Bill Burr

00:015 4 3 2 1 yeeha Bill bur live you're looking very slick you look like a professional man like oh I was doing television this morning as I mentioned to you I I just did Colin coward show and I run out of button- down shirts that I could wear on TV CU I always go button- down jeans and whatever a nice pair of shoes I'm not a sport Co guy but I was just like I had to like go back and Google image myself on the show going what did I wear last time I couldn't tell what black shirt I had on it's like oh God I got to throw a sport coat on so I'm sure I'll get trashed for that like what are you all Hollywood now man trying to look good so yeah that's why I'm dressed up here I'm the Best Dressed Man in podcasting today you are right now for sure at this moment I I just I'm amazed that you actually look to check to see if you were wearing the same shirt yeah why do you do that for yourself you

00:57do that because the Internet it's just the internet is stop it's like why help him out I mean it's like if you're going to trash me it's like I'm going to make you work for it I'm not going to give you the layup it's such a mild trashing I mean it's coming from me I dress like a idiot you know no I mean it just you know it just it just is what it is it's just like for whatever reason I mean I I don't know I I get a kick out of doing stuff like that like H which way they going to come at me today just make them make some better at it oh I see cuz I don't want to do yeah you're baldheaded blah blah blah it's like every day it's it gets it's that's but just get somebody to come at you in a thank you to get you in a unique way um if they get me in a unique way it actually makes me laugh and then there's entertainment for me but if it's the same old tired I don't know

01:43they get me lately for my socks I didn't know that you you're not supposed to have socks that kind of cover your ankles like these are acceptable these socks are acceptable socks see that cuz they're kind of dud those were women's socks when we were kids and they had a little ball on little bunny rabbit tail on the end they were they were Chris Evers what happened remember you us should to have calf high socks those were the CF high socks and your shorts barely covers your junk that was it exactly now everybody's shorts go down their knees and their socks are non-existent yeah but the shorts are coming back up and I don't like that you don't like it no there's uh there there's there's been a lot of that and then there's that that's the anti- man man who's so comfortable with his masculinity you know those hipster douchebags so they're like literally

02:28wearing like the old running short with the slit going up the side like Macho kamacho really oh yeah who the wearing those not a bunch but I've just seen enough and you just look at the whole thing it's like they literally look like they're going to go do some Ron Burgundy sketch or something but it's how they walk around and they act like Oh no just I like these shorts I put a picture of my sneakers and my socks on Instagram the other day which is not a smart move anyway like why did I even do that I just went running for three miles and my sneakers and socks were covered with dirt but the amount of people that just shed on my socks it's like what's wrong what's wrong with they if they cover your ankles that's it what's wrong with those socks I don't know but I don't know but there is something wrong with them I don't I can't put my finger on it I don't like them either that ribbing

03:14around the ribbing the issue it's the yeah it ribbed for her pleasure at the top and then like your sneakers too like you know if you're going to go run in dirt like those are the ones that do it they look very like artsy though that looks like some my wife would appreciate if it was on a canvas you know the socks no the design on your uh your sneakers you know that Modern Art thing yeah the lines go this way and then they go that way much like life and then they intersect you know that type of and it's just like why don't you just draw a house do you ever go to LACMA the LA County Museum don't go you'll go crazy no I I I I don't I I you know I think the most important I would enjoy the tram ride up like this is fun this is cool feel like I'm in an amusement park yeah there's a lot of like Sheely dress older women with like ridiculously weird glasses like the the color of the

04:04frames is always some you know some statement you know what I mean some splash of color to let you know that they have a personality yeah and the May I'm just I'm probably just intimidated no you're not intimidated it's nonsense I went there and there I mean we've talked about this before but there's a there was a box like a plexiglass box on the ground that's it an Amber plexiglass box and I thought it was like some sort of a like maybe a stand and then like the exhibits going in on nope nope NOP the the box was the art that's it right nothing in it every art form has that every art form has their plastic box like no this is standup there it is right there this is a standup comedy special oh well it's kind of Amber a little like uh I mean I guess visite I guess but it's just a box I mean it looks like something you would go get at um Crate and Barrel I could build

04:48that you easily could build that you give me some glue and you give me the pieces that's meanwhile it's probably worth 30 grand I know and it's just like I would literally put my feet on that in a second you should you you know you got this book in front of me here dear reader Kim Jong eel he looks like the kind of person you'd run into in a museum if he had like sexier glasses that lunatic will probably somehow hear this and actually go out and get some you know that he's skinned off of a dog he's dead that's not his son no that's the Dad what's his son's name Kim Jong-un oh well it's definitely his kid they look just alike did you see they had chowing how many dumplings do they have a day everybody else in the country emaciated they looking like they just finished the tour to France these guys are walking around plump yeah like they on their six kid dad

05:37BS they're so smooth and hairless too they're just creepy I love them did you see that what's that guy's name bas8 how do you say that guy's name bosot that bosot painting that went for $110 million no it did want to see yes it did you want to see what $10 million buys you want to get grossed out this Japanese gentleman who bought it is some super billionaire character who apparently has another one that he spent 50 something billion or million on0 yeah that guy yeah that's when you're like eating in dangered species breakfast look at that stupid painting that's $10 million that looks like some I drew when I was a kid and my parents put it on the refrigerator like yeah yeah it's great there should be like notebook like you know that that confetti that hangs off the side yeah what's with the TIC TCT toe on his head too what's that about he got tic TCT toe on his head Joe

06:29it's whatever you want it to mean man it's art it's up to your own interpretation I like the blue I always found blue to be soothing uh the guy looks a little disturbed look at was him trying to find his place within the blue skies of White America it's like the left corner like he was a little kid and he he up and he just scratched over it like the A and the B but he made the B backwards and went and so he just scratched over it they just left it there like look at that what is that it's it's whatever you want it to be yeah $10 million that's what it is and there you go that's LACMA right there they would kill to have that piece hanging in there and there would be all kinds of women with weird glasses riding that tram up there to go look at it rub their chins with their gay friends look at them look at that guy lost bastard no he's killing it dude you think so yeah

07:19look at him he's in great shape look at that haircut no definitely no conditioner huh I can't tell if his hair is just starting to go Gray yeah but isn't that like a billionaire Genius Like You're such you're so good at business that you forget to put conditioner in your hair and you got like sleep coming out of your eye and some some hot hotti just like hoses you off in the morning just wear this I can't I just keep thinking there was a video that I watched the other day of Elon Musk from 1998 when he was first becoming a billionaire and uh he bought a million dooll car and he had his million-dollar car delivered with his girlfriend at the time who he got rid of I was say at the same time and you are my girlfriend put her in the trunk but it's it's so funny to see him as this uh young dork who's you know just making tons of money and his hair is all Goofy and he has

08:12this million-dollar car delivered who's this Elon Musk the guy owns Tesla Tesla oh Tesla okay did you see what you see what he's doing now but the video is hilarious have you seen what he's doing now the boring company do you know what that is make like electric Jets or something no they're boring holes underneath Los Angeles he's going to bore these earthquake proof tunnels and they're going to put Sleds on these tunnels that go 125 mil hour so you drive onto the sled it locks you in and it shoots you from like downtown LA to wherever the you're going and you know is this it Jamie so this is how it works you drive onto this sled and it drops you down this guy just gets it look at this it drop drops you down below the surface of the Earth and now what are these all those other sleds so your car is in amazing I want that to happen it's going to happen this crazy he's going

09:05to make it and these sleds I mean you can't crash into anybody so they can go stupid fast so they're going 125 miles an hour now now now they're created by men so at some point somebody's going to not tighten something down well those Teslas don't have the best uh service like record as far as or reliability record Sam Harris has broke down twice already and I know other another guy who got one and the handle stopped coming out like you know you go near it and handle comes out you got to break into your own electric car but look at this another guy gets to get in there there's going to be a line traffic jam to get onto these things but look at this passageway system that he's devising it's going to be crazy there's going to be these passageways all throughout the bottom of the earth so underneath the surface of of Los Angeles will be all these treets but of course

09:54it's going to cave in right it's going to it's got to somehow compromise the structure of the city right all those buildings sitting on top of it uh I don't know if anybody can figure it out would be I think that's beyond my uh my background I well you know was most more even more amazing than that is that Japanese Bill billionaire looked like the Japanese Charles Bronson if you go back I love Charles Bronson he does a little bit he does he looks tough like Charles Bronson in the mechanic like that one I've seen all his movie I love all that he I hav watched his cologne ad that he did over there he did a colog ad oh yeah where he saw he saw the uh you saw the softer side of him oh yeah he was like taking his shirt off he was spinning around this apartment yeah it was very not Charles Bronson that's back when stars would do for some reason only in this country was it hurt your career

10:42if you did a commercial but you could always overseas you know do something like that you could just it used to hurt their their career but it doesn't seem to anymore like no not only does it not now it's like a move now it's like why aren't you just going up vacuum vacuuming up this cash yeah like now Matthew MCC look at him look at that I'm telling you I nailed it he does he's got a Charles Bronson he's got to work on the hair though he's got the mustache he's a little too humble with his smile need to be a little more solemn just just except the fact you're a baller billionaire pays $110 for a stupid painting he does you know what going back to it he does look a little lost or maybe he just doesn't like his picture taken I'm always looking to give somebody the benefit of the doubt here or maybe he's realizing that he just spent 10 million on a stupid painting and he's like what wa

11:32what did it sell for the last time I don't know I don't know I mean that's interesting it's a good question I wonder what appr see if you could find that commercial the Charles Bronson cologne commercial I want to see that it's got to be online why would you tell people that you bought that and then that's in your house like right did nobody learn anything from Kardashians look at all the jewelry I got next thing you know you face down with a gun to the back of head you got to watch out with that this guy's he's got 110 that was like a million dollar ring he's got like a $110 million piece of art well the crazy thing about the Kardashian thing was that was in Paris and she brought security with her she had security with her and they figured out how to get past security yeah but everything's better in Europe isn't that what everybody says you know their criminals are better than

12:19our security I'm Jing so there's Charles Bronson oh this is Charles Bronson lad in his life too this is like death wish Charles Bronson yeah Paul kiry all the world loves the lover all the world loves it's like a mini movie really yes what was this for what what uh country somewhere like in Japan really yeah good night Mr Bron he definitely didn't do it here you what a weird Drive the guy at the gate good night Mr Bronson sleep tight now driving off drives like a man now all of a sudden it gets uh here we go oh wow he gets a pipe out shirt off what in the is this this is a man getting paid he's got his pipe on and his shirt off and he's by himself yeah but you realize how Jack this guy was oh yeah for back then not only that he was probably like 60 at the time like Charles Bronson I believe when he you watching him the Tarantino here with him shooting guns and stuff

13:35this is late in his career too I'm telling you he might have been 60 here because when he was in hard times he was 50 mandm that's beyond6 that's the kingdom of a man what he's putting on him there mandm 1976 it says find out when hard times was oh Japanese you mandm mandm that works over there hard times was what 75 so he was 51 when he did that wow in the range yeah look at him in hard times he was ripped I I bet they sold a ton of that look at that that's a 50-year old man no HGH no testosterone just push-ups situps and drinking milk he grew up in a didn't he like working mines and stuff in Poland or something yeah those guys all those guys back then you know what I like about those old movies so many of them is when you watch an army movie from back then you're watching someone who was in the Army and shot at people so it's like they actually you know Lee Marvin like he was

14:40like one of two people to survive in his platoon got yeah got shot and stuff he had I think sciatic nerve issue or something from where he got shot or something like this guy liter like like actors weren't you know what they are now where it was a lot of pretend I mean Jesus we've been over in Iraq for 15 years I'm sure you could you like there's going to be the next Lee Marvins are going to come out of that um maybe maybe I don't know do you remember when I just say thanks Joe I do too who was that one guy that was like one of the first original movie stars and he was a World War II veteran Audie Murphy is that was that his name there was a guy who I me most most of them a famous war hero who them were veterans because of the level of the draft but then it becomes what did you do when you were there and it was like some of the some of them you know they they were in

15:29like you know infrastructure or whatever and then there's other people that were actually like up front sh this is the guy he was uh he became a movie star well look at all the stuff on his coat he must have done something over there he was a uh he was a decorated okay this one of the most decorated American combat soldiers in World War II and then uh single-handedly held off an entire German gu of German soldiers for an hour yeah wow so then he came back and became a movie star mhm and like people knew he enjoyed a 21-year acting career and then it just stopped well he W didn't he win like the Congressional Medal of Honor was like like most people don't win that and they're still alive right so back then like that was like a celebrity yeah like you you had to hold off an entire platoon for a German platoon too who makes porsa and and and Mercedes like

16:23their you know their level of guns that they had over there like our machine guns overheated and theirs didn't so if you kill killed a German guy you threw you threw away the American and picked up their stuff isn't that crazy yeah one of my favorite quotes ever one of the German tank commanders was saying every one of their uh what they had panzers is that what theirs was called and ours were the Sherman tanks a German tiger a tiger was worth like four American tanks but the Americans always had five we just totally McDonald's them like billions and billions served we just kept cranking it out it's like we got him right and then it'd always be that last one coming over the hill well they had some massive cannon in World War I that apparently you it took like a hundred men to move this enormous Cannon and uh Dan Carlin was talking about Hardcore History what's

17:09that 100 blue-eyed men to move it they wouldn't let anybody without blue eyes move the thing did Hitler even have blue eyes that isn't that weird he was he was a darkhaired guy no he didn't he looks like a cab driver in Germany he was everything he hated that was the funny thing about him was not a good dancer if you ever saw him do his victory jigs EV was afraid of dogs really I I'm just repeating that people said I don't know German Shepherds it is amazing the kind of engineering that German people have come up with I mean you think about Mercedes Porsche Audi BMW all of that out of this one part of the world no and they evidently a lot of the leaders felt uh oh my God look at that Cannon what is that thing called most powerful gun ever built heavy Gustav Railway gun so they put this this thing on it looks like it's on tractor tires like looks like a tractor right and they're I guess

18:05they drove this thing up but uh it just had just this the way Dan Carlin describes it is incredible like this unbelievable shock wave everybody have to run a mile away when the thing was going off and plug your ears up just cuz it will blow your eard drums literally apart Jesus Christ yeah they this thing going off what's wrong with people how how is war still legal I just don't get how that's legal you know what I mean like I can't walk into a bar you know and punch somebody in the face or if they punch me we like go to jail but like this is like can't these leaders just kind of solve things amongst themselves no they can't carve it up a little just all right listen you take the Philippines and no you give us Guam for the uh like like uh you know owners of football teams isn't it amazing that I mean that we even have what's legal and what's not legal I mean

19:04what does that mean wrote it down on paper we all agreed I mean think about the that is and isn't legal the fact that war is on that list at all I like laws do you yeah like what ones you can't beat the out of me can't come into my house and take my stuff what am I going to do what what am I honestly going to do about it I was thinking about that when I was watching the uh UFC this past weekend I was watching this uh frightful beating that Alexander gustofson put on Glover toera and it was just a ruthless knockout just vicious beat down and then eventually stopped him and I was thinking it's kind of crazy that these guys agree to do this they agree to do this everybody signs away and then you go do something that anywhere else in the world you would get locked up for yeah you get arrested that happens in hockey every once in a while where somebody goes too

19:51far and then the the government gets involved really yeah like what do they do uh if you hit somebody in the head with the St that goes outside the boundaries of uh setting the tone that seems like a move though hit him with a stick you're supposed to punch but it's so weird when you got the stick in your hand yeah it it just the that you sometimes think of doing I guys spear each other in the balls they whack at the B like there's no padding behind your legs just imagine that just taking a wood stick and just with NHL level strength and just giving someone a twohand or the back leg they break people's fing Crosby almost took somebody's finger off this year if they get too far like if if it gets really if they just open the rules up a little bit you know what's going to happen they're going to bring in figure skaters they're going to teach them Taekwondo they're

20:39going to cut people's heads off with the skates that's that's well dude you're spinning heel kick man if you ever learned how to skate you'd be dangerous if you ever did that with skates on that would be it that's what I'm saying if you teach that to somebody teach that to somebody with skates I mean if you could hit someone with a a hockey stick why can't you hit them with a skate like we draw the line here you can't hit them with theti but they do it if somebody does it to you no no they slash and they do stuff like that you can't Club somebody over I mean you even slashing so okay I'll just slash your leg out what would you rather have would you rather take a get hit by a piece of wood you know and have a bruise there or have somebody slash you with their skatee I would absolutely rather get hit by the piece of wood but I shouldn't get hit by the piece of wood I don't I don't

21:20play hockey but if I did play hockey I'd be pretty pissed if somebody hit me with a stick I'd be like you and I'd want to hit him with my you be like the second coming of DOI you have the exact same build he's a guy who somehow was like my height and was considered a heavyweight fighter and he's the guy according to him he came up with the grab them by right right underneath your collar and then turn all the way sideways because he didn't have the reach Advantage oh and then he would he would wait for them to throw he duck under and then come over the top and dude I I met him one time great guy and he he's got he has like your hands you know your hands you make like that it turns into a hammer it's the same thing he has like these inexplicable like bare Paws and I might be a little taller than him I just and I remember when he tried to show me when he grabbed the front of my

22:16shirt to show me like I literally felt like an adrenaline like oh I hope flash I hope this guy doesn't snap no he's one of the like he's he's one of the toughest guys that ever uh ever played well you know when Rocky Marciano was a heavyweight champ champ and he was only 185 lb he was 185 lb and he was 510 and he was a heavyweight champ that's cuz it wasn't Tim Hortons on everybody's every Corner they weren't feeding cows to other cows and be like go ahead and eat it see what happens dude have you seen kids hit puberty at like eight now yeah they're eight or nine you got to like teach them how to shave I mean I don't know what is in uh hormones who knows what it is but it's no long Monsanto changed their uh their name you know what I mean what do they know I don't know it's just that's that's the genius of it cuz then you don't know and the same way halberton

23:02changed the same way niss Nissan changed from from datson oh that's right yeah that's right I wonder why they did that dosu and they made some good cars no they always go over the cliff Toyota did that too with Le Dot and I get Honda and Toyota in this country they both do the same thing they have this weird division where they they make a luxury brand for Americans you know they don't do like Acura and Honda they don't do that in Japan like if you buy an NSX in Japan which is their top end car it's a Honda it's a Honda NSX okay but in America we're like no you need something you need a better name no but we we have the space are you saying that they can't get a luxury car over there no no no that's what saying the they changed the name in America cuz we don't we don't want to buy a Toyota we assume a Toyota's a cheap car so they go okay well we're going to make a different brand of

23:51Toyota and called Alexus and everybody's like okay we're in as long as he change the name oh okay I was just literally going to make up without any research that because they were on an island they don't have anywhere to drive they don't have anywhere to drive so they don't they don't let them have the fast cars even that guy with $110 billion to buy a picture he's got nowhere to go no he has like a Civic he's he can't spend his money on cars so that's why he buys the art you're a car guy though you know they have pretty fast cars I mean they have ridiculously fast cars they have the GTR it's one of the fastest cars in the world I know but I've never been there so Japan yeah I just was started to listen to what you were saying and then that whole theory developed in my head Japan is small but it's not that small no it isn't can I mention f for family that it came out today that's why

24:41I'm here that's why I dragged you out of bed or whatever you were doing to do the special podcast here which I appreciate um I season two season two of FIS for family is available for to stream all of it it took us a year to make it and you can devour it in 5 hours wow if you have food delivered and then you can ask me when's season 3 coming out which is what I hope you asked me cuz that would mean that you enjoyed it I love this show it's a hilarious show oh thank I'm looking forward to the season it's fun and I work with great people thank God because if I didn't the amount of work that it was it would actually be misery but it isn't a lot of work though how much work does it take you uh like it takes a year to make but how much does it take how long does it take you well I mean the writer room is like a uh you know like a 10 week 11 week thing and then you're recording as you go and

25:30then you're looking at you know the first drawings of it where they sort of rough it out you be like no no have Frank standing over here and Sue's over here and and it just kind of you just keep then you rewrite and then you're watching stuff and it doesn't play and then you rewrite it and and it just yeah it takes a year dude it takes like 10 months and then the last two months is just going okay deciding on strategies on how they're going to uh promote it which amazed me cuz I'm like well we'll do what we always do but like this business just changes so rapidly that even how we promoted it when it first came out in uh December 2015 you know which was almost 2016 so now we're in 2017 like it's it a bunch of other stuff has changed since then so I don't know like what what's changed like what do you mean I knew you were going to ask me that sorry let you go I

26:22can't what was it no more questions no they would just go like they brought they brought me in one maybe this is from my St special that's what they brought me in and they showed they basically showed me how everybody's Netflix screen is different like yours is different that your homepage is different cuz it's all they're just watching you watch TV right or they got this thing that watches it so the only way our screen and then our top whatever would be the exact same is if we watch the exact same at the same time and maybe even the same age group I have no idea but I was blown away by that like I just just thought like you know I would look and be oh man my special's on on the cover of Netflix it's like no it's on the cover of yours and whoever else is in that that Vibe of like you're going to like this I have three different profiles I have one profile and then I

27:13have one profile for each of my kids okay so I see different stuff so I see that so if I go to my kids homepage like if they want to watch a show that they watch and I go there I see just a bunch of little kids show I don't ever see anything that I watch I go to mine I see house of cards I see your special I see other people's specials so yeah that's what they do they're very smart with their algorithms but what I don't like is this thumbs up thumbs down can't do that what's that I was joking about that on my podcast it's like uh uh Adolf Hitler thumbs down orange juice after brushing your teeth thumbs down you know what I mean yeah it's true ice cream thumbs up a threesome with supermodel thumbs up yeah it's like what the did they really do that because of Amy Schumer that's the way no no that was that was that was already yeah why would they that Behemoth when you're that

28:08big you can't make decisions that quickly but everybody wanted it to be they're like they did it for her they did it for her well you know they got to bring it back the star system is a perfect system everybody's used to it yes we've been using it forever it works yes but what is the star does the star somebody told me the star system only applies it's like geared towards what you would like I'm like how the would they know that that doesn't make any sense and then I I heard that that's not the case that it's basically just an average of all the people just like on Amazon if you go to Amazon and you look at something you see five stars and you see 175 reviews that's what it is right but somebody told me that wasn't the star system wasn't that see if you could find that out Jamie somebody said the star system was based on whether or not you would like it I'm like that seems

28:53ridiculous cuz I've never rated a thing in my life on on Netflix I don't get any of these places and I don't understand how any of them work I just I go old school like I just try to whatever I'm doing I try to make it as funny as I possibly can and try to work with the best people I possibly can and then just hope it sticks and if it doesn't I can always just keep telling jokes other than that I I don't know what to tell you I I have no idea and I have I was when I took that meeting with Netflix I went in there like this is a jerk off meeting why did I drive all the way over here to have a meeting on how to promote this and when they sat down and they were done with the presentation I was like am I allowed to leave like you don't do the men in black thing to me before I walk out of here so I forget all that was amazing it was amazing like the level with

29:42which every God damn like there's not one drop of water that rolls off the table they like they they catching it all I don't know how they uh you know I'm just not wired that way well that's probably good though there's only so much time in the day like just to think about being funny and just concentrate and staying in your lane is probably the best option anyway is it I I I mean it's working for me yeah it's working for me and then there be worried about algorithms and no and then there's also a certain level of known that you don't want to get to because then it stops being fun right and then Tom Cruz there uh yeah well early Tom Cruz it was fun to be that famous but before social media and everybody had a camera that they could pull out like Charles Bronson in that cologne commercial then it just becomes it's just something completely different like when we started in this business

30:32like being famous was courtside seats and I don't know at mountains a blow here's the it says Netflix star systems star star ratings were personalized and had been from the start that means when you saw a movie on Netflix rated four stars didn't mean the average of all ratings were four stars instead it meant that Netflix thought you'd rate it four stars based on your habits and other people's ratings but many people didn't get that so how the was Amy Schumer's one star everybody gave it one star how's that how's that work then it was sand and East and Rebels just they just all got on and then they threatened the people that liked her special and that's how it went down well I guess in that case what they did was they just said look green peace attack my special money did they yeah they just ruined all my chances for the rest I did this joke about trees and

31:19they just didn't like it and that's it for me that's how it works now this is a whole new world um that seems weird though to me that what they wouldn't like let it actually be rated that they the ratings were personalized based on the that you like but how the do they know what you like you just know what I watch dude it's a it's a riddle wrapped up in an enigma you're not going to figure out a worldwide I don't know how they do it I don't know how they all I know is I went and I took the meeting I was like this is unbelievable well they're on top of you know the weirdest one is Alexa you know of the Amazon one they're using it they're trying to use sounds like a porn star yeah it does I'm sure there's to the stage Alexa they're trying to use that Alexa as a thing that you talk to you like Alexa Play Bill bur's album and you know I have no sympathy for people that

32:13bring that in their house and because those mouth breathing morons will someday it'll be mandatory that I do and get microchipped and then that's going to be the end of any sort of rebellion and whatever the they want to do that's it the emperor can literally a flounder on TV at that point and they will be able to stop any sort of like any descent any descent they'll turn off your chip which is your money what are you going to rebel against a SL with a slingshot it's over it's a rap but there's too many mouth breathing morons being like well what do I care if somebody if I'm not doing anything those people yeah i' I've had that I had that argument with a very smart person when the NSA went down they found out they were listening to all the calls guy's like go ahead listen if it keeps terrorists from attacking go ahead and listen I'm not doing anything wrong like wow that's not that's not

33:00what it is like anybody could find out your email they can go in your email and look at your emails and decide whether or not you're doing something wrong or right decide they don't like or that once they have that jurisdiction they could even even if you didn't have anything they could say you did yeah well they definitely could they they could alter your emails they could do whatever they want that's why nobody gets whacked anymore people used to get whacked they don't get whacked anymore yeah you don't well they think that Seth rich guy got killed you paying attention to that that's I don't listen to I just talk I'm just to say you can just kill him in the media all you got to do is one dick pick and be like that is his dick I'll give you the conspiracy theory and I give you what they know there's a guy named Seth Rich he's apparently a Bernie Sanders supporter he's working

33:42for the DNC he found out that the DNC was Democratic natural convention natural yeah no National yeah he found out that they were over Bernie Sanders and so he supposedly was giving this information to WikiLeaks all that information got out it hurt Hillary cuz it turned and it hurt the DNC the DNC head of the DNC left and went she resigned and immediately went to work for Hillary Clinton anyway this guy who Wikileaks says and there was no followup because once she resigns in mainstream news that's the end of the story yeah there was no follow it was pretty outrageous that she immediately got hired by Hillary Clinton but anyway the kid who was this Bernie Sanders supporter his name is Seth Rich he was murdered outside of his house 4:00 in the morning they said it was a robbery they left his money they left his wall they left his phone they left his watch

34:29nothing was taken from him but he was shot in the back at 4:00 in the morning so Julian Assange from Wikileaks said that there are consequences for uh working with us and providing us information so they're saying you saying this guy provided you information he said that's just what I'm saying there's con there's consequences to working with us and then there's this other guy kim.com was this famous uh multi-millionaire internet character that's hiding out newand I was going to say after he lets the information out what is the purpose of killing the guy CU you're not going to stop the information what it is is to stop other people from doing it because they all get creeped out by to stop other people what you're saying here to stop other people from doing it one and two so that he can't testify on the depth of all the corruption that was going on in the DNC

35:14and who had organized it and who had orchestrated it that's what they think but what the but there's a lot of people that dispute this and also there was a a redacted FBI report that people were touting out that turned out to be and so now they found out that that was a fraud the FBI report was a FBI report so they don't know what the going on but this guy's dead so my point is he he got whacked whether or not he got whacked because he was working with here it is federal prosecutor found dead this guy got whacked this weekend apparently oh Jesus what did he get whack for don't know exactly yet Jesus you guys just blew my theory out of the water he's like a 37-year-old Federal prosecutor and went for a jog in South Beach and uh found with a gunshot wound to his head I believe is what they well he he might have put somebody in jail though that potentially yeah that was pissed

36:01off and waited for him you got to alter your behaviors what when you put somebody in jail no when you yeah when you have jobs like that oh yeah you can't you can't go home the same way every how the people live like that yeah how do you live dumb to ever get to that level of society well it's just a intense way of life too you're working with criminals all the time you're constantly working with people that are breaking the law you're constantly trying to put him behind bars this is freaking me out when did you start smoking a pipe oh I only only have done it a couple of times Steven Crowder brought it in for me and I tried it how is it it's not bad it's not bad it's a little annoying cuz you got it's not bad I'll do it right now I'll light it up for you I thought it would be amazing it's okay both my grand grandfathers smoked a pipe so I am a uh you know I like what it looks like it

36:53smells good there's a place uh on the West Side the Tinder box that I've been meaning to go into that place on uh Wilshire right isn't it yes yeah I know that spot there's a place over there and I've been meaning to go in there and and take up pipe them I I just I don't know I just like I like I like the smell of it mandom oh this is dead we got another just go in there and throw your shirt across the room and start smoking a pipe well while you like that I'll tell you a little bit about f for family for people this season uh Frank's looking to get his job get a job I should say after getting fired at the that was some good active listening oh Jesus um is it weed you're putting in there no it's tobacco Oh I thought you you don't inhale do you no no you just sort of put it in your mouth okay yeah just G to get a little puff there okay Kevin's trying to get his band going we got Laura dirt

37:44on the show Justin Long Sam Rockwell Haley Reinhardt Debbie Dairy Berry I think I might have inhaled the first time did I yeah I thought you did I might have we'll see how it goes David Kenner no that time I did David kon's a funny guy yeah he's he's one of the silliest people I've ever met and I love him yeah you guys got a great cast yeah do you like doing a cartoon is it is it as satisfying for you as doing standup or is it just something different that's equally satisfying it's just fun because you know what my no no no it's it's yeah you know like look stand Up's my first love so but the thing that I love doing is I love writing for all these other people you know and I should say we when we write for them cuz everybody's in the room and my the biggest thrill I get is at the table read Beyond making you know the powers that be laugh when the actors

38:35crack up and they can't get through the line like we got Mo Collins this year a couple of times and she's just a she's a beast man she's just does so many characters for us and a couple times like it's it's just one of those things like man if we're making Mo laugh like I know this is a good line and um we we got those guy Trevor Deval is another guy we got him one time and Kenner is hard to get to laugh though he's such a pro you know what I mean and he'll say afterwards this is some of the funniest I've ever done but he to get him kind kind of a goal of mine to get him to crack yep I've been in the booth with Laura and we've gotten her a number of times and uh yeah it's uh Sam Rockwell we've gotten him laugh I just love that's my favorite my favorite it's like making another comedian laugh it's it's an extra level of like all right you know especially you know a lot of them

39:25the caliber of actors that the the material that they've looked at so for them to say and you can tell you know anybody can say oh my God this is great but when you really make them laugh you can't fake that um so I I really the table reads are fun cuz I think that's more like a standup show and um I really rehearse my lines and I make sure that I you know I sell the out of them because uh I don't have to go back and fix them you know if they don't work at the table reading that's something that I did accidentally early in my career and then I learned what a um you know I learned what a big thing that is like the first acting gig that I got I was doing some small movie or something they had a table read and I got there and I was overly prepared and the lines worked and then there was more stuff for me and and this guy said hey man the writers love you man you're just selling the

40:14out of your stuff and I'm thinking my head I like I was just trying not to get fired and um then I then I I was able to see how the game works because there's there's actors that'll go to a table read and if they don't like the material they don't sell the stuff and I don't think they understand how hard people work so at least give it a right yeah swing out of your cleat see what happens you know what I mean but to go there and just sort of Mumble your way through it that's it's not a good position to get yourself into as an actor of the whole writing room writers room was like oh this guy yeah wasn't that an issue on what was that girl on one of those cop shows not cop shows one of those Hospital shows Grace's Anatomy was that girl said she wanted to be removed from consideration for for the Emmys because she didn't think the material was strong enough

41:00that year and they were like oh what oh god this I know and and how how writers yeah command their money is through winning like that obviously being on a hit show but if you're an Emmy award-winning writer that's huge for them that's like their HBO special so to screw if they're going to get they were nominated and she said I want to take that back wow she didn't want to be she didn't want to be nominated here it is star shuns Emmys Katherine higel this week said she had opted out of the RAC this year because she was not given good enough material to work with last season that that is it 29 years old on top of the world that is just disappearing up your own vagina go back to that real quick so that was years ago exactly is she still working not really no she dropped off the face of the planet 10 years ago she was a big star she started doing movie she did that movie with Seth TR

41:56motived oh she's dropped off the face of the planet now she's 40 and 38 38 let's be honest here she's 38 well basically 10 years ago 40 is 38 I mean I'm 49 I'm 50 trust me that's what happens though that 10 years flies by and nobody wants to do with you anymore now she's got a tainted word she's got a tainted name yeah oh yeah she's apparently softened her stance and she's you know apologized for her her youthful exuberance but hey we're dumb in our 20s we're dumb yeah I give her a pass dumb as yeah I give her a pass poor girl good for you yeah what are you gonna do you do dumb oh yeah in your 20s that's pretty dumb though huh that's pretty dumb that's ferocious I could probably I could beat that with a few things in my 20 don't you think that's not like a rash decision that's something that was thought over decided reinforced said it more than one time

42:52and then did yeah but there's a certain level of like not only ego Mania was celebrity but there's also paranoia and I think that like you just it all swirls together in your head and like you know like maybe her thinking about an old acting like doing the work is this is this worthy like he got that going on with if you're just remotely a pleasant person when you get to a certain level of Fame people just like you are just the most amazing like I sneezed and you said God bless you I mean he is so down to to earth like the level that you have to just barely even be a decent human being to just get this Avalanche of compliments if you got that going on and then you got this paranoia thing like uh is this the move is this what I wanted is this what I want to hang my head on with this Emmy and you just start having your own inside the actor studio with yourself I

43:48think it's just a diss on the writers that's what I would say I would say what she's doing is just dissing The Writers she's just saying so in your world it's a sketch for me it was a uh it was a Trilogy of a movie I was really going somewhere with that trilogy three three parter I was just joking how I built it all up in her head and you just like yeah I think she was just being a they call him old brass tax Rogan just gets right down to it that is my My Method I'm more of a brass I'm I'm not really I'm not grounded pound you ground and pounded you don't feel them out in the first round you take them right when it comes to people like that I'm like I've seen that before I know what that is you go double Leg Takedown and then that's it especially with actors i' I mean I met a lot of nice actors don't get me wrong but maybe it's 50% of them that's a bad number like 50% of actors

44:36are pretty cool but you worked you worked back when they could be a douche ah it's true now you can't that's right now you can't yeah people tell yeah no no it's it's just because everybody stole all the movies and they stole all the music you know there people like where's all the good music I wish I was born during the grungier it's like well if if this this model existed back then you would have ruined that too cuz you don't pay for anything so you get what you pay for you get shitty movies you know about superheroes and all that so now that's what it is it's going to be superheroes or uh you know some sort of whatever oh my God am I 40 now one of those comedies and um yeah what the was my point what were we even talking don't pay for anything anymore I made it that's what I made that wasn't your thing I was talking about oh you can't be a douche now because the work's dried

45:25up there's not as many that's why there's like like all these Stars piling on like the Golden State Warriors every movie back in the day like to to make Oceans 11 happen when all of those people could have had their own starring vehicle and make all of this money God I hope I'm right on this one um you mean the original Oceans 11 no no even the one like in the early 2000s when I the few times I did movies everybody told me you just missed it you missed it it all ended in 056 and I started getting work in like 09 2010 they were like oh my God they pay for John Travolta's jet fuel coming in his own you know to do like one of those Hogs movies like riding on a motorcycle he'd be okay you got to pay for my 747 like go John John goes without saying goes without saying I'm going to fly back and forth from the set on the weekend in my own 7:47 12 hour AB whatever you want we'll

46:22build a Airfield for you right next to when we do Staying Alive we'll do like like like when you hear some I mean I'm obviously exaggerating to a certain level but like some of the the budgets that were around in the way that they burn through money and um now it all just it's like it's the saren Getti during the dry season and all the lions are everybody's drinking next to each other so but don't they still make Big movies now I mean don't all these like uh blockbuster movies they still make that no but if you notice but there's like that's not just a Tom Cruz movie they'll be like all these other people pile like those superhero movies there's like a there's there's someone who used to be able to carry a movie in each slot right I'm not saying they still don't get movies it's just like it's just dried up and I I this people in the industry told me man in Black three star

47:09Will Smith forced the move forced to move his huge $2 million trailer as New York residents complain that trailer this his gym just for working out that's just his gym yeah he had another trailer too for holy hanging out or whatever Kevin James had a trailer just for working out when uh we did uh zookeeper together he had a full gym in a trailer that you rent I mean it was a full it had a tanning booth in it that was here comes the boom for Here Comes the Boom he had to get in shape cuz he was playing a UF a guy who became a UFC fighter fun movie yeah he did a great job yeah he did he lost a shitload of weight too started drinking kale shakes in the morning and working out constantly so we had a full gym nothing will get you in shape like knowing you have you're going to have to take your shirt off in a movie nothing will motivate you like this yeah definitely help the green

47:57you got I'll drink it I will drink that if you could somehow if there was an app that you listened to when you were asleep and it convinced you that you were going to have to take your shirt off in a movie like the level of shape that Americans would get into I think would be crazy do you what about Bert ker Berke ker is a rare animal he's like a white tiger you know he's very valuable I can don't buy no deer like if you ever get to the level if you get bored with just you know and you want to go for the ultimate prey like that's the head you want on your wall you want Bert ker Burt is like yeah he has uh I don't know I don't know how he's wired but like like he does not I I I would love to that's that's a you have to ask him that ask him Bert what humiliates you like he that dude that dude is really just like Fearless well he's definitely Fearless of taking a shirt

48:55off takes a shirt off every show like immediately takes his shirt off and then puts back on has chaps on yeah chaps he did that at the goddamn Comedy Jam no he came I remember I had to follow him he went out and he did uh Red Hot Chili Peppers give it away now and came out with just a sock on his junk and convinced everyone else in the band to do it and they did it most of them didn't want to do it he just he's BT he let him over the hill like in Braveheart they all walked out with their socks and I'm sitting there like how the am I going to follow this and what did you have to sing well I don't sing you just play the drums I just play drums you can't go wrong though and you're you're back there with the drums you could follow that it's not the same uh dude you're talking the level of energy and the level of the crowd being like dude what the the show's over Dude the show the

49:47show was over why didn't they have him go last I that's the exact question I asked Josh Adam Myers who also does a voice also does a voice on uh he does Howland Hank the DJ he had the I remember when he came over with the DJ character I'm like I got the guy with the perfect voice um but uh yeah I I don't know why I should have been going on that I think it's like they they've view that show more like how many years have you've been doing standup it's like no this is not a standup this is a music show who has the most musical ability or like is going to make the crowd go the craziest I mean come on dude even if you didn't know anything about Show Business guys with these guys are going to come out with nothing but socks on their dicks that's that's going last right yeah that's that's it that's what I would say if I was scheduling it I can't remember what I did after that played the drums

50:39well I did some stand I did enough standup to try to make them forget about what they saw before that but I don't remember what song I played now so that show has standup too like you do a little standup as well yeah well what used to well the way it started out was you would come out and just talk about how much you love music and then you talk about the awful band you played in or some of the concerts you went to or a rock star that they meant something to you and and what be what what you got inspired to do there you go that's me being trying to be Steven Adler with the tattoo the heart tattoo um so I probably played either Welcome to the Jungle or Paradise City on that one uh it's fun as dude and that's and the reason why I dress up like the drummers is because I don't want people to think that you know I play drums good enough where people would be like wait does this guy think

51:22he's good bird huh yeah there you go he's in a bikini trying to find the socks I can't that was before the weight loss challenge too yep he put most that weight back on though Tommy didn't I went to Tommy's house the other day to do his podcast sigura he looks great he's lost more weight oh yeah he's disciplined now yes he is he's exercising constantly eerily quiet sometimes when you stand next to him Tom yes really yeah I just peer into his head sometimes like what's going on in there what do you say what is I don't know I don't know this I love Tom but I'm telling you there just something happening in there huh I would love to bring him on here and interview him well he's definitely intense in a way that he doesn't show a lot of people like the way he prepared for this uh weight loss challenge I'm a dark dude and I I when I go into room you can if you're a psycho

52:15you you spot another psycho and there's just like there there's a movie going on there that I would love to finance I want to see that movie made him and his wife I think that's the funniest comedy couple next to mosha Casher like that's it's like mosha Casher and his wife uh Natasha lerro those two and then Tommy buns and Christina I gotta go with Tommy and Christina they're close though I'm see a new reality show it's close comedy couples Jo yeah Last Comic Standing with comic meets the newly wed game huh that's how that's all you have to do to pitch you just pitch two shows that worked the newly wed game and Last Comic Standing yeah you ask him questions and all of that stuff who else is out there you got Tom Carter and krie Louise right okay I'm just saying comedians each who else um Bonnie McFarland and Rich Voss Bonnie mcfar they're contenders that's

53:21they're in the running as well for the funniest couple who else well how do you keep this going Joe I don't know how do keep this going for Five Seasons you don't you barely can get three episodes out of is it a special is it something you would loan your name to no could this live where where would this live just trying to get a check I just want to sell it to you and then run away I like it well listen uh we just got in business with uh Liquid Drano and they want to get into the streaming business and they got all kinds of money they know they're going to lose money in this first year so we'll give you we're just going to throw money at you I have one request what's that Mario Lopez host Mario Lopez can we get him do we know him yes what does he do he's a boxer myo Lopez he wasn't unsaved by the bill did that too but now entertainment reporter SL boxer oh and he's a boxer yeah

54:06another guy shredded good looking guy and he hosted yes there you go so like the women are married to a guy that's not as good-looking as Mario and that's part of the drama of the show what do you think what where does this live Bravo for sure I was just picturing the industry like whenever you don't know what to say you just go where does this live where does this live is this in our pallet you know what I've been watching lately that's rid ridiculously addictive in some up way is million dooll listing you ever watch that show do you know what it is it's a these gay guys are selling houses yes my wife watches that show with that the gay guy who lives in Connecticut so you like like so qu ridiculous so he looks like he's like clation he doesn't look like a real person his teeth is so white I am the number one real estate agent in all of New York I like I like

54:58when the best I love that guy and I love when he starts speaking what does he speak Swedish and out of nowhere he just no that's not the guy that's not him that's not him oh that's that's the one from new no that's the other one the one on the far right the right on the right right guy that guy that's the guy there he is oh the one in the middle looks a lot like him God that's weird they they all have on lipstick they look exactly the same million dooll listing that's Los Angeles that's the different one yeah the the one in New York gay dude I love that guy so the guy in the middle is I haven't seen that guy before I've only seen the one in New York with the male model in the middle there's a male model one on the right is an angry psycho like me the dude in the middle is sort of a middle ground and then the other guy is like I mean he's right out of Hogan's

55:47Heroes there was a house that they were selling in Los angelist that was on that show and I was watching it and they were trying to sell it for $20 million and it was for sale recently is actually a house that's really for sale but it's like right above Sunset Strip like you could see it from the strip like you imagine buying a $20 million house and you can just look at it like you can look into the windows I mean it's a half a block above the strip you're looking out your window like a CVS is across the street no yeah that's what okay I just thought you were but it is like that I mean it's on the it's on the street it's not above it it's here's the strip here's Sunset Strip here's the first couple of buildings it's right there I mean it's right there but it's wanted $20 million from it and the listing di do you believe that those are cuz like the last episode I watched is like the

56:35uh the gay gestapo guy is sitting there going um he walks in to this lady and he just goes okay here's the offer the the final offer they can give you is $1.3 million and then she just saw that one she read him the right I told you no nego come in here waste my time blah blah blah and he's just sitting there going like oh my God oh my God you you know and I was I I was surprised he took that level of I was waiting for him be like lady I it's not my fault you think it's worth $15 million lunatic yeah he can't do that so he just sits there and listens and then she leaves and I'm like holy they finally didn't sell a house and then just boom two seconds later somebody calls up oh after after he does the whole she walked out the door it was like winter in Russia right he all of a sudden somebody calls up out of nowhere and just goes all right 116 final offer that's it and then he

57:32calls the lady up and then she's all just like see that's all I wanted yeah that's the exact show I watched yeah and I was that was that was too easy and there's the handsome model who just takes his shirt off all the time and he's ripped that guy with the the Jewish fellow with the long hair my wife likes him of course she does yeah women like him guy shredded yeah I I don't get mad at that beautiful man she could literally be like I'm leaving you for him and I'd be like I get that I get it I see it you got to do what you got to do good good for you man it congratulations give me some Knuckles there you go hey at least we had a kid together give me a hug you know imag imagine you're taking custody too I fig you know he's a better looking dad he's probably better it than me yeah it's it's tough to fight that off it's about 6'2 shredded and he keeps a certain amount of chest hair on it

58:22too you really analyze this guy dude I I no I usually I got my little glass of whatever I'm drinking at that point you know my little helper to get me to sleep what do you drink oh dude I drink gasoline I drink gas dude how often are you drinking um cuz you took a long time off right didn't you take like a few month take like periods uh I'm in the middle of a Joon nashio streak right now no I didn't drink last night but you I had family come in uh two weekends this month to meet my daughter and uh so like that was a lot of like you know beer drinking them it's just you know boozing and whatever like I feel I'm being good if I drink hard stuff cuz it's not as many calories as beer but um yeah I've been on a wine streak lately drink deal the fact makes your teeth gray I hate that then you're sitting if you drink red wine it turns it gray then you're like ha I drink so much coffee my teeth

59:18are kind of jacked anyway they're going a little yellow yeah I I definitely uh I don't know I definitely yeah I I go through perod i' I got inspired recently because I read something about some celebrity that was already good-looking and then they just laid off the boo being like yeah I kind of was going too hard and the dude was even better looking I was just like yeah I got to cut this out I got to knock this off so getting off boo is going to make you better looking the weight no it's going to make you a better looking you how's that because you're pouring that in it's not good for you it's like you're literally asking me like if you live a healthier lifestyle you're you're going to look a little better dude if you're eating moon pies and drinking beer and stuff you're going to look horrible would you rather enjoy yourself or look better oh dude I

60:08literally was thinking that last night when I was sitting there going like all right I'm not drinking tonight I'm not going to have that little one and uh you know my wife always I come walking and she hears the ice in the glass before I even get down the hall and um she give you a hard time oh another one huh no no no she she doesn't you don't enjoy me sober no she's more like ah Christ you're going to be snoring all night um no we have she no my wife's always a I'll always be like oh my god I think I'm a alcoholic she's like you're not an alcoholic you're so dramatic you just like to drink it's like all right you're right but um we did have this whole thing where she just like I'd come walking in with the drink and she just oh last year when we were doing the show and just the stress of writing and just thinking all day and coming home but I was like really hitting it a little

60:59harder so I'd come into the room and she was looking at my pores and they went from this to this to this to getting like bigger and then one night I came walking in she just goes Jesus Christ why don't you just bring the whole bottle down I I only had one she goes look thing is huge and I and that's when I came up I go I go it's a home po a home po a home po oh well you like you you go out to like the uh the the the whiskey bars and and they take like like an eye dropper out they have like a giant like Glacier ice cube in there and then they just you know little wet you whistle shot you just it doesn't even go up like an eighth of of the Ice Cube um that's that's like a that's a commercial pore and then you got the home por which is me is it you cover the Ice Cube you get one of those big square ones in there you know and and you just you pour over it I got a buddy that

61:51takes it to the next level he takes a smoker he puts water in the smoker so he leaves it in there for like a half an hour so the smoke embeds the water then he takes the water out of the smoker and pours it into this circular Cube maker circular uh ice ball maker you know you pour pour it in there so it's Smoky water and then he drops that in a class and pours his whiskey over the smoke infused water little too much it's a little redundant little too much that's like uh that's like that band striper remember them oh they were the Christian band remember all the stripes like they just took too far everything was striped weren't they like super the guy's whole drum kit like the the the symbol stands were all yellow and black striped that's too much it's like we get it you striper you could I didn't know I'm not aware of these guys that is that oh that's disgusting yeah that

62:46is yellow and black that's what I think having a smoke infused uh it's already going to be have a py taste to it now am I wrong about them being the Christian F no no you're right they are the drummer's name was Robert sweet I remember that and that was actually and I don't think that's a stage name that's how nice I have no idea 53.5 they have a quote in the back that's hilarious like bees they hit they just they hit that bu be Market why Ted Cruz oh the guy looks like Ted Cruz the picture of Ted Cruz and the guy it does look like Ted Cruz it's hilarious PeeWee Herman haircut too right there does a little bit little Bob's Big Boy a little qua going on there I mean I should talk I'd be happy with him as president right now I'd be happier would you would you not be he creeped me out did he creep you out more than Trump yeah I vote I voted for Gary Johnson I did too I like that guy he

63:43just was the he just was sane that's all I was looking for at that point and I like Bernie Sanders too I would have loved to see those two guys go at it I just think we would have been in a much better uh it made more sense yeah it just got a little too uh what do you think it's going on with this Russia I don't give a you don't give a at all I don't give a dude we've whatever they did we've done a thousand times around the globe if anything they're they're guilty of stealing from us you talking about tampering with the election no what I'm really talking about is how much like investment Trump has in Russia and what Russia has on Trump there's some weird going on boys with them it didn't work out well the last time when we weren't friends right it'd be nice to get along with them they don't have to try out their missiles they work yeah it's not like North Korea you know they got like a

64:34what do they call those things a startup you know they got like hashtag fund my nuclear missile over there um I don't know I refuse to get scared by that guy too well I'm not scared by him TR by Putin but he's a scary guy I mean he's a murderer and a thug there's a lot of murderers here lot of murderers you remember that we've done terrible things as well I when he said that he right he's right who who's a he just no goes a lot of killers over here too and then O'Reilly goes well who who's the killer over here and he just goes lot of killers and then he just moves on to the next question yeah nobody will be like no wait I asked a question answer it and he he'll get up and walk away that's what he does now it's his move he ask him questions about Russia he just gets up you leaves calls you fake news fake news you are fake F news fake news oh dude the amount of sketches you

65:29could do with that guy what coming home getting busted for cheating on his wife and just she'll be asking a question I'll just get up in the middle of it it's fake news it's fake news Well whose panties are these those are fake all fake Alec Baldwin is Reviving his career with him I mean Alec Baldwin's on fire to revive I've always thought that that guy's been killing it yeah he's always doing great but I mean it's he's on fire right now doing his Donald Trump impression it's one of the best things he's ever done that guy is hilarious did you ever see him on Jiminy Glick no that guy kills it on everything he's one of the funniest dudes out there and he's one of the best character actors out there it's just that he looks like an astronaut superhero that they tried to make him like this matin Idol guy and he was really like a character actor guy and and when he does uh my wife was always

66:18watching 30 Rock he killed it you ever SE what he did his Tracy Morgan impression no yeah I've I the guy I I'm a huge fan well he kills it so hard on SNL As Trump I mean there's no way he's not funny I mean that that impression is disaster I mean it's destructive it's so good I love that one joke they had I'd like to apologize to the uh blah blah blah I'd like to apologize he kept saying apologize and they go are you trying to say um Trump you trying to say apologize he goes no I would never do that um I got to I've been just busy so I haven't been watching on uh Saturday Night Live I got to start watching again yeah I don't watch it either I just watch the Clips online I don't have time to invest Saturday live is like one of those things where I feel like they're going to hit 50% of the time and Miss 50% of the time I can't do that so I'll just I'll wait for the hits they great I mean

67:12they very efficient way digesting your art that's how I do it bro I'm efficient all right well we have efficiently we have 10 episodes this season I got to keep steering it back because last year when I promoted it I just went on things trying to be funny and then in the end they'd be like oh by the way got this you know I got to make sure I I promote it plug it plug it f is for family on Netflix and if you don't have Netflix how dare you how dare you try to live your life without Netflix there's everything on it so kids I my my new TV I got a new TV doesn't even I mean you don't even need something to get on Netflix you get on Netflix right through the TV the TV hooks up to Wi-Fi bam you what's kills me is you won't be satisfied with that and within 18 months you think so cuz your neighbor will have something else I don't know my neighbor oh you're GNA know your

68:00neighbor I had to meet my neighbor the other day cuz my daughter's drone flew into her yard yeah we got a drone it sucks how high up does it go it goes High it just doesn't listen to you just if you spend 150 bucks in a drone it doesn't listen you got to spend like 500 then they listen the $150 one it's like it's a a vague suggestion and once it gets more than like a few hundred feet away from you that thing is not listening anymore it just it just sailed right into her tree so I had to go down and get it amazing video on those things oh yeah you can if you get a good people not wanting to be videoed it is weird man I mean there was a town in Colorado that passed a law letting you hunt them so if you see one in the sky you're allow to shoot it down I love it yeah I love it I like that too I used to have a bit about that when Amazon was going to uh start

68:49delivering packages I go that's going to be like in down south it's going to be like ski shooting with prizes they're just going to shoot down what'd you get what' you get that is what it's like yeah just absolutely shoot those things out of the air that's one of the I one time uh I was over a friend's house and we were at a pool and one just hear just came up was just hovering over the pool looking at us like a like Pur my wife's there at a bikini and like what are you doing and like I was like you know I had my usual overreaction like is this how it's going to be is this the future I will get a gun I don't give a I will have a cardboard cut out of me so I can in in the in the video or some somehow I was going to get away with it just need a good Bird gun you know good uh 20 gauge just shoot it out of the sky something that scatters good be great you know what be great is

69:49if you knew whose it was and you could have somebody filming their face when you shot their out of the sky how despite their invasion of your own prop property how wronged that they would feel what's weird that's not there's no law above your house like if someone flew that into your house it'd be a problem if someone drove it into your yard it'd be a problem but if they hover over your house yeah it's airspace that's weird right how does that work with like say if you wanted to fly over Kim Kardashian's house in a helicopter and take pictures of her are you allowed to how's that work H yeah there's noise ordinances or like you can only fly so low how low uh you're helicop usually it's like I wouldn't go lower than 700 ft especially in Santa Monica those people they hate that airport there and they want all of those people out of there they're killing that airport you know they

70:39they've been trying to do that forever they are now though they're going to turn into a park all right yeah they uh they just passed it it's going to I think it goes out in I think it's 2020 goes under oh they have three more years of uh airport people are pissed though all those people that live in like Marina Del Rey and all those places around there with a lot of cash and they will park their jet there they're pissed the Malibu folks want to fly right in there and just oh my God yes yeah that was perfect well now they have to go to Van I Torrance yeah van eyes it's a rough you go to Torrance you're going to be in traffic for two hours uh yeah no that's all kind of amazing that they passed that you know that those people couldn't figure out a way to bribe their way keep in that airport sure but it the three years is a long time do you remember in New York City when they first had those

71:27videos you know advertising in the back of cabs and everybody was like these are making me car sick get these things the out of here people had such a reaction to it they went away and then like few years later they just came back just came back now everybody loves them they're gross just touching that screen all of that it's bad enough being in the cab let's and you just see the fingerprints it's bad enough opening and closing the door but I can't see the fingerprints those screens I I I I don't I don't like them well it's always loud too they're always loud and they're playing you ads and some entertainment news TV show or something like that yep I feel like a hypocrite because I do advertising on my podcast so how mad can I get but I do draw the line when I go to pump gas they're like hey it's gas TV blah blah blah and they're just pumping it super loud you do ads on your podcast

72:11but you on the ads like I I I heard you doing an ad from meundies with the the new one what they're doing with the uh the gay pride thing and you're like I see what you're doing I see what you're doing yeah that's what they're doing it's just like it's very hard to get I think straight guys get into like we're animals you know what I mean we don't we don't have the sense of style maybe you get a couple of metrosexuals but yeah I just felt like that was a great like what can we what what can we pretend to care about that will get us to sell more underwear and that was that was the way to go I what I just say things I don't I just felt like that was do you you know you know you know what it really is I have two pairs and they're very Greg lanus I'll tell you little ones they they're little ones and I put them on to make my wife laugh and she did laugh but she goes no I kind of like

73:00them I'm like these are just too little I get the boxer briefs oh they have boxer briefs there that's all I wear I'm wearing them right now I swear to God the best underwear I'm joking I'll show you um I thought you know what for some reason I thought you would have like the tear away fight ones oh the polka dots that's great that looks like uh the yogurt that they have um yogurt what that sprinkles TCBY y sprinkles in your um men froz fro yo um all right have I kept you here long enough I think I have there's going to there's going to be traffic you got to get out of here I don't know I just I just wasn't sure fig if the point you're showing me your underwear I think we kind of kind of cover in yeah we've kind of covered it if there's anything else you want to bring up I'll uh what have you shot lately uh animal wise I shot a pig a couple months ago oh well the animals what else did

73:50you shoot no just animals oh okay thought there was something else no no no no thought you inching towards B Cher I'll give you some uh pig meat damn I don't have it here you I always get the elk I give you elk and pig next time see I still have the elk left over from the last time do you okay I have plenty of elk but uh I want the wild boar I I'll give you like a quarter like a real a real like leg like a boore leg yeah dude I live in a house man I don't have the the serial killer meat freezer that I know that you have you just got to tell me when you're going to cook and I'll give it to you the day you cook it all right that's not gonna happen that was one of those yeah no I was just thinking I'll go on YouTube and fill go go to how to cook a a a pig leg Yeah we just got to slow cook it just slow cook you you could brine it first I like to brine things you know I get you

74:42ever use those Yeti Coolers you know what a Yeti cooler is it's like a super really cold it's a very insulated cooler like you could put ice in it and leave it outside in the sun and five days later it'll still have ice okay so you take one of those put some ice in it and some sort of a bucket fill the bucket up with uh salt water J sugar yeah a bunch of in there garlic stuff like that and then brine brine the meat and then make it extra tender your wife if she's a witch what and then you it's just like brining is just such an old school thing TI somebody do a steak and then uh that point the uh you know what I heard they never really they weren't really burning witches at the steak that was they would drown them I'm like well that's just as terrifying why didn't no you got to go with drowning yeah gotta go with drowning why is that oh dude this for a

75:34minute or just it you just take a big inhale I think what they would do is if if they would figure if you didn't drown you were definitely a witch and if you drowned they up they were like my bed sorry witches well somebody's doing something cuz there's a lot of weird going on you know how you get out of that one is that amazing though that that's what they used to think they used to think that someone was doing witchcraft when things would go wrong I don't think that's amazing cuz I think that's that kind of thought has just slid into other that people think you know do you know what the root of it was in the Salem Rich Witch Trials it was uh they got a late Frost and uh their bread like apparently when you get a late Frost and wheat you can get some weird mold that grows on the wheat and this wheat was growing this uh type of mold called Urgot and Urgot has the same

76:27properties as LSD so these people were eating the bread and tripping their balls off and they thought that those dumb hats those hat it even really freaky with the belt buckle on your hat how's the belt buckle on your shoes we used to have those stupid buckles on their shoes I'm sorry I I did the go go I did the comedy comic thing go ahead no go ahead so anyway so they're tripping on this and they so they thought that these people were Bewitched they thought they were getting witched they were getting hexed by witches and so so they had these people that they didn't trust and they were freaking out because they were un acid and uh that's like one of the primary theories isn't that crazy can you imagine being on acid in the 1700s how much you'd be freaking out yeah I mean there's no information on it what's I actually I thought some of the uh the original people whatever

77:14you're supposed to call them now indigenous people you're not supposed to say that natives I said that in Canada and somebody yeah the the the ogs in Canada I think they called them original First Nation yeah yeah they have a different name for them in Canada First Responders they got weird rules in Canada do you know they can go out at night with flashlights and shoot deer and moose they flash flashlights on them all year round they don't have any any rules they have that in America too like uh they they don't have like game laws for the Native American reservation areas like they can just the flashlights um I'm actually doing a gig for the cops tomorrow are you what are you doing just something for the Cali California Highway Patrol where it's a good move I don't know yeah you can never know enough cops never know never know enough cops you have no idea when

78:01you're going to snap and you're going to need a cop to show up oh Joe yeah get out of here come on you're not hurt that bad buddy walk it off walk it off you'll be fine um I think they're all the motorcycle guys I want to talk to I was hoping I was going to uh meet some of the their helicopter Pilots cuz those they fly like 300 ft the balls those guys have really yeah they right over people's houses and they got to sit there in a Circle yeah for like an hour nauseous looking at it first moov to La this girl I was dating uh right outside of her house someone broke into someone's house and they had the helicopter flying over the head it was creepy like you look outside the window you'd see the spotlight moving across the city street seen that going down to the Improv that the building still exists if you park just east of uh of Crescent Heights there's a building and on the

78:56second floor they have ceiling Toof floor windows and something somebody broke in there and they had like the the the the helicopter Spotlight was on it and I watched two cops like a movie walking down that hallway with their guns drawn slowly walking in just sitting there like what the is this wow yeah that was like probably like four months into moving here the craziest I ever saw with cops live was on TV during the North Hollywood shootout were you in La back then I was in Vegas but I was living in La yeah those guys that had the the head to toe body armor yeah they had head to toe body armor trunks filled with guns they were all steroid it up out of their mind crazy probably on meth and just gunning down cops right tripping some of that Urgot yep that was that was crazy that was CRA we were uh on news radio it was uh we're in the the lunchroom like our break room watching

79:51on TV going what in the just they were live shooting from there dude I would have retired the next day as a cop I would have been like is this what the future is and I'm you're going to give me this little peashooter like this is what I'm supposed to do I'm done yeah a lot of them did I'm sure I would have I that would have been it when they were Crouch behind their car and that guy remember that guy spraying the yeah you know I love how people going like oh then they went up and shot the guy who was clearly hurt there I mean yeah they wouldn't pull him away they let him bleed out he got shot under the vest he got like took one under the vest in the gut and they let them bleed out people were complaining good yeah exactly good that's what you get my mother would have said well you shouldn't have shot at the police that's what you get that's what you get you know now you alone maybe

80:36there's reincarnation you'll you'll learn next time you're supposed to be above I got more kids above that if you're a peace officer for whatever reason no that's stupid I agree that's like an athletes when someone says crazy to your face you you're supposed to be above that no punch him right in I in a perfect world in a perfect world someone woman on Twitter the other day lady some lady on Twitter was harassing Donald Trump and Donald Trump blocked her which is hilarious so she showed that Donald Trump blocked her and then she said she's contacting a lawyer and she said that the president shouldn't be able to block her and everybody's like what the are you talking about and then people started harassing her so she started blocking people and they're like listen you crazy this is what's called a hypocrite like you can't do just picturing him the White House you

81:25know when you scroll with both your thumbs just sitting there and typing like mad this is what he's doing blocking people on Twitter yeah he blocks people it's hilarious you know what else he does he watches five hours of TV a day how the does he have time I don't have time to watch five hours of TV a day people know how to delegate that's what he's doing he's delegating his time to the vice president I bet he looks at him like he's his Ward and just you know military codes are over there and just I mean the Hannity yeah Hannity's still on our team talking about me he bad I I don't I don't know I look I couldn't handle that job dude Howard Stern had the funniest take on him on on Donald Trump was saying like why the would you take that job at your age yeah he goes you got you got like eight good Summers left he go you're going to spend that taking all this he just kept going back to

82:24that you get Ain Summers left he kept yelling a good take on dude it was hilarious and it was it was perfect yeah why would you do that the end of life you're a billionaire just go enjoy your money ego it could do it all could do it all BR I could be the president is that cuz they trashed him at the brunch 100% he was like you I'll show you cuz they they mocked him made fun of him cuz that was during the birth put him right in the middle of the room yeah do you know every roast is's always that raw meat guy and you don't realize you're that guy until all of a sudden the roast starts it's just like oh I'm the guy I'm the guy for when everybody runs out of jokes for the guy that they're hosting that that they're roasting yeah um yeah that's it's brutal yeah and he was you know and they they said one thing to him that was hilarious like but I'm one thing that

83:12you'll never be and that's the president of the United States that was one of the things that Obama said yeah and he shut them all and he had to hand over the keys to the house I mean that had to aband God he probably never saw it coming there's no Way's no way this guy's going to run no way this guy's going to win no and in a weird way it was sort of like a reverse like Bully movie cuz it was the Liberals doing it to him and they were totally bullying the guy 100% but he was bullying Obama with the whole thing yeah the birther thing right so I don't know they're still going after that bir of I saw something yesterday on some website that was uh showing how they have all these different confirmed sources that are showing that the Obama birth certificate was fake and I hope it was fake so undo his presidency it already happened what yeah what can you do but I I hope it was

84:03fake I hope he scammed the country listen the the the NBA had that mobbed up ref and he said that he the Warriors out of and I mean the uh the Kings out of that Series against the Lakers no one's going to take the Lakers title away for that year what happened really yeah is that real yeah what is it he was a referee who was fixing games no yep really that's how much you don't watch Sports I don't watch sports at all no it was fixed Tim donah 100% of NBA ref's gamble what what that's crazy but he's also like he's in jail now he's just trying to say but like I don't this is the guy that was the ref that was in jail yeah but like he he is that him right there yeah he fixed game he used to say from in jail he goes you tell me who's ring the game and I'll tell you who wins wow he spent 15 months in prison after pleading guilty of two charges of the case he's out fre how much do you you

84:53think he made he joined Callin Colin card Wednesday afternoon had a fascinating answer when asked what percentage he said 100 wow no that's no that's no no that's just that's just a jailbird talk I used to gamble on UFC fights way back in the early days when I first started working for them I was like who gives a I can't really affect the outcome so like many many years ago like I would they would they' bring in these guys like they'd bring in some guy from like like Brazil that I knew about and I would look at the line and i' like you guys are out of your mind this guy should be like a 10 to1 favorite and you got him in an underdog I'm like o I'm putting some money on that and I put some money on it but then after a while I was like this is probably not smart you know I don't think it's illegal because I can't it's not good for the company no it's also not good for me if

85:43I come off as biased anyway you know I've been accused of being a biased commentator anyway even worse he didn't tap out come on keep it going come on yeah but um that's a that's a different kind of thing though gambling when you're a referee is a big deal yeah and that's a game that's easily fixed how do they fix it what do they do because you can you can take stars out of the game by giving them fouls oh is that what they did yeah what did this guy mobed up guy just you just sit people down it's just like if you're the best player on the team in the first quarter I give you two quick fouls I'm not going to see you again until the second quarter and I've never fixed a game but I mean I'm just you know I'm just I give you another one in the second quarter I don't see it till the next half and at some point you're going to get mad if I keep calling fouls I might get

86:32you on a technical foul that saves me a Ticky Tac foul and then that counts towards your fouls and then two fouls uh two technicals you're out of the game you're ejected so was it obvious that this guy was doing fouls that he was I thought it was obvious that the NBA was kind of fixed for a while like I was sitting going like yeah I just I went to a game one time the Celtics versus Utah Jazz and I'm watching the game and like just like the game starts they're letting them play and then they're calling it tight and then they're letting them play then they're calling it tight and it's like there was never an EB and flow in how they were calling the game it's like a an Umpire you know you seen the first inning the guy will step out of the box going okay that's a strike tonight okay cool just finding out where your strike zone is but like an Umpire if you start changing

87:13the strike zone kind of changing Sports on you here it's like people are going to know like what the going on you got to be consistent so like with um NBA refs BA games you would watch and it's just like oh they're calling it close tonight ah he's letting the boys play and like that was the game they wouldn't just keep obviously if it got really out of hand they would tighten down but I never saw a game where it was just like you're pulling back on the Range you're letting them run you're pulling back you're letting them run and it just made me feel like they were shaving points or something I remember for years I said the game was fixed and um everybody said I was out of my mind and then they find a guy who's all mobbed up and I go damn Vindication they go oh it's just one guy now when you say mobbed up like how was he mobbed up what was what was the issue

87:57with that guy that's just an expression I don't want to get in trouble with anybody but he was basically working for other people that uh were part of a gambling that took uh you know bookies or whatever right and he did something to make sure that the the game leaned in that direction like you couldn't totally fix it so if a team was favored by eight and they want him to win by eight he'd make sure it happened probably it's probably easier to make sure they didn't by over their offense and then they would just you know they try to get money like look if you're a legit bookie all you're trying to do is get an even amount of money on each side right okay because with the combination of people teasing and plus the juice and all of that you're you're going to end up on top you don't want a bunch of money all on one side and losing your shirt so what these

88:42guys would do is you get greedy after a while it's like I'm sick of this Ticky Tac let's go for a big score they wouldn't do it every game they just every once in a while be like all right listen here's a game probably you know I don't I don't know I've never fixed a game I'm just guessing how they would go about doing it but fix this one all right make sure these guys don't don't don't win by eight so did this guy admit that he fixed it yeah yeah he went to jail went jail so but he went to jail for gambling on it right but Heil for fixing it for fixing it so what what did he say he said like he made fouls that weren't really fouls well yeah yeah you do you do all yeah whatever he had to do this is what his attorney submitted saying the manipulation that happened during one game officiating a playoff series between team five and Team Six in May of 2002

89:28was a six game of a seven game series and a team five victory that night would have ended the series however Tim learned from referee a that referees a and F wanted to extend the series of seven games Tim knew referees a and F to be Company Men in quotes uh always acting in the interest of the NBA and that night it was in the NBA's interest to add another game so the NBA wanted to fix it yeah for who the NBA fixed it referees a and F heavily favored team six personal fouls resulting in obviously injured players were ignored even when they occurred in full view of the referees conversely the referees called madeup fouls on team five look up the highlights of the Lakers uh wow Kings game it was ridiculous the fouls that they were call but that's my thing is when they said it was just one guy it's like how long could you be on an officiating crew while the and and one

90:15of your guys' dirty before you'd realize like what the is this guy doing yeah well what about the guys that were betting on the other team I'd want to kill that referee can you imagine if you saw him call fouls that weren't really fouls and you knew what was going on you knew your money was going out the window but I think they're really susceptible to it because like the amount of money that NBA players make is insane right they make like you know some of the contracts that they have coming up and there's and so there's so few guys on the team and there's like every year the draft is like two rounds in the draft like NFL goes on forever there's 40 something guys on a team in the NFL there's 20 something in baseball 20s something in uh in the NHL and I think I think basketball it's no more than 11 or 12 guys so it's a very small group of people and the income that they're

91:08generating like they're Revenue share I don't know it's all that's all like super sports nerd like I don't know how that works but some of the contracts that they that some of these guys have been signing like they can afford to pay that guy that so now you're a ref and you're running with your black aerobic rebu sneakers up and down the court you know the velcro Clos yeah yes and you're seeing the cars these guys are getting in and all the women hanging out and you're on the stage too you're running up and down no one gives a about you and uh I don't know what the pension is for the NBA but like if I was in the NBA I would if I was running i' would be like we got to triple these guys salary is this the salaries the players or the referees NBA player salaries for right now what about the referees though so look at that way l 35 million a year for LeBron that's just

91:57that's just what he makes to play hoop right not about most of their sneaker contracts are like more than what they make it's nuts it's nuts it's a lot of cash hey good for them I'm not I'm not like saying they shouldn't make the money obviously if people putting it out they're earning it for them but like f can you put up what a ref makes do you know who Mike connley is yeah yeah yeah that's what's hilarious I only know like the biggest guys like that Mike con some oh That's Mike connley who the that I don't know who that is either I made $30 million last year he's the highest played player in the NBA he it's because the contract he sign a guy named Mike connley yeah he was he's the starting point guard for the Memphis Grizzlies yeah oh there you go that's it's this amount of time like his contract came up at the time last year and the uh when the rest of the guys are going to get

92:40more this coming year and the following year the TV contracts have gone up and there's a percentage they're going up each year based off of the TV rights and that's why it I watched almost every Celtic game last year I never heard Mike con Mike Conley that sounds like a he went to he went to Ohio State same year as Greg Odin who was that big bust and he was his point guard is he still playing in China or no no he's actually Ohio State assistant coach right now he went back to school for playing in China that's when it gets weird right you got to go overseas to Europe you playing for 100 grand a year you're like I don't know sometimes if you're famous enough they'll they'll give you a little more I don't know how that works either I don't know how a lot of works I just know I have a show coming out called f for family that's why I'm here the average salary of the

93:22NBA ref is from 150 Grand to 550 Grand that's a big spread what about the guy who's making the extra four how's he getting extra four average salaries have spiked considerably since 1983 when NBA officials made between 18,000 and 78,000 each season 550 Grand is not bad that's a lot of scratch so you'd have to give them enough money where they don't feel tempted to cheat right yeah that's the problem with politicians right you make 550 Grand a year you're making 50 Grand a year more than the president so you're kind of like those guys are like set up to be like here's a job that cost a 100 million to get and you're going to get paid 500 Grand so you're just setting them up to have to cut deals with people what do you think is going to happen with Trump I have no idea I don't even know the highest paid guy in the NBA I have no if you if you had a guess though do you think this is

94:12gonna he's goingon to last yes you don't think he's going to go to jail in the in the middle of this no no no I watched Clinton get impeached he stayed right but Clinton got impeached for just not telling the truth about an affair Nixon should have stayed you think so he should have just stayed and just been like you know all right I B that room I apologize to American people and that's it I think the stress is too much for them though when the whole world comes after him like that everywhere you look every newspaper I I think I think we'll be fine he's watching five hours of TV and he's on Twitter blocking people I mean what else is he EA a peanut butter and fluffing another sandwich I mean he's living like a kid well it's hard to see when you read articles about them it's hard to know who's writing the article and why they're writing it right like are

95:00they writing this article because they really believe that he's gaining weight and he's solemn and he's down the dumps or are they trying to just put that out there like how the do they know he's down the dump just trying to sell paper so how they know he's Sullen and comes home upset and he's gaining weight he does seem like he's gaining weight though seems like he's getting a little fat a little depression well I mean there's obviously most of the people it seems in the media hate the guy so they're going to be just he's just yeah but that's how they chip away at you right start talking about how you're coming home and you're depressed and you're despondent you're not listening to anybody yeah how how do they know that how do they know that our sources say how do they know that our sources say negative things about the guys we don't like well you were talking about Tiger

95:41Woods on your podcast I was listening to it on the way over here and I I totally agree with you you're saying like when Tiger's World fell apart like how the do you know like what do you did you talk to him like you don't know him like you didn't have a conversation I'm sure that was a brutal couple of years but it was 10 years ago yeah and in 10 years he hasn't up other than this DUI so I mean yeah he up but you know I got busted for that in ' 89 so I'm going to judge him right the DUI apparently he's on some back medication that's what it is he mixed his medication that's what he's saying but they said he smelled like booze but I don't know if that's true you should just take the hit just be like ah you know I up I was hanging with the fellas and blah blah blah I'm not and I'm not condoning what the guy did but I'm not going to sit there and judge the

96:24guy and be like I was watching some guy and he was trying to say that you know you know he let us down he he sold himself as a family man it's like you built that whole narrative yeah you built that whole Nar I just watched them play golf all I ever want to do when I watch golf is watch those guys crush it like I love John Daly I love that he's like you I like drinking he just kept drinking smoking cigarett smoking cigarettes big gut and he would hit it a Mile and I loved watching it well tiger always had a very bizarre style apparently I don't play golf but apparently people that I've talked to that explain to me the way he would hit the ball like that's not the way they teach you to do it but he could do it so well that way but he would put like ridiculous amounts of torque yes on his on his body they they said from the beginning that his body was going to break down if he keeps

97:17doing that there was a period where He adjusted his swing and he stopped uh he stopped winning then he came back again and um I just think that what they said there was a bunch of guys Earl Campbell they said if he keeps running like that he's wide open he's going to have problems Bobby or the way he played hockey if you throw yourself around you really beat the out of your body like that happens and it just coincided with his personal life falling apart so everybody goes oh that's the reason why you know somebody wins that's the reason why somebody loses like look I'm not saying you don't go to a couple year Funk if you yeah your life falls apart in the personal area but it's just like the rest of that you know that was I mean that's just a bunch of hype like for him it's like a double dump though you know I mean the thing happens personally with his personal life and it

98:06happens publicly where everybody gets to see it and then on top of that his bodies falling apart at the same time no matter what he did yeah no matter what he went to church every week he was going to up his back and his knees and they and they did but then they're trying to equate it to uh you know whatever the it's like what he did was none of my business it's none of my business I don't want to know about it I hate knowing about you know I feel bad if somebody like if their marriage falls apart I feel bad if they get busted for drink drop you know I mean it happens if you up and it's your fault you should get punched but like the cops are handling it they arrested him the courts will handle it do I need do I need to pile on and start wagging my hypocritical finger at him my pasty freckled you don't have to because you're a comedian and you're funny and your take on things can be

98:50have some compassion look at it for what it is make fun poke at it but when you're one of those straight up Sports commentator guys you don't have a whole lot of wiggle room as far as what you could say and what you don't say and you got to go right down the middle and attack like the principles yeah go Disney I mean what does it say about the fabric what about his ethics of our community you know the morals of our country this creates a culture look at this Tiger Woods is lost in every literal and figurative Way by Ian o' Conor ESPN sports right no the Tiger Wood you met in Jupiter Florida police report is not the Tiger Woods presented to you by Tiger his sponsors and his reps that Woods here's the thing what this is ESPN those guys on TV what they present is not who the they are yeah look at this I mean this is so ridiculous they're saying that Woods is a new and improved human being

99:44since it's extra marital sex scandal from Hell A Better father and friend with or without a golf in his life how do you know what happen have sympathy for the guy who wrote this cuz he got to he's got to write he has to write it you know Conor has to sit down and like ah Jesus Christ how am I going to keep being a senior writer unless I act like this actually bothers me you have to write something inflammatory you have to write something salacious you gota you got to get people to click you got to get a lot of clickbait why can't this fat shoot off his fireworks in his own country that Fatu wa wa his son we do it all the time we light off in the ocean kill all this fish that people could have ate killed whales yeah kill whales with test yeah and then this guy shoots off a rocket and everybody's like oh who hey what are you doing well he's threatening us Bill huh he's threatening

100:30America dude I I you know I worried that we're coming after I love a talker we probably are oh we are for sure with Trump I pitched this on somebody else's podcast what they should do is they should eliminate war and then what it is is your leaders go into the Octagon they're not allowed to work out or anything not allow not allow to work out no they go in the octagon so you get to see like right now who's your number one world leader I got to go Putin yeah 100% Judo black belt is he he looks like he headbutt you yeah he's a judo black Bel he'll up every other world leader 100% just pictured him choking out Trump would be he would kill Trump he would he trip him the ground can you imagine the sound of his foot hitting the side of this guy's son's belly just a nice liver shot would be the funniest ever and everybody sits there and like whatever you whatever the dispute

101:24is yeah this is our territory this is your ter it's just solved with world leader mixed martial arts you go and you can do whatever you want it'd be like the early days of that where the guy came in with the one boxing glove like Trump trump could still wear his tie walking in with like the little tight shorts on and he can keep wing tip shoes on if you want to keep you can do whatever the you want to do within reason I I don't want to be too violent but they just have to oh dude it be hilarious cuz what first of all that doesn't the uh the son have to wear glasses too in uh in uh the the Kim Jong eel part two the sequel the son K does he wear glasses yeah so he'd have to come in with the Kareem goggles you know prescription level like a basketball player if they make those in North Korea you know what I mean you get them from China China will send them to

102:16them they're friends just solve it that way dude did you have your laptop custom painted that looks like a better color than mine no the new ones come in two colors they come in a dark gray or a light gray it's a dark gray one I have to throw my out I'm I'm going to personally put mine in the ocean do you have the brand new one that gives the throwing mine in the ocean to kill some SE kids and what do they do see all the porn I used to watch and then they number start shooting missiles off um all right dude Bill bur get out of here before the tra you so much my pleasure brother thank you for the offer of the pig leg I'll take that off you next time all right is for family it's one of the funniest shows you will ever watch in your life it's on Netflix right now go binge binge you freaks thank you thank you that