Joey Diaz & Tom Segura

00:03- five four three three - yeah with live ladies and gentlemen thousand episodes Tom Segura Joey Diaz we're delayed in starting ladies and gentlemen we did not have a lighter that was a real panic setting that's embarrassing yeah I thought I thought some was really gonna go down but thank God I am petrified of earthquakes and situations I don't put slippers on I sleep with sneakers on store water water tools yeah I got two weapons in an ar-15 you've been out here for an earthquake one of them that didn't scare me yeah but I was just sitting by the computer knows looking at the cat bowls yeah yeah you get on I was gonna cats I was one of the cat bowls and all son the whole building tip I saw the cat balls up in the air spinning and the cats running for their lives they acted they were acting we have a couple seconds before that and that's why I go why they so up oh they were acting weird

01:11before the earth they say yeah that they're doing that awesome dog I just saw the cat balls it's like a cartoon up in the air spinning the earthquake and the whole building shifted I heard the bricks the whole thing I thought about it being at night sleep apnea you gotta have a conveyor well that and they suck they sound like for 600 you get one with everything lights an iron it cleans your water the scariest when you you panic about what earthquakes are likely if you before you move here you know and then you I remember the first week I was here I was in an apartment in Sherman Oaks and I was standing at the kitchen counter of this person's apartment on their laptop doing like sending an email and I felt a little and I go in my head I go I ask the subway and I kept typing and then he could you feel that and I was like yeah he's like crazy right that's the earth shake underneath your

02:10feet and I was like oh it's like a panic sets in you're like oh my god I've actually experienced the earth moving now and then the next step is like when you are you don't you like if you're asleep and then you hear like you feel the dresser but you hear the dresser you know or or something that's hanging on your wall bumping you know what the going on takes you that extra beat to figure out they were going through an earthquake that extra B is it's obvious you've been through nothing big but like fives 5.5 s a couple of years the first one I was in was an aftershock of the Northridge earthquake I was staying in North Hollywood and I was in this shitty apartment it was made out of like the same boxes that they used like the ship refrigerators and like literally the walls when the earthquake hit the walls are swelling this I mean like the whole thing was

02:56just like a giant was pushing on the scariest right yeah well it's humbling yeah cuz you realize like this is nothing this isn't it turning up the street this isn't knocking over any houses imagine what it felt like when that big one hit and it hit for 30 seconds yeah 30 30 seconds is so long to feel the ground moving that's why those people moved to Boulder well that's what I was just gonna say that when you had that experience there's some people that because for a few days after the Northridge there was aftershocks yeah and there's people that one day look at that kids and go I'm not going through this again you're working we'll yeah working will Shire yeah big building what if Thousand Oaks yeah so a lot of people just a bad that's what everybody's waiting for an earthquake here because then people leave when they sell their houses for dirt cheap what

03:49the world does happen we're out we're gone they don't ever want to experience it again but then I see a guy like my uncle's lived here since 55 and I've asked him will you know you feel but dude when I first moved here before I first moved here I was out here for meetings and I went by a section of the highway I think it was the ten that had collapsed and they were moving cars around it yeah and as we're is this what happened what is this an apartment building that collapsed I just North Quay oh this is the Northridge one yeah dude that was a serious earthquake man yeah like and when I was driving by this one section of the highway it collapsed on the lower section and I remember thinking that's just luck like this right here yeah yeah like you could be there and that is just lot is really blam that thing lands on you and that's how you go that's I'm sorry I am a

04:43hard-working individual I really try to do anything I could to help myself but when people call me well tell me they want me to go to a meeting and Santa Monica after like three unless I'm picking up an envelope I tell him well that kids won the Oscar from Modern Family and he said I was always the guy that went to Ocean Avenue at five for those auditions yeah you deserve an Oscar because you gotta wait on that ramp in the middle of that yeah your mind starts playing I'm telling you I've been stuck on that ramp and I'm gone never again oh man I want to go through this ramp I don't ever want to be in the middle of that ramp that's not good not good your mind starts playing with you and you remember that those images and you go that okay let me pull let's plan this right now if the hits the fan this thing shakes to the ground yeah where are we going cuz listen one of the main reasons why I

05:44like being in LA is because I like you guys yes what we're gonna all go like I like for real like a hundred percent like that that was the thing that bothered me the most about Colorado I there was a lot of nice people out there but I didn't know you you guys weren't out there alone it's a lot I see when we work together on the but there's something fun about running in you guys all the time yeah like it makes life better we do sense a store a factory and wherever we're at it's more fun it makes life more fun I would do this podcast a hundred percent how do you move to Colorado yeah that's what I'm talking about that state that's what we do there goes the right way you gotta remember guys it's not our decision in that it could be you call mrs. Rogan sit you down and go that's it I'm not living yes again yeah yeah that's what that's how and I'm in fact I packed the bags

06:35without you I'm go to a hotel like what effects that way but they don't like this ends right today yeah with that with that earthquake yeah if you feel it if you feel that the ones that take down highways if you feel that you like oh my god again this is not even a really big one yeah really big ones change the shape of continents true I mean that's the real fear the real fear is there's a giant one like a ten or an eleven part of you by the way always feels kind of crazy like when I was growing up and Florida up with hurricanes that like after a hurricane you're like are we staying yeah yeah but there's something about a hurricane like for whatever reason I feel like if you're just in the basement the top blows off the thing and you just strap you're sometimes like a wild ride at Disneyland but but now they give you these warnings they're like you're definitely gonna die and people

07:31still are like bucket yeah for sure my friend's mom his mom is like 70 something years old and this big one was coming they're like this time we're not around this is a category five this is going to absolutely devastate this area and she was like absolutely not I've been here 40 some years nothing ever happens and he begged her and she was like no and it's like you know those are always those reports are always rolling the dice cuz they they'll say it's gonna be this bad and then it'll you know it'll turn or tool and different yeah and it turned into like a tropical storm she was like see but she was like the only person that stayed like everybody else we would always bail I don't know if you were ever there for hurricane no but like we would always book it man as soon as they were like this thing is gonna land we're like no there's no way and the even

08:20driving in those tropical storms was unreal men like you can't see an inch in front of the car it's like you're driving through a carwash we had a stop once were you with me when Eddie did that seminar in Miami well we were working at West Palm did you go down with us no we went wee Eddie's doing a seminar in West Palm or in Miami we have in West Palm it's like a half hour way so we left to go to the seminar and we were stopped dead on the highway you could not see an inch in front of the windshield it's amazing it was crazy it lasted for about 15 minutes but it was just the time there all the time we don't even know what rain is no we don't even know and I never knew growing up like in Boston growing up growing up in Boston I never saw that yeah we saw it rain we never saw that I got some next-level I haven't really seen it duplicated since leaving the crowd as a

09:17child I saw one bad rainstorm in Jersey where the clouds got dark yeah it started hailing have you ever lived through Hamlin yeah oh that's Jesse videos of what people's cars are just going to surround it yeah and there's one dude one guy had a film of a lake they were watching it and it slowly ramps up it's like one yeah one two and he's like whoa look at the size of this hail and then all suddenly it's fun it's literally being attacked with rocks from space look at this yeah there's a gang of these man but like look at this one it people's toys destroys power that was happening dude a thousand roofers moved to Colorado because there's work for two years yeah you get Kansas Christ yeah look at it's getting worse this is insane dude you get K owed okay especially if you're like a little kid Oh actually being a five-year-old out in this you know pummeled to death

10:20has anybody ever died from hail perhaps has to heaven seems like it the first week I'm segura the first week I moved to LA on a Monday and that Friday was the North Hollywood shootout I was living with staying home yeah I went to find the job that Friday yeah there was a bunch of traffic and they were like that is North Hollywood shoot that that shootout changed policing nationwide you know that that incident changed the way they viewed having weapons changed their training they've never even competent like contemplated that people have robbed a bank with like fully automatic your shoes see coming out with the body armor talking boy ms2 was laying by a car after he was hit - shooting up at helicopters and that was crazy man I remember that national news that was just like a big you couldn't get on the 101 now you I was in the news radio break room we were we were getting ready to film a

11:25scene and we were watching it me and kandi Alexander huddled up together going what the everybody came in guys get in here get in here but we're all in there watching like what in the and it changed the way they what kind of tactics they use and the equipment they give police absolutely like they had 38 SPAC then they still reference it all the time yeah I did a ride-along two months ago with the Hollywood division dude and I was a guy was still talking about it's like we have this because of this shootout and you know that's a lot of people say oh man the militarization of the police man this is what and there's a lot of it that's not good you give to people too much power it's not good yeah but if some happens like that they need that otherwise they're sitting ducks yeah you know kind of weapons you get on the streets right now Oh crazy a firepower you get on the

12:17streets from a ar-15 you get some wild out of the straw all you have to do is this number it's real quick mathematics for anybody's interested there's 350 million people somewhere around this country there's more guns and there are people and they're still making guns every day they make guns there's a gun making industry it's gigantic yeah they're making all kinds of guns all over the country right every year like every other make more high-tech they're not getting rid of any guns no no all those guns for toys Oh give back your gun and you'll get a toy okay lose yourself someone's a factory going on right now they're cranking out a are some rusty old 22 handball court you get anything except like hunting rifle I can't believe they're playing handball still that's dedicated to handball who's like I'm gonna be the better prison so when you get and disability you play handball then

13:09it's a cover for you that you're half a moment when you play hammer so guns that kill you'll get a gun at a handball court for $50 that shot three people that gun has a Miss a shot him so a committed suicide long range with those guys they got guns that don't miss on the web handball courts did you play you play handball in prison asia i played handball like the first two weeks and it just wasn't for me you ran in colorado in because there was a few guys in the bronx yeah so when I went to Summit County cuz I was arrested in Boulder but once you start your state sentence they were gonna send me to the Missouri of Texas I ended up going to Summit County Summit County is like we don't really have boys yeah oh no you just do what you want here yeah at night at 10 o'clock the guard would go to Pathmark that Pathmark like a supermarket yeah and get his chips and soda what it was

14:05like a daycare Wow get along Pete everyone got along pretty well yeah yeah yeah I'm not what a dude from the Bronx that played handball we became friends together he had been on the run for 12 years but this guy was brilliant he was brilliant like this he had done he had driven the cops we're like what's that movie Lee allowed to Caprio catch me if you can that he was that good right and the final thing he did for them was they caught him he set him up on the drugs thing like I read the paperwork it was brilliant he sent him up on the drug drugs then he said I know why he'd go by 10 kilos of coke the cops actually gave $250,000 cash to buy the ten kilos of coke he set it up with his friend to have a car behind the house the car was empty the house was empty there was no cops never even did a background check to see who lived in the house Jesus the house

14:56is empty he went through the front and 1/2 the back and disappeared travel for ten years and he came back to the states because his dad died they arrested why years ago he went for like Aruba and just played shuffleboard handball that's a dark world the world of the expat no South American tourist communities yeah that's like that sizable too right sighs yeah all over Mexico there's a lot of people in Brazil I have friends in South America that's dad was a island hopping all throughout his adolescence just to avoid taxes just to avoid taxes Wow and then the crazy thing to me is that is that they came here like they came back eventually and like so is he in trouble he's like no how is he not in trouble he's like I don't know aren't they gonna catch him he's like what do you mean man like he's here now like is a whole new identity no okay don't worry busy busy pay taxes he says he know and

15:57he's like oh he doesn't she still doesn't but and then my friend was still like you know you don't have to pay taxes yeah I know he goes he goes google it yeah you have to pay taxes that's your thing like just look it up man goddammit pay your taxes of course it doesn't matter if you pay them see if you owe money to say like Exxon you know whatever they'll sue you you have to pay the money and pay the money but if the IRS if you owe money to the IRS they put you in a cage for sure guard 'less of if you pay whoa whoa whoa let's say even if you don't even if you agree to pay it yeah yeah you're gonna go in cage first yeah no you pay well a company money they file a judgment against you and they sell the paper and then you can called a comedy clubs like I used to you know when I first started calmly I owed so much money did you really I go to a comedy club the manager

16:50who just got a call just got to recall and I go holy it's HBO really mine that would go to HBO oh Gojo it's the same guy and I'd pick up the phone Joey a Discover Card we never got that payment why he figured out they have tremendous scams two people looking for you yeah they have a computer that they'll go on to see what other numbers that usually call you and now get that number when they call you that number will come up over your caller ID they do some illegal mmm when they're looking for you but when you get a judgment from Exxon seven years you don't pay it it goes away government that judgment never goes away that and the student alone these that tell student loans to suck their dick oh yeah student loans even more intense oh yeah yeah well you know that's all the government as well that's right the thing about student loans is it doesn't get erased when you go to bankruptcy

17:50yeah it doesn't file for bankruptcy anything else is gone you know yeah I pay the student loan I thought it was cute I took the last one out the 2625 the minimum you I've known a couple of people they showed up about three years ago dog with a big ol number I had to get an attorney gonna go she ate it down and get off it oh the IRS I didn't pay taxes from ninety after 2001 what dog that was crazy I was hiding I was doing you know was that making eight thousand years a road comic yeah I got a file yeah so I didn't file I made money one out of the 13 years 111 years and one day I walked in downtown downtown I thought they were gonna shoot me in the head mm-hmm I took a number they called my name I went back to I told my hadn't father in 11 years they asked me what I did I talked to the lady for a half hour she she goes we don't go back for seven so you've got seven three years no they

18:47don't draw you in both listen you have to be a dumb for them to throw you in jail or you have to be a public figure they give you every option John the public figures you're actually worse off then if you're some just legitimate businessman if you're a public figure I could go down there with my attorney and say look yeah I'm gonna shoot ten movies and the next no they wouldn't they would not let Wesley Snipes do that because if he gave him such a at first he was telling them all this that rules and do you think he was just the man he was talking about all that and that drives him crazy I don't think he was made a case that he didn't owe them yes and they'll play with you once you start talking about amendment 11 right Thomas Jefferson reparations napkins eyes I don't give a those people out there that convince people that they don't have to pay taxes

19:43and it's not in the Constitution it's like they want to believe it like a conspiracy theory you know no it might be here's the thing I mean it you might have a legal argument but it doesn't matter they'll put you in a cage tax evasion take that money and put you in a cage mama getting my kid from the solution what's that that kid that what happened to him he tried to preside he actually didn't just not pay his taxes there was some shenanigans he made less than he actually did go get you why these Pete roses and they got Sinbad remember that they were putting my page LA Times for years you know Mike the situation so disco more charges yet including tax evasion and structuring yes acts evasion like once you structure it and you're the mastermind part of the story was to me that for that period that they're like hitting him up about he made nine million dollars so no I just was amazed

20:57that like from the I didn't realize that from I mean I remember that show obviously a huge hit but that's incredible sum of money we should really pay attention to this like not just his but what what they can do cuz you think about what it is is we're just talking about money right and we're talking about some deception on his part that yeah where you try to keep some money yeah try to make it look like it was anybody else yeah save yeah you're in some sort of a deal with Costco and you do some sneaky and decide they they can sue you and you owe them and you have to pay them but there's no threat of jail time right right I mean is there if you tried to like cook the books well they can yes what they put you in jail would they just trying wire fraud they have a glove probably fine so I'm guessing right the same kind of scrutiny and attention though that he's getting

21:43no I think it'd be about all about paying a lot of money let's let's put let's pretend that Mike Sorrentino is that his name let's pretend that he had some sort of a deal Chevrolet and you know he was using his name to sell cars but he was around with some money and cooking the books and a little bit of this a little bit of that to the same tune as what was going on with the IRS what do you think they would do to him wouldn't would you even be seeing this on TV no they would know there'd be like a suit right because what they're saying is this guy tried to the Big Daddy right I mean that's what they're showing you showing you that Big Daddy gets mad when you try to him and in the grand scheme of things like it's a lot of money to her individually to earn but it's you know it's not up money that affects Big Daddy maybe setting up she's coming after you

22:26but here's the strange thing Big Daddy is just people like what why do we let anything be Big Daddy yeah like the I we used to think of it I think from like almost like a primitive perspective like you have a king you know or you have a leader of a tribe yeah I think that's that's how people used to think of it and used to think of all these organizations whether it's the FBI or the DEA as being a part of that but there are just a bunch of people yeah and no person should ever be Big Daddy to the point where if you have money that's owed to someone else perhaps and there's some sort of an argument that you've been deceptive that they can just swoop down and take all your money like they lock it all up like they go no no no no we're freezing your funds like you didn't Exxon doesn't get to do that yeah Chevy doesn't get to do that other corporations don't get to that but Big

23:13Daddy has the overall say if you violate Big Daddy's code even though Big Daddy like you don't eat you don't need to get a receipt from from Big Daddy you give Big Daddy half your money and Big Daddy just takes in spends and you know you said what you don't think you should pay taxes you hippie what are you a Bernie Sanders supporter not even saying that now you can saying that I think don't you think Big Daddy should be accountable if Big Daddy's gonna be able to just throw us in a cage because we don't give him ones and zeroes don't think Big Daddy should be a little bit accountable just be way more accountable for their spending way more or you shouldn't just you should be able to check off boxes - yeah it should be like like needs like health care check like police department check fire department check things of you we all like to have to pay yeah and then there

24:03should be elective things a bunch of elective you know well I feel like they should also like our representatives should be way more willing and like act like mandated to explain in detail and like what they're doing what they're spending on yeah and I feel like a lot of you know house represent Congress Senate there's just like an air of arrogance about the way that they even handle them you know I mean they have power of course they're big daddy they're big daddy and like it's yeah I mean it's the just like aloofness that they have is like you always been upsetting them it's gross no one should be big daddy and you debt I mean the the people in Congress should be humble and they you know that's one of the things about Obama say what you want about Obama were the electus policies as a human being that guy conducted himself better than any president ever the way he spoke the way

24:55he interacted with people the way he even responded criticism you know we're not just talking about its policy yeah you might hate the class portable chair yeah as good as it's ever been yeah which is why this Trump ting is in such direct contrast when he's yelling the other day it's some reporter and he said you know your fake news he used that again man he said be quiet fake news or something like that what he's talking about something you know we can like conflate the two like if you want to take talk about policy and effectiveness of an administration and just personal conduct like let's say you take all the politics out of it that's what while there's a lot of people to this moment still yeah if you just even separate politics which a lot of people are in favor of just the way he conducts himself some people love it listen let's be honest it's very very

25:42small amount of people love it right but a lot yeah you know you were saying before there's no debtors prison yeah there's no debtors prison when I first got in Takami I was getting divorced I was getting squeezed by an attorney and as much as I never forget the first day I miss a payment for anything like I'll never forget how terrible right yeah that my credit rating everything I had worth all those years we had one down the toilet and then at that point I said if I'm walking on ice I might as well dance I mean I was just buying cars and around and you know what they couldn't throw me in jail for all that but one not discover closed my account yeah and I went home and opened up my drawing one of those clothes with you when you want coke you get Einstein you get creative jack I went home and I hope and let her draw and I saw those checks of those three checks that this cover

26:34sends you yeah when you first went to card and kept the card I had a bank account back a bold or whatever was called I had my bat my car financed through that I went in there that a 24-hour drive-through I wouldn't have one o'clock and sign that check over to myself for a thousand I waited for two seconds and also an envelope came out with a hundred with ten hundreds I'd peeled them to ninety out of the hem one day and not no one had ever called and said you got an hour to bring that money back we're gonna charge you with fraud ooh and I was put up against the thing I went to the bank I told me was a mistake I didn't know and one lady said you know what I'll take that thousand I'll give you the thousand but I'm gonna put it into your car loan and raise the payments by twenty five bucks for every thousand is twenty five bucks and that's the only reason why they go to jail for that thing

27:28so they don't put you in jail for being in debt they put you in jail for deception you know how they get athletes and entertainers you know what that biggest downfall is when they go to Comic Cons and those autograph signings oh they don't they don't get paid for those but they get paid for those don't report there's two things there's the people who get $5,000 flat mm-hmm and you take pictures all day then there's the people that get ten dollars for their t-shirt and $15 for a headshot and a smile yeah those fifteen dollars go in your pocket bro I'm sorry and what happens is you have to give a percentage the fifteen dollars to the guy it's like when you sell merch at a comedy club now all of a sudden not a one eight percent a emerge well that guy reports it but Pete Rose or than just saying Piero's I'm not against yes roses my dog Pete Rose he just puts 15 dollars in his pocket right

28:24what $60 war he took 10 pictures it sonjin $50 that's how they they come get you and all those autograph things right what you wanna hear what's this is from an article that's two ladies talking about mmm this article is talking about walking away from comic-con with garbage bags full of 20s this guy said he can make up to 250 grand wide twice they didn't feel a need for representation because he's walking out with a bag full of cash what who is he it's like a unnamed Persis a source deeply involved steven arnelle who became so enhanced the festival business that he started zone talent agency the star of the era of the show the arrow oh wow that's a lot of money yeah that seems very strange comic-con you pay for a booth and then I think you give them three percent of your overall take don't you think that's really bizarre having people paid to come and meet you

29:18that seems real strange I think it's weird to charge somebody for a picture and then charge somebody to sign I mean I guess the signing thing I understand there's a bit especially in sports you know they're selling a book but are these your thing that you're signing oh five hundred thousand dollars a weekend who the gets that guy from the walking dead Norman Reedus what owe $200,000 guarantee back guarantee it okay five hundred grand a weekend I love celebrities who get a flat and the ones that on the way real low like if you want Lucille Ball or look if you want happy days or something like that they get piece work I just changed my mind I'm all-in I'm not doing it next weekend I'm taking pictures with your mom you would never do this Joe Rogan like the other day a friend of mine home and he goes I was at my dad's hospital room the other day and it was the

30:14funniest thing Joe Rogan young Joe Rogan sitting around a campfire with people he was I never saw an episode and also he pulls on a bag of dicks and he made everybody be dicks he goes me and my dad Howard you know for some people in ten years they're gonna come to you and say can I take a picture for $10 I love free effect we letting you sit Nicole myself a picture I understand I think it's a bad relationship it is but some people that when they go to comic-con yeah they take their whole savings up there really good I'm sure it's a shame what are you gonna do I don't have any problem with it you have any problem people doing to make a living no no I'm just saying that's how you get nailed that's how they know you do you see yourself doing that I'm too embarrassed that's what I'm saying listen when I was a coke fiend I couldn't sell CDs after a show so what

31:10what does that tell you yeah I have just to embarrass I'd rather shake your hand and hug you and get the out then you not come up to me because I'm selling a $25 CD yeah that's a funny thing about you Joey you know I've been friends with a lot of guys that had substance abuses like I told you about my friend Johnny back in New York and one thing that you both had in common is that even though you have like these issues there was never a point where I felt like I couldn't trust you with something you know like I you you never would sell anybody out you would never you know I'm saying like you wouldn't you're not a type of person who would do something to hurt somebody else so that you could profit because you you were sick and you needed drugs that was never you you always had like a strong code of ethics you know I would get out that yeah we're worth nothing I was a jam

32:03that had problems but when are we started telling people he's a junkie but he pays his bills yeah well you know more like what the are you talking about yeah you're just a guy struggling in and I recognized in you a lot of what I had seen in my friend Johnny was that there's a lot of people that are brilliant people that for some reason the fabric of society just doesn't fit them it just is there's something about getting up in the morning and going to a job and you know whatever it is about the way they were raised the experiences that they had just who they are inherently from birth whatever the factors are there's certain people that just can't do the regular thing and they just need to find this other thing for you is obviously stand up and once you've found that other thing it became successful that other thing that's when your the whole thing changed that's when you were I mean it

32:55was really proof positive mean for sure you learned a lot of things about life you got older you got wiser you know but I think a big part of you becoming more comfortable and more relaxed and becoming who you are today is that you you've started becoming successful as a comedian and when you started becoming successful as a comedian like like well 10 years ago things started really ramping up for you a noticeable relaxing few noticeable change because you you you realize like oh this is what I'm supposed to be doing the problem is when this isn't working and then you think well maybe I should go back to selling cars maybe I should get a job in a factory maybe I should maybe I should do something a three or four nights a week just bartend make a little extra money lighten up the load on the family that when when those cut types of things start with you and that's when

33:45you start doing coke that's when you start going crazy that's when you stay up late that's when you off that's when you make big mistakes like you're unhappy you're upset you're in the wrong groove it wasn't the external struggles as much as the internal struggles hmm well maybe all of it together snow vine this November's gonna be 10 years I haven't done a lot of the coke iced Ramon being calm it's amazing with you the January after the November and you know like you haven't done in 60 days and I was still I wasn't sweating it out yeah but I still wasn't trusting myself right I thought I could snap at any minute some chick with hot tits with a gram of coke we had a remember bro for me it wasn't about success or selling tickets or for me it was just doing something with my life right where I'd come from all I wanted was just to do something with my life

34:44if I could pay rent feed the cats smoke pot in two spots that's a lot better than what I used to do yeah that's a lot better than the life I had you understand me even if I don't go on the road and I'm not louis c.k didn't matter to me just I didn't have to carry a gun or worry about people knocking on my door I was like Richard Gere Nelson gentlemen I don't know where else to go go to the store and do that stupid spot yeah at 12:45 and look what happened you just keep showing up yeah man that was another big part of it was getting you on the internet that was the thing so people we get a chance to show people what I already knew you know like the only way for you back then to get exposure was you how to do something conventional the only thing that existed they had to put you in a movie or put you in a TV show and you got in a few movie movies and you got in a few TV

35:36shows but they didn't get to see you as Joey Diaz no but they got the see use it like some character actor and you know of that mob movie with Robert De Niro but there's a big difference between that and you like this you yeah just it took that took the right thing for you to be this you you know took like the internet but now the Internet is like for Joey is the best medium ever yeah yeah there sure has exploded man well for you too that's gone yeah I like it you're just as good of an example like you don't have a lot of success outside of the internet no that's true the Internet has been your yeah I mean think about it you didn't have like a long-running television series or a series of movies or anything you know yeah yeah but you're selling out place is that a lot of those guys can't even with ya all the time because of your podcast which is if you haven't seen it it's

36:29your podcast with your wife's one of my favorite podcasts it's so consistently silly think it is very he's so ridiculous yeah and people get silly when they get on it they do and then you know I start like seeing things like oh this is like your mom's house bit I need to send it to Tom yeah yeah they sent me a couple good ones I can't tell us straight about taking this without 90 people hitting me up the next day telling me that was the most brilliant story in the world with my son at the Thomson play time I tell on the comic it's awesome bark myself I'm two days later sure enough I'm just wearing the YouTube video replay Joey telling stories for sure any told us about when he in his backyard and somebody thought a barrage yeah yeah Joe Rogan's she looked at it and she was like 58 she squinted at me up against the wall I took a and I put my back against the wall so when I when you

37:48outside it's not gonna be a decent yeah it's gonna be like explosive and she's looking at the wall like what the she actually walks up close to it and looks around and runs it I'm watching all this I can't breathe and now I go to the computer cuz my wife's very decent sitting there forever just had a conversation with Susan I want to get sushi give a go get sushi eat a lot of it hey yeah the rice pushes everything out yeah yes yeah you had plans to go get a weed store you want a post office but I made a detour I plan to go home but I left the house key in the house so I had to climb around the window that's what happened yeah yeah so when I pulled myself up I actually landed with my stomach on the window and now you really just made it push it out more like fatter than and hands are struggling the window feeder on the other side and the cats meowing scratching and I'm

39:12like it's me your so I ran out ran down the stairs oh outside took a in Phaedra's backyard after a five-hour drive to you can see the dog it doesn't make you gag but human bomb yeah you gotta clean up some wine oh if you use one of scrapers yeah it smells so much stronger man when that Reese's Peanut Butter fuel leaks out when you go to prison you have to cut the up the like in a tube while people watching TV like when you go to County Jail you right there so black guys will be laying there watching TV with their feet up and also this small little they're like put some water in that hole like they're just yelling the other side of the prison because that means you took a in prison as soon as you you gotta put water on it yeah but there's some bathrooms that only give you 20 ounces of water a day so whatever time you flush it's gonna be a good flush you follow me this sometimes

41:12the piss has to stay there until the next day until you take a good good but when you take a in jail bro they'll tell you cuz water put some hole in that ol dog I could smell that right now I'm trying to watch Oprah but that's what smells one stuff sucks it it's like when you go to Vegas yeah they have that sucking action yeah well if you think this this big that's 34 inches once that suck it breaks it looks like two new chucks once that breaks it's over it's over they put the bathroom right by the door the front entrance yeah nobody come over right right that's why I always go downstairs take yeah I don't my bathroom in the hotel no more cuz it kills the whole room for two hours he worked at the House of Blues in Vegas and Joey left an on shore you know on shore is it's like he he was so fat at the time that he couldn't sit down and like the regular toilet you were like

42:06what do you want to do 4:15 he was a giant so when he would take a he would had have to balance himself mostly on the very edge of the front because his ass was so big we didn't in the water well on the deck no you ain't never seen a like that before so you couldn't sit in the toilet I would sit on the toilet but I don't like Milo the bruise on the egg it wasn't that was fat I don't like my dick inside the toilet suck your dick and also in this succulent toilet let my wife be in public because I want to eat a monkey I don't want that monkey so when I in a public bathroom I hold my balls okay and I towards the edge I don't give a at somebody else's bathroom right so you just hold your balls and sit where you are because if I'm back there I got crabs one time and they're sitting on the toilet they'll jump from that toilet inward like they jumping over a

43:06moat people are saying they got crabs in the toilet is an excuse well sometimes you could greg crabs from anywhere but i think you know we get it from here they only cleaned the hairs i don't think they like will stay on an actual toilet i think you're probably definitely right yeah i wouldn't feel like that's one of those things like crabs I took a a gas station that had to be it that's what I always figured it was know so I always hold my nut when I it was long and read bad put ketchup on it remember red ban will catch up unfortunately I think that was a different time okay this is not happening yeah there's been many made those things just like sticking out there's a smell you know how when you take an epic it's an above water it comes out like like the Big Island of Hawaii yeah just Rises through the water yeah like I've done that many times where cuz I eat too much

43:58yeah and I'll take these shits that are just like so big they're preposterous but there's a totally different smell to those shits cuz you're smelling raw outside of the water right I mean it's it's it's gone through the water yeah it's poking into this strong what is it about that that makes you happy what is it about good doesn't come around that often either yeah man it's like a comment like it's like I don't this doesn't happen all the time it's always diarrhea too it's never like it's never like a super like thick log it's weird when the second wave is diarrhea like when you take long you're proud of yourself yeah and then you're like I think I got a little more in there and it's like wow it's just a you know that's from what healthy eating healthy eating does that yeah if you eat some MCT oil coconut oil I do that to you lubes up your pipes okay because where I moved to

44:52now I have the office to back off isn't it connected to a bathroom it's got a door so I don't live with stink no more I open the door in the morning I I smoke the ball the backyard anymore no no okay I door goes faces to the backyard I had my own bathroom in the bedroom then one of the guys nice oh I don't put a woman oh no man there's a school behind it kids playing I'm smoking dope I don't give a Frenchman's and it don't smell him in homeboy you light a candle that's beautiful beautiful that's what you need is a bathroom with a door that faces outside the worst is when you go over a girl's house and you go to use her bathroom and you smell matches oh yeah oh no she was lighting this up yeah you think he's like burning off fumes yeah stinky buddy I hate thinking about her meth ever get to a girl's place and then you feel the gurgles and you're like

45:56yeah I could I've had that before I was dating a girl once and she had ferocious diarrhea ferocious so she was in regular yeah yeah and she so she went to the bathroom and she just turned on to the shower and she turns on both things on the sink whoa yeah drown and I'm like what the is going on I was very young at the time you didn't understand what I'm super confused the is going on in there I had I had once in in college where I was at this girl's place and she was just like okay it's game on like go for it right like I have to take I could feel that it was a diarrhea dirt like an explosive diarrhea and I also realized there was no way to do it that then it would just be a black toilet and that there's no way I could cover so you know what I did I went back to my place I was like oh I'll see you some other time or what run the next day her friends like you're like the

46:51like they gave me credit but they they thought was guy that I was a good cuz they're like you're awesome yeah cuz they're not getting they don't want their friend to get right so they use reverse psychology on you you're an amazing guy I got an amazing guy credit I hope you wait forever a circle that you love not even when you get married tell her we get married ever so much have sex after you're married never it's not about that right it's about real love yeah like Twilight love if I had had boughs that were intact it would have been a different story that night house boughs yeah yeah there's a time when you know that it's in the sensitivity of your inner region I'm so amazed it is it knows yes special you go to sleep out a fart right when you like you like about to cut a fart and and then also don't alarm start going off oh no oh yeah oh no and you

47:43got a clamp shot like Jesus what is this we were having this debate yesterday about why are they sometimes hot like why is it hot and then why does why do you know that hots gonna smell bad spicy food bro is it but is that what it is so imagine I don't know I was telling you guys at one time my freshman ya didn't take a shift for a weekend I had high school I was addicted to stake them American cheese and all right a Frenchman well I played freshman ball and we're playing Pattinson Eastside it's just a jungle over school like you got to be careful you know on there and we went ahead and played a Christmas tournament well what kind of bar are we talking right that's a basketball I hadn't taken his shift like ten days I'm out got something I took acid something my stomach if I didn't tell nobody in those days I was really scared of doctors and I would say

48:40to nobody on the way home we got on the bus and while we will wait there my stomach started hurting I said Jesus Christ eyelid off on my ship myself a fart well let me just take a chance and I blew this fart Joe Rogan that was so bad right we want a bus and people started running hero school buses people started running to the windows right to swing down the bus windows but his words get better I fought it again and the teachers were going oh my god he's changing flavors the cheerleaders are crying like this buffet was god-awful I wrote a blog about one of joeys farts once is that my plane yes yeah I think I read that's called happy pills and it was I was thinking about I was I was looking at this ad take this I was looking at this ad for antidepressant you know some girl dancing around a field of wheat and you know those those ads yeah I was just thinking about

50:08like like what you know what depresses people and how crazy pills aren't how crazy oh it's still up there you can still find it I think anyway at the end of this this is a really fitting like me we're both both of us are barbecued I don't know what the what are we edible some sort of edibles in the beginning lollipops yeah way the beginning we were crucified was asleep yeah he was going in and out but he wrote on the blog and I don't even have to look at the fart was Troy he's lucky I farted because it was a lot better than the Antonio Banderas movie he was watching something to do this on Tony abundance movie I don't remember what it was but I do remember the lady behind you I will never forget hearing her over the earphone yeah I hear oh my god over the pounding sound in my ipod I hear a woman in the row behind us cry out oh my god I look over at Joey and he smiles

51:10there's your happy pill right there that's your right Antonia Banderas Oh what was it oh yeah teaching underprivileged youths how to salsa that's what I was watching it was watch the terrible move terrible we both were and Joey farted the fart of all fart man do you remember why the way we walk the seat will you actually feel you like when you're in a plane and it's coming look down what's the button you push the throat to see it was the seat belt into your waist my god it was terrible but another time I fought he's dead I used take the number one bus from Jersey City Oregon to the high school and we were on the bus one morning kids and there was a guy reading a paper I could live to be a hundred and never forget this reading The Daily News and he had a connector of drool from his lift the Daily News and there was a puddle he was on heroin they would go to Jersey City in those

52:11days and get methadone so they would take the bus up north with us so I'm sitting there he's passed the out and the drool is connected to the Daily News and there's got to be just six inches of power this guy's been passed out for 20 minutes I point my ass at him I'm not sitting behind them I'm sitting across them yeah and I lift up my hips a little bit that even if it wasn't pointing at him he would ricochet off the chair and go straight into his mouth like he's sitting there and I let a fart go out I can live to be 80 like this first little buddy's like what yeah yeah well giggling this is what this is why I hate people this is why I hate when I repo guy give me a second this is this is the reason why I read posts some people going are you sick and tired of blue comedy will come down to the Stanford feeder on Friday night and listen to intelligent comedy comma for

53:52the moment thought provoking comedy and I think about how many times I'm 54 years old and that night I got a sleep apnea machine arc and there's a little needle in this sleep apnea machine because the hall was punches air and do your mouth so there's an escape valve that's the size of a needle do you know how many nights I will sit there and be half asleep and I'll need to fart and I'll wake up just to fart to see if I could smell the fart come through that hole yes if it comes through the hole it's a tremendous fun I just wake up my wife like I got it you got it hell like it's that good I'm 54 years old that always makes me laugh tops Tagore why do people say to me just feel like I love thought-provoking charlie dog that makes you laugh it's comedy yes it's comedy stop what's the you know the uart you almost hospitalized me one time from laughing so hard like I don't know if

54:48you remember this I'm serious I even know if I could tell it it was it was backstage his backstage in his show we were somewhere and you were like how's the way and you and I go you go where is she and I said I said some city in Tennessee maybe not though or Nashville and you go Nashville 96 and you started the story about working the club and you're like I just rift and between shows some crazy some chick who's talking there was eight people for there was 20 people for the first show Knoxville it was a comedy zone show I have booked it Knox knows a great little town like a cute little Tennessee town is it it's like hip it's a fifth you know like a college town so I get there on Friday night Joe Rogan I'm headlining I got 38 minutes I just moved to LA and I signed with creative management and they booked those lumps so booking me out as a headliner I was just dying slug that so

55:53what they did was they put me in one-nighters that paid by 275 and 9 they weren't bad Tennessee you know and we go to this Knoxville for two nights and I go and then you know meet the UM crazy first night I go in there to from Friday night there's 20 people for the first show and there's a girl Joe Roland that's a 12 with a guy that's a four okay and it's her birthday you know meanwhile through it she just turned 21 it's a birthday okay what's going on here you know cuz once you start hearing noise you have to react where there's a comment and you know what's going on here only one I said you're very beautiful and then she just went and ran and started talking about how her husband pimps her out he would have fights on and for 20 bucks you could in the back world 20 fights were on whatever I don't know that on Fridays he would bring it to the construction

56:46truck oh he was bring the truck with her to the construction site and put a mattress in the back and at lunch time that he would let her friends and she's telling me this it's like she's talk and people like like just holding their breath like what is going on here this girl is beautiful and this is just pimping so in between shows I go upstairs to do a line a smoker clean joint or whatever the I'm doing when I come back I see her by yourself when we start talking what's going on oh my god I had such a great time I know it's that stuff true and she goes yeah go show me the monkey and she took me in the woman's bathroom pull down her pants the girl had a monkey that was spotless she had nearly stunk I ate it I offended her some and then she sucked my dick that was it I went back to my room anything that mattered I'm like Jesus Christ I swore I go back for the second show there's a

57:41pee but by the time I go back for the second show Joe Rogan she's sit in the back she's doing one and she's looking at me like this she's and ten minutes into my spot said cuz I was headlining she starts going I sucked the comedian's dick tonight and the husband's like what are you talking about and she's like I sucked his dick and he came in my mouth he's like what the are you talking about the cops had to hold him back he's like I want my $40 that's all he wanted he didn't care that his wife suck my dick at this comedy bathroom when the cops came he kept saying man somebody's gonna get hurt if I don't have my $40 that's a $40 did you come and hung out yes if I would become a little bit like 20 or he cared about was the $40 dog so he told me that backstage at your show and I started hyperventilating $40 for his wife this is the world of comedy ladies and gentlemen this is the world

58:44of crazy comedy Jesus you think that's crazy she's crying some of the husband loved his wife and said you know now he didn't care he just wanted to $40 with a I didn't give it to him he's got rules I gotta give him that he's got like a line in the sand this is number four your buddies are crazy animal when you sit at home at night and you think about all the we've seen we've learned a lot I'll think I ever left is hard well that's by the second time right then that road we've learned a lot of things you learn a lot of things about human beings you know a lot of things about individual you learned some grabbing them I did American home it's a Armed Forces place in Idaho it's part of the triple what this is I walked in and I had to go meet do a sound check everybody kept looking at me going hi how are you have you met sandy yet and I go no let me go and they walk away you ever see

59:49what's the movie with Eddie Murphy when he blew my ring yeah when he goes to the black chicks house it's 80 and the butler keeps laughing remember the butler would go yeah she wants to see in the kitchen he would go because she knew he was gonna she was gonna rape him so every time somebody would refer to Shirley they go do have you met Shirley and you go no and they go oh and they'd walk away well Shirley whoever the captain of that base was the head of the base she was his wife and if a bam came to town or a comedian came to town she blew him that's it that was the rule like Hugh and he would sit out there with his military on with all his and clap and she'd be in the back soup column Inc there's a whole band I mean this is crazy so I didn't know about this she came over started talking to me and then she start to all your Cuban I dated the Cuban one time

60:44he's such a big thing you have a big thing I mean it was that quick like she just gets to it she's like 15 I was maybe like 31 she's maybe 50 Wow and she just dropped behind the curtain you took the hammer out that's kind of soup element I'm sitting there minding my own business and also somebody comes yelling for Shirley Shirley Shirley now usually Shirley we get up and stop sucking your dick not Shirley he moved her knees like I had knee on belly right that's what she did with her knees she kept suckling just kept moving this way she I tried to take it out of the mouth she wouldn't let it she's like no no no she foot closer she wouldn't stop till I mean they're like Shirley this is crazy I can't I'm over stimulated I feel like any psychiatric treatment right now Minka juzu coming they cut it short what is the word what does it mean Minka me suck my dick make it in the

62:00dialogue suka means suck right okay you know it's so weird how the moistest vanish this is Italian Sicilian really so the deeper you go down the boot the more is it closer to Spain or is it farther from Spain the closer Italy is from Spain when people from that area speak Italian I don't care how fast they're talking they can't put the wool over me cuz I could pick up every four words alright so Sicilians say cyka what suck in Spanish chupa-chupa you're in the neighborhood right chuckle I mean when they say su Chi Ming kia like like you know what we're gonna do today and I'm gonna go and get my mink you suck but su column Inc is just a short shirt of this show so calming sure and then you got Ming Kia juice you want it cheers Cheers when you when you hear those Latin languages like you hear Spanish and you hear Italian like those languages seem they like feel like

63:10have fun language you know everything that's got a thing to it it's got a rhythm there's a way they talk it's fun yeah listen to talk yeah especially not really knowing anything about what they're saying I could pick up like one out of a hundred words maybe right yeah and so I hear them talking them home 'but when was that but it's so for me it's almost it's like here in the rhythm of them talking yeah it's like a fun sort of a smooth relaxed yeah but I get you an expression you know they talk to you it's very hard yeah yeah you can always tell in a Latin person like across a room yeah just by their hand gestures and they start you know grazie Mille grazie Mille like this just hearing love please yeah how long will it take your whole do you think it takes you for you just to get the play if you're in France for a week yeah like it takes you three days just to get that

64:10like I'm not gonna learn French in three days but must take you three days to get the jib like a monkey wrench like if they come up to you and ask you what you want from the menu like after you go to nine restaurants yeah yeah you're right you know three days yeah a little something yeah yeah you get especially if you have like a Latin root though you know like you're comfortable with it does it ever bother you when you hear stories about Americans going on like Paris and like the the Parisians thinking the Americans were dicks the Americans like acting like the people from Paris like what is that like how did that whole rumor get started the loud American yeah the whole like you miss versus Paris thing you remember when they what they wouldn't call things french fries they're calling home fries fries like we're supply kits always like the French you know like there's always

65:07there's always like some weird like right-wing punch line about the French how much interaction feel like ever Harry I think at this point for me it's inherited oh yeah that's what I'm saying I think it's everything about you remember that episode of Sopranos woman with David Lee yeah yes chef can I get some red sauce he's like come on red sauce marinara and the guy looked at the other guy he goes if you think these Germans are classless you know I'm saying like look at this guy he'll yeah like they all have every country must have something towards yeah I hear that we're haters across the world but then well person like you or you traveling you don't know bro people were very nice yeah yeah they're nice if you are nice and I think that's universal people are nice if you're nice yeah pretty thoughtful people appreciate pretty much everywhere people are nice

66:00if you're nice you know and the way you are changes the way they are you know like if you run into someone and maybe they're a little bit defensive but you're openly friendly a lot of times they'll relax that whereas if you run into someone and they're sort of defensive and you're aggressive with them then it ramps up and the whole thing becomes like some sort of a weird ego disaster same person different person interacting with them saying the same words it's just it's it the whole thing about people and the way we talk to each other yeah it's were it's a there's no one person responsible for an argument yeah you know most of the time it comes from both sides and then how you interact with people even if you feel like you did nothing wrong there's a lot of times like a big part of how the conversation started shaping itself people don't want it's it everybody

66:57wants everything to be black or white right it's either like if you got an argument when the dude it's his fault or it's your fault but it could easily be both can easily be like just a mismanaged situation you know you might been coming there because there might have been some problem that they were supposed to fix on your car and they didn't and you know you in your car headed to the Comedy Store you like this and the light starts going on again like god damn it and you get there you already a little bit ramped up and you run into someone and then you're already coming at them at like a 6 and if you get an interaction with them about like hey man you can't get in front of you I got Oh someone you like you man right that could happen totally does you don't know where that's right you don't know that's why I've always I twenty one I learned a very important lesson life you

67:48don't know what that guy's going through today no one does right before you heard remember some for you give that dirty guy it's the hardest a finger and cut him off yeah you don't know if his wife just left him his kid just told him she was a lesbian you know this is pie at all sin he's got a girlfriend he does have a gun in this car you don't know what somebody's going through right you have no idea what's on their mind coming up to you you know one of the most genius thing I ever heard was that the great Carlo Gambino never answered his own door he always had his wife answer the door well cuz no matter how mad a mobster came over no matter how like he just got off the phone with this guy and he won't give me ten kilos Carla's gonna resume this no matter how mad I came into the house his wife would stop you make you sit down and give you an expresso don't give me Scott and talk to

68:43you so by the time you got into Carlo you were slowed down you think he was very smart that way that's beautiful is he always his wife was like everybody's mom one of those ladies then you go how are you so that's why it's not good for everybody if men get together for long periods of time I think that I think that people should anybody who's involved with customer service should take some type of something to let to calm people down like people work at an airport right you know there's got to be a system how to slow somebody down yes that's a brilliant system having a wife that's like a very nice person that sits you down lowers you Detroit conjuring talk to you and you realize like listen this is what's important this kind of friendship here like like half of the issues that people get into it's a perspective issue right it's like like especially if you're like a mobster and

69:42you think someone's you over and you're like oh you know where's my money and you said like come on a perspective issue yeah it's it's most what it is like how are you looking at your relationship are you trying to this person over you're trying to work together in harmony yeah we're just trying to work together in harmony I better to work out we all travel you ever have a bad travel day and we get to a hotel and we'll furious with that little lady at the counter made us laugh and for sure all about what just happened I'm sure and she even do something that'll change your whole outlook for the day like she'll go oh by the way I knew you were delayed we told the kitchen to save your spaghetti and meatballs on your way you bad you Wow you know so that's I liked when that happens I love when I'm furious and I walk into a hotel and somebody slows me down and talks to

70:36me and so ya know it's really cool and people have that that's a gift by the way to actually slow somebody down and be able to touch them and go hey man it's gonna be funny come here let me take it to detract them if you have a business you have a customer service representative someone who meets people at the door that person has an amazing personality that is worth a lot of money oh yeah sort of a lot of money can't coach it you can't train yeah whether it's a guy or a girl and I've met them on both sides you know yeah you meet people that work in a certain place where you look forward to going back to that place to saying hi to that guy that guy's just super cool you like what's up what's up man and like you've made like a legitimate friendship with this person and that's that's possible too you know this idea that we all have to be constantly at odds with each other and I

71:24think even like security people like when I see when I'm in a restaurant or bar on a sporting event and I see a security guy what's that word dissolve a situation yeah Rhona points especially when a person oh good one yeah that's what a person's drunk listen I can you when you're sober right once you got four cocktails on you I'm gonna talk to you once on my patients level isn't done yeah you know it's done but there's some people who stay calm they go we know man yeah let's just take a walk over here and talk about it and you fall for it next thing you know you're out bright no matter if your girlfriend's with the guy you know then he will come rushing into a bar and this people were tremendous at that that's a great gift you know who could use that Big John McCarthy Big John McCarthy is the best at like separating when goes sideways in the Octagon is in here

72:17X police officer yeah yes yeah and he's a giant yeah he's a I mean he's a big dude is a black belt in jujitsu and when when gets weird inside the Octagon the cop and him comes out yeah like a people if there's some chaos like some crazy he puts a halt to that no more yeah those guys are important man it's important to have people like that now that is a skill though it is it's a giant skill and also be a good guy which he also is right like like Big John McCarthy is a hell of a human by the way formally Congrats on a thousand men that's really awesome listen amazing party started guys that's really incredible man it's probably more right I think it's like a thousand and forty three or something probably yeah there's a bunch of other named ones fight companions fight breakdowns I would never ever dream when you started doing these mean the other day they would have the impact that they

73:20have let's just keep that now and void remember you like saying like people want to hear this I remember him calling me up to the room me yelling at Joe and night why you the crazy home on a Friday night 13-year old us take that off we were in the green room and yeah no no cops no this was somewhere else wait this is doing a pocket meet him in red bag one of the first podcast we did was off this thing called Justin dot TV yeah Justin TV and we did the green rose and we did him back when there were cellular modems so you'd be streaming like there wasn't like a lot of Wi-Fi back then so we'd be streaming from like a cell phone hookup yeah it was terrible like real pixelated stuff but we were like this could be weird have people like watches get ready in the green room talking to the camera just bizarre so we decided to do a few of those but Joey was like get this thing away

74:24from me but that was that was the different Joey Diaz back then you know you were still uncomfortable you know it was funny with that that was the thing that set you free it was also let people know who you are at the beginning when he was like hey do it weren't you also like what the are you doing no no I was like are you like a bird caller kind of guy so like I thought it was like one of those weird you know I mean things that people do that I was like a bird call like we talking about man and I just didn't like it I didn't know but then Dane Cook became a megastar with MySpace and yeah everybody and their mother one on my so that was before me but they would not Dane Cook Dane was doing yeah they just stopped by going on MySpace and going I got free tickets tonight yeah that that was gonna work Dane Cook was communicating with that true and people would see the

75:16communication and go wow we can have live interaction and blah blah blah but Dane was doing that way before me he was doing that on myspace in like 2002 or something yeah right wasn't it but pretty early on yeah but about in 2003 we'll check the lineup we'll check the old calendars we did the fourth of July weekend in Irvine and I'll never forget that I said to you do you have radio and you go I have no radio I'm a little panicked and that Thursday when we got down and the whole weekend was sold out and that's when I said Joe Rogan's aren't there some with that computer I the cuz my philosophy was that computer do you think Richard Pryor would go home before in the morning coked up and get on Facebook that was my thing at that time sunglasses and think that Richard Pryor's gonna go home and get on MySpace so I was opposed it but once I saw five sold-out shows in Irvine the

76:14old Irvine when it was known that if you didn't do radio nobody's gonna show up there those great right that was it that was it to me that was what made me a believer that there's something there yeah it's amazing the the range of people that come up to me about your show you know like the like all types of pilots fighter I've had like amateur fighters professional fighters the range of people that are interested in your show you know I mean it's a really wide range of people it's fascinating like it's really reached a lot of people man I was it freaks me out man why I wasn't Burbank okay all right you don't me dog I had an I went to jiu-jitsu and had a half-hour to kill so before they had kind I just smoked a joint I was in my car on Magnolia Boulevard up the block from Porto's which is backed and I opened up the sunroof and I just started smoking a joint before they

77:18had cut and I put a piece of gum in my mouth and I actually walked in the crosswalk to walk all across the street and there was a lady holding a kid with another one and a thing and she looked at me and when she looked at mango this lady smells me you know when yeah when you don't have a child you don't give a about reefer but when you have a child and you see a mom with a child you feel kind of sorry man I didn't say no until she looked at me she goes oh my god with the kid in my thing and with the stroller she looked at me she goes blue cheese with your mother I loved it I'm from Buffalo I looked at her and she just kept walking but it was like the type of woman that wouldn't say that to me with the kid Edna push it she goes blue cheese with wings they go your mother I love you and she just kept walking away oh my amazing man what went to Sacramento and families with kids it's

78:19crazy but the realm of the people why they come up to you and TSA oh forget about TSA but the realm of people and the reasons why that's what I'm saying that's what's after which always killed me like I've been around for 20 years and what made you come to my show as I told this about I told the story about taking the in somebody's backyard I loved it we laughed like you like oh my god yeah that's what you know when somebody comes up to me it's always they came to a show for something different I said on here yeah you know that's really weird it's amazing and like you said the contrast it's not just the six-foot guy no it's every the steroid a guy hits a mom with a baby and a stroller I was saying I love that I have people that so want me to like it give you things it's so annoying yeah they're like because they always start with like trying to flatter

79:16me and like try not they're like dude I think you're hilarious I know thanks man I love your I listen to it all I was general on the way to work every day I'm like oh thanks a lot and they're like yeah man it's so funny like I love this bit in that bit and I'll be like it's very nice you man thank you very much like it and I listen to your podcast and I love it it's so funny I'm like thank you and then they're like hey would you give this to Joe that's their their whole thing like did you think because you told me all those compliments I'm gonna be your messenger and they'll be like no I mean just like if you could give it to them okay sure I get this request every other week what kind of weird that's always packages and envelopes and I don't open them in good yeah no they go right right I tell him to send them directly to you and like the cop he don't even do that he gave me

80:12two cups I gave one to Alberto and I gave the other one to you this is a highly ineffective way to communicate with people I sending them yeah you know people think that I want to have in my car I can't give this the time like I'm gonna have this in my bro I got the newest latest bong it's totally different than this long first of all you drop it out of an airplane it will not break it's military-grade brother this is the bomb the bargain to end all bombs the catastrophe Apocalypto you've had this pay into the world bomb yeah sure bro this bomb is made out of the same the Wolverines claws there's a closet in my office I slide open yeah and I cannot tell you I must have a 300 black t-shirt from different vans and Sharons restaurants I got every I mean look at me I got every protein powder whew I got more geez yeah that's how many G's are given to me yeah mailed to me I have to mail them

81:22back my wife says if I see one more I will throw that out it's just amazing albums because people know I like oh I come home with vinyl every week really some of it is atrocious yeah but some of it is fantastic I listen to everything you do do you have a hard time chucking out old I feel bad for people I understand that they've worked for it and I understand that they went on their way for it but if I haven't seen Duncan in six months and I got a bullish candle it goes in the garbage like once Duncan moved to New York I threw all Duncan shrooms give me heavy drugs he's my brother yeah you know what they come and get some guy game about a month ago gave me a book about stars and Jesus when I looked he was the author that cast mmm video that gets to him everyone that guy gave me that book and I showed it to you like how to be a real man one of his rules was be 40 dumbest we went over it

82:45on your pot yes right yeah and that guy long he gave that to like a bunch of us you we are Hong Kong he was like here's this book I wrote let me look at it it's him on the cover and it's all glossy and he's in it he's like looking off to the side and that was when I first did your podcast I think you first yeah yeah how many years ago was that that was probably well we started at seven years that's probably five years ago yeah I do get a lot of neat though oh yeah I do get a lot of I'm talking about plate you have the studio who made that thing a kid in Cleveland yes that thing is good I got I get great book sent to me I mean phenomenal money books I'm reading one right now there's the creepiest thing huh the three lives of Jimmy Page from Led Zeppelin Oh that travelled with a fourteen-year-old girls bro never got charged with statutory rape really just travels the world for years

83:45he's just a runaway on the on the tour like crazy talks that true you know talking about his house and in where he lived he bought it from Alex took it was aleister crowley's all house a 24-karat warlock he was Evelyn sure he lived in his house and you know for some people it was like a way to sell records and that for those for those four were onto something magical you know they were magical nine albums but this book can I don't like I gotta put it down for two days at a time sometimes really yeah he's a nut that's what's called the three live look the ten wildest Led Zeppelin legends record scroll the sit down Joe Rogan he that hated a 14-year old Ricky man the truth Maddux was amazing just 14 when she met Paige though Paige did what he could to keep the relationship hidden oh that's true that's crazy oh that's weird he was crazy when they shoved the little what they've shoveling

84:54octa blah a baby shark up a sheiks well that's so weird man like you could you could do that back then right but you could do weird back then yeah it makes you stop and think like what that is it's like the just the the beginning of the Information Age right newspapers regularly television shows on the news all that stuff was only like a few decades old when the sixties and the seventies rolled around when you really think about the timeline there it's really kind of fascinating do you ever think about the jump from in technology from like you know like you know how it's sites that there's no Us Weekly there right right so things kind of advance and now everything's monitored and now for instance you can you know you can record a phone call right which is like would be a difficult thing to do back then or you can have a recorder running on you do you ever think about how that

85:51lat you know the privacy goes away and how to some degree we can't even conceive of it right now but how easy it will be to record everything at some point like how it'll you know we joked that gets in your watch or it's in your glasses but it will be like yeah you'll walk out of every conversation and there will be some some form to document it yeah it'd be a total loss there's gonna be there's gonna be some changes I don't necessarily agree all right I'm not convinced I should say not agree I'm not convinced they're gonna be bad to do that yeah I I just I wonder like what what what's gained through this kind of privacy now I'm not not talking about like privacy like corporations or the government being able to look into your life I'm talking about we might get to a position as human beings within our lifetime where everybody looks into everything about everybody everything

86:47right finances your day to day life all sexually yeah seeing you everywhere you go no matter what you do like we could get to a position where there's no disconnection from any of us well we're all connected to each other if this keeps going the way it goes right so it used to be everybody lived far apart and you know you know ride a horse to get to the friend and say hi and and talk to him and hopefully he's still alive would you keep back the next day you know but there was no communication right then I got the phone calls again as things have ramped up and now it's a new phone and now your phone's in your watch and now your watch can tell you who's on you and you can you can look at your phone I see the person start track type already happening right yeah and it's getting deeper and deeper and deeper people are streaming live streaming live streaming Facebook no

87:43matter what they do all day there's a slew of people playing video games live streaming people are tuning in watching other people play video games I mean we're getting like deeper and deeper into this technological rabbit hole where it becomes embedded in your life in a way that was unimaginable before it was introduced same thing as cell phones before cell phones weren't introduced who would have ever believed if you told them that you were gonna get to a point in human history where it is totally common to see people staring at electronic screens while they're all sitting together at a dinner table that there could be five people sitting around and they're not even talking to each other they're just staring at this electronic screen and that screen is compelling you know it I know it I get drawn do it you get you're onto it yo nose man might be some crazy news

88:32let me check Google real quick you never know you never know what weird has been happening in the world and you get sucked into this this thing is becoming a part of your life in a weird way and nobody anticipated if it keeps going in the direction that it's going it's gonna get weirder in a way we never anticipated before where it's not gonna be just as simple as put your phone down and go outside it's gonna be your phone's a part of you it's gonna happen your phone's almost a part of you now if you have to have it like I am connected to this goddamn thing more than I touch my dog right totally I love my dog but I touched that thing more that I touch my dog it's weird you want to pretend it's not a part of me man I could just put it right there so ah yes right there close is right there don't go anywhere I got you right here that's basically a part of me it's

89:20basically a part of me how long before I let them open me up stick me there's a spot my armpit I mean ooze there's a great short about that there's a great short film about is there yes what's it called I don't I don't remember the name of it but it ends up like under the guy's skin that's gonna happen it's funny I really I wish I had to stay away from this thing I charge it a different and I you know the iPad I bought - right no Facebook Twitter on not it Neal Brennan tweet on an iPad I bought an iPad do you have like one of those little keyboard things you can't do with the case like that bro it's changed my life I used to have three hours of just time a day that it's not enough to work out so what do you write in notes use notes program what do you yeah I just write and notes and if I don't like the joke that night I go back and add the tag you know what's real

90:12good if you ever try Evernote no I Evernote is real good allows you to use pictures all kinds of different things that black ever out everything else no no that's a different thing that's a right room but Evernote you you if you write things like the things you want to remember maybe before sets you can write them down in Evernote and then sync them from your iPad to your phone and back and forth it's really good that's it's one that I use I just got this iPad pro three weeks ago and it's changed my life yeah that's it changed my life I could give a about Twitter Facebook nothing when I go to that coffee shop - right it's just that program I have or everything else in there but I haven't even programmed I have the apps in there I got my fitness plan in there I got BJJ training Journal in there and that's it you know that's it think about the Internet man I think about the internet

91:05like I think about foods that are sweet like you can have them as long as you don't have too much so much don't still love you crazy that's that's how I feel about even going online I think we're we're we're we're getting to this weird point where we're just relinquishing our consciousness to this machine relinquishing our consciousness our connection that we all enjoy it's not our consciousness it's the consciousness were all sharing about a certain topic yeah we all have to interject on what we think about Charlotte though for about Trump but stuff like that these days you get on Facebook and Twitter and you're sad you get sad like you get sad for people yeah okay I make it a habit Friday's out here son there's no reason to be on the internet you have to stay away from it there's no reason the shows are sold out your family's at home what do you want to tell me this is my

91:58this is my cheeseburger yeah I give a so on the weekends I don't touch it I forced myself don't touch it for what you have to have a life man yeah we are we are forgetting that there's a life you ever go to a park and look at these parents look at their phones you go to park where your kid don't you yeah I don't take my phone out of the car at the park there's no call you you manager I will tell you they change your spot at the store from 1015 to 10:30 if you wait you're kidding your wife you don't need your phone you really don't Joey you gotta get in the floating man how come you don't float because I smoke pot and I think of this on my own yeah but it's different that's why it's not it's all you think he'll be fine Becky works at the place in Pasadena uh-huh and we've been talking about it a lot about it I'm really scared about these little dabs of anxiety that I get from

92:56Joey you'll be fine Allyson it's good for your health no I know it's good for my health but when I go get give blood like yeah I'd add a little blood no problem wait does weed make you more anxious or less anxious and smoothes it out okay so when it comes to certain things I have to see a window like it's really weird yeah right now there's not a window in it I see that door like when I walk up the steps at the original room and I get anxiety what a comics on stage it could be any but could be an open mic when I'm next and I start getting this this shortness of breath I have to turn around and look down the stairs at the Comedy Store just by me knowing that I could get out if goes down I'm okay mmm so I don't think a tubs got windows a floating tank they seal that thing over you know they don't see how it's just felt or that's what I'm a little scared of it's it's really I'm not

93:49claustrophobic either I was in the cell none of that bothers me I just got to see a window yeah well listen it's it's real easy like when you're lying it's right there you just peek lift your hand up it's right there the doors right there no we have stand-up you open the door it's all in your head you know look what happened yesterday in Spain alone what a shame you can't connect terrorist attacks quickly let me ask you a plan let me ask you a question my brother okay you're an intelligent individual you're an intelligent individual Tom Segura Jamie you're not a Phi Beta Kappa but you know smart it's getting the right now I'm just using you Jamie how many people were looking down when they got hit by that car yesterday let's be honest well that's 65 people got hit but you know why people oh well that's you know people are wandering through that's start paying attention as Americans you

94:43cannot live in that thing no more hmm we cannot it's not smart it's not smart to be walking around staring but sometimes you have to look at it you know there's there's times where like someone of course sends you an address you're meeting people there there's yourself you're like what am i doing we have children do we want our children to grow up on a computer do we want them to have experiences both they're going to grow up on computers you're not gonna no I I want them to grow up in computers but I don't want that whole lifestyle to the other computer I want them I go outside I want them thrive dirty yeah I wanted to have life experiences even if you know the only way you learn about life is sometimes by having a negative something negative happening so true then these children that are on a computer to the eighteen and they send them away and they

95:35fracture yeah they fracture well it's a different time now for children guys and we're parents it's a different time it's way different it's different in a way that I don't think anybody has ever seen before so they don't know what the to do they don't know what the to do Tom's gotta pee ha ha look how slim he is you look beautiful beautiful sex I tried rainy but as normal as I can I try to keep as normal as I can and then we want to forget who the I am Joe Road well you won't and I don't want to forget it for my children wait order you know I don't want them yeah damn why I was driving home okay and I saw a little girl selling lemonade with her mom on the it was 2,000 degrees in Studio City I plucked to my house I go inside and get my daughter and I get to my my wife well let's go buy some lemonade from this kid all right my daughter's going a kindergarten next year at a school

96:29that's like rated one of the highest schools but it's a public school purge kids go there bunch of kids go there's no reason to put your kid in these notre dame's and all these $25,000 they want thirty four thousand dollars a year for kindergarten why come on djaro how is your child gonna benefit come on we're all intelligent here that's thirty four thousand dollars monarch Notre Dame all the schools in the valley they want 30 G's two G registration forms to sign you're kidding really generally people want to keep their kids safe no it's not safe it's so you could tell your friends that your kids them that school that's what nice little bit his eyes yes at night oh no my kids attend and you're like oh my god and you're kiddin attempt to be a dummy because he's in school with other rich people's kids yeah and they're all dummies - you know they're getting raised by nannies I don't want

97:23that mmm I don't I go to the park how many white kids do you see with Mexican women they ain't got a shame behind these Mexican women I redacted white kids that's up that's why they didn't want Trump to build a wall cuz you have to raise their own kids that's why these white people didn't want Mexicans to go in California who's gonna raise their kids oh jeez swimming cool I go to swimming class Tuesdays and Thursdays with my daughter jump on the there's no more white parents with their kids ten nannies are in the why I'm here with the kids when your kid grows up and he's what's his name my Govan Apple oh my oh yes don't come crying to me pacifier there were six I was raised to be a little but I snapped out of it somewhere do you know that my homey this my father died I wanted I was one of those little boys you see with that mom holding on to that leg no go I was one of those little kids

98:26yes okay I sucked a pacifier to the age of six okay I had potential to be one thing one thing you understand me but my mother would not allow that to happen they don't Latin Mother's don't play that yeah I'm saying oh yeah Latin mothers do not allow that I couldn't wear scarves you know I was a lot the wanna wear scarf like a Snoopy scarf or like a plain scarf or what's it like one of those Randy Couture scarves which although I wouldn't wear I think on him is quite fetching no no scarves - no all you ever see the Randy Couture scarf no yeah Randy Couture will wear what I would call a tactical scarf Oh like that yes that's the kind of scarf that like a Navy SEAL would wear that Brandi wears a bunch of those things but Randy's such a bad it's almost like he's begging you to try to choke him with yeah man come come try to grab that thing that should be the name

99:27of that album right there that should be his album cover I'm a ready coachable yeah about anything you know what and his kid his kid came to my show in Vegas and also has like a gym there coolest coolest kid men like him and his wife I think both teach there - Wow nice - his son his son is yeah I saw uh I think he was fighting in the world series of fighting which is now now I was a new name but yeah he fought for a bunch of different people right dignified for Strikeforce and I think he might have fought for Bellator Ryan Couture talented fighter hey while we're at it don't forget to remind you has Gino giving you the CBD roll-on yet yes what do you think it's amazing how does it even work that voodoo go the other night I came home I supported like a cream you rub it on like spots really get out of the shower done it gets in weird spots yeah done its must have some sort of

100:35anti-inflammatory properties or something like that do you like that Thai liniment everybody never rub that stuff on you know I like ties like Thai boxers and they're like you gotta realize we're always dealing with like bone slamming into their legs yeah they're all sore and and they rub this like Thai liniment it's weird it's like he'll smelly stuff I don't think it heals the man but it makes sure feels good what's the shoes that's a similar one Tiger Balm I have another thing it's called something juice and when I was a kid I used to have the high end pound bag and I would rub down on my hands and do the iron palm tech making with that it sparked something that has a weird smell to it what does this stuff do like when when that stuff like heats your skin up and you're like oh god like icy hot like that kind of what is that really doing I have no idea

101:24I think he's just tricking you into think so oh yeah I don't think it really is someone who's a friend of mine is a doctor described it as a topical analgesic meaning that it does something to surface just can't but maybe is it psychological that makes you feel like it's healing up like when you have a muscle soreness or something like that yeah injury well there's a psychology psychological aspect to that heat stuff I feel like you think you're getting work done you know there's probably a psychological aspect to healing in general yeah I mean I don't think it's a hundred percent but I think you could sway it in a better direction yeah you know I mean like that's got to be what the placebo effect is right they tell you they're gonna give you a pill and it's gonna make you feel better you're like ah this is it this is the thing they gave me the gave me the pill and

102:13you actually do feel better and even show signs of recovery like immediately corresponding to you taking that pill like your brain is convinced yourself what about that dude you've had on the podcast whose brain is like a healing serum who can walk wim HOF yeah wim HOF oh yeah dude he's I mean he's people he teaches people how to do it he's as legit as they get he holds the world record for swimming under ice ice yes and by the way he up and couldn't figure out which way to get out because his retinas had frozen over because the water was so cold how does he do this he's an and mo he's a savage that guy in the most beautiful sense of the word he just has incredible breath control that's a big part of like his whole entire philosophy so the guys following this rope all right once he's committed to it by the way like he's just got these little spots along the way where

103:12he can get some air but he lost track he couldn't see good anymore because it was so goddamn cold he couldn't figure out where the exit is so he went more than the full distance that was his goal in the first place which was insane all of its insane a man I mean that got something special he teaches people which is the crazier part even to me that he's he's gotten people trained them to swim in like freezing water oh yeah walk through ice and also fight off a cold yes yes man I use his breathing technique before I go on stage and what I do I have better shows this is what I think I think you look kind of hyper oxygenate and stimulate your mind how sophisticated this is breathing - well it's a lot of what he's it does that I find beneficial is like and I've heard this concept in yoga before - is breathing in like I took a giant breath and letting out excuse me

104:13letting out about 20% and then breathing in again as hard as you can and letting out about 20% breathing in as hard as you can and then continue that for like long periods of time dude I do that in the the cryo tank where I stand in the cold air yeah three minutes goes by like that there's a giant difference between when I do that and when I don't do that so you focus on your breathing it's a little bit of that there's definitely there's there's something about people that are encountering any sort of stimulation where it's real hard to manage the stimulation without letting everything get crazy and haywire yeah and being able to manage it has a gigantic effect on what the actual results or the actual experience of being this cold is yeah yeah because it gets the same goddamn thing but if you can control your breath and control your consciousness and you're doing something that seems to

105:05be heating up your body - in a little bit of a way almost like an internal exercise because it's difficult to do because you're taking these big giant breaths of cold air and then you're letting out a little and then you're taking a big giant breath it's almost like you're flexing your lungs yeah and when you do that man I mean it might make it 20 30 percent easier to deal with three minutes supposedly I'm not kidding one of the elastics I don't know what year is if you'd like to check Jay the Russians beat the out of the Americans suppose the Americans came out walking out you know the flag and the Russians all came out going cool cool hello and they couldn't figure out what the is wrong with these that's what they were doing they warm up their lungs they look back to think about what they're about to do the technique they're about to use and to let the blood go to the back of

105:57something me and I read about that was pretty interesting whether it's true and I don't know but supposedly that cardio was so ahead of the United States because they were doing a pre breathing exercise yeah some to do know is that the guy that also has the record for the deepest drop I think it's a different guy that's a different guy that's a different guy he's the one that I wrote that I read about he's the one that wrote about that how you have to prepare for all that stuff hmm that was learned when the Russians came on the Olympics and it's interesting to focus on your breath like I don't do it much I do it I actually been doing Pilates and it's way a harder than I thought it was gonna be but be like you're thinking about your breath for like an hour basically you're always you're always working on your breath there's it's not it's not a secret that like the

106:51greatest jiu-jitsu guy of all time had this crazy breath control really pics and Gracie yeah there's a bunch of videos of him you've received a documentary joke you ever heard of it no it's an amazing documentary about this guy Hickson Gracie who's almost universally regard as the greatest jiu-jitsu player of all time yeah and fought a bunch of fights and MMA and strangled everybody fought but he there's this video where he's doing this yo warm-up sort of thing that he would do every day and he does this thing with his stomach that you watch him do this and he starts warming his stomach up he's doing this like fire-breathing but then he starts sucking his stomach into like the upper corners of his rib cage like rhythmically and it's like almost impossible thing like when you're watching him doing it like he's warming everything up and then once he gets it warmed up he starts wiggling the

107:46internals but look at this man who the has that kind of control of your abdominal muscle this guy would do this like every time he trained he did it all the time did it constantly he did this he did yoga constantly gymnastics he did a type of yoga called gymnastic natural which is a Brazilian sort of a combination of yoga and a lot of like movements like rolling and animal-like movements natural movements amazing stuff see if you can find the guy who created that gymnastic natural so you give the guy credit cuz there's a really amazing style to work out yes yeah or into gymnastic as a couple brazilian guy teaching that's the boys is actually so much more badass than its given credit for jiu-jitsu no no I'm talking about like gymnast Oh jaren s4 yeah or even like yoga masters their physical ability is so beyond I think most people's perception of it when they first you know think about it

108:55like yeah psychos man professor Alvaro Romano is the guy who created gymnastic unnatural hmm and that was Hickson's thing and there's videos of him doing it doing it on the beach there's a video of Hickson doing it and you will you watch the movement and you go oh this is almost like he's having like it's almost like shadow fighting with jiu-jitsu because you're being able to put your body in these weird positions over and over and over again and balance yourself yeah well it's all about just controlling your body and weird way that you could possibly encounter a position we'd have to be strong yeah wild because he was way ahead of the curve man there was everybody back then was doing Mexican supplements and deadlifts and bench pressing and you know running over each other in training camp beating the out of each other and Hicks it was just strangling people ya know it's

109:50really a fascinating thing when you stop and think about it that this one guy was the best and so far ahead of the curve and so few people even people that really got into jujitsu saw well first of all you had amazing talent as dad was a Leo Gracie those are two giant factors but also the way he trained and the way he controlled his breath and his own son Chrome Gracie's one world champion when the best grapplers in the world can do all that stuff - he has massive breath control and he'll tell you it's all about your breath like being able to control your breath is a massive part of your anxiety levels it's a massive part of how you can deal with stress how you can calm yourself down you have control and power over your lungs what is this - doing oh this is a no he's out there in the jungle this night guys actually doing it in the jungle like Jacare does a lot of that

110:44stuff we all breathe naturally won't like if you look at your children they're breathing the way that it was supposed to breathe yeah yeah somewhere where with 10 or 12 will become a teenager yeah we go off and like my breathing was completely I went to seminars I went to did you really well I went to jiu-jitsu I created so much fear in my mind from being on my back that I would immediately run outside and take my gear off and pee my pants and most people would quit like I just pee a little bit of my shorts remember most people would have quit you know I don't like that feeling yeah so I kept calling back and I wouldn't improve I wouldn't improve because of my car yeah I've been smoking joints for 30 years yeah I'm a fat farm yeah it was that I had a build like I had to get bas Rutten his mouthpiece to build my diaphragm just yeah to suck I had no therapy all this because of jiu-jitsu

111:40really legette bas Rutten thing is legit when I hit the bag I use the bathroom tank yeah I think what they're saying is the best way to use it is use it as an exercises exercise I use it use it like an exercise set up do a few things with it and just blow some air out with it like really good it's really helped me but that's how much I've learned about like I know I don't have as much anxiety I breathe it out it really so I've did a lot of reading about it but that guy's article but the guy that dipped the longest his was the most interesting I didn't know but this time the ice is but it's true man once you now I'm rolling and now I pull guard all the time just to be on my back I want to be fearful yeah so I just could I just look back whenever I have a problem I do a thing called hula boo that the Indians did hula where you look hookah hookah Lou or something like that oh who could

112:37ow who kalau where you look up a new center again yeah and that's helped me become a better common sometimes you're up there talking you just center yourself and all these little things I learned because I joined you Jitsu like my breathing up I focus on it when I Roma I don't care about hands no I don't care if you choke me I really don't give a I'm horrible anyway I'm just I'm just learning to breathe all over yeah you know I'm just learning to breathe you know you know I was grabbing you and then trying to go for a cross collar and then like doing something completely different for a scissor sweep and somebody's eye Joe you gotta exhale brother just do you do you do you do yoga for Jiu Jitsu don't they have a class like that down it yeah yeah yeah we do I go oh what's the name of the actual that thing is called TAC fit but I go to yoga with my wife once a week we

113:31just go League she goes four times I just go with the Tuesday one just to loosen up from 10:00 to 11:00 I'm not that good at it my past fit is our friends track fitters are Scott stone and Ozzy yeah damn colossi who did the podcast may have have a tremendous workshop this wrecking the five-o what sadly and suddenly wasn't they teaching you kettlebells meets club bells with glassy and how it affects jiu-jitsu and MMA and something like that so last week I got to meet Scott sunny and boy he's great he's got a lot of great stuff of great luck bells yes Gracie some of his videos like this I'm up to the 20 pounds from Marbury yeah I started first got the club bells from Aubrey my wrist was hurting with five pounds I couldn't even do the simple five pound one now I'm taking 20 he's holding them going all the way back well bringing them back and it's all focused on my back and breathing that's

114:30it I just do to breathe now I don't give a if I get beat up because that's what was really bothering me yeah breathing man even getting better at it yeah but now I'm getting better at it plus the sleep apnea had put a lot of fear so being on my back and being out of breath to sleep at and here we're kicking again frightened you know so never do those shield casts remember the Iron Sheik remember the Iron Sheik used to hold up those gigantic Iranian clubs yeah that they would use for wrestling training it's like it was a really strong move for wrestling training see if you could find one with the Iron Sheik cuz he was like the Iron Sheik people who don't know he was a pro wrestler in the WWE was WWF back then and you know he was before he was that he was a super successful Iranian amateur wrestler like he was a legit wrestler like legit wrestling skills and

115:28ridiculously strong and he's holding these things I don't know how much these things weigh but they it doesn't look like he's faking this because of the slow motion of how he's moving it they look like heavy objects I don't know how much they weigh but this is a really hard workout to do you know I I can barely do that with like 15 pounds and I'm not bullshitting with one hand it's hard it's a weird control thing and you realize like how you're strong in certain areas those are definitely heaviest the heaviest yeah here's wrong in certain areas like that guys super jacked who is that it's got beautiful anywhere but it's it's a very difficult thing because you could be really strong when it comes to like a straight shoulder press you know like hoist up like 70 pounds but there's no way in the world you're gonna be moving around 70 pounds you're just you just can't do it yeah

116:25your arms gonna fall off like if you have especially if you have it in the form of a club like you can't even get close like I can do a lot of with heavy kettlebells but when it comes to like one of those clubs I take two hands to move around a thirty pound one right which is correct like if someone says like 30 pounds like do you benchpress 30 dogs bro that's all we got here get up off doing something with one of these clubs that's 30 pounds is insane I'm saying you have to be so goddamn strong and that sounds weird because it seems like well 30 pounds of 30 pounds when you start swinging that over your head and it's long and so like the leverage is going against you look at him I've retweeted him the other day about Nazis I love him I was on stage with him in Toronto one of my favorite moments as a human calm people jabronis yeah I called everybody he's a good man

117:27and he was a stud wrestler but there's that's the dark secret of not just professional wrestling but of just real high high level grappling it's like the damage that gets done to a lot of those guys bodies is almost unfixable and he's all up now he's got you know Ric Flair's like not in a coma but in like isoloop like last four or five days yeah I heard about that and how old's Ric Flair yeah you know um they pay a price they pay a price to to entertain in that way very very physically violent you just because it's not quote-unquote a real fight words like there's an unplanned outcome and just throwing haymakers at each other like a real MMA fight just cuz it's not that doesn't mean that they're not taking in a lot of damage yeah hit with those forearm shivers and dropped a chair on them like all that is them up a lot of them have brain damage to a lot of I'm sure there's no sure there's

118:26no Studies on it but I'm sure yeah I mean I'm sure some of them avoided it you know some of them fought smart and what is he saying well is that boy saying your song I thought it was Halloween well he said drop a bees oh my god so long what song is that oh it's a Halloween song right the place what's that face so mind playing chick something yeah that's it with whatever we triple-teamed on them dropping them b's the more I do the more I swung the more blood flew then he disappeared and that my boys disappeared too wow that's a classic man oh my god Bushwick bill ladies and gentlemen yeah remember the one with a the cover of a ghetto boy CD is Bushwick bill with his eyes shot out in a nut not even this one it's another one in the gurney right to the hospital and it's like we can't be stopped is the end with the album he got shot hilarious man I think

119:48he shot himself in the eye I don't even know what the happened someone shot him in the eye and he's like we can't be stopped and using the gurney like look at this oh yeah right damn yeah so he's on the phone he's got one of them brick yeah he's got one of them brick cellphones from the olden days from back at the gordon gekko today these guys on playing games yeah and so he got shot in the eye and while that's happened he's on the phone doing deals doing deal still doing deals who was the common money today hat I guess they were pushing they said whoa why don't we take a pictures we can put this up exactly yeah yo yo yo yo we gotta take a picture let me take this bandage off right quick oh my god man yeah the who's the that's and that's horrible nomenclature Sir John Wesley saw him changing the flat one to the Houston really and he pulled over to help Bush week bill how cool was that

120:53Bushwick bill I met what is he a show once he came to a show did you yeah it's got one of my favorite quotes all time he got without a hoe be a hoe it's totally he's totally right that's hanging really did shoot his eye out really did oh yeah that wasn't a publicity stunt look at that yeah that's crazy man met that face walking up to you they were like at a store I'm a celebrity oh my god I shot out they were huge at one time ghetto boys for sure to life that you we can't be stopped we can't be stopped as a big album they were huge no yeah I still listen to them when I was on the treadmill Stairmaster things whatever the is rap a lot right doesn't that Houston label wasn't that rap a lot yeah they put us on the map yeah rap a lot that's exactly what it was that's right with the teeth Oh Paul wall yeah he still makes teeth that's a good idea for real that's a great

122:06Christmas there's some death squad grills and let's do it will you do it please please do it how many teeth how many just get a romance before oh no like a top sir Bob would we go to Paul and that for sure oh wow what's up Joe Rogan's 1,000 baby got your lips no it's fine man what if it gets hooked up on your wife's that's that's cool too if it's diamonds should be cool with it yanking out of there touches it for the denture grills how much with denture girls let's see that what's the cost on that there you go those are ones you slide right off and on looking diamond grill yeah right what about people that want to be diamond that's 2400 whoa $2,400 for jewelry and your teeth just to let everybody know you're not playing buying right if you meet a dude he's a number of gold teeth like the number of gold teeth he has direct proportion as to whether or not he's a pirate dude

123:05shoot your next special wearing these let me know what timing is meant I'm serious JRE and then put the name of the fresh on the bottom I need a hype man I've been thinking the colony on this I would love to you to figure out like what's my best strategy I'm trying to hype out is that a word you know I would do as soon as you hit like a big punch line I would go and that was funny to get them wrapped up even more Elkin John make sure you just showing up and going yeah yeah fifty grand the I'm sure man well what's the matter John stays pay was like Paris Hilton was like one of the biggest things she had was like those nightclub appearances she'd go in there just pay or go rip the money yeah just show up some guy gave her a club that was called like Club Paris Oh everyone was supposed to come show up and like cuz she's supposed to be there every weekend right she's not going to Orlando

124:06every weekend obviously it was that the idea that he had how coked up are you I know I'm going in business with Paris Hilton I gotta write yeah we'll give her a club that cool you see it you see the connection if you're if you're hearing this guy who made that deal I'm sorry I was joking around I don't really think about one day were that hot like we first going to the comic store sunset when you hit Laurel Canyon it was bumper-to-bumper traffic right okay it was bumper the beer traffic I'm gonna be getting a ticket one time cuz I have my spot was up I just learned in the middle way there was a cop right there way by the standard hmm you know that was when the help and what's the other chick that was getting in trouble Lindsay Lohan's yeah they were out every night sure cause I'm prom and then Lindsay Lohan went to the griddled before court one day she went to that

125:03place that we went to the breakfast place yeah good place and now is it after that the griddle was back for months after that because people thought Lindsay was only going there for breakfast every morning they had those crazy pancakes right it's like good thanks I mean but I'm saying that it's like 18 pancakes and one day like there's your pancakes nuts no you don't kill you thank you you do they certainly offer you like 15 years ago that was fresh stuff yeah friend yeah 15 years ago they had coffee from like Hawaii there yeah they were doing a good job there I just don't like waiting on life thanks bro I'm anti waiting on one I'm not amazed I'm waiting in line we face a period for restaurant I mean when something kind of reasonable fine obviously it's like your table you know the table use to hang it but when they're like this place is awesome just hour and a half like have

125:53you ever done the rankings barbecue in Austin get more help and come out and get more waitresses the what's the hamburger place they do it yeah I think it'd be cool some people sit there for eight bucks an hour for you Ari likes that does sit in there listen nothing I don't want to wait for nothing when I go to breakfast in Hollywood yeah I stopped by the griddle first yeah why get is it still nuts there it's still little wine yeah well if they give me any drama there's a bagel place across the street that's tremendous yeah you get a nice clean turkey Bobby they make fresh front and Turkey and put on your bagel Bobby ain't around check the best wizard job at all Hollywood is Pink's yeah it's the worst they they are goddamned wizards horrific I remember horrific coming like moving here you do and you like that spot there's outline again you get one of those hot dogs who went all the

126:56hot dog yeah you're into hot dogs no actually I feel like you actually why I didn't win you're like this is amazing and then well then you take then you take another bite you're like no I I just I just hype myself on it's taking me yeah but listen us that place is crowded every goddamn night every day no it's about cooking outdoors to having that open window was he walked by you could see them cooking the hot dogs I went in there and the buns were pink the buns were yellow mmm the chili was god-awful you know what the problem is with god-awful the real problem for me is always gonna be that I've had real New York hotdog snap when you bite that bad breath yeah you know there's those type of hot dogs that they what they were making the buns were perfect that they had like a lens go so far with burgers dude no amazing but but there's something about when you snap into one

127:52of those and you taste a real fresh real delicious hot dog tasted regular hot dogs they just don't fly anymore hot dogs you know alcohol isn't some sort of a beef with fans about that it's a bunch of dogs it's got off it's like you read no wheel from American Airlines you think you're poisoning yourself every time I get the old meal from America and I'm like am i poison those Dodger dogs are so bad they're horrible I don't give a what anybody says when I was in the US from junior year what's that word excoriates he excoriates the Dodger dog implores Rams to serve better beef what is that word have you ever seen that word Wow however you are word wizard of Google my junior year in high school mr. Hildebrand took us to the sad brat place just to take us through a little walk you know because well his job was to do was to every month to show us in Korea yeah these and we went to this

129:06this hotdog thing that I don't like we had to take a bus down there have you ever seen that no okay so there's four Puerto Ricans and about boobs and they got yellow suits on and they got those boots on okay and there's a you know when you work on a construction site and you throw the sheetrock in the tube and the tube goes down to the first floor into the dumpster okay so there's a tube like that and then there's this for Puerto Ricans were brewing and then six Porto Ricans with bags of 80 pounds of 90 pound salt this is back in 1980 okay okay you know 90 pounds and there's balance of 90 pounds and everyone somehow the light turns red and this thing just body parts start falling heads shoulders I ball you just see and then these guys the other Puerto Ricans break the bags of salt and put them on this that's falling like it's nonstop BAM and these guys sweep that

130:10into a hole and that's how the hot dog gets but it's everything it's the leg the hoof the arm you know we think what happens to a leg when somebody gets into a car it's on the 4 or 5 we think happens to the leg you think they take it home no they call Hormel first they go home Mel we got a black leg for you it's about 300 pounds I will call you back in five minutes then they call White Castle listen we got a deal for you then they hang up with him and they collagens and they cost a comes they send that leg legs weighs 300 pounds you think they just put that leg away could you imagine if they found out that people was we're grinding up people they found the morgue and he had a friend a supermarket got all the money so at night he'd go kill him in the supermarket and put him in the meat grinder and the next day people come in and put that meat what the were you

131:19eating what do you think was left over in a couple of his murders he had a guy that all the money for he was like wasn't he drowned draining people training people training training people the other guy from the Gambino's owned the chain of supermarkets you know this guy from the camera the other guy from the Gambino's owned great web great white auto immune queens is they have those people that balance your tires you well that legit businesses I was a good way to declare income the other guy had the guy that the heavy guy Conti is something that guy was a known heroin dealer he was on the board of director of noose bombs of a supermarket let me think what this did they had about 30 reps per head about 30 supermarkets in the Jersey area and one day he just called local 202 carpenters and said to me a favor go to every supermarket a denial so every supermarket had an aisle that whatever

132:23they took went directly to the mom whoa so they had 13 supermarkets with like Aisle number five wasn't really on number five nobody know about number five so whatever was bought in that aisle that cash went upstairs for 13 supermarkets on a daily basis then we just go into a supermarket and add two lanes and go we don't even don't worry about those two legs Wow how bizarre is that yeah yeah just it's crazy that the FBI all the people the various law enforcement organizations figured out a way to crack that and break it down they cracked it after they've made 10 million mmm then they cracked it you know losing studio city bro who I just met him at this coffee shop about three months ago and I talk to him all the time and I'm about to sick him loose on people sick of lumps on people who the last Godfather in this country was a guy by the name of Joe something big fat guy he

133:21came out and he may never be shut up he was genius Joe came out of jail I mean everybody shut the social clubs everybody had to have a job everybody had to have a job no drugs everybody stuck to it they were doing phenomenal he was doing phenomenal Joe Massino but somebody was shaking down a restaurant and he went in there and they were givin him twenty thousand a week for security so they couldn't figure out how to get Massino because he wasn't doing anything outside and they got this forensic accountant to go in there and they shut down the mob this guy well this guy retired was in Studio City we were talkin the one day goes for a thousand bucks somebody gives you a hard time you have the right to go in there and look at their books he goes don't bring though he's white it is from Hollywood bring me because I'll find everything in there plus I'll make

134:16them a deal if they don't pay you I called my friends at the IRS and I'll have him here within a day looking through you so we're ready to sick I got one guy I'm ready to stick him on he keeps telling me oh we haven't made any money keep it up keep it up cuz I'm gonna SiC this little and this guy's one of those he's not even Jewish he's just crazy and white but for a thousand bucks he'll go in there and he was the same guy that brought down thousands of people for the FBI when they can't figure you out forensic SIA accounting you're done the math better add up jack Jesus Christ Oh so anybody gives you guys a hard time we don't know we haven't sold a lot of them thousand bucks and he'll go in there he's when you look at him he's one of those white dudes that did 30 years in the Marines that he's pretty serious he goes I'll rip them open for you oh I'll find every dime and

135:11then I'll make them an offer they can't refuse but they got three days to give you a check for the onion whatever or we contact our buddies on the IRS and I have me in 24 hours for looking you until they find something cool is that true can you really do that oh no the you call the IRS and go hey man watch wait till you see the end of the year with all these people who've been talking about Trump you think Kathy Griffin's then I got getting her ass than anybody else you watch I don't trust Trump when it comes to something like that I'm not saying he's a bad dude or anything like that what I'm saying is trouble follows dude you really don't want to mess with I believe that I believe that if people want to put pressure on you they could get you to the IRS I think agencies have been doing it for years I shouldn't even ask what did you guys think of this charlottesville stuff his

136:00reaction to it I think he's just a big failure man I mean what was it what did you feel like he fumbled on what I thought was like two levels like so there's the there's the leadership like presidential level right where you go like this is the office that we look to and then there's like the person so I think he's it's weird how he makes you know everything is about him and and he even started one of those press conferences and it went into like how the economy is doing so like I think it's hard to view that dude morally as somebody that you're I don't know you know that you would enjoy being around as a person and then I get I actually I get what he was trying to do I do - with his criticizing and Tifa and stuff like I I you know I get but like it's the lack of savviness is even maybe more like that in not knowing like this is a time where you do this and not that

137:01that's also something you're like wow like he just just feels like it's he's totally unfit for the job in my opinion well I also feel like when you're the when you're the president the workload must be impossible to imagine before you get in there and once you get in there you're dealing with all these pressures all the super important decisions in all these different areas and then some new comes up I really think I'm not even seen this as a critical of like I don't like him I really think he is and the only a few other people can experience this is truly like holy with what this job entails I think so too I think it's really like one of those things where he's like wow and you can see that he's constantly like he always refers to the campaign still always any converse as you'll talk about like I beat those guys and yeah because I think that's the part that he enjoyed he import' enjoyed

137:53the competition whole days of the campaign and I think like and then you know he's always bringing up like oh the new deck but the Dow was setting records for months and months and months but like he'll still you know tweets will be about that or interviews me about that he can't not make a conversation a statement with I think talking there probably is a connection though between the Dow being up and him being in office and people thinking that he's friendly to business markets love it there's definitely no doubt about that but there's also no doubt that unemployment was at record lows and setting records before yeah and the Dow has been breaking has been on an upswing for years now isn't that how it always is like presidents always come in and take advantage of the upward like there's like the course right but the economy does come in these ebbs and flows it

138:41does come in as and flows in the market inevitably at least in the history of it always comes back always comes back you know if you even if you stayed through like Black Monday if you the market still eventually comes back I'm too stupid to understand that I'm too stupid to get the market you know no no I mean I am in the sense that I'm not really interested in pursuing those lines of thought I get that that's different my brain is just like yeah this seems like a pot of to me I gotta get out of here if I believe this I don't know anything that happened stock market strange no no no I know it some white supremacist for somebody shows oh sure right I don't pay attention yeah how did disconnect myself I don't watch world my crew photo shoot yeah they finished is that sprained that makes everybody gay that they put on frog they're now using a j.crew like you know

139:36Ambercrombie and Fitch does yeah as you walk in and they hit you with that that gay frog spray you know I'm talking about no it makes you gay so a bunch of dudes got crazy tattooed swastikas on themselves took their shirts off they're all walking around with citronella candles that they got from like a hardware store that was the stupidest part of it all that can't they had like torches but they were walking on the street with like come on you guys are walking around with lon torches they're didn't even make the Frankenstein walk we get the mosquito repellents ooh listen dogs I tell you what this is you know what man I have so many things on my plate I had to stop watching and I'm gonna tell you something else I had to sit my wife down like a man and tell her CS NBC was not a lot of the house no more my wife is very political and how to cut her off like I can't have it it

140:34gets overwhelming I can't happen yeah well you know we would go out to dinner and somebody would bring some up and I had a kicker under the table and I've know bad let's not I'm not talking about that yeah you know how you hear that expression more than you know as a kid where people were like never bring up politics or religion right and as a kid you're like I don't understand why that but this is I feel like the age where it becomes the most clear and and at the time where you're like oh I told like we can actually probably have a good time if no one talks about these and it always comes up guys you can't see four people talk for five minutes about anything without somebody bringing some not political yeah and you know what at the end of the week Dawg you still gotta get up and go to work you still got to get up with groceries yes they're gonna wipe your ass yeah all

141:19this knowledge and gops and SLDS I grew up in Hudson County New Jersey which comes in to the Cook County Illinois yeah so I learned about politics and a micro what's a small microcosm yeah yeah and it's a horrible thing I benefited from it I had no show jobs I had a trip down see no jobs yeah I had a no-show job at Horace Mann school when I was a kid I'm going there once a week and pick up a I can laugh at the old janitors I didn't never moved the desk no I'm a carmine got me the job got arrested so but it's I saw the level they're never interested in me I was like these people pukes they're pukes with suits on yeah you know before you guys are talking about taxpayer payer money I want to see the addendum for the 12 idiots that sit there with suits that are old and white and they sit there and huh you know more hours to make a decision that's what my money

142:17goes yeah you know you don't know about bureaucracy till my mother died that's when I learned about bureaucracy anaphor at 15 that's why I don't like it because my mother died I couldn't even collect Social Security without coming up with 92 sheets of paper yeah that's a Social Security number that's a name and that's when she died and that's a death certificate give me my money oh no oh no it's another letter and another meeting and you paid your taxes you paid for this this is your hard-earned money that's when you learn that it's all this is all we are taxed you know of you in four years your kids gonna come tea and go Daddy or your daughter's gonna come tea and go up I want to play basketball you take them down there it they charge you 85 to sign up 32 for this shirt which really is worth $8 on the in the black market and then you got to pay the sneakers

143:16which are $100 when I was a kid drunk Texas below I went to Union City I told him I want to play basketball they put you on a team they give you a shirt and you play it every week for free it didn't cost you anything look at the I don't even know about taxes or anything Joe all I know about is when I go buy a plane ticket and I look at those prices and I go what about the family or two that isn't doing that well yeah what about the if I was if I was really for tax or I'm I have felonies I can't vote so I don't even let that thing go on my mind what about the 15 hours I got to pay for parking when I go to a UFC event yeah what about the 184 dollars for a Laker ticket a hundred hours for a baseball ticket when does it end that's what I'm concerned about I don't give a about anything else I want them to bomb Isis now today but everything else for me applies to the American

144:13family yeah that the American family does not stand a chance in this country no more if your wife works and you have to pay day care what are you bringing home what are you clearing after daycare right somebody was telling me for summer camp in Studio City it's two hundred a week that's eight hundred a month for the average person what's the average person making this country Joe Rogan so your taxes again used for my taxes are getting used for because they're not going to where they're supposed to go 800 a month is like what is that like nine thousand ninety six hundred a year that's a lot of money but foot and the girl was telling me that her son has to volunteer and help other kids to get that rate you know city and I just was telling them kindergarten at monarch is thirty thirty four thousand dollars what is it in the valley and you know don't even mind the other two with his

145:17denzel's daughter went to school oh my god oh my and by the way we're talking about all this like it's a big deal if we were living in Manhattan don't be a bargain bargain that's what I would like to think about politics I think about people who are struggling that have two children and they can't go to a Dodger game how many baseball games as a kid right I can't tell you how many I went to as a kid yeah yeah but these families cannot afford a Dodger game well I'm a Savage my uncle loves baseball he's an old man I would go to Costco and for $50 I get two tickets two hotdogs two sodas in a parking spot I don't care about the game I take can be 74 once magic took over the Dodgers they don't give you that deal no more you know it seems like it's like if you have a giant population like we do in LA and something like a Dodger ticket or something even though it's a giant

146:10number of people yeah it's still a small percent edge of this huge population I guess they just realize anybody does this realize is you just jack it up higher you're gonna get a smaller percentage people but they're still enough people right exactly like why would we do that right let's do that let's just make more and then if you you know how it is when you go to a theater or something like that yeah it's got to be twice that if you're is there some sort of a baseball game or something like that or one of those huge stadiums think about all the people gonna have to get paid all the people that are working there while you're working they're like just a giant staff of humans that have to keep that thing running smooth you know what about the American family that flies I'm also gonna bring a water it's four dollars and fifty cents for a bottle of water damn is their charging I thought the

146:53water was free give you a cup of water no a couple water winneth and then when you go through tsa you can't bring the water through you can't but you can you can buy water on the other side there's not if Joe Rogan you just barely getting by yeah and you have three kids and it's three dollars a water yeah I mean that's the that as always certainly break small guy the guy that wants to take the guy that works he's divorced he pays child support he wants to take his kid to a Dodger game and for him together ticket he's gonna say with gangbangers and wear a helmet and the money guard suit yeah and you know you smoke pot now at Dodger Stadium really there's a little section supposedly that you walk to the left and people's parking over there is that true just do it man if anybody would let it go it's LA right yeah it's got more tolerance for weed than LA yeah always did you see

147:46that video I don't know where the had happened I think it was on the Instagram feed clown in the homie I don't know if you know that one they always have some fun stuff up there but there's a big giant white guy this black cop beats the out of him tasers him beats the out of him with a club and then eventually they tasered him from behind another guy got on me felm banged his head off the ground and the whole time the guy was saying like I am NOT fighting you I'm not fighting you and they just beaten on him with this poll that job and I've said it a million times is not for everybody and it's one of the most difficult jobs of the world being cop yep yeah and what we're seeing when we're seeing like that guy that shot that woman in the alley this guy getting beat up by this metal pipe of Baltimore cops man evidence and drugs how long you know michoacán 20 years I did time

148:37though they use a verb ever ever haven't heard me say some crazy don't crazy but you've never heard me say the word Pig yeah no I have the most respect for police officers it's a small percentage of people a stressful job but something's going on now it's not just stressful what about two days ago there's nine minutes with the gun to the black couple why he was getting his license and they kept saying please put the gun away and the guy held the gun there is sure and then I love when if they shoot a black person they just get like the black da they go up there saying well we looked this year they beat up that black metonic kid downtown eight cops to beat up a black and then the kid died and they said it's the black kids fault he's eight cops on top of them beating them but this goes on constantly and you know what's gonna happen and you know what's gonna happen you know exactly

149:30what's kind of happen two or three years from now all it takes is three angry black guys three angry black guys with a surplus to spread the word it was done with the Black Panthers it was done fee is three and a back-slapping black guys and they're gonna start going around in cities and saying there's a fire and when all these cops show up they're gonna be on rubes and they're gonna open up on them this is gonna happen in American cities so don't tell me this is gonna happen yeah three black guys that went to the service that got weapons like I told you unless you're you can't get weapons today I get I get you whatever the you want and something I get you something an hour an hour I'll get you something to go fight I believe you so never mind assault rifles and like that right that's all you need is five assault rifles and say that a woman is getting raped at the end of

150:24Cherokee Street and wait for 20 cops to come and open up on them dogs all headshots headshot some leg shots that's gonna happen eventually because this cannot continue this cannot continue I think most people that become cops have a very difficult time doing it I think for some people it's unmanageable and I think if you think about all the interactions that all the police officers have with all the people all day long all across the country the vast majority of it is inconsequential it's people traffic violations little things here and there but there's going to be a percentage what is that percentage is it even 1% I don't know what it is but if that 1% gets online we focus on that 1% so whether it's that guy planting drugs in Baltimore or these guys beating up this giant white guy that was giant but he wasn't threatening them in any way just didn't want these guys like

151:15danger in them yeah and I think there's just way too few people that are capable of navigating the wall the waters of that kind of job I think that kind of job is almost it's almost as bad or as difficult rather as being in the military your life is on on the line you're at risk all the time constantly you know and people call you a cop apologist if you looked at it like that listen man if the goes down someone's breaking into your house you're calling the cops man ok that's what they're here for and to pretend that you don't need them is your crate wokai maybe someday we won't but right now you need cops for sure and then you definitely need each other they need cops too and they know it and they and they see it more than you do because they're the ones who responds to murders and armed robberies and rapes they're the ones who have to show up and handle car accidents on the highway with

152:09I mean how much special training do they have it they get to deal with bodies that are torn apart how much special training no I know I'm not sure I'm not sure you could even adequately train a person these some people can handle it period but there's some people they see some dark and they just don't recover and then you ask those people just hello but I also think that they should train the cops a little more I see a lot I don't think you have the money I say I agree with you I agree with you I see a lot of dumb in LA bro you know times you're on Hollywood Boulevard bumper to bumper and you go to see what it is and it's a cop double-parked giving a homeless guy a hard time yeah pull the cop in you pull the car and you scumbag can you tell it's four o'clock in this traffic they don't care they don't give a you know once I yelled one day I yell from the car and they looked at me

152:57I yell really guys 8:00 in the morning double parked really no genius here and this smoke coming out his mouth while he screaming you want to give me a ticket when we go to court we'll talk about and now we all got phones now we all got phones and videos no that's what's very dangerous is these laws against people filming cops while they're doing like you can't have that no is that really a lot of them yes it is there are several places where it is illegal to film cops while they're doing things Wow fine it's federally it's not I mean I know for sure the police have tried to tell people it's not but I'm pretty sure my spread and fake news it's like oh no it's like I know that they can let's find out at this pace are there places where it's illegal to film the cops I know they can tell you like if there's a situation going down I felt like I was lying eyes are that that

153:56you can they can tell you that they need a certain I got a bit of space but I don't think they can tell you to stop filming hmm that's interesting we should go to Vegas and there was altercation and there were these smart kids and the cops kept telling them they had to get off and they would take they would shooting the cops and tell them that it was there right here we go taking photographs and videos of things that are plainly visible in public spaces is a constitutional right and that includes police and other government officials carrying out their duties however there is a widespread and continuing pattern of law enforcement officers ordering people to stop taking photographs or video in public places and harassing detaining and arresting those who fail to comply the right of citizens to record the police is a critical check and balance it creates an

154:41independent record of what took place in the in a particular incident ok well that that's so that seems like maybe what I was reading was about people that got arrested for it so the cops were arresting them for but either even though it's not really illegal I mean they can still arrest you for a lot of things then you get a court in them figure out the arrests so if a cop arrests you for not listening to him so if your if say if a cop is arresting someone and you're filming it because he's kicking this guy's ass and you start filming it and the cop says if you do not put that camera down I will arrest you and they can still arrest you they could say you're obstructing justice or right well the reason they would say not to turn the cameras off who's doing something wrong well so I got you there right it's like hard to stay on the right path and not go straight Dirty Harry if some

155:27guys trying to kill you and you're you're you know you're involved in some situation and then you see people filming it - man I wouldn't want to navigate any of the that cops have to go through on a daily basis all me neither me neither but they also have to they gotta clean it up a little bit and when they do something wrong and we watch it on film they can't tell us that the cop was justified to do something that was a lot of calm that I mean there was 37 murders in Chicago you know and those places a high level but there's a lot of times I've seen cops act a little too much for what the situation in cost well I grew up in Jersey what cops come and they talk to you they ask you they separate you and they determine if this was even worth the angle right these guys today they'll come in even if we do something at the store they'll come in the store and investigate him for what would you

156:30do go chase him chase some bank robber the day after 9/11 I pulled into 7-eleven and a guy had pulled over the line okay you know his car pulled over the line so my car was over the line the guy next to me in the hall cause I pulled in I was six inches over a handicapped thing on the blue line yeah cut made a u-turn and came and gave me a $458 talk I understood I was wrong but with this we just blow up the World Trade Center yeah you ain't got nothing better to do you know I see kinky all the time if I'm not involved so it's got nothing to do with me part of the problem is cops there's a statistic number that they have to reach right like if they believe that certain amount of traffic violations taking place in LA there's a strong influence on those guys to write a certain amount of tickets whether you call it a quota anymore because I think those things are Shawn they say they

157:30don't have a quota but they have something if there's there's some barrier there out there yeah there's some severe incentive and if you don't meet the numbers that they expect and they in in some way shape or form think you're not addressing some of the crimes that are being committed out there I'm sure you get a hard time for it listen brother when I got arrested in 87 that Detective that from Boulder who I liked you know he got me for four years and he thought he was what we know like going home you know like when they were sitting when they locked up Gotti the Teflon Don he loved you know what are you talking about you could have got me for 22 years you done your homework that couple of dollars just a little bit he I would have done 23 years how many times I sat next time of the preliminary hearing and I'm like I hope this dude don't recognize me because yeah come to talk

158:25to me about something else the same cop a year earlier put it together and that would have got me more in the kidnapping so every time I saw this cop I would sit there at the end I would just call him like a big dope because he was six foot four with the big chest with the bulletproof your dummy it's like that kid a couple weeks ago that pushed that little Mexican hot dog cart you'll never hear from him again little Argentinian dude that pushed that little dope Mexican dude with it with the fruit cart Jesus Christ Joe Rogan watch lions attacking a monkey but you haven't seen of something that way a couple of weeks ago with some poor little Mexican do with selling hot dogs on the corner and some little he thought he was one of those dudes with the skinny jeans with a Guns and Roses shirt him and his fat white ugly girlfriend went up to the dude and told him to move

159:25you never saw this they told them to move the man harasses food vendor flipping oh my god Joe Rogan huh look at this jerk-off looking with a dog you could tell you the what happened he told to move little speck kid turns out of this camera we move it why because he's he's a skinny jean guy with that dirty filthy white animal of a girlfriend look at him so he wants to be a tough guy with his fidel beard watch what happens though but look at the Mexican before he threw that red pepper right his face look this is what I saw white people did what we're calling the police that dude had to pick up and move let me tell you what those could you see those carts with the umbrellas haven't you noticed a lot more of those carts that have the rainbow umbrella Tom Segura I've seen a few you know why no at the cartel really remember years ago when you first moved to LA that was star maps

160:50what's going on here at the rest of it Jamie guy takes off his shirt do they get in a fight after this no he threw the pepper riders face the hot pepper tremendous you guys just took his shirt off yeah see because he to pepper in his face little foot he's still hanging out like right there it's weird because they took the cops are gonna come people came to help this little Mexican dude but that dude had to leave town with his fat disgusting filthy girlfriend the tight jeans because you know runs those things the cartel that's why you see so many more was his B's didn't like it they just didn't wanna make cause it's like Silver Lake and he's special he's a white dude with a skinny jeans a little fidel beard you know what I've noticed man there's a lot of people that think that it's okay to be aggressive because they're in the right but they come with a dog dog ain't

161:43nothing gonna go down that's a that dude was a that poor kid let me tell you something the cartel brings the code up and fruit they chop up the fruit then they sell the fruit they don't make a don't make a loss they have these new umbrellas everywhere and they have them even across the street from each other they don't sell drugs that's what they make the cash drop offs I've had people see them all away from San Diego all the way the receiver they're all on the main strips and they're all confused that's why they're around she's DEA don't catch them they don't drop off drugs they just drop off an envelope with a number on it number a 52 that's rude you're Rogen's number and then some guy comes that day and picks up all the envelopes and goes right to ends to need and that's the end of the day when we first got here with star maps yeah and what was they turned

162:30out to be a Spanish prostitution ring was it really yeah they were those little Mexican kids up the airs they jumped the wall to stretch the muffler out some white dukkha mini Elavon I gotta pee I'm trying to hold the same you didn't know that no no I didn't know that that star maps I even made a movie about it what star maps you really went out there with the title what's the weight they made a movie about it yeah and this was what you could bro the tagline down there if you can read it Tom yeah Carlos wants to be an actor but his father Pepe wants him to work in the family business that is male prostitution Carlos decides that he will be one of his father's boys until he can what in the man star max I had no idea 1997 that's good that's so nuts no idea that's for people that don't know that's the people that used they sold maps to celebrity homes right that was the world

163:38a sunset when you first got here in 98 there was a thousand of those mooks on Sunset you know yeah yeah and Hollywood right yeah and they're still out there they still are but at which is less Hoenn is involved with that well no I don't see the star I see the star vans I don't see the star maps I don't see the so much better what are you gonna do with our lives that's the thing where does it all go man a thousand podcast now it's changed society you a changed us they've changed us for sure it's uh you tap in all the people thing although if you leave that on the conversations you've had with those people you know how much that would you ever have if it wasn't for doing your podcast you know it changes you change the way you think of things it changes me for sure it changed a lot of the way I think of things because I get any chance to sit down with you over

164:53hours and hours uninterrupted no phone calls no messages no text messages to be able to do that on a regular basis you get to know people in a like a way different way you don't really get a chance to do that with each other that often you know to sit down and just have no distractions just you and a friend having a conversation laughing talk and about things well the cool thing is that's the experience people are getting listening to it yeah that's why you know how much time how many times have we been on the road and we went to a diner afterwards and we were laughing literally until we in tears yeah falling down like we were doing podcast it was just nobody listening don't lecture crying and laughing you know like the three of us it's some strange Nashville it's I understand totally is what happened today it's the same thing exactly exactly exactly not so cool to replicate

165:48there's left in that joint over there shout out to LA speed weed momentum and keep it keeping it strong you know what they gotta do though they gotta be careful with these things they give you these feeling this it's made out of actual glass the thing that the weed comes in and breaks in your pocket oh that's no good yeah that's not good this one is superior like when you go to a plastic at a hotel like a finds and they give you glasses and then there's two glasses by the sink like what the those pretentious weed guys yeah oh man well it's clearly an indica probably the South American strain like I micro dosed huh the other side it might be BC it might be BC yes I'm pretty sure pretty sure it's like maybe maybe Seattle maybe Seattle no it's Northwest man just Northwest it's like basically the good stuff Joe we adrenaline wow I forgot there's a show tonight yeah I'm gonna forget a lot of

167:05along the way yeah I feel like it's CPM we talked about some earlier that was the funniest ever said in my life but if anybody asked me like how's the podcast today oh dude Joey Diaz went on a rant it was the funniest thing I ever heard in my life then he go what is it about ago couldn't die ya know I also couldn't tell you what the last thing we talked about is whatever is important something important these things change us man I know your your podcast changing you Joey you know it's can it's connecting you with those people that like to come out to see you in a way that nothing else has ever had before you know no the biggest thing about the podcast is keeps me in check it keeps up in Jack you substance check yeah we gotta stick to what we say yeah we gotta preach what we talk about you know accuses in check man yeah there's no more we got somebody

167:59watching this now that you know so it's pretty interesting to me it does keep being checked but it also it's it's um ultimately satisfying to you you know to just stay in check you know it's like think about what you're doing say say things that are as accurate as you possibly know be honest about how you know how you're thinking about these things like where you're drawing your conclusions from totally people don't have a chance to do that that often they don't have to be accountable for their own thoughts you know not not to the level of like someone who is hosting a podcast or someone who's constantly being reviewed by people you know and people do hold you accountable to do they do and that's why I like a bus they should if I get to do a periscope in the morning and I tell people I'm gonna do jitsu today I get 20 tweets sent in there yeah I wasn't what did you learn I

168:49didn't go because are you yeah do you guys listen bro let me tell you something the doctor told my mother to stop drinking she's not drinking and 11 days later she was dead that's why I believe you always got to have a shot at something I'm talking about drinking a bottle at night I'm not a big believer in anecdotal evidence unless it benefits me so in that case one two notes ain't gonna kill nobody you were saying doctors say do this cyka lemme you good sir when you drink these things cause that's nothing I love the white dudes I love crazy white people do you like I don't like these Alex oh you like nice white people they drive me with but what about Charlottesville kind of crazy white people like where do you draw the line I like white people who bring a bottle of bourbon but the most important thing is they bring a bag guys cuz they are you with the ice okay yeah when the

169:57white dude shows up with a bag ice that's a man of class style is sophisticated don't put in the freezer leave it right there that means they drop one ice cube in there every 20 minutes and they got a time that's not the whole thing yeah it's the ice yeah I totally agreement if you go over his dudes house and he's got a walk-in humidor filled with cigars do you go huh yeah Milo what the are you doing man what are you doing with your time you got a walk-in humidor I feel like aged matches up with cigars in a way that few things do like an old dude with a cigar is like I want to hang out with him I'm gonna have the drink I want to hear what he has to say yeah like a 22 year old what's ago I'm like get the out of here you can't you're like white t-shirt with the leather vest you know coolest moment look cool smoking cigar Tony Soprano oh yeah I need the cigar you know why I

170:57bet James Gandolfini really enjoyed smoking a cigar so he's like actually enjoying the cigar while he's acting like he's enjoying several enjoys at your room you want me to tell you something that's the first guy I could say that like door a couple weeks ago I went back to my hotel room the original guy the way it was on with Steve McQueen and I think I forgot do you forget your rodent mmm look I get tears in my eyes he's in the dumpster with that after the thing tripped him over and she's telling them all he's like well we should just break ways and she's like well obviously you can't get over me having sex with somebody else that you're a mental oh and Steve McQueen bro he just grabbed her by the hand you find then he goes back to the hotel he shoots all those rednecks oh we forget how bad Steve McQueen we look at him look at this look at this man of a

171:55man that he was there's there's my man salaat so from the Godfather watch Steve McQueen with a suit on this is 1973 dog he's so smooth this is not the scene you gotta put on the scene is when he beats up Ali MacGraw and she thought it was acting and he just liveth he breathed pretty much smack the out of her she didn't know but he would smack the outta every other day for some reason or another he was like he was like you know you gotta kick out once a day somewhere in the back and the stomach shut the this woman was number one look at the natural beauty on this woman and look at this blonde savage of a man look at them well Steve McQueen gets out of the car and he just starts walking in front of the car does he smack her after this watch he was no he had two beautiful alright look at him with his black suit on he's furious fine hair I'd wear my hair like

173:13that yes I work me too like my head start to fall I upper grays igloo I figured out the time you don't wanna lose your phrasing a little more it won't go nowhere now she's getting out of the car she looks upset very emotional yeah a year is this 72 I was nine I want to see this the first weekend my mother goes what you get to see Steve McQueen are you crazy Wow oh Jesus Christ oh dude he's hitting there for real she didn't know she's gonna hit she didn't know oh my god man Jesus man euros last time you saw it you got to see this and if you really want to see a beatin you gotta pull out the longest yard with Burt Reynolds in the beginning when he grabs him by the throat and hits her with the bottle of something this is Burt we watch it here but this this is up because this is crazy you you know he's really hitting her yeah he told you wanted her it's like

174:45when Sean Penn did that close range with with whatever yeah and he kept shooting a gun and finally Sean Pangos give me the gun cuz you're not reacting the right way you're not being scared so he shot a real gun at Christopher Walken Christopher Walken talks about it all the time look at this Savage go knows the movie oposition Jesus Christ Jesus Christ it's amazing what forty years has done yeah people used to be be a lot how beautiful she was us beauty ever see I'm splitting man look at his body but this guy was not juicing this guy is nuts you all-american son of a yeah this is like a soap opera from Mexico this is a soap opera from Mexico bro totally is so remember the 70s everybody had booze net and TV everybody Leila everybody's house had booze Nutella Mira miss soy Burt Reynolds yeah yeah well well so hostile oh my god she bit him oh she threw some at them this is a

176:44Mexican soap opera sorry Oh fake slapped that was a real throw that was a real throw that throw the ground seems super real that would hurt your hip that's a hard floor didn't even give her a cushion man like look at what's going on yeah there was an actress an entire revolution yeah would you let Burt Reynolds throw you to the ground no no no not that year dude getting thrown now hurts that hurts like she just ricocheted off the ground a hundred percent that wasn't a stunt person yeah geez jerk off to this stuff weird question out dog gets into his car super weird he starts it up Joe Rogan Joe Rogan you ready for this he gets in his without and begins he starts it up and also you're here Saturday night let it skin it that's awesome to play that part oh yeah yeah as soon as then he gets this class black the car and that's what's on the rape look at what here we go Burt Reynolds that box

178:08that's a Maserati it's like an Avanti it's like oh that's hilarious whoa the cops should call the cops whoa that car is so fast oh my god meanwhile that car handles like total dog what is it oh no but I mean those cars back then even the best ones handled like that thing has skinny tires a caveman suspension but it probably did Drive a lot better than those police cars though police cars like the worst cars you could drive you trying to catch somebody they have four doors you want a car that has two doors yes no sports car it's got a good balance and something go around corners quick with you know like race cars aren't big long for doors that's a lot of extra weight nuts yeah I haven't like a police car like but today they have police cars today they like they can make like Mustangs they turn them into police cars yes God's charger yeah yeah dude there's some scary cars today when

179:31it comes to like a car pulling you over like if the cops have that new Dodge demon have you seen that thing yeah that's nuts 800 horsepower zero to 60 in like two seconds like they can't love it they make sure like I love it too it doesn't work if it's colder than 15 degrees out Dubai has the world's fastest police car who have a Bugatti oh my god to PI ballin they'd fallen so strong so boy they're all so strong I mean if you just respect bond you gotta forget about cultural differences you'll respect their ball Dubai does it well if you if you do it up even a little bit I don't give a stop stop making excuses they ball harder than anybody yeah they have an indoor ski place that you could have in the desert did he an indoors like that reserved right there no but there was a fight in Abu Dhabi and we did the weigh-ins in Dubai that's cool it was weird man there's much money

180:25there that was innocent against Damien my oh my yeah and Frankie Edgar versus BJ Penn to to really have crazy crazy money oh I think it's off the charts you know I think I don't think he even understand oil money you know yeah like what we make we think we're doing good yeah these guys like in it's like many generations of having that kind of cash it's a different level of cash there for now yeah big family wealth yeah it gets passed down that's where the ghee this is yeah old white money ain't no strong a gang in that they have interior surf places too we have no surfing it's nuts man you run a surfboard is that where the government like will give citizens money that just want to do anything really yeah yeah my Dubai I thought so maybe I have it wrong but my cousin came here to study English like from Peru so he had a class with a bunch of people from different countries

181:21I thought he said this classmate from Dubai would be like everybody wanna go out on Saturday like it's all good and would pick people up in like you know limo buses and he's like hey who's paying for this oh I got it any like and then was telling them like he was like happy you're just gonna pay this he's like look they've just given to me man I got spend all this I don't even know what's a douche Jesus corns just buying everybody drinks food going to Vegas like 15 people he's just in class with yeah nobody balls harder than them yeah it's pretty out of control everywhere he goes Ferraris Bentleys Lamborghinis there's like ridiculous there's cars that I feel like it would be ridiculous to show up well how about one of those Bentley's that they have or one of those Bugattis rather that they have as a police car it's insane isn't that like two and a half million bucks

182:10yeah so much mile I think look mother has like six he's got like a whole friggin white he's like white is right I got a bunch of cars just give him a few thought cuz he went so deep so you know well it's more than you want to pay yes it's in the 20 plus million dollar range it's a lot of money man but it's not something that he's been it's not like deception no it's just neglect to think like and it's also like I think and there is like a truth to this he makes so much money there's probably a point when they're like hey it's time to pay your taxes and you go like alright here's a check for twenty five million dollars that's an incredible amount of money and then they go that's true but you owe fifty more and he's just like that's that can't be right you know I was twenty five million dollar yeah like what are you talking about man he's bought over a hundred luxury cars

183:17in the same dealer and always pays in cash fifteen million worth of car congratulate he doesn't drive I like it good you can sell those they're worth a lot of money you can get that money - yeah you know it's um it's it's just it's it's really interesting in the amount of money that he's able to generate yeah you know he's figured out some pretty incredible he's a great villain - man oh is it brilliant at it I mean it's just a brilliant defensive boxer Oh skill wise off the charts what I'm saying that guy should get more credit for what he does as a skilled businessman and psychological you know warrior like you should get a lot more credit for it yeah I think so too I think there it's it's arguable that you know he's enjoying it and he enjoys playing the villain role and joys like flashing all the money and if he is really enjoying it like don't you love that and respect that thing what

184:12is that car that thing looks amazing a CC XR is that a Khanna sig yeah okay they say that cone that's a word that I've never seen I need me I can't say it I love to that he starts his post with the amount like to remind people come at my new car yeah my new 4.8 thank you say that Koenigsegg Koenigsegg Koenigsegg Cohen seg Cohen Cohen Cohen Cohen a Koenigsegg Jesus Christ Koenigsegg CCX that's a ridiculous name yeah changed your name the cars dope you were saying I think so yeah oh yeah I'm in DC both are working during this fight you were I had it already now me too I already booked way in advance now it's my dad's birthday I'm going a big birthday celebrate finding out what happened and then watch you know it depends man it's a we haven't I don't know I'm gonna gauge also his interest in it you know I always try to get home before I find out anything or watch it

185:20before I find out anything and I always fail to do so you always cannot give in I give any temptation happen Nevada fine now it's hard I go online let me check real quick yes and my worth what if they tell me it's a five-round boring decision you know of a title fight and this one's gonna be 12 rounds boxing I know it's gonna be it's it's exciting event it's one of those like you you'll remember like the excitement to tune in so I think we were gonna want to watch it you know Conor McGregor's a magic person yeah like legitimately like to get this many people so hyped up about this fight yeah it's not just about his performances his fights it's also about like wanting to believe that there's a dude you pull it all off yeah it's like a magic person do you feel like in the lead-up to the fight like as we get closer your opinion on it has changed at all oh yeah I'm a

186:11sucker for a good hype job dude that's why I'm a good hype man right right yeah I'm a sucker for believing all that stupid I thought Gerry Cooney had a chance against Larry Holmes when I was in high school yeah I saw Gerry Gerry Cooney knock out Ken Norton was like he might have a chance who was the other white dude that was the great white hope that I think for Larry Holmes may need to and he wouldn't make eye contact no not Chuvalo June of 82 82 oh Galata was a gallano and you know ya know Gerry Cooney is the guy that is that the guy you're thinking of okay yeah that's Gerry Cooney yeah that's the guy I was talking about white dude yeah when I was in high school really who's the white dude from Bayonne that formerly mo the Bayonne bleeder yes weapon yeah he's the guy that they based the movie Rocky on because they didn't expect him to survive and he kept

187:10surviving he kept moving forward and Chuck Wepner was the guy I think that was one of the inspirations for the movie Rocky cuz that guy's just kept plotting forward in Muhammad Ali beat the out of him but I don't think he stopped him damn yeah look at that cracker face man yeah dude he got dropped there look at that man Muhammad Ali in his prime was so Magic what he could do as far as like movement his ability to like move in and out slide around a lot of people thought he was doomed when he was gonna fight Sonny Liston like there is no way this kid is in a so much trouble all he could do is like box around and move and move fast but Sonny Liston is a murderer murderous puncher yeah and he got like he beat the out of Floyd Patterson it's like the way he would beat those guys he was like oh Jesus nobody can stand in front of him like very Rumble Johnson esque

188:07you know maybe even more so on his power yeah it was like that it's not taking place today spot you know it's us it sucks about not living through an era is you can never fully appreciate it totally much as you want to know like I already know I've had enough lessons about Ali you know but like you're like oh man I really wish I would have lived through it like I already see it now I became conscious of it now because of basketball because people are always always doing this Jordan or LeBron you know argument this hypothetical and like you go back and forth but like you real is the first time I realized there's people arguing who weren't alive during that Jordan craziness and I'm like oh you don't know what the you're talking about right now you have no idea what that was like you can pull up any statistic you want you have what you know you don't feel that you didn't

189:01watch that dude become a Savage like a goddamn a you know Spanish conquistador in the NBA where you could not believe what a killer he was like right you've never seen that level of competitiveness and how like how that dude could dominate we've never seen but there's people I realize they're like oh no I've seen highlights and I'm like no you don't get it like you don't get how dominant he was Jordan yeah Jordan like yeah if you saw Jordan dominant it was the craziest ever the first time I saw Jordan fly from the foul line through the air and slam dunk a ball I'm ever thinking hat how does a person how does a person even do that with their body yeah chief he literally flew the air and slam dunk this ball and I'm not exaggerating where it was like basically where the foul line was he went flying took an extra favor Joella one favor yeah you put on the top

190:01ten dunks by Julius Erving oh just one second Jordan well that'll break because before LeBron there was yeah Jordan yeah for Jordan there was a guy from Long Island Julia sure sure and he used to kill one team the best dunks of all time were done by him against the Lakers here guys this isn't this isn't well this is a regular one yeah okay this is nothing okay oh that this is against Luke watch this one one-handed that's just superb that's superb watch this boom and bam over again seven foot four and he's six foot six he is against look at this BAM okay my favorite was Darryl Dawkins over a hooker Bryce's go cook with coke from the top of refrigerator with his back run this back dog he was oh he was gonna call my podcast but he died no no that's against bill walk look at this one I guess my god that was this guy that's beautiful the elevation man the problem is that's

191:23what everybody wants to see you don't want to see all the leading up to the yeah it's like when I watch them all this was traumatic hurry up against the Mormon trail blazes look at the baguettes Bill Walton no one kept calling for a foul look at them bill worn all this look at them look a you're gonna be the loss but I'm slamming right in your face see but one was called for a foul you know what I feel like if you have a dishonorable claim and a foul if you're doing something like those soccer players do sometimes yeah this one you should lose points look at this one Joe Rogan is the one I bet I won I had the sixes in Philly is Michael Cooper is he magic bean I was there they gave you a theory hamburgers I was down to him fly look at him he was never getting appointed elfia okay now go to ten greatest Michael Jordan dunks oh my god and prepare yourself for a Avatar movie yet

192:19on the toilet get on the toilet right now is the ball boy for the nets and you find out a lot about basketball players first of all do you know basketball players throw away their sneakers after every game it's crazy they lot of them do so he would take the sneakers and sell him on them on the before eBay he would take the net sneakers his Selim look at this crazy come on man that looked like somebody pressed controls and then a body did that he has some spectacular airtime oh man look at this he just flies in there man I wonder what's like the record distance I know I said from the free-throw line but what's like the record distance if someone's ever dunk from you know who's a Palicki who's way crazier 82 the dunker though 18 18 it's 15 from the free throw and it's 18 from the top of the key someone a ton 20 Julius Erving oh my all the time in the things what that not

193:15David Thompson he's shaking his head Jamie sake saying no boy that's about as far as anyone's done the free-throw think maybe 50 think yeah that's still insane to say now it's done like a foot or two behind it now have you ever seen Vince Carter's dunks because that dude is 40 let's well indeed let's enjoy these first yeah yeah these are amazing go to Vince Carter but let's enjoy these for a moment cuz these respect I mean Jordan was just some weather for Hannah it's AB it's a beautiful thing another planet Tom Segura I'm watching 3430 yeah and I want to call Joe Rogan and call him because I know he's not that sport like the one about Detroit when they beat him up really mess yeah he decided to lift weights trying to get on that yeah he said this ain't ever gonna happen look at this donkey was when he was like done what Joe Rogan oh yeah he's way look at the way he'll is yeah because

194:09then when he went and got on really lifted against the Detroit Pistons but Joe Rogan as a basketball enthusiast and I called Dahmer ever there's only one the greatest dunk of all time and because he jumped over a who did that this car that's him talking over and until you a man fly Drexler oh yeah I guess Louisville 1981 put it on the Wizards a dunk and Houston was called phi slamma jamma because that's all they did was dunk there's a few athletes that I feel like even from our era you could bring two today and they would be super successful like Marvin Hagler is one of them I'm so ready boom no ice not the ones on that that's not the one no there's a few athletes that I think you could take today and they would be super successful like for sure Julius Erving for sure Michael Jordan for sure for sure yeah Johnson for sure no matter what like bring him into this

195:22era they'll be successful in almost any yeah I'll never forget I was in a bobble who died Vince Carter dude I was at a bar one night and there was a Cuban dude and he was passed out like this Joe Rogan can you find the video Joey of the dude they he jumped over the dude look at this what's this this is Vince Carter he rubbed his nuts on that dudes head watch that again watch this he rubbed his nuts on that detail yeah it's incredible he went over that dudes head just dude still dunk like he's 40 that's insane that's an athlete when we were in high school he was in high school for a minute close to us he jumped over that guy they would show his high school highlights on local news like it was they would come like an NBA game dude look at look I know it's he's rubbing his dick on that guy's ear watch well he's as much his face right he's mine him directly through the ear oh and then

196:26slams that that's insane yeah no Roy Jones jr. was like that Roy Jones jr. in his prime had some athleticism that didn't even make sense he was able to land a lead left hook instead of a jab where a lot of guys shot in a jab Roy Jones jr. he like most of the time led with a lead left hook whoa Jesus that guy can fly yeah you know I could REM dunk that's the arm and rim dunk ladies and gentlemen so much more difficult to the right think about you gotta worry about breaking david thompson had a forty eight jump vertical way inch I think about that that was thirty years ago I can't imagine the kind of vertical jumps college players they had to be up to 60 55 inches those defensive backs Michael Irvin Michael Irvin could jump four feet in the air yeah that's how he became like 1 1 a.m. he's a freak the kitchen with giants with the blond hair now that lowdown back I see him my Jake

197:27glaze his plate ain't no bigger than you though Odell Beckham big lasers got a hell of a gym huh I saw Stallone was working out there with Chuck Liddell's like what kind of crazy gym you have you know see that football players and whiners all day long training what's it called again something bottom performance unbreakable I'm great breakable yeah the owner is your move man good move on his part he was a linebacker from Chicago that's a that's a smart move you know be a part of some sort of a cool strength look at that dog this is an injury on hand well athletes are always getting better right if you go back to baseball from the 1950s and then go to baseball in 2017 you're seen better and better athletes you're seeing people that are just faster smarter trained better you know use better nutrition they're optimizing themselves the best they can the question is like I wonder like

198:26genetically was half I wonder if like people genetically are getting bigger and faster I wonder if it's like a little slight uptick that will one day maybe 20 years now 30 years from now register in a big way because you got a wonder with all these people competing in CrossFit and all the strength and conditioning stuff people's bodies might start literally thinking they have to work harder again I have to get stronger and bigger again people might get bigger this is my terrible understanding of genetics as apply I'm sold on it based on that alone did I spit in a cup dog I'm waiting I got another three weeks I spit in a cup to see who I'm related to do you see that thing about all those white races what found out they were black people in their pasts credit the test for that reason yeah you know who you could talk about cuz if you find out like I could talk about Italians sure cuz

199:29I'm mostly Italian yeah you know so most people wouldn't consider a bad thing well you black Sicilians got raped by the Moors and then the more and then the Sicilians one night on the night of the Vespers and 1600 got up and they cut their dicks off and shoved them in their mouth what that's why you can't talk about rape in front of most Sicilians neither the Vespas is an old Sicilian tradition ago that's why those Sicilians are good with knives crazy now it's Sicilians are good with knives they tell you keep them at arm's distance but with old Sicilians don't with them cuz they got those knives they're good with those knives and it's crazy Cubans my sister's dark skin and then I look at my cousin who's my skin and his sister the singer is dark-skinned yeah so I know there's some African in my blood it's Cuba who's um what's the band's name ex Alfonso Teddy aqui aqui

200:22what is that band the band they're in the next Alfonso is that it his name is Aki and her name is Emma amazing band really dude they're really good but they only - Rhea so yeah here it is exhale font so back to my mail cut give me some give me some volume on this they're really good dude I mean no I listen to this on my way to the comedy store all the time how you pumped up because I don't know what the they're saying so just for me it just feels good it's like celebratory and I get into my own head thinking about my material and I get pumped up listen to this one night you sent me a video you looking at you were listening to something else like Italian music I always do that yeah I always listen to language that I don't understand so you don't think about the words yeah I don't think about the words at all see this isn't I don't understand what this is and there's there's

201:19ignorance in it but there's also freedom so the freedom is that I can hear the beautiful sound of his voice and not have any context to it no no like whatever his messages or anything and I can have it in the background and 100% concentrate on what I'm trying to do yeah and just enjoy it yeah instrument yeah like if you like listening to a shooting star by bad company you know Johnny was a school boy when I heard his first Beatles song that's gonna change the way you feel yeah like you hear about that you're writing about a certain thing you're not gonna build the concentrate on your subject sure I'm gonna do I think it was from there it didn't take him long and when I was in high school everybody wanted to be that guy everybody wanted to be that bright star that burnt out and didn't fade away and it's like man we lost Johnny I just get love when he goes I love when he

202:12goes don't you know tremendous it's a great he's a male yeah I look at his system you scroll down Shawn my sister so my whole family's like this where the male is light-skinned but my sister is dark-skinned I just said it I got it there's some other kids sent me paperwork that I was related to some italian navy guy called Luis Diaz from ninth to from 1832 so I said enough with this let me just spit in the car plus it also tells you where your genetics died and where you might die of well you might get cancer of you might have car vascular disease it tells you you're susceptible if my family did a family reunion in 2000 and they hired this like genealogy expert and they thought like this would be like the big culmination on Saturday ooh to present a family history to everybody in the family it's like who 30 40 people there this weekend no no this was in the

203:13year 2000 and then that guy started telling us about this our first guy that came over from Spain and then where he landed in like 1721 I was pretty cool and then he was just like he was a real piece of and like he killed somebody and he went to he you know went to prison and then he was stealing for people and when he died he left 60 slaves to this person everybody was like well that fools me like there's Diaz's or a Cuban yeah and then there's the Diaz brothers to the Mexican right yeah okay so that means our relatives came from Spain well went to an island yeah and the other one went to Mexico through some way I look at those Diaz brothers and I go I got it this guy were both were two or three of us hmm there's got to be some type of blood that we share cause we're not all there but there's there's also Diaz in Puerto Rico right yes and that's a different

204:17kind of Diaz than the Mexican Diaz too you know yes it's you know it's really interesting once you hear enough Spanish and you hear the difference between like like being friends with you and listening to a lot of Cuban people talk yeah like Cuban people have like a very certain rhythm and then Puerto Ricans have like a different kind of rhythm and Mexicans have their own rhythm all diligence yeah and the funny thing about hanging out with Tom is people look at him and he looks like a broski from like Wisconsin or something they don't realize he speaks fluent Spanish so people will talk in Spanish in front of you all the time about me sometimes yeah all the time they would never guess what what happens when you drop it on them it's it depends man like sometimes you get they like think you can see the shame wash over them they say some ruse at the end I'll say like have a nice day

205:07anything yeah I know I got your app you have a great day rusty they could possibly and they're like and then bones no sometimes they there's like a laugh sometimes you know I've had it go even I remember in high school my cousin came from Peru and we went into it was the reverse we went into a what is it GNC yeah we were like 14 and I go in Spanish because he's visiting I tell him this place is easy to steal from and then I don't realize that the the lady working at the store was banished yeah oh so instead of she just let us kind of look around and then and then she started speaking to us in Spanish we were like oh yes we thought we were speaking to some crazy code you know like this isn't you know a Farsi that you're gonna run into a lot it was Spanish but it happens all the time in yeah so I also realized that I don't know what happens to you because I don't look

205:57Spanish a lot of times spanish-speaking people don't want me to speak Spanish to them was I if they're here they're they're not appreciating that you're not letting make it letting them show you that they can speak English a lot of times that's interesting because Americans wouldn't give a if you were over in like Italy and so we're talking English yeah and you had like one of those translators you're trying to like yo soy you try to talk to him and he just start saying isn't a problem I speak perfect fluent English oh yeah oh thank God it's just talking here it's different though you'd never be like oh let me struggle sometimes it's somebody that I speak way better Spanish then they speak English really still insist on keeping it English that's rough it gives them a like with me they look at me for a minute and then once I start going off yeah like those hello Oh walk

206:46talk anybody could say those yeah it's when they ask me how's your day going like when somebody's Spanish system it gets up my sound oh I always say if I hello long question we'll see been compiling yeah and they look at me I tell him I'm here fighting with these white people on a day life and they look at me and go okay he's okay but the guy at the weed store at cush Martin yeah they used to be a little security guard and I didn't say nothing to him he never looked at my name he would just look at Joey or some and he would go right that good Italian or he the fat Italian had I let him roll for like eight times and one day I said oh yeah you don't you know look at that photographer Dorothea no more oh Tommy or puta and his face turn pal like he had a gun and everything that he got Pam cuz I said never disrespect me and I'll never disrespect you you son of a he

207:39just turned pale oh we clear these they come here I'm gonna get you discounts on weed up in the valley sure sure because he lived in Hollywood at the time but I would catch people but it's really weird yes some people don't some people don't some people are cool dude you ain't seen somebody kill until you seen Joey Diaz do half Spanish half English in Miami and the improv I bet in 2004 2003 2004 when that place was crazy yeah that's crazy sure I could go off have really fun in Spanish people get great when I imitate as the people you know I grew up around the Cuban guys I grew up around were very funny I was telling a friend of mine yeah that was bartending in high school I had to quit high school in bar ten there was his bookie I hung out their name was our Nardo and he didn't speak no English I used to talk to him he was a Cuban dude built me had a big

208:35big gut and one day he was sitting in a chair like this and my buddy was joke and he's telling him about y'all quoting your body and my he goes I had a go my friend goes what he gonna go home we didn't speak Spanish on Nardo it was really awful yes and my friend goes what are you talking about no fear nor door was sitting in a bar chair that didn't go back and he just started going oh when I go home now forget it they started making believe like he was jerking off and he would make the noises I and everything this bars looking at him his dick hey now but he's going I I and when he would come he would pop back in his chair go ba ba ba ba the whole bar and then he would sit back you know oh oh you'll it being si Baja his father he would play out the whole thing the people running and you're very life today that put you in jail I uh a few of you did that today have you

209:56leaned back in the bar and started jerking off into the sky oh my god did put you in jail that's sexual assault just to do the impersonation I'm sure didn't Jim Morrison get in trouble for that he pulled his dick out his dick out yeah yeah famous concert but I thought that it during mr. mojo risin he would make believe he was whacking off and he got arrested I think our boy who got arrested the comedian for doing something on stage like a sexual something which guy the original gun Lenny Lenny did I think he just got arrested for talking I don't think he would ever pull his dick out I think that no no I'm not same point dick I mean like doing the motion oh maybe we definitely are prosecuted for profanity was this a yeah Jim Morrison's many of the nearly 12,000 youth said they found the bearded singer's exhibition disgusting including included in the audience where hundreds of unsorted

211:00junior and senior high school girls Morrison appeared to masturbate in full view of the audience screamed obscenities and exposed himself he also got violent slugged several in parentheses concert promoters and threw one of them off the stage before he himself was hurled into the crowd with his dick hanging out Wow interesting he says to this day Morrison's bandmates deny this version of events as guitarist Robby Krieger explained the spinner they were complaining about Jim whipping it out on stage which he didn't do 500 photos were entered as evidence the trial and not one of them showed anything of the sort regardless after rejecting a plea bargain the singer was found guilty of misdemeanor counts of indecent exposure and open profanity and sensin sentenced to prison time and a fine the case was on appeal at the time of his death July 3rd 1971 Wow interesting in

211:58clemency board in 2010 voted to pardon the singer more than 40 years later who the knows would happen if they don't have a picture his dick out I thought they had a picture of it if they don't have a picture his dick out somebody could have yelled his dicks out which is just like yelling fire in a crowded building he whole thing at the end of hell a woman mr. mojo risin yeah right and he would make believe right yeah yeah maybe to them it looks like masturbation to him it looks like he was playing like an air guitar yeah he pretended to jerk off yeah maybe you not allowed to do that back then really I would deny like a good 40 percent of all of our material it's a lot of it I told you you can't fake jerk off on stage a boy Who am I gonna make this myth work there's a couple specials that are gone entirely that was one of my best ones yeah you need to edit out all

212:57the stroking it parts you'd be like oh so limited in my game damn it I had to get the out of here what the Joey Diaz it's only three and a half hours into the show it's Jesus I gotta pick the baby up listen this is one of my favorite times ever oh my god no I'm gonna have to review it to find out what the you said that made me laugh taught I literally couldn't breathe but to everybody that's been on the show thank you thank you to everybody listening thank you thanks to all everybody from top to bottom I love the out of you people more to come and Tom Segura and christina pazsitzky is your mom's house one of the best podcasts on the Internet of course Church what's happening now Lisa at the Flying Jew and the great Joey cocoa Diaz available on everywhere and that's it thanks we'll see you more Hey are ready to go for our law is it that pedalin cry everything tonight oh all

213:52right we love you guys thank you love