Nate Bargatze

00:04Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan experience. Train by day, Joe Hello. Welcome to Austin, Texas. How are you doing? I'm good. You're a Nashville resident now, huh? I am, yeah. I'm from there. So, When did you move back? Uh it's been 6 years. I was uh I started in Chicago. I moved from Nashville to Chicago first. And then New York for about 9 years and then uh LA for a couple. And I started touring on the road like a lot more. And then I moved uh back to Nashville. It was the first what I thought to myself the first unselfish thing I did for my family Mhm. in comedy Yeah. was to get I was being gone so much. We have an 8-year-old. I mean at the time we had a 2-year-old, so uh and so I was like just leaving them, you know? And I was like, "Uh let's just go." When I first moved back, I didn't tell anybody. Really? I was afraid people

01:06Is that weird? I know. I was so I was Like you can only do comedy in a couple places. Yeah. Yeah, I was so scared. I had my buddy Rory Scovel. Like he I moved, didn't tell him, and he came to Nashville and I was like, "Hey, I'll pick you up at the airport. I I'm like at my parents' house." And then I picked him up and drove to my home and I was like, "I've been gone for 6 months." Cuz I realized you we we weren't seeing anybody, you Yeah. Yeah, the if you're on the road a lot, it almost doesn't matter where you live as long as you have a workout room. Yes. And you use Zanies? Is that your spot? Zanies, but I would do uh Zanies is my workout room. I started changing where I really started working out on the road. Like it was doing just constantly touring. Mhm. And so I liked building the act, you know, in that long format, like doing that hour. Right.

01:57Like I'm doing it right now. And so like having to build it where I would always I open with new and I like to see how far I can get. And then so I can have some kind of gauge. So you open with new? Yeah, cuz you're the most excited about it. Right, it's fresh. And it's fresh and like and usually your audience is will give you the the most grace at the top. Mhm. So you can kind of be like, "Uh let me just I'm excited about the I'm the most excited about these jokes. I'm going to get a little grace from them cuz they're excited that you're coming out." And then so I do that and then and then I can get a real timing. Cuz you know, one time uh I mixed in old and new after a special. And I remember a guy afterwards like being like, "I did like all old stuff." And I was like, "No, I did half new." Because it's mixed in, they don't

02:42know. Right. And so that way if I do if I open with it, I mean I'll even like after a special if I got like 40 new and I have to close with from 20 from the special, I'll tell the crowd. I was like, "All right, that's all the new jokes I got." And then they feel like, "Oh." Then afterwards they're like, "Well, I got so many new jokes." And they feel great about it. That's an interesting um change of thought process between like the old guard and like the the newer comics that are doing specials on a regular basis. Like the olden days, guys would keep an act forever. They'd keep an act for 10, 15, 20 years. I mean it was uh so I when I started I moved to uh actually I have a story with you. Oh, yeah? About first starting. Oh. You were responsible for basically the first time I ever went on stage. Uh I mean almost in a comic. I think Zanies Chicago might

03:30have been the first actual club I went to. It's either that or the Comedy Store. So I was friends with uh a buddy of mine, Josh Baker. He was in the band Prom Kings. Do you remember band? I think yeah. And so we came out to LA to stay hang out with him. And he uh and so they knew you. And so this is I mean I think it's 2003 or 4 and I I've been doing comedy maybe a year. And so we come out and then we you invite us to the show at the Comedy Store. So we come watch you. We sit in the front row. I remember all this stuff. It's like a nightmare as a comic. Now when you think back, then I didn't care. Had you been thinking about doing it already? I already started. I moved to Chicago. So I was in I was in Chicago with like Hannibal and Pete Holmes and T.J. Miller and Kumail. Like that was kind of the group that was in Chicago. So I'm we

04:16went from Chicago to LA to go just visit. And so we hung out with them. We go to your show. You introduced them at one of their shows. Cuz I guess you were good friends with these people or with the with the band or you like this band. And so you introduced them and I remember I talked to you afterwards like I we were like at the show and I'm like talking about comedy. I'm trying not to be I'm I'm I'm a new comic, so I don't even really know what to ask. You were very very nice. And then uh we go watch you then you said you're going to go up at the Comedy Store. I was like it was when you had to sign up for the open mic the week later. So you signed up for the Monday to go up the next week. And I was like, "Well, I was like I'm not going to be here." And uh you go, "Oh, I'll call." And then you got me on stage that you called and

04:59said, "Hey, he's just in town doing this." I mean you had like a year coming. Look at you. It worked out. It worked out, dude. They brought me up and they go, "Uh this next comic is one of Joe Rogan's best friends." And then they were I mean the other comics were just furious and I'm like, "I don't I was like, "We met him last night. He's a very nice guy." That's a funny thing, man. The those little like nudges and like uh little pieces of good like uh like criticism or good, you know, uh praise from a comic when you're starting out. Like that can go so far. So far. From I remember to this day like Lenny Clark. I I'd done stand up. I'd done it for like a year and I'd gotten paid one time before. This is the second time I ever got paid. And I opened up for Lenny Clark in Pittsfield, Massachusetts. This was after I'm done with this show. This gig, yeah.

05:53Is it Jay's? Jay's in Pittsfield? in a hotel? Um I don't think so. I've done a Pittsfield mask. Oh, it was a like a night club. And it was it was like one of the best road gigs. Like everybody get It was a 3-hour drive from Boston, but it was one of those road gigs where everybody would get excited. And this was after Lenny had been on HBO. He was on the Rodney Dangerfield Young Comedians Special. The Rodney Whatever Rodney called it. And so see just being around him was crazy. And then opening for him was even more crazy. And then after I got off stage, he was like, "Kid, you're really funny." Like with that crazy Boston accent. And man, that powered me through like years. But through years. I was I was like, "Oh man, I'm doing this. Like I'm I'm never quitting now. Like Lenny Clark said I'm funny. [ __ ] Yeah. I'm good." It's the it's the

06:41it's gigantic. Like that was you doing that at that time. A I I knew the Comedy Store, but it's not like I even really and then it was like going to New York and then be like, "I've already done the Comedy Store." At even if they open mic, it was just I saw the world and I got to see the world. And then talking to you at that uh the band you were just talking about going up and like you got to go up. Like, you know, stuff that you would say to comics, but Right. it was like stuff that I didn't know at that time and you realize, you know, that like that that's enormous. Yeah, that's enormous. I did that Pittsfield mask gig uh I cuz I was in New York. I opened up for Tony V. Oh, I love Tony V. Yeah. And they I was the host. Got paid 500 bucks. It was crazy. Like I was like, "This is cra- I've never been paid 500 bucks for a gig."

07:29Right. It's packed, sold out. I mean you just murder. And I thought maybe it wasn't in a hotel. I don't remember. My wife was with me. It was a big night. They give me 500 bucks cash. I end up later on that night I lose the $500. Oh, no. falls out. Why So the night goes from this amazing night with my wife for 500 bucks to now we're in a fight. And uh I and but I mean I still think I tell her every day I cuz at the time I was like, "We ever going to remember this $500?" Like I always kind of live by that motto. Like I'll get another $500. I bring it up still. I mean it's been 15 years and I still just go, "You remember that $500?" Like just to make that Tony V gave me uh a really interesting piece of advice one day because he was telling me that he drove from Boston to New York. He I think it was a he got a writing gig. I forget what the gig was,

08:18but he had to travel on a regular basis. He was still living in Boston, but he was doing the gig in New York. And I go, "That's like a 3 and 1/2 hour drive. Like how often do you do that?" And it was regular like multiple times a week. And I said, "How do you do that?" He goes, "I just go zen." He goes, "I just say this is what I'm doing now. I don't get upset. I just say this is what I'm doing. I'm driving." And I just think about it that way. And I remember thinking like, "Oh, yeah, you can do that, right? You can just say this is what I'm instead of going, 'Fuck, I can't believe I'm driving. 3 and 1/2 hours. How much time is left? 2 hours and 19 minutes. Fuck.'" Instead of thinking like that, you can just drive. Just drive. Just drive. a great way to the the zen idea of it. Yeah. I can do that with food. I eat terrible. But uh sometimes if I if

09:06I'm trying to eat better, it's like and it's not a lot. But you try to think like I'm going to eat uh a decent meal tonight. I'm going to have like a steak and green beans tonight or something whatever. That's all I know that's like I don't know what people eat. So I'm going to salad. And I wrap my head around it. Very early in the day to go that's what I'm expecting. Cuz I can go the other way. You know, I think I'm going to eat something bad. Like and that doesn't happen. Like I'll you know, I'll lose my mind. It's uh but it is it's a very I don't know if that's zen. Yeah, it is. You just got to decide this is what you're doing. I mean that's how it is with everything. With exercise, with writing. Like you just got to decide I'm writing now. I'm getting up and writing. a word for word? Not necessarily, but sometimes. Sometimes I write something and it works

09:54word for word. Most of the time not though. Most of the time what I do is I write essays. Like I'll I'll have a subject that I'm working on. So, I have this long long-form idea. Like whatever the subject, coffee, whatever, pick a subject, right? So, as I'm writing, I just start writing all the [ __ ] about coffee. And then out of it, somewhere, something I go, "Aha, I got something." And I'll extract that and I'll put it on a separate piece of paper. Okay. A separate file. I'll say this is, you know, there's something in there. There's something there. Yeah, and then sometimes there isn't, sometimes there's not. And I have [ __ ] I don't know how many these files that never went anywhere. I'll go back to them and look I just check like panning for gold again. What do you got in here? Anything? Nothing? Nothing?

10:37[ __ ] And then I'll just every now and then. But sometimes bits just come to you on stage, too. Yeah. got to be open to that. Like sometimes you'll be at dinner and someone will say something, you'll have some [ __ ] hilarious retort to that and you're like, "Holy [ __ ] that could be a bit." You know, like my friends do that all the time. Like they'll say something hilarious and I'm like, "Dude, you got to write that down." That there's something in that. Like you never know. You never know. And then that can become a bit. It's uh I had my my last special I have a joke uh where I I went golfing and a guy saw me with no shirt on. And uh he he he just said Olivia. He thought I was his he was looking for his elderly wife and saw me with no shirt on. And and from a distance he thought he thought we had the same build and he's

11:21like, "Oh, he's like, Olivia?" So, that happened and I opened that but I always think that that's crazy. That was a month before I take that special and that's what I open the special with. Where you have to be open to the idea that you're like, "I don't know, you know." When it happened, I knew. I was like, "Well, this is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me, you know?" Like it was I like I was I was I called a couple people on the drive to be like, "This is funny, right?" You know, like to make sure you're not like a crazy person. And then I went and I was going to like Tampa uh the Improv in Tampa. And I like drove there and I I opened with it that night and I was like, "This is the new opener on the special." Yeah, you never know, right? know. That's the beautiful thing about creating, about comedy. It just comes

12:03out of the air. Just comes out of your mind. It's just like And you feel do you get nervous when you I mean after a special though, there's definitely moments uh I feel like right now when you're trying to write new stuff and you're like, "Dude, I might be one of the worst comedians that have ever lived." I think that all the time. Like I go, Well, that's I think it's one of the great things about comedy that it keeps you humble because you're always a beginner every 2 years in. Yes. You do a special and then you're a beginner again cuz you have all this stuff you have to work out. And it's really hard. Like during the pandemic, there's only been a few guys that I know that have like Bert Kreischer has been the most gangster about it. He's toured regularly from the jump. He started doing those drive-in movie shows. Like he kind of I'm pretty sure it was Bert's

12:48idea to do these drive-in shows. I think he started it. I did it I did them, too. I did like 20 of them. And yeah, he was I mean he would kill them. Yeah, he kills it. he's kind of built for that like in a way. Like he was like perfect. It's like he's a big act. Like he's turns like big energy, big performing, takes his shirt off. Everybody honks their horn. You know? I had someone we go to Butler PA at a it's pretty rough when you see a Ford F-150's lights hit you in the face cuz they leave early. Like that's the hard part. Like when you're on stage, dude, and this is truck these lights just hit you and you I and you couldn't figure out how to get out. So, he's just driving and you're like, "Just leave, man." You're like, "Just someone You're like, "Please, someone help me get out." Like it's so rough. That's that's the most inconspicuous or

13:32non-inconspicuous leaving ever in a [ __ ] truck. It's a truck, yeah. Bur He's going to start that car and like let it warm up. He's like, "We're going soon." And you're like, "Oh god." It was uh those were tough. That's what I had to do uh the and they but you know what? If you went into it with the right attitude cuz I know some comics were like, "These are the worst." And they are. And that's not ideal. But if you went into it, I go, "These people are coming out. They haven't been able to do anything. It's not uh what does it matter if my feelings are not like I don't feel like I'm getting laughs. That's not what it's about. And it's about making these people be happy. And they did in Chicago we did Chicago five it was 500 cars. When I walked out people flashing lights, honking their horns. They honked for laughs. Cuz it

14:17cuz it was like 45° raining. So, they're they're all the windows up and they would like kind of just do little beeps. That's so weird. But you learn that you know I just need a response. That's kind of like you just once you like the Zen idea of it, you just when you go into it with a better attitude, I'm not mad the whole time I'm up there. Did you hear laughs at all? Uh there'd be a couple people sitting up front but not really. Wow. And so you'd hear that you'd hear just some like honking and laughing. Did it [ __ ] with your timing at all? Uh yeah, I mean yeah. I did 24 minutes of a 60-minute material. I got off I go, "Oh, that was long right there." You have we barely started. I was like, "Oh god." Did you really do 24 minutes? No, my special I did though. The one uh it was I did I had I had it timed out to

15:0364 minutes. I you did have to figure out how to be like just trust that they're laughing. You know what I mean? And then so when we did the special they had everybody we had to do at Universal Studios in uh California. 100 people, all of them had to get tested but then also still had to wear masks during the show. And uh the first night for you tape two shows. First show uh 64 minute is what my material was running at the drive-ins. First show I did 43 minutes. Wow. Why How come? Cuz it was I I realized you could hear some laughs, not really much. And you can't see their faces. So, you just look like you're bomb I mean you're you're just looking at eyes. And so unless a guy like shook cuz he was laughing so hard, I mean you're just telling a joke just to like eyes not moving. That's so weird. And it was tough. And so the second one

15:51I was like, "All right, well we have to you know, I got off." You know when you get off and you're like, "That's not that was cool." And the second one did you make them take their masks off? No. But the we had Is this Universal in Hollywood? Yeah. Universal Studios, yeah. And they so we had they had my the crowd the audience had mics on their tables. And so he put that the in my monitor up a little louder and so I could hear them laugh through the mask. Oh. Cuz they're laughing but it's like I just can't hear. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's so frustrating when you're talking to people like and they're trying to give you directions or explain something and you and you leaning in. I just pull it down. I'm going to go, "What's that?" You come around the plastic. You know like you go somewhere they have the plastic thing. I just you go around it

16:35and pull your mask down. "What's that?" They're like, "Well, that's not what you're supposed to do at all." Like you just make it way worse. Well, people that have already had COVID, they're so [ __ ] they're just they they don't care at all. Like they're just free people. They're like people that have gotten out of jail and can never go back. Yeah. Robbing cars. It just yeah, doesn't matter. They That's how they behave. That's how Jamie is. All these they they're they're flagrant. They go out to clubs. They you know, Hinchcliffe is the same way. Yeah, they get this uh this attitude about it like, "I'm free." Yeah. Well, it's a lot of a lot of people have a lot of power right now. I was like talking a little bit about it in uh my new act. Not to do my act but it was like but the idea that like everybody gets to tell someone to

17:18pull your mask up. I can go tell anybody I want. So, like everybody has power. Yes. Just a guy on the street can go, "Your mask is a little down." Yeah. That guy's got power over you. Cover your nose. Cover your nose and you're like, "I don't even know that." You know? Yeah, you have to kind of respond and listen to him or you're a dick. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot of power. I saw some guy was [ __ ] with people. He made a mask that looked like he wasn't wearing a mask. It looked like the mask is under his chin. So, the mask is like a mask of his face and then this part looks like one of them operating masks but it's under the chin. Yeah. And some lady was yelling at him at a store. He's like, "I'm wearing a mask." She goes, "No, you're not wearing it the right way." Like she was looking right at him and just kind of like not try

18:02trying not to make eye contact. So, not clearly recognizing that it's a fake It's good. It was good. It was like a photograph, you know? But it was uh it was funny to watch the anger that people have. But yeah, people get real upset about it. I mean I, you know, I was like if you've been to a place where it's been uncomfortable to have the mask on. Like if you've gone that like if you go farther out of like a city and I've walked in with a mask on and you walk in and you're like, "Ah, sorry about that, everybody." Like you just feel like they're like, "What's COVID, dude? Like why do you have a mask on?" Andrew Schulz is in Miami right now. And that's what he said. He said it's like that there. He said it is [ __ ] bananas. He goes, "They don't give a shit." He goes, "No one's wearing a mask." He said they're just they're

18:43going to nightclubs. He goes, "People are just out there wandering around." Florida has no rules. They're just wide open. And Texas is on the verge of that. They've kind of announced no rules but they're they're fighting in here in Austin but the cases are down in Austin so they're lowering like we were talking to the nurse out there. They're lowering the whatever the stage it is that you're allowed to do things. the yeah, the every like everything's going down like but I went to I just did Stand Up Live in Phoenix and it was half capacity. But so they said they could open to 100% but then they still have to be 6 ft apart so you can't. You know, so it's like little stuff like that where they well they can't open, you know, you can't tell them cuz comedy clubs pack them in, you know? I thought they just went full open recently. But they they did.

19:29Still? But they but you have to be 6 ft apart. Oh, really? Yeah, you still have to be socially distanced. So, you can't go. It's kind of impossible to go full you know, cuz if you're in a building and they're like, you know, they're like, "We can have full capacity in here." And you're like, "Well, I can only fit." And you're like, "Well, everybody still needs to be 6 ft apart." You're like, "Well, then I guess we're not." really 6 ft apart at Stand Up Live though cuz Callan told me it was packed. It was packed. Every I I think these clubs look they of course look packed, yeah, but when you go walk around those tables we we forget how packed comedy clubs got it. They got it really packed. And so now people are sitting just kind of how they're supposed to sit. In real life. A little in real life, like if you go to a restaurant. It's just you know, you're

20:09not just on the you know, a stranger's back and you're just You're not supposed to looking at someone's text right over your shoulder. No, just every they have the they have the plexiglass uh two on the tables. Yeah, I saw this about Fauci. He said US considering updating 3-ft social distancing guidelines in key move to reopen schools. Yeah, they're they're they're saying there's no difference between 6-ft and 3-ft. Like stop. I don't understand it. I was I try to you try to figure all this stuff out like I think there's a I always think we have a graph problem in this country like there's too many graphs and I don't understand like they just keep throwing more out there and they always say per capita and you're like I don't like I don't even know what's per capita of what? Like I have no idea like per capita of Florida you're like I don't

20:52know. That could be good or bad. I don't know what that means. That means the population. Well, it means like it's per like whatever the number would be whether it's per thousand or per million people. So like if you have a place like California that has 40 million people in the state versus a place like Wyoming that has less than a million. Yeah. You would say how many COVID cases they have per capita like per 100 people. Like so Wyoming if they're they're they're basing it on whatever the number is. So if they're basing it on 100 people they say Wyoming has you know, X amount per capita versus California has Why would they not just use the real numbers of Because they want you to think differently cuz like if California has 2 million cases there's 40 million people. Wyoming only has a less than a million people in the entire state. So if

21:44Wyoming has a thousand cases like oh my god, Wyoming is a huge success story. Not necessarily. Oh, cuz they got less yeah. Per capita based on the amount of people that are there like there's one out of every you know, 10 people has COVID or one out of every 100 people has COVID versus California whatever the number is. That's what per capita means. Seems like a lot to be honest. But I barely made it out of high school Joe so I don't know what's going on dude. Listen, I barely made it out of high school too. I used to have nightmares about being forced to go back. Out of high school? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to have nightmares about like I didn't get my my requirements. Like I didn't care. Um I I I I didn't necessarily care what my grades were. I just wanted to get out. But what I did care is I didn't want to be a high school dropout.

22:28Yeah. Like a high school dropout to me at the time was like a death sentence. Like for sure you're going to be a loser, yeah, which was my number one fear. Like it was that I was going to be a loser. I was so scared of being a loser. I went to college just because I didn't want people to think I was a loser. Yeah. Cuz I went like a whole year without doing any college at all. Like I went like from you know, graduating to you know, when I was I guess I graduated 17 till whatever the [ __ ] you know, the next year and I answered so many questions. Like oh, I'm taking a year off and people look at you like oh, man. Here we go. [ __ ] loser. You're going to be I'm like shut up. I'm going to be a loser. It was before people traveled abroad to you like I'm taking a year off. No one said that. Well, dude, I lived in Boston. They

23:11didn't even travel to other cities. Like they didn't go anywhere and you and it was like such a blue collar I was in I lived in a place called Newton Upper Falls, which is like a blue collar, you know, it was a nice area. Real quiet. Like go back to it now it's like wow, I grew up in a cool place. But it was uh very hard working people, you know, which is cold weather people are hard working people. They they value hard work because you have to shovel yourself out of your [ __ ] driveway. Period. You know, you have to go to work when it's cold. Period. You know, you want to keep food on the table, you got to get firewood. Period. You got to do something to keep the house warm. Period. You know, you have to work. You can't just [ __ ] off. Yeah. And there's places where you like California you can just kind of chill.

23:55You can't chill in Boston. You'll freeze to death. Yeah, the air conditioning heat goes out in California you're like we're fine. Like in LA it's like the greatest every day is the greatest day ever. Yeah. I mean it feels amazing. But I I remember when I first came there in like 1993. I came I was doing something with MTV and me and my friend Gary Valentine we went out there and he was staying with me and we were wandering around. We're like dude, this is paradise. This is like another day in paradise. Like every day was like the sun was shining and it was beautiful. Is that who who did you who was your guys that you started with? Like Valentine? Val- Valentine I knew cuz I was good friends with Kevin James and it's Kevin's brother. And you know, in those days like I had left Boston right when Burr was coming up. So Burr was coming

24:41up right when I was leaving and you know, and then I went to New York right after that. So the guys that were with me like I met Chappelle when he was like Dave I think Dave was like 18 or 19. And um you know, Norton I knew Norton back then. I knew Neal Brennan when he was a doorman. He was a doorman at Boston Comedy. So Maron was he? Yeah, Maron was one of the guys that gave me like a really nice compliment when I was an open micer. When I was a raw open micer. Just hadn't been doing it very long at all. Yeah. And he said something nice to me and I remember like cuz he was a professional. I was like What everybody's mind when you first go. I went to so when I moved to New York I went to Boston Comedy Club and I barked and handed out flyers. Oh, did you do that? I did exactly what I did it with Pete Holmes. His show. I did exactly that show. So with Pete he

25:34got me I moved like 5 months after Pete did and he was like I'm barking at this club. And so I was like all right, I'll go do that. I remember just standing on the corner. It it taught me to learn to like when I have goals in comedy it was like learn just have little goals. Like I never set big goals. I always set just a goal that I can get and then so I was like I don't want to be on this corner. So it was like how do I get off this corner? And then it was like you just want to go stand in the door. Like I just I would like at that moment dream of just being able to take people's tickets at the door. Right. And so you're like and you're just you know, handing these flyers out. People are just dropping them in front of your face. Like no one cares dude. Like just throwing them. It's like 25° out here. Like yeah. And and so but I was at Boston so Chappelle

26:19used to always come by. This is 2004 or 5. So Chappelle would always come by and do spots. He'd go up in front of six, seven people. No one was there and then we'd go outside and just say hey, Chappelle's on stage. This was when Chappelle show has already been off the air. No. It's it's right before he ended it. Oh, so it was on? was on. Wow. He would come I remember him coming and having like white makeup on his neck like if he played like a white person on Chappelle show and he would still have it on, you know, cuz he'd come from there to uh Try straight to the club. And so we'd go up at Boston and we would and everybody would go on stage and I remember I'll never forget these one people they walked by and I said hey, Dave Chappelle's on stage. If y'all go watch for free. You know, and Boston Comedy Club remember had those steps and there was a window.

27:07And they go I don't believe you. I was like well, I'm at a comedy club. So I was like he's in there. Just go look in the window. If he's not there I think about those people every day. Like just they could have watched Chappelle for free. Those people and that 500 bucks. Those 500 bucks. We bring I bring them up to my life every day. And those people too. I did Dave show when he was in New York. We did this this Fear Factor episode and Tyrone Biggums was on Fear Factor and it was in a warehouse. It was in the middle of the winter. Freezing [ __ ] cold. No heat in the warehouse. So we had these little blast furnace. You know those things that they do on sets? Yeah. Those things that are blowing hot air out and you know, you just stand in front of that until it's time to do the scene and then you go out there and do

27:57the scene and everybody would run back and stand in front of the blast furnaces. But he was in character the He was having so much fun. Yeah. He was I mean watching him he would come by and you know, and he would go up for a while. He hosted one that when I think it's when Boston switched to the Comedy Village. Like it was like run My buddy Dustin Chafin is the one that got us. He was running the Boston at the time and then it switched to Comedy Village. Whoever sold it. But then Chappelle came by one night and hosted for everybody. Like all the even the open mic guys that were going up cuz he would come up and just do whatever obviously whatever he wanted. And it was and getting to see that Bill Burr was a big deal for me. Uh Patrice O'Neal. I used to sit in Patrice's car cuz he would park it out front of the Boston you couldn't park there and he'd

28:50go on stage and I would sit in his car and so if a cop came I would just drive his car around and wait till he got done. Wow. I went to there I saw Burr and Patrice were everybody's a big deal but they were they were big for me cuz when I went to New York, you know, that time 2005 something like that. They're you know, Burr is just a comic that people know him in New York but he's not he's not doing he's not what he is now obviously. And so they would come by and they they would run their HBO One Night Stands for these 30-minute specials. And I remember I timed Patrice's one night. He didn't ask me by the way. Just like a young comic being like I'll time it for you. And I he gets off and this is I have no concept of being on TV. I think like he has to do 30 to the dot. Right. And I tell him afterwards I was like that was like 34 minutes and he just

29:44There was no reason for me I mean I was so embarrassed about doing that. And now I know but it was like at the time I was just trying to be you know, a good comic and like Did you see his the Comedy Central documentary they did about him? I haven't watched it yet. I haven't got to watch it yet. either. I haven't either, but I will make make myself for sure. But I've seen so many of his sets. He was the best. He was he was for sure one of the greats, for sure. But he was but maybe even more important like he was a cornerstone of not giving a [ __ ] Yeah. You know what I mean? Like you had to have a guy like that that was an elite What the [ __ ] are you talking about? Yeah. And you you needed a guy like that to have a great point, like really well thought out point that was hilarious that showed you why you shouldn't care

30:33or why something was stupid. Yeah. Like I remember there was some controversy about Opie and Anthony and he went on some show and some one woman was saying that certain jokes could never be funny. And you know, and he and and he went and said like a joke that was on that subject that was funny. Yeah. And and then and then and he was like look at all but this is a point that he had that's like a really good point that I stick with to this day is like it all comes from the same place whether the joke is funny or the joke is not whether it's offensive or whether it's hilarious and non-offensive. It's coming from the same place. You're just trying to be funny. Yeah. And when you're comic you understand that because like you you'll say something that some people might find offensive, but the only reason why you're saying it is not because you're

31:24trying to be mean. You're saying it because you think there's something funny in there. Like you're trying to find the funny and sometimes like you'll slip and it doesn't doesn't work at all. Yeah. Agreeable is not funny. Right. Yeah. Like the whole point of it is like I can't agree with you. That's comedy is all built from sometimes if someone like they'll be like oh you're being mean to him. You're like well I don't that's what comedy is mean. Sometimes, yeah. It's mean. I I told a a joke where I said I did something to my dad but I came out and I did a show these people didn't expect a comedy. So they didn't know I was a comedian and I started telling my act. They don't know what I'm doing so it just sounds like I'm doing a mean speech. Cuz that's what comedy is if you have no if there's no context to it. Right. This guy's the worst.

32:07And you're like oh but if I if I just told them Right. I was the comedian they would be like oh okay. They'd get it. I still live to this day by some Patrice said. It was so I was uh I was kind of started with Big Jay Kurt Metzger. Kurt Metzger by the way one of Kurt and Big Big Jay were two one of the comics I ever saw that I just was like really where I was like you move to New York and you're like oh man this is like the real like these guys are like really good. You know. Have you been paying attention what Metzger's doing with Kyle Dunnigan? Yeah. [ __ ] Yeah. Metzger's one of the I mean one of the funniest guys I've ever I I he's super smart. watching him at the very beginning. I would I would he would he would take me on the road we did like these old weird gigs and so he would just call me his opener. And I'm

32:54like friends with Kurt at this point. I drove him to the gig and we'd be in the elevator and he's just on the phone he's like what's that? No I'm sitting here with my opener. I'm like Kurt just say my buddy. You know, like we're it's not like I'm opening for like you know, Seinfeld or something. Like it's like you're you're getting paid $800 for this weekend. Dude like he he just would tell me that to my face. And I got him in that room though I cuz he we were we shared a hotel room. That's where like the gig we're doing and he goes to put we're going to the bathroom and he's like is this lotion? And I would always just like mess with him or if he asked a dumb question. He goes is I need lotion is this says conditioner and I go that's it. It's conditioner for your skin. I just tell him that and then I walk in there and he's just rubbing conditioner all over

33:44And then we had to go do radio and we had to there he was he was He's uh That's why he called me opener. He's a brilliant guy but he's an odd duck. The the moment I met him the first time I met him I remember Montreal Ari introduced me to him and he goes hey what's up? And then he goes hey what are you doing for your hair? Your hair's falling out? You do anything for it? I was like whoa. I go yeah I'm minoxidil all kinds of [ __ ] He's like yeah me too. Yeah. And so I put it was just like literally the first words out of his mouth. Yeah yeah all right man. He's just he's got an interesting way of looking at things, but he's also got a a brilliant perspective because he grew up in a cult. You know, and because he grew up in a cult like he sees a lot of those same patterns in like woke thinking and he's like like where you can't question certain

34:29ideologies and he gets really angry cuz I know no no no no I know what the [ __ ] this is because I grew up with this [ __ ] Yeah. What was he a Jehovah's Witness? Yeah. That was it what right? Yeah. And you know, his stories about growing up as a Jehovah's Witness were [ __ ] crazy. can you imagine that coming to your door? Hey what are you doing with your hair? That's the first thing he says you're like oh what are you Well he's just I don't know. So happy he's around though. He's make me so happy at the comic store whenever I talk to him. Unbelievable. And when I watched him at the very beginning the Patrice thing that so Jay was we used to go to Patrice's house for uh like 4th of July or something he always had a party at his house. And so I would got invited and Jay and then someone I got into it with someone else one of

35:16Patrice's friends basically and he was like and he told Jay hey Patrice doesn't want Nate to come to the party. And then Jay calls Patrice and is like well the context of this too is like so Patrice would always ask me I grew up in the South like I grew up you know, Christian in the South typical Southern upbringing going to church all this stuff. So Patrice knew that and he would ask me like do you believe in dinosaurs and stuff and I would just go with what I would say no. I believe in them but like it was you know, I was like I want to just say no like I'm not going to give him what he wants. Right. Cuz then he would make fun of you and he'd be like Right. So I would always do that. And so then so Jay calls him and says hey our other guy says that Nate can't come to your house for that party. And Patrice was like what? He goes I didn't

36:00say that. He goes that dude doesn't believe in dinosaurs. You don't think I want that in my house? I want that all over my house. He goes he can come to the party and I've lived my life by that. With that I open-mindedness to go if someone came up to me and was like I don't believe in the moon I'd rather talk to that guy than a guy that does believe in the moon. Like it's funner to be like what's what's what kind of crazy they like All right dude. there's people out there that don't believe in the moon? Are there? I was yeah. No man I would love to talk to them. Yeah I don't know if I want them to know where I am. Like I'd I'd There's you know, I don't I don't know cuz it's going to be hard to get away from them. Like if they're that crazy. Like there's people them yeah. hashtag space is fake you need to Google that. Google space is

36:40fake. There's a bunch of people that think the space is fake and that we are on a flat plane. Yeah. We're on some sort of a flat plane and that the stars are lights. Yeah. And that this is all this is a conspiracy Yes. Okay. That that it's a conspiracy to keep us from understanding that God has created us and that we're we're special. We're not one of an infinite number of planets in the universe. No. No, we are we are God's creation and this is this is the the heavenly petri dish or whatever the [ __ ] that start going down that road I don't know what cap it is so I'll probably be like I'll be in it. Yeah just be like I just sit with this group. It's wild man because the thing about these YouTube videos is if somebody puts together a YouTube video what they can do is talk very eloquently and articulately and say [ __ ] that's batshit

37:30crazy that doesn't make any sense at all to a scientist. Yeah. But if they say it and no one interrupts them and goes stop that's not how it works. Stop that's not true. Stop this is the real statistics. Stop this is how we know that's not true and this is how they studied it and this is all the scientists that worked on this for 50 [ __ ] years. Yeah. And then you're making a YouTube video saying that these were all you know, Nazi propagandists that were put here by the Rockefellers Yeah. to ruin children's education. But you could you you could say that in a video and if I watch I'm like [ __ ] man. You know what I learned today? I learned that some crazy [ __ ] about space. It's not even real. Yeah. And there's a bunch it's kind of died off. Like the flat earth thing was a great example of that. There was a

38:11period of time where it was like a mental contagion. Like it it made its way through a lot of dumb stoners. A lot of people that don't read. A lot of people that don't pay attention to science or just a lot of people that are like really in disbelief of everything the government says. And there was like hundreds of videos about space and and the earth being flat and you know, that there's a an ice wall around Antarctica. It's kind of gone away now. People have abandoned it for the most part. But I used to follow it like to the point where I was like it was one of the most stunning things about the internet was how many people were out there that really believed the world was flat. Yeah. How many people was it? Like could it be that many people? Is it I think it was thousands. Thousands. There was a basketball player. Who was the basketball player?

38:58Yeah. Yeah. He's a flat earther. Uh He's not anymore. Yeah. He abandoned it. And he you know, he admitted Did he? Like he he's like yeah. Yeah maybe. I think he went down a rabbit hole. Like if you but this is what I'm saying like you can go down a YouTube rabbit hole and watch these videos and they make so much sense. Oh yeah. They'll tell you things and they'll speak in this tone and this is why it happened and this is why you think this and this is why it's a lie and you're like wow I've been lied to and it it's a mind [ __ ] Yeah. I would like to see those guys families like just their family life like their daughters like I drew a picture and you're like I don't have time for this right now. You know, where the earth is flat. Like I mean just like the weight if that was true the weight they have to walk around with they feel like it's a lot.

39:42know something that everybody else doesn't. Everybody does it. That's how I always look at stuff is like if you do conspiracies you tend to want to be more true than they're not. Like if you feel yourself wanting something to be like I hope that's real. You're like it's probably not real, dude. Like cuz it's it's too good. Right, that's Bigfoot. Yeah. Bigfoot's too good. I love Bigfoot. I believe. I watched this documentary the other day. Um It's called I think it was it's called um Missing Persons 411 Hunters or something like that. And what it is about it's like a really screwy documentary. But the the concept of the documentary is that there's a been a bunch of people that just disappeared in the national forests. Is that it? Missing 411 The Hunted, yeah. Oh. So in national forests like there's people that have disappeared with no trace.

40:37And not a few of them. But really what it is is just the vastness of the forest. I think people underestimate like how vast forests are. It's a lot. It's a lot. You can I've been to Oregon, Mount Hood. Oh my god. the cab driver I go you guys got a lot of trees here. That's how much I was overwhelmed by the trees. Yeah. Just on the ride there is it an uncomfortable I was like this is a lot of trees. He's like all right. Well, the thing about the Pacific Northwest is it's essentially a rainforest like what Mount Rainier all those areas. So the amount of water and nutrients in the soil is absurd. So there's the trees are like they're like Q-tips in a box of Q-tips. Like you can't believe how dense they are. So if you saw a bear moving between those trees, you can convince yourself it was a Sasquatch. Yeah. Especially if you saw a bear

41:23standing up on two feet, which they do all the time. Yeah. Bears walk on two feet all the time. There's tons of video of them doing it. So if you saw that in between trees from 100 yards away at dusk when it start getting dark and you're like [ __ ] And they make weird noises too. Like bears especially when they're standing up cuz a lot of times when they're standing up they're trying to threaten other bears. So they're they're like moving towards them and It which sounds like a gorilla, right? But there's tons of video of I've seen it personally with my eyes in the woods. I've seen bears fight and I've seen bears from 30 yards away stand up and go at each other like that. Yeah. I've seen it and I've seen them make those noises. They're threatening each other. But if you're in the woods and you see that and it's dark out and

42:13maybe you've never seen a bear before and you know maybe you're just [ __ ] out on a hike and you see that you like oh my god I saw Bigfoot and you will dedicate your whole life to like finding Bigfoot and finding proof. And the the floor there in the forest is so thick with leaves and pine needles that when you step on it it doesn't even leave a footprint. It's just like a soft like a like a composting pile. Like everything is just sort of deteriorating in these like thick layers of pine needles and leaves and sticks and branches. And you're not going to find footprints. You're not going to find any. Did you know Les Stroud? Yeah. He so he did that show Survivorman Bigfoot, yeah. But it just went away. Bro, that show I love Les Stroud. love yeah love. I love Survivorman. That show was so [ __ ] dumb. Yeah. He had a guy on the show that

43:11is known in the Bigfoot world as being full of [ __ ] Yeah. Which is bad. Like if the Bigfoot I mean this is one of the things that I wanted to bring up about that 411 The Hunted thing. There's audio recording that was supposedly taken from the 1970s from northern California. Um I want to say Sonoma? I don't remember where it was. It was somewhere in northern California. But it's called they call them the Samurai Sounds. The Samurai and it's the weirdest [ __ ] ever, man. It's like these guys had this spot that they would go into the into the mountains and they would hunt every year. And they built the structure out there and then they brought recording equipment and they claimed to have recorded sounds of these animals, these Bigfoot. And that they these Bigfoot were around them all the time while they were up there. Now what's crazy about it is

44:17the sounds are so weird. It sounds like someone pretending to be Japanese that doesn't actually speak Japanese. Yeah. Have you ever heard it? No. It's I'm we'll play it for you. It's cuz it's the weirdest [ __ ] It's it sounds so strange and so fake. But you know like they have these quote unquote experts that say the human voice is not capable of making sounds remotely similar to this. The range is which doesn't make any sense if you know who Michael Winslow is. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, I know. That guy who That guy went on a woman peeing when she goes to the bathroom. He does everything. does everything. He did Led Zeppelin. He played Whole Lotta Love with his mouth and it sounds incredible. But um this Samurai sound like there's these loud whoops whoops and these guys are like in the foreground, you know, like the guys

45:06who are recording they're trying to communicate with these things. They sound so calm. I mean if there really was giant [ __ ] 8-foot apes out there wandering around like you know, 2-300 yards away from you screaming and whooping and talking, would you really and you're in the woods, would you really be so calm? Would wouldn't you be freaking the [ __ ] out? But these guys Do you have it? Yeah, I'm trying to make sure I find the right thing cuz I'm stumbling across some traps. Oh. Like people are making [ __ ] around on the internet. I wish I could remember the gentleman's name. Well, I think I have it is all I'm saying. So Ronald J. Morehead and Alan Berry maybe. Is that right? Yes, Ron Morehead, yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's it. The Sierra Mountains, And so um it's the weirdest [ __ ] ever. Listen,

45:57just listen to this. You're going to I read what it could be, but we'll listen first. It could be [ __ ] Listen to the guy. This is horrible. Stop stop stop. This is a terrible version of it. There's a better version of it where you can hear the guys really clearly, the people talking. I don't know why that's so scratchy. But they're they're like they're over by the lake. Like they're this very strange sound. And they're calm and calm about it. Yeah. And these you know supposed vocal experts are analyzing it. The human body You know, and that area of You got it? I don't know. It says HD. Okay, let me They're knocking. That's another thing Scoot it ahead a little bit and hear the Still sounds terrible. Anyway. These people believe that [ __ ] Les Stroud was balls deep in this. Balls deep. Apparently he had an experience

48:29and I talked to him about his experience. It's pretty interesting. He was in um not with that guy. But he but he was in Alaska. And apparently he heard some crazy noises like some monkey sounds outside of his in the middle of nowhere. No one's ever in there. And he said he heard something run away, some bipedal sound of something running away. But again even though he is an experienced woodsman and he's a guy who's, you know, camped out countless nights in the middle of nowhere and survives in the middle of nowhere and documents it. Like he's the reason why those survivor shows exist. Yeah. Cuz that guy literally would starve to death and try to eat like bark and whatever the [ __ ] he could for seven You could see his face like sinking in as he was losing weight. I mean he really did do that. He did all sorts of different things to try to survive and

49:18then documented how he was doing it what he would do. But he got obsessed with Bigfoot and then developed that Bigfoot show. And unfortunately a lot of people lost a lot of faith in him because of that. They're like no, you're the legit survivor guy and now you're doing this show and this is why it's ridiculous. There was one episode of the show where they had this guy who he was with who had video of a Sasquatch, like high definition video. And it looks so fake. Yeah. It's like he's like the Sasquatch is looking at him through the woods and he's like, "There he is. There he is." It's a guy with a mask on. I saw the video. He yells out, "I'm a Sasquatch." You're like, "Okay, did you just yell that out?" And he makes the makes the sound of a Sasquatch. Bigfoot. But this, you know, the the guy who had the video is known to be like

50:05full [ __ ] And here he's got this guy on his show and then he you know, "Is this real? You be the judge." Like, "Yeah, I'm going to say it's not real. It's a guy with a [ __ ] mask on." I think I did read that that guy was very not respected. Yes. And that By the Bigfoot community. Yeah. You know, the Bigfoot community. Again, very open-minded. Yeah, he's very just into everything. There's other things like they would they would see trees that would fall over like in certain patterns and they were convinced that Sasquatch was leaning these trees against each other. I thought it was to like yeah, to not to let you know where not to go. Yeah, that's they had this idea I mean, it's all theory, right? This idea that I've been following the wrong guy, dude. I believe all the stuff that you like is fake. I'm like, "Yeah."

50:54I only watched that Les Stroud one cuz of that other guy. I I want it to be real. That's the thing, man. I do too. If someone had a convincing Bigfoot encounter where they caught it on video where it was like, "Holy [ __ ] what is that? Like what is that?" Or there was something. But there's nothing. Like I you know, I've I've talked to a lot of those people when I did this show called Joe Rogan Questions Everything for Sci-Fi and me and Duncan Trussell actually went camping in the Pacific Northwest. We didn't really camp. We pretend to go camping and then we went to a hotel. And then we came back the next morning like, "Well, rough night of camping." But we were out there for days trying to look for Sasquatch and talking to people that hunt for Sasquatch. And the one conclusion that we came to is it's a bunch of unfuckable white dudes. Yeah,

51:41they're just out there. They're just out there camping. It's just but the the desire for it to be real is so strong. It's It would change I watched, you know, like that Finding Bigfoot show. I used to always think cuz people are like, "Why is it on?" I'm like, I don't know, man, cuz it's fun to watch and if they find him, the world is different now. Like if they come back with Bigfoot, everything's different. Everything's different. Everything's getting different with the alien thing. Yeah. The fact that they're been saying it's that that's like true, you're like, "It's a lot, dude. That's a lot to take." If we get, you know, I know that they have the videos and stuff the aliens but like if you if you we get up straight up start talking to one, I mean, what what what I don't know, what's going to happen? Well, here's something that came out

52:22today, Jamie. I'm going to send you this cuz uh Sagar and Jetty from Rising on the Hill and I've been going back and forth with this and I I found this today and sent it to him. It's um I'll send it to you right now, Jamie. Um it says, "Paradigm shifting UFO tech that alters space-time is operable, US Navy Chief Tech Officer." So it's some story that I didn't bother looking into because I I saw it when I was on my way out the door and I was like, "What in the [ __ ] is this?" Cuz there's been all these sightings of these things that move in some weird way. "Paradigm shifting UFO tech there So there's these things that have been that move in this weird way that don't show any propulsion system. And due to censorship, please join us on Telegram." What did it say? "Documents obtained by The Drive show the revolutionary technology that has

53:21capability to alter space-time may actually be operable according to the Naval Aviation Enterprise Chief Technology Officer Dr. James How do you say that name? Sheehy?" It says "operable" in quotes. What is that? I don't know. Good question. "Reflect on Why is technology that has the potential change the entire human experience for the better always used for the defense purposes and military applications? What are the betterments What about the betterment of humanity?" Yeah. I don't know. Um but it's Christopher Mellon who's that guy who keeps coming up with all this UFO tech stuff. Can you scroll back up, please? just like writing I was reading through Twitter. It's like a story. It's not really like an article. Right. Um Twitter feed of Christopher Mellon, the former Deputy Assistant Defense Secretary for Intelligence from '97 to 2002. Doing so I came across an

54:15interesting post from The Drive regarding documents they received via the Freedom of Information Act regarding a space-time modification weapon developed by the US Navy which apparently has already gone through experimental testing. This in turn led me to evidence suggesting that other revolutionary type of technology that could no doubt be used to change the world for the better blah blah blah was already operable. Yeah, I don't know. But that This is what If you pay attention to the UFO world, you pay attention to that [ __ ] at all? Uh not like actively. There's a guy named Bob Lazar and he's one know that from cuz you talked to him, yeah. Yeah. It was one of the weirdest conversations I've ever had cuz you're like, "Okay, are you crazy? Are you full [ __ ] or is this real?" Cuz if it is real, It's this thing

55:01is a special effect created a guy who is a special effect artist. Do you remember his name, Jamie, who made this thing for us? This gentleman. He's got a um designs designs by Perry. Designs by Perry at Instagram. And he created this thing. And this is like a scale model of what Bob Lazar supposedly worked on. He was hired by the United States military to work at Area S4 which is part of the Area 51 Area 51 site S4, site four was this place where he allegedly worked to back engineer the spaceships. And the way these things moved around was exactly how this Christopher Mellon guy, or this article rather, that quoted him is describing that they use some sort of gravity space-time bending technology. So they didn't use a propulsion system like a rocket that shoots flame out the back. They bent time in front of them and just would shoot instantaneously to wherever the

56:09[ __ ] they wanted to go. So you would be like instantly be able to go. Instantly. What's [ __ ] is that there was an instance off of the coast of San Diego in 2004 where a Navy pilot by the name of Commander David Fravor who I've also had on the show experienced this thing that they called the Tic Tac UFO. They tracked it with radar, they tracked it with the camera systems on the on the on their plane. And they even have video footage of this thing. It went from 80,000 ft above sea level to one in a second. Wow. That's the amount of time that it takes for radar to do the blip blip Yeah. blip blip. So in that time, it traveled 80,000 ft. They have no idea how the [ __ ] it did that. It shows no propulsion heat signature. They took video footage of this thing and it went from there it took off where they couldn't even follow

57:05with their eye, just disappeared to the predetermined destination where they were supposed to coordinate later. So it's like it's reading their tracking systems or reading where they were going. And the people that worked on the aircraft carrier were telling the the fighter pilot like, "We've been seeing these things over, you know, we see them like every couple weeks. We have no idea what the [ __ ] going on." Yeah. And they they just say, "Well, there it is. You know, what what are we going to do about that?" Yeah. Yeah, but I like to picture the like an alien in that Tic Tac. He's like, "Whoa, slow it down, dude. You're kind of crazy right now." Like he's he's having a bad cuz he's got to be having just a day. Whoever's in there, some kind of day. Maybe having a day. That's a It's a lot to Yeah, I don't you think it's like a lot

57:46to just tell people? Like if they had to be like to tell like just Earth all of us humans on Earth to like wrap our head around what would happen? I think what do you say if that's all you know? Like if you are the military and all you know is that something can do these things. Something can move at this speed. You know, the New York Times had a front page article about it a couple of years ago. And um basically they're saying, "Hey, you know, there are videos of things moving in a way that we don't understand that aren't exhibiting a heat signature that indicates a propulsion system. We don't know what it is." And this is and then the the there was the COVID-19 bill that just got passed and one of the provisions in the COVID-19 bill was that they have 60 60 No, 180 days to release all the information they have about UFOs. It's a you know, But I don't know if

58:41they're going to do anything with I think they're going to do nothing with that it's in this 19 bill. Yeah, well, a lot of weird [ __ ] was in the COVID-19 bill like like foreign aid. There's a lot of foreign aid to Pakistan, aid to all these countries. It's like people just to get it passed, they're like, "Okay, I will we'll say yes, but I want you to do a little little favor for me and put this in the bill." Yeah. And there's you know, it just shows you how greasy politicians are. Yeah, yeah, it's kind of crazy. Yeah. Yeah. But that's allegedly What? that UFO technology is. Wow. So if that's real if that article is based on anything that's even remotely true that they that they're actually doing the government is actually doing experiments on these things and they have this technology, that would kind of explain whatever

59:24these things are that they're seeing. That instead of it being alien technology, it's some super high level military tests and they figured out how to do some things that we don't understand yet. The question is, how did they develop this stuff? Did they develop it from UFOs, or is the UFO thing the cover-up because they have like some super high-tech weapon, and they don't want other countries to know about it. So, to mock it, they'll say it's like alien technology to make it seem ridiculous. If we traveled like that, that'd be huge for Road Comics. Just to go bounce around. Instantly. Instantly. No jet lag. Where'd you Did you Did you use that technology just to be like, "Where'd you go, funny bone?" Boom. You're in Denver. Yeah, I'm in Denver Comedy Works. Yeah, I was just featuring. I could Boom. You're in Poughkeepsie. Look, I'm

60:12a bananas. Yeah. I like to use that much technology for Would you do that even flying for just the least amount of comics just doing dumb jokes? Right. You're using I mean, people died over this this technology. Right. And you're like, I just told some fart jokes on stage for Well, what if they found out that some people died from it? You know, just like they think that some people die from vaccines. But, it's a very small number in comparison to people that it's going to help. What if some people died when they did this jump and they You know, to some other place. Some people just melted, and they're like, "Hey, what happened to Tom?" Oh, he's got that gene variant. Yeah. And Tom's a puddle. Yeah. Well, I I would I would imagine people died for Like it They would be like They would just be like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've never done this before, dude." Like

60:56Could be. Yeah. I mean, maybe that's they throw Don't they use monkeys a lot? They used to. Yeah, for space travel. Do they just have them around? Well, unfortunately, yes. They have them for medical research. They have them for all sorts of [ __ ] Yeah, not good. It's not good. It's tough being a monkey. Tough times. They They experiment with makeup on monkeys. Yeah. Yeah. Put lipstick on a monkey. Yeah. Imagine the indignity. You're in a cage. You're locked up, and you're kind of smart. Yeah. You're kind of smart. Yeah. You know, you're not like people smart, but you're close. You got hands, and you're holding onto the bars. Dude, I remember I went to a zoo once. I can't remember what city it was in, but I remember I was with my kids, and we walked by this monkey cage, and this monkey was by itself in a small cage screaming.

61:45Like a Like a crazy person. Like a person trapped. Just "Wah! And I remember thinking, "Oh my god, this is the saddest thing I've ever seen in my life." Like this poor monkey wants to be in the jungle. Wants to be swinging around on trees and eating fruit and having a good time with his monkey friends. Instead, he's alone in a cage being stared at by people all day long. Just stared. Stared at. And then you're like Then we took a picture and we got out of there. We got All right, He's still doing it cuz you're like, "Well, I'm here." Hey, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? It is to But, don't they have Aren't there sometimes like the the I don't know, but you want to believe that these zoos are You know, it's like a lot of times it's animals that are hurt or can't that wouldn't survive. I mean, they tell you they tell you that. So, you want to

62:32believe that that you're not going to some crazy, you know, I don't know, man. You know, I think there's some endangered species that are kept in zoos, and you know, they they can protect their numbers in a certain way in zoos. There's probably a better way to do it, though. There's probably a better way to do it. They would have They would need a lot of land. Pacific Northwest? Nah. Let the gorillas loose. Yeah. I think, you know, it's it's weird when One of the things that's weird, and this is a pragmatic way of looking at it, but kind of a [ __ ] up way of looking at it is most species that have ever lived have gone extinct. Yeah. If they can stop things from going extinct, what if the next step is bringing things back? Well, if they could bring things back, like what if they just start bringing back [ __ ] Like a bunch of things.

63:21Like a raptor. Saber-toothed tiger. Yeah, saber-toothed tiger. Start bringing [ __ ] back. Why not? People would be excited, for sure. But then, what are we doing? Like if we're just going to keep Like I'm not saying we should let things go extinct, and I'm definitely not saying we should allow human beings' actions to make things go extinct and do nothing to prevent it. But, I am saying it is there's an inevitability of life. And I don't think we want to we want to accept that because I think human beings, because we have a finite lifespan, we have a finite life. You know, we know it's going to end. We we are fearful of that. We're fearful of animals dying, as well. Fearful of losing animals. We're fearful of Like we can't stop all things from going extinct cuz things went extinct way before people were ever around.

64:09Yeah. They just don't work right in the new environment, and the environment changes and evolves, and the ecosystems T-Rex not being here's That's a big deal. Probably a lot easier to do things. What about a one of them? Just one of them on Jurassic That we just leave. Well, they should They have one. They go, "We let them loose in America, so y'all just deal with that every day." You just don't know where he's at. That catches out there. They go, "All right, we brought one back." Did you guys check the app before you went on vacation to see where Godzilla is? Yeah, where is he at? I remember There's a place you can drive uh from Louisville to Louisville, Kentucky to Nashville uh when you're driving down uh 65, and they have a life-size Tyrannosaurus Rex on the side of the road. But, I always like seeing it cuz you want to You always like, "How big

64:56was it?" Like when you walk around, you want to see a tree to be like, "Can you imagine that tree just being It was like a giant a giant giant lizard that would just eat your car." And you got to Have you been to a Museum of Natural History Natural History and looked at those giant skeleton skeletons of them? yeah. Yeah. It's enormous. Yeah. I think it's hard to imagine cuz you're seeing a skeleton. It's sort of this framework of what a thing is, and yeah, I I kind of get it. But, if they had one that they did up like special effects style and made it really look like a T-Rex. Like They don't really know what a T-Rex actually look They think they might have had feathers. Do you know that? No, I bet they wouldn't appreciate it, though. Okay, the T-Rex. I don't like that baby. They think that a lot of dinosaurs were in fact in the bird family. Mm. You

65:48know, cuz a lot of birds today, they exhibit a lot of the things a lot of characteristics that dinosaurs had. They think that a lot of lot. That's more than I've ever heard. Really? We're in a whole Yeah. I don't know how much I've talked about dinosaurs, to be honest. But, like I don't know how many conversations I've been in, but I've never That's never been sprung on me. One of my kids is my youngest daughter is obsessed with dinosaurs. She knows a lot about them. She knows a lot about weird [ __ ] Yeah, but you That That's what birds are. Birds are basically dinosaurs that lived. Wow. Like chickens. Yeah. Chickens are like survival They've even found really recently some fossils that show feathers. Cuz it up until now, it was a theory. But then, they found dinosaur fossils with fossilized feathers that indicate this dinosaur was

66:34like a bird, that it was covered in feathers. That's crazy. Yeah. I didn't I had no idea that they were that that that that any of that was true. Yeah. They have a There's a version a life-size version of a raptor that's in a museum in Bozeman, Montana. And on one side, it shows what it would look like if it was like a lizard, like a crocodile or something. And the other side, it shows it covered in feathers. And it goes over this theory that they might have had feathers, that they might have been I love that they have both those up there. Like it's like being like, "We don't know for sure, but like it's probably one of those two." It's pretty dope. See if you can find that. You got it? Yeah, it's pretty dope. Cuz why not? Well, why wouldn't they have feathers? There it is. That's the thing it might have looked like. Okay. Yeah.

67:20But, on the other side, it still show it. Does it show the other side, too? Yeah, but there's a prob- there's a high school there. Their team name is the Raptors, so I'm looking it up. That's all I got. Oh. Yeah, in Montana. Yeah, so that's it. That's the thing. Yeah. So, one side of it I think I'm right. I think one side of it was I moved after I looked it up before, that's why it was so quick. But, that's Most I know is from Jurassic Park. So, that's it. That's all you know about dinosaurs? Yeah, they showed that movie in class, and then they go, "All right, that's good. We'll call it a day." And then There it is. How much stupid [ __ ] do you pay attention to? Are you Do you watch the stupid movies? Like you going to watch King Kong versus Godzilla? Uh I can watch some of that. Yeah. I don't I'm not like I've never been to the

68:04craziest superhero fan or that kind of stuff, but I can definitely like, you know, if it catches me right, I'm like, "Oh, see what's going on with this." Like you know, why not? Go see see what's happening. You Were you a comic book fan when you were a kid? No. I was never Not not the giant, you know, I'm a big sports fan. Like I like sports stuff like that. I watched the golf. We were talking about that earlier. UFC I've got into. I think UFC uh I would As a regular guy that watch sports, UFC does right now, I think, the best job of like getting me like getting the mes of the world that just I'm used to I know football, baseball, basketball, golf. Like I know kind of the main ones. And I think UFC's doing the greatest job in all of sports to to attract me. Like I And I would think I'm a you know, an average American. Just an

68:56How have they've done that? What What They You guys talking about how good people are is big. So, uh once I found out like that Jon Jones I love like once-in-a-lifetime athletes. When you get like a LeBron, Michael Jordan. You get these things that you're like, "We're lucky to even get to see a guy like this." Right. And so, then I see that Jon Jones is that. And I hear about Jon Jones being that. Like I like Ji- George GSP. I never saw GSP. I was never I saw him fight Bisping was the only fight. And I know that he's a great, but UFC wasn't in my world. Back then. Back then, when he was a champ. Yeah. And so, I go Jon Jones. I think Conor McGregor's probably, you know, in a sense of like this kind of Tiger Woods of just getting people excited about this sport that you're like, "Well, I love this dude. This dude's crazy." Which then got then introduced me to

69:47Khabib. So, then I see Khabib and now I'm fascinated by Khabib cuz you're like, "Oh, this him and Jon Jones are these once-in-a-lifetime Mhm. kind of guys." And so, like I I I love that and I So, I want to watch these once Like I want to watch cuz I'm like, "These guys are they're not normal." And so, we should be I should be seeing these. And I think UFC does that. I understand Usman when he said like show some respect to my name, I get it because in my I mean, I almost didn't I watched the fight, but I almost didn't. If I had something come up, I might not have watched it. Cuz that's cuz Usman's not I didn't know completely. And then after I watched it and I hear y'all talk about him and you explain how good this guy really is. I'm like, "Oh, I'll never miss another fight of him now." Mhm. Yeah. Because I cuz it you know, we don't know anything about

70:34the sport really. So, when you're telling me like, "Hey, you're lucky to be you know, in a in a sense, but we're lucky to be watching these guys. This is not normal." Right. Jon Jones was when he fought Daniel Cormier. Like I didn't know really Cor- Cormier, right? And I I don't really know him. So, I see Jon Jones beat him. And then I'm like, "Okay." And then Cormier fights uh Stipe Stipe Miocic. The one he beat and he destroyed him. And then I go, "Oh, that's how good Jon Jones is." Like I'm like Jon Jones looked so dominant. Yeah. And then I see Daniel and you're like, "Oh, Daniel's like one of the greatest." And then you're like, "Oh, that guy's even like it putting these pieces together is huge. Yeah, champions that beat champions. It's And when that gets explained, I think UFC's doing the best job of explaining that kind of thing. The press conferences

71:27I'll watch every Dana White press conference. No one talks like that, dude. No one I watch all these sports, it's the same answers as you know, how how's is Tom Brady going to retire? I don't know, maybe he is, maybe he's not. It's the same like who cares answer. It's pointless to ask. And Dana White like after the Conor fight they're like, "Did you talk to Khabib?" He's like, "Yeah, just called him. Khabib said none of these people are on my level." You're like, "What?" I've never heard a president tell me what the guy said. Right. That's like the only thing you That's the answer you want to know. And Dana like just tells you. He'll be like, "I'm about to go have dinner with him." You're like, "Well, I don't think I should." I've never heard the owner of the Cowboys tell me that. Like he never you know, he never told me like I'm about to go talk to this guy.

72:11Dana White is got He's like one of those guys that has [ __ ] you money and actually says [ __ ] you. Yeah. It's it's a rare person. Yeah. And so, that's And so, I'm I you know, I got my friends now and I'm like, "Hey, we got to watch this fight." Now I know more. He fits the sport, you know. Fits the sport perfectly. just a wild sport and he's a a wild president. Yeah. You know, as far as someone who's like in control of a gigantic sports organization, the way he talks and how much he swears and No, they don't I mean, yeah, how much like they And that but that's what makes it good where have like politically correct people running a cage fighting organization. Yeah, yeah. It's like too ridiculous. Like they they don't make sense together. Usman is actually fighting uh Jorge Masvidal in a full arena next month,

72:57which is [ __ ] crazy. So, I might have canceled shows in May, folks. I might get the cooties. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This might be the time. This might be the I'm going to fill up with vitamins and God knows what else. and it's going to be 15,000 people. It's it's I mean, and to see them they just fought, but he filled in for him, right? Well, what happened was a short notice fight where um Masvidal took the fight on 6 days notice and everyone says that uh Usman dominated him. Which uh he definitely won. Usman definitely won the fight. There's no question, but Masvidal had some moments in that fight, particularly standing up where he caught Usman with some good shots. At the very beginning, right? Where it was like it looked like he was in trouble. He definitely had his moments. And when you consider the fact the guy

73:44didn't have any time to prepare, like no time. Six 6 days notice to take the fight. Um it would be a curious fight to see as a rematch. However, there's a lot of other people in the division that are also elite. And then there's the conversations like are they having this because it's the most marketable fight? Are they having this because uh they think he deserves it after he took the fight on short notice? There's a lot of good arguments in that way. Like, "Hey, a guy puts on a very good performance with 6 days notice. How's he going to do with 6 weeks or 8 weeks? How's he going to do with a real camp?" Yeah. I don't know how much time he's even had to prepare. I don't know if he's had 6 weeks. I mean, from now to the fight is what? 5 weeks? How many How many weeks is it from now until uh that UFC card? The big one in in Florida. Are the camps like is it is

74:33it that crazy when he has to go fight when Usman just has to change and go fight another guy? Cuz you're preparing for his style. Is that what you're preparing for? Like, "Hey, this dude likes to punch." You also need recovery time. Like he just had a Well, it was a quick knockout. It was a second round knockout with Gilbert Burns, but he did have some moments in the first round where he got cracked and he got dropped. And then he also did go through a long training camp. And when you go through long training camps, there's always injuries. Guys tweak their neck or they [ __ ] their knee up or they get their ankle gets rolled. There's always something and you don't know about that something. Like for instance, when Usman fought Masvidal the first time, he had a broken nose going into the fight. So, his nose was broken like

75:17in the fight. Like as the fight Like he broke it 2 weeks before the fight. So, he had a broken nose to start with. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. So, there's don't check like do they They don't check. Like if he wants to fight, it's like that's his. the only way to check a broken nose is to get an X-ray. When you look at his nose, his nose looks fine. He's got a crack in it. Yeah. You know, like how you going to know? You're not going to know. So, after the fight, they go, "Hey, you got a broken nose." He's like, "Yeah, I had that already." Yeah. Like he had two of them. Like an underlying condition. But also, you know, when he got hit a lot in that fight because Masvidal can crack. So, and Masvidal's a really good striker. He's very clever. But Usman is that high level. Oh, yeah. Yeah, like it's like He's lost lost once his whole career,

76:00never lost in UFC, and literally maybe has only lost one or two rounds ever in his career. I mean, you could you could make the argument that maybe he lost the first round of Gilbert Burns fight, but towards the end of that first round he was kind of beating Burns up and Burns was on the ground. But he did get dropped with some big punches, but then he wound up, you know, in enforcing his will and and and pushing his will on the Gilbert. So, you could make an argument that maybe Gilbert might have squeaked that round by, but maybe not. But then the second round he smashes him. He's a monster. He's so physically strong and his his mind is so strong. That guy's knees are so [ __ ] up, man. They're so [ __ ] up he can't run. You know, he he has to do all kinds of different forms of cardio cuz his his knees were so mangled. He told me that

76:47when he was um when he would walk after training, he wouldn't walk on the sidewalk. He'd have to walk on the grass cuz it hurt his knees to walk on the sidewalk. That's crazy. That's crazy. But he gets in there, you don't notice it. You don't I I didn't I've never even heard that, so. His idea is, "Listen, I'm just going to wear these [ __ ] out while I'm the champ and then I'll get my knees replaced when I get old." Well, that's when you I looked up like who he would fight next cuz I then you look, you know, like I don't you know, it's like it's hard to sometimes even tell their weight classes cuz you're Sometimes you'll see a guy you're like, "What's this guy like 190?" Like 120 lbs. You're like, "I don't know." He's just jacked. He's on TV, so I don't know. Cuz I didn't realize like Israel Adesanya. Like he's like pretty tall. Like I didn't realize

77:28how big he was. Right. And you're like, "Oh, he's a pretty big dude." Uh but like they're they're in that weight class. But Khabib and Usman could never they could never fight. Like they're too far. I think he said he wouldn't fight him. Well, Khabib is 170, Usman is one or excuse me, Khabib is 155, Usman's 170. Khabib could fight at 170 if he wanted to. You know, he just wouldn't cut as much weight. He's he's not the same size as Usman, but he absolutely could compete at 170 if he wanted to, but he's done. He's retiring. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, he's yeah. His his father died. His father got COVID and died. And um he made a promise to his mother that he would stop fighting after this last fight. So, he beat Justin Gaethje, defended his title, 29 and 0, and he's like, "That's it. I'm done." And UFC's been trying to talk him

78:17into fighting again, but so far He would have to see a reason to come back. Yeah. I mean, he's a simple living guy. I mean, he's a complex person, but he's he drives a Toyota truck. Yeah. Millionaire. Multimillionaire. Yeah. He drives a [ __ ] like a regular car, lives in the same house he's lived in forever. He's very religious. Yeah. Devout Muslim. So, he doesn't he doesn't have any need for wealth or riches and he's beloved in his country. I mean, he's a hero. Yeah. I would imagine. Why not go out on top? And also, why not go out with all your faculties intact, millions of dollars in the bank? That's the dream. The dream of every fighter is to go out an undefeated champion with millions of dollars in the bank, at the top of your game, in your prime. Not when your skills are starting to deteriorate, not when you're taking too

79:04many shots, but go out on top. Yeah. And that's what he's decided to do. And I salute that. I think it's awesome. I would love to see him fight again just cuz I'm a fan cuz he's a monster. But I also I love the fact that he decided not to. He's so Yeah, he's so like I've enjoyed uh when I found out about him to really get to watch him just because it was like oh this guy I'm watching Michael Jordan. Yeah. And so like I like you know then you start getting really into it and then I mean what what he with Justin Gaethje was kind of I was like oh Justin Gaethje looked so good against Tony Ferguson. You know I don't know their fighting but I'm like ah he looks crazy this is going to be crazy and then it's just really not cuz Khabib is unreal. He's unreal. He's he mauls people. I think women women division two that's another thing. UFC's basically the only

79:53you know sport I'm really watching like excited for women fights like you hear these big names and UFC does an amazing job at that. And I always think that's pretty crazy to be like there's you just not used to that as a sports fan you know you're you the the WNBA or something not that you don't like these sports but you just don't tend to watch them. Don't get pumped up about professional women's sports. Ronda Rousey I mean Ronda Rousey was a big kind of Well she was the one who made it you know she made it big. Yeah. And before her Gina Carano who you know got in trouble. Oh yeah that's where she came oh. Yeah that's where she came from. That that whole [ __ ] ridiculous [ __ ] with the Mandalorian. It's crazy. Um Claressa Shields is the obviously if you do you follow boxing most people follow boxing know who she

80:48is but she's the only one in that boxing world and she's a multiple time world champion she's won in multiple divisions. She won a gold medal in the 2012 and then again in the 2016 Olympics. And now she's undefeated professional boxer and she's the elite of the elite she's going to fight in MMA now. She's making her she's doing both for a while and she's going to fight in June in her first MMA fight in the there's an organization called the PFL. And she was on here yesterday and that's one of the things that Claressa was talking about was that in boxing they don't really promote women's fights other than you know really hers is the only one that she feels that's under promoted but that's why women's boxing just doesn't have the same value as women's MMA. Cuz women in MMA they make great money and there's big stars Big Yeah it's it's huge it's a Holly

81:41Holm I'd watch all her fights after that like after the Ronda Rousey thing. Amanda Nunes huge star. Uh is she though Amanda Nunes is no one can beat her. She's a destroyer. Yeah. She's a destroyer. She's I mean it's not that no one can beat her cuz she has lost in the past. I mean Cat Zingano stopped her in a UFC fight but she [ __ ] Cat she [ __ ] Cat up so bad that Cat was having hormone imbalances after the fight That's crazy. had brain damage after the fight and had to go and have this magnetic treatment on her brain that they do to soldiers after they get blown up. Wild [ __ ] man that's how hard she hits. The first round she had Cat in all sorts of trouble but Cat survived and went on to stop her. It was a wild fight I'll never forget it. Just crazy like I'll never forget the end of the fight Cat

82:27after like she stopped the fight after the referee stopped the fight she screamed like like I like I yeah like like but it was like like from her DNA it was like primal. Yeah. It was like one of the most bone chilling screams I've ever heard a woman fighter and Cat Zingano is fierce. She's always been fierce but to hear her scream like that was like whoa to this day I'll listen to that and go just imagine where she was in the brink of defeat taking all sorts of crazy punishment from the biggest striker in terms of like knockout power in bantamweight history. That's Amanda Nunes I mean she starches women. And this here play this Dude. That's crazy. That ain't that's not fake. That's from her DNA you know. Yeah. That was primal. Well it's like they're in they're in their own shooting probably remember that whole experience like you

83:29like would not even know what's going on. Probably not. It was a wild fight. Did you get into UFC the that kind of fighting was it around like where you could watch it? I know Royce Gracie I kind of remember hearing about that like it's when I was a kid I guess. I saw it the first one I saw was in 90 three or four. I saw it after the first event had aired and I'm I'm pretty sure I watched the second one I heard about it but I didn't see it live and then I saw the second one I'm 99% sure I got it from a video store like they had it for rent Yeah. at a video store. It was UFC 2 cuz I don't believe they had the rights to have UFC 1 back then. Uh I think you could only get UFC 2 on on video and I remember watching it and watching this uh fairly slim Brazilian guy just strangle all these people. Yeah. And I remember thinking holy [ __ ]

84:27I got to learn that. Yeah. And it was what everybody always wanted from martial arts. Everybody always wanted the really talented small guy to be able to beat the much bigger stronger guy but the reality of striking is that that doesn't really exist very often. Most of the time bigger stronger people [ __ ] up smaller better people. Like they couldn't that's why the the weight classes are so important. Yes. Because they can't they're just and cuz they're at such a high level Mhm. that they like if I hit you it's going to hurt way worse and Yeah. Yeah there's bone structure that's just an insurmountable obstacle. It doesn't mean that a smaller person that's super talented can't beat a bigger person that's stronger and faster but not as talented. It is possible even with strikers. But most of the time it's too dangerous.

85:22You'll never see a welterweight champion fight the heavyweight champion. Like you just won't see it even if you get like an elite like Terence Crawford super top of the food chain lighter weight champion he's not going to fight Deontay Wilder. Yeah. It's just too dangerous they're too big but in the UFC that's exactly what happened. He saw this 175 pound guy who is not like intimidating physically I mean he looks like an athlete but he's not like big and jacked and he was arm barring these guys that were 100 pounds more than him it was crazy. And to watch that it was like this was what everybody always wanted from martial arts they wanted technique and skill to overcome all of these advantages that someone would have in size and power. It was like I would ask so I've started to with Luis J Gomez and so Luis is a big reason too me Luis and Dave with MMA cuz

86:14they were such big fans of it. So like back in New York they would always talk about it and to that was a big part of it like kind of hearing about it be like what's going on? Uh but I I remember talking to Bisping with Luis once. I was always fascinated too with the confidence that they can walk around with. Like no one really know the confidence that like we asked Bisping you like you're just never scared of anybody. Like nobody's when you walk I'm not in the you don't want to not that he wants to fight anybody but you don't have if I walk around and there's a bigger guy near me you're just like that guy wanted to fight like hit me like he just can. yeah. And so Bisping and he was like you're just you just don't ever feel that he's like no I don't know and then he just walks around dude. And we're like I mean could you kill

86:58someone with it he's like yeah you know and we're like how long and I think he was like 10 seconds or something like that he was just like jeez dude like that's crazy dude. Like to and that's like what you love is to be like that's you know when you watch those guys you're like yeah. What's that like? What's it like to go to a mall and see a pack of 40 teenagers walk up to you and just be like I mean walk right through them but I will destroy all of you like it does doesn't matter. It's it's I don't know it's like that's I don't know if it's like a guy feeling that you want sure. Yeah. It's like a superpower. Like every guy wishes that he was that guy. Like that's why the Hulk was always such a popular comic book like you're picking on this little skinny guy if you make him mad then this [ __ ] gigantic guy comes out of his body and smashes

87:43everybody. I mean that was I saw one time I saw Tyron Woodley at Disney World. Uh we were there but I always thought about this but what I do love like his I think he was with his family and his like his daughter or something. His daughter was like I don't know just told him like no was like no. Like you know being a kid. Right. Just a kid like if she's five whatever she is I don't know four or five years old. And she just like kind of says no to him and I remember just thinking that guy can beat up every human in this park. Yeah. And it's but but what I love shows of him as a parent that is I always love that his his daughter who's the smallest of all of us at this park is the least scared of that guy and we are all deathly scared of like it shows like a family that you're a good parent like like she's just like She's a human and she looks at it like I

88:36don't care who you are that's my dad. And you want to walk over and be like could you if he gets upset though he's going to hit one of us and we're all going to we will all pay for it. He would never though that guy is the friendliest guy ever. He is he's very friendly. why you can shows of that he's a great parent is and I love it because I I don't know I just I always love that dynamic it's funny to be like the only person not scared of him Yeah. is this tiniest little girl that's like no. Tyron's doing something he's involved in the weed game now. He's been hanging around a lot with B-Real from Cypress Hill and he's he's always doing things with them. He was on Hotboxin with Mike Tyson and That's a real the weed game is a game. The weed game is like a real thing. My buddy Soder Dan Soder he he'd always talk about that cuz he's from Colorado.

89:17Mhm. And uh I mean like he just be like losers. I think he had a joke about it. He's like, "Losers are doing uh that in high school are like multi-millionaires now. They just waited it out." And now they have like a They have like a real company that's selling Yeah. Yeah, I've been offered to get into business, but I'm like, "Until it's federally legal, that's an attack vector. Like, if you really have some multi-million-dollar weed company, like is that legal How legal is this?" Yeah. Like, I know there's a lot of people making money, but there's a lot of situations where they can't even deposit. Like, they have to have cash. Like, they have cash-only businesses in some places, at least they did for a while. Where like they were hiring special forces guys to guard cash from these dispensaries in Colorado when Colora- Colorado was one of the first

90:02states that went open. Yeah. Um I think it was Colorado, Washington State, and a couple other ones that made it legal early on. And when they first did it, one of the big dilemmas was they couldn't get credit cards, couldn't get banks to go to use credit cards with them. So, no one could pay with anything other than cash. So, they had these places where, you know, they're doing insane amounts of business. They have weed tourism. It was in Denver, and they'd have lines around the block of people paying cash. And then someone would come out with a ski mask on and [ __ ] rob them. So And then there was also people that were leaving the bank with bags of cash and taking it to the bank. Excuse me, leaving the uh dispensary with bags of cash and taking it to the bank. And they knew that there was cash in these cars. So, they had to

90:49have like guys with like black sedans following them with armed guards, armed guards in the truck. It was a very complicated sort of a situation. Wow. Where they were very vulnerable. Because they cuz no one wanted anything to do with them. It wasn't that they didn't want anything to do with them. They wanted the money. Like, the banks took the money because it was legal in the state, but it's not federally legal. Right? So, if you have a like a company like Citibank or a company like, you know, American Express, they're not going to let you use credit cards to buy weed. Cuz that's And then what if they get in trouble? Cuz it's a we- it's a weird gray area because when things are federally schedule one, schedule one is the most illegal. And that's what marijuana is, which is ridiculous. Yeah. Because it's legal in How many states now, Jamie?

91:36A lot. 19 or some [ __ ] That's what I wanted to say, 19 or 21 or something. And it's legal medically. And I don't like I think it's legal in Texas medically. But I think you have to have like something really wrong. Like, you have to have like full-on like paralyzing epilepsy or something. It's It wasn't like in LA when they were they'd always uh I always just heard comics say, "I just could tell a doctor you're like, 'I have restless leg syndrome.' He's like, 'Yeah, whatever.'" anxiety. Here you go. Yeah. They said no to no one. Yeah. Yeah, my doctor the I had this great doctor that I went to and he had dreadlocks. And uh do you know what a um do you know what a volcano is? Uh I think I think so. It's a vaporizer. Yes. It's a weird one cuz the way a volcano works, it looks like a volcano. Like a Yeah. like a steel version of it,

92:26like an industrial volcano. And then on the top of that, you attach this this uh nozzle that attaches to a giant plastic bag. Like, this plastic bag. Most plastic bags that they would vaporize with would be, you know, like uh foot and a half, two feet high. This [ __ ] dude had a five-foot-long bag. I walked into this place. This is when weed was really shaky. It was real weird. It was like I'm talking like 1999, 2000. Like weed was going I was going to one dispensary that was in Inglewood. Inglewood is uh it's it could be sketchy. It's it could be a dangerous part of town. And the Inglewood Wellness Center was the place that I used to go to. But the guy that I used to go and buy weed from got shot. So, the same sort of situation, you had to pay with cash. I think you had to pay with cash back then. But either way, he

93:18gets robbed and shot. And I was like, "Fuck, I'm not going to that place anymore." So, I found this new one. And I walk in. Doctor's got dreadlocks. Five foot tall. Like, enormous bag of filled up with weed vapor. I mean, just like a cloud. And he looks at me and goes, "You look sick." He goes, "You need medicine." You need He throws it onto the scale. And we were just laughing. Yeah. Like, what is this? This is so crazy. So, we got high with this guy. And he takes me back to the grow room. And when you're super duper high and you walk into a grow room, one of the weird things is like I mean, maybe it's just me being high. But I felt like they were intelligent. Like, I'm in this room and there's all this artificial light. And there's all these vibrant, healthy pot plants. Cuz these guys had like a super sophisticated operation. It was a

94:08big-ass room. Like, as big as that opening area on the the front of this this studio. And you walk in there and there's like hundreds and hundreds of plants. And all these lights. And you walk in and and it's almost they're like, "Hello." Like, the plants are saying hi to you. They felt Granted, I'm out of my mind high. Like, this I I can't go back to this. You're in your car the whole time? Well, no. I We stayed there for hours. I There was no way I was driving. We We were there Oh, yeah. We were there for a long time. It was great. But it was like that then. Like And I By the way, I was not famous back then. Like, I was I was on a television show. Prob- guy probably didn't know. Yeah. He didn't give a [ __ ] They were just friendly. Like, that's the thing about super high people. Like, either they're real paranoid, they don't want to talk

94:55to anybody, or they're real friendly. And this guy This guy was real friendly. And everybody there was real friendly. They were all just really cool. And they're like showing me how the you know, the the the the water drips into the plants and keeps them healthy and how they have this sort of irrigation system set up. And it was like to see that back then. Yeah. You had to that cuz it felt so illegal Yeah. back then. Yeah. Super illegal. Yeah. But not cuz it was legal in the state. I did have a license. I did have a medical prescription. Cuz I get headaches. That's so crazy. Get headaches, bro. You get You know, yeah, I don't know what you're And also, I've I've had a bunch of surgeries. Yeah. help pain, you know. What What really helps me though is CBD, which which is non-psychoactive. Yeah, that's what always I hear about CBD. Oh, it's great if you have like

95:45arthritis or sore joints or [ __ ] like that, it's great for it. It's great for For some people, it really helps with anxiety. It helps them sleep and [ __ ] But But back then, it was there was no No one even knew what the [ __ ] CBD was. People were just getting high. You know? And for a lot of people, like it changed their life. People that were cancer patients that were going through chemotherapy that lost all their appetite, they would smoke weed, they would have their appetite back. And then they'd be able to eat. And they you know, they'd feel better. People slept better. You know? It's like doesn't work with everybody. Some people it's just not a good drug for. It just doesn't Yeah. Do you smoke weed? No. No. See, there you go. Yeah. It's not for everybody. Yeah, it's not for everybody. I love it. Uh yeah. And I get

96:26it. I mean, the the idea of it You know, I always think about that. Like, if you had like my daughter. Like, if would you Would I rather her drink or smoke weed? Like, you know, depend Like, cuz it's like alcohol is crazy. Alcohol I mean, it's it can lead to being violent, to being you know, these car wrecks, these I'm not that I'm sure weed has that stuff, too. But it's with By the time she's she's eight. So, by the time let's say she's 21, I mean, who knows? Weed might be way more acceptable versus I'm still from the era that you feel like it's bad. I think one of the problems with weed is that, first of all, no one who's growing up, no one whose mind is developing should be doing any hardcore [ __ ] They shouldn't be taking alcohol, they shouldn't be taking marijuana. They just shouldn't be. It's not a good for you. We give her both at

97:17to our daughter. We're trying to let her choose now. Well, kids are going to They're going to do it. Yeah. to do something. But neither one is good for you. Oh, yeah. 16, you're getting high every day, that's not good. No. It's not good. If you're 16, you're getting drunk every day, that's not good either. Yeah. Both Both those things are bad. But at least with alcohol, like a shot is a shot. Right? You go to a store, you buy a bottle whiskey, you take a shot of whiskey, it's what it is. With pot, you could have a cookie, you don't know what the [ __ ] it is. Yeah. Like, you have no idea. It could be 20 milligrams or it could be 250 milligrams. Joey Diaz sits around dosing people all the time. He gives them these stars of death that are 250 milligrams. And you see people losing their mind. Like, they think they're in another

98:06dimension. Yeah. They just have But you would feel trapped, right? Like, you just feel like I'm you know, I started having claustrophobia. And I'd imagine it feels like a lot of like that. Right. But for Joey, it's awesome. He doesn't give a [ __ ] He just He can eat three or four of those and just laugh his ass off. Yeah. It doesn't And he if he does get paranoid, like he gets over it. What if you overdosed on weed? You can't. You can't. It's not going to kill you. Yeah. No. I mean, unless you have like a very peculiar biology. Maybe I shouldn't say it's not going to kill you. But I have never heard of a single human being ever Yeah. dying from marijuana. Now, does that mean they haven't died from decisions they've made when they are high? You got to try to fly. I would jump off a building. I'm sure they have.

98:49You Would that make sense to you at the Yeah, if you get really high and you you drive off a cliff. I mean, I'm sure people have done [ __ ] when they're high. But people have done How many How many things have people done when they're on Ambien? Oh, yeah. Nobody's scrambling to make that illegal. Yeah, they give them to them on planes. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. And they're just walking around. Oh, people lose their marbles on that [ __ ] And they they sleepwalk and say things they don't even know they said. Yeah. Yeah, like uh Chris Pratt. he takes Ambien and he was telling me all the wacky [ __ ] that he'll text people when he's on Ambien and then and the next day they're like, "Hey man, what the [ __ ] are you What was last night about?" He's like, "Huh? What are you talking about?" And they'll

99:23show him and he's like, "Oh, dude, I was on Ambien. I don't know what the [ __ ] I said." Kevin James, he he cooked a meal. He went downstairs, I think he went to the supermarket, bought food, cooked a meal, and then woke up in the morning and wanted to call the police. Cuz he thought someone broke into his It'd be great if someone did do it and then he just and then he still thinks it's the Ambien. Some guy's like, "Dude, I almost got caught one time." Yeah, went to Kevin's house. He went to Kevin's house. Cooked a turkey. Turns out he used Ambien and just blamed it on that. Oh, it's it's not good, man, for some people. They have this Cuz it it doesn't really give you the same sleep, either. Like it puts you in this weird state where you don't like it just knocks you out. You know? I would take I I would always have trouble sleeping, but a lot of it

100:09for me is like food. Like I mean, I can like I'll eat Sour Patch Kids and drink soda at 11:00 at night and then I'm like I'll go to the doctor like, "Why can't I go to sleep at night?" Like I just I'm like, "I'm so much trouble." And you're like, "Yeah, dude, you're throwing nonsense into your body." Yeah, that's not good. Sugar at night's the worst. That's the worst. I'm I'm quitting drinking diet soda on the day my special on the 18th. Really? And I drink a lot of diet soda and I'm kind of convinced that I think it leads to me to bad decisions. So I'll eat candy I mean, dude, I eat it's bad, dude. I got like coming here I just went and had barbecue right when I got here. Where'd you go? Uh Cooper's. It was just like it was only one A lot of them were closed. Uh some of them were closed on uh Monday or something. Oh, really? And then yeah, a few were closed.

100:59They're you know, I I couldn't really figure it out like I looked at it just online. So the Cooper's is supposed to be I don't know. It says They all got good reviews. That Yeah, they all have like really good reviews. Like old-time Cooper's or something. So I went in there and ate and then it's like I just eat I make Dude, I don't know how to eat good. Like I don't I don't come from you know, growing up in the uh Nashville we ate just all chain stuff. Like that's all all that's all I know how to wrap my head around. Chain food? Yeah, yeah. Really? Oh, I love I met my wife at Applebee's. Like I don't know, dude, my whole life and all life goes to chain stuff. I mean, it was So when you go on the road, do you see chain stores and you go oh, chain restaurants you go oh, comfort. Every second of it, dude. I love it. I mean, I walk through every

101:39mall in America I have the greatest time of my life. I I love them all so much. What's number one? At a mall? Yeah, what's the number one chain? Oh, number one chain I go to? That you would Uh it would We started getting We started going to Outback, you know, it's like you come into a little more money, you go to Outback a little bit more. Uh I we I still love Applebee's. I love them every one of them. Uh Buffalo Wild Wings. I like uh you watch a lot of fights there, watch big games there. There you go. Uh yeah, I go to It's hard to [ __ ] up good wings. McDonald's. I'm a giant Really? I think we should show McDonald's more respect. It's the most successful restaurant in the the world. Respect on the name? Why don't you walk in? Yeah, wear a tuxedo when you go in. Don't be You go in there with pajamas like you're just some

102:23loser. Like we're lucky they even open They open the door to us. I'm a big fan of Filet-O-Fishes. I love them. If I'm coming home from a late-night comedy show and I'm hungry and I'm like, "Fuck it." I get two Filet-O-Fishes. Oh, it's the greatest. Cuz it's easy, you get them quick. What do you do on the road? Like what would you do on the road before now I know the road is so much different is like when you get in the theaters, you get in the arenas, you get stuff gets different, but like when you were doing comedy clubs would you just go eat somewhere? Like you just go find a real restaurant? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, or Waffle House. I'll do Waffle House. So but are you eating bad though or you're I don't eat bad every day, but I do eat bad. Yeah. But I but I don't do it every day. I try to limit the amount of times I eat bad, but I do eat bad. Yeah. See, I just think

103:10food should be two things. It should be nutrition and it should also be enjoyment. And you got to separate those things. You got to know when you're eating nonsense, but you're just enjoying it. Like, "Oh, is this so good." But you and then you feel like [ __ ] You got to You got to take your lumps cuz you you eat like an ice cream sundae and a cheeseburger with fries and it feels like you got hit with a tranquilizer dart. You're like, I ate a pecan brownie and chocolate ice cream last night. And I feel amazing though I do feel it as I'm 41 and you you uh it's like the second you turn 40, dude, you're like, "This is crazy." Like you're you've you feel that tiredness, it just affects you. My body's trained right now it's like not trained, but it's like I can handle some bad food way more than most people cuz I'm eating it so

103:58regularly. Right, right, right. I have a very like I get to I let myself get you get hungry where you don't know what to do and I'm starving. And so then my brain only goes to eating out. Right. Like you know, I don't have food. Like My wife will cook, but like it's not like I just have like something at home. Like I'll be like, "I'm You know, I just get to the point of where you're just too starving then you make no good decision." Late night is always the worst for me because I'll eat when I'm not even hungry. I'm just bored. Yeah. You know, like I'm writing or something or I'm watching TV, I'll just go grab some potato chips then next thing you know, half a bag in. And I'm like, "What have I done? I didn't even need I wasn't hungry. Yeah. I just was forcing salty things in my mouth and And then you just you get a few in there

104:43and you're like, "Oh, let's keep going. Let's keep going till we get sick." Yeah. It's the greatest thing ever, dude. Is diet is uh but is diet soda like diet It's not good. Yeah, it's not good, right? Well, they say it actually There I mean, I've read a bunch of [ __ ] on it. Like the first of all, aspartame is supposed to be not good for you. It's very sketchy, but apparently you have to drink a lot of it for it to be dangerous. When they do these uh studies with aspartame and rats, apparently they what they did with the They They dosed them up with some extraordinary amount. So when the people say it's correlated with cancer and all these different things like maybe. Maybe. But the problem with that is like what are the other things that are in your life that might be causing you cancer. Is it stress? What What What are

105:28the foods that you're living in with that? You wouldn't living in power lines. What that mean? Yeah. I drink diet Coke under a power line. You think that's going to be a problem? I think it's fine. Are you getting sleep? There's so many factors that lead someone to get sick. But when they do these rat studies, then they can go Well, they can control everything. But then humans aren't rats, so it's tricky. I don't know. I just don't think it's good for you. But I think it leads to bad. Well, you want I don't want to drink I don't eat pizza with water. Right. it's like there's stuff like that. I'm not going to go to the movies and get a popcorn and have water. Right. Like that's no fun. No, you want a diet Coke. And so like if I get rid of That's the way I look at it and I am into those things. It's not like I occasionally have popcorn. Like I have it more. I

106:15would always say like McDonald's could never throw I I'm never surprised when I go to McDonald's menu. I'm always pretty aware of what they're doing. Like when the you know, when the the rib sandwich McRib comes back like, "Yeah, dude, I've Someone's like, "Do you know the McRib's back?" I'm like, "Yeah, dude, I've I've already had a few of them." I remember the day it came back. You got the email. I get the I get updated. I know what's happening, dude. You're not I'm not blown away. What I used to love was when I would go to a movie theater and they had real butter for the popcorn. Yeah. Real butter and salt cuz that other that funky fake butter it's somehow or another better than no butter, but not as good as butter. Like what is that [ __ ] I don't ever squirt of fake stuff. I mean, it is it's it's made to just get stuff on your hands of under

107:03the seat. That's all that happens, dude. You got You're eating the popcorn and I mean, you just can't This hand's gone. What's that What is the oil? What is it? Dude, I just googled what it basically is. What is it? It's uh partially hydroid hydrogenated soybean oil. Oh, it's terrible for you. It's making you grow titties. That stuff is going to turn you into a woman. Oh, well, if you're a woman, it'll turn you into more of a woman, maybe. That's what I I always wanted to work out. I just want you to not be able to see my nipples through my shirt. That's all I've ever wanted. It's as simple as that. The The man boobs. boobs. Man boobs are depressing. That's a depressing thing for a guy to have man boobs and then some guys when they lose weight, then they still have the man boobs, they just have deflated man boobs. Then they have to get cut

107:48Yeah. cuz they have to like trim all your fat back or trim all your skin back to where it used to be stretched out because of fat. Who's that actor? What's his name? Ethan? He was on Your Mom's House. What's Yeah. Is that what you're saying? Oh, yeah. That guy lost lost a ton of weight. Like 200 lb. Some insane and he's jacked now. Yeah. Like he's really healthy. The other guy who's done that is Action Bronson. Action Bronson's lost a [ __ ] load of weight. Like look at that guy now. Crazy. Crazy. I mean, he's [ __ ] ripped, but you see how the like his extra skin around his stomach that was all just skin that That just never goes away. No, you have to have it operated on. Look at that picture there. The one Yeah, right there. Look at that. That's nuts. Look at his Look like [ __ ] Is it a different person? pro wrestler. He looks

108:37huge. He looks like Triple H. Yeah, exactly. He looks uh You would never recognize him if you saw him somewhere. I mean, he just wouldn't recognize himself. No. I can imagine that that's a completely different person. Yeah. Yeah. And well, comp completely different life. Yeah, but the way he feels like must be amazing to go through life as this like giant overweight guy like literally morbidly obese. Have you seen what happens to NFL linemen when they retire? Like this is Joe Thomas. He was a uh all pro his whole life and right when he quit playing he like sucked down weight instantly and looks great. normal looking. Well, he looks normal. I don't know about normal. Hold on, go back. Go back to that picture. Yeah, maybe he's not big and fat anymore, but that guy's jacked. Like what go show me that picture the second picture you showed is that him as well?

109:30Yeah, this is him playing. With the Yeah, still that's not a normal guy. That guy looks [ __ ] shredded. I mean he looks like a pro athlete. Okay. But he's but before it's like they he was like this is the way for the he was a center, right? Offensive lineman tackle. And then so for that position he's like well, I need to be this size. I wonder what he did. He just probably cleaned his diet up and started doing cardio and acting I think I read it right. Is that is that not? No, I don't know dude. I'm making that He looks great though. I love it when athletes retire and they don't get obese cuz when they do get obese it's kind of sad. usually so young. I mean they're in their 30s. I remember someone saying that always something always stuck with me. I don't live by it. But being like the I was like cuz I was like why don't

110:19more people eat healthy and and then he was and I remember him telling me he's like it's because they don't know how good it feels. And so like if you're eating like you're just used to kind of having that drag of McDonald's I just ate McDonald's on like you just have and anytime it starts to go away you go well, you're hungry again and you go put it back in. So your whole life is just kind of like a like kind of a slow down and you just get very used to that. That makes sense. And we have no idea. I say we I don't I mean cuz the days that I've I've you know, if I've ever been like I'm doing no carbs or something and you do it for 2 days. It's like you can feel like amazing. Like you go gosh, you just have energy you feel great. Or whatever you know, for the little bit just cuz it's a shock to my system that we're not eating just garbage Like I had

111:12I mean like my wife like she'll go like they went to Florida Universal like now. And so like she leaves like a 2 days for I leave and it's like I mean I already eat bad if she's around. But if she's not around it's like I mean I would have these like pre-made meals. She's like just eat one of those and I was like no thank you. Like if she's not there major problem dude. Yeah, no I I get it man. I get it. It's it's so appealing. You know, like you see a ring ding sitting there. You like oh, I could just have that I could have that mouth pleasure right now. I could just put that in my mouth right now. A chocolatey goodness and that creamy white filling. It would be it's the best thing ever dude. I mean it's the greatest. Once it hits your your tongue too your body like your body doesn't know what the [ __ ] a ring ding

112:03is. All that sugar in this weird semi digestible portion cuz it's not normal. Like normal's a orange. That's normal. An apple's normal. Your body eats apples like we know what this is. Like you don't get some crazy but if you eat like a a chocolate eclair or a crispy cream cream filled Do you go to Krispy Kreme? Come on son. A good bit. Dude, I I go so much that I've started wearing my mask on in the car cuz I'm afraid that they're going to go hey, what's up man? And and then they don't recognize me as a comedian just as a customer. Like I'm like it it's like Just as a regular dude and I'll just act like I you know, I I don't really tell my it's not like I talk about my wife I pay cash a lot so it can't be traced back to me. Like a ton of cash. How many do you get? Uh I do I'll do four. Woah. If I go three three to four they you know, like that's what I

113:04I got tired just hearing that. I felt the sugar crash just hearing you. I'll go golfing right after like I just eat that to go golf and I'll walk 18 holes. If you're moving around I bet that's not the bad the bad idea. saying I can do it. I take it everything is So you're saying I'm on a good diet Joe. Matt Fraser who was a five-time CrossFit champion when he was here the other day one of the things that he said is that even talking to like high-level nutritionists they would tell him after a brutal workout get sugar in your system. Drink a can of Coke. Eat a Snickers bar. And like sounds ridiculous, but your body when you really exert yourself bad it needs that sugar. I think the problem is when you eat that sugar and then you don't do anything. If you have a couple of donuts and you go golfing for a few hours maybe not the worst thing in the world.

113:51Yeah. You're out there walking. You're out No, I don't know about every I don't know about every day. I'm just trying to find a window. Uh Joe said I should be doing it. I'm on the donut diet. Apparently your body gets accustomed to donuts and then everything's good. Yeah, did you hear that? You didn't hear about it? I feel like I I find an article for anything that Listen, if you can find an article that says the world's flat you can find an article that says donuts are good for you. Those are the people I need to get behind. Like this. They need to get behind donuts. Yeah. [ __ ] all this flat earth [ __ ] That's nonsense. Let's do something good and get behind Krispy Kreme donuts. Someone needs to find a way to make like a keto donut that really tastes like a Krispy Kreme donut. Cuz most keto donuts are like

114:37okay. Pretty good. You know, I've had like keto cookies like not bad. But you're never like there's that orgasmic thing when you have like a really good like a Mrs. Fields cookie. You know, Mrs. Fields with those big ass chunks of chocolate in them and they're warm and they're a little bit mushy. So you bite into it and your body's like keep going. You just want to devour them. Could Krispy Kreme be the tastiest thing? thing I I'm a huge McDonald's I mean a a huge uh uh ice cream fan. I eat a lot of ice cream too. But I mean tastiest thing that you could eat. It's tough to [ __ ] with. Right? Cuz maybe it's not the tastiest But it it's it's a For a warm one or a warm Krispy Kreme? Oh, yeah. That that light. I just realized this is original glaze is what that light means. I thought it meant like I almost see what so dumb I am. I would just see the

115:38light and I would go and be like maybe it's chocolate donuts this time that are hot and it's never it's always glaze and I keep thinking one day I'm going to catch them and they're going to have to hot chocolate donuts. And then just the other day I read the sign and it says original glaze. I was like it's never hot chocolate donuts dude. It's always the original glaze. Because those original glaze the difference between them being hot and not being hot is monumental. Chappelle did a joke about it where he's like if they made it out of didn't he made it out of crack you would believe it. Oh, yeah? I think so. Like he's like that idea that you're like it's that good of a They melt. They melt. You bite into it and it just sort of disappears. Like cotton candy almost. Yeah. Just cuz there's that much sugar in it. It is like cotton candy. Like you bite

116:20into it and it's amazing. I've had cotton candy pretty recently. Really? How long an hour ago? Huh? On the way I got some under the table. You There's a What's your go-to thing though if you really want to just [ __ ] up a diet? I mean it's my regular life. I mean I don't I don't I don't know what you mean. Like my go-to? It's I there's I'm never not I'm always doing I started working out a lot and so I've noticed like I can tell like my legs which I always joke with my it's like it feels like it's all legs. That's all working out is every day is legs. It just never stops. You're like let's do something else. It's like no, it's just legs. But I and I can tell that like I could see my body getting a little different and then it's not changing that much and I'm like what has to be you know, cuz I'm working out and like going to then

117:11I'll go eat McDonald's and then I'll go do something else. And so I'm never putting in I don't think I eat enough. I don't you know, I don't have enough calories. I'll eat like one meal a day sometimes cuz people that tend to eat bad can go a long time without eating. Like you can see some really big people. It's not like they're just eating 24 hours a day. They eat at 8:00 like they haven't eaten in 2 weeks. But then that's it. Right right right. And so they're not so they're that's what they get you know, they wake up and it's hard for them to wrap their head around going like well, I'm not hungry. Like intermittent fasting is not that hard for a lot because you could be like I don't know. I'm whatever. But during that window is going to be a problem dude. Like I'm it's going to eat like everything. And that's when everybody cuz I was thinking when they

117:56somebody explains something to be healthy they always tell you to like they always like well, be careful about fruit and you're like well, let's let fruit be the let's wait till we that becomes the problem. Like that's I'm not where I'm at because someone's like how much pineapple do you have last night? You're like okay, I got after it. Like I had four apples and I couldn't put it down. You're like just let me eat food but we will hear advice from the most in shape person. And so they're like well, you got to kind of be careful like yeah, that guy does. that guy's trying to get shredded for a bodybuilding competition or something. they're like let's just not go to McDonald's every day. Let's just start you know, it's like starting attainable goals. What are you doing when you say you're working out recently? What are you doing? Uh I do it this guy started

118:40working out with comes our neighbor this Klook Fitness in Nashville and they come to they go to your house. They started doing that with COVID so they come to your driveway. So I've a lot of my friends in the my cul-de-sac we would kind of go in on it together and he comes over. Yeah, and he does he's like he competes in a lot of our trainer Matt competes in a lot of like the you know, the whatever's the we're lifting heavy the big strong man competitions. I was man I was I was I thought every word but strong. I was like, you know, the every man competition. heavy the heavy man Yeah, big muscle competition. a big dude. lift stuff heavy stuff And so we do the you know, he'll we it's all uh legs are every day. But you're you know, doing a lot of stuff but he brings like they have a they travel around in a van, dude. They set up. I do squats, I

119:29do bench press. He's all the weights. You do everything and they do it in your driveway. And so your neighbors come over and you all hang out together? all hang out together and we do it. Uh How many times do you COVID test anybody ever when you guys do that? Outside? Outside. But we're in my cul-de-sac so no one's gone. So we all know where everybody's at. just hanging out there. And that's why they kind of started doing it because of this My the our trainer actually got COVID at one point and told us like, hey, I got COVID and I neither one of us got it cuz we're never we're we're outside. We're not on each other. You're like that was the whole reason of doing it. Well, especially when you doing it outside during the day, there's real evidence that it you it it dies instantly in sunlight. So and then also under UV light. Yeah. Yeah, this is not

120:12it's not a fear during the day. That's one of the things that was most infuriating about LA where they were trying to shut down beaches. And people like, why what the [ __ ] are you doing? Like why you shutting down beaches? There's no evidence that it spreads this way. And there was early evidence that it died in sunlight. Yeah. Yeah, I mean they yeah, I don't know. They think everybody's A lot of people think everybody's dumb. We got Everybody thinks well, I'm not I'm not dumb but you're a dumb. And I think people like kind of operate on that mindset to go, I'm not doing it for us obviously but it's you don't understand the the idiots that we got running around this country that don't know how to hand cuz that's why those guys would get caught being out. Like all those governors would get caught doing something cuz they go, well, I know how

120:55not to get it. But these buffoons that live behind me don't know. And so we got to shut the beach down because they would start licking each other and stuff like that cuz that's what they do down there. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, it's weird. You know, that's what that's the argument for censoring conspiracy videos on YouTube. The argument is that like if you read something or you watch a video and it's clearly nonsense about like dinosaurs being fake, you're not going to get you're not going to go, oh my god, I can't believe I've been lied to all this time about dinosaurs. You're going to go, what is this crazy? It's like do you Were you around when Art Bell was on the air? Uh was it the the AM station? Yes. Yes. I remember getting picked up by a driver once and he had that on. Art Bell used to have a time traveler line. Yeah. Okay, where you could call

121:49in if you were a time traveler. Like nobody [ __ ] really believed the guy was a time traveler but it was fun. It was fun. I mean, I'm sure there's a bunch of schizophrenics that listened that thought it was true. Yeah. But what are we going to do? We're going to nerf the world? Are you going to you going to censor all these fake time travelers? around. those people. Because those make you believe those make you understand your the the right more cuz you go, yeah, that's the crazy. And then you go, yeah, that doesn't make sense. Like the yeah, you do want those people around. Those are yeah, I like I like someone to eat like the dinosaur's not real. I just picture someone emailing YouTube, dear YouTube. Well, that was the I was lied to about apparently dinosaurs are real and I feel betrayed by this video that had 100 views.

122:41A lot of those videos have millions of They have millions. But like that was the argument for getting QAnon videos off the internet. It was that people were buying into it. They really believed it. But if you watch any of those videos, you're like, wait a minute, Trump is still the president? He's still the president and Biden's about to go to jail and they're they're about to drop the hammer down and the the military is going to swoop in and take over like, oh, what? What? Like a crazy yeah, something insane. Yeah, it's like they're playing multi-level chess. They always have a I do like I feel like they always have like a reason to like, all right, well, it can't happen today. It's raining outside so obviously. Like there's always some reason that it doesn't happen. Like you're just like it's could happen and then There's a great thread

123:23that I found that somebody sent me to where these guys after Trump lost and then after the whole Capitol Hill insurrection and all that crazy [ __ ] happened, this guy was on one of those forums realizing that he's been a a [ __ ] and that he's been had. He's like, I can't believe I've wasted all this time believing this [ __ ] And people were also chiming in like, yeah, I'm kind of [ __ ] disappointed in myself, too. All these dudes were just chiming in. Yeah. At the most ridiculous theories that there was some that it was all really some sort of you know, child trafficking Yeah. regime that they were trying to bring down and that's why you know, Trump was pretending to lose and then they were going to swoop in and arrest all these child traffickers. that were that got really deep into it.

124:14I was trying to get them just to Alex Jones. I was like, let's just I would I was like I told a lot of people. I was like, I go, this is too crazy. I was like, let's just do Alex. Do not go below Alex. Stop at it like is there there's so far down. What were they Who did Who were these people that you knew? You just knew some friends like you know, guys that didn't want to believe that stuff and they wanted to to be true and they want it you know. That's what's weird And so it's you know, you got to be it's a mix of you know, I don't know. People but they there's both sides can believe a lot of crazy stuff they could get tricked into uh you know, everything that goes on. No doubt. Yeah, it's not exclusive to one party or the other. People can believe some wacky [ __ ] If you want to believe it, it's very pretty easy to

124:59believe it, to wrap your head around it. 100% Yeah, it's I I thought you could my dad told me when I was a kid that I can't sleep with my socks on because my feet can't breathe. I I still I believe that my whole life, dude. And I don't wear socks to bed. Like that's how little of a thing can get in your head that I just was like, well, they can't breathe. Did you ever talk to him about it later? Hey, man. Uh yeah, hey. I asked him again, are you saying you're still saying my socks my feet can't breathe and my dad goes, yeah. And he stuck with it so I go, all right. All right. Like you know. It'd be funny if he's like, I never [ __ ] said that. I don't he would never remember saying it. I don't know why he said it. He might have said it because I'm a kid that's trying like that day he's like, I don't want to go to bed and I'm going to leave

125:41my socks on and he makes something up, you know. I actually read something that said that if you have socks on when you sleep, you sleep better. You sleep better if your feet are warmer. I've been That's why I'm That's why I'm having trouble sleeping. Not the chiropractic kids, it's I mean, what's wrong with socks? Why is everybody scared of socks? I'm a big socks fan. I love I wear a lot of uh I like them. I like Uggs. I don't walk around barefoot at home. Like I love shoes. Do you wear Uggs with Do you wear socks in those Uggs? love things that don't you don't if you don't have to put socks on. If you wear Uggs with no socks, how long before they stink? Pretty great. You might get beat up before that but it's the guys that attack you I don't know what the time frame is. Stinky feet patrol Just No, they'd be the loser patrol that

126:30you're wearing Uggs. Those cuz it's like those that's the I think that's the point of it. Dude, we had this guy on Kill Tony the other night. It was [ __ ] hilarious. There was this kid this young kid who's a comedian and he was talking about how he's really into feet. And he he had some girl come on stage and she took her shoe off. She turned out to be a comedian, too. She took her shoe off, let him smell her feet and he was like sniffing it and getting real excited about it and they were both getting turned on by it. It was just so Oh, she liked it. Oh, she At least she said she liked it. You know, maybe she was joking around with it. Yeah. But there's dudes that are into stinky feet. They like it. He was saying it helped him bust That's what he said. He's like, the quickest way for me to bust if I smell some stinky feet.

127:18And we were like, what? Yeah. But he was like so casual about it talking in front of this large group of people that's going on the internet to a larger group of people talking about how he's really I feel like you hear all people are willing to say more stuff Yeah. now than they ever were. You know, especially now with the internet, everybody kind of has a voice. Anybody can you become famous at any point. Right. What do you think that is? I don't know but like it's crazy I always kind of think it's crazy. I always think with celebrities. Like think about all the celebrities before. You didn't know what they they felt like make-believe people. Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise. Like I you don't know what those guys are about. You would never see them outside of a movie. And now you're seeing like Tom Hanks making a video and you're like, that's just a

128:11guy. Like Tom Hanks, you know, watched us I remember something he watched Storage Hunters that show and you're like it just kind of He was watching it like talking while he was watching it. about it. Like is that yeah, one I just heard him talk about it a long time ago and like just in the interview or something. And he just said he liked that show or Storage Wars or something one of those you know, a show like that. But it was just like you don't know you're like, I don't feel like I never would have known that. Like these people become like the idea of like Tom Cruise. I've always liked the the idea. I don't know if he knows what like how much money he is. That guy's been famous for 30 years. At least. At least. At least. Right, 30 years ago He was famous in 80 85 Yeah. Born on the 4th of July or before that. That has He's definitely famous for that

129:02cuz he was starring in that. Outsiders. What year was the Outsiders? Let's guess. Oh. 83? 84? Some reason 84 is popping in my head. 84 is a good number. Outsiders. He was 18 and a bit part in 1981. Uh he was in Taps in '83. Oh, that's right with Timothy Hutton. '83 was Outsiders? Wow. And that's when you did when you did a movie, it was huge. [ __ ] yeah. Yeah, there's movies now you're like, I've never heard of that movie. Then All the Right Moves and Risky Business all in the same year. Oh, wow. Risky Business. Yeah, that was the big one. That made Ray-Bans famous. Right? Yeah. He wore Ray-Bans and slid around with socks on? Yeah. Socks. And then So that guy wouldn't So that was when I was I was a [ __ ] That was 15. So he got famous when I was 15. And now he's still famous as [ __ ] now and still doing action movies.

130:04Action movies. He broke his ankle jumping from one building to another. I've seen this movie. Oh, it's terrible. Legend? Yeah, it's really interesting. Oh, it's Ridley Scott, too. Yeah, it's like a demon guy. I mean, it's not terrible terrible. It's just not good. Look how pretty he is. God, he was so handsome. Yeah, there was some demon. I forget what it was about. That's '85? Yeah, that's the year I graduated high school. The Lord of Darkness. Oh, that's him. That's the Lord That's crazy. So here he is back then, grown ass man back then. Now today, all these years later doing Mission Impossible jumping from one building to another and breaking his [ __ ] ankle. Did you see that video? I didn't see the video of him breaking it. I just went through all the Mission Impossibles. All of them in one think uh Well, just over Over COVID?

130:47Over I mean, in like a week. No, I don't I would watch it every I started doing that at night. Is just to kind of pick like these old kind of shoot 'em up mindless kind of fun action movies. And so I went through every Mission Impossible. I don't follow the stories as like, you know, I saw with this team. I saw the weirdest movie yesterday. It's uh an Ethan Hawke movie about time travel. Hold on, sorry, I'm going to save the picture cuz it was so strange. I was like, what the [ __ ] is this? But really original. Predestination? That's it. Really original movie. Like the end of it I was like, whoa. Like I don't want to give anything away, just the fact that it's a time travel movie, but it's a mind [ __ ] in a half. And not like any movie I've ever seen before. Like as the movie's going on, you're like, where is

131:36this going? I did a joke about time travel. I I wrote as a show. It didn't go anywhere, but it was like the idea This idea is like, I don't think if I if I went back in time, I don't think I could prove I'm from the future. I don't think there's anything I could tell them that's not that they would be like, "Oh, this guy Cuz you don't know enough. Yeah, they're like, "Who's the Who's the president now?" The I don't know. You know, You go back to like 1905, they're like, "Well, who's going to be the next president?" I don't know, dude. 1905? be like, "Name some people." Let me Let me Google it right Oh, [ __ ] All that's gone. don't even have 5G. What else could I Yeah. I would be have to hear some names. And you know, there's always like a window in presidents where you're like a few of them that you're like you don't

132:16ever talk about like you don't really know who they are. They're not they were never famous. If I went back in that time, I'd be like, "I've never heard of that guy." Like how far back could you go and name presidents and come starting right now? I mean, JFK Trump, we go to Trump. Okay, yeah. Obama Clinton No, Bush Bush, Clinton, Bush Reagan? Reagan Jimmy Carter Gerald Ford Ford, yeah, Nixon Nixon Uh Lyndon Johnson Kennedy Eisenhower? I'm probably done at Kennedy. Who's Who's before Kennedy? Who I think it's Eisenhower because I think that was this the famous speech about the military industrial complex. The telling people to beware of the military industrial complex. Eisenhower, right? Okay, before Eisenhower Truman? Yes. Is this like the '40s now, '50s? '50s. We're in the '50s. Yeah. Truman '45 to '53 was Truman, so pre-'45. I'm I'm [ __ ] from then.

133:25A pretty famous one. Abraham Lincoln. That's what I would go next like 19 Eisenhower? No. No, where you said that? Other way. Um FDR FDR, Franklin Delano Roosevelt And then it gets squirrely. Teddy Roosevelt is in the 1800s, right? 1901. Who do How What was his relationship to Franklin Delano Father? Uncle? Father, hold on. I am your father. I forgot about Andrew Jackson, which is named after Andrew Jackson. Oh. When was he? You know, we have his own home and where I live and I've never been to it cuz I switched schools when the elementary schools would go to that Fifth cousin to go to it. Fifth cousin? Oh. And I switched schools, so I just have never been to his own And I mean, I live 5 minutes from it. I remember when I lived in Boston, there was a place we could go that I think was Paul Revere's house. I think I've been to that. And I'm always like, I wish

134:23you know, he's famous. Should have a bigger house. Yeah. This guy was pretty rough time during this time. Wasn't balling at all. Yeah, no, nothing. You know. They don't go show you his house afterwards. He goes, "Well, then I moved into a gated community." There it is. Like you see Gwyneth Paltrow's house, it's [ __ ] giant. Look at Paul Revere's house. You would be disappointed if you got that house. I would be so sad if I went over like Mel Gibson's house and that was his house. I'd be like, "This is it, Mel?" And Mel Gibson is the Paul Revere of our time. And I think now it's like a museum, right? You can go visit it. Yeah, I think I've been to it. Uh when uh Boston Yeah, there it is. Apparently all that whole the British are coming, the British are coming, not really true. Yeah. Yeah, apparently there was another guy.

135:08There was another guy that was warning everybody. And then uh Paul Revere was like, "Oh, yeah, I told everybody." Isn't that like the Tesla guy? Like the or that the There was was two founders of Tesla before Elon Musk. no, no, not that the or who it's named after the Nikola Tesla Yes. Didn't he do Isn't something like Vinnie uh light or something? Like wasn't he What did he do, dude? Pretty much, that was it. He invented light. Yeah. Yeah, before him we were living in dark matter. But is there Is it dark matter? Isn't there some beef between him and someone else about Edison Edison Yes. Well, he invented AC/DC or alternate alternating current, not the band. He wasn't involved. Oh, at all? No. No, uh Angus Young didn't even know him. I'd like to see your sources on that. He uh invented alternating current. And Thomas Edison initially was like super skeptical or

136:01was a propagandist, I should say, against alternating current. And one of the things that he did was he electrocuted an elephant to show everybody. See if you can find that. Is that it? Elon just tweeted this. They did invent it, dude. Yeah, not today, but like the other day. Oh, wow. Yeah. Um him and Edison See, the thing was Edison was not a stupid man. He was a brilliant man. But Nikola Nikola Tesla was an alien. You mean, he he was responsible for so many [ __ ] inventions. Like so many He wanted to transmit electricity through the air. And Westinghouse was like, "What? What are you talking about?" Like that was his idea like to use these towers and transmit electricity. Yeah, there's a movie made a couple years ago called The Current War. It's a very loosely based off of the truth type of movie, but it's the idea of what was

136:50going on between them fighting back and forth. Actually, Tesla worked for Thomas Edison for a little while. Well, Tesla, like a lot of brilliant men, was not like great at business. He was just great at inventing things. And when he died, they raided his house and and got all his papers and all his [ __ ] and you know, and who knows how much intellectual property they took. Cuz the guy had ideas that never came to fruition that were just genius. I mean, he was he was a weird guy, though. Like he was in love with a pigeon. Like he had a love affair with a pigeon that he wrote about. Like he was in love with a pigeon. Yeah, that's Like it's I just think I think you can get too smart. And then when you're out there, you're so far out there that you're just whatever Yeah, you're in your own world. And like you just get you're just kind of gone,

137:38dude. You're gone. Yeah, you're too gone. Too gone. You can get too gone. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think you only have so much room in your brain. And even a super powerful brain, like a person that's extraordinarily intelligent, there's so only so much room. I really doubt you're going to have like the smartest person ever who's also really good at telling jokes. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't go You can also go on stage high and talk [ __ ] and say a lot of really funny things. You know? Yeah. It's just not usually the case. Like if you hung out with Albert Einstein, you'd have like, "How was it?" You're like, "Pretty good, actually." Like it's going to be like, "No, he's the worst. He's the worst." Like cuz it's like he doesn't know how to interact or something. Like they're But if he had notes and he was going to

138:23go up on a show and then Joey Diaz was on after him, you'd watch Joey Diaz. You wouldn't watch Einstein. Yeah. But these guys, they're operating in this realm, you know, you think about like we're talking about LeBron James or Michael Jordan, like Khabib Nurmagomedov, super athletes, just the rarest of the rare humans. Well, there's people like that with brains. Just the rarest of the rare minds who can figure things out that most human beings are that you would give them a thousand lifetimes with that same brain. They have no shot at ever figuring out any of that [ __ ] I don't care how much education they have. Don't lie. Like people will lie, well everyone with the proper education can achieve amazing heights in life. different. Yeah, you're born different. Some people have big brains, some people have little brains, some people have

139:09minds that work really well, and some people are born deaf, and some people are born with weak hands. You know, like everybody's weird. Is that weak hands a real? Just they can't grab things good. They're born with that? They have tiny hands. They're but they're Yeah, if you're born with small small hands. he's just glass falls over. Can't pick things up. You know, like If you If you talk to someone with weak hands and you come over here then all the cups are laying sideways. It's just Can you help me? He's like I'm sorry I have no They have to use their elbows. The servers are just a nightmare when he walks in. They're like, "Oh god, like he's not Yeah, give him plastic spoon. He can't hold a He can't hold a metal one. He's got weak hands." It's just human beings vary so much. I mean, it's one It's one of the things that makes sense makes us interesting,

139:53but when you get to a guy like a Nikola Tesla or even an Elon Musk, they're almost they're almost so smart that there's they're going to be eccentric. There's no way they're going to be normal like a normal person and that smart. They have to be eccentric. The greatness idea is so do you There's a thing on Netflix called Drug Lords and it's like I like like cartel like cartel stuff is kind of crazy to me. It's It's crazy that it's happening now, you know, it's like 2021 and you just feel and it still can be like the '80s and you feel like when you read stories. Like El Chapo is in prison. He's in Denver. The prison he's There's they have a lot of Yeah, they have a lot of people in that prison, too. Uh But they uh So this there's a girl in Drug Lords and she grew up in the I think Compton or something. I mean, unbelievable athlete like growing up,

140:45right? Goes in high school like could have could have compete in the Olympics. And it doesn't go that path and then becomes a drug lord and then becomes like a queen drug lord that like ran Woah. and all this crazy stuff. And it makes me think like that's a person that you're like, yeah, she's going to be really good at whatever she does. She could have been in the Olympics. She could have went down the road that she went down. I think she actually gives speeches down talks and like about how not to go down this road. But she became dominant in selling drugs and it was like just like this is a super successful person. Wow. Their energy will go. Wherever it goes, they're going to be great at it. Like that's what they have. Good or bad. Yeah, it is It is crazy when you pay attention to what's going on in Mexico that it's like you could drive there.

141:30Oh, it's wild, dude. Like they're Texas. It's not that far of a drive. hearing uh a long time ago. Look at that. Mexico set to legalize marijuana, becoming the world's largest market. Woah. They're probably doing that just to battle the cartels. Oh, yeah. But the cartels are growing weed to send to America anyway. Maybe the cartels want it to be legal there so it takes heat off of them growing it there and then just a matter of getting it over to America. rich those guys were those cartels like Pablo Escobar and Chapo. I mean, they're billions of billions of dollars. It's unbelievable. We have this guy we've had him on several times. His name His His name is Ed Calderon and he's him on Instagram because of Yeah. Ed Calderon Ed Manifesto and he always sends me [ __ ] about what's going on in Mexico and to this day it's wild.

142:15There's like insurrections in towns. They're taking over towns. They have these these wars between rival cartels. They're going back and forth and it's [ __ ] wild, man, and it's right there. How many cartels are there now? I don't know. I've no idea. Yeah. But it's um you know, it's crazy because the amount of power and influence they have. You know what happened with El Chapo's son? They arrested him and then the [ __ ] cartel surrounded the town and made him release him. the video. Yeah, they just like let him go. They're like, "Okay." Dude, that was in your like you're like, "Where is this video from the '80s?" You're like, "No, it's two two days ago." Last week. And you're like, "What?" Dude, like that Yeah, cuz they all surrounded Yeah, that's they they have more power than all the government can't do nothing. No, there's so much

142:57corruption. Can it ever end or like does it ever like it's like It did in Colombia. That's what's interesting. Like Colombia where Escobar was. Now Colombia is fairly safe. It's uh it they've cleaned up Colombia quite a bit. I don't know how they did it. I don't know what they did. I don't know what the success formula is and whether or not that formula in Colombia is applicable to Mexico cuz the thing about Colombia is it's not quite as close to America as Mexico is. The thing about Mexico and America, there's a guy named John Norris and he wrote a book called the The Hidden War and he was a um He He was working as a game warden and uh for California and as he was working for a game warden, you know, he's a guy who likes outdoor activities like hunting and fishing and stuff and he thought that's what he would do. Like, you know,

143:44hey, we have three trout, you're only supposed to have two, that kind of [ __ ] Turns out one of the like as he was on the job, they started finding and this is at the beginning of it, these illegal grow operations in California in the national forests. So they'd find like trout rivers and trout streams that the water was all missing cuz it had been diverted to these illegal grow ops that were in the middle of the woods on public land. And what they would do is because when they made marijuana legal in California, they made it legal in the was they said that if you have it and you would perform and they'd have all these different kind of like variety acts and the comic would be the guy who would tell jokes in between these performances. Yeah. It's [ __ ] and then he goes on to start doing these performances where he becomes this like

147:17social commentator and pointing out things. Instead of just jokes, he's pointing out stuff about life. Yeah, no one's doing it Nobody was doing it. doing it at that time, which is crazy. He's the door opener, really. Lenny Bruce They were going to Catskills at the time, but they weren't doing like Those guys were doing jokes. They were like, you know, two Jews walk into a bar. They had jokes, you know, and he became the first guy and then there was Mort Sahl and then of course George Carlin and and then Richard Pryor took it to a whole new level. He was the He was the guy that really revolutionized it and made it the most funny. Because if you go back and watch Lenny Bruce, as brilliant and as important as that guy is in stand-up, his comedy is from a different era. Like the humans thought about things differently then. They were

148:06so closed off to ideas and like any little risque thing would be so funny. Did you ever see Marvelous Mrs. Maisel? No, I haven't watched it yet. It's good. Yeah. It's real good, especially the first season and then the into the second season. I think the third season it gets a little I got it got a little tired for me, but maybe it was just me. Maybe I was bored with it, but Lenny Bruce is in it. And they have this guy who keeps getting arrested for and they have him say the things that Lenny Bruce was saying when he got arrested and it's crazy. Yeah. Like it's a normal set that anybody would have at the Improv. Like a totally normal set. Improv clean now. Like Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wouldn't even be that risque and they would they would arrest the [ __ ] out of him. But he had um he had some bits that hold up. Like he had one back when um

148:54homosexuality was illegal. And he goes, "Dig, it's illegal to be a homosexual, but what happens if they catch you? They put you in jail with a bunch of men who want to have sex with you." Which is It's a good joke. Still solid solid joke. But if you try to listen like uh Lenny Bruce live at Carnegie Hall or some of his uh his performances that have been recorded, I've listened to them. They're hard to get through. Yeah. Like you you you kind of have to look at them in as like a historical piece instead of trying to uh listen to it in the context of 2021 with the internet and people can talk about anything. Like comedy is in a different place now. Much different. Did you ever meet Bill Hicks? Did you What? I was in his presence. Yeah. Wouldn't say I met him. You know, I never sat down and talked to them to him, but I was at Nick's Comedy Stop in Boston and the

149:46Comedy Connection in Boston when he was performing. When he was um right off of the Rodney Dangerfield special. And he was coming in to headline. I saw him bomb. Oh, yeah. I saw him clear the room. But me and Greg Fitzsimmons and a couple of the comedians were in the back [ __ ] howling laughing. And maybe a small percentage of the audience remained, but he cleared the [ __ ] room. And he was doing this one bit. In the middle of the bit he looked up and he goes, "Yeah, this generally clears the room." Like people were getting up in [ __ ] droves. Wow. It didn't seem to bother him. It was weird. Like it didn't Well, even if you could see that probably helped you you know to be like, "Well, he doesn't care." He had shocking confidence. Yeah. Shocking composure and confidence in it. He changed the way uh people thought

150:32about doing stand-up cuz they thought stand-up wasn't just what's the funniest [ __ ] you can do. It was also like really interesting ideas that would change the way people perceive things. That's what he was doing. You know, like that bit he had young man on drugs. You know, it's it's always the same story. Young man on drug Young man on acid thinks he can fly, jumps off of a building. What a loss. And he goes, "What a dick." Cuz he thought he could fly. Why didn't he take off from the ground first?" He had this whole bit about, you know, young man on acid realizes that life is merely energy condensed to a slow rhythmic vibration and we are all the imagination of ourselves. Now, here's Ted with the weather. Like Like it was great stuff. That it was different than regular stand-up. He introduced psychedelic concepts. He

151:18introduced like a lot of Noam Chomsky's work about like the real history of interventionist foreign policy and why we are in these foreign countries and he did it through jokes. Like he would make joke like joke about Iraq. Like Iraq has dangerous weapons, terrifying weapons. Well, how do you know? Well, we checked the receipts. Yeah. Cuz he had this whole bit about the original Desert Storm war that was one of the more interesting bits ever about war because it was like flavored by his understanding of how these things get started in the first place, which you really never saw. That's crazy. Yeah, he was a different guy, man. I got to see him I saw him alive I think three times, maybe four. Maybe four times cuz maybe like I saw him two nights in a row a couple times. Did I I I always think Boston. Probably Massachusetts. I always think

152:11that's the number one place that produces comedians. And I there's even comics that like that I You're there. Greg Fitzsimmons. Yep. Sam Morril. Morril. Louis. Louis. Burr. Patrice. Yep. Uh Bobby Kelly. Yep. My buddy Joe List. Yep. Boston. Uh I'm I know I'm missing, but Jay Leno. Yeah, Jay Leno. Mhm. And then the guys who are the Boston guys like Lenny Clark, Steve Sweeney, Steven Wright. Yeah. It was a great place. Tony V. It was a place where they had an unbelievable amount of work. Where there was a lot of comics, but there was so much work. Like there was one area called Warrenton Street and that's where Nick's Comedy Stop is. Yeah. Where you would go Nick's Comedy Stop was on one one street. You would go a little bit down the block and you had the Comedy Connection. You go upstairs from that you had the Comedy Club at the

153:04Charles Playhouse. Across the street you had Duck Soup. And then down here you had Dick Doherty's Comedy Vault. So you had one, two, three, four, five places that within a five-minute walk. Yeah. Was crazy. It's crazy. Well, that's how New York was when I when I first moved there is like seeing the you know, the Village had Boston Comedy Club, the Cellar. We had the Village Lantern was like around the other corner. And then they then they built some other clubs there, but then you you'd have New York New York Comedy Club, the Stand Stand Up, the Stand now, uh Comic Strip. Dangerfield's, which I think closed. Dangerfield's I did I hear hear it closed. I was so sad. I used to do a lot of shows there, man. The cuz Dangerfield's would give you more time. You got paid a little bit more and you got food. They would give you free food. So I I eat there they had

153:54great cheeseburgers. Their cheeseburgers were [ __ ] delicious. Yeah. You get to do 20 minutes, which is a big Yeah, it's a big deal. Yeah. I was at Dangerfield's once and I had I think I had like a 9:00 spot or something like that and I got there like 8:45 and uh the comics were all sitting at the bar. The show was supposed supposed to start at 8:00. And everyone was sitting at the bar. I'm like, "What's going on?" They're like, "We don't have a crowd yet." I go, "There's no crowd?" Like, "No, there's no crowd." And then there was this guy Bobby who used to work the door. He was this [ __ ] tank of a man. He was like a powerlifter who would make his own weights. He would fill like uh buckets with cement and he would like put put put handles on them and lift weights. He was like a [ __ ] gorilla. The guy is Scottish.

154:34he was always always make fun of your act, too. Uh you tricked him with that bag of shite act. You got it. And so uh these people walk in this couple walks in while I'm sitting at the bar with these guys. I'm like, "No crowd. There's no crowd at all." These two people walk in. "Welcome to Dangerfield's. Come on in, have a seat." They have a seat and then immediately the light comes on by themselves. These two people sitting in the audience. And then then the MC goes out and then the first guy goes out and the second guy go out and then and then I went out. And these people sat through the whole show. Two people. They never I mean, maybe another person showed up, maybe two other people showed up. I don't remember. But I remember being like stunned. Like these people were being held hostage. They can't even leave. not to do better. I did a show for one guy.

155:16Like and I asked him to leave on stage. I go, "Let's just we don't need to do this." And he was like, "No, it's fine." Like and I'm like, "It's not." You know, and he was but like you would do that in New York. I think that's what helped you in New York was A the amount of sets you're doing. It's like dog years. You know, you're going up if you know, I mean the you once you got into clubs you'd be going up like 15 times a weekend. Like a ton. Yeah. And uh but you would you get you would get people in. Hey, we got a great comedy show. We got a great comedy show. Come in. Bye. And then once they sit down if you felt they were about to leave it's like someone's got to go up to hold them. So you got to go up and that person's got to be like, "Hey." And they do a show and you're trying to just get more people in. It's a trick. You're

155:55doing comedy in front of people that don't want to be there. Like at all. Most every room you go in that people don't want they don't know that they don't know yet they don't want to be there, but they're you're just watching them about to figure it out. And so you're trying to get as many jokes as you can in before they go, "Yeah, this is weird, dude. Like why am I here?" Tiny little crowds are weird, but they teach you what's [ __ ] in your act. Mhm. Yeah. When you start doing jokes for tiny little crowds like you realize like how much of your act is filled with nonsense. You know? Yeah. Like how much of it is like kind of filler or how much of the the bit is unnecessary cuz those unnecessary parts stand out like a sore thumb when there's only 20 people in the audience. Whereas if there's 200 people you can kind of pull it off. Yeah. You

156:40can kind of get away with like fat in your act. the generally in a room you just the noise alone in a room with 200 people can make it make something kind of flow. It gets real when it's four people. I mean I you know, we used to do shows. I remember if it was eight it was like we're going to tape tonight. Like eight was like huge. Like you're like, "I'm going to I'm going to get this down, dude. This is I still think to this day that it's like you need it's like if you're an athlete you got to cross train. You got to run every now and then. Sometimes you have to lift weights. I think for a comic it's great to do a big crowd, but it's also great to do almost no one. Yep. I think it's good. I think it teaches you how much of your act is [ __ ] Do you have trouble with uh cuz I always heard Seinfeld would say he wish he could go back to where

157:25perform in front of no one. You know when you perform in a crowd that doesn't know you at all. Yeah. Like when you get a murder, dude. You know when you go in and you're like they don't really know who you are. They're like, "Is this guy good or not?" And you get a murder. Like there's not much better than that. When you can you can hear them laughing and you're like, "Dude, I'm not even too what's good yet." And you just got them. You earned it. It's you earned it. And that was the feeling you got when you were that built that built so much confidence cuz you're like, "These people don't know me." Yeah. At all. It's true. Do you ever miss you know, it's like now every room you're going to go in they're going to you know, you you you're not going to be able to pop up and be they'll be like, "I don't know. I never even I think you

158:08just got to be happy. Yeah. I I you know, there's no sense in wanting something that you're not going to get. Well, it's a new thing you got to learn. Now they have expectations. So you got to be good enough for their expectations. For sure. Yeah, and they paid money to see you and they maybe a little I let them know I did. What do you dye your beard, bro? Yeah. No, I wish I did. is white and it [ __ ] steers it dark. This guy's let's get out of here. Watch him leave. donuts and [ __ ] Not even cuz he's fat idiot eating all these Krispy Kreme. Dude, they can't one time at Carolines they would do uh you know, they did like Wednesday night or something like uh comic to watch and you get a headline and no one showed up and they like you see they had to have 20 people and we didn't have 20 so they canceled the show

158:52to me and the audience at the same time at the bar. So if there's less than 20 they won't do a show? At that time at Caroline's because it was such a big room that it was it wasn't worth it. So we had like 12. For the like employers? Yeah, just for whatever. Yeah, cuz Caroline's was a little different not as much like spot you know it was like they did a they would do a normal weekend where they would have the headliners features. But I remember standing with the crowd. Obviously no one knew I was no no it was nobody. But then I just remember standing with the crowd and they can't they canceled it they go no show tonight folks. They told me and the audience and we all walked up together as a I do look romantically back on road gigs that were terrible. I do look back on those moments where I just thought like what in the [ __ ] am I doing with my life

159:36and now I laugh. You know I do I do miss those. I do there's something not not even miss them but I'm glad I went through it. You know there's something about it. Like if you're one of those guys that is like a YouTube star and then you become famous doing YouTube and then you first time you do stand up people already know who you are. Man, you're kind of [ __ ] You're I I I always thought I would always say I think you make it at 20 or 40 and I don't think anybody makes it in the middle. Like so it's either you come out of the gate and you get it immediately or you have to wait till you're 40. And like and so it's and it's like if you could choose it obviously we're all trying to make it at 20. That's the dream. So we all start this going you cuz there's the guys that you're like you never know who's going to be in the audience you

160:21never know. So you think that and then next thing you know you're 28 you're 33 you're and you know and you're doing better but you're not what you thought you were and then but if you waited out all the people that were 40 at like you you realize that there's a lot of people that were 40 that became some of the best comedians Maron you know it took forever like I remember seeing Maron in New York and people kind of knew him because of the radio show that he was on but then you see it like really pop and then these people connect. Burr was a big one cuz I got to see Burr kind of go up to where like people didn't know who he was and then it was like everybody knew who he was and then he starts selling out. You know it's like it's a pretty interesting and I don't know I mean you I think you want to be it's better to wait. If you

161:06if you had a choice you have no one has a choice in this but like the people that have to be or forced to wait tend to be better comics. If you work on it. Yeah, if you you've if you develop. I mean it really is about that. One of the things that happens to some people is they they take detours and they do other things like television shows and I've done that and that does it it can hamper your stand up. It most certainly can hamper it because you're so you're so concerned with your television show and you're working on the television show all the time and it's not that it's a bad thing to complain about it's great to have a television show but that takes away time for your stand up. When I was doing Fear Factor I used to think about that sometimes like man I could be doing stand up right now and instead I'm watching people eat animal

161:50dicks and this is not helping my act other than being able to make fun of Fear Factor. That's all that's all in your head and then you But one thing it did do is it made me appreciate like okay now I know. Like now I've been on a sitcom now I've been a host of a game show I and these are both you know great jobs to get but I know that stand up's better. Yeah. Like now I know. Did you do spots during those times? Did you do your yeah? I did a lot of spots at the store. During the NewsRadio thing was an interesting thing because when I did that I I really slacked off. That was a long days. Those those especially in the early days of NewsRadio we when we were trying to make it work right cuz sitcoms are complicated. They trying to figure out what it is and where the characters fit in and we had 12-hour days regularly. It was it was a lot of

162:37writing on it too? No, I wasn't writing on it but they did let you write. Like if you had a new way to handle a scene like if you like Paul Simms the guy who created it was brilliant and one of the things he would do was like Dave Foley in particular wrote a lot of [ __ ] for a lot of us and wrote a lot of he rewrote a lot of scenes and rewrote a lot of entries and all kinds of different things that happened on the set but you were always working and I was tired so I'd go do a set but I didn't write at all and the problem was I got to the point where my act was really flat. Like I felt flat and then I had one night where I bombed hard in front of a couple friends of mine one of them was a writer and the other one was one of the producers. I just ate [ __ ] and then I realized like oh my god I I am falling apart. Like why am I either

163:24I'm going to stop doing stand up which wasn't an option or I'm going to get to work. Yeah. Cuz I I knew that I had slacked off. I knew I hadn't put any work into it. I knew I would go on stage without even thinking about my act until the moment I got on stage. Like I was doing no preparation. I was just lazy because I had another job. Yeah well it's I've seen that balance of having to when you do that and two when you have the other job your energy your in your head you're thinking so much in that world where there's two different things. Like I've written shows and you're like when you write a show it's just much different than writing stand up and so you kind of thinking of show world so like then you don't come up with stuff really that fit that would fit on stage. For sure. your your brain just kind of shifts over to this you know so it's it's such an

164:11interesting thing to have to balance out. Were you able to did you have were you like on the would you go on the road like NewsRadio did it like help with tickets and stuff like that? Did it like It helped a little. Um I did pretty good you know. It wasn't I wasn't famous you know I was like one of eight people on a sitcom that wasn't doing well. You know like nobody was watching that show. It was it was very rare that I got recognized anywhere very rare. Like occasionally I would someone go hey yeah [ __ ] guy from that show. It wasn't like anybody knew my name so if they would come to see me it was you know I had been doing stand up for 10 years. I was reasonably funny but then I did my first Warner Brothers thing in 1999 did a an album and then when I got on Fear Factor was more of the same [ __ ] it was like I was so busy that for those

165:02years on Fear Factor I didn't really tour that much and one of the reasons why I started touring was Dice Clay. I was I met him at the Comedy Store and you know I was always seeing him there and one day he goes you know you should go to do the [ __ ] road. He goes you don't need these jerk offs all these [ __ ] people whether or not they hire you don't hire you can make good money. You're a funny guy go do the [ __ ] road and I was like yeah I should do the road. I'm like here I can't believe I'm talking to Dice Clay you know when I was 19 years old I remember me and my girlfriend at the time were listening to his his stand up in a cassette in my car giggling like little kids and then here I am talking to him and he's giving me advice at the Comedy Store and he goes who you are. Yeah. Yeah it's crazy. And

165:42he thinks I'm funny so I'm like holy [ __ ] all right I'll go on the road. So I started going on the road and I would do like you know weekends here weekends there but after Fear Factor then I got really dedicated cuz I had been doing it a lot in town. I'd doing a lot of shows at the store regularly and I had actually put together new material and I did well but my best work was all after Fear Factor was done because I then I was much more appreciative of it and dedicated to it. on it and then it's it's and and get out of the road. I think the road is a is gigantic. I've I think I write more from the road than I did when I was in New York. Yeah. Cuz I think A you got to learn how to do these longer sets too. Doing an hour and that's what happens to sometimes in New York. I know a lot of New York comics can be very easy to get stuck

166:28there where you end up doing these spots and it's a good place to be but you're doing 15 minutes or 10 minutes and like when I first would go out on the road start headlining I mean I would I would be tired at 40 minutes. Like you just are tired cuz I I never you know I wasn't used to talking that long and keeping an audience attention that long and that's a it's a whole different different thing. The way you set everything up is just it's so different and that's what's fun now to go when you get to go to a theater or something and you walk out you know and it's crazy. Like you I try to never take it for granted you always like you just try to remind yourself like I you almost when you're there too you feel like they're there for someone else which is always a very weird thing. You're like who's here tonight? Like because it's just so weird.

167:15Yeah. You're you know like in your own head you're like dude I stink dude this is this is this is that. When you hear your name are you still like what? Who? Are they really clapping for me? The and excited. Yes. Crazy. Like they they got babysitters man. It's it becomes more it's a show. Yeah. That's I always look at it as a it's show business. It feels like show business. You're going there's you know union workers there's a light guy there's all this and this they're doing a show these people got babysitters. You're it's like them going to Nutcracker but they're coming to you. Yeah. It's weird. It's it's I think that's a sign of a good artist though when you have that imposter syndrome. I think that's a sign of someone that doesn't take themselves too seriously. I think I would be worried if you didn't think that way. Yeah who else are they coming

168:02to see you like No but I mean if you if you like of course they're here for me. Of course. I'm the [ __ ] man and you walked out like to this day. You do better when your back in a corner and so you should always that's I can always tell I think when I feel like where I feel now. If you feel like your comedy is you know like trying to write a new act you're like dude I stink dude like this is I just I don't I did it. I've done all I can do. I don't have anything else funny anymore. You know you should always have that feeling cuz you feel your back's against the wall and you're like I got to find something I got to figure something out. The special's is to come out these people are to come see me and they're all asking, "Should I watch it? Should I not watch it? Am I going to be How much new stuff do you have?" You know. And they kind of know

168:44that now. 100%. Used to be They used to not ever really I think, you know, like you see Seinfeld did his whole He was able to tour that for 20 years. I know, it's crazy, and then he did two specials where he did old material on it. One of them was I'm telling you for the last time. Like, what? And he did it. paid him millions for those specials, which is hilarious. to tell you one more time in 20 years. That's what they That was going to be like I watched that in a movie theater. I watched No, the comedian. Comedian was a big reason I moved to New York. Well, one of the things that changed is podcasts where comedians started having conversations like this. Where people were fan of comedy fans of comedy, now they get how we do it, and they get the process. So, now when they come to see you, if you're doing like a Tuesday night at Zany's, they know, "Oh, Nate's

169:28working out some shit." You know, they know you're up there [ __ ] around. If you have some notes, they don't get, "Oh, you don't even remember your stuff." They know like, "Oh, he just wrote some new [ __ ] Like, he wants to try it out." Like, Yeah. It's different. It's a different thing. Like, they they understand the process, and they also understand that if they see you and you have this new bit about something that just happened today, and then you they see you again 6 months from now, they're like to see where that bit has gone. And they get to see the evolution of it and all the new tags that you've added to it and all the new places you've taken the the concept of it. have stuff from the podcast? Occasionally, there's a an idea that'll pop into my head from the podcast, and I have to remember to write it down. There

170:05might be a bit there somewhere. Yeah. But it's usually like just kind of fleshing it out. But Burr is the most interesting to me because what Bill does is just rant. I mean, I've been on his podcast, but for the most part, and he's had guests occasionally. Yeah. And his wife is occasionally on his podcast, but for the most part, what it is is Bill going, "What the [ __ ] is And it just just ranting for a [ __ ] hour and a half, 2 hours, whatever he does, just ranting about all kinds of different things. And it's always entertaining, but what's interesting is there's so many concepts that come out of these two week every two a week he does these Yeah, Monday, Thursday. plus long rants, and it's a a brilliant way to write. Like, you you you're He's always got new ideas to to write. And new what new ideas to talk about.

170:54Well, talking and being funny, that's the thing that I miss the most about New York is the thing that you kind of lose as the busier you get, you get a family, you're touring, you're kind of alone. Yeah. And with your family versus back then when you're going out every night with each other, and you got to be funnier with each other than everybody else. Right. That's other comedians. Like, that is like why that's why you're the you You guys are so good. Yeah. Cuz you're sitting there at the table, and everybody's there. Bobby Kelly just, you know, Yeah. Talking [ __ ] Going crazy, you know, like Ben Bailey. Ben Bailey and I used to hear I remember hearing Ben Bailey, Greer Barnes, I think were the two I would hear them murder the hardest. You would hear the audience downstairs, and it was just something else, dude. Like, it was just They would murder so

171:38hard. We were at the New York when it was the Improv still, but then it's now it's Broadway Comedy Club. Uh but it was the name was still the Improv. Which which Improv? Uh 48th, 49th and old Improv? No, it's not it This was the one It's now Broadway Comedy Club in the exact same building. Okay. And so When did it switch over? When was it the Improv? 2005. It was the Improv before when I got there it was called the Improv. He got sued, I think, cuz he couldn't Al Martin owned it. Oh, so he didn't really have the Improv name. No, no. He's just putting it up there. That's hilarious. And What the [ __ ] is he thinking? Well, I don't remember the whole backstory, but I remember it being Yeah, he was like the And I think they were going to sue him, and I remember them saying they were going to change the name, and then they changed it to Broadway Comedy Club.

172:20Um that's not a bad name. And then No, it was good. Uh but I remember being upstairs cuz we'd be upstairs running this like late show. And uh then I don't know if you've ever been in that club, but you walk straight back, there's a great room. It sits probably, you know, 100 people. And the downstairs was the picnic table room, goes deep, and I remember here you just hear Ben Bailey and Greer Barnes, dude, would be I met Greer Barnes in like the early '90s. He was killing it back then. He's been around forever. Yeah. Murders, dude. Yeah, there's always going to be those guys, you know, that just been around for a long time. Tony Woods? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Tony Woods been around a long time. Been killing it forever. You know how I heard that I thought was the bossest of Bob Marley? Bob Marley's hilarious. right? Like, he'd be god. Especially in Maine.

173:11Yeah. He's one of the rare guys that like he's a national headliner, he could tour everywhere, but in Maine, Yeah. he does arenas. I'm not joking. He does He's a superstar. He has so much Maine humor. Like, he would do shows in Maine where he would do like five shows a night. Like, start at like noon. Yeah. I'm not joking. He'd just do shows all day long. Yeah, Bobby Kelly would always tell me that like he was like, "Dude, he goes, 'No one murdered like him, dude.'" He goes, "You you would just hear him murder." He's a very funny guy, but also a sweetheart of a guy, like a really nice guy. Yeah. I've never met him, but uh I first met him, he was doing a guest set on a show I was doing in Maine in the middle of [ __ ] nowhere. I forget where we were. And you know, it was a local kid, and you know, he was talking about, you know, getting into comedy. He

174:02was like, just kind of just getting our feet wet on the road. I met him out there. And you know, and then he went everywhere else. Like, he was out in LA for a bit, and you know, traveled around, and you know, did the road and all that, but became a [ __ ] enigma. Yeah. Like, there's nobody like him in terms of like in one state, he's so famous. He's so famous. I mean, he's a national headliner everywhere, but in one state, he's 100 times more famous. Yeah. It's a problem. He can't go out. Why would he? Yeah, why would he? Why would he be there cranking out Maine jokes? Yeah, it's uh It remind Just this is not to compare him to the cuz it's like he's a a regular comic, but I remember I remember thinking when sometimes you would see comics, they'd have one thing that that they do. Like, their hair is cut a certain way, and it

174:50like it fits their act, you know, or they they have to do I have to wear this shirt cuz I make fun of this shirt every time. And uh but there was a comic in Nashville as an open mic a long time ago, and he had a ponytail, and he'd always do these 5 minutes about his ponytail. That's all he did every open mic. One day he shows up, his ponytail is gone. And we're like, "What are you going to do?" You know. And he And he was like offended, dude. He's like, he's like, "I got other stuff, dude." And we're like, "All right, I'm You know, we're so new, we're like, "Okay." I used to have a ponytail. Dude. He starts He goes up into his new stuff and starts bombing so hard, and he goes, "So, I used to have a ponytail." And then he And then he just does his ponytail material. That's hilarious. Oh, it's my And I just remember that moment learning like, "Yeah, you don't

175:35want to do that." You don't want to get caught to get caught that you can't change you the way you look because Right. I used to have a ponytail. Bobcat Goldthwait went through that because he used to have that whole thing and he'd go on stage like that with that crazy noises he would make. And then he just said, "Fuck that. I'm not doing that anymore." And he would go on the road, and they'd be like, "Hey, do the Bobcat thing." He'd be like, "No, [ __ ] you." Yeah, "I'm not doing it." And like, it took years for people to accept the fact that he didn't make those crazy Police Academy noises anymore. Yeah. I know Burr used to have trouble with just where they would When you know when the Philadelphia thing came out? The roast. The roast. He every crowd would be like, "Roast us." They wanted him to do that. He'd have to be like, "No." Like, Burr

176:18always did really good at it. Like, he would just I would see him go, "No." And I was like, "Would you not do old jokes?" Like, you know, cuz you have people yell out, "Yeah, do this. Close with this." Yeah. And uh and I'm like, "Would you ever do that?" And then he goes, "No. You just don't you don't give it to them." I I learned with him Me and him went to Daytona 500 in Talladega. Like, he just he'd go to these sport You know, he would always just go to these sport events, and so we like we go see that, which is unbelievable to go watch with NASCAR. Like, it's just very fun. It's crazy. These cars are going 200 mph, dude. They're an inch from each other. And it's it's just wild. And to be there, just how loud it is, it's just fun. So, we go, and his special just came out, and he would do a show beforehand. And this just I remember we do we do the show,

177:06and uh his special just came out. Like, the I mean, honestly, it was like the day before. And then he had a he had a whole new hour. I was like, "How do you have a new hour already?" He's like I learned that he's like, "Well, I just He's almost got an hour of just kind of jokes sitting around." Mm. You know, like you just collect I mean, I'm sure you do. Like, you just end up stuff that doesn't make specials that you can kind of go fall back on. So, then when you as until you build your new But this hour was like I I was like, "You should tape a special with that that hour, dude." Like, that hour is unbelievable. He's a lot more like fun story Like, you know, some just stories that you could tell are just old kind of fun stories that he just doesn't do. Well, you know what he said once to me? It's a really interesting point. He said, "I remember

177:50when I was a kid, I went to see bands, and uh if a band would come into town and half-ass it, they just wouldn't care, wouldn't try, I remember I felt so [ __ ] ripped off." And he goes, "Uh and you know, I remember thinking I'll never do this to my fans. I'll never never [ __ ] them over and not give them my best effort." Yeah. Yeah. It's like Mickey Mantle or Joe DiMaggio. One of them said Joe DiMaggio principle. Yeah, someone out there there's someone who hasn't seen Joe DiMaggio play, and I don't want to let them down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a great way of looking at it. And with Bill Like again, with Bill's show, his his show is so interesting because it's so different than anybody else's podcast. I mean, there's a few other guys that are doing it that way now where they rant about things. I think Theo Von does it kind of similar.

178:32But he gives you like so much stuff to think and talk about and it it works those rant muscles, you know? Where you can just get your brain kind of going down a hallway that like you're any kind of can figure some other some other stuff out and kind of grab stuff and like yeah, it's great. So, when is your special coming out? Uh March 18th. Is Netflix? Mhm. Netflix. Are you happy with the the audience with masks on and everything? Uh It's kind of marks in it and it's kind of I I didn't want it to be I don't want it to like feel like a COVID special. So, you don't want like someone to like not watch it like in a year it's just they take it off Netflix. Like for some they throw it away. You're like you don't do that. They're like yeah, we did for you. We did yeah. Right. So, I was trying to make sure it didn't feel like that. I open with stuff about COVID. Uh

179:23and so I you know, cuz I I it was like you have to. You can't I don't want to be we're do we're shooting a special outside the audience has masks. So, I can't not address it. And so, I have a couple jokes that I do like you know, five eight minutes something about COVID up top very just down the middle kind of COVID. I'm not a I don't like I'm not a big preacher of I don't care if you vote or not vote like I could care less than you know, you just kind of go like I'm just making dumb jokes. Like we talked about earlier like being a comic that you're like I don't know. What is what does it matter? Yeah. And so, I feel pretty good about it. I was I wish I would have had it my normal run up to this material of actual indoor shows and I would have felt better. But overall, I think it's like you know, we had helicopters fly over. We left it

180:06in. Oh, wow. Cuz it's like we just kind of riffed about it and then I found out later it was a police chase was going on. Oh, wow. that's why they were cuz I was like how are they not like what is going like one of the jokes I make about it I was like why does it helicopter like one would come from here and one comes over here. I'm like why doesn't they talk to each other? And go hey, I'm already over here dude. Don't worry about it. Like cuz they would like keep coming. I'm like what do why like that's the main thing a helicopter does is stay in the place. Like hover. And hover. And then I would just hear him go and then a different one come you're like just stay. Why don't you stay over there, man? Police chases are so strange because they show them on TV and it's so compelling cuz you know the guy's going to get caught. You're like when is it

180:48going to happen? It's the greatest. And then finally the tire blows out and you see the guys driving on sparks. He just runs through a neighbor. You watch it all from one of them news helicopters, right? So, they're watching it all from the top. News helicopters are weird, too, man, right? They I mean they're they're kind of in the way. They're they're involved in this weird chase. Yeah, cuz they I mean I don't know they have to go at a higher I wonder how they do that. Yeah, they have to go at a higher level or something. be something like that. LA had police chases. All the time. All the time. All the time. We never really had them in Nashville. I don't remember but it so it was it was a it was very special if one popped up cuz you were Very special. Yeah, you were I mean it was like it was like a new movie dropping. You're like like you're just

181:30glued to the TV. But the big thing was always wondering when the guy was if the guy was going to get caught when's there going to be a shootout? Was the guy going to die? I remember one of them um Well, I don't know I don't know if was it was a car chase or what but there was a guy that was on a he was on a bridge with a shotgun and blew his brains out on television. Yeah. And they they didn't That's crazy. know if they should pull away or not and they're they're filming it. They didn't know what was going to happen and then boom. You see this guy blow his brains out on TV. That's the Erie, Pennsylvania the documentary on Netflix where they in Erie, Pennsylvania where there's a comedy club there Junior's comedy club and you have to be clean to work that club. But uh they the guy that had the bomb attached right. The bomb attached to his neck.

182:14And they showed that. that out. They never figured out who put that bomb on him. it was that that the the people that were with him made him do it. Like I don't know if he was I think you know. He blew his brains out, right? Yeah, it went off. A neck bomb. A neck bomb the pizza bomber or something was that what they called him or something? Yeah. Something like that. Yeah, they just send him out there in the world. Yeah. Yeah, just and then it ends up killing him. What the [ __ ] man? Oh, yeah those guys those guys did it. Look at the people in that [ __ ] picture. Yeah. Look at these sketchy [ __ ] people. I know. You're not surprised by any of it. Like if you if you just saw the pictures of them you might be able to guess what they did if if before you know. So, he was involved in it? He was a part of it. I don't

182:55I don't I don't know if I remember. I don't know if he was involved in it. I I you know, I almost like kind of the making of the murder like the Right. the kid you know, where it's Like you don't know. You're like maybe he was there dude but he doesn't really it's he didn't know what he was doing or he didn't I don't know if he even did it. Maybe he was just there. Like I don't know. But it's like you know, he's definitely the person that you're like he's not you feel bad the worst for. I mean even that guy died. So, you know. Well, you know, you have children and you know that when you see someone who's gone so far down the wrong road that they're wearing a neck bomb sitting there with a cop just around like that was someone's child. Like that was someone's little baby and now all of a sudden they're in a [ __ ] shootout

183:40with the cops or they're in a high speed chase and their tire blows out and they're being followed by a a news helicopter. Your biggest fear would to hear that you're like how are their parents? You're like parents were lovely. Like his parents were like they lived in a they lived in a great neighborhood and stuff. You know, that wouldn't make him you sadly but you do want to hear they're like how was his family? You're like he's never he he was raised in a tree and you're like all right. All right. We're fine then. Like we're we're good. That that is a scary thing, right? If you're like a good parent but your kid just has a blown fuse. Yeah, you have no idea. Well, they always say that with school like I remember seeing a uh Jeffrey Dahmer's dad they interviewed his dad and they're like is there any signs like he used to kill animals and

184:17stuff like that? And they're like you know, there's always signs afterwards. Like you're no one believes you can never imagine that your kid is going to be the most famous serial killer on earth. Like you just couldn't Right. wrap your head around that. And his dad his dad they're like they're like he's like yeah, he used to like kill animals and stuff but like it was like the 50s. He's like I thought kids just did that. Like he just did you know, I don't know if he knew Right. that it was going to get to cuz you can't imagine. Yeah, and that was the thing with Jeffrey Dahmer, too. He's like one of the first guys that ate people. Yeah, it's a lot. Imagine your son is like one of the first serial killers that was eating his victims. He At least least he's he's kind of like using everything, right? Yeah. It's very green. hunting. Yeah, it's like

185:07he's ahead of his time. You're like wow. All right. It's like he's an organic uh He would keep he would keep them in like um like barrels like sealed barrels in his house. Imagine that's your boy. That's your little baby boy. Like you're throwing catch with them out in the yard. All right, Jeff. Yeah. Time to get ready to go to school. Come on, Jeff. First day of school Jeff. Like wow. He bit somebody. Did he? Killed a squirrel today during recess. Yeah. Yeah, they get kids, you know. He just gets in the car. Kids will be kids. You have no idea. It's crazy. It's you have little picture yeah. I don't know if they have his family would have just would you ever even have pictures of him? That's a lot to deal with. That's like the Iceman. The Iceman that guy Yeah, he had a I mean he had a family, you know, like Yeah. Yeah, he had a wife

185:54and children. Yeah. And they and they to have no idea I mean I guess you got to I think he was abusive to his wife. I'm sure when she she would be surprised to the extent but it wasn't probably like she's like yeah, he's crazy. Like I you know. Yeah, that guy scared the [ __ ] out of me because the way he would be so calm about the way he murdered people. He'd be like jeez. And he was abuse. Like his father abused the [ __ ] out of him. And that turned him into that kind of a monster. And if you abuse a a kid that much when they're young and you make them angry and mean and vicious when they're that young and then they grow up to do something like that. You have a a pitbull is like a dog like it's like it's along the same you're just training it to be no problem. Yeah. Yeah. Well, dude, I got to get the [ __ ] out of here.

186:43Let's wrap this [ __ ] up. Your special April No, March. March excuse me March 18th. Oh. It's it's Thursday. This Thursday. Oh. Thursday. Okay, so as of the day this podcast comes out it'll be tomorrow. Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah. All right, brother. Yeah, man. Thanks, man. Well, my pleasure. Let's do it again. I would love it dude. Yeah, Nashville's a hop skip and a jump away from here. Come on down. You know, your face is on the wall. I know. I got to come down to Zanies. A dump truck ran through my face. Did it run through your face? Did you do it? Did you do it? I did. It only went through my face. Did it? Really? That was your face? Just my face. They fixed it pretty quick. They did really good. They had a sold out show that weekend so they got it going. Really? They put like wall up, you know, sold out in the whatever the sense of sold out now but

187:26yeah, they put like like you know, dry like something to make it real quick. Are you happy Oh, you and John Witherspoon. Got little John's cheek and then just Um are you happy with the new painting or do you like the old painting better? No, no. I'm happy with the new one. I actually had him change the picture. He grabbed the cuz the old picture that he had and I had him change the picture. Dude, they the news was down there every day. What happened with the guy who drove the truck? He was going to a porta john to bathroom and he walks out and doesn't put a neutral and it just Oh, it just rolled. Just rolled. And it's a big one. March 18th. So, as of the day this podcast comes out it'll be out tomorrow. So, thank you, man. Thank you, man.