Felipe Esparza
Guests: Felipe Esparza
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Good to see you my friend it's been too long what's up fool good to see you too when was the last time I saw you brother it was like five years ago or something five years ago and I did the show here when you were in LA yeah at the warehouse damn that's what I miss most about the store is uh you know traveling dudes we would meet up we'd meet up at the home base yes and now when I was a young comic I would see like older comics like that I would see on television they would just come out at that bar or the patio just get a refresh yeah and you pass by and you see oh yeah that's um man Arsenio Hall that's Elaine Boosler OG right there you know you're like what right I used to see her at Dodger Stadium when I worked at Dodger Stadium and I would ask her for advice and she was just you know like well every comic back there just keep writing she's a funny comic yeah she was a funny comic who's that lady that was on um Curb Your Enthusiasm she's very funny too old school comic god damn it I'm very embarrassed that I forgot her name she hasn't done comedy in a long time look that up Suzy yes Suzy Yasmin oh Suzy Yasmin did stand up yes oh she was great oh she was really funny I middled for her once in like fucking 1989 or some shit way back in the day my who you middled for that lady wow yeah yeah I forgot someplace on Long Island I can't might have been like governors or something like that I don't I do not remember but I remember she was very nice she was very funny very nice very encouraging which is the best man when you get to work with someone that you see on television and you just like starting out and they're nice to you that's so valuable I can't believe it like when I when I when I was there she is Suzy Yasmin there she is whoa she looked like Elaine from Seinfeld yeah similar but that's the haircut back then huh
she yeah well they all had crazy everybody lost their mind in the 80s Ali Lieberman yeah they all they all lost their mind back then because like from the 70s to the 80s nobody knew how to dress they did crazy shit with their hair she's going over her set yeah they would all tease their hair up it was crazy there was like a big hair thing I think it was when people started doing cocaine that's what I think I think is the 80s was Miami Vice and cocaine everybody lost their mind they lost lost their fashion sense people started wearing wacky clothes cars started looking like shit yeah man the sob pinto cars just started looking like shit I mean if you wanted objective analysis of what happens to a society when they remove marijuana and mushrooms and then they bring in cocaine it's like yeah hey you know what it's gonna call Ford Fiesta yeah cuz we were a fiesta yesterday but cocaine brought a Sam Kinison too though you have to realize cocaine's done some good you think he did a lot a lot a lot a lot no no I think it's terrible for everybody who does it but but I do think that there's moments of inspired creativity from all kinds of substances especially that rock and roll cocaine that they used to get where it was like just real pure cocaine it wasn't stepped on did have amphetamines and fentanyl in it all kinds of other shit good shit not the stuff you buy like a grab wrap with Iowa and I say this is a person who's never tried coke never never never never be lying no I would not lie never no never no I got real lucky when I was in high school I had a buddy of mine and his cousin started selling it and he was a great guy and I watched this dude kind of like shrink into himself and lost a ton of weight and him and his girlfriend just they had this attic apartment and they would just hang out and do coke and sell coke and they would just like watch TV and do coke and it was wow it was it was like they got bit by a vampire man it scared the shit out of me I was afraid of cocaine man because when I started stand up like I started stand up like in 94 93 at an open mic and I was clean I was sober I was a year I was in rehab and I wanted to be a comedian so I went to a library to learn about writing Jean Perret comedy writing step by step another book called how to write funny be funny and make money being funny
and that was a real great book and that was a real great book bro I mean it had comedy clubs locations in the back and they had booker numbers like to submit your comedy yeah remember the comedy USA industry guide a hundred dollars yeah can you believe that shit bro I remember dudes used to take out full page ads that's how you knew they were killing it when a dude would take out a full page ad in the comedy USA industry guide I'm like wow he's got a full page ad I remember bro when I was looking for gigs in like in 2000 right and I remember this comedian named Shang and Dante yeah I remember those guys those guys had a list of a list like a five page list of comedy bookers names knack a number to call and the back of the page was shitty bookers to avoid and they decided to send it to the comics for like 75 bucks wow I got lucky that I was in Boston and Boston had there was that was like the boom happened in Boston when like Stephen Wright got on tonight show everybody found out about Boston but it was already this like crazy there's a great documentary called when stand up stood out you had the guy on the show here yeah I've had a few of those guys on the show it was like a Chinese restaurant yes yeah yeah yeah Don Gavin yes one of those guys Steve Sweeney legends I still say to this day there's some of the best comics I've ever seen in my I've seen them murder harder than anybody I've ever seen in my life but it was just very regional very local and a lot of it didn't translate nationally for some reason like Steve Sweeney in Boston in front of a Boston audience is the funniest guy that's ever lived and I'm not kidding I'm not exaggerating he would get like Boston accents and Boston attitudes it would be all big part of his act and dude it was murderous if you had to follow that you were fucked you were fucked man and they would do that to dudes from out of town it was the most ruthless cruel shit they would do at Nick's comedy stop they would take these assassins these local assassins and stack them one after the other it would be Kenny Rogerson Don Gavin Steve Sweeney and then they'd throw up some headliner and this poor headliner is used to soft acts on the road he's used to being known for the guy who was on television hey folks so I'm Mike you know the sitcom and they'd try to do stand up and just they were getting eaten alive he's talking about nuggets the guys the guys who were up there all coked out oh yeah they were working the crowd
they were wild boys too they were big like football player sized wild crazy drinkers and partiers and they were funny man and so because there was this like love of comedy in Boston they had all these comedy nights all over the place where you could make a living so you could be like a half ass comedian like I was and you know you could make 500 bucks a week just hustling just moving around that's what we all did so there was so many places that you could work and so many like little booking agents and like like Western Massachusetts you have to go out there like you know like there's these weird towns that are like liberal hideouts you know what I mean like universe like Amherst you'd get like Amherst gigs it was weird like Amherst Amherst the other place the other place that you gotta be from there to pronounce it right which one is that one is that that you did for a steak sauce oh Worcester Worcester yeah yeah it looks weird I was 2010 I was doing last comic standing there and um I got there early and I hung out with a Boston comic I think his uncle is that cop the guy that caught that was missing in action um the Irish gangster oh David Bolger is the comedian yeah and he and he was I said yeah man we're performing Worcester sir and then he took the joint he goes no bro Worcester okay thank you for telling me bro yeah you don't want to say hey Worcester sir nice to be here they would fucking kill you they're like that's where the great Doug Stanhope is
from yeah Worcester Doug Stanhope started in Worcester I love him he's the best all right it's February and by now 80% of people have probably abandoned their New Year's resolutions and it makes sense life can get crazy and all of a sudden you don't have the time but one easy habit to stick with is AG1 it's an easy realistic habit that you can make to benefit your whole body health AG1 makes hard to get micronutrients easy to get and replaces multiple vitamins and supplements with just one scoop you just mix it in some cold water take a nice moment in the morning to do your body right and honestly it tastes pretty good it's not easy to pack this many high quality ingredients with this much nutrient
density but AG1 makes it happen without added sugars or artificial sweeteners ever AG1 is a great way to invest in your health now and in the long run which is why I've partnered with them for so long try AG1 and get a free bottle of vitamin D3 K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first subscription at drink AG1.com slash Joe Rogan that's a $76 value gift for free when you go to drink AG1.com slash Joe Rogan check it out I had a first comedy album the one he did with roaring or something oh the one we did with music in the background yeah that was great that's a great there was a place like that a Boston place but not in a documentary but Will Durst he's a San Francisco comedian sure he had a room like that
called a comedy zoo or the the zoo holy city zoo holy city zoo yeah and there's a comedian that came out of there that's a killer comic and he's still alive and um he opened for me and he opened for Rob Schneider and Papa and he opened up a lot of people Larry Bubbles Brown oh cool and he's an old school guy after every show he goes merr merr but he did the letterman in 1992 and then um he did it again in 2006 so he has a record for doing letterman between 30 years wow but he's one of those comedy that like never left San Francisco there's a few of those guys that got trapped like that yes yeah that were like really good guys remember that one guy in Chicago
fuck what was this Larry Larry Reeb Larry Reeb remember Larry Reeb he was a guy like that like a really solid national act but it was so Chicago it kind of stayed around there mostly it was like every now and you'd find towns like that you're like one murderer that lived in the town Bob Marley in New England yeah so it was Maine Bob Marley's the murderer of Maine they said that Robert Schimmel was Arizona I love Robert Schimmel yeah he was the best he was the best he was such a good guy but he was uh he lived in Phoenix and it was somewhere in that area I think it was Phoenix but for him it was like it was easier to get around the country that way and he didn't want to be a part of it he was like one of the first guys that I was like
oh you could like be a big time comic and not have to leave your state like you get to a point where you could live in Oklahoma like Larry the Cable Guy does probably where does he live he lives in like somewhere like Georgia or something like that I don't know in the country where's he live is that where he lives though I don't want to give up his I'm not trying to dox him he was from music on the radio there but I think yeah he's definitely from there I just don't know if he lives there we probably shouldn't say where he lives but that dude is uh he could be anywhere it doesn't matter like you could you could just go anywhere I just see his face when I go to El Paso comic strip
and all those dudes you're talking about they were all there dude I remember Josh Wolfe showed me a picture that he took when he was on stage and they were doing it was like 60,000 people so Larry the Cable Guy was doing like 60,000 people and Josh Wolfe's like got his camera and he's like moving around on stage like that is the craziest fucking thing I've ever seen that crowd is so insane that's how big that guy got 50,000 people man and he was another dude that got hated on for no reason other than his success it was like for some reason everybody couldn't believe that you could say offensive things as a joke in a character all of a sudden and it had so coincidentally
happened at the same time as him getting super huge it's like you guys are just fucking haters that's crazy how when they they start hating the the character but not the person well that's the dice thing yeah right just like the guy with that they have that puppet in New York oh Otto and George yeah uh Greg Giraldi when I opened for him back in the day um back in Addison Improv he told me that um he would say the nastiest shit that puppet and this lady threw a threw shit at the puppet but not at Otto bro we were talking about it Tuesday night in the green room we were talking about how that puppet was kind of possessed and I'm not even bullshitting you know Otto was out there yeah Otto was out there
I mean he was out there everybody I mean that dude partied he went hard and he was a genius comedian but he would get rides to gigs and say pull over I gotta check on George and he would in the fucking side of the highway he would pull over pop the trunk and check on the dummy wow his buddy weird man weird man weird someone there he is bro someone stabbed that dummy once yeah danger fields some Puerto Rican guy he was the dummy was saying Puerto Rican jokes to this guy and the guy fucking stabbed the dummy stabbed the dummy was it a knife or a sharp bed spring a fucking knife or a sharp bed spring bro something anything whatever you got that you polished down to a point
you ever watch uh the fabulous miss measles what that the fabulous miss measles is about a female comic growing up in the 50s on amazon no oh fabulous mrs. measles mrs. measles oh she's missus all right i thought you were saying something in spanish that's hilarious you ever seen mousy mousy that's hilarious i literally thought you were talking about a completely different show do you remember the ventriloquist that did like a one minute set on her show yeah well so like ventriloquist now it's like it's one of those things like with carrot top he's like so successful at props that no one does props anymore but when we first started out everybody did props there was like 10 guys on a
lineup of 20 guys that have props they bring with them on stage because sometimes it was really funny right to do Lee yeah rusty do Lee was great at it but it's like the he owned that for whatever reason because carrot top got so big using props he's the only guy that still does it that he kind of owns that and then with jeff dunham he got so big at being a ventriloquist like there's no ventriloquist anymore like when we were kids there was always comedy ventriloquist there was like willie tyler and lester yeah remember there was like it was it was a fun thing you get the dummy to say fucked up shit and then you go i can't believe you could say that in front of these nice people
and then george be like fuck these people they tell everybody's sucking cock it was like it was crazy what's another one woody woody in the hood yeah but with otto and george it was a little different man because i think george i think otto believed that george was alive i think otto believed there was something about george that was different than him like he was not otto and george he was just otto and george only existed when george was there and it seemed like there was something going on with that and it might be just he fucking fried his brain to the point where he was connecting with you know all kinds of energy that wasn't even there you know he might have been out he was out there
he was out there but the combination together what if they smoke crack together yeah he probably made george smoke it yeah there's famous otto crack stories he was that guy was gone but he was also brilliant really funny man fucking funny and we in a comics comic like we would all sit in the back of the room to watch when he was on stage but so there's a lot of those guys that are like real genius but they're real eccentric and for whatever reason the general public doesn't find out about there's not like a good vehicle at least back then there wasn't for them to get out to the general public like today i would say an example that is like brian holtzman yes right like brian holtzman
we've known forever he's always been a guy we all watched he was always the guy that at the end of the night especially if something fucked up happened like there was a plane crash like someone got eaten by a lion you mentioned a plane crash because i was there when he did that joke i was in the back of the company store he said um american airlines is hiring and then um he said uh and i remember who's he i remember who survived that airline and he said um fuck that everybody says how come they don't build a plane out of the black box or sit me next to the back box sit me next to a fucking baby baby survive give me hold that baby bitch a baby survived yeah baby survived an airline at the flight one time and
he said oh i want to hold that baby i want to hold somebody baby in an airplane just in case it goes down because if a baby survived i'm gonna survive you have to see him say it i don't think we're doing it justice i'm fucking it all up my favorite one was when susan smith got arrested for drowning her kids he goes i heard those were bad kids i heard they sat that close to the tv they didn't put away their blocks those kids will not be missed the the fun thing about brian is if you know him like in real life he's like the sweetest guy on earth he's such a sweetheart of a guy like super friendly to everybody loves everybody like he doesn't even have an enemy like brian holtzman has no enemies he's
always sweet and friendly and then he gets on stage and it's like he becomes like his version of george yeah i hung out with um brian holtzman brian i hung out with brian holtzman and his mom in san antonio texas oh wow because we were doing the latino laugh festival oh wow and he was the only non-latino in the show him and darren carter and uh bro there was all latinos bro everybody was getting shit johnny sanchez pronounces his name like an american and somebody yelled out it's sanchez fucker how did they say it i don't know he said my name is johnny sanchez and then somebody said no it's sanchez with five a's sanchez oh so he got heckled so he got heckled for saying his name
in a non-mexican way yes and then brian holtzman goes up there bro it's rough out in those streets and brian holtzman was up there he said um he goes this is not a comedy show close all the doors i was born patrol is gonna come in here take everybody but this is after this is after um we were doing this taping or typing mancia shows up does a guest spot on our taping and goes long you know really long you know like jeff valdez looking around so then um that's when brian holtzman goes up and murders it he goes man i gotta figure out how to how to this immigration problem man we got a bunch of u-haul trucks u-haul
trucks we go around to every home depot we got these people yeah we're hiring bro there's lots of jobs muchos trabajos come on get in the trucks we fucking take these trucks we drop them off in tijuana mexico yeah he would you have to see him say it he starts screaming and shit but it's also like he's playing this bizarre psychotic character that only comes out when he's on stage he's the most different when he's on stage and he held his job too when he had a job at the xx he always had a job that was the problem that was the problem he never hit he never hit the road he stuck around the store because like i was saying there's not like a path for those guys like nobody wanted brian holtzman to
open for them that's too weird no you know he belonged at the store and now he's found a crowd at the mothership his shows at the mothership they're all sold out like he's hilarious people come to see him and he didn't have a path before it was like there was like you know he's too weird to put on a television show it's like it's like you gotta you really want to be in the room that's what it is yeah this like if anybody is way funnier in the room it's brian holtzman the the discomfort the weirdness and the way he works around it when you're in the room is so fun and every show is different every show is different and he's always talking about new things he's like i mean it's
really like he channels this fucking character it's like he should be two different people he should be brian holtzman the super nice guy and then whatever the fuck his name is when he's on stage it's almost like he needs a second name mitzi should have done that a long time ago mitzi used to call joey fat baby do you remember those days yeah someone someone has one of the lineups that they got from jeff scott and uh on the lineup it's got everybody's name and then you know 15 minutes and then it says fat baby fat baby she wanted him to be called fat baby weird advice sometimes man the managers give you the terrible advice can't listen to any of them
i know man good advice i was bummed out one time because you know you have to go back and forth back and forth so they make you a regular and i was trying at the laugh factory and one time jay masada he told me i don't see you making it man for another six to eight years oh boy and then when i finally got last coming standing i looked at him and said you were jamie your advice was full of shit it took fucking 12 it took 12 not six but i was bummed out when he told me that i was like bummed out you know you get bummed out like you realize you put in all this work and it's like you know you can't be a regular here so you gotta go back to these other rooms um i talked to brad williams
and um he said um fuck that advice bro you know what he told me he said he told me that i should get all the little people i can find in hollywood all of them all the little midges all the little little persons and um bring them to the laugh factory and jamie said you can have the biggest little person show in all of hollywood that was his advice for brad so that's i was i was not feeling so bad after that then i talked to alonzo bowden and he told alonzo bowden that he should put on shoulder pads and be a football comic so joe after hearing that i didn't want to cry anymore oh my god he had some terrible advice i think it was he was giving advice i think it was he was giving
this advice to todd parker who was telling him it was either todd parker or robbie prince two guys that i knew from boston one of them he was telling him i think it's todd you've got to be generation x guy this is what you're going to be buddy you're going to be generation x guy so from generation x this is how i see the world buddy like everything was as a generation generation x guy like and he was like that's the worst advice i've ever heard in my life like why would i do that but people would have like schemes for you but the thing is they're just trying to help yeah but the the no one knows how to do it other than you and you got to figure it out no one can tell you yeah they're like outdated too
like who would have told mitch headberg wear sunglasses and sometimes turn your back to the crowd no one no one mitch headberg would be killing with his back to the crowd high on heroin all non sequiturs for like an hour and a half they have stage fright he was just crazy you know brilliant with him you met him i met him i didn't know him well but i you know i knew him enough that it was a bummer when when he died i remember i was with stan hope we were filming something and um we found out that he had gangrene he got admitted to a hospital he had gangrene you're like yo gangrene fucking kills people like this is fucking scary and you know he just had a problem he just liked that heroin and he didn't want to stop like people wanted to clean him up he did not want to get cleaned up
it's like i am not interested i did already one time but i didn't show it up i just smoked it but i was in amsterdam dude it doesn't seem like anybody has a great old time with the rest of their life once they start doing heroin yeah it's like cocaine it's the same thing it's like i think there's probably moments of brilliance that have come out of heroin though i i definitely do when i think about 1960s music i think heroin and lsd affected a lot of rock and roll in the 1960s and cannabis for sure too and probably mushrooms but you know the the thing that it always kills you like everybody always it always ruins everything they all died young everybody like put morrison 27 hendrix 27
although there is a wild conspiracy about hendrix yeah yeah what you hear that he was killed by his manager the conspiracy there was one of his bodyguards right is that what it was jamie that wrote this book how did he die he i think he died of his asphyxiation from throwing up you know which is one thing that can happen to people that are doing drugs but the uh bodyguard i believe this don't hold me to this but i believe the story was hendrix was going to leave his manager his manager was mobbed up his manager was like a scary guy and his manager was making a lot of money with hendrix hendrix is trying to leave and uh he's got the rights to the hendrix catalog and he kills hendrix so his former roadie
so the thing that's compelling about this is shortly after this his uh girlfriend happy committed suicide air quotes by being thrown off a roof so they got rid of hendrix and they got rid of his girlfriend if that's what really happened so that he was the benefactor allegedly of the guitarist two million dollar life insurance policy two million dollars okay worth around 1.2 million in 1970 according to right jeffrey told him about the crime in 1971 a year after the 27 year old hendrix was found dead in a london hotel he said i had to do it tappy right claims the manager said you understand don't you i had to do it you know damn well what i'm talking about we went round to his hotel room got
a handful of pills stuffed them into his mouth then poured a few bottles of red wine deep into his windpipe hendrix was found dead at the samarkand hotel on 18th of september 1970 the cause of death was recorded as barbiturate intoxication and inhalation of vomit i can still hear the conversation right wrote of jeffrey's confession see the man i'd known for so much of my life his face pale hand clutching at his glass in sudden rage hendrix manager died in a plane crash in 73 so this guy's dead supposedly did this listen man they did that back then they were gangsters there was gangsters running everything if there was a lot of money to be made scary people moved in and it became a real problem
yeah man gangsters own a lot of stuff that a lot of people wouldn't want to own like a gay club uh-huh yeah like in l.a they own all the gay clubs they were not rated because they were paying this episode is brought to you by better help people like to throw around all these red flags you know things someone says or does that you don't like which is fine but instead of focusing on the negative all the time why don't we focus on the positive if you're looking for a romantic partner think about what traits you like to see in a person if you like to work out and stay in shape you might want to find someone who's also health conscious or if you like to travel you probably want to find
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therapist discover your relationship green flags with better help visit better help.com slash jre to get 10% off your first month that's better help h e l p dot com slash jre but if you want to talk about something like that like would would would a manager kill a client for a life insurance policy back then yeah i read they didn't even have dna back then man i read this where i didn't it's like crazy right my mom didn't like albis she liked the beetles right and i asked my mom how come you don't like fucking albis he's badass too oh because albis said that i'd rather sleep with have kids a dog than a mexican woman and i said when did he say that and he goes he said it
then i found out later on when i went in a rabbit hole it was a colonel the colonel spread that the colonel spread that because he wanted he wanted to keep him in america and not tour like anywhere the colonel was an evil dude man yeah that that by the way that tom hanks performance is fucking fantastic in that elvis movie where he plays the colonel yeah is you know when you see it like you appreciate how a guy can really like become a different person like he becomes this creepy manager guy this manipulative gambling creepy manager guy i mean it's fucking genius man it's so good like you're really you that's what's crazy you forget that's tom hanks you're like oh but you
really got a sense of the relationship that elvis had with this dude because those guys that get crazy look there's famous and then there's elvis famous in the 1960s and you don't even understand what that means no one understands what that means and he was the first one to be like that imagine that i know man imagine walking into a room you just go you want to kiss and they kiss but just imagine just trying to navigate life as a human being and you're literally the most desired person to be around alive like you can't walk down the street people scream and they cheer and they run at you women faint they cry and there's never been someone like that before that's what's crazy
because this is the first time you've seen a guy on television and he's on television shaking his hips and so they go crazy no one's ever done that huh no no you never had a pop star on tv shaking his hips like he's fucking yeah it was too much did they cover it up the first time i think they did something where they were upset at him because they didn't know he was gonna do it i think it was like i think he was actually gonna get fined in some places like you weren't allowed to shake your hips like that like this is how crazy being elvis was badass this is one video or picture of elvis that i like besides the one you have here you know the rested when he's um he's playing outside an outside event and he's
wearing all black and he's fucking young as hell and the pop of door looking good the blue other shiny like bro and everybody fainting and there was no elvis before elvis that's what's crazy so he's like this one guy that becomes way more famous than any entertainer ever and then he's got an evil manager and then he's doing pills and then he's just living in paranoia and the whole world don't make any sense nothing makes any sense it can't make any sense you have no peers you have no one around you that's like you no one around you that can understand you and you're being protected by some guy who's like siphoning money from you he was doing shit little gigs right like he'll leave who do like a two-hour
show and then leave go do another two-hour show somewhere else well i think he got into a financial bind right isn't wasn't that a part of the movie and then he got that vegas residency bro the vegas residency is probably convenient because you don't have to go anywhere you know you know where you live you know where the gig is like carrot top seems to like it but i don't think i could do that but a free musician though like alvis it's great yeah oh yeah but even like comics can do it a lot of comics do it you know it's i just don't know about living in vegas i lose my mind being in the same place seven days a week 14 shows the people that live outside of vegas love it though if you live
like in like henderson or some of those places like they're very very nice places but it's still you're still connected to this place where people go to get psychotic like you know there's some weird energy about that i listen there's not a knock on vegas i love vegas look i love new york city ari fucking loves living in new york city i can't live in new york city i can't handle all that i gotta get the fuck away some people love it you can use everybody can love everything but it just seems like that it's like vegas is a uniquely crazy place people go there specifically like we're gonna go go to vegas it's like it's in the title of the state means craziness you went vegas every day
probably like 50 000 people show up it's every day and then you got rodeos coming into town and UFC fights coming into town and fucking concerts raider fans it's a fucking wild ass town i i love being there i just don't know if i could live there i just it seems like it's almost a little too crazy so this is ed sullivan show 1956 this is the only time this is the first time his hips show up on the screen it's 10 minutes into this yeah he was wiggling his dick too much that's all he was doing though that's a lot jamie what do you mean that's all he was doing it that's offensive after this aired they said they wouldn't air him from the waist down anymore in that crazy but they obviously
it's barely it's barely shown it's so great bro he probably had it look his big old dick keeps slapping at his jacket that's what it is look if you see that side back it up a little bit that's what the problem is jamie look at that jacket popping up and down from his big old Elvis dick look at it he didn't assemble with it bro he's he's making his jacket pop with his dick i'm with the censors i'm with the censors of course he had a big dick he had everything he had everything he had voice talent beautiful you think he's gonna have a little dick hell no man all those gifts how tall is he i don't know he's probably at least six feet tall 21 years old there 21 kid man
how can you manage that how can you navigate that at 21 years old it's him i know man bro it's him and michael jackson these are the two case studies and people that got too famous but sometimes i wonder man like how would i handle that much success at that early age bro you wouldn't i know you wouldn't you would go crazy how about you crazy i would have been sitting with a big fucking cold sore yeah dude i got lucky my my fame ascent was a slow drip you know like over time oh bro a slow drip mine was like the little mountain guy on um on the price is right kick it kick it kick it kick it and then stopping along the way bunch of haters
fighting with other comics coke here yeah hang around at el compadres too long with joy diaz el compadres is a spot 64 years ago today more than 60 million people watched elvis presley perform on the ed sullivan show el 60 million that's so crazy but that's how it used to be man when and that's why losing control of that is so devastating to mainstream media that was what it was when i was a kid there was three channels dude there was nbc abc and cbs and that was it and then all of a sudden there was fox and we were crazy we got a whole nother channel you had local channels too though in your neighborhood yeah yeah yeah we definitely did especially yeah we all had everyone has local
channels so you always had like the local nbc network which you need those somebody gotta play karate movies yeah we didn't even have cable like it didn't exist we had like you have to realize how nuts the world was when everything you watched on television was just television that's all you ever saw like there's no cable so you have four channels if you're and you felt so lucky to have that fourth channel you got the simpsons married with children came on that channel fox changed the whole in living color changed the whole like feeling different what a channel it's crazy that fox is now connected to like conservative republicans reporting the news but it's like fox when we were kids was married
with children it was you know it was like the renegade shows it was the simpsons it was uh you know there was a bunch of like fun shows that were on shows man living single yeah but in living color to this day yeah i say is one of there's two of the greatest comic like saturn live always gets it for longevity because it's crazy they've been around so long ctv but for like pure funny for me it's like in living color and chapelle show yeah i feel like you don't get chapelle show unless you have in living color first i feel like it there i i feel like in living color broke open the door for chaotic sketches that were like really funny man wildly offensive really funny to this day like there's a lot of shit on
in living color that if you tried to do like in the height of wokeness like three or four years ago bro they would fucking call for your censorship yeah man they will come for you especially when david wayne's and david and grier were doing men on film there's an episode where where fucking the camera falls they gave it two snaps yep the camera falls on david wayne and he becomes heterosexual all of a sudden and then uh david and grier starts touching him he's making your laugh away from me man that episode how about when he played handyman he played uh mentally retarded i love that oh my god that's my favorite movie yeah a handicapped superhero
it was and he made a superhero movie about him handyman he would fly like this dude this this show was wild wildly offensive but so funny even fire marshal bill bro he's making fun of a fire victim i was just gonna bring that up let me tell you something that guy's fucking whole face this is burned off jesus christ my daughter's a bird victim by the way that's harsh bro that's what you'll get yeah it's uh wild that shows like that one bro ahead of his time oh way ahead well so was that other movie we were just talking about that ace ventura ace ventura yeah yes when you find out that she's a trans person and the dick comes out and everybody starts throwing up
first of all i don't buy it even if she had it turned to that photo again that's sean young right that's sean young yeah yeah when she was hot so even if she had a dick there's a lot of guys who'd be like listen nobody needs to know about that dick nobody needs to know about that man that dick is between you and me and i remember one time it happened to me bro i just looked at him and went wow that's a big ass skin tag you got right there dude skin tag whoo yeah all those shows like i mean what are the other great sketch shows mad tv had some bangers mad tv there were some bangers on mad tv but it's another show second
city tv i watched that growing up kids in the hall kids in the hall kids in the hall kids in the hall was fantastic that was great you know um i was a kids in the hall fan but i i didn't really start watching it like really get into it until after i'd met dave like i didn't know much about kids in the hall i knew it was funny i knew everybody said it was funny but i don't think i'd ever even watched a sketch and then i became friends with dave doing news radio and then i started really getting into it i was like oh this that guy had a very unique or still does have a very very unique sense of humor he rewrote like i don't know what percentage 40 of like the lines on news radio like on the set yeah
he rewrites things all the time and he was always like coming up with a better way to do something it always had like a sense of like a pacing is that's a totally different thing man when you're making sketches like sketches like sketches are like to be able to do that and do a lot of like really funny scenarios that are unique that's a very it's hard right the stand-up because we want to end it huh mm-hmm well it's a totally different way of thinking you know gillian keeves is another fantastic one that did that to this day like the problem with that show is like it's got this amazing fan core fan base but it doesn't it's way funnier than the amount of people that have seen it it's way funnier which
is crazy because shane gillis is one of the biggest comics in the world yes he's funny as hell he's one of the biggest comics on or he's selling out arenas everywhere yes but yet people don't realize how good gillian keeves is it's like there's the one where they do the only fans dad it's one of the hardest i've ever laughed in my fucking life it's so funny it's so funny and so crazy and because no one's telling them what to do they're just doing what's funny and that's what got fucked up there were so many fucking nannies around everybody telling everybody what you can and can't say and so many subjects you you can and can't cover like you got to stay out of the way just like the managers in the early days
telling you be clean you need braids you know braids bro with beads and you talk about the beads when you're on stage like what you didn't wear a suit shut the fuck up get out of here i remember one time bro they told me to wear a suit and i wear it and i saw joe deer wearing a suit i said bro you look ridiculous huh joe deer he was wearing a beanie i remember i call him the coca-cola bear he got mad suits are a weird move but they're sometimes fun i've worn suits on stage before it makes you feel different it does it really does do you feel like you're gonna like change your posture or no you just feel like uh more of a motherfucking professional bitch look at this and a well uh tailored suit is what
you really want the kind like modern suits you can move in them like they have like stretch to them which is different than you know when i when i was a kid i thought of suits i thought of like you're handcuffed like you can't move good yeah like you can't kick someone with fucking suit pants on you know you can't move well i know although i would see johnny carson his suits yeah those two look tight as hell well it's just they the fabrics suck back then if you if especially if you're a bigger person you know if you you lift weights or something like that if you have muscles the everything's gonna be constricted and tight and all fucked up it's not gonna fit good so suits now
if you get a good one like i got mine made by uh david august they do them for the ufc and yeah i've had them make a bunch of suits for me they're they're amazing they do it to your actual shape i mean i don't want to make fun of the other guys but you're you're announcing you know you're a big muscle guy but it doesn't look like you're coming out of that suit when you wear it looks real good on you yes because they make it to your shape you know so it's real comfortable fox force man they're about to just come on they're like fucking orangutan bro they're like like mr hyde yeah well you know a lot of those dudes are bigger than me anyway that's it there's a certain
size that you get like if you put the rock in a suit it still looks ridiculous it's like what the fuck are you made out of dude first time i met him backstage at the ufc and he had cowboy boots on right so he's it doesn't even cowboy boots yeah he don't even seem like a real person like when you meet him in real life you're like how what what the fuck are you he's like a like a superhero yeah like you're seeing like a real live superhero and a super nice guy man he came and worked out with us we all worked out tony hinchcliffe derek asan we all fucking lifted weights together hung out got in the sauna shane gillis we're all just chilling with the rock working out with him like no cameras no
nothing i was like let's fuck we don't have to post this let's just have some fun it's like fuck yeah he was cool as shit cool as shit man wow that's amazing man it was fun i enjoyed talking to him good guy i was in the airplane uh at the america delta and i saw jason mamua oh he's another one and i said a little too handsome for me i just said what's up no i don't know how to meet people i always weird people i said jason i just like that jason what's up and then i didn't know that we were sitting almost close together on the airplane then he saw me again bro then i said what's up then i felt like i creeped him out again man and then my wife was recording him bro recording him
but i was on my phone he thought i was recording him but i met him in a whole foods parking lot i met him in a whole foods parking lot in woodland hills i was going to pick up some groceries and he was there too i was like what's up man how you doing what's going on we're talking i think that was before he did conan which i i still say to this day the movie's not good like the conan movie it's kind of falls apart but the way it looked was amazing and he played conan and he's the perfect conan like that's what conan would have looked like he wouldn't look like a bodybuilder no disrespect to arnold because he looked amazing but it's like conan was just a big giant warrior and when he
played that guy what was the guy he played on game of thrones crackle or something like that i can't remember it was fucking incredible at that he played with like that's conan man yeah that's conan someone needs to do a good conan the barbarian movie go back and read the robert e howard books the books are great it's this super depressed dude in like the 1930s there he is about this barbarian yeah khal drago that's right there we are two people get mistaken by bro get it get a photo of him when he was conan jason momoa has conan
bro he's the perfect conan right there that's what conan's supposed to look like that's how i'm supposed to look that's the perfect conan that's the conan you believe is real that's a guy throwing a sword around his whole life fighting off dragons he's not a bodybuilder no he looks like that that's what it looks like in the book like that's fucking conan we're identical that's conan i mean someone needs the guy's still capable of playing this character someone please me i wish quentin tarantino was into conan quentin if you're hearing me please read the books quentin tarantino doing conan would be the most epic thing of all time could you imagine he would do it right or beast master if he was into
it he would have to be into it i have no idea if he's into it but if he was into it if quentin tarantino might do it somebody should it'll start with the the ending it'll be like the ending of the movie in the beginning and confused somebody should do this the but the books are great man because it's it's all from the mind of this tortured depressed dude who winds up killing himself it'll be the first time that you see a conan movie with everybody saying the n-word all wearing over i don't think they had that word back then i think if you want to do it right they'll make it they'll make one up i think if they really wanted to do it right they should probably do it the way like mel gibson did apocalypto
that was a badass fucking movie but you felt that movie right but you know i'm saying like hearing the people say it and the same thing he did with the passion of the christ they spoke in the language and it was all subtitles like they spoke in the language so you were transmitted exactly how these people were saying you felt like it was real like apocalypto you felt like it was real like there was no english in that movie that it is a blockbuster movie that is a wild action adventure movie then we hardcore man passion of the christ there's something about being sucked into hearing the actual language of the people that would be doing this that's so much better than because like whenever they do like
game of thrones or something like that in another country also nobody has an english accent yes that's how they do it instead of talking like an american you can't talk like us because that would just throw people off so you have to have some sort of a proper way of the exorcist man like if the exorcist the devil would have had like an irish accent it would have been totally different movie but but the latin accent the whatever language latin language right right right yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly you don't even know what the language is but you're fucking scared right it has to be exotic you can't have the devil going hey you fucking piece of shit i'm gonna fuck your eyeballs you better get out of
my garage yeah you can't have the devil talking like jerry seinfeld i speak in absolutes yeah you can't have the devil with a whiny voice or a boston accent that was the scariest thing about mike tyson he's the antith voice it's like voice that was so easy to make fun of and he fucking murdered everybody he was like it was almost like he was begging you to make fun of his voice dangerous dudes yeah it was almost like he was like begging you you're like like you bro you're like you're like one of those guys you're like um to someone that doesn't know you personally you're like try me no i'm not like that at all though i'm real if i didn't know you and i saw you
walking down the street and you're not joe rogan i'd be like okay man this guy's good fight he's healthy stay away from him i'm friendly that's what we all need my friend we need friends but you've been friendly since day one though i was talking to the your driver um um rebel about um when you gave me that solo pipe and then um you say you start using it because of butane yeah and i remember um i was telling you that the reason it's called solo pipe because you're supposed to use it by yourself but i remember i told everybody you gave it to me and everybody wanted to hit it and by the time i got it back it was fucking hot yeah i remember those things i i try to stay like i think if you're
smoking a cigar like butane is the way to go you know you burn the end of it but you don't want to like keep doing it you want to i feel like a certain amount of this is a chemical no matter what like that's a chemical you only want so much of that you really should probably have matches if you're gonna light if you're gonna smoke a cigar matches yeah you should really probably have matches and i think if you're like a super cigar nerd they do it even further they take cedar and they light cedar strips and they use that to to light their cigar those are super nerds cedar strips what is that strips dog pieces of wood they light little strips of wood and they light from pure wood
then they light their cigar there's super nerds when it comes to cigars like they get into oh that's what that guy said um guys in new york give me some ember give me some ember ember oh that's that's that's that em what is ember fire oh oh shit yeah so these guys they they take little cedar strips they light them on fire and they light their cigar from the cedar strips so this way you're not getting any of the butane fumes i don't even know how much you would get i don't you know get better later yeah sure you know how to work it no think back we're probably gonna find out every time you burn a lighter near you you inhale like 10 times more than you're ever supposed to in
your life we'll probably find something like that out someday it can't be so good to have convenient fire like fire that quickly means like you've got some funky gases that you're burning you're burning some funky gases in the air oh horrible because i remember like lighting a match and you get the ugly you know what's real bad what scented candles scented candles apparently are not healthy jamie google that um maybe i should say some scented candles maybe there's a way to do it uh organically we should find out if that's true too because that would be a good thing to know because i think there's some things in some scented candles that you're not supposed to inhale and when you're uh a person that
likes to have candles and who doesn't they're cool you want to have candles in your house that's dope like candlelight dinner with a bunch of friends that's dope right but i think it's the scented ones the ones that are made from paraffin the problem it's a cheap byproduct primarily sourced from the refinement of petroleum so you're burning petroleum paraffin is the most used candle wax worldwide according to the national candle association the major trade association representing u.s candle manufacturers and their suppliers so it's all candles made from paraffin however few studies on candle emissions or their potential effects on human health exist and conclusions from the research
are mixed there is no overall conclusion that paraffin candles will either uh excuse me either will or won't harm your health says pulmonologist dr sobia farooq a clinical assistant professor at the cleveland clinic learner college of medicine but the risk may also depend on various factors including candle type and quality how often and how long you're burning it the airflow and the space where you're burning it your health status and more well either it's not good for you or it's fine it's these are the options and it seems to me like there's a little gas lighting going on here like how could it be good for you to have petroleum burning in your house i want you to show me a study that's like
tell to measure the fucking air in the room when you have three candles measure the air in the room when you have four candles measure keep going tell me when i'm gonna get lung cancer from this shit because wow yeah benzene a known carcinogen is another voc released released by paraffin candles hawk uh added long-term exposure to this chemical has been linked to blood disorders such as leukemia when inhaled benzene can also be a respiratory irritant which means it could probably yeah fuck
fuck so people think candles are cool it's like man but what about what is what is a candle that you can use like can there's got to be candles that are not bad i hope all those candles that i've got in a massage parlor who are safe new candle oh now candles made from soy wax beeswax or stearin coconut oil or animal fats are often considered healthier but anything that is burned emits harmful particulates or chemicals evan said so these candles also release vocs into the air it's just that paraffin wax is usually more polluting according to oh great so they all suck the risk of toxic emissions is greater when candles are scented or dyed which is another reason why paraffin free candles aren't immediately
in the clear this this is because artificial fragrances have vocs including phthalates which have been linked to learning and behavior problems obesity impaired development of the reproductive systems and more evan said the unscented candle in the 2015 research also caused concerning concentrations of toxins but had the lowest amount compared with its scented counterparts yeah by what ratio i wonder how much lower candle oh the national candle association maintains that candles are safe for use in the home a spokesperson said in a statement first of all you can't totally say anything's safe because i i was dating a girl once and she burnt her
fucking house down with candles that's exaggerating she burnt a wall in her house what was she doing she just let her candles burn down and something caught fire and it like lit the side of her fucking bedroom hall like her wall was on fire she liked candles so they're not totally safe it's fire fire's not totally safe fucking lighters aren't totally safe you can't say it's safe like you could you could definitely do something stupid with it like you know what's safe marshmallows marshmallows are safe if you light them it's not good to eat they're bad for your body but they're fucking safe they're not gonna kill you like i'll let you burn
them to make s'mores with a lighter and a fork you know what's supposed to be really bad for you paper straws paper straws have those forever chemicals in them see if that's true otherwise we'll have to cut this out without getting sued by the paper straw industry oh speaking of straws right everybody knows that paper straws came around because everybody saw that video of that turtle with that straw in his nose that's the only reason why we started looking at paper straws different than everything else right paper or plastic plastic okay plastic straws came about what did i say paper plastic straws came about because of that video of that turtle with the plastic straw in his nose
right remember that yeah that was in the nose right yeah deep deep in the turtle's nose new studies found that 90 of paper straws tested contained forever chemicals or pfas compared to 75 of plastic straws so even plastic straws have those fucking chemicals in them but it's even worse for you to use paper straws paper straws assessed by researchers at university of antwerp belgium and were found to contain more forever chemicals per poly fluorol cool fluorol
how do you say that give it a shot philly bay poly fluorol fluorol yeah substances or pfas is then plastic but all of them are bad for you what it's basically saying is that even straws 75 of plastic straws
have tested that they contain forever chemicals that's not good so all of it's bad we should probably abandon the idea of straws i like mcdonald's straws the big fat one here's what you don't want a metal straw and a stanley and then fall on your face okay because people have done that idiots
well listen i've fallen before oh you know somebody i've no but i've fallen before i'm i'm an idiot no i haven't but i would imagine like i would you know just because you fall with a straw doesn't mean you're an idiot but people got to be aware that that's basically a metal shank that's going to go right through your face
if you trip you got to carry that thing if you're like clumsy like as if you're carrying a knife like move it away from your body you know don't catch your body with it if you fall down and then stab yourself in the face i know man you you wouldn't let your baby hold that while you're holding it yeah yeah why are you holding that you're not ready for that yet you ain't ready well especially if you're clumsy clumsy people should really know they're clumsy and be super careful with what they're carrying
are you clumsy yeah man don't carry a rake i was outside over there going i was holding that baseball and i'm thinking i'm holding that baseball and i'm looking at the werewolf and i'm thinking let's look at my wife i bet you i could throw a knuckleball and make it right in the fucking werewolf mouth you're gonna something up sit down yeah don't up my werewolf bro that's one of my prized possessions and even if you could hit it what does that prove you don't want to break the werewolf's teeth what are you trying to prove felipe
i still could throw a knuckleball were you a good baseball player hell no no but you had a good knuckleball or no no i was good at playing street ball with a tennis ball and i could make i had a good junk on a tennis ball and we would put over like a regular fastball yeah not to make that shit man that was good dude we used to play stickball on the street that was fun we were kids i don't get that game i i i wikipedia the other day to learn how to play because they're having like a a stickball tournament in new york last week when i was there yeah that's the video i saw yeah
that's yeah they were having a tournament other veterans that used to play stickball new york showed up to play oh we slid yes bro bro but i never knew the game because in l.a we play over the line that's a good way to get a staph infection look at that sliding on concrete good way they're getting pumped yeah that looks like a guy who plays really good stickball yeah it's a city thing a broomstick right when i played it when i lived in jamaica plain which a little place outside of uh boston we played that we should play stickball on the street people get mad at you they hit their car with a tennis ball it was stupid but kids are just always
looking for something to do back then now they're all online i used to play crazy games growing up bro that um i don't pretty sure kids don't play that anymore i used to play this game this game called huevos which called eggs we used to put like a bunch of holes on the floor with your name on it and then somebody will throw a tennis ball and wherever the ball lands on that hole that person has to grab that ball and fuck somebody up in the back before they get it make it to the wall and um that person you hit has to grab that ball and then hit people on the way back before they get to the other side of the wall and if you miss everybody you get an egg on your on your little hole and once you get four of them
we all take turns fucking you up with a tennis ball while you're just standing there like this jesus christ yeah there was no cable back then and we didn't want to join gangs i think you did and we don't want to read you guys had a soft core gang we didn't have no boy scouts that's a crazy way to make friends and we have you together to play suicide though i don't remember how's it go it's a handball court a wall and you throw a ball and there's five kids and you catch it but if you miss it everybody starts fucking you up no i never play you make it to the wall no i never played suicide never played everybody stand by the wall and you throw the ball against
the wall you try to catch it and if you miss they fucking jump you till you get to the wall with the ball fuck that oh that's what i got videos of it oh my god oh requires at least two players can have as many as can be accommodated by the playing area but this is funny when they take a game like this and they break it down like these are the rules we did play wall ball we did we call it wall ball you got it like that it was honestly yeah so if you if you fucked up you'd have to stay on the wall people could throw the ball there it is right there they're all ball until the player touches the wall they're open to be pegged struck hard with a thrown ball by the player who caught it if a
player become comes into contact with the ball but fails to catch it they are also open to be pegged i mean that's what it was it's a tough word to use that's what it is getting hit by a tennis ball is a good thing to get hit by though right it sucks like if someone's throwing it it sucks but it's not gonna kill you there's always this asshole kid that didn't like that kid that was gonna get hit and he'll put that fucking ball in a shitload of water and mud oh that's a problem he's cheating he can't cheat oh also remember um if that person that put the game hit by the ball runs home we'll fuck we'll fucking chase him home or beat him up in front of his mom
boy that's why cable's important yes that's why uh the internet is important youtube you gotta keep people pacified tick tock saved your life imagine if it did imagine if it saved a few lives people just at home scrolling instead of out gangbanging you know i mean everybody gets addicted to it if you just you don't go out and do terrible things because you just scroll and stare at your tick tock i know man i wonder if kids do shoplift for fun i bet they do you know there's been like famous people that have been caught shoplifting i think a lot of people who shop you shop when you were little i did you were hungry i got no no no i was
just dumb and young and uh i got caught you don't do it now right no you see opportunity no no no no i did it like a couple times ever it was like candy bars and shit when i was i was just hanging around with a bunch of bad kids and we would do that we would go it was like it was a thrill you'd go to a store and steal something and uh i think we probably did it two or three times and i got caught i don't do it anymore but i felt so stupid i know but sometimes i'm walking around and i see like um like a pack of donuts but they're far from where donuts are right like they're by the shoe and they're open and i'm like i'm all high looking at the donut but damn you're lost joey diaz used to swipe
lighters from 7-eleven just to stay sharp he put he had money he put he had money he would swipe lighters just to stay on his toes how you doing brother i saw him i saw him do that while he's talking to the guy and he put his knickers yeah he's get some hand movements to distract you i think that was a game man and road commies would do bro on the way to a gig who could shoplift the most out of the gas station that's not good for our reputation that's not good for our reputation what'd you get power bars traveling entertainers you get power bars gas station food man those those times when you're on the road and all you're eating is garbage hell yeah man you gotta buy a
grilled cheese there and put on pork rinds in there from the package you gotta take a chance with the bean and cheese burrito that you microwave you have to like open that strip of plastic those were good though they were good when you were hungry ramona's every now and then you got like good food at a gas station you're like why doesn't everybody do this like sometimes you go to a gas station and it's like a gas station but it's also like a taco spot fried chicken cheeseburgers you're like damn those cheese that looks like a legit fucking cheeseburger okay where am i this place is dangerous here i mean you would make more money right that's what bucky's figured out you go whatever
the you want we gotta do we got barbecue pickled dicks let's go we got eggs cheese milk you could buy a house you can buy a fucking sled what do you need fishing poles would you need a you need a hamburger what else yeah yeti cooler and a traeger grill we got those we got a shower in a bag if you want a shower they're making a disney bucky's and it's gonna have rides you know there's a lawsuit going on with bucky's there's a they're claiming that these people copied their logo which one the chuckies no there's another spot that has like another kind of an animal yeah they do that with all that's knock on they knock off and that wherever that is they knock off all sorts of stores i'll try to find
that is it in another country yeah i think so oh i thought it was in america yeah it's in mexico oh interesting oh mexico loves to do that because there's a fake oh i've seen that no no no i've seen that that's not it that's the that's the fake bucky's in mexico put that picture up again put that picture up again oh my god so there's a fake in and out in mexico too oh that's so funny man and there's a fake in and out in california i've seen the fake in and out of mexico there's a fake one in california yeah it's called easy takeout and i think they used to be the same same uniforms same stand same burgers but
they just added a breakfast burger it's called easy takeout in west covina wow so they copied the the logo it's very similar here they're oh lucky this is what the lawsuit is about same city to temple lupus mexico oh yeah they even got a little gap in between it bucky's knockout lucky spotted he's lucky to have two teeth but that's the one in mexico right james but they both i told you they both but i don't think this other one is in mexico i might be wrong month ago two months ago bucky's taking legal action against mexican company shut up it's the one thing i came up by like i was looking okay well what was that animal that was like a he the bucky's is a beaver right so what was that
other animal was the lucky who's lucky is lucky a rabbit like what is lucky lucky is also a beaver okay oh my god no let me see let me see let me see where's lucky's what a bunch of dumb asses oh my god it is a beaver what is it he went on so oh it's a raccoon oh it's a raccoon oh okay no you can't do that he's a mask man he's a bandito why can't you do that though why can't you have harry's or how about george's and have curious george they're good you know get together a little franchise curious george everybody loves curious george would that be okay like if they have george's or would they get sued or a different lawsuit let's
see there is a different lawsuit superfuels trademark infringement let me see because you imagine if like the owners whoever owns the yeah this is even this is a little whoa because it's like i think that's superfuels that's the one i saw superfuels so there's it's just they're saying it's because it's got a smiling animal and the red hat see i don't know i'm not on board with that one i'm not on board with that one i can't think that you could own the idea of having any kind of cute animal as a part of your logo that seems kind of ridiculous i don't understand copyright law but doesn't that seem like a little ridiculous to you yeah like what if it's a what if it's a cat and you
make it kitties and you have a cute little cat are you telling me that i can't make a business called kitties that depends where you're where you're doing business at and how how much of a copyright you have kind of like is it nationwide did you have an international copyright which is really tough right but is that a copyright infringement if you have kitties it depends on what if you're not doing the same business imagine someone has a copyright to the ability i don't understand any of this stuff so clearly i'm talking out of my ass but imagine if somebody has a copyright to just owning the ability to use a cartoon character in your logo that seems completely insane doesn't it yeah
but um what's his name um this is comedy club and um tommy t's he used to have the lauren hardy the the the what you call it the lauren hardy logos lauren hardy yeah it was like yeah and um for his comedy club and he got uh he got sued by um bozo the clown he owned the bozo owned laurel and hardy yeah the the the the cartoon any anything that you put cartoon on it with laurel hardy's face imagine going back watching laurel hardy imagine showing somebody that had no idea about american culture at all yes going back and you show them laurel hardy and then right after you show them chapelle's show when dave plays the blind white supremacist yes black yeah that guy but imagine
imagine seeing like what this is what comedy started out as and this is comedy later that is a wild ride yes man that's a wild ride the ride from like abbott and costello yes who's on first who's on for eddie canter bro who's eddie canter eddie canter was the first comedian to do radio and um and um he was because i have a history for fools podcast so i learned about the the history of stand-up comedy plus i read that i watched the documentary but he was one of the first guys but he was like he was very clean bro he sang and um can we hear some of this here's some of this he was getting paid 500 for five minute shows
on radio he was the first part right guys to have a radio comedy show what is it i'm trying to hear what he's saying what is he saying he's thinking some vaudeville nonsense the dumb ones know how to make love yeah jesus christ the dumb ones know how to make love that sounds like something theo would say on stage and um i like him dumb he'll be on the radio bro talking and then he'll pinch the chicks in their butts oh god yeah and then like they wouldn't say nothing they finally a woman said something mr canter and he had a fire hmm well i gotta remember
like people back then were basically barbarians yeah 1920s people bro back then it was world war one bro back then for a stand-up comedian like when i found out was imagine you do a gig two hundred dollars back then right and the promoter says no i'm not gonna the gangsters i'm not gonna pay you and that's you don't get paid and they'll call the cops you had a couple of three vagrants walking around downtown and then you're three comedians walking around town with no hotel no pay and they're gonna pick you up for being a hobo now yeah you could get stiffed for sure but that was back then bro yeah for the hard time imagine from then to now well i think there's
probably still a lot of shit games like that out there for a lot of guys that are coming up but it's just now there's more real gigs yeah better gigs well it's uh comedy is more accessible you know because of youtube and everything comedy is just way it's everywhere you know like you're special oh tell everybody oh i have a special right now what a segue yeah i have a special right now on netflix raging fool we shot at the crest theater in sacramento two shows my wife directed it and nice executive produced she executive produced all my specials but um we shot it with our own money and we paid everybody and then we we sold it to netflix we made like a two-year deal oh that's awesome
so we all great i love the tracksuit yes because of raging bull because raging fool got it raging bull i love the tracksuit it's dope because i was watching that movie raging bull yeah and i was thinking that uh when jake lamotta had nothing left to do in his life he had nothing how to make money right he said you know what i'm gonna be a comedian so and i thought like wow he had nothing else to do with his life so he figured out that i'm gonna do stand-up comedy because that was the last thing and for us it's like the first thing well that happens with actors sometimes too when their careers kind of dwindle they start doing stand-up that happens and yeah
like he when he was you saw the movie right raging bull when he's doing stand-up and um he's at the he's at a bar called um jimmy's corner bar and that bar is still there you know stanhope was friends with him really yeah because the guy that guy lived down in arizona where stanhope lived oh that's cool man yeah he's like got photos of him hanging out over his house and shit yeah yeah jake lamotta was stanhope's boy and that's a real story man jake lamotta was a character yeah that was a wild fella a wild crazy fella and goddamn robert de niro narrow fucking nailed it nailed it huh nailed it i mean nailed it like he looked like an animal when he was jake lamotta like the younger jake lamotta
did you fuck my wife yeah oh jesus christ he was so scary he was so scary because he was just out of his fucking mind and so dangerous and it was based on a real guy man i mean the the movie is real close to how that guy was jake lamotta when he was in his prime he was a fucking monster man i like when he looked at his hands and he goes like he don't like his hands because they're not they're not big i guess he goes i can never be a heavyweight yeah yeah isn't that crazy crazy that's crazy that's a different kind of human man and back then there was a lot of people like that this is you got to go back and put your mind into what it must have been like to be jake lamotta growing up and like what so what what year was
jake in his prime what year did he fight sugar ray robinson let's ask that jake lamotta versus sugar ray robinson 62 59 42 42 42 okay madison square garden 1942 so you gotta imagine wow you gotta just put your mind into the type of people that lived back then i mean like cars were new sewage was new like people had been coming over in boats crim criminals were everywhere crime was everywhere organized crime was the the rule of the law in all the italian communities the irish communities you know that was the thing 42 wow yeah this was just the united states it's like you ever watch that movie uh gangs of new york yes fucking great movie right that's a fucking great movie and probably
pretty accurate yes roughly pretty accurate the way life was back then some of those gangsters that were in that movie were actually real people i believe it like that woman in that movie i think you talked about it the one need to collect ears and put them in a jar yeah yeah she was an actual one real person she had a bar where people where people would just put have a jar full of pickled ears and noses from previous fights oh my god and they'll have fights in the back with a mountain goose fighting a dog oh my god gangs of new york man that movie is so because we don't think of new york that way you think of new york as like new york city well it was kind of dangerous in the 70s then
you know giuliani cleaned it up and then you know it's pretty commercialized in a lot of ways it's still a beautiful city but new york during the time of that when whenever that film was supposed to represent was a wild crazy almost like wild west type place like we think of wow we think of those kind of scenes when you think of a wild west movie right right you think yeah the good bad and ugly yeah you think of people getting stabbed and shot but that was happening over there too it's like it's not like it never happened on the east coast and they only did it on the west coast on people it was happening in the whole country the whole and they they had just gotten i mean
these people just gotten done with a civil war right yeah because back then you gotta think 1940 you go to like the 1860s to the 1940s that's not that much time no that's pretty quick that's 80 years 80 years a lot of those fuckers are still alive yeah same mentality same craziness and then you got more immigrants coming in on boats no youtube to watch just a women of prayer someone told them to come i always think about that man like when the when the jesus i always yeah her she supposedly was real she was maggie how cat maggie jesus i think about uh the when the the irish are coming in at the same time when that that movie is happening and they told him you want a free meal
you want to fight for your country and they give him a uniform and their families go off to new york and they go off to fight the south jesus christ just imagine coming out of the boat and someone just has you a gun and a piece of bread and go go fight for america and i think about that like why some hardcore people right there man you want yeah yeah yeah hardcore people and different times man desperate yeah and people look old older than than they do now oh yeah they look old quick yeah like you look at a person's photo and you go how old is that kid he looks like 70 i have 25 year old kid working in a coal mine yeah working in coal mines those people all got sick they all got up i mean that's
environmental pollution that you're signing up for like you're gonna go breathe cold dust no matter what yeah everyone gets they all get horrible fucking that what is that black lung black that's terrifying terrifying and then you've got people that just live around coal plants and they're breathing that and they don't even they're not even a part of that business i know man like wilkes bar pennsylvania bro there's a place that we uh showed a video once it was uh was it indiana jamie yeah yeah so there's like three coal plants near this city and these people they can wipe their windshield and they have black soot on their fingers it just falls in america yeah it's in america so
these people are for sure breathing that shit in philadelphia pittsburgh indiana indiana yeah that's scary that's scary and and that's a fraction of what's going on in china bro oh yeah because when i was um i was in um i was in seattle and i was waiting i was crossing the waiting for the car to pass i was going to my show and i saw a it was like a two a mile train and it was all coal coal real black coal coming from minnesota and i asked the cop that was what standing there i didn't know we still mind coal and he goes wow we we don't use it but uh it's all going to china really yeah like it was like a mile bro of coal and um and it had no cover on it that's great it was just falling off
they say that um well i don't know how much coal flies i don't know shit about coal but i just know what the guy told me there was a mile train of coal coming from minnesota on that one line and there was a boat i could see the boat where it was going wow and it's all going to china yeah yeah they're full steam ahead with coal hey someone should check to see if maybe they know something we don't i know man what are they producing all that coal they're doing a lot i mean they produce so many of the things that we need which is one of the craziest things we all found out when everything got locked down is you couldn't get anything because so much of what you wanted was made in china
like oh my god or made in russia or made in anywhere where they had to come in on a ship you know like that became a real fucking problem i thought it was made in akron ohio they hardly make shit here in comparison to what we consume we consume way more probably i would guess than any country of a similar size and yo dog still rocking the samsung i love it i love when a comic holds out and doesn't go iphone oh no man i like the bigger phone and a little pen you like the pen i love the one of those guys which one is that the um is that the s24 yeah that one that was 24 ultra yeah yeah is that the newest one or the one right
before right before it there's a new one that just came out it's pretty dope a year and a half ago i think no yeah that's the old one that's the s24 ultra i have that one that one's sick it does a lot of cool shit good videos right yeah it's great great a lot of stuff but what the interesting thing is the ai so what i like about it is i can go uh to a website and if i open it up in the samsung browser and then i'll i can say summarize and it'll summarize the website for me oh they didn't know that yeah so if there's some thing that's taking forever for you to get to the point because you want me to keep scrolling and scrolling and scrolling and scrolling and scrolling while you show ads all over the place
that's a trap so it'll just tell you oh there's an asteroid that might hit earth within the next you know fucking 60 years like oh great there's a three percent what is a percent chance thank god only 1.5 percent i think i take a picture is like uh i could take a picture of you right and then do that one screen yeah and then i circle it and it'll find a sweater for me yeah that's cool yeah that's really cool that's uh i think that's available on all phones now i think the new iphone update has that as well where you can google search a thing and it'll show you where to buy it that's what my wife always wanted she wanted like to have it where you're watching television and you pause it with your
finger and make a circle and then it just ships to your house you know when people are going to be fed up with that thing when um first of all you can only buy so much shit but second i'm like what what happens like you know those those glasses that they wear now those meta glasses have you seen this harvard the one that you could record yeah i guess in those some harvard kid figured out how to use facial recognition software with that so he sees you gets a photo of you immediately gets a wikipedia on you or whatever the is available online sees your instagram page finds your address and it was wild you're like wait hit
the brakes sound like the t1000 terminator yeah it's like hit the brakes hit the brakes but i don't think they can wasn't there a movie like that yeah there's been a bunch of movies yeah we were roddy piper was like that wasn't it oh they live they have the glasses yes right right that was aliens i think about that when you sometimes when you have a guest and go wait a minute he's talking about those glasses from roddy piper similar i think the roddy piper glasses um you put them on you could see what everybody really looked like you could see through the whatever energy field they were projecting these alien creatures that were pretending to be people and there's a lot of people that believe
that now i'm less inclined to believe that but i'm open i wouldn't want to get tricked i mean if there really are people that are actually aliens that are amongst us that look like people and behave like people i actually this is the guy who figured it out yeah this is try to say his name felipe hit me with it i agree what's the first one right there try that oh it's um it's anfo nuyen i think uh k n or dofflo i don't think they say nuy i think they say gwen right because there's been a few fighters in the ufc uh vietnamese fighters that have that um same spelling and i think they say it as can you find out how they say it jamie so it's anfo guin okay i can
see it a little dutch there and uh kane rd fio artifio artifio um so they figured out how to do this making up names now no this is a real name man that just explains anybody can do it my name is whoa but can you scroll so we can explain do you want to how it's possible to do it today how to remove your information oh geez literally like the instructions so just showing how to remove your face from face or search engines which you're not going to be able to do eventually it's getting weird out there felipe black face green face bro i had a friend of mine who came in here the other day and he's down to a flip phone and his flip phone was interesting because it has
a android on it his flip phone you could actually get text messages on it and you have a little tiny ass screen on the flip phone where you can kind of clumsily type your way through a sentence so you don't have to do it with like a full keyboard like an iphone or your phone but you also it's inconvenient so you don't text as much you don't go on these long-winded diatribes like a lot of people do you just real simple the whole screen is on there but you gotta navigate all the way around to read everything yeah i remember those it's a tiny little ass screen yeah it's got regular buttons to make phone calls and then on his little tiny ass screen is a tiny ass keyboard about that big
and you get in there with that tiny ass keyboard and you try to type a text message and you can press send and so it's inconvenient so you don't go on twitter you don't check things out you just get your text messages it can do other stuff if you absolutely fucking need it to but live your life bitch and he was in here with that i was like man that seems cool but i like watching youtube on my phone so i don't know what to tell you that sounds like the larry bubbles brown from san francisco yeah he still has the flip phone david tell wow david tell has a flip phone yeah you should see him text me it's hilarious do they both have the original phone numbers when you first met them
no no they've all changed numbers you have to change every now and then it's you know you gotta purge gotta keep moving i think i thought i still have my same phone number for the last 20 years damn one of those dudes a holdout yeah yeah sometimes that's good but it gets annoying sometimes you know it's all in um you gotta manage you change your phone number a lot nice people people i trust you gotta you gotta manage your time yeah you know like in the thing is about a guy like you is like you're headlining you're on the road dudes want to open up for you you get the netflix special they want to hang out with you it's like you gotta manage your time because you can't give
your time away to everybody like there's a certain amount of time you need for yourself if you don't have that time you need for yourself you go off the rails yeah you gotta you gotta take time to recenter all the time all the time and if you're constantly getting this and that you're constantly interacting you're never alone you never fighting with people yeah i like i get in a sauna and i stretch out every day i get down there i fucking stretch everything out when you're doing that you can't do anything else you can't be scrolling on tick tock when you're stretching everything out you got to just go through your routine and then that clears my mind and i feel like if you don't make room for that
you're gonna fuck your life up and i know that there's only so many people that i can entertain and help with stuff there's only so many there's so many people that are just it's a transactional kind of a conversation you're having with them it's not fun it's not like what's up dude hey what's up those are great yeah but then there's a lot of could you do this would you do that will you fly to here and do like hey enough you know so you gotta like know when to change your number what time you get up it depends most days eight i was up at eight eight it's good i'll tell you i'll tell you the story like my bro i'm gonna bet five every day yeah i don't think that's necessary it's the thing
like people always want to do where they want to show themselves that they have the discipline to get up i respect that like jaco does that you know jaco willink no no he is every jaco is uh he's amazing dude he's a former navy seal um who uh is one of the most inspirational guys i know and he writes books on leadership just brilliant guy has an excellent podcast solid dude brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt and he like every morning he takes a photo of his watch it says 4 30 a.m i want to see that guy this is this is every morning when he's waking up you get his shitty iron man i shouldn't say shitty because they're fucking durable as fuck i haven't seen him little iron man triathlon watches oh it
looks like you got a new watch that's a new watch jocko you can't fool me i know your old watch go back to the old watch pictures look so it's every day 4 30 his fucking watch sometimes 4 14 takes a photo of it and then he works out he's just a legit dude wow that's that's dedication so that's him though he likes doing that he likes doing that um but he's not a comedian you know i'm saying i think like for a comedian you can't be that rigid you'll get a little psychotic you can't be that rigid you gotta have discipline but you also gotta have fun you gotta so i don't get up at 4 30 the fuck out of here first of all i'm up until at least midnight almost every night me too i get like most of
my best like writing done and my best ideas when everyone in the house is asleep so when everyone in my house is asleep and i'm up i like that because i'm like oh cool everybody i don't need nobody needs my attention now i can concentrate and i get my i can't concentrate when people are in the house i feel like i should be hanging out and having fun and being with everybody i don't want to lock myself up in my office but that's the only way to write but though for me it's like late at night is where it's at because everybody's asleep and the world feels creepy you know at night the world feels kind of dangerous and fucked up and stupid it's like you know you when you worry about war in the
middle of the night it's like one o'clock in the morning in front of your computer you're writing something on microsoft word you're genuinely worried about war yeah genuinely worried that decisions that people are making in this country are gonna one day come down on us with holy terror one day just in the middle of the city just boom some thermonuclear device that levels a place four times the size of hiroshima instantaneously i think about that kind of late at night and you know right how do you make that funny i don't sometimes some of it's not funny but you there's funny things attached to it there's funny things attached to though just the way we behave it's not real there's nothing funny about
the potential for complete annihilation of the human race but there is something funny about this desire that we have to keep doing the same things we've always done and hope that somehow or another we get it right this time yeah and we're on the verge of war all the time and there's got to be some way to stop that other than funding more war it's got to be a better way to stop that the world the virtual war and um um when you when you first started doing stand-up comedy how many there's been a lot of bridges of real wars huh yeah the first war when i was um so when was desert storm was that 19th other shield which one was which we had this conversation the other shield was with norman
sworskopf that's iraq and that's like 2003 yeah right um the one i'm talking about is desert storm which was like 1990 was it 1990 jamie that says they're the same so they're the same phases oh yeah but the first invasion before we pulled out with george w bush in iraq iraq invaded kuwait on august 20th 1990 yes i remember that one yes okay so when iraq invaded kuwait in 1990 then we went to war with iraq and i was living with my friend jimmy and we were sitting jimmy d'atilio shout out to jimmy we were sitting in uh our apartment in the living room and the war was on tv and we're like holy shit man we're at war i remember
thinking this can't even be real just happened at night right we started watching those the air raids yeah it started as desert shield and then then when we started going after like ham was desert storm yeah and what year was that 90 that's just like a year later it's 91. one so desert shield was to protect and desert storm was to destroy it was dropping off bill hicks had the best material about that oh my god his material about the war was great they have such sophisticated weapons how do you know we got the receipts we love to arm puppet dictators and then fuck them up you know it's like you know it's like
clint eastwood movie pick up the gun you know it's like dirty harry i tell you i know you're thinking yeah that fire for or tell you the truth i kind of forgot myself my favorite one is the unforgiving man when that guy's crying could he kill somebody he goes that's what happened when you kill a man you take away all he ever wanted and all he ever had yeah that movie was the best uh western movie i think ever like of that kind of clint eastwood genre that was almost like he was coming back to update it you know because he had all the bangers you know good the bad and the ugly a fistful of dollars like incredible josie wells yeah oh outlaw josie wells was that was another level too but then
it's like unforgiven was the one where it like really gave you a sense of what it must have been like living in the wild west it was just the people were more real yeah it was like it was more updated to like the movies of that era like the morgan freeman character it was a great movie man that's a great like western movie and just a hard story man that line when they when he goes in there to get those people that killed morgan freeman you just shot an unarmed man yeah he should have harmed himself yeah if he's gonna decorate his place with a friend of mine yeah that was a hardcore movie man that was a hardcore movie you saw the um the um but isn't it funny that we always want
to think about that kind of shit happening out west we don't want to believe that that kind of same shit was happening out east yeah animals everywhere animals animals people were animals back then they were barely hang them high can you imagine if we had to do fucking stand up in 1820 you imagine first of all you're getting sick everywhere because there's no sewage so everybody's just got shit in the streets everywhere you go you're breathing shit fumes you're stepping in shit everywhere that's what i think about now when i watch those movies now like gangs in new york yeah i would i looked over somebody man it fucking stinks oh out there people are ignoring the
fucking stink there's a rotting body right there bro it probably was so rank they didn't have anywhere to get rid of their shit that's the and i read that the the um the little napkin that they had on the you know the the big white wig people they had like a little canker shift but and they would just carry it bro just to and they would have perfume on them they would put in their nose so they would have to smell like oh the poor people well it wasn't just that man it was the shit in the streets because they didn't have cars so they had horses the horses would shit all over the roads and nobody had a job picking it up yet oh dude one job was someone would just put down like a cankerchief so you
could walk over it just clean it up you lazy bitch and throwing like shit water out of uh a pet look at this oh that's all shit imagine breathing that every day there's no way that's good for you you think scented candles are bad for you imagine imagine the people that lived back then you were in us complain you were to buy ultra rays whoa poop once flowed freely in the streets of new york looks that was a poop pipe that would go right down the street jesus christ oh man when i was um at my grandmother's house in mexico they they still had an outhouse to you to they have they have no plumbing bro isn't it interesting because this is a terrible way to live that people insisted on doing
it this way i was thinking the day that they figured it out you'd be like oh my god what the but imagine because you had to figure it out to get it to where it is now right so people had to go through that to get to the manhattan of today where it's all super sophisticated amazing hotels amazing restaurants but why would you stick around have you breathing in shit every day every day you go live on a farm i'd be like fuck this experiment this is terrible this is not for us this is for the benefit of people in the future we're destroying soil men who carted away of america's waste bro you know how sick people must have been back then no antibiotics everybody's breathing in shit you fall you
slip you skin your knee your knee gets infected with staff you die oh man you got in your knee what is that people are gagging as this cart would walk by oh god on a summer day in 1873 a cart stood on sixth avenue in new york city filled to the brink with raw human waste the cart was uncovered its contents exposed to the air and to the passers-by who retched and gagged as they scurried away excrement dipped off the sides of the cart and the sidewalks and gutters were smeared with the stuff the sensual stench was so strong that it could be smelled from more than a block away it was another day in pre sewer america bro meanwhile you're reading here's the thing man this
is after the civil war yeah this is 1873 and you're in an you're in italy reading books talking about the streets are made of code yeah well night soil night soil yeah they used it for um fucking i mean they used it for compost right oh so just it was the name uh euphemistically given a human waste because it was removed from the privies under the cloak of darkness so that polite society would be spared from confronting its own feces as the men carted the crap away leaving a trail of stench in their wake every year in cities across the country thousands of cards brimming with excrement
rattled through the night streets there was an antiquated solution to a modern problem america's cities were full of crap so the people were just throwing the shit in the streets yes oh how much could those guys get paid it's not possible it's shitty they got paid what a shitty job yeah you remember imagine being at a bar one little man oh you get a horse pulled wagon filled with shit that is so crazy so living back then was hell bro we're so lucky and that's how they're going to look at us these future
beings that no longer have war they no longer have greed or anger these future beings that are connected to the hive mind they're going to look back at us like felipe and joe grounds are next to the white house we're living like idiots he's got breasts dunk i bet one of the dumping grounds was a field near the white house where a marsh of washtonian waste putrefied under the president's nose this suggests that this may have been a contributing factor to president harris's untimely death in 1841 since the white house water source was a mere seven blocks downstream oh my god they killed the president with shit water
oh my god he died of dysentery bro this is why you can't trust that the experts are looking out for your health they didn't even protect the president somebody concocted this idea and they never even thought about the potential for ruining all the water that people drink they just said this is a good place to dump all this wow nasty people are so nasty oh man i also think about um that's so nasty and condos back there were probably still sheep's wool right sheepskin sheepskin oh my god i saw a movie where a woman a guy a woman was was she was washing the the contraceptive yeah right after all this white wig guys threw it at her face wow so so she's using the same one for every man oh my god oh christ
so they didn't have uh even by 1880s two-thirds of flushing toilets still just went into a backyard cesspool but read this part here overflowing privy was a sight to behold in james bcabbs 1882 account of new york street life he described one man's yard in which the privy's contents drained down into a street sewer forming a miniature loathsome niagara of night soil the cascading sewage flowed right by the window so that a young so that a man sitting on a chair at the window would not have to only would not have only the odor but also the views of this loathsome matter circulating at his feet in the pool below yeah see this is why everybody was so sick this is but it started
the plague well also like there's no fucking no one's clean cholera outbreak 1849 yeah i would say that is the biggest breakthrough ever in the uh controlling of diseases the biggest breakthrough is sanitation i was just thinking about healthy sanitation using these words dumping grounds in this time period too this is the same time those bones were dumped in the east river with who knows yeah there's not enough vaccines in the world to protect you when you're living like that you know imagine with the pharmaceutical drug companies would try to sell you if you were living like that and they figured out how to counteract all the uh different things
that you're inhaling in the air from human that's so nasty man so nasty so they're dumping bodies well imagine him getting up in the morning waking up in the morning good morning everybody i'm glad you just said that about dumping bodies because i this is a thing i need to send you jamie i'm so glad you brought that up because i read this i don't want to fuck this up i want to figure out what the fuck this actually means um here i'm gonna send this to you jamie it's about uh liquid human remains liquid human remains yeah so with this article saying oh it's like an instagram
thing uh that being fed back to the population via fertilizer on crops that so he's making i don't know i hope i hope it's not true making menudo with people or what i don't know it sounded like they were using it for fertilizer using people for fertilizer and using people for supplements somehow or another like how they're saying you're boiling down a human body compensating the family i don't know but also this there's no dna so what did you need the body for like i don't know what the whole body is dna like what are you saying there's no dna so what did you you broke it down to chemicals so now it's okay so you broke the human body the the container of a soul down to chemicals
and you're gonna pour it on your flowers and that's okay that seems weird no stuff made up it seems weird like what do you how the fuck we should find out how the fuck they do it is there a video we can watch i'm then doing it because what kind of and how they liquefy them with hot water it said hot water and it's and something else they added some other stuff too but whatever man what do we what the fuck is this it oh five years ago oh my god the most eco let's let's listen to this can we no do they put them in there alive no felipe these are dead bodies they're just cooking them cooking them up nice and that's what they get like little bones and pieces
well i want to be cremated but if that's an option you're just talking about it yeah but you don't want your body being resold as fertilizer it's just weird to pour dead people on top of your fucking carrots so they grow better sprinkle me what are they breaking it down to what are they breaking the human body down to that's valuable for them to do that like what is the stuff they're looking for let's find that out first of all we don't even know if it's true yeah no i don't i wouldn't take that as truth i wouldn't even believe that how would they how would this can you google and see if there's other stories that say that i'm looking at me i'm gonna google okay i'm not pushing
you i gotta read oh i understand um whatever it is it seems like you're supposed to leave people alone when they're dead okay we're supposed to be different than everything else on the planet we love each other more than we love anything else you can use monkeys for experiments but some states allow the remaining liquid with its peptides sugars amino acids and captured carbon to be reclaimed and repurposed as fertilizer yo yo they're turning do they have to tell you like how they have to tell you if you're going to buy a haunted house do they have to you know if there's a house where someone killed his old family in it yeah they they have to tell you that you see that oak tree that's of
joe diaz by the way what no they look at like they're making them to a uh soil right so oh right so you see that oak tree right there we use joey diaz we use juic particles that's right cocks like this do you think they have to tell you though that you're buying dead people fertilizer or they just consider it chemicals at that point how do they get away with selling you dead people because it seems like if you had the option hey do you want like manure or dead people it's been around for a long time whoa patented in 1888 they've been boiling people and turn them into fertilizer since the 1800s so we have that machine but not no fucking sewage wow trying to find out where they say that
they've used it for other stuff but the scary thing is what them saying that they use it for calcium deficiencies because that means you're feeding people other people's bones so they can get a source of calcium but that guy's vegan so don't give it to him maybe it's okay because the person consented yeah it's true uh uh formation social seems like a solid place huh so body plus 95 water five percent alkaline basic
chemicals either potassium hydroxide or sodium hydroxide or a combo uh sterile effluent water salt sugars amino acids peptides bone fragments calcium phosphate so that's what they get out of it so they boil it down in this solution and they get out all these different things water salt sugar amino acids peptides and then calcium phosphate and then i guess what do they do with the calcium so if you're buying calcium and you find out it's from dead people they should probably let you know you probably should have to let people know that i drink dead people you would sell a lot if you made it from dead people for sure like if you had a skull and crossbones on the bottle there's a lot of assholes who'd buy that
but then people start looking at that like they'd look at chicken how was he raised what kind of parents did he have oh yeah for sure yeah if you're really into anxiety problems are you really into eating someone what if they were a fucked up person and you take a little bit of their soul inside of you and you go insane bro be crazy man well that's gotta be what's happening with the the cannibals when they get that disease and they all get that they get shaky the prion disease that they get from eating each other the jerry dharma have that i don't think so i think you have to eat spinal tissue you have to eat brain and
spinal tissue and it's a they're called prions the thing about prions is you can't even boil them like you if you cook them at like a thousand degrees i think for like hours it doesn't kill them if if you've been if you ever get to invite to a restaurant they tell you you're just served your human being would you eat it no why would i eat a person or they tell you after man you just ate a well i'd be really mad decomposed acroline body that we made into chicken yeah i wouldn't like that would you like that felipe hell no yeah it would be weird need more salt please remember that movie soylent green do you remember that movie no it's a old old timey science fiction movie but uh people
were being fed soylent green and then this guy figures out that soylent green is made out of people and they're they're serving people like this protein biscuit that's made out of humans oh that sucks yeah but there's people that is that the one that's the old movie right there's people that would do do they end with a woman boiling a foot oh i don't remember that oh maybe i don't remember it was a long time ago i just remember the premise of the movie i probably haven't seen that movie 20 plus i saw one where a guy was called a microwave massacre microwave massacre and this guy murdered his wife in a microwave and no he cuts he cuts her pieces and
microwaves the body and makes lunches and he takes them to to work every day wait there's a real guy real movie wait a real movie or a real person it's a real movie called microwave massacre but probably based on a real guy and he would take um food that he made it from people he murdered and they would eat it at work and then when they finally caught him everybody at work was throwing up i think there was a woman who got caught eating her husband and serving him to the neighbors wow how much you have to hate that dude to serve him to you how much do you hate your neighbors say i'm gonna watch these motherfuckers eat my husband i'm gonna cook it up nice
cook up that ass cheek turn to a nice roast i hear you really like my husband you're gonna love this dish this is his favorite jesus christ i'm gonna call some man for him too a nice bone broth good for the soul yeah so that's where that shit comes from prions it's uh they're scary there's that's mad cow disease that's what um cannibals get it's a very sketchy disease and there's another one right now that deers have it's called chronic wasting disease same same kind of deal it's a prion disease and uh deers are getting it and they froth at the mouth and drool and they they their their body shrivels up
very creepy man you can eat those no you can because there's no crossover to people but i wouldn't suggest it i wouldn't recommend it i mean i i wouldn't the thing is you can test and you can find out if your deer is okay like you can shoot them and then test them and then you know you're good to go and you can eat the deer but if it's it tests positive it hasn't jumped from animal to people it's only an animal but the what it does to animals is so grave why would you take that chance this is how i feel like why would you take a chance of consuming an animal that literally has a plague inside of it because for deer that's the plague these deer they're i mean they're they're not even
see the thing like with people a disease like that would spread like wildfire right with deer they're out in these big giant open areas and yet still it's spreading from their saliva onto leaves and then other deer pick it up yeah it's um it's super fucking contagious and it kills the shit out of them and if that jumps to people that's a real problem that's a real fucking problem because i don't know if they have uh medication that combats it in deer i don't know what research they've done and trying to figure it out but i know it's it's such a problem that there's a lot of places where they're killing extra deer just to try to keep the populations lower so they don't interact with each
other as much and so don't catch it from giving it back and forth to each other and people have this right now no humans have it yet but i think chronic wasting disease has been it used to be one type of deer i'm not sure what what deer it started out with it might have been mule deer but it's in a lot of white-tailed deer in america and apparently it's made its way into other ungulates like uh i think it's in elk and i think they might have even found it in moose it's scary shit man because it's basically a zombie virus it turns you into a skeleton you waste away yeah it's horrific and it's um probably some of it came from farms because they think that that's one of the ways that it's spread
like there's a lot of deer farms that do a great job they're very ethical so if you wanted a property and you wanted your own private hunting property and you wanted to put a high fence up take care of the ground put food plots in there for the animals this is how you you know you got a thousand acres you want to fence it all in like you could do that in texas and you can buy deer so you say okay i want to buy you know like 20 white tail deer and let them loose on my property you know you got this thousand acre spot or wherever you're at um if you get a deer that is from a farm that's unethical they're all going to be stacked next to each other just like pigs when you watch fucking factory
farming for pigs they're going to be corralled and shitty most of them don't do this but you're you're always going to have people that are unethical and when people do things where diseases start getting spread and they kind of cover it up or lie about it because they don't want to lose money and then they're sending deer around it's like there's a lot of regulations now on how you can move deer across state lines because of these diseases if you have bad deer meat can you cover it up with a bunch of good deer meat where that bad meat disappears what do you mean she say like because because i remember myself cooking and i had like um i spilled
like a shitload of garlic on my oatmeal and i was making oatmeal for 15 motherfuckers in rehab so i just started putting more oatmeal more oatmeal and more milk to hide the garlic smell but in the end everybody was farting anyway so they still got it but do people do that what you're saying that people do that with deer meat that they cover it up do that yeah you could make a sausage are not unethical they hide it right by it no no no see what we're talking about chronic wasting disease is it's that's different all right it probably wouldn't even affect the taste of the animal they'll probably be very lean because there's not much left of them or they could have just gotten it and they could look
be healthy looking and they still have this disease they still test positive for it my fear would be about what that disease is going to do if it jumps to human beings and if you're consuming it are we sure that it just goes out of your system or is it just inert it doesn't work in your system could it work eventually is it something that has an incubation period that maybe maybe not now maybe it will have one in five years from now or ten years from now maybe the version of chronic wasting disease if it evolves and changes yeah it's going to be making the jump to humans that's a scary fucking disease to make the jump to humans you know there's a bunch of those out there like bird flu
yeah man and then there's the ones that we make gonorrhea no like covid they made that in a lab they made it in a lab it's spread across the whole world you think they made aids in a lab wow did you say like aids like aids or somebody i read that somewhere somebody said they make all that in labs well good within the like part of like um um chemical world warfare right um that is a part of chemical warfare like putting um disease blankets on natives you know and well they've done a bunch of fucking studies like that's the the big no i'm sorry the natives have influenza blankets that's what they had oh yeah no no that was um small
pox smallpox but i don't know if that's even true because i don't think they really knew what like how diseases were spread back then i don't think they knew that you could just like put scabs on a blanket and give people smallpox and if you had smallpox are you trying to dish out smallpox are you trying to catch it so you're handling it then putting it in blankets it seems like an exaggerated cruelty of what happened and what happened was europeans came over here the native americans had you know whatever you want to call them the indigenous people they did not have any uh immunity to smallpox and it wiped out 90 of them diseases from north americans or from uh europeans rather
coming to north america they wiped out everybody with disease it's somewhere in the neighborhood of 90 of the people that were here are gone because of disease so you know when people want to think that there's there's no way to prepare like a uh a group of human beings that has no immunity in you know 1492 there's no way to there's no way to prepare there's no way to prepare anybody you're you're coming in with these stinky european streets filled with shit water right everybody's got some funky parasite funky disease they probably fucking stink they're probably infested with all that boat about away they probably have viruses fighting viruses inside
their body coughing phlegm and blood and they're drinking whiskey and they come over to having sex with each other yeah and it's probably none of it's consensual it's probably animals biting each other and holding each other down and then they come to north america and they start slaughtering people and the the there's this one we've talked about this before he was like a bishop or some religious man who chronicled one of christopher christopher columbus's early interactions yes with these people and it's horrific shit man cutting people's arms off if they don't bring back their weight in gold and dashing babies on rocks in front of their parents horrific shit man and those are the kind of people that
brought those diseases like you want to talk about that's like a real demon horde crazy huh crazy a real demon horde of people come over on a boat stinking covered in their own shit breathing diseases on everybody everybody's dying like what is so unhealthy i know man like um i think about um that uh that pirate um i don't know one of the pirates blackbeard blackbeard man he was full of gonorrhea oh that and he would drop um he would drop um mercury on his penis to uh really to for uh to cure his diseases on his penis because that's that's all they had what a good move who invented that what asshole was like try mercury he probably was on a pirate ship somewhere met a voodoo doctor and said hey man
mercury put in your dick did mercury kill his dick yeah it says when held prison when he held prisoners for ransom such as the governor's son during the week-long charlestown blockade in 1718 he asked for expensive medical supplies this included liquid mercury which when injected through a urethral syringe yes was a common ineffective treatment for syphilis injected through your pee hole with a fucking syringe yo blackbeard blackbeard had up to 14 wives in different ports wow damn well somebody's do a movie about that guy imagine man he had the money to put mercury in his dick the rest of the crew probably didn't so there are they're fucking everything man fucking shut up there's this uh
temple in china that they are afraid to go into they discovered it and this emperor when he died was such a great emperor that he had this whole field of terracotta statues that were built that looked like warriors that are guarding him like this it's crazy discovery that they had they're giant right but the ground all around where this temple is is test for high levels of mercury and the the ancient story is that anybody who ever dared open up this temple open up this tomb rather where this emperor's bird will drown oh in mercury i thought you're gonna say they got gonorrhea no you imagine drowning in imagine like two thousand years ago a dude sets up a booby trap for greedy people and sets it up where he fills the
entire tomb up with mercury first of all is that even possible how much mercury would you have to handle and how many people would have to die from that mercury could imagine where first of all where did they even get it yeah where did they get mercury in two thousand plus years ago do you know that story about that emperor and his temple no teotihuacan is uh aztec yeah that's probably a common booby track i bet but this one where there's temple in china top of google it says temple drowned in mercury refers to the temple of teotihuacan temple can you say uh temple booby trapped with mercury in china i think it's like the first emperor of china i mean it says it could
have been a thing that they did on earth then it says it was in china yeah this is the one so there's one that they're they they have not entered into and i think this is the one with the terracotta statues in front of it there's one of the i think there's a common thing when great people died they probably made a terracotta army for them when they find these things it's like you here it is it's us talking about it crazy story of first emperor of china's tomb that's me and schultz talking about it right click on that i mean it's not our video so i'll remember it's not our video it's my video video it's somebody else's video oh somebody else uploaded well that's ridiculous but it's ours
right yeah it's 41 so what do you what is this name like they would have a copyright on my voice i don't want to get into it but yeah we probably have the the revenues probably come into our thing because of people claiming it but it's up i'm just saying all right that's why i'm bringing that up a lot of the clips i watched are from other people sharing them i was just saying it's not ours so i don't know if okay right right okay okay don't put it up then yeah got it but anyway the point is this there's a tomb in china that's supposedly booby trapped with tons of liquid mercury i'm sure jamie will find it but it's uh this area around it apparently tests high for mercury so they think
that it might be a true story and they don't want to go in there they don't want to open up the door and die which is wow that this dude set this up if he did 2 000 plus years ago i don't even remember how many thousands of years ago it was but it was insanely impressive wow that's amazing to think of something like that and still works yeah like where the where do you while jamie's looking this up where the do you think they get mercury and how much can they get how much can they have back then i've only seen another thermometer i know like where are they getting it throughout antiquity remember we've talked about cinnabar before cinnabar cinnabar comes from it's where they got red stuff also uh cinnabar and
antiquity was the source of all mercury so how did they do it little pool of it how did they do it does it say how they did it i mean it says to extract you need to roast it in air converting the sulfur to sulfur dioxide while the mercury is released as vapor it can be then condensed since mercury boils at 357 celsius this process needs temperatures while within they did some kilns they had those wow so they just cooked up mercury it's hard to do but they did it wow well if they can make a temple like this guy had they can cook up mercury and fill that temple that is crazy to think of that that i wish maybe there's going to be a way with uh new technology
where they can like pierce into the ground where they can see into things without having to like actually go in there physically because i know they're doing like the lidar stuff i know they can kind of detect where they used to be agriculture places someone digging into is this claim real and this says that even if uh so even though mercury either as a cinnabar or as the elemental metal has been found in tombs dating as far back as the second millennium bc it's not clear why it was put there might its toxicity have acted as a deterrent to grave looters probably not the dangers of mercury fumes were not recognized until hond times if so it seems there's a lot of mercury in the burial chamber it's likely to
be either a preservative or an anti-theft device so the the the big theory is that it's an anti-theft device and that's why people are terrified of going in there here hold it right here based on estimates of mercury production from the song era and allowing for the imperfections of the earlier refinement process he thinks the chamber might have contained at most 100 tons of the liquid metal holy shit a hundred tons how did blackbeard find this shit whoo well that wasn't blackbeard that was china how do you find mercury back then that's the urethral device shiver me timbers
probably had a buy oh they have like a look at that that was the device they stuck in their dick oh my god that's a saying right shiver me timbers that's a surprise or shock i think they're saying that just for funsies oh yeah yeah they found this in a wreck oh my god this guy had a mercury syringe for my peepee and look it's all rough looking and it's not even polished good man he probably was drawing in his map don't go over there man if you're going to go to this island take lots of mercury meanwhile they all died from that right syphilis look at this a pump cluster which would have been to use pump fluid into the rectum allowing the body
to quickly absorb it they were taken like animals they're boofin they're boofin so they were doing that for drugs pump liquid into the rhythm yeah liquid into the rectum well aren't people doing that like moonshine don't they pour moonshine in their asshole this is what i heard they pour coffee now i heard uh people take uh tampons filled with vodka and stuff them in their asshole i mean they've been doing it since the days of the pirates so it's not new there you go bro what the fuck is wrong with people severe dehydration by pumping fluid in the ass people people like putting stuff on their butts and also a bloodletting instrument called a porringer
i had a buddy of mine and he did his uh medical residency in miami in the 1980s during the cocaine times and he said dude he that's where he did his residency show he was in the emergency room so it's like every day someone's coming in with something stuffed up their ass they're coked out of their mind they got gi joe stuffed up their ass they got they found people with light bulbs those like twisty pine cone looking light bulbs stuck up their ass for all kinds of things stuck up their ass i did a show at lumpuck state penitentiary and one of the guards told me that um some guy made a vibrator out of seven handballs
you know the one the void and he taped them all up and then um what happened how do you guys know well he didn't tie them up too good they were all stuck in there to take them all out oh no he didn't tie them up good yeah because he didn't put enough wrapping i guess oh no so they had to go in his butt and get all those balls yeah how many were in there like five whatever whatever um how many balls make this and you thought he was hiding a knife that's a hard way to go too because sometimes people die that way you get you know toxic shock
something goes wrong you tear your rectum you bleed out internally stuff things up your ass like the mr hand story you know the mr hand story right no there's a whole movie based on it called zoo zoo is uh uh it's a thing called zoo philia where people are sexually attracted to farm animals and so these people met up online and uh they found out that you're still allowed to fuck animals in washington state so they all went to washington state this is a washington state right yeah based on true story all right and uh this dude got fucked to death by a horse they bring him to the emergency room like what's going on and you know everyone's acting a little shifty and then they have to tell the whole story
and they find out these people have like hundreds of hours of people getting fucked by donkeys and horses and shit and they all did this out on this uh this weird ranch wow yeah you know one of the that's how the dude died one of the first books you know there used to be a lot of sex books when we were kids and they were all right they were all nasty books about sex yeah the first one i ever read was about people having sex with animals oh yeah but they were like remember the penthouse stories or playboy stories but these were all with animals and i remember the woman telling this whole story about having sex with a horse jesus christ and like just riding that fool you never see the mr hands video
there's a video one video that got leaked online way back in the day brian redband sent it to me and it's this dude getting railed by the horse and it's not even the one where he dies apparently he dies in another video but in this video you see the size of the horse's dick and you see his body and you see his ass and you're like there's no way how many people help them because it's something one guy one guy grabbed it and just pointed it in the right direction and the horse was one gigantic thrust of death the guy makes this horrible sound and then his friend goes too much and then his friend is like oh he came he came the horse came and you're like this is the sickest thing i've ever seen in my life and
that's how that guy died that guy in that video that's getting fucked by that horse was the guy who eventually dies from it did they put the horse to sleep afterwards i don't think so it's not the horse's fault oh the horse is gonna you know i wouldn't bend over in front of him you know he's kind of right he's kind of conditioned now it's not his fault kind of says they only found out about all this because he died yes like yeah that's what i said oh yeah but it's like it's just yeah was that his first time or did they try with ponies first no he had been fucked by a bunch of horses or a bunch of times by the same horse but there was like apparently many hours this guy getting
fucked by horses that's like that 100 vhs tapes and dvds but it's real right not like an urban legend like when people say i went to tj and saw a donkey show you want to see it no you're gonna show it yeah this is still my old computer i guess oh do you have it you can still get it right i don't know where to look i'll look i bet you could get it i bet if you put it on up on x x is one of the few places where actually it's actually illegal so maybe you can't have it on x hold on because uh bestiality it wasn't illegal when they were doing it though yeah there's a point kind of no that's what's called that's called bestiality when you have sex with a with an animal okay oh it's called you're
fucking gross and what's the one when you have sex with dead bodies uh that is necrophilia right don't look on x for that yeah you can't find an x it's a different search result that pops up oh yeah they probably game the search results now right um yeah yeah there's a lot of 21 and older material people have sex with animals right like since do you want to talk about gangs of new york how ugly it was right oh people just want everything that was in front of them you found it okay here it is headphones please we'll make sure oh yeah there it is i mean you verify that that's it oh that's 100 it okay absolutely go full screen and uh don't show it on screen at all
mute the sound when we play this nope nope let's hear it okay dana cruz it's on a porn site i guess here we go here's the sound that's reverse him so that's the guy's butt the horse gets on top of him and then the guy grabs it look at this watch this look at the distance look at the amount of tissue we're talking about here watch this like long down silver
okay okay this is on a loop this is repeating this is repeating yeah this is it's already the whole thing really only lasts a couple of seconds wow that guy died the guy has no the movie's fascinating because the movie is like a documentary sort of recreation of those people and it's not like that you don't see things but you just see how bananas the whole story is the horse is known for that or the other random horse because he seemed to know what he was doing bro he probably been
fucking that guy for a long time they probably been doing that's what i'm saying like it killed him one day but i think he had done it a bunch of times right because no no no we've had a peter come after us we've had enough no who knows what i was really showing yeah we were just making noises cartoons that is um mr what the my name is mr red there's people out there that are out of their fucking minds they're out of their fucking mind you're getting fucked to death by a horse in a grainy video you know like what what is life for you that won't be crazy that's your thing you getting off work at five and i think the guy who died was an intelligent guy was he wasn't he an
engineer worked at boeing for over eight years yeah bro he was a boeing engineer who liked to get fucked to death by a horse that horse's dick is as long as an arm look at how long that dick is i was like long dong silver do you see the size of that thing like 17 and a half inches it was gigantic it's probably bigger than that when it goes into his body you're just like where's this where's the room where's the space how how do you warm up to it i guess you start with fingers then you move up to ketchup bottles the ability to experience certain sensations after a motorcycle accident oh so that was the only way you could feel things started going ham oh god that's terrifying
that's terrifying i don't know why i started filming it though well you know what that also kind of makes sense right because we've talked about this many times about uh brain injuries about people with brain injuries they get very impulsive and they do reckless things that totally makes sense if this guy had a motorcycle accident that fucked up the way he feels thing he probably got wrecked that's crazy so he got wrecked he probably got a brain injury and it probably turned him into a wild man i twisted my ankle man now i want a moose to fuck me in the ass you want to get fucked to death by a wild animal you want to be the first guy to get buttfucked by a bear yeah but you you break your brain in that way like for some people
they're just different now yeah now they're different i've seen it happen to a bunch of dudes when they've been knocked out been knocked out really bad but that's crazy get like get knocked out the fuck out and you wake up it goes is there a horse nearby because i'm really horny right now well who knows what's going on with the chemistry of your brain you just want experience you want excitement you want to see if you could suck a horse's car but that goes back to your old bit old joke man the old joke just say hey you take a break today yeah take a day off you know what i said when you had that joke about up in the playboy mansion and and you said that uh what's his name well whatever
he would have um every once in a while a gay will pop in and then he goes and then the punchline was nah man you take a break don't start fucking guys yeah you take a break yeah relax you get a little crazy yeah you can't you can't you fucking take shakes a day you don't ask for a guy you take a break i think for some people with brain injuries though they they get addicted to skydiving they get addicted to gambling to get addicted to like really reckless behavior gary busey was in a head injury right a bad one wonder what he's up to he uh looks like he's been in an accident he um he fell on a motorcycle and hit his head on the curb with no helmet on yeah it was a bad one so california didn't used to have
a helmet law back then it's because of him though well i don't know if it's because of him he started yeah i did read that he started a big push yeah to help that um so he helped it but i know that people people wanted how this you know i'm torn on that shit it's like yeah you should have helmet laws because there's 18 year old boys out there that can have motorcycles and that's crazy that's crazy to give i am so glad that when i was 18 i never got a motorcycle once you thought of a motorcycle like um at 70 miles an hour the helmet is like nothing right you're not gonna think depends on how you fall how you fall right yeah you might slide if you slide you probably just get your skin ripped from your body
did you survive it yeah well just woke up to a fetish yeah but that's the thing man if you get really banged you could have some screwy brain waves after that you know and you could think everyone's out to get you you get like people get real weird they get real weird and they feel like extra vulnerable because they you know their brain's not working the same anymore so they don't know who they are anymore they don't feel like they used to feel yeah they started to feel crazy you know and they start think that no one wants to help them you start getting really angry and real negative and then you get fucked by a horse it's just all the things that you could be doing that that's that's how you
chose to go out all these things that you could be doing you know you could be seeing the world he said nah i want a sea biscuit you could be a food blogger nah ponies you could be a fashion influencer nope no i want to be willie shoemaker i want to get taken out by a horse the black stallion in some dirty barn somewhere that's where you breathe your last breath in a dirty barn with horse jizz in your asshole who did Fred do what i don't know they freaked out they brought him to the hospital they try to drop him off then the the cops start questioning him i believe i'm paraphrasing for sure uh but i think that's how they got busted they brought off the guy and he's got a giant hole
in his asshole he's pale like a sheet like what happened the same face what why is he why is the inside of his body missing why does he have a fucking telephone pole why could we see his shoes through his mouth what is going on with this dude what did you do what'd you do that story about jimmy hendrix still freaks me out i think i've been thinking about the entire time we've been talking i go back to the idea of them just pouring pills down the greatest guitarist of all times mouth and then just pouring jugs of wine down holding them down and that's how he dies mother fucker that's scary his manager mother fucker his u.s manager said this story is not true just for
of course but i would say that too yeah i would say that too i mean i don't know if it's true who fucking knows but the idea and he did but he definitely did die and he definitely did die by asphyxiation some people say also like that the cia did it jimmy hendrix i don't know i haven't heard that one but if anything happens people always think the cia was involved somehow anything no matter what it is right yeah pretty much they always say that yeah i don't trust nothing secret agent man yeah it's either them or it's china or it's russia who's really sending me this text telling me that i'm qualified for the four thousand dollars in savings
who's you know those texts you get like who's sending those who's six you know those texts you get like random texts hey congratulations you receive approval for your loan oh i don't get those you don't get those i get them from for a dude named ray so ray had my phone number before i moved here and fucking ray ray must have signed up to every goddamn list ray must have put in that number every chance he could i keep getting these fucking text messages for ray and it's all like loans and you qualify for this and you're this is available we're looking for someone to hire there's always some weird scams you qualify for
aluminum aluminum sightings i don't understand how they can't stop that from happening this seems weird that you get so many of them you get so many of these scam things where they get a hold of your your phone number and just spam you lies i think um they think you get to a certain age 50 and they think you're gullible to these tricks now well i think young people are gullible yeah they said they said to 22 euros hey man you want to fix your loan your home how do you have a home if you're dumb if you're dumb and you're 22 and you get something that you qualified for 4 000 oh shit they think this is me yes yeah yeah i'll take that money and then you know whatever the fuck they do i don't know what they
do there was a guy in la l.a that was calling women at their jobs and telling them they had won something and he convinced them to cut their heels off their shoes and he would film it no he was just calling them all randomly hey you just want blah blah blah blah all you gotta do is cut your heels off your shoes right now and women were doing it and he called a bunch of chicks and they all just fucked up their shoes for nothing oh what an asshole it's funny but it's that person with me and i wasn't but it was somebody rude thing to do to a
lady especially if it's your favorite shoes you only have one pair not my red bottoms bro shoes are hard to get those bitches are expensive right yeah so why are we so lucky we don't have to wear shoes that hurt girls wear shoes that hurt they can only wear them for so long like i can't imagine i don't even like wearing things other than sneakers yeah or like a comfortable boot like you know i got a pair a couple pairs of these origin boots they're real comfortable easy to walk around in like nice smooth leather i don't think i ever have boots boots are great but the point is they don't have cowboy boots i've had doc martin but not cowboy boots point is they don't hurt to wear but ladies are always
wearing shoes that hurt what crazy choice five inch heels stilettos that's probably why they have better pain tolerance too they have to give birth and they wear shoes that hurt all the time so they have to deal with pain we're so lucky we don't have any stupid shit imagine if we had to wear makeup every day imagine what it'd be like like felipe what have you done to your eyes i don't know man put mercury on them isn't that interesting like women all i mean most a lot let's say a lot of women wear makeup every day or wake up makeup regularly on a regular basis they wear makeup it's not a very rare occasion thing most i don't know what the number is you want to find out let's let's google
it because that's probably a lot of that stuff's probably not healthy for you either right what's in those colors what's what kind of dyes are they using the red dye huh like what is all that stuff made out of are we sure i mean maybe some of it's really good for you maybe some of it's terrible for you maybe it's just like the scented candle is the lipstick well i know the lipsticks well the native lipsticks it's made out of smashed little bugs yeah that that's one of the red dye things the red little bugs you put them on here can't be bad for you right you can't be better than a horse up your ass so what percentage 43 reported okay 43 percent of u.s women reported wearing makeup
daily or weekly but it doesn't break out the daily portion explicitly rewinding to 2019 the same source noted a higher share of women wearing makeup daily gen z 18 to 24 at 30 percent and millennials 25 to 34 at 35 suggesting a decline over time separate 2023 you gov poll of a thousand u.s women found that 38 38 percent wear wake makeup at least a few times a week or daily with older women 65 plus being the most likely to wear daily compared to younger groups they probably were all wore it daily back in the day right you gotta keep up your looks gladys go that back back up again please another study from 2017 by statista indicated 41 of u.s women aged 30 to 59 wear makeup daily
yeah there was a woman um back in the i don't know if the 1800 1900 she was the first woman to make a woman's magazine on clothing and home gardening how to cook she was first lady to put recipes in a magazine oh yeah kind of like for a homemaker right and then yeah there was nothing there was in a magazine back then i don't know what the name of the magazine but jamie google uh is makeup bad for you what do you think uh google is makeup toxic when i was a kid my seventh grade teacher thought it was bad put on don't put on that makeup young girl it's toxic makeup for sure but are they in whatever the what are the ingredients in makeup that are toxic like the wizard of oz guy got oh that's right
the lady with the green makeup yes bro no the lady with the green makeup the wizard of oz or the the tin man the witch yeah they got real sick man yes some makeup can be toxic wow lead mercury and arsenic heavy metals can be found in cosmetics phthalates common contaminant in cosmetics formaldehyde a chemical found in some makeup yeah man that's why a lot of comedians back then stopped black facing uh man that's scary that's scary i wonder if that contributes to a higher incidence of certain
um issues health issues that maybe women have that wear it use it daily i wonder how money um gonna wonder right how about the um the people that worked the news back then in the 450 they were a shitload of makeup oh yeah yeah and what the kind of makeup did they have back then it was probably all chemicals cake makeup man yeah what the fuck feel down a huge shit yeah yeah man like you don't have to wear that ladies we're not we're not that complicated you're not gonna wear makeup when you do the ufc fights no i don't i don't wear anything i'm like are you crazy i have to go in there with dudes who literally have their heads split open you know i have to interview people that are soaked in
blood and sometimes the blood is spitting out onto the microphone oh my god that happens all the time i get blood on me all the time like the idea of me wearing makeup to look better while i'm out while they're dealing with people that just got their face punched in is crazy that's ridiculous i won't do it so when they're speaking to you like when you get a fighter that's real bloody like you can what what's um because you you're really up close to these guys what do you see in their eyes after a fight like when they're and they're also bleeding man do you see like you see like their intensity man you see things like other people don't see when you're interviewing i'm sure
you see something you've been in you're there in a fight right in front of them yeah i think you're probably going to get more of a sense of how they feel after it's over like there's like some historic moments where you could see that when the fighter wins it's like it's a big fucking deal and uh one of my favorite ones was when israel adesanya had his second ufc fight against alex prayer and he knocks him down knocks him out cold beautiful clean right hand then finished him on the ground and then fires off three arrows into his body oh yeah remember that guy yes yes i mean that was a fucking classic moment and then he grabs a microphone and gives like one of the most inspirational speeches
like pull that speech up yeah because it's amazing this is my favorite moment i think of anybody after they won a fight because it's just like this was real in the moment from a guy who's the fucking boogeyman dude alex perera is the boogeyman he's the scariest motherfucker in the sport he knocked izzy out twice he left hook KO'd him in kickboxing and then he beat him down in the ufc and then izzy finally knocked him out and when he knocked him out when he fires those arrows into his body and then see if you find that speech and when you hear it man you're like wow that's like that's what that's what makes the whole career worth it these moments where you reach out and you touch the world i hope
every one of you can feel this level of happiness just one time in your life you never feel this level of happiness if you don't go for something when they knock you down when they talk about you if you stay down you will never ever get that resolve fortify your mind and feel this level of happiness as you rise one time in your life but i'm blessed to be able to feel this again and again and again and again and again amazing amazing that's like human fuel you hear someone saying something like that after doing something like that that can help you all throughout your day that's human fuel
amazing amazing if you're gonna go go all the way or don't even try yeah charl burkowski that guy was out if you're gonna go go all the way or don't even try this could mean losing girlfriends it could mean losing losing wives relatives it could be spot time spent in jail lonely nights and the dark lonely night by yourself yeah but in the end it's all worth it i don't know the rest yeah that's a great yeah he was did you ever see the movie that did on with mickey rourke both they did two movies the one with a matt dylan called factotum too when was that that came out in like in 2000 something
and he plays them at a different i thought there's barfly there fact totem oh fact totem he plays them at that age and he's way too handsome yeah but how dare he he plays them good how dare he yeah he's way too handsome that's outrageous mickey rourke made himself look fucked up yeah toast to all my friends you know he like yeah um charl burkowski is actually in bar flight he's one of the one of the drunks in the bar yeah how women in the world aren't whore just mine you ever see one of those um uh readings that he used to do he used to do these readings he'd read from his books and people would yell and he'd fucking have hecklers and shit and yell out to them
he's just a a guy just constantly drunk with profound yeah man when i when i when i started reading i wanted to read books about authors that were from los angeles like in the 40s and 50s because he's from no and i said i gotta find something that that talks about los angeles these streets that i live in and there was charl burkowski he writes about los angeles and i found out that his inspiration was a guy named um man what's his name he he he he writes just like charl burkowski he wrote a he wrote a book called ask the dust and um the adventures of arturo bandini i went i'm i'm lost here of his of his name but he john fontay yes john fontay john fontay wrote books in the style of charl burkowski and um charl burkowski
when um when he found out about him he helped him um publish all his books again so that's why i know that john fontay exists because charl burkowski he republished all his books for him when he was dying of diabetes so after dust bro he talks about los angeles during 1932 bro when los angeles had a a metro rail and the world the 1932 um earthquake in los angeles wow so this it's all about this guy's from los angeles he talks about armenians and working the docks in 1920s wow that's a great catch i want to know alcoholics bro this guy's an alcoholic and so is charl burkowski these are dudes that work jobs and still were authors imagine going from those guys to tick tockers at boa exactly
yeah exactly like these guys actually had jobs during the day i was talking about coskey he was a post-op he never worked he never quit yeah and arturo brandini well what's his name the other guy he he started writing for hollywood and he just disappeared oh yeah yeah oh like writing screenplays you got into under contract yeah man there's a lot of like talented writers who just decided to write for a company they just kind of like give up on the yeah people get hired to be a writer and then you said this is not for me uh i got a book deal once and i gave them the money back because they were they had too much input they wanted to have too much input
i want to and then they wanted me to transcribe my stand-up that was one of their ideas i'm like that's terrible idea they're like they're like george carlin did i'm like well that's fine i love george carlin but so what i'm not doing that like that doesn't make any sense to me like why would i want like the worst version of what the ideas are which is just print the best version is a live performed version second best version is a video worst for sure is print audio is slightly better but it's like you don't want to do that why would i do that that's a dumb way to write a book i just want to write about things that i'm thinking about yeah why would you write your whole set list on a book and then i
realize if i'm going to write something i have to want to and it has to be something that i do because i'm controlling the entire thing and then if they like if they like it if they don't they don't but it's it's not something that i would ever want to have somebody help me out with according to this article about him part of the reason why he didn't explode when other writers did is because his publisher was in a legal battle for an unauthorized publication of mein Kampf whoa oh i didn't know that that's good you know whoa holy shit yeah that kind of wow resources the financial drain on the publisher hampered the distribution of ask the dust yes while fent put out a short story collection
dago red in 1940 more than a decade would pass before another bandini novel wow yeah he disappeared created and was a bunch of stories about this fake he used to live in a legal battle with adolf hitler well his publisher did but yeah that's crazy huh insane that's crazy dude i'm gonna read that is it on audio i hope it's on audiobook i'm so lazy sitting down and actually rating rate reading a book right now it's too daunting it's too daunting uh felipe one more time tell everybody special on netflix available right now oh my netflix special is available right now raging fool on netflix go check it out directed by my wife lisa's o daniel and i want to give a shout out to my my um my brother-in-law who
listens to you religiously with his daughters um johnny o daniel what's up boo shout out to johnny ohio all right um instagram all that shit what is it oh my instagram is uh felipe esparza my my website is felipe's world.com i'll be in i don't know when this airs i'll be in grand rapids iowa and um indianapolis helium but um when are those dates i don't know okay go to the website go to the website april 5th i'll be in san diego with paul rodriguez and april 25th i'll be in san diego with a bunch of comedians beautiful all right always good to see you my brother thank you bro happy thanks for having me thanks for being here all right bye buddy
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