Dom Irrera

00:01And four and three and two and one Oh, what a way to lead the show there Joe Rogan. I like to do it that way I don't know why I've been talking you like that forever, but I know you we always go into these Irish accents They would throw us out of Ireland with those exits. I think it was when you started touring in Ireland on a regular basis That's a long time Joe. Yeah, but you you've always been touring in Ireland. I remember you talked about how great Ireland was Decades ago. Yeah. Yeah, you've always loved it there. I've been to the Kilkenny Festival more than any other white guy. No, I mean American How long you been there how many times think like 22 holy shit Rich Hall also went a lot, but he's he's based in London. I'm the only one that actually still comes over rich Hall He did the Sniglets. He was on Saturday Night Live. He's based in London now. Yeah, he likes it better there

00:54You know, he still works here once in a while He's got a place in Montana, but he was on Saturday Night Live and he did that Sniglets book and it was a big smash I paid to see him live when I was one week into comedy He was performing at stitches and I went there live to see Oh stitches in Boston. Yeah So he lives in London now is he still doing stand-up? Yeah, yeah, I saw him at the Laugh Factory in Vegas a couple weeks ago him Harris Pete and Blake Clark He always used Harris Pete like he would take Harris Pete on the road with him and Harris Pete used to watch his Montana place for him Right. That's hilarious. He was a joyless Doorman like he made the comedy experience tense and miserable, but it's pretty funny. He was he was rough as a doorman Harris is but he's one of those old staples of the comedy store. It's almost kind of weird not having him around Yeah, yeah

01:42I mean he made it so uninviting, you know, like yeah Just have a smile to show to people, you know, they're gonna have a good time. He made it like a military thing, you know, yeah It wasn't good. Yeah And then there was Chewy who was always the the guy who was sort of working get anything you wanted or anything you needed from Chewy Yeah, allegedly, you know, he played but he played guitar at the house of blues across the street And he was really good. Yeah, he was with this group and I was thinking 30 feet away You're like the schlub who's like, you know running around trying to try to sell, you know coke or whatever he was doing And here you're like a big star like it's so close yet so far, you know Yeah, he used to headline at the house of blues. We would all go over and see him. He was fucking good man Very good. Yeah his band. Where's he at? I don't know Wow

02:33I've been seeing him years you haven't seen that guy in literally forever well this whole Renaissance the comedy store has happened since you you came back and the guys then they started filtering back Bill Burr and And and Chris DeLeo came in, you know, but it's but when he was here. There was some slow nights man. Oh, yeah You know, you know, you know, the place is slow when Paulie and I are the most famous people It's not a good sign. I'm not putting myself down, but let's face it You need a little more than two of us. Yeah, it's weird there now, isn't it? You go there now. It's like it's mobbed You can't get through the hallways. It's incredible. I mean, you know, I like you always think what's going on? It's nothing It's just a regular night, but you'll have something in the main room or Sam Tripoli or it's incredible Tuesday night main room full

03:20That was unheard of. Yeah Tuesday night main room sold out while the OR sold out while the belly room sold out Yeah, on Tuesday night. It's crazy. It's good though. It's great for us. It's fun. Yeah Well, I love the crowds there. I mean, I really get something out of all three clubs. I really do like Laugh Factory is like college kids and and foreign students and for foreign people and The Comedy Store to me is the most cross-pollinated like in the sense that there's so many more tourists Yeah, hotels, you know, right and then the improv is kind of like Hollywood slick Yeah, yeah And then there's the improv lab, which I just can't get a read on I've done it a couple times just for the challenge and men They sit there and then all of a sudden they laugh it like scares you because they were sitting there It was quiet and then they you know

04:07It's a weird little room. Yeah, they're very discerning. You know that that's like the hip spot there The thing is that room used to be a great room when it was set up the other way. I liked it the other way too The other way was amazing when it was the that whole bar area. Yeah. Yeah well You know, I just the thing is I don't know if you go you don't do the multiple shows Are you do them all at the store? I do some of them some nights I'll do the improv and then I'll jet over to the store too. I don't really do the factory anymore Yeah, but if I can do it if I do an early show at the store Sometimes they'll do the ice house as well well you'll do benefits there once in a while Yeah, that's the way build bill does it too. It's like, you know Whatever makes you happy. You know, we've talked about this. It's like I just love the idea and I know you do you have a thought and you can go on that night

04:59Yeah, you know, I mean what imagine like an actor can't do that No, it's giant too because sometimes that thought is funny to you right there in that moment You know why it's funny to you and you might forget why it's funny the next day You might have like a little napkin with something written down, you know tampons kleenex right, you know paper towels Well, I don't carry tampons anymore anymore because my rectal bleeding is I don't think that's the way to go with rectal bleeding. I think there's other options I think you think you're where did you ever get the colonoscopy? No Colonoscopy right? Yeah Anyway, people ask me they said I was saying something they go it's funny I said I don't think these college kids want to hear about that No, you know, it's not the kind of subject I would bring up, but it's bad enough. I'm older than them

05:42I don't want to bring up stuff that hasn't happened to them yet Yeah stuff that they they don't they're never gonna understand like Alzheimer's hey kids, you know what about Alzheimer's disease, right? What's the name of the disease? I can't remember the name Yeah Well, we were talking Jamie we were talking. Uh, I was telling them the power of this podcast Not to stroke you, but you know, you know how strong it is when I went to Australia doesn't not even think of all these boys were there And they were like busting my chops about not knowing how do you remember? We did a thing about how much does a gorilla way? You were much closer than I was and they're busting my balls about not knowing how much Rogan beat you on that one, you know That's funny in Australia. Of course, it's about wildlife over there

06:23I got a buddy my buddy Adam Greentree is always trying to get me to come over to Australia and every time I find something on Online that can kill you from Australia send it to him. Fuck you Yeah, but you never see that stuff you got to go to the outback for that Well, that's where he wants to take me. What do you why would you want to go there? You might as well just go to the Mojave Uh, hunting. There's a lot of bow hunting in Australia bull hunting bow like archery. Oh my can you do that? In Australia? No, can you do it? Are you good with a bow and arrow for real? Yeah That's where I got that Wow No, I didn't know I bow hunted can't believe I never told you that no I've been doing it for years I've seen pictures of you and Brian Hunting hunting yeah bear and stuff with rifles was that with rifles do you have any idea how much more of a man? You are than I am I'm not thinking about that often

07:11No, but I'm not I never I mean I don't hunt I don't do anything to me It's like a big deal to have somebody drive me to Vegas I feel like an adventure. I don't think it has anything to do with being a man Well, just think you you don't have the same interest as me That's the beautiful thing about America down my rare Do whatever the fuck you want Thank you for telling about the country that we love but I I just don't I don't know I mean the whole idea of sleeping and out in the woods and all it's fun I enjoy it. I enjoy five-star hotels. I enjoy those 24 hour room service. I like that as well That's nice too. I like that as well, but I do like getting up open up the tent looking out just seeing a mountain Fill with trees and hearing the birds chirp and put your boots on Having a cup of coffee that's warmed up by a fire. I love all that must be very funny with you and Callen

08:02Callen is one of the funniest guys That's ever lived when it comes to like just hanging out. Yeah Bullshitting definitely with a small group of people. Yeah, we did His energy and he just don't he knows how to make shit laugh. Yeah, we did this hunt in Montana in 2012 It was like six or seven days in the Missouri breaks, which is like a very Really a real wild place. You don't see any people. There's no cell phone signals And it was six solid days of gay jokes coming out of Callen And I mean gay jokes like Callen being gay with us like wanting to have sex with us or wanting us to have sex with him and And just it never stopped being funny. He's fucking hilarious It's now do you get all this down? Do you does anybody cover it? You know for like a show someday Yeah, that was for a show that was for a show called meat eater

08:53It's a it's a hunting show that my friend Steve Rinello has and um, we've done that show three times four Four times we've done that show four times Does your wife mind you going on these trips like no she likes it and the meat is amazing You know you come back with wild game I can't imagine killing someone and eating it It's so so but you're just eating meat right there But the chicken yeah, but I don't think of it is like course because you didn't kill it Do you ever think of like salami as being like part of an animal to me? It's like just this little thing that runs around they cut its legs off and make a sandwich Well, I think about it that way now I think about it as meat But yeah, I always just thought about it as salami. It's very convenient. Yeah, you know It's very convenient to think about things that way and you lose that convenience when you hunt you get a weird

09:45Connection with your food that some people just don't want and I understand that too There's some people just want to be able to go to the grocery store pick up a little Styrofoam container that has a steak in it take it home cook it. They're good and they're fine with that That's fine, too So you've killed stuff and eaten it there I've killed stuff and eaten it in the woods. Yeah, or eating part of it Obviously, then you freeze it. Yeah. Yeah, you bring it home and freeze it When did you start this Joe 2012? so six years ago more like Five and a half and you How about the crossbow or what do you see no compound bow looks like a regular bow but it has wheels at the top that are called cams and then the cams When it turns over gives you the mechanical advantage. It makes the bow more powerful Good It's cool. It's intense. I like the crossbows

10:37Yeah, those are good, but it's really just like a shitty gun. That's the crossbow is It's like you're just shooting a stick instead of like you're you know, you can rest it and look through the like You could put it on a rest Actually and look through the scope and then squeeze the trigger like a rifle It's not nearly as difficult as a regular bow now Did you ever shoot an animal hit it and then it ran away? Unfortunately, yes, I did that on TV. I did that that meat-eater show. Yeah, there was a Problem with the rifle the the rifle scope was off. Yeah, I'd fallen and the rifles go the rifle scope was installed by one of the guys as we got there we changed scopes because there was a sponsor of the company Sponsor the show rather and they put a different rifle scope on and Shot a deer with it and it was wounded and what it didn't die. Yeah, that's gonna suck. It was horrible. I mean, I'm sure

11:30It sure it died within a couple hours, but we couldn't get to it in time. Yeah, we couldn't find it I'd rather just hit it with a car Well, that's one of the problems where where we were in Wisconsin like at nighttime you got to drive slow. Oh, yeah They're fucking everywhere. They're darting out into the middle of the road, especially when what's called the rut kicks in Do you know what the rut is down there? Yeah, the deer get oh honey. That's what I was thinking. Yeah, yeah, they rut they run around they get fucking crazy They get so crazy. They'll just like walk right into traffic and just stare at cars. I'll fuck anything I mean there's there's videos of moose trying to fuck bales of hay During the rut like they literally lose their mind. They have no idea what's going on. They lose are like nine feet or something

12:15They're gigantic. Yeah, a good-sized moose like a good-sized Canadian moose could be 1800 pounds. Oh shit. Yeah Can't even imagine you don't eat them do you yeah? Yeah, I shot one of those One in the other room you have moose burgers here. Yeah, yeah, I've got moose burgers serious. Yeah I've got some left over yeah, I got a lot of elk burger That's an elk that big guy on the wall back there Wow, they're delicious so good for you, too It's like the best meat you can ever oh, yeah It doesn't even look the same. It looks like a deep dark red. I don't know how a psychological it's obviously psychological But certain me it's like rabbit I can't eat and I don't know why because I'll eat chicken It doesn't really make sense. Are you a Bugs Bunny fan? Yeah big hardcore hardcore Did you get the tattoo? Yeah, but I don't want to talk about it. Can we talk about this off the air, please? Yes. Sorry

13:06It's embarrassing. I know I know um Yeah, a lot of people will get real attached to rabbits, but chickens are like they're heartless little dinosaurs. They're noisy and Yeah Yeah, um Chickens they're they're you know, they're like basically a lizard Just a lizard with feathers really yeah Yeah, you pluck all that shit off and look at them like what is that yeah, what's a bird? It's not a flying lizard Not a good-looking animal do they know whether or not pterodactyl I just found out from my seven-year-old that pterodactyls are not dinosaurs Really? Yeah, she corrected me they came in a different period. I don't know She told me they're not dinosaurs and we googled it and she was right and I was like, how am I so stupid? Dinosaurs then I was thinking you know, we always had those images of pterodactyls or they were flying around they had like bat like wings Right, right

13:57You got Jim you got something for me? That's what it says it says they lived at the same time, but they're not actually dinosaurs What makes it a dinosaur technically? It's a good question. Somehow they're not actually dinosaurs They were flying creatures and paleontologists keep telling us that dinosaurs are birds. So the diet what wait a minute Yeah, they're petrosaurus, but that doesn't make any sense because dinosaurs are birds So birds became dinosaurs, but pterodactyls who could fly are not dinosaurs Wasn't the bird the the closest descendant of dinosaurs? Yes. Yeah, they're not dinosaurs So what the hell are they? Here's the thing like when they show that image of them with the skin for wings instead of Bats. I don't know if they know if that's real I don't know if that's based on what they absolutely know or like what they think because they're

14:48Starting to think that a lot of dinosaurs had feathers now. This is pretty recently I was in the museum in Bozeman, Montana there's a museum like a natural history type museum and they have like a split image of a Dinosaur like a raptor and it's covered with feathers Wow Yeah, because they think it's entirely possible that a lot of the dinosaurs were covered in feathers I didn't know that not as much fossilized remains of it. Oh, I didn't know that man never lived with dinosaurs At the same period. Yeah, I didn't know that until a couple years ago. You really didn't know I thought cavemen me know cuz they always show them like in I was going by the Flintstones You really didn't know well, I mean you're a real comic dumb. I guess I am you don't pay attention to shit Outside it's all in jokes. Thank God I can do that decently. What would I do? I would have no skills like I like to teach kids

15:45I like I'd like to teach in fourth grade and that was about it Well, you like having fun. Well, if you teach kids don't teach them about dinosaurs. What did you teach? I taught everything I taught everything because it was Catholic school I taught everything but the but the smart kids math because I was dumb I said I stuck with the dumb kids and I would split the class Okay, come on you retards come with me, which you couldn't say now. Yeah, you couldn't say that now you get in serious trouble You'd be on the front page USA today, you know, I still have kids get in touch with me. Really? Yeah They said it makes me feel so good that it was the best year of their lives as far as going to school Because I really and we we had fucking fun I would go in like my speech was I want to go to the gym more than you guys do so don't mess it up for me

16:29And you got to learn some of this stuff. I don't know why I hate it, too You know, I'd be like kind of honest, right and they dug it and we had just we said that we had dance contest and everything It was hilarious. I had this one kid Tyrone Dunn. He was like a baby James Brown. He could do a split Well complete split and then then get his himself up without touching anything Wow. Yeah amazing like James Brown. Yeah Wow Yeah Well when you're a kid and you're going to school like anyone who has any spark of life is exciting I still to this day think about some of the teachers that I had in high school. I had two really good teachers in high school one lady I wish I could remember her name and one guy who was a Spanish teacher that I'm pretty sure fucked one of my friends Who was a girl? Oh Yeah, she Thanks for clearing it up. He was a young guy. He was like 25 years old and she was hot and

17:26I know that they were like talking a lot and she was 17. He was 25. I'm pretty sure he fucked her I'm almost positive but she was very sexually aggressive and she was Advanced for her time both physically and mentally like she was one of those girls like you knew She was not gonna last in that town. She's gonna get the fuck out of there I remember I did this clean show at the That hotel in San Diego the uh, I forget what was where some like it hot was it's a clean show del coronado I did a clean show like an early show at seven o'clock on a Saturday they make you be clean Oh, they can only make you be so clean but the point the thing I was getting at was uh, there was these 15 year old boys there Right and they're with their parents. You could tell their parents were a little snooty So I said 15 what a great age and this this is this can be a dangerous thing to say

18:16I said, you know, what's great about being 15? You can nail a 15 year old girl and not go to jail for the rest of your life Right like and the kids were crying laughing and the parents were really they look like they wanted to pull them out of there You know, oh, yeah parents don't want kids fucking Yeah hilarious Well if they're both fish 15. Yeah, you really can't get in trouble. Well the girl could get pregnant. Yeah, that's no bueno You know, but like the idea they're gonna stop them like hey you stop doing that thing that feels better than anything You're ever gonna do at school at work Don't do that though. You're all of your cells in your body are compelling you in that direction, but don't do that But don't do it your whole body your DNA your thoughts are haunted everything is wrapped around like tits and ass and legs and feet and mouths and Don't do it. I remember the first time I

19:15Wacked off in my I was in my bedroom in Philly and I came so much and I thought I'll never have children I really did I thought I Just where joy thought I emptied it Train the day it just kept coming oh no flow gushes yeah and amazing how far you would shoot back then to the distance was insane Knock your eye out from but we googled it and we think I think if I remember correctly the furthest a guy ever jizzed was like Twenty nine feet. Holy shit. Yeah, I can't throw it that far. I don't remember making that search I You blacked it out of your mind your memory like a childhood molestation There was a guy Lenny Schultz. I remember crazy Lenny. Yeah, you do? Yeah He used to do a bit about jerking off a midget because I jerk off the midget and he would come in the air and then I would bat his cum onto the crowd

20:06What the fuck? Yeah, no crazy Lenny. What do you say to that? Oh good. I see you writing always writing He used to fucking walk on stage with a smokey the bear doll And he would he would hold the doll up and say only you can prevent forest fires and he goes shut the fuck up and punches the bear It didn't make any sense you were crying laughing He was one of those guys that was just Fucking funny from the look on his face to everything he said He just knew how to he was his own Unique style. He just knew how to be funny. Well, he had that psychotic funny, too Like he looked like a guy to a pet a pigeon and go. Yes, you are daddy loves you in the snap. It's not good. What did I do? Exactly that he loved you exactly and then chuck it aside and yeah moving on with his act He grabs the bear only you can prevent forest fires shut the fuck Goop punches the doll We remember Jimbo's place in Montreal

21:06Yeah, of course Comedy works. Yeah, that's where we were that's where I saw crazy Lenny Well, that's probably around the first time I met you then probably yeah like ninety three ish somewhere in that range I remember meeting you on at the club soda. Yeah, that was fun And then we ran into each other again at Amsterdam billiards, right And we started shooting pool There's only a few of us to play the pool Artie Lang plays real good pool does he yep very good fit Simmons was here yesterday. He plays real good Yeah, Greg and I just played at that at the improv. They used to have a quarter table upstairs. Oh, really? Yeah for years Oh the setup up there is very nice down out the yeah that whole green room with the the the Podcast studio. Yeah, that is cool. Very nice. It's good setup. We're plugging the shit out of these clothes

21:55Yeah, like at a guys who play pool like comics who play pool. It's a fucking small group of us. Yeah Not that many who else somebody else plays good I think Matt Adam Ferrara plays yes for our please very good. Yeah, I don't please very good. Yeah, he was At my house playing but I know I never get you back there because there's too many Obstacles just got a jack up One of those little baby cues well Joe who has room like this who has 50 feet on each side of a pool table Well, we're gonna stream some stuff from here. We're gonna eventually stream pool matches. Oh, yeah. Yeah Yeah, we're gonna set up cameras and just talk shit and Have a live stream you ever heard of twitch. Do you know what twitch is? No Twitch is a streaming service where you play games on it mostly video games most people use it for video games But we've been talking to them about doing

22:43Video games and then I'm thinking we might do some pool matches as well and even some archery put me up against Tosh All right, you're good. I like to play a little bit, but I just I always beat him, you know Oh psychological advantage I don't know. I love beating him that and I'm shooting baskets because because it calls me old man grandpa and all this shit So I want to beat him in something You know what i'm modeling some of the what I do after Tosh in that he doesn't do any interviews He's like I do enough so fucking smart. He's so smart. He's like he knows how to not be overexposed and I've I've fucked that up in the past and now I know I'm just like when I get here I get requests for interviews. I'm like what I say I say too much already Well, I'm already talking to notice I never asked you again because he did me the favor and I don't want to push it

23:29But the fact is we had Jamie to fuck around with that time. So no, I will you know I'm not gonna really nail you on an interview make you oh you mean on your podcast. Yeah, yeah, that's different I do friends podcasts all the time But it's um like interviews and real shows and stuff like that. It's like You got nothing to gain Joe. Yeah, you're famous enough and and Daniel's right I mean what what are you gonna get good out of that like doing uh, Jimmy Kimmel? Doing five minutes. You probably wouldn't want to do the stand up even though it's your favorite thing And then you go over to the panel and you know, like I like craig ferguson only because it was improv Right, right, right Well, I think that sitting down and talking to someone should be like this You really really really want to get to know somebody. Yeah

24:14Just talk to him like this have a have a real conversation with them having a conversation with someone when you're Under the gun of five minutes and you know, there's a band there and you're sitting sideways and you're at the Desk and I'm sitting over like this and you know, we're talking about some project that i'm doing It's like a quick pitch you have like a quick story that you can tell and just so I understand you rent a car when you come into town What's that like? That's funny dumb, you know I do rent a car and I always take the insurance. You know why because I drive like a fucking maniac You people here on highway 95. What are you nuts? What is going on with the drivers in los angeles turn to the audience? You know, I did I did ferguson show once and he gave me the wrong plug I was I had already worked that you know, the denver club that you like so much comedy works

25:01Yeah, I'd already worked that and he they plugged on I said, you know, I came out I said craig you got a really crack staff here. I already worked that gig I said, but i'm so hot i'm light hot in this business. They have to post plug things so there won't be a riot Right, and he said well, we'll just start it over, you know, because they're filming it I says no, I got a spot in a couple hours. I ain't starting it over and we got like in a fake argument It's the most fun I ever had doing Live stand-up because I said let me go go sit in your high chair and judge me like a little joke monkey and then I'll come over and we'll say funny stuff there, too Well, he's just doing stand-up now. Yeah, I mean he's got a show Yeah, it's on serious too as well. Yeah, but just got tired of doing a show. Was it his name? Hitler something or

25:43Really? I think so. His name's Hitler Craig Ferguson. What kind of an asshole for a parent if you're born? No The name of Hitler. I don't care how far you get away from that I can't remember the whole name, but I think Hitler was in the in the name in the name like hitlersberg Hitlerstein Scottish right yeah What is it it says a Bing Hitler is like what he did in the 80s looks like yeah, yeah Oh Bing Hitler. Yeah, oh was it a character? Yeah, yeah, oh, I wish we could play it Oh, look at that Christ look at him. That's hilarious. He looks like he's 12 He looks like he's a kid in school. He really does young face. He is with his fake act with his hair all fucked up Give me some wine Wow The accent so much thicker in it even in drinks now Wow, that stuff mess girl from Mexico Wow So he had a character Yeah, that was the character that he'd do and the character he would go crazy with it

26:48Yeah, well there was a time and there's still color is still a time where we're enthralled by mediocre people with fake accents Yeah, yeah not fake accents, but you know accents from other places foreign accents. I should say not fake I also it's like the thing that bothers me and I love for stand-up and it I just it was when a guy acts so different or like all of a sudden he goes into this character Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Like yeah Instead of them the funniest guys to me are guys that do characters, but they're themselves Yeah, and they talk real like you know, and that's why I mean you and Burr You're the same guys on and off stage, you know when we're talking sometimes you get silly sometimes you're serious, right? But just be yourself. Yeah, I know what you're saying be sincere, but you can be just as fucking goofy as you want But don't stay in that yeah, it's so hacky to me

27:36It can be I'm always waiting for someone to do it right something. I don't want to pass judgment Like maybe one guy comes along and he's in character all the time, but it's fucking hilarious Oh possible. I just watched Jim Carrey on the and when he did Andy Kaufman. Yeah, it was fucking amazing Oh, that was that the documentary that that was yeah, that's praying sprang from that But I was watching the movie last night. I forget what it's called Something man on the moon. Yeah man on the moon. Yeah, what Jim's good. Oh, it's brilliant. You know, it's really interesting with him he's taken like a severe psychological and I guess philosophical turn where he's he's just thought about life and things so he must have had like some psychedelic experiences, too I think so sounds like it. Yeah, because he's just talking about like what matters and what doesn't matter and you know

28:29and there's a bunch of like interviews and Clips of him discussing things really like whoa like this guy does not he's not talking like Jim Carrey the world-famous A-list actor who's had gigantic smash movies. He's not talking like that at all. He's like talking like some guy who's just trying to sort of understand his place in the universe Yeah, yeah, he really is really profound way. It's very well thought out guy Did you watch this thing about him painting? No came out a couple months ago We didn't we play this where some of his paintings are really cool. They're like a neon and yeah He talks about he says some of the stuff that he's been thinking about and dealing with so it's called I need color and it's on Vimeo Yeah, so folks go check that out Yeah, did I tell you about the little part? I have in dying up here?

29:18No, okay, so I play fitzy Anderson because they wouldn't let me use fritzy Anderson remember fitzy Anderson No, it's just they go on hello. Oh your character. Yeah. Yeah, and they wouldn't let me It's parent. Why wouldn't they let you said fritzy was a slur for to Germans what yeah, I swear Jesus I know I So anyway, I go in the comedy store on a Thursday night while I was there just to practice I know like real I'm trying a couple lines and doing some shit and Jim's in the audience he comes out he hugs me anyway long story short He he was with his wife his ex-wife and they were their daughter was was ill and it's great girl She's a really good singer too by the way, but anyway, they start talking. He said how fucking funny dom was she goes He goes I want to put him in this show and Melissa goes well Tell you one thing. He's not gonna dance for you you want him

30:07I'll ask him but he ain't gonna audition because I'm not gonna make an audition. I've known him for fucking 30 years Anyway, that's how I got the part and that funny just randomly randomly he was he came in to look for young comedians I am NOT one of them If you could tell by my receding hairline, but yeah, I mean amazing I mean just there on a Thursday night randomly is that show still going on yeah, we're shooting They're shooting 10 more and I got a I know I'm doing an alcohol an alcoholic the whole time Which is I never watched it I watched one episode and I thought it was pretty good, but I heard that it was better Yeah, yeah, I heard that it was improving. Yeah, I heard well, you know All those things start yeah, do you remember Seinfeld beginning? I remember news radio the show I did yeah, it was clunky Yeah, it took a while to really get rolling yeah to get the rhythm what it is

30:56Yeah sitcoms are very difficult You know I mean one of the reasons why people like oh why are there any good sitcoms in the air? Well god damn You know it's hard to do well Well, this is a serious one like I'm kind of the comic relief on this because it's about like comedians But not like you know when we goof around hi. You always a frog and right not these you don't see hardly any of that You see them more like jealous of each other and yeah, they're showing the dark side of it The woman who plays the mitzi part is Melissa Leo She's a she won Academy Award for some boxing movie. I forget but she she's playing mitzi really serious and I don't want to say anything, you know because she's a great actress, but If I were asked to give one note, I would say they were mitzi really had a fun side to her Mitzi by the way for those of you don't know is was the owner is on the owner of the comedy store

31:47Paulie sure's mom She brought us two things one of them was awesome Just kidding. He's been on the show. Yeah, he's been on yeah. Yeah, I like Paulie. He's a sweet guy He's a good guy to be around like he gives people hugs and shit in like all of us. He's trying he's trying to grow up Yeah, well, he's he had a hard life. I mean you imagine being babysat by Sam Kennison No, I mean what in the fuck kind of crazy shit is that I guess Sam will didn't sleep with your mom Argus and Sam Kennison hanging on your house. Everybody's doing blow. Yeah, and you're going what buddy It's the wheat so He was gigantic at one point in time who Sam well Sam was for sure, but so was Paul Paulie. Yeah, Paulie was gigantic Was it the yeah the weasel? I mean when he was doing movies like in the army now with Andy dick remember that Jesus Christ It was huge. He had a three-picture deal

32:44And Encino man. That was another one biodome remember did biodome. Yeah with Stephen Baldwin. It was a good movie. I enjoyed it Don't look at me like that I hear some people talk about son-in-law all the time. Yeah, he's fucking funny. Those movies were fucking funny I don't know what he did wrong or where it went wrong or you know, sometimes like I think people just get bored They just want some new person right tell you who's hot right now is tiffany haddish. Oh, dude, dude I love that girl. I call you Jew dude I was trying to say she's Jewish by the way is she yeah, she's eat the opium Jewish no kidding. Yeah Tiffany hatches the person who told me about sickle cell anemia being related to Malaria that people who have a resistance to malaria Develop the trait for sickle cell anemia Wow, and that's where the origins of it are apparently that crazy It's primarily a Jewish and and a black

33:41Disease right more is it a Jewish disease as well Jews and blacks get it than any other Oh, that's interesting. I did not know that I thought it was just blacks I had a friend of mine who died from it. Really? Yeah, my friend Walter Yep um from back when I was fighting you I remember and I would love to see you fight Joe I was a different guy man. I was very intense. I wasn't about very funny. Did you ever think you'd be a comedian when you were in those days? No, I didn't think I was funny. I made people laugh But the people that I made laugh were all psychos They were all like guys that I was training and fighting with and I was just like I felt like We were all freaks, you know because we were martial artists that were traveling Literally all around the country and entering these full contact tournaments. You don't have any video. I have some video

34:30There's a video of me on YouTube knocking somebody out okay. Yeah, when I was 19 in Connecticut You think you could beat me in a fight? No, I couldn't I love you too much I just hold you well, you know what you do which is really interesting first guy that's strong you never me right there This is me in the blue and I kick that guy and launch That's all I have other video on my computer somewhere some like Uneventful round of some tag window tournament. There's a guy out there has got a couple of videos of me though And he and I have gone back and forth on what way were you that was 154 I when I was in Senior year in high school. I fought at 140 and I was too light. It was too hard for me. I was always dehydrating myself and I would uh like do things in the shower like jump up and down in the shower and shadow box in the shower with this The hot water on and try to sweat out weight

35:27I couldn't eat for like a whole day and then I would fight that day and it was terrible I did that for one year sounds horrible. My father was a professional boxer. Yeah, and he He was the bad thing about he was a 500 boxer. Oh, no box 500 in baseball You're the greatest player ever but boxing you you got to be like 800, you know at least Yeah, make a living when he won he would come home beaten up Yeah, that must be hard to see you see dad come home all fucked up Yeah I see people um that fight in the ufc and their kids come to hug them, you know in the cage And you know you see the terrified look in their children's face and they're looking the guy's eyes all fucked up and Yeah and cuts and It's a different group of different type of human being that does that I had so much fun though the time You invited me to the one in montreal where the guy who's the king of montreal was george st-pierre

36:23That was incredible. It was the loudest noise of cheers. I've ever heard. Yeah, they love him And the other one was when uh, we went to the the place that were those those guys who own the sacramento kings the The plate with a playboy club and you had a fights there. You know, I'm talking about that It's off the strip. Yes, then the palms palms. Yes, yes And one of the cool moments. I mean even though it's you realize how powerful and how real it is This kid got knocked out and I was sitting next to his mother and his wife Hmm and he wouldn't wake up for a couple minutes Then he finally got up But and then there was another kid who like was like in the cartoons He ran up the wall and I don't know how the fuck he did it And he just was a young black kid He ran up the wall and went upside down and then landed on his feet You know what I mean? Yeah, John Dodson is that pretty sure it was John

37:12He does that after fights. He runs up. Yeah, that's what it was after the fight. Yeah, he's a freak awesome athlete. Yeah Yeah, that's a Different kind of human being that does that. Oh, yeah, it's a it's to To be in that world. That's a that's a It's just an intense existence. That's unlike very many other in this in this world other than war You know war is probably the most intense existence guys who are warriors actual soldiers Other than that, I think MMA fighters and then obviously first responders firefighters the cops things on those Oh, man I was thinking about that with those fires this year. Oh god, my buddy's a firefighter. He was up there and He's in Simi Valley and they shipped him out with everybody else And he's tell me it was insane. He's like you you just you couldn't stop the fire

38:07It was just too big and then you know that thousands of firefighters and here's the other thing not just thousands of firefighters But prisoners really they had prisoners working the fire they could get out early maybe I don't think so I think they got paid and I don't think they got paid much I think they had paid like a dollar an hour like something fucked up and they're out there working on the fires I'll just pretend like I'm burned just run into the fire I got a fake ID. I'm going to Mexico Yeah, I'm pretty sure they did it I think that's one of the most fucked up things about prison is that they get them to work and they pay them like pennies I didn't know that I mean I know they get them to clean up Yeah, even if you have a DUI you can get that and that would even go into prison. Yeah I'm pretty sure yeah, you can you can work it off or pay it off

38:56Oh, really like clean the sides of roads a friend of mine did that instead of he didn't have the money How much is the money to pay DUI? Uh, I think it all comes around 10 10 grand yeah me with the lawyer and everything 10 grand at a dollar an hour is a long time Oh my god if they really pay you a dollar an hour. Yeah, I well, you know, I get that DUI. Yeah You're just you just uber it now most of the time, right? Yeah, I just drunk right now No, I look drunk That would be sad I I get nervous when I talk to you we've been friends for 30 years almost holy shit that crazy we've been friends for 25 years somewhere in the neighborhood of 25 years. That's a long time mr. I rare. Yeah, that's crazy then nuts. Do you think I'd have more material by now? You've already used it off. Hey, are you well, you're talking about filming something What do you mean are you talking about filming a special?

39:53You know what I did one last time I was on the show you told me I should do when I did it and I just didn't like it Oh, when did you do it? Not whatever the last time I was on the show it's like a year ago I would imagine a little more and then I waited about three months and I shot it and You just said not to release it. Yeah, what was wrong with it? Like what didn't feel good about it? I don't know. I just didn't my ass look fat I just didn't like it. I mean I did it didn't seem to have the energy. I thought I have Hmm, you know, huh? Huh, so it didn't feel to you like representative of a real set that you would have I got a right just a normal night at a club That's all I wanted did you feel pressure? Like because that's one of the things that I feel That I always battle when I do a special is that like here's the moment. It's now ready go

40:43And one of the best ways I found a combat as I do a bunch of shows. I do four shows see that's smart I did too. Yeah, two is tight. Yeah, and they were back to back. Yeah Sometimes people clam up. I've seen people do one and it becomes a disaster You could feel the tightness on stage because there's so much riding on it, right? It's just not just a regular show. There's no room really to fuck around You gotta have room to fuck around like part of what a live show is is it's flowing I mean, I would like to get myself in a club where I'm half Once like some if something's like worth talking about with an audience member or something that's really cool I would do it but just be a normal club set. That's right Right, right like a normal but very strong club set. Where did you film? The Laugh Factory in Vegas mmm Yeah, that's remember that's a you should do the Laugh Factory in Hollywood

41:34That's a comfortable club for you and they already set up for filming. Yeah, I know I could do it any night Yeah, maybe that's a good move. Well Jamie wanted to tape me like a couple weeks in a row doing like 40 minutes. Yeah, you know, you should that's a great place to do it Dom Because they they film you whether you like it or not there Yeah, well we talked about this. That's not a good sign But they do have the setup they they have the setup to film you Their Vegas room is nice. Is it? Yeah, well, you know, is that the trop? That's it. Well, here's the thing that's great about Vegas Joe is that you could do it I'm doing the the first week April I think the the trop, but then I'll do Brad Garrett's club, too Because they don't give a fuck it's Vegas, right? I guess I'm like Columbus, Ohio They have the same audience pretty much, you know

42:22But there they have the audience comes in from far away every week You know so you could play Vegas a lot That is true like that's one of the reasons why a residency works in Vegas. Yeah, it's always work anywhere else Yeah, have you ever thought about doing that a residency? I think well I I think I'd kill myself in Vegas just boozing and yeah hanging out and I get a rhino at three in the morning Fistfuls of dollars I go out with this girl And she's got really hot daughters, right? I mean she's hot the girl you're dating. Yeah, she's very hot, but she's always telling me how beautiful her daughters are I go look I know but I don't want to stop pimping off your daughters to me But I took I took him to see Tosh I was in the town for the Super Bowl and Daniel was at the Mirage and They got so I forget how big a deal it would be to a 16 year old boy to meet him and

43:15He was so he was so gracious with them, but it was I think I couldn't believe I free because this kid played John Lennon in love When he was a little kid so he's got he's been around theatrical people You know love that Beatles yeah That Beatles thing is fucking amazing good at the Mirage. Yeah, yeah Yeah, they start start that acapella because yeah, very cool. Well, I know you're a huge Beatles fan Yeah, you've always been a big Beatles fan. So I I took my family to see that about a month ago or so I went to see that Mirage Fuck it's incredible. It's such a show man and they're cool to see your kids kind of digging it. Yeah It's all those years ago and You know, I know so many little kids that like the Beatles. It's weird They're so good. They were so good and you and I think it's hard

44:02For someone today in 2018 with this vast variety of music that we have and so much good music over the history of music You know so much recording that it's hard to understand How in the 1960s how amazing the Beatles were yeah that out of nowhere this band out of Liverpool right comes out? And they just have this revolutionary music It's just so much of it is so different Yeah, it was very different and they were the ones they added orchestras and all this stuff You know, but it reminds me of the the thing we were talking about before of the sitcoms Mm-hmm They were given a chance to get better a lot of people today if they if they ever one with two bad records They're out yeah, and they got some other beautiful girl replacing them, you know, it's true You know, I there's it's the same way with fighters

44:52You know, I've had this conversation with my friend Brendan Schaub and I were talking about this the other day that guys Yeah Big brown guys get into the UFC too young and then they're fighting top flight competition like right away and it's either sink or swim Yeah Yeah, and some guys swim but some guys have real massive potential but really they should be fighting someone of a lower caliber and developing their skills and experiencing a bunch of different styles And then eventually working their way up to the UFC after you know five six years or so And instead they're fighting in the UFC at 20 years old and they're just not really ready for top flight competition Because in the UFC if you string together five six wins you're in title contention in some weight divisions Yeah, that'll discourage the shit out of you And you're getting fucked up by some guy who's just many many levels above you

45:36You really shouldn't be fighting him like the flyweight division is perfect example Because it's run by this guy Demetrius Mighty Mouse Johnson's probably best pound-for-pound fighter that's ever lived And you know if you string saying something man, he's fucking incredible and he's a wizard like he barely gets hit And you know and you we've seen him in the octagon develop and grow and become this guy and now Now he's just just uh, there's everybody and then there's Mighty Mouse Mighty Mouse just another level above everybody I never seen anybody as good as Mayweather to avoid punches. No one's better No, no one no one gets hit less. It's incredible. Yeah I mean guys 50 you know and obviously one of them was Conor McGregor which is kind of crazy But Conor hit him, you know, I mean Conor can crack But he just didn't had no business in the ring on honestly

46:22I mean we really didn't know if he had business in the ring until he fought him after the fact It's easy to say that yeah, but like he caught him with that uppercut in the first round. What if he wobbled him? What if he heard him? Oh anybody can get crazy Yeah, if if you get hit right anybody can get knocked out, but Mayweather has been hit right where he was hurt. I don't think Conor hurt him I think he just hit him good, but he's been hurt sugar Shane Mosley hurt him He's been hurt a couple of times in his career, but over the course of 50 professional fights where most of them are at world championship level, right? It's crazy remarkable. I was watching they had like a highlights of the MMA on On Fox today and ronda rousey when she got kicked in the face Oh, jesus. What a great kick that was holly home. Yeah, that was in australia. I remember being there for that

47:08Oh, that was in melbourne, right? I think it was in sydney. Oh, was it? Yeah, pretty sure sydney. That was crazy Might have been melbourne. You might be right Might be right. I think you're right now that I think about it. I think you're right Um, no, you're definitely right now that I know. Um, stop arguing with yourself. Sorry leave yourself alone. You're a good person trying to remember I love melbourne. Yeah. Oh, I love that great restaurant. Fuck. I was just gonna say that great coffee to donovan's they have everything Like their seafood's fantastic, but it's almost like, um An artsy sort of san francisco. Yeah, san francisco is the one I compare it to yeah, but it's got its own thing Yeah, melbourne's got its own thing fucking crowds are amazing. Oh, aren't they cool? I know so fun. Yeah, they're great up there I did a comedy store in sydney in between like bigger gigs that takes you know

47:54To make it worth it for them to bring you over there And I love it. Yeah, love the culture and the people I did that too Ari and I did the comedy store in sydney on a sunday night on a whim The fights took place early in the day so that it could be a ufc pay-per-view And so we called up the comedy store and said hey, can we do an impromptu show tonight? We just put it up on twitter and they said all right hold on. Let's call you right back. All right, we're doing it Let's do it. And so we put it on twitter and then ari and I went and did a show that night They came huh? Yeah, it was packed. Yeah, it was awesome You have a draw like you helped me get a draw in australia Isn't that amazing crazy? Yeah, I mean when I was you know When I started out left you on the tonight show that would be the first time whole all of america saw you yeah the whole world

48:38Not like this the whole world hears this yeah, this thing's got its own life I remember when just here working the wheel I was at your house one day when it was kind of like you had started But you said you feel forget what the exact word but baby a momentum Going when you felt you you knew something was something Incredible was going to happen with this show. Do you remember that? Well, you just had that you told me you have a feeling like you weren't bragging not at all But you're just like going with the energy of it, you know, well, I was I was saying that I felt like There's something going on. Yeah, like this show like it was just starting to pick up momentum then and I was like There's something going on here and then I was thinking about what the potential of this was and at the time when we first started

49:23There wasn't that many people listening to podcast. It was very small. Yeah, and we were also streaming live on you You stream and there's wasn't many people listening to that either or watching that But I was like but this keeps growing and I and I knew that I was very interested in doing it So I knew I was gonna get better at it and I was always trying to figure out what what ways I could do it better How to get out of my own way how to not talk over people knowing when to talk when not to talk I had to figure that out. It's tricky. It is tricky. It's tricky to You have to put yourself in the seat of the person that's listening And I think listening to podcasts helps that as well and listening to things that you don't enjoy So he's one of the things that stephen king always says about writing is that you should write but you should also read you shouldn't read a lot

50:12I think that's the case with podcast too. I think that's the case with stand-up as well I think listening to other stand-up is good as long as you're not Getting ideas from them, you know as long as you're just enjoying it like what the the good feeling that you get from watching stand-up watching someone kill You know, it's like I I get inspired by it and it makes me and then I see things maybe with their a little clunky in someone's act I'm like oh, they need to clean that up or tighten this up and it makes me more cognizant about those flaws in my own act and makes me more More self-aware. Yeah, I love to watch like say like Chris Rock when he does Something and then two weeks later it works. Yeah You know, he's got a germ or something there, but he's so good at putting it, you know setting it up to to be a potentially great bit, you know

50:59Well, he's one of the all-time greats for a reason and one of the reasons is he's a real craftsman He's a real artist, you know Chris will go in there and he will he's not Just trying to kill every time he goes on stage, you know He's he's trying to develop material and he's using that time And it's a very valuable thing for him, you know, well, I really believe that this generation is better than the generation I started with and only because They got to see them and grow from them. You know, I mean like you had to have somebody in the middle because I mean honestly, you know You and bill to me I take you and bill over prior and uh carlin that's sacrilege now I'm serious. I stand ups But you know and I'm not saying that because you're my friend and we're here I'm saying it because I seen these guys And I love I love them, you know

51:51I mean, I was like one of those kids that grew up watching him, but I think you just You know this your generation is taking it to a different level There's uh, there's definitely a benefit of being able to see the people before you for sure I've learned a lot watching other comedy work watching people just getting you know We were talking yesterday about richard jenny that um, I think brilliant writer. Oh, you're so good But one time I see a man with sandals. I think of him How you doing there spartacus something like that? Yeah, um he uh I was listening to one of his uh recordings on the way home a big steaming pile of me like, uh, I don't know It's at least a year ago. It's probably more But I remember like getting a noticeable bump in my writing after I listened to it because it was so inspiring And that I think that's a giant advantage that we have today

52:43With like youtube and itunes and things along those lines where you can listen to anything you want I can go back and I was listening to an old woody allen recording the other day Just in my car driving. I listen to woody allen do stand-up in the 1960s You could tell he was a fucking pervert even back then. Yeah, well, you know what there was a line There was a line in love There was a line in love and death. Remember love and death. Yes And diane keaton goes to this high priest and she steps on his beard and it's very funny scene And he says the most beautiful thing in the world is a 12 year old girl blonde hair preferably twins Right and this is all this perverted thing is yeah This happened 20 years 25 years before he got accused of anything Yeah, you know, but it was just interesting here because he did a couple he did it even in manhattan With hemingway

53:34Was a little bit a little bit twisted, you know I don't remember manhattan very much. Well, he falls in love and she falls in love with him She's like supposed to be 16 and he's oh jesus christ Yeah, well isn't that something that people tend to do they try to normalize Whatever fucked up perversion they have and they put it into art Like that was one of the things that they were accusing louis ck of with this movie that He released right before it came out that he was jerking off in front of a bunch of people He had this movie and part of the movie was just talking about how everyone's a pervert. We're all perverts I'll tell you something off the air Okay, we get off remind me to tell you I don't want to say I'll write it down off the air with dom arreira. That's your new show off the air with dom arreira all I do is burn people and Lose any contacts I've ever had

54:25Hey, is this thing on it's not good. Let me tell you a story I got a good one. Actually, the night that he went or the the day after when I went on stage I got I said I'm so excited. I got a part in a louis CK's new tv show should shoot in about 10 15 years And it took him a beat and then they got it I think he'll be back in a year well, you know what joe he has that advantage of he was the one that created the idea of selling your own Thing right yes, so he can do that. He doesn't need a producer for that. That's true. That's true Um, you'd have him on this show, right? I would 100% have him on yeah Um, I think he's a different person than when he did those things I think what those things that he did jerking off in front of a bunch of people is terrible And I think uh, he probably had an idea in his head of what those things were and of who he was and who he would be

55:17And I think a lot of your self definitions a lot of times Are based on this very limited idea of who you are very limited idea of who you're going to be And he's like wallowing in his own weirdness and just wants to jerk off in front of somebody You know, it's out of all the offenses of things you could do to someone. It's one of the least egregious Because he's not raping. He's not as long as he didn't lock the door. He's not. Yeah, he didn't lock the door He's not doing anything awful to someone He's just doing something weird in front of them. I think it's beautiful. Do you? No, I don't think it's beautiful. There's a lot of things that I think are beautiful I think it's ape-like. It's definitely ape-like. Well, it's it's human-like then I batted it out of the air Because an ape doesn't really care if you're jerking if you're watching when he's jerking off

56:02He could be he could be eating and jerking over at the same time banana in one hand banana in the other Get it. Hey, yeah, hey Yeah Out of all the things that he did and I think that his apology pretty was What's the way to look at it? Um, I think it was honest. I think it sort of Explained how his mind worked and why he did it in the first place. It's not it's obviously not something he's proud of It's obviously something he's disgusted by himself and you can't here's the thing you jerk off in front of someone 10 years ago How do you fix that? You don't do it again, and he hasn't done it again. Here's the thing No one's saying he's done anything in a long time like all the accusations were like I want to say they were from They're from years ago, right? What do you do like how do you fix that like so? Let's say

56:56You did jerk off in front of a few people dom like, you know, like I don't know what it came over in front of a blind lady Is that is that still count? It depends on how good her hearing is. Oh, you're And she's here here Yeah, you're right. She's like, what are you doing over there? Dom my bed Nothing Nothing And she has to guess it's all fucking guesswork What do you how do you fix that? Like what does a guy do to fix that? I mean, I think out of all the people like How the fuck would you rehabilitate harvey weinstein? How do you let harvey weinstein around a woman again? How do you how do you leave harvey weinstein in a hotel room? With a woman who comes in for a meeting or an office was the worst. He's the worst. He's the worst I don't think you rehabilitated him. How would you do? How do you how do you how do you fix that the only way cosby gets rehabilitated? Um, I mean not really rehabilitated

57:48But the only way he gets reintroduced into society is if everyone believes those girls are lying and that's never gonna happen It's impossible because everybody heard those stories a long time ago when I did star search In like 83 And he was the uh guest host and we were hearing shit about him on the set then really womanizing and stuff Yeah, I mean, of course not not as extreme as uh, drugging them right and raping them But like if you're a guy like louis ck, how do you? What do you do like what would he what could he have done? Before the story came out that he's doing that to girls. What what could he have done? To to make amends. I mean what could he have done? He said sorry to some of the people I don't know. Why are you looking at me like that? I don't i'm just trying to think I'm just trying you're my friend. I'm looking at you right there

58:36I'm just thinking like what would one do? I mean it seems like Let's I mean i'm not exonerating him right but it seems like All these years since then he hasn't done it again, right? So if he hasn't done it again, he must understand that there's something wrong with it. Yeah, some weird compulsion and It had to be a power thing because if anybody can get a hooker and do that, you know Well, here's the thing He's probably doing that too Yeah, I mean If he liked jerking off in front of people he might just like jerking off in front of all kinds of people He might have jerked off in front of hookers, too. I mean, I don't know But we know that he did it in front of women that really didn't want him to do that That's what I thought might be part of the kinkiness of yeah But there's some stories of him doing it in front of women. They thought it was hilarious

59:25He did it in front of some female comics and they thought it was hilarious How do you stay hard when they're laughing you got to be a real animal? It's better than better man than me dumb I did a line I don't know what you think of this line, but I what he Allen I said that mentioned on stage and these women started booing I said why you're booing and they said because of what he did and the daughter and all this I said look I don't know I said but the one thing you got to admit he he really must love her because it's not like she's hot You know, I know but that got a laugh When we get off stage, I'll tell you uh, what Tony Hinchcliffe's new bit I can't say it on stage But I'll tell you on stage when you tell me your thing on stage What? What? I Hinchcliffe has a new bit that's fucking ruthless and killed me and we came up with it in the car This weekend we're on a road trip

60:16And we were talking about something and he said it and I I fucking died I said you gotta say that on stage. He goes seriously I go you gotta say that on stage Yeah, he's funny I'll tell you He did it last night in the room fucking exploded you had to come back and do the show when I do it What show his show his show kill tony? I don't like to work monday nights. Oh, yeah, well you gotta have a schedule now No, you gotta see the family. Yeah, but I have a schedule now on monday sundays and mondays sunday Yeah, sundays and mondays is Extreme family time I just I don't do jack shit because you won't have these days and they grow up so fast not to get corny But it's true. Yeah, it's true. Um, i'm enjoying it. I'm I'm happier now than i've ever been in my life good. That's great to hear that. Yeah And i'm also I think i'm a nicer person now that i've ever been in my life way way nicer She's

61:05You have much to compare with He a little prick What do you think it just makes you uh, you know dave chapelle said this to me once and I think it was a really great quote He said not only has having children made me um Made me love someone more than I ever thought I could it's changed my capacity for love and that's cool Yeah, yeah, he's like my capacity for love is much greater That makes sense like you realize like A lot of our struggles and a lot of the shit that we we go through in this life A lot of it is about perspective and a lot of it is about who's around you and what kind of loving environment you're around and it's also having kids and not having the strain The financial strain the emotional strain and the ignorance strain that my parents had and their parents had like Ignorance is a big thing too like they didn't know how to raise kids back then of course They hit us they you know

62:02They yelled at us and they didn't know me my mom didn't hit me, but you know It was a common thing for people who had their kids I remember bruce willis said to me one time to be a name drummer He said that you know One of the things about having kids he goes His little girl I forget the middle middle one's name He said she would wake me up to walk her to the bathroom And and to her I wasn't a movie star. I wasn't any I was daddy Because she's afraid of the dark walking her in you know, yeah And he said that really made it humanized him and made him feel good because you know You know what it's like you get stroked all the time. It's like sometimes you just want to be normal Well, not only that when bruce willis was famous. There was way less famous people Because there was no famous internet personalities. There was no famous reality tv stars there was way less famous rappers and

62:52There was way less famous comedians think how few famous comedians there were Well, that's why we all like me and dice and guys that were on rodney specials. We were really fucking lucky Because we became instant draws I paid to see you after you uh, were on uh, rodney special Were you at nicks, right? Yeah, I went to see you at nicks and I went to see you two nights in a row because one night I thought you were supposed to there and either you missed your flight or something happened and dennis leary was there instead And I was like what the fuck and so we came back the next day and we saw you again But um, who were you with a girl that I was dating her name was stephanie She was uh, she's tell me what to do. She was older. Oh really? She was the dominant one. She was it was the first girl. She was 25. I was 21. She's sick She liked the dick though. Tell you that Woo like a little bit of the old

63:42Well, that was what was exciting about she's the first woman I dated like, you know, she was a woman Yeah, I dated girls before that that girl was a woman and you know, she's fucking smart too. I prefer girls who are a woman's age Yeah Yeah, she was um She was just intense she'd tell me what to do with stand-up too. She's can you stand up? Really? Yeah, it's kind of hilarious I saw that Seinfeld episode where the girl broke up with him because of his act Oh, really? No, no, no funny. She goes, uh, I don't think this is gonna work. He goes, why we're having a great time She says well Your act with the I ever notice and all she goes that's not my style of comedy goes You're breaking up with me because of my act goes yes, I am And that was the end of the foot. That's the end of the show. That's hilarious. Well, if you were a girl and you were a huge comedy fan

64:31I can imagine if you were a girl and you just you love chappelle and bill burr and dom herrera and Duncan trussell and joey diaz and all these great comedians and then You start dating a prop act Hey, right and he's the worst prop act. Yeah, it's like fucking stupid He's got a soundtrack. He has to play hit the music Drop down and comes up with an out. I said hit it It's terrible jokes and Sophie told me that she would she couldn't go out with me if she didn't like my act That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah, if you're a comedy fan, I mean if you're a music fan How the fuck would you date a guy who's got terrible songs? Yeah, how could you it would be bruff? You know if you're a Bad accountant, you know, but you're a great guy. You probably still get a date You know what if you're fucking Terrible to think that someone loves right well, it's so much more personal than than debits and credits

65:27You know, it's like yeah, your stand-up is you a reflection of you Generally, I mean if a good good stand-up is one of the most personal things I think music stand-up Maybe writing Writing's pretty personal. Yeah, yeah, but stand-up but really good stand-ups or reveal something of themselves You feel like you know them for sure you relate to them for sure. Yeah Yeah, it's um, I mean there's more famous stand-ups today. I was talking with uh, jeff wills from uh, Jeff and I were talking about the the number of guys today and gals That can sell out big-ass theaters And it's nuts He's like dude 20 years ago. There was nobody there was like a handful Everybody worked the clubs and there was a few george carlins out there. Yeah, you know a few chris rocks or You know whoever it was at the time that could sell out a theater

66:23And now like fucking everybody's selling out these theaters. It's crazy. They have the right social media Social media Um, but they still have to have an act because they'll sell out once maybe twice, but then then it's done That's what happened with a lot of those people from uh, that That stand-up competition show. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Um last comic stand yeah, they went around once then the ones that were good like alonzo boden eliza Yeah, eliza is probably the most successful out of that group. Yeah, she's done more. I think she's had more Um specials she'd she sells out everywhere. She does good size theaters. She's selling out She just sold out her whole tour. She probably has the most success. She works hard. She does work hard That girl kicks ass like she doesn't fuck around she told me something so funny when she was on my podcast

67:09And this when jamie still did it and she goes I have a great body, you know Just sweat sweatpants on it. I don't think well No, I don't know She show it for god's sakes wear a skirt. I don't know then she'd tell you you're some piece of shit for asking No, but I mean I don't know what to tell her like yeah Well, she's funny. She's she's a aggressive girl when she was on my podcast is the the fucking comments were hilarious Like men either love her or they fucking hate her Like I've heard the thumbs up the thumbs down versus eliza like on on the podcast the thumbs up versus thumbs down She got like one of the worst ratios of anyone that's ever been on the podcast. Really? Yeah, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed talking to her I like her. I'm not threatened by confident I would say cocky women doesn't threaten me

68:00Yeah, but for a lot because I'm not threatened by confident cocky men I'm around them all the time course Um, it doesn't bother me. I don't judge you by it. I maybe I feel like it's silly sometimes with some people Yeah Too confident too cocky or they're too dismissive of other people. I think it's silly But I don't get mad at it. I would have when I was younger. Yeah when I was younger someone that was like cocky or Overconfident or just you know, just I would just I'd feel threatened by it or be upset by it or I'd judge them You know in a weird way where I connect all my own shit to them Get upset at them. Yeah, I know what you mean I You know, I definitely I definitely have trouble with attitude I'm thinking you know lucky you are You know lucky we are to be in this yes out of your fucking mind. Yeah, it's like to work Well, one of the things about you, Tom

68:51You're always super supportive of young guys and you oh and girls too You've always been like real supportive Of uh, thanks comics, you know, I think you should be you know, I think so, too I've learned a lot of that from you. Oh cool, man. That's nice to say I was thinking about tiffany because tiffany means a lot to me, you know, I taught her at uh Comedy camp when she was a teenager and I've seen it really Yeah, I've seen it through a bunch of struggles, you know, it's crazy foster homes and she kept trying to keep her family together So I had her on a podcast and she said, you know She was back in the day. She goes I wanted to fuck you I said I said first of all tiffany if you like a goddaughter to me It never crossed my mind and it really didn't even though I think she's a beautiful girl And I said the second thing is I'd never take my pants in front of you

69:37I said no, I got this beautiful black girl going you call that a dick That's my biggest fear It's funny watching her blow up she's hilarious and she took to it like a duck to water Oh, man, like immediately got confidence. Oh, she's got massive confidence But immediately like like almost like she feels like that's where she was always meant to be Like she's just waiting for the bell to ring No, when she did colbert honest to god. I was sitting there crying I swear crying with happiness. Yeah That's awesome. No jealousy. I was better How'd she get on this show and I I love colbert? He doesn't even return my calls. I've got trump jokes, too That's all that show is these days, right? Well, I don't think it'd be on the airport for trump It would be on the air. I don't know Joe. They were dying. They were they were way behind

70:28Not like all about my nielsen ratings all of a sudden, but they were behind right away behind and then he went for it When he called the president's mouth Putin's cock holster I was like, holy shit. I can't believe he said that I didn't hear it. You didn't hear that? No, he went on this epic rant about trump and then uh, he said something about his mouth being putin's cock holster Wow, and I just and they beeped out cock obviously Yeah, it's pretty obvious what he said, but i'm sitting there going what is going on with late night tv? Yeah, well, you know kimball's been on a run lately of crying and yeah Crying He does he I think he breaks down like every night now It's good for ratings. It's really good for ratings. It's a good way to cut the commercial. He's a legitimately sensitive guy He's a very nice guy. I like Jimmy Kimmel is a very very good person

71:16Like he he's a genuine nice guy with a real heart and he really does care You know, I remember he cried after the vegas shooting. He's from vegas Did he cry recently was the school shooting? Yeah, yeah, but that was brutal The girl that I go out with was there that night and she was at the trop And then all the people came running down into the trop Oh, jesus So new year's eve i'm with the vegas shooting. Yeah, yeah And people they had to stay there for a couple hours They had everything under lockdown because they didn't know who had guns and who didn't they know if it was one person or 50 people, right? And she's there at she's at the trop and She got kind of traumatized by it. So new year's eve We're walking outside and all of a sudden she starts shaking And she was having an anxiety attack, you know about being in a crowd

72:00So I was just fucking her trying to make her laugh. I said no don't worry about it And then we're you know the fireworks. This is all I really care about is fireworks And you took that away from me because your selfish feelings, you know But I got her laughing anyway Oh the fucking The the volume of them It's just it seems like every couple months there's some new one remember when columbine we thought this is terrible Right, it won't happen again. Yeah, it's like there's so many now You know you get used to it, which is sad. Yeah, it's fucking crazy And I don't know what the answer is, you know, I don't know if it's a Tighter gun control I don't know if that would stop them because it would just make it more difficult to get guns But would that be enough? I mean, but we're not doing anything Well, interesting. We gotta try something. I don't know what to do

72:47I mean and there's also the number of people that are on psychiatric medication. It's fucking crazy Well, I think that for the m15s or whatever they are they should be sold They shouldn't be I mean, I You really need that to kill a pheasant? It's not a hunting gun really You know, the guy who designed them said he was made it for war Yeah, the real real guns for hunting are usually Usually bolt action rifles, which means You have a round you have usually two or three in the magazine You have a couple or one in the chamber you put it in there You lock it in place you clamp it down And uh, you fire a shot and then you have to bolt it again You have to use the the action again The shell pops out and another one goes in bolt that down and then you get another shot It's a very slow thing. Yeah, like it takes a modern day musket Whereas these ars you're like tack tack tack tack tack Oh, man

73:43Or with the bump stocks They apparently the president wants to ban bump stocks Well, the bump stock is oh, yeah It's a stock where um you pull back on it And apparently you push forward and pull back at the same time I might be fucking this up, but the thing is the stock Makes the the trigger go like that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that Where it's almost like an automatic weapon And the trump just decided to ban those and there's a lot of people that are up in arms about him banning those Like these the gun rights people don't want to lose anything. They don't want to lose any rights, right? They don't want to lose any Fucking crazy ass weapons They think that any slip Is uh is eventually going to lead to them getting their guns taken away I follow a bunch of nra people and gun people on twitter and instagram Nobody's gonna take their guns away

74:33They think they are they think they are I mean, I I agree with you. I don't think that's ever going to come to that but the idea that tighter regulation Um is bad. I don't think that's true. I think uh, I think first of all You should have to go through some sort of examination if you can go through exam You don't you can't drive a fucking car Unless you prove that you know how to operate a car like someone has to be there with you That's an expert It's a driving expert who watches you they watch make sure you know what to do What do you do here at this light? Do you know how to hit the brakes? Do you stop perfectly? Do you look left and right before you turn all that shit is super important if you want to drive? How the fuck is it not super important if you operate a goddamn firearm? I know I don't understand like the kid Who bought the I think the kid who did the latest shooting in florida? Mm-hmm

75:23I think it was if I'm putting two stories together. I don't know But apparently he was underage and had fake id and still was able to buy it I don't know. I didn't read that story. Maybe you know, I avoided the story I saw the kids face and I saw the it's it's fucking insane And you hear all the stories about kids that were saying that they knew that this kid was going to be a school shooter anyway Wow, they they were saying in in the past that and then one of the things he wrote He wrote it on facebook or something that he wants to be a professional school shooter And then two years later and he got visited by the fbi The fbi actually checked this fucking kid out talked to him about it decided he wasn't a threat How do you decide someone's a threat or not a threat? Well, if you're talking to them, they're a threat I mean maybe I can't talk to everybody

76:07But I I would I would be suspicious of anyone that it took that much energy to go find him How did they find him? Why would they why would they even question him? Yeah? Um, I think people were saying that he's a fucking psychopath Yeah It hurts It's just sad It's just fucking sad that it's sad that anyone could do that It's sad that anyone would be hurting and so fucked up that you could take a child imagine you have a kid, right? You got a little domerera little tiny baby, and he's just a cute little fella little tiny baby They don't know anything they tickle them and then From there one day that becomes a school a school shooter. No, my god. That's what people have to take into consideration This boy this 19 year old boy who did that was a baby at one point in time. He's a failed A failed process a failed product whether it's um through his environment

77:01His family his dna all the above his life experiences all the pain the trauma Mental illness all these various factors, but that used to be a baby probably the cutest little fucker probably hold them and cuddle them you'd go to sleep in your arms and One of the things that's changed with me Since uh, and it changes a little bit every day. I feel like every day. I just get a little bit more Compassionate and more understanding and I'm I work towards it. It's something I really think about But having children I I think of people As they used to be a child used to be a baby. I think of that with the homeless people Yeah, see them lying there under all those blankets and stuff You think this was born this person was born to somebody Yeah, I was thinking that the other day. I was a coffee bean and um, I knew a homeless guy was there from the smell

77:52I was pouring cream into my coffee. I wouldn't have smelled them joe You wouldn't have right you were just talking about this before the podcast your sense of smells no good So good um, anyway The guy smelled so bad that um, he was dressed fairly normal. He wasn't disgustingly dressed I had a look at him to make just to recognize like oh this guy's homeless Right, I looked over he just fucking stunk. It was rough. I mean, he just stunk and I looked over the guy sitting there with his head in his hands like this like Like he's probably just full of you know terrible Anxiety or thoughts or depression or whatever it was But I was thinking everyone pouring cream my coffee was like that was someone's little boy Yep, that was someone's little boy. And now here he is. He looks like he's in his 60s and he's all fucked up and Smells like shit. He's sitting there this

78:43Coffee bean and he's sitting by himself with his head in his hands and everyone's avoiding him I'm just moving around him and yeah If you think of life like that you think of people like that it's easier to be humanized. Yes I like we were talking about louie and not to knock louie again, but this kid I was I was working the brokerage And I in long island and he comes in with his mom to see me And he said I don't think what louie do is that bad. He didn't rape her or anything I said well, what about if he did it to your sister? He goes I'd fucking kill him I said well that should tell you something Yeah, well you shouldn't kill him for that, but You know if it bothers you enough, you know, that's somebody else's sister, you know And you know louie apologized and i'm not trying to To jump on him again, but I mean you got to know how you'd feel about it when it was personal. Yeah

79:32Well the louie one's so weird Well, that it's very weird. Yeah, so weirdest whenever it's not like you're with someone and you're making out and You pull your dick out and yeah She grabs it and stop it. I'm getting hard over here I mean this is this is not Not in the act of intimacy It's just touching there's not not even verbal abuse You only touch yourself Maybe it was oral abuse like as in sound like maybe you wait made weird noises You make that face too Are we on camera I wonder how many people make a rick flair when they come What's that you know when rick flair whoo Do you remember rick flair no you're talking to the rolex wearing diamond ring wearing jet flying Limousine riding he's a fighter. No, he's a pro wrestler. Oh, that's that's what I meant. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, it's fucking just he is uh He's an american iconic character not just a pro wrestler like an american eye contact icon

80:45But to this day, I'll talk about rick flair on stage and point the microphone the audience and the audience just goes There he is right there nature boy rick flair I don't remember him who is the guy that muhammad ali modeled his was it gorgeous george? He modeled his He was talking Yeah, he gave it credit to this guy that's professional wrestling. Oh, no kidding That's interesting. I think it was gorgeous george could be there was a lot of those guys back then Yeah, remember you remember killer kowalski. Yeah, remember him. Yeah, the claw grab your head Remember who was the one the cocoa butt? uh, bobo bo bo brazil Bo bo brazil did the coke and there was bruno sammartino Martino interesting he was he was a world champion how muhammad ali's fascination with pro wrestling fueled his career inspired mma interesting gorgeous george That's crazy. You're gorgeous george. Yeah Wow, interesting

81:42What's a stupid ad you have to watch for the olympics there? Boy, I'm this olympics is I think I'm gonna say this. I think the olympics Are gross. This is why I think the olympics are gross. I think it's a great opportunity for all those athletes I think it's great for people to watch it But I think it is a fucking disgusting money grab and all those amateur air quotes athletes don't get paid shit I know and these companies are making billions and billions of dollars off of them And I really wish they would all quit. I really wish they would say fuck you pay me I really wish they would just go straight ray liota You pay me They give up their their youth for that not only that the fucking companies They're so restrictive they're the IOC and all the people that are behind it are so restrictive and they are making ungodly sums of money

82:31ungodly contracts they're just giant contracts to air the the olympics giant amounts of money to build these stadiums and set up these are these events and Everything is about Nationalism and national pride whether it's in korea or russia or wherever the fuck they do them But meanwhile the athletes don't get dick they don't get dick if you're lucky and you're michael phelps you become famous out of it and you get a bunch of uh commercials and endorsements and you make a shitload of money that way, but how many michael phelps is are there? There's a three or four I mean how many but how many in the all the all the olympics and out of all the olympics Jamie you're a sports fan out of all the olympics Say like the olympics this year. Well, let's go the last one who the fuck came out of it?

83:14Were there a household name? Oh, yeah, right now you've got sean white and maybe okay. I heard of that guy the girl that won uh kim is their last name Who's the one that won the bronze last night or two nights before the real famous? There's lindsey vaughn. She's very famous. She's very famous. She she used to date tiger woods That made her famous too. Plus she's hot that makes her famous There's been others like peekaboo street. She had interesting names. So like yeah, she's a gold medal winner. I believe how many other ones are there? There's a few I mean it's just like a handful they can build a story around someone and they can sell a story but but when you get to the point where it's worthwhile To sacrifice your entire life and it actually pays off. What are the what are the odds? It's so fucking small, but meanwhile

83:57People are tuning in to all of it. They're making massive amounts of revenue from all of it And they're not sharing it with the athletes at all. I think it's fucking gross. They pretend it's amateur. They pretend it's an amateur It's a goddamn motherfucking business. That's the Olympics are well There's only a business too You can But I mean basketball and football really NCAA says student athletes shouldn't be paid because the 13th amendment allows unpaid prison labor What the fuck? Oh, that's Sean King No, this is breaking off. This is uh, there's a find me another article Well, this was the main one going around, but there's a Uh, that's crazy. Did you really say that did they really say that the 13th amendment which allows unpaid prison labor? They cited in a lawsuit Response to a motion to dismiss and that's what they use is that's so disgusting They're so disgusting. They're the same to me

84:49NCAA the college football and basketball same thing to me They have a hundred thousand people. Yeah, fuck you pay those guys pay them pay those girls pay all those athletes You're making money. You're making money and you're not sharing it with the athletes. They might as well be slaves They might as well be fucking prisoners The Olympics NCAA all that shit, it's just there's no way There's no way you could do that fresh today if you started from scratch today No way and said we're gonna get make billions of dollars and we're gonna give you umgats umgats You're so cool There's no way you can never do it I'm gonna give you an education Imagine if they did that with the olympics today. They said look we're gonna spend billions of dollars and the athletes What are they gonna pay? Oh, we're not gonna pay them shit. They don't get anything You're making money. You're fucked. You're out

85:37It used to be that if you made money you're out But now they let basketball players play in the olympics. They like the nba players Because I think it was russia was was getting close and beat and they beat us once In 72 I think oh is that what it was? Uh, they started thinking about it then when they we got They were catching up the european players were catching up They go fuck this. We're gonna send over our brothers nbc sports is about to make 1.4 billion dollars in 22 days Thanks to the super bowl and the winter olympics. Okay, the super bowl at least is professional athletes. I get paid They get paid whether they get paid enough is up for debate. I get that but The olympics they're not getting paid dick and it's fucking gross and it makes me angry And it's one of the reasons why I don't watch the olympics. I get mad at it You know, I wanted to be in the olympics at one point in time to fight

86:29I wanted to be in when taekwondo was being introduced the olympics in 1988 I tried out for the national team. I got it to like the quarterfinals in miami I won three fights and it was um That was the last like my my last uh My really last fascination with taekwondo. I'd kind of given up on taekwondo really before it I'd started kickboxing already and I'd realized the limitations of taekwondo. What is that? The hands Punching to the face taekwondo you don't punch the face you punch the body and you kick to the face and kick to the body Which is that yeah, it's a very different thing because it's so easy to punch someone in the face comparatively And so hard to kick someone in the face So the the dexterity of the legs like for people that know how to kick It's just it's just you develop much more leg dexterity and you get way better at kicking and moving your legs

87:23But as soon as you fight a good boxer you realize how poor the like the balance is between your hands and your feet And I had to really develop my hand techniques and so I was Really concentrating on boxing at that point in my life like really learning how to box and learning how to punch correctly and learning how to put Kicks together with punches because you just there's a bunch of stuff that you can get away with if someone's not punching you in the face That you can't get away with as soon as they start doing it and I was already kind of disillusioned because I was learning I was just learning that it was very flawed and then I started doing muay thai with leg kicks And I realized like well, jesus christ like as soon as you kick the legs like this most of this shits out the window Right the changes what's a bill what what you can and can't get away with

88:07What do you think is the most lethal martial arts the best martial art to learn for someone for self-defense? Or even fighting them for beating them in the fight It's hard to beat wrestling because wrestling you dictate whether or not the fight stays up or goes to the ground, right? where wrestling is like in my opinion the best base, but once you Once you've passed that then it's about submissions So it's wrestling and then submissions because if a guy has wrestling He can take you to the ground and punch you in the face stuff like that But if the guy on the bottom is good at jujitsu, he might still be able to submit you like the early UFC days Hoist Gracie submitted much larger people like Dan Severin off of his back and Dan Severin was a real world-class wrestler at the time and hoist submitted him off his back with uh, jujitsu because he didn't know jujitsu Wow

88:53So I think wrestling the ability to take someone down is probably number one, but jujitsu is a very close second Because the problem with jujitsu is if a guy knows how to wrestle really good and he can keep you standing up If he's better at punching and kicking he could fuck you up standing up And you'll never get the fight to the ground to use your jujitsu Wow Because his wrestling could also keep the fight standing the wrestling dictates where the fight takes place That to me is like the most critical thing like you have if you're a wrestler you have the ability to take someone down You have the ability to stand up and you have the ability to keep someone from taking you down Those are those are giant like that to be able to choose where the fight takes place is giant That's cool, but when I was doing taekwondo there was really no MMA no one had ever even invented it

89:35Like I stopped fighting in 88. I think 88 or 89. I'm not exactly sure. I was doing comedy at the time, too When did I when did you say we met we met in 93? I think or 92 might have been 92 So I was I was probably with Kim at the time. Yes. Yeah, yeah Yeah, um Yeah, I was done fighting then I was done, but I was still thinking about it. I was still thinking about it for years You know if everything went wrong comedy fell apart for me. Maybe I'd take a fight You know when did you know that the comedy wasn't gonna fall apart? A couple weeks ago Two weeks It's looking good. I was driving one of my four four cars. I was driving my one car over to the other car I'm like, it might work out sell all this and just live modestly Yeah, I don't know man, uh, I guess Really, I really really didn't think it was gonna work out until I was on tv, you know Then I was like hey, this might be all right. Yeah

90:35But I that's a good thing though. The not knowing if it's gonna work out is what keeps you hungry I think the worst thing in life could ever happen is you get an inheritance Kind of takes the incentive away, huh? Just why yeah, you're not scared if you're not scared about the future You're not scared about what the fuck's gonna happen You you have to that feeling of not knowing is awesome I mean that that feeling creates Movement and anxiety and energy like some of my best sets i've ever had My the biggest jumps i've ever had in my life in my career have been after i'd had terrible sets And some of my best moments in life as a person have been after I felt terrible Like after I just I Fucked something up or I did something stupid and I'm just like, how could I do that? Like what the fuck is wrong with me? And then you feel like shit for a few days

91:22And then you emerge out of it like a phoenix from the ashes and you feel you're a better person because of that bad feeling Like those bad moments like don't just drown them out don't take pills don't don't just drown them out Sometimes those bad moments are an incentive for you to move forward and progress I remember when I did the tonight show the first time it was not fun because it was like the imprimatur It was like was it johnny? Yeah, and it was like What was that like? It was terrifying I wanted to run into the woods And in in burbank burbank and start a new life I swear to god, I just I was so fucking small patch of woods. I was scared. Yeah, I know But uh, you know what I did joe after this after my set What I went and did a set at the comedy store. Oh, wow. Yeah, I just wanted to see the juxtaposition of the two and must have felt good

92:15Oh, it felt great just to be back on my turf, you know, because that wasn't my turf They said teddy bergeron did that. Do you remember teddy bergeron set at the comedy store? Let me tell you this folks. I don't know if I've said this before I probably have some repetitive fuckhead But teddy bergeron at one point time was one of the greatest comics that ever lived He was fucking incredible and he did a tonight show set And he we got on the piano and he was like singing on the piano and talking on the piano and it was magical Magical and they said he went to the comedy store that night got fucked out of his head Stumbling into the streets and just out of his mind just had a problem with substances Yeah, I know I remember him he being so drunk That we were at a club in long island and he sat on the edge of the stage and started crying

92:59And the audience thought that he was fucking around so they all started laughing Oh my god. Yeah, can you imagine? That's hilarious. And by the way his first set on the tonight show This is what I was told He did so much overtime that they had to bump somebody and that's why he went to the couch Wasn't he went to the couch because it was so great it was and he never did the show again As far as I know, but I think he never did the show again because he fucked something up I think he got drunk nobody But he did he did way too much time is that what it is Yeah, yeah, but they loved him like Johnny was loving him like how could he not? Johnny was very supportive of mostly everybody, you know, so he was I mean He was the greatest didn't howard stern hate johnny carson though. Did he really? I think he did I think he hated him like I remember him talking about johnny carson being a terrible person

93:44piece of shit Yeah, i'm pretty sure. I hope i'm not wrong with that The most nervous I ever got ever for doing anything was doing stern Oh, yeah, I was terrified because you wanted to see was uh an idol of mine. I mean for me He was um, he was my generations johnny carson. Yeah, because I didn't give a fuck about being on the tonight show To me. I was I was a dirty comic. I cared about I never thought I'd be on a show Yeah, I like I like guys like hicks and Kinnison and dice and and then prior and like that's not That tonight show stuff was great. I enjoyed watching like jenny on or you on or someone who's that who could do that Style and do it really well that style is really hard for me. I'd rather do improv But you used to do it. Well, you were great on those shows. I tried but you know But it's not you like at the comedy store killing no, it's a different thing It's a different thing

94:37I just was never attracted to it just to me the five minutes the censorship the the all this stuff is just like It it didn't mean anything to me I always think the coolest thing about your career is you did what you wanted to do I mean you did you basically you did a sitcom you did like look look at the career you have now I mean, it's like it's your it's only you in that lane You know what I mean? It's bizarre. I don't know that you do this announcing jobs and it's like you could be just that and you're already a success You got stand up you got anything you want, you know Well, yeah, it's just like you said. It's just things I enjoy I got I'm lucky that there's things that I enjoy that are jobs Yeah, they're lucrative. It's it's always a good thing, but the night before I did stern for the first time I was shit in my pants

95:25I never never thought that nervous as fuck because it was to me it was like I can't even believe I'm really gonna do a show Yeah, like to me like if they told me I was gonna do tonight's show like all right, I'll do it Like I mean, I would have been nervous. I would have been would you do it now? No No, I don't want to I was All you could do is lose it's better I mean you could win you could have a good set and no I'm and everything that but you're expected to have a good set You know well, it's just I talk too much I talked too much already. I talked too much so far. I want to go. Let's go play pool. Let's wrap this fucker up You wanna Dominic? Let's do it. Let's I'll shoot a couple games. All right, let's let's wrap this up and go play pool Well, thanks for having me on anytime my brother anytime. Where can people see you? You got some dates coming up next week?

96:11I'm at the black box and Boca Raton and then the following week. I'm at Vinnie Brands Club Stress Factory. Oh in New Jersey awesome club and then The improv at Vegas in the first week of April and all of a sudden your website? I don't know Who maintains your website some guy who's a fan of mine from He's a great guy this guy David. Hey Dave tell us Is it domerrera.com? Yeah, I think so. Do you have a calendar up there? How the fuck do people find out where your gigs are? I try to keep a secret. I don't want to be bothered by crowds Dominic Artiello ladies and gentlemen, we're gonna go play some pool Love you brother. Love you too