Tom Segura & Christina Pazsitzky

00:00Tell me, what are you drawing? I'm just writing down Capiscoco chairs. Oh, yeah. From ergod depot. Oh, that's me. How rude of me. Uh, ergodepo.com. Oh, ergodo is uh the company that provided us with these. I I love these chairs. I'm not getting paid for this ad. This isn't even an ad. I just tell people with if you have back issues, get a really good ergonomic chair. It makes a giant difference. Cuz for me, I'm sitting in this thing when I do podcasts for 3 hours in a setting and my back doesn't bother me. When I would use a regular office chair, I would sit in it for an hour and I'd start get I start getting knotted up. When the podcast was over, I'd have to grab like a ball and rub my back out. Not with these. I think and I think it's better for my back. I think it acts when you force yourself to sit in a good posture. I think it's like an exercise for your back. And the more

00:50you do it, like I'm super conscious of it now. Like cuz I've always had super bad posture. I used to slump and then lean my head forward. Those are two terrible things that I would do. That's how I sit during our show. You have bad practically lay down. So bad to do. It looks terrible, too. You know, I I would do it when I would write too and it would bind up in the top of my back. So if I'd write for a few hours, I'd be like, "Oh." But ever since I got these things, man, you know what else is really good? A ball. Just one of those blowup balls. Those those to sit on those. Yeah. Those workout balls. Do you find that it carries over to like when you sit somewhere else now you have better posture because of this? Really? Yeah. This is how I sit now. I try to at least except when I'm for whatever reason I don't enjoy television like this. You got to slouch, right? Yeah. If

01:35I'm watching Naros, I got to have like feet up. I got to be kicked back. Do you love it? Isn't season two so good? God, it's so good. There's rumors about the next three or four seasons. What? How are they going to do that? because supposedly, as you would say, thank you. Um, they're supposed to do the the rumor was that they're going to go do a Miami season because now the whole cartel battle goes to Miami and like Gresell the Blanco and stuff. She's my favorite. And then and then uh season uh uh four or five would be how the Mexican cartels took over. Oh my god. And like El Chapo and stuff. Oh, of course. Um, my uncle Billy Corbin, uh, my friend who's been on this podcast before is a guy made, you know, Billy. Oh, yeah. Cocaine Cowboys one and two. If you haven't seen them, just stop what you're doing. They're amazing. You watch that documentary and you go, "What the

02:28fuck?" Unfortunately, he's a Miami graduate, but he's a nice nice kid. Yeah. Is this a Florida rivalry talk? Of course. You got y'all guys got to talk some Yeah. Uh, he's lucky they're they're good this year. We'll see. No idea what you're about. Wait, is that the one with Griselda and her suitor and their love story? Yes. So cool. Jamie Cosby or something like that. His name was Cosby. Really? Yeah. Yeah. The the the guy that that ends up like falling in, you know, whatever. Seeing her while she's locked up in Cocaine Cowboys 2. His last name is Cosby. I remember that. Oh, that's right. He was the guy that was like her boyfriend outside, but she found out he was banging other chicks and she got real pissed. And when he started seeing her, he was like, "I just want to make money and I'm trying to move weight." And she was like, "What do you want?" And he's like, "Uh, a kilo."

03:15And she like had someone drop off like 5 kilos to start it off. And he was like, "Oh my god." And then that dude was really trafficking. It's a real love story. Yeah. It's a beautiful story. Look at that. There it is. Billy's sons. Charles Cosby. Slinging that good kick. Yep. How much would How much to bang Griselda? He must listen for that guy. That's the goddamn lottery. Yeah. Oh, it was it was you get hard for her. You'll figure out a way. This is all pre Viagra, too. And they're doing Coke. Look at them making out there. Ooh. Good for her. Criselda was so crazy. Yeah, dude. I never heard that story until there's so many pictures. Until uh Cocaine Cowboys. I had never heard of this. Never heard it either. So good. It's such a good documentary. She got killed just a couple years after she got out. She went back to Columbia, got killed. She went back and they had

04:12pictures of her out on the street. That's perfect, right? JLo's going to play her. Yeah, she looks exactly like her. What? JLo has a perfect face. Yes. Like, look at that face. She really does. No wonder why she's so uh needy. Yeah, she's carrying around the Willy Wonka golden ticket. Like, you better listen, Look at this face. Look at this ass. It's kind of crazy like to have that much power. Like that girl has like she's she's like a hypnotist. Yeah. If she stares at you, you like I mean me and my wife aren't getting along that great. She just to leave. She's so hot. Yeah. I mean, come on, man. Yeah. And she's been doing it for a minute, too. She's like 50 years old. No. She's in late 40s. Got to be. She's a dime piece. You know, I just remembered about Griselda from that documentary is that she named her son Michael Corleó. Oh, did she really? Wow. That's a really

05:15good name for a kid. We were thinking of naming our next child Carl's Jr. Yeah, that'd be kind of a good name. I don't know if this is true or if it's just a rumor, but the rumor was that JLo's boyfriend, who's this 20 28-year-old handsome dancer fella, he wanted to go to the UFC and uh she told him that he had to come with her to some charity thing in uh in New York and he said, "No, I'm going to the fights and she broke up with him." Whoa. Wow. She tells you what to do. Yeah. She tells you where to go. You got to go with her. Yeah, of course. You have to go with her. The rules. Your little dance. That's his That's her little, you know. Yeah, exactly. Lap dog. Back down. background dancer. me, look good, and you come to charity events. That's the deal. Those those relationships get super weird in the 60s. Like once you get to Griselda's age, that's when those

06:03relationships get real. You mean as the hot woman, the when the woman no longer is hot? Yes. I think your life falls apart if that's all you've banked on your whole life. You don't you know Yeah. If someone's 20, 30 years younger than you. Well, it's not just that, right? I mean, if your entire thing is based on what you look like, if that's all you've really paid attention to and that's what you really rock is just that, not your personality, not not your your enjoyment or your hobbies or anything like that, you not only does it take it's taken away from you, but you've had it your whole life. So, you're accustomed to people approaching you and communicating you with like extreme like niceness and kindness and desire. And men are just tripping over themselves to be with you. Like you have a magic potion that you put on. Not only does that go away, but you become repulsive,

06:53right? Yeah. As it all starts, it gets weird. And if you if you can't buy into it, if you want to extend your ears, then you start getting your face cut open. Yeah. You start getting weird done. You start getting your lips done. Uh you have a mouth that goes ear to ear. Yeah. Like they keep pulling their face back until their mouth keeps growing. Yeah. Yeah. I think there's a certain something to surrendering to your age, right? Like it's you've got to better alternative a far better alternative to be the dignified older woman who hasn't had her face up. Yeah. A handsome older woman. That's what I'll be handsome. It's um it's just a a thing that we haven't like even if you've been they I guess they probably been doing surgery on people's faces for like 20 years or 30 years, right? How long how long ago do you think they started? I think probably in the between

07:4530 and 40 years something like that. It's you're still an early adopter. Oh yeah. Well, you see like now the move is if you're going to do that, it's the mild, right? It's it's the type of the facelift or the nose job where you go something looks different, but you can't tell. That's a that's a primo job. When you see somebody, you're like, Jesus Christ, that's oh my god, look at this. Egypt 3000 BC. So, you're close. Few years before we get 70. Um, I don't trust like Botox and I know they're like, "It's fine. You can inject botulism uh into your face with no repercussions." I just don't. It's not. It can't be fine. It can't be mine. It's got to be toxic. It's going to melt your face off. We're going to have a bunch of women with melted faces in a few years. There's a bunch of doctors right now that are mad at us because we don't know what we're talking about. Of course. But

08:34I got to I got to assume just assume that if you're paralyzing your face, right? That That's weird, too. You talk to people who can't do that, you know, they're a little too shiny. You notice that? Oh, yeah. Something happens there. Waxy. They look waxy. I think it's too shiny. Like, why is your head so shiny? Yeah. It doesn't move and it's shiny. It's not. Plus, you know, there's a time in a season to be the hot chick. Like, I love I love Pamela Anderson. We We all did do. But I like I know there there was a time where she didn't surrender. Like, you're the hot chick for a minute and then you're you're just not. It's got to be tough to give up though. It's got to be tough psychologically that that rush you get from all that attention. Oh yeah. As that you don't get that feeling anymore, that's got to be really hard to deal with, you know? Oh, yeah. I could only

09:22imagine. I mean, how could you uh I don't I don't think I mean, there's probably very few things in life that are like that where you just don't get back. You know what? probably similar to an aging uh rocker where you play out, you know, you're you're playing stadiums and people are like you get that adoration of everyone coming to your shows and it's like h like maybe you don't you don't move the tickets anymore or you just stop touring like there's going to be an adjustment. It's not just stadiums to okay, I just don't do that anymore because it's too much of a rush. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Pick up heroin. See, some aging rock stars for some reason or another, they still pull it off. Like, like Mick Jagger can still pull it off. But I think that's it's not just that he can't like he first of all goes out and still does it and puts on the great show, but

10:12I think the reason that he does is because you don't want to give up that that rush, that feeling of playing the stadiums, you know, probably. And it's also probably fun, right? Really fun, right? How do you how is it not fun to be MC Jagger? Boston. Yeah. Apparently, he works out like twice a day. Really? Apparently, he's a freak. He's super disciplined. He does yoga and push-ups and sit-ups and all kinds of crazy Runs. Wow. Yeah. Apparently, he's 70s something. He's old as Yeah. As apparently he's super dedicated to exercise. Does you think Keith has the same workout regimen or 100%. Yeah. Yeah. It's just Keith is probably not doing heroin anymore. Probably not. They don't live that long if they do. Yeah. Maybe that get that good heroin. Oh, there he goes. So here he's doing sit-ups. Wow. And apparently like look at all his dance moves. I mean what sevenyear-olds can dance

11:07like that that are men? Look at him. I know. There's also like a flexibility to his spine that you rarely see. Like how old is MC Jagger? Let's guess. Let's guess. I'm guessing 74. Uh I'm guess 73. 68. God with 68. You think so? Yeah. Button your lips, baby. Button your 73. Who Who nailed it? Somebody nailed it. I did. Who nailed it? Beautiful. Bam. You used my guess to How many 73 year olds moved like that? No. My dad. Come on, man. When you're 73, that is done. And he's like he's like slinky, you know? Like he's got like a he's still got like a little thing to him. James Brown was moving real crazy. Old B. Like that was from drugs though, right? But but I mean he was doing You're like yoga. Somebody 25 can't pull off half of this you know? Well, he was a freak. Yeah, he's a freak. And he probably just did it. He probably tore his hips apart. Well, so did Prince

12:11did he was still doing this. Yeah, those those little toes were moving around still all the time. Well, Prince used to do like crazy dance stuff where we would spin around, do the splits. Is this uh James Brown? Come on, man. James Brown gives you dancing. Is you are you playing? Look at this guy. Okay, there's no volume, so we're just watching dance. Dude, Christ. Oh, well, he had some crazy moves, too. But this is a different style of dance that existed in like 1960s black America. And he was the man, dude. Do you ever see him in Africa when he uh he played the concert in Zire before Muhammad Ali fought Joe Foreman or George Foreman? Dude. Dude, really? Yeah. It's him and Zire. James Brown was one of the baddest of all time. Without a doubt, for sure. Just a freak of freaks. Yeah. Out of his mind. People are just basically, you know, all soul R&B artists are just trying to do a version

13:11of what he did. For sure. There's nobody before him like that. Like you you have to put it into context, you know, when he would come out with those capes on and like that. Yeah. This is in Zer 1974. Yeah. Does it say sex on here? Cuz I've seen one of those. Look at the size of his ass. I didn't know he had such an ass. Get the out of here. You got to think. This is 76. How old do you think he was back then? He's probably 40, man. He was a bad Look at that mustache. Look at his gear, dude. Look at his hair. Everything. They have at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, they have a basically the same outfit he has on there, but the bedazzled word is just sex. And he used to wear that. That's what he used to say on something says on his stomach right now. I think it says GFOS. Yeah. What does that mean? What does that mean? Is that George Foreman? George Foreman original.

14:04He's probably the first one like, you know, like a lot of black guys love acronyms like that. Mhm. Yeah. You know, it's a black. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um I've heard like people do like uh that are like really into like positive thinking, they do like uh like fame, you know, forgive anyone mentioning Everglades. It's always like some ridiculous one that they come up with. What is GFO is? Does anybody Godfather of soul? Oh, Godfather soul. Fear. False evidence appearing real. Right, right, right, right. That's all those weirdos on Instagram that post the inspirational aggressive Keep pushing. It's important. Stay positive from the training to the rapping. I keep I appreciate the sentiment, but it is corny. You know, has a really funny bit about that. Crystal Leia. He got a really funny bit about about h you know about those hashtag motivation people. It's really

15:05funny. It's a good bit, man. I got to see it. I haven't seen that. It's a funny bit, but it's it's it's a double-edged sword cuz on one hand, I appreciate people that are exercising, taking care of themselves. I appreciate people that are motivating people, but it's still cheesy. It's still silly. I had this lady one time come to a show that I did in Cleveland and she was in a wheelchair and she started to Oh, she bought I was selling like CDs. This is like seven years ago. And she'd be like, "Let me get 10." And I was like, "You want 10?" And I was like, "All right." And I I sold them to her. And then the next day she comes and she buys 10 more. And I go, "All right, I can't I can't let you keep buying this. Like, I'll just give them to you." No, I want to support you. And then she would start to write like she did that to open up the like email exchange. Uhhuh. and

15:58then started uh email me like ask me questions and and then download about just everything that was bothering her and things that are bad in her life and then I'm going to have this procedure done. Oh yeah, I remember this. And I was like, I'd be like, "All right, you know, I communicate with her." And then I go back and she comes again to the first show and I go, "Uh, well, you know, I just I'm glad that um you you look like you're all right." And um you know, the other thing I like about you is you're not into all those like inspirational quotes. I just told her that and she goes, "I love inspirational quotes." And I was like, "Oh, why did you bring that up?" I don't know. I think because I hate it. I hate it. And I was just thinking about like she doesn't do like keep your head up stuff like she didn't do that. I was like, you know, you you're positive

16:50without having to remind everybody about it. And she's like, no, I love that stuff. And I was like, oo. Oh, was that it? No. She was like, I'm getting my leg removed next week. And I was like, Jesus. And then she was like, I have a one of my kidneys I already took out and my son is in Afghanistan. He got shot. I'm like, I don't know what else to tell you. like you want a CD? I was talking to a dude this weekend who was a doctor. He was he was telling us about a surgery that they had to perform on this woman. She had to get her leg removed. Mhm. So they they had to cut through bone and meat and hack this woman's leg off for some medical reason. I don't know what the reason was. So they're in the middle of doing this procedure. They remove her leg and he turns around and the doctor that he's with has the leg over his head and he goes like this. Whoa. Like he's doing like some crazy

17:50caveman joke. Yeah. In in the operating room where they just removed this lady's leg. He's got it over his head. He's going like he's going to eat her or something. Like it's It's hilarious but super disturbing. Super disturbing. But I guess I mean you're just over it when you do it enough. Look, him joking around about it is not going to make her leg like not grow back or something. I mean, she's already straight. You ever witnessed surgery? You ever go in and observe surgery? I saw my own surgery. I watched my own surgery when I Yeah. my knee down. My my first uh knee operation. I wanted to watch it and so they um they gave me an epidural and uh I watched it. What do you think? It's interesting. Gnarly, though, right? Well, it's interesting to look at your body like um um like like the joints they they they seem like when when you're getting operated on, they're fixing something.

18:44The joints seem like like a hinge instead of like a part of your body. Like you see it as um you know, you see the what what a joint actually is. When you see the tissue in there cuz it's it was a complicated procedure. It's called a patella tendon graft. They open up your knee like a fish. And then they take a chunk of your patella tendon, which is your big thick, this one that's in the front. Uhhuh. It's pretty thick. And you don't need all of that. So they take like a third of it, and then they open you up and then they screw it into the bone on the top and screw it into the bone on the bottom. And then they stitch it all up. And it was so weird to watch them do that. And it was so much better after that surgery. Yeah. Well, was it was before the surgery. It was too It was wobbly. Wait a minute. So they're but you're watching and they're cutting into you and you have no

19:29feelings going cuz they when I was birthing our son there she's like do you want a mirror to see his head? I was like no let's keep going like I no no. So I mean um that's pretty amazed that you were able to look at your own body. I wanted to see it. Yeah. I I I was hoping I was never going to do this again. I'm like if I'm going to do this I want to watch it. I observed a full day of surgery. Uh like an entire day. Like I saw eight operations when I was a freshman in high school. I had the illusion that I would be a doctor. Really? I want to be a doctor. And then what kind of doctor would you be? My uncle was a doctor. He set me up at the uh Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville. And so I meet this guy and I was pretty big kid. So they're like, "What college do you go to?" And I was like, "I'm in high school." And they're like, "Okay, you ready to see this?" Like they thought I

20:18was a little more. And the first one we see is a woman who's spread eagle. She's 80 and they're removing a cyst from her vagina. And here's the thing. He goes, so he comes over cuz it he comes over to me and I'm with my dad and he goes, "Hey, don't make any like jokes while you're in here." And I go, "What are you talking about?" He goes, "She's awake. So if you're like, "Oh, look at her old She's going to hear it." Jesus Christ. And I'm like I'm like, "Okay." And I go, old No, but the best is they they go in gnarly. They open up. The cyst is the size of a softball. Oh my god. And so the guy's like, "This is the biggest cyst we've ever seen." Oh my god. Has the has another nurse go get a camera, starts documenting. He's like, "This is going to be in a journal. This is incredible." Then they rupture it and it's just shooting pus out of there. Have you ever gone to drpimplepopper.com? No.

21:18Oh boy. Headphones, please. Headphones. We're going to introduce you to the world of Dr. Pimple Pop. She's a lady on Instagram and I'm I'm obsessed with her page and she's got like millions of followers, too, cuz all she Oh, yeah. All she does is her YouTube videos and her Instagram videos are all just her popping cysts and it is strangely strangely fascin Oh no, not yet. Wait wait wait wait till you see it. You're not going to barf yet. So right now she's cutting into this woman's back who has what looks like like a small frog growing in her back. So she's like cutting the top of it off. Cutting a chunk of the meat. She's really good at not cutting it yet. Right. The scissors. Yeah. Because she wants to uh remove it in one chunk. Like sometimes she can get them in one chunk. Like she's opening it up right now with these scissors. This is not the most

22:20satisfying cuz this right now we're just looking at surgery. You okay, Christina? I don't know. I don't like it. Why are you so freaking out? Because it it just So she's snipping. Well, why you got to be so nasty, Joe? Um I I have seen so many people get cut and knocked unconscious and beat up. I'm not uh averse to looking at cyst. Now look how nasty this is once she starts squirting. Here we go. Here we go. Come on. Come on. Well, thank you. Oh, there you go. Oh god. What in the is that? That's That's a an enemy coming out of that person's body. Oh, I'm going to vomit. I think that's a back. Is that a back cyst? What is that? It's hard to tell. What is a Then what is a cyst? It's just nasty. I don't know. Just nasty I don't know what a cyst is. That was Huh? I think it's dead skin. I read about one of these recently cuz I was watching a Well, why don't you just Google it? I

23:16did. Oh, I can't while we're Oh, well, we'll find out. We did so much speculation. We did a podcast this weekend without without Jamie on the uh the computer and we were asking questions and no one ever answered the questions. We just said it was like 100% misinformation. I heard I heard it was like this. Do you want to look? I'm Hey J, I think we're all good. That was great. I got it. Thanks. I just going to get to the end of it. Oh, some of them are unbelievable. Look, there's more in there. Just push. That's like trash. It's like trash in your body. 5 minutes left on this video. I'm going to throw up. Really? Yeah. I just didn't do a damn thing to me. You just had a baby. Uh yeah, you should be like durable now. I am. But this is like Look at the hole. Yeah. It's crazy how big that hole is. Like that's a goddamn gaping hole. See, that's fine. I don't like the stuff

24:05coming out. Yeah, that's the gnarly part. I wonder why she had to do it that way. Obviously, I'm not a doctor. I'm not criticizing her technique, but I wonder um why you have to take a chunk out of the skin unless instead of like making like a little hatch like you remember those um you know like old school size cape, dude. Yeah, that's a a small fish. Yeah. Oh, for the love of mommy. You got to get that last part out. That sack that that it's all holding in. And that that hole is just what's left over after you I heard that they don't actually know what causes cysts. Oh, how comforting. Yeah, they don't know anything. Oh, you're just growing a golf ball size bag of pus on your heads from. No, we don't know. And people grow them in weird spots, too. They don't even know why. Yeah, you grow weird spots like on the top of your head and Yeah, it's just cells, right? Like they over grow

24:55and they're not cancerous. Hopefully, let's go. A member membran membranous membranous membranous membranous in the body. A membranous sack or cav cavity of abnormal character containing fluid. A tough protective capsule enclosing the larvae of a parasitic worm. No. H. So yeah, I guess it's a a cavity containing fluid. And they use the word fluid super loosely. Yeah. You know, it's not like a snapple. Yeah. It's puss. God. It's not fluid. It's like a whipped cream like nastiness. Mhm. My god. Yeah. Mhm. That's uh not good. N on your vagina, too. That's I imagine this ladies I I still remember it. It was where where on her badge on the outer part so everybody could see or inside? It was inside but then they they they had her in some way where they could push back and you could see it coming out of the side, you know, coming like on the wall in a wall. On a

25:59wall like a speculum like they opened her up. Wow. Oh, it's gnarly. I wonder if it really had fluid, though. I do remember that. It wasn't like this, right? It really was like a stream coming out. I hate I hate to be disrespectful, but do you think it made her tighter? I think so. Seems like it would. It's a really good question. I don't see how it could not. It must. I mean, if you had it in your mouth, it'd be sure tough to swallow, right? So, imagine if you got it in your box. It would I think that's how they said snug it up. They discovered it because her husband was like, "It's just diaper tight." He's like, "Oh, baby. Get up. Get on up. You're 85. just got tight." Do you guys remember when James Brown went on that shooting spree because someone used his toilet? Someone took a in his personal bathroom? No. You don't remember this? He got in a shootout with

26:50the cops. He uh he drove off with a shotgun. He threatened someone with a gun in the office for in his toilet. And then he he got in a car, a high-speed chase of the cops. Cops shot his tire out when he kept driving. Really? His mug shot. His mug shot. I remember that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what it was. His last mug shot. How many times have you been arrested? I think he got arrested a few times. His last one where he's like and Mike Do you remember Mike? Mike Eps has the joke. You remember that? The year after the year that that happened, Mike Eps put out a special. He was like James Bond looked like a Thundercat. A thunderat. That's the best description of that. cuz he did. He had like this straight and he had that ridiculous smile in that. I remember. Do you remember the James Brown super coked out interview he did? Yes. I was just thinking about that

27:41one. What was that interview on? It was on CNN long. This looks like it after shooting at police on PCP. It says PC. Oh, don't you miss Oh, yes. I do remember this. He had the crazy glasses on. Give us some volume, Jamie. His jaw is going crazy. You're like, I miss PCP. Yeah, he was just saying living in America. There's nothing wrong. Nothing wrong at all. You're not in any difficulty, but you're out on bond. No, I'm not. Have all the charges been dropped? Yeah, I'm out on love. I'm out on love. Are you out on love or out of love? Which is it? Out on love. Alone from night to night you find me. Now, Chance, this isn't the first time you and your wife have had a problem. Are the two of you going to be able to work this out? Let's talk about some music. You want to talk about music and you don't want to talk about what happened? No, it's all over. Well, let's talk about your tour. When

28:36are you leaving? We're leaving tomorrow. And where are you going? Rio Rio di Janeiro and S Paulo Brazil. Now, your your fans will have heard all about this, James. Aren't you concerned about that? Kamucci. No, I'm I'm I'm concerned because there's nothing wrong. And what are you doing when they ask you some questions about grinding? Papa's got a brand new bag. It's a man's world. Oh my god. The second time we've heard that in two days. That's crazy. Now, don't leave us, James. You stay right there. We have to talk about Well, tell us a little bit about You got If you listen to this, you have to see this. It's crazy. What are you going to be doing on this tour? I'm going to be doing Papa's got a brand new bag living in America's sex machine. Get up off of that thing. I feel good. You know what this is like? Do you ever hear those when the radio shows would

29:32call someone up and they would use He's got Sorry. Go proceedings. Oh, yeah. You're now He tells her that he smells good and he makes love good. You want to mingle? Yeah. Now, the women love you when you get out there. Why do you think that is? What' you say? The women love you when you get out there. Why is that, ladies? Well, I'm asking you. Huh? Cuz I love you think that is. You look good. I smell good. I feel good. And you sing good and make love good. Oh. Oh. Well, there we are. We don't have to ask anybody else. We got that from the source. Now, you're involved in publishing a gospel magazine. Tell us a little bit about Gospel magazine. Homecoming. It's uh it's crazy. Out of Augusta, Georgia's ankle. Joseph P. Young is the editor and James Brown, one of the adviserss and we're doing a fantastic job. The second coming it features u on this week I

30:29think we have the pope and um I believe the the William lit dude he looks like Michael Jackson when he turned into a werewolf in Thriller. Yeah, he did. Look at his eyes. You nailed it. Look at those glasses. That's totally it, Brian. That's what he looks like. Yep. Yeah. Yep. Did you ever see that um that short movie like that short film I made a few years ago about him? No, you made a film about James Brown. I made a film with Ryan Sichler, a comedian about a real story about him that uh it's called 9 in and uh it's on my YouTube page and what it's about is that there's a real story about two guys who shot each other in an argument over James Brown's height. What? Yeah. So, we made a short about it. This is all about James Brown. How did I not know about this? I don't know. But it it happened in Alabama and Oh, here it is. Yeah. Yeah. He he just pulled it up. But

31:31but it's based on a real story. Two guys got in an argument about how tall he is. And basically, one guy was like, you know, James Brown's 5'5 or whatever. And that dude's like, he's six feet, And they got he got they got so heated they shot each other. over his height. So that's why it's called five in or it's called 90 because of the discrepancy in That's hilarious. Yeah. Yeah. But it's a real story that that these guys were friends like good friends. People get mad about nothing. Oh yeah. Yeah. People get mad about that doesn't make any sense. W up killing each other cuz nobody wants to back down. Then it escalates. You got to be right. Yeah. Yeah. I'm more concerned about PCP. Where did it go? Cuz remember there was a lot of cool stuff in the 80s that happened because of angel dust and wasn't that like people lifted cars and and then it just went away. But

32:24where where's the PCP? My old boxing coach had his finger bitten off when he was on PCP. Really? See where's that cool All the fun stuff. He had his finger bitten off on PCP and he had it replaced with his toe. He had his uh his not his big toe but his next to biggest toe put in Christ on his right hand. Are you being No, I'm 100% serious. Joe Lake, love that guy to death. He's my boxing coach when I was a kid. Um, he had his finger uh permanently bent so he could throw right hooks. He was a southpaw and a very good right hook. He didn't want to give it up. So, uh, when you would shake his hand, shake it like that. He He has like a little little hook. Oh, like a baby finger. Yeah. It's like constantly turning. That was a toe. That was a toe. It's a toe, but now it's his index finger. And he had his toe. Yeah. to tuck it off. So, one Yeah, his foot Yeah, his foot only has four toes.

33:16Has a toe, a big toe, and then three hanglers, which I guess you don't need. Somebody bit it off in a fight. Yeah. Oh, that reminds me. See, that reminds me. It's so much fun that I was with Diaz for 3 days. Yes. And we're Why does that remind you of that? I'll tell you why. Because this is so perfect. So, I'm with Diaz. We're leaving the Shoreline Amphitheater. We did the oddball tour. So, we're leaving the Shore amphitheater. He just he massacred. He you know it was like close to 10,000 people. We get in the shuttle cuz there's intermission and Joey and I were before intermission. So, we tell the driver we want to go back to hotel. There's still another half of show to go. So, it's just Joey, myself, and the driver. And we get in the car. There's no music on. We're just talking. And it we just hit one of those moments. You know when you're on a highway at night

34:09and you kind of hit that thing where it's like you just everyone stops talking for a minute and you're looking out the window and you can feel like and you're just kind of staring off. No one's talking and then after like 15 seconds of silence, Joey goes, that would tell you about the time I saw a guy cut open at the Tenderloin in 1979. His stomach split wide open and I was like, "What?" And I just see the driver's eyes like widen and I was like, "No." Oh, he goes, "Yeah, his blood was brown cuz he had been bleeding for so long. People just stepped over him and I saw two guys stab each other in the street uh 1980 just over nothing. They just stab each other. I didn't I almost my pants, but then I got used to it." And then you just see the drivers like just so crazy. I got used to it. Just look over like who's this guy sitting next to me? just all you saw from like

35:04uh he was he's such a like a rocket ship of a personality that you get used to like all the people on this tour cuz I did all the dates and then they you should see like the first night he came out I'd see the like the oddball staff like turning like what the is going on cuz his he's just so out of left field you know he can't prepare for it and he's just like he's got not a in his tank zero there's thing. He just calls people Like the audience, the comedies are like, "What's up, cocksuckers?" They're like, "Who the fuck?" He did it to 8,000 people last night. It's so great. What's up, you Yeah, it's endearing once you see him live. Yeah. He even he has like some reference to it. Like he knew he cuz he he would throw people off, right? You could tell that some people they be like, "Oh my god." And he goes, "Yeah, I say some up shit." And then and then he goes, "But I'm your

36:00uncle Joey." You know, everyone's got Uncle Joey like me. It's a little uncomfortable at first, like a finger in your ass. And then they just like laughing again right away. He gets how he hits people, you know. Yeah. He's something odd. There's no I've never been anybody like him before. He's a force of nature. It's like a a rare occurrence. Really owns his farts in public, by the way. Really, his fart game is strong. He dropped. He was just like, he I got to tell you something else. Like at a at a bar and like I was like so loud and it smelled so sour. Really? And he goes, "Wait till it hits that right there." He points at the guy. Yeah. I mean, he's crazy, man. It's so crazy. He's married. He he farted once on a plane that was so bad that I I had headphones on and I smelled that I was in the middle of writing and I smelled it and I just go and and I and I start

36:52to make this face and then I go and I put my shirt over my nose and then it hits the woman behind us and with the headphones on listening to music I hear, "Oh my god." So I'm hearing Oh my god. And he's like he's got his hands rested on his Yeah. He's amazing. He takes credit for it, too. Definitely. Yeah. Cuz I do it on planes, but I keep it private. I don't take credit. And no one assumes I would. So, I like the Plus the sound. It's so much on the plane that you can fart. You can just let it rip. No one's going to hear it. Yeah. It's good quality. He also says things that don't add up for that. Like he like he I'm like, "Come on." He goes, "You know me, dog." Like I'm like, "All right." It's like my favorite thing about his Periscopes. His Periscopes he'll smoke, you know? He smoke crazy amounts of weed. He's like, "It's 6:00 in the morning. I've already

37:56like rolled two joints, smoked them. are you doing with your life?" And I'm like, "Hold on." I go, "You're implying that that's the accomplishment." Like I'm doing something. What are you doing? He's always up. He said I got high. When I have to do early in the morning, I always call him cuz he's always awake. He's always awake. Yeah. Yeah. He's uh he's a maniac. He told me that 4:30 some like sometimes he's like, you know, it just hits me like a thought. I just get up. I'm like, 4:30. He wants to get up sometimes. Yeah. He just Is he not a sleeper? Not really. It's It's crazy, right? You'd think that he would just be passed out, but no. Some people don't need to sleep. If I get up to pee and it's like four o'clock in the morning. The problem is sometimes I'll have an idea. Yeah. And if I have an idea, I've I've gone back to sleep. I'm like, I'll remember it. And I never

38:42remember it. So now if I have any kind of an idea or I think like it it might be an idea, I have to sit down and then I have to write something out or talk into my phone. I'll talk to my phone a little bit just to try to capture it. You got to write it down. That's key. If I don't, I'm Cuz if I don't, I'm not getting any sleep. Cuz then I'll be sitting there thinking like, "God, I should have just got up." It's always that thing where you go, it could be like when you're about to fall asleep or about to wake up and you go, "Ah, I got that though. That'll that'll come to me." You know, when I find like I I had to do this thing for ESPN today, so I had to get up early and I had to drive on the highway in traffic and all that But when I was I got up early, you know, woke up, had a cup of coffee, I'm out the door in the hustle and bustle. And there's something about like getting

39:25up early like forcing yourself to get up and then having like a cup of coffee and going out and do something. It gives you like a you got like a little momentum going, you know? I'm like I'm up early. I'm I'm like there's something to getting up early. And I and I used to really resent people that would brag about it like well I've been up since, you know, 5:30. Well d wad. Good for you. It's a little self congratulatory. Thank you. I agree. I agree. Like look at look how how disciplined I am. off. I go to bed late. We're early. We're up early. But now the kids up at, you know, the crack of dawn, so we got to be up, too. And now I'm used to it. Now I'm one of those people. You adjust sending emails at 6:00 a.m. to I do like it more. I actually do like it more. I I It doesn't make any sense, but I feel like when I force myself to wake up in the morning,

40:10I get a a better feeling about the day. Like it's like I'm I'm starting off in a good way. Like, all right, we're up. Let's just go. You know, I can't just yawn. What do I got here? 11. Uh-uh. We just jerk off. Yeah. Wake up at 12:30. I can be at the gym by 3:00. That'll be fine. One thing I don't like though, I don't like morning workouts. No, I like afternoon workouts. Yeah. I like workout first thing. You do? Yep. Yeah. I like to do something with no food. I like to do uh one workout in the morning, like something chin-ups, body weight squats, something like that. Yeah. And sometimes I hit the bag, no food. That's I like to do that several times a week, but I always feel stronger and I have more energy if I work out late in the afternoon. I like the late afternoon. Yeah. Now, do you overeat though after you work out on an empty stomach afterwards? No. No. No. Um, no.

41:08I mean, I'm going to be hungry, but I'm always hungry after I work out. That's I don't eat like much more. I see what you eat on Instagram. I put my food on Instagram. Lots of meat. One of those annoying I have a lot of meat. You guys want some meat? I got some milk. Yeah. Okay. I'll give you some elk. Show you how how to cook it. Yeah. Yeah. It's super good for you. Yeah. It's yummy. Cuz you do a lot of uh veggies and meat. I noticed no carbs. I very little carbs. I eat a lot of uh avocados. That's good. You get a lot of coconut, a lot of fat. That's what I'm doing. That's what he's doing right now. You doing that? Yeah. High fat, low carb. Yeah. You know what you need to get a hold of, dude? You got to get a hold of some uh ketones. Do we have them here? Hold on. Oh Okay. Yeah, somebody. Yeah, if you're on a ketogenic diet. Yeah, just try a few of these and tell me what you think. What

41:54is this? It's called ketogenics. This is the stuff that I use. But um this is made by this guy Domino, who's a he's a research scientist um from some uh university in Florida, by the way. He's in Florida. Hey, look at that. And he's u one of the foremost specialists on uh ketogenic diets and the benefits of ketogenic diets. I've been reading a lot about it. He's super scientific though. And the best resource if you want to listen to this is the Tim Ferrris show. Tim Ferrris's podcast. Yeah. Three different podcasts with Dom D. Austinino. And the first one was one of the things that got me super excited about trying to uh go on a fat-based diet. Yeah. Just listen to all the benefits this guy was talking about. Like all the like there's a whole series of benefits that and intermittent fasting like getting your body into a state where it's just burning fat. Yeah.

42:47The the big one though, the real big one though is the hunger thing. There's two big ones. Like one, I know I have energy all throughout the day. I know people right now are listening to this going, "Oh my god, he's talking about a ketogenic diet again. Jesus Christ." Cuz I talk about it too much. Really? But just for just for you guys. Yeah. Um you you don't have as much hunger like in between meals. You don't have that feeling. I'm a month into it and really Yeah. I'm I'm down almost 18 pounds. Um that's incredible. I uh I basically have have felt that way where I I'm not just like feeling that satisfaction more. I'm also eating overall less food. You know what I mean? Like I'm I used to eat just more a higher volume of food, right? You know, like every meal was much bigger than it was cuz that fat satisfies you. Yeah. Much quicker, you know? Well, it

43:35definitely satisfies you longer, too. Yeah. And it it's like the the craving for carbs like uh I got off of it when I went on this trip. Uh I went on a trip uh and I was um with uh these guys uh camping for 6 days and there just wasn't there's no way I mean there was just so much food that wasn't ketogenic and that's all we had was that food. Sure. So I I got off it and the first thing I noticed is like how hungry I would get in between meals. The sugar spikes. Yeah. Like you get like god damn it, I got to eat. And I realized like, wow, I don't get that when I'm on the fat-based diet. And as soon as I got on the fat-based diet again, it went away. My sec, you know what our my second day of cutting the sugar and stuff was when we did that live podcast and I was snapping at everybody. Oh, yeah. You were so grumpy. Oh, did you get like heroin like withdrawals? Dude, I didn't I mean I

44:26didn't realize how much sugar I was consuming regularly. Yeah. But the the first 48 to 72 hours was I was about to be on the first 48. Like I was I was really snapping at people, man. Really? Yeah, man. I It was It just I couldn't control it. I also had a really hard time focusing, you know, for those first couple days. Yeah. They they call it the keto flu. Really? Yeah. You feel like you have the flu. I had a buddy of mine, uh my friend Brendan tried it, not Brendan Chob, another Brendan. Um and um when he tried it, he's like he sent me a text message. He's like, "Do you feel shitty? Like uh do you feel like tired when you're when you're first doing this? Like some people it hits them like really bad. I was just really irritable. Yeah. Really irritable. You were jonesing. Yeah. I wanted it bad, man. Bad. Yeah. So bad. Tell me. And you forget all the all the thing that all

45:17the stuff that has sugar in it. That's the Everything does. And actually the the cool other cool part about it besides the health benefits. I mean, you know, from what I've read, a lot of people's all their cholesterol goes down, all that stuff goes down. It's a good exercise in discipline and in being focused and mindful in something. That's the the cool part. If you're not like I'm not a super disciplined person about a lot of things, you know, I'm disciplined about work. Um but like I I don't find myself to be super disciplined and all a sudden you're going all right, I have to look at what's in this and then you're starting to catch things. It makes you more focused overall because you're focused on trying to do this one like I want to eliminate sugar which is yeah secretly in everything, you know. Well, I think a lot of addictions they they they're all

46:06it's a it's almost the same thing. It's the same pattern. And that pattern is you're just doing something you can't even believe you're doing it while you're doing it. I'm betting all on black. like whether it's gambling or whether it's sex or whether it's drugs or whether it's uh I mean people are addicted to a bunch of different weird and food is a big one man it's a big one man it's kind of the same thing they're just caught up in it and then after you're done you're like what the did I do what did I do yeah when before I had a baby I had so much free time and I didn't realize how much of that time I just spent eating like really just snacking on that I did not. And now I don't have the time to, you know, you lose the baby weight gradually. It wasn't an effort cuz it's I don't have time, right? I used to graze out of boredom or depression or on the road or whatever

46:58and then you know, you don't need to eat half the I didn't need to eat half the I was eating. It's it's simple mouth pleasure. And that's where you got to look at it. It's it's there's two different things going on at the same time. One, there's a simple mouth pleasure that like when you eat lasagna or something like that, like God, so funny you brought that up. I couldn't even do it last week. It was too many carbs. I felt like it was so heavy. I know. I miss pasta. It's so good. You know what I what I broke on for a day and I just had a little bit. I love like uh a really like like the properly made way rice like a like a rice that's made, you know, not like quick rice, but like boiled and Yeah. And someone makes rice. Perfect. Yeah, our Guatemalan nanny did it. Yeah, I had to I was like, I got to have I had a cheese steak in Philly on Saturday night. Get your life. How was

47:48that? It was awesome. Yeah. Where'd you go? Are you going to give him a plug? Um I think it was Jim. Jim Jim's steak. Yeah, it's good. Me and Tony found like the place that had the most authentic reviews. Yeah, that's uh from my Instagram of them cooking it in front of you. Look at that. Come on, son. They put cheese whiz on it, which in retrospect was a mistake. Really? Should have gone with provolone. I go provolone. Yeah. And the guy was like, "Uh, do you want to try whiz?" I go, "What is that?" He goes, "Cheese whiz." I go, "Really?" He goes, "That's how we That's how we do." That's how original G moves. Yeah. I always thought that was disgusting. I like processed cheese. I'm real white trash though. I like all that stuff. Shaky cheese. It just doesn't taste as good. Privolone tastes better. Way better. Thank you. Chopped onions. You do onions. Oh yeah. Peppers. For

48:34sure. What kind of peanut butter you like? Gif over Skippy or I like that no sugar peanut butter that you have to stick the knife in and make a mess on your counter top cuz you got to stir the oil. Justin, you got to do it yourself. I like that stuff. If you had to go If you had to go Skippy or GIF, this is kind of a battle for us. Who would you go with? Um, be honest. Okay, Skippy. Yes. You've never been a friend. I think I go with Skippy. Is a little more peanut. Yeah. See, Jify is like a little bit more sugary, but GIF is more peanuty. Mhm. Maybe. Maybe I got those reversed. But Skippy does taste more processed, but I like the the taste. Yeah, it does taste more pro, right? Am I right? Yes. Yes. Chip is more piece. Yes, that's right. So, now you're correcting yourself. I got it. So, you're team Jeff. Um, I think I still would go skip. Yeah, because it's like

49:26candy. I'm eating candy. I know. I know. I'm not really eating peanut butter or I am eating peanut butter, but it's like peanut butter cups. Those are the best cups. I know. God damn. Yeah. And for like 20 years, we never knew basically that that's not really what peanut butter tastes like, you know? Yeah. You're just like having it and you're like, "This is candy." Like peanut butter is candy. It's like, "No, it's not. It's You get it as a kid in your lunch and it was just sugar layer and then a sugar layer of jelly." Yeah. Well, when I was a kid, my parents made me eat Yeah. My parents made me My parents were hippies when I was a kid and they made me eat healthy and so Yeah. Yeah. My stepdad was a total hippie. Like he had hair down to his ass. A And my mom was a hippie, too. We lived in San Francisco, the whole deal. And we ate wheat bread with that

50:13nasty peanut butter that you had to stir with a knife. Really? And when you're a little kid, you're so bummed out cuz everybody else has white bread and they have where the the jelly goes into the bread and like it turns like it's like you ever see like a nice smoked meat where it gets that layer on the outside of darkness and it's like a ring like a smoke wing like a a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on like Wonderbread. The jelly starts to leak into the bread and you see like shitty a fine crust. Yeah. But those they would melt in your mouth. You would eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on GIF with a dessert with on for lunch. Yeah. With Wonderbread rather than uh with a glass of milk. Yeah. So good. Yeah. Well, she had like cold war lunches from her. Tell them what you had for lunch. So my So my parents Yeah. My parents split. I lived with my dad for a

51:04few years and like he would make me lunch. It was a cut piece of bread off of like a loaf, some Eastern European rye with no seed and then butter and then salami on butter, which is just grease on grease. Like my stomach would hurt. For a kid to go to lunch be like just have have these cold like this this fatty meat with butter. Yeah. It's so jelly and butter. He just he just says you should eat the way he eats. Yes. And he's like he looks great. He looks great. He has kbas like you know basically super fatty sausage and then like he's like eggs, onions, beer. Where does he get his uh bread? These loaves of bread. Well, there's a place here in Woodland Hills. It's called German cold cuts. It's on Tanga Canyon. I grew up going there. It's a tiny little German place and it's rye with no seeds. Then there's another one in Burbank. It's another German/Hungarian. They got all the

52:04treats. And my dad is he like we have cockroach DNA like we're eastern blockers. My I have relatives who one guy drives a cab 80 years old never exercised drinks a liter of vodka every day smokes like it's just our family. I do think it is cuz she never gets sick. So never I'll get like a flu and I think I go to the hospital and she's like like sniffs for a couple days. She's like I beat it. Your people survive plates. Yeah. Strong like bull. Yeah. Those resilient. Think about like like Eastern black people. Yeah. Yeah. Some of the heartiest people. Well, if you think like hearty white folks, just the most tender, the sweetest, and the most kind, and affectionate people. But that's the thing I don't like though is that my parents are just so cold. Like my stepmom used to get offended when waiters would come to the table at a restaurant and be like, "What's up,

52:56folks?" Like, "What these folks? you folks." It's like they're they think that it's weakness to be friendly. If you're like, "Hi, how are you?" They just think you're dumb. Yeah. Wow. They went through too many wars. Yes. Their people went through too much chaos. Too much too much trauma. Got to be hard. Cold stairs, you know. Yeah. My step my exepmom. He didn't like her. Let me ask you this. Do you think that's why do you think Russians admire Putin because But do you think they admire him because uh they're scared or do you think they admire him because they they actually admire that hard ass that's a cultural It's a cultural thing. He'd be seen as a if he were to be, you know, like our Obama. Hey, how like that stuff is considered like what are you But a bunch are scared too. You think so? Oh yeah. Come on. Well, he he like jacks I don't know. He

53:51jacks these guys that are billionaires. Like he takes over their companies and puts them in jail. There's good reason to be scared. I mean, it's not But I feel like that they've been scared for so many leaders. I mean, look, they've been through communism and Oh, did you guys see? I got to remember this. Did you guys see the assassination attempt on him recently? No. No. No. Oh my god, it's crazy. Onin. Somebody did a suicide assassination attempt on Putin. And the way they did it is they were driving on the opposite side of the highway and they drove headon into his car. Wow. Like this. He's on one side, they're on the other side and they had a median. And this guy drives in the center of the median like before Putin's car comes. And when he sees Putin's car, he turns right into it. So he knew it was that car. And Putin wasn't in the car, but his driver was. His driver was and his

54:38driver was killed. Oh, wow. Yeah. It's crazy. And is there a video of this or there's a couple videos from a couple different angles? It's crazy. Those dashboard cameras they have over there. No, no, no. This is like a street camera. So, you can see the cars. You can see the cars and you see them slam into each other. I mean, they're going like 80 mph both sides. And is uh uh Putin's vehicle But is is is his vehicle like led and trailed by escort, you know, by security or no? That's a good question. I don't know. Um because Putin wasn't in the car. Oh, right. Yeah, maybe they thought he was in the car. Maybe maybe they had a heads up and they knew something was going on. I mean, who the knows? I don't know. Maybe they put him in a bunch of different, you know, had a bunch of different cars. But you could see here. Here, roll it back. And here, watch this. Boom. That guy did that on

55:23purpose. Roll it back again, Jamie. Why does that thing keep shutting off? Something wrong with the connector? Yeah. Boom. See that? Oh my god. Yeah, it's crazy. So, there's a couple different uh angles of it, but the guy like literally just drove right into the other lane. Knew for sure that was a I mean, obviously to target that. Wow. Knew for sure to target it and knew for sure he was going to die. Watch this. Boom. Wow. Yeah, they're both dead. I'm pretty sure. Wow. I mean, the also just the precision of knowing Jesus Christ. Yeah, the timing on that. You got to really get your timing right. How did they know? I mean, there must have been other people involved. What am I? CSI. Wow. Scary. Yeah, it's up. He's a He's a fascinating figure. It's that when those people exist in this day and age, like Kim Jong-un. Yeah. Like when that guy exists in 2016, it makes you really stop

56:25and think like, wow, he's a dictator of a whole country. They're all terrified of him. Did you see when uh North Korea accidentally let all of its uh websites become available for a brief moment of time? They have 28 websites. There's only 28 websites in the internet in North Korea. Yeah. So the people that live in North Korea, they think that's the internet. Wow. It's got to be They're all staterun websites, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There there's a list of them, but they made a list of the websites that are they like uh King Jamun is handsome.com, King is super fast.com. I thought you meant that it became free for a minute and I was like, "Oh, I wonder how much porn was downloaded like immediately within 20." Could you imagine? Yeah, it would be insane. I think it was they just up and let the rest of the world look at it. Wow. Wow. They I saw that documentary where find it like

57:19this big thing is that these South Koreans will put films on flash drives. Films. Yeah. Movies on flash drives. Okay. And then sneak flash drives. Oh. Over in North Korea. And so that they can see like other, you know, other countries like landscapes, movies, like just Wow. And it just blows their minds. Oh yeah. My bad. I want to see what the websites were. Did you find what the websites were? This This wasn't a great list on here. I was going to search websites to find a better one. Yeah, they um they have 28 websites, man. Wow. That's bananas. It is all Kim. There was there was a cooking one that showed off and then Korean films. Wow. It's really strange. Kim Jong- owns super long dick.com. Rudimentary. Wow. Wow. Rudimentary web design skills that are a hallmark of North Korea's online presence. Yeah. In fact, many of the websites appeared to have stopped

58:19functioning at all by Wednesday morning. Wow. What an insane world. It really is. It's so sad when you think about that. That's someone's whole existence to live there. Well, did you see when Kim Jong- died how crazy that was? Yeah. They they would go to jail. You would be sentenced to jail if you didn't cry enough. Yeah. Mhm. for months. Yeah. If they felt like you weren't crying enough, they would throw you in jail. So, it was See if you can find the the the mourning. It's insane. People were falling down the streets. What is so um amazing about North Korea is how they contain it like that cuz my father grew up in communism in Hungary, but they could still hear like the Beatles and you know? They still had access way in here. Wow. Look at this. This is so crazy watching all these people lined up crying and and they have to cry for like long periods of time. Like if you stop crying too

59:13early, they'll put you in jail. People were arrested at these uh events for not crying enough. God damn it, man. Yeah, it's so Now that guy's going to get arrested on the end there for crying. I didn't see him crying flag. No. Yeah, dude. Guy's blowing his nose on the flag. Yeah, that's show a little emotion. Come on, guys. There you go. That's a good one. That's an exemplary guy. That's like a Pentecostal guy. He's in tongues. Oh my god. Yeah. Wow. Wow. You know, North Korea has allegedly, this might all be US propaganda. No, they uh allegedly have these prison camps where people are born prisoners. They're born into it. And this one guy got free and gave all this testimony, explained like what it was like in those camps. And they he turned his own mother in for something that she had done. And they showed like how um different jobs are given to different people depending on

60:08what level of decrepitness there. Is that a word? Sure. Decrepitude. Decrepit. Yeah. Decrepit. Decrepidness. Sure. I'm going to let you take the lead on that one. Uh upness. That's a word. How much you've, you know, decayed. Yeah. I mean, they're like not, you know, starving people out and then they would feed them to dogs. Oh my god. Yeah. And this guy was like showing the levels like he drew pictures of like what people looked like when they would do certain jobs and once you couldn't do physical labor anymore, they would just feed you to animals. It's really not. They also do this thing where like if you up or let's say you escape you were a North Korean citizen, you escape, they would go round up your family and put them in jail. And they have a a two generation policy there so that your kids and their kids will live in the labor camps. Jesus Christ. Well,

61:06during communism, my dad said that they would encourage the children at school to rat out their parents. If they heard if if you hear your parents say anything against the government, you're supposed to rat your parents out. And that kids would end up doing that. Sure. And then they come to your door and take you away. I feel like I think that thing is called like Escape from Camp 19 or Escape from Camp 14 that documentary. Didn't we see that? And then that guy got free and then he was still living as though he was in North Korea. Well, he preferred um sleeping on the floor cuz he slept on the floor for like 25 years. Sad, you know, and he couldn't adapt. He just couldn't adapt. Escape from camp. Jesus. Now, something came out about him later that he had made up some things. M not that his whole story was made up, but that he fabricated something. I would imagine that if you lived in a

61:55prison camp your whole life, you have some serious mental illness. Oh yeah. The idea that we could think that this guy's going to be sane, that we hold him up to some sort of standard. Well, you can't even buy what he said. Don't you know he lied? He's such a liar. Right. Right. Such a liar. I think he said, you know what he said his biggest fantasy was in that meat. Eating meat. Whoa. Like that's what he would dream about going to get a steak. Oh my god. Yeah, man. 2016, they're still doing that to people right now. So crazy, dude. Yeah. Well, you know, I had George Perez on, you know, George Perez comic. Yeah. George did some time in jail. He did? Yeah. Like a long time ago. Yeah. A few years back, early 2000s, for a fight at a basketball game. Wow. Some street basketball game. Beat some dude up. And then uh years later, he was on MTV and the dude saw him on TV. I heard about

62:45that. What? Yeah. And that's how he got arrested. Yeah, that's how he got arrested. And then he did he did prison time? Yeah, he did three years. Holy He's hilarious, by the way. And his stories are hilarious. He's just a funny funny dude. But um when he was talking about prison, it got me thinking like he was talking about how much people make. And he was talking like 38 cents an hour or something like that. Like isn't that one one of the things that he said? Something ridiculously low. And then and then I'm like, okay, how is that not slavery? Like how are you like you not only is you are you putting someone in jail where they can't go anywhere. Yeah. But you are forcing them to work at this insanely low rate that no one would ever work for. That's true. Like when you look at the definition of slavery if you say, "Well, slavery ended in 1865." How is slavery done in 1865 when you have

63:36men literally in chain gangs breaking? Well, we wrote it down on paper. So, you know, well, this guy robbed a purse, you know, like or whatever reason you put those people in. I mean, either kill them or, you know, like you can't you can't like force someone to break rocks, right? You can't force them to work for 13 cents an hour or whatever. Do they do that still in places? Some places there was I think that the la one of the last places that still or I don't know if they still do was in Louisiana. What's that Louisiana prison that's really famous? They had chain gangs. Is that the one where they they made the inmates wear pink and stuff? No, that's in in Arizona. That's Joe Arpaio, right? Yeah, that guy's crazy. Sheriff Joe. Yeah, that's where Mike Tyson had to go. He went there. Mike Tyson had to wear pink. Yeah, he caught with the cocaine. Was it coke?

64:27Yeah, he wore pink. Yeah, he wore pink. He only had to do a couple of days, but it was, you know, one of those prove a point type things. Wow. You know that even Mike Tyson has to wear the pink. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Now, this is stupid, but their commissary is cheaper, right? Like maybe it's all adjusted for prison inflation. I don't think it works like that. America's only female what? Chain gang. The women who pull weeds and bury unclaimed bodies in air. What? Bury unclaimed bodies. Oh How often does that come up? That's number two. Pull weeds. Number one. Bury unclaimed bodies. Number two. Number three. Pick up cans. Wow. It sucks so bad. in the Arizona desert to avoid 23 hours of lockdown in country's toughest jail. Wow. They're all chained up, man. Damn. I just You got to wonder like at what at what point is it slavery? I wonder which one of these girls would be my prison

65:21girlfriend. Look at that. They're burning body. They're burning an unclaimed body. So, this is her with the glasses. I'd hook up with that that chicks normally. Oh, yeah. This is probably like people that are border crossing and then wind up, you know, right? Dehydrating and dying out there. That's got to be so brutal. Oh my god. Through Arizona in the summer. You ever go to Phoenix in the summer? Yeah. And you're like, "Okay." 140°. 140. Wow. It's like the Middle East, dude. 140° and they're working outside hacking weeds. Holy Get your life. Do you think you can get sunblock? Can you request that, you think, in jail? Mhm. Like at that for some people like if you were an Irish guy with red hair. I mean I'm really I I'll burn. I would excuse me. They would catch you talking Spanish though and they go that guy. He knows how to get tan. He just there's a blonde chick cuz you speak

66:14fluent Spanish. I've seen people talk in Spanish around Tommy. I know. And then Tommy will say something in Spanish to them and they'll go, "Oh, the white guy knows Spanish." The best. I'm doing a Spanish talk show on Monday. No. Yeah. I'm doing noises on Monday. see that when he starts doing it in like real Spanish bash like oh this is a legit Spanish it's scary a little right it's a little alarming you're like it's a the host is a clown you know it's like a guy in full clown makeup are you going to go on as your rapper I don't know I thought about it I thought about it I don't know what is the rapper's name again DJ Dadmouth and if you haven't seen it folks DJ Dadmouth is how Tom gets everybody there's one thing that everybody hates everybody hate not everybody but most comics do not like doing morning TV shows they're probably the most watered down. It's like

66:58pretending that a glass that's one quarter low-fat milk and 3/4 water that it tastes good. That's a good way of putting it. It's really good. Yeah, I know. It's like you can drink it. It's not going to give you any pain, but it's not good. You're not enjoying it. It's the worst. I don't know. It's a hard gig to have, I imagine. There you are. That'll be Monday. No. What does that mean, Tommy? Nights with Nights of the plantains. No. Well, that's his his name. Platanito is like little banana. So, nights with little banana. Man, I wanted you to go on Sabado Domingo. That show you No, no. Saboante. That's my jam. What's Sab Sabo? Giant Saturday. Yeah. It's been on for like 30 years or something. And it's the show, the Latin show. And we were in Florida once in Miami in a hotel room. He was sick and we were watching just hours of it cuz it'll have everything. I think it ended.

67:50I think it paternity test. That's him. That's him. That guy's been the It's comedy sketches. They have paternity testing. They have just every Yeah. See, They've got everything on this. Did you I think you just shamed. How dare you? You just shaming. A Isn't that funny that that's a real expression now? And fat shaming and slight shaming. Now sion. Yeah. Sigh. And pronoun shaming. What's your pronoun, Joe? I prefer Z. I like Z H and two E's. That's my pronoun. I like that. You saw I'm sure you saw the His Majesty thing, right? You saw that. Oh, you haven't seen this? Yes. So, University of Michigan, like a lot of universities, is now doing this uh you know, like you sign up for class, your professor sends out an email to the entire class. I'm Professor Joe Rogan. My preferred pronouns are he, him, and then this one kid was able to because you can voluntarily choose your pronoun. He was

68:56like, "Mine is his majesty." So, love it. Good. What a good kid. Yeah. His the whole thing was to point out the absurdity of it, but then people are like, "You're a asshole." Like, they're all mad at him now. His name is Grant Strobble, chairman of the Young Americans Foundation, used the new policy to update his preferred pronoun to his majesty. How could they be mad at him? That is that is no more ridiculous than h iir. Of course, there's like 18 different gender pronouns now that have been identified. And we also know there's astral gendered if you're feeling like you're part of the cosmos. Aren't you poly? I'm poly and by. Yeah. You put it on your your he put it on his podcast or his uh Twitter page. Yeah. And like uh it was like buy awareness day and then and then some some guy a real professor was tweeting and and he retweeted it one like something that was

69:49so close to parody. What the did he say? He was just like it it was the wording of it was too absurd to even recall. But it was like remember when you're the today on on on by awareness day your gender and your to be by is not to be gender specific but your specificity of your gender can also dictate what your sexuality might be like what like something like that something I don't know confusing yeah and then it was like happy by awareness you know I finally used an allgender restroom in Portland and it was at a gay bar and I got like I didn't enjoy it and it's not cuz of the whole pronoun thing. It's cuz you've got like dudes taking gnarly shits next to you and I don't need it. I don't need it. Yeah, I don't need it. Zims or z I'm poly by and I'm also fluid gender. My favorite thing is to be fluid gender because you can go however you're feeling in the moment. But you have but

70:53people have to know what to call you. So, you have to update them on your pronouns constantly. This the uh we we saw this video of this guy who was like he was like, "You know, you should really respect people's pronouns." Which which I I'm like, "Okay." Then he goes, "And if you see somebody and you're not sure, just ask him. Be like, "Hey, what's your pronoun?" To which I say, "No, you don't." Like, you're not going to just see somebody and be like, "Hey, hey, I'm just wondering what's your pronoun." I think the onus should be on the person. Steven Crowder. Steven Crowder has a hilarious video where he actually does this and he go Yeah. He goes out and asks people what their preferred gender pronouns are and they the the looks they give him. Like he goes to like grown adults and and goes up to them on the street and just talks to them and just wonders what

71:38their preferred gender pronoun is. Nobody knows what the you're talking about. It's preposterous. I can't wait for the backlash. Wait, will you Will you What's that video of that guy Dustin? Dakota. Dakota. Yeah, we have to show Joe that one. Dakota is amazing. Did you They sent you the thing. Yeah, Dakota is incredible. You got to see this. This Zimzer Zimzer. Zimzer. Oh, for the the different gender pronouns. Why is it so hard? Why can't you just do what they ask? My pronouns are not preferred. See, and the thing is like I feel like there's enough people going, okay, really that it's kind of a legitimate thing to not be 100% on board with this, you know, cuz I feel a little like, oh, am I on the wrong end of history? Pronouns are not preferred. Ask a gender terrorist. There he is. Hey, it's Dakota and this is the newest video on my Ask a Gender Terrorist uh playlist on my

72:32channel. Um, are we allowed to play this get mad. Yeah, you can't. Oh, you can't just play it. Well, we're not showing it on YouTube, are we? I have it like picture and picture, but I'll take it off. Yeah, take it off. I don't It's this dude's Whatever it is. Yeah, that's He's got a beard. No, no, no. He doesn't have a preferred gender pronoun. Well, that's what you're we're going to get to. So, that's the thing now, right? You can kind of be whatever you want to be. Yeah, which is fine, I guess. I just think it's funny that some people are saying that you should see this individual and lead with like it's almost like it's rude for you to assume which I think is absurd that you're going to that it's rude to assume like if you if you're going to dictate a different pronoun I think that should be on you. It should be on a like a status like you should just show people. Yeah. Or some people

73:27do have these little stickers that they put on my preferred gender pronoun is that's cool. Well, there's a Radio Lab, and this is one of my all-time favorite ones. There's a Radio Lab podcast, and they take it so seriously because it's Radio Lab. And uh there's a guy on it who's clearly out of his mind. And he goes back and forth between male and female. He switches switches while he's talking to you. He goes, "I just switched. I just switched. I'm the man now." And you're like, "Well, okay. When do you get to be a dragon? When do you get to read minds? When do you get to tell the future?" Then we're supposed to respect this. You have to because it's it has to do with gender. So if this guy was telling you about his past lives, you know, as a Roman gladiator or if he was telling you about the future when the starships land, you would think that he's a crazy person. Right. Right. But I

74:18think it right now. But when you talk about gender, as soon as you start talking about gender, you you really you're supposed to like give people the benefit of all doubt. Like even if you think you're switching gender back and forth as you're talking, like the idea that your your gender is like some sort of a seessaw, you're on the precipice and you can just go left or right and left or right and you closeminded You just decide. Yeah. You don't understand, Joe. But here's the thing. Aren't we different a lot of the time? Why can't that difference be expressed in gender? Like you the other day when you were cranky cuz you didn't get your sugar. Yeah. Right. Like what you decide, right? You have a different personality trait. You fell into this sort of thing. Like but doesn't like that that feeling like going that's sexist and I think I need to fire a joint up. Gender phobic. Get nervous.

75:11Well, I'm looking forward I'm looking forward to ignoring so many emails that are going to come into my inbox about this conversation. But me, too. But people get mad. Oh, I know. They're going to get so mad. My point is like we've talked about this like if you're feeling particularly um loveydovey, right? You're you're petting kittens and you're you're putting your daughter's hair in ponytails. You're it's a more feminine feeling. So, did you switch genders at that moment or are you still specifically this guy wanted to go back and forth to being recognized as a man and then recognized in the middle of the conversation and then as he goes back and forth he becomes a totally different person like he has like he's not going to tolerate any I think he was like in the military too. It's like it was like there's a lot of weirdness to the story. He's under the care of a

75:59psychiatrist though, right? No, he's out wandering around getting government grants and great I have no idea. I have no idea what he's doing, but um I just you never go like if someone goes back and forth and pretends to be Hungarian like I'm Hungarian now I'm not no now I'm from Ireland or no but I feel today I'm now I'm Hungarian again right I'm identifying that way but that's fine like here's the thing if you want to identify throughout the day sometimes I am more masculine when I'm at the comedy store performing I am very alpha male I'm very it's macho but do have to demand that people know what to call me at every given moment. That's a little unrealistic. Well, it's a new thing to do. How dare I mean, it's so presumptuous and narcissistic that you should know what to call me all the time. Does this person at least say like right now address me as her and she has

76:53like two different names. He like snaps in and out of them. Depending on who I might be misgendering or not depending on how he he or she hears this at the moment. When you Good point. If you're in a conversation with that person, yeah, you would you like you feel like that's a respect like something that you would be like, "Oh, okay. I'll I'll respect your wishes." I'm not changing your gender. You got to pick one. Yeah. If you say girl, okay, you're a girl. I'm cool with that. I don't have any problem with that. But you can't go back and forth. Yeah. Okay. Or I can't talk to you. It's too much work. That's the point. I think that's the whole thing. It's too much work. And if you're an adult that's got a full life, how the you have room in your head for the Zimzer Z's every second changing? Well, not only that, that's somebody else's issue, right?

77:43What about yourself? Yeah. You know, I I don't have any I don't have any room to communicate with you because you're you're concentrating on yourself so much. You want people to change how they address you. How about just Can you just change how you feel occasionally and not have a new name that pops up? That's right. 3:00 in the afternoon. Now I'm Bob. Right. Why do we have to label it every moment of every Well, it's a super self-indulgent thing. And that's what you're getting out of this. And that's what like the people that are, you know, they're being labeled as insensitive. Like that's kind of the point. The point is like, yeah, you're supposed to be insensitive of nonsense. Yes. This deserves a fair amount of mockery. It really does. A fair amount, but we're afraid to in part because we're going to get shamed on Twitter. People are going to call us phobic of

78:28this and that. Even if you say something remotely, you're gender unpolitically correct or whatever. Yeah. Look, there's a bunch of people out there that are just not happy. And they might not be happy with their gender. They might not be happy with the way they look. They might not be happy with how old they are. They might not be happy with a bunch of different things. But we have like rules as far as like what you can change and what you can't change. And we're allowing people now, this is like a really recent thing, to just decide to change your gender, which doesn't affect me. I I want people to have freedom. I don't doesn't bother me. But what what is this? She uh there's an addendum to the Radio Lab story. She made them edit out the references to her actually changing her identity. I guess she stopped she stopped switching. What? Huh? After all this, no. It says right

79:18here, she no longer flips. She no longer fits trans woman. She now remains comfortable as a queer trans woman. What is What does that mean? What's queer? It's not queer is not gay though. It's not. No. Well, I thought it meant that queer is like weird. Like you can do both, right? Isn't it? What is queer? Then letting this. No, gay is gay. Queer is not gay. Queer is like non-defined. Okay. So, a a non-defined trans non-binary. That's Tom's domain. Tom, can you explain this? Yeah. I mean, basically, break it down for us, please. Well, you guys, you fall on the binary spectrum. We're cisgendered privileged. Yeah. Okay, here we go. She had a queer feeling. Nope, that's not it. A homosexual. No. No. See, they're using it different now. See, it used to be homosexual, but it's not just homosexual anymore. Okay. Terms and definitions. LGBT right there. Click on that one.

80:22LGBTQ now. Oh, no. There's an I and an A in there, too. Look at that. See? Look at that. Yeah. Make that larger so my shitty eyes can read it. Bisexual, transgender. Yeah. Look at But look at above. Above. Go above to the top. Look. LG. LGBTQA. What is TBLG? Queer asexual. Queer or asexual is the question or questioning and asexual or but there's interexual too. There's I. Some people choose I. Wait, what's I? What does that mean? I don't know. Let's get to Q. Queer. I is interex. Interex says Jamie. An umbrella term used by LGBTQA people to refer to the entire LGBT community. An alternative that some people use to queer is the idea that labels and categories such as lesbian, gay, bisexual, etc. similar to the concept of queer, of gender queer. Oh, okay. Gender queer is different. What's gender queer? I think that'd be like me, like non-binary where I don't fall under

81:24the spectrum of male or female. Gender queer is a term which refers to individuals or groups who are queer or problematize what you're making a fake wordgemonic hegemonic notions of sex, gender, and desire in a given society. Gender queer people possess identities which fall outside of the widely accepted sexual binary. You're non-binary. Are you okay? You're gender queer, bro. Yeah, you're gender queer. Gender queer may also refer to people who identify as both transgendered and queer. I.e. individuals who This is This is a lot of work, man. It's a lot of work. This much time. This is what you do when you don't chop firewood. This is what you do. It's too easy to get water. It's too easy. Get bottled water. It's too easy. Society, we have to invent all these things now. What happened to just being Why does everybody have to be defined? I don't know. Why do we have to check each other

82:19to make sure that everyone's on the same agenda? Do you know how much I'm dreading my son, our son, sorry, going to school? Do you know that there are schools that don't have grades, first grade, second grade, third grade, so that the kids don't feel bad? There's no hierarchy, group one, group two, group three, like that. These soft people are trying to eliminate all forms of competition and scrutiny, and they're calling any criticism of you at all bullying. Anything is bullying. It's all bullying. Yeah, there's there's a lot of like peewee leagues with no no score, no winners. I know. It's crazy. It's weird. That is really weird. It's weird. I think losses really help you as a kid. I think shame helps you. Loss, anxiety, fear, those are were all my primary motivations as a young woman and it carried me very far. I'm not a loser because of these things. I'm sure

83:10like the people that do it that that do mean or say mean to kids, they realize after they do it how shitty it feels. Like it's a learning experience even for them. Like they should absolutely be corrected. But this idea that somehow or another you're going to wipe all that stuff out. That's a part of being a person. It's a weird part of being a person. Like people like the fact that they can affect people by saying you know? Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. the idea that we're going to sanitize out everything so that your kids will never have to feel a bad feeling ever again. No one everything's going to be perfect, right? We're going to make a whole new bathroom, right? We're going to make a whole an asexual bathroom cuz some people just they're not sure. Some people people are just going to start outside. They're just going to I can't wait for this. Oh, what is this one? A

83:55half a skirt. Is this new? The forum someone just posted. Oh my god. Is that new? Is that real? That's a college. That's where your tax dollars are going. It's a high school somewhere. That's what it says. Yeah. Come on, man. How many people this How big of an issue is this? I don't know. You know, because there's people that have all sorts of very strange uh identity disorders, you know? Yes. There's a guy in England that thinks he's a six-year-old girl and he identifies as a six-year-old girl and he wears pigtails, the whole deal, and he sits down with his kids and his own parents. He has kids. Yeah, he has kids. Wow. But he identifies as being a six-year-old girl. And hey, we have to accept this. As long as you change gender, there you are. He's with his family. As long as you change gender, everybody's cool with it. Meet the 52year-old father. Yeah. See, if he

84:40thought he was 13, he tried 13-year-olds. But I'm 13, too. You know, right? Is that the whole Everybody go, "No, you're out of your mind, dude. She is gorgeous." Look at this. He's living as a six-year-old girl. Uhhuh. Abandons wife and kid. Yeah. Good. But let's be thankful for that. Seven kids. He has seven. Oh, jeez. She has. Yeah, but do you want kids? Do you want her to be a daddy? Well, it's too late. Yeah. You know, she's already a daddy. Better. Those kids are the kids are better off without her. Jesus. So, he was living as an adult. He has uh, you know, a family, the whole deal. And then just decides that he's not just a woman, but he's a small a young six-year-old girl. Yeah. There's something else going on. Again, psychiatrists need to get involved here. Let's give us a little volume on this young Jamie project web series and as well the TV show Am I a boy or a girl?

85:32Am I a boy or a girl? You decide to go so public with your story. Um I paid a pretty heavy price for transitioning and so at a certain point he has to act like it's normal. I've already lost everything and everything has happened. I'm going to be me and I'm going to show other people that it's okay to be. It looks like most middle-aged women in Wisconsin. It just liberated me. Like my friend's moms when I was a kid that in in like in Milwaukee, they all look like that. They're all transgendered six-year-old. I'm torn. Yeah. Yeah. About what? Because I don't give a if he wants to be a woman, right? But I just can't. I can't. This is There's a line that's being pushed by these They keep they keep going further and further and they keep taking advantage of your acceptance and they want nonsense to get through. This is nonsense. This is a person who just wants nonsense. The

86:31world didn't work out for them. The regular world of having a short haircut and wearing t-shirts like, "No, I'm going to wear little girls dresses. I'm going to be a six-year-old." Hey, how about you? How about you, man? Enough. Now, here's the thing. Don't you feel like 20 years ago, maybe even less, the answer to like I'm a six-year-old. Everyone be like, "Hey, go yourself." Cuz all these shutins are all online and they're all ganging up. They're ganging up and attacking universities and attacking anybody who sees anything any differently. This is not acceptance, folks. Acceptance is 100% fine. You should be able do whatever you want. But you want to pretend that's not crazy, we got a problem. If you're a 52-y old man, you pretend to be a 6-year-old boy, you're out of your mind. Well, guess what? If you're a 52-y old man, you want to be a 6-year-old girl, you're still

87:19out of your mind. You've been alive for 52 years. We're supposed to pretend that your life experiences is nothing because you enjoy that stage of life. You're given so much credibility to this idea. I feel like this is because of the gender switch% because you're into especially if you're like me. If you're a man and a meatthead like me, you're like, you Insensitive This is nonsense. But for the record, I'm a woman and I think this is complete horseshit, too. It's 100% horseshit. And you know, and also there's something good about the conformity of the 1950s and before cuz I feel like I'm serious. We got to rock around. Of course. No, I'm telling you that's you know that was a time when you couldn't He's got seven kids, bro. having kids. Don't you think that outweighs your duty to your family? Outweighs your need to be a six-year-old girl. It's why you're drawn to I'm I'm

88:15drawn to it, too. The people that are really direct like nobody like Dan like you know dudes the the the business coach. Oh, the $50 billion man. Holy You would love this guy. You love him. I thought you were going to say Joey Diaz. Well, like no nonsense. If you do if you look up Dan Pena, this is why you're poor. Oh Jesus, and you and you scroll scroll to a minute 40. That guy. Yes. Just do what he says. He's so direct and so it's so funny. He doesn't give a though. That's what Oh, he's almost dead. Well, yeah. But Donald Trump's going to rock the planet. He's a Trump supporter. Yeah, he's out of his mind. Yeah, I think so. But but they're friends, I think. Yeah, he knows him. Go to I don't think we could play his stuff without getting sued. Jamie, can you hear his audio? Yeah, I don't think so. Yeah, I highly doubt he'll let you play his stuff without you. He'll yank you

89:12offline. H I would imagine. Yeah, they're going to find you. Think so. Yeah. Matter of time. Oh I don't know. I don't know. I just think this is his property. Like his his lectures and all his stuff. I I don't This is where fair use argument comes in. Especially if you play Yeah, that fair use argument is not it's it's a weird argument. We play all the time and talk about it and it gets jacked. Well, did you see the guy the video today? The guy who got attacked by a grizzly bear. Yeah, we were talking about that. Holy Hunting elk. No, he wasn't even hunting. He was looking scouting elk. He was scouting for an upcoming client and he came across a mama bear and her cubs. That's what's up. Yeah. And he even sprayed it with bear spray. He said dead on 25 yards like unloaded and the bear just ran right through right through it. Well, she had her babies. That's what

90:00the mama mama bear does. You don't I mean you don't you don't know what they're going to do until they do it. That bear spray might work sometimes. Yeah. But it didn't work this time. That guy got mauled. His face got Yeah. Yeah. Look, it's hard to tell here, but his skin is hanging off of his head above his ear. And the bear bit through his arm, too. His name's Todd Ore. Well, he's lucky he got away on my face and protected the back of my neck. Oh my god. He got my head good. I don't know what's under my hat. That's not good. My arm. His arm's broken. Look at that. Pieces of stuff hanging out. just twitched. You couldn't imagine a bear. A female grizzly bear protecting her cubs. Look how tough this guy is. Hold on. Back that up there for a second there. Back it up. Look at that. Listen to this. Legs are good. Internal organs are good. Eyes are good.

90:57I just walked out three miles. Now I go to the hospital. So yeah, but he stopped to make a video. So listen to that pragmatic way of looking at. Legs are good, eyes are good, internal organs are good. Like that is the fear. Like that guy just came in contact with a real live monster. Yeah. A grizzly bear twice. twice in a day. A real live monster. After that three mile hike, got in his truck and drove 20 miles to a hospital. Jesus Christ. Probably so happy just he's alive. I mean, did you see the photos? The scar. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah, the photos are massive. Yeah. That's really really big, man. Yeah. I wonder if that was a claw. It's probably a claw. Now, sorry. He's So, he's scouting for elk. So, this is like a public What is it? A a I don't know where where where do people hunt? Some kind of a hunting area. Yeah, he's probably on He could be on private land,

91:57but most likely he's on public land. And um you know, they have uh they don't I don't believe Montana has a grizzly bear season. They do have grizzly bears. He just came over a ridge, right? Wasn't he just walked over and then Yeah. I think the only place you can hunt grizzly bears in North America is Alaska. I think I think there's grizzly bears in Alaska and then I don't think you even hunt grizzly bears in Canada. You imagine the diarrhea. Oh no, you do hunt them in Canada. They hunt them in British Columbia. What am I talking about? Like when you when you walk over and then 80 yards there's a bear that just sees you like and you're like oh god. And then you just he got to spray like he knows if you're around bear like you can't book it. You're not going to run. What are you supposed to do? I mean he sprayed it. We know that. Oh, Christ. Yeah, that's one photo of his arm, but check

92:46out the other ones, J. One of his head. It's hard to pull him up because I'm not logged into Facebook. Oh, okay. Um, just see if you can find it outside of uh But oh my god. Yeah, poor guy. So, my buddy Adam Greenree, who was on the podcast last week, he's a bow hunter. There it is. Look at his head. Look at that giant scar that goes from his temple all the First of all, if you wanted a scar on the back of your head, that's the spot. Like, it doesn't doesn't rip his ear off. It doesn't, you know, is he's got a nice line on his head, but it seems like it'll stitch back together. As long as he doesn't have an infection from the bear bite. guy's got a good story, too, for a while now. Oh, sorry. One bite on my forearm went through to the bone and I heard a crunch, man. You just said, "You're dead, right?" You're like, "This is it." This guy's really good about social media.

93:36This He's like, "Hey, everyone, I got to tell you this." Like did a video. that a couple Facebook this Well, this guy's a hunting guide. Do you know how like in tune with the wilderness the guy this guy must be in a Montana? Oh man, Montana is the woods, man. I mean, it's beautiful, but I mean it is a wild state. Yeah, they have a lot of grizzly bears there, man. Lot of lot of like free roaming animals everywhere, right? Cuz we went there and we went to Bosezeman and we drove down this road and we we pulled over. We saw a hundred elk just sitting in this field like right off the side of the road. We were like, "This is crazy." Like just get out of the car and look at them. So beautiful. A hunting trip or No, with my family. We went to We did the Yellowstone thing, but just looking out and looking at all these animals like Whoa. And apparently, well, we saw

94:24grizzlies there, but we saw them in a grizzly sanctuary, but apparently people just run into them all the time. Yeah. You just you could up like this guy and just accidentally be in the wrong place at the wrong time. And the the female has her cubs. I remember going there once and having the the a guide tell us, you know, if you run into a bear and like do these things and the whole time your brain's like you're just going to die, you know, like he's like, you know, cover your ears and crouch, but like play limp, don't fight back, don't run. This guy actually did it, which is the crazy part. He actually did it. And he played dead on that second one he said. Yeah, he just went limp. It's the only way. God, imagine going limp while that thing is biting you. Oh my god. Jesus Christ. So scary. They're so big. It's such a terrifying. It's It's It's crazy that it's a real thing. Yeah. That

95:13there's a real animal that's 11 ft tall. So crazy. And it weighs 1,000 lbs. So my friend Adam, he went um on an elk hunt by himself in Montana. He was in Montana. Shot an elk and uh he's he has to pack it off the mountain. He's like 14 miles in. So he's got to pack this 1,000 lb animal. He's going to do it in, you know, 150 200lb chunks. So he's going to and each one of them is going to take a day. So he's doing it essentially four days of just packing out meat. So the the first day when he goes back, a grizzly was sleeping on the carcass, a giant grizzly bear, 11t grizzly bear sleeping on the dead elk. He has to chase it off and scare it. He has to yell at it to try to get it out of there. He has a pistol with him. No. By himself. I don't think I would have taken that route by himself. Yeah. No, that's nuts. No, he can have the elk, dude. The bear ran off. Really? Yep. Is

96:10that the approach you would have done without knowing this? Or you been like, "Fuck, man. I don't know." I mean, you supposed to do that. They say you're supposed to yell. I mean, if you wanted to leave, but you might want to just give it the meat. Yeah. Get the out of there. Just get the out of there. That's not your elk anymore, dude. He doesn't he didn't want to do that because he he worked hard for that elk and he shot it. Right. Right. It's a tough call. That's I wouldn't want to be the one to make it. No. Of course not. No. See, on the one hand, you would say, well, look, the bad news is I don't get to meet. The good news is the grizzly bear I get to eat cuz I really like bears cuz I had a teddy bear when I was a kid. That's my friend Cameron Haynes. That's one that he killed in Alaska. Wait, is he the guy that also does those crazy marathon runs? He ran 200 miles this summer in a

96:53day. 78 hours. He ran for three days. He slept three hours in three days. How do you how does your system keep going like on Well, you have to build up to it. He was running a half a marathon a day. Every day was running 13 miles. That's insane. And then he ran 100 miles in like June to prepare for uh the the 205 miles in uh August. Wow. It's insane. That is insane. I mean, there's the mental part which is its own thing, but then physically, doesn't that just Well, he looks tired there. He does look tired. Well, he didn't just do it. He's kind of crazy. I mean, he's he's a good a good friend of mine. I love him to death, but he's crazy. And this is what one of the things he did. He uh he lost a ton of weight. He went from 180 lbs down to below 160 just by starving himself. So, he had his body eat itself. So, because he was already lean, like he didn't have any fat to lose. So, the

97:46only way for him to lose weight is burn 3,000 calories, eat 2,000. So he did that for months till his body like shriveled away down to uh like I think he got under 160 before he do this. Mhm. Like the other day he put a picture on his Instagram. He weighed 158. When I met him he weighed 180 and he was built like you lift weights but he did one of these at 180 and it was too hard so he decided to lose the weight. So that's how he lo like you know what kind of discipline you have to have to just make your body eat itself like you don't even have any fat even at sub 160 to run that that much like to your knees your joints that's got to be brutal right it's not good well that's what he said he said it's it was really like it's you could do performance-enhancing drugs but it's really not necessarily going to help you or really help it's they're not going to

98:36help you not feel pain or be able to be tough like it's a lot of it is just being tough yeah He's a tough son of a man. He likes the suffering, right? Yeah. He's a maniac. He's got issues, but he's also like one of the most successful bow hunters ever. Really? He hasn't Bow hunting is the hardest thing in the world to do when it comes to uh acquisition of meat. Like there's no harder way to What state does he live in? Oregon. There's no harder way to get an animal than with a bow and arrow cuz you have to get within a certain distance. You have to practice every day. You have to And he hasn't had an unsuccessful bow hunt since 2009. And he goes every year. He kills like multiple elk every year. That's like unheard of. Nobody does that. Like everybody has dud dud trips. Like you go and you struck out, you just don't see the right animals. You don't get he he's

99:21just I mean that's what he's designed for. That's what he does. And he just excels at it. And if he doesn't find something, he just like runs a 100 miles to the next spot there. I've hunted with him and the thing that's crazy is how he doesn't get tired. Like I'm in pretty good shape. I follow him up the hills. I'm like, "Fuck." Some people are wired like his sister Maria is a similar level of lunacy. Does she do marathons and She does like uh she's done like tri half triathlons and she uh she did 5.8 miles the day before she gave birth to one of her kids. And not only that around there, oh my god. And her uterus was falling out of her vagina from doing all that. And the doctor said, "You got to stop." Doctor said, "You need a nice cyst in there to tighten things up." Tighten it up. A nice watermelon size ball size. A nice little sis. No, but she is one of

100:11those people that is always like, "What do you want to do?" Always going, "Wow, what do you want to do?" She's really athletic. She was in the Navy and she beat out all the guys doing push-ups, right? She did the whole uh Yeah, they have a PT test. Yeah. She beat all the women and all but one guy. Jesus Christ. Animal. Just like her brother. Yeah. Just hardcore guy. Just like her brother. Did she do those tough mutters? Those are the weirdest ones. your mouth full of mud. People get sick as They get horrible diarrhea. Because for real, I don't What is this? I don't know what this is. Tough mutters. They're these crazy races where you have to go through. You're literally running a lot of it through mud. You're climbing through things. The people that get out of them, they're totally covered with mud. But the problem with that is mud is water and still water is super bad to

100:55ingest. So these people get that mud in their mouth and they get the pathogens in that mud and they just get a broken fire hydrant for an Yeah. Just where your body's like just we're just going to clean this whole machinery out. It's like spring cleaning with a a carpet cleaner. It does look fun. Like the I think the running and you know what I mean? Like Oh, this is the mud stuff. Oh boy. Oh, these people are maniacs. Nobody told them this diarrhea. Well, they learn. They learn. I mean, some people are just really into it and they keep their mouth shut. They know how to do it or keep their mouth closed and they don't uh they don't breathe it in. But when they when you see them running through it, it's like like they have all the What do you Sorry. Yeah. This is just people waiting, dude. I don't think this is an actual This is just people walking. There's There's some where you see them

101:47running and doing all this stuff. This is just a bunch of people walking through a swamp. Get your life. But if you do that crawl, like sometimes you have to crawl under stuff, too. I guess that's when you can get it in your mouth. So stupid. I'm sorry. That's the kind of things people do when it's too easy to get food. That's what's up. Go to Africa. It's the same exact thing as the Z, Z, he, her, him, her. 18 gender pronouns. They're not doing this in Somalia. I guarantee there's no mud races. Gender phobic. Yep. Look at this. See how they're climbing out of this? Yes. maniacs. Yep. Waiting through this How far are most of these? Do you know that? Do you know? That's a good question. A tough couple miles. Yeah, it's like some of them about a mile in between some of these obstacles. So, it's like six, seven miles. Six, seven miles. All right. Look at you're they're literally they made

102:34mud for them to play in like they're three, right? I'm going to challenge myself. But this is a setup. Like they make all this, right? This is so goofy. Sorry folks, if you're listening, bro. I was a fan. Yeah. So, you can't on tough mutters. Yeah. Why don't you try it, Maybe. Maybe I don't want pathogens. Huh? I'm not into Jardia. I'm not into taking that mus in my mouth. This is a real This is a real hate mail episode. We got We always bring the hate though, you know, lot of gender stuff this time. You know what though? Not real gender stuff, though. No, no, no, no. The fake stuff. No, not the legit people that are like, "Dude, I'm a I'm a man trapped in a woman's butt." That's that I do believe obviously, right? But just keep to yourself. Keep keep your weird to yourself. that Suppress it. Exactly. Suppression's good. Yeah. I'm telling you, the 1950s, not all bad. No, but you

103:32know, there was transgender people in the turn of the century. The turn of the 20th century. There's a lot of photos of transgender people from back then. It's always been a thing. I used to see them more in in Hollywood when I lived there about 15 years ago. I just don't buy the going back and forth. Sorry. I Yeah, I don't I don't think most most people do. I think it's an attention seeking uh something something something else is going on there. I think not all your feelings should be acknowledged. I agree. That's important. Right. I agree. That's important. You like this the guy who wants to be the six-year-old girl. I mean, they have all these specials on him. He's 57 years old. They don't have I can't They don't have specials on him because it's an extraordinary story. They have specials on him because, you know, it's ridiculous and you're going

104:14to watch it and it's funny. Yes. Yeah. It's weird. Yeah. You You can't go back in time, right? You lived a long time. You have to be responsible. They have a special on him the same reason they have a special on a lady who doesn't cut her toenails. You know, it's like she's like, "These are my special nails." And it's so true. Shoes and I can't get a job. Right. Right. And they can never get a job. That's the the the downer. None of these people are employable. That is the one common denominator. What you What do you do for a living? Not anymore. Wait. And that's discrimination, by the way. You're discriminating against her, guys. Yeah. Well, I've heard people discuss the merits of the sacred argument where you're not allowed to cut your hair because of your religion, right? And I'm like, well, listen, at the end of the day, it's just your hair. And if

104:59your religion is about cutting your hair or not cutting your hair, I'm sorry, but it might be Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can't So, if you can't you can't like just say, "Hey, my hair's getting in the way. I'm just going to cut it." Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, who says that? Who says you can't? I know what you're talking about, too. Your Dolly Swami guy. Yes. Yes, we have two guys. Who tells you you can't do it? Is it written somewhere? What's happening here? You can't just cut your hair and be the same guy. No, man. It's a sacred, right? God's going to punish you if you eat meat on Friday. The older you get, the more absurd the like religious um you know, customs and and yamama all those all the principles. Take the hat off. the meeting the meat eating and the you know the wash stuff over here we have a kosher kitchen in our rental house not our bought it from a couple of

105:54juice but yeah it's all it's all but I like the kosher kitchen it's fine but here's the thing I support fully that if you don't want to ever cut your hair again you should be able to not cut your hair again if you want to grow your hair crazy long and grow your beard crazy long my problem is if you think a deity want you to do that. If you think that there's some mystical guy, if you just say, "You know what, dude? I just like it getting crazy. I like crazy beard. I want crazy hair. I just I just like being hairy, man. I like the feeling." Okay. It's 100%. Nobody with Rick Rubin, right? Yeah, it's true. Rick Rubin just lets it all go. Lets it all go. The hair on top all up. The beard's all up. Driving around a Rolls-Royce. That is the genius. the crazier you look and then you have like a $300,000 car. Yeah, this guy's rad. And he's a handsome fella underneath all that I bet. I mean,

106:47he just decides like that's his look. Just full on crazy hair. You're not so far. I feel like you're almost there. You could let that go. Why don't you see if um I think though as a comic you're better off without that kind of like I think so presence. Then you're married to that look, right? Well, what's that guy's name? He's at the store though sometimes. He has quite a look. You know what I'm talking about. He's like he was a cab driver. He holds his coat over his over his arm and he has I don't know. And he's got all the notes. Sam Tripley. Jay London. Jay London. Jay's got a look. That's a look. That's just Jay though. That's who he is. That is who he is. But I'm saying like a picture of Rick Rubin. Rick Rubin in a Rolls-Royce cuz I've seen several. Yeah. Yeah. Is this fun funny about a guy who looks like a homeless guy or like a crazy LA street guy? That's my favorite. And

107:35they're just gazillionaires and you never know it. Yeah. And in LA, anybody that walks into a store, restaurant that looks homeless could be worth $500 million. I think like sh What? Seeks. Seeks aren't allowed to cut their hair. That's what they're called. But here's the thing. Remarkably cool people. Yeah, I've met a lot of them, especially in Toronto. There's a big seek population in Toronto. Some of the nicest, coolest people, but they just have that thing. That's so here one of two things you could say well yeah I mean he believes that a deity wants him to do but another thing you would say well maybe it identifies you with this group of people and you feel like outsiders and you feel like if you grow your hair and wear it wrapped up like that like you feel like you fit in with that group with your group I mean I grew up in LA with a bunch of seed kids and

108:25we just made fun of them you know you would just call them onion heads or whatever and it was up for them is what I'm saying cuz then you get singled out and and with by your white. I'm sure God doesn't want you to, you know, get teased relentlessly. That's your point. That's my point. You think God wants you to be bullied? That's not a loving God. The white and Jewish men that run rap. I love it. Yeah. Oh, that's hilarious. That one major record companies. Oh boy. Well, okay. Yeah, but he's dressed like like a dude who lives in Seattle. That's with Jay-Z. I like them. Mhm. Yeah. He's rad, dude. What's What's in his hand? It looks like a what is that called? Prayer. Yeah. Is that what that is? Mhm. Like a Buddhist. Okay, there you go. He's meditating. Weird, bro. That's a very weird look. Those prayer beads in front of a private jet with Jay-Z, right? Jay-Z's got a $25,000 suit on.

109:17Yeah. All right. Who is that with a seal? Seal. What happened to that dude? Well, funny you should ask. He remember when he sang recently in public for the first time in like a million years and it was really bad. Oh no, it wasn't the first time in a million years. No, it wasn't. I'm never going to survive. I know. But it wasn't the first time in a million years. In like a zillion years. No. No, it was he just sang he sang on the Super Bowl pregame show. It was horrific. But he's he's been he didn't he never like went away. I thought he he left the game. Not at all. Not at all game. He's with He's banging. What's her name? Khad Clum. They're divorced. They're divorced baby. I don't even know. All your facts on this are not right. So, the guy I know I don't know about celebrities. Come on. But it was a terrible performance. Do you know how like uh certain uh songs or certain

110:08musicians like bring you back to a time in your life? With Seal, it was the first time I ever bought a stereo. Oh. Oh, really? The first stereo I had to buy and I was dating this girl who was like really into music and she told me, "You have to get this Seal album." I like really like seriously. Yeah. Yeah. And I had it set up. I I bought an actual stereo for the first time in my life and I had uh one big speaker to the like I had speakers that were on stands that got off the floor. Those big things. Oh, those are great. I didn't even have a couch yet. And I had this uh this stereo that sounded really good. And I played the CD. I set it all up myself. I put the wires in the right holes and pinched them down the little things. And then uh I played that CD and where you have like one big speaker over here and one over there and you could hear the sound like moving around back

110:55and forth and I really appreciated like what he was doing. Like I'd never heard it before in anything but like shitty car stereoss with like blown speakers. Yeah. You know, dude's a talented dude for sure. Well, and when we were talking about Seal earlier, you made a good point about that song when I got is that like dads like that song. Yeah. Like everyone likes that song. Dads, even with their fat gut, when they're driving their electric golf course over to the ninth hole, they want to pretend they're still artists. I'm ready to get a little crazy. I get crazy with my whole family, with everybody. Crazy. They all know. They all know. They all know it gets crazy. Mike Mike can just go to this place. I can just I have a switch. That switch goes and I don't even know. you know that you have you have to wake me up after it's over, you know. I just uh I'm free.

111:47I feel like my dad definitely probably just had that on a loop, you know, just like one song. Yeah, of course your dad liked it. Yeah, my dad liked Prodigy a lot. Like he would get ripped and just play that through the house like I'm a fire start. It was so horrible. Whoa. Yeah, I hated it. You remember that one? My dad drank too much. Crazy song that was like a big one too that everybody would crank in their car. Was it a a seal one? No. No, no, no, no. Was Chumba Womba? No, no, no. Like an official dad song. You mean? No. It was like How did the did it go? A dad song. There is There are dad songs. And when I lost my mind. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hold on. That special time. How's that go? Trying to think. I don't know. Made me cry. CEO. Yeah, it was CEO before the ecstasy charge. That's a good song, too. Oh, that's right. Nles Barkley. CEO is You. Yeah, CEO is in Nles Barkley with uh

112:46it's with Danger Mouse. It's like a All right. So, CEO is he's a singer. Oh, he's in it. I thought Nles Barkley was a dude. H That is a universally loved song, too. Yeah. Hate that. People love to think they're crazy. I'm just crazy. Uh the Andre the Andre 3000. What's going to happen? What was that? Oh, hey. Hey, that's a jam. Melodically, dads can get into it, you know? It's not just for the kids, right? That's true. Like Outcast, that's for the kids. But that song, dad going to listen to it, too. Real dads only. It's like jazz. Yeah. Sophisticated. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, no, I like black kids music. Yeah. That's what that is. The kids are listening to Yeah. I was listening to this rap song where they were talking, this guy was trying to romance this girl. He was talking about uh playing chess with her and eating organic food. Oh. and listening to jazz in the song.

113:37Yeah. Yeah. In a rap song. Yeah. Trying to romance this girl. Organic vegan. You know what song I was listening to? Yeah. I was listening I was watching an episode of Glee. I don't know why. I know. I know. I'm becoming horribly lame. And they they played that song, the thong song. What's that? Right. She had dumps like a truck. Truck. Truck. Guys like Well, what? She took dumps like a truck. No. What does that mean? Dumps like a truck. Like her ass is like a dump truck. She's a good dump. She had dumps like a truck. Yeah, I know that. But her dumps are her. They're just trying to make things rhyme. The more you look into it, it'll you up. Cisco. That's who it is, right? Yeah. We can't go down the rabbit hole. There's the thong song. Cisco. How How long ago was this made? That's got to be in the 60s, right? When James Brown was a baby. Yeah. Cisco had a gang of buses. What's

114:31he doing now? This guy was huge. Yeah, this song was he had Look at He's got all these buses. He has five buses pull up. They say Cisco on them. I want everything white. Let me see your booty go. There you go. There you go. Yeah, he's still There you go. There you go. Shimmy shimmy. There you go. Yeah. Well, Tommy, you got me on to Gucci Mane. You son of a I did. Yeah, you son of a I was listening to Gucci Mane, some new Gucci Mane thing the other night. And I'm like, he wrote that five minutes ago. Yeah, he wrote that on cough syrup 5 minutes ago. Right. Straight out the fed, man. First day at the feds. He's got a new new album. What's his big song, Jeans? He lost a lot of weight in prison. You notice that? Yeah. He's got a six-pack now. I mean, he really lost a lot. Yeah. He has a ice cream cone on his face. It says Burr with a lightning bolt. Uhhuh. Gucci. Uh-huh.

115:28Yeah. That's hilarious. Gucci doesn't play, man. Young Thug and Gucci man. He's young protege. Young Thug. He's a little bit of I don't know. I wouldn't call him fluid gender. I'm not going to say that. But he's like fashion designer. He wears. First of all, it's gender fluid. God, you are not going to misgender misgender ID on my show. You ain't the His jeans were a little whack. He like standing out. I didn't I didn't Let's not Let's not like Let's not denim sh You know what song you would like though from from Gucci before before he got locked up? The uh Lemonade song. Oh, I've heard that song. Are you like Yeah, that's a catchy song. I mean, dads can listen to it. Tell Sing it out. How can uh How does it go? Uh what's that? We're being invaded. Oh Aliens. Neighbors. Oh yeah. How does it go? It goes next door neighbor's alarm's going off. Oh, is it? Yeah, that's really

116:22what's it called? The purge is happening. Yes, the purge. I have a sandwich sword. H I'm scared. Wait, how does that song go? Sing your Yeah, lemonade song. Sing lemonade. Yellow everything, man. Yellow yellow birds, yellow diamonds in my head. Yellow, yellow, yellow. That's good. There you go. That's how it starts. I think maybe he makes things. Come on. You like it? Negative. No. All right, I'll play it for you in the car. Somebody likes it, though. Lots of people. That song's catchy. Actually, I'm the minority here. I cut it from YouTube. Yeah, he's he's cutting it off of YouTube so we won't get pulled from YouTube. So people can hear this on See, yellow that yellow like gold, right? First place. I like money for a while. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It's the melody, right? It's like Yeah. It sounds good though. It seems like he's having a good time. Look how big he is there. Yeah, he

117:20definitely had more body fat. Yeah, probably did a lot of push-ups in the house. Yeah, man. Eating right, got focused, probably wrote some good And this is all pre-tatto, too. Yeah, he had a few then, though. But not on the face. Not on the face. He had a baby face. He's got my favorite all time saying to a judge. Oh, that's not real. Mr. Mine, are you guilty? He goes, I might be. That's like That's a meme, right? He didn't actually. Really? No, he said that. I thought that was judge. That's funny. Gucci Mane did not. What? I might be. It's hoax. Why did you ruin it for me? Keep me in the dark. Damn, dude. I'm sorry. Oh, no. Jamie, you keep me in the dark. Keep me in the dark on things that are too good. I might be. That's the greatest thing ever to say that to a judge. Gender, Sorry. I was talking to Jamie. So privileged. Jamie, you are so privileged. How do you

118:15Are you guilty, I might be. Yeah. Come on. be one of the greatest things that anybody could say ever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Disrespect guys. 1950s. There's some great videos, by the way, if you're ever bored. I don't know if you ever looked up on YouTube, judges handling um people acting out of line at at like sentencing things. It's incredible. Yeah. Have you ever seen the one where the girl is like uh she says something in Spanish to this Cuban judge in Miami? He's like He has a really heavy accent. Oh, I remember this. You ever seen that? No. It's unbelievable. This is it. That's it right there. It's unbelievable, man. He flips she flips the bird to the judge. She And then she says something in Spanish, like to be cheeky to him, right? And then he's like, "Come back here. What did you say?" And she's like, "H I said like Buenos Diaz." And he gives her like an

119:06extra 30 days. And then she's like gives flicks him off. Walk. He's like, "Come back again." And he gives her like an extra 90 days. Whoa. She thinks she cute. That's why. You know what I'm saying? She is pretty. She's messing with her hair. She thinks she too cute. See how she's like laughing and stuff? Yeah, she thinks she cute. Yeah, he he rushes her. Isn't that interesting that it's uh the judge's discretion that he can do that? Yeah. Yeah. How weird is that? That shouldn't be the case. No, it shouldn't be. Like you're punishing her because she's being disrespectful to you or to the court itself. To both. I think that you have to respect the court. Did you see what they did to that Alabama judge? No, there was Oh, yeah. Here. Can I hear something? She's high though. Will Will we get yanked? I don't think so. You'll get We'll hear what he says to say to her.

119:52Has no sound. It has no sound. Yeah. Maybe. Oh, really? Oh. Oh, it was probably like the courtroom camera. The actual courtroom camera. Come back. Tom will do the voices. Come back here. She's laughing and smiling. Ding dong. Isn't it funny how people when they're in a position like that, you're caught like you're in court and they have all the power. You want to pretend like you don't give a You know, I'd give a lot of if I were her. If I were in front of a judge, I'd be very, very respectful and scared. I don't with the law. She just flipped him off. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy. Now he's angry. Oh, yeah. That's amazing that he can just do that. Yeah. It's kind of amazing because that's almost too much power. Like I understand that you're violating the court, but should it really be up to the judge to arbitrarily decide to give you 30 more days or 90 more days or whatever

120:43they give you. Should it really be up to him? I mean, maybe there's a rule like if you say the f-word or if you give someone the finger, you get an automatic like whatever. Oh, but then they should be able to pick a rule. I don't know. Maybe you think it is. Maybe that's contempt of court, isn't it? Oh, guys, I went to law school for two weeks and it's contempt of court to uh to be disrespectful, right? Yeah, for sure. You're not supposed to flip off a judge. You're supposed to dress a certain way. I mean, obviously the jumpsuit thing is its own thing, but like Yeah, you're supposed to respect the court, the judge. Well, she had to wear the jumpsuit cuz she But do you um do you think that the judge can just decide how many days he gives you? I mean, there's got to be a limit to it. Like you can't be sentenced to Yeah. for contempt. But look at that. Curses judge gets

121:30like a year. Wow. Cursed judge gets 364 days in jail for contempt. Well, he's domestic violence Yeah. I just don't know what the rules are like what a judge can do and what they I don't know either. But the sentencing is sentencing is a weird thing. They have minimums for certain things like murder and armed robbery and violent crimes. There's probably there's got to be parameters for but that's why there that's why you they're always like oh this judge particularly is lenient on this and that matter like you you almost want to choose your judge and you choose your jurors the attorneys do based on okay so I did really go to law school for two weeks and we did learn about jury selection and the key is you do want to get and this is horrible but usually like the dumbest people like you want to have people that are really you know um easily persuaded to whatever your cause is clearly

122:20and a judge too that is favorable if they're liberal if they're whatever you know that's true right you could guess based on their past the presidents yeah man yeah it it's very fluid Jeez Tom Jeez you doing all right I mean freaking us out by drinking that so quick I drink a lot of water no you don't you've cracked it open what Jesus are you guys fighting I hydrate a lot more than he does oh is this is this an issue It is, but it's not close. You hydrate more than absolutely not. I've been hydrating this whole time. Interesting. But he has that drink, too. That's Oh, I have this drink, too. This is also hydration. Much smaller. Well, I'm a smaller being. I weigh like a fraction of what he weighs. Fraction. I'm very tiny and petite. I'm the Oh, jeez. Look at my uh moniker. Dad mouth. But look at the water. You say the water champion. Is that what you uh you tell people that you're water

123:17champion? Yeah, I'm clearly the water champion. We've decided this. I got to do a I got to do a full new show. A lot of times, you know, they go, you're doing like 8 minutes, right? I did the entire broadcast. I did the weather and everything. All as DJ Dadmouth every What city was this in? In De Moines. Really? Yeah. So happy you were there. They were just like, "Oh my god." What are you doing in De Moines? I was I was there. I did two nights just at the Funny Bone. Is it fun? Yeah, I had a really good time. Really good time. Did you come up with this DJ Dadmouth thing just like it was it a specific like like a plan or did you do it like for fun? For fun. Totally for fun. Just did you do it one day? Like Yeah. And then we just did more. What happened was Tell Joe the whole story. I was 8 months pregnant and he's like, I'm going to buy like a ton of DJing equipment. I'm like,

124:05wait, what are you doing? Like he's like, I'm going to buy like $10,000 worth of in our house. And I was like, all right, this is your I clearly knew this is his last harrah as a free person. So, I try not to give him too much static. And then sure enough, all this DJing stuff shows up. Not 10 grand and stuff. No, it's You got decks and lights and lasers in the garage. Yes, that's what I said. Yes. Russ Peter's got you. Yeah, he's got a lot. He's got Well, he's a real DJ. He does like He goes to clubs. Yeah, he can do it. What do you say? He doesn't. No, he does. Yes. You're making a face. He does. What's that face? She was making a face because I was like, I'll get good enough at this to do after parties uh after my shows. Were you serious? I was half serious. Yeah, cuz I was like, you know what? Like, cuz I, you know, I I've I love hiphop. I've always grown up and

124:53I've always wanted to do it. So, I got the I got like, you know, introd not not 10 thou, not even 5,000, like not even close to that. I just bought turntables and got um fur jackets, gold chains. No, but come on. That was just silly to get. Yeah. If you were a DJ today and you were trying to spin turntables, don't you think people would be asking to take selfies in the middle of it and it would up your flow? No. If I was DJing Yeah. If you were like doing an afterparty, people would try to take selfies with you. Like, can you just take a selfie? You're like, I'm in the middle of be I'd be up there like my Facebook. Yeah, you're probably right. Yeah, for sure they would. Yeah, it would up your whole routine. I have to be honest. who really gave me the idea idea where I was like, "Oh, like this is actually possible was Hannibal because I was in Cleveland earlier this year and I

125:42saw him tweet that he was in Cleveland doing a pop-up show, right?" He just tweeted out, "I'm doing like a whatever, like a rock club pop-up show. No advanced notice." So, I texted him. I was like, "I'm I'm over at Hilarities, that great club in Cleveland. Uh, when is your show?" He said, "Like 9." I go, "Mine's at 8. you want to do a guest spot? And he goes, "Yeah." So then afterwards, he had an afterparty at the uh and I and that's me basically geeking out on the decks. Look how excited Tom is. Yeah. So and then Tony Trim, which is the DJ that travels with him, was like, "Oh, dude, you can just get this and like you can just buy this stuff." And and and that's what really got me to do it was scroll one up. Let's look at that white guy dance move. Look at that. Look at that move you're doing there. He's doing it. You're doing this. Oh, okay. Dad. Yeah. Yeah, that's

126:33true. You're just listening to your That's what really geeked me out was I'm never going to say that. And but the name DJ Dadmouth came because he was becoming a father at the time and I was like, you're like way lame, bro. You're me a dad and then it kind of morphed into DJ Dad. That's true. DJ Dad, that's true. But taking it on to Morning News was like one time goof. Funny. That was like so fun that I was like this all the time, you know. So, when you went on as a one-time goof, did you have a plan or did you just Not really. What did you do? I was just like the fun thing was to go was when cuz I the thing I hate the most when you do they're like what can audiences expect this weekend? They always say that. Oh, I hate that. And I'm like a show jokes. Um Yeah. What do you talk about? Yeah. What's what's what's bothering you right now, Tom? Yeah. That's the setup. Tell what's

127:21going on in your life. And they think you're they're like and then they go just do whatever you want. Like just have fun with it. So when they do that, I was just like, "It's not really I don't really give a about comedy." And then they were like, "What?" I'm like, "It's about the afterparty, you know? I'm going to be DJing while I'm here." Just to goof on them like, "Yeah, so funny." Because it was fun to have them be like, "All right, but you are at the funny bone, right?" I'm like, "I mean, for a minute, but like like I don't really care about the funny bone." And then you have the funny bone sitting right there off camera like panicking. I'm like, "Who cares?" Like the best part is when he sets up like the really cheesy anchors to ask him stupid questions. Yeah. Like did you Oh, you had someone do the bird is fat thing. I had that was the best one because you

128:04know if you ever sometimes when you go hey um you know ask me about farts or something, right? They'll be like like so they they know not to they they they check themselves on asking something provocative or or that's not 100% PG. So, I didn't know how it would go, but I go, "Oh, ask me why Bert's so fat." And the lady goes, "Okay." And and then so we just are in the middle of this interview and she goes, "Why is Bert so fat?" And I was like, "That's a good question." Like, I just rolled with it, you know, and then it grew. And then a hot dog eating champion, a guy that was in the Nathan challenge, he placed, didn't he place? Yeah. He's like one of the He was like a super competitive eater. Like a Kobayashi dude. This guy. this guy. Look at this sign. Can you play the audio on this? It's incredible. Life changing stuff. Um dropped about 100 pounds in 8 months. He dropped my

128:59cheat like day for the year. Um but you know, prepping just gallons of water. You know, I have two giant inspirations. First, my wife. It's our second anniversary today, so I want to say hi to her. And um there's a comedian I love. He's a big giant fat guy just like me, Bert Chrysler. And you know, if you can do it, I can do it. He's still way bigger than I am, but you know, maybe I can inspire him. There you go. Now, for people, why is this funny? This is why it's funny. Tom and Bert have been doing this thing for a year now where Tom will write # Bertisfat and then Bert will write Tom is fat and then they'll argue, they make videos with their shirts off arguing who's fatter. Yeah, it was fun. It's actually, you know, it's died down a lot. But like the fact that that guy, he did it on his own. When I put a picture of you up, I see # Bert is fat. If I talk about you, if I

129:52tweet about you, # Oh, yeah. It really took off. Yeah, it did. That doesn't mean that we didn't like We talked about on your mom's house, but we never thought We do all kinds of silly stuff, but this one really resonated with the audience. Why did that one really resonate? Um, you know what? There was there was great theories about this and I and I think it was this I think Matt Fulron pointed out to me the full charge said um you gave him the formula you gave audiences a joke formula here's a person it's a fat joke go ahead and I think that was what what was fun for people was to say like fat shame just to jump in on something that it's all like the formula is there you're asking them to pick a side and yes that's the competitive nature of it yeah Yeah. And they know that you guys really are good friends. Some did, some did not. I I would say most Most people did.

130:44Most people did. Did some people get mad? Oh, yeah. Some people were like really really harsh and really like I've always hated B. He's a piece of Like you're like whoa. Like like that. But it wasn't the majority. Some people were like that though. Yeah. Same thing to me. Some Some people were like, you know, that's You see, it's one of my theories about this Trump thing. M I think people just pick a side and that side represents the battle and it doesn't have to make any sense. If you like I whatever fact you bring about they're like I don't care. Like one of the things that I like if I post something about Hillary like some I get so many people that get so upset. And I'm like, look, it doesn't take away from like one guy was saying that um that uh the uh there's there's a bunch of different ones, but there was one recently um a Wikileaks one that came

131:31out today where Wikileaks is saying that she uh she said she asked about Julian Assange whether they could just drone this guy. Yeah. Yeah. She's which is kind of funny. Like I mean I get it. You know, she's saying he's he's thumbming his nose up in America. Can't we just drone this guy? Who knows whether she really said it or not? But the problem is if if somebody tweets it, the people that support Hillary don't go, "Whoa, that's kind of interesting." They go, "Oh, you you think that she really mean that? Where's your where's your proof? Like where?" Like all of a sudden they're defending their side. They're defending that person. Like they're so emotionally invested in her winning over Trump that instead of going, "Whoa, did she really say that?" Right? Let's check the story out. Or and as a human being just going, "What do you think she meant? Do you think it's a

132:15joke or is she crazy? Or is this do you think this is what they really do?" And then it starts you start thinking about some of the things that have taken place like that kid who leaked the emails to the DNC and wound up getting shot at 4:00 in the morning in the back in front of his house. You know that story, right? I don't know that story. No, no, no. This is a kid 4:00 in the morning. This is a guy who leaked the emails that showed that they collaborated to get Hillary elected over Bernie Sanders to make sure that she got the nomination. I mean, they literally distorted they distorted democracy. like the Democratic national campaign was working to try to get Hillary elected over him cuz Bernie Sanders is not really a Democrat. He's like more of an independent, you know, and like he doesn't play like partyline games and they had decided pretty early on that

133:01they were going to support her. So, it's not like the Democratic National Committee is just just being completely objective and just doing their best. He was murdered. League Assange hints murdered DC staffer was email leaker offers $20,000 reward for info. Oh my goodness. Yeah, this is a crazy story. It's a crazy story. I mean, if that is what happened and they decided to have someone kill that kid. So that kid is the one that leaked that. Exactly. But here's the thing. It worked. It not only is it he's dead, but no one's talking about it anymore. It's just one of those things. It just kind of went away. I don't know what happened. I mean, he might have just been killed in some random act of violence cuz he was in a bad place at the wrong time. Or somebody might have killed him. Yeah. Like that might have happened, too. Deliberate if he really did leak those emails. Like

133:48that is nuts. Yeah. Scary. That's a movie. Yeah, that is a movie. It sure is. And in this create crazy chaotic election, nobody has any time for that. There's too many other things you have to be thinking about. There's a million different things going on at the same time. Yeah. It really makes you like those pick and sides things too always makes you realize I think that that elections are never decided by either side. It really is decided by that person that can be swayed. It's such a small That's the weird thing is you know you're never going to the left the far left or the far right. It's all about the person who's like hm but who is the undecided? Like are you really those are two polar in my opinion opposite people Trump and Hillary. It's not like how are you on the fence? They're so I don't understand the way they're thinking. They're so polar. It's a joke. Yeah. Right. It's

134:38like a cartoon. Yeah. Right. Some people ignore the noise of all the the news stuff and the conversations. You really got to be like, what's the policy on this? And then I guess some people are are actually caught up, you know, thinking like an actual and then not not the drama of it all and the personality the drama. If you're one of those people that's actually going back and forth, right? You have to Well, just e neither or are ideal and anybody that pretends that either or are ideal is crazy. Yeah. No. So, I get you want to stop Trump because you think he represents everything that's wrong in the world. Well, to some people, Hillary represents everything that's wrong in politics, right? Some people have a problem with that, too, right? It's just the whole thing is it's just it's a weird sort of a social study as much as it is an election. You're you're watching this

135:34team thing play out this very strange way. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't know. I I I don't know either. I don't know either. Who do you think's going to win? That's the thing. See, that's the thing. It's like, who do you think's going to win? I don't know. I'm thinking I think people will pick a side. They'll pick a side whether it's Democrat or Republican. They'll pick a side at some point in their life and then they just start accepting stuff to stay on the team. They start going with stuff that goes that way. And you know, I mean, there's like some ridiculous like super ultra sensitive leftwing stuff that I think is preposterous. And then there's some ridiculous right-wing super conservative ultra religious stuff that I think is preposterous. And you you can only be one or the other. Like if you're a Republican, you have to believe in God and you have to be conservative and you

136:24have to, you know, you have to and now the party what the party is now is completely different than what it was in the 80s when Reagan was chilling and everyone was happy. Well, in the 80s is when they courted the religious right. That's how they made it the religious right. The the 80s, those religious people are a big part of the reason why Reagan got elected in the first place because they organized. Those church people organized, right? Like they all supported him because, you know, he was supporting Christian values. I mean there was much more of a separation of church and state in the earlier years of the government. Yeah. I feel well I feel like this year's election is in our lifetime or my lifetime is the most like that the votes are based on the the hatred of the other candidate more so than supporting the candidate in some ways. But some people love Trump. They

137:10love him, man. They love the idea that this guy's going to come in and just shake it up. Shake it up. M shake it up with all kinds of stupid. That's what I'm going to do. That is the dumbest guy I It's absurd. That debate the other night was insane. Yeah, I saw people that I like who said that he won the debate. That's so what you Yeah, Dave Rubin said it. No, boo boo. Yeah, Dave Rubin said he think that uh he thinks that overall Trump won. Like maybe the beginning was just brutal. I missed the beginning. Yeah. Did you see the beginning? No, I did not either. Yeah, I only saw the end when he was just stumbling. said he has a winning temperament and she just she just clowned him. She's clowning. Well, the winning temperament thing was such a like a childish temper tantrum. Well, it's so weird because he turns it around. Like the question was, "Did you

137:59say that Hillary doesn't have the right look to be president?" And he goes, "The look, the stamina, doesn't have the stamina. And she doesn't have a winning temperament. I have a winning temperament." And he turns it around on himself. Yeah. It's it's because he knows that the big knock so he's getting defensive that that was that was that was bait that he couldn't ignore because the big knock had been well one of the big knocks was like well you don't have the temperament because he's he's very thin skinned right like anybody tweets something at him he fights you know he has all the insults it's because his temperament doesn't seem presidential but he has a winning temperament that's the spin it's a neat spin but it just shows how much he absorbed all that stuff and was defensive about it Yeah. Yeah, I know. He's very defensive. He's totally presidential. Yeah. He gets very

138:45like doesn't really get away, but it's one of those things that his supporters ignore was how often, you know, he just goes like wrong. Like he wrong. That's not never said that. And it's all stuff that he did say. Yeah. And they just go like, well, who cares? He just And didn't some part of the tax thing came out that he How much money? 915 something million dollars in losses. So he didn't have to pay taxes for for a long time. 18 years. Yeah. 18 years. No taxes. Really? Well, he they said that he basically it's legal what he what they're saying. But this might be the reason why he hasn't wanted to release his tax returns is that that level of loss would allow him to not pay taxes on essentially 50 million in income, no federal taxes for about 20 years. Jeez. So, but they're saying, you know, that's why the reluctance to probably cuz once that's out there, even though he didn't break a

139:41law, that's, you know, Well, it also crushes the illusion that he's a successful businessman. Of course. Yeah. That you don't lose $950 million or whatever it was. Yeah. If you're doing great. Yeah. That's just a fact. He's filed bankruptcy. I mean, not personal bankruptcy, but uh couple times. A few times. Yeah. But it was weird when he was talking on the debate and Hillary brought that up and he goes, "It's because I'm smart." Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm smart. I don't pay taxes because I'm smart. You're running for president. Like this certain like people who have paid taxes who only make like 40 grand a year. They're not going to want to hear that. Right. President Kamacha, man. We might get them. We're getting them. The prophecy of idiocracy. I know. What do you think is going to happen next? Cuz this is what's fascinating to me. It's like once we get

140:28through him, okay, and whether or not he I don't think he can win at this point, but I've been wrong before. Yeah, people know Trump fans are getting mad. You don't think he's going to win? I'm going to piss on your brain when he wins and you kill yourself when you move to Canada. Again, this is the hate mail episode. This is the hate mail episode. Say, let's say if he wins, it's going to be very fascinating for us. It's gonna be holy a windfall. It's just going to be matter. You know what it's gonna be like? It's like, have you ever done like a um when I was living in New York, there was an inside joke with comedians that like if you were all a bunch of starters, you just started out and there was a black comic, that pl that comic would always want to go on last. Like, no, man. I was told I was supposed to headline, right? Like, but if it was a black guy with two other black guys, he

141:17always wanted to go on first. Oh, right. So, they could do all the Man, I had seen this many white people since my trial. Yeah. A bunch of hacky Like when auction auction jokes. Yeah. If Trump becomes president, we will all be that hacky urban comic. We just There'll be so much of bad jokes. Choose you. You want to go on stage early because you you don't want to go on after everybody beats the Trump material into the ground. No. That's so true. That is so true. Your hair stuff, your hair jokes, and your thing. Well, then it's all the crazy he's going to say, all the dumb he's going to do. But, you know, I get the feeling that he doesn't really want to be president. I think I don't think so either. He just likes the attention. He's a bit of a megalomaniac. He likes people talking about him, but it's so okay, let's say he gets elected. I really don't see him doing what's the

142:05motivation. So, he's just going to be in the headlines now and he wants to be referred to as Mr. President. I think that's the president. He's Do you think that once you get in though? I mean, once once he's in there, maybe he's not going to want to let it go though. Maybe he's going to actually try to make a mark, you know, make do some stupid I feel like that his his favorite his perfect scenario, I don't think he would ever want to give up running his businesses. I think he loves it. He loves his lifestyle. I don't think he wants to be tied to the White House. I think his dream scenario is that this is a close race and then he goes like, I basically should have won. This was pretty much rigged and there should be another vote count. Well, he was saying that about the debate. Yeah, he was a rigged deal. Rigged. He he said that about one of the um one

142:52of those uh what's it called during when when there were more candidates in the Republican primaries. He lost one state and like the day or two after he was like I think I won. Like he lost to like Iowa or something he was I think I won that. Yeah. Didn't want to give it. What's he going to even do? Like what does he want? It's just so amazing that he's this close. It's so amazing that he's the nominee. It's so embarrassing for the Republicans. It's embarrassing for all of us. left Columbus where this happened as we were leaving. Uh some random janitor found all these black ballot boxes in a warehouse and they're already filled out for uh a bunch of Franklin County like different places and Hillary Clinton's marked on all of them. What? This just came out yesterday and I was looking at I was like h I don't know how but I'm seeing it on a bunch of news

143:39sites right now. So it's being looked into right now. What what what website is this at? This one is from pamelgiller.com but when I Who's Pamel Geller? I have no idea. I just clicked on the one, the first one I saw, but this is like the local NBC station was reporting it. That's Donald Trump's niece. Snopes reported it. Whoa. It says false, but it's on a bunch of their sites right now, so it might not be true. Yeah, sorry I brought that up. Why would they do it before the election? Origin. See there? Look at this. That'll be weird. Christian Times newspaper, an article reporting tens of thousand. It's fake, dude. How dare you, Jamie? I love how they're all marked ballot box, too, so you know. Yeah. Lest you be confused, Clinton ballot boxes. I know. It's like it's not not only that, like it's not if you look at like some of them the way it was, it looked like they were

144:26photoshopped on cuz it was not like parallel with the box itself. Okay, let's get rid of this J. This is fake. Yeah, but it's happened. I'm sure they've done it before, you know. I'm sure someone has written. You ever see Hacking Democracy? No. Hacking Democracy is great. It's a It was an HBO documentary on those machines, the Diebold machines. Is this the hanging chad? No. No. But that happened. They rigged the machines. The machines were rigged so that they could have a third party enter data. So like not just you, not the person who counts, but a third person who enters data to change change the votes. The machines. Yeah. The machine machines were 100% hackable. Oh my god. And they had designed them to be they designed them to have third party input. And they showed on the in the hacking democracy. The guy got into the thing and changed the vote. He like

145:13changed a vote like demonstrated it to them and then they were sitting there going, "What the fuck?" Like why did And not only that, the guy who made those machines or the company who made those machines was a gigantic supporter of the Republican party. And this is when during the Bush administration. Oh man. Yeah. I mean, they changed their name. The company Diebold, they have this they had to switch their name. They switched their name. They don't They also make ATMs. Oh no. Oh no. just getting people elected, making payments. It's crazy. It's crazy how many high high ranking Republicans uh like renounced their, you know, their cards and and announced that they were done. It's a lot. Oh, here's one I forgot I wanted to bring up. That guy Hassert, I think that's his name, who got convicted. He was some uh big- time judge who got convicted of child

146:06molestation. Oh, old Dennis. Yes. Dennis Hassert, right? Wasn't he a senator or a congressman? What was he sentenced to 15 months? That's it. Oh my gosh. 15 months. That's all you get for that? Yeah. For illegally structuring bank transactions. Scroll it back down, please. illeg illegally structuring bank transactions in an effort to cover up his sexual abuse of young members of the wrestling team that he coached decades ago. Yep. What the How do you only get 15 months for that? How do you How do you He was speaker of the house. Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. He was speaker of the house, right? Yeah. Yeah. How is he old? Oh, he's 74. That might have that might be a part of it. He's so old. Shoot him. He was diddling years ago. Let those kids all line up. Hey, hold on. Go back. Please listen. Read this here. Mr. Passard 74, who made an unlikely rise from beloved small town

147:03wrestling coach in Illinois to speaker of the house in Washington, sat slouched in a wheelchair in a federal courtroom here as judge announced that he would be rejecting please for probation. He's going to play it hard on Mr. Hassert as well as the prosecutor's endorsement of a shorter prison stay. What? Shorter than 15 months. Oh my god. He said, look at the judge said the defendant is a serial child molester. Wow. Wow. Look at this. Some actions can obliterate a lifetime of good works. Nothing is more stunning than having serial child molester and speaker of the house in the same sentence. That was a judge. 15 months is the is the full sentence for it. And he ordered him to pay $250,000 in fines. Even if you paid those kids a,000 bucks every time you them, do you think it was 250 times? No. He got off cheap. You know, uh Joe, I used to be a fan. Yeah. a series of illnesses, including a

148:00stroke, bloodstream infection. So, he's sickly and old, which is, I bet, why they're not giving him the whole thing. So, what? So, what? I think they should cut his balls off uh publicly. He used a walker to rise to his feet, but his stood hard and firm as he recounted the days when he would molest young wrestlers. "As a high school wrestler, I looked up to Coach Hassert. He was a key figure in my life," said Mr. Cross, now 53, and a businessman who works in the financial services in the Chicago area. From a podium just feet from Mr. Hassert's wheelchair, Mr. Cross recalled abuse that occurred on a locker room training table when he was 17. I felt intense pain, shame, and guilt. Holy What a piece of huh? This guy got away with it for so long. So long. Raping little kids. Wow. It's just amazing that that relationship that he had as a speaker of the house allowed him to only get 15

148:58months. Yeah. Should be in jail for life. And he got, by the way, so many the judge received so many letters about what an awesome guy and all the awesome things that he did. Oh my god. Get the out of here. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody was, you know, I mean, high ranking people were like, he's done amazing work. Well, that must mean that he knows something. Oh, right. They must have helped him because he knows something. It must have been one of those things where look, if I go to jail, you're all Yeah. You write that letter. Yeah. Well, who else stands up ever, ever Joe Pno, right? When that whole was going down with Sand Dusty. Even Paterno was like, "Ah, yeah. I don't know." What the Everybody backed away from Sanduski. Nobody stood up for Of course. Of course. Well, wow. Story is breaking right now. I heard on the news this weekend there's a someone a doctor that

149:46used to work for the USA Olympic team and like the gymnast. Yeah. He's been accused of I don't want to like I can tell you what they say. Sexual abuse allegations. Digitally inserting girls to correct their backs with no gloves on and stuff like that. Oh Jesus. He's going in their to correct their back. Yeah, that's what that's what he was saying he was doing. And he did it when you they were like on trips with no uh parents around and whatnot. No. Oh my god. I learned that technique years ago, but I I didn't know that it was Your wife has straight posture. I did notice that. Mhm. The three-digit technique it's called. Yeah. Just threaten with the pinky, right? Yep. Shoulders back. Yep. What the man? Oh my god, dude. That's scary stuff. Mhm. Did you hear about Kim Kardashian getting held up at gunpoint? Like tied up in a tied up and gagged. Yeah. Terrible, man. That is

150:39terrible. That's scary And the guys were dressed up as cops. This is a really, you know, well planned I know, man. Robbery. That's terrifying. $9 million. $9 million in jewelry. They had $9 million in jewelry on them. Jewelry. That's incredible. Yeah. Yeah. I heard that he was performing in the middle of a song. Cut his somebody ran on stage and told him. Yeah. And he said there was a family. Yeah. And took off. You say him, you mean Kanye West? Of course. Yes. Most people don't know. Yeezy talking about is who I was talking about. What the Jesus. How scary that must be. Someone robbing you for Imagine having $9 million of jewelry on YouTube. Yeah. That you flew internationally with. Yeah. You have a dope house on you. Yeah. You know, that's a dope house. And you're flossing it everywhere you go. Yeah. Yeah. 9 million. The amount of money they make. I I read something about her her app.

151:31The amount of money that she makes off some app. It's absurd. It's like $50 million a month or something. Something crazy. Yeah. 50 or 80 million a year is what I saw. Yeah. Well, I might have made up some numbers. Yeah. But that's still an outrageous amount of money. It's incredible for to play a game where you're like, I'm Kim. I'm buying a purse or something. We're talking about talking about she got robbed. Robbed at gunpoint. Paris. Paris seems like a dangerous spot. Yeah. keeps going down in Paris. Yeah. Keeps going down. Charlie Abdo then the nightclub shooting thing. Yeah. Yeah. Nice France. Like France itself. The niece France was the the the truck that drove over all those people. Right. That's right. Then KK got robbed. KK. Okay. All right. Imagine growing up a kid today. These are your These are your heroes. Yeah, but brought in $100 million since the launch. Jesus Christ.

152:18I do think what she went through is absolutely terrifying. That's got to be really, really horrible. 100%. Do you want to um predict what kind of guy Angelina Jolie hooks up with? This is what I think. I think long hair, wooden beads for sure. Probably does yoga, maybe in the Peace Corps. He's going to be really poor and um and doesn't care about money. And um he's like uh he's more of an activist than and doesn't even act, right? But then she's going to dump him after he wants to act cuz once they're together for a while, he's going to get some offers to do some stuff and she's going to want him to go to a basketball game and he doesn't want to do it. Couple public appearances. Yeah, that is really spot on. I think you're I think you're really right here. And someone not in the public eye. Just an unknown guy. Yeah. Like an earthy kind of like raw cotton shirt. Yeah. He sews

153:13his own clothing. You know, that kind of thing. Yeah. He's a professional cuddler. Did you know that there are people that they're called cuddlists and they cuddle you for money? He's that guy. Yeah, I've heard of that. But I don't I can do it. Come here. Can you harden what happens? You got to deal with that. You got to use that bomb. The liability. There's just a lot of Yeah. tickling. And she does fluctuate though. So before Brad didn't wasn't she with Billy Bob Thornton and she used to carry his blood around in a vial on her neck. Do you know how crazy she must be in bed? Oh she she might go weird again cuz Brad seemed real normal, right? But she might go weird again. Yeah. See, she could control that hot guy just the same way she could she could control Billy Bob. She like I like this better. Get the hot one. Look at the two of them together. Yeah. Yeah. He had a beret.

154:04I like the sunglasses. It's not like it's night or anything. Yeah. Keep those on, Billy. For sure. Yeah. Interesting. She's She's eating butthole. For sure. For sure. Everybody's Yeah. Everybody she meets. Yeah. That's how she greets you. Yeah. She got Billy Bob tattooed on her arm, man. Remember that? She was way into that guy. Yeah. He's grabbing her tits right there in front of America. Probably a whole lot of fun. Whole lot of crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Next guy. Yogi. Yeah. Like uh probably wears flip flops a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. But he's got to have some edge to him. That's what's going to excite her, right? He's got to have a little edge. Edge. No, I think she's going to want to control the guy. Plus, there's the kids. There's a lot of kids around. Yeah. He's got to be real into being stepdaddy. She's like, "What do you how you feel about seven kids?"

154:51And he's like, "I like or would the crazier move be to never have a relationship again? Just to dedicate herself to children from now on, just take care of kids." That could be the move that she That might be the move. Yeah. And then she goes JLo style, just gets a bunch of little boys, just them and kicks him out. Get the out of my house, You know, maybe that's the move. If I divorce Tom, I might do that. I mean, why get married again? You can't. He's a love of my life. This would be Wham song. Never going to dance again. Just started playing in my head. Speculation's always fun. Would you go for the young you look pretty young things? The PYTS. No, she would go for big black guys. You think so? You That's what I would say. Wait. Oh, me or Angelina? No, I'm not into the black guys. You would be after Tom. You guys know the one thing. I heard that music

155:49for so many years. I want to give it a shot. And then you try them and then you would like it. You really like it. Wait, walk me through the the logic though. Give me the backtory. Well, that's what Tom's was terrified of is just a football player with a giant hog, right? Yeah. Yeah. But I kind, you know, I kind of fantasize about it, too, you know? Right. Well, that's the poly part. That's our thing. Yeah. I'm kind of I feel like I'm kind of in the room and I'm like, "Go get it. Get it. Get it, man." like kind of like would you want to be in the room like uh in an invisible bubble where they couldn't hear you and you could just yell out and and you could just jerk off freely and or would you would you want them to know you were there and just kind of whimper a little bit? kind of fancy someone could kick him in the balls. The invisible part would be cool. But also

156:34like if I'm like, "Yeah, Trey, like like kind of like like kind of behind him, you know, I just need Trey so perfect." And he's like, "Shut up, white boy." Like he talks some And I'm like, "All right, sorry." He's like, "Does he make you suck his dick? Cuz sometimes they do. Sometimes they make the guy get over here, Suck my dick. I don't want to suck his dick." And then they go back to the girl. But I I want uh cut cuck holding. Is that what Yeah, that's extreme cuck holding with a racial bias. I want to do that. I want to I want to walk up behind like when he's done and you're like, "Oh my god, oh my god." No. He's like And he like he shakes it all. He's like like that. And I'm like he's like I go, "Oh, I guess it's my turn." And then he's like, "Nah, hold on." And then he's like, "Yo, Quan." And then like six guys come in. He's like, "They got to go first." And

157:21then like But then what's the what's the tagline? You know how they need a funny line to wrap up the scene? I love how you you're like shaking a paintbrush and try. Yeah. Yeah. I've been seeing that. I think that move is getting more popular. That's the That's the equivalent of dropping a mic in porn now. They just But then he's like, "And I took your wife or what's the he's got to have a what's the seal to the button to the scene?" Yeah, you're right. That's what they call that that painter that does that. What's that? Jackson Pollock. Jackson Pollock. Yeah. Bob Ross. Yeah. No, Jackson Pollock's the guy that throws the paint all over the place. That's what it would be. The Jackson Pollock that and then he'd be like, "That's my Jackson Pollock." They got the line. They all do it. Plop. And some dudes have yellow kind. Like, whose com is yellow? Not mine. Not mine. What

158:06the He go He He drops like that. He goes, "They could put that in a Getty." And then he walks out of the room. You nailed it. That's the line. They definitely could put it in Lakma. Yeah, that's right. It's probably already in there. Yeah. You know, we saw the Robert Maple Thorp exhibit at the Getty. Yeah. See, piss Christ. You didn't know that? No. But that was I like the way you said that was the the definitive Maple Thorp work was pissed. I was ex and it or guys getting fisted and and None of that was on the walls. And I was so upset. All Yeah. Some some nice portraits, maybe one dick. I saw the exhibit when I was uh living in Boston. That's Piss Christ. He had a crucifix dunked in a a bucket of piss or like a jar like a Yeah. plastic piss Christ. Or glass jar of piss. Yeah. And it it became a huge um thing in the 80s. Really? Yeah. Because people felt like it was blasphemous and

159:01the religious people were super upset because I just I might be wrong, but I feel like he might have gotten some public funding like for his art. I feel like he might have gotten grants or something for his art. Guys, we're in the wrong business. be fun to see my parents have an aneurysm. We could show them that see their heads mom's implode. But you got to understand this was pre- internet. Yeah. Right. I was I I went to his exhibit in like really 80 I want to say the 8080 or ' 89. Boston. Yeah. Really? I want to say it might have been earlier. It might have been 87. It might have been before I did standup. Wow. Okay. He did. Look at that. Oh my god. From the taxpayer funded National Endowment for the Arcs. She received $15,000 for the work and $5,000 in 1986 for Piss Christ. This is a different guy though. Maple Thorps the the gay. Oh, this is Srano's Piss Christ. Oh, you got

159:54Serrano. Dude, there's a different one. Yeah, Maple Thorp's piss Christ. Guys, there's so many piss multiple ones. Maybe it's Srano's Piss Christ. Is Is it Maple Thorp's piss Christrist? Is that the same guy? No. Does it involve balls and And Am I wrong here? Why do I feel like I'm I feel like that was who made it was Maple Thor Piss, right? Piss Christ. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I conflagulated. Did I? Um, did Maple Threp have one, too, or did I make it up? Did he take a picture of it? He could have. I mean, is that it? We'll find out here. He was a photographer. Yeah. Yeah. Photograph. Um, a brief history of Piss Christ. Does Maple Thorp have to do with it? Anything with it? Came up on here. It's in there. There it is. There it is. Okay. Okay. Where's Maple Thor? Oh, it's just that he was also granted money. It looks like a punishment for its role in supporting

160:52the work of an artist. The NEA saw its funding for the next year cut by $45,000 because of that. Oh, okay. Here it goes. uh funds to have given to Serrano who made Piss Christ by the way of an NEA supported SECCCA fellowship and another $30,000 to atone for the sum given in support of a Robert Maple Thorp show at the Philadelphia Institute of Contemporary Art. Okay. So, he didn't do it. It was somebody else. It was Toronto. So, Maple Thorp was just all the the fists and buttholes and stuff. Yeah. But they it really was upsetting that they wouldn't show that stuff like that's what the guy's known for. But don't give me this that we're looking at Patty Smith portraits the whole time. But he did that too, right? Like why why is it why why we have such a hard time with sex? Oh boy. Like that kind of stuff. But not a hard time with violence. Like we were talking about we

161:40were talking about um uh Narcos. Yeah. So violent. So crazy violent, you know, but and it's a lot of sex in that show, too. But we're so it's okay. like we don't we don't have nearly as much like I don't want to give away any spoiler alerts but there was a there's a scene where a kid gets shot. I don't want to say when when it happens but when it happens it's so graphic and I was thinking that is so crazy that they can show that kind of violence like violence an adult versus against a kid but you could never show like actual sex. No. Like do you remember um that Vince Gallow movie? Yeah. Yeah. Brown Bunny. Uh-huh. Where Klo Seven blows him. Yeah. How do you say Seven? I don't up. Isn't that That's not the movie it's in though, right? Brown Bunny. It's Brown Bunny. Sure is. She blows me. He comes in her face. Yeah. What a neat role. Really, really, you know, up her

162:36career. It should. Yeah. It's not a smart move. Well, what is he thinking? I mean, I guess he was making the same argument, right? He was making the argument like, why is it okay to have violence? Why is it okay to have all these aspects of people kissing and grabbing each other's asses, but you can't have actual sex, right? He also just wanted a probably. Probably. I don't know if he maybe Why do you have to look at it that way? But then the irony too is on mainstream like television shows, it's all TNA. Mhm. You know, like, okay, I watched Glee, I told you on Netflix. And it's really just eye candy. It's a bunch of high school girl cheerleader outfits, you know. How about Fox News, right? what they're doing with their legs. The pageantss, they're all just sllicked up and shaved down and scissoring and crossing the legs. Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah. Imagine if men could

163:29read the news in a tank top. If you could be in a tank top and bikini underwear just reading the news, just shredded and shaved down, oiled up, you know, such a great world. Lips, your lips done, big pirate hoop earrings, right? Just letting people know you're ready. They're such a I mean, look, Tom watches these ESPN 4hour after football shows. What are they called? You know, sports sesh or whatever, right? And these guys that are working on these shows, they're basset hounds, man. They're mostly older, unattractive. There's no way a woman would be able to get away with looking like on TV the way these dudes do. But they're football experts, right? Right. That's true. So, I mean, okay, but there's no attractive I mean, but it's not the news. But even on TV show on news though the standards it's true that for for men Oh yeah. Way different. Oh yeah. I mean there's some

164:24there's some real dogs. Yeah. The women can't it's they either have to be really old like Barbara Walters and like a states woman. Yeah. Yes. But what's interesting is like they you have these like really like ridiculously hot women and they're reading the news but they don't have to know about the news. They just have to read over off a teleprompter. The reason why the comparison with the football guys doesn't work because football is one of those things like I don't know about football, but there's some dudes who know everything about football and they can recall games from the 1960s and the play that was used to win Super Bowl 44. And those guys they like that's they essentially too they do what you do in that they can look at a play that took 7 seconds and tell you everything that happened the same way you can tell you know how a guy got beat like and you go well his arm dropped

165:12there that guy saw an opportunity he put him in a choke like you see that fast these guys go oh they watch the play and right away they go well what happened was that linebacker he got he got uh tricked into thinking he he he bit for the fake So he came up, it opened up this guy to run across the middle. Like they do that in two seconds. But they should be hot. You know what I mean? You're right. They should be hot. I can Why can't they be hot? The thing is, look at 60 Minutes. That The guy was practically dead. Is he dead now? But they let him on TV. Morally safer. And Andy Rooney. He's definitely He's dead, too. He couldn't even talk towards the end of his life. And they're letting that guy on TV and they're complaining that Barbara Walters is too old. What are you talking about? This guy can barely get through a sentence. That's true. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. I

165:56mean, he was definitely old and not TV, not camera ready as they would say. Like Diane Sorya, she's like, she's still hanging in there, right? Diane Sawyer is still strong, but that's like another states woman, a woman who's established, respected, very smart. She's not as long as she's of the age where she's unviable. She was though. She was hot. She's beautiful like back in the day, but she never did like Megan Kelly stuff. Like you ever see Megan Kelly from Fox's sexy sexy photo shoots and stuff like Oh, does she do photo shoots? But I think is it Sawyer or one of Leslie Stall? Leslie Stall or Sawyer shirts hanging off her shoulder. I wish you would do a photo spread. Joe, you're good. Thank you. Look at that guy. Look at her ass out. Why do you do that? Look at that. Why? Cuz she's hot as She's hot as the sun. Go to the full body one up there. Up. Left. Left. Left.

166:46Left. If you're a newscaster, she's hot as the sun. That's why she's doing that cuz every guy's like, "I'm a Republican. I just I give up. I give up. Touch me, please." Not even today. I mean, one day. She had a real fun Trump battle. Yeah. But she gave in. She gave in. And Yeah. She had a meeting with Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's not real. The lingerie one's not real, is it? I don't think it's Don't even click on it. Don't give my hopes up. Um, yeah, she she gave in and sat down with him and was like uh they had like a friendly conversation and she was like really forgiving. Well, not just forgiving, but like she backed off like a lot. Like she backed up and it was just I mean, I get it. That's your job, you know, if you want to be the conservative per he's a conservative icon, right? I mean, he's in that. Is that her? Is it? No, that's not her. Who's that? I can see her

167:38nipnip. I don't know. Who's that? That might be another one of them. There's a bunch of them. Megan, that's not her, though. No, that's another unless it was her when she was younger. Nice young lady. It might be her. That might be her when she was younger. Yeah, might be. Entirely possible. Um, but yeah, guys don't do that. Like what what Fox News anchor is going to have his shirt off shaved down and like like laying back like sensual with his mouth open like with a strawberry in his mouth? You know, Anderson wants to though. I wish he wish. See, and here's the thing. And and you can say that and that makes sense, but I'm supposed to be down with like the women's movement that says that that's an expression. That's her expression of her letter and it is. Yes. But again, if you're a professional newscaster, is that really what you want to be presenting? Well, the thing is it

168:26didn't exist. Yeah. What? A hot news cer this uh Yeah. Well, they figured out they can get ratings. Yeah. They could get men to pay attention a lot because words here's the thing about crush the ratings too. Men that are really into politics are almost entirely unfuckable. Yeah. That's why they get really into politics. Usually they're married and they're like, "I'm giving up." And they just they round out and their chin starts dropping and they remember the good old days and they watch that Fox News and they see these they're so hot they try their wife's yelling at them and and they ice queens on Fox News. Those are the women. Yeah, that's funny that they're all the same. It's so funny. Actually, if you go to that image on the bottom left there, those have all been uh women that have done news on on Fox. It's pretty funny. It's amazing. They're robots. It's a robot. It's like it's a

169:16real doll factory. It's pretty funny. They're all super hot. Wow. But I get it. Look, it's a smart move. Makes total sense. They crush the They crush the ratings, man. I don't know if they do anymore. Really? As far as the of of the cable news, I think they're I think they dominate. I feel like somewhere I just read recently that they weren't doing so well anymore. Really? Yeah. I don't think cable news is doing so well anymore. Well, maybe in the grand scheme of things, but within the cable news competition, I think they they dominate. They have Let's find out. They have who who dominates cable news. H cable ratings. Fox beats CNN and MSNBC combined. Wow. The hot chick method, guys. Yeah. Wow. That's the way to do it. Maybe I should be wearing a lingerie during your mom's house. I wonder if that goes up or down depending on who's president. Like I wonder if when you

170:07have a Republican president if CNN gets a bump, right? Because people are pissed. Yeah, that's probably that is probably how it works cuz people Fox News thrives on every Obama story for sure. You know, but does CNN go deep, too. Do they go with the uh scantily clad beautiful ladies as well? No, I don't. They're they're I watch CNN. No, they have pretty ladies. Yeah, they're pretty, but it's not like that. And they have more diversity. They have a couple of bassad hounds, too, but they have like roof. Yeah, roof. They have a couple of cuties. Well, we don't have to go over each one, Jimmy. But the um the thing the thing that's odd about it is that it never existed before and then they once they figured that formula like, "Oh, we got this." Yeah. This is what we do now. It's like the ladies in football, they're reporting from the ground or whatever. Exactly. Super high.

170:54Hey guys, I'm proud of that V game. And among the guys like that like I'm one of the guys. There's some really good ones though. There's some really good reporters. Uh female reporters. Yeah. There is an MMA, too. Yeah, Kramer is great. Um, gender trainers. Trying to think. Uh, there's a there's a few really good ones. People, they got the the hot thing was when uh what's her name? Aaron Andrews. Mhm. She look where it got her. They peeped her. Yeah, they peeped her. Those creeps. They cut a hole in her her her hotel room. Stoked her and like recorded her through the hotel. So gross. up. Really up. God, it sucks being a woman. She knows her though. She does know. She knows her sport. Yeah, she knows football. It is funny though because when not football, but if you think about politics, when I said the most people, guys that are into politics are unfuckable. What I mean by that honestly

171:43is what they're usually like guys who are married and have families and have their dads and they worry about their income. They worry about where their money's going. It's not like a giant subject of the young single man. No. Until Trump came along. Yeah. Trump was like one of the first ones where I noticed like a lot of like young single guys that were really into it. Yeah. What the is that? What happened there? Maybe they grew up with him. Name recognition. He's on that reality show. No, I'm serious. He's on TV. That guy's a reality star. I think it's just that he was so outside of the the the political speak. He was like, "This is ridiculous. keeps happening. got to do something about it. No fat chicks allowed. Do you see him mock her falling down? Yeah, it's great. Yeah. Yeah. So great. It is pretty hilarious. It is. Yeah. Yeah. He even insinuated that she

172:42probably wasn't faithful either. Yeah. Oh boy. Yeah. He's just swinging. That's why that's why he's got the fans. Trump imitates Hillary Clinton for stumbling at 911 memorial. Questions her loyalty to Bill. Oh my god. It's just It's so crazy. The apocalypse. But look at the people behind them clapping. Yeah. Actually, they're holding up cameras. That's a strange thing, man. The device age. Yeah. Everyone with a device in their hand. If you look back at like photos from the 1950s or 60s, like watch the Nixon debates with Kennedy and you look into the audience, people are standing there. You see these people now, everyone has a device. Yeah. Everyone's capturing in their own device. I was there. I know. I saw when he said that. He said that outrageous thing and I captured it. But then you're gonna back up that video you took on a hard drive, right, to preserve it for

173:29the rest of your life. Like, no. You're just gonna delete that. No, no, no, no. You're gonna send it. CNN, you need to see this. CNN needs to see video from the source. Like, every no one know, you never know. You never know when like some Black Lives Matter people might rush the stage and try to take him out. Yeah. Right. Remember that happened? There's a bunch of people are screaming and yelling at one of his uh rallies. Oh, yeah. People got I think on video. Yeah. There's been so many altercations. Yeah. Oh, that's why they're doing it. I got it. Yes. To see if people look without holding something up anymore. What the do you think happens next? That's what we were getting at earlier. Like after these two. Yeah. Like what do you got left? This is the deep end we're in right now. This is the deepest deep end ever. Yeah, for sure. Right. For sure. The only the

174:15only good out of it, and I'm not being patronizing, but the only good out of it, honestly, is we get to see a woman be president. That's it. Yeah. She's like, if she was a man, she would be thought of as like someone deeply entrenched in the system that's been proven to be full of has been proven to be corruption, capitalizing on their position to make ridiculous amounts of money, and there's so much going on there. Yeah. Everything that that you basically criticize about politicians, she would fit the bill for that. I know you guys, the next president's going to be non-binary. What do you think? Could be. Could be. Well, I mean, we got the black guy, we had Obama, and now it's the woman's turn. Um, did you see pansexual? Have you seen pansexual yet? No. Some woman came out as pansexual. She was the first politician to come out as pansexual. See, that's my point. Next is the

175:06pansexual. You're right. It could be like a gender thing. Panexual. What if we have a trans president? I forget pan all right. All sex. the whole house. Oh wow. Mary Gonzalez, T Texas state representative identifies as pansexual in new interview. Can we get a look at her? Look at that. Look at that. She went with the gender binary. Hold on. Look at that right there. Though many might describe Gonzalez's orientation as bisexual, pansexuals don't believe in a gender binary and hence can be attracted to all gender identities. There you go. That's the next prize. Let's get a look at Mary Gonzalez. Nope. Let's not. No. Nope. No pictures. No pictures. You don't want She didn't even say her name. We should have just call her. She Z. We don't know. We don't know what to call they. It just if you could get someone from the 1960s and show them the world that we live in today and the

175:58things that people are upset about and the restroom issues. I feel like I'm that person. Like I feel like I'm 40 years old and I the world is so different than the world I grew up in in the 1980s. I feel like I'm that old person that's like I don't get it. I don't get any of this. You know what the difference is? What in this age? This is the first time where people who are sensitive and open-minded and progressive are going, "What the are you talking about?" Yeah. It's absurdity now. It's gone so far that people who are 100% progay marriage, 100% pro-racial equality, 100% pro-gender equality, all across the board, check off the things. As long as you're not hurting anybody, I'm 100% in you doing whatever you want to do. But it's gone so far that like there's there's just so much nonsense. Yeah, I agree. Meanwhile, there's homelessness, joblessness, like all the real issues,

176:49war, asteroids, cancer, all the that's been around, the human plagues, and and that's not being resolved. North Korea has nukes, right? Yeah. But guys, we can all use the same bathroom. So, yes, we saw we saw that one. It's really important. They're close to nukes, right? Do they have nukes? They have nukes. Just detonated one. Oh, right. That it registered as like an earthquake or something. Yeah, they detonated a nuke. They can do nukes. Great. Homeboy got some swag. How long before they kill him? How are they going to kill him? I don't know. Someone's going to kill him. That mentality doesn't Does it exist over there? Rebellion. I don't know. Well, sometimes I think somebody else does it. But the the question is they kill you. He'll kill you if there's even a murmur. Oh, yeah. Kill his uncle. Kill his uncle right away. He killed his uncle and his uncle's sons. Yeah. So, he killed his

177:34nephews. There's no uprising cousins. Cousins. Yeah. Yeah. He don't around, dude. How crazy is that? I mean, that that's today. I mean, that he's got a whole country like that gripped. But the thing about a guy like that is if you kill them, what happens next? It's like how do you get those people? Like they are so programmed. Well, that's the best part. See, we go there and we open up an Olive Garden and we show them Coca-Cola, McDonald's, and we get to rebuild North Korea. What do you think? I think we let the South Koreans figure it out. Yeah. They just take one in to each house. Yeah. Separate them from their family. Take them in like a dog. man. They're Yeah. Take them in like like someone's got to train someone. Yeah. like you're from another country. Oh to to whatever deprogram them like a cult. Train them like like a puppy. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They don't they don't

178:28you realize that you could be 40 in North Korea come into you know sneak into China or something and you you don't know anything in the this whole world. You're like a 40-year-old infant basically. Yeah. You don't know the rest of the world. You don't know anything. Nothing. But I'm saying then why don't we colonize them like we did the Middle East like Iran cuz they're so volatile. because they have weapons and they're right next to South Korea. Yeah, like we really like South Korea. Yeah, they make Samsung. First on CNN, North Korea may be planning October surprise. What? What is that? Is that today? Oh Jesus. God, what is October surprise? Like to with our elections? Maybe. Oh god. I mean, it's so strange. Yeah. And then you know what what also disturbs me? It's like we're so calm about all the conflict in the rest of the world because there's not really that much

179:22over here. So, we kind of minimalize it and we concentrate on some other nonsense and we, you know, fill our face with sugar. Yeah. And the rest of the world is embroiled in all these battles. Like India and Pakistan are right next to each other and they hate each other and Russia's invading the Ukraine and there's all this crazy that's going on with them and then this Putin's almost getting assassinated and Yeah. And we're like I want a latte, China. Brad Angelina broke up. Yeah. But it's good. We're isolated geographically too a little bit. Need to go to Australia. Mexico. Canada. Yeah. That's isolated. Australia is the move. Yeah. Do we go there? fit right in. You got to learn how to talk different though and drive on the other side of the road. That's really hard. Yeah, they need to fix that. Yeah. In order for us to colonize. Yeah. Why are you guys on that

180:12side? You think we get that stupid? It It is counter. Is there a reason for that? I mean, a logical reason that we don't see as Americans like the metric system. Well, they got it from England and England had it because England is so old that back in the day they used to ride horses. And when you would be like riding, you would want people that were opposing you on your right hand side so you could hack at them with your sword. How the did you know that? That was really impressive. It's not that impressive. It's just You looked up. You just know that one. Yeah, cuz most people were right-handed. Yeah, they're right-handed. So, you'd want to be on the left hand side so you could chop someone's head off with a sword. That's really good that you Yeah, makes sense. Over here, we grew up we realized Yeah. You could just shoot someone. Yeah. You have to chop away with a sword. You tell me back

180:59on the right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They were like pre- arrows. They figured that out. That's pretty nice. They figured out arrows yet. They just had long sharp things. Yeah. They hadn't figured out that you could throw things through the air yet. It's crazy. Back in the jousting days. How about catapults? Oh, those are neat. Yeah. A giant rock and just pull it back and just launch it at people. Jesus. Yeah. You know, we watched some documentary on Saudi Arabia, you know, where they still crucify people. Have you seen that one on Netflix? What's it called? Jeans. I think it's I don't know. It might be called Saudi Arabia. Yeah, I think it is. Yeah, it's up. But they take cameras in and they show you what's up and people getting crucified. You saw it? Yeah, we watched it. They show you. But you saw You saw the people getting crucified. Yeah. They hang them up.

181:46Yeah. You see um uh they they they censor stuff, but a guy is about to get decapitated and they blur. Oh jeez. You know, a guy with a sword just chops his head off. Isn't that It's weird that we're like there's certain parts of those images we don't want people to see because we know they're too disturbing. It's Yeah. Yeah. Do you ever see those ISIS videos that they don't catch on YouTube? They'll be up for like a couple days before someone catches it. And I haven't looked in a while, man. I don't like seeing it. I don't like seeing the real decapitations or murders. That's disturbing as to me. Why? Yeah. I saw I saw a few years ago. I didn't like it. So horrible. Guy did it with a small knife. Cut this guy's head off with a small knife. I was like, "Oh, whoa." Yeah. But that stays in your head, you know? That's why I don't like it. Yeah. You don't need to. Well,

182:31that's why they want to do it in the first place. Yeah. Yeah. Just what a strange strange thing we are people drawing and quartering. Did you ever hear I mean, you know, it goes into that one. That's kind of creepy, too. mean. It's where they they tie every your arms and your legs, right? They tie them to a horse, one horse per limb. And uh I don't they cut your intestines. They cut your stomach so your intestines are open and then they send the horses off in all directions. There it is. And then you get ripped limb by limb. And your intestines get cut out. Wow. Isn't that amazing? Yeah. And there's a guy in the middle with a axe or a big sword just cutting you open while the horses pull you. Holy And this is how they would publicly um you know people this is a criminal. So they're they're showing the masses this is going to happen to you if you steal. Yeah. There

183:25was um this thing I was listening to the other day about the Inquisition. It was fascinating, man. And it was talking about how everything had gotten so crazy that they would try they could but through any means they would try to elicit a confession out of you that you had done something that was blasphemous or done something against the Lord. And they could torture you in order to do that. they could tort you in order to get that confession out of you. And they just started torturing people just like everybody was guilty and they were just killing people like crazy. Jesus. And just listening to the accounts of like how it all went wrong and how they started doing this. It was like wow. Like you could see we want to think that in today's day and age that this could never happen. Like we're past that, you know, we just too much we have too much information. We we're too evolved. We're

184:13too our culture and our civilizations move far too fast. But there's spots on Earth where it hasn't. Like North Korea, you know, like there's spots on Earth where it hasn't moved past that. Like Saudi Arabia what you're talking about. No, it still goes. Well, we still punish people. We still kill people. We just do it behind closed doors in the United States. We make it more dignified dignified. We're still murdering. Yeah. And if you've robbed somebody, we make you a slave, right? You're a slave now, right? It's just dignified because it's it's in a building that's clean and Yeah. We don't see it. You don't have to see it. So, it doesn't exist, right? It's still horrific though. We're savages. We're just We like to think because we can send a video through the sky and it arrives on your phone, you know, from 50 miles away. We'd like to think that we're way more

184:59advanced than we really are. Yeah. Yeah. We're so close to monkeys. We're so goddamn close. Oh, yeah. I know. And you know, we're on the verge of death all the time. I had this girl write to me. She works separate like all these jobs around the country, around the world to make money, like job to job. and she goes, "I worked in um what is it? Yellowstone National Park." She goes, "Yeah, yesterday somebody fell into a geyser and just disintegrated." Another person just fell off a cliff. They died. She goes, "Life is so fragile." Yeah. That guy got drunk, though, and went a hundred yards off the trail and slipped into one of those puddles. And they they were like, "Dude, there ain't nothing left." Like, that's lava and boiling water. Like, happens. Think about how close that dude was to dying today. That the guy with the bear. Oh yeah. Poof. Yeah. And people are

185:46like, "We have to save the bear. This is really important. We keep him around to kill more people. Maybe he shouldn't have been around the bear and his babies." Oh my god. Mama bear protects her babies. Is there Is there a a bear problem? Do we have like a a big bear problem? There's an issue with grizzly bears in the greater Yellowstone ecosystem that a lot of people think that there are too many bears and they want them declassified. The environmentalists disagree and they say that the bears were brought to the brink of extinction and only through diligent work have they been brought back to the position where they're at now where they're thriving. The problem is it's super hard to accurately estimate how many bears there are. It's it's but you see a lot of them and the people that are out there all the time, the hikers, the sportsmen, meaning the hunters and the fishermen, they see a

186:31lot of them and they're seeing more of them than ever before. And they're seeing actually less black bears and more grizzly bears, which is it used to be the opposite. It's um it's a crazy animal, man. We have I mean, and brown bears are like the real right? Aren't they even bigger? They're super aggressive. Yeah, they're super super super aggressive sometimes. Sometimes they don't give a Like there's this area, it's a really fascinating spot where there's this um this river that runs through Alaska and it's uh an incredibly common place to see grizzly bears to the point where there's a video of it where there's like Jamie, how many bears were in it? Like 15 bears. There's like 15 grizzly bears in this one area cuz there's so many salmon. So much salmon. And uh these people are standing around filming these grizzly bears because there's so much food for the bears. The bears never kill

187:21people. And it's like one of the safest places to observe bears in Alaska. Yeah. They've never had like a a fatal incident there. Like bears wander up to people. There's one video of this bear. This guy's like sitting there in a lawn chair looking over at all these um Yeah, that's what it is. The guy's looking over at all these uh bears eating fish and he's sitting in a lawn chair and this bear walks up to him. It is a tanker. I mean, it's gigantic and it just wanders up and it's so full and it's just been eating salmon that it's not a threat at all. It doesn't want to hurt anything. just lays down. Yeah. They're not like like some animals will you up just for fun. Like some wolves will up like elk and things like that just for fun. They call it they call it surplus killing or thrill killing. Look at this video. Go full screen on this. This guy's sitting here.

188:06Look at this thing. This thing just walks up to him. I mean he that's his launch here, dude. I mean what to show you how close the guy is. You'll see it because the bear moves towards him then he has to start talking to it. But this thing is huge. Yeah. I mean, it's 1,000 lb. It's enorm. The size of its head. But watch when it gets close to him. That's when you realize how big it actually is. And the guy has to actually talk to this thing to let him know. Yeah. Watch this. Here it comes. Right here. And this is a river. And that river right there is just overwhelmed. At the end of the video, you get to see what's the name of this video, Jimmy? Bear sits next to guy. Bear sits next to guy. But you can look up Brooks Falls and all this see it see pictures and stuff. It just sits down and it gets up. Oh my god, dude. If you uh go a little further on, it gets up

188:58and the guy has to tell it. Yeah, there he goes. Guy has to tell it to off cuz it gets too close to him. Yeah. So it looks at him and they start Look at this big Wow. He says, "Hey, hey." And it wanders off. But now watch when he turns towards the river. Now look at this. Look at all the bears. Look at all the I wish you would have kept the camera on that. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Look like try to pause it when I do pause it like when it goes a little bit further. Boom. So this guy was Well, he's a photographer. You see his his gear there? So this is the spot where everybody goes to take pictures of these bears because there's so much salmon. That's all they eat. Oh my gosh. I guess when bears get into one kind of food, like they say the bears are also they're safe to be around when there's a lot of berries because they just say, "Oh, I'm just eating berries." Right? They're not

189:47into you. Well, they're real omnivores. Like they're not necessarily carnivores. They'll they'll they'll just snack on yummy food. And if you're the yummy food, then that's your ass. That that So they eat uh they eat plants as omnivore. That must be a ton of plants to sustain a,000 lb body. They eat everything. Holy moly. I mean, they're cleanup crew. They're the cleanup crew for the woods. Is that right? Yeah. If anything dies, like uh they they'll fight off wolves. Like wolves will kill um like an elk or something like that. And the bear like, "Yeah, thanks, dude. I'll just take that shit." They just wander up to the carcass and just start eating. Yeah. The wolves tough wolf. They can't do a goddamn thing. Of course not. Cuz it's like a 10 times the size wolf. I mean, that's really what a what a bear is like. Nothing can take down a bear, right? In nature. No humans. It's the

190:32king. Only humans. I mean, when humans weren't, they actually think there was a thing called the short-faced bear that dominated the bearing straight so powerfully. It was so, it was such a dangerous animal, they think it might have prevented people from immigrating to North America like by like thousands of years. Because this thing was so dominant that it is this huge aggressive grizzly bear type creature that lived during the ice age and it was so dangerous that it kept people from this speculation but look at the size of the goddamn thing. That's the shortfaced bear. Like even bigger than a goddamn grizzly. That's so crazy. Yeah, it's so crazy. Like look at that picture of that fake one right there. Like that's what it would have looked like. Oh my god. It's a death machine. This is a shortfaced bear, Tom. This is a a bear that went extinct. That was way bigger

191:21than a grizzly. I mean, it was so big. It was like the Hulk. If the Hulk was a bear. So crazy, dude. Yeah. That that used to be a real thing in North America. And uh they think, Tom, I was saying that they think that that thing, look at it. It was bigger than a buffalo. Those thing would take out buffaloos. They think that they were fearsome predators and they may have prevented people from immigrating to North America earlier. What is that thing? What? Done. Diodone. Diodone. Jesus Christ. Look at that Oh my god. That's a real thing. What the hell was that, man? Diodon. Terrible. What the teeth on that thing? Good lord. But it's just I mean it's kind I I'm so torn on these kind of things because I think it's cool that grizzly bears are alive. Yeah. It's cool that you can go see them. Yeah. But not if you're that dude that got up today. Short face. Oh my god. Have you

192:18hunted a bear? Yeah, black bears. Black bears. Yeah. Is that like why Montana? They don't really eat brown bears or you can, but most people don't because they eat a lot of carcasses. So, apparently they taste bad. But black bears don't. Black bears taste good. They eat more um more plants. They eat They still eat carcasses. They still kill things. They they do a lot of cannibalism. That's the the big issue with black bears. A lot of cannibis. They're such animals. They are animals. No, I mean, you know, I don't mean that as like a corny joke, but yeah, it's males killing babies. That's Oh, boy. Lions do that. Yeah, but lions don't eat them. Oh, they just kill them. Yeah, they kill them to keep them from growing up and becoming the male competitors. But they don't think bears do that. They think bears are doing it actually cuz they're hungry. Oh my gosh. And also

193:09because they think it might be able to bring the women back into estrus. Yeah, but that's speculation. But yeah, there's polar bears. Look at that. Polar bears are they're 100% cannibals. Oh my god. Especially the males. Yeah, there's uh I watched Well, their ecosystem is basically shrinking, right? I mean, yeah, supposedly. But you know what they say? I mean, it's hard to tell who's right because uh the wildlife biologists and the people who measure bear numbers versus the people who are like animal conservationists and animal rights activists, they disagree on how many polar bears there are and whether or not they're healthy populations. Cuz I've read that there's more polar bears today than ever. That polar bears. Yeah. That doesn't make sense, right? That doesn't sound right. No. See if that's true. Jamie, this is poor Jamie. This is the Jamie Google show. Yeah. Is that Is that time

194:02right? Yeah. You guys going to get out of there? Yeah. We're going to lose our nanny. Oh snap. What time is it? It's 5 a.m. We've been going on forever. Oh my gosh. That flew by, dude. We covered a lot of We jammed. We covered everything. I learned some things. I learned about the guy who is the uh the financial guy who doesn't give a Dan Pñena. What else did we learn? We learned about our proper pronouns, how to use them. We did. We learned about that guy who has all the secrets, who kids, right? We did 15 months. He's a speaker of the house. Old old speaker Dennis Hast. Yeah. What else? We learned about uh Oh, bear talk. I feel like we have to have a format to this. DJ Dad Mouth. Oh, be jerking off to the black guys my wife, right? That was important. That was important. That was important. Uh, where are you guys at? What's the uh what's the next comedy dates you guys

194:54got going on? Tom, I know you're killing it. I know you sold out the Trokadero. Three shows in a row. Yeah, we added a fourth in Philly. Yeah, we added a fourth. That's amazing, dude. That's amazing. Congratulations, man. That's so awesome. I'm excited. I got um I got a I just added I'm doing Ontario Thursday and we sold it out so we added a another one there. Damn. And then I'm doing Cobbs coming up. Um and I'm doing Carolines. Dude, you're you're doing so many big theaters. I got I I start my theater tour in January, but it hasn't gone on sale yet. It's amazing, man. Really excited about that. It's so cool. Like when I met you, you'd only been doing comedy like a few years, right? I met you in ' 07, so I was 5 years in. Yeah. Was it 07 or was it 06? I think it was 07. Pretty sure it was during the the Maxim Budlight Real Men of Comedy Tour. Yeah. In Phoenix. We met at the

195:46Hollywood Celebrity Theater. Yeah. Theater in the Round. Yeah. That was awesome. Yeah, it was. Yeah. It's just so cool now to see you're you're killing it, man. It's awesome. Thanks, man. Those Netflix specials, man. Woo. Yeah, they really really give you a bump. Jeez. But it's just Well, also you're really funny. Christina, we need to get one for you. It's Trust me, it's in the making. It's happening. We'll see. We'll see. She's um she's doing this the the the model I did basically like a year or two ago where she's going out and doing one night, which I think is Yes. Like so she did Helium Portland one night last week, sold out. Yeah. And then Seattle one night. Well, your podcast is so funny. You guys have one of the best podcast ever. It's so fun to do, too. It's so I mean, I've only did it once, but it was just such a giggle fest. Well, you have to

196:37come when we have our new studio. Yeah, I'll be happy to. And we give I always I get asked about it a lot, interviews and everything. I always give credit to you because I remember you being like, why aren't you doing one? And I was like, I don't know. And then you saw her and you go, "Your wife is legitimately funny. Don't you think you guys could just sit there and do one?" I'm like, "I don't know." And I told her and she was like, "I don't know." And then now that's all we do. It's just the two of us, you know, we play some clips, we talk about what's going on, and it's grown so much in in the few, you know, we've been doing it now since 20 the end of 2010 is when we started. It's crazy. Wow. That it's been six years, man. Like six years of of that show. Yeah. I'm at almost seven. I'll be seven in December. I remember I remember watching or reading

197:22something and I realized I did one of your first 10. Yeah. Oh my god. You sat on a couch. Yeah. In my office. Ari Shafir sold that couch. Really? Yeah, I gave it to Ari. We sat on the couch. Maybe gave it to somebody. It was like a eBay thing and donation money. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. I just keep remember you telling me to like sit up on the mic cuz I was like sitting back. Oh, yeah. Well, there were there were couches and a mic stand sucked. So, you had to like uncomfortably lean forward on a couch. Tommy, talk in the mic. Yeah. Well, we I don't think we had headphones back then. If we did, we didn't. Maybe we did. I thought you were bananas, too, doing this thing. I remember like what's a podcast? What are you talking about? How ridiculous. No headphones. There you go. Look at Yeah. God, you guys. I don't know what the possessed me to keep doing this. Welcome to uh Wow.

198:15week 20 of the uh Ustream podcast. This is just a later one. Yeah. Week 20. Oh my gosh. Hilarious, man. What made you I never asked you that. What made like did did you do one or see one where you're like I I gotta do that? It was a bunch of One of them was doing the Opie and Anthony show because Opie and Anthony show was just like a hangout, right? It wasn't like for it was it didn't have a formula to it. Yeah. It didn't have a format necessarily. You would come in and a bunch of comics would come in, they all just start talking and it would be hilarious. It would be like a bunch of people that knew everybody and we all sit around and just joke around. It was really fun. It was a fun hang. Yeah. Then Anthony Kumia started doing this thing called live from the compound where he put up a green screen in his basement. He had a a whole like professional desk and professional

198:59cameras and he's just a maniac and he would do karaoke holding a machine gun and he would have a background the background would be like Manhattan. He would like change the back and I was like that would be an amazing thing to have. And so when he was doing live from the compound he was doing it on one of those streaming services. So then we started doing the thing me and Redban on uh Ustream just I I started one day well we started doing it on we do it in green rooms first. It was even preyoutube or pre uh Ustream like we did it in COBS remember we did it in Cobs and Joey yelled at us and turn told us to shut it off. Yeah that thing off you and your blueberries. Yeah. Yeah. He didn't even have a phone back then. Yeah. Yeah. He told us to shut it off and that's how it started. We just started doing it that way and then it was fun. So we started doing it every week and then um

199:47somewhere along the line I just realized it was this way that I could have these uh crazy conversations with all these interesting people and I could get them once I they realized there was a certain number of people that were listening. I could get people to come in and sit down and talk to me. Do you remember like early early first five what kind of how many people were listening to something like your show? I never looked. You never looked? No. Just put it up and go. Yeah. I never paid. I just, you know, there was like every now and then you'd look over the live thing. It was like 1,200 people be watching live. It It was a good a good show. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes it was only like 500 or 600. But um Yeah. But once I had like I had like uh Anthony Bourdain on and I had, you know, I had a bunch of people like that. I was like, I can talk to some cool people through this

200:32thing. Yeah. And then it's just like, man, I want to know more about Egypt. Let me get John Anthony West on. Hey, I want to know more about asteroids. Let me get Randall Carlson. This has really become just all your interests. Yeah. Yeah. And then Graham Hancock. Graham Hancock was a big one. That was the early days when I was doing it in my in my house and he, you know, he came over my house and we talked to like 3:00 in the morning with long ass podcast. What's your biggest get personally for the show? The I don't know, man. It's a good question. I don't know. There's no biggest anymore. Russell Brand was pretty big. That was pretty interesting. He's a fun guy, man. Yeah. But so's Arty Lang. So's you. I love having you on. Yeah. It's like now it becomes like just fun, you know? Now it becomes like like Joey or Bill Burr or Duncan or it just becomes stomach was

201:17cut open in front of the tenderloin. There's so much blood. What? I got to make a right. It just becomes fun, right? I mean, don't you guys feel like that? Just It's my favorite thing that we do. It's the best. Do you like it more than stand up itself? No. Excuse me. Standup's always number one, but the podcast, especially since we've become parents, it's the one thing that it's the old world. It's who we were before. It's still juvenile and it's this sealed hour and a half of just nonsense and then we can go back to being responsible adults. It is. That's true. That is a good way of putting it cuz it is. It's very juvenile and silly, but that's why we have a good time just being silly on it, you know. Yeah. Yeah. That's the That's the big takeaway from your podcast is how silly it is. Yeah, you guys are just always like laughing. It's the least serious thing ever. You know,

202:06there are no serious conversations. I love Black or Tom, too. That's a good one. I need to do that again. We Well, the thing is about the move is that the studio is much bigger like actual space. So, we'll have I think some guests again because we haven't had guests in a long time now. Well, you could also you could add a bunch of elements to it, too. But once you realize you have all this room to do stuff and you hm you have like an actual professional studio. Yeah, I know. It's exciting. It's going to be awesome. Yeah, it's really Well, when you guys do it out here, be happy to do it. Oh, yeah. We'll have some fun. Lots of fun. So, for now, people can see your podcast. Uh, it's your mom's house. It's on iTunes. You guys on Stitcher? On Stitcher. On Stitcher. On YouTube. Christina P on Twitter. Yes. Thousand. She still hasn't changed her name to Sigura. a pure disrespect. How dare you?

202:55Hey, can I plug the dates? you. Yeah. So, tomorrow night I'm in Dallas at Hyenas and then uh October 5th, Houston at the Secret Group. Sh warehouse, right? Warehouse. They changed the warehouse line, I think. What's that? That's the the the secret group. That's a a group of promoters. They actually have a venue, I think, called that in Houston. Yeah. And then but the secret group also promotes produces shows. So like, oh, Secret Group could bring you. So Secret Group is going to have her at Warehouse Live. Where else? That's that's the venue. Oh, okay. So it's not like I was wondering if like it was like a they just put on a show somewhere. It's a secret. You have to find out where the show is. Secret like someone really funny is coming to town, but you got to find out where that would be super annoying for people. Annoying. Oh my god. Okay. October 23rd, Indie. And then the 24th,

203:43Cincinnati. Tickets are at Thousand Ranch. Thank you. And how do people find it? What's the website? Thousandranch.com. your website. Oh, how the is anybody going to know what that means? Tickets are a thousand ranch. They're world. Well, my favorite salad dressings together. That's why. Don't tell Joey. Don't tell Joey you like ranch. What? Ranch smells like feet. Blue cheese or go your mother. Blue cheese with wings or go your mother. Blue cheese is nasty. Uh Tom Seagura website. Tommagura.com. Sigura Tom on Instagram. Sigura Tom on Instagram. Tom Sigura on Twitter. Right. That's right. You got to get Sigura Tom. Look what I'm gonna put on right now for my trip tomorrow. Tom Siger on Instagram is a British kid. Nice kid. He's like 18. Give him the money. Girlfriend. Give him the money. Yeah. I can't wait to travel with this thing. Powerful higherprime.com. Fanny pack. They're the

204:31best, right? I love it. Shout out to Dice play. That's nice. Turning on to the roots fanny packs. Oh. Oh. All right, folks. Thanks. Appreciate it. Love you. See you. Bye. Next show.