Ceara Lynch
Guests: Ceara Lynch
Full transcript · Read the full conversation in order, with its original context.
§01Transcript · 00:00
Yeehaw! We're live. So, Ciara. Am I saying it right? Ciara, right? Ciara. Ciara? Yeah. Okay. It's like Chandra Chandra, right? Ciara. If you had to describe your occupation to someone, how would you describe it? In one word, I would say humiliatrix. See, this is what I learned about you from my friend Chris Ryan. He told me, you've got to get this girl on. You've got to talk to her. And then I went to your Twitter page. And your Twitter page is filled with some hilarious stuff. Like one of them is about you sending poop through the mail. And then it was like one of the only times the post office opened up your box. They tried to. I asked them not to and they respected that. Why did they want to open up your box anyway? Well, I put it in a box of a very expensive camera that I had. And so when they asked me, like, what is this? I was like, oh, it's the camera.
And so like, well, how much was it? And it's like, well, I got $900. And so they're like, oh, we'll have to repackage this. And then she's like getting her like knife ready or razor ready to open it up. And I'm like, oh, no, it's fine. You can just leave it as is. And she's like, well, if it gets broken, it's your responsibility and all this. And I'm like, it's fine. It's okay. And there was more than just poo in there. There was like piss. There was toenail clippings. There was a vial of my spit. This guy had a whole value package from me. How the fuck did you get started in this business? You seem like a fairly normal person. Granted, I've only met you for a very short amount of time, but you seem completely normal. It's a really good story. I was 17 years old at the time, and I was traveling abroad. I was actually an exchange student in Japan. And I was really lonely.
I stayed with a host family, and I didn't know any Japanese. and I didn't know anyone that spoke English. And so I was online just all the time. Like, you know, I mean, this was kind of before MySpace or Facebook or anything like that. But I'd go to different like social networking sites and talk to people. And one day this guy starts talking to me and he's a total pervert. He's like into getting peed on and he really has a thing for like pantyhose. And so he strikes up a conversation with me because he just thinks I'm very attractive and all this. and I was kind of like grossed out by him but intrigued at the same time you know and so I was like okay you know it's I'm talking to a guy online he can't do anything to me so I kept the you know lines of communication open and we'd talk here and there and and he always tried to um convince me to
meet him he really wanted me to pee on him and stuff like that and I was like no I'm not gonna do that I'm not gonna do that and I kept turning him down and then uh one day he's like all right he's like I get it you're not gonna meet me but I just I think your piss should be bottled and sold and I was like I was like all right buy it then like I didn't think he was serious I was like this guy's full of shit but I was like fine buy it and uh and he did he bought a 12 ounce like bottle just like this um of my urine for 250 dollars and after that did you specify the ounces that it had to be uh I don't think so no I think just a bottle is what we said just a bottle yeah And yeah, from there I was like, oh, there has to be more guys like this. This guy found me on accident. This was just a mistake. What would happen if I went looking for guys like this? Like if you promoted it?
Yeah, or kind of sought it out. So I was like, okay, I've heard of women selling their used panties before. I know that's a thing. And so I started searching to see if there was a website that I could be on or something that catered to that. And I did. I found this auction site that's just like eBay, but it specializes in like use panties or socks or pantyhose or anything like a woman can wear can auction on this site. And so I was like, oh, yeah, this is it. I'm doing this. And I started selling all sorts of stuff. And I've sold anything you can imagine. I've sold like my shit, my piss, tampons, like hair from my hairbrush, my bathroom trash. What is like hair from your hairbrush go for? How much can you sell that for? um I've only sold it once I think I sold for like 100 bucks versus like a good log
well the thing about my shit is it's kind of an interesting story so when I first started a guy wanted to buy my shit and I was like yeah I just want to do this because I think it's a well I mean obviously the money but I think it's an interesting story and so this guy bought my shit for like a hundred dollars and after that I knew there you know I'm like I'm just gonna sell my panties. It was kind of gross. I don't want to like always sell my shit. Um, anyways, um, fast forward to this year and meanwhile, guys have always asked to buy my shit, but I'm just like, I always gave them just the most large absurd number, like price wise. And they'd always be like, what the fuck now? And it didn't matter to me cause I was making money otherwise. Um, but someone took me up on my offer recently, um, for $4,000 to buy my shit. And he's since bought
it um two other times this year so I've made a grand total of twelve thousand dollars off my shit now do you pay taxes on this should you be telling should be saying this okay so what do you what do you like list under occupation um I have a really good accountant that kind of takes care of all that shit slinger well most of my money comes from like I I make fetish videos and stuff like that so like video producer this is just ice cream and just whipped cream rather for lack of a better term yeah cherry on top whatever so so you started from this one guy essentially this one guy sort of fueled your imagination yeah yeah so I started selling tangible things and then from there I figured out how to open up um like my own phone lines where I get paid per minute like like a phone sex operator but I wasn't like talking sexy to guys I kept getting
fetish guys that were really submissive and just wanted me to berate them and talk shit to them and so did you seek these guys out or did they um it just kind of was the path that I ended up taking because I I just I started out doing this fetishy thing and so um so that's just kind of was it because of like your attitude towards people that wanted to buy your shit your panties like you fucking losers here it is was it that or like no I think I I I think naturally guys that want to buy that sort of thing or like want that kind of treatment so I would get guys wanting me to treat them that way just like you know I'm such a lowly loser and I want to be your pathetic little toilet mistress and that sort of thing yeah wow yeah and then it was like when I knew I could go about the sex industry in this way I was like oh I want to do it I want to do that because I mean
I tell people what I do for a living I'm pretty open and honest about it and for the most part people think it's really cool like so and I think I don't think I would get the same response if I were a stripper or something like that which I don't think there's anything wrong with being a but a lot of people do and there's a lot of stigma associated with it so it's like I kind of found this weird loophole in the sex industry where right because it's so odd and because you seem to be in control yeah yeah exactly that kind of makes sense yeah but wow this it's this is a gig where do you have an exit strategy like do you do you look at the future and go I'll fucking shit in buckets forever I'm good I shit every day I sell my shit as long as I keep friends with these assholes we got 12 grand a year easy yeah well I mean one guy I'll do it I always said I'll do it
as as long as it makes sense to do it which is kind of you know open-ended right but I try and be smart with my money you know I I own a couple houses back in portland and you know I paid for my education and that sort of thing so I just I try and save as much as possible because I don't think I'm gonna be making as much money as I do now the rest of my life yeah well there's probably going to be a drop off when you hit like 60 60 year old shit's not worth what 28 year old shit is that gilf shit gilf there's something about gilf is just milf is still like hot but gilf is like maybe you should leave her alone so do you do you have like a thought process as far as like you know like okay what is my is that all you do do you have like another gig no that's it this has been my only job for over 10 years now oh my god yeah whoa it would be so hard for you to work like a regular job. I know.
§02Transcript · 08:32
Especially to make, think about like how much you can make by shitting into a Tupperware container. Yeah. And now think about like how long you would have to work in an office to make four grand. Yeah, like a few months. A month at least, right? Like a good office job is 50 grand a year, right? Right. That's a good office job. Yeah, that's a good living. Yeah. That's a thousand bucks a week but you got to pay taxes. Right. So the taxes chop it away so to actually get four grand. Yeah. Oh my God. I think about that a lot because I'm very spoiled and I realize that. That's a stripper issue too, right? It's always a stripper issue. Or like athlete issue. Anything where you're making a lot of money in a short amount of time. Yeah, especially athletes. When it's over, it's fucking over. It's like these Allen Iverson characters that make hundreds of millions of dollars
and just eat through all of it and just never plan on it ending or having some sort of a strategy to continue it. Yeah. So you're just going to just ride that bitch right into the rocks. Yeah, that's pretty much the plan. Keep the throttle pegged. I mean, it hasn't gone down. I continue to make more money every year. Well, you're still young and pretty. Yeah, exactly. How old are you now? I'm 29. Yeah, so you've got a solid 10 years before it starts getting really weird. Yeah. You know, when you're like 40 and you're still shitting into buckets, People are going to be like, hey, maybe you should not do that. Or who knows? Why not? Why not? Just fucking keep doing it. If you're doing it now. If you enjoy doing it now. Yeah. It's great. Then why stop? What am I talking about? Why don't I just shut the fuck up? Yeah, shut up. I'm just thinking about your demise.
Why should I concentrate on terrible aspects of your job? It's hard not to. It's just so strange. It's all kind of terrible. Well, it's strange, but it's also like, this is not normally like an interview that I would pursue. But Chris kept insisting that you were like really intelligent and interesting. And you're like, he's like, she's got a very unique take on it. Like, it's not just that she's doing this, but she's just like a normal person that, well, this is better than working as a waitress. Yeah. This is better. Oh, it's great. I mean, I work for myself. And so, you know, I make my own hours and travel a lot. I'm actually traveling. I'm taking off to Southeast Asia after a few days in L.A. What do you do in Asia? shit on people? Do you have a guy there waiting? No. I'm just backpacking. Just traveling. Oh, okay. So you're just doing that for non-work?
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Now, while you're there, do you work? Do you have, like, if you have an internet connection? What I do is because my bread and butter right now are my videos, I just shot a ton, like, kind of October and September and all that. I just shot a bunch. So I'm all set up through February with my videos and they just automatically... Oh, so you banked them. Yeah, exactly. Okay. And so how often do you release videos? Like five days a week. And when you do them, do you do them specifically for individuals or do you do them for the public? Like what do you do? Kind of both. A lot of them are custom videos. So guys will, you know, send me their fantasy and, you know, I'll charge them and make the video. And then I also release that to the public as well. So like what's a typical fantasy that a guy will call you up? hi my name is Doug I'm a fucking loser
do me a favor make a video about how you want to piss in my mouth how does that work god there are so many I'll touch on a more recent one I had this guy he's bought for me pretty regularly and all of his fantasies involve being in the dungeon and male chastity have you seen male chastity devices no I'm not sure if I want to it's basically like a cock cage and um don't like those words together yeah cage so you put your dick in this little cage and you put like a little padlock on it to lock them up and then like you know the woman the dominatrix or whatever will wear the key and it's all about just kind of teasing this guy who can't touch himself or get hard really yeah there we go okay so what we're looking at for people who are listening to this if you would describe it you would describe it as There's a couple different kinds. Some metal ones, some plastic ones.
Some of them spikes inside. Do they to hurt the dick? Yeah, they start swelling up. So if they get aroused, it's painful for them. Do they take it off and they're bleeding and stuff? Well, I mean, it depends. If the woman has the key to it, she decides when to unlock it, basically. So do you do only videos or do you do one-on-ones with these guys? No, I don't meet anyone in person. It's all online. And all my videos I should specify are like point of view. So I'm talking to the camera. So the guy feels like I'm talking to him. So like this video, I'm describing this guy. He has this fetish for chastity. So I have one with these little devices. And I'll unlock it. And I'll show it to the camera. And I'll kind of move my hand in pretending I'm putting it on him. And then I lock him up. And then I like tease him. Jamie, scroll up to the upper right-hand corner. Upper right, above that.
Right above that. Right above that. What the fuck is that? Oh, that looks like it goes in your ass. Yes. This is a giant Christmas tree looking thing that goes in your ass. And it's connected to one of those cock holsters. Oh, my God. Yeah, it looks like it must strap you in there. You can't get it off. Yeah, you've got this pole in your ass. And then your dick is locked up in a cage. Wonderful. What a great idea. This is ridiculous. Yeah, so this one specific. Oh, that's so cool. I like that. You like that? I don't know. It's different. That looks like it's for a girl. Yeah, it looks like female chastity. And so this is like there's a whole fetish that goes along with this, right? Yeah. The woman being in control. Right. And kind of decides like when the man can be released. So how do you do that in a video, though, if the guy's nowhere near you?
So like I said, I'll be looking at the camera and I'm talking to the camera. So I'm talking directly to the slave. and I'll take the little chastity vice and I'll kind of like go into the camera pretending I'm putting it on him and then from there it's mostly just kind of like a tease show where I rub my boobs together and talk all seductively so the viewer is watching it as though I'm seducing them the video I'm thinking of in particular is pretty morbid so his fantasy is in this dungeon and I lock him up and I have this nurse outfit and I'm his nurse and I talk about how I'm going to train him to serve me orally. But what I do, so he can do this. God, what was it? I had to, at first, remove all his teeth because I didn't want any teeth on my pussy. So you banged his teeth out? Yeah, or I'm just talking about it. So he wanted me to talk about taking all his teeth out. He wanted this.
This is his suggestion. That's what he jerks off to. I don't know if he's probably not in real life. And he wanted a couple clamps in his ears to be steered, you know. And then he wanted me to tell him that his vocal cords would be removed because I didn't want to hear him complaining. Whoa. Yeah. This guy fucking hates himself. Well, it's funny because he was like, could you do it in a very sweet sort of way? He didn't want me to be a real mean mistress. He wanted me to be the kind of juxtaposition of like, oh, I'm really sweet, but I'm doing all these terrible things too. Whoa. Yeah. Now, do you find that there's a stereotypical occupation or a type of guy who wants this sort of treatment? I think I see where you might be going with this. I get all sorts of guys. I think there's this kind of cliche that there are all these high-powered CEOs that want to be dominated.
I don't think that's the case. I talk to all walks of life, like young, old, rich, poor, all sorts of guys. So it's just a fan. It's like a foot thing. Yeah. Like, just there's this thing, like a humiliation thing that some guys just have that gene. Yeah. Or whatever it is. Yeah. I don't know if it's a gene, but. It's definitely not. Yeah. You know, I'm just. Yeah, there's another thing. Have you ever tried to figure out where it comes from? Have you ever, like, been, like. Because I would assume that, like, from the first time on, this guy's like, you know, someone should bottle your piss, you know. He'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah. Have you ever tried to figure out what is wrong with these people or right? Depending on your perspective. Well, there's not a lot of information about it. But the best explanation I've heard, I know Dan Savage talks about this.
§03Transcript · 17:14
And the author, Jesse Baring, he wrote the book Perf. He talks about it. There's this kind of sensitive period for guys around the age of nine where their mind is just kind of almost malleable in this way. And they'll usually have an experience that will, you know, set them off for the rest of their life that hardwires them to like whatever they like. I think for most guys, that's like boobs and blowjobs. But, you know, some of the time something weirder gets in there. Some people, it's just shitting in your hair. Yeah. And it really seems to be just like really hardwired for guys. Because as you can imagine, a lot of my clients don't want to like what they like. It's weird. um you know a lot of them are submissive and you know guys aren't really allowed to be submissive and so you know a lot of them really struggle with it um and they try and like quit it like
they see it as this addiction that they need to quit wow um but um but you can't like that's that's just how male sexuality works it seems like you can't like something else so you you think it's just something that happens along the way during the developmental period like a little hijacking of what we would consider normal sexuality to like, it piques this interest or gets this fetish fired up inside of a guy's mind. Yeah. I mean, I don't like to speculate about that sort of thing. I don't like to play armchair psychologist, but like from, that seems to be like- I think you've earned the position. Yeah, maybe so. But I mean, as far as like studies that have been on this, like that seems to be just kind of the best explanation that we have right now about it. Yeah, I've talked to Dan Savage about this and Chris as well like we were talking about guys that might not even be gay
That get they develop a fetish for a guy giving them oral sex. I talked to those guys all the time Really? Yeah, it's called forced by is what they call it. What's it called? Forced by forced by forced by sexuality. I thought it was for spy For spies Yeah, no, it's guys that want me to force them to like suck cock or get fucked in the ass and they'll tell me time and time again, I would never do this unless a woman was forcing me to do it or a woman was present encouraging me to do it. It's not about I want to suck a dick. It's about I want a woman to humiliate me in this way because that's the most humiliating thing I can think of. See, I guess I could kind of understand like fetishes. I could understand like you just get really turned on when you see women's shoes or something wacky. But there's something bizarre about wanting to be humiliated.
like that's I'm shocked when I find out how many people have this thing where they want to be humiliated yeah I don't know what do they what do they tell you like do you do you ever have like you have video conversations with these people or audio conversations with these people on the phone yeah I talked to him yeah I talked to like on Skype like I do cam shows one-on-one and so you see them sometimes if they turn on their cam I'll see them right and you know depends on if they want to be seen or not really I don't really care um but I mean I'm mostly talking to them when they're aroused it usually once they come it's like goodbye so I don't have a lot of like you know post-coital conversations or anything right um so I don't know it's just it just seems to me like it's a different form of dirty talk really right so it's not necessarily that they
really do want you to force them to suck a guy's dick they want to talk about it and beat off well they don't have a choice with me because I don't do sessions or anything like that um but a lot of guys do like I'm friends with women who work as dominatrixes and and yeah they'll want to set up a session where this woman like force them to suck a dick or sell their ass on craigslist or something like that and so they do it yeah yeah totally that's next level shit right yeah some of them do I mean some of them are a little too scared but no yeah there's certainly guys that do but like the ultimate for those guys is to find a dominatrix that will get them a guy that's gonna fuck them in the ass yeah or force them to suck his dick I had a guy one time he was this french guy and he was really into the whole forced by thing and he was also into um being like
blackmailed and exposed for what he was doing and so he made a video for me um he put my name on his forehead in big letters like c-e-a-r-a and then on his ass and then he just found like this black guy with just the biggest dick ever and just like made a video of him like blowing him with my name on his forehead and then getting fucked in the ass and then he wanted me to put together a whole video where I'm like humiliating him for this video and then I was going to expose him to the world and expose him to all his ex-girlfriends and he fucking loved it like I put it all together like he was so happy and he keeps paying me money he keeps wanting to do more videos it's like wow yeah and he has this goofy french accent and he's super flamboyant he'll probably watch this and be totally stoked I'm talking about him right now, actually. Wow. So, yeah. So is he gay?
You say he's super flamboyant. He is, yeah. Like, I would think he was gay, but he's apparently had girlfriends, and part of his kink is that he wants me to expose him to his ex-girlfriends for being the big fag that he is. Oh, my God. Because I need to punish him for tricking all these women when he's really just a closeted fag. So, yeah, that's his thing. I mean, he's clearly not totally straight. I'll give you that, but bisexual, I guess. I guess, yeah. Because he's not coming to a man for this. He's coming to me, so he's obviously attracted to women. Boy, you can go deep with this one. I guess maybe he's attracted to women, or maybe he's dated women before but always secretly wanted a man but knows that it would be humiliating so that he gets his kink on pretending that you're going to expose him. Yeah, maybe like you said, what Chris Ryan was saying,
one's an orientation and one's a fetish. So it's like, he's a fetish for women, but he's really gay or maybe the other way around. Didn't you have a situation where a guy like gave you his bank account number and everything too and wanted you to pretend to steal money from him? Oh, I get that thing all the time. That's normal? That's a normal one? Yeah, well that kind of gets into financial domination. Oh, that's a financial domination issue. Yeah. You should have learned all these terms. Yeah. Forced by financial domination. So financial domination is basically where guys literally get off on giving a woman their money. So like that's their kink. They just like get off on giving money. Do they get off on being blackmailed or being stolen from? That can be part of it. It can. But a lot of guys like I get a lot of guys just sending me money for no reason. Just like, there you go.
Like and that's what they like to do. They like pleasing me. They like sacrificing for me. And that's their thing. And some guys kind of get more into the control aspect where they want to give me their bank account number or their credit card number and watch me shop on my credit card. So you put a GoPro on and go to the mall? No, I usually do it online. I did a double cam session with this girl one time, and this guy put all his credit card information into this Saks Fifth Avenue website and then gave us the password and was like, go ahead, shop. and um in an hour we spent ten thousand dollars of his money just like buying just stupid shit that I ended up like reselling because I don't I don't give a shit about designer handbags or anything like that but he liked the idea of these like bitchy kind of paris hilton type girls that
would just laugh at him and just use all use them for his money wow yeah how strange yeah it's interesting though that these guys at least have an outlet now like yeah I don't know what they did before the internet yeah do you think that somehow the internet because of the the the access to people that are willing to do this that it sort of fosters this or helps it flourish yeah I don't know I've thought about that I've wondered if these fetishes even really existed before or if you know yeah now these guys just have an outlet um I have no idea do you mind saying how much you make doing something like this or is it something you want to keep to yourself I'd rather keep that in myself. I understand. Totally makes sense. Especially when you're talking about $12,000 just in logs. We start getting into toenails and boogers and all that. Who knows? The sky's the limit. Yeah.
§04Transcript · 25:41
Have you ever had someone that you did this with that insisted on meeting you? I don't know about insisted. I've certainly had guys be really persistent. But, I mean, the answer is just no. What if a guy wanted to give you like a million dollars to shit on him? Oh, I'd do that, yeah. No one's offered me quite that much. I'd absolutely shit on you for a million dollars. But it's got to be a guy out there that becomes obsessed with you and he's really wealthy and he's like, it's worth it. It's worth it. It's worth it. Can I film it? Several camera angles. I'll hire a professional crew. Yeah, I haven't quite gotten that offer yet. So most of the time people are content with the videos, would you say? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I seem to do pretty well. Like how many of them, at the average, ask to meet you in person? Oh, pretty small percentage.
I mean, it's hard to say like in terms of, there's some guys I never talk to. They just buy my videos, you know, and then there's some guys who buy cam, some guys who buy custom videos. So your videos are for sale to the public. Like they're never free? Yeah. I mean, unless someone pirates them, but yeah, they're... Oh, okay. So you have them on your website or something like that, and then someone signs up with credit card and right so I have access yeah so I have like a normal like subscription website you know like any kind of porn website where you pay monthly and get um so many videos streaming um I think like two or three hundred um and then I have a few like pay-per-view sites where guys can like buy the videos individually and how much of your day is spent doing this stuff hmm that's a good question I get asked that a lot and I wish someone could just like watch me
and see when I'm working and when I'm not. Because, you know, when you work for yourself at home, it's this blend of, like, working and then Facebook and then doing the dishes and then, you know, working. And so it's hard for me to say how much time I really spend doing it. But, I mean, I try and put a lot of effort into it because, like we were saying before, it's not going to last forever. And it seems quite lucrative. Yeah, yeah. It is. It's very strange. yeah does your family know about this yeah yeah you said that with eyes wide open eyebrows raised um yeah no they know um what do they think about it my mom and I don't really talk about it the last time we talked about it was the first time I told her um how'd that conversation go um well how did it go I remember she's at my house and I knew like it was one of those situations
And obviously I wasn't working at Starbucks, you know, because I was making good money, had a fairly nice apartment, you know, a car and that sort of thing. So it was like I knew she knew something was up. And so I just figured I might as well tell her. And I don't know what her response was. I think she just kind of nodded and was like, OK. And then I just assured her I was like, you know, I'm really happy and I'm safe and, you know, you don't need to worry. And that was it. She's kind of a reserved private person. And so I think, you know, it just kind of makes her uncomfortable to talk about it. So, you know, we don't need to. My dad thinks it's awesome. Like, he thinks it's so cool. Hit the brakes. What? Yeah, my dad thinks it's really cool. Your dad thinks it's cool? Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. What does he think is cool about it? Well, I think he was just very surprised.
I mean, it's the same situation. Like, he knew something was up. and unlike my mom he would make comments um alluding to the fact that he knew something was up but wasn't like what kind of comments because um well like I said like I you know how does one breach this subject well I I know you're shitting in buckets kid I know it well I think he thought it was something like prostitution yeah I think he thought something maybe worse than it was like yeah and he was alluding to that well no he like like I got um like I bought a car you know and And I was telling him I was working at Starbucks. And he just was like, wow, kiddo, Starbucks is really paying you a lot. Comments like that where it's like, I'm not buying this, but whatever. And then when I finally told him, he said he kind of stopped me at one point.
He was just like, I don't know what's going on in your life, but I just want you to know that I really love you. And I just need to know that you're okay and you're safe and that. And so I was like, all right, I should just tell him because he obviously something else is going on in his head that's way worse than it is. Right. And so I was just like, you know, I basically humiliate guys on the Internet for a living and I don't meet anyone and I don't touch anyone. I don't even really get naked. And he was just like, what? And he just had like so many questions. And he's just like, wow. He's like, that's that's amazing. You're a genius. That's great. You're a genius. That's what he said. Yeah, I did. Wow. What a weird dad. Yeah. well he's he's he's he's gay so he's you know wow yeah he's not there you go for whatever
information I'll give you um you know he doesn't have the most traditional lifestyle himself so you know he's open-minded he's cool I guess you have to be if you're a gay dad yeah how did when did he come out um to me I was 12 years old what about to your mom um you were 20 no my parents had been divorced for like I don't know like five years by at that point um but we grew up very religious we grew up jehovah witness actually so they marry young and have kids pretty young and that was going to be my next question about how many of these guys uh that you you deal with are religious? That's a good question. I don't know. I don't necessarily take polls. But there are some guys that like to be humiliated for their religion. One religion in particular that I'd rather not mention publicly. You'd rather not mention it? Because it's too obvious? A little fanatical. Oh, Islam.
Too bad. I made you mention it. So there's a guy who's a Muslim who buys your videos and wants to be humiliated for his religion. Yeah. And there's guys that will... I don't do this because I'm not touching with a 10-foot pole, but there are guys that will pay girls to piss on the Quran and rip it up and that sort of thing. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, so it's... And make videos doing that? Yeah. Whoa. And there's good money in it because it's so taboo. Anything that's so taboo someone's jerking off to it. But how hilarious is what you just said. There's good money in it. It's like you're saying that like it's a good river to catch fish in. Like they got some nice trout in that river. You might die eating it, but you know, it's good. That is what it sounds like. There's good money in there. There's good fishing in that river. Wow. Wow. Fuck. Yeah.
I had one Christian guy that wanted me to make a video of me like telling him to denounce Jesus and worship me and jerk off on the Bible. And I did that video because whatever Christians are going to are going to come after me for that. And most likely. Yeah. Most likely. Yeah. So that was pretty fun. Jesus Christ. How strange. What a weird place to find yourself in. Like trapped in this or not trapped, but just in this world. Yeah. Strange world of people's strange fetishes and ideas and kinks. Does it make you like look, I mean, you must look at people so much different than most other young girls that like go walk down the street in Portland. You see people, you don't, I mean, you've seen the man behind the curtain on so many of these freaks. Yeah.
Well, nothing really surprises me, you know, and I find that a lot of guys, I guess because I do what I do, like a lot of guys will tell me what they're into. just like just very openly about it um just because they know I'm maybe not jaded is the right word but I'm just so accustomed to hearing like the weirdest shit nothing really surprises me um but I think a lot of people get paranoid that I I assume uh they're into something weird like a lot of guys like everyone's always intrigued by what I do and I tell them they're just like wow and and if it's a guy they're always like uh you know they start asking questions but then they backpedal and they'll just be like I'm not into this sort of thing I just think it's interesting and it's like well I didn't think you were until you said that is it weird with dating
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um dating hasn't been a problem I've had I'd say three serious relationships see that is right there the difference between men and women yeah right there in a nutshell that you say oh it's not it hasn't really been a problem you know why because you're a pretty young girl so pretty young girls you're like guys like oh okay whatever what do you do you shit in a bucket whatever Are we going to fuck? We are. Yeah, I can deal with that. But if, you know, but if a girl met a guy and the girl's like, what do you do for a living? He's like, well, I take shits and buckets, send them to dudes. Girls would be like, I'm out. That's it. I'm not handling it. I don't care how cute you are. You fuck. That's a good point. I didn't talk about that way before. What do you do? I'll send my toenail clippings and shit to guys. I fart in underwear all day and then I send them to dudes. Girls would be out.
It would never take your text. Yeah, I think you're probably right. Guys would assume, oh, she's a freak. Yeah. Oh, my God. She's not going to say no to anything. This girl's off the chain. Yeah. She's out there peeing on dudes or peeing for dudes. Yeah. That's the difference between men and women. Men will tolerate so much more bizarre shit for girls pretty. But not a lot of guys want to date a stripper necessarily. They get jealous. That's a little different. That's different. Because it's what, you know. Or porn stars, certainly. That's got to be really hard. That's a hard one. Yeah. Yeah, that's a real hard one. I've had friends that have dated porn stars, and then it gets to a point where it gets kind of serious. Yeah. And, you know, these girls come home from a... I had a friend who was a writer. He was a writer on news radio.
And he was dating this girl who was a very prominent porn star at the time. And they were at dinner. And they were trying to have small talk like normal people do at the end of the day at dinner. And he was like, so what's going on? you know how you been and she's like just had this hard anal day with this guy I kept pounding my ass I'm so tired yeah and he was like sitting there like with his jaw dropped like oh christ yeah just he couldn't do it anymore and I know another guy I got another guy another guy who was living with a porn star like dating living cool with it fine no big deal just her job man just her job dude and then one day uh she left a contract out and you know going over the contract and uh he looked at the contract and he's like what does airtight mean I know what airtight means airtight
means a dick in every hole one in the mouth one the butt one the vag and he's like submarine and he was like that's it I'm out that was it the the phrase airtight on a contract he just realized what he was getting into like it wasn't that his girlfriend was going off and having sex with another man she was getting three men stuffed yeah she's getting brutalized hmm that's interesting like I mean if you're okay with your your lady you know having sex with other men like what how do additional dicks really make a difference I don't know to him it was just a straw that broke the camel's back I don't know I mean I think he's probably close to not being able to take it anyway you know sometimes people get into things like it's not I it's not what they want right but the girl is so much prettier than most girls they get and so much hotter yeah like I have a friend
here's another one a different dude who has been living with a porn star for a long time and that she retired recently she just does like videos and stuff but the whole time where they were together she was just getting gorilla fucked yeah like four or five days a week and he's like this really nerdy sort of like low-key quiet guy and she's pretty hot yeah and it's like the only way he's ever going to get that kind of a girl and I guess in him she finds stability sure and a nice a mate and someone who's kind and you know and then she goes off and gets gorilla fucked yeah yeah right that's really what it's all about like if it were who at the end of the day the real problem is our attitudes about sex like that's at the end of the day that's where that's the only place it becomes a problem because if you're you're off getting mass massaged nobody
cares if you go someplace and three people massage you nobody gives a shit right but if three people fuck you and then we're like hey you're breaking the rules yeah you know yeah especially like in the porn industry I mean they're getting tested every week so you know it's it's kind of hard to make the excuse that you know it's more dangerous for your health because I think I think their population is actually like um there's less instances of stds than the general population or promiscuous people in the general population that makes sense yeah kind of makes sense because like how many people do you know get tested every week you know jamie jamie's three times a week he doesn't even fuck he's just paranoid no I'm just kidding um but I would always think that well if she gets tested on friday and then we bang on the next following thursday who knows
how many dicks have been around since then infected Charlie Sheen dicks you know that's what could happen poor Charlie huh who saw that coming yeah no kidding crazy Charlie isn't that interesting Charlie poor guy such a victim yeah he is a victim he's a victim of circumstance the crack and the dick were in the same room at the same time and he didn't know which one to smoke I feel like I'm Tony Hinchcliffe now with the puns That's a crazy story, right? Apparently he's like blowing guys But I guess you do enough drugs I guess you get cracked out enough And you're like, who gives a shit? Give me that dick, I'll suck it You're just off the fucking rails, right? Yeah, or he's just bisexual Could be Well, there was a story a long time ago Was it Corey Haim? Is that what it was? Corey Feldman apparently said that Corey Haim got fucked by Charlie Sheen. He sort of alluded to it
when Corey Haim was really young. But, you know, Corey Feldman's kind of crazy. So who knows? Allegedly. Yeah, allegedly crazy. Everybody's crazy. But, you know, I wasn't surprised, right? Were you surprised? That Charlie Sheen got AIDS? Well, he's got HIV. Be politically correct on this show. Please. This is super important. He's got HIV. No, that doesn't surprise me at all. He's a tall train wreck. He's a freak. Yeah, right. I don't get why people like Celebrate him so much like he just seems like an awful person like well at one point in time What he did was the unthinkable because he was a superstar right two and a half men giant sitcom One of the biggest sitcoms in the country he had been in platoon and Wall Street. He was Michael Douglas's son I mean, it's Jesus or Martin Sheen's son Michael Douglas why they have a different name I forgot what I'm talking about
when he had that like tiger blood meltdown everyone just thought it was so funny and it's like this guy's fucked up he has kids but that's because he was doing the unthinkable he was owning it and in this country what we hate is when someone gets busted doing something and they go to rehab you know quitter no matter what you do I mean, you could get busted doing anything. You know, like Mel Gibson went to rehab because he was yelling at a Jew when he got pulled over. He was yelling at a cop, calling him a Jew. And he's like, I got to go to rehab for hating Jews. Like he went to rehab. Did he go to rehab for that? He did, right? Jew-hating rehab. Yeah, I think they have a Jew-hating rehab. But I don't think the cop was even Jewish. He was just drunk and crazy. But it was like that's what led him. It's like you got to make amends. You got to find something to pull together.
Got to go to rehab to pull it together. That's the move. In this country, we demand that you go to rehab. Yeah. You can't even rehab at home. Nope, not good enough. Yeah. Got to go there. Or like if you cheat on your wife and it's like, oh, I'm a sex addict. Got to go to rehab. Yeah. Got to go somewhere. Not that I'm powerful and I have all this money and women want to fuck me. Nope. Nope. Rehab. Addiction. Got a problem. Got a sickness. Got an illness. Got to go to rehab. Yeah. That's what we, it's like that Amy Winehouse song. We make people go to rehab. Yeah. Rehab is a, when did they invent? rehab I really want to know and it wasn't betty ford wasn't I don't know she didn't she use the betty ford clinic was that the first one it's a good question I think you might have nailed it that might be it because that was what it used to be when I was a kid it was always oh he went to
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betty ford yeah and I was like what you would say when someone had fucked up and just completely blown it right yeah do you ever get dudes that are um former sex addicts like they've gone to sex rehab and they've had counselors tell them that they need to stop and um I don't know about I'm sure I have um I've never talked about it talked to any guys about it specifically but I there's a definitely a certain percentage of guys that think they are like addicted to me and it can be kind of confusing because I think sometimes that's part of the fantasy is that they're addicted to me but there are some guys that like legitimately like have a problem with um their spending and their jerk-off habits and just how much this fetish world kind of consumes them um and they make make poor decisions and like especially if you get into the whole like
blackmail exposure fetish like oh yeah I had a guy one time um really felt bad for him actually a nice guy we'd cam and like he would dress up you know in women's clothing like and not like classic clothing just like outrageous kind of bimbo-y like uh tutus and just crazy slutty makeup and then he would get a bunch of used condoms and put them in his mouth oh jesus and then uh take pictures and he would um he would want me to like you know pretend to blackmail him and like threatened to send them and he would give me he would give me like real people's like email address like like ex-girlfriends and stuff like that or any or he he was also one of the guys that would want me to make a video and release it and um so he paid me a lot of money to make a video and and release it and then um I remember like a week or so later I got an email from um a
dominatrix that he saw in person and it was like a really serious email and she was just like hey you know I know you made this video for um for this guy and I just you know I just want you to know that he really struggles with this fetish and he's he's kind of suicidal and he's really freaking out about you know that that you put this up even though he asked you to do it and I just want to kind of reach out to you and ask if you would consider taking it down um and so I did and and yeah I mean I mean can you imagine I don't know what you're into Joe but like imagine like whatever you're into sexually instead of like that feeling you get where that almost not quite uncontrollable but just kind of where you lose it a little bit sexually because you're just so like intoxicated like that feeling for you know being exposed in this way where there's condoms in your
mouth and you're like dressed as a woman and stuff like that and then you come and you're like oh fuck what did I do so a lot of guys like really struggle with it where they they're their desire comes from this place of just something they actually really do not want really like scares them and freaks them out like it's just that's so strange to have the the the two contrasting sides sort of right next to each other yeah pre and post orgasm right well I feel like we all maybe kind of share that a little bit um girls too well I mean well I mean just the idea that I mean sex just normal sex is kind of weird and kind of gross if you're not turned on you know like or like even if you're like watching normal porn like it looks really awesome and feels great when you're aroused and then you come it's like ew yeah who was I a second ago you know so and that's just maybe like to very
lower degree but yeah you get into these weird fetishes and that that difference is much more defined well there's definitely a difference when you're there you know there's definitely a difference like if having actual sex with someone and being aroused and then what it must appear if you weren't horny at all. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Especially if you look gross naked. Right. You know? Like people who look gross naked, they don't go, fuck. They just, ugh. And then when it's over, they're like, ugh. Yeah. You know, you look at it all, and you're like, what the fuck am I doing? What is this? What is this weird urge that your body's natural reward system sort of been hijacked? Yeah. Just to get you to come in someone's mouth. And then you're like, what is this? Yeah. Like, what is going on here? And especially if you're a guy,
It seems like you're almost cognitively impaired and your priorities are just... Almost. Yeah. 100%. That's trying to be nice. The way I've described it is when a guy has an erection, it's like sitting in the back seat of a really long bus where some other dude's driving. But it's hard to talk to him because all the windows are rolled down and the engine's really loud and you're yelling, do you know where the fuck you're going? And you're watching your life take place through a dirty windshield. Like, where are we going? That's a great analogy. What is this? That's so true. And then once you have an orgasm all of a sudden when the clouds of confusion part you wake up and you're at the front of the bus holding up the wheel You're like what the fuck is going on here? That's literally what it feels like yeah to a guy
But that's how that's how there's seven billion people on the planet like that that switch that goes off where Massive impairment of function of the thought all just gets shot Down all those fuses start blowing off circuits start shutting off That's how people made sure there's seven billion people on the planet. Yeah, it's true especially back when people had never figured out soap or Wiping or anything. I mean who knows what people smelled like? 200 thousand years ago, but there were people 200 thousand years ago and they were having sex with each other you got those pheromones going though I mean barely probably puts you over the top Yeah, barely allows you to I mean the guys that we want buy my underwear I'll wear them for a day, but they want me to wear them for a week Do you lie and say don't don't say no, I don't I of course you don't know
Do they ask you to do things in the underwear like fart number yeah, I get that or shit in them. Oh Jesus masturbating anything that can secrete off my body if someone wants to someone wants to eat up oh god is there ever anything that people have asked you to do and you said no uh other than meet them yeah sure um well because I'm kind of you know I'm always uh in control I'm like the female dom I won't do anything that depicts me as submissive um I don't get naked I get pretty close I get pretty scantily clad um but I don't get completely naked um yeah yeah that that's that's about it if it's I mean if it's a video that I can just do just me and the camera and I'm in control I'll probably do it have guys ever tried to get you to not be in control have ever guys ever tried to switch it around on you yeah pretty rarely though I think I think most guys kind of get you know they know
what I'm about so they know it's kind of a lost cause to to try otherwise but yeah once in a while they know what you're about that's hilarious because you got a reputation in the humiliation world yeah exactly god it's so fucking strange yeah is that a strange existence it really is yeah it's fucking weird but it seems like it's a flourishing existence that's what's strange about it is there's obviously a certain percentage of the population that wants this service yeah Yeah. And it seems like because I have no I have some friends in the porn industry and it seems like mainstream porn is, you know, losing a lot of money with piracy and whatnot. I mean, I'm sure they're still doing pretty well, but they've lost most of it. It's been the bottoms dropped out of it. The way where they make money now, ironically, is really.
Yeah, that's where they make money. Yeah. It's kind of funny. I don't think that's ironic, really. It's like a Lennis Morissette ironic. It's odd. Yeah. That's where the money's coming in. Yeah, you wouldn't have guessed that necessarily. It's pay-per-view. Pay-per-view in hotels. Yeah. But who the fuck doesn't have a laptop? Like, who's doing that? Yeah, that's weird. So, like, I've seen people even say, like, hey, don't go to these free sites. You know, you should support your local, your performers and, you know, buy porn. But most people are like, whatever. You know, most people don't care. Yeah. Yeah, it's true. but I I see a lot of like former mainstream porn girls like doing what I do now so it kind of seems like it's kind of the new thing um and there's something to be said about the more personal
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interaction and the fact that there's no like middleman it's just it's me you know when you email me you get me and right and control too yeah also that you don't have to worry about it yeah you know that's that that's got to be a big aspect of it because if you're doing films and And then, you know, you don't get to, I guess, maybe decide if you have that kind of power, who you have sex with or what you do. But if you want to make more money, you got to do other stuff, you know. Yeah. It's got to be tricky. Yeah, totally. Yeah, I don't do anything I don't want to do. So that's pretty sweet. Yeah, I think in that sense, the porn business is probably going to go sort of the way of the record business. In that, like, the record business was controlled by these big groups and they're kind of, they're worthless now because no one's selling records anymore. Right.
And sort of the porn business was like this big thing where like all these guys who are the producers and the content creators like these companies these big companies. They were making millions and millions of dollars and the girls made some money. Yeah, but they didn't make the bulk of the money. They were the ones that everybody was paying to see. But most of the money was being made by the producers. Well, that's fucking dried up. And now the girls are kind of owning it themselves now doing stuff like what you're doing. And like a lot of the other one. I see like different people on Twitter. they offer like videos and stuff like private videos they'll do with people yeah yeah and I think I mean if a guy is even the slightest bit fanboyish they they like that their money is going directly to the person and not you know yeah oh definitely yeah yeah well sure I mean
there's a lot of that fanboyish shit too there's a lot of like there's fan like I don't think people who are outside of the business or aren't in somehow or another know somebody in the business but there's guys that are like fucking sports fans there's sports fans of porn stars like they want to get like autographs and they they like their fans like oh yeah well the avn every year they have the whole aee convention and it's all just the girls signing autographs and what kind of freaks show up at those things it's fun I go every year you go every year really yeah because one of the clips for sale one of the sites that I sell my videos off of they have a booth and so um I'll go over there and sign and uh it's so mainstream most guys don't know who I am but every once in a while they will but yeah it's it's you know kind of like whatever you imagine
a guy like that would go to that you're probably right like it's it's exactly what you're picturing it's yeah but that's also honestly they're the same dudes who go to comic book conventions yeah you know the same dudes are really into baseball you know we could all be in that group Yeah, that's true. A few wrong turns or right turns, depending on your perspective. Yeah. Yeah, we have a weird thing in this country, particularly about sex. And anything else where you're really into it, it's okay. Like, you can be addicted to playing golf, and everybody goes, oh, there's Jamie. He's on that golf course every day, this crazy fuck. But if you're at home beating off every day, you're a freak. Yeah. You're a loser. You know you could have gigs and gigs of porn and you really love it and you talk about the old days and you know
You have like like you know like Mike Tyson used to watch like old Jack Dempsey films and learn technique, you know You can't be like that with porn because if you like that with porn you're a fucking loser. Yeah, it's weird It is weird. I mean as long as you're getting everything else done in life It's not interfering in any exactly way Yeah And even if it is getting in the way So is everything else people get addicted to So is food People that are nuts about food People that love gambling That gets in the way Everything gets in the way But we look at those things as somehow or another being Somehow or another being a better thing to be addicted to Yeah Preferable Yeah, I think you're right Yeah, we're a little fucked up about sex for sure A lot fucked up about sex But whatever, right? I mean, that's how you pay the bills Like imagine a perfect world where everybody was open-minded.
What would you have to do? You'd have to be working at Starbucks just like you told your dad. I know. All these guys would be honest with their wives about what they're into and then they never come to me for it. Yeah. So it's probably better that we live in this strange world. Sex Jamie world. Yeah. I think so. Echoes of the Puritans who founded the strange country. Did you go to college? Yeah. What did you go to college for? I studied psychology. Oh, perfect. Yeah. I minored in business. Oh, perfect. Jesus Christ, you were born for this. That's hilarious. Yeah. So this is a perfect gig for you. Yeah, I think so. Wow. I'm going to fit right into it. Awesome. I don't know how much longer we could talk about this, but I think we kind of nailed it. I've had a feeling this was going to be one of those podcasts. Yeah. How long has it been? An hour. An hour? An hour and five minutes. Okay.
Can I do a little selfless? Sure. Please do. Some self-promotion. So I haven't mentioned this at all publicly yet, so I wanted to save it for this podcast because I know you've got a pretty big audience. I have, for the past couple years, been working on a documentary with a filmmaker, Julian Shaw, from Australia. And he's been doing a documentary on me, filming me. And we just opened up a Facebook about it and we'll be launching a Kickstarter to help fund the rest of the movie pretty soon. So if people want to join and get updates, It's facebook.com forward slash ruinmemovie. So it's essentially a documentary about what we're talking about here. Yeah, about me. About humiliation, about how these guys want you to do these things to them. Exactly. Threaten them. Yeah, and we've filmed a lot of it, mostly through private investors, but we're going to do some crowdsourcing here soon.
So, yeah, it's going to be called Ruin Me. So it's facebook.com forward slash ruinmemovie for updates on that. All right. Beautiful. Thank you. Thank you, Sarah. Very nice meeting you. Yeah, you too. Young Jamie, take us out. Thank you.