mastiffs? No, the mastiff's sweet. He's not worried. You don't have to worry about the mastiff. It's the pit bulls. No, man, you don't have to worry about the pit bulls or the mastiff. But if you get too stoned, dogs can tell that you're paranoid. Easy target. Yeah, it's true, man. I went to my friend's house recently and I'd eaten a little piece of this chocolate bar.

19:50I went to Johnny Pemberton's house and I was like still stoned and paranoid. And I went to his house and I walked in. He's got just a puppy. And I walk in. I'm so paranoid. The puppy looks at me. He's like, ah. Starts growling because I'm scared as shit. You're sweating. You have like a layer of sweat slime oozing off you like a fish. You're just shitting your pants in fear of a puppy. I've got that Southern lawyer armpit sweat. Oh my, oh my, it's hot today. Oh dear. And then, yeah, nothing. And that only amplifies the paranoia to have a puppy that hates you. Because now you're like, what's it see inside of me? It must see it sees the darkness. It knows. It knows I'm a piece of shit. Yeah. And it starts eating your self-critical parts. Just start analyzing your own life. Man, it knows I got to pay my cable bill. Nature knows I suck. Yes. It knows about my tax problem. Yeah. Yeah.

20:54It knows I got jerked off in a massage parlor. The dog doesn't like it. Yeah, it hates it. And dude, that is fine with a puppy. But when you got it. Getting jerked off in a massage parlor? Yeah, that's fine. The dog sees no problem with that. It's a human issue, right? Yeah. Anybody could pet a dog and jerk it off and they don't care. The dog would like it. Yeah, if you can pet a dog, he'll let you jerk them off. Dogs are notorious sluts. Oh, there's entire. Hold on a second. What are you doing, man? Do you know what you're doing here? Do you know what show you're on? We just missed. This shit would have been precious, man. This would have been prime time. Jerking off dogs. You son of a bitch. You ruined everything. We're talking about jerking off dogs. Something unusable completely. Okay. Okay. Let's just wrap this up. The squatching was very fun. The idea behind it is very interesting. And I remain open.

21:50I give myself a tiny window of possibility. Maybe a 10% possibility that there's a Sasquatch really alive out there. But as far as my hope, my hopes and dreams, it's 100%. My hopes. Yeah. I have 100% hope and dreams. I mean, it's not something that I've abandoned. But the reality of the situation is bleak. I think it's a bleak situation. But I don't think it's as bleak as I thought it was when I first went into it. And that's, to me, very exciting. What made you change your mind at all? What made you expand the possibilities? Meldrum? Yeah. Talking to Meldrum. Because when he started explaining the footage that you hate. But he started explaining why the thing would walk like that. And then when he started explaining how these footprints are very detailed. And then when I put that together with the information that we found. That there are these little people that used to exist.

22:46And then the thing with this ground parrot that just showed up out of the blue. And all the new creatures that show up out of the blue from time to time. I just realized that it was very prideful of me to just bugle out there's no Bigfoot. I realized that for me to say that was as unscientific as it was for me to say that there is a Bigfoot. So I live in the mystery. Live in the mystery, Duncan Trussell. Live in the mystery. That's a good way to wrap it up. Oh, cool. Aliens. There's an alien in the sky above us. Yeah. He's a Mexican without a green card. That is weird. I don't know if he's flying over. I don't know. Huh? Why don't Mexicans fly over? Yeah. They don't have planes. No, but it seems like you could get one as easy as you could get one of those buses. Maybe. But I think they monitor airspace pretty closely. Right. You don't want to get shot out of the sky. Right. By the federales. Yeah.

23:54It's weird, those fucking tunnels, man. Yeah. It's interesting that we call people from other countries aliens, too. Yes. You know? They're illegal aliens. Yeah. There's outer space aliens, and then there's... But everyone who's not like your country neighbor is an alien. Yeah, that's right. Exactly. Canadians are aliens. Yeah. It's so stupid because they're humans. Yeah. Like, we act as though there's some different being altogether. That's an old idea, you know, that if someone isn't from your country, they might not even be human. They just look human. Well, that's the idea of calling them aliens. Yeah. They're alien to this area. Yeah. Like an alien species that's been dropped into a lake. Yeah. Like the snakehead fish that's been devastating these freshwater lakes. Yeah. It's like so hardy and eats everything and destroys everything. Yeah. Kind of like what the white people did in North America. We're aliens.

24:50Yeah. We're the aliens. But the American Indians were aliens as well. Sure. Native Americans came from Asia. Yeah. And the people in Asia came from Africa. And the people in Africa came from monkeys. And the monkeys came from- Single-celled organisms. Yeah. Which came from- Bacteria. An asteroid that smashed into the earth. So we are aliens. Everyone's an alien. Yeah. Well, if you follow that logic, yeah, every single living thing is alien because if that's if panspermia, that theory of- Yes. Amino acids and the building blocks of life existing in asteroids and then landing in earth after they slam into another planet. It's really interesting. It's like a game of life leapfrog all throughout the galaxy. All the way back to the Big Bang. Yeah. You don't even need the meteor smashing. I mean, the earth is alien. The earth came from some interstellar dust that congealed at some point.

25:41It all goes back to some flash of light. Billions of miles away. Billions of miles away. So yeah, we are aliens. Now, the way that our spaceship works might be different from the way spaceships work on Star Trek. The way our spaceship works is it grows food and it grows people. That's our spaceship. The spaceship itself produces the life form. But to look at the wild insanity of where we came from and then to be like, oh, no, no, no, there's no aliens. Couldn't be. Nothing out there. That's madness. If life emerged from the congealed dust particulates that came from the explosion of stars and the spinning, the centrifuge action of this ball-like thing was able to spit, eventually to spit pinkies and brownies out of the thing, then God, people, there are many colors of people. But to think that just that if our planet is able to produce life just from spinning really

26:48fast around a star to think that this isn't happening in other parts of an infinite universe is madness. And then the real mindfuck is the idea that our planet spawns this intelligent creature that's insanely curious and eventually starts playing with nuclear power and then antimatter and then figures out how to make a Big Bang machine. And then one day one of them just goes, fuck it, I'll press it. And he hits a button and boom, the whole universe implodes back down into the size of the head of a pin and explodes out again in a totally new Big Bang every 14, 15 billion years or so. Yeah. And this is not that idea. That idea is written about in the Upanishads and the Vedas. This is something they write about. It's they say that Brahman, it's compared to an inhalation and an exhalation, that the universe is a breathing thing and that sometimes the universe expands itself in this infinite outward breath.

27:44And in that outward breath, all created beings form, which are a differentiation of this unitive field of consciousness. And then there's the in-breath where everything comes back in and forms back to that head of the pen that science says the Big Bang is. Of course, you know, there is new ideas about that. The whole head of the pen idea or the condensed super particle that they say created the Big Bang. A lot of people wonder if that's the case or if maybe the Big Bang is the effect of one universe brushing up against the universe and poking into it and creating the outrush of matter that is the Big Bang. We really don't know. Yeah, that's a fascinating one. The idea that there's parallel universes like bubble baths. They're like little circles in a bubble bath, but they're infinite and each one of them is its own self-contained universe and they collide and they're just millimeters from each other,

28:41millimeters from the other universe. And then they boom, boom. They collide and that's what creates all the energy. Yeah, that's what it is. It's just an endless transfer of energy from universe to universe. Yeah, that's what it is. Just this giant living cluster of bubbles. For our pea brains, the idea of the universe itself being semi-infinite or infinite or fractal, the idea of there being infinite amount of infinite universes, it's too hard to wrap our heads around the fact that, well, it all also might be breathing. It might be going out, expanding, and then contracting for infinity. Yeah, and that thing that you were talking about, the way that we explore, the way that we have this desire to understand and to investigate and examine, that that's the original impulse. It's just that impulse is being channeled through our particular neurologies.

29:39But that impulse is in all living things, that desire to experience and to explore and to learn. That this is this giant, massive bubble cluster of intelligence is God trying to understand what the fuck is happening. Because everybody acts like God knows everything. Everybody just thinks, oh, if it's God, it knows everything. Why? Maybe it's just like us. It's only a trillion, billion to the trillionth squared times more aware and even that much more confused. Well, how about one greater? How about whence intelligent life eventually reaches a point where it can control all matter and has access to all the knowledge in the universe itself? Maybe it becomes God. And maybe that's what God is in the first place. And maybe this coalescence, this synergistic thing that's happening right now with humans and technology is because technology is the only way we can actually become God biologically. Right.

30:39Is that we have to figure out a way to manipulate matter to the point where we take what we call consciousness and put it into something that can develop infinitely faster than our simple biology can. And that that, in turn, becomes a universal consciousness. Yeah. And that that is the origins of the universal consciousness. It's not just that we share space and that we share this morphic field, but, in fact, that all of our minds will eventually join as one super mind. And that super mind will be the very creator of the universe that has spawned us itself. Yes. And that'll be some 14-year-old squid alien playing a super advanced Xbox. Jacking off on top of a windmill. Yeah. Jacking off on top of a windmill. And that's all, folks. No, man, that idea is really cool. This is an idea Alan Watts talks about when he says, imagine if you could experience everything.

31:35Like, imagine if you were some kind of God-like being and anything that you could think, you could instantly create. Anything you wanted to experience, you could instantly experience. If you wanted to know what it was like to be everything, you could feel that. If you wanted to know what it was like to be an alien flying through space, exploring space, you could be that. But eventually, eventually, Alan Watts says you would get so bored of being able to do anything you wanted to do that you would be like, hmm. I wonder what it's like to not know that I can do everything. I wonder what it's like to think I'm going to die and be completely limited. And then that's when you turn into a human being. And that's when you get to experience human life. You're like, whoa, fuck, I'm going to die. I can't do anything, man. Oh, God.

32:19And then when you die or when this event happens where everything unifies and becomes one consciousness, that's when you wake up again. You're like, wow. That was nuts. I thought I was going to die. I thought I was limited. I thought I was an individual. I thought I was singular. As it turns out, I'm everything. And the whole cycle starts over again. What I found fascinating in researching aliens and in doing this show is the different attitudes about what aliens would be interested in and what aliens wouldn't be interested in. Like the guy I talked to from SETI, he seemed to believe that they wouldn't even care about the fact that we have nuclear power. Like why would the aliens hover over nuclear power? And other people think that that would be the number one thing they would concentrate on. And then other people think, well, they would have access to stop all that stuff.

33:07They can control all the power. And they're essentially waiting for us. This is like the most utopian concept. They're waiting for us to graduate. So our society and civilization stops being this fear-mongering, war-like culture. And we graduate to this next level of spiritual evolution and join the Galactic Federation. Yeah. That we become worthy. And then they're sitting there waiting for us to graduate from high school. Oh, I love that. That's really cool, man. Like they're gardeners. You know, they're like planetary gardeners and the human species is a form of biomass that they like to cultivate. And sometimes the garden grows. Sometimes it doesn't grow. But at some point, the thing inevitably gets to a place where it's about to blossom. And that's when it's at its most fragile point in time.

33:55That place where it's about to grow the flowers of the singularity or the flowers of some super advanced technology. And when that happens, that's the joining of the Galactic Federation that these New Age crystal people talk about. I think that's a beautiful idea. I think it's a beautiful idea. And I think that I don't see why not. I mean, we grow flowers. We cultivate the earth. We breed animals. Why wouldn't some super advanced intelligence take the light in turning monkeys into flying, teleporting, super technological beings? And we also have this thing where we want results like right away. You know, we want things to happen right now. Why don't the aliens land now? Why don't people get it together right away? Why do we have to continue our primitive ways and our primitive culture?

34:51But if you thought about it from the standpoint of an infinite being, why would the infinite being want to rush things? It has all the time in the world. Why does it need the results right away? Exactly. And isn't there joy in the struggle? And isn't there joy in the whole process of becoming this symbiote, this god creature? Isn't there joy in all of it slowly improving? Like, you don't want to have sex in a tenth of a second. You don't want to have a tenth of a second sex. You want to have sex for a long time so that you can enjoy it. You want it to feel good. You want to hold in your orgasm as long as you can for it to feel good. And maybe that's sort of the same idea about the universe creating consciousness.

35:37Is that the universe wanted us to slowly, over the course of billions of years, go from sludge that wiggles to people that press buttons and rockets fly through the air with nuclear bombs on the end of them. That literally splice atoms and destroy matter instantaneously, leaving the area impossible to occupy for hundreds of thousands of years. But to the universe, what's a hundred thousand years? It's nothing. It's a joke. Nothing. And this isn't, you know, in Hinduism, when they talk about the gods, they will say like a day of Brahman is like, you know, a million human years. Like one day for this being is a million billion years. So a super advanced being who knows how long the thing survives. It's a great way to look at it. It's just interesting how humans tend to ascribe human characteristics to beings that emerge from ostensibly different galaxies or even other dimensions.

36:40Or even the universe itself. The limitations of birth and death are applied to the very universe itself. Right. And really sort of arbitrarily, just because of the fact that they have the signature from the Big Bang, that doesn't mean there's not an infinite number of those that have been going on forever. Yeah. And there's no birth and death. It's just that breathing in and breathing out. Yeah. But everybody talks about one day, even our sun will die. Yes. Will it really? No. It'll create humans, man. The only way you can make a human being is a star has to explode where we are literally made out of carbon. Carbon comes from stars and all the different elements of matter that make up a human being. You literally have to have a star that blows up. So the idea that our star is going to die. No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Our star is going to blow out human seeds. Yeah. There you go. Exactly.

37:34Our star is going to radically change in the same way that everything radically changes, which is why death itself is a silly word. You know, when people say die, really what they mean is the person, the being, whatever it is, has transformed into something completely different than what it was before. And that, I mean, I know there's a biological principle to death. They say it's when we stop breathing or that when we stop, when we stop breathing, you're dead. But the reality is when you stop breathing, really what's happening is you are transforming into energy for all the tiny little microbes living inside of your intestines that are gradually going to turn you into soil. That's going to grow food for other people to eat. Not if we have anything to do with it, Duncan. We're going to formaldehyde people to preserve them. They would coat them with a thick skin of makeup. Yeah.

38:30It's very lifelike and realistic with a subtle wax-like quality to grandma's face. Isn't that hilarious? I was just thinking about that, like how funny it is that we put people in coffins, which are essentially supposed to be beds, so that people can rot comfortably in some kind of big underground couch. You know how much space we could save in graveyards if we had the guts to chop people up and put them into little bags? We don't do that. Well, how about put them into the ground and have them do what they're supposed to do in the first place? You know why we can't do that? Why? Because we want to be able to dig them up and charge people with murder. Yeah, exactly, man. That's right. And also, if we did that, there would be a swarm of goth kids descending on every graveyard just to try to dig a skull out so they didn't have to bother with popping a coffin open.

39:16But it is weird that we don't – like think of the shape of a coffin, right? We don't put – if you wanted to save space in a cemetery, then you could dig a hole deep where you could drop the coffin down like they're standing up in it. We want them to relax. We want them to relax in a nice bed. I just saw this ad, this old vintage ad for a type of vault. It's like it's an old – it's a drawing of a woman who's standing by a window looking out at the rain and it's like, don't you feel comfortable knowing that your loved one is safe from the weather? Oh, God. It's like a vault that like won't let water in there. But that's been going on forever and that's what pyramids are. They're just elaborate, ridiculous mechanisms to try to preserve the human body. Sort of. They don't really know what the hell pyramids are for. Well, they must. The mummification process for sure. Yeah, that's fascinating.

40:09Todd, you know you're not on camera, right? I know. How dare you? This Skinwalker Ranch thing. We're going to go and we're going to – there's a place in Utah. Yeah. It's called Skinwalker Ranch. And this place, it's legendary in the Bigfoot folk talk. The people that are fascinated with Bigfoot say that this is the spot where there's all these different things being worked on, that there's wormholes there. Yeah, lights. And that spaceships are coming from wormholes. So I go to their website, right? I'm thinking it's probably just a regular ranch. Everybody's just being nutty. Yeah. They have a link on the website that says the entities. What does it go? It says classifying creatures. It's skinwalkerranch.org. So I'm like, okay, now you got me. What is that? So I click on that. And it takes me to all the various types of entities that have been reported. Oh, yeah.

41:12And as simple as the spotlight and flash drones, a pulsating spherical ball of light, which could easily be ball lightning. Seems like these are like reasonable sort of either mythical explanations of natural phenomenon or just legend. Yeah. So as we go further and further, though, it gets to weird ones like the bulletproof wolf. Oh, shit. Yeah. It says the dire wolf like creature is long, dirty, mangy, gray, black hair, has a proud, intimidating and intense like presence. At this time, I am unsure if it is hostile or friendly. My impression was neither more majestic and to be feared in nature. Wait a minute. Is this this is on the Internet? Yeah. My impression was neither. You're supposed to have a comma, dummy. If you're going to talk about fucking UFOs correctly. If you're talking about metal wolves, you don't have to use appropriate grammar.

42:07May travel within the flash drones and manifest from them as seen by two researchers. Oh, as seen by two researchers. Should be legit. A bulletproof wolf that comes out of a flash drone. Well, two guys saw it, Duncan. Well, I mean, it sounds like these people are just going around with a microphone and recording people who snorted bath salts. Here's one of them. The controllers. What sounds like two adult males speaking to one another in an unknown language. These two males are typically invisible and usually overhead overhead speaking about 20 feet above one's head. They're speaking in a Native American like dialect. By the way, that's also what they attribute to Bigfoot. Yeah. It's always like a Native American. Like Native American is the way to go. If you want to go spiritual and woo-woo and, you know. Yes.

42:59If you want to talk the spirits of the sky and the space and we are in touch with the spirits of the great guardians of the universe. It's always like a Native American thing. But it is funny that they're saying that these beings talk in a dialect, which means that they're not talking in their native language when they're hovering above you. They're talking in a language you understand. Well, not only that. It means that they're so intelligent, so advanced, they can get here from other planets. Sure. But they haven't figured out how to talk without language yet. They haven't figured out how to direct communicate mind to mind. Well, I don't think Skinwalker Ranch is all about aliens. I think it's just about a lot of paranormal activity that happens. And this guy I talked to in Austin, Dr. Eric Davis, used to work there.

43:39And this guy, though I would say that he's eccentric, he did a few things when I went to visit him that made me think, oh, I don't think that this guy is a kook. And what he did specifically was he has this laboratory where they're doing all these various experiments. This is a guy who's actually trying to create a warp drive, who's trying to create a way using vacuum technology to bend space and time that creates kind of like a wave effect that a ship could ride on the crest of, somehow going faster than the speed of light. So when we went to visit this guy, he did two things that made me think, wow, I don't know how skeptical I should be about this guy, which is that he had us all these experiments running in this laboratory.

44:22One of them being they're trying to discover a way to do cold fusion, you know, which is somehow creating an infinite energy source, which is what he calls a disruptive technology. It would disrupt human society if we had an infinite energy source. But what he did was he kept pointing to his experiments and saying, this isn't working. Nothing's happening here. This cold fusion isn't working. And all of his experiments, he was like saying, we're all getting null results from these experiments, which to me is. The opposite of what all the other kooks that we've encountered on the show do. People like whoever designed this website, you could probably call this person up and say you saw on Skinwalker Ranch a tap dancing clown that can shoot lightning bolts out of his hands that turn into pineapples. And that would show up on the website in four minutes, probably. Probably.

45:13A researcher has discovered this. We should try that. Yeah, you could get it up there. We should see how many we can get on there before the guy starts catching on. It's a giant butt. It rolls through the hills. You have to watch it. Farting in your face. Yeah. It's a, yeah. But it's farts have a Native American dialect. A Native American quality. They smell like hickory. They smell like hickory wood chips. But this Dr. Eric Davis, he worked on Skinwalker Ranch because Skinwalker Ranch is a place that was bought by this eccentric guy named Robert Bigelow, who's currently working with NASA. He's developed some kind of inflatable technology where you can add, add onto the space station using like essentially like super powerful bouncy houses. You know what I mean?

46:05Like using metal in space, getting metal into space, getting construction material into space or using terrestrial construction methods in space is not only highly inefficient, it's incredibly dangerous. You have to go to spend whatever amount of time it would take to actually build things using aluminum or metal. It's dangerous. So this guy came up with a brilliant idea of having packaged inflatable crafts that you can bring into space. And the material that they're made of is much more powerful and can take the damage of micrometeorites a lot better than metal, according to Dr. Eric Davis. And so that's what Bigelow, that's one of the things he's working on right now. In other words, he's not just a kook. He's actually got satellites floating in space right now that he got up there.

46:52So he heard about the Skinwalker Ranch, heard about all the paranormal activity that was happening there and decided that he would buy it, send scientists there to study it to find out if he could find any proof of this insane stuff that so many people are reporting. And Dr. Eric Davis spent time there studying this stuff. And he said, he told me to my face, that he saw orbs floating out there, that he saw orbs floating out there that he couldn't think of any other explanation for. I asked him about the cattle mutilations. He said, no, that's, he thinks they think that's people doing that. They don't think it's aliens. He said that some of the researchers there reported seeing like wormholes opening up. And I, this guy, like, I believed him. Like, he, he actually gets contracts from the government to work on this stuff.

47:46And it doesn't serve any purpose to go on a TV show and talk about wormholes opening up. When he said, like, these researchers reported some kind of creature emerging from this wormhole. I mean, I don't understand what you have to gain as a scientist by saying things that sound like they're coming from the freakout tent at Burning Man. It's, you know, there's nothing to gain. What do you have to gain if you're actually trying to get, trying to get business as a scientist? So when I asked him this, one of the really smartest things he said is that as a scientist, that's your job. You report your observations. You have to say what you've seen. And sometimes reporting your observations means that people are going to try to discredit you. People are going to say you're crazy. People are going to, you're going to lose a lot of face. And I don't know. I believed him.

48:39There's also the reality to consider that there's a lot of people that tend to lean towards the fantastic. They tend to lean towards fantasy and they want there to be something magic out there. And their regular life is boring, man. Their wife doesn't want to have sex with them. Their dog doesn't care. There's nothing going on. I don't mean sex. I mean, just if the dog, the guy is there or not. You know what I mean? Yeah. There's like a lot of people that don't have anything exciting. That's my point. My point is that there's a lot of people in this world that they have no joy. There's nothing exciting about their occupation. Sure. There's nothing exciting about their marriage. There's nothing exciting about their neighborhood. They long for something special. And I think a lot of that goes back to our hunter-gatherer roots where every day was filled with peril and excitement.

49:27And even though there was a lot of loss of life and people didn't last as long, there was still a lot of thrill. You know, people starved to death. But you know what? Sometimes they didn't and you got an elk and everybody ate and they got by the fire and you found mushrooms and everyone took them. And there was joy and excitement. And it was a real, it was a special existence. Yeah. We've, in making everything so safe, we've kind of like smoothed all the rough spots that could trip you up in this life. We've also cut out all the fun. You know, we've cut out all the excitement. We've cut out all the worry about getting eaten by a jaguar. The worst thing you have to worry about is another idiot human slamming in you with their stupid car. That's what you have to worry about. And eventually we'll figure that out too. We'll have some magnetic field around each car so they repel each other like magnets.

50:18Yeah. And you get close and they just bounce off of each other. That's on the way. I guarantee you that's on the way. Yeah, sure. I mean, I think that there are a group of people who just get super bored and make up stories. Kids do it. Why wouldn't adults do it? They make up stories, but they lean towards the fantastic. Say there's an infinite amount of possibilities to explain any particular scenario they're experiencing. They lean towards the most fantastic of those possibilities. And then they nurture that. And then they also surround themselves with other people who are like-minded. And then they develop this sort of hive mind of bullshit. Sure. And they all sit around jerking each other off, pretending they're being abducted by aliens. Oh, he's touching my butt. Yeah. He's abducting me. Yeah. Oh, that's crazy. I'm touching your butt. I agree, man. I think you're right.

51:04I think there are clusters of psychos out there, and it's easy to find so many examples of that. And I think kids tend to do it. I can remember when I was a kid going into the house and telling my mom that I'd seen Wonder Woman. No reason to tell her that. I hadn't seen Wonder Woman. I just like- But I started lying to my mom. I'm like, yeah, I saw Wonder Woman by the- How old were you? 17. 17. 17. 17. No. No. No, I was young, man. I was like, you know, six maybe. I don't know. I was young. But I can remember telling this blatant lie to my mom. My mom being like, are you sure you saw Wonder Woman? And then I started, in my mind, I started imagining the encounter to help the lie. I could kind of imagine Wonder Woman coming up to the swing and saying hi. I could kind of see her standing there. And instead of being like, you know, you're right, mom. I'm lying. I just went deeper and deeper into the lie.

52:09That's the problem with people. It happens. But I guess when I hear that someone has taken the time to figure out a way to construct inflatable space habitats and has even managed to get those into orbit, and this is a person who has bought a ranch where other scientists who are reporting activity, when I hear that stuff, it makes me believe it a little bit more than when I hear somebody who's just a crystal gazer yapping about this stuff. When I hear that stuff, and when I hear it's Skinwalker Ranch, you can't get in there. When I hear that they have really high security and that, you know, there's reports of like government cars going in there and stuff, then to me, I start thinking, well, something must be going on there.

52:56I don't understand why a guy who's getting million-dollar contracts from NASA suddenly decides to buy a ranch and put a security perimeter fence around it where people can't get into and then become secretive about the stuff that's happening in there. Why? If you're some lying kook who just wants people to believe in aliens, why wouldn't you just send reports all the time? That website you're looking at, that's not Bigelow's website. That's somebody who thinks he's an expert on Skinwalker Ranch. That's not Bigelow. That's somebody completely different. Oh, I see what you're saying. Well, just to play devil's advocate about Bigelow, let's just assume that he's working on top-secret spacecrafts there. Sure. Why wouldn't he have high-level security? Well, you don't want people wandering up, hey, man, what you welding? Yeah. While you're putting together a stealth bomber. Right. Well, it's not just that.

53:44It's that he bought a ranch that, prior to his ownership, the people who live there were reporting all this stuff and their cattle were getting like regularly like… Mutilated. Mutilated. Mutilated. So there's some odds. And not only that, but he invited scientists there to actually study this stuff. I will tell you the part that makes me skeptical about it is every encounter that Dr. Eric Davis reported, somehow the cameras didn't work. He said that he saw these floating lights and it was filmed on security camera footage. I asked him where the footage was. He said it's in some warehouse there and Bigelow doesn't want to release it. You know, it's a classic thing, which is the person can report these experiences, but you would think that scientists that were sent to a place to investigate it would have the wherewithal to videotape this stuff.

54:35And he said, especially with this wormhole that he reported where some being climbed out, he said that the energy that gets released from this messes up cameras. And, of course, the moment you start hearing that stuff, you slide right back down into the skeptic swamp because it does seem a little curious that they don't have any footage that I know of. There might be footage from Skinwalker Ranch, but I'm not aware of it. Well, it's sort of akin to how they think that Bigfoot can sense camera traps. Yes. And that's where we're getting to with this show, unfortunately. It's more of a show on psychology than it is on anything else. As time goes on, you realize that it's more about how you sort of interpret what you view in the world than it is about what you're actually seeing. But look at the Phoenix Lights. Look at that. What is that, man?

55:27That's some massive craft that went flying over county after county. A governor reported seeing it. Come on, man. What is that? That's not some kid talking about Wonder Woman. That's lots and lots of people reporting this encounter. Okay, stop what you said there because there is evidence, video evidence of the Phoenix Lights, right? Okay, but what is the video evidence? It's just these things floating in the sky, these red lights floating in the sky. It's like very simple, nondescript, not that spectacular. You can watch the Phoenix Lights. They've shown it on national news broadcasts. It's kind of nothing. So all this other stuff is all stuff that really wasn't captured on camera. So it all falls into the same category when you go, what about the Phoenix Lights? The governor saw it. You can get all sensational with it, but then when you go, okay, where is the evidence?

56:17And you go, well, they have a video. And then you watch the video of the Phoenix Lights. You go, man, I mean, what is that? That ain't shit. Let's pull up the thing. Can you pull it up? Pull up the video of the Phoenix Lights? Find the video of the Phoenix Lights. Let's just look at it because it's stock footage. Anyone can look at it. We'll pull it up because it's something to behold because it's a huge point of discussion in UFO folklore. If you talk to people about there's Roswell and the Phoenix Lights. Those are the two big ones. Yeah. But it is amazing when you actually watch the Phoenix Lights, how nonsensational it is. How almost boring and nothing and indescript. It's just these floating light bulbs. Well, yeah, but I mean, I think it to me that I mean, I don't know. It's to me. What? Who cares to me? What? But it does seem like it could have been drones. Could have been a lot of things. Let's watch it.

57:16Okay. This is the actual Phoenix Lights. And this is the stuff that people talk about like, oh my goodness, the UFOs are here. Well, look at what we're actually seeing. You're actually seeing some lights floating above Phoenix. Yes, that's kind of interesting. But you know, it's not that interesting, man. I mean, there's some lights floating above Phoenix. But those lights are connected. I mean, the idea is that those lights are connected to one craft. No, that's not the idea. No, they are. You see, because you see them. There's a bunch of them. The idea is that there are several different things going on. There's these things floating. And there's also this triangular thing that's floating in the air. But what you're seeing here is these things that are floating in the sky and a new one keeps lighting up. That is weird. It is definitely weird. But it's not something that human couldn't do.

58:09If we had drones, I mean, they keep popping up. A new light keeps popping up. Look, man. If somebody's doing that as a hoax, why didn't they keep doing it? That's something crazy up there, man. It might not be a hoax. It might be experimenting with a new technology. And it wasn't far enough away to be out of the view of the people. It might be experimenting with a psychology study to see what would happen if you have these non-define lights flying over a major metropolitan city. And in clear view of everyone who lives there, what's the reaction? How do people react to this? What's the fallout? But I've seen videos of drones going up in the air. And they bob. Those things aren't bobbing. Right. But what are they doing? They're just sitting there. They're sitting there, which is even more bizarre. I mean, yeah. Yeah. Like, how do you do that? Imagine the wind up that high with something that big.

59:07To have stabilizers that make it stay completely immobile floating there in the sky. If those were drones, there would be movement. That thing's connected. And the size of that thing is tremendous. Whatever that thing is, is very, very big. But it's moved up and down. Those lights have moved up and down in this video. It doesn't look to me like they're individually moving. It looks like they're all connected to one craft. Well, if you go back to the beginning, though, the way they are, it's not in, like, one line. In fact, they're stacked on top of each other a little bit. Jamie, take it back to the very beginning, if you would. If you look at it very early on, when you start to see these lights, they're not simply all along a straight line. Like, one of them was above the other one. See, like, there's two on the right-hand side. Yeah, that's the, that's, that's. See, see that?

59:59A bunch of them together there. See all that? Yeah, that's a curve. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe it's like somebody released a cluster of these drones. And then they fly out with these lights on them and they stabilize. I think it's, look, just from my unscientific perspective, that is, those aren't drones. I mean, you can look up a video of drones, like, at night, floating, and look at what that looks like. You should compare it to that. Because I've seen this video of what drones or balloons or a blimp. But drones can take on a million different forms. I mean, the idea that, you know, the word drone is like the word drug. I mean, it could be, it could have a lot of different applications. It could be a lot of different things. Well, look, here's the, here's the bottom line. Again, it's more likely that that's a terrestrial craft than it's a non-terrestrial craft. That's true. You can't argue with that.

60:52It's more likely that that's something that the government created or someone doing a hoax. But the reports of that thing and the distance that it traveled and the consistency of the shape and the many reports, if that's a, if that's a hoax, it's an elaborate hoax. And whoever's doing the hoax could probably make a lot more money selling shit to the government than freaking out rednecks. Forgive me. I don't think everyone in Phoenix is there. Phoenix is not filled with rednecks. How dare you? Well, it's so hot there. You go nuts. Their necks do get red. Your brain turns to jam. It can. But they have air conditioning. You know, they're not savages. Yeah, but I know that if you have to walk out to your car, if you get sunstroke walking to your car, you start slowly. Your brain fries a little bit. Didn't this stuff happen in September? It was relatively cool. What's that? Didn't this happen in September?

61:40I don't know, man. For the sake of what I'm saying, it needs to happen in the middle of summer when there's a power shortage. No AC. What I'm saying is, whatever that is, it was novel and special and super bizarre. And what you're saying, which is, I think, the best point is, well, where's the footage from Skinwalker Ranch? Where's the footage? Where's Bigelow's footage? Where's footage of weird things happening there? Well, look at this, though. The Phoenix Lights, if you keep watching, those lights just slowly fade out, which would sort of lend to the theory that these were actually just flares. No, no. That's just one shot, man. That thing traveled several counties. There's videos of that thing all over. That's not just from one spot. That thing moved. Okay, let's see if you got to look for best version of Phoenix Lights. See if you can find another one, Jamie. I think it's something to think about.

62:37You know, the idea is something to think about. The idea that that was some sort of extraterrestrial spacecraft that decided to hover over Phoenix. One thing that Eric Davis said, which was interesting, is that these beings, whatever they are, they're gathering intelligence. They're trying to, they're observing us for some reason. They don't feel like necessarily communicating with us. They're observing us, you know? Maybe they fuck up from time to time. Maybe they screw up and something crashes in Roswell or something appears in the night sky and an alien gets fired because he fell asleep at the wheel or whatever they have. Who knows? I'll do you one better.

63:17Maybe their idea is that if you're dealing with an incredibly intelligent human being population that has nuclear power, mass communications, the ability to send video and photographs through the air and instantaneously arrive across the globe, maybe these beings need to be baby fucked. Maybe you need to slowly show them about UFOs. Gentle, gentle, gentle. Gentle, gentle. Roswell is already talking about extending our life that if you could live to 2045, you know, you're probably going to live forever. You're going to live to a thousand years. What if you're dealing with a being that has already accepted that as a reality and it is planting a seed and it's slowly planting a seed here on earth and that it allows those spacecraft to crash in a place where it knows there's going to be a military. Yeah. It's going to be really quiet about it. Sure.

64:39And that they allow these lights or they choreograph these lights flying over Phoenix and landing. Or maybe they look at it like contamination. You know, like when we send the Mars probe up to Mars and we try to keep it from all earth microbes to not contaminate Mars. Maybe they look at showing themselves to us as a form of psychic contamination. Maybe they don't even want us to know it all. I think it's more likely if there are these beings that they mess up just like any other being does from time to time. They just mess up. There's mistakes in the program. They're lazy workers. Yeah. Why not? There's people they hire and they just do a shit job of intergalactic travel. Yeah. They're like shitty intergalactic greyhound bus drivers. Yeah. Exactly. They just suck. Look at it turn around. This is another video of the Phoenix lights. Look at how stable those lights are, man. Yeah. It is kind of interesting.

65:35You know, the idea of them being stable is interesting. But if we can split atoms with a bomb that we drop out of a propeller plane, I don't think it's that impossible to create something that can hover in the sky like that and stay stable in a straight line. Look, of course. Definitely there's no proof that we don't know where it came from. All we know is that a massive thing that seems to be a connection of lights on some form of craft appeared over Phoenix and it got caught on video by a lot of different people. We do know that. So what that thing is, who knows? Occam's razor says it's the government or it's some kind of military test or something like that. But you'd think a military test, there's plenty of space to do that shit where people don't see it. Hmm. And here's another. Let's throw this into the hat.

66:28If you were an extraterrestrial intelligent being and you were coming here from another planet to observe Earth, where would you go? Well, I would want to go to where this dude lives where he's making inflatable bouncy houses for space. Yeah. I want to check out that cat. I want to go and freak out this dude who's got a billion ones and zeros and is spending all of it on UFO research and space travel research. The problem with that is he bought the ranch from just cattle farmers. So what? So he sets up? The activity was already happening there before he bought the ranch. Yeah, but how much of that is horse poo? How much of that, the activity before that, it's not true? Well, I don't know, man. But, you know, the difference between this and Bigfoot is that we already have much more compelling footage than we had for Bigfoot. Like, just that. It's like, what is that?

67:21And then of all the UFO footage, let's say that 2% of it is like that. That's still pretty compelling. Because remember, I think it was in China or Japan, I think it was China, some giant craft started appearing. And I think there's footage of that, too. This all seemed to be happening at the same time, where people said maybe the government's experimenting with some massive stealth craft. And it's also interesting that as our technology is improving and our ability to record things is improving, subsequently, also, our ability to fake things is improving. Right. And you could fake it on a laptop. Sure. A person on a laptop can make a very convincing video of some paranormal activity, whether it's a UFO or a ghost or, you know, name it.

68:07Well, and even if you experience it yourself, even if you're standing in Phoenix and you look up and you see this thing go by, you're still just dealing with your optic nerve. You're still dealing with your limited human senses. The truth is you'll never know. You'll never know unless you got lucky enough to get abducted and sucked into one of these ships and saw it for yourself. There's no way that you can know for certain what these things are. We just know that this is phenomena that happens. This is one of the things on the website that describes on the Skinwalker Ranch website. The portal. It says, I have seen this firsthand, but I have possibly seen radiation from it. First of all, if you write like that, I'm not listening to you. Okay. I have seen this firsthand, but I have possibly seen radiation from it. That's a sentence. Yeah. What the fuck does that mean, dude?

69:14I have seen this firsthand, but I have possibly seen radiation firsthand. Yeah. What the fuck are you saying? Nothing. Are you saying I haven't seen this firsthand or I have seen? It says I have. Oh, it says I have never seen this. Oh, I read it wrong. So what? Where's the picture? Even if you did read it wrong. There's no picture. There's no picture. I'm joking around about the whole thing, but because above that is sentient mist. Oh, boy. Described by Bigelow researchers as a neurological electricity, this unique entity is completely black in color, takes the intangible form. These motherfuckers watch Lost too many times. Takes the intangible form of a thick smoke. The smoke is described like a disembodied skin of a black electrified energy that possesses an intellect. Theories hold that this is a pre-transitional embodiment of a not yet formed entity as it emerges from a portal or flash drone.

70:14Oh, excellent theory. I'm sure peer-reviewed. I'm sure it's been peer-reviewed. The shapeless, malleable mist will eventually mold itself into a local animal or humanoid. It really does read like the instruction guide for an Xbox game. Like these are the things you're going to fight. Exactly. That's a video game. I mean, come on, man. The smoke is eventually going to mold itself into a local animal. It's going to be a squirrel. So those squirrels that you see that are just like eating nuts and you go, hey, Mr. Squirrel, that's an alien man. Right. He's spying on you from another planet and sending data to the NSA of outer space. Yeah. It's that website does not seem very credible at all. What we need to do, man, is we need to go to Skinwalker Ranch ourselves. We need to go and bring some night vision equipment, scan the skies, talk to the locals, see if it's hooey. Who knows, man?

71:20I mean, it might be one of those things where we get there and we see a bunch of crazy shit. Yes, exactly. That's the only way you could know. You never know. You never know. And at least we'll have the experience that we could talk about and everyone watching can think that we're liars, too. Because that's what would happen. Yeah. That's the funny thing about it is if we go there and have some kind of experience and report it, even if we catch it on camera, there's still going to be something like, nah. We're comedians. Yeah. Why would they believe us? Yeah, exactly. If you're not going to believe a scientist working on a warp drive or somebody who's creating inflatable craft for NASA, no one's going to believe two stoner comics when they report seeing flashing lights. Dude, I swear we saw it. By the way, we have a new show coming out on SyFy.

72:04It's called Joe Rogan Questions Everything with Duncan Trussell and Irish Fear. And what we're going to do is we're going to try to find mysteries. And look, we found one. Yeah. Yeah. So what? No, it doesn't mean it's not real, man. Jesus could come climbing out of a hole at Skinwalker Ranch and give us both handjobs. Well, you know, it's probably just a hippie. Yeah. It's probably just a clever gay hippie. I'm Jesus. A clever gay hippie that climbs out of a squirrel's asshole. And he appears as mist until he forms into Jesus. Yeah. The classic Jesus. Robes, hands outstretched. Each hand has a cock in it. God. God, do you know how crazy that would be if Jesus came back and was really gay? Yeah. If Jesus came back and just all he wanted to do was give handjobs. Yeah. But they were amazing. Yeah. You would be like, you were really skeptical. You're like, why would I let him jerk me off? Jesus.

73:07You're not going to say no. If Jesus wants to give you a handjob, you're not saying no. Yeah. He'd be like, listen, I'll tell you all about spirituality and enlightenment. But first, I want to jerk you off. And when your cum sprays out, it turns into babies immediately. No, it's rainbows. Oh, yeah. Just sparkling rainbows. Smells like flowers. As soon as you cum, you're instantly as gay as Jesus. Yeah. Well, I mean, how do you go back? It's hard. Yeah. When he jerks you off and it's way better than sex with a woman, you have a choice to make. It's not even a choice. Okay. We have maps of SkinwalkerRanch.org. There's maps of where the most activity is taking place, Duncan, which is very important. You know what? The problem with a website like that is once they've been talking about some mist that can congeal into an animal, then everything else becomes invalidated.

74:01It feels like whatever this website is is not the right place to go to. Well, have you ever seen how big Skinwalker Ranch is? No. It's enormous. I believe it's more than 2,000 acres. I think we should look at the Wikipedia for Skinwalker Ranch before we look at this Freaks Mushroom website. Because I think Wikipedia has got a pretty accurate description of what's going on at Skinwalker Ranch. Do they? Yeah, because I looked it up. Okay. What does Wikipedia say? I can't remember. My main understanding of Skinwalker Ranch comes from Dr. Eric Davis. Okay. It says, according to local legend, Skinwalker Ranch, also known as Sherman Ranch, is a property located approximately 480 acres southeast of Bower, Utah, that is allegedly the site of paranormal and UFO-related activities. Its name is taken from the Skinwalker of Native American legend. Okay. Let's see what the hell the Skinwalker is. You ever heard of that?

75:01Nope. Okay. Let's see that. Skinwalker. Boom, boom, boom. In some Native American legends, a Skinwalker is a person with the supernatural ability to turn into any animal he or she desires. You know what that really is? What? Peyote. Yeah, right. That's what that is. Is there peyote out there? Hell yeah. Oh. San Pedro cactus, son. Wow. All day. Okay. To be able to transform legend sometimes requires that the Skinwalker wears a pelt of the animal, though this is not always considered necessary. So they get high. They see a guy with a fur coat. They think it's a bear. We're out. Sure. Solve that one. Sure. Thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome, Native Americans. You can drop the silliness. Hey, man. Back when you had no TV and you did have peyote, this is the kind of things you believed. Yes. Claims about the ranch first appeared in the Salt Lake City, Utah, Desert. Deseret? It says Deseret. Deseret. It says Deseret.

76:02D-E-S-E-R-E-T. News. Is that correct? That sounds right. It is actually correct. It's the Deseret News. Hmm. I wonder why they call it that. Desert Gazette. No, it's the Deseret News. That's what I'm saying. It's a conjunction. It's a Mormon term. Oh, it's a Mormon term? Deseret's a Mormon term? Silly bitches. Bunch of voodoo fuckheads. Anyway. First appeared. Claims about the ranch first appeared in Salt Lake City, Utah, Deseret News, and later in Alternative Weekly, Las Vegas Mercury, as a series of articles by journalist George Knapp. Okay. George Knapp is one of those guys that's always involved in UFO stuff. And fringe stuff. So, all of a sudden, I'm going, huh? You know, he's one of those Area 51 dudes. Knapp and co-author Colm Kelleher subsequently authored a book. Oh, a book which they're selling. Which they describe the ranch being acquired by the National Institute for Discovery Science, NIDS.

77:02That's Bigelow. Yes. To study anecdotal sightings of UFOs, Bigfoot-like creatures, crop circles, glowing orbs, and poltergeist activity reported by its former owners. The ranch located in... Good luck with this one. U-I-N-T-A-H. Uinta. Uinta. Uinta. Uinta. Uinta County. Uinta County. Uinta. Is that what it is? How do you say it? Uinta. Uinta. You sure? Yeah. Okay. Okay. The ranch located in West Uinta County, bordering on the Oot Indian Reservation, was popularly dubbed the UFO Ranch due to its ostensible 50-year history of odd events said to have taken place there. According to these folks, they saw or investigated evidence of close to 100 incidents that include vanishing and mutilated cattle, sightings of unidentified flying objects or orbs, large animals with piercing yellow eyes, that they say were not injured when they were struck by bullets. That's the bulletproof wolf. Steel wolf.

78:15And invisible objects emitting destructive magnetic fields. Among those involved, the retired Army Colonel John B. Alexander, who characterized the NIDS effort as an attempt to get hard data using standard scientific approach. However, the investigators admitted to difficulty obtaining evidence consistent with scientific publication. Duh. Yeah. But that right there, that admittance is what lends them credibility. The people who don't say stuff like that are the people who you shouldn't trust. But when you have scientists saying, yeah, we couldn't really find the evidence for some reason, it lends a little bit more credibility to reports. Especially when I talked to one of the scientists, Dr. Eric Davis, and he said that he saw something with his own eyes. And I really don't see why that guy would have any reason to lie to me.

79:09Well, skeptic James Randi awarded Bigelow a Pegasus Award for funding purchase of the property for what he termed a useless study of a haunted ranch in Utah. James Randi is like such a douche. Yeah, he seems like it. He seems like a real party pooper. Yeah. So what a party pooper, man. The guy's got a billion dollars, wants to buy a UFO ranch. Why are you going to give him an award? I'm going to give you the Pegasus Award. A Pegasus is a pig that flies. Flying pig. Get it? Tongue in cheek. When pigs fly, and it's awarded by noted skeptic James Randi. But shouldn't Randi be happy when the scientists report that they didn't find any evidence? No, because his ego is wrapped up in debunking things. And if he can glow attention to himself by giving out an award. Yeah. If UFOs did exist and he found evidence, he'd probably sweep it under the rug. Right. Nothing to see here. Yeah. Let's keep the foundation going.

80:07Yeah, right. You know, I mean, obviously, probably not. Probably be shit in his pants and start apologizing. Yeah. Probably be like, it would be like a psychedelic experience. It depends on what kind of alien it was. Well, if it was like some close encounters of the third kind type shit, that would be a pretty psychedelic experience. If a gigantic... Yeah. If that just hovered over the desert floor and these little tiny dudes with giant heads and big black eyes came out and started talking to us. Would you get on the ship? Nope. I think that's the funniest thing. That guy just gets on board. That's so stupid. Why would you do that? And you're stuck with these little assholes forever. And then they just eat you. Do you think they even have jokes? They have no jokes. That's how they go hunting. There's no comedy clubs in space. They probably don't have any porn. And if they did, it's them fucking.

80:53And the way they fuck is probably with their fingers. They probably handshake each other and fall down, spasm and orgasm. Their big heads, the reason why they have big heads, the outside of it is a cushion. From when they black out and they shake hands and cum, they fall and their big heads bounce like a fucking big balloon. It's to protect their brains inside. It's like a ball bouncing. You wouldn't get on a ship? No fucking way. I like people. I'm really happy. I'm a person and I like people. I don't need to go to space. I think it would be cool to see it. It would be cool to look at the ship. But what if you're going to take me like a monkey in a zoo? Do you think those chimps want to be in the zoo? The fuck they do. Of course they don't. And why would they differentiate between the way we treat intelligent animals like dolphins and throw them in a fucking swimming pool?

81:41Why would they decide to treat us so much better than the way we've treated everything that we see? Right. You think when a dolphin ends up on a SeaWorld boat, it thinks it's the same as being on a UFO. And it's super intelligent. Man will mind. It's probably like, these wonderful beings are taking me to paradise. The next thing you know, they spit it out in some piss-soaked pool or they got to do flips for toddlers. Exactly. We see a mountain lion eat a dog and we shoot that mountain lion. We justify murdering this animal because this animal murders. If we see us imprisoning dolphins, if these aliens see us imprisoning dolphins, why wouldn't they imprison us? Oh, these guys are dicks. Maybe aliens only should go to SeaWorld and the zoo and just scoop up zookeepers and trainers. Scoop up the whole audience. Everybody's guilty.

82:31All the kids clapping their hands as these super intelligent beings that used to be able to swim through an infinite, practically infinite sea with their tribe and their family are now doing embarrassing tricks for fish. For shitheads. It's the worst. Yeah. Yeah, it is the worst. So I wouldn't get on board. That's how I'm feeling. There's no way. I wouldn't even think about getting on board. If they landed and they're like, would you like to come with us to another galaxy? I'd be like, bitch, get the fuck out of here. I like driving. No, man. You're in a good marriage. So do you think that's what it was at Richard Dreyfuss? He wasn't really into his family and was like, fuck these kids. I'm going to get on board. It's the ultimate thing because he knows he's wanting to get a divorce and he just is thinking, do I want to go through divorce proceedings or fly to Alpha Centauri with these watermelon heads?

83:23Do you know that Steven Spielberg said that if he made that movie today after having children, he would do it differently? What would he do? He wouldn't leave his children and that he wouldn't have had Richard Dreyfuss get on board the spaceship. And that was something that a single man would do and that a person who has children wouldn't do. And that, to me, makes all the sense in the world. True. Because that's, that's, I kind of thought that when I watched it, I was like, man, that guy's just leaving his kids. Like, that's kind of fucked up. Give me a break, man. There's a lot of guys who walk into casinos like Dreyfuss walked into that UFO. Yeah. They just go wandering in with a smile on their face. See you later, brats. I'm going to the slots. It's true. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. And really kind of similar.

84:08That's an alien environment as well. Yeah. I mean, where do you ever get that many electronic noises all screaming at you? It's a human trap. Yeah. It's like when you lay out traps for rats with cheese. That's what it does to tourists. Every fucking one of them has like a video screen above it with dancing girls and tight dresses. Yeah. And everyone's cheering when the money flows. Famous TV shows. Yeah. It's very, very hypnotic. I throw money into the slots when I go to Vegas. It grabs my attention. Yeah. And it's somehow calming. Like, it fills up so many of your senses that it really is like a weirdly calming experience to gamble. Yeah. For a lot of folks, it's incredibly intoxicating too because it goes back to that hunter-gatherer thing where we don't have any real risk in our lives. We don't have any real immediate risk reward. There's a life and death aspect to losing $1,000. Right.

84:58You're like, oh my God, that's a month of my life or that's a week of my life. Yeah. Saving. You know, like if you think about how much money can you save in a month. For most folks that are kind of getting by, if you could save $1,000 a month, that's pretty damn good. Yeah. Put away $12,000 a year. Yeah. For most folks, that's pretty good. So you're really losing a month of your life. Yes. When you gamble. Or possibly gaining a month. Right. That's a month that I can be better. Or six. Oh, this month I could buy a car. Yeah. There's a life or death aspect to that that plays upon the same instincts. Yep. They're not being fueled by this nerfed out world. Yeah. Yeah. You're right, man. You're right. We long for something. Yeah. It's true. But, you know, man, I don't, after talking to Eric Davis and when you see the footage, you might think I'm an idiot.

85:45You might just decide that the guy is not on the beam, so to speak. But I really, I don't know. When you have somebody tell you that they've seen lights, hovering lights, I don't know. I guess I'm just naive because I just, I believed him. Right. Like, he didn't feel like he was lying. It felt legitimate to me. And it wasn't even, look, if you're going to lie about a UFO story, make it big. Right. You know, why just say, yeah, I saw hovering lights. I don't think that those lights could have been a hoax. I have no way to explain it. You know? Yeah. I just didn't feel like I was being lied to. Well, I mean, that's interesting because that's the same feeling that we had when we talked to that woman, Barbara, in the corner store in Washington when she was talking about Sasquatch and her sighting. It sounds completely ridiculous if you look at it on paper.

86:39When that woman was talking to us, we were like, wow, she is believable. Yes. In a very odd way that I didn't expect anyone to be believable. Everybody else told me their UFO stories and I was like, oh, yeah, okay, that happened? Hmm. Okay, thank you for your story. But I was like, oh, but she was talking and I was like, whoa. Right. And I was sober. So that means a lot. Yeah. Man, when this Eric Davis, in a really accurate, precise way, described the math that would go into creating a warp drive and explained wormholes and then pointed out all these experiments that were getting null results and then told me that he had seen hovering lights, it made me believe him. I believe him. I think he saw something out there. I don't think it's improbable that something's out there. Maybe it's a natural occurrence. Why not?

87:29Maybe, you know, certain parts of the earth have a tendency to create very rare phenomena that humans tend to ascribe as being alien. Who knows? Maybe it is ball lightning. Maybe we'll go out there and just see ball lightning. You know what? I've never seen ball lightning. I'd love to see that. That would be very cool. If we went out there and just got ball lightning on film, I would be psyched. Yeah. I don't even know how you would differentiate between that and a UFO, though. We would probably cry UFO first. We would definitely cry UFO. We're going to say we saw a UFO if a bird flies over, probably. Let's just start lying just like they do. We should. Start doing the convention circuit. Hooking up with UFO believers. We got to get together in the hotel before and get our story straight. And you're like, no, man, I'm tired of being anal probed. Let's leave that out. Yeah, I don't want to talk about that.

88:19But listen, today we can't do that because in Utah we talked about anal probing. There's a little thing called the internet. So in Nevada you have to have been anal probed. Why did you say that? Now we've got to stick to that permanently. It's the lore. I went with the folklore. You didn't go with the lore. It's embarrassing. It's giving people... In my mind I did. Well, why did you say you liked it? I didn't say I liked it. I said I loved it. Let's go to Skinwalker Ranch, man. Cool. Let's go. We're going to go. We're going to set up cameras. We're going to bring technology. We're going to bring our friend Donnie who has drones. We're going to try to get the drones to fly over the property. Cool. Only the legal parts where it's legal to fly over. Right. Yeah. Great, man. Maybe we'll see something cool. Cool. Because I've never done anything like that in my life. Like, I've gone out and laid in a yard.

89:09I've gone out in the forest and looked up in the sky for a few minutes. But I've never actively tried to have a UFO sighting. Well, maybe we'll summon it. If you believe Dr. Stephen Greer, he thinks you can summon them. Really? Mm-hmm. How? Intent. Oh, really? Focus and intent. And they just go, hey. Wow, man. That must be why he has all that amazing footage of the UFOs you summon. So convenient. Yeah, he does. Hours of it. It's very convincing. Yeah, very convincing. That's why he changed the world. He's got fucking birds and night vision. There's a guy named Ryan Skinner, and we're going to meet him there. He's been studying Skinwalker Ranch, and he's going to show us the ins and outs and sort of give us a sense of what other people have seen there, how much of it's hooey, and what he really believes is going on. Cool. Skinwalker Ranch, baby. Here we come. Can't wait. Bring sunscreen. Does it get hot out there?

90:06Well, no. I'm saying for the electromagnetic radiation from the wormholes. Does sunscreen protect you from that? Doesn't that amazing? It does in my book. A little thin film of oil, and you get zapped by the glow around a magnetic field of a flying disk, and you're fine. Who knows, man? You know, there is some small chance that they're going to find us. There's camera equipment scattered everywhere. We're just withered up husks, our mouths open, and then a scream frozen from something that emerged. Yeah. Just like cattle mutilations. Yeah. That would be incredible. Yeah. If they had a cattle mutilation, but it was a person instead of a cattle, and the same things were done, there would be a real problem. Have you ever looked at some of those cattle mutilations? It's really, really freaky stuff. And this is, regarding the cattle mutilations, Eric Davis said that they studied this stuff,

90:55and they said it seems to be being done by humans. Again, man, when people are kooks, everything's aliens. Right. When you hear somebody say, no, that wasn't a, that was, it seems to be like, he said that the cuts were done more by a scalpel than the lasers that people report, and it seemed to be terrestrial, whatever. You know, it's a weird thing. Who knows why people are doing it? But the fact is, this guy was willing to say, that's not aliens. So that, to me, lends credibility to his report of having seen aliens out there. Interesting. Great stuff. Do you think that if we got roasted by aliens, sci-fi would be happy or sad? They'd be happy. Yeah. An alien roast? That'd be amazing. Not like, not like the Friars Club. That's what I was thinking. I was thinking it'd be like, like a roast. Like, we'd sit on the dais, and they would come up and go, there's a funny thing about Duncan Trussell.

91:49A lot of people don't know that under that fedora, there's an inflatable alien head. It's a crop circle. He wants to pretend it's a bald spot. It's actually a fairly accurate depiction of all of his favorite crop circles. Carved into his head. All right, we're gonna go. Skinwalker Ranch. Boom. Let's see what's happening. Great. What do you think? Gonna be successful? Yes or no? I think it's, I think, yes. I think we're gonna see something.